Between the Lines libretto

Libretto Vocal Book

Music & Lyrics by

Book by

Elyssa Samsel & Kate Anderson

Timothy Allen McDonald

Based on the novel “Between the Lines” written by Jodi Picoult and Samantha van Leer.

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Book Copyright © 2017 Timothy Allen McDonald Music and Lyrics Copyright © 2017 Elyssa Samsel and Kate Anderson All rights reserved.

(Last Revised—October 2023)

M USIC A L N U M B E R S Act 1 1.

Another Chapter................................................................................................ 1

1A.

Ms. Winx Underscore.. ....................................................................................... 7

1B.

To Delilah’s House. . ......................................................................................... 12

2.

Between The Lines........................................................................................... 16

2A.

After Between The Lines . . ................................................................................ 21

2B.

The Guard Plays Piano.................................................................................... 24

3.

Happily Ever After Hour. . ............................................................................... 26

3A.

Book Opening. . ................................................................................................. 32

4.

When I’m Talkin’ to Oliver. . ............................................................................ 35

5.

Mr. Darcy and Me............................................................................................ 38

5A.

Mr. Darcy Tag.................................................................................................. 40

5B.

Book Opening. . ................................................................................................. 41

6.

Inner Thoughts................................................................................................. 43

6A.

Waffles for Dinner.. .......................................................................................... 51

7.

Start Again Tomorrow..................................................................................... 53

7A.

Start Again Playoff. . ......................................................................................... 55

8.

In My Perfect World.. ....................................................................................... 57

8A.

Perfect Playoff.................................................................................................. 62

9.

Crazy Chemistry.............................................................................................. 64

9A.

After Chemistry.. .............................................................................................. 70

9B.

Rapskullio’s Lair.............................................................................................. 75

10.

Butterflies......................................................................................................... 76

10A. Delilah’s Room................................................................................................. 78 11.

I’m Not Through.............................................................................................. 80

12.

A Whole New Story......................................................................................... 85

—i—

Act II 12A. Entr’acte. . .......................................................................................................... 89 13.

Best Day Ever................................................................................................... 89

14.

In My Perfect World (Reprise)........................................................................ 96

15.

Do It For You. . .................................................................................................. 99

15A. Do It For You Tag . . ......................................................................................... 107 16.

Butterflies Reprise. . ........................................................................................ 108

17.

Something to Hold On To. . ............................................................................ 110

17A. Something Ballet............................................................................................ 111 18.

Leaps and Bounds.......................................................................................... 113

18A. Book Opening. . ............................................................................................... 116 18B.

Something to Hold On To (Reprise). . ............................................................ 117

19.

Out of Character . . ........................................................................................... 119

19A. Out of Character (Playoff)............................................................................. 121 20.

Inner Thoughts (Reprise). . ............................................................................. 123

21.

Allie McAndrews........................................................................................... 127

22.

From Allie to Jessamyn. . ................................................................................ 132

22A. Into Jessamyn’s House................................................................................... 135 23.

Can’t Get ‘Em Out. . ........................................................................................ 136

23A. Between The Lines (Reprise)......................................................................... 143 24.

Finale Part 1.. .................................................................................................. 148

24A. Finale Part 2.. .................................................................................................. 151 24B.

Finale Part 3.. .................................................................................................. 157

25.

Bows.. .............................................................................................................. 159

—ii—

Between The Lines

— 1 —

ACT 1 PROLOGUE: DELILAH’S RENTAL HOUSE AND NEW SCHOOL

An empty stage save for what appears to be a page ripped from a book hanging overhead which reads “Some stories start with once upon a time. Some start with long, long ago.

My story starts here.”

#1 —A not he r C ha p t e r

DELILAH (V.O.) Some stories start with once upon a time. Some start with long, long ago. My story starts here.

DELILAH enters carrying a moving box filled with books.

DELILAH WHEN YOUR WORLD HAS CAVED AND IT CAN’T BE SAVED IT’S LIKE YOU’RE SWIMMING AGAINST THE TIDE WHEN THE DAD YOU KNEW UP AND LEAVES YOU TOO YOU WANNA TOTALLY RUN AND HIDE STUCK WITH A MOM WHO FORGETS I’M HERE

DELILAH’S mom, GRACE enters as a bed and kitchen table, stacked with moving boxes, tracks onstage.

WOMEN (O.S.) OOH, OOH

DELILAH LATELY IT SEEMS I COULD DISAPPEAR

MEN (O.S.) OOH, OOH

DELILAH removes books from the moving box, greeting each one like an old friend.

DELILAH AND SO I READ ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER SO I CAN BE MILES AWAY

— 2 —

Between The Lines

(DELILAH) AND IF I READ ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER AT LEAST I CAN GET THROUGH TODAY

GRACE hurriedly bags DELILAH’s lunch. She’s late for work.

LIFE’S NOTHING’S LIKE IT WAS BEFORE BUT IT’S NOTHING THAT I CAN’T IGNORE AS LONG AS THERE’S ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER WORLD TO EXPLORE

(narrating) Dad checked out, leaving me and mom for a yoga instructor. Namaste. We moved to this place.

(with an ambivalent shrug) Mom cleans the houses of the kids I go to school with and takes classes at night.

GRACE crosses, exiting.

GRACE I’m late for work, your lunch is on the table.

DELILAH (narrating) That’s probably the most meaningful interaction we’ll have today. No wonder I lose myself in books. However, I’ve been a bit embarrassed by my latest choice of reading material. When I read Dostoevsky, I was weird but smart. When I read comic books, I was weird but hip. But when I started reading a fairytale written for elementary school kids, suddenly I was just…

ALLIE, on crutches, enters with her boyfriend RYAN.

ALLIE & RYAN Trash.

DELILAH (narrating) That’s Allie McAndrews, the overlord of my new school. Think—Putin in Prada. Oh, and her Neanderthal boyfriend, Ryan. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s back up.

Between The Lines

— 3 —

TRANSITION TO THE LIBRARY

DELILAH crosses to a library cart full of books.

DELILAH What’s the worst time in your life to start over in a new school? Junior year. The social pyramid is already set, and people know who’s at the top of the food chain, and who’s at the bottom. And then there’s me. I’m so low in the pecking order I might as well be underground. So while everyone is hanging out with their friends, I’m eating lunch alone in the library with all zero of mine. That’s when I spotted this…

(holds the book up; reads the cover) Between the Lines by Jessamyn Jacobs.

(pages through the book) I opened it randomly to page 43, where Prince Oliver is climbing the tower to rescue Princess Seraphima.

DELILAH opens page 43: an illustration (tableau 1) of PRINCE OLIVER appears. He is climbing a steep cliff. His muscles flex as he strains to reach the top. He is, in a word, gorgeous.

Don’t judge me. Take a look at that and tell me he isn’t hot.

WELL THAT PRINCE YOU SEE HE’S A LOT LIKE ME HIS DAD IS TOTALLY GONE FOR GOOD

ENSEMBLE (taking selfies) TOTALLY GONE FOR GOOD

DELILAH AND THAT VERY FIRST WEEK I WENT ON SUCH A STREAK THAT I MEMORIZED EV’RY WORD

ENSEMBLE (reacting to a post on their phones) MEMORIZED EV’RY WORD

DELILAH SOMETIMES IT’S NICE JUST TO EMPATHIZE ALSO, THOSE TIGHTS REALLY FLAUNT HIS THIGHS

DELILAH closes the book.

— 4 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH SO I READ ANOTHER CHAPTER

ENSEMBLE HOO

ANOTHER CHAPTER WHERE OLIVER’S BRAVE AND KIND AND THEN I READ ANOTHER CHAPTER

HOO, HOO

ANOTHER CHAPTER IT HELPS TO DISTRACT MY MIND DON’T CARE IF I’M OUT OF PLACE

HOO HA HA HA

DON’T CARE IF I’M A WASTE OF SPACE

HA HA HA

AS LONG AS THERE’S ANOTHER CHAPTER

HA HA HOO

ANOTHER CHAPTER THEN NO ONE CAN SEE MY FACE

HOO

DELILAH closes the book. (narrating) Then there’s this part where Oliver is trying to rescue the Princess, but the evil Rapskullio sends his dragon to kill him. Oliver dodges the flames but falls off a cliff into the ocean.

Which is basically a metaphor for my life.

DELILAH opens the book revealing an illustration of PRINCE OLIVER falling (tableau 2).

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE

OOH

I’M FALLING

SOMETIMES I FEEL

I’M FALLING

LIKE I FALL

I’M FALLING I’M FALLING LIKE YOU

OOH

EV’RTHING’S MOVING WAY TOO FAST

OOH—EV’RTHING’S MOVING

AND IT’S PASSING ME

WAY TOO FAST

PASSING ME PASSING ME BY I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING

OOH

TO HOLD ON TO

I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING

DELILAH closes the book, the illustration fades from view.

Between The Lines

— 5 —

DELILAH LIKE YOU

ENSEMBLE LIKE YOU

DELILAH & ENSEMBLE WOMEN LIKE YOU

ENSEMBLE LIKE YOU

And here’s my favorite part:

DELILAH opens the book to an illustration of MERMAIDS, saving PRINCE OLIVER from drowning (tableau 3). (reading) “Just as Prince Oliver was about to drown, beautiful mermaids appeared, kissing him back to life... ” Um? Yes, please.

DELILAH snaps the book shut and the illustration fades from view.

So here I am, thirty days into my junior year, obsessed with a fairytale. Even I’d swipe left.

(decision made) It’s time to return this book.

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

TIME TO GIVE IT UP

OOOOH

GET OVER IT

HA HA HA

STOP BEING SUCH A NERD

HA

I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS

OOH

I’VE GOT TO QUIT

HA HA HA

TRY TO BLEND INTO THE HERD

HA

DELILAH WHEN DID MY LIFE GET SO ABSURD?

DELILAH BUT I DON’T NEED ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER TAKING ME MILES AWAY

ENSEMBLE HOO

— 6 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

WON’T TRY TO READ ANOTHER CHAPTER

HOO HOO

ANOTHER CHAPTER I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH TODAY ONE DAY I’LL BE OUTTA HERE

ONE DAY I’LL BE OUTTA HERE

IT’S REALLY ONLY ONE MORE YEAR

IT’S REALLY ONLY ONE MORE YEAR

TELL ME THERE’S ANOTHER CHAPTER

HOO

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF LIFE BEYOND HIGH SCHOOL FEAR

HOO

MS. WINX, the librarian, enters.

DELILAH Ms. Winx, I’d like to return this book.

(MS. WINX takes the book) But I didn’t.

(MS. WINX returns the book; time reverses) I had to take just one last peek. I opened the book to page 59, the wedding of Prince Oliver and Princess Seraphima on Ever After Beach.

DELILAH opens the book to page 59. The fairytale characters have assembled for the wedding of PRINCE OLIVER and PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (tableau 4). PRINCE OLIVER scrawls the word “help” on the page.

That’s when the word “help” appeared on the page.

(looking up from the book) That was never there before.

I THINK I NEED ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER I HAVE TO SEE WHAT THIS COULD BE I NEED TO READ ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER ‘CAUSE MAYBE HE’S WRITING TO ME?

(shuts book)

Between The Lines

DELILAH

— 7 —

ENSEMBLE

WHAT ELSE WILL THE STORY SHOW?

AH

IF THERE’S MORE I’VE GOTTA KNOW

AH AH

I THINK I’VE GOT A—

A—

—NOTHER CHAPTER, ANOTHER CHAPTER

—NOTHER CHAPTER, ANOTHER CHAPTER

ANOTHER CHAPTER, ANOTHER CHAPTER

ANOTHER CHAPTER, ANOTHER CHAPTER

ANOTHER CHAPTER TO

HOO

GO

AH HOO

DELILAH opens the book.

#1 A — M s . W i nx U n d e r s c o r e

— 8 —

Between The Lines

ACT 1 SCENE 1: SCHOOL LIBRARY

JULES, a nonbinary Goth badass, grabs a book from the library cart. ALLIE, still on crutches, enters with RYAN.

RYAN Babe, I’m gonna miss you, babe.

ALLIE MCANDREWS I’m gonna miss you too, babe.

RYAN Promise, babe, you’ll text me, babe?

ALLIE MCANDREWS 24/7, babe.

RYAN and ALLIE start making out.

JANICE and MARTIN enter.

JANICE is a ultra-competitive jock, dressed in athletic gear, who aspires to be a life coach/influencer… yet is somehow never as influential as ALLIE. MARTIN is ALLIE’S social media manager, running all her accounts and making sure she approves all posts before they are live on the Internet.

JULES (to RYAN) Really? You’re just going to third period. It’s not like you’re being deployed.

ALLIE MCANDREWS (to JULES) I’m sorry… What are you today? He, she or it?

JULES If you need to use a label, I prefer libertine or reprobate. Maybe pariah.

(RYAN looks blankly at JULES) Just Google ‘em.

Between The Lines

ALLIE MCANDREWS (pointing at DELILAH with her crutch) Delilah. Mc. Phee!

DELILAH (narrating) You remember Allie.

(gestures to ALLIE’s knee brace) Day one: PE. Softball. I lose control of the bat.

ALLIE MCANDREWS (reacting with horror) Owwwww!!!

RYAN Babe, you okay, babe?

MARTIN takes a pic of ALLIE, her face contorted, and posts it on social media.

MARTIN And… done! Posted!

JANICE Without a filter? She’s gonna kill you.

MARTIN Trust me. Sympathy gets likes.

The STUDENTS’ phones ding with notifications; they all look at their phones.

DELILAH Martin was right. Allie became a meme, and my life became a dumpster fire.

ALLIE MCANDREWS (points two fingers at her eyes then DELILAH) I’m watching you.

— 9 —

— 10 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH (to ALLIE) Allie, I’m sorry. It was a mistake.

JULES (glancing up) The only mistake you made was not breaking both her knees.

ALLIE MCANDREWS Get a life!

JULES Get a condom.

MS. WINX enters.

MS. WINX Allie! Get to class!

RYAN, ALLIE, MARTIN and JANICE exit. (gesturing to ALLIE as she exits) Now that’s one child I’d like to see left behind.

(to DELILAH) Delilah, have you met Jules? I think they have a lot in common with you…

DELILAH God, I hope not…

JULES (sarcastic) Nice to meet you too!

JULES exits.

DELILAH (calling after JULES) No… I meant for your sake.

Between The Lines

— 11 —

MS. WINX (sarcastically) That went well.

(taking a book from DELILAH) Ahh, The Great Gatsby. What did you think?

DELILAH Bloated, with an unreliable narrator. It’s basically a telenovela for the one percent.

MS. WINX (laughing) Wow, that’s some Michiko Kakutani-level criticism: Incisive with a heavy dose of snark.

Tell me again, why you aren’t in creative writing club?

DELILAH Because I’m not creative and I’m not a writer?

MS. WINX Yet.

(taking the fairytale from her) Ahhh… Between the Lines. The author, Jessamyn Jacobs, self-published a single copy. I found it at a yard sale and thought we just had to have it.

MS. WINX opens the book to page 43. PRINCE OLIVER appears scaling the tower wall (tableau 1). (referring to the illustration) Mmm… Good for you, Delilah. Protagonist candy.

(flipping through the pages of the book) Blah blah goblin, blah blah dragon… Ooh!

MS. WINX lands on page 48. PRINCE OLIVER and the evil villain RAPSKULLIO are engaged in a sword fight (tableau 5). (reading the book out loud) “Oliver dodged the evil Rapskullio’s sword. ‘You knew my father?’ (speaking as RAPSKULLIO) ‘Correction, Prince Oliver. I killed your father. Mwahahahahahahaha!’”

— 12 —

Between The Lines

MS. WINX closes the book, tableau 5 fades from view.

(MS. WINX) I’m a big fan of Jessamyn Jacobs, but wouldn’t you rather read one of her books for adults?

#1 B — To D e l i l a h ’ s H o u s e MS. WINX exits. The transition to DELILAH’s kitchen begins.

DELILAH (narrating) Ms. Winx was right. But the book had changed right before my eyes. Either I had a ministroke, or a fairytale prince just sent me an SOS.

Between The Lines

— 13 —

ACT 1 SCENE 2: DELILAH’S RENTAL HOUSE

DELILAH So of course, the moment I got home…

DELILAH opens the book to page 59, the illustration of PRINCE OLIVER and PRINCESS SERAPHIMA’s wedding on Ever After Beach (tableau 4). The word “help” is no longer on the page.

The word “help” was gone.

(with a shrug) Huh. Mini-stroke.

(DELILAH closes the book) I had to figure this out. So I turned to page one to see if anything else had changed.

DELILAH opens the book to page 1. QUEEN MAUREEN in mourning, is revealed sobbing over the dead king (Tableau 6). (reading) “At the very moment Prince Oliver was born, his father died. Queen Maureen became a shell of her former self, and Prince Oliver grew up in a castle full of silence and grief.”

(realizing her suroundings are just like Queen Maureen’s) Yeah.

(narrating) That is… until…

DELILAH closes the book, the tableau fades from view. A PROCESS SERVER enters carrying legal papers.

PROCESS SERVER Are you Grace McPhee?

DELILAH No. I’m her daughter-

PROCESS SERVER (offering a clipboard and pen) Sign here, please.

(DELILAH signs returns clipboard and pen)

— 14 —

Between The Lines

(PROCESS SERVER) You’ve been served. Make sure your mom gets this.

PROCESS SERVER hands DELILAH a copy of what she’s signed.

DELILAH (reading) Final eviction?!

(searches for her phone) No no no no no no no…

(narrating) My dad is supposed to be paying our rent.

(dials dad) Pick up, pick up…

(voice mail beep) Hey dad, it’s me again. They’re gonna kick us out of the house. We really need your help.

I need your help. Mom’s not here, so it’s safe to call back. Please call.

DELILAH ends the call.

GRACE enters with a whirlwind of activity, carrying a sweater.

GRACE Look! I swung by Goodwill and struck gold!

(gesturing with the sweater) Alexander McQueen. And it’s your size.

DELILAH That’s great, but—

GRACE Here.

(tosses DELILAH the sweater) I’m already late for class; I just came home to change.

DELILAH Mom, focus—

Between The Lines

— 15 —

GRACE (crossing away not hearing her) Missy McAndrews made me stay an extra hour, cleaning the shower grout with a toothbrush.

(stops; gesturing to DELILAH) But, then again, you did break her daughter’s knee.

(shudders) Ugh. Thank God I’m not a live-in maid.

DELILAH You might want to reconsider that.

DELILAH hands GRACE the eviction notice.

GRACE Jesus, Delilah! When were you going to tell me?!

DELILAH I did. Last week when the landlord called. But as usual, you weren’t listening.

GRACE No no no no no… this is not happening—

DELILAH’s cell phone RINGS; she answers.

DELILAH Hi, Dad.

GRACE Give that to me.

(grabs phone from DELILAH) You haven’t paid our rent?! I don’t care what your lawyer said, you agreed to cover the bills until the divorce was final.

(listens to DAD speaking) I’m sorry?! What part of me working all day and going to nursing school at night isn’t trying?

(listens to his response) You son of a—

— 16 —

Between The Lines

During this exchange, DELILAH escapes to her bedroom.

DELILAH (interrupting GRACE with narration) I thought when he moved out, the fighting would stop. I was wrong.

#2 —B e t w e e n t h e L i n e s (crossing to bedroom window) So I climb out my window and escape to the roof, where I can’t hear them fighting, and the walls of my room aren’t closing in.

LIFE’S WEIRD SEVENTEEN’S WEIRDER AND I’M STUCK I’M STUCK! FOR ONE MORE YEAR SO I NEED A PLACE TO GET AWAY ESCAPE WITH WOOLF OR HEMINGWAY OKAY—FINE. I KNOW THAT IT’S RISKY BUT OUT HERE OUT HERE, MY MIND IS CLEAR ‘TIL I FIXATE ON THIS FAIRYTALE THAT’S LIKE HASHTAG EPIC FAIL BUT BETWEEN THE LINES THERE’S A PLACE WHERE I FEEL FREE AND THE WORLD IS SOMEHOW QUIET WHEN IT’S JUST THE MOON AND ME. AND THERE’S A GUY WHO I RELATE TO. SOMEONE I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETWEEN THE LINES THAT’S WHERE I WANT TO GO.

I wish you were real.

DELILAH opens the book to page 43, PRINCE OLIVER enters.

Between The Lines

PRINCE OLIVER (singing) HELLO!!!

DELILAH Ahhhhh!

DELILAH snaps the book shut. PRINCE OLIVER exits. DELILAH examines the book, turning it, shaking it, looking for a chord or input of any kind. She opens the book again to page 43.

PRINCE OLIVER (singing) HELLO!

DELILAH closes the book, PRINCE OLIVER exits. DELILAH opens it; PRINCE OLIVER enters.

HELLO!

DELILAH closes the book, PRINCE OLIVER exits. DELILAH opens it; PRINCE OLIVER enters.

Hi.

DELILAH This isn’t happening.

DELILAH starts to close the book.

PRINCE OLIVER (panicking that she’ll close the book) Please don’t shut the book! Did you see my message?

DELILAH On page 59?

PRINCE OLIVER She noticed.

(PRINCE OLIVER gestures “yes!”)

She noticed! Let me explain—

— 17 —

— 18 —

Between The Lines

(PRINCE OLIVER) I PLAY A PRINCE AND I WEAR TIGHT TIGHTS I’M SCARED OF DRAGONS, TROLLS ABNORMAL MOLES AND HIGH HEIGHTS BUT IT’S MY JOB TO SAVE THE PRINCESS SO I DO IT WELL I HAVE TO TELL THE TALE I HAVE A SWORD I’VE NEVER USED IT ONE TIME I TRIED, I HIT MY BOTTOM AND I BRUISED IT I USE MY BRAIN TO BEAT THE VILLAIN THE STORY NEEDS HEROIC LEADS LIKE ME BUT BETWEEN THE LINES I DON’T HAVE TO ACT THE PART SO I LIVE FOR ALL THE MOMENTS BEFORE I’M RIGHT BACK AT THE START IF I COULD LEAVE THESE PAGES I’D SAY WHAT I TRULY FEEL BETWEEN THE LINES THAT’S WHERE MY LIFE IS REAL

DELILAH BOOKS DON’T TALK

You didn’t talk before—

PRINCE OLIVER PLEASE! WON’T YOU LISTEN YOUR HEAD’S SO BIG AND MY, YOUR EYES OH! HOW THEY GLISTEN! THE OTHER HEADS, THEY WERE MUCH SMALLER…

DELILAH THANKS?

Between The Lines

— 19 —

PRINCE OLIVER THAT’S WHY I NOTICED YOU IT’S QUITE A LOVELY VIEW!

DELILAH NOPE.

(slamming the book closed) Good, Delilah. Now you’re imagining a fictional character is flirting with you. This is a low point, even for you. You’re going to open the book and he’s not gonna talk.

DELILAH cautiously opens the book.

PRINCE OLIVER PLEASE! DON’T SHUT ME OUT!

DELILAH OH, MY GOD!

PRINCE OLIVER DON’T TRAP ME IN!

DELILAH I’M FULL ON CRAZY!

PRINCE OLIVER ‘CAUSE YOU CAN HEAR ME RIGHT? YOU CAN HEAR ME RIGHT?

(sincerely) CAN YOU HEAR ME?

DELILAH UM, YES… ?

PRINCE OLIVER (excited) THEN DON’T SHUT ME OUT!!

DELILAH SORRY!

PRINCE OLIVER ‘CAUSE THIS MEANS I’M REAL

— 20 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH THIS CAN’T BE REAL!

PRINCE OLIVER AND THIS IS SPLENDID, RIGHT? THIS IS SPLENDID, RIGHT?

DELILAH THIS IS SPLENDID.

Wait! I’ve read hundreds of books and this has never happened before.

PRINCE OLIVER I’m not like most characters. Everyone here seems happy living the lives that have been written for them. I’d give anything to change my story.

DELILAH Me, too.

PRINCE OLIVER See! Look how much we already have in common.

IT MUST BE LOVELY THERE

DELILAH I’D RATHER LIVE A FAIRY TALE

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH NO ONE HERE CAN UNDERSTAND ME

PRINCE OLIVER I’VE ALWAYS FELT ISOLATED

DELILAH ALWAYS FELT UNDERRATED

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH NOW I’M ELATED TO FIND THAT BETWEEN THE LINES THERE’S A WAY WE CAN CONNECT I’VE ALWAYS FELT THIS BOOK WAS DIFF’RENT BUT IT’S NOT WHAT YOU’D EXPECT AND IT’S LIKE I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN YOU MORE THAN BEGINNING TO END

Between The Lines

DELILLAH

— 21 —

PRINCE OLIVER

BUT BETWEEN THE LINES

BETWEEN THE LINES

I THINK I FOUND

I THINK I FOUND

A FRIEND

A FRIEND

Why did the—

Tell me what—

PRINCE OLIVER Sorry—

DELILAH You go.

PRINCE OLIVER No, you.

DELILAH I have a million questions—

PRINCE OLIVER So do I!

DELILAH Like… how is this happening?

PRINCE OLIVER (joyous) I don’t know. I don’t care!

(intently) Tell me, which page are you on?

DELILAH 43.

PRINCE OLIVER No, that’s where I am. Where are you?

— 22 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH I’m on my roof.

PRINCE OLIVER Yes, but which page?

DELILAH It’s… it’s not like that here.

PRINCE OLIVER So no one’s writing your story?

DELILAH (to the Universe) If someone’s writing this, they have a sick sense of humor. They keep changing the plot.

PRINCE OLIVER For me, nothing ever changes.

DELILAH Not true! The word “help” disappeared from the page.

PRINCE OLIVER That’s because I added it. But every time someone opens the book, it resets.

DELILAH So it’s magic?

PRINCE OLIVER No! It’s ridiculous. Who’d believe a story like this? Trolls, mermaids, love at first sight?

DELILAH It’s fantasy. You read it to take a break from reality.

PRINCE OLIVER Whose reality? It feels bloody authentic when I drown and get stabbed over and over again. Just because it’s fiction doesn’t mean it’s not real.

DELILAH I never thought of it like that. I’m so sorry.

Between The Lines

— 23 —

PRINCE OLIVER Don’t be. If you hadn’t read the story, I would never have met you.

#2 A — A f t e r B e t w e e n t h e L i n e s

DELILAH Okay, this is probably the result of some sort of stress related sleep disorder, and I’ve got school in the morning… so I should probably—

PRINCE OLIVER Meet me here tomorrow? Page 43? It’s the only page in the book where I’m alone.

DELILAH Oh, I know.

DELILAH starts to close the book.

PRINCE OLIVER Wait! What’s your name?

DELILAH It’s Delilah. Delilah McPhee.

PRINCE OLIVER Call me Ollie.

DELILAH Okay. Good night… Ollie.

PRINCE OLIVER Sleep well… Delilah McPhee.

DELILAH closes the book as Oliver EXITS. Transition from the roof to Delilah’s bedroom. DELILAH sits on her bed.

DELILAH I THINK I’LL READ ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER AND HOPE IT’S NOT ALL IN MY HEAD I NEED TO READ ANOTHER CHAPTER

— 24 —

Between The Lines

(DELILAH) ANOTHER CHAPTER ‘CAUSE MAYBE IT’S REAL, LIKE HE SAID…

DELILAH falls sleep. Lights fade. FRUMP enters, sniffing suspiciously.

FRUMP Book closed everyone!

#2 B — The G u a r d P l a y s P i a n o With the book closed the fairytale characters are free to be whomever they wish. They gather post-work, at their favorite watering hole.

Between The Lines

— 25 —

ACT 1 SCENE 3: BOOK CLOSED AT THE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

RAPSKULLIO, TROLL, ONDINE (MERPERSON), LADY-IN-WAITING, and FAIRY enter.

QUEEN MAUREEN Book open, book closed. I’m too old for this bullshit.

LADY-IN-WAITING Tell me about it. Try having hot flashes for eternity.

QUEEN MAUREEN Lady-in-waiting?? I need a drink.

LADY-IN-WAITING And I need a name.

(shurgging at her character’s name which isn’t a name at all) “Lady-in-waiting?”

(stream of consciousness to QUEEN MAUREEN) You know, it’s funny. I’ve always felt like a Stephanie.

QUEEN MAUREEN Stephanie? Where’d you get that name?

LADY-IN-WAITING The acknowledgments. Interesting story… apparently she was—

QUEEN MAUREEN (interrupting; shutting her down) I’ve lost interest. Holy Jessamyn Jacobs! Whose sword do I have to polish to get a drink around here?

RAPSKULLIO tends bar, while FRUMP crosses to the piano.

FRUMP Well, Your Majesty, lucky for you—

FRUMP plays an arpeggio on the piano with a flourish.

— 26 —

Between The Lines

#3 —H a p p i l i y Ev e r A f t e r H a p p y H o u r

(FRUMP) IT’S HAPPILY EVER AFTER HOUR THE TIME TO LEAVE YOUR CARES BEHIND THE WORK DAY’S THROUGH, THERE’S NOTHIN’ TO DO WE’RE DONE WITH THE DAILY GRIND!

Take it, Maureen!

QUEEN MAUREEN IT’S HAPPILY EVER AFTER HOUR SO FILL ME UP WHILE THE COAST IS CLEAR REMEMBER THE BOOK WAS ONCE LEFT AJAR AND I WAS SOBER FOR A YEAR??!

ALL (ad lib remembering that terrible year) OH WE’RE HAPPY IT’S AFTER HOURS OH WE’RE HAPPY IT’S AFTER HOURS

QUEEN MAUREEN (to FRUMP) Dog! Fetch me another drink.

FRUMP I’ve told you a million times! I’m not a dog! In chapter one, I’m a guy. Until I’m cursed…

(to RAPSKULLIO) By you. The villain.

RAPSKULLIO Sorry Frump—I only do what the author wrote!

IT’S HAPPILY EVER AFTER HOUR I HATE TO PLAY THE EVIL PART I’M VEXED WITH HEXING DAY AFTER DAY BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IN MY HEART

Ooh! A butterfly!

Between The Lines

— 27 —

ALL OH WE’RE HAPPY IT’S AFTER HOURS!

RAPSKULLIO Francine. You’re my favorite.

TROLL You know who’s not my favorite? The author. All I get to do is grunt. Twice.

ONDINE Oh, PLEASE. All I do is kiss a prince. Just once, could a maiden fall into the water?

FAIRY Amen!

ONDINE A—woman!

ALL NOW’S THE TIME WHEN ALL OF US CAN LOOSEN UP NOW’S THE TIME WHEN ALL OF US CAN LET DOWN OUR HAIR DRINK UP WHILE THE CHILDREN AREN’T THERE ‘CAUSE HERE WE HAVEN’T A CARE BECAUSE IT’S—

SERAPHIMA enters, dramatically.

SERAPHIMA (in a posh British accent) This cannot be how my story ends! I’ll never dance at a ball, I’ll never wish upon a falling star—

QUEEN MAUREEN Seraphima! The book is closed!

NOTE: when the book is open, SERAPHIMA speaks in the dulcet tones of a posh British accent. But when it is closed, it’s quite the opposite. She speaks in nasal, flat tones, laden with vocal fry, and an accent that could never be described as “posh.”

SERAPHIMA Finally.

— 28 —

Between The Lines

(SERAPHIMA) (revealing a large, dead fish) YOU GUYS! I found this thing in the water, and it was drowning, but don’t worry because I saved it and now it’s napping. Shhh…

(looks at fish then ONDINE; a realization) WAAAAAIT. Are you two related?

ALL OH, WE’RE HAPPY IT’S AFTER HOURS

(chugging drinks) PRINCE OLIVER enters.

PRINCE OLIVER FRUMP!

ALL OLLIE!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (rushing to Prince Oliver) There’s my handsome prince! Did you miss me?

PRINCE OLIVER Like a peasant misses the black plague.

SERAPHIMA laughs snorty and nasal, then kisses PRINCE OLIVER seductively.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Ok! So! Princess Seraphima’s gonna take a… (air quotes) “nap.” I’ll be waiting for you in my chambers…

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA strikes a come hither pose in the doorway. PRINCE OLIVER struts toward her casually, and then slams the door shut.

FRUMP (to PRINCE OLIVER) Do you have to kiss her when the book is closed?

PRINCE OLIVER I wish I never had to kiss her at all.

Between The Lines

(PRINCE OLIVER) (pulling FRUMP aside) Frump, I’ve met someone.

RAPSKULLIO (overhearing) Oooh! In which chapter?

PRINCE OLIVER She’s… a reader.

Everyone gasps, horrified!

QUEEN MAUREEN (chastising him) Oliver! Our readers are children!?

PRINCE OLIVER Not this one! She’s… different.

QUEEN MAUREEN Precisely. She’s out there, and you’re in here.

LADY-IN-WAITING You can’t change that.

PRINCE OLIVER But what if we could? What if we never had to do what was written, ever again?

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS Huh?

PRINCE OLIVER NOT JUST DURING HAPPILY EVER AFTER HOUR THE SAME OLD SONG WE OVERPLAY BUT WHAT IF ONE DAY EV’RYTHING CHANGED AND YOU COULD LIVE LIFE YOUR WAY

He crosses to QUEEN MAUREEN. MAUREEN! NO MORE A WIDOW’S PLIGHT

— 29 —

— 30 —

Between The Lines

(PRINCE OLIVER) YOU’D SLEEP ALL DAY AND DRINK ALL NIGHT AND OPEN UP A VINEYARD FOR YOUR PLEASURE!

(gestures to RAPSKULLIO) RAPSKULLIO! BELIEVE YOUR EYES YOU’LL PAINT A MILLION BUTTERFLIES AND FREELY PRANCE AND FROLIC AT YOUR LEISURE!

(gestures to ONDINE) ONDINE! THERE’D BE NO PATRIARCH— A GENDER NEUTRAL STORY ARC!

(gestures to the TROLL) TROLL! YOU’D DITCH THE GRUNTS AND GROANS

(gestures to FRUMP) FRUMP! YOU’D CHEW ON MORE THAN BONES!

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS HAPPILY HAPPILY! HAPPILY HAPPILY!

OLIVER WOULDN’T IT BE SUCH A JOY TO BE FREE?

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS CERTAINLY! OLLIE, THAT’S WHY WE LIVE FOR HAPPILY EVER AFTER HOUR

OLIVER (throwing his hands in the air in defeat) Nooooo!

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS ANYTHING MORE IS JUST A DREAM

OLIVER You’ve got to be kidding!

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS POUR A DRINK AND TRY NOT TO THINK WE’RE HAPPY AS WE…

Between The Lines

PRINCE OLIVER HOW HAPPY ARE WE?

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS HAPPY AS EVER

PRINCE OLIVER NOW WE KNOW THERE’S MORE BETWEEN THE LINES THAT’S WHERE—

PRINCE OLIVER

FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS

I WANT

HAPPY AS

TO—

WE COULD—

ALL BE!

FRUMP Book opening, everyone! Places! Places!

— 31 —

— 32 —

Between The Lines

ACT 1 SCENE 4: DELILAH’S BEDROOM THE NEXT MORNING

#3 A — B ook O p e n i n g Lights up. DELILAH is sitting up in bed, dressed for the day, opens the book to page 43.

PRINCE OLIVER appears.

PRINCE OLIVER (singing) HELLOOOO!!!!

DELILAH Oh my god.

She slams the book closed, fixes her hair, checks her breath… and then opens the book again, striking a “casual” pose.

PRINCE OLIVER (singing) HELLOOOO!!!!

DELILAH (off-handedly) Oh, hey.

PRINCE OLIVER You look lovely.

DELILAH (shrugs) Well, thanks, I just woke up like this.

(changing the subject) And you’re still here.

PRINCE OLIVER Surely you don’t think a story exists only when you’re reading it? When you go to sleep, do you cease to exist?

Between The Lines

— 33 —

DELILAH Of course not.

DELILAH

PRINCE OLIVER

How come you’re the only—

Thank goodness you’re—

DELILAH Sorry—

PRINCE OLIVER You go.

DELILAH No, you.

PRINCE OLIVER Thank goodness you’re here! I need your help.

(opening his tunic, revealing a mole) Tell me: is this an abnormal mole?

DELILAH stares at his quite lovely torso.

DELILAH Uhhh…

PRINCE OLIVER Oh dear God! I knew it! I have the wasting disease, don’t I?

DELILAH Nothing is wasted on you. I think it’s a freckle. Just a suggestion, you should only flash your pecs to your fiancée.

PRINCE OLIVER closes his tunic.

PRINCE OLIVER (delighted) Are you jealous?

— 34 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH (sarcastic) Of a beautiful princess who has a guy totally fixated on her? Um, yeah.

PRINCE OLIVER That princess has the brain capacity of a sea cucumber.

DELILAH You act like you’re in love with her.

PRINCE OLIVER Don’t believe everything you read.

DELILAH Trust me, I don’t. My world is full of people creating fake versions of themselves.

PRINCE OLIVER Why would anyone live a fictional life by choice? I would give anything to experience something real.

DELILAH Be careful what you wish for. Reality sucks.

GRACE (off stage) Delilah, have you seen my car keys?

DELILAH (calling offstage) On the counter next to your phone.

PRINCE OLIVER That voice I heard? Is she your queen?

DELILAH Basically. She’s my mom.

Between The Lines

— 35 —

GRACE (calling from offstage) Delilah! Move it!

DELILAH I’ve gotta go, or my mom’s gonna kill me—

PRINCE OLIVER (sincerely) Ah! So she’s an evil Queen.

DELILAH Some days. I’ll talk to you later, okay… ?

DELILAH starts to close the book.

PRINCE OLIVER Wait! I’ve always wondered why I was written. But now I think I know. I was meant to meet you.

(smiling) You are amazing, Delilah McPhee.

DELILAH (smiles, smitten and blushing) Stop—

PRINCE OLIVER I’m… sorry?

DELILAH (flustered) No, I mean, like… Um… Don’t stop?

PRINCE OLIVER (gently teasing her) Ah, I’ve embarrassed you. All right then, you’re not amazing. You are run-of-the-mill.

Completely dismissible.

— 36 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH I really have to go. So, I’m just gonna…

#4 —W he n I ’ m Ta l k i n ’ t o O l i v e r DELILAH closes the book and falls onto her bed, squealing with delight.

I’M STARTIN’ TO BELIEVE WHAT HE TELLS ME I SEE MYSELF THE WAY THAT HE DOES SMILIN’ ‘CAUSE THE WAY HE LAUGHED OR LOOKED AT ME IT’S GOT ME ON A DOPAMINE BUZZ

(gets off the bed, grabs her backpack) I’VE NOTICED THAT THE WORLD IS LOOKIN’ BRIGHTER SO BRIGHT, WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER

DELILAH begins to imagine what life would be like if PRINCE OLIVER were in her world. The bed tracks off as the kitchen table tracks on, with PRINCE OLIVER sitting on it, smiling broadly.

I KNOW ALL MY CARES WOULD FLOAT AWAY IF HE WERE HOLDIN’ MY HAND FEELS LIKE EV’RYTHING IS A-O-KAY WHEN I’M TALKING TO OLIVER

GRACE enters unable to see PRINCE OLIVER.

GRACE Who are you talking to?

DELILAH No one. I’m… Um… Just doing my daily affirmations. “You… are… enough.”

GRACE Okay… ??? Are you coming?

DELILAH I think I’ll walk to school today.

GRACE Suit yourself.

GRACE exits. The school bell rings and DELILAH finds herself at school, PRINCE OLIVER at her side, as her fantasy continues.

Between The Lines

— 37 —

Students pass through the halls as DELILAH imagines she and PRINCE OLIVER as the “it” couple.

DELILAH SUDDENLY THE SCENERY SUITS ME THE HALLWAYS HUM A HAPPIER TUNE AND NOT A THING CAN BOTHER ME OR BRING ME DOWN I’M BUSY BEING OVER THE MOON I’M MARCHIN’ TO A DIFF’RENT KINDA DRUMMER BUM BUM! WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER CAN’T SEE CLEARLY WHEN I LOOK AROUND I GOT MY HEAD IN THE CLOUDS I FLY TWENTY FEET ABOVE THE GROUND WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER MY HEART BEATS LIKE A—

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

FAN—

BA BA-DA-DA BA BA

FARE

BA BA-DA-DA DA BA

TRUM—

BA-BA DA BA

PETS

BA-BA DA BA!

PRINCE OLIVER becomes a drum major, conducting the STUDENTS like a marching band.

DELILAH

JANICE

JULES, MARTIN, & OLIVER

RYAN

BLARE

BAH BAH BAH

BRR DRR-DRR DRR-DRR

BA DA-BA-DA-BA DA-BA FOO-DOO-LOO DOO

BA DA-DA DA

DRR-DRR-DRR DRR DRR

DA

BAH BAH DA-DA DA

DRR DRR-DRR DRR-DRR

BA DA-BA-DA-BA DA-BA FOO-DOO-LOO DOO-

DA

DRR-DRR-DRR DRR DRR

DA

DOO LOO DOO

BAH BAH

DRR DRR-DRR

LOO DOO DOO

DA-DA DA DA DA DA

DRR-DRR DRR-DRR-DRR

BA-DA DA-BA-DA-BA DA-DA DA WHEN I’M

DRR DRR

TALKIN’

DRR DRR DRR

TO OLIVER

DELILAH WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER

— 38 —

Between The Lines

(DELILAH) WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER

TRANSITION TO THE LIBRARY MS. WINX enters, seeing DELILAH. WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO OLIVER

DELILAH, lost in her fantasy, does not notice MS. WINX. PRINCE OLIVER exits.

Between The Lines

— 39 —

ACT 1 SCENE 5: SCHOOL LIBRARY

MS. WINX Delilah? Who’s Oliver?

DELILAH is snapped out of herfantasy world.

DELILAH Ms. Winx? Has a book ever… spoken to you?

MS. WINX My goodness, of course!

DELILAH No. I mean, has a character in a book like… literally spoken to you?

MS. WINX Books speak to people all the time. I myself have had a 38-year dalliance with the hero of this classic—

(presenting a copy of Pride And Prejudice) Jane Austen’s Pride And Prejudice.

#5 —M r . D a r c y a n d M e I was 15 when I met Mr. Darcy and immediately knew he would be the standard upon which I would judge all other men and find them oh, so woefully inadequate.

WHEN I DREAM OF MR. DARCY MR. DARCY APPEARS HE’S MY GUIDE THROUGH THE COUNTRY SIDE AS WE TAKE A RIDE THROUGH THE MEADOW WHEN I DREAM OF MR. DARCY MR. DARCY IS HERE WE HOLD HANDS AND BEGIN TO DANCE AND CHAT ABOUT OUR PLANS TO SOON BE WED! OH! HOW I DESIRE THAT EACH SEPTEMBER HE WOULD LONG FOR A WOMAN AND REMEMBER ME THEN HE WOULD WHISK ME OFF TO PEMBERLY

— 40 —

Between The Lines

MS. WINX’S fantasy is manifested on stage. A dashing MR. DARCY enters, gesturing for her to join him in a passionate and serious tango inspired dance. MS. WINX’S fantasy begins to spin out of control and the dance becomes hysterically comedic. MR. DARCY exits, leaving MRS. WINX panting and desperate for more.

(MS. WINX) BUT WHEN I DREAM OF MR. DARCY MR. DARCY ISN’T REAL THOUGH I’VE PINED, STILL I ONLY FIND HE’S IN MY MIND AND THAT’S TOO BAD, OH WHEN I DREAM OF MR. DARCY MR. DARCY MAKES ME FEEL I’VE SPENT YEARS CRYING POINTLESS TEARS FOR A GUY WHO’S MERELY JUST A SHADOW SO YOU’RE BETTER OFF CREATING THAN SPENDING YOUR NIGHTS FICTION DATING WRITE BOOKS ‘STEAD OF CRACKIN’ ‘EM DON’T END UP STACKIN’ ‘EM! YOU CAN HAVE MORE THAN MR. DARCY MR. DARCY AND ME!

MRS. WINX, flushed with passion, fans herself with her copy of Pride And Prejudice. (to DELILAH) Trust me, Delilah. You don’t want to end up binge-watching Hallmark movies, tweaking your Farmers Only dating profile, and revisiting a book you’ve read way too many times.

I really think you should consider joining creative writing club.

DELILAH I’ll think about it.

MS. WINX Okay, good! Because Mr. Darcy is waiting for me in chapter 34. “In vain I have struggled.

It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.”

(growls) Grrr...

DELILAH Um… but you just said Mr. Darcy’s not real…

Between The Lines

— 41 —

MS. WINX Listen, I’m a woman ripe with post-menopausal zest who’s easily bowled over by tight breeches and a cravat. Save yourself, Delilah.

#5 A — M r . D a r c y T a g MS. WINX exits.

DELILAH exits as ALLIE, RYAN, MARTIN, and JANICE enter and sit at a table eating lunch, and staring at their devices. On the other side of the stage, JULES sits alone at another table.

— 42 —

Between The Lines

ACT 1 SCENE 6: SCHOOL CAFETERIA

RYAN enters carrying a quart of skim milk. He stops and looks at the carton, puzzled and then takes his seat.

RYAN (reading the carton of milk) Hey babe… if it’s one percent milk… what’s the rest of it?

ALLIE (shutting him down) Ryan. Stop.

DELILAH enters, unaware of ALLIE, RYAN, MARTIN, and JANICE’s presence.

MARTIN (referring to DELILAH) Incoming…

ALLIE (referring to DELILAH) I swear I’m gonna have to get a restraining order.

JANICE Ooh! I kinda like her sweater.

RYAN (to ALLIE) Babe. Just ignore her.

Thinking no one is paying attention, DELILAH opens the book to page 43.

#5 B — B ook O p e n i n g

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH (singing in harmony) HELLO!!!!!

ALLIE notices DELILAH talking to herself.

Between The Lines

ALLIE MCANDREWS (to RYAN, MARTIN, JANICE) Um. Pretty hard to ignore that.

JANICE Who is she talking to?

DELILAH continues to talk to PRINCE OLIVER as ALLIE, RYAN JANICE, and MARTIN observe. They cannot see or hear PRINCE OLIVER.

PRINCE OLIVER Where have you been?

DELILAH I was in the library with Ms. Winx.

PRINCE OLIVER Did you tell her about me?

ALLIE She talks to herself all the time.

DELILAH I figured if anyone could get it, it would be a librarian—but she didn’t.

MARTIN (not looking up) Classic undiagnosed Schizoaffective Disorder.

JANICE Um. Who are you?

MARTIN (shrugging) My mom’s a shrink.

PRINCE OLIVER I guess what you and I have is just magical.

— 43 —

— 44 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH (blushes) Yeah. That.

DELILAH turns upstage and sees ALLIE, RYAN, MARTIN, and JANICE.

ALLIE Hey, psycho? We can all hear you.

DELILAH closes the book and crosses to the only available seat which is at a table where JULES is sitting.

JULES For the record? If Allie was on fire, and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it.

DELILAH sits, not engaging with JULES.

RYAN Guys… is Canada… like… a real place?

#6 —I nne r Thoug h t s A pin spot isolates ALLIE. We hear her inner thoughts.

ALLIE MCANDREWS SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE I COULD KILL HIM NOT ACTUALLY KILL HIM BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (I COULD SCREAM) THERE’S A BURDEN IN RULING OVER MINIONS AND WEIGHING THEIR OPINIONS THIS IMAGE I’M MAINTAINING —YEAH IT’S DRAINING AND THE PARADOX I FACE ALWAYS PUTS ME IN MY PLACE NO ONE REALLY LIKES A WOMAN WHEN SHE TAKES UP SPACE, WHOA… BUT THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS MY DEEPEST DARKEST INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS

Between The Lines

(ALLIE MCANDREWS) YA, THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW NO, NO, NO.

The pin spot fades on ALLIE, and isolates JANICE. We hear her inner thoughts.

JANICE SOMETIMES, WHEN I’M KISSING BOYS IM ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT THIS GIRL NAMED DEBRA WHO PLAYS VOLLEYBALL SHE IS SUPER COOL AND BRILLIANT SHE LOOKS LIKE VENUS WILLIAMS I LOVE TO WATCH HER SPIKE IT, YEAH I LIKE IT WHEN SHE LAUGHS SHE KINDA SNORTS AND SHE’S REALLY GOOD AT SPORTS WANNA KISS FROM HER KNEE PADS TO HER SPANDEX SHORTS, WHOA…

(getting carried away in the fantasy) BUT THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS DEBRA, AM I IN YOUR THOUGHTS? IN YOUR THOUGHTS? YA, THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW… OH… OH… OH…

The pin spot fades on JANICE and isolates RYAN who stares blankly into space: RYAN has no inner thoughts.

The pin spot isolates MARTIN. We hear his inner thoughts.

MARTIN LATELY I’VE BEEN HACKING AND I GOT INTO THE PRINCIPAL’S EMAIL HIS PERSONAL EMAIL I LEARNED WAY MORE THAN I BARGAINED FOR LIKE WHAT HE’S DONE WITH ONE CERTAIN FEMALE OUR CHEMISTRY TEACHER

MRS. BROWN crosses, buttoning her blouse, flush with a post-coital glow.

— 45 —

— 46 —

Between The Lines

MRS. BROWN Uh-oh!

NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT OUR RELATIONS OR CONJUGATIONS OR OUR VACATIONS TO LOCATIONS DOWN THE SHORE

MARTIN (to audience, smiling broadly with a wink) I know.

Pin spots now illuminate MARTIN, JANICE and ALLIE.

ALLIE, JANICE, & MARTIN THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS THEY CAN’T ALL BE WINNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO

ALLIE KNOW, KNOW

JANICE

MARTIN

THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO

KNOW, KNOW

KNOW

THAT

KNOW

NO ONE NEEDS TO

KNOW

KNOW

KNOW

ALLIE, JANICE, & MARTIN THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS I WONDER WHAT’S FOR DINNER NOW THEY’RE DINNER THOUGHTS THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW

The pin spots fade. The scene resumes.

RYAN (aloud to the group) Last year, I swallowed the letter K from Scrabble and it still hasn’t come out.

Between The Lines

— 47 —

ALLIE MCANDREWS Babe, don’t share your inner thoughts.

ALLIE, JANICE, & MARTIN ‘CAUSE NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW.

JANICE (noticing DELILAH’s sweater) Wait! That sweater Delilah is wearing-

ALLIE MCANDREWS Yeah?

JANICE That’s your Alexander McQueen!

ALLIE MCANDREWS Are you kidding me?

(to JANICE with a sly smile) Janice, watch and learn.

(crossing to DELILAH; sweetly) Oh my god, Delilah! I love your sweater. Where did you get it?

DELILAH My mom.

ALLIE MCANDREWS Really? Because that’s Alexander McQueen couture. One of a kind. I bought it in Tulum So, where do we think your mom got it?

DELILAH Goodwill?

ALLIE MCANDREWS (to JANICE) Oh! I did a deep clean on my closet. Sent like six bags to Goodwill…

(to DELILAH) I’m gonna need that back.

— 48 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH I’ll wash it and—

ALLIE MCANDREWS You don’t wash Alexander McQueen.

(puts her hand out expecting the sweater) I’m waiting.

MARTIN shoots a video of DELILAH taking off the sweater with his phone.

DELILAH (handing the sweater to Allie) Here you go, Allie.

MARTIN shows the video to ALLIE.

ALLIE MCANDREWS That’s so savage. Post it.

(to DELILAH) On second thought, I never really liked it that much.

ALLIE drops the sweater on JULES’ head and exits, with JANICE and RYAN.

MARTIN (to DELILAH) Don’t worry, Delilah. I tagged you.

MARTIN exits. JULES folds the sweater and hands it to DELILAH.

JULES That sweater looked way better on you.

DELILAH (awkwardly) Can we start over? I’m Delilah McPhee, and I’m socially awkward.

JULES (laughs) Jules Quintero. The epitome of awesome. My pronouns are they/them.

Between The Lines

DELILAH (hesitant) Oh… so you’re, um… a—

JULES A Pisces? That’s what you were gonna say, right?

DELILAH No, uh,I was… I didn’t know what I was gonna say.

JULES I’m non-binary.

(realizes DELILAH has questions) You know how some books are fiction… and others are non-fiction?

DELILAH (going along with the metaphor) You’re… both?

JULES I’m the whole motherf-ing library. All the classics… and a couple of books you didn’t even know exist.

(JULES’ phone DINGS.) You might want to check this out.

JULES shows DELILAH her phone. We see the video MARTIN has posted: DELILAH removing her sweater, with a YES/NO poll: HOT OR NOT? (reading the results on their phone) Eight percent think you’re hot.

(looking up at DELILAH) When they did that to me, my numbers were way lower.

DELILAH (watching the video) Oh my God… oh my GOD! How many people have seen this?

— 49 —

— 50 —

Between The Lines

JULES Only five…

(looks on their phone) … hundred. And one.

(DELILAH’s phone dings) Two.

(DELILAH’s phone dings) Three…

(DELILAH’s phone dings)

DELILAH What do I do?

JULES (unwrapping a Dove chocolate) Ignore it. Ignore THEM.

DELILAH If only it were that easy.

JULES (reading the DOVE wrapper, deadpan) When people throw stones at you, pick them up and build something.

DELILAH Where’d you get that?

JULES lifts up the DOVE chocolate wrapper.

JULES Off my Dove wrapper.

(hands her the bag of chocolate) Here. Take the whole bag.

DELILAH Why?

Between The Lines

JULES In case you need advice when I’m not around.

They exit.

TRANSITION TO ACT 1 SCENE 7

The LADY-IN-WAITING opens the door. She holds an empty glass.

LADY-IN-WAITING Queen Maureen?… I’m waiting…

QUEEN MAUREEN enters with a bottle of wine.

QUEEN MAUREEN That’s your job.

LADY-IN-WAITING What took you so long? We’re not Russian literature.

QUEEN MAUREEN Then why do I have the urge to throw you in front of a train?

LADY-IN-WAITING Spinster.

QUEEN MAUREEN Wench.

LADY-IN-WAITING Lush.

QUEEN MAUREEN Supporting character.

They both exit as DELILAH enters.

— 51 —

— 52 —

Between The Lines

ACT 1 SCENE 7: DELILAH’S RENTAL HOUSE

#6 A — W af f l e s f o r D i n n e r

DELILAH (narrating) Sometimes there’s one parent who just gets you. For me, that was my dad. If I screwed up a test, he would make waffles for dinner. If I didn’t want to talk, he just let me be silent. If I had a problem, he’d drop everything and listen, like I was the most important thing in his world.

(calling DAD on her cell) Pick up, Dad. Please pick up.

GRACE enters and overhears.

VOICEMAIL RECORDING: Sunrise salutations, it’s Dave McPhee. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m in shavasana!

(HOT YOGA GIRLFRIEND’S voice) Babe!! No talking during savasana!!

(they giggle; then Dave speaks) Oops… gotta go! Leave a message! Namaste!

A BEEP.

DELILAH Hey, it’s Delilah, I just wanted to—

VOICEMAIL RECORDING: The mailbox you are trying to reach is full.

DELILAH (frustrated) Great talk, Dad.

GRACE Delilah!? Why are you calling your father?

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DELILAH Dinner’s in the oven. You’re welcome.

GRACE You didn’t answer my question.

DELILAH Because I had a shitty day and you weren’t here.

GRACE What happened?

DELILAH Guess who donated that Alexander McQueen sweater?

GRACE looks at DELILAH’s face.

GRACE Tell me it wasn’t Allie McAndrews.

(DELILAH nods yes) Oh, Delilah… mean girls are inevitable. Like the way a strapless bra always ends up becoming a belt.

DELILAH It’s not just Allie. It’s… everything sucks! I miss… our old house…

GRACE I miss sleeping in on weekends.

DELILAH Mani-pedis.

GRACE Eating takeout.

DELILAH Dad.

— 53 —

— 54 —

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GRACE (hurt and angry) Really? Again? Why does he get a free pass? I was the one who dropped out of nursing school because we didn’t want you raised by strangers. Seventeen years later he walks out, and somehow I’m the bad guy.

DELILAH Well at least when he was here, he was here.

GRACE What does that mean?

DELILAH Nothing. I’m trying to have a conversation. You know, like mothers and daughters do.

GRACE Those mothers have more time—

DELILAH Those mothers make time.

DELILAH storms off.

GRACE Delilah!

#7 —St ar t A g a i n T o m o r r o w

DELILAH Dammit!

GRACE Dammit!

DELILAH (narrating) When did “happily ever after” turn into “hatefully ever divorced?” It wasn’t always like this. Our life used to be pretty great, when I was little. Dad would read to me at night. My favorite was Cinderella, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre version, where the stepsisters hack

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(DELILAH) off their feet to fit into the shoe. I’d hide under the covers pretending to be scared, so Mom would sing me to sleep.

In a flashback, DELILAH recalls this memory.

GRACE THE WORLD IS GOOD, AND IT WILL CHARM YOU THE ONES YOU LOVE, WILL NEVER HARM YOU IF YOU GIVE IT YOUR ALL THEN YOUR DREAMS’LL COME TRUE AND WE’LL START AGAIN TOMORROW SO REST YOUR HEAD, AND EASE YOUR BREATHING YOU ARE LOVED, SO KEEP BELIEVING THOUGH IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY AND IT’S BEEN A LONG WEEK WE CAN START AGAIN TOMORROW AND OH, THE FUN WE HAD WITH A COUPLE OF LAUGHS AND A COUPLE OF TEARS AND OH, THE FUN WE’LL HAVE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS AND A COUPLE OF YEARS IT’S TIME FOR BED, YOUR DREAMS WILL GUIDE YOU SO GO TO SLEEP, I’LL BE BESIDE YOU THOUGH IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY AND IT’S BEEN A LONG WEEK WE CAN START AGAIN TOMORROW

GRACE kisses DELILAH’s forehead.

I love you.

DELILAH I love you more.

GRACE I love you most.

— 55 —

— 56 —

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DELILAH (narrating) That was then.

Present day. GRACE is drying dishes.

GRACE NOW YEARS HAVE PASSED, AND THEY WERE TRYING AND NOW I KNOW THAT I WAS LYING THOUGH YOU GIVE IT YOUR ALL IT’S THE WORLD AGAINST YOU AND IT STARTS AGAIN TOMORROW

Transition from Delilah’s bedroom to the roof.

#7 A — St ar t A g a i n P l a y o f f

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— 57 —

ACT 1 SCENE 8: THE ROOF OUTSIDE DELILAH’S BEDROOM

DELILAH opens the book to page 43; PRINCE OLIVER appears.

PRINCE OLIVER HELLOOOOOO!!!

Delilah? Are you all right?

DELILAH I had a fight with my mom. She loses it every time I mention my dad.

PRINCE OLIVER (soberly) Ah! Was he taken by a dragon?

DELILAH No. A very flexible yoga instructor.

PRINCE OLIVER My father is just a flashback. I wish I had memories of him.

DELILAH Trust me, you don’t. It’s harder to lose someone when you know what you’re missing.

PRINCE OLIVER Where is your father now?

DELILAH In Boston with his girlfriend and her perfect little daughter. They don’t exactly want me around.

PRINCE OLIVER Well, that’s their loss.

DELILAH Ollie, you hardly know me.

PRINCE OLIVER I know that you write notes on your hand when you need to remember something. And that you bite your lip when you read.

— 58 —

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DELILAH (biting her lip) I do not.

PRINCE OLIVER Ah! You just did it! And you wear my favorite frock every night.

DELILAH (indicating the t-shirt she’s wearing) This? Why is it your favorite?

PRINCE OLIVER Because you wear it to bed.

DELILAH (blushing) Ollie!

#8 —I n M y P e r f e c t W o r l d (changing the subject slightly) Do you ever imagine what it would be like? If we could actually be together?

PRINCE OLIVER Constantly.

DAYLIGHT WAKING UP BESIDE YOU MARV’LING AT YOUR BEAUTY IN THE EARLY SUNBEAMS I’M OVERJOYED…

DELILAH Oh… so we’d be like… sleeping in the same bed?

PRINCE OLIVER Is that not how it’s done in your world?

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DELILAH (flustered by PRINCE OLIVER’s innuendo) Well, yes. But you’re missing a few steps. Like— WEEKENDS GOING ON ADVENTURES OR MAYBE WATCHING MOVIES LAYING ON THE SOFA AND HOLDING HANDS…

PRINCE OLIVER Who is “Movies” and why must we watch him?

DELILAH (laughing) Oh Ollie, you have so much to learn.

PRINCE OLIVER WE’RE FACE TO FACE

DELILAH IN THE SAME TIME AND SPACE

PRINCE OLIVER IT CAN’T GET ANY BETTER

DELILAH WE’LL FIN’LY BE TOGETHER IN MY PERFECT WORLD YOU ARE NEXT TO ME IN MY PERFECT WORLD I FEEL HAPPY AT LAST

PRINCE OLIVER THE FUTURE IS CLEARER WHILE HOLDING YOU NEARER I LOVE HOW YOU FIT INTO

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH MY PERFECT WORLD

PRINCE OLIVER Tell me everything! I want to know more about your world!

— 59 —

— 60 —

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DELILAH Well… In my world the men wear aprons and do all the cleaning-

PRINCE OLIVER Fascinating!

DELILAH Mmhmm. Yeah. And they always take the children to school.

PRINCE OLIVER I would like that—

DELILAH And they have dinner on the table just in time for the women to come home from their fulfilling careers.

PRINCE OLIVER What fun! Okay, okay… so what about YOU AND ME AND FIVE LITTLE CHILDREN?

DELILAH UH, MAYBE YOU MEAN THREE CHILDREN?

PRINCE OLIVER I WAS THINKING FOUR CHILDREN TWO ARE TWINS!

DELILAH WE LIVE ON A LITTLE HILLSIDE NO TWINS.

PRINCE OLIVER IN A HUMBLE DWELLING WHERE I WEAR MY APRON!

DELILAH RIGHT! ‘CAUSE ALL MEN DO SIDE BY SIDE

PRINCE OLIVER YOU’LL BE MY GUIDE

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DELILAH WE’LL MAKE A PERFECT DUO

PRINCE OLIVER SO TEACH ME ALL THAT YOU KNOW

DELILAH IN MY PERFECT WORLD THERE’S ADVENTURE WAITING IN MY PERFECT WORLD THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO…

PRINCE OLIVER WHEN EACH DAY IS ENDING I’M HAPPY I’M SPENDING

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH A LIFETIME BESIDE YOU IN MY PERFECT WORLD

PRINCE OLIVER Tell me, is there dancing out there?

DELILAH Of course! People out here dance all the time.

PRINCE OLIVER Excellent! Then perhaps you know the “Beggar’s Dance?”

(performing a medieval chain dance) HITHER TO, THEN BOWETH TO THINE NEIGHBOR THITHER HENCE, AND DANCETH TO AND FRO!

DELILAH Oh, god. Never do that again.

PRINCE OLIVER What? I’m a tremendous dancer! Okay, let’s see some of your moves—

DELILAH No. I said people dance. I don’t dance.

— 61 —

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PRINCE OLIVER Someday, Delilah McPhee, you will dance with me.

DELILAH I don’t think so—

PRINCE OLIVER Promise me.

DELILAH Ollie, no-

PRINCE OLIVER Please???

DELILAH (reluctantly) Fine. I promise.

SIDE BY SIDE

PRINCE OLIVER & DELILAH I’LL BE YOUR GUIDE/YOU’LL BE MY GUIDE WE’LL BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER READY FOR ANOTHER

DELILAH

PRINCE OLIVER

IN MY PERFECT WORLD

DAYLIGHT WAKING UP BESIDE YOU MARV’LING AT YOUR BEAUTY

WE STAY UP WATCHING MOVIES

IN THE EARLY SUNBEAMS, I’M OVERJOYED

MORNINGS, SITTING IN THE KITCHEN

IN MY PERFECT WORLD

SKIMMING THROUGH THE PAPER SIPPING ON OUR COFFEE

I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN

WE’RE HOLDING HANDS!

PRINCE OLIVER WE’LL SHARE A DANCE

DELILAH YOU’LL NEED SOME PANTS.

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— 63 —

PRINCE OLIVER WE’LL BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER

DELILAH

PRINCE OLIVER

READY FOR ANOTHER

READY FOR ANOTHER DAY IN MY PERFECT WORLD

DAYLIGHT, WAKING UP BESIDE YOU

IN MY

BESIDE YOU

PERFECT WORLD

MORNINGS, SITTING IN THE KITCHEN

MORNINGS, SITTING IN THE KITCHEN

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER THAT’S MY PERFECT WORLD

PRINCE OLIVER Just one tiny dance step?

DELILAH UGH, OLIVER… NO.

#8 A — P e r f e c t P l a y o f f (narrating) I know what you’re thinking. This girl should be talking to a therapist, not an illustration.

Truth is, I would have spent all night with Ollie, if it wasn’t for my chemistry midterm.

My teacher, Mrs. Brown, grew up in Hoboken, has more plastic in her than the ocean, and is definitely mob-adjacent.

(putting on a shirt over her t-shirt) And since Allie and her squad are in the class, I really wish this was an invisibility cloak.

— 64 —

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ACT 1 SCENE 9: CHEMISTRY CLASS

ALLIE, RYAN, MARTIN, and JANICE, huddle. JULES sits alone. DELILAH is standing apart, wearing her backpack and carrying the fairytale book in her hand. MRS. BROWN is showing students personal photos on a device.

MRS. BROWN … And this is my first husband and me on our honeymoon in Cape May…

(points to her boobs) … The girls were real then. This is me and my second husband and my second face on our honeymoon in Atlantic City. And this is me and… I have absolutely no idea who that man is…

MARTIN Isn’t that Principal Hess?

MRS. BROWN (changing the subject) Anyhoo…

(shrugs) Now, today’s lab test is sixty percent of your grade, or in other words, will determine who’ll be taking AP Physics next year, and who is going to “Science Is Fun.” Jules, who’s your partner?

The other students pair up.

JULES Don’t have one.

MRS. BROWN (to DELILAH indicating JULES) Delilah, you can work with her.

DELILAH I’m happy to work with them.

JULES and DELILAH share a smile.

JULES Thanks.

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— 65 —

DELILAH joins JULES, placing the fairytale book on the table.

INTERCOM (V.O.) Mrs. Brown, please come to the principal’s office. Mrs. Brown, to the principal’s office.

MRS. BROWN Uh-oh! All right young people, eye wash station’s over there, try not to set yourselves on fire!

MRS. BROWN exits.

JULES Do you want to take notes, or do you want me to?

DELILAH My handwriting sucks. You do it.

MARTIN (eyeing JULES and DELILAH) New couple alert.

RYAN Wait, the new girl’s a lesbo? That’s. So. Hot.

JULES Ryan, acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.

#9 —C r az y C h e m i s t r y ALLIE sidles up to DELILAH.

ALLIE MCANDREWS So, if you’re not a couple… then who are you interested in, Delilah?

DELILAH I’m interested in doing this chemistry lab.

ALLIE MCANDREWS Lighten up…

— 66 —

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ALLIE THE TEACHER’S LEFT US ALL ALONE

MARTIN & JANICE MMM

ALLIE AND I’VE GOT TESTING OF MY OWN

RYAN (seductively) HEY…

ALLIE ignores him and zeroes in on DELILAH. JULES watches, wary.

ALLIE I’M GONNA POSE A NEW HYPOTHESIS THAT I DON’T THINK YOU’VE EVER BEEN KISSED BUT, I’M SURE THAT SOMEONE’S GOT YOU YEARNIN’

RYAN YAH!

ALLIE THEY REALLY GET YOUR BUNSEN BURNIN’

RYAN RYAN moves to respond; ALLIE stops him with a gesture, shutting him down.

(YUH!)

ALLIE SO C’MON LIGHT THAT LIGHT LET THE SPARK IGNITE PROB’LY SHOULDA WARNED YA!

ALLIE seductively pets RYAN, who loves every minute of it.

ALLIE

RYAN, JANICE, & MARTIN

SEE HOW EASY IT IS TO FIND LOVE

OOO

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CHEMISTRY

CHEMISTRY

THINGS HEAT UP

OOO

WHEN YOU MIX THE RIGHT STUFF THAT’S SOME CRAZY CHEMISTRY

CHEMISTRY

TRUE ATTRACTION

TRUE ATTRACTION

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(ALLIE)

— 67 —

(RYAN, JANICE, & MARTIN)

WILL CAUSE A BIG REACTION

BIG REACTION

AND THEN BEFORE YA KNOW IT

OOO

IT’LL HIT YOU HARD HIT YOU HARD AND BABE, THAT’S CRAZY CHEMISTRY

THAT’S CRAZY CHEMISTRY

ALLIE Racers, start your engines…

JULES Allie, what are you doing…

ALLIE I’m just trying to help. Delilah, for all you know, your person could be right here in this room…

(to the other students) … and may the best contestant win!

JULES exits to get help. JANICE, MARTIN, and RYAN step forward like contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

JANICE Are you a carbon sample? Because I wanna date you.

MARTIN I’d like to get you on a table… periodically.

RYAN I wanna get you in the back of my car.

(realizing his statement is creepy) Not like the trunk. But like the back seat—

ALLIE Babe. No. Stop.

ALLIE & MARTIN LET YOUR CHEMICALS TAKE THE LEAD YOU’VE—

RYAN & JANICE OOO

— 68 —

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ALL GOT CRAZY CHEMISTRY!

ALLIE & MARTIN

RYAN & JANICE

LET HIM MEASURE OUT WHAT YOU NEED

OOO

BABE— YOU’VE GOT THAT CHEMISTRY

YOU’VE GOT THAT CHEMISTRY

ALLIE

RYAN, JANICE, & MARTIN

HEAT CONDUCTION

HEAT CONDUCTION

CAN LEAD TO SWEET SEDUCTION

SWEET SEDUCTION

THEN PRETTY SOON YOU’LL FIND YOURSELF

OOO

FALLING HARD FALLING HARD AND BABE THAT’S CRAZY CHEMISTRY

THAT’S CRAZY CHEMISTRY

DELILAH Allie, can we just get back to the test?

MARTIN (holding up the fairytale book) Look what I found?

DELILAH Give it back.

ALLIE Delilah, we’re just testing to see who you have chemistry with.

(opens the book to page 43) Oh, it looks like we have another contestant.

DELILAH Allie—don’t!

ALLIE opens the book to page 43 revealing Prince Oliver on the cliff.

ALLIE Ooo, Delilah, he’s a snack. Too bad he’s not real.

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Closes the book.

DELILAH Allie, give it back!

RYAN BEFORE YOU MOVED HERE HER LIFE WAS LAID OUT PERFECTLY THEN YOU CAME ALONG AND YOU BROKE HER KNEE

ALLIE tosses the book to RYAN.

ALLIE / MARTIN & JANICE YOU BROKE MY/HER KNEE

RYAN tosses the book to ALLIE.

ALLIE NOW YOU OWE ME NOW YOU OWE ME

ALLIE tosses the book to JANICE.

MARTIN, JANICE, & RYAN OOO THAT’S CRAZY CHEMISTRY

JANICE tosses the book back to ALLIE.

ALLIE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE’S ALREADY FOUND LOVE GOT YOURSELF THAT CHEMISTRY

ALLIE TOO BAD, BABE, BUT YOU’LL BE BETTER OFF

MARTIN, JANICE, & RYAN OOO

ENDING THIS DEPENDENCY HOW HEART BREAKING

HOW HEART BREAKING

BUT, THIS IS MINE FOR TAKING

MINE FOR TAKING

AND THEN REALITY IS GONNA HIT YOU HARD

AND THEN REALITY IS GONNA

HIT YOU HARD

HIT YOU HARD

HIT YOU HARD

HIT YOU HARD

HIT YOU HARD

HIT YOU HARD

— 69 —

— 70 —

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DELILAH grabs the book-it’s a tug of war between her and ALLIE. DELILAH loses her grip and the book smacks ALLIE in the face just as MRS. BROWN and JULES enter.

ALLIE OW!!

MRS. BROWN Delilah McPhee! Did you just hit Allie McAndrews? AGAIN!

DELILAH It was an accident!

MRS. BROWN Principal Hess’s office, NOW!

MARTIN, JANICE, & RYAN OOO KICKED OUT OF CHEMISTRY

#9 A — A f t e r C he m i s t r y TRANSITION TO HALLWAY JULES has been waiting for DELILAH.

JULES What did the principal say?

DELILAH He’s making me see the school psychiatrist.

JULES Ah! Dr. Ducharme. As shrinks go, he’s not that big of a douchebag. Blame it on stress, your parents, or the patriarchy. If he gets out the crayons, you’re fine. If he gets out the hand puppets, you’re screwed.

(putting her arm on DELILAH’s shoulder) Delilah, it’s going to be okay.

(hands DELILAH the fairytale)

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DELILAH Thanks.

JULES exits. DELILAH enters DR. DUCHARME’S office which is decorated with butterflies.

— 71 —

— 72 —

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ACT 1 SCENE 10: DR. DUCHARME’S OFFICE

DELILAH sits.

DR. DUCHARME So what’s going on? You’re bullying Allie McAndrews?

DELILAH No. It’s the exact opposite. Allie and her boyfriend are making my life a living hell. They posted this whole thing on Instagram—

DR. DUCHARME checks his phone.

Don’t even bother. They took it down.

DR. DUCHARME (disbelieving) Okay… but you’ve attacked Allie twice.

DELILAH This is a really big misunderstanding. Allie and Ryan took something of mine.

DR. DUCHARME It was a library book. A… fairytale, right?

DELILAH Yeah. So?

DR. DUCHARME Fairytales don’t usually inspire violence.

DELILAH Tell that to the Brothers Grimm.

DR. DUCHARME Touché. Delilah. You know, I looked at your old transcripts. You were a straight-Astudent, never in trouble. What changed?

DELILAH Life.

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— 73 —

(DELILAH) (confessing) I don’t drink. I don’t get high. Reading is what I do to make everything go away.

DR. DUCHARME Lots of people escape into fiction. But there’s a difference between a distraction, and an obsession. So which one is this?

DR. DUCHARME takes the book.

DELILAH Give him back.

(dead serious) Give him back!

DR. DUCHARME Him?

DELILAH (correcting herself) It. Give it back to me.

(desperate) Please, give me back the book! Give me back the book! Give me back the—

DELILAH has a panic attack.

DR. DUCHARME (returning the book) Here, Delilah. Relax. Deep breaths, deep breaths…

(once DELILAH has calmed) You seem pretty attached to that fairytale.

DELILAH (bluffing) No, I’m not.

— 74 —

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DR. DUCHARME Prove it. Instead of reading it, go for a walk. Invite a friend over and watch Netflix and chill.

DELILAH That does not mean what you think it does.

DR. DUCHARME (confused; shrugs) Look, I know you’re upset. But you hit another student, and I can’t magically make that go away.

DELILAH Please don’t suspend me. My mom will kill me.

DR. DUCHARME Then we’ll call it a mental health break.

DELILAH exits the office; JULES is waiting for her.

JULES So what did he say?

DELILAH I’m taking a…

(air quotes) “Mental health break.”

JULES Oh, so you’re suspended.

DELILAH Exactly. Why are you still here?

JULES My lawyer says I don’t have to answer that question.

DELILAH (shutting JULES out) I gotta go.

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DELILAH starts to exit.

JULES Delilah, I’m here if you need me.

— 75 —

— 76 —

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ACT 1 SCENE 11: RAPSKULLIO’S LAIR

#9 B — R aps kul l i o ’ s L a i r TROLL, QUEEN MAUREEN and LADY-IN-WAITING are gathered; FRUMP enters excitedly

FRUMP Hey everyone! Gather around, I have an important announcement! I’m going to do it. I’m gonna tell Seraphima I love her.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA enters on a mission.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Prince Oliver!

FRUMP Princess Seraphima…

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Prince Oliver!

FRUMP Princess Seraphima!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA WHAT?!

FRUMP Nothing.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA You guys! Please help! I need to find Prince Oliver right now. We’re going to make a baby.

FRUMP’s jaw drops.

LADY-IN-WAITING Does Ollie know that?

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PRINCESS SERAPHIMA It’s going to be a surprise. Anyone wanna watch?

FRUMP (snapping out of his stupor) I’m out.

FRUMP starts to exit, but QUEEN MAUREEN stops him.

QUEEN MAUREEN Seraphima, if you can tell me how babies are made, I’ll abdicate.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Babies come from baby powder. You just add water.

Everyone is dumbfounded.

QUEEN MAUREEN Nailed it.

Everyone immediately departs in different directions.

RAPSKULLIO enters.

He starts painting butterflies on a canvas.

#1 0 — B u t t e r f l i e s

RAPSKULLIO HAPPY LITTLE FLAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES SWEET AND JUST AS DAINTY AS CAN BE-EE-EE DEE DEE HUM A LITTLE DITTY DEE DEE MY, YOU’RE AWF’LY PRETTY! HAPPY LITTLE FLAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES I LOVE THEM AND I KNOW THEY LOVE ME-EE-EE HAPPY LITTLE FLAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES

He taps the canvas.

Beautiful Marjorie…

— 77 —

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(RAPSKULLIO) One butterfly flitters off. He taps it again.

Cecil.

He taps it again.

Alistair.

RAPSKULLIO taps the canvas, nothing. Then again, nothing.

Francine!

Suddenly Francine flits away.

DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE DEE!

FRUMP enters, chasing FRANCINE.

FRUMP Treat! Treat!

PRINCE OLIVER enters.

PRINCE OLIVER Rapskullio!

RAPSKULLIO Oliver! I’m so glad you’re here! Frump and I were about to have a little tea party!

FRUMP We were?

RAPSKULLIO We can all put on our fancy-boy pants and share our feelings. I’ll go first.

(with great emotion) Today I saw a sunrise, and I wept.

(he sobs in silence; then:) Now you go, Frump.

FRUMP I am hopelessly in love… with Princess Seraphima.

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— 79 —

RAPSKULLIO (shutting FRUMP down) We know. Prince Oliver?

PRINCE OLIVER I can’t share feelings right now.

RAPSKULLIO What could you possibly be upset about? Dear sweet… perfectly illustrated Ollie. Right down to those ridiculously cute dimples… Flash ‘em for me!

PRINCE OLIVER No.

RAPSKULLIO Flash ‘em—

PRINCE OLIVER No!

RAPSKULLIO (pleading) Ollie… ?!

PRINCE OLIVER Okay…

PRINCE OLIVER smiles, flexing his dimples, accompanied by a musical chime.

RAPSKULLIO (clapping with childlike delight) Yay!

(poking PRINCE OLIVER with his paintbrush) Now, what’s got your tights in a twist?

PRINCE OLIVER grabs the paintbrush from Rapskullio.

PRINCE OLIVER What’s the point of being a hero when you can’t save the one person you want to?

— 80 —

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(PRINCE OLIVER) (a sudden thought as he studies the paintbrush) Rapskullio, can you paint anything onto your magic canvas?

RAPSKULLIO I suppose.

PRINCE OLIVER And will whatever you paint appear like the butterflies do?

RAPSKULLIO I don’t see why not.

PRINCE OLIVER I need you to paint something for me.

RAPSKULLIO What do you have in mind?

PRINCE OLIVER A girl. With eyes the color of honey.

RAPSKULLIO (intrigued) Ohhhh…

#1 0 A — D e l i l ah’ s R o o m

DELILAH (narrating) While I was waiting for my Mom to get home and lose it because I was suspended, I distracted myself by sorting the mail. That’s when I saw it: a Christmas card, from my dad. On the front was a photo of him with his new and improved step-daughter.

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— 81 —

ACT 1 SCENE 12: DELILAH’S RENTAL HOUSE

DELILAH is in the kitchen, holding the Christmas card as GRACE enters.

GRACE (furiously) Delilah Eve McPhee, what the hell is going on? You got suspended?

DELILAH So you’re not even going to listen to my side?

GRACE I got fired by the McAndrews…

DELILAH What?

GRACE (picks up the book) … because of this book? You’re too old for fairytales. And in real life, we just lost half our income.

DELILAH I could get a job—

GRACE I already picked up a night shift.

DELILAH But what about school?

GRACE I quit.

#1 1 — I ’ m N o t Th r o u g h

DELILAH Mom, you can’t. I’ll help you. We’ll figure something out—

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GRACE I didn’t give up seventeen years of my life so that you could throw away yours.

I CAN’T BELIEVE I LOST MY JOB BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER HAD AN ARGUMENT NOT WHEN WE CAN’T PAY OUR RENT.

DELILAH I know, but—

GRACE YOU THINK I’M HAPPY SCRUBBING FLOORS TO BARELY PAY THE BILLS YOUR FATHER OWES? WELL THAT’S NOT THE WAY THAT IT GOES

DELILAH FORGET IT.

GRACE HEY! I’M NOT THROUGH DELILAH LISTEN TO ME! I’M NOT THROUGH

DELILAH YOU NEVER LET ME SPEAK!

GRACE DON’T KNOW WHY

GRACE & DELILAH NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY!

GRACE IT’S ALWAYS THE SAME BATCH OF DISAPPOINTMENT NOTHING IN LIFE’S EVER FAIR AND I’M NOT THROUGH

DELILAH Mom, if you’d just listen—

GRACE I NEVER MEANT TO END UP HERE

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(GRACE) I MISS MY HOUSE, MY KID, THE LIFE HE STOLE AND FEELING LIKE I HAD A ROLE

DELILAH ME TOO!

GRACE BUT LIFE IS NOT SOME FAIRYTALE IT ISN’T MAGIC IF YOU MARRY WELL IT’S SOME CRAZY VERSION OF HELL

DELILAH I can’t listen to this right now.

GRACE WELL, I’M NOT THROUGH!

DELILAH DON’T WANNA ARGUE WITH YOU!

GRACE I’M NOT THROUGH!

DELILAH DON’T WANNA BLAME YOU!

GRACE & DELILAH PLEASE JUST TRY TO TAKE IT EASY ON ME

GRACE I USED TO BE NEEDED FOR EV’RYTHING AND NOW YOU DON’T NEED ME AT ALL AND I’M NOT THROUGH…

(noticing the Christmas card) WHAT IS THAT?

DELILAH DAD SENT THIS

GRACE YOUR FATHER SENT THIS?

— 83 —

— 84 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH YEAH.

GRACE HE SENT THIS TO ME?

DELILAH NO, NOT TO YOU HE SENT IT TO US

GRACE THAT’S EXACTLY THE THING I DO NOT NEED TO SEE!

DELILAH MOM, WAKE UP GET OVER YOURSELF I’M ANGRY TOO, IT’S NOT JUST YOU!

GRACE YOU’RE STILL A CHILD

GRACE

DELILAH I’M NOT A CHILD!

YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND

DELILAH I UNDERSTAND PLENTY I GOT STUCK WITH YOU.

GRACE You what?

GRACE

DELILAH

I’M NOT THROUGH!

YOU’RE NOT THROUGH EXACTLY THAT’S THE POINT, MOM

I’M NOT THROUGH!

YOU’RE NOT THROUGH

DELILAH INSTEAD YOU’RE ACTING LIKE THE WORLD IS THROUGH YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO CARE AND NOW YOU ARE BARELY AWARE YOU’RE ALWAYS WAY TOO CAUGHT UP IN YOURSELF TO NOTICE ANYONE

DELILAH storms off.

Between The Lines

GRACE BUT I’M NOT THROUGH.

DELILAH is revealed on the roof.

— 85 —

— 86 —

Between The Lines

ACT 1 SCENE 13: THE ROOF OUTSIDE DELILAH’S BEDROOM

She opens the fairytale to page 43. PRINCE OLIVER enters.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah! Good news! I asked Rapskullio to—

(noticing she’s upset) Are you… crying?

DELILAH (despondent, overwhelmed) Everyone thinks I’m crazy because I spend all my time lost in a fairytale.

PRINCE OLIVER Well, I’m not crazy and I spend all my time lost in a fairytale.

DELILAH Ollie, it’s not funny.

PRINCE OLIVER We’ll fix it, together.

DELILAH How?

#1 2 — A W h o l e N e w S t o r y You live in a book. I’m stuck in the real world.

PRINCE OLIVER Yes, but—

DELILAH Ollie, I can’t do this.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah. Please don’t shut me out—

Between The Lines

DELILAH IF I COULD CHANGE MY STORY I’D START IT OVER HERE AND NOW I’D LISTEN TO THE WORLD AND GET BACK ON TRACK I’D DITCH THE MAKE BELIEVE AND ACCEPT THE HARSH REALITY I’D STAY INSIDE THE LINES AND NEVER LOOK BACK NO ONE WOULD CARE NO ONE WOULD KNOW NO ONE WOULD SEE ME LET HIM GO

DELILAH closes the book; PRINCE OLIVER exits.

IT’D BE A WHOLE NEW STORY IN BLACK AND WHITE I’D CHANGE MY MIND AND SEE THAT THEY WERE RIGHT A WHOLE NEW STORY THERE’S NO MAGIC SPELL SO I’D LEAVE HIM BEHIND AS WELL OR WHAT IF I ESCAPE WITH NOTHING BUT THIS FAIRYTALE AND FIND A PLACE TO HIDE… SOMEWHERE BETTER THAN HERE I WOULDN’T BE ALONE HE’D ONLY BE A PAGE AWAY AND I’D ALWAYS FEEL AT HOME AS LONG AS HE’S NEAR SOMEONE TO CARE SOMEONE TO KNOW SOMEONE TO NEVER LET ME GO IT’D BE A WHOLE NEW STORY WITH ALL I NEED I’D BUILD MY WORLD AROUND THE WORDS I READ

— 87 —

— 88 —

Between The Lines

(DELILAH) A WHOLE NEW STORY HE’D KNOW HOW I FEEL STILL NOTHING COULD MAKE HIM REAL IF I COULD WRITE IT MY WAY I’D HAVE A BETTER FATHER I’D EMPTY OUT HIS BEDROOM AND ERASE HIS OTHER FAM’LY I’D WRITE A BRAND NEW MOTHER WHO DOESN’T CRY AT DINNER I’D TAKE AWAY THE DAY JOBS THAT KEEP HER OUT ‘TIL MIDNIGHT AND IN THIS DIFF’RENT STORY EV’RYONE BELIEVES ME THERE WOULDN’T BE A DOCTOR WHO THINKS THAT I’M INSANE BUT PEOPLE WON’T CHANGE AND BOOKS STAY THE SAME AND STORIES CAN’T CHANGE WHY CAN’T THEY CHANGE?

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

WHY CAN’T MINE CHANGE?

AH

INTO A WHOLE NEW STORY THAT STARTS

AH, AH

RIGHT NOW WITH AN EVER AFTER AND A FINAL BOW

AH, AH

A WHOLE NEW STORY THAT I’M SAFE INSIDE

AH, AH

WITH NO NEED TO RUN AND HIDE

AH, AH

I CAN CHANGE MY STORY

HA, HA

SO I’LL START IT OVER, HERE AND NOW

HA

I’LL LISTEN TO MY HEART

HA, HA, HA

AND STAY RIGHT ON TRACK

OOH

SO I’LL TAKE THE MAKE BELIEVE

HA, HA

INSTEAD OF MY REALITY

HA, HA

I’LL SLIP BETWEEN THE LINES

HA, HA

AND NEVER

HA,

LOOK BACK!

HA, AH

Between The Lines

DELILAH falls like Alice in Wonderland landing in the book on page 59.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah!?

DELILAH Ollie?!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Um… ? Who’s she?

BLACK OUT END OF ACT 1

— 89 —

— 90 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 1: INSIDE THE BOOK

#1 2 A — En t r ’ a c t e The action starts with DELILAH having just landed in the fairytale.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah!?

DELILAH Ollie?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Um… ? Who’s she?

#1 3 — B e s t D ay E v e r

QUEEN MAUREEN What in the sainted name of science fiction is going on? Is that the reader?

LADY-IN-WAITING Who cares. This is the most exciting thing to happen since Gutenberg.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Seriously you guys. WHO. EVEN. IS. SHE?

PRINCE OLIVER Seraphima, um… this is…

FRUMP (stage whisper to PRINCE OLIVER) Cousin.

PRINCE OLIVER This is my cousin.

Between The Lines

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (relieved) Ohhhh!!! Your cousin!

(to Delilah) You and I are gonna be the best of friends.

FRUMP You probably don’t recognize me because of the curse…

DELILAH Frump!

She pats him on the head and, blissfully, FRUMP’s leg shakes with a scratch reflex.

The TROLL steps forward, beaming.

TROLL It is an honor, my lady. After years of Waiting for Godot, the plot finally advances.

OLIVER takes DELILAH’S hand.

PRINCE OLIVER I can’t believe you’re here.

DELILAH (suddenly recoiling) Wait, Ollie… am I dead?

RAPSKULLIO You are very much alive. And a most welcomed surprise, indeed!

WE HAVE NEVER HOSTED A STRANGER I’LL ADMIT IT’S QUITE A GAME CHANGER SO YOU SEE, IT’S VERY EXCITING WE WILL BE OUR UTMOST INVITING

WOMEN YES, MY DEAR

RAPSKULLIO WE’RE DELIGHTED TO SHOW YOU WHAT THE KINGDOM IS MADE OF

— 91 —

— 92 —

Between The Lines

WOMEN NOW YOU’RE HERE

RAPSKULLIO AND WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT IT’S GRAND

Two FAIRIES deliver a large canvas. DELILAH stands behind it as RAPSKULLIO paints a gown.

WOMEN OHH

RAPSKULLIO I WILL PAINT A GOWN SO EXQUISITE!

QUEEN MAUREEN YOU WILL LOOK DIVINE FOR YOUR VISIT!

RAPSKULLIO (speaking in a french accent) CETTE COULEUR WILL FLAUNT YOUR COMPLEXION

QUEEN MAUREEN May I say your hair is perfection?!

ALL SOMEONE NEW

QUEEN MAUREEN OH MY OLIVER, LOOK AT THIS ENCHANTING BEAUTY

ALL MUCH TO DO

QUEEN MAUREEN AND WE PROMISE YOU THIS DAY WILL BE

ALL OHH THE BEST DAY EVER

The two FAIRIES remove the canvas revealing DELILAH now wearing a gown worthy of a princess.

DELILAH WELL I’VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DO THIS BEFORE!

Between The Lines

— 93 —

(DELILAH) BUT LOOK AT THESE…

(she reveals bare feet)

MAUREEN & RAPSKULLIO THERE’S A REMEDY!

RAPSKULLIO SLIPPERS PLEASE!

The LADY-IN-WAITING offers DELILAH slippers.

ALL SHE’S A REVERIE

DELILAH

OLIVER

WOMEN

BEST DAY WOAH-OH

BEST DAY WOAH-OH

OH OH IT’S THE BEST

OH OH

RAPSKULLIO

AHH

AHH

AHH

AHH

DAY EVER, EVER, EVER BEST DAY WOAH-OH

BEST DAY WOAH-OH

OH OH

OH OH

SERAPHIMA (sarcastically) IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

FRUMP Welcome to the castle!

QUEEN MAUREEN Would you like a tour?

DELILAH Of course!

PRINCE OLIVER (taking DELILAH’S hand) YOU WILL LOVE THE VIEW FROM THE TOWER

FRUMP (taking DELILAH from PRINCE OLIVER) I WILL TAKE YOU UP TO YOUR BOWER

— 94 —

Between The Lines

RAPSKULLIO SHOW YOU WHERE THE JEWELS ARE HIDDEN

TROLL NO! YOU KNOW THE WEST WING’S FORBIDDEN!

PRINCE OLIVER (grabbing DELILAH’S hand again) FOLLOW ME! THIS IS ONE OF MY FAV’RITE SPOTS FOR THOUGHT AND REFLECTION

ALL WAIT AND SEE!

PRINCE OLIVER THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS WE CAN SPEND

ALL OH, THE BEST DAY EVER

DELILAH WELL I’VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DO THIS BEFORE!

DELILAH & WOMEN SEE THE SIGHTS!

PRINCE OLIVER & MEN ON THE PROMENADE

QUEEN MAUREEN ROWS OF KNIGHTS! DARLING, OH MY GOD.

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER BEST DAY! WOAH-OH OH OH

ALL AHH

PRINCE OLIVER & ALL BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

PRINCE OLIVER Care to dance?

Between The Lines

— 95 —

DELILAH I told you, I don’t dance.

PRINCE OLIVER But princesses are required to dance.

DELILAH You know I’m not a princess.

PRINCE OLIVER Yet.

The FAIRYTALE characters scramble to prepare a coronation which is led by a scepter wielding QUEEN MAUREEN.

DELILAH

ALL

IT’S THE BEST DAY

IT’S THE BEST DAY, IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER

IT’S THE BEST DAY

IT’S THE BEST DAY, IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER

IT’S THE BEST DAY

IT’S THE BEST DAY, IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER

IT’S THE BEST DAY

IT’S THE BEST DAY, IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER

OLIVER

IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER

BEST DAY EVER

PRINCE OLIVER presents DELILAH to QUEEN MAUREEN for coronation.

DELILAH is made a princess much to the chagrin of PRINCESS SERAPHIMA.

DELILAH ‘CAUSE I’VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DO THIS BEFORE

Ollie, could we have a minute alone?

PRINCE OLIVER Your wish is my command.

PRINCE OLIVER whisks DELILAH away to Ever After Beach. PRINCESS SERAPHIMA tries to wrestle QUEEN MAUREEN’S scepter away.

ALL IT’S THE BEST DAY! WHOAH-OH OH IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

— 96 —

Between The Lines

QUEEN MAUREEN (to SERAPHIMA, who holds scepter) Let go!

ALL IT’S THE BEST DAY! WOAH-OH OH OH! IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

SERAPHIMA & MAUREEN BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

TROLL & RAPSKULLIO BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

FRUMP BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

The FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS place a picnic blanket and exit as DELILAH and PRINCE OLIVER enter.

DELILAH (taking in this new bucolic location) It’s beautiful.

PRINCE OLIVER and DELILAH sit on blanket.

PRINCE OLIVER Alone, at last. Just you and me, and no one else.

IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER ‘CAUSE I’VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DO THIS BEFORE

PRINCE OLIVER leans in for a kiss just as FRUMP enters, pretending to serenade them with a mimed violin.

FRUMP We are so glad you’re not a child.

FRUMP exits.

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER BEST DAY WOAH-OH OH OH

PRINCE OLIVER IT’S THE BEST DAY EVER, EVER, EVER

Between The Lines

DELILAH WOAH-OH OH OH

PRINCE OLIVER IT’S THE—

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER BEST DAY WOAH-OH OH OH

PRINCE OLIVER IT’S THE BEST DAY

PRINCE OLIVER and DELILAH inch closer together.

DELILAH EVER

PRINCE OLIVER EVER

PRINCE OLIVER and DELILAH are faceto- face about to kiss...

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER EVER

They kiss.

DELILAH I can’t believe—

PRINCE OLIVER That was incredible—

DELILAH Sorry—

PRINCE OLIVER You go.

DELILAH No, you.

PRINCE OLIVER That was incredible.

— 97 —

— 98 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH That was my first real kiss.

PRINCE OLIVER Mine too.

#1 4 — I n M y P e r f e c t W o r l d ( R e p r i s e )

DELILAH This has gotta be a dream.

PRINCE OLIVER leans in, and kisses DELILAH again.

PRINCE OLIVER Did that feel like a dream?

DELILAH (meaning it’s too good to be real) Yes.

PRINCE OLIVER WE’RE FACE TO FACE IN THE SAME TIME AND SPACE WE’RE FINALLY TOGETHER

DELILAH

PRINCE OLIVER

IT CAN’T GET ANY BETTER

NOW THAT WE’RE IN

PRINCE OLIVER MY PERFECT WORLD YOU’RE MY LOVELY PRINCESS IN MY PERFECT WORLD NOW OUR LIVES CAN BEGIN

DELILAH MY HEARTBEAT IS WHIRLING I FEEL CLOSE TO TWIRLING SO HAPPY TO BE HERE

PRINCE OLIVER IN MY PERFECT WORLD

Between The Lines

— 99 —

(PRINCE OLIVER) He kisses DELILAH deeply. (kneeling) Delilah McPhee, will you—

A bone is tossed onto the stage. FRUMP stomps on annoyed.

FRUMP (to SERAPHIMA, offstage) For God’s sake Seraphima! If you just want me to bring it back to you, why do you keep throwing it?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA enters.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Cuz you’re a good doggie, Frumpy.

FRUMP Still not a dog.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah, will you—

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA What is he doing?!

DELILAH What are you doing?

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah McPhee, will you marry me?

DELILAH & PRINCESS SERAPHIMA What?!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (disgusted) She’s your… cousin!!!!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA dashes off crying.

— 100 —

Between The Lines

FRUMP Sera, wait!

FRUMP chases after her.

PRINCE OLIVER So, is that a yes?

DELILAH I… Um…

Before DELILAH can answer, ONDINE interrupts from OFFSTAGE.

ONDINE (O.S.) Girl! What, what, what are you doing?

DELILAH Who’s that?

#1 5 — D o I t For Y o u

PRINCE OLIVER Oh no, not them.

ONDINE, KYRIE, and MARINA enter.

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA BA-DUM BUM BA-DA-DUM BUM AH OOH BA-DUM BUM BA-DA-DUM BUM AH-OOH

ONDINE Did I just hear what I think I did?

DELILAH Oliver proposed and—

ONDINE He wants you to be his princess?

Between The Lines

KYRIE Classic man! Shoving us into his ideal stereotypes.

MARINA Say? How old are you?

DELILAH Seventeen.

KYRIE And you’re gonna tie yourself down to some guy for the rest of your life?

MARINA What’s wrong with you?

ONDINE What’s wrong with her?

PRINCE OLIVER (aside) How come there’s never a sea witch around when you need one?

(to Delilah) We could live happily ever after, Delilah. Don’t listen to them.

MARINA Ha! Isn’t it just like a man to tell a woman what to do?!

KYRIE Men! Can’t live with ‘em—

ONDINE Can’t legally drown ‘em!

MARINA Girl! What do you really know about this guy?

KYRIE How did you even get here?

— 101 —

— 102 —

Between The Lines

ONDINE What makes you think you need a prince to rescue you?

DO YOU WANNA WAKE UP ONE DAY TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU WANNA SEE A LIFE YOU DON’T KNOW?

KYRIE & MARINA AH OOH

ONDINE ‘CAUSE YOU DIDN’T TAKE YOUR OWN PATH YOU TOOK SOMEONE ELSE’S AND YOU THINK OF ALL YOU LET GO

KYRIE & MARINA AH OOH

KYRIE WHATCHA HAFTA SEE IN YOURSELF IS YOU HAVE A PURPOSE AND YOU GOTTA MAKE YOURSELF HEARD

KYRIE, ONDINE, & MARINA AH OOH

KYRIE C’MON IF THERE’S SOMETHIN’ YOU WANT GIRL REACH OUT AND TAKE IT IF YA WANT MY HELP SAY THE WORD

ONDINE, MARINA AH OOH

MARINA

KYRIE & ONDINE

YOU–HOO

—HOO

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM MEY, HEY

—HEY

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM HER, HER

—HER

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM US ALL OF US

ALL OF US!

YOU, HOO NEED TO LISTEN TO ME

—HOO

LISTEN UP WHATEVA, WHATEVA

HOO, HOO

WHATEVA YOU DO

HOO, DO

Between The Lines

— 103 —

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA DO IT FOR YOU HOO-OOH HOO

ONDINE YOU GOTTA MAKE A CHOICE DON’T LET ‘EM DO IT FOR YOU

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA DO IT FOR YOU HOO-OOH OOH

ONDINE GOTTA TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND DON’T LET ‘EM DO IT FOR YOU

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA BA-DUM BUM, BA-DA-DUM BUM, AH OOH BA-DUM BUM, BA-DA-DUM BUM, AH-OOH

PRINCE OLIVER attempts to whisk DELILAH away.

PRINCE OLIVER Great advice, friends. We truly appreciate it. But Delilah and I were just having a very important conversation…

DELILAH crosses to the MERMAIDS, drawn by their siren song, much to the frustration of PRINCE OLIVER.

ONDINE DO YA WANNA BE LIKE THE GIRL WHO HAS NO AMBITION? DOESN’T EVER DARE TO BE BOLD?

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA AH OOH

KYRIE GOT A LITTLE CAUGHT UP IN LOVE LIVIN’ IN A DAYDREAM ONLY EVER DOES WHAT SHE’S TOLD

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA AH-OOH

— 104 —

Between The Lines

MARINA

ONDINE, KYRIE

YOU–HOO

—HOO

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM MEY, HEY

—HEY

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM HER, HER

—HER

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM US ALL OF US

ALL OF US

YOU-HOO NEED TO LISTEN TO ME

—HOO

LISTEN UP LISTEN UP WHATEVA, WHATEVA, WHATEVA YOU DO

HOO, HOO, HOO, DO

DO IT FOR YOU-HOO-OOH HOO

DO IT FOR YOU-HOO-OOH HOO

YOU GOTTA THINK IT THROUGH DON’T LET ‘IM DO IT FOR YOU DO IT FOR YOU-HOO-OOH HOO

DO IT FOR YOU-HOO-OOH HOO

GOTTA DO WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU DON’T LET ‘IM DO IT FOR YOU

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA GIRL YOU GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU GOTTA GOTTA, GOTTA DO YOU GIRL YOU GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU GOTTA GOTTA, GOTTA DO YOU

ONDINE Honey, love is like a tidal wave.

DELILAH Because it sweeps you off your feet?

ONDINE Oh, hell no—

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA LOVE IS A TIDAL WAVE IT’LL DRAG YOU UNDER HOLDIN’ YOU DOWN WHILE YOU DROWN MAKES YOU START TO WONDER LOVE IS A TIDAL WAVE IT’LL DRAG YOU UNDER HOLDIN’ YOU DOWN WHILE YOU DROWN

Between The Lines

— 105 —

(ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA) MAKES YOU START TO WONDER

ONDINE (riffing) YAH

MARINA GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU

KYRIE DO YOU!

MARINA GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU

KYRIE DO YOU!

MARINA HOO HOO

ONDINE (riffing) AH YAHHH

MARINA GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU

KYRIE DO YOU!

MARINA GOTTA GOTTA DO YOU

KYRIE DO YOU!

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA HEY HEY HEY

DELILAH & ONDINE DO IT FOR YOU-HOO OOH

KYRIE & MARINA YOU HOO YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM MEY, HEY

YOU GOTTA THINK IT THROUGH

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM HER, HER

— 106 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH & ONDINE

KYRIE & MARINA

DON’T LET ‘IM DO IT FOR YOU

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM US ALL OF US

DO IT FOR YOU-HOO-OOH

YOU-HOO NEED TO LISTEN TO ME LISTEN UP LISTEN UP

GOTTA DO WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU

WHATEVA

DON’T LET ‘IM DO IT FOR YOU

WHATEVA, WHATEVA YOU DO

ONDINE Honey, you better think about how you got here, and how you’re gonna get home. Here’s a hint: marrying a prince isn’t the answer. Oh, hell no—

ONDINE, KYRIE, & MARINA WHATEVA WHATEVA WHATEVA YOU DO!

DELILAH Ollie, they’re right. I can’t marry you.

MARINA Ooooh! And… here we go.

DELILAH (pulls away) Wait. How did I get here?

PRINCE OLIVER I asked Rapskullio to paint you onto his canvas. Whatever he draws appears in our world.

You said you wanted to be with me—

PRINCE OLIVER kneels to propose.

MARINA Hey Kyrie, you know what they call it when a man tells a woman what she wants?

KYRIE Uh-huh: Correctile disfunction.

ONDINE, KYRIE, and MARINA laugh.

Between The Lines

DELILAH But Ollie, I left everything else behind --

(a realization) Oh my God! My mom! I abandoned her like… like my dad did. I can’t stay here!

DELILAH starts to exit.

PRINCE OLIVER Where are you going?

DELILAH If Rapskullio got me here, he must know a way to get me out.

DELILAH exits. PRINCE OLIVER dashes after her.

ONDINE Our work here is done.

(they exit)

#1 5 A — D o I t For Y o u T a g

— 107 —

— 108 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 2: RAPSKULLIO’S LAIR

RAPSKULLIO enters, humming joyfully. He steps on something (music ping).

Unconcerned, he takes another step (another music ping). One more step (a final music ping). He lifts his foot only find FRANCINE stuck to the sole of his shoe.

#1 6 — B u t t e r f l i e s R e p r i s e

RAPSKULLIO (screaming in horror) Nooooooo!!! Francine?!

HAPPY LITTLE FLAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES SWEET AND JUST AS FRAGILE AS CAN BE OOOH HUM A MOURNFUL DITTY OH! MY! GOD! WHAT AN AWFUL PITY HAPPY LITTLE FLAPPY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES…

The butterfly’s wing twitches…

WHAT IS THIS? OH FRANCINE! COULD IT BE?

… twitches again.

HAPPY LITTLE

And again.

FLAPPY LITTLE

And again.

BUTTERFLIES

FRANCINE flutters away.

DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE DEE-DEE YAY!!!

DELILAH enters.

DELILAH Rapskullio, I need you to send me home.

RAPSKULLIO Ah! Yes! Of course, of course—

Between The Lines

— 109 —

DELILAH So you can do it?

RAPSKULLIO Me? Oh God, no.

PRINCE OLIVER enters.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah!

DELILAH Oliver, I’m stuck here.

PRINCE OLIVER No, you’re not. Rapskullio paints butterflies onto his canvas because they don’t exist in our world.

RAPSKULLIO The author thought to include mosquitos, but not a single monarch.

PRINCE OLIVER But every time the book is opened, those butterflies disappear.

RAPSKULLIO And since you play no part in our little fiction, you too will surely be ejected.

PRINCE OLIVER (taking DELILAH’s hand) You could be leaving any minute.

RAPSKULLIO I’ll give you two some privacy.

RAPSKULLIO exits.

#1 7 — S o me t hi ng t o H o l d O n T o

PRINCE OLIVER You were right. It’s harder to lose someone when you know what you’re missing.

— 110 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH Do you have to be so damn perfect?

PRINCE OLIVER (earnest) It’s how I was written.

DELILAH How much time do you think we have?

PRINCE OLIVER Not enough. Delilah McPhee, will you please dance with me?

JUST THIS ONCE, BEFORE YOU GO JUST ONE DANCE, IT’S ONLY YOU AND ME DON’T BE SCARED I’LL HELP YOU THROUGH I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO

PRINCE OLIVER guides DELILAH in a tentative waltz.

ALL MY LIFE, I NEVER DREAMED THAT I COULD BE AS HAPPY AS THIS, AS THIS I’M RIGHT HERE, ALWAYS FOR YOU THIS IS OUR SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO

They waltz gorgeously, sweeping across the stage, in classic fairytale fashion.

HOLD ON TO ME HOLD ON TO ME THIS IS AS FREE AS I’LL EVER FEEL OH AND JUST BECAUSE IT’S FICTION DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT REAL TAKE MY HAND I’LL GUIDE THE WAY REST YOUR HEAD BE IN THE NOW, RIGHT NOW NOTHING ELSE CAN EVER UNDO THIS OUR SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO I’LL BE YOUR SOMETHING TO HOLD ON TO

PRINCE OLIVER kisses DELILAH. The book is opened.

Between The Lines

— 111 —

1 7 A — S o me t hi ng B a l l e t

RAPSKULLIO Book opening! Page sixty everyone! Places! Places! Chaos!

The book begins to reset.

The FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS scramble as they are thrown into places for (tableau 7).

PRINCE OLIVER HOLD ON TO ME

DELILAH I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO HOLD ON TO LIKE YOU

PRINCE OLIVER HOLD ON TO ME

Three ORDERLIES in hospital scrubs enter, tearing DELILAH away from PRINCE OLIVER. In movement that is more dance than blocking, PRINCE OLIVER is forced offstage by the resetting of the book. The ORDERLIES change DELILAH into her real world clothing and gingerly place her in a hospital gurney. GRACE is revealed sitting beside DELILAH, reading the fairytale book. PRINCE OLIVER and SERAPHIMA are revealed in an illustration on the last page of the book (tableau 7).

GRACE “Real fairytales are not for the faint hearted. But somehow, all that pain and suffering is worthwhile when it leads to the ending. Happily… Ever… After… ”

GRACE sighs; closes the book, the tableau fades.

— 112 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 3: INSIDE A HOSPITAL ROOM

The soundscape of a very real hospital drones as DELILAH suddenly sits up, dazed.

DELILAH Mom? Mom!

GRACE (great relief) Hey…

DELILAH Where am I? What happened?

GRACE You’re in the hospital. I found you lying outside on the ground…

(her eyes swell with tears) … D, were you trying to hurt yourself?

DELILAH No, Mom. I just… I go out on the roof when I need… when I need…

DELILAH covers her face with her hands, crying.

GRACE What, baby? What do you need?

DELILAH (releasing her anger) I don’t know! You’re the adult!

GRACE (matching her energy) That doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing!

(taking a deep breath; exhaling) I thought I’d lost you. I mean, really lost you. And I’d never forgive myself if anything like that…

GRACE is too emotional to continue speaking.

Between The Lines

— 113 —

DELILAH Mom, it’s okay.

GRACE No. It’s not. I am sorry. I have been so preoccupied with school and the shit with your father and I—

DELILAH Did you think you and Dad would be together forever?

GRACE (this is hard for her to admit) Yeah. I did.

(this is ever harder for her to admit) And the truth, Delilah? Sometimes I miss him… and I hate myself for that.

DELILAH How do you deal?

GRACE I… eat my feelings… I study… and I remind myself to take it one step at a time.

(takes a deep breath, wipes tears from her eyes and then...)

Did I ever tell you about the day you started walking?

#1 8 — Le a p s a n d B o u n d s

DELILAH No.

GRACE From the minute you began crawling, I followed you around with a video camera, so I could catch the moment you stood up. I was determined. But then…

THE VERY FIRST STEPS YOU TOOK HAPPENED WHILE MY BACK WAS TURNED YOU STOOD AND WALKED ALONE HOW COULD I MISS THAT MILESTONE PRETTY SOON YOU WERE RUNNING AND I’D TRAIL BEHIND

— 114 —

Between The Lines

(GRACE) AND I’D BE THERE TO CATCH YOU EV’RY TIME YOU’D STUMBLE I’D ALWAYS DRY YOUR TEARS I’D WALK BEHIND YOU THROUGH THE YEARS I SWORE I’D NEVER MISS OUT OR TURN AWAY AGAIN AND YOU WENT LEAPS AND BOUNDS YOU’D GO LEAPS AND BOUNDS AND I COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAST YOU GREW I TREASURED EV’RY MOMENT CHASING YOU WITH EACH LEAP AND BOUND I THOUGHT THAT I’D BE YOUR SOLID GROUND I’D ALWAYS KEEP YOU SAFE AND RIGHT ON TRACK AND NEVER TURN MY BACK BUT NOW WE’RE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD I MUST HAVE LOOKED AWAY AGAIN GOT CAUGHT UP IN IT ALL I WASN’T THERE TO CATCH YOUR FALL I’VE MADE MISTAKES, I’VE MISSED OUT AND NOW I TURN TO SEE HOW YOU’VE COME LEAPS AND BOUNDS YOU’VE COME LEAPS AND BOUNDS MAYBE YOU CAN’T SEE IT BUT, BOY, I DO I NEED TO SAY HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU ONE MORE LEAP AND BOUND AND YOU’LL BECOME YOUR SOLID GROUND I PROMISE THAT I’M HERE, I’M LIST’NING NOW JUST NEEDED YOU TO HELP REMIND ME HOW NO ONE HANDS YOU A BOOK OF INSTRUCTIONS NOTHING’S CLEAR FROM THE MOMENT WE CRAWL AND SOME MOTHER’S TEARS TRICKLE DOWN TO THEIR CHILDREN

Between The Lines

— 115 —

(GRACE) I KNOW THAT YOU’VE BEEN SPARING MY FEELINGS I KNOW THAT YOU’VE BEEN HIDING YOUR OWN I SEE NOW THAT I’VE BEEN BUILDING UP WALLS BUT YOU’LL GO LEAPS AND BOUNDS AND I WON’T MISS ANOTHER STRIDE YOU’LL GO LEAPS AND BOUNDS AND I’LL BE RIGHT THERE BY YOUR SIDE I HOPE THAT YOU CAN SEE IT, BECAUSE IT’S TRUE YOU’RE REALLY SO AMAZING FROM MY POINT OF VIEW SO, SINCE YOU’VE GONE LEAPS AND BOUNDS IT’S TIME FOR ME TO LEAP AND HOPE I’M BOUND TO CATCH UP TO YOU

I love you.

DELILAH I love you more.

GRACE (smiling through tears) I love you most.

GRACE and DELILAH hug. SONG button.

The DOCTOR enters.

DOCTOR Good news! It’s just a mild concussion. Delilah needs a couple of days of bedrest. Mrs. McPhee, if you’ll come with me, we’ll sign some paperwork and talk about some options for therapeutic support.

GRACE Of course.

(to DELILAH) I’ll be right back. Rest.

— 116 —

Between The Lines

#1 8 A — B o o k Ope n i n g GRACE rises, sets the book on a chair next to DELILAH, and exits with the DOCTOR. DELILAH picks up the book, staring at the cover, questioning if what she experienced inside the book was real. There’s only one way to find out. DELILAH opens the book.

PRINCE OLIVER appears on page 43 (tableau 1). There’s no “HELLO!” No movement from PRINCE OLIVER whatsoever. Has he lost the ability to speak to DELILAH?

DELILAH Ollie?

(he doesn’t respond) Ollie?! Can you hear me?

(stillness and silence from PRINCE OLIVER) Oliver?!

(desperate) Ollie!!!

PRINCE OLIVER (emotionally broken) I can hear you, Delilah.

DELILAH (relieved) Oh, my God! I thought I’d lost you! I thought this was all in my head!

PRINCE OLIVER It might as well be. You were right. We can’t be together.

DELILAH Ollie, are you okay?

PRINCE OLIVER No, Delilah. I’m not! When I close my eyes you’re still with me. But when I open them and see that you’re gone, I’m… gutted.

DELILAH I’m right here.

Between The Lines

PRINCE OLIVER Yes. You’re there. Where I never will be.

#1 8 B — S o me t hi n g t o H o l d O n T o ( R e p r i s e ) SOMEDAY SOON YOU’LL FALL IN LOVE SOMEDAY SOON YOU’LL HAVE FORGOTTEN ME SOMEONE REAL WILL TREASURE YOU HE’LL BE YOUR SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO

DELILAH (through tears) This is not our ending.

PRINCE OLIVER It certainly feels like one.

(tears fill his eyes) Delilah, please close the book. I’d like to be alone.

DELILAH But Ollie—

PRINCE OLIVER (forcefully) Delilah, please!

DELILAH closes the book.

— 117 —

— 118 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 4: INSIDE THE BOOK

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA enters searching for FRUMP.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Frump? Frumpy?

FRUMP enters, assuming she’s looking for PRINCE OLIVER yet again.

FRUMP (dismissively) Listen, Seraphima, I don’t know where Ollie is.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA No, I’m looking for you.

FRUMP Really?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (sits, despondent yet vulnerable) If Ollie’s marrying his cousin, then what happens to me?

FRUMP Maybe you’re meant to be with… someone else.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA But he’s the prince, and I’m the princess.

FRUMP You’re so much more than just a princess, Seraphima. Don’t you want someone to love you for who you are, not what you are?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA I guess I never will dance at a ball.

FRUMP Sure you will.

#1 9 — Out of C ha r a c t e r

Between The Lines

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA With who?

FRUMP Me!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Frumpy, dogs don’t dance.

FRUMP I’m more than just a dog. Why do you keep treating me like I’m neutered?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA What’s that?

FRUMP It’s when they…

(gesturing with a snip) … never mind.

(sighs) Let me say it another way—

FRUMP drags a pinao up out of the stage.

IF I WANTED TO DO A TAP DANCE THAT MIGHT BE QUITE OUT OF CHARACTER BUT OH, WHAT FUN IT WOULD BE TO TAP DANCE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAP OUT OF CHARACTER WITH ME?

FRUMP tap dances briefly.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA Frumpy?! You need to get your nails clipped.

FRUMP IF A DOG WERE ABOUT TO TAKE A STAND HE WOULD BE OUT OF CHARACTER BUT I’VE GOT SOMETHING I HAVE TO STAND FOR! SO I’LL DARE TO STAND OUT OF CHARACTER ‘CAUSE YOU MAKE MY TAIL GO…

(shakes his tail)

— 119 —

— 120 —

Between The Lines

(FRUMP) YOU MAKE MY KNEES GO…

(moves knees) YOU MAKE MY EV’RYTHING GO SO FAR OUT OF CHARACTER AND I’VE GOT SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU IT’S BOUND TO SOUND OUT OF CHARACTER AND I’M SURE EV’RYONE ELSE CAN TELL BUT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOU WROO WROO-WROO WROO-WROO-WROO-WROO WROO SO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOU

Emboldened, FRUMP convinces PRINCESS SERAPHIMA of his love through an elaborate, show stopping, tap dance seduction.

I WON’T DREAM THAT YOU’LL EVER LOVE ME BACK YOU’D BE TOO OUT OF CHARACTER BUT I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SHOUT IT OUT! I KNOW I’M OUT OF MY MIND YOU’RE OUT OF MY LEAGUE I’M OUTTA LUCK ‘CAUSE I’LL ALWAYS BE SO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOU SO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOU SO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR…

FRUMP is face-to-face with PRINCESS SERAPHIMA, will they kiss???

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (surprisingly deeply attracted) Frumpy, you seem so… so…

FRUMP (leans in closer for a kiss) So what?

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA (desperately smitten) So human.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA moves in for the kiss. FRUMP, overwhelmed with excitement, pulls away in celebration of his success.

Between The Lines

— 121 —

FRUMP YES!

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA grabs FRUMP’S hand, shoots him a come hither glance, and drags him offstage.

#1 9 A — Out of C h a r a c t e r ( P l a y o f f )

DELILAH (narrating) You’d think bedrest would be a dream come true. But when you have a concussion you also can’t look at screens, and worst of all, you’re not allowed to read. I was almost looking forward to being back at school, until Dr. Ducharme asked to meet with me.

— 122 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 5: DR. DUCHARME’S OFFICE

DELILAH sits in DR. DUCHARME’S office.

DR. DUCHARME I owe you an apology. Jules showed me Martin’s last post. He took a—

DELILAH Mental health break?

DR. DUCHARME Oh no. He was straight-up suspended.

DELILAH (disbelieving) You really just called me in here to say you were sorry? Not because I fell off my roof?

DR. DUCHARME You what?

DELILAH (she has backed herself into a corner) It wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine. Anyway, thanks for the talk…

DELILAH stands, attempting to exit.

DR. DUCHARME Nice try… sit down. What were you doing on the roof?

DELILAH I go out there to read.

DR. DUCHARME The fairytale?

DELILAH Maybe?

DR. DUCHARME Delilah, did you fall on purpose?

Between The Lines

— 123 —

DELILAH No. I wasn’t trying to hurt myself. But these days I feel like I’m falling even when my feet are on the ground.

DR. DUCHARME Tell me more about that.

DELILAH I’ve been in this town for half a year, and it still doesn’t feel like home. I just don’t think I belong here.

DR. DUCHARME I’m gonna prescribe something for you.

(writing on a notepad; smiling impishly) This should help.

DELILAH (rolling her eyes) Great. Just medicate me.

DR. DUCHARME Doctor’s orders.

(hands her paper) Read it.

DELILAH (reading the note out loud) This is a forced mandate for human interaction, beginning with creative writing club.

(school bell) DELILAH and DR. DURCHARME exit.

Transition to the HALLWAY.

— 124 —

Between The Lines

#2 0 — I n n e r Th o u g h t s ( R e p r i s e ) JANICE, ALLIE, MARTIN, and RYAN cross through the hall. A pin light isolates an excited JANICE as we hear her inner thoughts.

JANICE DEBRA, AGREED TO BE MY TRAINER

A pin light highlights ALLIE; we hear her inner thoughts.

ALLIE I’M CATFISHING A STRANGER

A pin light highlights MARTIN; we hear her inner thoughts.

MARTIN SHE THINKS THAT IT’S A STRANGER BUT IT’S ME

A pin light highlights RYAN; who thinks out loud because he has no inner thoughts.

RYAN … LAST WEEK I HAD A SPOOKY NIGHTMARE AND SLEEP-WALKED TO MY NEIGHBOR’S AND SET OFF HER ALARM (IT WAS LOUD) SHE THOUGHT I WAS A GHOST AND SHE RAN OUT TO HER CAR AND SHE DROVE AWAY AND NOBODY HAS SEEN HER SINCE

MARTIN, JANICE, & ALLIE (looking at RYAN in horror) WHOA.

RYAN BUT THESE ARE JUST MY INNER THOUGHTS INNER THOUGHTS

MARTIN, JANICE, & ALLIE RYAN, THOSE WEREN’T INNER THOUGHTS

ALL INNER THOUGHTS YEAH, WE ALL HAVE INNER THOUGHTS THAT NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW NO, NO, NO

Between The Lines

— 125 —

(ALL) NO, NO, NO, NO KNOW, NO, NO, NO NO, NO…

MARTIN, JANICE, ALLIE, and RYAN exit as JULES and MS. WINX are revealed at a library table.

— 126 —

Between The Lines

ACT 2 SCENE 6: SCHOOL LIBRARY

DELILAH enters.

MS. WINX Jules, that short story you wrote. Who would have thought to make Venus de Milo the heroine of A Farewell to Arms…

DELILAH, having overheard this, finds JULES’ story thesis hysterical and genuinely laughs out loud.

Delilah! I’m so glad you’ve decided to join creative writing!

DELILAH I didn’t really have a choice.

(holding up DUCHARME’s “prescription”) Where is everyone?

JULES I’m the only member. The good news is the club agrees on everything. The bad news is…

(a wink in their eye) … we’re all sleeping with each other.

MS. WINX Okay! Let’s start with a five minute freewrite! Pencils up! And go!

MS. WINX exits as DELILAH and JULES begin writing. ALLIE and JANICE enter.

JANICE carries a bouquet of flowers, and a card. ALLIE nudges her towards DELILAH, they’re up to no good.

JANICE (too sincerely) Oh my god, Delilah! These flowers got delivered to the front office for you!

(playing dumb, giggling to ALLIE) I wonder who they’re from? Your crush?

JANICE hands DELILAH the bouquet.

DELILAH I don’t have a crush.

Between The Lines

— 127 —

ALLIE MCANDREWS (handing DELILAH a card) Look! There’s a card!

DELILAH takes the card and reads it. She looks up at ALLIE, hurt. JANICE and ALLIE laugh then strut off smiling; their work here is done.

JULES snatches the card.

JULES (reading) “Dear Delilah, sorry you jumped off your roof… and lived.”

(snaps their focus to DELILAH) You realize you don’t have to listen to them.

DELILAH It’s not going to stop them from talking.

JULES No, because people see what they wanna see. Shapes in clouds, Jesus in their toast.

(shrugs) Look, when you’re different, just existing is a daily act of courage. That’s why I’m gonna be the protagonist of my own story. Why can’t you be the protagonist of yours?

DELILAH What?

JULES Why don’t you just admit you have a boyfriend?

DELILAH What makes you think I have a boyfriend?

JULES Because for the last few weeks you’ve been dancing through the hallways mumbling the name Oliver. I’m guessing that’s not your orthodontist.

DELILAH You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

— 128 —

Between The Lines

JULES Try me.

DELILAH Oliver is a character in a fairytale.

JULES (a realization) So that’s why you were talking to your book in the cafeteria.

DELILAH You don’t think that’s weird?

JULES It’s so weird. But who hasn’t had a literary crush? I once had a dream about Luna Lovegood, from Harry Potter. She was into some really weird stuff.

DELILAH No. It’s not like that. I think that… we’re meant to be together.

JULES That’s cool.

#2 1 — A l l i e M c A n d r e w s

DELILAH Really? Cuz Allie and her minions think I’m crazy.

JULES Who cares what they think.

IT MIGHT SEEM NICE BEING IN A GROUP LIKE THAT WITH TONS OF FRIENDS WHO TRUST YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT LIFE ENTAILS WITH THE PRINCESS HAIR AND THE PERFECT NAILS BUT YOU CAN’T BE PART OF THEIR FAIRYTALES NO O-O OH OH, OH OH

Between The Lines

(JULES) (in mock horror) ‘CAUSE WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS YOU’RE LIKE A TOTAL PARIAH WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS YOUR LIFE IS OVER, AND YOU FIT ALL THE CRITERIA FOR SOCIAL SIBERIA AH AH WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE IN HIGH SCHOOL HELL

Look. Their best memories have already happened. Ours haven’t even begun.

DELILAH But they’re normal!

JULES Normal is a dryer setting. Why are you letting them define who you are?

DELILAH Oh my God! You’re so right!

THEY CROWD AROUND BUZZING LIKE A KIND OF SWARM THEY CLUSTER UP LIKE DARK CLOUDS BEFORE A STORM AND YEAH THEY LOOK GOOD IN THEIR SKINNY JEANS BUT THEY PRIMP AND THEY POSE LIKE THEY’RE BEAUTY QUEENS AND THEY LIVE TO PERFORM FOR THEIR TINY SCREENS WOAH-OH OH-OH OH OH-OH! BUT, WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS YOU DON’T OBSESS OVER LIP GLOSS WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS

JULES YOU USE THE BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD SO DROWN OUT THE CHEERING SQUADS OF “SELFIES!” AND “OH MY GAH AH AHDS!” WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE MCANDREWS

— 129 —

— 130 —

Between The Lines

JULES & DELILAH YOU’LL FIND YOUR WAY AND YOU’LL BE OKAY! WE’LL BE OKAY WOAH-OH OH-OH-OH OH!

JULES, DELILAH, & ENSEMBLE NA, NA, NA, NA, NA WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY NA, NA, NA, NA, NA WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY NA, NA, NA, NA, NA WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY NA, NA, NA, NA, NA WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY

JULES So, what are you going to do about your book boyfriend?

DELILAH I’m gonna get to get him out.

JULES How?

DELILAH I’ll… write him a new ending.

JULES But how are you going to change a story you didn’t write? That’s just fan-fiction.

DELILAH You’re right.

JULES Why don’t you go to the source?

DELILAH You mean the author? Jessamyn Jacobs? How’s that gonna happen?

Between The Lines

— 131 —

JULES (taking out their phone) Hey Siri? Where does Jessamyn Jacobs live?

(Siri searches) Boom. She’s an hour from here.

DELILAH Seriously? But I don’t have a car.

JULES So take mine.

DELILAH I don’t have a license.

JULES So what?

OUTCAST AND EXILED BUT FREE

STUDENTS enter, crossing through the hallway, focused on their devices.

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

FREE!

YOU’RE THE ENEMY

JULES RULING THE OUTSIDE WITH ME

JANICE YOU’RE THE ENEMY

JULES IF NO ONE CAN HEAR YA IN SOCIAL SIBERIA THEN SCREAM

JULES & DELILAH

JANICE

SCREAM! WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

BLAH BLAH BLAH

ALLIE MCANDREWS

ALLIE MCANDREWS

JULES & DELILAH THEN WHY NOT DANCE IN THE HALLWAY?

— 132 —

Between The Lines

JULES & DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

ALLIE MCANDREWS

ALLIE MCANDREWS

JULES & DELILAH THEN YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN RULES ‘CAUSE NO ONE’S THE BOSS OF YOU

ENSEMBLE OOH

JULES & DELILAH SHE’S NO ONE SHE’S ALLIE WHO-OOH-OOH?

JULES & DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE

ALLIE MCANDREWS

MCANDREWS

DELILAH I MIGHT GET THROUGH WITH A

NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH

FRIEND LIKE

JULES, DELILAH

YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE

WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

MCANDREWS

ALLIE MCANDREWS

JULES YOU MIGHT GET THROUGH WITH A FRIEND LIKE

JULES, DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

WHEN YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF

YOU’RE THE ENEMY OF ALLIE

ALLIE MCANDREWS

MCANDREWS

JULES & DELILAH I MIGHT GET THROUGH WITH A FRIEND LIKE YOU!

JULES tosses DELILAH the keys to their car. GRACE enters. DELILAH turns to exit, only to find herself face-to-face with GRACE.

Between The Lines

— 133 —

GRACE Absolutely not. And here I thought I would surprise my daughter with a ride home so she doesn’t have to take the bus… and instead I find her contemplating grand theft auto.

DELILAH Mom, I’m not stealing the car—

GRACE You don’t have a license!

DELILAH But Mom—

GRACE You do have a concussion—

DELILAH Mom!

GRACE This is what they mean when they say that the frontal lobe of the teenage brain isn’t done cooking until you’re in your twenties.

(taking a deep breath for patience) Delilah, you are not driving to a stranger’s house…

(smiling broadly) Alone.

(to JULES) Thank you.

(to DELILAH) You. Let’s go. I’m driving.

GRACE tosses the keys in the air and catches them as she exits. DELILAH turns back to JULES and tosses them their keys.

JULES I want all the details.

JULES exits.

— 134 —

Between The Lines

#2 2 — F r o m A l l i e t o J e s s a m y n

DELILAH (narrating) It took an hour to get to Jessamyn Jacob’s house. An hour that I spent in a confined space with my mother, answering all her questions, and telling her all the things I should have told her months ago.

(she smiles) Which turned out to be pretty great.

GRACE and DELILAH have arrived on the doorstep of JESSAMYN JACOBS. Do you think I should just ring the bell?

GRACE As opposed to breaking a window? Yes.

(giving her hand a squeeze) I’ll be waiting in the car. You’ve got this, kiddo. Remember—one step at a time.

GRACE starts to exit.

DELILAH Mom?

(GRACE turns) I love you.

GRACE I love you more.

DELILAH I love you most.

GRACE Oh my God. GO.

Between The Lines

— 135 —

ACT 2 SCENE 7: JESSAMYN JACOBS’ HOUSE

DELILAH rings the doorbell. Lights up on JESSAMYN JACOB’s house. JESSAMYN opens the door, suspicious.

JESSAMYN Can I help you?

DELILAH I hope so. My name’s Delilah, and I need to talk to you about your book—

JESSAMYN (cuts her off; she’s answered this before) Let me guess! The English teacher at the high school gave that assignment where you get extra credit for interviewing a living, breathing author.

(committed to ending this convo) Let me save you the trouble! Yes! I always wanted to be an author. My ideas come from questions that keep me up at night! And I had absolutely nothing to do with the casting of Cameron Diaz—

DELILAH (stopping her cold) This is about Between the Lines.

JESSAMYN (taken aback) How do you know about that book? I selfpublished a single copy—

DELILAH You mean this?

DELILAH presents the book.

JESSAMYN (looking at the book, puzzled) I wrote it for my son years ago, to help him through a tough time. But it got lost during our move here. Where did you find it?

DELILAH In my school library. And actually, well, it sort of found me.

— 136 —

Between The Lines

JESSAMYN Would you like to come in?

DELILAH That’d be great.

#2 2 A — I n t o J e s s a m y n ’ s H o u s e JESSAMYN and DELILAH enter the house. There is a writing desk on one side, covered with stacks of galleys. Next to the desk is an easel, with an unfinished illustrations JESSAMYN has been creating. On the other side of the room is a couch, with decorative pillows.

JESSAMYN It was sweet of you to return the book after all this time.

JESSAMYN reaches to take the book from DELILAH.

DELILAH (clutching it protectively) I’m not here to give it back. I came to ask if you’d ever consider… rewriting it?

JESSAMYN laughs; tickled at the naïve thought of rewriting a book that has already been published. Uncomfortable, DELILAH also laughs, but she’s serious.

JESSAMYN Oh! You’re serious! Look. The story isn’t mine to change. Maybe it belonged to me at first, but now it belongs to you… and anyone else who’s ever read it.

DELILAH (blurting; with passion) But it’s not a happy ending!

JESSAMYN (well knowing that it is a happy ending) It isn’t?

DELILAH I… I can’t explain why.

Between The Lines

— 137 —

JESSAMYN (curious) Try me.

#2 3 — C a n ’ t G e t ‘ E m O u t

DELILAH (looks down, slightly embarrassed) The characters from the book started… speaking to me. Well, one character in particular. I hear him all the time. And I thought that you might be the only person in the world who knows what that’s like.

(looking up at JESSAMYN) Do you?

JESSAMYN Oh, sweetie— I USED TO THINK, WOO! I MUST BE CRAZY WHERE’S MY MIND? I’VE LOST MY MARBLES ‘CAUSE I’M HEARING VOICES ALL THE TIME! I’D HEAR…

QUEEN MAUREEN enters.

QUEEN MAUREEN YOU! HAVE A MARTINI WITH THE QUEEN!

JESSAMYN AND THEN I’D THINK “WAIT… WHAT? HAVE I HAD TOO MUCH CAFFEINE?” THEN SUDDENLY

SERAPHIMA enters, with her fish. FRUMP follows.

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA SHHH! YOU GUYS, HE’S TAKING A NAP.

RAPSKULLIO and TROLL enter.

— 138 —

Between The Lines

JESSAMYN I’D BE SURROUNDED SURE THAT I HAD NOW BEGUN TO SNAP

RAPSKULLIO A BUTTERFLY! OOH! ANOTHER SPECIES! LOOK, FRANCINE!

JESSAMYN A SMUG

TROLL I LIKE THE HERO’S JOURNEY BUT THE PLOT’S A LITTLE LEAN

JESSAMYN

ENSEMBLE

THE VOICES I HEARD WERE MAKING NOISE

OOH

BUT MAKING SENSE! AND MAKING ME FORGET

AHH

TO GET MY KID FROM PRE-SCHOOL WHOOPS!

OOH

THEN I THOUGHT “SHOULD I GO TO A DOCTOR?” NO, WHAT THE HECK WOULD I SAY?

AHH

THAT I CAN’T GET ‘EM OUT

GET ‘EM OUT

GET ‘EM OUT

GET ‘EM OUT

GET ‘EM OUT OF MY HEAD

GET ‘EM OUT

(JESSAMYN) OF MY HEAD AND SO I’D ASK MYSELF

RAPSKULLIO, TROLL, MAUREEN, SERA A butterfly, ooh! Another species, look Francine. I like the hero’s journey but the plot’s a little lean. You! Have a martini with the queen! Shh, you guys he’s taking a nap!

JESSAMYN IF IT WAS ME WHO LET ‘EM IN WHY CAN’T I GET ‘EM OUT?

Between The Lines

DELILAH Wow, so you do get it!

JESSAMYN Yes! But, you know I finally wrote the fairytale and they quieted down.

(to the FAIRYTALE CHARACTERS) Shush!

(to FRUMP) Sit!

(to DELILAH) But, I understand. It can be very distractingWHEN OUT OF THE BLUE

DELILAH THEY ALL START

JESSAMYN, DELILAH FILLING UP YOUR BRAIN

JESSAMYN YOU WANNA STOP THEM THINKING THEY’LL KEEP

JESSAMYN, DELILAH DRIVING YOU INSANE!

JESSAMYN YES!

(JESSAMYN) YOU’RE TRYING TO

JESSAMYN, DELILAH SLEEP!

DELILAH BUT THEN YOU HEAR

PRINCE OLIVER enters.

PRINCE OLIVER ARE YOU AWAKE?

— 139 —

— 140 —

Between The Lines

I THINK I BROKE MY SWORD!

JESSAMYN YOU THINK

JESSAMYN, DELILAH “I’M FIN’LY GONNA BREAK!”

DELILAH BUT HEARING

PRINCE OLIVER HELLO! YOU’RE LOOKING LOVELY TODAY

DELILAH HE MAKES ME FEEL THINGS FEELINGS THAT I’D NEVER WISH AWAY

JESSAMYN HE SAYS THAT?

DELILAH UH-HUH WE MEET ON PAGE 43

JESSAMYN AND NOW YOU’RE

JESSAMYN, DELILAH HERE BECAUSE

DELILAH I THOUGHT YOU’D HELP ME BREAK HIM FREE

DELILAH (CONT’D)

ENSEMBLE

THE VOICES I HEAR

OOH AAH

ARE MAKING NOISE AND MAKING SENSE AND ALMOST MADE ME DRIVE A CAR WITHOUT A LICENSE

JESSAMYN, DELILAH WHOOPS!

DELILAH

ENSEMBLE

BUT MY MOM DROVE ME HERE JUST

OOH

TO MEET YOU

SAIL AWAY!

Between The Lines

DELILAH BUT I CAN’T

DELILAH / ENSEMBLE GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT

DELILAH OF MY HEAD

DELILAH, PRINCE OLIVER I’M ALWAYS THINKING OF HIM (YOU)

DELILAH I CAN’T GET HIM OUT

PRINCE OLIVER GET ME OUT!

DELILAH GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD AND SO I ASKED MYSELF IF IT WAS YOU WHO WROTE HIM IN WHY CAN’T YOU GET HIM OUT?

JESSAMYN Get him out?

DELILAH Yeah.

JESSAMYN Did you tell anyone about Oliver talking to you?

DELILAH My mom, but at first I SHUT HER OUT!

ENSEMBLE, JESSAMYN NO!

— 141 —

— 142 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH Yes-

JESSAMYN YOU SHUT HER OUT??

DELILAH Yes-

ENSEMBLE, JESSAMYN NO!

DELILAH Well, you see, I was afraid to tell her, ya know, because I KNEW SHE WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME WHY I HAD TO FIND YOU BUT YOU CREATED THE BOOK YOU WROTE HIM INTO THE STORY AND INTO EXISTENCE SO CAN’T YOU HELP GET HIM OUT?

JESSAMYN

ENSEMBLE

I’M SURE HE’S ALREADY OUT THERE

OOH

A PRINCE WITH A HEARTBEAT

DELILAH NO! IF YOU JUST RE-WRITE THE END?

JESSAMYN YOU GOTTA GET YOURSELF OUT

ENSEMBLE OOH

OF THE MESS YOU’RE IN

JESSAMYN/ENSEMBLE

DELILAH

‘CAUSE YOU

I CAN’T LEAVE HIM INSIDE

CAN’T GET HIM OUT

GET HIM OUT OF THE BOOK

GET HIM OUT

I CAN’T LEAVE HIM INSIDE

GET HIM OUT OF THE BOOK

GET HIM OUT

THERE’S SOMEONE WAITING FOR YOU

GET HIM OUT

YOU CAN’T GET HIM OUT

GET HIM OUT OF THE BOOK

GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT OF THE BOOK SO LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T GET HIM OUT

Between The Lines

— 143 —

JESSAMYN IT’S TIME TO LET HIM GO...

DELILAH slips between the lines, into a liminal space where she and OLIVER are able to communicate.

PRINCE OLIVER (excited to see her) Delilah!

DELILAH (excited as well) Ollie!

DELILAH

PRINCE OLIVER

I asked the—

I think I—

PRINCE OLIVER Sorry-

DELILAH You go.

PRINCE OLIVER No, you.

#2 3 A — B e t we e n T h e L i n e s ( R e p r i s e )

DELILAH I’m here with the author of your story. I asked her to rewrite the ending.

PRINCE OLIVER And?

DELILAH (struggling to deliver the bad news) Well… she told me she…

— 144 —

Between The Lines

PRINCE OLIVER (reading DELILAH’s body language) … She can’t do it.

DELILAH How did you know?

PRINCE OLIVER I think I’ve always known.

DELILAH (taking OLIVER’s hands) You weren’t written for me. You were written for her son.

PRINCE OLIVER But he stopped reading the book years ago.

(a sobering realization) Ah… and so will you.

DELILAH Ollie, when I pick up a book, I escape into someone else’s life. But by the end, I’ve learned something about my own.

(realizing this applies to her as well) That’s why you exist. Your story stays the same so that other people’s stories…

PRINCE OLIVER … Can change.

DELILAH YOU’LL STAY A PRINCE

OLIVER I’LL STAY A PRINCE

DELILAH I WON’T FORGET YOU.

OLIVER I WON’T FORGET YOU.

Between The Lines

— 145 —

DELILAH I NEVER KNEW WHAT

DELILAH & PRINCE OLIVER LOVE COULD FEEL LIKE ‘TIL I MET YOU

DELILAH BUT HERE I AM

PRINCE OLIVER AND HERE I AM WITHIN THESE PAGES

DELILAH I THINK MY STORY NEEDS HEROIC LEADS LIKE ME BUT BETWEEN THE LINES I DISCOVERED SOMETHING NEW AND MY PERFECT WORLD WAS CLEARER WHEN YOU BROUGHT IT INTO VIEW

PRINCE OLIVER I’LL LIVE TO TELL MY STORY AND HELP SOMEONE ELSE TO SEE

DELILAH A WHOLE NEW STORY

PRINCE OLIVER BETWEEN THE LINES

DELILAH, PRINCE OLIVER THAT’S WHERE I’M MEANT TO BE

DELILAH I’m sorry.

PRINCE OLIVER Delilah? Why does this hurt so much?

DELILAH Oh, Ollie. Because it’s real.

OLIVER smiles sadly. He has at long last experienced something real, and yes, it hurts.

They kiss one last, heartbreaking time.

— 146 —

Between The Lines

PRINCE OLIVER breaks the kiss and starts to exit, holding DELILAH’S hand in his until the very last possible moment.

I CAN’T GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT GET HIM OUT OF THE BOOK IT’S TIME TO LET HIM GO…

JESSAMYN Delilah?

(Dazed, DELILAH doesn’t respond) Delilah!

DELILAH Huh?

JESSAMYN Lost you there, for a minute.

DELILAH I… um… um…

JESSAMYN Are you all right?

JESSAMYN’S voice snaps DELILAH back to reality.

DELILAH Yeah. Yeah, I am.

(smiles broadly) I really am.

(processing this new clarity) Could I please have a glass of water?

JESSAMYN Of course.

JESSAMYN exits. DELILAH picks up the book, but doesn’t open it. She sits down, looking at it, trying to process what has happened.

Between The Lines

— 147 —

JESSAMYN’S son, EDGAR enters with a glass of water. He looks exactlylike PRINCE OLIVER, if PRINCE OLIVER were a modern teenager.

EDGAR Here you go-

DELILAH looks up nonchalantly at EDGAR. Then a double take as she is gobsmacked by his resemblance to PRINCE OLIVER.

DELILAH (to the audience) Oh. My. God.

DELILAH stands frozen, stunned by EDGAR.

EDGAR (trying to get her attention) Hello? Hello?

(sing-song but not like OLIVER)

(EDGAR) HELLOOOOOOOO!?

DELILAH (snapping to attention) Um… hi?

EDGAR Hi. I’m Edgar.

DELILAH Delilah.

EDGAR My mom said you wanted a glass of water?

EDGAR hands DELILAH the glass, she drinks a bit, staring at EDGAR.

DELILAH Thank you—

EDGAR Is that—

— 148 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH Sorry-

EDGAR You go.

DELILAH No, you.

EDGAR (gestures to the book in DELILAH’s hands) Is that Between the Lines?

(snatches the book from DELILAH) I thought I ditched this years ago.

DELILAH What?!

EDGAR My Mom wrote it for me after my dad died. I guess a book about a prince who’s raised without a father was cheaper than therapy.

DELILAH Did it work?

EDGAR I don’t know… maybe? But then I moved on. Rescuing princesses isn’t really my thing.

DELILAH It wasn’t Oliver’s thing, either.

EDGAR (confused) Wasn’t it? I mean, the dude literally spends the whole book chasing after some girl in a tower.

DELILAH But that’s just what’s on the page.

Between The Lines

— 149 —

EDGAR Okay… then… what’s off the page?

DELILAH All the things that didn’t get written.

EDGAR Wait. What?

#2 4 — F i n a l e P a r t 1

DELILAH You don’t really think a story exists only when you’re reading it? When you go to sleep, do you cease to exist?

EDGAR I… hope not.

DELILAH Exactly. For example I IMAGINED THAT FIGHTING DRAGONS WASN’T OLIVER’S CHOSEN DESTINY HE DREAMT OF MORE HE DISLIKED HIS STORY

EDGAR HEY, THAT’S INTERESTING— TELL THE REST TO ME

DELILAH HE WAS TRAPPED DESPITE ALL OUR TRIES! WE SAID OUR GOODBYES AND THEN IT HAD TO END.

(shaking her head) SO I’LL TRY AGAIN!

EDGAR (amused)

— 150 —

Between The Lines

YOU NEED A PEN.

EDGAR hands her a pen from the desk.

DELILAH (resolutely) I’LL SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS I’LL SPIN IT DIFFERENTLY TO WHAT I WANNA SEE

EDGAR, DELILAH SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS

EDGAR So you’re a writer.

DELILAH No, I’m a…

Between The Lines

— 151 —

(DELILAH) (realizing) Actually, maybe I should be. If it were my book, Oliver would get out and live the life he wants.

EDGAR That’s way better than what my mom wrote.

DELILAH Really?

EDGAR Yeah. Any other changes?

DELILAH Well…

THERE’S THIS POOCH

FRUMP and PRINCESS SERAPHIMA appear.

DELILAH, FRUMP AND HE WANTS TO SMOOCH THIS GIRL

PRINCESS SERAPHIMA BUT SHE WON’T BECAUSE HE’S NOT A HUMAN

EDGAR, DELILAH WITH A REWRITE HE’S IN A NEW LIGHT

SERAPHIMA realizes she loves FRUMP. They embrace.

FRUMP, PRINCESS SERAPHIMA NOW THEY’RE A PAIR AND THEIR LOVE IS BLOOMIN’

QUEEN MAUREEN enters.

DELILAH, QUEEN MAUREEN THE QUEEN WILL SEE IF SOBRIETY COULD FINALLY BE

— 152 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH, EDGAR THE KEY TO HAPPY DAYS

QUEEN MAUREEN lifts a martini glass.

QUEEN MAUREEN Starting tomorrow.

RAPSKULLIO enters.

RAPSKULLIO THE EVIL LEAD WILL TRADE VILLAINY FOR HIS PHD

RAPSKULLIO opens his coat, revealing dozens of projected butterflies.

DELILAH, EDGAR, RAPSKULLIO IN ENTOMOLOGY!

DELILAH, EDGAR THE WAY IT USED TO BE IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS SPIN IT DIFFERENTLY TO WHAT YOU WANNA SEE SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS

EDGAR The troll?

DELILAH Becomes a book critic!

#2 4 A — F i n a l e P a r t 2

EDGAR The mermaids-

DELILAH Burn their seashell bras!

Between The Lines

— 153 —

EDGAR You’re so weird.

(smiles) I like that. My mom has this theory. She says books have a way of showing up in people’s lives exactly when they need them.

EDGAR returns the book to her.

DELILAH Your mom’s right.

JESSAMYN enters.

JESSAMYN Everything okay?

DELILAH Yeah. It’s good. I’m so sorry for barging in on you. I’d better go.

JESSAMYN You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.

DELILAH Thanks, but my mom is waiting for me in the car.

(she starts to exit, then stops) I believe this belongs to you.

DELILAH hands JESSAMYN the book.

JESSAMYN Hey, Delilah? Live the story you want, if it’s not the story you’re in.

JESSAMYN and EDGAR exit.

DELILAH I THINK I’LL WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER LET GO OF THE PAST AND WE’LL SEE ‘CAUSE IF I WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER ANOTHER CHAPTER I’LL CHANGE WHAT IS WRITTEN FOR ME

DELILAH steps forward, changing her clothes while narrating.

— 154 —

Between The Lines

(DELILAH) (narrating) Long, long ago, I was trapped inside a story I didn’t like. So instead, I dove head-first and heart-first into a fairytale. I had a magical makeover, sang a siren song with mermaids, and fell in love with a very handsome prince. But he couldn’t save me. I had to save myself.

Between The Lines

— 155 —

ACT 2 EPILOGUE: NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY FIVE YEARS LATER

Time has advanced.

DELILAH is now a confident 23-year-old. She stands behind a lectern, reading from the novel she wrote.

DELILAH (reading out loud) … And so, as it turns out, not every story ends with a handsome prince and a happily ever after. Sometimes, it ends with a mother and daughter, and a new beginning. The End.

Applause is heard from an unseen audience.

JESSAMYN joins DELILAH at the lectern, applauding.

JESSAMYN That was Delilah McPhee reading excerpts from her debut novel, A Whole New Story.

Delilah will be signing copies of her book in a few minutes. Let’s give her a moment to catch her breath.

(to DELILAH) You were terrific!

DELILAH I was so nervous.

JESSAMYN You’d better get used to it. I think you’ve got a long career ahead of you.

JESSAMYN exits. GRACE enters, wearing scrubs, and hugs DELILAH.

DELILAH Mom! Wow. That’s a fashion choice.

GRACE My Versace’s at the cleaners. I just got off work and I didn’t want to miss a single word!

ALLIE MCANDREWS enters, speaking into a phone.

— 156 —

Between The Lines

ALLIE MCANDREWS Miss McPhee will need her dress pressed and brought to her hotel for tomorrow’s event… you don’t WASH Alexander McQueen!

(over her shoulder) RYAN!

RYAN crosses, in search of ALLIE. He is carrying twins in a baby Bjorn and wearing an apron, cuz all men do.

ALLIE exits, followed by RYAN as JULES enters.

JULES Was that Allie and Ryan, or am I having high school PTSD?

DELILAH Believe it or not, she’s my publicist. Turns out she’s really good at getting what she wants.

JULES Wow… okay. All that stands between you and me and way too many margaritas are two hundred signed books. Move it!

GRACE I’ll meet you guys at the reception. We are gonna celebrate tonight!

GRACE turns to exit, but is stopped by an entering DR. DUCHARME.

DR. DUCHARME Uh, hey Delilah.

DELILAH Dr. Ducharme? Wow. It’s been forever!

DR. DUCHARME I had to find out how the story ended.

He hugs DELILAH.

DELILAH (gesturing towards JULES) You remember Jules.

Between The Lines

JULES Dr. D!

JULES exchanges an elaborate handshake with DR. DUCHARME.

DELILAH (pointing to GRACE) Oh, and this is my Mom, Grace.

DR. DUCHARME Nice to meet you. I like the scrubs.

GRACE (flustered; and attracted to DR. DUCHARME) Um, this isn’t what I usually wear. I mean, it is, ‘cause I’m a… nurse…

(blurting out defensively) My Versace’s at the cleaners.

DELILAH What she means is that she’s just heading to the reception.

DR. DUCHARME Me too…

(to GRACE) Care to join me?

GRACE (smiling with confidence) Mmhmm…

GRACE and DR. DUCHARME exit. JULES and DELILAH watch them, then laugh.

DELILAH I did not see that coming!

JULES Then you probably didn’t see this coming either-

EDGAR enters as JULES exits.

— 157 —

— 158 —

Between The Lines

DELILAH Edgar!

EDGAR sweeps DELILAH off her feet in a congratulatory hug.

EDGAR You were amazing!

DELILAH I thought you couldn’t make it?

EDGAR I took my exam early. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

DELILAH I cannot believe all these people came to hear my story.

EDGAR I can.

#2 4 B — F i n a l e P a r t 3

DELILAH NOW IT’S REAL YOU’RE PART OF MY WORLD THE STORY’S UNFURLED BUT WE’VE GOT LOTS OF TIME

GRACE, DELILAH NOW IT’S RIGHT

GRACE AND LOOK WHAT YOU FOUND WITH FEET ON THE GROUND

DELILAH BUT WITH MY HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

Everyone enters, joyfully living their best lives.

Between The Lines

DELILAH, EDGAR, GRACE

— 159 —

EVERYONE ELSE

NOTHING’S GOING RIGHT

DA DA DA DA DA

YOU WANNA RUN AND HIDE

DA DA DA

SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS

DA DA DA DA DA DA

IT’LL BE OKAY

DA DA DA

‘CAUSE THERE’S ANOTHER WAY SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS

ALL (EXCEPT DELILAH)

DELILAH

BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

START AGAIN

DO IT FOR YOU

DON’T STAY

DO IT FOR YOU

BETWEEN THE LINES WRITE IT YOUR WAY

ALL IF YOU’RE FEELING TRAPPED AND YOU CAN’T ADAPT SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS TRY FOR SOMETHING NEW JUST REMEMBER TO GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE PLOT ‘CAUSE IT’S UP TO YOU YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS

The COMPANY exits, leaving DELILAH and EDGAR alone.

DELILAH, EDGAR I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU—

DELILAH Jinx!

EDGAR Aw, man.

DELILAH I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU

— 160 —

Between The Lines

EDGAR SAY IT IN OTHER WORDS?

DELILAH THAT’S THE ONLY WAY

DELILAH, EDGAR IT’S WHAT I’LL ALWAYS SAY IN MY PERFECT WORLD

THE END

#2 5 — B o ws