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KNOWING ME KNOWING YOU emotional intelligence & personality

路 Neil Mason 路


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neilmason@outlook.com


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

KNOWING ME · KNOWING YOU “ Seek first to understand … then to be understood.” Stephen R. Covey

INTRODUCTION · THERE IS A LOT OF MATERIAL AVAILABLE on the internet, as well as in a number of books which talk about DISC™ and other tools for understanding self and others. Here you will find a compilation of materials — most of which is not my own, but rather a selection of materials I have gathered. Full information can be found in the books listed in the bibliography as well as on numerous websites. Part of my goal is to encourage you to continue on your journey of selfdiscovery and understanding of others. As well as to introduce you to some tools that might help you to navigate relationships and understand something of why people act the way they do. Personally, I have found it profoundly satisfying to learn and understand more about myself (to become more self-aware) and learn to work more efficiently with those around me, whether they be family, friends, colleagues, or my students. KNOWING ME, KNOWING YOU will look at two main areas. • Knowing ME · self discovery — emotional intelligence — learning styles — personality types — DiSC • Knowing YOU · knowing others — understanding others — personality test (lion, otter, golden retriever, beaver) — people reading and their personality types working with your students understanding different strengths helping students understand themselves helping students understand each other

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· Emotional intelligence What is EQ? Some people just know how to get along with others; some people are more selfconfident, and some are great at inspiring people. All these require people to be smart about feelings. Emotional intelligence can be applied through a set of learnable skills that include identifying and changing emotions, motivating yourself, and empathizing with another person. Almost anyone can learn the EQ skills to build more successful relationships. For children, EQ helps increase academic success, bolster stronger friendships, and reduce risk behaviors. For adults, EQ skills are critical for career growth, relationships, and for health. www.6seconds.org/pdf/case_for_EQ_school.pdf

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage both your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence usually know what they're feeling, what this means, and how their emotions can affect other people. For leaders, having emotional intelligence is essential for success. After all, who is more likely to succeed — a leader who shouts at his team when he's under stress, or a leader who stay in control, and calmly assesses the situation? According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped make the idea of EI popular, there are five main elements of emotional intelligence:

• Self-awareness • Self-regulation • Motivation • Empathy • Social skills The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader. www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm www.sddu.leeds.ac.uk/uploaded/learning-teaching-docs/teachtalk/26-2-2010/alan_mortiboys.pdf http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm EQ = emotional quotient


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· Learning Styles Felder · Learning Styles Index of Learning Styles Questionnaire Barbara A. Soloman Richard M. Felder

www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.html Solomon-Felder

http://tinyurl.com/solomon-felder

Richard Felder website:

http://tinyurl.com/felder-site

Article:

http://tinyurl.com/felder-silverman

In-Depth Analysis of the Felder-Silverman Learning Style Dimensions

Sensing

Intuitive

• I tend to remember what I hear, see, taste, smell and feel.

• I see endless possibilities and sometimes have difficulty getting started on papers because I have so many ideas.

• I am organized and good with facts and details. • I am meticulously slow and sometimes have difficulty understanding theoretical concepts that are not grounded in the real world.

• I am creative and innovative. • I am sometimes careless with details and bored with repetition.

• I have some perfectionist tendencies.

Visual

Verbal

• I remember best what I see.

• I remember best what I hear or read.

• I prefer teachers who write a lot on the board rather than those who just talk a lot.

• I sometimes have difficulty understanding graphs and diagrams.

• When I get directions to a new place, I prefer to be given a map than written instructions.

• I need to talk or write about ideas to really understand them.

Active

Reflective

• I learn best by talking about the information in some way or testing it out in a practical setting.

• I learn best by carefully thinking through a problem or issue before doing anything.

• I excel in group work. • I sometimes act impulsively without thinking about the possible consequences.

• I am an independent learner, able to concentrate well and think things through thoroughly. • I dislike working in groups.

Sequential

Global

• I learn best in a logical, step by step manner.

• I learn in large leaps – all of a sudden, “I get it!”

• I must complete one thing before moving on to another. • If I get stuck on one thing, I have difficulty moving on to other things.

• I need to understand the entire picture before I can make sense of the details. • I learn by connecting material to prior knowledge and experience.

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¡ William Marston WILLIAM MOULTON MARSTON William Moulton Marston's life story is an interesting one— filled with accomplishments that at first seem totally unrelated. He was a lawyer, a psychologist, invented the first functional lie detector polygraph, created the DISC model for emotions and behavior of normal people, authored self-help books and created the Wonder Woman comic. The Lie Detector - Marston's Earliest Professional Years Having discovered a correspondence between blood pressure and lying, he built a device to measure changes in a person's blood pressure while the subject was being questioned. Marston formally published his early polygraph findings in 1917 on the lie detection invention he first constructed in 1915. During the 1920s and 30s Marston was an active lecturer and consulted with government groups. Unlike many psychologists of the time, he was more interested in the behavior of the general population of people rather than abnormal psychology. He gained the attention of the federal government for his research. He also sought the attention of the courts and the public by publishing widely and seeking publicity. Following the Lindbergh kidnapping in the 1930s, Marston offered his services to the Lindbergh family. Psychology, Emotions and Behavior Marston's DISC model In the early 20s Marston's work continued to be significant in the courts and legal system; however, it evolved in 1924 when he first studied the concepts of will and a person's sense of power and their effect on personality and human behavior. His work in consciousness, colors, primary emotions and bodily symptoms also contributed greatly to the field of psychology. The picture on the left shows Marston researching Emotions of Normal People, the 1928 book which formally presenting his findings. He published a second book, DISC, Integrative Psychology, in 1931. DISC came, by design, from Marston's search for measurements of the energy of behavior and consciousness. Marston did not develop an assessment or test from his model, although others later did. He did, however, apply his model and theory in the real world when he consulted with Universal Studios in 1930 to help them transition from melodramatic silent pictures to movies with audio. www.discprofile.com


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KNOWING ME 路 self-discovery 路 understand your strengths understand your weaknesses


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

Marston’s Model FAST PACED

Perceives Self as More Powerful than the Environment

INFLUENCE

Perceives an Unfavorable Environment

Perceives a Favorable Environment

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

STEADINESS Perceives Self as Less Powerful than the Environment

SLOW PACED

PEOPLE ORIENTED

TASK ORIENTED

DOMINANCE


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What is DISC? DiSC is an acronym for the four main personality types as described by Dr. Marston:    Dominance relates to control, power and assertiveness Influence relates to social situations and communication Steadiness relates to patience, persistence, and thoughtfulness Conscientiousness relates to structure and organization

DOMINANCE

Directive and Decisive. Ds are strong willed, strong minded people who like accepting challenges, taking action, and getting immediate results.

INFLUENCE

Interactive, Optimistic and Outgoing. Is are “people people” who like participating on teams, sharing ideas, and energizing and entertaining others.

STEADINESS

CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

Sympathetic and Cooperative. Ss are helpful people who like working behind the scenes, performing in consistent and predictable ways, and being good listeners. Concerned and Correct. Cs are sticklers for quality and like planning ahead, employing systematic approaches, and checking and re-checking for accuracy.

www.profileprof.com

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DISC Personality Profiles DOMINANCE: People who score high in the intensity of the “D” styles factor are very active in dealing with problems and challenges, while low “D” scores are people who want to do more research before committing to a decision. High “D” people are described as demanding, forceful, egocentric, strong willed, driving, determined, ambitious, aggressive, and pioneering. Low D scores describe those who are conservative, low keyed, cooperative, calculating, undemanding, cautious, mild, agreeable, modest and peaceful.

Dominant Driving Doer Inspiring Interesting Interactive Supportive Steady Stable Cautious Competent Careful

INFLUENCE: People with high “I” scores influence others through talking and activity and tend to be emotional. They are described as convincing, magnetic, political, enthusiastic, persuasive, warm, demonstrative, trusting, and optimistic. Those with low “I” scores influence more by data and facts, and not with feelings. They are described as reflective, factual, calculating, skeptical, logical, suspicious, matter of fact, pessimistic, and critical. STEADINESS: People with high “S” styles scores want a steady pace, security, and do not like sudden change. High “S” individuals are calm, relaxed, patient, possessive, predictable, deliberate, stable, consistent, and tend to be unemotional and poker faced. Low “S” intensity scores are those who like change and variety. People with low “S” scores are described as restless, demonstrative, impatient, eager, or even impulsive. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS: People with high “C” styles adhere to rules, regulations, and structure. They like to do quality work and do it right the first time. High “C” people are careful, cautious, exacting, neat, systematic, diplomatic, accurate, and tactful. Those with low “C” scores challenge the rules and want independence and are described as selfwilled, stubborn, opinionated, unsystematic, arbitrary, and unconcerned with details.

www.onlinedisc.com/educator.htm


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

High Emotional Intelligence Ambition Driving Strong-willed Decisive

Warm Enthusiastic Sociable Charming Persuasive

D

Aggressive Demanding Egotistical Bossy Confrontational

i

Easily Distracted Glib Selfish Poor Listener Impulsive

Patient Stable Predictable Consistent Good Listener

S

Detailed Careful Meticulous Systematic Neat

C

Resistant to Change Passive Un-Responsive Slow Stubborn

Critical Picky Fussy Hard to Please Perfectionist

Low Emotional Intelligence

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“Seek first to understand… then to be understood.” Theme Song My Way

D

I

Celebration

Don’t Rain on my Parade

C

S

People

Car Tank

D

I

Sports Car

Volvo

C

S

Mini van

Tends to do things Rapidly

D

I

Enthusiastically

Precisely

C

S

Patiently

When Making Decisions Decisive

D

I

Spontaneous

Deliberate

C

S

Collaborative

Likes the Environment to Be Businesslike

D

I

Playful

Methodical

C

S

Calm


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

Leaders &

Celebrities Dominance

Influence

Barack Obama Hillary Clinton George W. Bush John F. Kennedy Michael Jordan Margaret Thatcher

Bill Clinton Rosanne Barr Ellen Degeneres Will Smith Robin Williams Oprah Winfrey

Motto Charge! / Follow Me! Just Do It!

Motto Don’t Worry, Be Happy! Have Fun Doing It!

READY – FIRE – AIM

FIRE – FIRE – FIRE

Conscientiousness

Steadiness

Kevin Costner Bill Gates Meryl Streep Albert Einstein Jackie Kennedy Onassis

Michael J Fox Mother Teresa Gandhi Princess Diana Jimmy Carter

Motto “C.Y.A” (Cover your A**) Do it Right – The First Time!

Motto If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail.” Do it Together!

AIM – AIM – AIM

READY – READY – READY

http://onlinediscprofile.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/disc-styles-of-famous-people.html

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CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

C is for

STEADINESS

S is for

INFLUENCE

I is for

DOMINANICE

D is for

DISC Characterized as Fast Paced Firm Stance Strong Gestures

Easy Smile Alert Eyes Wide gestures

Direct Gaze Relaxed Stance Few Gestures

Reserved Eyebrows Raised Controlled Gestures

Characterized as Wants: Results Acts: Decisively Asks: “What”

Wants People Acts: Enthusiastically Asks: “Who”

Wants: Stability Acts: Systematically Asks: “How?”

Wants: Accuracy Acts: Cautiously Asks: “Why”

Perfectionist Too Critical of Self and Others Solo Player

Inflexible Aloof Passive Indecisive

Unrealistic Overselling Overly Emotional Enthusiastic

Intimidating Aggressive Domineering

May become

Profile and Body Language

www.discprofiles4u.com

To appear knowledgeable logical in control

To appear calm steady and stable

To appear warm friendly and safe

To show authority to feel strong and in control

Desires to …

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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

KNOWING YOU 路working with your students路 understanding different strengths helping students understand themselves helping students understand each other


! Knowing Me, Knowing You … Ação de Formação 2013 · NEIL MASON · Porto Editora

O

the animals of the forest decided they should become better educated so the y could deal with the problems of a changing world. They hired a consultant whose final report urged them to form a unified school district. An election was held and a rabbit, a squirrel, a duck, and an eagle were elected. In the first school board meeting the new members discussed the curriculum. Of course, each one had their own ideas about which subjects would be taught. After a great deal of discussion, they adopted an activity curriculum of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all students would be required to take every subject. In the beginning, the duck was excellent in swimming; in fact, he was better than the instructor. However, in the rest of the classes it was a different story. The duck got average grades in flying, failed the climbing class and was very poor in running. In fact, running caused his webbed feet to become so sore that eventually he became only average in swimming. But average was quite acceptable, so nobody worried about that, except the duck. The rabbit started at the top of his class in running, but soon developed cramps in his leg muscles because of so much make-up work in swimming. Before long he couldn't run as fast as he had before he started school. But that was all right with everyone, except the rabbit. As you would guess, the squirrel was excellent at climbing. However, he got so beaten up from jumping out of trees while trying to learn how to fly, that he didn't have the energy or the strength to climb like NCE UPON A TIME

Back in 1940, a man by the name of George Reavis, who was superintendent of the Cincinnati Public Schools, wrote a fable. It’s c a l l e d “ Th e A n i m a l School,” and it’s now in the public domain.

before. Because of this difficulty, he only got a "B" in climbing and a "C" in running. These were passing grades, but he remembered the good old days when he was the best climber. The eagle was a problem student from the beginning and was severely disciplined for being a nonconformist. In climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree but he insisted on using his own way to get there. The running coach accused him of not even trying. After swimming practice, his feathers were so wet, he couldn't fly for hours, so the duck got better grades for flying than the eagle did. The great symbol of America was being humiliated, and it hurt. A duck is a duck and only a duck. It is built to swim and to fly a little from one lake to another. They don't run very well, and they can't climb at all. If God made you a duck, don't compare yourself to an eagle. Just swim like mad and enjoy your uniqueness. Rabbits have the ability to change sp e e d and direction better than most other animals. That is a very desirable ability when you have a nonaggressive personality and want to stay alive in a hostile world. What would this world be like without bunny rabbits? A squirrel is a squirrel and only that. It is almost unchallenged in climbing, because it was made for climbing. To expect a squirrel to swim or fly will drive that squirrel nuts. The moral of the story is simple. Each creature has its own abilities at which it will naturally excel, unless of course, it is expected to do something for which it wasn't designed. When that happens, frustration, discouragement, and guilt bring overall mediocrity or sometimes even complete defeat.


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

How to Take and Score the Inventory 1. For each temperament type, circle the positive traits (in the LEFT column) that sound the most like you – as you are at home. It will probably help to cover the right hand column as you take the inventory, to help you focus on the positives. 2. Ignore the RIGHT hand (negatives) column — for now. 3. For each trait, add up the number of circled traits (in the LEFT column) and then DOUBLE that number. This is your score. 4. To graph your temperament “mix”, mark your score for each temperament type on the graph with a large dot. If you want, draw a line to connect the dots. ge s char Take ined rm Dete rising Enterp titive pe Com tive uc Prod eful os Purp urous nt nt Adve ende Indep lling ro Cont oriented n Actio

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Otter

How did you do? Remember this isn’t a pass-fail test. This evaluation simply shows your tendencies and traits. As you look at your charted score, you may see a blend of all four categories. That’s fine. Or you may see two scores significantly higher than the others. Or you may have one category that’s head and shoulders above the other three. No none pattern is “correct.” Now take note of the right-hand column extreme for each of your circled characteristics. This might be how your positive traits are perceived by your family or friends.

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LION Likes authority Confident Firm Enjoys challenges Problem solver Bold Goal driven Strong willed Self reliant Persistent

Takes charge Determined Enterprising Competitive Productive Purposeful Adventurous Independent Controlling Action oriented

Lion Score (2 x ☑) ______ “Let’s do it now!”

OTTER Enthusiastic Visionary Energetic Promoter Mixes easily Fun-loving Spontaneous Creative-new ideas Optimistic Infectious laughter

Takes Risks Motivator Very verbal Friendly Enjoys popularity Likes variety Enjoys change Group oriented Initiator Inspirational

Otter Score (2 x ☑) ______ “Trust me! It’ll work out!”


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

GOLDEN RETRIEVER Sensitive feelings Calm Non-demanding Avoids confrontations Enjoys routine Warm and relational Adaptable Thoughtful Patient Good listener

Loyal Even keeled Gives in Indecisive Dislikes change Dry humor Sympathetic Nurturing Tolerant Peace maker

Retriever Score (2 x ✓) ______ “Let’s keep things the way they are.”

BEAVER Enjoys instructions Consistent Reserved Practical Factual Perfectionistic Detailed Inquisitive Persistent Sensitive

Accurate Controlled Predictable Orderly Conscientious Discerning Analytical Precise Scheduled Deliberate

Beaver Score (2 x ✓) ______ “How was it done in the past?” 17


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There are a number of sites online to take a DiSC™ personality test. Many of them will cost a little money if you want a report. Or you might like to try IDISC™ If you are interested in getting deeper into your personality type, you may want to try the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator MBTI™ On the next pages you will find another simple option you may like to use with your students — it is easy to remember the four types. Here is an online version:

http://www.attitude.org.nz/home/swf/personality_test.swf

· http://tinyurl.com/smalley-test


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KNOWING ME . KNOWING YOU

Lions like to lead. The lion is good at making decisions and is very goaloriented. He enjoys challenges, difficult assignments, and opportunity for advancement. Because lions are thinking of the goal, they can step on people to reach it. Lions can be very aggressive and competitive. Lions must learn not to be too bossy or to take charge in others’ affairs. Strength: Goal-oriented, strong, direct Weakness: Argumentative, too dictatorial Limitation: Doesn't understand that directness can hurt others; hard time expressing grace.

Beavers are very organized. Beavers think that there is a right way to do everything and they want to do it exactly that way. Beaver personalities are very creative. They desire to solve everything and desire to take their time and do it right. Beavers do not like sudden changes. They need reassurance. Strength: High standards, order, respect Weakness: Unrealistic expectations of self and others, too perfect Limitation: Seeing the optimistic side of things, expressing flexibility.

Otters are very social creatures. Otter personalities love people. They enjoy being popular and influencing and motivating others. Otters are sometimes hurt when people do not like them. Otter personalities usually have lots of friends, but not deep relationships. They love to goof-off. (They are notorious for messy rooms.) Otters like to hurry and finish jobs. (Jobs are not often done well.) The otter personality is like Tigger’s in Winnie The Pooh. Strength: People person, open, positive Weakness: Talks too much, too permissive Limitation: Remembering past commitments, follow through with discipline.

Golden Retriever are great at making friends. They are very loyal. Retriever personalities do not like big changes. They look for security and can be very sensitive. Retrievers are very caring and have deep relationships, but usually have only a couple of close friends. A golden retriever wants to be loved by everyone. He looks for appreciation and works best in a limited situation with a steady work pattern. Strength: Accommodating, calm, affirming Weakness: Indecisive, indifferent, unable to express emotions, too soft on other people Limitation: Seeing the need to be more assertive, holding others accountable.

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Bibliography BOOKS Baron, R. — What Type Am I? Discover who you really are. Penguin 1998. Boyd, C. F. — Different Children, Different Needs. Multnomah Books, Penguin, 2004. Bradberry, T. — The Personality Code. G.P. Putnam’s Sons, Penguin Group, 2007. Bradbury, T.; Greaves J. — Emotional Intelligence 2.0. Talentsmart, 2009. Dweck, C. — Mindset— The New Psychology of Success. Ballantine Books, 2006. Rohm, R. A. — Tales out of school. Personality Insights, Inc. 1995, 2001. Rojas, E. – Não te rendas! Como vencer a adversidade com maturidade e inteligência. Matéria Prima Edições, 2012. Straw, J. — The 4-Dimensional Manager, Inscape Publishing, 2002.

ONLINE 6seconds.org — The Case for Emotional Intelligence. Sixseconds, The Emotional Intelligence Network.

www.6seconds.org/case

Felder, R. M.; Solomon, B.A. — Index of Learning Styles Questionnaire

www.engr.ncsu.edu/learningstyles/ilsweb.html

Graf, S.; Viola, S. R.; Leo T. — In-Depth Analysis of the Felder-Silverman Learning Style Dimensions, Journal of Research on Technology in Education

http://wit.at/people/graf/publications/graf_viola_kinshuk_leo_JRTEjournal.pdf

Helpguide.org — Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Five Key Skills for Raising Emotional Intelligence www.helpguide.org/mental/eq5_raising_emotional_intelligence.htm MindTolls.com — Emotional Intelligence: Developing Strong "People Skills"

www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm

Mortiboys, A. — Teaching with Emotional Intelligence www.sddu.leeds.ac.uk/uploaded/learning-teaching-docs/teachtalk/26-2-2010/alan_mortiboys.pdf easy link: http://tinyurl.com/teachingwithEQ Smalley, G. — Gary Smalley Personality Types Inventory

www3.dbu.edu/jeanhumphreys/SocialPsych/smalleytrentpersonality.htm

ONLINE DiSC Styles of Famous People

http://onlinediscprofile.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/disc-styles-of-famous-people.html

DiSC® by Inscape

www.inscapepublishing.com

Smalley online test

www.attitude.org.nz/home/swf/personality_test.swf


Knowing Me, Knowing You  

Emotional Intelligence and Personality Types

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