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♥Letters to Aphrodite, Goddess of Love ♥ Dear Aphrodite, My life is terrible. I am so very confused. My husband Zeus has eaten me, and I do not know what to do now. Should I stay with him or get a divorce? I’m terribly torn between the two choices. Sincerely, Metis, the Goddess of Wisdom

Dear Metis, Well I think that you should suck it up. Obviously Zeus loves you because you’re still alive. Look at the bright side. Now you can always be with him! With Love, Aphrodite

Dear Aphrodite, I have a huge dilemma. Yesterday I ate my wife. I was frightened that she was going to give birth to a son that would eventually kill me. Now she is just trapped in my stomach. Also, I think I might be falling in love with someone else. For some strange reason I have the worst headache too. What should I do? Thanks, Zeus

Dear Zeus, This whole situation is your own fault. Stop complaining about eating your wife. Look on the bright side. Now you can flirt and date as much as you want to. It is time for you to move on. Marry someone else have a couple of kids. As for the headache, I’m the goddess of love, not medicine. With Love, Aphrodite

Dear Aphrodite, I don’t even know where to begin. Well first of all, I’ve been shot with one of cupid’s arrows. The woman I love doesn’t; love me back! Now what? Sincerely, Hermes

Dear Hermes, Give up. She does not want you. She does not love you. On to the next one kiddo. With Love, Aphrodite

Letters to Aphrodite  

Dear Metis, Well I think that you should suck it up. Obviously Zeus loves you because you’re still alive. Look at the bright side. Now you c...

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