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VOLUME 5, ISSUE 2, February 2014

Family Matters NCNG Family Programs' Publication for Military Families


Contents 04 NCNG Education and Employment Center From job postings, to workshops and career days, the NC National Guard Employment Center is a resource for Service Members and their Families.

05 Maintaining a Healthy Body Image During Swimsuit Season

Even though it is cold summer will be around the corner at which time focus on our personal appearance is intensified.

North Carolina National Guard Employment and Education Center Page 04

06 Pumped Up!

MYCAA and the Department of Veterans Affairs education benefits might be able to help jump start a new career in fitness.

07 Teenagers and Digital Dating Abuse New technologies are wonderful to have but they can also provide new avenues for abusive behavior.

09 Bounce Back

Help your Family Face Challenges Successfully: Building Your Family

Bounce Back Page 09

Resilience.

10 Strong Bonds 2014 Strong Bonds Events

11 Being Ready Means Being Prepared OPTEMPO may be low but we need to continue to strengthen our Family Readiness Groups and support networks.

12 Various Bits of Information Family Readiness Group Regional Training, Tax services for Military Families, Internship opportunities for military youth and More on page 15.

Being Ready Means Being Prepared Page 11

15 Webinars Joint Services Support webinars and Volunteer Training Panel Discussion on the effect of deployments on Servicemembers and Families..

On the Cover : Image obtained from deviantart.com and is titled be wallpaper by user madazulu. Some rights reserved. This work is licensed for use Under the Creative Commons Attribution of which this publication is able to copy and redistribute the material in any medium or format which is not for profit and is intended for the public domain.

Do you have a photo that would be great on the Cover of Family Matters? E-mail a photo you have permissions for to ncngfamilyprograms@gmail.com with a description of the photo and who took the picture.


Happy February Everyone, We are excited to let you know about the wonderful programs and services that are still happening including our Strong Bonds events! We hope that if you haven't been able to attend this year, you will take the opportunity to attend this great program. February is a perfect time to reflect and celebrate that important person in your life. We’ve included an interesting article on how to keep your military family ship strong, when whatever "storm" passes through. As we know, we’re all at different points in the military life cycle, so, take what you can use and apply it to your particular situation. And, if you are having some issues or concerns in your life, not only your marriage or maybe with your child, but maybe on the job, remember we have Military Family Life Consultants (MFLC) available. Our MFLCs are free of charge, there is no paperwork and your sessions are confidential. Military OneSource still offers military members and their Families, free counseling MESSAGE F R O M services, as well, either via phone, eTH E DIREC TO R mail or they can set you up with a local provider in your area. While it’s only February, we are gearing up to bring you as many useful tools and resources as we can. Please be attentive and join our Facebook page so that as we get updates, you’ll be updated also. We always welcome new volunteers; so, if you or someone you may know would like to help, please give us a call. You’ll find all of our teams numbers listed throughout this publication. Our existing volunteers (and/or anyone interested) are encouraged to participate in the National Guard Volunteer/JSS Webinar trainings. As we go forth into 2014, I am so happy to say that, today, we have more opportunities available to us. The more you take advantage of these resources, from webinars to employment readiness events to FAC events, the more that will be available to our State’s military Families. And, please remember no situation or question is too large or too small. We’ll work through it together. While you may feel your situation is unique, we know that there are certain things that every Military Family faces, in some form or another. With that said, we look forward to being a part of your extended family this year, and helping in any way you may need. Thank you for all you do,

Diane Coffill NC National Guard and Families First line of Defense Call the Behavioral Health At

1-855-322-3848 About Our Family Our Family was created to provide Servicemembers and Families the most up-to-date information and services available. If you would like to contribute to future issues, or if you have suggestions and comments, please contact the NCNG Family Programs Marketing and Communications Department personnel, Angelena Dockery or Kathryn Jarvis, at ncngfamilyprograms@gmail.com. E-Versions of Family Matters can be downloaded at the NCNG Family Programs web page at www.nc.ngb.army.mil. References in this newsletter to any specific commercial products, processes, services, or the use of any trade, firm, or corporation name does not constitute endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by NCNG Family Programs.

FAM ILY MAT TER S F EB R UA RY 2014 D i a n e Co f f i l l St ate Fa m i l y Pro gra m D i re c to r d i a n e.l.co f f i l l.c i v@ m a i l.m i l (919) 664-6324 M a s te r S g t. R a m o n a S co t t Fa m i l y Pro gra m s S p e c i a l i s t ra m o n a .k .s co t t.m i l @ m a i l.m i l ( 9 1 9 ) 6 6 4 - 6 0 0 0 Ex t. 4 7 0 0 5 St a f f S g t. Ta m my Fow l e r Fa m i l y Pro gra m s As s i s t a nt t a m my.l.fow l e r.m i l @ m a i l.m i l ( 9 1 9 ) 6 6 4 - 6 0 0 0 Ex t 4 6 8 7 6 L a n a G re e r St ate FAC Co o rd i n ato r l a n a .m .gre e r.c t r @ m a i l.m i l ( 8 0 0 ) 6 2 1 - 4 1 3 6 Ex t. 1 1 6 6 7 Te r r y H e n d e r s o n Air m an & Fa m i l y R e a d i n e s s Pro gra m Mgr. te r r y.h e n d e r s o n @ a n g.a f.m i l (704) 398-4949 Al i ce D e a n Le a d C h i l d & Yo ut h Co o rd i n ato r a l i ce.c.d e a n .c t r @ m a i l.m i l ( 8 0 0 ) 6 2 1 - 4 1 3 6 Ex t 1 2 1 8 3 K r i s t i Wa gn e r Yo ut h Co o rd i n ato r k r i s t i .l.wa gn e r 4 .c t r @ m a i l.m i l ( 8 0 0 ) 6 2 1 - 4 1 3 6 Ex t. 1 4 7 6 1 An g e l e n a D o c k e r y M ar k e t i n g & Co m m un i c at i o n s M a n a g e r s a l l i e.a .d o c k e r y.c t r @ m a i l.m i l (919) 485-9570 K at h r yn Ja r vi s M ar k e t i n g & Co m m un i c at i o n s M a n a g e r k at h r yn .a .j a r vi s.c t r @ m a i l.m i l (919) 485-9571 Jud y R i c h a rd s o n Senior FRSA j u d i t h .r.r i c h a rd s o n .c t r @ m a i l.m i l ( 8 0 0 ) 6 2 1 - 4 1 3 6 Ex t. 1 1 3 4 6

February 2014 Family Matters 

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North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center The North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center is centered in Raleigh but supports Service Members throughout the State from satellite locations in Asheville and Gastonia. Every region in NC has its own representatives that generate connections in that area. “If you or someone you know is a Guard Member or dependent that needs employment assistance please contact the NCNG EEC at (919) 664-6463, visit us on Facebook by searching for North Carolina National Guard Education and Employment Center, or e-mail us at NG.NC.NCARNG.MBX.EEC@mail.mil. ~NCNG EEC Marketing Director Joshua Gonzalez

Connect With Us If you are unemployed, underemployed, or know someone who is, please call us at (919) 664-6463 or (800) 621-4136 option #3. We can also be found on the NCNG Website, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Our services include:

http://www.nc.ngb.army.mil/Careers/Pages/ER.aspx

​ areer Assessment C ​Individual Employment Plans ​Job Seekers Workshop Search Engine Navigation Help ​MOS/AFSC to Civilian Job Information ​Job Search Help ​Education Entitlement Information ​Resume Preparation ​Transition Resources ​Employment Preparation Interview Preparation

YOUR EMPLOYMENT AND EDUCATION RESOURCE CENTER FOR SERVICE MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES LIKE US ON FACEBOOK: Get the latest job postings, info on Veteran Career Days, Employment & Career Workshops, and more! Search www.facebook.com/ncngeducationandemploymentcenter

NATIONAL GUARD EMPLOYMENT NETWORK DATABASE:

Register in our National Guard Employment Network database today to browse the millions of jobs posted by veteran-friendly employers seeking your valued skill set! Or send your resume to the Education and Employment Center’s group email box at NG.NC.NCARNG.MBX.EEC@mail.mil.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER: @NCNGandEmploy

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Family Matters February 2014


With summer right around the corner, it's time to dust off the patio furniture, pack up the sweaters and dig out the tank tops and shorts. It's the season of backyard barbeques and fun in the sun. And with the warm weather and trips to the pool or the beach, there is often an intensified focus on our bodies. Generally, most people have something they'd like to change about their body - wide hips, short legs, soft bellies - the list goes on and on. Some of this desire for change is ok; it may motivate us to exercise more or eat better, but sometimes body image issues can affect us in negative ways. Tips for maintaining a healthy body image —Embrace the body you have. It's easy to focus on the things you want to change about your body, but try spending more time on what you love about it. Maybe it's your eyes, your strength, your good health or the belly that held your children for nine months. Whatever it is, find something to appreciate! —Stop making comparisons. Remember, the media's portrayal of the human body is grossly inaccurate. The average person does not look like the models on television and does not have the luxury to get airbrushed to perfection all the time. —Make realistic goals for yourself. If you want to become more fit or healthy, it doesn't help to dwell on the negative. —Make realistic, positive changes in your life and the results will come. This can be as simple as taking a walk every day. —Spend time around positive people. Hang out with people who love and support you just the way you are and say goodbye to those who make you feel inadequate in some way. —Compliment yourself every day. Build up your self-esteem by reminding yourself what you love. Your smile, your ability to make people laugh, your exceptional cooking abilities, etc. The more you compliment yourself, the better you'll feel. When you value yourself for many reasons, your view of yourself will be well rounded and less concentrated on your body image.

Maintaining a Healthy Body Image During Swimsuit Season

Recognizing signs of trouble Most people have moments when they feel down about themselves or what they look like, but it's important to realize when your negative body image may be affecting your life in a bigger way. If you or someone you know has an unhealthy preoccupation with body image, it may be time to seek help from a counselor or another source. Here are some signs to look out for: —Constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body —Frequently comparing yourself to others —Calling yourself names such as "sloppy" or "gross" —Refusing to accept a compliment —Believing that a different waist size or weight is the key to your happiness —Feeling a sense of shame about your body —Letting your mood be determined by how you look —Always focusing on what you don't like when you look in the mirror Continues on next page

Share your Success Like NCNGFP February 2014 Family Matters 

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The IFPA accepts VA Benefits!

The owner and founder of the IFPA, Dr. Bell, is a Veteran himself, and at the IFPA, we understand the military lifestyle comes with a set of unique needs. It is an honor and a privilege to serve you.

Personal training, be it to train yourself or others, can be a very rewarding field. With only 22% of the U.S. population regularly active at a level conductive for maintaining health, we need more qualified fitness professionals spreading the message.

UP! PUMPED The International Fitness Professionals Association proudly supports our military members, and we are dedicated to providing the highest quality service possible to our warrior class.

American Fitness Professionals and Associates, AFPA, Certification Programs Approved For “MYCAA” This program will provide the spouse financial aid up to $4000.00 for a variety of certifications.

Fitness not your thing… Compare Veterans Affairs-approved institutions and review other information to choose the educational program that works best for you. http://www.benefits.va.gov/GIBILL/index.asp

Become a Personal Fitness Trainer in 6 Months at a Location Near You! Day, evening, and weekend class schedules will fit your busy schedule. Financial assistance is offered to those who qualify. FREE Nationwide Job placement assistance for all graduates. FREE ongoing consultation with nutritionists, and fitness experts. http://nptifitness.com/training-programs.php http://nptifitness.com/mycaa.php Charlotte- http://nptifitness.com/school.php?id=45 Raleigh- http://nptifitness.com/school.php?id=40 6 

Family Matters February 2014

https://www.ifpa-fitness.com/ ifpa_Use_Your_VA_Benefits_ personal_fitness_trainer_certification.html

Please call MYCAA if you need more information at 800-3429647 Or Visit Vist MYCAA.COM Click on “School Search”; type in “AFPA”; then click “Search”. You will see all AFPA Certification programs which have been approved by MYCAA.

National Personal Training Program Accepts Veterans’ Benefits and MYCAA Benefits

• • • •

The IFPA is VA approved! All of the certifications can be reimbursed by the VA.

"Body Image" Continued Negative body image is most often seen in women, but many men suffer from it as well. It often coincides with low self-esteem and depression and can eventually lead to eating disorders. Resources Military OneSource offers health and wellness coaching at no cost to help eligible individuals safely improve their overall health and well-being in areas such as weight management, fitness and nutrition, stress management and more. To sign up, call 800-3429647, and a Military OneSource consultant will register you and schedule your first session right away.


Te e n a g e r s

And

Digital Dating Abuse

Original Article on Military One Source.com

New technologies can be a wonderful thing, but they can also provide new avenues for abusive behavior. Teenagers may be especially vulnerable to digital abuse because they are attracted to and often rely on these new technologies to communicate. Using texts or social media to threaten, demean or stalk are all forms of digital abuse. If you or someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, remember abuse is not OK, online or off. Understanding digital dating abuse Using social media or texting as a means of abuse is a growing problem among teenagers. Here are some of the most common forms of digital dating abuse: —sending threatening or derogatory emails or texts —posting harassing or insulting statements on social networking sites —excessive texting to keep tabs on a dating partner —sending explicit pictures or video by e-mail or text message, often called "sexting" —using another person's password to log into their cell phone or social media accounts —using tracking applications on social networking sites to stalk someone Teenagers may think this type of abuse is a normal part of the relationship. But digital abuse, like other forms of abuse, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and may lead to physical violence if the relationship continues along the same path. Continues on next page Royaly Free Image license - Image ID 26829177 © Grungemaster | Dreamstime.com

February 2014 Family Matters 

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Digital Dating continued

Teen Council Events

What you can do to protect yourself

February 11, 2014 5:30pm-8:00pm Wake County Cooperative Extension Office 4001 Carya Dr. Raleigh, NC 27610

If you or someone you know is in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, there are things you can do to help protect yourself. They include the following: —Understand that you don't deserve to be mistreated, online or in person. —Do not text or post any pictures that make you feel uncomfortable. Try to think beyond the moment. Once you have sent a picture, you cannot get it back. —Keep your passwords private. Don't give them out to friends, including your boyfriend or girlfriend. —Take a look at your privacy settings on social networking sites. Be sure you understand how they work and change them if necessary to protect your privacy. —Don't respond to constant text messages. It's OK to turn off your phone when you're with family and friends. —Disconnect the tracking on your mobile device. Avoid "checking in" on social media sites, and ask your friends not to "tag" or track you with their mobile devices. —If necessary, deactivate your Facebook account when you log off. This will help keep your information private when you are not online. Your account is automatically reactivated when you log on again.

February 18, 2014 5:30pm-8:00pm Wilmington Armory 2412 Infantry Drive Wilmington, NC 28405 Raleigh &Wilmington

Teen council February meeting is Job Search Skills-Getting Started, Networking Being Prepared Completing ApplicationsReferences Wrapping It Up

How parents can help Parents play a key role in helping their teenagers learn to build healthy relationships. You can begin by teaching your teenager that all communication, including digital communication, should be respectful. The following tips may help: —Keep up-to-date on the technology your child uses. —Be sure you have access to their cell phone and Internet accounts. —Check their Internet histories. —Review their text messages. Let them know you will be checking. —Teach your teenager to use social networking sites responsibly. —Talk with your teenager about the importance of mutual respect in a relationship. —Teach your teenager that abusive behavior is never acceptable. —Talk with your child about the importance of trust and relationship boundaries. Let your teen know their privacy is important, and they should be concerned about anyone who wants to share passwords for phone or e-mail accounts. —Model good relationships. Be respectful in your relationships at home and show your teenager that communicating in a positive way helps build trust and respect. 8 

Family Matters February 2014

February 20, 2013 5:30pm-8:00pm Charlotte Armory, 4240 West Blvd., Charlotte, NC 28208 Charlotte

Members will focus this month on the "7 Habits Highly Effective Teens: Get in the Habit and Personal Bank Account"

1.

A

B

C

D

Free SAT and ACT Test Prep Program for Military members and families at www.eknowledge.com/Mil


Bounce Back Help Your Family Face Challenges Successfully: Building Your Family's Resilience

Long deployment separations, difficult post-deployment adjustments, frequent moves and major life changes and challenges can make navigating military life difficult. While most families are able to manage the unique demands of military life, some families seem to handle these challenges with more ease. Some families may be naturally more able to address these challenges based on their life experiences, for example. If you are looking for ways to improve your own and your family's resilience, this information may help. What is resilience? One popular definition of resilience is the ability to withstand, recover and grow in the face of stressors and changing demands. Being resilient doesn't mean you avoid emotional pain and suffering when faced with a crisis. Instead, it means you're able to recover and even grow stronger from the experience. Experts are beginning to discover what makes some people more resilient than others and to identify things we can do to increase resilience in ourselves and our families.

2014 Camp Corral Schedule coming soon Check http://campcorral.org

Characteristics of resilient families In Strengthening Family Resilience, (The Guilford Press, 2006), resilience specialist Dr. Froma Walsh identifies nine characteristics that resilient families share. These characteristics reveal the family belief systems, organizational patterns and communication/problem-solving skills that foster resilience in adults and children. •Finding meaning in adversity - Resilient families view crises as shared challenges that together they can understand, manage and make meaningful in some way. They see their emotions as human and understandable under the circumstances and believe in their ability to learn from their experiences and move forward. •Positive outlook - Resilient families have an optimistic rather than pessimistic view of life. Members see each other's strengths and offer encouragement to overcome difficulties or accept what can't be changed. (Continues on page 13)

2014 Operation Purple Sign up at www.militaryfamily.org to receive announcements for upcoming Operation Purple Camps. February 2014 Family Matters 

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Just In Time....

Strong Bonds 2014 2-3 May 2014, Raleigh area Marriage Weekend Event,

Priority registration for members of the 30th Brigade Special Troops Battalion.

2-3 May 2014, Raleigh area Singles Weekend Event

Priority registration for members of the 30th Brigade Special Troops Battalion.

14 June 2014, Raleigh area One-Day Marriage Event 27-29 June 2014, North Carolina Beach area Marriage Weekend event 22-24 August 2014, North Carolina Beach area Marriage Weekend Event 12-14 September 2014, Charlotte area Family Weekend Event

Limited Space is available. Check your calendar and see which date may work for you. Locations and additional information will be provided. For registration or general questions, please contact: Staff Sgt. Tammy Fowler at (800) 621-4136 ext.46876 or via e-mail at tammy.l.fowler.mil@mail.mil

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Family Matters February 2014


pre·pare pri'pe(ə)r/ verb

Being Ready

Being Prepared

make (something) ready for use or consideration. "prepare a brief summary of the article" synonyms:make/get ready, put together, draw up

By Judy Richardson, Senior FRSA As we start the New Year, many of us look forward to making new goals and resolutions. What better time than now to look at our Family Readiness Groups and ask, “Are we as prepared as we can be?” FRG preparedness is a year round effort and the im-

FRGs are not just for deployments, it’s about staying

portance of family support and family readiness can-

“ready” for any period of separation whether it be dur-

not be overstressed. Deployment exercises at monthly ing your soldier’s annual training, emergencies, other drills keep our soldiers at the highest state of pre-

activations for natural disasters, schools, (anytime your

paredness possible. Why then, would we not want our soldier is away from home). Be prepared…be READY! FRG’s to be just as ready? Family readiness means less stress for both soldiers and family members during all Additionally, having an organized FRG with numerous phases of the deployment cycle.

persons involved, will assure that business will continue in the event that a leader needs to step down. We

In order for an FRG to be fully “ready,” they must un-

have all heard of FRGs falling apart when an individual

derstand the importance of frequent meetings and con- decides to resign their position or when the troops stant communication with the Families. Assuring that come home from deployment. An effective FRG should all families, not just the FRG Leaders, are informed

not falter events like this. All FRG’s should be properly

should be a top goal within the organization; this way resourced with people and equipment. all members will be prepared for a possible separation or emergency. Building the foundation and support

The Family Programs Office is full of resources and

network before the inevitable questions, problems or experts in the field of Family Readiness and organizaissues during deployments is key. Families should get tion. Utilize what is offered to your groups and let’s be to meet other people in the FRG before a deployment prepared for anything that may arise! so they are building the friendships and bonds before

As we go into February, we all know about President's versus looking for them when the (Soldiers) are gone. Day and Valentine's Day but did you know that You start making the foundations now and it makes it February 17th is "Random Acts of Kindness Day". What about volunteering, helping a neighbor or "Pay it easier when they (deploy).” Forward". Vector Graphic by DryIcons- Use under free Lisence

February 2014 Family Matters 

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FRG Regional Training Registration is Now Open Wilmington February 22: https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails.aspx?Mode=ReadOnly&Id=3E7B121B-11E5-4DA1-8239-DFC5CCD86998 Greensboro March 8: https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/EventDetails.aspx?Mode=ReadOnly&Id=58FE5F7A-95FB-49FB-BA7F-DB3C007455D7

National Guard Bureau Joint Service Support

Monday

Taxes

Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday

15 Feb &15 March

Sunday

The Raleigh Office will accept tax appointments on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 0900-1400 starting20January2014andrunningtill15April2014. This year we will also open the Raleigh Office for tax appointments on two Saturdays from 0900-1400; 15 February 2014 and 15 March 2014. Appointments can be scheduled by calling Legal Assistance (919) 664-6220 / (800) 621-4136 Ext. 46220.

The National Guard Bureau Joint Services Support organization is dedicated to providing policies, resources and trainings. Some of the programs you will find here are: Yellow Ribbon Reintegration, Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (ESGR), National Guard Family, NGB Psychological Health, Sexual Assault and Prevention, and Warrior Support. The JSS website also provides commanders, FRG leaders and volunteers with local resources and events, presentation templates, volunteer time trackers, community forums, self-paced e-learning trainings, and every possible support tool your Guard families may need. Signing up is free and easy and is a great way to link our state FRG’s together! Visit www.jointservicessupport.org

Military Extension Internship Programs www.ydae.purdue.edu/military The Military Extension Internship Program provides college students and recent graduates opportunities to use their college coursework in the real world through valuable work experience with military child and youth programs. Internships Applications for Fall 2014 are due 1 Feb - 31 March 2014. 12 

Family Matters February 2014


Bounce Back continued-page 9

sibility for their own feelings and accept 10 ways to become more resilient when others who have different feelings. They dealing with stress or adversity:

•Transcendence and spirituality - Re-

value positive interactions and appreci- •Make connections. Good relationships

silient families have beliefs and values

ate humor, even as they cope with dif-

with close family members, friends or

that offer meaning, purpose and con-

ficult circumstances.

others are important. Accepting help

nection beyond their personal lives

•Clarity - Resilient families practice

and support from those who care about

and troubles. They find strength and

clear, consistent and honest communi-

you and will listen to you strengthens

comfort in their cultural and religious

cation. Family members say what they

resilience. Some people find that being

traditions and experience spiritual in-

mean and mean what they say; thus,

active in civic groups, faith-based orga-

spiration in a variety of ways, including

they avoid sending vague, confusing or nizations or other local groups provides

nature, the arts, service to others, and

mixed messages to each other.

social support and can help restore

faith in a higher power.

Collaborative problem solving - Resil-

hope. Assisting others in their time of

•Flexibility - Resilient families adapt

ient families manage their difficulties

need can also benefit the helper.

to change. They're able to adjust their

by working together to understand a

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable

family roles and rules to fit new life

problem and identify ways to solve it.

problems. You can't change the fact that

challenges while maintaining the ritu-

They make decisions together in ways

highly stressful events happen, but you

als and traditions that provide stability

that allow family members to disagree

can change how you interpret and re-

in their relationships. Their flexibility

openly and then resolve those disagree- spond to them. Try looking beyond the

depends on strong, yet nurturing leader- ments through negotiation, compromise present to brighter days a little farther ship, guidance, protection of children,

and give-and-take. These families seek

down the line. Note any subtle ways in

and mutual respect in the marital rela-

to repair the hurts and misunderstand-

which you might already feel somewhat

tionship.

ings that go along with conflicts and act better as you deal with difficult situa-

•Connectedness - Resilient families

proactively to solve current problems

tions.

pull together during times of crisis.

and prevent future ones. They also

•Accept that change is part of living.

They're able to function as a team and

learn from their mistakes.

Certain goals may no longer be attain-

support each other while respecting individual needs, differences and bound-

able as a result of adverse situations. Increasing your family's resilience

Accepting circumstances that can-

aries.

not be changed can help you focus on

•Social and economic resources -

If you're currently coping with a stress-

things you can change.

When they can't solve problems on

ful situation such as the deployment of

•Move toward your goals. Develop

their own, resilient families reach out

a loved one to a combat area or caring

some realistic goals. Do something,

for help by turning to extended family,

for a wounded warrior or if you're suf-

however small, on a regular basis that

friends, neighbors, community services fering from a loss or dealing with a cri-

helps you move toward your goals.

and/or counseling.

sis of any kind, there are things you can Instead of focusing on tasks that seem

•Open emotional sharing - Resilient

start doing right now to strengthen your unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one

families accept and encourage a wide

own resilience and model resilience for

thing I know I can accomplish today

range of emotional expression (joy, sad- your children. The American Psycho-

that helps me move in the direction I

ness, fear, silliness, etc.) in adults and

logical Association in its publication,

want to go?"

children. Family members take respon-

The Road to Resilience, recommends

February 2014 Family Matters 

13


•Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as

mind and body primed to deal with situations that require

you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching com-

resilience.

pletely from problems and stresses and wishing they would

Raising resilient children

just go away. •Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn Different factors, including temperament and intelligence, something about themselves and may find that they've grown influence children's resilience. However, no influence is in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many

more important than the parenting they receive. When par-

people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have

ents model and teach their children the habits of resilient

reported better relationships, a greater sense of personal

families, the children will already have many of the skills

strength even while feeling vulnerable, an increased sense of needed to cope with difficult situations when they occur. self-worth, a more developed spirituality and a heightened

Still, during difficult times, children need additional support

appreciation for life.

and attention from parents, even as the parents are dealing

•Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence

with the same difficulties themselves.

in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts helps build resilience.

You can help build resilience in your children during times

•Keep things in perspective. Even when facing a painful

of stress or adversity by giving them as much of your time as

event, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader con- you can. When you're with them, encourage communication text and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing it out by listening to their concerns and answering their questions of proportion.

with openness, honesty and reassurance.

•Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try to Article from Military One Source. To view the original visit visualize what you want instead of worrying about what you www.militaryonesource.com. fear. •Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your

Need a quick reminder? Follow us on Twitter @NCNGFAMILY

Don't procrastinate with the school year more than half over, testing in May is just around the corner. If your child is struggling with any subjects, please remember to use Tutor.com (free online tutoring for military children)

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Family Matters February 2014


The Volunteer Training Team (VTT) will be having February 2014 webinar - Volunteer Community Network (VCN) - Effect of Deployment on Service Members and Families. We will have a panel of experts to discuss and answer your questions regarding the effects of deployment. We hope to see you online the first two weeks in February. Session 1 February 4th 10:00 AM -11:00 AM, Eastern https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/921374426 February 6th 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Eastern https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/921374714 Session 2 February 11th 10:00 AM -11:00 AM, Eastern https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/921376698 February 13th 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Eastern https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/921378890 This is a Voice over “Internet” (VoIP) session, please use where possible. Follow prompts post login. Speakers for sound are required & microphone (optional) to participate in the conversation. If you do not have a microphone & want to be able to speak or attend by telephone please use the toll free line:1-877-380-7755 - access code 4665215

2014 NC Pre-K has started Visit http://ncchildcare.dhhs.state.nc.us for your county representative

Updating Your User Profile in JSS During this session, you will learn how to request a change to your state affiliation and role permissions, update your personal information, reset your JSS password and view your JSS History. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time. Thursday February 6, 2014 10:00 – 10:30 AM EST, Eastern Register at (copy the entire link below into your browser) https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistration.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=4e8dc591-fae9-491f-88ab-6cf35a769b81 Communicating in JSS During this session, you will learn how JSS enables you to connect with JSS members through Announcements, Blogs, Forums, E-mail Campaigns, the File Library and Groups. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time. Thursday February 6, 2014 11:00 - 11:30 AM EST, Eastern Register at (copy the entire link below into your browser) https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistration. aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=dd700028-f3c2-4187-a770-3599767cba0c Using the E-mail Campaigns Tool in JSS This webinar shows staff how to use the e-mail campaigns tool, including create an e-mail campaign for the JSS Community or an event, view the e-mail queue and edit or delete a saved draft. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time. Tuesday February 25, 2014 10:00 – 10:30 AM, Eastern Register at (copy the entire link below into your browser) https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistration.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=c76200ef-3e6e-4a9d-968df672672ebb0b Maintaining Unit Information in JSS Keeping unit data current in JSS is critical for a variety of system functions. This webinar shows SFRSAs how to maintain unit information, including step by step instructions for adding, deleting, and editing units in JSS. Please register online. Instructions for connecting to the webinar will be sent via e-mail. Please note, all our webinar times are in Eastern Standard Time. Tuesday February 25, 2014 Noon – 12:30 PM, Eastern Register at (copy the entire link below into your browser) https://www.jointservicessupport.org/Events/KioskRegistration.aspx?Mode=AddNew&Id=24ff4f02-d92e-42ef-b6a1-61af9cc73432 After registering, you will receive a confirmation e-mail containing information about joining the webinar. February 2014 Family Matters 

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Family Assistance Centers Family Assistance Centers are located across the State to provide assistance to ALL Military Service Members and their Families. If you know of a Service Member or Military Family that has a question or concern, please share our contact numbers, web site, newsletter, and Facebook link. We're here to help. Asheville Military Family Resource Center 7 Yorkshire St. Suite 101, 28803/Fax: (828) 274-7209 Rebekah Torres, (828) 274-8571 Charlotte Unit Family Contact Center 4240 West Blvd., 28208/(800) 621-4136 Carry Bandy, FAC Specialist, carry.s.bandy.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 14573 Gabrielle H. O'Flanagan, gabrielle.h.oflanagan.ctr@mail.mil, Ext 14547 Greensboro State Family Assistance Center (SFAC) 110 Franklin Blvd, Greensboro, 27401 (800) 621-4136 Ext.15651 Sandy Harrison, sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil

Statewide Support Personal Financial Counselor Our Personal Financial Counselor can provide FREE one-on-one financial counseling services to you and your Family. Mr. Chip Jurgensen, CFP, NCJFSAP (919) 334-8313 cjurgensen@mflc.zeiders.com

MFLC PROGRAM ~Provides short-term, situational, problem-solving counseling services to Servicemembers and their Families ~Provides psycho-education to help military Servicemembers and their Families understand the impact of stress, deployments, family reunions following deployments and the stresses of military life ~MFLC services augment existing military support services ~Flexible service delivery (Outreach/Rotational and On-Demand); Services can be provided on or off military installations ~Services provided to individuals, couples, families, and groups ~Children’s Support Program addresses military impact on children ~MFLCs are mandated reporters of child abuse, domestic abuse and duty-towarn situations ~Services are otherwise confidential and private

Greenville State Family Assistance Center 1401 N. Memorial Dr., 27834/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 11150 Dawn White, dawn.m.white2.ctr@mail.mil

S​ taff: John Alleman Adult and Family Specialist (919) 745-9635

Lenoir State Family Assistance Center 1535 Beecher Anderson Rd., 28645/ (800) 621-4136 Ext. 11242 Frances Johnson, frances.r.johnson28.ctr@mail.mil

Betty Steelman Youth and Family Specialist (919) 665-9178

Raleigh Unit Family Contact Center 4105 Reedy Creek Rd., Raleigh, NC, 27607/(800) 621-4136 Lisa Faison, lisa.m.faison.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 47100 Mark Woolbright, mark.l.woolbright.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 47102 Raleigh JFHQ Unit Family Contact Center 1636 Gold Star Drive, Raleigh, NC, 27607/800-621-4136 Ext. 46078 Wendi Bell, wendi.h.bell.ctr@mail.mil Bob Bowman, robert.a.bowman1.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 46979 Smithfield Unit Family Contact Center 406 Hospital Rd., 27577/(800) 621-4136 Ext.12784 Abby Millsap, abigail.e.millsap.ctr@mail.mil Southern Pines Unit Family Contact Center 510 W. Morganton Rd., PO Box 1317, 28387/ (800) 621-4136 Ext. 12863 Earlene Capps, earlene.b.capps.ctr@mail.mil, Wilmington Unit Family Contact Center 2412 Infantry Rd., 28405/(800) 621-4136 Jim Marley, james.e.marley.ctr@mail.mil, Ext. 16918 Winston-Salem Unit Family Contact Center 2000 Silas Creek Pkwy., 27103/(800) 621-4136 Ext. 17131 Sandy Harrison, FAC Specialist, sandra.b.harrison2.ctr@mail.mil

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Family Matters February 2014

FAMILY READINESS SUPPORT ASSISTANTS (800) 621-4136 PLUS EXTENSION Charlotte: Nikkie Newsome genesia.k.newsome.ctr@mail.mil Ext.14548

Morrisville: Darlette McCormick darlette.s.mccormick.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 16313

Clinton: Sarah Strickland sarah.r.strickland.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 14735

Oxford: Norman Dean norman.g.dean2.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 12182

Goldsboro: Greg Smith gregory.p.smith14.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 15423

Raleigh: George Lane george.w.lane2.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 46714

Greensboro: Gloria Fields gloria.d.fields.ctr@mail.mil Ext.15620 Jacksonville: Judy Richardson judith.r.richardson.ctr@mail.mil Ext. 11346

Family Matters February 2014  

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