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AFFIRMATIVE INTROSPECTION KNOWING WHAT MAKES ME TICK

e/i/d/i Emotional Intelligence & Diversity


TABLE OF CONTENTS Knowing What Makes Me Tick A 3-Step Model for Developing Introspection What’s Inside My Bag The Range of Emotions

1 2 3 5

Being Comfortable In My Own Skin Recognizing the Both/And Nature in Me How Comfortable Are You?

6 7 9

Knowing My Own Biases and Hot Buttons Hot Buttons How Open-minded Can You Be in Dealing With Your Biases

Copyright 2005 Emotional Intelligence and Diversity Institute ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of the contents of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form. For information purchasing this book contact:

E/ I/D/I Emotional Intelligence & Diversity Institute 12658 W. Washington Blvd.., Suite 105 Los Angeles , CA 90066 w.w.w. EIDI-Results.org

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KNOWING WHAT MAKES ME TICK The past isn’t dead, it isn’t even the past. William Faulkner


A 3-STEP MODEL FOR DEVELOPING INTROSPECTION Directions: Reect on your life in the past year and identify an important positive or negative event in each of the two parts of your life: school life and family life. Use this chart below to think and write about the event. This activity will help increase your insight and deepen your understanding of the experiences.

THE EVENT (WHAT HAPPENED)

SCHOOL LIFE

FAMILY LIFE

1.Describe the Importance/Relevance of the event Why does it matter? 2.Consider the Impact What are the ripples it created? What differences did it make?

3.Identify the Feelings* How did you feel? *You may use the list of emotions on page 4 to help you identify and communicate what you feel.

YOU CAN USE THIS MODEL TO DEEPEN YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHERS TOO!

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WHAT’S INSIDE MY BAG? Think about your life and how you interact with people. What do others know about you? What do you keep inside and thereby, keep from people? Directions: Get a brown paper bag, magazines, scissors and some glue. Look through the magazines for pictures which represent qualities or behaviors that symbolize what you show to others and then do the following two steps: Step 1: Cut the pictures out and paste them on the outside of the bag. Step 2: Find pictures that you know about yourself, but that you keep private. Cut them out and just place those inside the bag. Use this to look inside yourself and see what you are keeping private.

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WHAT’S INSIDE MY BAG? INSIGHT! What are some feelings you experienced by putting your bag together, and then by sharing your bag with others?

What do you risk when you show your inner-self to others?

How do you benefit when you show your inner self to others?

What do you gain by learning about the contents of someone else’s bag?

ACTION! Write the name of one person you know with whom you would like to share this activity so that you can know more about him/her and he/she could know more about you.

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THE RANGE OF EMOTIONS LOVE affectionate close compassionate devoted grateful passionate soft tender warm HURT despairing devastated distressed heartbroken isolated offended pained suffering tortured PHYSICAL SENSATIONS alive apathetic broken calm empty hard hurt nauseated numb paralyzed repulsed sluggish tired weak

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SADNESS choked up depressed disappointed discontented at gloomy heavy-hearted melancholy moody sorrowful unhappy weepy EAGERNESS eager excited inspired motivated ANGER annoyed bitter cross frustrated furious irritated jealous offended SHAME degraded disgraced embarrassed humiliated inferior sorry useless worthless

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HAPPINESS carefree cheerful contented delighted ecstatic giddy glad grateful hilarious joyous playful sparkling thrilled CONFUSION doubtful hesitant mixed-up skeptical suspicious torn FEAR alarmed cautious fearful insecure nervous panicked shaky terriďŹ ed threatened worried


BEING COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN We can travel the world over but we take ourselves with us. Ralph Waldo Emerson


RECOGNIZING THE BOTH/AND IN ME Directions: From the list below, select two personal characteristics with which you are comfortable because they work well for you when you interact with others. Indicate these with an MC (Most Comfortable) on the lines provided. Then select two characteristics that you are not comfortable with because they do not work well for you in your personal interactions. Label those NC (Not Comfortable) on the line provided. Personality Characteristics

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____Idealistic

____Self-doubting

____Skeptical

____Optimistic

____Shy

____Flexible

____Sensitive

____Abrasive

____Trusting

____Accepting

____Indecisive

____Adventurous

____Supportive

____Selfish

____Disciplined

____Impractical

____Spontaneous

____Confident

____Imaginative

____Practical

____Ambitious

____Passive

____Detail-oriented

____Organized

____Unrealistic

____Loyal

____Confident

____Enthusiastic

____Controlling

____Outgoing

____Reliable

____Intuitive

____Charismatic

____Artistic

____Stubborn

____Cooperative

____Industrious

____Independent

____Even-tempered

____Logical

____Open-minded

____Private

____Empathetic

____Focused

____Adaptable

____Impulsive

____Argumentative

____Friendly

____Humorous

____Obedient

____Close-minded

____Energetic

____Compassionate

____Decisive

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RECOGNIZING THE BOTH/AND IN ME INSIGHT! What are the beneďŹ ts you get from one of your most comfortable characteristics?

What is the downside of one of your most comfortable characteristics?

What do you gain from one of the your uncomfortable characteristics?

What do you lose from your most uncomfortable characteristic?

How do these characteristics help/hinder you at school?

ACTION! What characteristics will you like to add or delete in order to increase your comfort with yourself? ADD

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DELETE

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HOW COMFORTABLE ARE YOU? Directions: EIn each of the 8 areas below, rate your level of comfort with these aspects of yourself. Circle the dot that most accurately expresses that degree of comfort or discomfort.

UNCOMFORTABLE 1. How I look 2. My social skills 3. My decision making abilities 4. Being around people who are not like me 5. My willingness to learn 6. My ability to deal with stress and disappointment 7. My ability to deal with rejection 8. My willingness to show my feelings

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COMFORTABLE


HOW COMFORTABLE ARE YOU? INSIGHT! In what areas would you like to increase your comfort?

What can you do to make this happen?

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KNOWING MY OWN BIASES AND HOT BUTTONS The life that is unexamined is not worth living. S贸crates


HOT BUTTONS Directions: Each person has certain “hot buttons” that can trigger conflict and anger. These hot buttons may take the form of direct or indirect comments, jokes, and statements. On the lines below, list the behaviors of others that are annoying, irritating, and enraging. In each category, identify one school situation and one home/ family situation.

AT SCHOOL

AT HOME

Friends, teachers, principal, classmates

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Parents, brothers, sisters, extended family

BUGGED

BUGGED

MAD

MAD

READY TO EXPLODE

READY TO EXPLODE

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HOT BUTTONS INSIGHT! Which of these hot buttons, if any, have caused problems for you?

Which of your behaviors is a hot button for others? If you don’t know, how will you ďŹ nd out?

ACTION! One thing I will do to take my hot button response from red to yellow is ...

I will learn the hot buttons of these three people I deal with: A family member

A peer

A teacher

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HOW OPEN-MINDED CAN YOU BE IN DEALING WITH YOUR BIASES? Directions: Look at each of the three examples listed below. Imagine that you are going through the stated experiences. Then answer the questions about how you would feel and what you would do in each case. Family Relationships Your mother tells you not to hang out with someone because he/she is not a “good influence on you.” How would you feel?

What would you do?

Peer Relationships Your peers in the cafeteria tell racial jokes and use ethnic slurs and jokes about other groups. How would you feel?

¿Qué harías?

Your Choice of Situation Write your own example of a problem in which you have encountered bias. How would you feel?

What would you do?

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HOW OPEN-MINDED CAN YOU BE IN DEALING WITH YOUR BIASES? INSIGHT! When have you been the target of prejudice or bias?

When have you been biased in your opinion or dealings with family or peers?

When do your biases/prejudices surface? (Example: when I’m tired or depressed; when I don’t have the resources I need.)

ACTION! Once I become aware of my biases, I will manage them by ...

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Affirmative Introspection  

Knowing What Makes Me Tick

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