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Festiv

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x40 Yrs experience xFully Insured xSpecial Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 288207 07500 431131

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Hello everyone and a huge welcome to your festive edition of The Fuddler! As always we very much hope you enjoy this issue and please don’t forget to look carefully at all the things our advertisers are saying because there is little doubt that ‘Whatever you

are looking for you’ll find it in The Fuddler!’ From all of us here in Fuddlerland may we take this opportunity to wish you a truly joyous Christmas and a happy and peaceful New Year. Once again, a big thanks to you all for making us so popular.

WHITEHARTAMPTHILL.CO.UK

Tel: 01525 406863

NEED A LOCKSMITH?

DROVERSARMS.EU Fine Indian dining

Please turn to our ad on page 23

Tel: 01525 715 697

Plus - All your plumbing needs

D & G SHORT

FIXED PRICE AERIAL INSTALLATIONS

See our ad on page 29

PRINTING &

COPYING Up to A0

THAI CHILLI RESTAURANT

01234 766819

Tel: 01525 406910 Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all our customers - we look forward to seeing you soon!

Also mailmerge, packing & mailing ASKEW MAILING SERVICES LTD

sales@mailinghouse.co.uk

Your Staples Garden Centre, Fordfield Rd, Millbrook, MK45 2HZ

Telephone 01525 402959 Workshops & Clubs available - please come in for details We stock card making supplies, decoupage, water colour supplies and much more! DMC Silks, Jewellery, beads and findings. Stockists of wool - Robin, Bretts, Get your Peter Pan & Wendy.

JOIN OUR CRAFT CLUB

10% Discount on all purchases. Free tea/coffee voucher for restaurant. Monthly newsletter £12.00 per year

last Xmas Craft stuff!!

Local Carpet

and Upholstery Cleaning Service ‘Providing a Hassle Free service from our professional and friendly cleaners’ All furniture moved and replaced Stain and odour removal Stain Shield protective treatments All work fully insured and guaranteed CALL NOW FOR A FREE NO OBLIGATION QUOTE

01525 862744 / 07999 909982 Email: thecarpetman1@btinternet.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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With Winter now here, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door�.

No window or glazing job too small.

33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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THE BEDFORD ESTATES Woburn, MK17 9PQ

Sharman Law

MULTI SKILLED TRADESPERON

Incorporating Sharman & Trethewy

We are looking for an experienced multi skilled person to complement our small hardworking and dedicated team who provide a first class maintenance service to both internal and external customers. The successful candidate will report to the Maintenance Surveyor and undertake repairs and maintenance works primarily to our hospitality businesses but also be expected to be flexible enough to work on our other properties. We are looking for an individual who has: • Relevant trade experience within building services • Problem solving, planning and organisation skills • Good communications skills • A flexible approach with the ability to undertake on call duties on a rota basis • Experience of working within a hospitality environment

Interested? Please e-mail your CV and covering letter to personnel@woburn.co.uk Should you not have internet access, please call our recruitment line on 01525 290 333 Ext 127. Closing date: 16th December 2010. No agencies please.

We have been asked to publish the following list of Church Services that are taking place over the Christmas period. We hope that you find this helpful.

Christmas Services in Flitwick and Ampthill Ampthill Baptist Church 19th December, 10.45 am – Lighthouse Christmas Service 6.30 pm – Carols by Candlelight Christmas Eve 24th December 11.30 pm – Midnight Communion Service Christmas Day 25th December 10.00 am – Christmas Morning Worship at Ampthill Methodist Church Boxing Day 26th December 10.45 am – Morning Worship Sally Metianu

Ampthill Church of England – St Andrews, St Michael’s Millbrook and St Lawrence Steppingley

Christmas Eve 24th December 3.00 pm – Children's Nativity Service – Ampthill 8.00 pm – Town Carol Service – Ampthill 11.30 pm – Midnight Mass – Steppingley Christmas Day 25th December 8.00 am – Said Holy Communion – Ampthill 9.30 am – Sung Eucharist – Ampthill 11.15 am – Communion – Millbrook Boxing Day 26th December 8.00 am – Said Holy Communion – Ampthill 9.30 am – Sung Eucharist – Ampthill

Ampthill Methodist Church

19th December, 6.00 pm – Joint Carol Service with Flitwick Methodists at Ampthill Methodist Church Christmas Day 25th December 10.00 am – Joint Service with Ampthill Baptists at Ampthill

S O L I C I T O R S

The Solicitors who care for you, your family and your business 88 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone: 01525 750 750 1 Harpur Street, Bedford Telephone: 01234 30 30 30 Email: mail@SharmanLaw.co.uk Website: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk

Methodist Church Boxing Day 26th December No service

Flitwick Catholic Church – Sacred Heart Church (serving Flitwick and Ampthill)

19h December, 7.00 pm – Carol Service Christmas Eve 24th December 6.00 pm – Children’s Mass of Christmas 9.00 pm – Vigil Mass of Christmas Christmas Day 25th December 9.00 am – First Mass of Christmas 11.00 am – Christmas Mass Boxing Day 26th December 11.00 am – Mass 5.00 pm – Latin Mass

Flitwick Church of England – St Peter and St Paul Christmas Eve 24th December Boxing Day morning srevice2.00 pm – Carol service with candlelight (St Peter and St Paul)

4.00 pm – Carol service with candlelight (St Peter and St Paul) 6.00 pm – Carol service with candlelight (St Peter and St Paul) 11.30 pm – Midnight Mass (St Peter and St Paul) Christmas Day 25th December 9.00 am – Holy Communion with carols (St Andrews Church, Windmill Road, Flitwick) 10.30 am – Parish Eucharist with carols (St Peter and St Paul)

Flitwick Methodist Church 19th December 6.00 pm - United Carol service at Ampthill Methodist Church Christmas Eve 24th December 5.00 pm – Family Christmas Eve Communion 11.30 pm – Christmas Eve Communion Service Christmas Day 25th December 10.00 am – Family Christmas morning service Boxing Day 26th December 10.30 am - Boxing Day morning service

Fields of Cabbages A Bedfordshire Tale by Maureen Kerr ‘The 1940s were years of war and austerity. This 400 page book is my grass roots glance at that era. The old house, with its Well and bucket lavatory, has gone, replaced by a modern home. The fields now buried under concrete, bricks and tarmac. A vanished life.’

Price £12.50 inc p&p direct from publisher M. Kerr at the new address: 16 St Serf's Road, Crook of Devon, Kinross KY13 0PQ

Tel: 01577 840369 email: maureenkerr@AOL.com also available on-line from Amazon and other bookstores

AMPTHILL

CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS STUNNING GIFT SETS FROM GREAT PRODUCERS Fantastic gift ideas including beautiful gift sets, gift wrapped wooden boxes plus great deals on wines! Gift wrapped gifts from just £4.99 12 Church Street, Ampthill, MK45 2EH Tel: 01525 405 929 Email: ampthill@cambridgewine.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS I was holding court in a local hostelry with Cedric, Henrietta, Duster and Check-ItOut plus other assembled company, discussing, the latest mobile telephone technology. I felt I ought to announce that I really do not know what I am talking about. So now you don’t know. Merry Christmas.

Ciao

A BRIANISM I’m thinking about getting a pet. A tortoise I think. I don’t want anything too fast at my age.

Safety Continuity PAT Testing Call Paul for a down to earth quote Email: paulholland36@yahoo.co.uk Tel: 01525 716 936 Mob: 07931 935120

Across: 1 Worry, 4 Wails, 10 Auditor, 11 Taboo, 12 Carve, 13 Termini, 15 Acer, 17 Crete, 19 Sense, 22 Need, 25 Compete, 27 Unapt, 29 Lance, 30 Italian, 31, Jetty, 32 Sewer

Down: 2 Odder, 3 Retreat, 5 Actor, 6 Lobbies, 7 Patch, 8 Prate, 9 Movie, 14 Erse, 16 Cent, 18 Romance, 20 Educate, 21 Scalp, 23 Eerie, 24 Atone, 26 Elect, 28 Abide

Times to suit you. 1st assessment FREE 45 mins lessons AGES 6 to 60 For further information contact

Guy on 07811 364 328

Visit our showroom. Over 70 modern and traditional fireplaces and stoves on display.

Wishing all our customers 1, Woburn Street, a Merry Ampthill, Beds Christmas Tel: 01525 841199 and a Happy www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk - Fri: 10am - 5pm New Year Mon Sat: 10am - 4pm Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on


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u r ho p o Y pS to -S king ifts e On ma as G tful gh m i t l s ri De Ch im rH o F

Hockliffe LU7 9LS TEL: 01525 211488 www.ruggedtough.com sales@ruggedtough.com

If you still can’t decide on that perfect gift, we also have gift vouchers

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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JH ELECTRICAL AND PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk

email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk Thanks Marjorie for all your delicious crosswords over the year!

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Across: 1 Wild ox (5) 4 Mistakes (6) 9 Small spore (7) 10 Drive (5) 11 Instead (4) 12 Decayed (7) 13 Howl (3) 14 Church recess (4) 16 Seabird (4) 18 Top card (3) 20 Small cigar (7) 21 Young deer (4) 24 Homeric poem (5) 25 Affable (7) 26 Cruel ruler (6) 27 Nimble (5)

Down: 1 Hasten (6) 2 Cooker (5) 3 Common sense (4) 5 Ponder (8) 6 To odour anag (7) 7 Maroon (6) 8 Small fruit (5) 13 Indebted (8) 15 Foremost (7) 17 Metamorphic rock (6) 18 Map book (5) 19 Determined (6) 22 Saunter (5) 23 Mild argument (4) Have a lovely Christmas! Marjorie

23

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ARAGON WINDOWS Your local specialist in UPVC for:Windows, Doors, Patio Doors and French Doors, Conservatories Fascia, Soffit and Guttering Our windows and doors are 70mm internally glazed for security. All windows are fitted with fire hinges, locking handles, a twin action espagnolette mushroom headed bolt system, and with vent facility. Doors are fitted with claw and mortice lock, and panels are reinforced. Fully compliant with current FENSA Regulations, plus insurance backed guarantee.

CHRIS FREEMAN Tel/Fax 01525 403992 50 Russell Drive Ampthill Beds

R

This has nothing to do with the crossword, but Sandra is still looking up words in her big book (dictionary?). See whether or not the word jumps put at you. (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

A

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Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares xAll makes & designs available x24 Hour repair service xNo call out charge xAll work guaranteed xFree quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

Established in 1990 and built on reputation Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Christmas

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presents

SATURDAY 22nd JANUARY 2011 at 7.00pm The Shawshank Redemption Tickets ÂŁ4.50 each available on the door The Zonita, named after the legendary 1937 Ampthill Picture House, will recreate an old fashioned cinema experience in Parkside Hall. With a children's matinee and an evening programme with a fully licensed bar, Ampthill Community Cinema will bring back the golden days of cinema, with state of the art technology Childrens Matinee at 2.00pm Film to be announced www.zonita.co.uk facebook.com/zonitaampthill Email:zonita@virgin.media.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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RACHEL’S BLINDING

Nik Martin GHSC Registered Counsellor & Hypnotherapist

DESIGNER FABRICS, INTERIOR DESIGN STUNNING CURTAINS & BLINDS

Phobias, anxiety, stress, depression, addictions, confidence, relationship and sleep problems

Evening & Saturday appointments available

Call 01908 760475 www.nik-martin.co.uk 27th December HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH

Mum & Chris (Su-Bo’s Revenge!) xxx

‘Brother Meerkat’ decided this year HE would make t h e C h r i s t m a s cake….’Sis ter–in law Meerkat’ bravely agreed! A recipe was found…. albeit one for a wedding cake but that would be Ok….’cause all the same really!?! Problem was, it was a recipe for a three tiered cake and the recipe was read horizontal instead of vertical and so enough mixture was made to keep the British Army constipated for weeks….and to make matters worse somehow the measurement

x x x

Tel: 01525 635946 Mob: 07944 417342 Samples brought to your home Free estimates Over 20 years experience INDIVIDUAL & PROFESSIONAL

of the flour managed to get trebled!.... DISASTER?.... absolutely not; The goddess ‘CRUMBUVOROUS SLICIST’ met on the cusp and moved into the zodiac p a t h o f ‘INGREDIANTULUM CORRECTIUM’ and all seemed well……Hey Ho everyone….another sip of the brandy…no, no….that was suppose to go into the mixture!....too late…. HAVE A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS and ALL THE BEST FOR THE NEW YEAR……..

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

With Hayley - D.I.

Thank you for bringing back the hare’s sunglasses except they were the wrong ones! Good effort though!

‘I’ll fink of somefink silly to say, that I don’t realise that I’ve said.’


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Registered Member of The British Chiropody and Podiatry Association HPC Registration No. CH17913

THERESE GRAY FSSCh. Dip Pod Med. MBChA. Chiropodist/Podiatrist Surgery By Appointment

Telephone: 01525 841845 Email: therese_777@msn.com SPOIL SOMEONE THIS CHRISTMAS......THE FEET ARE A GOOD PLACE TO START. Corns,ȱcalluses,ȱnails,ȱbunions,ȱverrucae,ȱ footȱhealthȱadvice,ȱshoeȱadvice,ȱhotȱwaxȱ treatments,ȱreflexologyȱandȱoneȱhourȱȱ footȱpamper.ȱȱ

GiftȱVouchersȱavailableȱ ICE Integrated Clinical Excellence 35 Russell Drive Ampthill MK45 2TX When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 10

Servicing Spares Repairs ON ALL MAKES OF CARS, MOTORCYCLES LIGHT COMMERCIALS OLD AND NEW

MOT’S ARRANGED, MOT WORK CARRIED OUT Reasonable Rates

Experienced Mechanic

AT HOME OR WORK Full and part valets, Hand washed and polished Seats and carpets cleaned Call Nigel on 01525 261485 Mobile 07977 605987 email: chris1nigel@yahoo.co.uk

SHIRLEY ROBERTS With Jimmy The Voice

Here’s a Christmas worry! JTV has been building even more impossible things! ...

But has he used four planks of wood to create this or is it just three? We reckon it depends which way you are looking at it ! He has asked us to pass on his very best wishes to all for a delightful Christmas.

By Julio Van Peebles 1) Do cross eyed teachers have trouble controlling their pupils? 2) Who can remember Fry's Five Centres' ? 3) Why do Building society workers always want to talk to you about something you didn't go in for? 4) Why do people from Jamaica call bacon, 'beercan' ? 5) Why are whistles always deemed to be clean ? Julio’s Top Tip: To pub landlords: Try to convince your customers you are not an alcoholic by walking around with a mug of coffee for the first 20 minutes after opening ! If you would like to book an ad in our January edition, please ring Martin on 01525 841434 for all the details!

Many Happy Returns for December 3rd. Lots of love Trevor (B.D.) xxx

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM

THE OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 01525 841508 www.ossoryarms.co.uk Thursday 16th December OSSORY CHRISTMAS PARTY Charity fun casino, buffet and music Champagne and Mulled Wine Wednesday 22nd December Workers’ Christmas Curry 5.30 - 8.30 pm

Thank you for your custom during 2010

CHRISTMAS EVE Open 10.30 til 2.30 for breakfast 12.00 noon til 2.30 main menu Evening Live music with Our Kev NEW YEARS EVE Open 10.30 til 2.30 for breakfast 12.00 noon til 2.30 main menu Evening Fun Charity casino night, music & buffet

OPEN FOR BREAKFAST EVERY DAY THROUGHOUT CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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By professional Masters Musician & Tutor in fully equipped studio near Bedford. Beginners to advanced - all styles

Tel: Jay 07734 450535

The Father Christmas at the store was incredibly surprised when Babs walked up and asked to see him. Normally Santa does not take requests from adults but Babs had smiled so nicely at him he asked her ‘What would you like for Christmas?’ ‘Well, something for my Mother please’ replied Babs. ‘Something for your Mother eh?’ said Santa ‘That’s a very loving and thoughtful gesture - what would you like me to bring her?’ ‘A son-in-law, please.’ said Babs, cleverly.

ALL TYPES OF GROUNDWORK UNDERTAKEN. Driveways, Patios etc. Please call for free quotation

You cannot have too many gowns any more than you can have too many invitations to parties to wear them. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. My friends husband is so silly that he asked for a battery powered battery charger for Christmas. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Sleep with a light bulb under your pillow. By morning you will have had a bright idea. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Sorry I pulled your nose. I thought you were wearing a Halloween mask. Sorry I’m late for work. I’ve been searching for the hero inside myself. If he brings home flowers for no reason - there’s a reason. Rehab is for quitters. How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year. And a very Merry Christmas to you all!

T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

1. When was the earliest collection of Christmas cards published? 2. Who produced the first Charity Christmas card in 1949? 3. When was the greetings card invented? 4. Who sold the first manufactured Christmas tree ornaments in 1880? 5. When did Hallmark introduce their first Christmas Card? 6. Who is the first British Monarch to broadcast a Christmas message to his people? 7. Who declared December 25th as official Christmas in the 4th century? 8. When was the Queen’s Christmas message 1st shown on TV? 9. In 1647 which Puritan leader banned Christmas? 10. Christmas Carolling began as an old English custom called what? 1 1521, 2 Unicef, 3 1830’s, 4 Woolworth, 5 1915, 6 King George V, 7 Pope Julius I, 8 Dec 25th 1957, 9 Oliver Cromwell, 10 Wassailing

DRUM TUITION

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ALL MEATS, POULTRY ETC YOU NEEED FOR XMAS

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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Outlook this month: Watch out for a large jolly man in a red suit

BE-Special LUXURY CHAUFFEUR DRIVEN CARS

Arrive in style and leave safely Relax and enjoy the Season’s festivities with BE-Driven Cars Party bookings now being taken

t: 01908 281788 m: 07836 780088

www.be-drivencars.co.uk

CHRISTMAS FAYRE AVAILABLE ALL THROUGH DECEMBER Daniel’s Christmas menu will soon be available which features a magnificent ‘Three Bird Roast’ as a speciality! Perfect for the smaller gathering! Please ring or pop in for details.

NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY Following the tremendous success of her ‘Hayleyween’ Party, Hayley is back amongst us to organise a fun filled New Year’s Eve party with special guest appearances and lots more surprises! Please ask for details.

CANCER (June 22-July 23) The full stream gallop towards the end of the year is now on! Take care not to overdo things on the financial front. But then its Christmas so why not?

CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) If people make fun of you over the next week or three, they don’t mean to offend - it is really a back handed compliment.

LEO (July 24-August 23) The final month of the year may lead you to carefully examine what your goals and objectives are. Take advice from good friends.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) Try not to let others take advantage of generosity. It may be that all is not as it seems. Best to listen to what others have to say.

VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) Travelling seems to be on the cards for you just now. Are you planning a long trip perhaps? You may well find what you have been looking for.

PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) It may be time to throw caution to the wind and in the new year go for what you really want to do. It could prove an exciting time for you.

LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) Enjoy the forthcoming festivities as without doubt there will ne some knuckling down to be done in the new year.

ARIES (March 21-April 20) Have you achieved all you wanted to over the last year? Perhaps it is now a good time to take stock and go for it in the next few months.

SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) Gather ye teardrops on the way. For surely that is what you are meant to do. Whatever happens, go carefully and avoid men wearing trainers.

TAURUS (April 21-May 21) If everything looks too good about a new project - then it probably is. Think long and hard for making any form of commitment.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) As we start the inexorable slide towards the end of the year, take care not to set yourself unreasonable targets to achieve.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21) There appears to be quite a significant change on the horizon for you. This could well involve an alteration to work patterns.

SUNDAY ROASTS The incredible demand for professional chef Daniel’s Sunday Roasts continues! We have to recommend that you pre-book your table well in advance!

REAL ALES Up to 10 real ales now available!

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY With our resident Quizmaster and his lovely assistant starts at 9.00 pm. Also: Comfortable smoking area with additional heating just installed! 2 bars plus cosy lounge ideal for private conversations, meetings, book clubs etc - pop in and have a look! And a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Richard, Daniel and the team.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 13

I’ve got so much to tell you, I hope you’ve got the time, And of course to make it more interesting, I’ve got to make it rhyme. Some people think it’s easy, but that is just not true, Especially when you’re busy, and have so much to do. As Christmas will soon be upon us and I hear the children cheer, But soon it will be over and it will be another new year. But before it’s all over, Christmas is still a lot of fun, You need to come to Martins and see what we have done. With Christmas displays in the window, with polar bears and snow, And we have many Christmas treats on offer, I thought you would like to know. With sweets to fill your stockings, and two selection packs for, just four pounds, I have heard rumours we have the best deals around. We’ve got gifts, cards, crackers, Christmas wrap, just to name but a few, All out in a nice display, ready for you to view. We also have on sale Cadburys crème eggs and Easter bunnies; Honestly it’s true it’s not Martins trying to be funnies. I would also like to remind you, that you can still have your papers delivered to your door, If you would like more information please pop into our store. From all the staff and myself at Martins we would like to wish you all a happy Christmas, But please don’t leave it to long before you come and see us. MARTINS NEWSAGENTS 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL. 01525 404314

FullyQualified FullyInsured 10yearsSalonExperience

Cuts•Colours•Blowdrys•HairUp Ladies•Gents•Children Inthecomfortofyourownhome LadiesCut&Finish ReͲStyle/LongThick,Cut&Finish Gent Childfrom Blowdry Blowdry/LongThickHair HairͲUp FullHeadFoils LongFoils ½HeadFoils SemiPermanentColour FullHeadPermanentTint RootTint

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FreeConsultationSarahAldous

Call:07917727265or01234768706 Email:sa.creativehair@gmail.com

Dunstable Street Ampthill

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk

CHRISTMAS @ THE ENGINE & TENDER Try our mulled wine throughout December OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY 12.00 - 2.00 Join us to celebrate New Year with our buffet and glass of champagne

Come and have a go on our Prize Board £1.00 a go!

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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BMJ HOME & GARDEN SERVICES

CLOUD NINE

We are an established, reliable trustworthy & a very reasonably priced company.

For DANCES, WEDDINGS, PARTIES, PROMOTIONS, CHILDREN’S PARTIES Etc.

Tel: Joolz or Michael on 01525 211670 Mob: 07871 802815

Professional D.J. / Entertainer

For all those jobs around the house and garden, that you never have time for! NO JOB TOO SMALL

4th December HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELEN!!

Lots of love from ‘The Gang’

DISCO GUY INGLE Ingle Entertainments

Ampthill (01525) 402475

Dear Honourable Fuddler Editor, I do not normally write letters to organs, be it yours or anybody else’s, preferring to leave it to my more erudite husband, Mr Charles Garth. However I must express my profound shock, horror, disappointment and downright disgust that despite a promise “to be continued” the Man in Black not only appears to have vanished from the pages of your august journal but also out of our historic Georgian market town altogether. His story-telling was – as I am sure most, if not all, your readers will agree – literature of the very highest calibre. There were elements of Mickey Spillane, Ernest Hemingway, Kafka, Camus, Jean Paul Sartre and even, at times, Enid Blyton. To be honest, I could never understand a blooming word of it. Yours confusedly (but with all best wishes for Christmas), Clarrie Garth (Mrs), Bedford Street, Ampthill

MEN'S INDOOR UNIHOC MORE PLAYERS WANTED

Beginners welcome Parkside Hall, Ampthill Saturdays 5pm - 6pm Equipment provided Contact Andrew on 01525 759785 for details A very Happy Birthday to Katie for the 25th !!

The Number 1 Ironing and Laundry Service Professional, high quality and friendly service Free delivery and collection Drop-in and collect service available ( Open from 8 am daily )

Optional same day service For further information contact

LOUISE on

01525 841114 Or see our website at www.pressed4time.info

31, Russell Drive, Ampthill MK45 2TX C

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Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

No.1 For Scooters, Stairlifts & Mobility Can’t get to us? Call now to organise a free no pressure home demonstration with one of our friendly sales advisors.

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New and used Scooters, part ex welcome. Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more. For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 16

It’s always good to keep up! Q: In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from? A. When Mary, later Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl (for education & survival), Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot game 'golf.' So he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into 'caddie.' Thanks once more for this pearl of wisdom!?

Which have actually appeared in newspapers

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Page 17

FARMERS MARKETS

The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Saturday of each month at their new home at The Prince of Wales in Bedford Street, Ampthill.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

NANCY MARGARET ROBERTS A very Happy Birthday to you for the 1st December Lots of love from your Son, Daughter in Law, Grandchildren and Great Grand Children

101 TODAY!!

Dunstable Street, Ampthill (Formerly Turners - Next to The Albion) Tel: 01525 630265

CURRENT OPENING TIMES: Monday to Sunday 6 am to 6 pm

OFF LICENCE COMING SOON We are bursting with present ideas and the tools to equip you in the kitchen this Christmas!! …

Ɣ CHRISTMAS HAMPERS Orders are now being taken for hampers either pre -made or for you to fill with the goodies of your choice! A wonderful way for you to spoil your friends and family who have everything?

Ɣ CHRISTMAS DELICATESSEN ORDER FORMS Place your advance order for our scrumptious food goodies, pick the day and we’ll have your selection ready for you to collect - easy!

Licensing Hours will be: Monday to Wednesday 11 am to 6 pm Thursday to Saturday 11 am to 8 pm Sunday 12.00 to 2 pm

We hold the equipment to help you finish the Christmas cake of your dreams! Including cake boards, ribbons, icing, marzipan; edible sprinkles, dusts and silver/gold balls; cake decorations and much more!

We would like to wish all our customers a very Merry Christmas and a brilliant New Year!

Open 7 days a week Mon - Sat 9.00 - 17.30 + Sun 11.00 -17.00!

OFF LICENCE ~ NEWSPAPERS ~ GROCERIES

Ɣ CHRISTMAS CAKE DECORATING

4b Bedford Street, Ampthill

Tel: 01525 402023

‘FOR YOUR EVERY DAY ESSENTIALS’

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Page 18

Kindly sent to us by Mr K. Hoy In my hand I hold a ball White and dimpled, rather small. Oh, how bland it does appear, This harmless looking little sphere. By its size I could not guess, The awesome strength it does possess. But since I fell beneath its spell, I’ve wandered through the fires of hell. My life has not been quite the same, Since I chose to play this stupid game. It rules my mind for hours on end, A fortune it has made me spend. It makes me yell, curse and cry, I hate myself and want to die. It promises a thing called par, If I can hit it straight and far. To master such a tiny ball, Should not be very hard at all. But my desires the ball refuses, And does exactly what it chooses.

TRADITIONALȱFREEHOUSEȱȱ PUBȱȱANDȱRESTAURANTȱ WITHȱLARGEȱPATIOȱGARDEN

ȱ

It hooks, slices, dribbles and dies And disappears before my eyes. Often it will have a whim, To hit a tree or take a swim. With miles of grass on which to land, It finds a tiny patch of sand. Then has me offering up my soul, If only it would find the hole. It’s made me whimper like a pup, And swear that I will give it up. And take to drink to ease my sorrow, But it knows ... I’ll be back tomorrow ... So ... Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls ... A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. Thank you very much for that Mr Hoy and a very Happy Christmas to you!

THE BEDFORD ESTATES

ȱ

NEWȱYEAR’SȱDAYȱ Blowȱtheȱcobwebsȱawayȱ andȱcomeȱandȱjoinȱusȱȱ forȱaȱsumptuousȱȱ LambȱRoastȱ (Fromȱ12.00ȱnoon)ȱ

Woburn Firewood Seasoned ash, oak and beech logs from renewable sources Full load - £125.00 Half load - £70.00 Kindling

- £3.00 (per bag)

Full load approximately 1.5 cubic meters

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ȱ

TheȱGreenȱManȱ ChurchȱEndȱ Eversholtȱ MK17ȱ9DUȱ Telephoneȱ–ȱ01525ȱ288111ȱ Websiteȱwww.greenmaneversholt.com

To place an order or for further information, please contact Diane Willison on 01525 290333 or email diane.willison@woburn.co.uk

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Page 19

THE OLD SUN

Ampthill. Tel: 405466

What’s on at CHRISTMAS 2010 - THROUGHOUT THE CHRISTMAS PERIOD -

MULLED WINE AND OPEN FIRES COME AND WARM UP AT THE OLD SUN - SATURDAY 18TH DECEMBER -

POSH PRESENT WRAPPING HAVE SOMEONE ELSE WRAP YOUR GIFTS AND SIT BACK WITH A DRINK WHILE THEY DO THE WORK! ALL DONATIONS TO GAMBIA PROJECT - SUNDAY 19TH DECEMBER -

CHRISTMAS QUIZ AT 7PM GET YOUR THINKING CAPS ON!! - TUESDAY 21ST DECEMBER -

AN EVENING OF CHRISTMAS CAROLS CONDUCTED BY MR RAFF AND LED BY MEMBERS OF AMPTHILL TOWN BAND - CHRISTMAS EVE -

THE OLD SUN CHRISTMAS PARTY HOUSE SPIRITS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE - CHRISTMAS DAY -

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OPEN 12 - 3 - NEW YEARS EVE -

JOIN US TO SEE IN THE NEW YEAR - FORGET THE COLD HAWAIIAN THEME PARTY - NO TICKET REQUIRED LAIRY SHIRT OPTIONAL FUNCTIONS CATERED FOR PLEASE CALL FOR DETAILS CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER 01525 405466

87 Dunstable Street , Ampthill MK45 2NQ When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 20

THE FIRS GUEST HOUSE & CAFE 85, High Street, Ridgmont, Beds

Tel: 01525 280279 or 288282 www.thefirsatridgmont.co.uk

GREAT VALUE AT THE FIRS! Bed & Breakfast from only £25.00 pppn

CONTRACTORS WELCOME Why not call in for one of our

FAMOUS ALL DAY BREAKFASTS?

Plus … Teas, coffees, sandwiches, rolls and a large selection of home cooked meals at £5.00 or less! Eat in or take away

ROCKET’S GRAND TOUR ON A BMW MOTORCYCLE (copied from his daily journal)

Day 1 18 October 2010 th

Ferry from Dover to Dunkirk is booked for 10am, filled up with petrol last night. (£32-60p) Bit of a miserable dark morning, got to Dover at 905am. Going great until I hit M1. The M25 and M20 were fine, as all motorways should be! Rain stopped at Dartford, now waiting to board ferry, hope I am in right bit. Bike absolutely faultless, knobbly tyres feel

DAB HAND

funny, but seem very tractable and grip road well. As I write this, the sun has just come out, 9-23 am and 138 miles later. Had a Cornish pasty, chocolate pain and tea. A bit of a mixed English and French meal seemed appropriate Bought a puzzle book and road map of France. Ironically the shop on board does not sell pens or pencils, even though they stock sketch pads and puzzle books. Borrowed a pen from a lady behind desk. Bit late docking as a container ship was blocking the harbour. Rode off boat and pulled up 202 miles later at Lille, time

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is 13-46. Now heading down towards Rheims and Dijon. 13-48 fuel getting low, must keep under 70mph to keep economy. Stopped for a break in Rheims at 16-31, 347 miles. (First photo stop) The road from Rheims to Troyes is so vast and barren, reminds me very much of the Cambridge/ Lincolnshire fens, the smell of the hills with their granarys, oats etc reminds me of Jordan’s factory on the Mile Rd in Bedford! Arrived in Troyes, very cold here, so found a hotel for the night. 50 euros plus 4 euros for bike parking, 434 miles. Had a wander round and found a kebab café. Had a

To be continued ....

For a 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206 x Free doorstep

delivery x Luxury Jersey

Cream Tel: 01525 713540 07710 501008

French version of a large Doner- very nice-, loads of these shops, all Indian owned. Cost 5-50 euro with a cola. Took a walk down some back alleys, the buildings are all half timbered. Medieval/Tudor, lovely! Very ancient old place. In hotel now, planning the next leg of my journey. My room is on the main road and I can see two war memorials, one to the fallen of the two world wars and the other to the Algerian conflict, which I don’t know anything about. Probably one of the few wars the British were not involved in. It is now 21-49 and I am going to sleep.

x Organic and Soya Milk

available x Christmas soft drinks and

mixers

Maulden Dairies

‘We really do make the difference’

Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

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Page 21

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Page 22

With Ann, Robin & Son, For your delectation and pleasure, here are some more of those unbelievable answers that contestants have come up with on various game shows. 1) Name something made of lace?........................Embroidery 2) Name a country beginning with S............................Ceylon 3) What is the chemical symbol for water?.................Oxygen 4) What year was the Battle of Hastings?.........................1914 5) What colour are dandelions?......................................White 6) What is the capital of Canada?.....................................Paris 7) Name a part of the body beginning with N..................Knee 8) Name something you keep in the freezer.....................Milk 9) Name a US state which has a coastline....................Mexico 10)What kind of creature is the barbary ape found on Gibraltar?................Err? well it's not a monkey? Err? Sloth !!

If you would like to advertise with us please ring Martin on 01525 841434 to check on space availability.

One of our readers has been good enough to forward these very clever gems to us! Family restaurants Signs: ‘Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays.’ ‘Parking for drive-through customers only.’ ‘We are Handicapped - Friendly. If you are blind, we will read the menu for you.’ ‘Hot drinks to take out or sit in.’ ‘Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.’ Many thanks again!

Beat the credit crunch with Formula One Scooters ORDER NOW TO BEAT THE JANUARY VAT INCREASE! WE NOW HAVE A FULLY EQUIPPED WORKSHOP AND CAN SERVICE AND REPAIR ANY MAKE OF SCOOTER 50 CC TO 125 CC

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T: 0800 707 6003 E: info@airportsdirectmk.com www.airportsdirectmk.com 33 White Alder, Stacey Bushes Milton Keynes, MK12 6HE Company No. 5318754 (England & Wales)

With the price of car-parking, tax and petrol, the ideal vehicle for commuting is a scooter; a years’ tax on a scooter is only £15. Very cheap to insure. At Most rail stations parking for a scooter is free (£6.20 a day for a car), coupled by the fact that you can actually park. The other obvious advantage is that you can get circa 100 miles to a gallon. You can ride a 50 cc at age 16, or if you have a full car licence, just twist and go, no test or ‘L’ plates required. (Providing licence obtained prior to February 2001) September is fast approaching so why don’t you treat yourself to a brand new 60 plate Scooter FROM AS LITTLE AS £750.00 BRAND NEW, TAXED REGISTERED AND ON THE ROAD.

F1 Scooters Unit D, Station Road Business Park, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2QY (Immediately behind Eckart)

0845 313 8400 Ɣ 07961 775420 www.f1scooters.co.uk

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Page 23

Plumbing supplies for the trade and DIY er at discount prices. We will beat any genuine like for like written quote by 10% on all our stock items.

Forget the rest give us a test

Speak to our plumbing expert for advice on your plumbing problems

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Page 24

DOG WALKING ‡'DLO\ZDONVRIIRUW\ILYHPLQXWHV ‡'DLO\ZHHNO\RURFFDVLRQDOO\ ‡6DIHVHJUHJDWHGWUDQVSRUWDWLRQ ‡2IIOHDGZDONVZKHUHSRVVLEOH ‡0D[RIIRXUGRJVSHUZDONHU Excellent socialisation for your dog, peace of mind for you!

PET SITTING 'RJV Â&#x2021;)ULHQGO\GRJVVWD\ZLWKKRVWIDPLOLHV Â&#x2021;$OOGD\FDUHDQGVDIHJDUGHQ Â&#x2021;<RXSURYLGHEHGIRRGWR\VHWF Â&#x2021;:HSURYLGHWZRZDONVSHUGD\

&DWV Â&#x2021;6WD\LQRZQKRPHHQYLURQPHQW Â&#x2021;2QHRUWZRYLVLWVSHUGD\ Â&#x2021;/HWRXWLQOLWWHUFKDQJHGDQGIHG Â&#x2021;Âś3XUUIHFW¡DOWHUQDWLYHWRDFDWWHU\

With Kerf Headcap Kerfâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been out and about again finding more silly words and their new dictionary definitions: ADULT- A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR - A place where women curl up and dye. CHICKENS - The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE - A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST - Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST - Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. HANDKERCHIEF - Cold Storage. INFLATION - Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO - An insect that makes you like flies better. POLITICAL CORRECTNESS - A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority. RAISIN - Grape with a sunburn. SECRET - Something you tell to one person at a time. TOOTHACHE - The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW - One of the greatest labour saving devices of today. YAWN - An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES - Something other people have....similar to my character lines. And thank you very much - things are a lot clearer now!

6PDOOSHWV Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds, rats & ferrets are welcome in our home! Â&#x2021;&DJHVKXWFKHVIRRG EHGGLQJFROOHFWHG Â&#x2021;)HHGLQJSHWWLQJDQGH[HUFLVHJLYHQ

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TRAINING CENTRE: SMART Motorcycle Training, Redborne School, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2NU


Page 25

ORDER NOW AND BEAT THE VAT INCREASE!

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Page 26

The Wingfield Club Ltd. C.I.U. Affiliated 37 Church Street, Ampthill, Beds 01525 403321 (Bar) 01525 841736 (Office)

DISCOS FOR ALL OCCASIONS For The Very Best Disco Around All The Latest Chart Sounds Great Giveaway Prizes Receptions For ALL Occasions Very Competitive Prices

Tel: Micky or Joolz on 01525 211670 U-teka-da-ronga-boats (From last month) West Sicily July 1972

Meeting rooms & Large Lounge for hire Free WiFi

PLUS

£2.70

£2.45

£2.70

£2.90

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The basement of the house was an enormous water cistern but the water was no good for photographic processing so I used to drive to Peligrino’s winery in Marsala some 12 miles south and get distilled water, I learned to say “scusi, posso avere venti litro di aqua distilato per photographia , io lavoro soto la mare, expeditione archeologica.” It worked mainly because they had probably been warned that an ignorant Inglasie would be asking for distilled water. The expedition was funded through a number of mechanisms, (none of my business, I know nothing), but one local gentleman took a great interest in the project, I am not sure if he gave money but he found “things” that were useful, like the 18kW diesel generator plus workmen to install it in a purpose built shed! I rediscovered said generator two years ago on the nearby island of Mothia.

£2.70 Generator being installed, prior to shed being built round it. It appears that I am trying to push it into position! ( white shorts on left)

£2.80

WINES A fine selection of wines in 187 ml bottles all at £2.50 each KAREOKE Every second Saturday of the month BINGO Every Thursday evening LIVE ENTERTAINMENT See noticeboard inside bar area

There were few cars in that part of Sicily with British number plates, in fact we never saw one that did not belong to the team, until one day while driving through Marsala we saw a VW Beetle with UK plates, this resulted in a bit of a celebration back at the site, catching up with news from England etc. The following morning, I was awakened along with several of my team mates, all with a slightly thick head, to the shouts from our leader, Honor Frost, to get up and pay attention. All our boats had gone in the night, I cannot remember if this included the biggest boat that was hired from a local fisherman who came with it, (he also supplied 20

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

litre bottles of white wine every few days, I use the term “wine” loosely!). Anyway, the RIBs and inflatable boats where gone plus their outboards! I think the histrionics where therapy rather than a solution to the problem, unless it was hoped that one of us had hidden the boats in a tent! What followed was quite spectacular. The “gentleman patron” to the expedition was Signor Pilari, he spoke little English in my presence but I would not be surprised to learn that he spoke several languages fluently, He was always dressed immaculately with a camel hair coat over his shoulders and two large gentlemen walking just behind him in dark suits; if this was done today, they would have had curly white wires behind their ears! The man visited our site during the day following the theft. We immediately had two Caribinieri guards at night and for some of the day time AND all the boats came back within two days. The theory / rumour that spread was that the boats had been stolen by bad people who used them to do drug runs to North Africa, and that our benefactor had spies who would have found this out and known how to reverse the situation, i.e. get the boats back There is no doubt that Signor Pilari was an influential man and I have to say I felt safer knowing he was on our side. Sadly, Honor Frost died in September this year (2010) and while we were back in Sicily last month, stories of her contribution to the historic wealth of the city of Marsala was all over the news papers Her obituary only appeared recently in the Guardian on the 26 Oct. I have been fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time to meet many people and experience made special things, the problem is that on this and many other occasions, I did not realise that I was so fortunate at the time! Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPA With kind permission of Jim Barr


Page 27

Heater & 13kg Bottle of gas from only £94.99

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 28

x x x x x x x

Extensions Conservatories & Windows Kitchens & Bathrooms Fencing Patios Electrical

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Building Preservation Specialists x

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Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@jrobb65.fsnet.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

An annual reunion

. . . In Arthur’s World Met up with an old mate of mine in Ampthill a couple of weeks ago. I was thoroughly enjoying the Granddad’s obligatory round of school Xmas fetes. What a roaring success they were, lots of fun, lots of quality stuff on sale and lot’s of cash raised for worthy causes. That’s what the season is all about ! ! Down at Russell Lower, for the littlest one’s bash, a Yo Ho Ho type voice roared “Hi Arthur – how are you doing old friend”. I could well have done without the personal reference to “old” but there over my shoulder was one of my best mates, Santa

Claus alias Father Christmas. Now he is old – and he’s got the hairstyle to prove it. We go back nearly 75 years, Santa and me – I’ve almost grown up with him. We started off on a Xmas Eve drinking warm milk together. Gradually progressed to bitter shandy and then a sly sherry all served with my mam’s best mince pies. Age and circumstance has projected us to savouring a rather good single malt together on a Xmas Eve and, as it should be, with the inevitable mince pie. “What are you doing down from Lapland this early” I queried. “Thought I’d get myself out and about doing a bit of market research” he replied. What? – you mean a Maori Poll type thing” I asked

“Aye – something like that” he replied. But I did need to see the kids of Ampthill and surrounds before the big event. They like it and I enjoy it Anyway it transpires that the MOT on Rudolph’s Sleigh is up for renewal and a couple of new reindeer are unsure of the route – so they did a dummy run. The undercarriage and flaps on the sleigh will need some adjusting before the MOT. Need them correcting to get under the Christmas Lights and into some of the darker corners of Ampthill. He borrowed my mobile to check on production schedules back at Lapland HQ “All going well” he said “aim to get everything on the sleigh on time with everybody happy on Christmas morning”. He made quite a few little kids

very happy that afternoon – it was a joy to see. I went outside to give Rudolph and his mates a bucket of water and some raw carrots for tea to set them on their way before it got dark. - Santa had left the headlights at home ! ! “Don’t do that with my present” I said as he clambered on board. “and don’t forget the Single Malt - it’s your turn to pay this year !” “Stingy blighter – typical of a Geordie” he replied.

“See you in a few weeks” honked Rudolph. Then with a massive Yo Ho Ho and a big Santa smile and a wave to the happy faces of Ampthill, they were on their way via the MOT Station What a guy, what a mate ! !

OSTEOPATH Help for painful musculoskeletal conditions ŀ Back

ŀ Neck ŀ Shoulder

ŀ Other muscle & joint pain

Tel: 01525 405759 The clinic is in Ampthill town centre, and you are most welcome to contact me for further advice about osteopathy, and whether it could help you. www.osteo-pathway.co.uk 1 Kings Arms Yard (off Church St) Ampthill MK45 2PJ

A full range of original and compatible ink cartridges and toners Paper, Envelopes, Pens, Binders etc All at Competitive Prices

FIND US AT Unit 1, 101 Ampthill Road Flitwick Bedfordshire MK45 1BE (Behind the Shell Garage)

tel: 01525 633336 www.businesspoint.uk.com Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 29

With Lauren Louella Boughalls

Congratulations to Mr Bailey and everyone else who correctly identified last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poser as the Clophill lock-up dating from the 19th Century. This building can be found at the back of the green. Now for this month: I have been out and about with Algi and came across this delightful clock. Where may one find it?

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering. Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering:

Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating. With female finesse to make the most of your home Answers by email to martin@thefuddler.com or on a postcard to The Fuddler, PO Box 756 Ampthill Bedford MK45 2WZ Answer next month!

Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 30

MATTHEW UNDERWOOD PLUMBING & HEATING Based in Flitwick

xALL PLUMBING WORK UNDERTAKEN xBATHROOM INSTALLATION / REPAIR xCENTRAL HEATING INSTALLATION / REPAIR xPOWER FLUSHING xGUTTERING xBLOCKED DRAINS PLEASE CALL: 07768 962770 email: mattunderwood@me.com Website: www.mattunderwoodplumbing.co.uk

Here we bring you more from the whimsical world of Montgolfier:

I went to the Doctor’s and he asked me what was wrong. I said that I had got a big lump on my back. He asked me to take my coat off so that he could have a look. Then he asked: ‘When did you leave school?’ I asked him why. He said ‘Well, I think I just found your satchel.’ Did you know that men always wore boots until shoes came out around the time of World War 1. Shoes didn’t really catch on for a while and they were called ‘Tea Drinkers’. Also when men’s wristwatches first came out they didn’t sell very well as they were considered to be women’s jewellery. What is a Pugil? Well it is to do with snuff. If you use your thumb and one finger to take snuff, that is a pinch of snuff. If you use your thumb and two fingers that a pugil of snuff. Did you know that Church Sunday schools were started so that parents got an hour of privacy? Well, that’s all for this year! But a very merry Christmas and a Happy New year to you all.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 31

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS Carpentry Kitchens - Bedrooms Home Offices - Bathrooms Replacement Kitchen Doors Worktops and Built in Appliances A complete design, supply and installation service

01525 405393 ans. phone Mobile: 07889 058345

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUTER SPACE

Naiad Spotted flittering around Bungay!

At least I get a tree to peep round! But who am I? I am an actress appearing on your television sets in a hugely popular American TV series.

Happy days udprhgsuvsuihv (Gary)

You’ll find the answer at the foot of the page.

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Robin Tunney from The Mentalist

Christmas Cheer Just to let my reader know that my school work is now all done and in the January edition of this tome the second and exciting concluding instalment of the French adventure will appear. May I take this opportunity to wish you, the reader of this column and all the other Fuddler readers a very happy festive period.

Hello, I am from a far distant planet some 30million light years from earth, my name is udprhgsuvsuihv, but most people call me Gary! I come to Earth at this time to visit your Christmas customs and festivities. I have with me a small machine which enables me to speak and write in your language otherwise commnication would be impossible. Occasionally this device does tend to play up a bit and does not splog a lom a bop a twom your language properly, Whoops! there it goes again! We find some of your Christmas customs a bit splom a gog a pom, especially the song, the 12splom a bots of Christmas. Oh dear, my machine is not good today, I think it needs a good pol a spok clean. Going back to your Christmas, I mean what is the point of singing splom a splom a pop bop shog a twob in a pear tree? Oh dear this is getting very splop splop annoying!! I think I will stop now and wish everyone on Earth a very happy Christmas and a spop splop a spom new year. Oh dear! Oh dear! What am I going to do with this spop pop tom a gom ...dy thing !!!


Page 32

Ladies

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Please call in and see our new and exciting range of Christmas Gifts!

Prices subject to availability Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

The Fuddler December 2010  

A free, lighthearted publication from Ampthill, UK

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