Sith Academy Ep. 1
Written By Nate Womack
Based on, The "Star Wars" Series
INT: FOOD COURT 1: Hey! Darth Fatty, Get your food. 504: Ah, But do I want Jawa Stew? Or Wamp Rat burgers? 1: (sarcastic ) Oh, you love them all so much, why don't you get both? 504:Funny. You and the sith order deserve each other. 1: I would marry the idea. But alas, she's found another 504: whom? 1: (angrily)the emperor. 504: So, you'd have an affair with it? 1: I would try. 504: nice..My Womp rat is undercooked.I like them well done. (Electrocutes it) (they sit down and start eating) 504: so, how'd that date with that alien gi1: She died. 504:How did1: I killed her. 504: Why?! 1: She touched my lightsaber...and I wasn't going out with a girl with a disfigured hand. 504: so you killed her. 1: It was mercy. 504: Sweet. (Announcement: THE TRIALS START NEXT WEEK. EVERY STUDENT MUST ATTEND) 1:(inner monologue) The plot is moving way faster than I'm paid for. 504: (unnoticed). hey...number 1...hey 1:(inter monoologue) At this rate,My scenes'll be done long before my lifetime magazine subscription is up.I gotta do something. 504: HEY! STOP IT. 1: Agreed.(Kills a student) NO ONE NOTICES. 1: (inner monologue) No one noticed Terry's death..or..was it Steve..WHO CARES? HE'S DEAD!(Begins audible laughing as character)Awww, that's funny, What were you saying? 504: The Trials? They were supposed to be our senior year. 1: Moved em' up.Looks like we get our names a couple years early,eh? 504: Oh crap. (fade out) INT: HALLWAY 1: Afraid your Sith Name is gonna suck? 504: Whaddya' mean?.
1: You could get something stupid like Darth TaunTaun or Lord Papshmear or something. 504:I'm just happy i can get rid of 504. 1: Well, I cant say I dislike being Number One. 504: Well, you aren't number one. You're just called number one. The REAL number one died when you came to the academy. 1:It doesn't matter how I got it. I'm the best. 504: Arrogant Shmuck. 1: Feels Good to be number one. (fade out)
EXT. CHAMBER Elder: So, As you know, the trials will begin soon. 504: (whispering franticly to 1) Here it comes. Elder:This year we have decided to take a more traditional approach to the trial, all students, NOT JUST SENIORS, are required to compete. As you know, A fifth of the student body will...survive.That fifth will receive the illustrious honor of gaining the title of Sith Apprentice. This will allow you to recieve a Sith Title. and Lose Your numberical value. Of course, it's still burnt into you so..(chuckle) You'll be keeping it until you become one with the terrain. The others ..Lets just say they'll be passing their numbers down.. 504: Oh joy. 1: Don't worry. You COULD just be maimed. 504: Wonderful.
Published on Jul 24, 2012