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Health & Medicine

“Men are Stupid & Women are Crazy!”


o, this is not the title of a new country song but the premise for understanding the intrinsic difference in men and women’s brains and communication styles and the quote actually comes from one of our clients. Many have become familiar with the idea that men use more of their left hemisphere for logical, linear, goal oriented tasks, whereas, women are prone to emotional, right hemisphere, intuitive processing. While the male brain is larger, the female brain has more dendrite connections, and more activity in both hemispheres simultaneously due to the corpus callosum that connects the two. Men tend to see the large picture or give the headline of a story, while women are more detailed and fine print. Other aspects which challenge communication and understanding are the facts that women tend to speak 2-3 times as many words per day as men and the organization of information is stored differently. A man’s brain is more like a waffle, thus allowing them to separate and detach from issues more easily with different boxes or compartments. The beauty of the male brain lies not just in its superior logical analysis but the fact that they have a NOTHING BOX. This has annoyed women for years as they will often ask their husbands what they

are thinking about, only to hear them reply, “nothing, honey.” Women may in fact be slightly jealous of this feature, as the woman’s brain is structured more like a bowl of spaghetti, with each strand leading to a connection and yet to another. While women can be more global in their thinking, they are challenged with quieting their thoughts or being able to focus on one at a time. While women want to vent and be listened to, men are eager to come up with a solution to the problem. Since men are more goal-oriented and women are more process and relationship driven, this affects not only communication but also the sexual relationship. Women tend to need the relationship to be going well, to have a sense of security and feelings of being loved and cherished prior to feeling sexual. This is a separate issue for most men, independent of their feelings of arousal. Thus, when counseling a couple, we have often referred to men as “microwaves and women as crock pots, because they take longer to heat up.” While these differences are not concrete or absolute, they do represent the general uniqueness of the genders. Culturally, we have been guilty of encouraging androgyny as opposed


Kathleen Abbott, Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Clinical Director

John R. “Jack” Jones, Jr, Licensed Mental Health Counselor & Certified Family Law Mediator

to understanding and celebrating the differences. Perhaps if we understood the Creator’s vision more, it would make it eaasier to embrace this concept. God uses the design to demonstrate the two are better than one, and that marriage was designed to complete and heal each member. If the husband and wife were exactly alike, especially on all of their emotional dimensions, one would not be necessary! The full image of God is represented in the creation of

a loving union, which is realized when balance and grace allow for the flow of each other’s contributions. While this can be a challenge for many who are already in patterns of dishonoring, competing and blaming with their partners, there is hope. At LifeSource, we are committed to the healing and restoration of relationships and we offer a unique, solution focused treatment involving mind, body and spirit.


Lasting Results Through Science & Spirituality an We are now ic Amen Clin te Affilia

Kathleen Abbott, LMHC John “Jack” Jones, LMHC Melody Ott, LCSW Thomas Swisshelm, MEd, EdS Barbara Jenkin, M.A., CAP Megan Keegan, MS Liggett M. Cato, CECP Cynthia Zsolani, PhD Susan Barrow, LCSW Lin Brightman, BCHC

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San Jose Woman's Journal - June/July 2014  
San Jose Woman's Journal - June/July 2014  

Objective, Informational, Educational, for Women