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CHILDHOOD STEPHEN W NOT FACELESS

MyStoryUK “everybody has a story to tell”

YouTube RecoveryChannelUK


MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

POEMS CHILDHOOD 3 ITS THE WEEKEND 4 WHEN YOUR PAIN 7 OH HOW HUMBLE 8 SEEING 9 BE TRUE 10 LIKE A LITTLE CHILD 12 DEAR LORD JESUS 15

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

CHILDHOOD IF ONLY I COULD TURN THE CLOCK BACK PLEASE COULD I HAVE A HUG OR A KISS INSTEAD OF A SMACK. WHAT KIND OF A PERSON WOULD I HAVE BEEN IF MY “PARENTS” HAD LET ME BE HEARD AND SEEN. THE CONSTANT BEING TOLD THAT YOU’RE NOT WORTH MUCH MADE ME WISH TO ESCAPE FROM MYSELF TO LOOK FOR AN EMOTIONLESS CRUTCH. ALWAYS BEING TOLD YOU’RE NOT WORTH A DAMN STOPPED ME FROM GROWING INTO A NORMAL MAN. MY PARENTS, WHO SHOWED NO LOVE TO EACH OTHER OR ME I NOW KNOW SHAPED PART OF MY DESTINY. SO WHEN THEY DIED, NO FEELINGS NOR A TEAR I WAS ALMOST HAPPY THEY WERE NO LONGER HERE. BUT LIFE CAN CHANGE, THERE IS NO DOUBT, IF YOU CALL TO THE ONE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

IT’S THE WEEKEND IT’S THE WEEKEND, ONCE AGAIN IT’S PARTY TIME SO LET’S GET WASTED, WE WILL BE FINE. YOU SAY TO YOURSELF, “I AM SO STRONG THAT I CAN’T SINK.” WELL MAYBE IT’S TIME YOU STOPPED TO HAVE A THINK. WHEN YOU DO THE DRUGS AND THE BOOZE DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU HAVE NOWT TO LOOSE? OR HAVE YOU ON SOME MONDAYS WHEN YOU WAKE UP FEELING LOW SAID TOO YOURSELF, “I WILL HAVE A LITTLE PICK UP TO GET ON THE GO.” THEN THERE WILL BE OTHER TIMES WHEN LIFE GOES WRONG SO YOU SAY TO YOURSELF, “I WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO HELP ME ALONG.”

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

BUT I MUST SAY TO YOU, “PLEASE TAKE CARE.” THERE ARE COUNTLESS REASONS TO USE, EVERYWHERE. IT’S ALL TOO EASY TO END UP USING EVERYDAY. THEN YOU WILL FIND MAYBE YOUR TRUE SELF HAS SLIPPED AWAY. YOU MAY END UP LIKE ONE OF THOSE WHO USED TO GET UP YOUR NOSE. TO OTHERS WILL YOU BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO SAY, “I WAS LIKE YOU BEFORE MY LIFE I LET SLIP AWAY.” FOR NOW I AM A POOR LOST BROKEN FOOL WHO ONCE USED TO THINK I WAS OH SO STRONG AND COOL. SO TAKE HEED OF WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, ANYDAY.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

MY PAST

SORTED

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

WHEN YOUR PAIN . . . . . WHEN YOUR PAIN SEEMS TOO MUCH TO BEAR YOU MUST GIVE IT UP TO THE ONE WHO IS ALWAYS THERE. SO IF SOMEBODY SAYS TO YOU, “WITH MY HURT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.” JUST SAY TO THEM WHAT YOU KNOW IS TRUE, “THE LORD ABOVE WILL BE THERE FOR YOU.” TELL THEM THAT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW THEY FEEL SO HERE IS A PARABLE TO MAKE IT MORE REAL. WHEN YOU HAVE TOOTHACHE, IT’S THE WORST IN THE WORLD EXCEPT OF COURSE WHEN I HAVE MINE. THEN WE TURN TO A DENTIST TO MAKE AS FINE. SO TO CURE THE PAINS WE HAVE INSIDE JUST GO AND GIVE IT TO OUR LORD WHO DIED.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

OH HOW HUMBLE OH HOW HUMBLE IT IS TO SHARE THE GRACE OF OUR LORD ABOVE WHEN HE SENDS US OUT TO MEET NEW PEOPLE TO SHOW HIS MIGHTY LOVE. FOR EVEN IF HIS WORK WILL FOR US NEVER END TO SHOW TO OTHER PEOPLE THEIR ONE AND ONLY TRUE FRIEND. THAT IN GIVING YOUR HEART TO OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST TO FIND TRUE PEACE IS NOT A GREAT SACRIFICE. TO BE SAVED FROM A LIFE OF DOUBT AND SIN THEN WALK ANEW AND BETTER NEXT TO HIM. TO ALL WHO DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAY I WAS ONCE A PERSON WHO HAD GONE ASTRAY. IT NOW IS GREAT TO BE BACK IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING TO STOP BEING A TAKER, AND NOW START GIVING.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

SEEING  

IF YOU UNDERSTAND OR IF YOU DON’T, IF YOU BELIEVE OR IF YOU DOUBT, THE UNIVERSAL EYES OF OUR LOVING LORD GOD ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU.

TEA BREAK

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

BE TRUE BE TRUE TO YOURSELF SAY HOW YOU FEEL. YOU’RE NEVER SMALL WHEN YOU ARE HUMBLE, YOU ARE NOT BEING BIG WHEN YOU’RE BRAVE. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN’T DO, SO DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE WEAK, DON’T BE PROUD TO FEEL STRONG. JUST LOOK INTO YOUR HEARTS MY FRIENDS, THEN YOU CAN RETURN TO YOUR SELF. INSIDE EVERY STONE, A CRYSTAL LIES HIDDEN. INSIDE A PIECE OF COAL IS A DIAMOND. SO YOUR TEARS CAN WASH AWAY PAIN. THEREFORE LAUGHTER WILL HELP RESTORE YOUR SOUL. SO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF THEN OTHERS WILL LOVE YOU TOO.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

MY HOME INSIDE

MY HOME OUTSIDE

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

LIKE A LITTLE CHILD LIKE A LITTLE CHILD I FEEL WEAK, VERY SMALL AND SCARED SO I MUST GIVE THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO SHOW THEY CARED. SOME HAVE SAID IT’S GREAT TO SEE THE STRENGTH THAT IS IN ME BUT I THINK SOMETIMES THAT’S NOT FAIR AS IT’S MY PAIN, SO JUST LET ME BE. THEN OTHER TIMES I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY SAY EVEN WHEN THE SEARING AGONY I HAVE, WON’T GO AWAY. IN THE TIMES WHEN IT’S TOO MUCH TO BEAR MY FEARS, ANGER OR SADNESS WITH OTHERS I DO SHARE. BUT IN THIS TIME OF STRUGGLE WHEN I FEAR I’M GOING TO FALL I JUST TRY TO FOCUS ON THE ONE WHO SUFFERED MOST OF ALL. THE PAIN HE SUFFERED FOR US MUST HAVE BEEN SO UNREAL THOUGH THE AGONY I HAVE DOESN’T COMPARE, IT’S MY PAIN THAT I FEEL. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT I SHOULD GIVE THANKS FOR JUST BEING ALIVE, AT THE MOMENT IN TIME I FIND IT SO HARD DAY BY DAY TO SURVIVE. I HAVE SOMETIMES TOYED WITH IDEAS ON HOW TO BRING IT TO A END THEN MAYBE MEET UP WITH MY ONE TRUE FRIEND.

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

BUT! WHAT WOULD YOU ALL, AND HIM, THINK OF ME IF I GAVE UP ALL THE THINGS I’VE GAINED SO GRATEFULLY. IT’S TEMPTING TO LET GO AND SLIDE LIKE THE GUTLESS ONE WHO USED TO HIDE. LIKE THE LIMEHOUSE LINK MY TUNNEL TWISTS AND TURNS BUT I KNOW THAT AT THE END THE LIGHT STILL BURNS. EVEN IF THE ROAD GOES LEFT OR RIGHT AT THE END IT IS ALWAYS SHINING BRIGHT. ITS RADIANCE IS FOR YOU AND ALSO FOR ME THE LIGHT WILL BE THERE ALL ETERNITY. SO GIVE THANKS AND DO NOT DOUBT THAT THE FLAME OF LOVE AND HOPE WON’T GO OUT. SO WHEN DARKNESS CLOSES IN ON YOU THE POWER OF THE LIGHT OF LOVE AND TRUTH IS STILL THERE FOR YOU. FOR THE BEACON OF HOPE WILL LEAD US ON TO THE PLACE WHERE WE ALL DO BELONG. SO ALL TRUE ROADS WILL LEAD TO THE NEW CITY GATE WHERE AT OUR JOURNEYS END WE WILL CONGREGATE. 13


MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

OLD HORRORS

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

DEAR LORD JESUS “DEAR LORD JESUS LIKE THE SUN ABOVE, YOUR LOVE HAS WARMED MY HEART AND SOUL. I ALSO LOVE THE FEEL OF RAIN UPON MY SKIN AS IT MAKES ME CLEAN AND GROW. THEN THERE IS YOUR WIND IN THE TREES WHICH SHOWS ME WHEN TO BE STRONG AS AN OAK, OR WHEN TO BEND LIKE THE WILLOW. I THANK YOU FOR BOTH DAY AND NIGHT WHICH HELP SHOW ME THE PATHS OF WRONG AND RIGHT. BLESS YOU FOR THE ROAD OF A RIVER AND THE WHISPER OF THE STREAM TO HELP ME BE CALM WHEN I WISH TO SCREAM. THANK YOU FOR THE SCENT OF FLOWERS AND A SONG OF A BIRD THAT BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE TO NOTICE FELT ABSURD. FOR THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY OR A RAINBOW BRIGHT THAT IN ALL THESE THINGS I SEE YOUR POWER AND MIGHT. SO IF I FEEL THAT I MAY BE LOST AND AFRAID IN A STORM I KNOW LORD THAT YOU ARE THERE TO KEEP ME SAFE AND WARM.”

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

Published by MyStoryUK Poems by Stephen 2006/07/08 (❨Charity Shop)❩ interview and photos SimonB design RodB the Spitalfields Crypt Trust www.sct.org.uk and the New Hanbury Project 020 7613 5636 3 Calvert Avenue London E2 7JP paper December 2008 online ISSUU November 2012 RecoveryChannelUK@gmail.com

WORKMATE & SCOOBY DO

lots of short films on YouTube RecoveryChannelUK online books at ISSUU MyStoryUK

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

Feel free to share these heartwarming poems with your family and friends. For paper copies please contact Spitalfields Crypt Trust Janice Taylor 020 7613 5677 janice.taylor@sct.org.uk 116 - 118 Shoreditch High Street London E1 6JN.

More productions by MyStoryUK Simon Bradbury “THROW AWAY THAT SUICIDE BAG” “Whilst doing these drawings a lot of ‘stuff’ has arisen within me, stuff which I’m happy to say, even though rather hard to handle, is all part of the road towards recovery.” see a Simon animation “Glass gotta go” on YouTube RecoveryChannelUK

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MyStoryUK StephenW “CHILDHOOD”

Dash MUCH MORE THAN THAT N THAT A H T E R O M H C MU

My father was a black American Indian, he’s a Navaho. My mother was a British born Jewish woman. But I myself was actually raised by white British people in Ipswich, Suffolk. Drink is my primary . . . what do they call it? . . . “The drug of your choice.”

DASH

MyStoryUK “everybody has a story to tell”

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GaryT “Remembering”

MyStoryUK

“And when I get out of prison, I want to be somebody, somewhere, doing things I have never done. I don’t know what yet.” Personal Poems with quirky illustrations.

“everybody has a story to tell”

YouTube RecoveryChannelUK

Remembering

GaryT

MyStoryUK “everybody has a story to tell”

YouTube RecoveryChannelUK 18


MyStoryUK Stephen W "CHILDHOOD"