Page 1

HAYATI No 9

TAP ANY HEADLINE TO JUMP TO THE STORY!

+ 3

0

STYLE GUIDE TO

AFRICAN FASHION

falke by aisha LEADING AFRICAN FASHION HOUSE TO BE RECKONED WITH ISSN: 2327-0314

7 HOT SPOTS

IN AFRICA

EASY BEAUTY FEEL GOOD TIPS

LOOK INTO THE CHILD NOT BRIDE CAMPAIGN THE COMING OF “MISS MUSLIMAH WORLD”


HAYATIHAYATI No 9

No 9

TAP ANY HEADLINE TO JUMP TO THE STORY!

+ 3

0

STYLE GUIDE TO

AFRICAN FASHION

falke by aisha LEADING AFRICAN FASHION HOUSE TO BE RECKONED WITH ISSN: 2327-0314

7 HOT SPOTS

TAP ANY HEADLINE TO JUMP TO THE STORY!

IN AFRICA

EASY BEAUTY FEEL GOOD TIPS

LOOK INTO THE CHILD NOT BRIDE CAMPAIGN THE COMING OF “MISS MUSLIMAH WORLD”

ISSN: 2327-0314

THE AFRICAN ISSUE


R O S E L L E D U B A I - D O H A


HAYATI Magazine

ALL THANKS BE TO THE ALMIGHTY

Hayati Magazine 180 Talbott Street, Rockville, Maryland, 20852 No 9 September - October 2013 Chief Brand Officer: Fatima Togbe The magazine HAYATI is a publication edited for Hayati by Kimera Media, Potomac, Maryland, 20854 FATIMA TOGBE Editor-In-Chief AAMIRA JOHNSON Director of Marketing & Advertising aamira@hayatimagazine.com

BINTA MOHAMMED Online Editor & Content Director binta@hayatimagazine.com +1(573) 415-0275

RUMKI CHOWDHURY Writer

SARA YOUSSEF Writer

HOLLY KNOYLE-HUGHES Beauty Writer ALYA ALFATHEL Online Blogger NILLY “MANGO WHIRL” Online Blogger CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER: Henry ‘Big H’ Studio MAKEUP: Jide St. Ola GRAPHIC WORK: Kimera Media MODELS: Nabila Agwai, Maryam Muhammed and Sadiya Muhammed FRONT COVER CLOTHES: Falke By Aisha

For more information about advertising, makerting, sponsorship, media coverage, sponsored features and more contact the Director of Marketing and Advertising, Aamira Johnson at aamira@hayatimagazine.com or visit our media kit site: www.hayatimagazine.com/mediakit

Special thanks to Inusa Ubby, Yanate Banigo, Ronke Adegbite, Chinny Okoye, Kabir Idris, Falke by Aisha, Mimchie, Maryam, Sadiya, Nabila and All our readers and followers.

Hayati is published monthly by Kimera Media, Potomac, MD, 20854. Hayati is currently only available online. Subscription is free. For information about reprint, e-prints and previous issues please contact +1(202) 618-7284 or media@hayationline.com. The Editor is not responsible for the texts, photos, illustrations and drawings published herein, which are the sole responsibility of the authors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written consent/permission is strictly prohibited. Hayati cannot accept responsibilit for submitted material.

FALKE BY AISHA ABUJA - LAGOS - KADUNA


Editor’s Letter

Editor’s Pick

TOP

5

F O S K C I P EDITOR

H T N O M E H T

Geometric

LOVE

Crazy Shapes

loving the life you live

Gold is always elegant. It has and will always be a great way to accentuate most outfits. Hervé Van der Straeten, $1,285.

This month unlike other I have found myself thinking more and more about marriage and children. It could possibly be because I am due to get married soon insha’Allah or because I spent a great part of this month with my good friend Aisha going through her bridal collection. Who knows, but I am not complaining though. We went for something out of the ordinary this month 3 FRONT COVERS!! Yes I know… but I really could not decide between all three beautiful young ladies; Nabila, Sadiya and Mariam. There are all so beautiful in their own perfect way and I could not bring myself to using just one of them. This African issue has been really fin to put together. From the African inspired jewellery, to the prints, the Nigerian Muslimah winning Miss Muslimah world, to the tiniest things like recipes; I really enjoyed myself. We briefly touched on a very important subject which is the child bride struggle many countries are facing; especially in Africa and the Middle East. I would really love it if you all could email us your thought about the issue within this month so we can dedicate an entire issue on addressing this problem. I hope you all enjoy this issue and do not forget to stay in contact with you via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and or email.

Fatima Togbe 8

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

9


TOP

PICKS OF THE MONTH

10 EDITO

TOP

PICKS OF THE MONTH

10 EDITO

Neutral

BLISS

Blue Prints

I love the pattern on this dress. It’s easy going and light. Remeniscent of a Greek summer vacation. Suno, $895.

Grandma’s

Jewels Gold Paint

These are the type of earrings I would become crazy about overnight and would want to wear with every outfit. Dolce & Gabbana, $595.

10

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

11


TOP

PICKS OF THE MONTH

10 EDITO

TOP

PICKS OF THE MONTH

10 EDITO

Cat

EYE

Sexy’s Back

Don’t you love this pair of cat eye golden shades. They are definetly one of the sexiest pairs out right now and should be on your shopping list! Linda Farrow, $1,040.

Overnight

SPA

Soft Touch

I am always complaining about my hands not being soft enough or my fingers not keeping up with my manicure and finaly there is something that works. Sarah Chapman, $69.

12

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

13


HAYATI SEPTEMBER 2013

FAITH African Muslims in America Warning Against VIP Hajj Child NOT Bride

FEATURE Aisha Bala (Behind Falke by Aisha) Miss Muslimah Worlld

CHARITY 10 Steps To Help Change The World

IN EVERY ISSUE

FASHION Jewelry’s African Origin Falke by Aisha Looks Accessories Of The Month African Prints in Fashion Today Quick Shoe Fix

BEAUTY Fall Beauty Looks

Editor’s Letter Editor’s Top 10 Picks Hayati Stories Insta-Hayati Hot Spots Credits

LIVING Training Your Staff Recipes

OScar de la renta, Gold-plated leaf necklace, $690


BEAUTY

HAYATI

EASY

TIPS TO

A/W13 LOOKS

Salam Alikom Sisters. The weather is changing and so are the trends. A/W13 is about makeup that tells a story. It’s less made up and more made down. The makeup should be lived in and breathing. Everything is upside down and juxtaposed. Hard collides with soft. The past meets the future. Grunge becomes glamor. Androgynous yet angelic. Take it all or just elements and have fun with your features. Lets begin...

Makeup & Words: Holly Knoyle-Hughes Photography & Retouching: Hannah Rajah Model: Sigourney Stanley

Spiritual-eyes Blow out beauty

16

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Descended into an ethereal wistful mood. Sombre and soulful. Ghostly smoke. The pallet consists of cold colours; steel, cement, slate, lead, aluminium all against alabster skin.

ADVERTIZE with


BEAUTY

BEAUTY

HAYATI

HAYATI

Makeup & Words: Holly Knoyle-Hughes Photography & Retouching: Hannah Rajah Model: Sigourney Stanley

Makeup & Words: Holly Knoyle-Hughes Photography & Retouching: Hannah Rajah Model: Sigourney Stanley

Au-Current Red lips

18

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Undone but well done. Less commercial more artistic. A rich new mood with a red statement. Stamped on and punchy. There is a fantasy about these prune-like tones. Smothered in gloss. Fierce and sexy. It’s gothic in it’s truest most poetic sense.

Reb-Elle The black eye Be it in the form of a liner or eyeshadow. Hollow and destroyed. Etched and unfinished. Black meets charcoal, meets midnight blue, meets burgundy, meet emerald. Nods back to punk in spirit and points to the future with texture. A tougher feel to makeup.

HAYATIONLINE.COM

19


BEAUTY

HAYATI

Perspex-tive

Makeup & Words: Holly Knoyle-Hughes Photography & Retouching: Hannah Rajah Model: Sigourney Stanley

BARE SKIN Skin. A new way of the monochromatic effect but not monotone. Chalky, matt, balmy wax, wet look and satin... all happening on the face at one time. The texture of the skin tells a certain story, the face is not just a canvas for colour, but more a play ground for light. The face always has dimensions and great care is taken to bring them out. HAYATIONLINE.COM

21


MALAWI BOTSWANA ZAMBIA EGYPT KENYA RWANDA CONGO

T O H T O SP MOUNT MULANJE

MALAWI A

t around 3,000 meters, the Mulanje Massif is the highest mountain in central Africa. It’s split in two by the Fort Lister Gap, a broad pass eroded by the Phalombe and Sombani rivers.

The mountain is distinguished by giant basins of rock and narrow gullies cut by fast-flowing streams. A strenuous trek leads to magnificent viewpoints. En route, expect to encounter monkeys, hares, voles and a carpet of enchanting wildflowers after the rain. Large numbers of butterflies are another feature. More info at www.summitpost.org

HAYATIONLINE.COM

23


HOT SPOT

NXAI PAN

T

he Baines Baobabs that sit close to the entrance of Botswana’s Nxai Pan National Park take their name from a series of watercolors by Victorian explorer and artist Thomas Baines. Their fruit apparently tastes a little like sherbet. The Nxai Pan park is great for viewing the vast, salt-rich pans that characterize the Kalahari and is also known for lion, leopard and cheetah and unusually large herds of giraffe. More info at www.expertafrica.com

SOUTHERN CROSS

T

his iconic formation in the night sky is best seen from the Southern Hemisphere, and few spots offer better vantage points than on an open-air safari in Luangwa, Zambia.

The constellation has appeared in various cultures in various ways, not least with a reference in the Australian national anthem. More info at www.normancarrsafaris.com

EGYPT

A

cruise down the Egyptian Nile, ideally on a romantic felucca rather than a crowded tourist boat, reveals relics of one of the world’s most ancient civilisations. The highpoint is the Valley of the Kings, with its monumental statues, and the magnificent Kom Ombo Temple, north of Aswan on the east bank. More info at www.gotoegypt.org

24

HAYATIONLINE.COM

R O S E L L E D U B A I - D O H A


R O S E L L E D U B A I - D O H A


HOT SPOT

LAKE NAKURU

RWANDA

C L

ake Nakuru National Park is home to one million resident flamingos, providing one of Kenya’s most unforgettable sights.

This lake has become famous for the greatest bird spectacle in the world, with swathes of vibrant pink filling the alkaline lake and the huge sky. More info at www.kws.org

anoeing safaris in the Lower Zambezi offer sightings of hippos, elephants and other animals drinking from the rivers and tributaries around camp. Sports fishermen and women can also be accommodated at various of the camps and lodges on the banks of the river. More info at www.zambiatourism.com

NYIRAGONGO

A

whopping two kilometers wide and usually containing a lava lake, Nyiragongo Volcano is one of Africa’s most active volcanoes, with an eruption in 2002 displacing half a million people.

ore info at www.volcanolive.com 28

HAYATIONLINE.COM


HAYATI

FAITH

AFRICAN MUSLIMS

IN AMERICA By Yusra Owais (AMATULLAH) - SUHAIB WEBB

T

he legacy of African Muslims in America, a deep and rich history, has been left unmentioned in the history books and forgotten by historians. For 400 years, Muslims from Senegal, Nigeria, Ivory Coast and Mali among other nations were taken from their homelands and brought to the United States, the Caribbean and South America as slaves. These slaves, however, were not ordinary; they were scholars, warriors, princes and teachers. They were distinguished by their literacy, education, manners and dignity. Umar radi Allahu `anhu (may Allah be pleased with him) said after the Muslims conquered Jerusalem, “we are a people who Allah has honored with Islam.” These Muslims carried with them the honor of Islam, and they continued to practice their religion as not only racial but religious minorities.

Although these Muslims were not Arab, they learned Arabic at a young age and Arabic became the language of their education and their business. When European travelers would visit these nations, they would be in awe at how educated the citizens were and how organized their country was. They noted their women scholars, their level of education and peaceful environment living with non-Muslims. Baron Roger, a governor of Senegal, said in 1828, “there are villages in which we find more Negroes who can read and write the Arabic, which for them is a dead and scholarly language that we would find peasants in our French countryside who can read and write French!”1 In fact, when these slaves were brought to the United States, the slave owners could not believe that they were African!

It is reported that 30% of slaves may have been Muslim. They were those slaves who organized and participated in the only successful slave rebellion. They were those slaves who wrote out the whole Qur’an, wrote their own biographies and who had biographies written about them. These were our Muslim brothers and sisters, whose status was raised because they carried with them the character of a true believer.

As Muslims in the West, we can learn many great lessons from our forgotten brethren. Their stories ignite within us a love for them and a bond to them that the believers have for one another. There are elaborate and detailed explanations as to why Muslims were taken as slaves, such as war between tribes, and their conditions in Africa before their lives as slaves. However since these topics are beyond the scope of this article, we will post resources at the end for our readers to continue learning this history. This article will cover the stories of a few select slaves in honor of Black History Month and as a reminder to us, hundreds of years later, to not forget our past and the legacy of the African Muslims in the United States, the Caribbean and South America.

While today’s Muslims are seen as “un-American,” these African Muslims brought Islam to America as the second monotheistic religion after Christianity. They were a religious minority in a harsh environment. Some accepted Christianity out of fear while practicing Islam secretly, but many did not give up their religion under any circumstance. Some returned to their homes, while others remained in the United These biographies have been summarized from the States until they died—taking their legacy with them. book, “African Muslims in Antebellum America.” Their story begins in West and Central Africa, hailing from nations that boasted Qur’an schools in nearly every city, wealth and a strong Islamic community. 32

HAYATIONLINE.COM

(continued on page 31)


HAYATI

FAITH He eventually converted to Christianity because of the hostile environment, although historians note that he never gave up Islam. Ibrahim eventually married and had children. Ibrahim came close to freedom when he met a man that knew his father in Gambia. In 1807, John Coates Cox recognized Ibrahim when he was buying vegetables from him. Cox happened to have been in Timbo while Ibrahim’s father was ruling. He became ill during his journey and Ibrahim’s father nurtured him back to health. After Cox recognized Ibrahim, he tried to arrange for his purchase and freedom but Ibrahim’s owner refused to

“The Prince among Slaves”: Ibrahim sell him. Abd ar-Rahman After this encounter, word traveled of Ibrahim’s Ibrahim Abd ar-Rahman is well-known today from story and he became somewhat of a celebrity. He the documentary and book titled, “Prince among was taken around the country in “Moorish” costume, Slaves.” Even during his lifetime, he was a celebrity giving interviews and receiving personal as well as in the United States. He was born around 1762 in public invitations to visit with people. Although these Timbo, what is now present day Guinea. He was a appearances gave Ibrahim a chance to tell his story, 6’2 strong man who came from an honorable tribe. he endured the ignorance of the people who described His father was a famous military leader, and Abd him as a barbarian. These public appearances helped ar-Rahman followed in his footsteps by training as a Ibrahim gain freedom for him and his wife. Through warrior and becoming a colonel in his twenties. He the monetary funds he raised, he and his wife left for was also trained in the Islamic sciences, studying in Africa after 40 years in slavery. famous centers of Islamic knowledge like Timbuktu. On February 7th, 1892, at the age of 65, Ibrahim and While returning from one of his military expeditions, his wife left for their long journey back to Africa. Ibrahim and his men were ambushed and captured by It is reported that he immediately reverted to Islam an enemy tribe. His captors sold him to the British when he stepped foot on African soil. He died in his who then took him on a long journey from Africa hometown of Timbo on July 6th, 1829. to New Orleans. It was a grueling journey that took about 6 months, ending in 1788. “African Nobleman”: Job Ben Solomon When Ibrahim was sold, he was given the name “Thomas Foster” by his purchaser. Ibrahim, however, The story of Job Ben Solomon is a fascinating and did not give into this name easily. He told his purchaser inspiring one. He was born as Ayyub ibn Sulayman through his translator that he was a prince. ibn Ibrahim around 1702 in present day Senegal. He hailed from a family of religious scholars, and Naturally, his transition from a military leader to followed in these footsteps by studying under his a slave was a difficult one. After a few weeks as a father. At the young age of 15, he was co-Imam with slave, Ibrahim ran away but eventually returned his father and married soon after. While on a trading after realizing he had no plan or people to help him. expedition, Job was captured in enemy territory by Ibrahim was known to his masters and fellow slaves as someone of good character. They described him as someone who was never intoxicated, mean or lazy2. (continued on page 31) 34

HAYATIONLINE.COM

FALKE BY AISHA ABUJA - LAGOS - KADUNA


HAYATI

FAITH

men who shaved his head (the sign of a prisoner of war) and sold him to the British. He was then taken and bought to work on the tobacco fields of Maryland. He was from those Muslim slaves who did not convert; rather he openly worshiped Allah by praying in public and adhering to the Islamic dietary guidelines. Like Ibrahim, Job ran away from his plantation only to be captured and put in jail. He was returned to his master shortly afterward.

he was a teenager. Due to his good behavior, he was freed after finishing the task of laying the bricks for his master’s home in Maryland. He eventually bought his own home in Georgetown and was known to the people of his town for praying in the streets and sobriety.

Job sent a letter to his father about his condition and his sadness that found its way into the hands of a British man who was a philanthropist. This man, James Oglethorpe, helped free Job. He was a very lucky person, having only spent three years as a slave. In 1733, Job began his journey back to Africa by first going to England.

In December of 1807, S’Quash, as he was called, was brought to South Carolina. He was a huge man who had to be hog-tied to keep restrained. He was known to be an excellent horseman and literate in Arabic. Historians point to his marriage to a Muslim slave from Sudan to show that he was also a Muslim.

While on his journey to England, he wrote the Qur’an from memory. One of the men who were traveling with him was inspired by his religious devotion and overall friendly countenance with others on the ship so he taught him English. In less than three weeks, Job was already able to write single syllables.3

S’Quash

“Ball’s Muslim”

This man, whose name is unknown, is the only man who detailed his horrible journey from Africa to America to an interviewer, Charles Ball, hence why historians refer to him as “Ball’s Muslim.” One of his famous quotes about the “ugly” appearance of his white captors was referenced to him as “the Upon reaching England, Job spent more than a year man who prayed five times a day.” He narrated a 19 there and was treated with great respect and was page narrative to Ball, who was moved by his deep beloved by many; receiving gifts and donations for religiosity. his journey back to Africa. While in England, Job left his mark by writing the Qur’an three times from Historians say that this man was probably a Tuareg memory, and is to have reported to have helped with Muslim from Mali, who ended up as a slave by other the famous George Sale translation of the Qur’an. He Muslim enemies. even called people to Islam by refuting their claims of Jesus’ divinity. He was also elected to the Spalding He spoke of the terrible sights he saw while on the Gentlemen’s Society, which may have put him in the slave ship, such as witnessing newborn babies being company of Sir Isaac Newton and Alexander Pope.4 thrown overboard and then their mothers leaping Job finally returned to Africa on July 4th 1734. It took after them, and the death of many caused by the hot until February 1735 for him to return home, because temperature. He went on to narrate how scarce the of a tribal war taking place near his hometown. His food was and by the time he landed in South Carolina father had passed by that time, and his first wife had around 1807, he was unable to stand or straighten his re-married. Job still received a grand welcome home limbs for a week. party. He died in 1773. Abu Bakr as- Siddeeq Yarrow Mamout Abu Bakr was born in the famous Islamic center of His narrative has reached us through the conversations Timbuktu in 1794 to a rich and high level Mandingo a painter had with him while painting his portrait. His family. He was a student until he was captured as a date of birth, death or life in Africa is not known, but prisoner of war in present day Ghana around 1807. we know from his slave master’s wife that he was He was of the many Muslims forced into a baptism a well-mannered man and spent nearly a century in in Jamaica. America. She mentions that she bought him while

36

HAYATIONLINE.COM


HAYATI

FAITH

In 1833, an abolitionist Richard Robert Madden was given the role of overseeing the new freed slaves of Jamaica, and he gave special attention to the Muslims because he had experience with the Arabic language. Madden noted that Abu Bakr was one of the literate slaves who wrote his own biography in Arabic, where he mentioned, “the faith of our families is the faith of Islam.� Shortly afterward, Abu Bakr was asked by an explorer to lead him on an expedition from Morocco to Timbuktu. He was then able to return to his homeland and to his family. These few and short biographies only offer a glimpse into the deep and poignant history of the African Muslim slaves, and their journey from freedom to slavery and sometimes back to freedom. We hope that with this extremely brief introduction to this profound topic that you are able to appreciate the legacy of these Muslims and that you continue in learning about them and their heritage.

Some resources on this topic: 3. Deeper Roots: Muslims in the Americas and the Caribbean from before Columbus to the Present by Abdullah Hakim Quick 4. Muslims in American History: A Forgotten Legacy by Jerald F. Dirks 5. Black Crescent: The Experience and Legacy of African Muslims in the Americas by Michael A. Gomez 6. Slave Rebellion in Brazil: The Muslim Uprising of 1835 in Bahia by Jose Reis. 7. Muslims in America: Seven Centuries of History (1312-1998) by Amir Nashid Ali Muhammad

African Muslims in Antebellum America by Allan D. Austin

Servants of Allah: African Muslims Enslaved in the Americas by Sylviane A. Diouf

HAYATIONLINE.COM

39


ADVERTIZE with


CHARITY

CHARITY

HAYATI

HAYATI

10 Steps to help change The World By: Saud Inam - Suahib Webb

W

e all see the depressing stories on TV, in magazines, and in the newspapers filled with heart breaking images and stories from Syria, Palestine and even here in the US with unemployment, civil rights abuses, government inefficiency, corruption and other issues. We also see Islamophobes incessantly bashing Islam and Muslims, and the hungry and oppressed harshly mistreated; yet so many of us feel helpless and powerless. But the fact is we’re not. On the contrary, we make the conscious decision in our heads to either feel helpless or empower ourselves. That said, before we try to change the world for the better it is incumbent that we empower and change ourselves from within.

Muhammad SAW. When he received the message of Islam, he began with those closest to him—his family and close friends. Only after he invited them to Islam did he begin telling the people of his tribe, people in other cities, and eventually the world. The wisdom in this approach is to ensure the purity of your activism and actions for the sake of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He). Ask yourself: are you serving the community to show off or boost your ego, or are you truly doing it for the sake of Allah? That said, you must first change yourself; then your family; then your close friends; then your neighbors; then your neighborhood; then your city; then your nation… and then the world. 2. Find a Cause

“…Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a The biggest mistake that most activists make is that people until they change what is in themselves…” they volunteer for whatever they are asked to join. Volunteering is great, but can often lead to burn out (Qur’an, 13:11) and feeling the lack of long-term impact on the cause With that, I will provide my step-by-step process to you’re working for. I highly suggest, from my own experience, to choose causes you are passionate about self-empowerment and ultimately change. and stick to them. 1. Change Yourself, then Others 3. Find an Organization/Institution Many people believe they can change the world, but to Offer your Services To forget that changing the world is not simply changing the external. It is also changing yourself. You may This one is extremely important. Once you find a have strengths and weaknesses you need to work on, cause you are passionate about, volunteer your time, but you cannot advocate for world peace, justice, effort, energy and skill set to an organization or kindness, or helping others, when you have not institution that you can continue to grow and develop established those ideals in your own life or your own in. The institution can be Muslim or non-Muslim, and I would suggest finding one where you feel you are home. making an immediate impact and are not just another It would be hypocritical, for example, of a man who busy body (although sometimes it is good to do the secretly abuses his wife at home taking to the streets to busy work to keep humble). This way you build up advocate for women’s rights. What good do his deeds character, leadership skills, and organizational skills. do for him if he is not living up to them? Change would start with himself, then with his family, then If however there is no organization that fits your passion or cause, you can create one of your own! Be the community at large. the change you want to see in the world, right? You Internal change is the sunnah (way) of the Prophet may also express your passion or cause via your 46

HAYATIONLINE.COM

masjid or MSA. If you see a problem in the world and 8. Work with a Dedicated and have an idea of how to solve it, create an organization, Visionary Team project, or campaign. Be creative and think big! Make sure you have a team that you are on the same wavelength with. If you feel there is any lack of 4. Keep it Humble communication, organization, professionalism, or Far too many Muslim activists let their egos get the vision, then you efforts are likely to go to waste. Your best of them: making their own Facebook Fan Pages, time, effort, health, and energy are limited – use them Twitter accounts, and websites, and constantly show effectively. off their accomplishments and job titles. It is ok to celebrate success, but at the same time it is important That said, make sure you are working with people to ensure you keep your intentions and work for the who are just as motivated as you are to implement sake of Allah. Don’t expect to get a pat on the back change. This also means working with other people, every time you do something. Work for the sake of organizations, and institutions that have the same Allah can often go unacknowledged. No one knows passion and zeal as you for the cause you’ve chosen. but you and Allah (swt), but He will reward you for The impact of your work will be far better and greater your service and for your humility. It is a constant than you may have initially imagined. struggle to keep your ego in check, but it is important 9. Succession Planning to keep your intentions pure. 5. Keep Up a Spiritual Routine

When it comes to activism, we may get so consumed by our work that we forget that we’re only one person. Imagine for a minute that you could multiply your efforts, and your reward from Allah (swt), by training others to do what you do. Inspire a new generation of activists and create an organization that benefits people for years to come. We cannot forget the positive impact that succession planning can have in our organizations.

The biggest mistake that Muslim activists make is neglecting their spirituality while they serve others. Keep up a routine of reading the Qur’an in the morning, reading your prayers on time, and that you are working to improve the quality of your worship. Learn Arabic, read tafsir (exegesis) consistently, do whatever it is to ensure you are spiritually refreshed day by day and do not lose your spirituality while 10. Think Globally, Act Locally serving others.

We all want to save the world, but we need to realize that we must fix our own communities first. If we can do that, then we can make a bigger impact in the world. For example, if you organize a campaign to educate people in your community about how to vote, how to lobby, and how to write to your local congressperson, 6. Manage Your Time then you’re making a huge difference on a national Muslim activists, who initially get involved in level as well! activism, often become consumed by their activism to the extent that they neglect their friends, family, Build and strengthen your community, build and health. It is important to manage and balance relationships with your local faith groups, high your time well. Create a daily schedule and keep a schools, middle schools, local government officials, calendar to keep yourself on track and in-check. In etc. and work with them to improve society at a your schedule, allot time to workout, hang out with local level. Our society today presents us with many challenges, but do not be disheartened. Take this friends and family, and have fun. test as a challenge upon yourself as a responsible community member and as a Muslim responsible 7. Stay Organized to Allah (swt). Do what you can with the resources Keep your work place, bedroom, and home organized Allah (swt) has blessed you with. Start from the inside and clean. This will help you avoid unneeded stress and work your way out towards progress. May Allah (swt) help us all in our efforts. Ameen. and anxiety. The Prophet SAW) used to serve others during the day, and serve His Lord at night, thereby rejuvenating his spirituality. We must do the same in our own lives as we serve others.

HAYATIONLINE.COM

47


WWW.ARMINE.COM.TR


FEATURE

FEATURE

HAYATI

HAYATI

BEHIND falke by aisha aisha bala With a full blown career in fashion design and business that is growing rapidly each day, Aisha took the time to talk to us about how she got started, the ins and outs of the fashion industry and her plans for the future. Aisha has come a long way from the little girl in Kano, Nigeria but she’ll never compromise who she is.

By: Fatima Togbe On September 9th this year, Aisha Bala released her bridal collection. Now a full time fashion designer and business woman, she spends most of her days designing, taking business courses to build herself up, interacting with her clients and overseeing her numerous tailors. Even though Aisha has assistants and shop keepers to help alleviate her stress, she loves being in the midst of her shop and sealing the final touches on everything with the ‘Falke by Aisha’ name on it. Officially founded in 2010, Falke by Aisha took off as a brand unlike others. Aisha had been working from home before the 2010, however she feels like the true commencement date of her brand is the day she first opened her shop. I was very eager to find out what the response was from customers, existing and new, and I was a bit surprised to find out that she had a hard time getting people to trust her enough to give her their fabrics to sew. Well I should to take to time to admit that I am guilty of doing the same. When I meet a new tailor or go to a new shop, I am very weary to give them any of my expensive fabrics. In fact, I make it a point to give them relatively cheap fabric as a trial before anything else goes. Styled by Falke by Aisha Makeup: Jide St. Ola Photography: Big H Studios Model: Nabila Agwai

50

HAYATIONLINE.COM

It took Aisha years to build that trust and relationship between her brand, Falke by Aisha, and her clientele. Laughing, Aisha recalls the day her friend Asmau trusted her enough to let her design her wedding dress.

“I was very excited and went over and beyond to make her dress a success” she says reminiscing. Naturally, I had to ask, has she ever messed up someone’s dress or had a bad encounter with a customer and voila, she began to spill the beans. You should hear the tales of tailors gone wild, Cruella type customers or unreliable staff. One of my favourite stories was the one of a bride in Bauchi, Nigeria. She ordered her wedding and other outfits from Falke by Aisha and they were meant to be delivered to her the day before the event. The staff who Aisha sent decided to go on a detour and refuse to answer the 100s of call she made to him once she had realized he never arrived to the bride’s house. The bride herself was hysteric, her mother and other family friends repeatedly called Aisha shouting and suggesting she had never sent the dress to start with. As you can imagine, it sounds like an utter nightmare. Finally, the staff arrived the morning of the wedding a unfortunately the bride was 2 hours late to her own wedding. Even though this is not an everyday occurrence, it goes a long way to show that even the best designer go through stressful ordeals. “Although my work gets very stressful, I love every minute of it” Aisha tells me. Raised in Kano, Nigeria, Aisha always knew she wanted a career in fashion. Whether it was designing, managing or styling, she has always had a passion for fashion. During her

HAYATIONLINE.COM

51


FEATURE

FEATURE

HAYATI

school days, she was the fashionista in the bunch. She was constantly making sketch and designing clothes for herself. Aisha’s personal style can be summarized in two words, comfortably stylish. Because her personal style is guided by her deep faith in Islam, her clothes are mostly loose fitting and far from skin tight. She mostly wears abayas, but do not be fooled, they are not your average all black grandmother abayas. Instead they are very colourful.

HAYATI

life. They make clothes for every personality, mood and occasion. They have everything from wedding dressed, to everyday outfits.

“I want to be the Dangote of clothing” she blurted out as serious as can be. Aisha would like to be in everyone’s home she told me. “Whether is just a scarf, a shawl, a pair of pants or a skirt, I want my brand to be a part of every Muslimah’s life”. With her husband by her side and as her mentor and her I asked Aisha if Falke by Aisha is a reflection of passionate drive, I am sure that Aisha will take Falke herself and she amusingly said no. This is not so say by Aisha to its full potential, insha’Allah. that there are no traces of Aisha’s styles and touches on the brand. The Bimpe dresses, abayas and plus size This brand is absolutely lovely and I encourage styles are very much Aisha’s style, but everything you all to like them on Facebook, follow them on else is straight from her imagination. Falke by Aisha Instagram and most of all patronize them. is that brand that will be with you throughout your 52

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Styled by Falke by Aisha Makeup: Jide St. Ola Photography: Big H Studios Model: Maryam Muhammed HAYATIONLINE.COM

53


FEATURE

HAYATI

ADVERTIZE with Styled by Falke by Aisha Makeup: Jide St. Ola Photography: Big H Studios Model: Sadiya Muhammed 54

HAYATIONLINE.COM


HAYATI

FAITH

HAYATI

FAITH

VIP HAJ By Habib Toumi Bureau Chief

M

anama: A Kuwaiti religious leader has warned against VIP pilgrimage offers, saying they were against the spirit of Islam.

“This new invention of VIP Haj [pilgrimage] packages by some Haj operators is unacceptable,” Mohammad Al Tabtabai, the former dean of the Islamic Studies College, said. “This type of Haj is counter to the spirit of Islam and I urge all Muslims to boycott it. They should join operators who offer the performance of the Haj rituals without excess or overindulgence,” he said in remarks published by local daily Al Kuwaitiya on Monday. Haj operators have recently attempted to lure wealthy people planning to perform Haj by offering them special treatment that spares them all trouble and gives them a sense of comfort at all times. Under the package, pilgrims are flown in first class and given accommodation at world-renowned hotels while their transport throughout the pilgrimage is provided in a private car. However, for many people, such privileges do not help Muslims cement their relations with fellow Muslims and defeat the spirit of togetherness promoted by the Haj pilgrimage, the fifth pillar of Islam. “Unfortunately, these operators are driven by a wish to make huge profits and not by the genuine Islamic value of being close to other Muslims to help them perform Haj based on its spirit of togetherness,” Al Tabtabai said. “We have noted that several operators are competing with one another to offer better accommodation, more comfortable cars and greater quantity of varied food. That is not the spirit of Haj that Muslims must honour,” he said. The six-day Haj season is in mid-October, but several operators have publicised their offers and packages to enlist those planning to go on pilgrimage. Islam requires all physically fit and financially able Muslims to perform Haj at least once in their lives. A Haj quota was introduced in 1987 following an agreement by all member countries of the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation (OIC) to limit the number of pilgrims allowed by each country to 0.1 per cent of its population. Several countries have requested an increase in their quotas, but Riyadh turned down the requests, saying that construction work in Makkah had put heavy pressure on the possibility of accommodating more pilgrims. 56

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

57


FALKE BY AISHA ABUJA - LAGOS - KADUNA

FALKE BY AISHA ABUJA - LAGOS - KADUNA


BEAUTY

BEAUTY

HAYATI

HAYATI the pageant three years ago “to show that there are alternative role models for Muslim women,” she told AFP. “It’s about more than Miss World,” she said. “Muslim women are increasingly working in the entertainment industry in a sexually explicit way, and they become role models, which is a concern.” On the World Muslimah Facebook page, the organization’s goal is stated as “to strengthen Muslim women self development & character to become Sholehah, Smart & Stylish.” The Guardian reported 500 or more contestants initially competed during a round of online questions, but 20 finalists from six countries – Bangladesh, Brunei, Iran, Malaysia, Indonesia and Nigeria – competed as finalists on Wednesday. Leading up to the final pageant, contestants underwent three days of “spiritual training,” took walks before dawn and studied the Quran together, BBC reported. www.facebook.com/ WorldMuslimahFoundation

MISS MUSLIMAH WORLD Obabiyi Aishah Ajibola, a contestant from Nigeria, reacts after being named World Muslimah 2013 at the 3rd World Muslimah annual award competition in Jakarta September 18, 2013.

O

babiyi Aishah Ajibola of Nigeria won the title of 2013 Miss World Muslimah, an Islamic beauty pageant, on Wednesday in Jakarta, Indonesia.

as a response to the Miss World pageant, this year to be held Saturday, Sept. 28. More than 130 contestants from all over the world will compete at the Bali Nusa Dua Convention Center in Indonesia for Miss World, which is run by Julia Morley.

Ajibola, 21, fell to her knees and thanked “almighty Allah” as she was crowned the winner and received The Miss World Muslimah competition is much her prizes of 25 million rupiah ($2,189.25) and trips different, with contestants judged on looks as well to Mecca and India. as ability to recite from the Quran, relationship with Islam, and when they began wearing their hijabs, a “We’re just trying to show the world that Islam is requirement in the pageant. beautiful,” she told Agence France-Presse. Eka Shanti, a former television news broadcaster who The contest, according to BBC, was launched in 2010 lost her job for refusing to remove her hijab, launched

60

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

61


FASHION

FASHION

HAYATI

1. Anna-Karin Karlsso, Rose et la Mer cat eye acetate sunglasses, $665; 2. Alexander McQueen, Embellished leather gloves, $1,040; 3. Ashley Pittman,Shaba set of nine horn and gold-tone bangles, $595; 4. Oscar de la Renta, Gold-plated oak leaf clip earrings, $195; 5. Roberto Cavalli, Snake Flowers ruthenium-plated Swarovski crystal clip ear cuffs, $630; 6. HervĂŠ Van der Straeten, Hammered gold-plated bib necklace, $2,540

HAYATI

1.

2.

4.

5.

Sophia Webster Jessica printed leather and vinyl pumps $395

Nicholas Kirkwood Lace-covered suede sandals $1,395

6. Christian Louboutin Cate chain-trimmed leather riding boots $1,295

64

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Image credit: Net-a-porter.com

Image credit: Net-a-porter.com

3.

Valentino Studded leather sandals $1,095

HAYATIONLINE.COM

65


FASHION

FASHION

HAYATI

HAYATI

jewellery’s

African Origin By: Rumki Chowdhury

B

ig, bold, colorful a n d beautiful is what describes Africaninspired statement jewelry, particularly when it comes to necklaces. While browsing through the beautiful jewelry in shops, we often flow with the latest trends and neglect the fact that each piece of jewelry has a history, a background, a source of inspiration: BIB necklaces, for example! After in-depth analysis and research, I have come to the conclusion that the inspiration of BIB necklaces… these lovely works of art dangling from around our necks, has derived from ancient African and Egyptian history. This fad has spread like wildfire from its roots to every continent in the world. One should feel like royalty wearing these statement necklaces, understanding that the Ancient African and Egyptian royalty wore BIB necklaces. Of course, back then it was probably called something else. Anyway, the Egyptians had a lot of precious metals 66

HAYATIONLINE.COM

(alabaster, amethyst, beryl, breccias, feldspar, garnet, lapis, quartz, and turquoise) and gold mining sources around as far as 3000 BCE. However, the first signs of jewelry were found in African countries such as Kenya. Materials included beads, shells (snail, ostrich egg), bones, teeth, berries, and copper.

Figure of an Egyptian Queen wearing a BIB necklace; big in today’s fashion and style trends

Furthermore, Egyptians were well-established in their trade, creating a combination of gold jewelry, detailed with colored glass and precious gems. Women wore elaborate gold and silver jewelry to ceremonies. Today, we are reliving the ancient history of jewelry, although not quite in its original craftsmanship, but with a modern twist. BIB necklaces represent ancient royalty and festivities, and can be worn in place of collars or as an upgrade to simple attire. HAYATIONLINE.COM

67


FASHION

HAYATI

the designer’s love of this inspirational culture. The combination of colors and prints bring joy and happiness along with a sense of admiration of the people, culture, and artists behind these designs. African cultures have some of the oldest and greatest ways of designing textiles. Fabric is rarely imported into Africa. Most of the time, designers around the world are importing colorful and carefully designed textiles out of Africa. After all, when purchasing a high end brand, you’re really paying for the quality of the fabric first and foremost followed by the design and cutout of the piece. Another really significant part of Africa’s influence in today’s fashion industry is the African Turban. Today we see many fashionistas rocking the African turban and getting really creative with it. It is no longer considered merely a part of a specific culture. It has become an iconic symbol in the fashion industry. It’s the perfect accessory to pair with a summery outfit or for a walk on the beach. We see the African turbans paired with high waist pants with a sheer shirt or with a maxi dress for a more relaxed outfit.

African Prints in Fashion

African prints tend to be stereotyped with animal prints; however, this is not the case. African prints are a combination of colors and designs and more or less associated with busier wardrobe pieces.

Because African prints can get a little overwhelming, it is really important to keep in mind how busy your pieces are when styling an outfit. Fashionistas should pay extra attention to mixing and matching hen we think of African prints and African prints and colors. An outfit should be styled fashion, the first few images that come to emphasize the African print which means that to my thoughts involve a whole ton of mixing and matching more than one print can be very colors, prints, textures and designs; inspirational and distracting. So be sure to pick one piece like a shirt or motivational designs that are influenced by nature and pair of pants to reflect these prints and then use a solid the free spirit. colored item to finish the overall look. The African culture has greatly influenced and continues to influence the runway. From the 1967 Yves The fashion industry has truly become a melting pot of Saint Laurent “African” collection to today’s Michael cultures and societies. Designers are traveling across Kors and Burberry speaking of African influences the world to reach out to various cultures in search of in their designs. The designs portray a high level their next inspiration. of sophistication because the designs combine the African textiles along with the modern day stitching and European prints. The 1967 Yves Saint Laurent collection included dresses made from raffia, shells, and wooden beads. It was an instant hit and reflected

W

R O S E L L E D U B A I - D O H A

HAYATIONLINE.COM

69


HAYATI

FAITH

HAYATI

SAY NO TO CHILD BRIDES

S

imilar to the event that occured in Nigeria not to long ago, where the appropriate agae for a gril to be married was put into question, An 8 year old Yemeni girl has just died from a ruptured uterus after being married off by her father.

Rajeh Badi, an aide to Prime Minister Mohammed Salem Basindwa, said on Friday:"The government is dealing seriously with this issue and it will investigate it and those responsible will be brought to justice." He had earlier said that the crime had not been confirmed, and that police had not reported such an incident.

Yemeni authorities say they are investigating the reported death of an eight-year-old girl from internal bleeding on the first night of her marriage, in a case Ahmed al-Quraishi, chairman of child rights' that has rekindled international outrage over child organisation Siyaj told the AFP news agency that brides. residents from the girl's home province of Hajjah said she and her family disappeared shortly after the Yemeni rights campaigner Arwa Othman said earlier incident. this week that the girl, identified as Rawan, died after she was married to a man five times her age who Some people in the area said the girl was married to then had intercourse with her, rupturing her uterus. the man who took her to a hotel, and that she died Othman said no action has been taken against the on the wedding night from bleeding caused by sexual intercourse. However, a security official in the area man. 70

HAYATIONLINE.COM

FAITH

told activists investigating the case that the girl and of their age must give their consent before they can be her father were being held by police, without giving married. Human Rights Watch previously urged Yemen's any details, Quraishi said. government to ban marriages of girls under the age of 18.

EU statement

It said nearly 14 percent of Yemeni girls were married European Union foreign policy chief Catherine before the age of 15 and 52 percent before the age of Ashton urged Yemen's authorities to prosecute all 18. HRW said many Yemeni child brides-to-be are those responsible for the reported crime without kept from school when they reach puberty. delay. In a statement, she said the Arabian Peninsula _________________________ country should reinstate a law setting a minimum age for marriage. This is a serious topic that is not getting enough Many poor families in Yemen marry off young attention. Millions of young girls are married daughters to save on the costs of bringing up a child prematurely each year and the numbers are not and earn extra money from the dowry given to a girl. decreasing fast enough. The world needs to come According to the United Nations around half of together to educate poor parents that educating their Yemen's 24 million people lack sufficient food and daughters and giving them a chance in life is far more rewarding in the long run and worth more than the access to safe water. temporary gratification they get from dowry they Under international norms such as the Universal receive for their daughter. Declaration of Human Rights, every person regardless HAYATIONLINE.COM

71


LIVING

LIVING

HAYATI

HAYATI

how to

train your domestic help By: Lisa Tong

A

s an aside, I’ve been getting many questions about “How I Trained My Domestic Helper”. I do mention that I (or other parties, like my mother and mother-in-law) helped in training her. It’s nothing like a formal program, but it is an exhaustive and extensive in-house, customized, 24-hour running program that is still going on. I’ll outline a few areas that we focus on and how we managed to “train” her. First, I”ll define “train”. “Train” to me simply means teaching her the ins and outs of our family lifestyle and how we live. Of course, it’s a two-way street, and sometimes I do give her autonomy to cook her favourite foods or decide how to set her cleaning schedule, but keep in mind that this type of trust is earned and not explicitly implied from the beginning of employment. This is why I do sit down with my domestic helper and go through rules, because that is part of the training. Let me explain:

72

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Rules RULES. This is the first thing I will do with all of my helpers (the current one has been with me for 9 months and I am very happy with her). You have to set some ground rules because it is afterall your house. You actually have rules for your whole household, but because it’s become common sense, you don’t need to write it down. But for someone who comes from a different culture, background, upbringing with a different set of common sense, you need to lay it all out at the beginning. This includes appropriate time to come home, the definition of private property, usage of household equipment, monetary distribution (incentives of bonus), breach of contract, disciplinary actions for the children, scheduling – everything. Don’t leave a thing out. It’s better to loosen the reign later than to tighten it. (Continued on the next page) HAYATIONLINE.COM

75


LIVING

LIVING

HAYATI

Cooking Everyone has a particular way of cooking and a preference for what they eat. OK, maybe not everyone, but most people. I am particularly anal about what I eat and how it is cooked. In fact, I’d rather cook it myself because I enjoy cooking. However, due to time restraints, my helper cooks – but through months and months of training. My family literally stood beside her and for months on end, showedher how to make different soups and favourite dishes. Everything starts out as a demonstration and then a hands-on training, and then merely observation. You can imagine how long this will take because of the never-ending list of favourite foods. Some people have great cooks in their domestic helper – I applaud and congratulate you and will invite myself to join your for dinner every night. My DH – hmm, her cooking is weak (but it’s not the end of the world).

HAYATI

throw it out to eliminate any possibilities. Item Placement and Re-organization One of the easiest ways to train them in getting used to how you live is to have them re-organize the whole house. Literally. It’s a necessary and tedius chore, but it reaps great benefits in the long run. I got my DH to take out every piece of clothing from the cupboards and drawers and re-fold them. Even the underwear. You can do it with her and clean out your closet at the same time – it’s a very useful task. However, if they are the ones who are ironing and washing and putting away your clothes, than they should know where they go and not make it hide-and-seek for you when you’re rushing late for work. I HATE THAT. Apply this to other areas of your house – especially the kitchen. Over time, she’ll dominate the kitchen (even if you’re cooking). She’ll probably know better than you where your stuff is! Again, clean it all out, wipe down the cupboards and drawers and explain the items as you go along. You’d be surprised that they don’t know what the red liquid is (red vinegar) or that you can’t keep Nutella in the fridge or horseradish does go in the fridge. Again, they can’t remember everything at once, but you’ve set a basis for learning and reminder, reminder, reminder, reminder.

It’s funny because she also has her interpretation of foods. And she often forgets – which means we have to re-train pretty often. The Chinese like to eat ”Fried Tomatos with Eggs”. We’ve taught it to her numerous times, but because we haven’t eaten it for awhile, I suggested we eat that. She literally ended up frying 4 over easy eggs and surrounded them with tomatos. We all laughed. The real recipe calls for scrambled eggs. Needless to say, we still ate it and with a gentle Schedule reminder that this recipe is off-the-wall, she made it Some people can write down a schedule (hour by correctly the next time. hour if need be) for the DH. I recommend this for If your DH has poor memory. Get her to write it down. employers who aren’t home from the onset. Since I A pen and notebook will suffice and get her to write it was a stay-at-home mother when my DH arrived, I in her native tongue. Poor memory is not an excuse in didn’t need a written schedule, but I did have an idea getting things wrong. Imagine how your boss would of how her schedule would be. grill your ass if you repeatedly did things wrong that someone’s already taught you! Find a solution then. You have to set a time to wake-up. Just like you report to the office at a certain time, the same applies to the Another thing I’d like to add here is to train her to household. Mine wakes up at 6:00 AM everyday. My deal with medical issues in the house. Because my children wake up at 6:00 AM everyday. This is life husband is prone to gout, you have to be very specific in my house. I don’t have a set time for her to go to in what he can and can’t eat. This is why I plan the bed. On most days, I’m in bed before she is because I menu – every time. For people who have children sleep at 9:00 PM. As long as she gets her stuff done, who are allergic to food, I would completely take it doesn’t matter when she retires to her room. See, this precaution as well. Don’t keep anything in the I am completely results-oriented. This is why I shun house that they are allergic to (even Peanut Butter people who stay late at work for the sake of staying for yourself) because you are introducing RISK. The late. DH can’t remember everything like a mother does, so

74

HAYATIONLINE.COM

Set the expectations. Once you set expectations for what you expect to be done when, it makes life easier. Don’t surprise her – it’s not fair. When we go out, I will tell my DH when to expect us home and so on and so forth so she can plan her day accordingly.

Repeat, repeat, repeat. I also teach my DH how to discipline my children. Although no one is as harsh as I am, she will voice out when the children are beating up on each other or they have done something naughty.

Cleaning

Harmony

I have a few rules that are strict when it comes to cleaning. I don’t care how my bathroom is cleaned or how often the tub is scrubbed, but I do care how the children’s play area and toys are handled. Most DH training back in their home country will have them wiping everyday – so I would stay stick to it, unless you don’t want something to be cleaned everyday.

I think I touch on this point in all my DH articles. You’re trying to create a balance of living with a stranger in your house hold. This is NOT an easy task. In fact, you won’t achieve complete integration because you’ll always have this employer-employee relationship. I don’t know about you, but I can’t and won’t break this barrier. I did try to break this down with my first two DHs, but found that it made the working relationship difficult. I don’t make and keep friends that easily – even if they are living with me. But I do have harmony with my DH. We have a very, very good understanding with each other and she literally stays out of my way and merely does her job. We don’t discuss personal things very deeply and there is mutual respect for each other’s privacy. As long as she performs her duties, I’m cool with it.

Tell her how to clean if need be. This applies mainly to electronics. This is where I get my husband involved. He values his precious LCD television – so I get him to explain to our helper how to clean it. No water, no windex – just dry wipe. And he hovers over her as she does it (HAHAHA). But yes, get your other family members involved in their area of expertise – this is really a team effort.

And as time goes on – repeat, repeat, repeat. I feel Finding the right DH takes time. They don’t come like a broken record player, but it’s worth it because it pre-trained, even if they have been working for many makes my life much easier in the long run. years in HK. That’s because they don’t come pretrained for your household. Give praise where praise Children is due and sometimes, if my helper does something wrong, I will make her fix it rather than scold or The most important part of her job is to ensure the berate her. Use the bonus system wisely and when saftey and well-being of the children. As a start, necessary, but also consider giving bonus in the form make sure you have all their IDs, vaccinations, doctor of donations to her or buying her things she needs contacts, and hospital contacts in a place (and up-to- rather than monetary (although that is what they date) where she can find them and use them. This want). I try not to make money the end all or be all of should be a document that is part of the rules. life for them and give her room to grow – as a person. Then you give her the run down on your kids. Again, this training takes lots of time and patience, but this person is helping out tremendously. I still don’t let my helper bathe the kids or put them to sleep or feed them, but this is my anal-me-control-freak-mother who resists this. I know this is not the case for most helpers, but my helper is cool with it and respects my wishes in this matter and will simply assist to clothe them and prepare the bath. I love how she doesn’t interfere with our bonding. You have to be firm and consistent for them to have set expectations.

That pretty much sums up what I did to train her. It’s very extensive and it’s never-ending. Like I said, I know I’m a control freak, but I think my helper knows that too! Some how, through this learning, we’ve come to a silent understanding of each other and the rest of the family to live in harmony and peace. My husband says that I expect too much of my employees (and co-workers), but I tend to disagree. This is who I am and although I don’t expect perfection, I do expect progress and growth – even in myself.

HAYATIONLINE.COM

75


LIVING

LIVING

HAYATI

HAYATI

Hayati Recipes A few cool DIY recipes collections for you to try at home. Plus a sweet cooling dessert to finish your meal off.

sweet & nutty moroccan couscous ingredients: 2 cups vegetable broth 5 tablespoons unsalted butter 1/3 cup chopped dates 1/3 cup chopped dried apricots 1/3 cup golden raisins 2 cups dry couscous 3 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted Pour the vegetable broth into a large saucepan, and bring to a boil. Add the butter, apricots, dates and raisins. Boil for 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from the heat, and stir in the couscous. Cover, and let stand for 5 minutes. Stir in the cinnamon and toasted almonds, and serve.

78

HAYATIONLINE.COM

HAYATIONLINE.COM

79


LIVING

LIVING

HAYATI

HAYATI

sambusa ingredients: 1 (14 ounce) package spring roll wrappers 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 pounds ground beef 1 leek, chopped 2 teaspoons ground cumin 2 teaspoons ground cardamom 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon pepper 1 small onion, finely chopped 1 clove garlic, minced 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon water, or as needed 1 quart oil for frying METHOD Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onions, leek and garlic, and cook,

82

HAYATIONLINE.COM

rose water pudding INGREDIENTS

stirring until the onions are transparent. Add ground beef, and cook until about halfway done. Season with cumin, cardamom, salt and pepper. Mix well, and continue cooking until beef has browned. In a small dish or cup, mix together the flour and water to make a thin paste. Using one wrapper at a time, fold into the shape of a cone. Fill the cone with the meat mixture, close the top, and seal with the paste. Repeat until wraps or filling are used up. Heat the oil to 365 degrees F ( 170 degrees C) in a deep-fryer or deep heavy pot. There should be enough oil to submerge the wraps. Fry the Sambusa a few at a time until golden brown. Remove carefully to drain on paper towels.

3 1/2 cups water 1/2 cup rose water 1/2 cup dry milk powder 1/2 cup white sugar 5 tablespoons cornstarch METHOD Whisk water, rose water, milk powder, sugar, and cornstarch together in a saucepan until smooth. Place over medium heat, stirring with a wooden spoon, and cook until it begins to boil; cook at a boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat immediately; stir a few times to help it cool. Divide the mixture between 8 small serving glasses; refrigerate until set, about 2 hours

HAYATIONLINE.COM

83


ADVERTIZE with


HAYATI  

issue 9 spread

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you