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Tap Your Way To Success 2

Holiday Gift Guide 7

Using Breath To Deal With Stress 6

Happy, Safe, Healthy Holidays For Animals 11

Independently owned and published in the Pacific Northwest U.S.A. — and read BY people around the world! VOL. 9 NO. 8

www.newspiritjournal.com

DEC. 2013

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

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By Krysta Gibson

My parents were early risers and so am I. It doesn’t matter if I hit the sheets at 10 p.m., midnight, or 2 a.m., my internal clock wakes me between 5 and 5:30 a.m. This article isn’t about my sleeping routine except to say it is because I am an early riser that I was able to interview someone very special for you this month. Not long ago, I hopped out of bed at 5 a.m. and let the two corgis out for their morning routine. As I was standing on the porch awaiting their return, I saw a red blinking light out amongst the trees in my backyard. What could it be? The corgis didn’t seem to notice it and weren’t barking at anything. Strange. After the dogs came running back to me, I let them into the house and decided to investigate the light. I walked slowly towards the red light and as I did, what do you think I saw? Yes, indeed, it was Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer in all his glory. As I crept closer to him, he raised his head and slowly walked towards me. Before long, we were standing within a foot of one another. He was really big; much larger than I thought he would be. Having been raised with all sorts of

THE GIFT OF SUFFERING • 3

animals, I am pretty good at animal communicating so decided to see if Rudolf would talk to me. Quietly, I whispered to him, “Are you Rudolf and will you talk to me?” He twitched his shining nose a bit, wiggled his ears, looked me in the eye and silently said, “Yes, that’s why I’m here. I have a message for your readers.”

“Wonderful,” I said. “Last year, your boss Santa spoke with me and our readers loved it. Tell me what you want to say and I will share it with them.” Here’s what Rudolf said he wants you to know. “There’s one area of life I know a lot about, an area in which many humans are lacking. I want to give you some pointers about becoming better leaders. Oh, sure, I

POWERFUL NETWORKING • 4

EVENTS • 12

hear some of you saying, ‘Leader? I’m not a leader. It’s all I can do to live my own life. Don’t expect me to lead others!’ “This is where you would be wrong. Each and every one of you is a leader. The problem is you don’t know it and don’t act like leaders. And some of the people who think they are leaders are doing a terrible job and need to learn about being leaders or step down from the positions they hold. “I’ve been leading Santa’s reindeer for centuries as did my father and his father. There are secrets to leading the team of reindeer and these same secrets apply to leading humans. “Many humans feel lost these days. Lost because they think they have to be followers but feel their choices of who to follow are not very good. That’s because you are not meant to be followers like a herd of sheep. You are meant to be thoughtful people who are following your life purpose. “Every one of my reindeer knows why they exist. They know their life purpose and they are dedicated to following it. My job as their leader is to remind them of their purpose and support them however I can in following the vision of life they carry in their hearts. “Here are my tips for better human leadership. 1. Leaders lead by example. They don’t push from behind. Can you imagine if I tried to push the other reindeer rather than leading them from the front?

2. Leaders have high principles and do not lead from selfishness.

My goal as a leader is to get my team to pull Santa’s sleigh so we can deliver all the Continued on on Page 6

TURN HECTIC HOLIDAYS INTO SEASONAL SUCCESS • 10


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NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013 By Dr. Craig Weiner

What do champagne, the neon ball in Times Square, and New Year’s resolutions all have in common? They all appear sparkly and bright on December 31 and almost the next day have disappeared. Research shows that up to 88% of New Year’s resolutions end in failure, yet each year more than half of Americans still make them. What is it about the changing of the year that either inspires or pressures people to make such a great effort to try and change something that they have been unable to accomplish over the past 365 days? It’s the unacceptability of the current condition. Whether you are talking about your weight, your relationship, your job, or anything else, sheer willpower only goes so far in breaking unhealthy patterns. People believe they are exerting free will in their decision making, but research shows greater than 40% of the actions people performed each day weren’t actual decisions, but habits. Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habit, writes that habits “can emerge outside our consciousness…they often happen

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

Tap Your Way To Success without our permission…(they) shape our lives far more than we realize… and they cause our brains to cling to them at the exclusion of all else, including common sense.” Some habits and patterns serve us well. Others don’t. It’s those that suck away our joy, health, and deep connection that so many of us wish to let go of on December 31. The turning of a “new leaf” or new calendar is one of the few times when we traditionally pause to reflect upon the quality of our lives and take measure. The question that remains is if wanting to change is enough? Unfortunately, usually, no. We have worked with thousands of individuals who in the past, had come up short despite strong intentions and efforts. What do we do differently with them that allows for change? Well, you may have heard of a funny-looking process that’s used effectively by millions around the world to create surprisingly quick transformative changes in their health, love, and work, called EFT. It stands for the Emotional Freedom Techniques, and is often referred to as “tapping.” You may have seen it on the Dr. Oz show or read testimonials by folks like Bruce Lipton and Deepak Chopra. It’s sometimes referred to as an emotional version

of acupuncture and it’s used to reduce the stress and unconscious blocks that stop us from creating change in our lives. Here would be one way that you could begin to explore how EFT tapping could help you to release a block that might be a common New Year’s resolution. First find an issue you wish to work on. Let’s say for example that you wish to lose 20 pounds. It’s important to understand that with

EFT, the more specific you are, the more effective it will be. So, find a specific memory of a time in the past that you tried, but failed to follow through on your resolution to change. In this example, we will recall a dinner party with friends at which you helped yourself to three servings of chocolate ganache cake after promising yourself to only have one small serving. Step One: The Setup. Begin by thinking of the event and noticing what emotion comes up for you. Perhaps it’s embarrassment from seeing someone noticing your enjoyment of the extra helpings. Next, notice if you can feel embarrassment anywhere in your body. Lastly, guess at how strong that emotion is on a 0-10 increasing intensity scale. That is what we need to get started. Take four fingers of your dominant hand and gently tap repeatedly on the outside “karate chop” point of the other hand and repeat the following: “Even though I feel____ (i.e. this embarrassment) thinking about ______(i.e. the three servings of cake), I still deeply and completely accept myself.” Repeat three times. Step Two: Tapping the Points. Next, you will be tapping several points, one after the other, perhaps three to seven times; it doesn’t have to be exact. It doesn’t matter which side of the face and upper

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body you start with, and you may alternate sides if it is easier for you. The points are: top of head, third eye-point, side of the eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, chin point, collarbone, and under arm (see illustration below). Using your middle and index finger, tap these points while saying a reminder phrase to keep the mind focused on the problem. Use the reminder phrase “this_____,” filling in the blank with the emotion. In this case “this embarrassment.” Step Three: Assess and Continue. Measure your progress by checking how intense the feeling is now after a round or two of tapping the points. You may continue for another round of two by modifying the phrase slightly to, “Even though I still have some remaining _______ (embarrassment), I deeply and completely accept myself. The reminder phrase for this would be “this remaining_____ (embarrassment).” All these steps become second nature after you have practiced on yourself several times. As you begin to release the emotional intensity and energetic blockages associated with past unsuccessful and related experiences, you’ll be amazed at how much more easily changes can occur without baggage attached. That being said, given the fact that most of the associative learning and memories in our neural networks are below the level of consciousness, it is incredibly helpful to have a trained coach/ practitioner to help guide you Continued on Page 3

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NewSpirit JOURNAL

The Gift of Suffering

earth.” He meant that the relief would never come from the external material world where everything eventually ends. Because the ego was programmed by the five senses, it computes its reasoning only from that perspective. If you ask your computer software a question, all it can ever give you is what it was programed to do. And a good clue you are asking the wrong counselor for advice is if the problem persists. There is a way out. If you want bliss and eternal peace, you have to go to where the experience of bliss and eternal peace exists. It is not in the material world of things. When

By Dr. Jeff Alexander

Have you ever been so engaged with the voice in your head that you missed an exit while driving in the car? Have you ever argued out loud in the car by yourself? Some cultures call that insanity. When you wake up in the morning, does the world ask you “How would you like me to be today?” Notice that life will come at you whether you are ready for it or not. The ego creates anxiety because it perceives the unknown as a threat. Fear then attaches itself to the unknown. The game begins by attempting to manipulate the external conditions of your life in order to avoid pain. It begins to accumulate the things that bring pleasure. Many spend the rest of the days living in this endless cycle of dissatisfaction. The ego draws you in because pain is a physical feeling. Physical pain is an essential part of survival for the external world in which we live. Internal pain is derived from emotions. And emotions are the body’s reaction to what the mind is thinking. It is your reaction to the stories in your head where suffering arises. The heart feels the contraction in the body because it is convinced that the stories in the head are real. You feel the pain whether it is real or not. The problem is that we often interact with others out of this delusive thinking causing great harm to each other. Many great masters left clues and spiritual signposts along the path. Jesus said to, “Store your treasures in heaven, not on

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Tapping Continued from Page 2 in connecting the dots for those blindspots that you cannot see. Also, when one considers working on past traumatic events, one should not attempt doing this alone and should either consult with a professional trained in these techniques or consider becoming more competent by attending a clinical EFT workshop. Whether it’s the transition to a new year, a new birth year, or any other opportune time that you are looking to make a real change in your life, consider that there are methods like EFT that can significantly increase your odds of winning your life’s jackpot. Alina Frank and Craig Weiner, D.C., are certified EFT Universe trainers and teach EFT and EFT Matrix Reimprinting workshops to individuals and professionals across the U.S. For an upcoming schedule of trainings and videos, go to www. EFTtappingtraining.com.

you are hungry you feel the empty feeling in your body. The longer you go without food, the more pain you feel in the body. You then go where the food is and eat. Again we are given another signpost from Christ. “Man does not live by bread alone.” Spiritual hunger can only be fed by spiritual food from within and not the external world. You have got to go within. When you are spiritually hungry, the programmed software in your head still uses the same programming to attempt to ease the heart pain. It won’t work. I often say, “You can get it with a feather or you can get it with a Mack truck.” Soon your heart feels more intensity as you move away from the “feather” and towards the “Mack truck” experiences. You can’t feed a spiritually hungry person with a physical solution, no more than you could feed a hungry person by showing them a recipe. Ironically, we seek guidance on how to relieve the pain of suffering from the very thing that created the suffering. That is like asking the prison guard’s advice on how to escape from your jail cell. The mind, which was created to be a ladder to the divine, unfortunately becomes a stairway to hell. The ego program wants techniques, strategies, and road maps of how to get there. While it is extremely important to have these tools, they are nothing but signposts that direct you down the path. Spiritual seekers often get off-track collecting signposts instead of following the message they offer. When nothing else works, God has given the final fail-safe experience that will eventually turn your head towards the divine. It is called suffering. Usually accompanied by physical discomfort and pain, it will eventually push you in the right direction. Have you noticed it is everywhere? Unfortunately, all one has to do is pick up a history book to see that humanity has taken the Mack truck route of awakening. The soul wants to use the mind to navigate through our beautiful world. God has given us the ability to feel pain so we

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can direct ourselves back towards home. When we ignore His direction of spiritual laws and go to the false idol of the ego, we suffer. Consider the possibility that God’s final gift was to experience suffering. When finally reaching the depths of suffering, the ego will shut down. A moment of calm and opening occurs. Many call this divine intervention. When all else has failed, the ego has no programing left so Spirit sees an opening and breaks through. This is an awakening moment. Many going through the grief of tragedy often report that it took hitting rock bottom for them to finally get it. The question to humanity becomes obvious. Is it possible to get it with a feather instead of waiting for the Mack truck? It is a decision that each one of us must face. It is important to take baby steps and be kind to yourself as you move forward. As you experience the reward of traveling down a different path, you begin to touch the infinite and get a glimpse of what is possible. Once the soul has an opportunity to drink from the waters of Spirit, it takes its rightful place on the throne as king soul and is self-realized. When feeling scared and alone, remember that the road you take has been traveled before. If you are reading these words you have made considerable progress. That makes you all the wiser the next time suffering arises within you. Remember that when you “walk through the Valley of Death, to fear no evil because Spirit is always with you.” And the key word here is “walk.” It didn’t say, “Sit in the Valley of Death.” This means to keep going no matter what. Sometimes a shortcut to heaven is straight through hell.

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DECEMBER 2013

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

Powerful Networking for Soul Proprietors What Is Powerful Networking? When most people think of networking, they typically think of business deals and glad-handing, but networking can go beyond just the business arena. You can engage in networking to learn what’s new and evolving in your field of expertise, and to connect with other people for learning new skills and information that helps not only your business but enriches your personal life as well. Many people use some form of networking to achieve personal goals or simply to make new friends. Whatever passion you have in life can be augmented through building a network of like-minded people. With a network, you can accomplish more of whatever it is you do in life, including growing your business. Powerful networking is a life skill that can be easily learned. It involves going out in a systematic way to meet new people in order to build a list of contacts. With powerful networking, you’re meeting people with a clear goal in mind. However, it’s not an activity you do only when you want something; it’s an ongoing process that creates long-term, mutually beneficial relationships.

The Basics of Powerful Networking Powerful networking is based on two fundamental concepts: abundance and reciprocity. Abundance simply means that there is plenty of everything to go around. When you have a good contact, or a helpful skill, you don’t keep it to yourself. You connect other people, they connect you, and there’s no sense of competition. Reciprocity is just a fancy word for a simple concept: when you do something good for others, it comes back to you many times over. When you help others with no expectation or return obligation, then their natural response is to help you back. This is

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the “power” of powerful networking.

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The foundation of powerful networking is the idea that you are a resource for others. Of course you expect some benefits from building your network, but this shouldn’t be your sole focus. Instead, you are a resource that others in your network can use. When you pay it forward in this way – helping others solve their problems with your knowledge and expertise – they’ll be more inclined to help you in return.

Getting to Know You Long before you expect anything out of the people you meet, you simply need to get to know them. There is no short-term gain in powerful networking. Everything is done for the long-term benefit. You must first build trust, rapport, and good communication with the contacts you meet. It takes time to earn their trust and build this rapport, so don’t start asking for favors immediately.

Six Degrees of Separation A major benefit of powerful networking is referrals. This means connecting people within your network who have the skills or knowledge that others need. It’s one of the best things you can do for another person. Likewise, people in your network will introduce you to other people you can help or who can help you. In this way, a network grows organically and exponentially.

Becoming a Powerful Networker Powerful networkers aren’t born.

by Marty Marsh

Effective networking is a skill you learn and practice just like playing the piano. One of the great myths about networking is that some people have the gift and others don’t. Many soul proprietors tell me that they really dislike networking and for good reason. Most people have been taught that, “she who goes home with the most business cards wins.” Too often networking feels phony and disingenuous, and just one faux pas during your networking can potentially lose you dozens of possible contacts. As you learn the skills to becoming a powerful networker, keep these golden rules of networking etiquette in mind to help you stay on the right path. You’ll be a powerful networker in no time. 1. Respect your contacts. Never give someone the name of one of your contacts without asking that person first. Instead, you may say something like, “I know someone who might be able to help you. Let me ask her if it’s okay to give you her name and contact info and I’ll get back to you.” 2. Dress for success. Never walk into a networking event looking anything but your very best. If you’re not sure of the appropriate attire, dress a little nicer rather than more casually.

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3. Do what you say you’ll do. If you say you’ll introduce someone to one of your contacts, make sure you follow-up with the name and number after checking with that person. If you promised to send someone information about another event, make a note so you’ll remember to send it. 4. Don’t phone someone out of the blue. Send a note or an e-mail first expressing your delight at having met them and remind them who you are. Let them know you’ll be calling them soon to check in. This is not a sales call; it is a “get to know you better” call. 5. Don’t forget about them. Even if you haven’t made any specific commitments to your new contact, you need to make an effort to stay visible and in touch to develop a relationship. Connect on social media, comment on their blogs, send notes or holiday cards, and say hello at the next event. 6. Thank everyone. As part of your follow-up, make sure you thank everyone who provided even the slightest tip, recommendation, advice, or other helpful piece of information. Tailor your thank-you based on the person and the help offered. You might send a private message on LinkedIn, a formal thank-you card, or even just a tweet. Use common sense in all your networking and remember that all relationships take work and nurturing to flourish, whether they’re personal or business. Make the time to take care of these little things and you’ll earn a reputation for professionalism and courtesy that people respect. Marty Marsh believes that your successful business is the catalyst for creating massive positive change in the world. To that end, he specializes in helping you, the entrepreneurial change-agent, to attract your perfect clients and to grow your business quickly and with ease so you have the resources to truly make a difference in the lives of the people you serve. To learn more about powerful networking, download Marty’s 120 Tips for Powerful Networking at www.networking.stayintouchmarketing. com.

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NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013

5

The Heart of Psychotherapy in Less Than Four Minutes By Dan Keusal, M.S., LMFT “So tell me, where does the arrow point to? Who invented roses?” — Dar Williams

I’ve often wished I had some brief way to convey to people what the course of psychotherapy might look like, the many benefits it offers, and why it is worth the effort and the time and the expense. Thanks to something I encountered on a recent day off, I think I’ve found a way to do this in just three minutes and 52 seconds. An e-newsletter that showed up in my inbox one morning featured the latest CD from a songwriter named Dar Williams. I’d heard of Williams years ago when I was working as a performing musician, and was curious to see what she’d been up to, so I followed the link in the newsletter and listened to a few clips from her new CD. From there I poked around her website, and then searched YouTube for her music videos. The video that caught my attention, though I wasn’t sure why at first, was for a song called What Do You Hear In These Sounds. I clicked on the link to start the video and learned in the first few seconds that this was a song about Williams’ experience as a client in therapy:

“I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak I go and I find the one and only answer every week And it’s just me and all the memories to follow Down any course that fits within a 50 minute hour” I was already intrigued, but it was the next few lines that really got my attention, because they suggested that Williams and her therapist had gone beyond expedient, problem-solving approaches to therapy, and into deeper, richer waters: “And we fathom all the mysteries, explicit and inherent When I hit a rut, she says to try the other parent And she’s so kind, I think she wants to tell me something, But she knows that it’s much better if I get it for myself” That’s the heart of good therapy; to create the space where a client can “get it for myself,” where they can come to see that their psyche, in its own good time, knows exactly where to go and how to get there. This flies in the face of the stereotype that therapy is about going to an expert to get their answers; instead, it fosters in the client a confidence in their own inner wisdom, a wisdom that holds the power to guide and sustain them long after any particular answer has outlived its usefulness. In the last verse, Williams shares her fear that if she opened up to others who are on this journey, “I would only start confessing, and they’d know that I was scared and they would know that I was guessing.” It seems we all feel that way sometimes;

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I hear it every day from my clients: “I feel weird”...“I feel different”...“Everyone else seems to get something that I don’t.” But Williams says that through telling “the stories that nobody hears,” she found that “the wall came down”...and that is when she saw that others were “just like me,” that she was not alone. Therapy, then, isn’t meant to stop with the healing of individuals. It’s meant to connect us to one another, and to move us out into the world where we can become a force for communal healing. With an open heart and the eloquence of a poet, Williams speaks of her own experience of moving from self to others: “And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink But Oh how I loved everybody else When I finally got to talk so much about myself...”

a song, a painting, a dance, a comic strip, a garden? What clues might that give to what your starting point is right now, and how you are being called to heal and to grow? 3) Dar Williams wrote “I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak.” What stereotypes, what fears, get in the way of you seeking out help and support? What might be a first step in moving past those fears? A note on the song’s title: I think it is Williams’ twist on a famous psychological test, the Rorschach inkblot test. In the Rorschach, patients are shown a series of inkblots and asked “What do you see?” Conclusions are then drawn from analyzing the client’s answers. Williams, I suspect, was simply showing that a good therapist, working with a musician (whose way of engaging the world might have more to do with sound than sight), might ask the client to listen deeply to their life, rather than look at it, and then ask a different question: “What do you hear in these sounds?”...

Jung once wrote that “When you treat the Dan Keusal, M.S., LMFT is a Jungianindividual, you treat the culture.” We live oriented psychotherapist and astrologer in a culture that is in deep need of healing in Seattle. Information on his practice, and transformation. Perhaps that process his workshops, and his free e-newsletter will get a booster shot when more and more can be found on his website, individuals turn their attention to evocative www.dankeusal.com. questions like “What do you hear in these sounds?” And that process... may begin with you. Helping women awaken the Soul Goddess within Want to go further? Try one of these ideas: 1) Go to YouTube, watch the video of Dar Simple Truthful Life Williams performing What Do You Hear In with Lizzie Bennett, RN, MSN These Sounds, and see how you respond. What thoughts and feelings come up for • Body Work you? • Aroma Therapy 2) Often, our psyche, our process, • Energy Medicine is opened up not through self-help or 2013 ad psychologizing, but through the December arts. What Counsel and classes to heal the soul piece of art has touched you lately; a novel, www.simpletruthfullife.com

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NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

Using Breath to Deal with Stress By Guy Joseph Ale

Breath is the foundation of life, and every aspect of your life begins with your breath. Breath is the true barometer by which to measure your mental, physical, and emotional states: level of anxiety, fitness, tightness, ease, or stress. The quality of your breath indicates how balanced and aligned the different systems of your body are at any given time. The life force coursing through your body manifests itself through your breath. When we learn how to master our breath we can be in control in every situation in life. Our daily routines are filled with small and big annoyances, and potential causes of anxiety. When we find ourselves in a

“tight situation,” the natural tendency of the body is to stiffen, and the breath to become shallow or restricted. These are the hereditary responses of our survival mechanism: the fight or flight instinct. The solution for situations like these is to learn to do the opposite: breathe deeply and evenly. What you want to carry with you throughout life is the clear understanding that your breath is your personal domain, and no one can enter this private space uninvited. It is your castle and your kingdom, and the firm ground on which you can stand no matter how dangerous a certain situation might seem. Whatever negative circumstances we encounter, we can always draw inside, center ourselves, and regulate our breath; deep, steady, and free. Here are some helpful phrases to carry in your mental toolkit and to repeat silently to yourself when you face a tight situation: • My strength is in my breath. • When I control my breath I control my life.

The Leader You Were Meant To Be Continued from Front Page gifts to the right places on time every year. What if I suddenly decided I would rather munch on some hay in a meadow because I was hungry? 3. Leaders tell the truth. Delivering all those packages every year is hard work. I would never pretend otherwise to my team. It’s important that they know how much work is involved so they can freely choose to join the team or not. 4. Leaders praise rather than punish. Sure, sometimes some of my reindeer team aren’t as fast as others and they slow us down. But every time they move in the right direction, I praise and encourage them. Never do I punish or

embarrass them. 5. Leaders love what they do and bring enthusiasm with them to every task. I can’t imagine a better way to spend Christmas eve than to fly through the skies with my team and hear Santa’s ‘Ho, ho, ho…’ ringing in my ears.” At this, Rudolf took a few steps towards me and placed his furry cheek next to mine. As he touched me, I felt an electric charge run through my body and I heard him say, “Please tell your readers they are leaders. Tell them we need them to step forward and assume their rightful place of honor, high principles, truth, and love. If only they will do this, others will follow and peace will once again reign supreme on

earth.” As he nuzzled me, I said, “Yes, I will. I will go inside right now and write down what you’ve said this morning and I will put it on the front page of our December issue. Thank you for the visit and please tell Santa I said hello.” With that, Rudolf made a clicking sound, turned around and before I knew it he was airborne, flying away into the morning darkness. I followed the blinking red light as long as I could, then turned around, came inside, and wrote this down for you. Krysta Gibson is the publisher of New Spirit Journal as well as an author and teacher. Learn more about her at www. anoasisforyoursoul.com.

on the count of 15 or 12. • Repeat this sequence five times. • Rest We will end this • The oxygen of the whole set now, and you’ll world is available to me. be able to repeat it This last idea is as many times as you especially important: to like as you go about realize that you’re never at your daily routines. a lack for oxygen. There’s The enormous always plenty of air around benefit of this simple you to fill your lungs to exercise is that it full capacity, so you never shows you that you feel deprived of breath or are in control of anxious for space or safety. your breath. The fact Here is a simple exercise that you are able to which will help you pace your breath develop mastery of your over a count of 5, breath. and then 10, and then 12, or 15, is a Mastering clear sign that you Guy Joseph Ale says that when we Your Breath have now made your learn how to master our breath we The advantage of the breath a conscious can be in control in every situation in following set is that it can activity which you life. be done anywhere and can manage. It is no anytime, standing, sitting, or lying on the longer something that simply happens. You floor. As you will see, you can also break have now made it a deliberate event which it down to small segments, and do little you can monitor and regulate in every portions of it as you go about your daily situation in your life. activities. Because you can master your breath in • Make yourself comfortable, and the contained environment of this exercise, concentrate on your breath. the more you practice these sets, the more • Pay attention that your inhalations and you’ll be in charge of your breath in every exhalations are steady and even; a free, circumstance you encounter. When you effortless pattern of breaths. face a crisis of some kind that threatens to • Now inhale on the count of 5. get out of control, you can center on your • Exhale without count. breath – because this is something that you . • Repeat this sequence five times. can control – and let your breath carry you • Now inhale without count, and exhale to safety. on the count of 5. • Repeat this sequence five times. Guy Joseph Ale is president of Lifespan • Rest. Seminar and vice president of Asia Pacific • Now inhale on the count of 10. (It helps Association of Psychology. He teaches here to use your fingers as visual reminders, and conducts workshops in the U.S., so you don’t exert yourself mentally while Europe and Asia. Learn more at www. focusing on your breath.) LifespanSeminar.com and contact him at • Exhale without count. info@LifespanSeminar.com • Repeat this sequence five times • Now inhale without count, and exhale Drawing Win an on the count of 10. takes place Feb. 14, 2014 F-250! • Repeat this sequence five times. • Rest. The Foundation • Now slowly inhale on the count of 15, for a Full Recovery using your fingers to keep track. If counting is raffling off a to 15 proves too difficult, don’t worry about 1986 Ford F-250 4x4 it, count to 12. Diesel Pick-up. Tickets • Exhale without count. sell for $25. Buy 5 and get • Repeat this sequence five times the 6th one free! Pick one up at our online store at • Rest. phullrecovery.org. • Now inhale without count, and exhale

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DECEMBER 2013

Reviews by Krysta Gibson

T

his is the time of year when many of us become involved in giving gifts to celebrate our various traditions and holidays. To make gift-giving a little easier, we’ve compiled the following reviews of some products and books that were sent our way. Of course, handmade gifts are wonderful and some of the books we received are perfect in guiding you to make some of your own this year. As you do your shopping, please remember to support our brick and mortar stores as well as the online retailers. And remember to give yourself and others the gift of time and love, two things that are truly priceless!

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Who doesn’t love great juice? When I was asked if I wanted to review the Tribest Slowstar Vertical Slow Juicer and Mincer, how could I say no? I’m glad I said yes! This is the quietest and most effective juicer I have ever used. With Duoblade technology, the new single auger Slowstar juicer works at a slower RPM than other vertical juicers on the market to effectively protect even the most delicate nutrients, and features more torque power to make that possible. When a juicer uses too much speed, it creates air bubbles that degrade (oxidize) the nutritional value of the juice. We juiced everything from oranges, pineapple, and pomegranate to carrots, celery, and even added a banana to some of the concoctions. The Slowstar easily broke down stringy fibrous produce and leafy greens. I have never seen a juicer remove as much pulp as this one does. Some people are fond of juicers that use the entire fruit and which create a thick and sometimes even lumpy smoothie sort of drink. For people who don’t like pulp in their juice, the Slowstar will make you very happy. The double-edged auger creates a double-cut for less

jamming and less pulp in your juice. And the pulp can be used in soups and other dishes so nothing is wasted. Having two edges allows the Duoblade auger to do twice as much work as a traditional auger, which means it only has to spin at 47 RPM to juice the same amount of produce per minute compared to the traditional 80 RPM for other slow juicers. This lower speed preserves the nutritional value of the juice by preventing friction and heat during the process and it produces greater juice yield with less foam. The Slowstar can do more than juice produce. Continued on Page 8

SLOWSTAR JUICER

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DECEMBER 2013

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

in your life, they will love this book full of lore as well as practical ways to apply the information to one’s life. Bees Make

the Best Pets

THE MAGIC PATH OF YOGA

Continued from Page 7 Simply replace the top of the machine with the mincing attachment to turn the Slowstar into a multipurpose tool that allows you to create your favorite recipes like sorbets, nut butters, patés, and sauces and get the most out of your produce. Learn more about the Slowstar, see it in action, and find retail outlets at www.tribest.com.

Children of all ages can have fun with yoga! Here are two fun yoga games for people ages six and up! Yoga Spinner (Upside Down Yoga Games) consists of a plastic box with a spinner on top. The box opens to disclose YOGA SPINNER 66 yoga pose cards colored red, blue, green, and white. As each person spins and then chooses a card, they perform and hold the yoga pose for 10 seconds in order to succeed. The first person to collect one of each colored card is the winner. There are other spaces the spinner stops that keep the game interesting, too. What a great way to learn and practice poses. The box is a little difficult to open but it does make for a compact way to store the game. What a terrific way to teach your child (or yourself) some poses while having a fun time! The Magic Path of Yoga (Upside Down Yoga Games) is also for ages six on up and is similar to

the Yoga Spinner but adds more components. There is a board and a dice to roll as well as the red, green, blue and white cards. And there are yellow cards that contain questions the person must answer. Questions are related to yoga but also to issues such as global warming, nutrition, and global resources. The goal is to move around the board, performing the required poses, answering questions and finally ending up at the center where there is an OM symbol. Included is a booklet that shows the various poses and gives instructions for performing them properly. This game is a bit more complicated that the first one and could be more of a challenge. Again, a delightful way to learn and practice yoga poses and this game is certain to delight the child or adult in your life who practices yoga.

For the animal lovers in your life

Give the beginning shaman or animal lover a copy of The Secret Power of Spirit Animals by Skye Alexander (AdamsMedia). She teaches how to contact one’s spirit animals and features over 200 animals with advice for how to contact and work with them. Bird Medicine by Evan T. Pritchard (Bear & Co) talks about the sacred power of bird shamanism. According to Native American spirituality, birds are our strongest allies in the natural world. If you have bird-lovers

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(Conari Press) is a delightful little book by Jack Mingo that gives fun facts about bees and bee-keeping, something he has done since 2004. The book has humor, interesting facts, and helps us understand what teachings the bees have for us. If you know someone with beehives or who is considering it, they would love this book. Did you know how much dogs do for us during times of war? Canine Commandos (Ulysses Press) by Nigel Cawthorne tells stories about dogs who have served during World War I and II, the Korean War, Iraq, Vietnam and the war on “terror.” The stories are heartwarming and show the depth of the human-canine bond. Dog lovers will enjoy learning more about how dogs have been involved in military operations. Many people are now realizing that the animals in their lives can offer a reflection of themselves as shown in My

Animal, My Self: A Breakthrough Way to Understand How You and Your Animal Reflect Each

Other by Marta Williams (New World Library). This animal communicator offers great ways to understand and communicate with the animals in your life. Marie Matthews talks about Australian Bush Flower Essences in her book Animal Healing (Findhorn Press). Whether the issues are primarily emotional such as fear or stress or physical like breeding and fertility, she explains how essences can help and how to use them.

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NewSpirit JOURNAL

could buy a copy, invite some friends and family over to watch it followed by discussion (and some good food!). It’s a well-done film and full of valuable information you will want to share with others.

General spiritual books

How about a movie? There’s two ways I see to give the gift of Vitality. That’s the name of the movie. It is a 55-minute long well-made explanation of how the health of people and healthcare in the Unites States has evolved since World War II: downhill. This is followed by a great exposition of how to create vitality in one’s life according to four spheres: eating, sleeping, exercising, and the state of one’s mind. There are physicians, physical therapists, a Kung Fu Master, nutritionists and even Dr. Bruce Lipton sharing priceless information about becoming and staying healthy. You could give this DVD to someone who wants to take charge of their health or you

Gift-giving greatness. I have gift ideas that are anything but blah. Tina Price 206.295.7936 Independent Beauty Consultant www.marykay.com/tinaprice .

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Aum, The Melody of Love by Joseph Bharat Cornell (Crystal Clarity) is as delicious as it sounds. Your meditation and yoga buddies will find this book not only inspirational but full of practical ways to weave the energies of this sacred sound into the warp and woof of everyday life. Whether for healing, meditation, or being more creative, knowing how to live the sound of Aum is one of the keys to success. Those who enjoy bringing together the teachings of New Thought or metaphysics with those of ancient wisdom teachings of the East will devour and love The Light of the Christ Within by Reverend John Laurence (Crystal Clarity). Reverend Laurence was a Christian minister who was also a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda. This book is a transcription of many of his talks where he brings together the teachings of east and west. Any of your friends and family who study new thought or eastern religions will welcome this book to their library. How Roland Rolls is a children’s book by Jim Carrey (yes, that Jim Carrey) and illustrated by Rob Nason. The story tells how a wave named Roland learns he is not just a wave but he is the whole ocean. It is a way to help children learn about the interconnectedness of humanity in a fun, colorful, and engaging way. Here’s how to help someone think of you all year long. Compassion Haiku offers 365 Haiku poems and ideas for applying the ideas to one’s life. Designed to support the user in developing compassion for one’s self and others, the book is welldone and hits the mark! Ah, the Kuan Yin lovers in your life will want to use the book Becoming Kuan Yin by Stephine Levine. This is his first book in many years and won’t disappoint those who have enjoyed his earlier works. The story of Kuan Yin and how to

DECEMBER 2013

apply her teachings to daily life makes this a useful and inspirational tool. If I had a dollar for every person who has told me they want to learn how to live by their intuition, I would be a wealthy woman!

do it! Who knew that National Geographic would make a lovely book with photos and wisdom for every day of the year? It’s called Daily Calm, 365 Days of Serenity. The photos are, of course, fabulous and each saying is from different well-known and lesser known people. Here’s the one from my birthday: “The present was an Tune In, Let Your egg laid by the past that had the Intuition Guide future inside its shell.� –Zora You to Fulfillment Neale Hurston. This is a gift that and Flow by Sonia will be appreciated on a daily Choquette (Hay basis. House) will lead For those you know who will be making the reader through four steps to getting in self-improvement plans for the New Year, touch with and living by one’s intuitive self. give them a copy of One Word That Will Heather McCloskey Beck says that if we can take 15 minutes out of each day to do Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Dan what we love, we can create the life of our Britton, and Jimmy Page (Wiley). The dreams. By following our creative interests book will lead them through the process of and personal passions, she explains how choosing one word – yes, one word – to live Aromatherapy, Self-Care, to Take the Leap (Conari Press) and gives by during the coming year. Great book and concept! simple practices and exercises to help usVeriluxgreat Happy Lite Healing Sprays ~Helps S.A.D.~

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DECEMBER 2013

NewSpirit JOURNAL

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

Four Tips to Turning Hectic Holidays into a Seasonal Success! I am sure that at one time or another we’ve all felt it: the everexpanding bubble of stress surrounding us as we enter the holiday season. After all, it’s a tender time with an interesting mix: a flurry of social gatherings, unearthing of traditional family events, and repeat occasions of unpredictable eating. With all the activity and expectations, perhaps it’s no wonder why people tend to fall ill or become depressed. And if that weren’t enough, the average American gains seven-ten pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day. The holidays don’t have to be filled with stress, sickness, and sadness. Here are four tips to help you stay in the driver’s seat this holiday season, giving you a sense of control and ease: Reinvent Traditions Sometimes we go through the motions of the holidays on automatic pilot without thinking how we’d like them to be to make them more nourishing for the people involved. One example of this instance in my own life is that every year my father would make my great grandmother’s special Swedish bread for all to share. His mother had done the same, resulting in his passion to carry on the tradition. The problem was that my mother and I couldn’t eat it. She doesn’t eat yeast and I do not eat gluten. Therefore, for many years, it unfortunately became a tradition that only half of our

family could partake in, even though my father was so enthusiastic to bake the bread. We finally suggested that he modify the recipe to more of a flatbread without as much yeast and without the rising of gluten. My mother and I were pleasantly surprised that he latched on to the idea, and now we have two versions of bread when we come together. Traditions need to change with

decadent foods, balance out your selections with plant foods from a vegetable tray. I am reminded of the study where people had a hamburger alone, and then another meal of a hamburger together with half an avocado. The hamburger by itself increased inflammation, but adding the avocado blunted that response – in fact, it more than blunted – the meal actually became anti-inflammatory. So try eating smarter by coupling healthy, nutrient-dense foods with those you want to eat that maybe aren’t as healthy.

Downsize Serving Ware

the people and times. Think of how you can adjust something that has always been done to accommodate people’s interests, needs, and maybe even simply “shake it up” a bit for fun.

Strategize Social Eating Events Putting some planning into parties could help you feel more engaged with the event rather than being taken over by worry and stress. First of all, before you attend any event, visualize the outcome you desire, feel the feelings you wish to have when you are there, and even imagine the amount of food you will eat before you have taken a bite. Secondly, when it comes to dinner parties, you may want to be the last person to start eating and pace yourself with the slowest eater at the table. Eating slower will keep you more in the moment of the ongoing festivities and help with digestion. Third, if you feel more drawn to rich,

Our social cues determine much of what we eat: the weather, the people, the music playing, any internal messages programmed within, even down to the kind of plate on which we eat. I remember growing up listening to the strong message that I needed to “eat everything on my plate!” The problem with that statement is that every plate is different, it’s a moving target. Whether I realize it or not, I may feel obligated to eat everything given to me or that I’ve selected. Of course, we want to be more conscious of what we are eating and how much, and you can help yourself to do so by re-engineering your eating ware, such as choosing smaller plates and skinnier glasses whenever possible. If that is not possible, use a quick visual cue of putting your hands together in a cupped manner; this cupped space has been associated with the size of the stomach. Therefore, you can aim your best for that amount on your plate.

Focus on the Meaning What if we reminded ourselves to zoom out of our holiday microcosm to expand into the true meaning and reason for the season, to love, share, and give to others? This season, open your heart more than your pocketbook. The more you can pay attention to the people and the experience at a deep level, the more you may extract from the holidays.

Nutrition for Body & Soul by Deanna Minich, PhD, CN, RYT

Before moving full force into the holidays, journal on what this time of year means to you. Set an overall intention or create a oneword intention for each day of the season, setting the stage for your experience rather than being taken over by the avalanche of emotions. As part of this intention-setting process, you could make homemade gifts rather than immerse yourself into the bustle of a mall. One Christmas, my family decided that we would all make each other gifts rather than buy them from a store. I still have the plate my mother made for me with an imprint of The Little Prince (one of my favorites) on it. Every time I see it, I feel such heartfelt joy and it brings me back to the memory of our gifts from that particular Christmas. Here are some creative gift ideas to get you started in that direction: A gift of time and attention such as taking a friend out for a jog, swim, tennis game, or yoga class; an offering to do your friend’s errands for a week; a plant; an herb garden for the kitchen windowsill; donations to a favorite charity. This holiday season, try on something different; be nourished by the season in all its many colors. Let your heart open wide to the celebration and meaning of coming together with friends and family. Deanna Minich, PhD, CN, RYT, is a mind-body-spirit nutritionist and author who bridges together modern science with ancient spirituality in her novel approach to food and eating. See her website, www. foodandspirit.com, and Facebook page, Food & Spirit with Dr. Deanna Minich (www.facebook.com/foodandspirit?fref=ts), for more details. If you are interested in learning more about how to nourish your whole self, please visit www.foodandspirit. com/resources/infographics/ for free infographics to get you started.

Understand your animal friends Martha Norwalk is an animal behavior therapist with over 35 years of professional experience and service. She also hosts her own radio show, Martha Norwalk’s Animal World, Sunday mornings on Alternative Talk AM 1150. She is available for private sessions, either in your home or over the phone. With her holistic approach, Martha can help you understand your animal friends and solve any behavior, training or healing issues that they might be having. Martha’s rates are surprisingly affordable so call now for a free/no obligation telephone evaluation.

Martha’s Canine, Feline and All CreatureCounseling (360) 217-7258 www.marthanorwalk.com marthalight@aol.com


NewSpirit JOURNAL

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

DECEMBER 2013

11

Happy, Safe, Healthy Holidays for Our Animal Friends As I am writing this, I find it difficult to fathom that the holiday season is just around the corner and it’s time to start looking forward to a happy, safe and healthy holiday season with my animal friends. Wishing the same for you too, I am going to begin with some dos and don’ts with our animals’ wellbeing in mind. Like me, you may want to share some of the special treats and feasts that happen during this time of year. That is not a bad thing as long as you are wise about what and how much you share; fresh raw or cooked veggies are fine for most dogs, but no onions or garlic for dogs or cats, and do not expect your dog to be able to digest many whole raw veggies. Fresh fruit is good but don’t overdue it, and no grapes or raisins as they can cause kidney damage. Cooked bones of any kind are bad; raw bones are good. So, no cooked, leftover carcasses of turkey or chicken or ham bones. You can give the raw turkey necks, hearts, gizzards etc. as long as your dog or cat knows to chew them well before swallowing. I recommend supervising them. A good rule of thumb is if it is good, safe, and healthy food for you to eat, it is probably okay for your animal friend to eat. Refrigerate and dole out the leftovers or treats slowly over a few days (you can mix into regular meals) so as not to overwhelm their digestive systems and cause loose stools. Avoid giving them the leftover junk parts that you would not eat, like all the skin and fat. Especially with the smaller dogs you must avoid giving very rich and/ or fatty foods as you can cause a serious pancreatitis. A precautionary advisory to holiday guests about treating your animals may be wise. You may even want to provide some healthy, acceptable treats to your guests so they can openly enjoy rewarding your animal family. At this time, I am strongly recommending

Our Animal Friends by Martha Norwalk

against any jerky, fish or other pet treats made in China. I like to keep some slippery elm around, a tree root and bark extract, that is excellent in coating the digestive tract and stopping those runny stools if you do overdo it. It comes as a powder in capsule form that you can get in most health/ supplement departments at grocery stores. You can poke the capsule down, put it in a Pill Pocket or put the powder in their meal. Be careful not to leave candy treats out in the reach of your animal friends. Most all of us know that chocolate is toxic to our animal friends, especially the yummy dark and baker’s chocolate. Also, a very common sugar-free sweetener, Xylitol, found in many gums and candies, is extremely toxic to animals. Gifts, wrapping and decorations: Do not let your dog watch you wrap gift packages and then leave him unattended with those packages. Monkey see, monkey do, except they don’t know the difference between wrapping and unwrapping. You may find

Leah Johnson

Event Face Painter • Nursery and Business Muralist • Commission After serving two years as a Studio Art major in Carrollton, Ga., Leah has relocated to Redmond to serve as a local artist for change and social evolution. Filling the role as artist of the family, she has been creating all of her life. Now she spends her time as a barista, full-time mom and advocate for social equality. With experience as a commissioned painter for homes and businesses, she hopes to boost the moral and creativity of those around her with what she calls “Raw Expression of the Internal Experience.”

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your gifts destroyed in the morning. Do not leave wrapped packages out that contain food of any kind as our animal friends have great noses and may be tempted. Be sure to collect all ribbons, strings, and rubber band type items as these can be deadly if swallowed by dogs or cats. Be wise about holiday decorations if you have a young or destructive dog in the house or playful cats. Most could cause problems if chewed on or swallowed. If you have a real Christmas tree, make sure your animal does not have access to the water at the base if it is treated with preservative. If you have a live in-a-pot tree, and cats, cover the dirt with wire mesh so they do not decide to use it as a litterbox. No breakable ornaments in animals’ reach, please. If you light real candles, please remember dogs and cats are not usually aware of their tails when passing by. So, supervise and place the candles in areas where critter tails cannot catch on fire or knock them over. Holiday plants: Poinsettias are not toxic to dogs and cats as we used to think. No need to banish them from your house. It is however, a good idea to not allow your animal friend to eat the leaves as they may cause a mild gastrointestinal irritation. Christmas cactus are not toxic to dogs and cats. Lilies are extremely toxic to cats. Just chewing a leaf can be fatal. As much as I love them, I do ban lilies from my house. On the chance you may be feeling inclined, do not give live animals as holiday gifts. Ask the potential recipient, honor it if they say “no” and give a gift certificate if you must. Now, gifts for our animal friends. My best

pick for dogs this year is a HuggleHounds toy. They are plush stuffed animals with squeakers in them. They come in very small to large sizes. They are mine and Robbie’s favorites because they are made from almost indestructible material so your dog can chew them as well as snuggle them. They are available in most pet stores. You can find a store locator on their website at hugglehounds.com. I also recommend a flirt line with a Skinneeez toy attached (see last month’s column at www.newspiritjournal. com). My gift choices for cats are oldies but goodies: a Da-Bird wand toy, Petmate’s Cat Crazies and Spot’s Colorful Springs. Of course, empty cardboard boxes are great too. May you and your animal friends enjoy the happiest, healthiest, and safest holiday season ever! Martha Norwalk is an animal behavior therapist and host of Martha Norwalk’s Animal World, Sunday mornings, from 9 a.m. to noon on Alternative Talk AM 1150. She can be reached at Martha’s Canine, Feline and All Creature Counseling at (360) 217-7258 or www. marthanorwalk.com. For a free, no obligation telephone evaluation or to make an appointment for Martha to work with you and your animal friend, give her a call.

Heartbeat Healing Arts Studio

Unwind and leave your stress behind in a tranquil setting in downtown Kent. Find total relaxation with Cortney’s Reflexology and Massage.

Cortney A. Johnson LMP/CR (MA 00014504)

253-797-4130

www.ovatu.com/sites/heartbeat-healing-arts-studio/3777

Monica Schley, Harpist spiritual ceremonies & rites of passage (wedding, funeral, baptism, birth) celebrations of the season (Christmas, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah) house concerts, public parties, private & business functions harp lessons (Seattle and Bellevue) classical, celtic, new age, folk, jazz solo harp, harp + voice, harp + cello duets & other combinations

206-720-6486, harppoet@gmail.com, www.monicaschley.com


12

NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013

Events • Classes • Workshops DECEMBER 3, JANUARY 7, FEBRUARY 4, 11:30 A.M. - 1 P.M. Good Company Networking Lunch. Join us for lunch and networking. Cost is the price of your lunch. SILVER SPOON THAI RESTAURANT, 3828 196th St. SW, Lynnwood, WA 98036 • For directions only: 425-967-3255. See menu at www.thaifoodforyou.com You don’t have to eat to join us but please do not bring in any outside food or drinks. December 7, 2013 noon-5pm Metaphysical Holiday Gift Fair. Free Admission. Jewelry, Pendulums, Aromatherapy, Crystals Handmade items, Numerology Pendants, Tarot and Oracle Readings, Gift Certificates! Support your local artists, psychics and vendors!Contact Dakara 425-267-9738 dakara@dakara.com. Fundraiser for the K-Mart Angel program. December 7 & 8, 9 am-5 pm daily Business Essentials for Wellness Practitioners with Christa King and Mary Lee LaBay Business Essentials for Wellness Practitioners will put you on the fast track to success, saving you time and money, and preventing you from the mistakes commonly made by most new practitioners. You will gain the tools, knowledge, and confidence to launch a successful practice! Private residence in Bellevue, WA. www.maryleelabay.com/ calendar or 425.562.7277 December 14, 9:30-noon Spirit of Christmas Workshop Ananda Meditation Temple, $25 Come to Christmas with an attitude of gratitude and find the Spirit alive. Let us take a moment to prepare the cradle of our hearts for the blessings of this holy season—true inspiration, deep joy, and the spirit of giving & friendship. Nayaswami Jamuna will share inspiration and practical suggestions that will make your Christmas celebrations more meaningful. We will consider the birth of Jesus-an avatar: why then and why there? What are the gifts of “the Christ”? Looking at the many symbols and reflecting on their deeper meaning. Preparing your mental orientation with a new focus for these “Holy Days.” www. AnandaWashington.org 425-806-3700

December 15, 9:30 am-12 pm, $20 Pendulum Essentials 101 at East West Bookshop with Reiki Master, Gianna Rosewood. Faced with hundreds of decisions daily - the pendulum is a tool that can help simplify that process. In this experiential playshop, learn to select, program, and clear a pendulum and much more. 206-523-3726 , www.eastwestbookshop.com. December 15, 10:00-11:am, Festive Family Christmas Pageantry and Service, Ananda Meditation Temple, Free. Bring the whole family for this festive, joyful and inspired Ananda tradition of celebrating the birth of Jesus and the promise of our own immortality in the universal Christ consciousness of our soul. Awaken the sleeping Christ child which is our own true Self within. Children “of all ages” will participate in this annual pageantry which is followed by the annual Christmas party to which all are welcome. www.AnandaWashington.org 425-806-3700 IIIIIIIIIIIIIII I I I I I I I I I I I I I I Roi & Taylore I I 360-748-4426 I I I • FREE Reiki 1 Training I I & Certification Class! I I I 9am-4pm, Dec.7 I • Become a Reiki Master I I I I by taking Reiki 1, 2 & 3 I Dec. 7-8, $200 I I I • Find and delete energy I I blockages I I • Heal the disease called financial I hardship and struggle I • Get I rid of ancient family curses I • Find the root cause of any I I disease I I • Learn how to improve I I relationships and/or attract I I a mate I I • Increase your Spiritual I I connection and much more.... I I reikiranch@gmail.com I I www.Laserreiki.com I Near Chehalis, WA I I IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

DECEMBER 17, JANUARY 21, FEBRUARY 18, 11:30-1 PM Good Company Networking Lunch! Join us for lunch and networking. Cost is the price of your lunch. CHAIN BUFFET, 14561 Chain Lake Rd., Monroe, WA 98272. For directions only: 360-217-8226. Chinese buffett and lunch specials. You don’t have to eat to join us but please do not bring in any outside food or drinks with you. No reservations required. For more information visit www.newspiritjournal.com December 24, 2013 9-10 pm, Christmas Eve Candelight Service, Ananda Meditation Temple, Free. Christmas Eve enfolds us in the sacred glow and promise of the rebirth of divine love and joy in our hearts. This popular Festival of Light Service brings out the sacredness and inwardness of our soul’s eternal longing for peace. www.AnandaWashington.org 425-806-3700 DECEMBER 24, JANUARY 28, february 25, 11:30-1 PM, Good Company Networking Lunch. Join us for lunch and networking. Cost is the price of your lunch. Bring your own or purchase a delicious lunch at East West. East West Bookshop, 6500 Roosevelt Way NE, Seattle, 98115.

Visit www.newspiritjournal.com to submit your events. Listings are due the second Friday of the month for the following month’s issue. Event listings are free of charge. We include as many free ads as possible each month. For guaranteed placement, listings are $30 for up to 50 words. Send your event listing by the 2nd Friday of the month to krysta@newspiritjournal.com

January 4 “EASE AND GRACE.” Learn to support other’s emotional and psychological wellness! Helping others to release the toxic affect of experiences is helping them to achieve wellness. Add a remarkable technique to your healing practice! January 4, 2014 9am - 2pm. www. simpletruthfullife.com/classes, or call 347-762-6224. North Seattle area. Starting January 9, SoulTender Circle - A year-long exploration of the territory of the soul in a supportive community environment. Creativity, love, joy, wisdom, all come from connection to the Deep Self. Learn how to connect safely with the spirit world and nourish your soul to live life to the fullest. Register by December 20th. www.melissarosenberger.com

EVENT LISTINGS ARE FREE OF CHARGE.

We include as many free ads as possible each month. For guaranteed placement, listings are $30 for up to 50 words. Send your event listing by the 2nd Friday of the month to krysta@newspiritjournal.com.

Jan 31 - Feb 9, 2014. Yoga, Meditation, Rainforest Hiking, Swimming, Wildlife, Oneness Training. $1,495 includes 9 nights hotel, all meals, all transport. Goddess Garden Hotel is in the old growth rainforest, by the beach. www.holmanhealthconnections.com 425-303-8150 February 8-9 & March 1-2, 2014 9am-5pm daily Hypnotherapy: Spiritual Awakening with Mary Lee LaBay Through specialized hypnotherapy techniques, delve deep into the experience of spiritual connections, enhance your intuition, expand your consciousness, engage in self-discovery, and explore playful tools for inspiration so that you may provide these same benefits to your clients. $635, 50 CEUs. Private residence, Bellevue, WA. www.maryleelabay.com/ calendar or 425.562.7277 February 14, 2014 Win an F-250. The Foundation for a Full Recovery is raffling off a 1986 Ford F-250 4x4 Diesel Pick-up. Tickets sell for $25. Buy 5 and get the 6th one free! Pick one up at our online store at phullrecovery.org.

Feb. 22 - March 1, 2014 HEAL YOUR LIFE WORKSHOP LEADER TRAINING. Become a licensed Heal Your Life workshop leader in the philosophy of Louise Hay. Our training is authorized by Hay House and approved by Louise Hay. For complete 2014 schedule and details go to: www.healyourlifetraining.com

MARCH 8

ADAM DREAMHEALER at BASTYR University EXPERIENCE 2 unique group energy healings with Dr. ADAM McLeod- Dr. of Naturopathic Medicine, international author & speaker, Molecular Biologist, and gifted Native American healer. Learn techniques to focus intentions embracing your own healing power.

Register at: www.dreamhealer.com

Be sure to visit newspiritjournal.com where you will find audio interviews to listen to or download,articles not in the print edition, and much more. It’s all free and it’s all available 24/7.

December 29, 2013 1-5pm Manifesting Candle & Healing Playshop - Are you ready to Manifest your dreams in 2014? Join us for an afternoon of inspiration, creating, fun and healing. Powerful healing process to clear blocks. Set forth your intentions, wishes and dreams! Contact Dakara, 425-267-9738 dakara@dakara.com www.DaKara.com/candleVQ.html December 30, 2013 6:00 PM New Moon Manifesting Call live on the phone - replay available. Contact Dakara 425-267-9738, dakara@dakara.com. Take a journey through the energy of this new moon’s energy. Astrology information, healing and guided meditation. Full details http://NewMoonCheck.com

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

GOOD COMPANY: A relaxed networking lunch where we gather to share great food and even greater company. We visit, network, and make referrals. Find out why some people say this is their favorite networking group! Sponsored by Krysta Gibson and Rhonda Dicksion of New Spirit Journal

Join us for lunch and good company! A Monthly Gathering of People Of Positive Influence

People of Positive Influence (PPIs) are those who are living their lives in such a way as to be a positive influence on the world around them. It doesn’t matter what kind of work you do or where you do it. If you are helping to make the world a better place, if you are reading New Spirit Journal,you are a PPI! Join us for a monthly network gathering.

LYNNWOOD

First Tuesday: Dec. 3, Jan. 7, Feb. 4, 11:30-1 p.m.

NEW LOCATION: SILVER SPOON THAI RESTAURANT

3828 196th St. SW, Lynnwood, WA 98036 • For directions only: 425-967-3255. See menu at www.thaifoodforyou.com

MONROE

Third Tuesday: Dec. 17, Jan. 21, Feb. 18, 11:30-1 p.m. ,

NEW LOCATION! CHAIN BUFFET, 14561 Chain Lake Rd.,

Monroe, WA 98272 • For directions only: 360-217-8226

Sunday mornings at 10:00 AM CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE AT 6:00 PM The Kuntzen Family Theatre Dumas Bay Centre, Federal Way

Love - Light - Holiday Cheer

Discover & Live Your Divine Potential Unity of South Sound www.unityofsouthsound.org | 253-517-3883

SEATTLE Fourth Tues.: Dec. 24, Jan. 28, Feb. 25 EAST WEST BOOKSHOP, 11:30-1 p.m.

6500 Roosevelt Way NE, Seattle, WA 98115.

Now you can participate in the monthly Good Company Club marketing support call

sponsored by Marty Marsh, marketing coach, author and speaker (www.martymarsh.com). Join in this call either by telephone or computer and network with other Soul Proprietors. For details and to sign up for the free calls, go to http://innersuccesscircle.com

Now

THREE

lunchtime meetings every month!

For information about Good Company, call 425-356-7237


A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013

Where You’ll End Up is The Question By Paul Timo It’s easy to become accustomed to whatever we’re doing or for that manner, to what we’re not doing. Years can fly by, and before we know it we can feel like we’re stuck without any chance of living the life we dreamed we’d have. I’m here to share that we can have a life of joy that we could never have imagined. We can be similar to heat-seeking missiles, but instead joyseeking spiritual beings in human form. After having anxiety for over 50 years, finally I was allowed a reprieve. It came through making some choices for the better. I had been almost immobilized for a long time, and change was not something I could easily do. (And of course I had negativity, fear, and worry, with the anxiety.) My back was to the wall. I flew to New Mexico and learned some consciousness principles. I learned about attachment and how people can get “lost in the jungle” of relationships,

beliefs, etc. At the end of 2009, I decided to change some of my relationships. I took a break from a responsibility, and also from a static type job I’d performed for over 20 years. Also, I performed some decluttering in the prosperity and abundance bagua of my home. Immediately something brand new showed up in my life. I call it shamanic drumming, as do other people who benefit from the effects it creates. Eleven months later I was in the studio recording a quite amazing CD. What I’ve learned since June of 2009, as I continue to use this process to recreate and recreate, is the following: Life is a blessing. We have everything we need provided for us in every moment. We are continually receiving agreement from everything around us. To be able to hold that as often as we can in our consciousness is a most wonderful spiritual practice. We each have unique gifts to share. Most of us

The Classifieds

haven’t yet begun to realize what they are, let alone share them. Also, the discovery and sharing of our unique gifts is not static. It continues to morph. What fun and excitement awaits all of us. When we can be fulfilled with the sharing of our gifts, then we can be in true joy. Imagine the entire planet of people in joy and sharing their gifts. There are demands on our time, relationships we’re in, and beliefs that we have. We need to look at all of it often. If we let our life get too full, we won’t be able to allow for our answers to come to us for what we are here to do. I went on two vision quests this last summer. Each time I got clarity and things fell more into place. During my day I have a sense that things are always falling into place. Spiritually, everything is perfect and in a state of flow. “Listening” is the process of being aware for these answers that come to us. They come through all the different senses, but

Churches and Spiritual Homes

Churches and Spiritual Homes

Churches and Spiritual Homes

Pet problems? Bach Foundation Registered Practitioner, Karen Dossett, can help your pet deal with veterinary visits, behavioral problems, stress in general, and your pet’s overall well-being. Appts. by phone, Skype, or in-person. (425) 402-3790.

Amor Spiritual Center - We are a community of love where all spiritual beliefs are welcome.When we love ourselves and each other with our hearts and stay mindful of our thoughts, we experience unlimited freedom and joy. Come celebrate life; yours, mine and ours! 2528 Beacon Ave, Seattle, WA 98144, www.AmorSpiritualCenter.com

Living Interfaith, Lynnwood, WA, gathers to share and celebrate our diverse spiritual paths. We are Jews, Buddhists, Muslims, Christians, Humanists, Seekers. Our services celebrate holy days from our many spiritual paths, and deal with timely Interfaith topics. We come together not to convert or convince, but to share. All of good will are welcome. www.LivingInterfaith.org. 425-343-3915.

UNity is an open-minded, accepting spiritual community that honors all paths to God and helps people discover and live their spiritual potential and purpose. A positive alternative to negative religion, Unity seeks to apply the teachings of Jesus as well as other spiritual masters. www.unity.org. 800-248-6489.

Since 1980

Astrology by Mark Dodich

• Natal • Romance • Business • Spiritual Purpose Relocation Maps for your best locations on earth FREE NEWSLETTER 503-252-1558 www.astromark.us

Chocolate ARE YOU A CHOCOHOLIC AND WANT TO EAT HEALTHY? — Take a look at www.chocoperfection.com. ChocoPerfection is a sugar-free chocolate bar that is sweetened from chicory root fiber. 0g sugar, 2g net carbs, 14g fiber. Wholesale pricing available for holistic providers and retail locations. Free Shipping. 800-332-1773

Churches and Spiritual Homes FIrst Spiritualist Church of Puyallup Sunday Service 11am , 314 second ST SE Puyallup WA 98372 253-845-4444 All are Welcome, A Spiritual Pick me up every Sunday. Come as you Are. Just Behind City Hall in Downtown Puyallup www.first spiritualistchurchofpuyallup.com or on facebook at puyallup spiritualist church

The Theosophical Society encourages open-minded inquiry into world religions, philosophy, science, and the arts in order to understand the wisdom of the ages, respect the unity of all life, and help people explore spiritual self-transformation. Offerings includes classes, workshops, and bookstores named Quest Bookshop. www.theosophicalsociety.org. 630-668-1571. Seattle Gnostic Center Spiritual Psychology & Meditation, Transformational Study & Practice, Wednesdays 7-9pm, Kabbalah, Alchemy, Mindfulness, Astral www.gnosticcenter.com 206-365-0826 Amazing Grace Spiritual Center is a New Thought church where we honor the Universal Truths taught by all religions. Check out one of our Sunday services: great music, great message and great community. Dynamic, progressive, open and affirming. Find us online at www.amazinggracespiritualcenter.org. UNited Centers for Spiritual Living based on the teachings of Ernest Holmes. Offers classes, workshops, services, and fellowship focused on positive living within a spiritual framework. www.unitedcentersforspiritualliving.org. 720-496-1370. “AMPLIFYING DIVINE LIGHT IN ALL” CHURCH, Kirkland, WA. A unique, independent gathering of peaceful Starseeds. www.divinelightchurch.org. Rev. Alia Aurami, 425-466-4001.

mine usually come in idea form. My best time is first thing in the morning when it’s quiet. If I can, I bed down before 9 p.m. and am up in the stillness before 3 a.m. (without an alarm). I delight in letting my “answers” come, and I jot down the jewels in my vision journal. We receive our intuitive hints all day long, however. “Trusting with faith” to know that whatever you get is what you were supposed to get. If it feels right to you in your heart, then it is the right thing for you to do, no matter the end result. If the end result is maybe what you would not have preferred, that is only your human self having a preference based on the values of our culture. Your spiritual self has bigger plans for you than just being some normal person doing the preferred and normal socially acceptable way of life. We need to be able to risk it, to risk making choices. Fear is only human makebelieve. It doesn’t exist but seems so real. It is only through making choices that we are able to change for the better anything about our existence. Only through the change that Continued on Back Page

To advertise in this section, please visit www.newspiritjournal.com. Deadline is the second Friday of each month for the following month’s issue

Animal & Pet Services

Astrology

13

Church of Divine Man is a non-profit organization focused on spiritual freedom. The emphasis is on teaching spiritual techniques to allow spirit to awaken and create consciously in the physical world. These techniques and teachings are based upon ancient wisdom and presented in a modern-day format. Take charge of your spiritual creativity by meditating with purpose. www.c-d-m. org or call 425-258-1449. CHURCH OF SPIRITUAL TRUTH. Sunday Services 11:00 a.m. CAMP EDGEWOOD NSAC - 1228 26th Avenue Ct., Milton, WA 98354. Everyone welcome. 253-927-2050. Ananda Church of SelfRealization founded by Swami Kriyananda, direct disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda is a movement based on the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda that helps you bring God into your life through meditation and spiritual living. Offers classes, services, Living Wisdom Schools, and spiritual communities in the United States, India, and Italy. www.ananda.org. Call 530-478-7560. Centers of Light teaches Christian mysticism and finding truth through experiences, not dogma. One-on-one teacher/student relationships offer the personal counseling and love that is rarely found elsewhere. Spiritual communities support each other with integrity, honesty and joy. www.centersoflight.org

Energy Work/ Massage/ Mind-Body Healing PSYCH-K® brings peace of mind in your relationships, raises confidence, and more by changing subconscious beliefs. Allow your beliefs to transform your life experiences. Complimentary Consultation. www.elianadiamond.com

WICCA: Aquarian Tabernacle Church, open to all. Free monthly Lunar celebrations, classes, other events. For more information call 360-793-1945.  www.aquatabch.org.

Are you ready to be Pain free? I have found this is possible with my “integrative massage”. The key is combining words, energy, touch, and sound all in one session. www.kentmassage.com

Classrooms For Rent

Hypnotherapy

Bright, beautiful 500 sq. ft. classroom for rent in Bellevue for full day and multiple day use. Tree views with windows that open. Kitchenette with sink and fridge, folding tables, chairs, pillows. Ample parking, easy freeway access. Northwest Reiki Center, 4205 148th Avenue NE, Bellevue 98007, 425-736-6980

Energy Work/ Massage/ Mind-Body Healing West Seattle Healing Massage Experience Lomilomi, the ancient healing art of the Hawaiian islands. It will empower you to heal and transform through Spirit/Akua. It’s all about you! www.westseattlehealingmassage.com 206-349-6404

Classified ads are due the second Friday of each month for the following month’s issue

Lisa Crunick, Hypnotherapist & EFT practitioner specializes in moving you from emotional pain, to humor, to desired behavior. Call 206-941-1287 for immediate relief.

Life Coaching Brenda Miller, Radical Awareness® Coach, assists people to feel fulfilled and at peace as they journey toward peak performance, better relationships, job satisfaction, and forgiveness of self and others. Call to discover what’s possible: 206-529-8282.

Ongoing Events Reiki CLASSES and Circle. Free Reiki Circle 2nd Sunday of every month. Level I & II Classes plus 3-month Master and one-year Master Teacher Training programs. Free Mini-sessions. Northwest Reiki Center (425) 736-6980. www.nwreikicenter.org Journeys through the Open Heart: Let me be a friend on your journey as you fall madly in love with your life. Dale Stubbart. YellowBearJourneys.com FREE Sahaj Marg Meditation for human perfection through yogic transmission. Ph (206) 522-2502

Spiritual Healing-FREEThursdays 2 PM with Pranic healing, ascended master with channeled information, and more. Camp Edgewood NSAC, 1228 26th Ave Ct , Milton, WA. RSVP 253-845-4907 or 206-878-4079 Center for Spiritual Living Seattle. Sunday services at 9am and 11am, Wednesdays at 7pm CSL is a trans-denominational, inter-generational, not-your-usual church. We provide a safe place for “the rest of us” who are looking to connect with God/Higher Power/Universal Presence, but don’t really fit in with any one religion. www.spiritualliving.org

Psychic Fairs the NW

Psychic Fairs Spirit & Alternative Health

– Admission Free –

3 Locations - Every Month Kent: 1st Saturday Mill Creek: 2nd Saturday Bel Red: 3rd Saturday

www.nwpsychicfairs.com 425-562-4777

Publications Devoted to goodwill dialog, Christian*New Age Quarterly explores the differences between and common ground of Christianity and alternative spiritualities. Top-quality articles, sound scholarship and lively columns make this a genuine interfaith bridge — entertaining and thought-provoking. Visit www. christiannewage.com or send $3.50 for sample to PO Box 276, Clifton, NJ 07015-0276.

Readings JOHN JENNINGS Psychic Channel 206-417-4903.


14

NewSpirit JOURNAL

DECEMBER 2013

A COMMUNITY NEWSPAPER FOR SOULFUL LIVING

A Peaceful Path on Your Journey By Angelica Rose

We all want to find a peaceful journey on our path in life. A peaceful journey includes an abundance of unconditional love and joy. It’s easy to practice peacefulness when we are on vacation or in a nature environment. The challenges occur when we’re surrounded by outside circumstances that seem unjust, unloving, and unfair. This is when our peaceful journey tends to be shaken, and chaos occurs both internally and externally. In order to have a peaceful journey in life, it’s important to embrace and accept what is with compassion especially during the chaos. So let’s examine the difference between a “soap opera” lifestyle and a “peaceful path” on your journey in life. This will give you the opportunity to discover your “soap opera” lifestyle and learn ways to transform it to a more “peaceful path.” I define a soap opera lifestyle as an emotional and mental attachment to unjust, unfair, and unhappy situations, creating drama and judgment. Soap opera lifestyle occurs during the observation stage, where you analyze a part in yourself, in a situation, or in others where there is a lack of peace. You perceive this lack of peace occurrence with judgment, and react with internal beliefs that could lead to hate and

anger. Your focus is on the “outside world” attempting to change the situation and/or person. There is a tendency to want to fix, transform, and improve the unjust, unfair, unhappy part in yourself, with others, and in situations. This external focus will lead to a victimization and a feeling of helplessness. You will become discouraged, frustrated, confused, and angry, possibly becoming mistrustful and jealous of others’ success. You could have passive/aggressive behaviors and feel you have to protect and defend yourself and/or even others. This feeling of helplessness will push you into a deprivation focus where you put your attention on what you don’t have and want. Our mind is like a computer: what we focus on expands and creates that reality. We can summarize the soap opera behavior as expecting results, which leads to trying to control the outcome, push “time” and over doing. Trying to control the outcome, over doing and expecting certain results leads to conditions of want with a time limit of when and how you want it. The results are disappointments, victimization and feeling stuck when the conditions are unmet. Many common reasons for the soap opera behavior stem from a “need” for approval, acceptance or love or possibly righteous and controlling beliefs. The peaceful journey is an internal serendipity with circumstances that seem unloving, unjust, and unfair. You know there is a positive reason for this circumstance, which leads to growth, wisdom and opportunities. Therefore, you don’t over analyze and you apply acceptance, enjoyment, appreciation, value, trust and faith with the unknown. You understand

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that if it’s important to know the reason in time you will know. The peaceful journey begins with quieting the mind chatter, opening the heart and applying gratitude, appreciation and acceptance. You look “inward” first rather than attempt to change or fix the outside world. You let go of attempting to control situations or people and move into acceptance. From acceptance comes a greater understanding which allows you to then become proactive rather than fear based. I call this spiritual hearing, where you have an awareness of your connection to source. You choose to focus on love, knowing the more you come from your heart, the more peace, joy and abundance you will manifest. You accept and have compassion for others, especially when there is chaos, unjust, unfair and unloving situations. The steps for a peaceful journey are pretty simple, yet can be challenging when obstacles occur. The application for a peaceful journey begins when you hold self-love and acceptance. You value yourself and your work so others will too and you do loving things for yourself to increase self-love. When you

see through the eyes of love and acceptance, you hold a “light” of awareness, peace, joy and abundance. There is acceptance and compassion for other living things from your divine heart. Some helpful hints on staying on a peaceful journey in your path to life are as follows: • Practice meditations to quiet the mind and connect the heart on a deeper level. • Practice being at peace with the unknown. • Relax the mind chatter, calm the emotions and surrender to having to know the answers now. • Come from compassion and acceptance releasing the desire for understanding and remaining free of all attachments especially with fears and insecurity. Attachments are where you emotionally personalize, physically have addictive behaviors, and mentally over-analyze. The book I wrote, Living Life as You Always Dreamed, has more on living the peaceful path and how to release attachments. May peace, joy, abundance, and love be with you. Angelica Rose, a national gifted Energy Essence Specialist since 1991, is a certified hypnotist. Angelica provides a variety of readings with angels and guides as well as reading energies in the eight chakra points. Angelica is the author of books, relaxation CDs and DVDs, and inspirational stickers. http://heartofmotivation.webs.com/

Fighting Continued from Page 15 And, of course, some times resolving the problem at-hand is what would best improve the relationship. Think for a moment about what your usual goal is. To win? To be understood (or to understand your partner)? To get it over with? To problem-solve? Whatever your default goal is, pause before you get too deep into your next disagreement and ask yourself if your default goal is really what will bring you and your partner closer together. Pause and ask yourself, “What can I do or say right now in this particular fight/conversation/disagreement that will improve our relationship?” Elizabeth Franklin, M.S., is a marriage and family therapist working in downtown Renton. See her website for more information: www. elizabethfranklin.net. Sliding scale fee available.

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14911 Chain Lake Rd., #431, Monroe, WA 98272 • www.newspiritjournal.com • (425) 356-7237 Publisher and Co-editor: Krysta Gibson • Krysta@newspiritjournal.com Designer and Co-editor: Rhonda Dicksion • Rhonda@newspiritjournal.com All content ©2013 by New Spirit Journal • ISSN: 1930-370X Columnists: Krysta Gibson; Marty Marsh; Deanna Minich, Ph.D., CN, RYT; Martha Norwalk. New Spirit Journal is a monthly publication dedicated to self-empowerment, joyful co-creation, and thoughtful Earth stewardship so that everyone can reach his or her maximum potential. Readers are responsible for their own decisions when reading the publication, contacting advertisers, or otherwise pursuing their path through life. Advertisers are responsible for the claims they make and are expected to operate in good faith, tell the truth about their work or products, and treat their clients and customers fairly. Articles are due by the first Friday of the month. Ads are due by the second Friday of the month. New Spirit Journal is distributed the last week of each month for the following month. Advertising rates and writer’s guidelines are available upon request or can be viewed at www.newspiritjournal. com. Sample copies will be sent for $2. Visa and Mastercard are accepted. Subscriptions are available for $21.70/one-year bulk rate. Washington State sales tax is included.


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NewSpirit JOURNAL

What Are We Fighting For? Elizabeth Franklin, M.S., M.F.T.

Most couples in relationship fight or have disagreements from timeto-time, and, consciously or not, we make assumptions about what the goal of fighting is; assumptions that may or may not support a healthy relationship. What assumption might you be making about the purpose of a fight?

2. To make my significant other understand my point of view. Now, maybe your goal isn’t to win but you do want to be understood by your partner. He or she is free to disagree, and you’re willing to compromise about the outcome of the disagreement, but your goal is to communicate your view well enough that the other person will get it, and get you. That is, after all, a big part of intimacy: understanding and being understood. Of course, sometimes what we mean when we say that we are not being understood is that, despite my explanations, my husband stills disagrees with me: making the assumption that if he actually understood me, he would agree with me. Sometimes what we mean by “understand me” is “agree with me.” Being understood and understanding the other person is important, but, truthfully, most relationships, most healthy relationships, involve people who do not “get” everything about the other person, no matter how right you are for each other or how long you have been together. The need to be understood in every facet of our being is a way to defend against the existential reality that we are all ultimately alone.

3. To get the fight over with as soon as possible and return to peace. Even for people who aren’t conflictavoidant, most people find fights unpleasant. At times, fighting with a loved one can bring up fears of abandonment. The fight might make you question whether you are meant for each other. After all, you know couples that say they never fight, so how can you really love her (and how can he really love you) if you fight like this? Even apart from these kind of relationship worries, fights are simply physiologically stressful: the heart races; you run out of breath; the adrenalin is pumping, blocking you from thinking straight and so on. The goal here is simply to get out of the fight as fast as possible, whether that means a quick

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1. To win. Near and dear to my heart as the daughter of a trial attorney, it seems obvious that the goal of a fight is to win the disagreement. We are fighting because you don’t agree with me and it is important to me that you come to agree with me because the issue is important and I am right. Unfortunately, my need for another person to acknowledge that I am right may tear the relationship apart, not build it up. This is true regardless of whether or not I am right. This bears repeating: you may be right about your point of view, but to win an argument and prove you are right may not be in the best interest of the relationship. Like Dr. Phil often asks his guests: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

DECEMBER 2013

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When couples fight, says Elizabeth Franklin, the question to ask, “What can I do or say right now to improve our relationship?” or “What will bring us closer together?” compromise or shutting down and letting the other person “win,” so peace can return. While this approach (avoidance) may help stop you from saying things you’ll regret (and this can be very important sometimes), it does little to build intimacy.

4. To resolve the issue. At first, resolving the issue may seem like the true goal of a healthy disagreement, and resolving a disagreement in a way that is satisfactory for both parties is laudable. And sometimes resolution is how a fight will end, and it’s great to have those problem-solving skills. One issue, though, is that not all disagreements can be resolved. Agreeing to disagree is sort of a resolution, until you find yourselves arguing about this same thing again next week. Another issue is that some arguments aren’t about resolving or fixing a problem; they are about being heard. (See #2 above.) So what is the real goal of fighting in an intimate relationship? The real goal, and benefit, of fighting is to improve the relationship. So the question to ask yourself when a fight starts is not “How do I get my point across?” nor “How can I get this over with?” The question to ask is “What can I do or say right now to improve our relationship?” or “What will bring us closer together?” In some cases the answer might be winning (e.g., when a moral issue is at stake and to win protects you and your loved one), and some times the answer might be to make oneself understood and thereby increase your intimacy, and sometimes the answer is to end the fight quickly (to spare feelings, or to give you or your partner space to calm down) may best help the relationship. Continued on Page 14

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We are delighted to welcome back Dr. Larry Dossey, MD for an interview on Friday, December 13. Dr. Dossey is the author of twelve books on the role of consciousness and spirituality in health. We will be talking with him about his newest book, “ONE MIND: How Our Individual Mind Is Part of a Greater Consciousness and Why It Matters”. On Monday, December 16 our good friend Jim Self, international speaker, author and leader in the field of spiritual development will be returning for an interview with us. You won’t want to miss Jim’s recent update on the current “shift” that’s happening on the planet. From solar flares that are changing the magnetics on the planet to what is personally happening with everyone living on planet earth, Jim will give us the latest information.

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DECEMBER 2013

Found Objects

NewSpirit JOURNAL

your divine presence in my In my daily life.” work with When your loved one crosses over, they’ll often clients, manifest signs in nature I’ve heard to let you know that hundreds of they’re still watching over you. Yet we stories frequently dismiss about these signs as By Sue Frederick meaningless. grieving How frustrating people this must be to finding our loved ones on the other side. an object They reach out that they to comfort us and we dismiss it as believe coincidence. is a sign When Paul and I from their were falling in love, he gave me a beautiful silver departed necklace and matching loved one. These earrings with a jade moon and star pendant. The necklace pendant experiences are and each earring featured a crescent always very healing moon with a star in the middle of the for the grieving person, crescent. He told me that he was the moon and I was his shining star. This became a moment that helps them the symbol of our love, and I wore the understand that their loved one necklace every day. Many times during our relationship he whispered to me, “You’re my lives on and watches over them. shining star.” On Valentine’s Day, seven months after Three days after his death on July 13, we my husband Paul died, I was going through held an outdoor memorial service in our a filing cabinet, looking for financial backyard. It was a clear beautiful summer information to prepare my taxes, when I evening in the mountains. A group of about discovered a chocolate Valentine heart with 30 friends sat in a large circle, sharing Paul a ribbon wrapped around it and a note from stories. Paul wishing me, Happy Valentine’s Day. It In the middle of this heartfelt evening, stunned me to find it. a friend nudged me to look up at the sky. As I sat on the floor, crying and amazed to Directly above us was the crescent moon be holding a Valentine’s gift from my dead with a bright star (Jupiter) in the middle of husband on Valentine’s Day, I remembered the crescent, exactly reflecting the image in that one year ago, Paul had said he couldn’t the pendant Paul had given me, which I was find a little Valentine’s gift he’d bought wearing that evening. I shared this uncanny me. He was frustrated that he couldn’t sign with our friends and passed around my remember where he’d put it. One year later, necklace for everyone to see. The pendant seven months after his death, he nudged me was duplicated in the sky above our heads. to find it where he’d left it. He helped me We all felt a rush of energy and knew find it exactly on Valentine’s Day. that Paul was with us. It was a healing These impossible events are not moment for everyone in the group, a sense coincidences. They’re our loved ones of his presence and a sign of divine order reaching out to help us heal and to show in action. Later I learned that the sky us that we’re not alone. Take a moment to configuration with Jupiter nestled inside reflect on when this may have happened the crescent moon rarely occurs. I don’t in your life. Do you remember finding believe in coincidences. Imagine how many something that you knew in your heart was factors were in motion to line up that exact a gift from your departed? Honor them by astronomical configuration (which had acknowledging you received it and knew it always symbolized our relationship) on the was from them. Say, “Thank you, I recognize night I would be sitting outside, mourning

Where You’ll End Up Continued from Page 13 comes from taking risks can we be exposed to new opportunities and people. Change and growth go together. All that is required is to perform very small action steps toward one’s truth. What is revealed to be done, if it feels right to you in your heart, is the right thing to do. A phone call or an e-mail can change your life entirely if you are willing to risk it. Some people would rather goal set in some line of work they’ve done forever to play it safe. What they may be forgoing is some opportunity that would be so rewarding that they would not be able to comprehend how it could have showed up. You come first, no matter what. Please make time for you to get quiet and let insights come that you can record and ponder. Some people get imagery, some

get ideas, some get smells. It can all be interpreted at some point, at some time. Record it in a vision journal for later reference. Something you get now may not make sense for a month. Never doubt anything you get. The main thing is that everything fits, and that life is easy if we get out of the way. Allow it space to be able to come, and your cornucopia of joy will be flowing nonstop. Then as a warrior, keep with the process, the constant vigilance of where and with whom you spend your time. And you will thrive in the joy you manifest. Paul Timo is a life coach who delights in passionately sharing what he has learned firsthand to help people get more joy and fulfillment in their own lives. (425) 2608878, e-mail pvtimo@gmail.com.

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his loss with my friends at his memorial service. Divine order is so much greater than we can imagine. To learn more about embracing your higher self and listening to your intuition

in order to open yourself to seeing the messages from your departed loved ones, pick up Sue’s book Bridges to Heaven: True Stories of Loved Ones on the Other Side. www.CareerIntuitive.org; Sue@ BrilliantWork.com; (303) 939-8574.

NEW SPIRIT JOURNAL, DECEMBER 2013  

A Community Newspaper for Soulful Living