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I B R E T T O

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O C A L

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O O K

Music by James Merillat

Lyrics by Jesse David Johnson

Book by Jesse David Johnson & James Merillat With a wink and a nod to the “Alice” books by Lewis Carroll NOTICE: DO NOT DEFACE!

Should you find it necessary to mark cues or cuts, use a soft black lead pencil only.

NOT FOR SALE

This book is rented for the period specified in your contract. It remains the property of: PLEASE RETURN ALL MATERIALS TO:

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Wonderland High Book, Music and Lyrics © 2010, 2015 James Merillat and Jesse David Johnson


In accordance with the terms and conditions specified in your performance license, all music, lyrics and dialogue contained herein are the property of the Authors and are fully protected by copyright. You are not permitted to make any changes to the music, lyrics or dialogue of the Play, including the interpolation of new material and/or the exclusion of existing material. Any changes shall constitute a willful infringement of said copyright and will subject you to all the criminal penalties and civil liabilities under the United States Copyright Act. This book may not be duplicated and must be returned at the conclusion of your production. This Play is the property of its Authors. Remember, you have rented these materials and been granted a performance license. You may not duplicate any portion of these materials, disseminate them in any way, in whole or in part, including electronic or digital transmission and posting on the Internet, or use them for performances other than those specified in your license agreement. Federal Copyright Law specifically prohibits the public performance of the enclosed material without a performance license. MTI's delivery of the enclosed material does not authorize you or your group to perform the enclosed show(s) in any manner whatsoever. For example, it does not matter whether your audience pays for their tickets or not; it does not matter if your group is a school or not. The law requires you to obtain a license prior to performing the enclosed material. For further information regarding the severity of the punishments for willful infringement of copyright, please visit www.copyright.gov.

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CHARACTERS (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE): ARTHUR, the new kid STAN, a small Freshman - card suit: Clubs HARRY, the hall monitor - card suit: Clubs ALICE, the Head Cheerleader - card suit: Hearts ALLISON, Alice’s second - card suit: Hearts COACH BARKER, the Gym teacher and Croquet Coach PAUL, Captain of the Croquet Team, Alice’s boyfriend - card suit: Diamonds DEE DEE TWEEDLE, Sandy’s twin sister “Tweedle-Dee,” a cheerleader - card suit: Hearts SANDY TWEEDLE, Dee Dee’s twin sister “Tweedle-Dumb,” a cheerleader - card suit: Hearts ALICIA, Allison’s groupie, a cheerleader - card suit: Hearts PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE, a disembodied voice – male or female PRESTON, one of Paul’s buddies, on the Croquet team - card suit: Diamonds PARKER, one of Paul’s buddies, on the Croquet team - card suit: Diamonds KATT, Savvy operator of the Bookstore - card suit: Clubs MARIANNE, a shy girl, in love with Harry - card suit: Clubs MATT ADDER, a Junior – a prankster - card suit: Spades APRIL MAY, a Junior – runs with Matt, Big hair - card suit: Spades DORA MOUSKOWITZ, a Junior – suffers from narcolepsy - card suit: Spades ROSE, leader of The Garden Glee Girls (Alto 2/Tenor) – card suit: Spades DAISY, a Garden Glee Girl (Soprano 1) – card suit: Spades LILY, a Garden Glee Girl (Soprano 2) – card suit: Spades VIOLET, a Garden Glee Girl (Alto 1) – card suit: Spades DR. BLOOM, the new English teacher and Arthur’s mother OTHER STUDENTS OF ALL SIZES, SHAPES AND ATTITUDES - card suit: Clubs

— iii —


SCENES AND MUSICAL NUMBERS The action takes place in and around Wonderland High School the day before and the day of the State Croquet Championship and the Lobster Cotillion Ball ACT ONE SCENE 1: THE LOBBY OF WONDERLAND HIGH 00 Wonderland Fanfare (Orchestra) .............................................................................1 01 Welcome To Wonderland (Arthur, Harry, Students) .......................................................1 01a Welcome To Wonderland Reprise & Playoff (Orchestra) .............................................................................7 SCENE 2: HOMEROOM (THE GYM) 02 The Ode Of Wonderland 03 We’re Not Weird 04 Did Shakespeare Ever Feel This Way? 04a Shakespeare Playoff

(Students)..............................................................................10 (Alice, Students) ...................................................................13 (Arthur) ................................................................................18 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................18

SCENE 3: THE GIRLS’ BATHROOM 05 Girl Talk

(Alice, Allison, Sandy, Dee Dee, Alicia) ..............................20

SCENE 4: OUTSIDE THE GIRLS’ BATHROOM 05a Girl Talk – reprise

(Alice, Allison, Sandy, Dee Dee, Alicia) ..............................25

SCENE 5: THE HALLWAY/SCHOOL STORE 06 Supply And Demand 06a Supply And Demand – Playoff 06b The Ode – Garden Glees #1

(Katt, Matt, Dora, April May, Students) ..............................29 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................32 (The Garden Glee Girls) ......................................................34

SCENE 6: DR. BLOOM’S ENGLISH CLASS 07 Cheating 07a Arthur Alone

(Alice, Allison, Quadrilles, Croquet Players) ......................38 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................43

SCENE 7: THE HALLWAY 07b Shakespeare Triumphant 07c Shakespeare Playoff 07d The Ode – Garden Glees #2

(Arthur) ................................................................................45 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................46 (The Garden Glee Girls) ......................................................46

SCENE 8: OUTSIDE THE CAFETORIUM 08 Cafetorium Party

(Matt, April May, Dora, Arthur, Students)...........................50

SCENE 9: THE CAFETORIUM 09 What Do You Say? 10 In Wonderland

(Harry, Arthur, Marianne, Katt) ..........................................59 (Alice, Ensemble) .................................................................66

— iv —


ACT TWO 10a Entr’acte

(Orchestra) ...........................................................................69

SCENE 1: THE CAFETORIUM, IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING 11 Girls (Arthur, Harry).....................................................................70 11a Girls Encore (Arthur, Harry).....................................................................71 SCENE 2: THE GYM 12 Hate Me 12a Scene Change - Hate Me

(Allison, Quadrilles).............................................................74 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................79

SCENE 3: THE SCHOOL STORE 13 Who Are You? 13a Who Are You? – Reprise 13b The Ode – Garden Glees Final

(Katt) ....................................................................................82 (Katt) ....................................................................................85 (The Garden Glee Girls) ......................................................87

SCENE 4: DR. BLOOM’S CLASSROOM 14 Maybe It Could Be 14a Scene Change: Girl Talk

(Arthur, Alice) ......................................................................90 (Orchestra) ...........................................................................92

SCENE 5: THE CAFETORIUM 14b Scene Change: Hate Me

(Orchestra) ...........................................................................98

SCENE 6: THE BOOKSTORE 14c Ode Of Wonderland – Vocal Underscore 15 The Heart Of Wonderland

(Students)............................................................................103 (Students)............................................................................104

SCENE 7: THE CAFETORIUM – THE NEXT DAY 15a Lobster Ball Dance #1 15b Lobster Ball Dance #2 15c Drum Roll 16 Come Join The Dance – Finale 16a Bows 16b Exit Music

(Orchestra) .........................................................................105 (Orchestra) .........................................................................107 (Orchestra) .........................................................................110 (Company)..........................................................................115 (Company)..........................................................................118 (Orchestra) .........................................................................118

— v —


SONGS BY CHARACTER ALICE

DEE DEE

3. We’re Not Weird ............................................... 13

5. Girl Talk ............................................................20

5. Girl Talk ........................................................... 20

5a. Girl Talk Reprise.............................................25

5a. Girl Talk Reprise ............................................ 25

7. Cheating ............................................................38

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

12. Hate Me...........................................................74

10. In Wonderland ................................................ 66 14. Maybe It Could Be.......................................... 90

DORA

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115

6. Supply And Demand..........................................29 8. Cafetorium Party...............................................50

ALICIA

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................115

5. Girl Talk ........................................................... 20 5a. Girl Talk Reprise ............................................ 25

GARDEN GLEES

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

6. Supply And Demand..........................................29

12. Hate Me .......................................................... 74

6b. The Ode – Garden Glees #1............................34 7b. The Ode – Garden Glees #2............................46

ALLISON

13b. The Ode – Garden Glees Final .....................87

5. Girl Talk ........................................................... 20 5a. Girl Talk Reprise ............................................ 25

HARRY

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

1. Welcome To Wonderland ....................................1

12. Hate Me .......................................................... 74

6. Supply And Demand..........................................29

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115

9. What Do You Say? ............................................59 11. Girls ................................................................70

APRIL MAY

11a. Girls Encore ..................................................71

6. Supply And Demand ......................................... 29

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................115

8. Cafetorium Party .............................................. 50 16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115

KATT 6. Supply And Demand..........................................29

ARTHUR

9. What Do You Say? ............................................59

1. Welcome To Wonderland.................................... 1

13. Who Are You? .................................................82

3. We’re Not Weird ............................................... 13

13a. Who Are You – Reprise .................................85

4. Did Shakespeare Ever Feel This Way? ............ 18 7b. Shakespeare Triumphant ................................ 45

MARIANNE

8. Cafetorium Party .............................................. 50

6. Supply And Demand..........................................29

9. What Do You Say?............................................ 59

9. What Do You Say? ............................................59

11. Girls ................................................................ 70

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................115

11a. Girls Encore ................................................. 71 14. Maybe It Could Be.......................................... 90

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115 — vi —


MATT ADDER

SANDY

6. Supply And Demand ......................................... 29

5. Girl Talk ............................................................20

8. Cafetorium Party .............................................. 50

5a. Girl Talk Reprise.............................................25

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115

7. Cheating ............................................................38 12. Hate Me...........................................................74

PARKER 6. Supply And Demand ......................................... 29

STUDENTS/ENSEMBLE/COMPANY

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

1. Welcome To Wonderland ....................................1 2. The Ode Of Wonderland ...................................10

PAUL

3. We’re Not Weird ...............................................13

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

6. Supply And Demand..........................................29

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 115

8. Cafetorium Party...............................................50 10. In Wonderland.................................................66

PRESTON

14c. Ode Of Wonderland – Vocal Underscore ...103

6. Supply And Demand ......................................... 29

15. The Heart Of Wonderland.............................104

7. Cheating............................................................ 38

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................115 16a. Bows ............................................................118

— vii —


Authors’ Note WONDERLAND HIGH takes its jumping-off point from the “Alice” books by Lewis Carroll: “Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland” and “Through The Looking Glass. Our hero, Arthur, is metaphorically like “Alice” – he has been thrust into a strange place, in this case a new high school, just as he is starting his Senior Year. Getting used to a new environment is always difficult and it is easy to feel like an outsider. However, this new school is truly a little bit off. As you start working on your production of WONDERLAND HIGH, don’t be afraid to play up the “oddness.” The most successful productions we have seen have been drawn with bold strokes. WONDERLAND HIGH is a piece that allows for many creative interpretations, in costumes, sets and staging. You can be as stylized as you want. We’ve seen productions that rivaled Tim Burton’s film of “Alice in Wonderland in terms of color, make-up and costumes. We’ve seen productions using limited chromatic palettes of red, black and white. One particularly dramatic production was done in these colors throughout, until the end, as the stage burst into color as the cast embraced their individuality. We’ve seen Harajuku-inspired costumes that were great fun and gave the show the oddness that it embraces. Strange size props and set pieces have also been used to great effect. Have fun and let your imagination run wild! A couple of character notes: Arthur: Don’t play him too sweet or innocent. He’s a smart, “normal” guy. Alice: She should be a little hard-edged at the beginning of the show. (You might want to think of her “journey” as the reverse journey of the character of “Sandy” in “Grease.”) Likewise, Allison must not give away her true colors at the top of the show. She is hardedged, but we shouldn’t know that any of that is directed at Alice. Our first hint should be her behavior at the end of “Cheating,” of which Alice must remain unaware. Katt, like her antecedent: the caterpillar, is mystical and magical. She should revel and enjoy her powers. Don’t be afraid of physical comedy and the use of theatrical “bits” – especially when it involves Matt, April May, Dora and Stan and the “jocks.” We’ve seen productions that utilized “bop it” hammers, squirt guns and confetti – some with all of those and more. Again, BOLD STROKES are best – the crazier and more circus-like the feeling of the large numbers, the more meaningful will be the tighter, wistful moments. WONDERLAND HIGH is riffled (a portmanteau of “riddled” and “rife”) with allusions, not only to the “Alice” books, but to other writings by Lewis Carroll (“The Hunting of the Snark,” “Sylvie and Bruno” and actual events in his life, including the referencing of Lewis’ and Alice’s actual names as part of the script. Some are easy to spot, and some are more difficult. The most obtuse references sometimes are the most delightful when they are finally discovered. We’ve found it a fun exercise to have the cast share references they have discovered at the start of each rehearsal. This “six impossible things” before rehearsal can result in an increased depth of understanding of the show, and, more importantly, of the classic literary works that serve as its source material. We had a lot of fun weaving them into the script, and we hope that you and your cast (and your audiences) enjoy discovering them in your production! We’d love to hear about your favorites! We hope you have as much fun with your production of WONDERLAND HIGH as we had writing it! Break-a-leg! James & Jesse

— viii —


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ACT I SCENE ONE: THE LOBBY OF HIGH SCHOOL SCENE O NE: T HE L O BBY O F WONDERLAND WONDERLAND H IG H S CHOOL THE BEFORE THE LOBSTER BOWL THE DAY DAY BEF ORE TH EL OBSTER B OWL MUSIC CUE WONDERLAND MU S IC C UE 000: 0: W ONDERLAND FANFARE FANFARE Du During ring a sshort hort mu musical sical iinterlude, nterlude, lights lights reveal reveal the the lobby lobby of of a large large suburban suburban high high school. s c h o o l. like a giant giant chessboard. banner featuring giant “W” “W” with The The floor fflloor iiss marked marked like chessboard. A large large banner featuring a giant w ith a chess kn ight emblazoned emblazoned on on it it hhangs angs across across th tage announcing announcing “WONDERLAND “W ONDERLA AN ND chess knight thee sstage KNIGHTS KNIG KNI GH TS – U UNDEFEATED UN NDEFEATED LOBSTER LOBSTER BOWL BOWL CHAMPS C CH HA AM MPS 1976 MP 1976 – **Present Present Y Year!!* e a r !!* The music music stops Laughing and and ttalking, alking, students students fill ffiill the the hallway. hallway. The stops and and everyone everyone freezes. fr e e z e s . A Laughing sp otlight hits hits ARTHUR ARTHUR as steps forward forward and and speaks speaks directly directly to to the the audience. a u d ie n c e . as he he steps spotlight ART HUR ARTHUR here and and today today is is my my first first day My nname’s am e’s A Arthur rthur Bloom. Bloom. I just just moved moved here day at at this this new new High High School. S c h o o l. fresh is As a S Senior, is not not my my idea idea of of a good good time. h ig h enior, I hhave ave ttoo admit admit starting starting fresh time. But But I guess guess every every high sc hool iiss aabout school bout the the same. same. Their Their mascot mascot is is a chess chess piece, piece, after aftter all. af all. I mean, mean, how how bad bad could could it it be? be? LIGHTS LIGHTS sshift hift aand nd tthe he kids kids bbegin egin moving moving in in rigid rigid and and specific speciffiic “chess” “chess” patterns patterns across across the th e floor They floor until until they they end end up up separated separated into into their their cliques cliques (according ((a according to card card suits). suits its)). T Th hey stand, stand, in a tone tone that that sounds sounds much much like reciting re citing the the JJABBERWOCKY ABBERWOCKY in like the the Pledge Pledge of Allegiance. Allegiance. KI DS KIDS ‘T was brillig brillig and and the the slithy slithy toves to v e s ‘Twas and gimble gimble in in the the wabe: wabe: Did Did gyre gyre and were the the borogroves, b o ro g ro v e s, All All mimsy mimsy were ome raths raths outgrabe. o u tg r a b e . And mome And the th e m

LIG LI GHTS bback ack on on A r th u r . LIGHTS Arthur. ART HUR ARTHUR Uh, oh. oh. Uh, A BELL RINGS. BELL R IN G S . MU MUSIC S IC C CUE UE 001: 1: W WELCOME ELCOME TO W WONDERLAND ONDERLAND Sudde Suddenly nlyy the nl the stage stage is is alive alive with with movement movement as kids kids rush rush to to their their lockers, lockers, meet meet and greet, greet, and make make ttheir heir way way through through the the halls halls to to class. class. round, ssings) (HE ssighs (HE ighs aand nd llooks ooks aaround, in g s ) WHEN YOU'RE YOU'RE N WHEN NEW TOWN EW IN IN T OWN TAKE DEEP BREATH YOU T AKE A DE EP B REATH 'CUZ YOU'RE SCARED TO DEATH 'C UZ Y OU'RE S CARED T O DE ATH ‘THOUGH YOU’RE ACTING UPBEAT ‘T HOUGH Y OU’RE A CTING UP BEAT


— 2 —

WWOONNDD EE RR LL AA NNDD HHI IG GH H (ARTHUR) (ARTHUR) WITH A VAGUE VAGUE S READ ENSE O F IMMINENT IM M IN E N T D WITH SENSE OF DREAD HOPING L IKE S HAKESPEARE S AID, HOPING LIKE SHAKESPEARE SAID, “THE USES USES OF OF A DVERSITY: S WEET” “THE ADVERSITY: SWEET” bespectacled geeky geeky kid, kid, HARRY, HARRY ARRY,, swiftly swiftly rolls rolls up up on on a scooter. s c o o te r . A bespectacled

HARRY HARRY Stop badge) Harrison Harrison Karnickel. Karnickel. Hall Hall monitor. monitor. Stop .... .. right right ... there. there. (He (He pulls pulls out out a badge) (sings) (sings) YOU L LOOK LOST, OOK L OST, YOU L LOOK NEW HERE. OOK NE W HE RE. WELL, LUCK WELL, YOU'RE YOU'RE IIN NL UCK 'CAUSE THE ONE WHO RUNS THIS HALL. 'CAUSE II'M 'M T HE O NE W HO R UNS T HIS HAL L. WHAT WHAT TO TO SAY, SAY, WHAT TO HERE WH AT T O DO DO H ERE MONITOR, KING AS M ONITOR, II'M 'M KI NG TEACH EVERYTHING, AND II'LL 'L L T EACH YOU E VERYTHING, SO Y YOU'LL KNOW WHO, O U 'L L K NOW W HO, WHAT WHAT AND W WHERE HERE AND W WHEN HEN AND W WHY HY AND HOW HOW.. (HE (HE ooffers ffers ARTHUR ARTHUR a ride ride on on his his scooter) s c o o te r ) STICK STICK CLOSE CLOSE BY BY AS W WE E FLY FLY THROUGH WONDERLAND HIGH! THROUGH W ONDERLAND H IGH! ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR doesn't doesn't get get on. on. ARTHUR ARTHUR I'm Kansas High. handle a school school like I'm ffrom rom K City. I think think I can like Wonderland Wonderland H igh. ansas City. can handle HARRY HARRY Oh, ... One One second. second. Oh, really? really? ... HARRY HARRY leans leans over over and and opens opens a locker. locker. A kid, kid, STAN, STA AN N, pops out books books in in hand. hand. He pushes pushes pops out his ontoo his his glasses glasses up ont his nose. nose. STAN STAN Thanks Thanks Harry. H a rry .


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HARRY HARRY roblem Stan. Stan. See No pproblem See you you at at two? two? STAN STAN Same locker. lo c k e r . Same (to Arthur) (to A r th u r ) Don't Don't worry, worry, you you gget et used used to to it. it. Welcome Welcome to to Wonderland Wonderland High. H ig h . STAN gives ARTHUR STA ST AN A N walks walks off off to to class. class. HARRY HARRY gives ARTHUR an "I "I told so" look. look ook.. told you you so" HARRY HARRY Hop Hop on. on. ets on on the the scooter scooter and and THEY the halls) h a lls ) (ARTHUR (ARTHUR ggets THEY whiz whiz through through the ALL ALL WELCOME WELCOME TO TO WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! HIGH DE MAND. IT'S HIGH SCHOOL DEMAND. IT 'S A H IGH S CHOOL IIN N HIGH E VAIN V A IN A ND C RUEL SURE THE KIDS MAY BE AND CRUEL SURE T HE K ID S M AY B GRADE A” A” S CHOOL . BUT WE’RE SCHOOL. BUT YOU’LL YOU’LL FIND F IN D W E’RE A ““GRADE WELCOME WELCOME TO TO WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! NDERSTAND IT’S UNDERSTAND IT’S IMPORTANT IMPORTANT YOU YOU U OUR RULES; RULES; D ON’T ASK ASK ""WHY?" W H Y ?" LEARN DON’T LEARN OUR HERE AT WONDERLAND WONDERLAND H IGH! HERE HIGH! HARRY HARRY OU S TAY O UT O FT HE WAY WAY IF Y YOU STAY OUT OF THE YOU'LL B E OKAY YOU'LL BE ME EXPLAIN EXPLAIN LET ME THE COOL COOL KIDS KIDS SET SET A LL TH E RULES RULES THE ALL THE FOLLOW L IKE FOOLS FOOLS FOLLOW LIKE DON'T C OMPLAIN! AND DON'T COMPLAIN! THEY'LL SEE SEE YOU YOU ARRIVE ARRIVE THEY'LL EAT YOU AL IVE AND EAT ALIVE F YOU YOU W ANT T O PA SS T HE SE N IO R C LASS SO IIF WANT TO PASS THE SENIOR CLASS YOU'D B ETTER UNDE RSTAND NOW YOU'D BETTER UNDERSTAND NOW:: YOU'RE ON T HE F L IP S IDE OF OF T HE LOOKING-GLASS! LOOKING-GLASS! YOU'RE THE FLIP SIDE THE ALL ALL DON'T W ORRY IIF F YOU' RE DUM B DON'T WORRY YOU'RE DUMB IT'S AN AN E A SY C URRICULUM! IT'S EASY CURRICULUM! WE CARE TEAM CARE MORE MORE IF IF THE THE HOME HOME T EAM PLAYS PLAYS THAN DO ABOUT G.P.A.'S! THAN WE WE D OA BOUT G .P.A.'S!

— 3 —


— 4 —

W OWNODNEDRE LR AL AN ND D HHI IGG HH (ALL) (ALL) WELCOME TO TO WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! WELCOME LOOK AROUND AROUND A ND Y OU'LL U NDERSTAND LOOK AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND HARRY HARRY PLAY T HE G AME AND AND Y OU MIGHT MIGHT GET GET BY BY PLAY THE GAME YOU ALL ALL HERE HIGH! HERE AT WONDERLAND WONDERLAND H IGH! HARRY HARRY LOOK THE HALL LOOK DOWN DOWN TH EH ALL AND YOU' YOU'LL SEE THEM ALL: LL S EE T HEM AL L: THE BRUISERS, THE CRUISERS, THE B RUISERS, TH EC RUISERS, THE LOSERS, THE LO SERS, THE THE SMALL. SMALL. THE FREAKS TH EF REAKS AND THE THE GEEKS GEEKS SHARE MEEK LOYALTY; SHARE A M EEK L OYALTY; IN C CHARGE OF THEM ALL HIGH SCHOOL ROYALTY! HARGE O FT HEM A LL IS IS THE THE H IG H S CHOOL R OYALTY! The and cheered cheered on The CROQUET CROQUET TEAM TEA TE AM A M ttakes akes floor, fflloor, ssurrounded urrounded and on bbyy ALICE ALICE and and the th e QUADRILLE TEAM. QUAD QU ADRI RIL LLE T EAM EAM.. ALICE ALICE READY? READY? OKAY! OKAY! QUADRILLES QUADRILLES B-E-S-T! B-E-S-T! KNIGHTS KNIGHTS WE'RE THE BEST! WE'RE T HE B EST! QUADRILLES QUADRILLES R-E-S-T! R-E-S-T! KNIGHTS KNIGHTS WE'RE BETTER ALL THE THE REST! REST! WE 'R E B ETTER THAN THAN ALL QUADRILLES QUADRILLES KNOW!! YOU KNOW KNIGHTS KNIGHTS KNOW!! YOU KNOW QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S IT'S TRUE! IT 'S T RUE!


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KNIGHTS KNIGHTS IT'S IT'S TRUE! TRUE! KNIGHTS AND QUADRILLES KNIGHTS A ND QU ADRILLES BETTER THAN THAN ALL ALL OF WE'RE YOU! WE'RE BETTER OF Y OU! YAY! Lobster Queen Q ueen who is is handing handing out ARTH ART HUR sees sees ALICE ALICE who out flyers ffllyers for for her ARTHUR her Cotillion Cotillion Lobster campaign. He He stops s to p s H arry. campaign. Harry. ARTHUR ARTHUR (i nstantly smitten) s m itte n ) (instantly Wh oa! Wh o's that? th a t? Whoa! Who's HARRY HARRY Th at's Alice, Alice, head head of That's of the the Quadrille Quadrille team team and and our Cotillion Lobster Lobster Queen. Queen. our future future Cotillion ARTHUR ARTHUR Co tillion? Is Is that that like Cotillion? like Homecoming? H o m e c o m in g ? HARRY HA RRY No mecoming is stupid schools schools that that care No.. Ho Homecoming is ffor or stupid care about about football. f o o tb a ll. (s eeing Arthur Arthur sstaring taring at at A lice and and turning turning his his head head back back to to him) h im ) (seeing Alice Croquet Team. T eam . Do n’t eeven ven bother! bother! She's She's dating dating Paul, Paul, the the Captain Captain of of the the Knights… Knights… oour ur undefeated Don’t undefeated Croquet be to to stay stay away; away; she's she's nothing nothing but but trouble... tr o u b le ... My aadvice dvice would would be AL L ALL WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND WELCOME IT 'S A H IGH S CHOOL IIN N HI GH DE MAND IT'S HIGH SCHOOL HIGH DEMAND WE D O N 'T E DUCATE A SAR ULE DON'T EDUCATE AS RULE BU TW E 'V E G OT O UR O WN S WIMMING P OOL! BUT WE'VE GOT OUR OWN SWIMMING POOL! WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND WELCOME LO OK A ROUND A ND YOU' LL UNDE RSTAND LOOK AROUND AND YOU'LL UNDERSTAND CAN’T WIN, SO WHY TRY? YOU C AN’T W IN, S OW HY T RY? HERE WONDERLAND HIGH HE RE AT W ONDERLAND H IGH WHEN CRY WH EN THE THE RULES RULES MAKE MAKE YOU C RY ONLY FOOLS QUESTION WHY ONL YF OOLS QUE STION WH Y YOU'LL BE COME YOU' LL B E OKAY C OME MID-JULY MID-JULY HERE WONDERLAND... HE RE AT W ONDERLAND... ALICE who turns turns around. around. Their m e e t. AL ICE has has bbacked acked up, up, bumping bumping into into ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR who Their eyes eyes meet. ARTHUR ALICE smiles. ARTH ART HUR is entranced, entranced, A LICE smiles.


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WWOONNDDEE RR LL AA NN DD HHI IGGH H ARTHUR ARTHUR (to A lic e ) (to Alice) HI. HI. ALICE ALICE HI. HI. HARRY HARRY

(under (under his his breath) b r e a th ) ... Arthur, Arthur, meet meet “Trouble.” “Trouble.” ALL ALL HIGH! HIGH! ALICE ALICE I don't You must Myy nname's don't kknow now yyou. ou. Y ou m ust bbee new new hhere. ere. M ame's Alice. A lic e . ARTHUR ARTHUR Like, Like, "Alice "Alice in in Wonderland?" W o n d e rla n d ? " ALICE ALICE Yeah... Yeah... first time I've I've heard heard that. th a t. first time ARTHUR ARTHUR (pleased (pleased aand nd nervous) n ervo u s) And mean And yes! .. I m ean "no, "no, you you don't don't know know me" me" but but I am am ... ... uh uh new new here! here! Yes Yes new! new! yes! .... (reaching (reaching out out HIS HIS hand hand to to shake) shake) My nname ame iiss Arthur. A r th u r . ALICE ALICE (shoving (shoving a flyer ffllyer into into his his hand) hand) That's That's wonderful, wonderful, Andrew. Andrew. Can Can I count count on Lobster Queen? on your your vote vote for ffo or Lobster Q ueen? ARTHUR ARTHUR (taking (taking the the flier) ffllier) Oh, Oh, okay .. yeah yeah sure. su re . okay .... ALLISON ALLISON ccomes omes over over in in her her cheerleader cheerleader uniform. u n ifo r m . ALLISON ALLISON Alice, looking all all over over for for you. b u s in e s s . needs to to talk talk about about Cotillion Cotillion business. Alice, Paul's Paul's looking you. He needs ALICE ALICE (rolling (rolling her her eyes) eyes) Fine. Fine. (to ARTHUR) (to A RTHUR) Nice Nice talking talking to to you, you, Albert. Albert. Welcome Welcome to to Wonderland Wonderland High. High.


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ARTHUR ARTHUR Great! Great! ALICE ALICE and and ALLISON ALLISON lleave. eave. ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR recounts recounts the the conversation conversation to to himself himself for for a second second and feels feels like like an idiot. idiot. HARRY, HARRY, approaches approaches ARTHUR. ARTH UR. HARRY HARRY ou aactually ctually managed managed to to make make me me look look cool. cool. Wow, yyou Wow, ARTHUR ARTHUR more. don't tthink I don't hink I’m in in Kansas Kansas City City any any more. HARRY HARRY (checks (checks watch watch hanging hanging around around HIS HIS neck) neck) Well, whatever – yyou ou bbetter etter hurry. hurry. Homeroom Homeroom commences You’ve Well, whatever commences at at 9:18. 9:18. Yo u’ve only only ggot ot tthree h re e minutes minutes and and twenty-two twenty-two seconds seconds to get get there. there. Who’s Who’s your your homeroom homeroom teacher? teacher? ARTHUR ARTHUR Coach Coach Barker? Barker? HARRY HARRY (flustered) (fllustered) (f Barker?! Barker?! We’ve We’ve got got to to get get you you to to the the gym! gym ! ARTHUR ARTHUR Which way way ddoo I go? go? Which HARRY HARRY You'll never on your your own. own. One One hallway hallway is is much much shorter, shorter, one never find find iitt on one hallway hallway is is much much longer longer and and You'll hallway leads leads nowhere nowhere at at all! all! Hop Hop on. on. I know know a shortcut! shortcut! one hallway ARTH ART HUR gets gets on. on. MUSIC MUSIC starts starts aand nd hhee sings: s in g s : ARTHUR MUSIC CUE 01a:: WELCOME REPRISE E P R IS E A AND ND P PLAYOFF LAYOFF TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND – R MU S IC C UE 01a WELCOME TO ARTHUR ART HUR WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND WELCOME IT 'S A H IGH... IT'S HIGH... HARRY HA RRY ime for for reprises! reprises! Let's Let's go! go! No ttime THEY changes TH THE EY zzip ip ooff ff stage stage and and the the scene scene ch anges to: to:


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SCENE T W O: G YM / H OMEROOM SCENE TWO: GYM HOMEROOM Noisy kkids, ids, sitting sitting on on bleachers bleachers or or practicing practicing their their “swing” “swing” with with croquet croquet mallets. mallets. In In this th is Noisy “Quadrilles” – th squad homeroom cclass lass ar LICE tthe he C aptain of the the “Quadrilles” Cheer Leading Leading squad homeroom aree A ALICE Captain thee Cheer her "second," "second," ALLISON ALLISO SON N and ALICIA, ALICIA, another another friend friend of of theirs, theirs, PAUL, PAUL, the the Captain Captain of of and her Croquet team, team, his or two two the “Knights” “Knig ighhts” Croquet his sidekicks, sid ideekicks, PRESTON PRESTON and and PARKER PARKER and and one one or the more P LAYERS. COACH COACH BARKER BARKER Sits Sits looking looking at at a hand hand of of cards. cards. more PLAYERS. COACH B ARKE KER R does does not not notice notice the the chaos chaos happening happening all all around. around. The The Knights Knights are are COACH BARKER wielding an an oversize oversize pepper pepper shaker, shaker, “peppering” “peppering” STAN, STA AN, N, who who is is sneezing. sneezing. ARTHUR ARTHUR steps s te p s wielding through the the door do d oor right rig ighht as as the the bell bell sounds. sounds. through BARKER BARKER (without looking looking up) up) (without Gentlemen, please please stop stop peppering peppering the the skinny skinny boy. boy. Gentlemen, STAN STAN Yeah… Yeah… I’m I’m not not a pork pork rind! r in d ! BARKER BARKER Take your your sseats eats iit's t's time time for for attendance. attendance. Take (announcing) (announcing) All right! right! Anyone Anyone who who is is not not here here please please raise raise your your hands! hands! All PAUL raises raises hhis is hand. hand. PAUL ALICE ALICE Paul, put put your your hand hand down! dow n! Paul, room, SAN SA NDY and DEE DEE DEE DEE TWEEDLE, TWE WEEDLE, a pai twins, also also on the the squad, squad, rush rush into into the the room, SANDY pairr of twins, have been been running miles. panting like lik ikee th ey have running for for miles. panting they BARKER BARKER Ah, the the Tweedle Tweedle sisters sisters have have decided decided to to join join us. us. Sandy Sandy and and Dee Dee Dee, Dee, you're you're late! late! Care Care to to explain? e x p la in ? Ah, DEE DEE DEE DEE I'm I'm ssorry, orry, Coach Coach Barker.. Barker.. SANDY SANDY Th ose hallways hallways are are so so confusing. c o n fu s in g . Those DEE DEE DEE DEE Oh, my my poor poor little little feet. f e e t. Oh, SA NDY SANDY They won’t won’t walk walk the the way way I want want to to go! go! They


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BARKER BA RKER Yes, well… Yes, we ll… take take your your seats. seats. We We have have a new new student student joining joining us us today today from... f r o m ... som eone BARKER BARKER is is interrupted interrupted by by loud loud feedback feedback over over the the PA system system and and the the sound sound of of someone tapping tappping on ta on the the microphone. microphone. PR INCIPAL C HESHIRE PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE hello! Is Is this this thing thing on? on? I think think that... th a t... Hello, Frisco, Frisco, hello! Hello, oud nnoise, oise, as as if if CHESHIRE CHESHIRE has has fallen fallen out out of of the the chair chair or or spilled spilled coffee coffee all all over over the th e (a lloud desk. T he VOICE VOICE continues continues muttering) muttering) desk. The who are are the him. ARTH ART HUR turns turns tto o ALICIA ALICIA and DEE TWEEDLE TWEEDLE who the closest closest people people to him. ARTHUR and DEE DEE DEE ARTHUR ARTHUR (whispering) (whispering) th a t? Who or or what what is is that? Who ALICIA ALICIA C h e s h ire . That's principal principal Cheshire. That's PRINCIPAL C H E S H IR E PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE to welcome welcome … to to the th e students! Oh frabjous frabjous day! day! Wonderland Wonderland High High would would like like to Good m orning, students! Good morning, English Department, Department, our our new new English English professor, professor, Dr.... Dr.... Dr.... D r .... English giving up (much shuffling shuffflling of of paper, paper, finally ffiinally giving up hope) hope) (much Well, you'll you'll know know who won't know know who who she she is. is. She’s She’s taking who she she is is because because you you won't taking over over for for Miss M is s Well, Bandersnatch who who had had to to return return suddenly suddenly to to Sri Sri Lanka. Lanka. Also, Also, with with the the Lobster Lobster Bowl Bowl and and Cotillion Cotillion Bandersnatch Victory Dance Dance only only a dday ay away, away, we we want want to wish wish Coach Coach Barker Barker and and the the Knights Knights a top-notch top-notch Victory victory for for Tomorrow. Please rise rise and and join join me me in in singing singing the the school school song! song! Tomorrow. Please victory ise. A PITCHPIPE PIT PI TCHPI PIPE PE is over the the loudspeaker. lo u d s p e a k e r . ALL rrise. is blown blown over ALL ARTHUR ARTHUR (trying to to make make light, light, and and make make friends, friends, whispering whispering to th QUADRILLES aaround round hhim) im)) im (trying thee QUADRILLES Oh, I can't can't wait wait to to hear hear your your version version of of this! th is ! Oh, DEE DEE DEE DEE What What do do you you mean? m ean? ARTHUR ARTHUR the school school song. song. I'm I'm ssure ure you you hhave for the ave very very clever clever "alternate" "alternate" lyrics lyrics for ALICIA ALICIA New Don't make New kid. kid. Do n 't m of "The "The Ode Ode Of Wonderland." Wonderland." It's It's the the charm charm that's that's kkept ept us us champions champions ake fun fun of year year in in and and year year out. out. DEE DEE DEE DEE Yeah. Yeah. They They change change the the words words every every year year so so that that it it applies applies to to now. now.


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SANDY SANDY It's a very very current current song. song. It's The KIDS KIDS ssing, ing, ssurprisingly urprisingly solemnly. s o le m n ly . The MUSIC CUE THE ODE MU S IC C UE 002: 2: T HE O DE OF OF WONDERLAND WONDERLAND KIDS KIDS OW ONDERLAND! O W ONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! ND TH IRTY YEARS) YEARS) M TH OUGH ((NINE N IN E A AY P A S S1 THOUGH AND THIRTY MAY PASS DEE DE E DEE DEE Se e, that's that's the the words words tthey hey change. change. See, SA NDY SANDY Is n't it it bbrilliant! rilliant! Isn't ART HUR ARTHUR Brilliant. Br illia n t. KI DS KIDS FR OM SE AT O SE AO RS AND T OS AND FROM SEA TO SEA OR SAND TO SAND FR OM ST ONE T O ST ONE AND GR ASS T O GR FROM STONE TO STONE GRASS TO GRASS ASS TH EO DE O FO LD R EVEALS TH EP OWER THE ODE OF OLD REVEALS THE POWER WH EN T HE G OLDEN HORN HORN IIS S BL OW N WHEN THE GOLDEN BLOWN AND UP ON T HAT F ATEFUL HOUR HOUR UPON THAT FATEFUL TH E TR UE HEART HEART O FW ONDERLAND W IL L B E SHOWN SHOWN THE TRUE OF WONDERLAND WILL BE As tthe he song song ends, ends, CHESHIRE CHES ESH HIRE starts starts tto o bark. bark. This This results in feedback, feedback, which which is is followed fo llo w e d results in by tthe croquet team team cheers cheers and the he click click of the the PA PA shutting shutting off off as the the croquet the chaos chaos resumes. resumes. BARKER BARK ER silences silences them. th e m . ARTHUR ART HUR (amid (amid the the ruckus) ru cku s) Well, Well, that's c o n fu s in g . that's confusing. DEE DEE DEE DE E Yeah? Yeah? SANDY SANDY Isn't Is n't it it ggreat? reat? 1

N B The The lyric lyric in parenthesis (NINE AND AND THIRTY) THIRTY) should the current using 1976 1976 as as the the baseline: baseline: 2015: 2015: NB parenthesis (NINE should be be changed changed to rrefer efer to the current year, year, using 017: O NE AND AND FO RTY; 2018: TWO TWO AND AND F ORTY; 2019: T HREE AND AND NI NE AND T HIRTY; 22016: 016: L O, T HESE FORTY; FORTY; 22017: NINE THIRTY; LO, THESE ONE FORTY; FORTY; THREE FO RTY; 22020: 020: FOUR FOUR A ND FO RTY, eetc. tc . FORTY; AND FORTY,


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BARKER BARKER No w, aass I wa Now, wass ssaying. aying. We We hhave ave a new... new... Mo re ffeedback a g a in . More eedback over over the the PA. PA. Then, Then, THE THE VOICE VOICE (CHESHIRE) (CHESHIRE) again. PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE PRINCIPAL C H E S H IR E (to (to himself himself or or someone someone unseen unseen and and unheard) unheard) If I had had aann oyster oyster for every time time I've I've tried tried to... for every come to to my my office o ff ic e to... Coach Coach Barker, Barker, can can you you please please come immediately? immediately? BARKER BA RKER (exasperated) (exasperated) Oh, Sit Oh, frumious frumious jabberwockies! ja b b e rw o c k ie s ! S it tight tight until until I return. return. If the the bell bell rings rings before before I return, return, then then don't don't sit s it tight. tight. And And don't don't kill kill the the new new boy! boy! look at at ARTHUR, then return return to to whatever whatever they're BARKER BARKER exits. exits. All All students students look ARTH ART HUR, then they're doing. d o in g . her nails nails and and sitting sitting next next to to Allison Allison who who is is staring s ta r in g Arthur Arthur notices notices Alice Alice who who is is doing doing her lovingly lovingly at over. at Paul. Paul. He He walks walk lkss over. ART HUR ARTHUR (nervously to Alice) A lic e ) (nervously to Um, Um, hi… h i… AL ICE ALICE (cold) (cold) Oh mand right? r ig h t? Oh,, Ar Armand ART HUR ARTHUR if you you might might be be able able to Close eenough. nough. I'm I'm new new here, here, and and I was was wondering wondering if to help help me me find find my my first firs t Close class. class. ears tthis his aand nd cchimes himes iin. n. ALLISON hhears ALLISON AL L IS O N ALLISON Um hhi, i, uh, uh, New New Kid, Kid, iiss it? it? ART HUR ARTHUR It's It's Arthur Arthur aactually. c tu a lly . ALLISON ALLISON Well Well Arthur Arthur Actually, Actually, let let me me explain. explain. Alice Alice here here is is the the Head Head of of the the Quadrille Quadrille Team, Team, aka aka the th e Queen, bigg fellow Queen, and and that that bi fellow there is Paul, Paul, her her boyfriend, boyfrriend, aka boyf aka the the King. King. Everyone Everyone there with with the the mallet mallet is wants wants wants to to be be uus, s, aand nd nnoo one one w ants to to be you. over to to PAUL hhas PAUL as hheard eard tthis his aand nd sstops tops hhis is nnerd-beating erd-beating to to look look over. over. HE HE angrily angrily walks wal alkks over ARTHUR, ALICE HIS ARTH ART HUR, AL ICE aand nd ALLISON. ALLISON. H IS cronies cronies ffollow. o llo w . PA PAUL UL So So,, A Alice, lice, who's who's tthis? h is ?


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ALICE ALICE (nonchalant) (nonchalant) New kkid. id . New PAUL PAUL (to A rthur with with disgust) d is g u s t) (to Arthur New Kidd? Kidd? What What kind kind of of name name is is that? that? New ARTHUR ARTHUR (offfering his (o his hand hand to to PAUL) PAUL) (offering It's A rthur aactually. c tu a lly . It's Arthur PAUL PAUL (pushing A RTHUR’s hhand and aaway) w ay) (pushing ARTHUR’s Yeah? Well Well I don't don't care care what what nationality nationality it it is! is ! Yeah? ALICE ALICE (patiently) (patiently) Arthur's nnot ot a pplace lace Paul. Paul. It's It's a name. nam e. Arthur's PAUL PAUL 'm nnot ot good good at at geology. geology. So what. w h a t. So II'm (to A r th u r ) (to Arthur) my girl girl got got it! it! But I sspeak peak fist fist real real good. good. Alice Alice is is my But ARTHUR ARTHUR ta lk in g … I was was just just talking… (PRESTON ggrabs rabs the the bbook fr o m H IS bback ack pocket—HE pocket—HE tturns urns aand nd ttries ries to to get get it it back) back) ook from (PRESTON HIS He y! Hey! PRESTON PRESTON Wh at's this!? th is !? What's (struggling to to pronounce pronounce the the title) title ) (struggling Ro -mayo and and Ju-leet? Ju-leet? Ro-mayo ARTHUR ARTHUR Romeo Romeo and and Juliet. J u lie t. PARKER PARKER This This book book ddoesn’t oesn’t have have any any pictures… p ic tu re s … ARTHUR ARTHUR It's It's Shakespeare. Shakespeare. PAUL PAUL Oh a ssmart mart mouth mouth huh!? h u h !?


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ALICE ALICE (bored, (bored, sshe's he's sseen een tthis his before before too too many many times) tim e s ) Leave Leave him him alone alone Paul. P a u l. ALLISON ALLISON C'mon Alice, C'mon A lice, they're they're just just talking. ta lk in g . PAUL PAUL Yeah Yeah we're we're just just talking. talking. So, So, new new kid, kid, you you play play ball? ball? ARTHUR ARTHUR Not Not really. r e a lly . PAUL PAUL Yeah , well well if if you you were were gonna, gonna, what what color Yeah color would would you you be? be? ARTHUR ARTHUR Color? Color? PARKER PARKER think he’s he’s green. green. I think PRESTON PRESTON Yeah. Ye ah. Or oorange. ran g e. ARTHUR ARTHUR what I don’t don’t know know w hat you’re you’re ttalking alking about. a b o u t. ALLISON ALLISON Du h, tthe he order order of of pplay lay is is always… always… Duh, ALL ALL Blue, red, red, black, black, yellow, yellow, green, green, orange. o ra n g e . Blue, MUSIC CUE UE 003: 3: W WE’RE E’RE NOT W WEIRD E IR D MU S IC C ART ARTHUR HUR (s n ic k e r in g ) (snickering) hat croquet Is tthat me right? right? croquet talk? talk? You're You're kidding kidding me ALICE ALICE WITTY PRETTY FACES RETTY F ACES WI TTY BOYS BOYS WITH WITH P SOMETIMES DON’T KNOW WHERE PLACE IIS S SO M E T IM E S D O N ’T K NOW W HERE THEIR THEIR PLACE SLOW DOWN, NEW KID, YOU MOVE TOO SL OW D OWN, N EW K ID, ‘CAUSE ‘CAUSE Y OU M OVE T OO FAST FAST WOULDN’T WANT DAY TO LAST! WO ULDN’T WA NT THIS T H IS D AY T O BE BE YOUR L AST!

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WWO ONNDDEERR LL AA NN DD HHI IGGHH (ALICE) (ALICE) LACE HE RE SEEM P RETTY OUT OF P YOU SEEM PRETTY PLACE HERE OSE THE THE SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE DB ETTER L AND YOU' YOU'D BETTER LOSE ABELLED AS AS A FREAK FREAK LL E ND UP L OR YOU' YOU'LL END LABELLED EARN BEFORE BEFORE YOU YOU S SUGGEST YOU YOU L PEAK I SUGGEST LEARN SPEAK ARTHUR ARTHUR

mean “listen” “listen” before before I speak? speak? Don’t you mean Don’t ALLISON ALLISON say, “listen?” “ lis te n ? ” Did she she say, Did ALICE ALICE GAMES AR EW EIRD BE CAUSE Y OU'RE N EW OUR GAMES ARE WEIRD BECAUSE YOU'RE NEW AY T HINK W E'RE DUMB DUMB AND YOU M MAY THINK WE'RE OINT OF VI EW IIS S ALL ALL ASKEW ASKEW YOUR P POINT VIEW HERE YOU'RE YOU'RE COMING C O M IN G F ROM BECAUSE O FW BECAUSE OF WHERE FROM FACT A ND FI C T IO N W ALK THE THE HALL HALL FACT AND FICTION WALK MUCH C LOSER THAN THAN Y OU TH IN K MUCH CLOSER YOU THINK EC AN M AKE YOU FEEL FEEL SMALL SMALL AND W WE CAN MAKE JUST F ROM W HAT Y OU C HOOSE T NOT JUST FROM WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO OE EAT AT AND D DRINK R IN K ‘CAUSE ‘CAUSE ALL ALL WE'RE N OT WEIRD, WEIRD, WE'RE NOT IT'S IT 'S YOU! YOU! WE'RE DUMB, B, AND W E'RE NOT DUM IT'S IT 'S YOU! YOU! GROUP GROUP 2 GUESS WHAT? THAT’S RIGHT! GUE SS W HAT? T HAT’S R IGHT! IT’S IT’S YOU! YOU! ALL ALL P-O-V YOUR P -O -V IS W WORTHLESS HERE, YOU’LL ERE, Y OU’LL SEE SEE ORTHLESS H FACE THE FACTS AND GET ND G ET A CLUE! CLUE! FACE T HE FA CTS A GROUP GROUP 2 EVIDENTLY, EV IDENTLY, ALL AL L WE’RE ODD, WE ’RE NOT NOT O DD, IT’S YOU! IT ’S Y OU! GROUP GR OUP 1 DID HEAR? DI D YA HE AR?


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ALL ALL THE OUTCAST HERE THE O UTCAST H ERE IS (N (NO ONE ELSE BUT LITTLE OO NE E LSE B UT LI TTLE NEW) NEW) YOU! YOU! AND W WE WON’T BUDGE EW ON’T B UDGE YOU’VE RIGHT YOU’VE GOT NO R IGHT TO JJUDGE UDGE ANYTHING WE SAY ANYTHING W ES AY AND DO! ARTHUR ARTHUR ot judging judging yyou. ou. IItt just just doesn’t doesn’t make make any any sense sense to me. m e. I’m nnot PAUL PAUL thinks we’re we’re nonsense! nonsense! He thinks PRESTON PRESTON Maybe he he should should give give us us some some money. m oney. Maybe ALLISON ALLISON Give us us a penny penny ffor your thoughts. th o u g h ts . Give or your SANDY SANDY That’s good good cents! c e n ts ! That’s ARTHUR ARTHUR Wait! Wait! ALICE ALICE ONDERLAND, T HE D IE IS CAST: CAST: AT W WONDERLAND, THE DIE YOU’LL S ING THE THE S ONG W ES IN G , YOU’LL SING SONG WE SING, LSE YOUR S INGING D AYS A RE P AST. OR E ELSE SINGING DAYS ARE PAST. MUSIC IIS SAW HOLE N EW THING. T H IN G . OUR MUSIC WHOLE NEW ANSWERS THAT THAT YOU US ED T O KNOW ANSWERS USED TO INVOLVED A W ORD C ALLED ““YES,” YES,” INVOLVED WORD CALLED BUT NOW NOW Y OU K NOW , W EK NEW, YOU’RE Y O U ’R E N EW, IIT’S T’S ““NO,” N O ,” BUT YOU KNOW, WE KNEW, NEW, AKE A GUE SS! DON’ TE VEN HAVE T OT DON’T EVEN TO TAKE GUESS! ALL AL L WE'RE WE 'RE NOT NOT WEIRD WEIRD IT'S YOU IT 'S Y OU AND WE'RE WE'RE NOT DUMB DUMB IT'S IT'S YOU YOU YOUR P P-O-V -O -V IS W WORTHLESS HERE, ORTHLESS H ERE, YOU’LL SEE YOU’LL S EE FACE THE FACTS FACE T HE FA CTS AND GET GET A CLUE CLUE

ARTHUR ARTHUR WHAT? WHAT? HEY, WATCH THE HEY, W ATCH T HE COLLAR! COLLAR! I DIDN’T… DIDN’T… WAIT! WAIT! NO NE NEED HOLLAR! ED TO TO HOL LAR! POINT TO O THE THE POINT ME ME T PLACE PLACE FOR FOR A CLUE! CLUE! WOULD YOU LISTEN? WOULD Y OU L IS T E N ?


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(ALL) (ALL) WE’RE NOT NOT ODD, ODD, WE’RE IT’S Y OU! IT’S YOU! THE O UTCAST H THE OUTCAST HERE ERE OU! IS Y YOU! UDGE EW ON’T B AND W WE WON’T BUDGE YOU’VE GOT NO R IGHT YOU’VE RIGHT UDGE TO JJUDGE AY ANYTHING W ES ANYTHING WE SAY AND DO

(ARTHUR) (ARTHUR) WELL… WELL… EEM KI ND OF YOU DO S SEEM KIND ODD… THOUGHT I H AD A I THOUGHT HAD MODEST C HARM, N O? MODEST CHARM, NO? REALLY? REALLY?

ALL ALL ‘CAUSE W E’RE NOT NOT WEIRD WEIRD ‘CAUSE WE’RE WE’RE NOT NOT WEIRD WEIRD WE’RE IT’S… IT’S… ARTHUR ARTHUR WHY? WHY? ALL ALL ‘CAUSE! ‘CAUSE! ARTHUR ARTHUR OH! ALL ALL NO, YOU! WE’RE WE’RE NOT NOT WEIRD, WEIRD, IT’S IT’S YOU! YOU! PAUL PAUL (grabbing (grabbing ARTHUR ARTHUR by by hhis is ccollar) o lla r ) Let Let me me fit fit you you into into your your new new cast! c a s t! COACH BARKER’s COACH B ARKE KER R’s voice voice rings rings out out as as HE HE re-enters re-enters tthe he gym. gym. COACH COACH BARKER BARKER Mr.. W Williams! Mr illia m s ! There There is is a sslight light pause PAUL ppoises oises to hit hit ARTHUR. ARTHUR. PAUL’s PAUL’s friend friend PRESTON PRESTON taps ta tap ps pause as as PAUL him him on the the back. back. PRESTON PRESTON Heyy Paul! He Paul! Coach Coach is is calling calling you. you.


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PAUL PAUL (He (He ffreezes, reezes, mid-punch) mid-punch) Yeah coach? coach? Yeah COACH COACH BARKER BARKER Remember, Principal Principal Cheshire time, you're you're suspended. s u s p e n d e d. Cheshire said said if if you you get Remember, get caught caught fighting fighting one one more more time, (PAUL thinks thinks aand nd pulls pulls his his arm arm back back to to hit hit ARTHUR ARTHUR again) a g a in ) (PAUL And tthat hat means means you’re the match match tomorrow. tomorrow. you’re benched benched for for the And (same business business aagain) g a in ) (same ore croquet. c r o q u e t. No m more beat, and and then then PAUL PAUL lets lets ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR go go begrudgingly. b e g r u d g in g ly . A beat, PAUL PAUL roblem coach! coach! No pproblem (to A RTH UR) (to ARTHUR) won't always always be be there there to to watch watch your your back. back. You get get a freebee freebee this this time time Mr. Mr. Kidd, Kidd, but but Barker Barker won't You (aside to to P RESTON and and PARKER) PARKER) (aside PRESTON won't wi ll he? he? He won't will ND PA RKER PRESTON A PRESTON AND PARKER don't tthink hink so, so, I mean mean probably probably not. n o t. I don't PAUL PAUL (to A r th u r ) (to Arthur) This isn't isn't over. o v er. This (As T HEY eexit xit – to PRESTON) PRESTO N ) (As THEY Wh ere is is this this Arthur Arthur place place anyway? anyway? Where PRESTON PRESTON No rway I tthink. h in k . Norway PAUL PAUL They hhave ave croquet croquet there? th e re ? They PRESTON PRESTON I don't don't tthink hink so. so . PAUL PAUL Pfffft. Stupid country! c o u n tr y ! Pffffft. Stupid Pf to get get The The bell bell rings rings and and everyone everyone leaves the room. room. ALLISON ALLI LLISSON pushes ARTHUR aside aside to leaves the pushes ARTHUR past him past him. him. ALICE starts as the the scene scene ALICE ssmiles miles ssmugly mugl uglyy at hi m and walks walks past. past. MUSIC MUSI SIC C starts changes changes aaround round ARTHUR. ARTH UR. ARTHUR lo n e . ARTH ART HUR stands stands aalone.


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WWO ONNDDEERR LL AA NN DD HHI IGGHH MU MUSIC S IC C CUE UE 004: 4: D DID ID S SHAKESPEARE HAKESPEARE EVER EVER F FEEL EEL THIS THIS WAY? WAY?

ART ARTHUR HUR I can't can't believe believe I was was just just threatened threatened by by a croquet croquet player player named named Paul Paul Williams. W illia m s . DI DID DS SHAKESPEARE HAKESPEARE E EVER VER F FEEL EEL THIS T H IS W WAY AY WH WHEN EN H HE E SAT SAT D DOWN OWN T TO O WR WRITE IT E A P PLAY? LAY? DID EVER PAUSE DID HE E VER STOP STOP AND P AUSE NOT GOING BECAUSE GOING ON B ECAUSE HE'D LOST LONGED TO SAY? WORDS HE L ONGED T OS HE'D L OST THE THE WORDS AY? DID EVER FEEL DID SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE E VER F EEL THIS THIS WAY? WAY? DID EVER WANT TO FADE VER W ANT T OF ADE DID SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE E AWAY FROM OTHERS HIS GRADE? AW AY F ROM OT HERS IIN N HI S GR ADE? DID TOSS TURN DI D HE T OSS AND T URN UR N AT AT NIGHT N IG H T BECAUSE HE TO FIGHT BE CAUSE H E HAD HAD T OF IGHT THE FEELING MIGHT BE IG H T B E BETRAYED? BETRAYED? TH EF EELING HE HE M DID EVER FEEL DID SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE E VER F EEL AFRAID? A F R A ID ? WAS WAS HE HE HIP? H IP ? WAS WAS HE HE COOL? COOL? DID FIT HIS SCHOOL? DID HE F IT IIN N AT HI SS CHOOL? DID LIKE HIM DID THEY THEY L IKE HI M OR DI DID THEY STRIKE HIM DOWN? DT HEY S TRIKE H IM D OW N? WAS WAS HE HE TEASED? TEASED? WAS WA S HE HE SHOVED? SHOVED? DID FEEL LIKE WAS OR DID THEY LAUGH WHEN S LOVED LOVED O RD ID T HEY L AUGH W HEN HE DID HE F EEL L IKE HE WA MOVED TO TOWN? OWN? MOVED IIN NT OT MAYBE THE FELT OKAY, BUT, HEY... ELT O KAY, B UT, HE Y... MA YBE T HE GUY GUY F moves (HE m (HE oves ddown own as as tthe he curtain curtain closes closes behind behind HIM) HIM IM)) DID SHAKESPEARE FEEL HE FREE DI DS HAKESPEARE F EEL H E WASN'T W A S N 'T F REE BE HE BE?? TO B E THE THE PERSON PERSON H E COULD COULD BE DID MAYBE TO HIDE OH ID E DI D HE M AYBE HAVE T THE THINGS HE FELT TH E TH IN G S H EF ELT IINSIDE NSIDE BECAUSE BE CAUSE THE THE WORLD WORLD WOULD WOULD DISAGREE? DISAGREE? DID EVER FEEL... DID SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE E VER F EEL... FEEL ME? FEEL LIKE L IK E M E? Music Music Cue Cue on on APPLAUSE. APPLAUSE. ARTHUR ARTHUR exits exits as as the the scene scene changes. changes. 4a: SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE P MUSIC CUE PLAYOFF L A Y O FF MU S IC C UE 004a:


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SCENE BATHROOM SCENE THREE: THREE: THE THE GIRLS’ GIRLS’ B ATHROOM MUSSIC O MU UT aass llights ights ccome ome uup. p. A LICE and and A LLISON aare re ttouching ouching up ttheir heir makeup mak akeeup MUSIC OUT ALICE ALLISON DEE DEE DEE braids braids ALICIA’s ALICI CIA A’s hair. hair. SANDY SA AND NDY is is in in the the bathroom bathroom stall. while while DEE s ta ll. ALLISON ALLISON Can Can you you believe believe the the nerve nerve of of that that new new kid kid talking talking to to Paul Paul like like that? th a t? ALICIA ALICIA I know, right? know, ri g h t? ALLISON ALLISON I mean, mean, who who does does he he think think he he is? is ? SANDY SANDY (inside the the stall) (inside stall) Um, Um, help... h e lp ... DEE DEE DEE DEE What's What's the the matter? m a tte r? SANDY SANDY I think think I'm I'm stuck? s tu c k ? ALICIA ALICIA So, undo undo tthe he latch. la tc h . So, SANDY SANDY Oh, right! r ig h t! Oh, oilet flushes ffllushes and and SANDY SA AN NDY steps steps out out of of the the stall) s ta ll) (a ttoilet ALLISON ALLISON mean, if if Paul Paul were were my my man, man, I never never would would have I mean, have let let him him get get away away with with it. it. ALICE ALICE Oh, Oh, Arthur Arthur ddidn't idn't mean mean anything anything by by it. it. ALLISON AL L IS O N Oh, Oh, you you kknow now hhis is nname? am e? SANDY SA NDY I think think he's he's cute! c u te ! ALICIA AL ICIA We Well, ll, yeah, yeah, but but he's he's not not on on the the team. te a m .


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Alice, do do you you think think he’s he’s cute? c u te ? Alice, ALICE ALICE seems nice nice enough. enough. He seems SANDY SANDY …and smart. smart. He He reads reads Shakespeare. S h ak esp eare. …and (TH (T HEY aall ll llook ook aatt HER HER like like she's she's stupid) s tu p id ) (THEY What?! Shakespeare's Shakespeare's hard. h ard . What?! ALLISON ALLISON Paul's bbody ody is is hhard, ard, Shakespeare's Shakespeare's just just stupid. s tu p id . Paul's SANDY SANDY I'm ssoo cconfused. onfused. I tthought hought Paul Paul was was stupid? s tu p id ? I'm DEE DEE DEE DEE Sandy! Sandy! Sh Shh... h ... MU MUSIC CUE GIRL TALK S IC C UE 005: 5: G IR L T ALK ALICE ALICE andy. P aul iiss a little stupid. stupid. It's OK Sandy. Paul It 's O KS HANDS OME YE S, HANDSOME YES, BUT TOO BRIGHT BU T NOT NOT T OO BRI GHT LIKES SWEAR LI KES TO S WEAR LOVES TO FIGHT AND L OVES T OF IGHT ALL HIS ARE FILLED AL L HI S ““THOUGHTS” THOUGHTS” A RE F ILLED WITH WITH SMUT SM UT BUT AWF’LY CUTE WHEN HIS SHUT BU T HE’S H E ’S A WF’LY CU TE W HEN H IS MOUTH MOUTH IIS SS HUT ALLISON AL L IS O N PAUL’S I THINK THINK P AUL’S THE PERFECT TH EP ERFECT GUY GUY BIG DUMB BI G AND AND D UMB HE M MAKES ME SIGH IGH AKES M ES IF H HE HIM TIGHT ’D HOLD HOLD H IM T IG H T E WERE WERE MINE, MINE, II’D ON OC OCCASION, DUMB'S ALL RIGHT B'S AL LR IGHT CASION, DUM GIRLS GI RLS SURPRISE SURPRISE MOST ARE STUPID MOST BOYS BOYS A RE S T U P ID HE’S CUTE HE’S C UTE DON’T SHOOT CUPID SO D ON’T SH OOT C UPID FALL LOVE NOT UNTIL UNTIL I F ALL IIN N LO VE WANT TO LOVE TODAY I JUST JU S T W ANT T O BE BE IN L OVE T ODAY


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SANDY SANDY Did yyou ou know know tthat They ggoo together! together! Did hat “Cupid” “Cupid” is is the the only only word word that that rhymes rhymes with with “stupid?” “stupid?” They DEE DEE DEE DEE STILL, I LIKE L IK E STILL, THE B RAINY TY PE THE BRAINY TYPE SANDY SANDY NEW BOY’S BOY’S CUTE CUTE NEW WOULDN’T GRIPE GRIPE I WOULDN’T ALICIA ALICIA ARES HOW GOOD HE L OOKS NO ONE C CARES LOOKS WANT BOYS BOYS W HO W ANNA CHECK CHECK ME ME OUT BOOKS! I WANT WHO WANNA OUT,, NOT BOOKS! AL ICE ALICE ARTHUR’S NE W ARTHUR’S NEW IV E H IM T IM E SO G GIVE HIM TIME BEING N E W 'S BEING NEW'S HIS ONL YC R IM E HIS ONLY CRIME PA UL C AN A LSO B EAF L IR T , PAUL CAN ALSO BE FLIRT, GUESS A L ITTLE FLIRTING FLIRTING N EVER H URT GUESS LITTLE NEVER HURT SURPRISE SURPRISE ARTHUR’S NOT S TUPID ARTHUR’S STUPID ASTUTE ASTUTE HELLO? WHERE’S WHERE’S CUPID? CUPID? HELLO? AUL A ND L OVE TO DI SCOUNT P NOT TO DISCOUNT PAUL AND LOVE UITE LOVE, LOVE, T ODAY HAVE P AUL, B UT N OT Q I HAVE PAUL, BUT NOT QUITE TODAY DEE and DEE DEE and SSANDY AN A NDY giggle. g ig g le . DEE ALLISON ALLISON I can’t you just just said said that! th a t! can’t believe believe you AL ICE ALICE it. I didn’t. didn’t. I sang sang it. AL L IS O N ALLISON YOU HAVE GOT WH AT M OST G IR L S D REA M WHAT MOST GIRLS DREAM HEAD STUD HE AD S TUD THE CROQUET TEAM OF T HE C ROQUET T EAM WERE YOU, I'D SHUT QUICK IF I W ERE Y OU, I' DS HUT UP QUI CK WHEN YOU GRIPE ABOUT PAUL, MAKES ME SICK. WH EN Y OU G R IP E A BOUT P AUL, IIT TM AKES M ES ICK.


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ALICE ALICE Chillax, Allison. A llis o n . Chillax, ALICIA ALICIA think Allison Allison is is right. right. The The Victory Victory Dance Dance is is tomorrow tomorrow and and I still still don’t don’t have have a date! date! Listening Listening to to I think complain about about Paul Paul is is ridiculous. ridiculous. you complain DEE DEE DEE DEE I'd llove ove eeven ven just just half half of of what what you you have have with with Paul. P a u l. I'd SANDY SANDY Yeah, I'd I'd ssettle ettle for for just just a part. p a r t. Yeah, DEE DEE DEE DEE Which part? p a rt? Which SANDY SANDY that could could crush crush me me in in his his aarms. The The part part that rms. what she she has has said. s a id . Musicians Musicians stop stop playing playing in of what in disbelief disbelief of DEE DEE DEE DEE That That would would be be his his arms. arm s. THE TH EY aall ll laugh. laugh. Music Music rresumes. esum es. THEY ALLISON ALLISON Secret! Speaking Secret! Sp eaking of of crushes, crushes, Alicia Alicia has has a crush crush on on Parker! Parker! ALICIA ALICIA Allison! Allison! SANDY SANDY Well, Well, if if you you don’t, don’t, I’ll I’ll take take Parker. Parker. DEE DEE DE E DE E Me ttoo. oo. Or Or Preston! P r e s to n ! SANDY SANDY Oh, double date date with with him! h im ! Oh, Preston! Preston! Maybe Maybe we could could go go on on a double ALICIA ALICIA You You two two are are ridiculous! r id ic u lo u s ! ALICE ALICE We’re We ’re all all ridiculous. ridiculous. Fighting Fighting over over boys boys is is dumb. dum b.


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GIRLS GIRLS SURPRISE SURPRISE GIRLS CAN BE STUPID GIRLS C AN B ES TUPID THAT'S WHY THAT'S W HY LL NEED NEED CUPID C U P ID WE A ALL IN LOVE LOVE ALL WANT WANT TO TO FALL FALL IN WE ALL NL OVE T ODAY UST WANT WANT T OB E IIN WE JJUST TO BE LOVE TODAY SC ENE F OUR: OUTSIDE ATHROOM OUTSIDE THE THE GIRLS’ GIRLS’ B SCENE FOUR: BATHROOM Th OYS aare re w aiting for for the the GIRLS. GIRLS. Thee B BOYS waiting PA UL PAUL Wh do ggirls irls aalways do in in there? th e re ? What do do you you think think they they do lways go go to to the the bathroom bathroom together? together? What Whyy do PR ESTO N PRESTON Ma ybe tthey hey hold hold each touch the the seat. seat. each other other up up so so they they don’t don’t touch Maybe PA RKER PARKER (t r e s to n ) (too P Preston) Wh o are are you you going going to to invite invite to to the the Cotillion Cotillion Victory Victory Dance? D ance? Who PR ESTO N PRESTON I thought thought I’d aask sk Alicia. Alicia. You? Y ou? PA RKER PARKER I thought thought I might might ask ask Allison. A llis o n . PA UL PAUL Al ic e ? ! Alice?! PA RKER PARKER No lison. No!! Al Allison. PA UL PAUL Who’s Wh o’s tthat? h a t? PR ESTO N PRESTON Thee other Th other one. one. PA UL PAUL Oh.. Ok Okay. Oh ay.

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PARKER PARKER eat, changing changing the the subject) s u b je c t) (a bbeat, Dance?" they know w we're e're gonna gonna w win? in? ance?" How How ddoo th ey know Why do do they they call call it it the the "Cotillion "Cotillion Vi c to r y D Why Victory PRESTON PRESTON win We aalways lw a y s w in Cotillion. Cotillion. It's It's like… like… like… lik e … PAUL PA UL cotillionth time time we’ve we’ve won. w on. Like Li ke the the cotillionth GIRLS GIR GI RLS ccome ome oout ut of of tthe he bathroom. bathroom. ALLISON AL L IS O N Hi,, boys. Hi boys. PARKER PA RKER (nervously) (n errvvously) Hi,, Allison. Hi Allison. ALICIA AL ICIA What’s with Wh at’s wrong w ro n g w ith him? h im ? PRESTON PR ESTO N I think think he he wants wants to to ask ask Allison Allison a question. q u e s tio n . PAUL PARKER is (HE (H E aand nd P AUL ssnicker. nicker. PARKER is tongue-tied) tongue-tied) Romayo! Go aahead, head, R om ayo! ALLISON AL L IS O N What What are are you you cards cards ttalking alking about? a b o u t? PARKER PA RKER Allison… might Allison… I was was wondering wondering if if yyou ou m ight want want to to consider consider going going to to the the Cotillion Cotillion dance dance with with me? m e? ALLISON ALLISON Let Let me me think think about about that? that? No. No. Sorry. Sorry. I’ve I’ve got got other other plans. plans. Ask Ask a Tweedle. Tweedle. PARKER PARK ER is is about about to to take take ALLISON’s advice, when interrupts. terrupts. when ALICIA ALICIA in ALLISON’s advice, ALICIA AL ICIA Take ne for for the Ta ke oone the team. team. I'll I'll go go with with you. you. PRESTON PR ESTO N But, was But, I w as ggonna onna aask sk you. you. DEE DEE DE E DE E You Yo u ccan an ttake ake me. m e.


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SANDY SANDY And to o . And me me too. PRESTON PRESTON Score! Score! ALLISON ALLISON Well, Well, I guess guess that that all all worked worked out. o u t. ALICE ALICE But, But, Allison, Allison, “Other “Other plans?” plans?” You’ve You’ve got got to to come come to Cotillion! Cotillion! ALLISON ALLISON Oh, I’ll I’ll be be there. there. Just Just not not with with one one of of these these cards. card s. Oh, THE BOYS BOYS nnudge udge eeach ach other. o th e r . THE PAUL PAUL gotta go go to to the the john. jo h n . I gotta (HE hheads eads off. off. PRESTON PRESTON and and PARKER PARKER stand stand there) th e r e ) (HE Well, are are you you coming? c o m in g ? Well, PRESTON A ND PA RKER PRESTON AND PARKER Yeah. Sure. S u re . Yeah. THE BOYS BOYS eexit. x it. THE SANDY SANDY Why do do they they do do that? th a t? Why OTHER GIRLS GIRLS OTHER Because they’re they’re stupid. s tu p id . Because ALICIA ALICIA But at at least least we we have have dates dates for for the the dance! dance! But MU S IC C UE 005a: 5a: G IR L T ALK RE MUSIC CUE GIRL TALK REPRISE PRISE GI RLS GIRLS SU RPRISE SURPRISE ‘T HOUGH B OYS A RE S TUPID ‘THOUGH BOYS ARE STUPID WE ’RE HOOKED HOOKED ((HOOKED, HOOKED, H OOKED, H WE’RE HOOKED, HOOKED) OOKED) TH REE C HEERS FOR FOR CUPID THREE CHEERS CUPID ALL WANT LOVE WE A LL WA NT TO FALL FALL IN IN LO VE TO BE TODAY! WE JJUST UST WANT WANT T OB E IIN N LOVE LOVE T ODAY!

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SCENE FI VE: HALLWAY/BOOKSTORE HALLWAY/BOOKSTORE SCENE FIVE: see HARRY HARRY in in the the hallway. hallway. HE HE checks checks HIS HIS watch watch and and then then walks walks up up to to a door door marked m arked We see "Ja "J anitor's Closet" Closet" and and knocks knocks three three times. times. The The door door opens opens slightly. s lig h tly . "Janitor's HARRY HARRY Alright, Katt, Alright, Katt, get get ready. ready. You've You've got got ten ten minutes. minutes. The flies KATT cash The door door ffl lies open open and and K ATT steps steps out out with with a small small draped draped table. table. On On the the table table is is a cash box and a clipboard. bell rings hall. clipboard. The The bell rings and STUDENTS STUDENTS begin to enter enter the the hall. begin to KATT KATT (like (like a circus circus barker) b a rker) Step bartering Step right right up! up! Let Let the the ba rtering begin. begin. (ARTHUR walks (ARTHUR w alks uup p and for a moment.) and watches watches for m o m e n t.) We've juice and phone batteries, We've ggot ot a special special today today on on cell cell phone batteries, canned canned juice and Pawn Pawn Coupons. Coupons. Each Each Pawn Paw n Coupon ne ““don’t don’t throw throw me me to to the the Jub Jub Jub Jub bird” bird” or or “Pig “Pig and and Pepper Pepper Me.” M e .” is good good for for oone Coupon is There who Cotillion There is is a ssteady teady stream stream ooff STUDENTS STU D EN TS w ho ppass ass bbyy tto o ppurchase urchase C otillion Votes. Votes. During During the the following following KATT KA K ATT does brisk bbusiness. does a brisk usiness. VARIOUS STUDENTS VARIOUS S TUDENTS Did myy order order arrive? arrive? I need need it it by by Tuesday. Tuesday. Do you you have have one one in in blue? Did m blue? etc. e tc . ARTHUR ARTHUR (to Harry) (to H a rry) Hey Harry, what’s rry, wh at’s tthis? h is ? He y Ha HARRY HARRY This the underground underground sstudent tudent bookstore. bookstore. Katt’s janitor. She She made made a deal deal to Katt’s uncle uncle is the the school school janitor. Th is is the usee the space between between classes classes as as long long as as we we don’t don’t get get caught. caught. Whatever Whatever you need need you can can find find it fi it us the space here. he re . ARTHUR ARTHUR Curiouser nd curiouser. c u rio u s e r. Cu riouser aand MARIANNE table. MARIA AN NNE steps steps up up to to the the table. MARIANNE MARIANNE (to Katt) (to K a tt) Hey, Hey, Katt, Katt, you you look look pretty pretty busy. busy. KATT KATT I know, know, iit's t's aalmost lmost becoming becoming too too much much for for me me to to handle. handle. What What can can I get get for for you? you? MARIANNE MARIANNE Well, Well, it’s it’s soggy soggy pizza pizza day day in in the the cafetorium. cafetorium. I was was hoping hoping to to upgrade upgrade my my lunch lunch plan. p la n .


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KATT KATT We ll, there’s there’s a fresh Well, fresh turducken turducken sandwich, sandwich, with with grapes grapes and and cranberry cranberry compote. c o m p o te . MARIANNE MARIANNE I’m aallergic llergic to to grapes. grapes. ta b le . KATT KATT pputs uts some some ssack ack lunches lunches and and lunchboxes lunchboxes on on the the table. ST AN STAN (i n te r r u p tin g ) (interrupting) Qu ick, I need need a Pawn Pawn Coupon! C oupon! Quick, KA TT KATT Ok ay. T hat's two two dollars. d o lla r s . Okay. That's ST AN STAN I only only hhave ave a dollar dollar seventy-five. seventy-five. KA TT KATT No, No, credit. c r e d it. ST AN STAN Damn. Damn. STA ST AN A N walks walks away away defeated. deffeated. de STAN MARIANNE MARIANNE to a brown brown bag) bag) (pointing (pointing to fresh? I just just need need something something simple. simple. Is the the sushi sushi fresh? KATT KATT Came in in this this morning. m o rn in g . Came Y and and D ORA eenter. nter. MATT MA TT, A PRIL MA MATT sshould hould have have a ffunny unny hat, hat, APRIL APRIL MAY M AY MATT, APRIL MAY DORA in the the school school and and DORA DORA should should ave hair hair that that is is twice twice as as big big as as any any other other girl girl in should sh ould hhave asleep. and falling falling asleep. keep yawning yawning and AP RIL M AY APRIL MAY Hey Matt, He yM att, I llike ike your your hat. h a t. MA TT MATT Thanks. Th anks. I llike ike your your hair. h a ir. DORA DO RA She's two make Sh e's hhad ad iitt that that way way since since March. March. You You tw om ake me me tired. tired.


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APRIL MAY MAY APRIL (marches uup p tto oH a rry) (marches Harry) Harry, we need need ten ten more more Votie-Slip Votie-Slip Value-Packs. Value-Packs. Harry, MATT MATT We’re on on lunch lunch duty duty today. to d a y . We’re DORA DORA I don’t I’lll make don’t know know hhow ow I’l make it it through, through, I’m about about ready ready to to drop. drop. ARTHUR ARTHUR What What are are those? th o s e ? HARRY HARRY Preprinted Preprinted Cotillion Cotillion Votie-Slip Votie-Slip packs. packs. ARTHUR ARTHUR Pre-printed? Pre-printed? HARRY HARRY Yeah. on them. th e m . Yeah. With With Alice Alice and and Pauls' Pauls' names names on ARTHUR ARTHUR What th e m ? What does does someone someone do do with with ten ten of of them? HARRY HARRY IItt doesn't doesn't really really matter. matter. We We all all know know who's who's going going to win win the the Lobster Lobster Bowl Bowl and and who who will will be be crowned Lobster crowned L obster King King and and Queen. Queen.

MARIANNE MARIA AN NNE has has been been looking looking at at HARRY HARRY this this whole whole time time - to ARTHUR, ARTHUR, but but still still looking looking at H HARRY ARRY - oone ne long long sentence. sentence. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Nothing Nothing has has changed changed since since the the school school was was built built over over thirty thirty years years ago. ago. We We always always win win the the match m a tc h andd the and Queen isn't that that right right Harry? Harry? Head Cheerleader Cheerleader and he Rover Rover are Queen isn't are always always voted voted King King and an the Head and tthe HARRY HA RRY (smitten) (smitten) Yes, Yes, tthat's hat's right, right, Marianne. M a r ia n n e . HARRY MARIANNE ARIANNE ggiggles. ig g le s . HARRY giggles. g ig g le s . M HARRY MARIANNE HARRY snorts. s n o r ts . M ARIANNE ssnorts. n o r ts . ARTHUR ARTHUR So, So, are are you you two two a… a…


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HARRY MARIANNE HARRY & M A R IA N N E (quickly (quickly moving moving apart) a p a r t) No… No… no… no… we’re we’re not… n o t… ARTHUR ARTHUR Oh, That hat was was awkward. awkward. Oh, sorry. so rry . T KATT KATT So, So, you you must must be be the the new new kid. k id . HARRY HARRY Katt, Katt, this this is is Arthur. Arthur. ARTHUR ARTHUR Hi. Hi. Quite Quite a set set up up you you got got here. h e re . KATT KATT Oh, Oh, you you don’t don’t know know tthe he half. h a lf . MU S IC C UE 006: 6: S UPPLY A ND D EM AND MUSIC CUE SUPPLY AND DEMAND here’s any any thing thing you you need, need, you you ccome ome to to Katt. K a tt. If tthere’s MY B O O K S T O R E ’S S TOCKED A ND R EADY BOOKSTORE’S STOCKED AND READY GET READY FOR WHAT’S GE TR EADY F OR W HAT’S IIN N STORE STORE EVERYTHING THAT YOU COULD NEED EV ERYTHING TH AT Y OU CO ULD N EED ABUNDANT GALORE AB UNDANT AND GAL ORE I’LL PROVIDE MOST ANYTHING I’L LP ROVIDE M OST A NYTHING YOU HAVE KA-CHING. IF Y OU H AVE K A-CHING. WHAT YOU I CAN CAN SUPPLY SUPPLY W HAT Y OU DEMAND DEMAND WISH MY COMMAND YOUR ANY W ISH IIS SM Y CO MMAND EVERYTHING THAT YOU EV ERYTHING TH AT Y OU DESIRE DESIRE FROM MY STOCK, YOU CAN AQUIRE FR OM M Y ST OCK, Y OU C AN AQUI RE MANY GOODIES THE STORE NT HE S TORE SO M ANY G OODIES IIN EVERYTHING YOU WANT MORE EV ERYTHING Y OU W ANT AND M ORE ALL TO ASK AL L YOU HAVE T O DO IIS SA SK PAY THE PRICE AND P AY T HE P R IC E MATT, DORA, APRIL MAY MA TT, D ORA, A PRIL MA Y SUPPLY, DEMAND SU PPLY, D EM AND IT’S ALL ON HAND IT ’S A LL O NH AND WONDERLAND IN W ONDERLAND

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WWO ONNDDEERR LL AA NN DD HHI IGGHH KATT KATT CAN PROVIDE PROVIDE M OST A NYTHING I CAN MOST ANYTHING OU’VE PRODUCE PRODUCE ENOUGH ENOUGH K A-CHING IF Y YOU’VE KA-CHING EE T HAT GR EAT HAT HAT ON ON M ATT? DO YOU S SEE THAT GREAT MATT? MATT MATT MY HAT R IGHT HE RE FROM FROM K ATT GOT MY RIGHT HERE KATT RAND NE W HAI RDO APRIL BRAND NEW HAIRDO APRIL MAY MAY GOT A B APRIL APRIL MAY MAY THAT MARCH, BUT, TRUE THAT WAS WAS IIN NM ARCH, B UT, YES YES IIT’S T ’S T RUE DORA DORA ALL TO ASK ALL YOU HAVE T O DO IIS SA SK KATT KATT AND P PAY AY T THE HE P PRICE R IC E MATT, DORA, APRIL MAY MATT, D ORA, A P R IL M AY SUPPLY, DEMAND SUPPLY, D EM AND IT’S ON HAND IT’S ALL ALL O NH AND IN W WONDERLAND ONDERLAND KAT T KATT

CHING! KA-CH KA-CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CH CHING!

KIDS KI DS (s (sotto otto voce) voce) WH IT E K ID G WHITE KID GLOVES, LOVES, A DISH DISH OF T TARTS ARTS STOLEN STOLEN BY BY T THE HE K KNAVE NAVE OF OF H HEARTS EARTS A PIDGEON PIDGEON E EGG, GG, A DR DRAGON-FLY AGON-FLY CHRISTMAS BO X, CHRISTMAS BOX, INCE M EAT P IE AND M MINCE MEAT PIE

KA-CH CHING! K A-CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CH CHING! K A-CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CHING! KA CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CH

KNI TTING NE EDLES US ED AS OAR S KNITTING NEEDLES USED OARS AB ROOCH, A S HAWL BROOCH, SHAWL AC HEST OF DR AWERS CHEST DRAWERS EV ERYTHING W EW ANT EVERYTHING WE WANT AND M ORE! MORE!

KA-CH CHING! KA-CHING! HA RRY HARRY I GOT GOT T HIS P OCKET W ATCH, IIT'S T'S N IFTY THIS POCKET WATCH, NIFTY RE ALLY T OP NOTCH, NOTCH, IIT TC OST M EF IF T Y REALLY TOP COST ME FIFTY MARIANNE MA R IA N N E I WAS WAS SO SO L ONELY, I B LONELY, BOUGHT PUPPY OUGHT A P UPPY


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STAN STAN GOT M MY FISH HERE YF ISH HE RE KATT KATT FANCY GUPPY! FANCY G UPPY! KID 1 KID KATT KI NDLY HE LPED T O PIERCE P IE R C E M YE ARS KATT KINDLY HELPED TO MY EARS KID 2 KID SHE NEARLY NEARLY C R IE D A P OOL OF T EARS SHE CRIED POOL TEARS ALL ALL ALL SHE SHE HAD T O DO W AS ASK ASK ALL TO WAS KATT KATT AY T HE P R IC E AND P PAY THE PRICE MATT, D ORA, A PRIL MA Y MATT, DORA, APRIL MAY SUPPLY, D EM AND SUPPLY, DEMAND IT’S ALL ALL O NH AND IT’S ON HAND ONDERLAND IN W WONDERLAND KID 3 KID PACK OF C ARDS! A PACK CARDS! KID 4 KID BOUGHT A T EAPOT! I BOUGHT TEAPOT! KID 5 KID PAIR OF S OCKS! A PAIR SOCKS! KID 6 KID POLKA DOT A POLKA DOT!! KID 7 (TALL (TALL KI D) KID KID) SOMETHING T OD RINK, IT MADE MADE M E SHRINK! SHRINK! SOMETHING TO DRINK, ME KATT KATT YEAH, WE’RE WE’RE BETTER BETTER OFF OFF I T H IN K ! YEAH, THINK! KID 8 KID I BOOKED FOOTMAN FOR MY BOOKED A F OOTM AN F OR M Y PARTY! PARTY! KID KID 9 A RABBIT’S RABBIT’S NOT NOTE, E, ‘‘CAUSE CAUSE I WAS WAS TARDY! TARDY!

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KIDS KI DS WHITE WHITE KID K ID G GLOVES, LOVES, A DISH TARTS DISH OF T ARTS STOLEN STOLEN BY BY T THE HE K KNAVE NAVE HEARTS OF HE ARTS PIDGEON EGG, AP IDGEON E GG, A DR AGON AGON-FLY DRAGON-FLY CH RISTMAS BO X, CHRISTMAS BOX, AND M INCE M EAT P IE MINCE MEAT PIE

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SU SUPPLY, PPLY, KA-CHING! KACHING! DE DEMAND MAND KACHING! KA-CHING! IT’S IT ’S ALL ALL ON HAND KACHING! K A-CHING! KA-CHING! KA-CHING! IN

KNI TTING NE EDLES US ED KNITTING NEEDLES USED S AS OAR OARS ROOCH, A S HAWL AB BROOCH, SHAWL AC HEST OF DR AWERS CHEST DRAWERS EV ERYTHING W EW ANT EVERYTHING WE WANT AND M ORE! MORE!

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KA TT KATT KA -CHING! KA-CHING! APPL AUSSE SEGUE AU SEGUE tto: o: APPLAUSE MU S IC C UE 06a: 06a: SUPPLY SUPPLY AND AND D EM AND – P LAYOFF MUSIC CUE DEMAND PLAYOFF Th bell rings. rings. Th stage clears clears as as KIDS KIIDS scatter K scatter and and run run to to class. class. As As the the scene scene changes changes Thee bell Thee stage behind them, them, FOUR FOUR GIRLS GIRLS (the (the GARDEN GARDEN GLEE GLEE GIRLS) GIRLS) gather gather downstage downstage for for a behind meeting. meeting. VI VIOLET OLET ily ! Hi,, R Rose! Hi,, Da Daisy! Hi,, L Lily! isy! Hi Hi ose! Hi DAISY DAISY Hi,, Vi Violet! Hi o le t! cross towards towards tthe ALLISON, ALICIA, GARDEN who ALLISON, AL ICIA, SSANDY AN AND DY and DEE DEE DEE DEE cross he G ARDEN GLEES GLEES w ho “freeze” “f “fr reeze” in in flower ffllower poses. poses. ALLISON ALLISON Ugh! Ug h! As IIf! f! QUADRILLES QUA DRILLES llaugh augh aand nd eexit, xit, GARDEN GARDE DEN N GLEES GLEES break break their their freeze. fr e e z e .


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LILY LILY They wilt! I just just want want to to whither whither and and die! d ie ! They make make me me wilt! VIOLET VIOLET Like Like weed weed poison poison for for the the soul. s o u l. DAISY DAISY Best Best not not to to talk talk about about it… it… or or talk talk at at all. a ll. ROSE ROSE (the (the leader, leader, like like an an Army Army Sergeant) Sergeant) t) Hold Hold your your heads heads high, from the the front front office! office! It’s high, girls! girls! Forget Forget about about them! them! I got got the the request request today today from I t’ s official! offficial! of DAISY DAISY Cheshire Cheshire came came through?! through?! We’ve We’ve been been asked asked to to sing sing at at the the Cotillion Cotillion Match?! Match?! ROSE ROSE Yes. Yes. THE with THE GIRLS GIRLS squeal squeal w ith delight. d e lig h t. VIOLET VIOLET I knew knew they’d they’d ccome ome around! around! LILY LILY What are are we going going to to sing? s in g ? How exciting! exciting! What How ROSE ROSE catch. We have have to to sing sing the the school Well, that’s that’s the the catch. Well, school song. song. “The “The Ode Ode of of Wonderland.” Wonderland.” THE TH EIR joy joy quickly quickly dissolves. dissolves. THEIR VIOLET VIOLET What? What? That That dirge? d irg e ? LILY LILY Are m e? Are you you kidding kidding me? VIOLET VIOLET The who like like that that song song are are Croq-heads! Croq-heads! They them luck! luck! They think think it it brings brings them The only only people people who ROSE ROSE Well, Well, that’s that’s the the deal. deal. I couldn’t couldn’t say say no. no. DAISY DAISY We thought thought this this might might happen. happen. That’s That���s why why I’ve I’ve started started to rewrite rewrite it.


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LILY LILY What do do you you mean, mean, “rewrite “rewrite it?” it?” It’s It’s “the “the school school song.” s o n g .” What VIOLET VIOLET You can’t can’t just just rewrite rewrite “the “the school school song!” so n g !” You DAISY DAISY Not “rewrite, “rewrite, it,” it. it,” but but sort sort of of “re-arrange” “re-arrange” it. Not LILY LILY (dooubtful) (d (doubtful) don’t know. know . I don’t ROSE ROSE What do do you you mean, mean, Daisy? D a is y ? What DAISY DAISY (producing sheets sheets of of music music from from HER HER pack pack and and handing handing them them out) o u t) (producing Look at at these. these. Violet, Violet, give give us us an an “E.” “E.” Look (VIO (V IOLET bblows lows aann “ E” oon n a ppitchpipe itchpipe – oorr aalternately, lternately, pulls pulls up up a pitch pitch pipe pipe app aap pp on on her her (VIOLET “E” plays an “E”) “E”) phone and plays Now, R ose, ggive ive us us tthe he bass. bass. T he rest rest of of you you ffollow ollow aalong. long. Now, Rose, The DE O FW ONDERLAND – G MUSIC CUE THE ODE OF WONDERLAND GARDEN GLEES MU S IC C UE 006b: 6b: T HE O ARDEN G LEES ##1 1 tart tto o ssing. in g . THE TH EY sstart THEY DAI SY AND T HE G ARDEN G LEES DAISY THE GARDEN GLEES O, W ONDERLAND! O, W ONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! THOUGH FOUR AND THIRTY YEARS MAY PASS TH OUGH F OUR A ND TH IRTY Y EARS M AY P ASS LILY LI LY DEEDLE DE EDLE DEEDLE DEEDLE DEEDLE… DEEDLE…

The look at at the the music. music. The music music stops stops abruptly. abruptly. The The GARDEN GARDEN GLEES GLEES look VIOLET VIOLET Where’s Where’s the the rest rest of of it? it? DAISY DAISY I only only had had homeroom homeroom to to work work this this up. up. Let’s Let’s meet meet later later and and I’ll I’ll have have the the rest. rest. ROSE ROSE It’s It’s a good good start, start, Daisy! D a is y !


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DAISY DAISY I’l lay with with it it and I’lll pplay and get get you you parts! parts! VIOLET VIOLET It ’s gonna gonna sound sound terrific, It’s terrific, Daisy! Daisy! ROSE ROSE Let’s Let’s meet meet back back here here after after next next period period and and run run it it again! a g a in ! LILY LILY I’ll I’ll practice practice my my deedles! d e e d le s ! singing to to themselves. th e m s e lv e s . THEY ALL THE TH EY A LL aagree gree aass they they head head off off in in different different directions directions singing SC ENE SI X: D R. B LOOM'S E N G L IS H C LASS SCENE SIX: DR. BLOOM'S ENGLISH CLASS test that that nters aand nd takes takes their their seats. seats. DR. CLASS CLASS eenters DR. BLOOM BLOOM is hholding old ldin ing a ssingle ingle ppage age pop pop test begins passing passing out dur ing the the following. SHE during SHE begins following. BLO OM BLOOM Gr eetings, ladies ladies and is Dr. Dr. Bloom Bloom and and I'm I'm you're you're new new English English teacher. teacher. This T h is and gentlemen. gentlemen. My My name name is Greetings, be ing ""Wonderland Wonderland High," activity, II've 've pprepared repared a pop-quiz pop-quiz on the the High," as as a sort sort of get-acquainted get-acquainted activity, being Le wis Carroll Carroll books. books. I'm with them. th e m . I'm sure sure you're you're all all familiar familiar with Lewis AL ICE ALICE her eyes) eyes) (rolling (rolling her You mean, "Alice In In Wonderland?" W o n d e r la n d ? " You m ean, like like "Alice BLO OM BLOOM (pleasantly s u r p r is e d ) (pleasantly surprised) That's That's correct, correct, Miss... M is s ... (SHE (SH SHE E rrefers efers to a sseating eating chart) chart) Li ddell? A quiz quiz on "Alice "Alice In In Wonderland." Wonderland." Liddell? PARKER PARKER (w hispered, to to ALLISON ALLISON aass BLOOM BLOOM hhands ands aaround round qquizzes) u iz z e s ) (whispered, is "Wonderland?" " W o n d e r la n d ? " Your Yo ur llast ast nname ame is PR ESTO N PRESTON build the the school? s c h o o l? like, grandfather grandfather build Wow! Wo w! Did Did yyour, our, like, ALLISON AL L IS O N Wh What at are are you you two two talking talking about? a b o u t? PA PARKER RKER Sh Shee ssaid, aid, ""Allison Allison Wonderland..." Wonderland..."


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PAUL PAUL Ha! Ha! ALLISON ALLISON Morons. Morons. ALICIA ALICIA Yeah, Yeah, you you morons! morons! Not Not "AlliSON "AlliSON W onderland." onderland," "Alice "Alice IN W Wonderland," Wonderland." PA UL PAUL Oh, bout Alice! Alice! Oh, it’s it’s aabout BLO OM BLOOM now. You may urn your your qquizzes uizzes over... over... now. You m ay tturn The ALICE writing The SSTUDENTS TUD TU DENTS tturn urn them them oover. ver. A LIC LI CE is SHE sseems eems to to kknow now what is w riting quickly quickly - SHE what SHE at SHE is doing. ddo oing. ARTHUR ARTHUR is also also writing writing quickly quickly - almost almost a race race with with ALICE. ALICE. HE HE smiles smiles at her frowns. HE her - SSHE SH HE fr ow ns. H E ggoes oes bback ack to his his qquiz. uiz. ALL ALL bbut ut ALICE ALICE and and ARTHUR ARTHUR are are totally totally flustered thee over th flustered and and cconfused. onfused. Feedback Feedback is heard Fe heard followed followed by by PRINCIPAL PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE CH C HESHIRE over PA System. S y s te m . PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE PRINCIPAL C H E S H IR E Speak Speak English! English! I don’t don’t know know the the meaning meaning of of half half those those long long words, words, and and what’s what’s more, more, I don’t d o n ’t believe believe you do either! either! Dr. Dr. Bloom, Bloom, please please come come to to my my office offfice immediately! of immediately! There There iiss aanother nother loud loud screech screech of of ffeedback, eedback, then then the the sound sound of something something being being strangled strangled before beffore there be there is is silence. silence. BLOOM BLO OM Alll rright Al ight everyone. everyone. I'll I'll be be right right back. back. Remember, Remember, you're you're on on the the honor honor system, system, and and there there is is no no honor iinn ccheating. heating. STUDENTS ST UDENTS Yess Dr. Ye Dr. Bloom. B lo o m . BLOOM Exits just ttries ries to to mind mind BL OOM Ex its and and the the cclass erupts in in a cheating cheating explosion. explosion. ARTHUR ARTHUR just lass erupts hiss ow own isgusted. hi n business, business, bbut ut hhee is disgusted. ddis PAUL PAUL Who Who the the heck heck is is Lewis Lewis Carroll? C a rro ll? ALICIA ALICIA What What kind kind of of teacher teacher gives gives a test test without without coaching coaching you you on on the the answers? a n sw e rs?


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ARTHUR ARTHUR Yo u aall ll ddon’t on’t know know this? You th is ? PAUL PAUL Sh ut uup, p, new new kid. k id . Shut ART HUR ARTHUR (m oving aw ay)) ay (moving away) My bbad. ad. DE E DE E DEE DEE I thought thought ttests ests were were supposed supposed to to be be standardized. standardized. AL L IS O N ALLISON Th ey aare, re, ever ever since b e h in d .” They since “no “no child child left left behind.” PR ESTO N PRESTON Th is ddoesn’t oesn’t seem seem fair. This fa ir. SA NDY SANDY I think think I ggot ot left left behind. b e h in d . AL ICE ALICE Al ight, everyone, everyone, don't what Dr. Dr. B loom said, said, “there “there is no no honor honor in cheating.” cheating.” don't panic. panic. You You heard heard what Alll rright, Bloom Ho wever, tthere’s here’s no know these these answers answers and and I'd I'd be be honored honored to to share sh are either. I know no honor honor iinn failing failing either. However, th em w ith you. you. them with DE E DE E DEE DEE Is n't it it w rong ttoo cheat? c h e a t? Isn't wrong AL ICIA ALICIA No ong aass iitt would would be be iiff I got got an an “F.” “F.” My My parents parents would would kill kill me me and and I’d I’d probably probably be Nott aass wr wrong gr ounded aand nd m iss the the dance dance tomorrow. tomorrow. grounded miss AL L IS O N ALLISON it, it’s it’s not not wrong. wrong. It’s It’s consensus. consensus. If eeveryone veryone ddoes oes it, DE E DE E DEE DEE I don’t don’t know… know … AL ICE ALICE Le Let’s t’s decide decide by by caucus. caucus. SANDY SA NDY Wh What's at's a caucus? caucus?


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ALICE ALICE of policy policy and and leadership. leadership. I say, It's a meeting meeting to to decide decide on on questions questions of say, let's let's get get through through it it the the most m ost It's expedient way way possible. possible. expedient SANDY SANDY Yes! W should be be “speed-ient” “speed-ient” by by all all means! m ean s! Yes! Wee should ALLISON ALLISON We’ll We’ll have have to to work work fast fast before before Bloom Bloom comes comes back. back. MU S IC C UE 007: 7: C HEATING MUSIC CUE CHEATING AL ICE ALICE CH EAT Y OUR F ATE: I’LL I’LL BE BE Y OUR H ERO, CHEAT YOUR FATE: YOUR HERO, I’LL MAKE MAKE S URE Y OU D ON’T GE TZ ERO, I’LL SURE YOU DON’T GET ZERO, NEED TO TO PASS? PASS? I FEEL FEEL Y OUR F EAR, O H, NEED YOUR FEAR, OH, WE C AN FIDDLE FIDDLE JUST JU S T L IKE N ERO! CAN LIKE NERO! I’L L WRITE WRITE DOWN DOWN THE THE ANSWERS ANSWERS I’LL PASS T HE SH EET A ROUND PASS THE SHEET AROUND ASK YOUR QUE STIONS, ASK QUESTIONS, JUST DON’T D O N ’T T AKE A LL DAY! JUST TAKE ALL AL L IS O N ALLISON AL IC E M ADE A M OVING CA SE, W HY ALICE MADE MOVING CASE, WHY SH EC AN H ELP US AL LS AVE FACE FACE B Y SHE CAN HELP ALL SAVE BY CHEATING WE’LL DISGRACE. SHE’LL CHEATING W E’LL AVOID A V O ID D IS G R A C E . S H E ’L L MAKE TEST ALL ACE! MAKE A T EST WE WE A LL CAN CAN AC E! WE’LL W E ’L L QUICKLY CAUCUS QUICKLY MEET MEET AND C AUCUS ARE ARE WE WE ALL ALL AGREED? AGREED? HURRY WHAT HURRY UP! UP! W HAT DOES THE CAUCUS SAY? DOES T HE C AUCUS S AY? The The KIDS KIDS tthink hink a moment. moment. Then Then slowly slowly and and building building make make a unanimous unanimous decision. d e c is io n . BOYS BOYS CHEAT! C HEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! GIRLS GIRLS CHEAT! C HEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT! ALLISON ALLISON We ’re all all in in agreement. agreement. Sandy, Sandy, Dee Dee Dee, Dee, guard guard the the door. d o o r. We’re ALICE ALICE Wh at do do you you want want to to know? know ? What


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PAUL PAUL talking to to a carpenter? carpenter? Well, start start with with question Well, question one. one. I mean, mean, what what the the heck heck is is a walrus walrus doing doing talking PRESTON PRESTON Yeah, and and what what about Yeah, about those those oysters? o y s te r s ? ALICE ALICE T IIS SS A ID THE C ARROLL STORY STORY IIT THE CARROLL SAID “DON’T B E MISLEAD.” MISLEAD.” HERE T O WARN: WARN: “DON’T IS T THERE TO BE TREATISE ON POLICTICAL POLICTICAL CORRUPTION. CORRUPTION. A TREATISE THE WALRUS WALRUS IS IS WELL WELL FED FED AND AND F AT, THE FAT, POLITICIAN, JUST JU S T L IKE THAT, THAT, A POLITICIAN, LIKE FOCUSED O NH IS P ERSONAL C ONSUMPTION. IS FOCUSED ON HIS PERSONAL CONSUMPTION. C O N V IN C E THE CARPENTER’S THE C ARPENTER’S THERE THERE TO CONVINCE LL MAKES MAKES S ENSE THE PUBLIC ALL SENSE THE P UBLIC THAT THAT IT IT A WILL REBUILD REBUILD SOCIETY S O C IE T Y AND THAT THE WALRUS THAT T HE W ALRUS WILL EATEN UP UP THE OYSTERS: PEOPLE THE O YSTERS: P EOPLE EATEN ORRUPT, BY P POLITICIAN’S SO CORRUPT, OLITICIAN’S S OC ASTE… THAT’S THAT’S THE THE PRESUMPTION! PRESUMPTION! THE LAID WASTE… THE IINNOCENT NNOCENT LA ID W the sheet, EVERYO EVERY ONE scrambles scrambles tto o get get the sheet, shouting. shouting. EVERYONE STUDENTS ((VARIOUS VARIOUS SO LO LINES) LINES) STUDENTS SOLO WALRUSES A RE VERY VERY S LEAZY WALRUSES ARE SLEAZY OYSTERS ALWAYS ALWAYS M AKE ME Q UESY OYSTERS MAKE QUESY THANKS TO A LICE, TES TS A RE EA SY THANKS ALICE, TESTS ARE EASY GETTING THROUGH THROUGH T HIS P O E M ’S A B REEZE! W E GETTING THIS POEM’S BREEZE! WE PASS A ROUND T HE A NSWERS PASS AROUND THE ANSWERS IT’S A P ERFECT PLAN PLAN IT’S PERFECT JUST DON’T D O N ’T L ET THE THE C HEAT S HEET HIT HIT THE THE FAN! FA N ! JUST LET CHEAT SHEET PASS T HE SH EET I N EED AN ANS W ER! PASS THE SHEET NEED ANSWER! WAS THE THE CARPENTER CARPENTER A DANCER? DANCER? WAS THINK HE W AS F ROM F RANCE, O R NO, I THINK WAS FROM FRANCE, OR DID THE THE OYSTERS OYSTERS AL L WEAR WEAR PANTS? PANTS? O R DID ALL OR DID MY MY B RAIN S TOP W ORKING? DID BRAIN STOP WORKING? I’M O ON QUESTION THREE! NQ UESTION T HREE! ALICE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO M E? ALICE COULD COULD YOU P LEASE E XPLAIN T O ME? GRAB GRAB T THAT HAT CHEAT CHEAT SHEET! SHEET! NEED NEED T THAT HAT CHEET CHEET SHEET… SHEET…


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Here comes comes Doctor Doctor Bloom! B lo o m ! Here scrambles back back to to his his or or her her seat. seat. At the the last last moment, Everyone scrambles moment, ALLISON ALLISON drops drops the th e Everyone cheat sheet sheet on on the the floor fflloor by by ALICE. A L IC E . cheat ALL ALL NOW! NOW! as the the number Dr. BLOOM BLOOM w alk lkss in as number ends. en ds. Dr. walks BLOOM BLOOM Sorry everyone. ev ery o n e. Y our principal principal was was conducting conducting an an investigation investigation into into whether whether or or not not “uglification” “ u g lif ic a tio n ” Sorry Your eal word word and and wanted wanted me me to… to… is a rreal (SH (S HE sees sees the the sscrap crap ooff paper paper uunder nder Alice's Alice's desk.) d e s k .) (SHE th is ? What What is is this? (SHE cheat sheet sheet and (SH (S HE picks picks up up the the cheat and reads reads it.) it.) The oysters oysters represent represent the th e The and the the Carpenter Carpenter represent represent the The Walrus Walrus and the church church and and the the government. government. The common common people. people. ... ... This This is is a cheat cheat sheet! sheet! (to (to A ALICE) LIC ICE E) ours, Miss Miss Liddell? L id d e ll? Is tthis his yyours, ALICE is is ddumbstruck. umbstruck. She She iiss about about to to answer answer “yes,” “yes,” when when the the LIGHTS LIGHTS ch ange aand nd focus focus ALICE change RTHUR. Scene Scene freezes ARTHUR speaks speak akss to to the the audience. audience. on A ARTHUR. freezes as ARTHUR ARTHUR ARTHUR heat for for a lying, lying, cheating cheating girl girl is is a bad bad idea. idea. But But she she is is pretty p r e tty Now may No w yyou ou m ay aargue rgue that that taking taking the the heat name, and and my my first first day already off off to a bad bad start, start, so so cute, cu te, even even if if she she can’t can’t remember remember my my name, day was was already what wh at the the hey… hey… (LIGHTS (L IGHTS cchange hange bback, ack, scene scene unfreezes unfreezes as as HE HE speaks speaks up) up) No… No … iit’s t’s mine! m in e ! The The whole whole class class rreacts. e a c ts . BLOOM BLOOM (not believing believing him) h im ) (not his ttrue rue Arthur? Is tthis Arthur? ARTHUR ARTHUR Yes, iitt is. is . Yes, BLOOM BLOOM (to (to Alice) A lic e ) Is iitt Alice? A lic e ?


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Th whole class Thee whole class erupts erupt uptss in in an explosion explosion of "Yes, "Yes, he did did it" it" and "I "I told told him him not to" to" etc. e tc . BLOOM BLOOM In tthat hat case, case, Arthur, Arthur, see class. Now, Now, for see me me after after class. for your your next next project, pro rojject, you'll you'll be be working working in in teams teams of of tw o. P lease hhave ave your two. Please your project project partners partners picked picked by by sixth sixth period. period. (A LL hands hands shoot sure the air, air, except except for (ALL shoot uupp in the for ARTHUR's. ARTHUR's. SHE SSH HE is taken taken aback, aback, not not sure call on.) on.) whom to call whom Mr. G r if f o n ? Mr. Griffon? PARKER PARKER Mister, D octor Bloom, Bloom, sir, sir, ma’am… m a’am … Mister, Doctor (OTHERS ssnicker) n ic k e r ) (OTHERS That’s this this afternoon… afternoon… and and well, well, it’s it’s the the afternoon afternoon before... b e f o r e ... That’s overcome with with reverence reverence and and awe. awe. PARKER is overcome PARKER BLOOM BLOOM The afternoon afternoon before...? b e f o r e ...? The PRESTON PRESTON The aafternoon fternoon before... b e f o r e ... The who sseems eems about about to wet wet himself himself PRES TON, to o, is overcome. overcome. BLOOM BLOOM looks looks aatt PAUL PAUL who PRESTON, too, wi th emotion. emotion. ALLISON in . ALLISON steps steps in. with AL L IS O N ALLISON It 's tthe he G olden Afternoon. Afternoon. It's Golden Th OYS ssigh igh with with anticipation. a n tic ip a tio n . Thee B BOYS BL OOM BLOOM The G olden Afternoon? A fte rn o o n ? The Golden AL ICE ALICE the Lobster Lobster Bowl. B o w l. The afternoon afternoon before before the The ALLISON ALLISON before the the Lobster Lobster Bowl. Bowl. It's It's part part of of the the Wonderland W o n d e r la n d suspended the the afternoon afternoon before Alll cclasses Al lasses aare re suspended Code. Co de. BLO OM BLOOM The... Th e ... ? ALLISON AL L IS O N It It's 's all all there there in in black black and and blue. blue. The The boys boys have have to practice the match... match... to pr actice for for the


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ALICIA ALICIA any longer) (who can't can't contain contain herself herself any lo n g e r ) (who The Quadrille Quadrille team team has has to to decorate decorate the the cafetorium cafetorium for for the the Victory Victory Dance! D ance! The ALLISON ALLISON with pride) p r id e ) (pufffiing her her chest chest up up with (puffing And everyone everyone else else has has to to show show their their school school spirit! s p ir it! And DEE DEE DEE DEE (looking at at ALLISON) A L L IS O N ) (looking hat what what you you call call it? it? Is tthat SANDY SANDY (sticking out out her her chest) c h e s t) (sticking Let's keep keep our our spirits spirits up! up! Let's ALICE ALICE ote for for Lobster And Lobster King King and and Queen. Queen. And we vvote BLOOM BLOOM Well. that that's the the case, case, I suggest suggest that that you you still still try try and and choose choose your your partners partners today today - ssoo th at you you Well. If If that's have time to to consider consider the the project project this this weekend... weekend... have some some time (the (the bell bell rings, rings, to to everyone's everyone's relief relief and and ALL ALL exit, exit, dropping dropping their their test test papers papers on on HER HER desk) desk) Arthur? Arthur? (ALIC ICE E stops stops tto o look look back back at at ARTHUR ARTHUR before before leaving, leaving, then then walks walks out. out. ARTHUR ARTHUR sits sits at at (ALICE his desk. desk. BLOOM BLOOM ccomes omes over, over, hholding olding the the cheat cheat sheet.) sheet.) his you have have to to say say for for yourself? What What do do you y o u rs e lf? ARTHUR ARTHUR I'm I'm ssorry. orry. BLOOM BLOOM Are Are you you going going to to tell tell me me whose whose cheat cheat sheet sheet this this is? is ? ARTHUR ARTHUR I can’t. can’t. BLOOM BLOOM Arthur, don’t know know who who yyou’re ou’re protecting protecting or not the the way way to to start start out out in in a new new or why, why, but but this this is is not Arthur, I don’t school. school. ARTHUR ARTHUR I know. know . BLOOM BLOOM Remember, Remember, you’re you’re starting starting fresh fresh here. here. You You can can be be whoever whoever you you want want to to be. be. Choose Choose your your friends frie n d s carefully. caref efuully.


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BLOOM BLOOM eexits. xits. ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR moves moves into into the the next next scene. scene. MUSIC CUE ALONE MUSIC C UE 007a: 7a: ARTHUR ARTHUR A LONE SCENE THE HALLWAY SCENE 77:: T HE H ALLW AY walks past ALICE AL ICE is is waiting waiting for for ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR in in the the hall. hall. ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR walks past ALICE ALICE and and ALICE ALICE walks w a lk s quickly qui ckly to to keep keep up. AL ICE ALICE Wh did you you do do that? th a t? Whyy did ARTHUR ART HUR what? Do wh a t? ALICE ALICE Take haven't exactly exactly been been very he heat heat for for me very nice nice to to you. you. Ta ke tthe me in in there there ... ... I mean, mean, I haven't ARTHUR ARTHUR she has has idiots idiots for for friends. friends. I guess guess I hhate ate ttoo ssee ee ssomeone omeone as as smart smart as as you get get punished punished because because she ALICE AL ICE You Yo u rreally eally think think that that I'm I'm smart. s m a r t. ARTHUR ART HUR (stopping (stopping suddenly) s u d d e n ly ) ourse. Hasn't Hasn't anyone anyone ever ever told told you Of ccourse. you that that before? b e fo re ? AL ICE ALICE People usually usually just just say say I'm I'm pretty. p r e tty . People ARTHUR ART HUR Well... Well... you you aare. re. But But you're you're smart smart too. too. ALICE ALICE (attracted) (attracted) Oh... Oh... thanks. th a n k s . ARTHUR ARTHUR (returning (returning her her stare) s ta r e ) Sure. Sure. (THEY (TH (T HEY sstare tare iinto nto each each others others eyes eyes for for a beat.) b e a t.) Well... Well... uh uh ... ... I gotta gotta go. go. ALICE ALICE Yeah, Yeah, me me too. to o .


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ARTHUR ARTHUR minutes and and thirteen thirteen seconds seconds to to get get to to next next period. period. Only three three minutes Only ALICE ALICE better hurry. h u rry . Right... better Right... (Starts tto o go, go, then then turns turns back) back) (Starts Hey wa it! Hey wait! ALLISON back. ALLISON hhas as eentered, ntered, sees sees this this and and hangs hangs back. ARTHUR ARTHUR (Hopeful) (Hoopeful) (H Yeah? Yeah? ALICE ALICE I... wondering ondering iiff you you wanted wanted to to be be my my partner partner for for the the English English project? pro rojject? I... was w as w ALLISON ALICE ALLISON ggasps asps lloudly. oudl dlyy. A LICE and ARTHUR ARTHUR turn turn to to see see where where the the noise noise came came from from but ALLISON HIS ALLISON hhas as tthrown hrown SSTAN TAN aaway way ffrom rom H IS llocker. ocker. ALLISON ALLISON ddives ives into into the the locker. lo c k e r . ALICE ALICE and and ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR shrug ff the the confusing confusing disturbance, disturbance, never never noticing noticing ALLISON. ALLISON. shrug ooff ARTHUR ARTHUR Okay... doctrine that that says says you you can't Okay... But But isn't isn't there there some some Drill Drill Team Team doctrine can't speak speak to to me, me, or or something? s o m e th in g ? ALICE ALICE Look, and what what isn't. is n 't. Look, I am am the the Queen. Queen. And And the the Queen Queen gets gets to to decide decide what what is is acceptable acceptable and ARTHUR ARTHUR "We "We are are the the makers makers of of manners" manners" ALICE ALICE (smugly) (smugly) Henry Henry V. ARTHUR ARTHUR (pleasantly (pleasantly surprised) s u r p r is e d ) That's ight! See, See, we we were were meant meant to to be together— together— That's rright! (HE (HE ppunches unches ALICE ALIC ICE E playfully playfully in in the the arm) arm ) For project I mean! For this this project m ean!

ALICE ALICE (punching (punching ARTHUR ARTHUR back, back, a little little harder) h a rder) Right. Right. For For this this project. p ro je c t.


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(ALICE) (ALICE) (THEY ut hhold old them out a pen pen (TH (T HEY sshake hake hhands ands bbut them a llittle ittle too too long. long. The The bell bell rings. rings. SHE SHE takes SH takes out and writes which writes on ARTHUR's ARTHUR's hand, w hich she she is is still still holding) holding) This This is is my my number. number. Call Call me me tonight tonight and and we'll we'll get get started. s ta rte d . ARTHUR ARTHUR (fllustered) (f (flustered) Great! Great! are interrupted interrupted Neither wants wants to to leave. leave. THEY THEY start start to to lean lean in in slightly slightly for for a kiss kiss when when they they are Neither ARRY who TH EM . by H HARRY who rrides ides up on his his scooter, scooter, stopping stopping between between THEM. HARRY HARRY Hey Arthur! What's Hey Ar th u r ! W hat's going going on? on? ARTHUR & AL ICE ARTHUR ALICE Nothing! Nothing! HARRY HARRY Don’t you hhave ave lunch lunch this this period? p e r io d ? Don’t you ARTHUR ARTHUR Yes. Yes. HARRY HARRY you in in the the cafetorium... cafetorium... you'll I'll I'll meet meet you you'll need need my my help. h e lp . ARTHUR ARTHUR I think think I know know how how to eat. eat. HARRY HARRY It's nnot ot tthe he "how"... "how"... iit's t's tthe he "where"... "where"... I' ll see see you you in in th een Quadrant, Quadrant, near near table table seventeen. s e v e n te e n . It's I'll thee Gr Green HA RRY eexits. x its . HARRY MUSIC MUSIC C CUE UE 007b: 7b: S SHAKESPEARE HAKESPEARE T TRIUMPHANT RIUMPHANT ALICE AL ICE et going. going. Paul Paul will will be be waiting. w a itin g . I should should gget ARTHUR ART HUR Yeah, understand... Ye ah, I understand... ALICE AL ICE Wish Wi sh I ccould... o u ld ...


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It's ookay. kay. I'll I'll call call you. you. It's smiles and and exits. exits. ARTHUR at the the number number written ALICE smiles ARTH ART HUR looks looks at written on on his his hand hand and and sings. s in g s . ALICE ARTHUR ARTHUR DID SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE E VER F EEL… DID EVER FEEL… FEEL LIKE LIKE ME?! M E ?! FEEL ARTHUR peeks out locker door. ARTH ART HUR exits. exits. ALLISON ALLISON peeks out from from behind behind the the locker door. ALLISON ALLISON Project want you! you! Wait Wait till till Paul Paul Project partners, partners, eh?! eh?! Little Little Alice Alice Liddell, Liddell, I've I've got got you you right right where where I want hears hears aabout bout this! this! (SHE (SH (S HE laughs laughs hysterically. hysterically. SHE SHE slams slams the the locker locker door, door, which which bounces bounces back back and and hits hits HER HER in th thee hhead, ead, which which stops sto topps her her laughter, laughter, SHE SHE exits.) SH exits.) MU S IC C UE 007c: 7c: SHAKESPEARE SHAKESPEARE P MUSIC CUE PLAYOFF L A Y O FF Th GARDEN GLEES GLE LEE ES gather gather downstage. d o w n s ta g e . Thee GARDEN VI OLET VIOLET o yyou ou have have charts charts ffor or us? So, us? So, Daisy, Daisy, ddo DAISY DAI SY got distracted. Almost. distracted. I had had to to hhelp elp a ffreshman locker. But h e re . Almost. I got frreshman out out of of a locker. But most most of of it is here. RO SE ROSE Let’s give give it it whirl, whirl, gals. g a ls . Let’s DAI SY DAISY (a he hhands ands oout ut tthe he parts) p a r ts ) (ass sshe think you’ll you’ll like like it. it. Vi, Vi, can can you you give give us us an an “E.” “ E .” I think VI VIO OLET bblows lows aan n “E” “E” oonn tthe he pitch pitch pipe. p ip e . VIOLET MUSIC CUE THE ODE DE O OF FW WONDERLAND ONDERLAND – G GARDEN ARDEN G GLEES LEES ##2 2 MU S IC C UE 007d: 7d: T HE O GA GARDEN RDEN GL GLEES EES WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! ONDERLAND! O, W ONDERLAND! O, W THOUGH FOUR AND ND TH THIRTY IRTY Y YEARS EARS M MAY AY P PASS ASS TH OUGH F OUR A FROM SEA TO SEA AO OR RS SAND AND T TO OS SAND AND FR OM SE AT O SE FROM STONE TO STONE GRASS TO GRASS FR OM ST ONE T O ST ONE AND GR ASS T O GR ASS THE ODE OF OLD REVEALS THE POWER TH EO DE O FO LD R EVEALS TH EP OWER WHEN THE GOLDEN HORN WH EN T HE G OLDEN H ORN IS IS BLOWN BLOW N The The girls girls have have reached reached the the end end of of their their music, music, but but still still squeal squeal with with glee glee when when they they finish. ffiinish.


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VIOLET VIOLET This Sorry This is is fun! fun! S orry I ever ever doubted doubted you! you! LILY LILY B u t… It is is fun. fun. But… DAI SY DAISY But, But, what? w h a t? LI LY LILY “golden horn?” horn?” this song. song. What’s What’s the the “golden I’ve I’ve nnever ever understood understood this RO SE ROSE I think think it’s it’s funny. fu n n y . LI LY LILY It is… is… like like baloney baloney in in your your shoe. shoe. VI OLET VIOLET Ma ybe it it just just says says what what it it means. m eans. Maybe LI LY LILY We ll, it certainly certainly doesn’t doesn’t mean mean what what it says. sa y s. Well, ROSE ROSE Well, as as long long as as you you like like what what you you sing… s in g … Well, ROSE, DAISY DAISY AND V ROSE, VIOLET IOLET and DON’T DON’T sing s in g w hat you you like! lik e ! … and what The GARDEN GARDEN GLEES GLE LEE ES all all laugh laugh as as they they start start to to exit exit in in different different directions, directions, DAISY D A IS Y The sh outing as goes: as SSHE HE goes: shouting DAISY DAISY Don’t w orry! II’ll he time time we Promise! ’ll ha ve iitt finished finished by tthe we break break this this afternoon! afternoon! Promise! Don’t worry! have SCENE OUTSIDE THE SCENE EIGHT: E IG H T : O UTSIDE T HE CAFETORIUM C A F E T O R IU M There Th ere is are is a brief brief meeting meeting outside outside of of the the Cafetorium. Cafetorium. ALICIA, ALI LIC CIA, DEE DEE DEE DEE and and SANDY SA AN NDY are giving gi ving a pep DORA and APRIL pep talk talk to to MATT, MATT, DORA APRIL MAY, MAY, three three Junior Junior Class Class members. m em bers. ALICIA AL ICIA Dora, unior Qu Quadrille adrille member, member, you, Adder and and April April May, May, must m ust Dora, wake wake up! up! As a JJunior you, along along with with Matt Matt Adder be on gua guard nyone trying trying to to step step out of the chain and and advance advance in in the the ranks. ranks. rd for for aanyone the food food chain


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SANDY SANDY It's up up tto o you you to to maintain maintain rule rule and and defeat defeat their their efforts. efforts. It's ALICIA ALICIA ou tthink hink you you can can handle handle it? it? Do yyou DORA DORA (yawning) (yawning) We'll try. try . We'll ALICIA ALICIA Dora, mousy mousy is is nnot ot the the way way to to be. be. We We need need to to know know we can can entrust entrust you you with with this this task. task. Matt M a tt Dora, Adder? Adder? MATT MATT It'll be be a tea tea party. party. It'll DEE DEE DEE DEE April M ay, march march in in there there and and take take charge! charge! April May, APRIL APRIL MAY MAY Right, Right, left left to to us. us. March. M a rc h . PAUL, PAUL PAU L, PRESTON PRESTON aand nd PARKER PARKER walk walk on on rolling rolling a trash trash can. can. They They stop stop rolling rolling it it and and STA ST AN A N falls falls out. out. STAN PAUL PAUL Come on on girls, girls, lunch. lu n c h . Come The C ROQUET PLAYERS PLAYE YER RS and and QUADRILLES QUADRILLES eexit. xit. Feedback Feedback is is heard heard followed followed by The CROQUET by PRINCIPAL PRIN PRI NCIPAL CHESHIRE CHESHI HIR RE over over the the PA PA System System as as the the scene scene shifts shifts to to inside inside the the cafetorium. cafetorium. PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE PR INCIPAL C H E S H IR E All All right, right, students, students, have have a stupendous stupendous lunch lunch break. break. Seniors, Seniors, if if you're you're going going off off campus, campus, take ta k e a compass. Underclassmen thee ccafetorium. co mpass. U nderclassmen and and underprivileged underprivileged please please make make your your way way to to th afetorium. Please, Please, let's le t's kkeep the shenanigans shenanigans to a minimum minimum today. today. eep the ARTHUR ART ARTH HUR walks walks onstage sees STAN. STAN AN.. onstage and and sees ARTHUR ARTHUR Hey is ? quadrant, table table seventeen seventeen is? Hey Stan, Stan, can can you you tell tell me me where where green green quadrant, STAN STAN Um... Um... no, no, I'm I'm sorry sorry I can't. c a n 't . ARTHUR ARTHUR You You don't don't know know eeither ither huh? huh?


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STAN STAN No, I kknow now wh No, where ere iitt is, is, I'm I'm just just not not allowed allowed to... to ... MATT MATT What's What's this? this? April April May? M ay? APRIL MAY MAY APRIL (to (to STAN) STA ST AN A N) March! March! STAN STA ST AN A N runs runs of offf stage. stage. DORA DORA What What were were you you asking asking that that freshman? fre sh m a n ? ARTHUR ARTHUR asked him him if if he he knew knew where where the the green green quadrant quadrant was? w as? I asked APRIL MAY MAY APRIL What, you don't don't know your place? place? Did Did you hear hear that? that? What, DORA DORA doesn't know know his his place. p la c e . He doesn't MATT MATT Tell him him where where to to march. m a rc h . Tell ARTHUR ARTHUR I'm m eeting my my friend Harry. friend Harry. I'm meeting MATT MATT Very iinteresting. nteresting. Who's Who's Harry? Harry? Very ARTHUR ARTHUR ith aatt the the bookstore... bookstore... you you got think he's he's sitting sitting with w ith got Votie-Slip Votie-Slip packs packs from from him. him. I think The with The gguy uy I was w as w Katt. Katt. DORA DORA twinkle little little bat, bat, how how I wonder wonder where where Katt's Katt's at? a t? Well, Well, twinkle twinkle twinkle ARTHUR ARTHUR I think think she's she's aatt table table seventeen seventeen in in the the green green quadrant. quadrant. DORA DORA (falling (faalling asleep) (f a s le e p ) Is tthat hat quadrant quadrant one, one, two, two, three, three, four four or or five… f iv e … ?


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ARTHUR ARTHUR There are are five five quadrants? q u a d ra n ts ? There MATT MATT No, there there are are not not five five quadrants. quadrants. There There are are many many more more than than five. f iv e . No, MU MUSIC S IC C CUE UE 008 8–T THE HE CAFETORIUM C A F E T O R IU M P PARTY A R TY ARTHUR ART HUR Th ere are? There are? MA MATT TT Ye s, Yes, TH THERE ERE ARE ARE COLOR COLOR CODED CODED QUADRANGLES QUADRANGLES ALL QUARTERED OFF QUADRANTS AL L QUAR TERED OF F IIN NQ UADRANTS AND E ACH QUADR EACH QUADRANT HAS COLOR LABEL ANT HA S A DIFFERENT DIFFERENT C OLOR L ABEL

APRIL MAY APRIL M AY ONC EW E’VE SET SET A QUADRANTS ONCE WE’VE COLOR CODE QUADRANTS C OLOR C ODE AND QUAR ANTINED T QUARANTINED THE QUADRANTS HE QUADR ANTS THEN EA CH PERSON PERSON IIS THEN EACH CERTAIN TABLE S ASSIGNED ASSIGNED A C ERTAIN T ABLE An ALARM ALARM rings. r in g s . APRIL MAY AP RIL M AY We’re We ’re wasting wasting time. tim e . DORA DO RA (yawning) (y a w n in g ) Time, Ti me, time, time, time. tim e . MATT MA TT We nneed eed a timekeeper! tim e k e e p e r! AP RIL M AY APRIL MAY (to (to A ARTHUR) RTH UR) You! Yo u! ART HUR ARTHUR Me?? Me MATT MATT Yes. You will Ye s. Yo u wi ll be be the the timekeeper. tim e k e e p e r .


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ARTHUR ARTHUR Time Time keeper? k e e p e r? MATT ARTHUR MATT hands hands A RTHUR a stopwatch. s to p w a tc h . APRIL APRIL MAY MAY Since you may may keep keep time. tim e . Since you you aare re new, new, you MATT MATT I wish arger watch, watch, but but this this is is a small small time time operation. operation. wish I hhad ad a llarger APRIL MAY APRIL M AY Remember, Remember, you you may may cut cut time, time, mark mark time time and and keep keep time, time, but but you you must must never never beat beat time. tim e . MATT MATT He won’t won’t sstand tand for b e a tin g . for beating. DORA DORA Stop... Stop... ttime. im e . MATT MATT Yes, the fate fate of Yes, ttoday oday you you will will stop stop time! time! Remember, Remember, the of lunch lunch is is in in your your hands. hands. ARTHUR ARTHUR The The ““Fate Fate of of Lunch?!” Lunch?!” MATT MATT that watch watch “The “The Fate Fate of of Lunch.” Lunch.” Time Yes, Time to to play play “Menu “Menu of Yes, II’ve ’ve named named that of the the Day!” Day!” APRIL MAY APRIL MAY (shouting) (shouting) Menu Menu ooff tthe he Day! D ay! ARTHUR ARTHUR Menu Day? How How ddoo you you pplay? la y ? Menu of of tthe he Day? MATT MATT Oh, Oh, it’s it’s vvery ery simple! simple! Dora! Dora! APRIL MAY APRIL MAY Dora! Dora! Dora! Dora! Do ra! Do ra ! DORA DO RA LI STEN TO THESE THESE SIMPLE SIMPLE RULES RULES LISTEN falls asleep asleep and DORA DORA falls and snores snores loudly. lo u d ly .

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What? What? APRIL MAY MAY APRIL game and and win win a tray. tray. Then Then you you can can eenter nter and and eat! e a t! Win Win the the game ARTHUR ARTHUR What? What? MATT MATT You’ll You’ll see. see. Watch. W a tc h . ARTHUR ARTHUR (duubious) (dubious) (d Okay. Okay. MATT MATT No, start start the No, the watch! watch! Tempo Tempo Presto! P r e s to ! (music (music begins begins llike ike a fast fast ticking ticking clock) c lo c k ) WE'VE TARTS WE'VE APPLE APPLE T ARTS AND AND TARTEN TARTEN TARTS TARTS AND SCRAPPLE TARTS WITH HEART PARTS SCRAPPLE T ARTS W ITH H EART 'N 'N P ARTS AND CHERRY TARTS, CANARY TARTS, CHERRY T ARTS, C ANARY T ARTS, STRAWBERRY STRAWBERRY TARTS TARTS QUINCE! AND QUI NCE! THERE'S MUTTON AND TARTS, ARTS, TARTS A ND BUTTON BUTTON T TH ERE'S M UTTON TARTS YUMMY TARTS, CRUMBY TARTS RUM BY T ARTS AND YUM MY T ARTS, AND C SWOLLEN TARTS STOLEN TARTS ALSO? LSO? ARTS AND AND S TOLEN T ARTS AND A AND S WOLLEN T STUDENT STUDENT ##2 2 MINCE? MI NCE? MATT MA TT THAT CORRECT! TH AT IIS SC ORRECT! A cheer cheer goes goes up up from from the the other other STUDENTS. STUDEN ENT TS.


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STUDENTS STUDENTS OH F FRABJOUS CALLOU! CALLAY! RABJOUS DAY! C ALLOU! C ALLAY! YOU W WON! WON! WON! ON! ON! YOU W ON! YOU W OH F FRABJOUS CALLOU! RABJOUS DAY! C ALLOU! CALLAY! CALLAY! YOU… MATT MATT US WHAT WHAT SHE’S SHE’S W ON! TELL US WON! DORA DORA TAKE A TR AY, A SEAT, SEAT, A ND E AT! TAKE TRAY, AND EAT! and enters e n te r s DORA falls asleep asleep and The WINNING WINNING STUDENT STUDE UDEN NT takes takes a tray tray and DORA falls and snores snores loudly. loudly. The the the Cafetorium. Cafetorium. Caf MA TT MATT tim e ? What What was was the the time? ART HUR ARTHUR 15 seconds? seconds? MA TT: MATT: te n ! Let’s Let’s try try for for ten! AP RIL M AY APRIL MAY Try For Try ffor or five! five! Try For five! fiv e ! Try MA TT MATT Un heard oof! f! M Unheard My PB yP B is is sseven! even! DO RA DORA (w aking to to explain explain “PB”) “PB”) (waking Pe rsonal Best. B e s t. Personal MA TT MATT Five? Five? I can’t can’t imagine! im a g in e ! AP RIL M AY APRIL MAY Oh yyou must! ou m u s t! MA TT MATT (secretly (s ecretly delighted) d e lig h te d ) We Well, ll, if if I must! m u s t! (C (Crowd row d “ “oohs”) oohs” ) Bu Butt yyou ou must must jjoin oin me! m e!


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Why? Are Are you you ccoming oming apart? a p a rt? Why? loudly until MATT and and A PRIL MAY MAY chortle. chortle. STUDENTS STUDENTS llaugh augh loudly until MATT MATT abruptly abruptly cuts cuts them th e m MATT APRIL off and becomes becomes serious. serious. off MATT MATT (takes a deep deep breath) b r e a th ) (takes Go!! Go!! ARTH ART HUR starts starts tthe he stopwatch. stopwatch. MUSIC MUSIC much much faster fa s te r ARTHUR MATT MATT TH ERE’S TURKEY TURKEY S OU P, THERE’S SOUP, AND C HICKEN S OUP CHICKEN SOUP AND JJERKY ERKY S OUP SOUP AND T HICKEN S OUP THICKEN SOUP AND L LENTIL ENTIL S SOUP, OUP, GOOD M ENTAL S OUP MENTAL SOUP AND GE NTLE S OUP AND HOCK! HOCK! GENTLE SOUP TH ERE'S P U PPY S OUP, THERE'S PUPPY SOUP, AND GUP PY S OUP, GUPPY SOUP, AND F LAPPER S OUP FLAPPER SOUP AND S NAPPER S OUP SNAPPER SOUP AND M YRTLE S OUP, MYRTLE SOUP, FA KE T URTLE SOUP SOUP IIS S SADLY… SADLY… ? FAKE TURTLE

APRIL APRIL M MAY AY (softly, (s oftly, watching watching MATT) M ATT) WH WHEN EN Y YOU OU COMPLETE THE MENU CO M PLETE T HE M ENU THEN T HEN YOU AR ARE E NEARLY NEARLY IIN! N! RHYME RH YME FOOD RIGHT FOOD R IG H T TH THERE’S ERE’S NO NO FOOD FOOD F FIGHT IG H T TRAY F OR F OOD M IGHT A TRAY FOR FOOD MIGHT BE W HAT YOU YOU W IN ! WHAT WIN! ST UDENT ##3 3 STUDENT

MOCK? MOCK? MATT MATT That orrect! Th at is ccorrect! A cheer cheer goes goes up up from from the the other other STUDENTS. STUDEN ENT TS. STUDENTS ST UDENTS FRABJOUS CALLOU! CALLAY! ALLOU! C ALLAY! OH F RABJOUS DAY! C WON! WON! WON! ON! YOU W ON! YOU W ON! YOU W FRABJOUS CALLOU! CALLAY! ALLOU! C ALLAY! OH F RABJOUS DAY! C YOU… MATT MA TT WON! TELL US US WHAT WHAT SHE’S SHE’S W ON! DORA DO RA TAKE TRAY, SEAT, AND EAT! TA KE A TR AY, A S EAT, A ND E AT!


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DORA falls and enters enters DORA and snores snores loudly. loudly. The falls asleep asleep and The WINNING WINNING STUDENT STUDENT takes takes a ttray ray and the C the Cafetorium. afetorium. MATT MATT Ti m ek ee p er? Timekeeper? ART HUR ARTHUR econds! 6 sseconds! them. STUDENTS rreacts. eacts. MATT MATT ssilences STUDENTS ilences them. MA TT MATT (c ontrolling HIS H HIIS emotions) emotions) (controlling !" #$%&'(()%*+,*-.%/0,12%!*"((%,%3'4./5,(%6'.*2% !"#$%&'(()%*+,*-.%/0,12%!*"((%,%3'4./5,(%6'.*2% (t urning oon n ARTHUR, ARTHUR, sslowly) lo w ly ) (turning W ell. Now, Now, iit’s t’s your your tturn. u rn . Well. ART HUR ARTHUR My tturn? u rn ? MATT MATT Ye s! Yo ur chance chance to to eat eat lunch. lu n c h . Yes! Your ART HUR ARTHUR Bu t... But... MATT MATT He ads! Heads! ART HUR ARTHUR No … No… MA TT MATT Why! Why! ARTHUR ARTHUR Hey… Hey… MATT MATT Horses! Horses! h im , ART ARTH HUR starts starts tto o talk talk and and MATT MAT ATT T starts starts saying saying tthe along with with him, he same same thing thing along ARTHUR anticipating ant icipating what is ggoing oing ttoo say. what ARTHUR ARTHUR is say. ART ARTHUR HUR I think think you’re you’re nnuts in … uts and and maybe maybe certifiably certifiably in…


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MATT MATT (right with with ARTHUR) ARTH UR) (right nuts aand nd maybe maybe certifiably certifiably insane insane and and belong belong in in a booby booby hatch! hatch! I win. win. Give Give me me the the watch. w a tc h . … nuts it vigorously. vigorously. It starts ARTHUR and (HE ttakes akes the the watch watch from from ARTHUR and shakes shakes it starts uupp slowly, slowly, aalmost lmost (HE in tempo tempo as as HE sings) s in g s ) increases in menacingly. It It gradually gradually increases menacingly. THERE'S H ERBAL TEA, TEA, AND HUMPTY HUMPTY T EA, THERE'S HERBAL TEA, GERBIL T EA AND D UMPTY T EA, AND GERBIL TEA DUMPTY TEA, FLAVORED T EA AND S AVORED T EA AND FLAVORED TEA SAVORED TEA AND WAVERED ORANGE. WAVERED TEA TEA AND OR ANGE. THERE'S TURKISH TEA, THERE'S TU RKISH TEA AND MURKISH MURKISH T EA, AND OOLONG TEA TOO LONG OOLONG T EA AND T OO L ONG TEA, TEA, AND STEEPING TEA SLEEPING STEEPING T EA AND S LEEPING TEA, TEA, BUT BUT NEVER... NEVER... There There iiss a ttense ense moment moment bbefore efore ARTHUR ARTHUR answers. a n sw ers. ARTHUR ARTHUR It’s There is is no no rhyme rhyme for for orange. It’s a trick. trick. There orange. STUDENTS STUDENTS gas gasp. p. MATT MATT (deadly (deeadly serious) (d s e r io u s ) You. Are. You. Ar e. (jubilant) (jubilant) CORRECT! CORRECT! A huge EVERYONE sings. huge cheer cheer ggoes oes uup p as as E VERYONE si ngs. MA TT MATT ERBAL TEA TH THERE'S ERE'S H HERBAL TEA,, PTY T EA, AND HUM HUMPTY TEA, R B IL T EA AND AND GE GERBIL TEA EA, DUM DUMPTY PTY T TEA, LAVORED T EA AND FLAVORED TEA AND F SA SAVORED VORED T TEA EA AVERED T EA IT’S IT ’S AND W WAVERED TEA FUN. FUN. THERE'S TU RKISH TEA THERE'S TURKISH URKISH T EA, AND M MURKISH TEA, ONG T EA AND AND OOL OOLONG TEA TO O LO NG TEA TOO LONG TEA,, AND S TEEPING T EA AN D STEEPING TEA AND SL EEPING T EA, SLEEPING TEA, UST… AND YOU JJUST… DORA DORA ssnores nores loudly. lo u d ly .

APRIL APRIL M MAY AY WH EN Y OU WHEN YOU CO M PLETE T HE M ENU COMPLETE THE MENU

STUDENTS STUDENTS OH FRABJOUS FRABJOUS DAY!

TH EN Y OU THEN YOU

CALLOU! CA LLAY! CALLOU! CALLAY!

AR ARE E NEARLY NEARLY DONE

YOU W WON! ON! YOU W WON! ON! YOU WON! WON! OH FRABJOUS FRABJOUS DAY! C CALLOU! ALLOU!

GUE GUESS SS FO FOOD OD R RIGHT IG H T TH THERE’S ERE’S NO NO FOOD FOO D F FIGHT IG H T AT TRAY RAY F FOR OR F FOOD OOD M MIGHT IGHT ME AN Y OU JJUST UST W ON… MEAN YOU WON… YOU…

CALLAY! CALLAY! YOU…


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ALL ALL WON! WO N! EVERYONE EVERY EVERYO ONE congratulates congratulates ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR as as HARRY HARRY enters. e n te r s . HARRY HA RRY Arthur, what’s Ar thur, wh at’s ggoing oing on? on? ARTHUR ART HUR I'm I' m nnot ot sure. sure. I simply simply asked asked them them where where the the green green quadrant quadrant was. w as. HARRY HA RRY You Yo u aasked sked tthe he Juniors? Juniors? Did Did you ttell ell them them you're you're a Senior? Senior? MATT, APRIL MAY DORA Y and and D ORA ggasp. a sp . MATT, A PRIL MA MATT MA TT He's Senior?! Have more He 's a S enior?! Ha ve some som e m ore cake. cake. ARTHUR ART HUR I've I' ve hhad ad nnothing othing yet, yet, so so I can't can't take take more. more. APRIL MAY AP RIL M AY You mean Yo um ean you you can't can't take take LESS. LESS. MATT MATT It's It's eeasy asy ttoo take take MORE MORE than than nothing. n o th in g . DORA DORA cake? I need coffee cake? need some some caffeine! c a f f e in e ! Is iitt coffee DOR A ssnores. nores. HA RRY cchuckles. huckles. MATT MATT and exit with with DORA. DORA. and A PRIL MAY MAY exit DORA HARRY APRIL HARRY HARRY Follow me, me, Katt's Katt's negotiated negotiated us us some some seats. s e a ts . Follow SCENE N IN E : T HE C AFETORIUM SCENE NINE: THE CAFETORIUM head to to a table table where ARTH ART HUR and and HARRY HARRY head where MARIANNE MARI ARIAN ANN AN NE talking talking to to KATT. KAT ATT T. ARTHUR MARIANNE MARIANNE So, to work work for for you? So, I can can come come to you? KATT KATT Yes, Yes, II'll 'll eeven ven pay pay you. you.

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MARIANNE MARIANNE You won't won't be be ssorry. o rry . You KATT KATT Let's shake. shake. Let's her hhand and out. out. MARIANNE KATT hholds olds her M A R IA ANNE NNE begins begins to to shake shake all all over. over. KATT KATT looks looks at at her her KATT strangely, then then realizes realizes MARIANNE M A R IA AN NNE has has seen seen HARRY. HARRY. strangely, ARTHUR ARTHUR Hi, K att. H i, M arianne. Hi, Katt. Hi, Marianne. (notices MARIANNE) MARIA IAN NNE) (notices he ookay? kay? Is sshe HARRY HARRY (rushing ttoo MARIANNE) MARIA IAN NNE) (rushing Are you you okay?! Are okay?! Should Should I get get out out my my tongue tongue depressor? d e p re sso r? HARRY HARRY grabs grabs MARIANNE M A R IA AN NNE by by the the shoulders. shoulders. SHE SHE stops stops shaking shaking immediately. immediately. There There is is a pause THEY Like THEIR pause as T HEY llook ook iinn eeach ach other's othe ot her's eyes. eyes. L ike ttwo wo magnets, magnets, T HEIR heads heads move move in in remain frozen. towards towards each each other, other, and and their their lips lips meet. meet. They They remain Th frozen. KATT KATT (to ARTHUR) (to A RTH UR) I guess guess sshe he bbrought rought her her oown wn ttongue ongue depressor. depressor. ARTHUR ARTHUR (after (affter a moment) (a m o m e n t) Wow. Wow. HARRY MARIANNE HARRY and and M A R IA AN NNE slowly slowly break break their their kiss. k is s . HARRY HARRY Wow. Wow. MARIANNE MARIANNE Wow. Wow. HARRY HARRY Arthur, Arthur, can can I talk talk to to you? you? MARIANNE MARIANNE Boss, Boss, ccan an I ttalk alk to to you? you?


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MUSIC C MUSIC CUE UE 09: 09: W WHAT HAT D DO O YOU S SAY AY ? HA HARRY RRY (to A RTH UR) (to ARTHUR) WHAT YOU SAY? AY? WH AT DO DO Y OU S AY T OAG IR L ? WHAT DO YOU SAY TO GIRL? WH AT D OY OU S ART HUR ARTHUR AY? WHAT YOU SAY? WH AT DO DO Y OU S HA RRY HARRY WH AT D OY OU S AY T OAG IR L … WHAT DO YOU SAY TO GIRL… WH EN S H E ’S Q U IE T ? WHEN SHE’S QUIET? HA RRY HARRY IR L WH AT D OY OU S AY T OAG WHAT DO YOU SAY TO GIRL WHEN S H E ’S Q U IE T WHEN SHE’S QUIET

ART HUR ARTHUR WH AT D OY OU S AY T OAG IR L WHAT DO YOU SAY TO GIRL WH EN S H E ’S Q U IE T WHEN SHE’S QUIET

HA RRY HARRY R? IKE HE AND YOU L LIKE HER? ET GUY S A QUI HOW DOE DOES QUIET RL? GET A QUIET QUIET GI GET GIRL? MA R IA N N E MARIANNE (t ATT) (too K KATT) AY? WH WHAT AT DO DO Y YOU OU S SAY? AY T OAG UY? WH WHAT AT D DO OY YOU OU S SAY TO GUY? KA TT KATT WH AT DO DO Y OU S AY? WHAT YOU SAY? MA RIANNE MARIANNE WH AT D OY OU S AY T O A GUY GUY WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ERVOUS? WHEN YOU’RE NERVOUS? WH EN Y O U ’R E N KA TT KATT AY T OT HE G UY, WHY DON’T YOU SAY TO THE GUY, WH YD O N ’T Y OU S “HEY, NERVOUS… “H EY, II’M ’M N ERVO US… BUT LIKE BU TIL IKE YOU?” Y O U ?” MA R IA N N E MARIANNE DOES NERVOUS GIRL HOW DOE S A NE RVOUS G IRL BOY? TELL A NERVOUS NERVOUS B OY? ARTHUR ART HUR CAN’T SAY YOU C AN’T JJUST UST S AY IIT! T!


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WWOONNDDEE RR LL AA NN DD HHI IGGH H (ARTHUR) (ARTHUR) IKE YOU!” Y O U !” “I L LIKE AN’T JJUST UST B LURT IIT T OUT! OUT! YOU C CAN’T BLURT KATT KATT SAY, JJUST UST S AY IT I SAY, SAY IT!! IKE YOU!” Y O U !” “I L LIKE IT OUT! OUT! BETTER BETTER TO TO GET GET IT ARTHUR ARTHUR TALK THE TALK ABOUT ABOUT TH E WAY W AY SHE YOU FEEL SHE MAKES M AKES Y OU FE EL KATT KATT TALK THE TALK ABOUT ABOUT TH E FEELFEEL-INGS YOU CONCEAL -INGS Y OU C ONCEAL HARRY HARRY I FEEL FEEL LIKE LIKE I’M GONGONNA L LOSE MY MEAL… OSE M YM EAL… MARIANNE MARIANNE WHAT ORDEAL! WHAT AN AN O RDEAL! ARTHUR ARTHUR GO AND T TELL ELL THAT THAT NERVOUS GIRL! NERVOUS G IRL!

KATT KATT GO AND T TELL ELL THAT THAT QUIET QUIET BOY! BOY!

MUSIC MUSSIC pplays MU lays aand nd stops. stops. HARRY HARRY aand nd MARIANNE MARIA AN NNE both both start start talking talking at at once. once. MA R IA N N E HA HARRY RRY MARIANNE Ca ust say say one…? one…? I just just want want to… to … Marianne, I have have to to say… say… Listen, Listen, Marianne, Cann I jjust THEY THE TH EY sstop top aass m music usic pplays, lays, tthen hen start start up up aagain gain TO TOGETHER GETHE HER R Marianne, I’ve always always wanted… w a n te d … Oh Oh,, iit’s t’s ookay, kay, you you can can go go first… f ir s t… Marianne, I’ve Ag Again, ain, THEY THEY stop. s to p . M Music usic pplays lays aand nd then then THEY THEY start start up up again again TOGETHER TOGET ETH HER Uh, Sorry, Uh, oh, oh, uh… uh… oh oh ggosh… osh… So rry, ooh, h, uummm… mmm… THEY THE TH EY ggiggle iggle and and H HARRY ARRY ssnorts. norts. TH THE THEY EY ggiggle ig g le m more. They ey start start up up slowly slowly again. a g a in . ore. Th WANT TO SAY, IW ANT T OS AY, MARIANNE! OH, M ARIANNE! THERE’S REASONS TH ERE’S MANY MANY R EASONS WHY LIKE WH YIL IKE YOU! YOU! WHAT YOU SAY? WH AT DID D ID Y OU S AY? ‘CAUSE FEEL THE WAY ‘CAUSE I F EEL T HE SAME SAME W AY THAT DO FOR THAT YOU YOU D OF OR ME! ME!

SAY, HARRY, TO S AY, HAR RY, I WANT WANT TO SAY TOO WANT TO TO S AY TO YOU YOU TO O I WANT LIKE REALLY L IKE YOU! YOU! I REALLY WHAT YOU SAY? WH AT DID D ID Y OU S AY? LIKE ME TOO? YOU L IKE M ET OO? WONDERLAND NOW W ONDERLAND IIS S WONDERFUL FOR WO NDERFUL F OR ME!! ME


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HA RRY HARRY DID BLURT THAT HAT OUT? OUT? DID I JJUST UST B LURT T MARIANNE MA R IA N N E SCREAM AND SHOUT! ND S HOUT! I WANT WANT TO TO S CREAM A ARTHUR ART HUR THAT’S HOW QUIET BOY… TH AT’S H OW A Q UIET B OY… KATT KA TT THAT’S HOW NERVOUS GIRL… TH AT’S H OW A N ERVOUS G IR L … ALL FOUR AL LF OUR QUIET THE NERVOUS THOUGHTS QUI ET T HE NE RVOUS T HOUGHTS AND KNOW W WHAT TO SAY! HAT T OS AY! ARTHUR ART HUR Hey, called "The "The Wonderland Wonderland Code?" Code?" He y, hhave ave any any of of you you heard heard of of something something called MARIANNE MA R IA N N E It’s It ’s part part of of the the legend legend of of the the school. s c h o o l. KATT KA TT I think think it’s it’s just just a middle-aged middle-aged wives tale. wives tale. HARRY HA RRY I heard heard the the code code unlocks unlocks a whole whole set set of of underground underground tunnels tunnels and and paths. p a th s . ARTHUR ART HUR Oh,, come Oh come on... o n ... MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Arthur, there Ar thur, iiff Harry Harry ssays ays th ere is a sophisticated sophisticated underground underground labyrinth labyrinth of of unexplored unexplored rooms ro o m s andd warrens, then that's that's what what there there is. is . an warrens, then (HARRY, KATT (HA (H ARRY, ARTHUR ARTHUR and KA ATT llook ook at at HER. HER. Momentarily Momentarily SHE SHE laughs.) la u g h s .) and K Ha!! Gotcha! Ha Gotcha! ARTHUR ART HUR You Yo u know, know, though. though. I'd I'd believe believe it. it. No offense, offense, but but this this school school sseems eems really really a little bit bit off. o ff. KATT KA TT And An d especially especially this this time time of of year. year. Cotillion Cotillion is is crazier crazier than than ever. e v er. (conspiritorily) (c o n s p ir ito r ily ) wee haven't first off o ff - w Cotillion Game Game for, ffo or, what, years or or I mean, mean, first haven't lost lost a Cotillion what, thirty-three thirty-three years something so mething like like that. that. Is Is that that normal? n o rm a l?


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W O NWDOE NRDLEARNL DA N HD I HG IHG H HA RRY HARRY

Must be w ritten in in the the code. code. Must written THE TH EY aall ll laugh. la u g h . THEY KA TT KATT And tthe he way way tthe he Knights Knights aand nd Quadrille Quadrille team team act act like like they they run run the the place. p la c e . And ART HUR ARTHUR seems llike ike they they kinda kinda do. do. It seems HA RRY HARRY Oh o. They They do. do. Oh,, nno. MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Ye ah, tthey hey really really do. do. Yeah, KATT KATT men and and dodo dodo bird bird women women of ll fall fall in in behind behind the the mock mock turtle turtle men of tomorrow. tomorrow. Why Why is is We aall pigs. They’re like like a drove drove of of stupid stupid pigs. th at? They’re that? ARTHUR ARTHUR We ll, they're they're not not all all stupid. s tu p id . Well, KA TT KATT Really? Really? HARRY HARRY one. Na me one. Name ARTHUR ARTHUR (u n c o m fo r ta b le ) (uncomfortable) Well, Well, Alice Alice seems seems pretty pretty smart. s m a rt. KATT KATT Oink. Oi nk. MARIANNE MARIANNE So yyou Alice?! ou llike ik e A lic e ? ! ARTHUR ARTHUR Well, Well, I… I… STAN STA ST AN A N pops up ffrom rom ssomewhere. omewhere. STAN ST AN (too K KATT, (t ATT, ppleading) le a d in g ) I found found aanother nother quarter! quarter! I really really need need a pawn pawn coupon! coupon!


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KATT KATT is closed! c lo s e d ! I’m eeating ating lunch lunch here. here. Bookstore Bookstore is STAN STAN (pleading) (p le a d in g ) Please! Pl ease! MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Katt, take are we if if we don’t don’t ta ke care care of what kind kind of of a company company are of our our own? own? Our Our chain chain of of Ka tt, what humanity weakest link. link. anity is is only only as as strong strong as as our weakest hum HARRY HA RRY (inn aawe (i we and and in in love) lo v e ) Ohhhhh. Oh hhhh. That's That's jjust... ust... Ohhhhh... Ohhhhh... KATT KA TT (rolling (r olling HER HER eyes; eyes; to STAN) STA AN N) It’s It ’s yyour our llucky ucky day, day, I just just lost lost my my appetite. a p p e tite . (too M MARIANNE) (t ARIA IAN NNE) Let’s Le t’s get get back back to to work. work. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Goodbye, Go odbye, Harry. Harry. I hhave ave to to ggoo to to work. work. MARIANNE is pleased pleased as as punch. punch. MA R IA AN NNE kisses kisses HARRY HARRY and and runs runs off. off. HARRY HARRY is HARRY HARRY I adore adore that that woman! w om an! (after (af (a fter a beat) b e a t) Now Now back back ttoo Alice. Alice. I really really think think you you should should avoid avoid her. her. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. T r o u b le . ARTHUR ARTHUR People Pe ople can can change. change. I mean, mean, Alice Alice did did ask ask me me to to be her her project project partner partner in in English. English. HARRY HA RRY Oh,, no! Oh no! That That won't won't go go well. well. ARTHUR ART HUR What Wh at do do you you mean? m ean? HARRY HA RRY Herr partner He partner is is always always Paul. Paul. Everyone Everyone knows, knows, she she does does the the work work and and he he gets gets the the credit. c r e d it. Forr him, Fo out . I hear hear he he secretly secretly calls calls it it a "SNARK" "SNARK" session. session. him, it’s it’s an an excuse excuse to to make make out ARTHUR ART HUR Snark Sn ark ssession? ession?


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HA RRY HARRY “S tudy Nothing Nothing And And Really Really Kiss.” Kiss.” I'd I'd be be careful careful if if I were were you. you. “Study ARTHUR ARTHUR We ll, we'll we'll see. see. Well, HA RRY HARRY An d ssoon. oon. He re sshe he iiss nnow. ow. And Here ART HUR ARTHUR Hu h? B ut lunch lunch is is oover. v e r. Huh? But HA RRY HARRY As Qu adrille Team Team Leader, Leader, it's it's her her job job to to oversee oversee the the Cotillion Cotillion decorations. decorations. She She picked p ic k e d Quadrille th eme this this year year as as well: well: "Hi, "Hi, Wonderland!" Wonderland!" thee th theme ARTHUR ARTHUR h? Hu Huh? HA RRY HARRY (indicating it’s it’s “in “in reverse”) reverse” ) (indicating “Wonderland High.” High.” “Hi, “Hi, wonderland.” wonderland.” Clever, Clever, isn't isn't it. it. “Wonderland ALICE ALICE (walking w ith QUADRILLES QUADRILLES and C ROQUET tteam) eam am)) (walking with CROQUET ... and and oover ver hhere ere will will be be the the arbor arbor with with the the WHITE WHITE paper paper roses roses that that everyone everyone can can pose pose in fr ont of of for for pictures. pictures. And And this this will will be be set set up up like like a miniature miniature croquet croquet court court but but with with cute c u te front little animals animals in the the grass. grass. Maybe Maybe some some flamingos ffllamingos and and hedgehogs… hedgehogs… has rreached eached ARTHUR ART AL ICE has ARTH HUR and and HARRY. HARRY ARRY.. ALICE ARTHUR ARTHUR Hi ic e . Hi,, Al Alice. AL ICE ALICE Hi, Hi, Arthur. Arthur. PA UL PAUL Wh are you you talking talking to to him? h im ? Whyy are AL L IS O N ALLISON you! They're They're going going to to be be Project Sh likes him. him. He He likes likes her. her. I told told you! Project Partners. Partners. Shee likes AL ICE ALICE Al lison, why why wo uld yyou...? ou...? Allison, would


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PA UL PAUL Project Partners! Partners! Project Partners? Pr oject Pa rtners? But But we're we're always always Project ALICE ALICE It's It 's nnot ot llike ike that, that, Paul. P a u l. ALLISON AL L IS O N Oh,, iit's much Oh t's ppretty r e tty m uch like like that that Paul. Paul. She She wrote wrote her her number number on on his his hand. hand. ALL GIRLS This AL LG IRLS gasp. g a sp . T his iiss a sshocking hocking revelation. r e v e la tio n . PAUL PA UL Youu wh what?! Yo a t? ! (HE (HE ggoes oes ttoo ARTHUR) ARTHUR UR)) Lett me me see see your your hand. hand. Le (ARTHUR (ARTHUR hholds olds uup p his his hand. hand. It's It's blank.) b la n k .) it! Allison, Allison, you're you're fooling fooling with I get get it! with me. me. It's It's blank. b la n k . ALLISON AL L IS O N Thee OTHER Th OTHER hand, hand, Paul. P a u l. PAUL PA UL Oh.. Oh (too A ARTHUR) (t RTH UR) The The oother ther hand. hand. (ARTHUR (ARTHUR rrefuses. efuses. PARKER PARKER and and PRESTON PRESTON raise raise ARTHUR's ARTHUR's hand hand and and show show it it to HIM. HIIM. HE H HE reads, reads, haltingly) ly)) haltingly 9-6-6, 9-6-6, 33-3-7, -3-7, 55-2-6-3. -2-6-3. (HE turns on hard and and it it finally (HE tthinks, hinks, hard ffiinally dawns dawns on on him. him. HE HE turns on ALICE) ALIC ICE E) That's. That's. Your. Your. Number. N u m b er. ALICE ALICE Paul, Pa ul, you you don't don't understand. u n d e r s ta n d . ALLISON ALLISON Oh,, he ALL understand, understand, don't don't we girls? g ir ls ? Oh he uunderstands nderstands all all right. right. We We ALL QUADRILLES QUA DRILLES aagree gree uunanimously. n a n im o u s ly . ARTHUR ART HUR Wait! Wa it! It's It's nnot ot like like you you think. think. It's It's not not going going to to be be a “SNARK” “SNARK” session! s e s s io n ! (LIGHTS HIM (L IGH IG HTS cchange hange aand nd ffocus ocus oonn H IM aass sscene cene freezes—HE freezes—HE addresses addresses tthe he audience) audi ence) words were my As soon soon as as the the wo rds we re out out of of m y mouth, mouth, I knew knew I sshouldn’t houldn’t have have said said them. th e m . Suddenly Su ddenly the the whole whole world world seemed seemed to to move move in in slow slow motion. m o tio n .


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W O NWDOE NRDLEARNL DA N HD I HG IHG H Th lights change change back back as as PAUL PAUL turns turns on on ARTHUR ARTHUR as as everything everything happens happens in in Thee lights he punches punches ARTHUR slow motion. motion. Seeing Seeing red, red, and and unable unable to to speak, speak, he ARTHUR in in the the face. fa c e . slow ARTH ART HUR falls. falls. ALICE ALICE reacts reacts and and moves moves to to ARTHUR. ARTH ART HUR. Normal Normal pace pace resumes. resum es. ARTHUR

AL ICE ALICE Paul, w hat are are you you doing? doing? Are Are you you crazy? crazy ? Paul, what AL L IS O N ALLISON need to to get get you you out out of of here! h e re ! Paul, w Paul, wee need HA RRY HARRY Oh! Oh Paul hhit it Ar thur! Now Now P aul won't won't be be aable ble ttoo play play in in the the Lobster Lobster Bowl Bowl and... a n d ... Oh! Oh!! Oh Oh!! Paul Arthur! Paul PRESTON and and PARKER PARKER seize seize HARRY HARRY and and clamp clamp a hand hand ov er his his mouth. mouth. PRESTON over HARRY goes goes limp limp in in their their arms. arms. HARRY PA UL PAUL (t ARRY and and ARTHUR) ARTH U R) (too H HARRY w llisten isten up up aand nd llisten isten good. good. Not Not one one more more word word out out of of you. you. You You didn't didn't see see it it and and it it No Now dn't happen. happen. di didn't AL L IS O N ALLISON (p ulling on on PAUL's PAUL's arm) arm ) (pulling C' mon. Let's Let's gget et out out of of here! h e re ! C'mon. PA UL PAUL C' mon, Alice. Alice. C'mon, is still still nursing nursing ARTHUR) (A LIC ICE E is ARTH UR) (ALICE c'mon, Alice. A lic e . I said said c'mon, AL ICE ALICE right there. there. I' ll bbee right I'll ALLISON AL LISON ppulls ulls PAU PAUL L ooff, ff, aand nd the the GANG GAN ANG G exits. exits. PRESTON PRESTON and and PARKER PARKER drop drop HARRY HARRY who who ffalls alls straight straight to to the the ground. ground. ALICE ALICE gets gets up up and and starts starts off. o ff. ARTHUR ARTHUR You Yo u don't don't have have to to go go with with them, them, you you know. know. You're You're better better than than they they are. a re . MU MUSIC S IC C CUE WONDERLAND UE 110: 0: IIN NW ONDERLAND ALICE ALICE can't expect I can't expect you you to to understand. understand. (SH (S (SHE HE llooks ooks at at A ARTHUR RTHUR tenderly, tenderly, then then sings sings softly) s o ftly ) THERE ARE ARE TW THERE TWO WONDERLAND. O WORLDS WORLDS IIN NW ONDERLAND. RIGHT AND AND W RIGHT WRONG WONDERLAND. RONG IIN NW ONDERLAND. RAISE VOICE IF I R AISE MY MY V OICE AND MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE A ND M AKE T HE W RONG C HOICE


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((ALICE) ALICE) WHAT WILL WH AT WI LL PEOPLE PEOPLE SAY? SAY ? TH ERE ARE ARE RULES RULES IN IN W ONDERLAND. THERE WONDERLAND. NO ONE ’S F REE IIN NW ONDERLAND. ONE’S FREE WONDERLAND. MAYBE WE MAKE MA YBE W E COULD COULD MA KE SOME FANTASTIC BREAK SO ME FA NTASTIC B REAK TURN RUN AWAY TU RN AND AND R UN A WAY .... .. (the MUSIC (th (t he MU MUS SIC bbecomes ecomes more more driving, ddrriving, as as does ddo oes HE HER R delivery) ddeelivery) BUT NO PLACE HIDE, BU T THERE'S THERE'S N OP LACE TO H IDE, LET'S DECIDE SO L E T 'S D E C ID E IT'S MISTAKE IT 'S A M ISTAKE TAKE THIS TOO FAR. TO TA KE TH IS TO OF AR. MEANT TO BE, IT WASN'T W A S N 'T M EANT T OB E, LET'S AGREE SO L E T 'S A GREE IT'S BETTER STAY WE ARE IT 'S B ETTER TO TO S TAY AS W E AR E ... ... JUST AS WE ARE. RE. JU ST A SW EA BECAUSE, BE CAUSE, I'VE GROWN UP WONDERLAND. I' VE G ROW N U P IN W ONDERLAND. ALL KNOWN WONDERLAND. AL L II'VE 'VE KNOW N IIS SW ONDERLAND. LOSE CONTROL I CAN’T CAN’T L OSE C ONTROL PLAY SOME OTHER ROLE, OR P LAY S OME OT HER R OLE, SORRY I’M S ORRY NOT THAT STRONG. I’M N OT T HAT S TRONG. (ass SSHE ENTIRE (a HE ssings, ings, tthe he E NTIRE CAST CAST enters enters slowly, slowly, forming forming a tableau tableau around around the th e stage, ARTHUR, HARRY st age, aall ll ey eeyes yes on on ARTHUR ARTHUR and and HARRY HA H ARRY – aalthough lthough A RTHUR, HA H ARRY aand nd ALICE menacing presence presence and AL ICE cannot cannot see see THEM, THEM EM,, THEIR THEI EIR R menacing and what what THEY THEY represent rep resent cann be felt) ca fe lt) GIVE UP WONDERLAND! I CAN'T C A N 'T G IVE U PW ONDERLAND! MAYBE YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND, MAYBE Y OU C A N ’T U NDERSTAND, BUT CLEAR THAT WONDERLAND BU T IT'S IT'S CL EAR T HAT WO NDERLAND WHERE IS W HERE I BELONG! BELONG! ENSEMBLE EN SEMBLE (dissonant) (d (di is s o n a n t) WELCOME WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND ALICE AL ICE exits, ARTH HUR and and HARRY HARRY on on the the ground. ground. exits, leaving leaving ARTHUR ART BLACKOUT BLA CKOUT END OF ACT ONE EN DO FA CT O NE


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MU MUSIC S IC C CUE UE 110A: 0A: EN ENTR’ACTE TR’ACTE TW O ACT TWO SCENE THE CAFETORIUM FOLLOWING ENE 1 - T HE C AFETORIUM - IMMEDIATELY IM M E D IA T E L Y F OLLOWING SC ARTHUR ARTHUR is ART ARTH HUR and and HARRY HARRY are are sitting sitting on on the the floor. fflloor. ARTHUR ARTH is holding h o ld in g a handkerchief to his his nose, nose, with handke handk erchief to with his his head head back. back. HARRY HA RRY Just Ju st bbreath. reath. Through Through your your mouth. m o u th . ARTHUR ART HUR Thanks, Th anks, Harry. H a rry . HARRY HA RRY (carrying with himself) himselff)) (c arrying on on a conversation conversation with Whyy would like I told told you, you, she's she's trouble. trouble. Yes, Yes, but but why why did did she she ask ask Wh would sshe he do do that? that? Well, Well, it's it's like herr Project maybe she she realized realized you were were smart. smart. But, But, she's she's smart, s m a rt, you to to be he Project Partner? Partner? Well, Well, maybe would Unless, shee act actually ually sort sort of of liked liked you? you? But But she she didn't didn't even even so why w hy w ould she she nneed eed yyou? ou? U nless, sh name. pretending just pr etending to to hide hide her her attraction... attraction... know your na me. Unless Unless sshe he was was just ARTHUR ART HUR Harry... Ha r r y ... HARRY HA RRY Yes, Arthur. Ye s, Ar th u r . ARTHUR ART HUR Please nose throb. th r o b . Pl ease stop. stop. You're You're making making my my nose HARRY HA RRY Okay. Ok ay. (HE (H E ssits its qquietly uietly for for a moment) m o m e n t) Oddly, never Marianne has has ne ver actually actually played played with with her her feminine feminine wiles wiles that that way. way. Well, W e ll, I Oddly, Marianne guess herr feelings she used used tto o deny deny he feelings for for me. me. But, But, I'm I'm sure sure that that part part of that that was was the the fact fact that that guess she I'm she wasn't wasn't sure sure how how to to fully fully read read my my non-verbal non-verbal I'm the the quiet, quiet, retiring retiring type type and and she communication communication when when I was was actually... actually... ARTHUR ART HUR Harry! Ha rry ! HARRY HA RRY Sorry. So rry . THEY moment. TH THE EY aare re bboth oth qquiet uiet ffor or a m o m e n t.


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ART HUR ARTHUR I' m ssorry. orry. I jjust ust ddon't on't kknow now w hat tto o do. do. I guess guess I really really don't don't understand understand the the opposite opposite sex. sex. I'm what HA RRY HARRY Th pposite sex! sex! A ppiece iece of of cake. cake. It's It's girls girls I don't don't uunderstand. nderstand. Thee oopposite MU S IC C UE 111: 1: G IR L S MUSIC CUE GIRLS ARTHUR ARTHUR Tell me Tell me about about it. it. YOU CAN DAY I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS Y OU C AN TALK TALK TO TO ALL ALL D AY WITHOUT TO SAY THING. WI THOUT HAVING H A V IN G T OS AY A T HING. WHEN THEY WRITE HAND I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY W RITE ON ON YOUR YOUR H AN D GIVE ME RING?” AND SAY, SAY, ““WON’T WON’T YOU GI VE M EAR ING?” HA RRY HARRY I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY’RE COVERED COVERED IIN NO IL WHEN THEY’RE OIL ‘C AUSE T HEY’RE HELPING HELPING YOU F IX YOUR B IKE ‘CAUSE THEY’RE FIX BIKE BOTH BO TH GIRLS WHAT WE GI RLS ARE ARE W HAT W E LIKE! LIKE! ARTHUR ART HUR WHEN THEY DO SILLY THINGS I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY D OS ILLY TH IN G S CATCHES OFF YOUR GUARD. AND IIT TC ATCHES YOU O FF Y OUR G UARD. YOU CAN PUNCH THE ARM I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS Y OU C AN P UNCH IIN NT HE A RM THEY PUNCH BACK TWICE HARD! AND T HEY P UNCH YOU B ACK T WICE AS HAR D! HARRY HA RRY STRIP AND LAY BARE I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS WHEN WHEN THEY THEY S TRIP A ND L AY B ARE INHIBITIONS AND SHARE IN HIBITIONS A ND S HARE THEIR THEIR THOUGHTS THOUGHTS BOTH BOTH GIRLS TIE KNOTS! N KNOT S! GI RLS T IE US IIN ARTHUR ARTHUR SPONTANEOUS SPO NTANEOUS OFTEN PICKY ICKY AND OF TEN P OVER SMALL DETAILS TAILS OVE RS MALL DE HARRY HA RRY THEY’RE YES! TH EY’RE ZANY, ZANY, Y ES! AND S SOMETIMES TRICKY OMETIMES T RICKY


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BOTH BOTH OU SM ALES! CONFUSING TO US MALES! CO N F U S IN G T EVAILS! STILL ONE THOUGHT PREVAILS! STILL O NE T HOUGHT PR ARTHUR ARTHUR HEN T HEY M EAN W HAT TH EY S AY WHEN THEY MEAN WHAT THEY SAY I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W THEY’RE MEAN WHILE AND T HEY’RE NOT M EAN W HILE SAYING SAYING IIT. T. EVEN WHEN THEY ARE MEAN. I LIKE LIKE GIRLS, GIRLS, E VEN W HEN T HEY AR EM EAN. MUST ADMIT. I STILL STILL LIKE LIKE THEM, THEM , I M UST A D M IT . HARRY HA RRY WHEN THEY’RE AN AXE, I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY’RE WIELDING WIELDING A NA XE, BUT DON’T HAVE TO GRIND. BU T THEY THEY D O N ’T H AVE AN AXE T O GR IND. BOTH BOTH GIRLS WE FIND ARE GI RLS W E ALWAYS ALWAYS F IND A RE ARTHUR ART HUR SOMEWHAT HYPNOTIC SO M EW HAT H YPNOTIC HARRY HA RRY KIND EXOTIC KI ND OF E XOTIC ART HUR ARTHUR ND BRE EZY COOL, CALM AND BREEZY COOL, CA LM A HARRY HA RRY OILED GREASY EASY OILED UP AND GR BOTH BO TH AND AL ALWAYS MIND! IND! WAYS ON OUR M HARRY HA RRY That Th at was was great! great! Let’s Let’s do do it it again! a g a in ! ARTHUR ART HUR Harry, Ha rry, I thought thought you you hated hated reprises. r e p r is e s . HARRY HA RRY Arthur, Ar thur, this this isn’t isn’t a reprise, reprise, it’s it’s an an Encore! E n c o re ! MUSIC CUE ENCORE UE 111a: 1a: GIRLS G IR L S E NCORE MUSIC C ART HUR ARTHUR I LIKE LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY G IV E Y OU A F LASH WHEN THEY GIVE YOU FLASH OF A S MILE AS YOU’ RE W A L K IN G B Y. SMILE YOU’RE WALKING BY.

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((ARTHUR) ARTHUR) LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HE LOOK LOOK IIN N TH EIR EYES EYES I LIKE WHEN THE THEIR TELLS YOU YOU CLEARLY CLEARLY THAT THAT YOU’ RE THEIR THEIR GUY. YOU’RE HA RRY HARRY LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY LI KE TO MAKE MAKE OUT OUT I LIKE WHEN THEY LIKE TH AT II’M ’M R IGHT EV EN WH EN II’M ’M N OT. THAT RIGHT EVEN WHEN NOT. BOTH BOTH GI RLS L IKE THAT THAT AR E HOT GIRLS LIKE ARE HOT!! ARTHUR ARTHUR PR EPOSTEROUS PREPOSTEROUS WITH EXPECTATIONS E X P E C T A T IO N S WITH NO GUY C AN F ULFILL CAN FULFILL HA RRY HARRY EX HAUSTEROUS EXHAUSTEROUS WI TH EXPLANATIONS E X P L A N A T IO N S WITH BOTH BOTH AM USING T O US S T IL L ! AMUSING TO STILL! WE C A N ’T G ET O UR FILL F IL L ! CAN’T GET OUR ART HUR ARTHUR LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY’RE GOOFY G O O FY A ND LA UG H I LIKE WHEN THEY’RE AND LAUGH WITHOUT CARE CARE F OR WH AT PEOPLE PEOPLE TH IN K . WITHOUT FOR WHAT THINK. LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY D O N ’T M AKE M EF EEL I LIKE WHEN THEY DON’T MAKE ME FEEL THAT, PERHAPS, PERHAPS, I S HOULD SEE SEE A SHRINK! SHRINK! THAT, SHOULD HA RRY HARRY LIKE GIRLS GIRLS W HEN T HEY’RE EASY EASY AND AND Q U IC K I LIKE WHEN THEY’RE QUICK WITH A LAUGH LAUGH A ND A JJOKE OKE F OR YOU. WITH AND FOR BO TH BOTH LW AYS F IN D D O GIRLS WE ALWAYS FIND DO GIRLS W EA ARTHUR ART HUR SOMETHING NEUROTIC SO M E T H IN G N E U R O T IC HARRY HA RRY OR IIDIOTIC DIOTIC ARTHUR ARTHUR WITH SMATTER WI TH JUST JU S T A S M ATTER


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HA RRY HARRY TER” HATTER” OF ““MAD MAD AS A HAT BO TH BOTH ST IL L T H E Y ’R E STILL THEY’RE UR M IN D ! A LW AYS O NO ALWAYS ON OUR MIND! SCENE GYM YM SC ENE 2 – G GUYS ALICIA thee TW TWEEDLE SISTERS. GUYS eenter, nter, followed followed by by ALLISON, ALLISON, AL ICIA aand nd th TWE EEDLE SI SIST STE ST ERS. PARKER PARKER The bigg match get kicked kicked off off the the team, team, we we don't don't stand stand a chance chance of T he bi match is is tomorrow! tomorrow! If If you get winning wi nning tthe he Lobster Lobster Bowl. Bowl. PAUL PAUL We’ve We ’ve all all got got to to stick stick together together on on this. this. I didn’t didn’t punch punch him, him, all all right? rig h t? ALLISON AL L IS O N Yeah, Ye ah, hhee wasn't wasn't eeven ven there, there, the the new new kid kid made made it it up. up. PRESTON PR ESTON Thee new Th new kid kid made made it it up? up? I can can get get behind behind that. th a t. ALL AL L aagree. gree. ALLISON AL L IS O N (too P PAUL) (t AUL) Guys mock Guys ggo o pput ut oon n yyour our m ock turtlenecks turtlenecks and and get get on on the the pitch. pitch. Pretend Pretend you’ve you’ve been been practicing practicing since since lunch. lunch. PAUL PA UL Thanks, Th anks, Allison. Allison. You’re You’re tthe he best. b e s t. ALLISON AL L IS O N (flirting) (f (fl lir tin g ) You Yo u see, see, tthree hree syllables syllables are are better better than than two. two. Now Now go! go! (BOYS GIRLS) (B OYS exit. exit. To To G IRLS) class, and and the the new new kid’s So rremember, emember, we in time time for for class, kid’s lying lying if if he he says says Paul Paul we came came back back just just in hitt him. hi him. ALICE AL ICE enters enters and and hears hears this. th is . ALICE AL ICE That's Th at's not not really really fair. fair. Arthur Arthur didn’t didn’t do… do…


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AL L IS O N ALLISON ike a “queen” “queen” in in a chess chess game) gam e ) (moves across across the the floor fflloor llike (moves Fa ir?! If If yyou ou hhadn’t adn’t been been flirting ffllirting with with “Arthur,” “Arthur,” Paul Paul wouldn’t wouldn’t have have had had to to hit hit him him in in the th e Fair?! fi rst place. p la c e . first SA NDY SANDY Sh as just just bbeing eing friendly. f r ie n d ly . Shee w was DE E DE E DEE DEE To a boy, boy, bbeing eing friendly friendly is is flirting. ffllirting. AL L IS O N ALLISON Sn ap it it Tweedles! Tweedles! A Quadrille Quadrille is expected expected to set set high high standards standards and and to accept accept leadership leadership Snap re sponsibilities with with poise poise and and charm. charm. responsibilities SANDY SANDY “P oison ccharm?” harm?” Sounds Sounds dangerous! d an g ero u s! “Poison ALICIA ALICIA and ruin ruin Cotillion. C o tillio n . He actions could could cost cost us us the the match match and Herr actions ALLISON ALLISON Do we want want tto o bbee remembered remembered as as the the first first class class of of twisted twisted wicket wicket losers losers in in our our school's s c h o o l's hi story? history? ALICE ALICE Al lison, why why aare re you you doing doing this? th is ? Allison, AL ICIA ALICIA ic e . Yo u bbrought rought tthis his on on yourself, yourself, Al You Alice. AL L IS O N ALLISON I say say that that if if Alice Alice is is willing willing to to throw throw away away everything everything that that we we have have worked worked for, for, then then off off with wi th her her head! head! I’ll I’ll be be the the new new Quadrille Quadrille Team Team leader! le a d e r ! ALICE AL ICE Whyy aare Wh re you you so so hateful? h a te fu l? ALLISON AL L IS O N Hate? Hate? That’s That’s a strong strong word. word. (thinks moment) (t h in k s a m o m e n t) I like like it. it. MU MUSIC CUE HATE ME E S IC C UE 112: 2: H ATE M ALICE AL ICE You Yo u won’t won’t gget et aaway way with with tthis, his, Allison. Allison.


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AL L IS O N ALLISON I already already have. have. ALICE, DEAR, DEAR, T HE GAMES GAMES Y O U ’V E B EEN PLAYING PLAYING ALICE, THE YOU’VE BEEN EEN S A Y IN G LISTEN TO THE THE THINGS THINGS Y O U ’V E B LISTEN YOU’VE BEEN SAYING YOU’RE A F OOL; YOU S HOULDA B YOU’RE FOOL; SHOULDA BEEN PRAYING EEN P RAYING WAS NOT NOT K EEPING S CORE I WAS KEEPING SCORE ‘CAUSE W HEN Y OU L ASHED O UT IIN ‘CAUSE WHEN YOU LASHED OUT N DEFIANCE DEFIANCE BEGAN T OD OUBT Y OU R A LLIANCE. I BEGAN TO DOUBT YOUR ALLIANCE. FRIENDSHIP TAKES CERTAIN FRIENDSHIP T AKES A C ERTAIN COMPLIANCE COMPLIANCE YOU SHOULDA SHOWN SOME MORE SHOULDA S HOWN S OME MO RE BUT WANT BUT IF IF YOU YOU W ANT A FIGHT FIGHT OKAY T THEN HEN ALL ALL RIGHT RIGHT ALLISON fingers DEE DEE ALICIA EE D ALLISON ssnaps naps hher ingers aand nd SANDY, SAN AND D Y, D EE and and AL ICIA become becom e a er ffi backup backup singing singing group, group, ala ala “the “the Supremes.” Supremes.” QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S COME ON HATE ME COME O NH ATE M E ALLISON AL L IS O N TO HATE ME I WANT WANT YOU YOU T OH ATE M E QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S GO ON HAT HATE ME EM E ALLISON ALLISON SO T TAUNT ME BAIT ME AUNT M E AND AND B A IT M E QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S COME ON HATE ME ATE M E CO ME O NH ALLISON ALLISON YOU TO BOSS ME I DARE DARE Y OU T OB OSS M E QUADRILLES QUADRILLES HATE ME GO ON HAT EM E ALLISON ALLISON I SWEAR CROSS ME SWEAR IF YOU YOU C RO SS M E YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL F IND OUT HOW MUCH MUCH I HATE TOO HATE YOU YOU T OO

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(ALLISON) (ALLISON) ST AY W IT H T HE B OY STAY WITH THE BOY AND GO AGAI NST YOUR PE ERS AGAINST PEERS I' LL JJUMP UMP F OR JJOY OY I'LL FOR AND YOU' LL B ES HEDDIN’ T EARS YOU'LL BE SHEDDIN’ TEARS I WON'T WON'T JJUST UST A NNOY Y OU ANNOY YOU I' LL F LAT-OUT DE STROY YOU I'LL FLAT-OUT DESTROY 'C AUSE T RUTHFULLY 'CAUSE TRUTHFULLY I' VE H ATED Y OU F OR Y EARS I'VE HATED YOU FOR YEARS QU ADRILLES QUADRILLES NOW L E T ’S R EVIEW LET’S REVIEW TH E LES SON SHOULD SHOULD B EC LEAR THE LESSON BE CLEAR WE 'LL YELL YELL AT AT YOU YOU WE'LL IN C ASE Y OU D IDN'T H EAR CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR FOR YOUR YOUR IINFORMATION NFORMATION FOR WE'LL GET GET “IN “IN FORMATION” FORMATION” WE'LL E 'L L S PELL IIT T IN IN A C HEER AND W WE'LL SPELL CHEER An hey do do - w leading. ith ALLISON ALLISON leading. Andd tthey with ALLISON ALLISON I' VE! I'VE! QUADRILLES QUADRILLES I-V-E! I-V-E! ALLISON ALLISON HATED! HATED! QUADRILLES QUADRILLES H-A-T-E-D! H-A-T-E-D! ALLISON ALLISON YOU! QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES Y-O-U! Y -O-U! ALLISON AL L IS O N YES, YE S, I DO! ALL ALL I'VE YOU FOR YEARS! I'VE HATED HATED Y OU F OR Y EARS! YAY!


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The e g in s . A ALLISON LLISSON aand LLI nd tthe he Q QUADRILLES UADRILLES move UA move llike ike chess The “chess “chess ggame” ame” bbegins. chess boxing ALICE pieces, pieces, ultimately ultimately boxing ALICE in in for for the the final ffiinal “check-mate.” “check-mate.” QU ADRILLES QUADRILLES COME O NH ATE M E COME ON HATE ME ALLISON AL L IS O N TO HATE ME I WANT WANT YOU YOU T OH ATE M E QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES HATE ME HATE M E ALLISON ALLISON SO T TAUNT ME BAIT ME AUNT M E AND AND B A IT M E QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES HATE ME HATE M E ALLISON AL L IS O N I DARE YOU TO BOSS ME DARE Y OU T OB OSS M E QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES HATE ME HATE M E AL L IS O N ALLISON I SWEAR SWEAR IF YOU YOU C ROSS M E CROSS ME I' MT HROUGH W AITING TH ERE ON ON TH E SIDELINES SIDELINES I'M THROUGH WAITING THERE THE YOU W ERE W ELL AWARE AWARE OF THE THE GUIDELINES GUIDELINES WERE WELL SI NCE, T HE GUIDELINES G U ID E L IN E S W EREN’T VERY VERY W IDE LINES LINES SINCE, THE WEREN’T WIDE I KNEW KNEW MY MY CHANCE CHANCE W AS N EAR WAS NEAR KNOWING WHAT THIN ICE YOU’VE BEEN SKATING KNOW ING W HAT T HIN IC EY OU’VE B EEN S KATING I KEPT WITH MY TEETH KEPT SMILING, SMILING, W ITH M YT EETH GRATING G R A T IN G EVERY MADE, CALCULATING ADE, C ALCULATING EV ERY STEP STEP I M HOPING YOU’D CRACK, DEAR DC RACK, MY D EAR HOP ING YOU’ START TART AND AS YOU S SINK TO S IN K WHAT YOU KNOW W HAT I THINK? THINK? QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES COME ON HATE ME ATE M E COME O NH ALLISON ALLISON I WANT TO HATE ME WANT YOU YOU T OH ATE M E

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QU ADRILLES QUADRILLES EM E GO ON HAT HATE ME ALLISON ALLISON YOU T AUNT M E AND B AIT ME ME TAUNT ME BAIT QUADRILLES QUADRILLES CO ME O NH ATE M E COME ON HATE ME ALLISON ALLISON W O N 'T L ET YOU YOU B OSS M E I WON'T LET BOSS ME QU ADRILLES QUADRILLES EM E GO ON HAT HATE ME AL L IS O N ALLISON HEN YOU C ROSS M E YOU'LL KNOW W YOU'LL WHEN CROSS ME CH I H ATE Y OU T OO YOU'LL F IND OUT HOW MU YOU'LL FIND MUCH HATE YOU TOO YE S, I R EALLY DO YES, REALLY QUADRILLES QUADRILLES OO-OO-OO-OO OO-OO-OO-OO ALLISON ALLISON ALICE, I HATE HATE YOU ALICE, QUADRILLES QUADRILLES AN B ET THAT’S THAT’S T RUE! YOU C CAN BET TRUE! ALLISON ALLISON HEN II'M 'M DONE W ITH Y OU AND W WHEN WITH YOU ALICE YOU'LL YOU'LL B E THROUGH! THROUGH! ALICE BE TIME FOR FOR YOU YOU T O RUN RUN AND P OUT? IS IT TIME TO POUT? QUADRILLES QUADRILLES CHECK! CHECK! ALLISON ALLISON ARE SHOCKED TO FIND THERE’S BEEN ROUT? HOCKED T OF IND T HERE’S B ARE YOU S EEN A R OUT? QUADRILLES QUADRILLES CHECK! CHECK! ALLISON ALLISON IS T THE MEANS YOU’RE OUT? HE VERDICT VERDICT IN, IN, WHICH WHICH M EANS YOU’ RE OU T?


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QU ADRILLES QUADRILLES CH ECK! CHECK! ALLISON ALLISON NOW II’M ’M T HE QUE EN! THE QUEEN! QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES SHE’S THE QUEEN! NOW S HE’S T HE QUE EN! ALLISON AL L IS O N FACT WITHOUT DOUBT! AF ACT W ITHOUT DOUB T! QUADRILLES QU ADRILLES HOORAY! HOOR AY! ALLISON AL L IS O N YOU’RE SO GREAT, YOU’ RE NOT S O GR EAT, QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S HOORAY! HOOR AY! ALLISON AL L IS O N QUITE SECOND RATE, QUI TE S ECOND RA TE, QUADRILLES QU A D R IL L E S HOOR AY! HOORAY! ALLISON AL L IS O N WHAT’S FATE? AND W HAT’S YOUR F ATE? ALLISON QUADRILLES AL L IS O N & Q UADRILLES CHECK-MATE! CH ECK-MATE! ALICE ALICE runs runs off, off, hurt hurt and and humiliated. humiliated. ALLISON ALLISON laughs laughs as as SHE SHE and and the th e QUADRILLES QUADRILLES eexit xit and and the the scene scene changes changes around around them. them. MU S IC C MUSIC CUE SCENE CHANGE HATE ME 2a: S CENE C HANGE - H ATE M UE 112a: E SCENE 3 – SCHOOL SCHOOL STORE STO RE SCENE ALICE is is w alking alone alone in in the the hall. hall. She She is is desperate desperate to to talk talk to to someone. someone. She She sees sees ALICE walking KA TT’S ""b bookstore" and and reads reads th sig ign n on on the the door. ddo oor. KATT’S "bookstore" thee sign ALICE ALICE Hmm..."Conversation Advice Hmm..."Conversation iiss CHEAP; CHEAP; Ad vice can can be be COSTLY." COSTLY."


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W O NWDOE NRDLEARNL DA N HD I HG IHG H AL ICE rings rings a bbell ell on on the the table. table. We We hear hear KATT KAT K ATT AT T before before we we see see HER. HER HE R. ALICE

KATT KATT (offfff) (o f) (off) Wh at are are you you looking looking for? for? I've I've got got a special special today today on on white white handkerchiefs handkerchiefs and and a special s p e c ia l What to morrow on on jjam… am … tomorrow (SH (S HE appears appears aand nd HER HER ddemeanor deemeanor becomes becom es m uch le ss fr iendly upon uup pon seeing seeing (SHE much less friendly AL ICE) ALICE) Oh t's yyou. ou. Oh.. IIt's AL ICE ALICE (meekly) (meekly) Hi Hi.. KA TT KATT Wh at's the the problem? problem? What's MA R IA N N E MARIANNE (v oice from from the the closet) c lo s e t) (voice has arrived. a r r iv e d . tt, the the bulk bulk order order from from Staples Staples has Ka Katt, KA TT KATT (t ARIA IAN NNE) (too M MARIANNE) Ju st si gn for for iitt aand nd stock stock the the shelves. shelves. Just sign (b ack to to ALICE, ALIC ICE E, SHE SHE pulls out a clipboard) c lip b o a r d ) pulls out (back Wh at do do you you need? need? What MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Ka C.O.D. H wants cash cash or or a certified certif tifie ied check. check. tt, tthe he Staples Staples guy guy says says it 's 's strictly strictly C.O.D. Katt, Hee wants KA TT KATT (t LIC ICE E) (too A ALICE) Ex cuse me. m e. Excuse (too M MARIANNE) (t ARIA IAN NNE) Tell We ddon't on't do do C.O.D. C .O .D . T ell him him to to send send a little little bill. b ill. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E I told him. He's He's refusing refusing to the truck. truck. told him. to unload unload the KATT KA TT For For the the love love of of Mike! M ik e ! (too A ALICE) (t LIC ICE E) Pardon me. Pa rd o n m e. (SHE wee hhear (SH (S HE ddisappears. isappears. SSoon oon w ear a muffled muffflled aargument rgument and and the the sound sound of.... of.... what? w h a t? A frying fry fr ying ppan an hhitting itting someone someone over over the the head? head? SHE SSH HE reappears, reappears, still still talking talk lkin ing to someone so meone in in the the bback) ack) Yeah, Ye ah, well well sue sue me. me. Marianne, Marianne, help help him him unload unload the the truck. tr u c k .


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(KATT) (KATT) (back (back to to ALICE) ALIC ICE E) Well...? Well...? ALICE ALICE Th at's Marianne? M a ria n n e ? That's KA TT KATT Ye ah, sshe's he's rreally eally good. good. Our Our business business hhas as expanded expanded greatly greatly since since lunch. lunch. Well...? W e ll...? Yeah, AL ICE ALICE Oh ll, tthere's here's this this boy. boy. Oh,, we well, MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Ka tt, I don't don't tthink hink there's there's enough enough room room for for everything everything we ordered. o rd e re d . Katt, KATT KA TT Make Ma ke room. ro o m . MARIANNE MA R IA N N E I think think that... th a t... (There fallen (Thhere is (T is a clatter, clatter, as as if if SOMEONE SOM SO MEONE hhas as fa llen off off of of a ladder ladder and and taken taken several several shelves shelves of of merchandise merchandise with with THEM. THE TH EM. KATT K KA ATT waits.) waits.) my Ow, m y hhead. ead. I'm I'm all all right! r ig h t! KA TT KATT So,, back So A r th u r . back to to your your friend friend Arthur. ALICE AL ICE How Ho w ddid id yyou... o u ... ? KATT KA TT Whoo can why Why, might Wh can explain e x p la in w hy ggrass rass ggrows? ro w s? W hy, yyou ou m ight aass well well ponder ponder a seed. seed. ALICE ALICE (totally (t otally lost) lo s t) I don't don't uunderstand... nderstand... KATT KATT Whyy sshould Wh hould you? you? This This world world is is uunknown nknown to to you. you. ALICE AL ICE world My w orld rright ight nnow ow seems seems uupside pside down. dow n.


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KA TT KATT Pe rhaps you you sshould hould sstand tand on on yyour our head... head... metaphorically metaphorically speaking, speaking, of Decide who w ho of course. course. Decide Perhaps you are. are. Decide Decide what what you want. want. Honesty’s Honesty’s the the best best policy. policy. Watch Watch for for falling falling rocks. rocks. Ice Ice on ro ad. Aim Aim high high in in steering. steering. Prepare Prepare to to merge. merge. road. ALICE ALICE I' m cconfused. o n fu sed . I'm MU MUSIC S IC C CUE UE 113: 3: W WHO HO A ARE RE YOU? YOU? KA KATT TT YOUR L LIFE IFE IIS SC CONFUSING ONFUSING I DON’T DON’T DISAGREE DISAGREE I FIND FIND IT A AMUSING MUSING YOU’ YOU’D DS SHARE HARE T THAT HAT W WITH IT H M ME E CO CONSIDERING NSIDERING Y YOUR OUR CRI CRISIS SIS I’LL MY PRICES I’L L SET SET ASIDE ASIDE M YP RICES REE AND GIVE SOME ADVICE FOR FREE GIVE YOU S OME ADVI CE F OR F WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ALL WHEN Y OUR F R IE N D S A LL BORE BORE YOU YOU AND YOU NE NEED FIX ED A F IX I'VE SOMETHING FOR I'VE GOT GOT S OMETHING F OR YOU IN M MY BAG OF TRICKS. YB AG O FT RICKS. IT'S BEST SUGGESTION, IT'S MY MY B EST S UGGESTION, ALL TO ALL YOU HAVE T O DO ANSWER ONE SMALL IS A NSW ER O NE S MALL QUESTION: QUESTION: "WHO THE "W HO T HE HELL HELL ARE ARE YOU?" YOU?"* IF Y OUR F RIENDS D ESERT Y OU YOUR FRIENDS DESERT YOU DO YOU L OSE YOUR W AY? LOSE WAY? DO T HEY T RY T O HUR T YOU THEY TRY TO HURT WITH THEY SAY? WI TH THE THE THINGS T H IN G S T HEY S AY? THEY SHOW AGGRESSION DO T HEY S HOW AGGR ESSION ALMOST EV'RY AL MOST E V'RY DAY? THEN ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: OURSELF TH IS Q UESTION: TH EN A SK Y "WHO THE ARE THEY?" THEY?" "W HO T HE HELL HELL ARE YOU DON' DON'T WHERE TO T KNOW W HERE T O GO GO BUT NOT BIZARRE BUT THAT'S T H A T 'S N OT BI ZARRE 'CAUSE CLEAR YOU DON'T 'CAUSE IIT'S T'S C LEAR Y OU DON' T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! WH O OR OR WHAT WHAT Y OU A RE! *

If If yyour our production production has has any any concerns concerns with with the the use use of of the the word word ““hell,” hell,” the the authors authors have have approved approved changing c h a n g in g those thee line the word word “who” “who” – so so th line would would read read “Who? “Who? Who? Who? Who Who are are th ose instances instances in the the song song with with repeating repeating the you?”” aand you? nd ssoo forth forth throughout throughout the the lyric. lyric.


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(KATT) (KATT) AND IIF F YOU DON' T KNO WY OURSELF DON'T KNOW YOURSELF YOU W ON'T GE T VE RY F AR! WON'T GET VERY FAR! WHEN Y OUR WO RLD H AS SPL IN T E R E D WHEN YOUR WORLD HAS SPLINTERED YOU'RE AND YOU' RE FEELING FEELING BLUE, BLUE, TRY TR Y TO BE BE SELF-CENTERED SELF-CENTERED YOUR POINT OF VIEW. IN Y OUR P OINT O FV IEW. IT'S IT 'S CALLED CALLED SELF SELF PROGRESSION, PROGRESSION, ALL TO AL L YOU HAVE T O DO FIGURE OUT THE QUESTION: IS F IGURE O UT T HE Q UESTION: "WHO "WHO THE THE HELL HELL ARE ARE YOU!" YOU!" KATT KA TT ddisappears. is a p p e a r s . ALICE AL ICE Well, But, what what should should I do. do. that's easy easy for for you you to to say. say. But, We ll, that's KATT KA TT (off) (of (o ffff) f) Find Fi nd tthe he truth. truth. Tell Tell the the truth. truth. Keep Keep your your toothbrush toothbrush sharpened sharpened and and make make amends. am ends. ALICE AL ICE What? Wh at? Hey, Hey, what what does does that that mean? mean? Hey!? H e y !? ALICE her book book bag. bag. AL ICE begins begins ringing ringing the the bell bell furiously. furiously. MARIANNE MARI ARIAN ANN AN NE appears appears with with her MARIANNE MA R IA N N E (yelling (y elling into into the the closet) c lo s e t) Alll rright! It’ll ight! It ’ll get get there! there! Don’t Don’t worry. worry. I’ll Sign those those checks! checks! Al I’ll just just walk walk a little little faster. faster. Sign MARIANNE ringing the the bell. MA R IA AN NNE stops stops sshort, hort, staring staring at at ALICE ALICE ringing b e ll. ALICE ALICE (embarrassed caught ringing ringing the the bell) b e ll) (embarrassed at at bbeing eing caught Hello. Hello. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Oh,, hello. Oh hello. I’ve I’ve got got a delivery. delivery. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. Can’t Can’t be late. la te . ALICE AL ICE Oh,, right. Oh right. See See ya. ya. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Yeah, Ye ah, see see ya. ya. MARIANNE MA R IA AN NNE starts starts to to head head down down the the hall hall and and ALICE ALICE stops stops her. her.


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AL ICE ALICE Hey, Marianne? M a r ia n n e ? Hey, MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Yeah? Yeah? ALICE ALICE We w in grade grade school school and and junior junior high. high. What What happened? were ere good good friends friends in happened? MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Yo u bbecame ecame popular. popular. You You became became head head of of the the Quadrille Quadrille Team. Team. I just You just stayed stayed me. me. I don’t d o n ’t bl ame you. blame ALICE ALICE I think think I ddo. o. My My popularity popularity meter meter took took a dive dive today. to d a y . MA R IA N N E MARIANNE tarts tto o lleave eave again again but (SH (S HE sstarts but stops.) s to p s .) (SHE So I hheard. eard. IIt’s t’s all all over over the the school. school. If If it's it's any any consolation, consolation, not being being popular popular isn't isn't so so bad. bad. An d yyou ou still still hhave ave one one thing thing they they don't. d o n 't. And AL ICE ALICE Oh yyeah? eah? What's What's that? th a t? MA R IA N N E MARIANNE A bbrain rain aand nd ssomeone omeone nice nice who who cares cares about about you. you. AL ICE ALICE Wh o? Who? MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Ar thur, dduh. uh. Arthur, AL ICE ALICE fter the the way way I treated treated him him at at lunch, lunch, I don't don't think think he 's eever ver goi ng to to want want to to talk talk to to me me Oh,, aafter he's going Oh again. ag ain. MARIANNE MARIANNE I bet bet if if you you show show Arthur Arthur the the "new" "new" Alice, Alice, he’ll he’ll forget forget about about the the petty, petty, evil evil and and two-faced two-faced Alice Al ice you you were were an an hour hour ago. ago. ALICE AL ICE Well, We ll, when when you you put put it it like like that... th a t... MARIANNE MARIANNE I mean, mean, what what have have you you got got to to llose. ose.


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ALICE ALICE Let's be Let's be honest. honest. Nothing. N o th in g . (ALICE) (ALICE) (thinks moment, (t h in k s a m oment, to to herself) herselff)) “Let’s “Let’s be be honest.” h o n e s t.” (too M MARIANNE) (t ARIA IAN NNE) I gotta go. gotta go. (pause) (pause) Listen, Listen, you you wanna wanna walk walk home home together together after s c h o o l. after school. MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Don’t Do n’t yyou ou hhave ave to to ooversee versee the the decorating decorating of of the... the... ? Oh, Oh, I guess guess that's that's nnot ot happening. happening. ALICE AL ICE Exactly. Ex actly. That's That's Allison's Allison's gig gig now. now. I'm I'm sure sure she'll she'll do do just just fine. fin e . MARIANNE MA R IA N N E You ad a personal personal revelation revelation doesn't doesn't mean mean you you have have to to be be You kknow, now, jjust ust bbecause ecause you've you've hhad nice wasp in in a wig.. wig.. nice about about everything. everything. Allison's Allison's a wasp ALICE AL ICE Do yyou it’ss a w wig? ou tthink hink it’ ig? MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Can’t Can’t you you ttell? ell? Everyone Everyone at at school school knows knows – sshe’s he’s not not ffooling fo ooling anyone! anyone! THEY THE TH EY llaugh. augh. ALICE ALICE Marianne, you’re wicked! wicked! I'll I'll meet s c h o o l! Marianne, you’re meet you you back back here here after after school! MARIANNE MA R IA N N E See you then! th e n ! See you ALICE MARIANNE AL ICE and and M ARI ARIAN ANN AN NE exit exit in in opposite opposite directions. directions. KATT KAT K ATT AT T appears appears in in the the doorway door way of the the bookstore. booksstore. book KATT KA TT She actually took took my my advice? advice? I should should have have charged charged her! h e r! She actually ((SHE SH SHE E looks look ookss ttoo ssee ee if if HARRY HARRY is is around. around. Satisfied, Satisffiied, SHE SHE counts count ountss off off the the band) band) 5, 6, 7, 8! MUSIC C MUSIC CUE REPRISE E P R IS E UE 13a: 13a: WHO WHO ARE ARE YOU? YOU? - R WHEN YOUR WORLD HAS RLD H AS SPLINTERED SPLINTERED WH EN Y OUR WO AND YOU' YOU'RE FEELING BLUE, RE F EELING B LUE, TRY TR Y TO BE BE SELF-CENTERED SELF-CENTERED IN Y YOUR POINT OF VIEW. OUR P OINT O FV IEW.

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W O NWDOE NRDLEARNL DA N HD I HG IHG H (KATT) (KATT) IT 'S CALLED CALLED SELF SELF RELIANCE, RELIANCE, IT'S ALL YOU HAVE T O DO ALL TO HOUT O UT IN D EFIANCE: IS S SHOUT OUT DEFIANCE: "WHO T HE HELL HELL ARE ARE YOU?" YOU?" "WHO THE KA TT ddisappears. isappears. The The G ARDEN GLEES GLEES gather gather downstage. downstage. As As THEY TH EY m e e t, KATT GARDEN meet, AL ICE crosses crosses towards towards tthem. hem . T HE G ARDEN GLEES GLEES freeze freeze iin n their their “flower “ffllower ALICE THE GARDEN pos e s .” poses.” AL ICE ALICE

He llo . Hello. begin to (T (Th he GARDEN GARDEN GLEES GLEES eyes eyes grow grow wide wide as as THEY THEY begin to tremble tremble a little) little ) (The okay. You You can can sspeak, peak, you you know. know . It ’s okay. It’s GA RDEN GL EES GARDEN GLEES (i n is o n ) (inn uunison) To you?! you?! AL ICE ALICE Of ccourse. ourse. II’m ’m sorry sorry iiff I eever ver m ade you you feel ffeeel otherwise. otherwise. made RO SE ROSE It ’s okay. okay. We We mostly mostly feel feel otherwise. otherwise. It’s VI OLET VIOLET I’v een ffeeling eeling otherwise otherwise all all day. day. I’vee bbeen AL ICE and and tthe he GARDEN GARDEN GLEES GLEES chuckle. c h u c k le . ALICE AL ICE ALICE I heard heard you you rehearsing rehearsing earlier. earlier. You You sound sound good. good.

DAISY DAI SY And And now, now, iit’s t’s finally finally finished. f in is h e d . LILY LILY Let’s Let’s see see it! it! DAISY DA ISY hands hands out out the the parts. p a r ts . VIOLET VI OLET I can’t can’t wait! w a it!


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ROSE ROSE (looking (l ooking at at the the end) end) really is fi n is h e d ! I see finished! see a ddouble ouble bar bar line! line! I guess guess it really AL ICE ALICE Can Can I hhear ear it? it? ROSE ROSE Dust Du st ooff ff yyour our ““deedles,” deedles,” Lily, Lily, and and take take us us home! hom e! DAISY DAISY Vi,, ggive Vi ive us us aann “E!” “ E !” VIOLET thee pitchpipe. V IOLET plays plays aann “E” “E” oon n th pitchpipe. MUSIC MUSIC C CUE UE 113b: 3b: THE THE O ODE DE O OF FW WONDERLAND ONDERLAND – G GARDEN ARDEN G GLEES LEES F FINAL IN A L GA GARDEN RDEN GL GLEES EES O, W WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! ONDERLAND! O, W ONDERLAND! THOUGH FOUR AND THIRTY YEARS MAY PASS TH OUGH F OUR A ND TH IRTY Y EARS M AY P ASS FROM SEA TO SEA OR SAND TO SAND AND FR OM SE AT O SE AO RS AND T OS FROM STONE TO STONE GRASS TO GRASS FR OM ST ONE T O ST ONE AND GR ASS T O GR ASS THE ODE OF OLD REVEALS THE POWER TH EO DE O FO LD R EVEALS T HE PO W ER WHEN THE GOLDEN HORN WHEN T HE G OLDEN H ORN IS IS BLOWN BLOW N UPON THAT FATEFUL AND UP ON T HAT F ATEFUL HOUR HOUR THE TRUE OF WONDERLAND WILL BE TH E TR UE HEART HEART O FW ONDERLAND W IL L B E SHOWN SHOWN Thee GARDEN Th GARDEN GLEES GLE LEE ES squeal squeal with with glee glee when when they they finish, ffiinish, exiting exiting with with some som e “high-fives” watches and “h igh-fives” and and self-congratulations. self lf--congratulations. ALICE ALICE watches and heads heads off off in in the the other other direction. direction. SCENE DR. CLASSROOM SC ENE 4 – D R. BLOOM’S B L O O M ’S C LASSROOM tis s u e ART ARTH HUR is is sitting sitting on on the the edge edge of of BLOOM’s BLOOM’s desk. desk. BLOOM BLOOM is is holding holding a tissue ARTHUR bloody nose. nose. pi nched to to ARTHUR'S ARTHUR'S bloody pinched BLOOM BLOOM this morning? m o r n in g ? Alll this Al this over over a girl girl you you just just met met this ARTHUR ART HUR make But I know. know. It doesn't d o e s n 't m ake ssense. ense. B ut nothing nothing in in this this school school makes makes sense. sense. BLOOM BLO OM Arthur, ever makes makes sense. sense. It's It's a strange strange time time when when young young Ar thur, nnothing othing iinn any any High High School School ever adults ad ults are are just just figuring figuring out out who who they they might might become, become, and and a great great time time when when they they don't d o n 't actually act ually have have to to make make a choice. choice.


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ARTHUR ARTHUR I guess. guess. BLOOM BLOOM Come on! on! Chin Chin up! up! Things Things will will get get better. b e tte r. Come

ARTHUR ARTHUR Right. Sure Sure they they will. w ill. Right. he (LIG IGH HTS cchange hange and and ffocus ocus on H IM as sscene cene ffreezes—HE reezes—HE aaddresses ddresses tthe (LIGHTS HIM audience) audience) I’ll jjust ust count count to to ten. ten. One, One, Two... T w o ... I’ll (there is is a knock, knock, and and ALICE ALIC ICE E enters) e n te r s ) (there Ten. Ten. LIGHTS rreturn eturn tto LIC LI CE ssteps teps iinto nto scene. scene. o nnormal ormal aass A LIGHTS ALICE ALICE ALICE Hello, Dr. Dr. Bloom? B lo o m ? Hello, ARTHUR ARTHUR Hi, Alice. Alice. Hi, ALICE ALICE Oh, hhi, i, Arthur. Arthur. Oh, at BLOOM, BLOOM, encouraging to There is is aann aawkward wkward silence. silence. ARTHUR ARTHUR looks looks at encouraging HER HER to There leave. leave. BLOOM BLOOM (getting the the hint) h in t) (getting Well, I'll ean, I've I've got got to take take this this cup cup to the the teacher's teacher's lounge. lounge. I'll leave leave you you two two alone. a lo n e . I m Well, mean, ALICE ALICE (s to p p in g H ER) (stopping HER) mean, Dr. Dr. Bloom... Bloom... it's that I was was hoping hoping to to talk talk to. to . No!! I mean, No it's you you that BLOOM BLOOM Oh.. Oh ARTHUR ART HUR (disappointed) (diisappointed) (d Oh. Oh. Well, Well, maybe maybe I should should be... b e ... ALICE ALICE No. Arthur. No. You You stay stay Ar th u r .


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ART HUR ARTHUR Ok ay. Okay. AL IC E ALICE Th is iinvolves nvolves you you too. to o . This (SH (S HE ttakes akes a breath breath to HER R ccourage) ourage) (SHE to summon summon HE Dr. B I'm not not proud proud of... of... something something I regret. regret. Dr. Bloom. loom. I’ve I’ve ddone one ssomething omething I'm BLO OM BLOOM (very (v ery concerned) concerned) Alice? Alice? AL ICE ALICE I shall shall be it now, now, I suppose, suppose, but but I am am willing willing to to accept accept the the consequences. consequences. be punished punished for for it Th is m orning there there was was a lying, lying, deceitful deceitful girl girl in in your your class class who who helped helped the the other other students s tu d e n ts This morning not now. now . cheat Well, I was was her... her... but but I'm I'm not ch eat on on your your pop pop quiz. quiz. I'm I'm not not here. here. Well, BLOOM BLO OM It sounds sounds llike ike you’ve you’ve changed. changed. ALICE AL ICE since this this morning. morning. I think think I’ve I’ve changed changed several several times times since BLOOM BLO OM That's Th at's not not unusual. u n u s u a l. (beat) (beat) Alice, I don't However, owning owning up up to to your your actions actions is is something something that th a t I Alice, don't condone condone cheating. cheating. However, respect. When quiz, I said said it it would would be be a sort sort of of “get “get acquainted” acquainted” activity. a c tiv ity . respect. When I handed handed out out the the quiz, wasn't aabout probably let let it it pass. pass. It wasn't wee can probably bout a grade. grade. So, So, w AL ICE ALICE (sincerely) (sincerely) Thank Thank you you ssoo much! much! I hope hope Arthur Arthur isn't isn't here here in in your your office office because because of of me. me. He He shouldn’t s h o u ld n ’t take thee hit. take th hit. BLOOM BLO OM (indicating (indicating ARTHUR’s ARTHUR’s nose) nose) A little late for for that. little late th a t. ARTHUR ARTHUR Mom! Mom! ALICE ALICE (surprised) (surprised) Mom? Mom? “Dr. “Dr. Bloom” Bloom” is your… y o u r…


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Mo m… Mom… ALICE ALICE (smiling) (smiling) Well. That’s… That’s… okay. okay. Well. ARTHUR ARTHUR (also smiling) s m ilin g ) (also Yeah. Yeah. THE TH EY aall ll start start laughing. laughing. ARTHUR ARTHUR looks looks at at BLOOM. BLOOM. BLOOM BLOOM ttakes akes the the hint. h in t. THEY BLOOM BLOOM Okay... cup. cup. Teacher's Teacher's lounge. lo u n g e . Okay... BLOOM eexits. x its . BLOOM MUSIC CUE UE 114: 4: MA MAYBE YBE IT COULD COULD BE BE MUSIC C ART ARTHUR HUR Wo Wow. w. THIS WHOLE ENTIRE DAY DA Y TH IS W HOLE ENTIRE FELT AN N AWFUL AWFUL D DREAM REAM FE LT LIKE L IK E A COULD WAKE AKE UP AND S START TART ANE ANEW W I WISH WISH I C OULD W AL ICE ALICE TH IS W HOLE ENTIRE ENTIRE DAY DA Y THIS WHOLE WR ECKED MY MY S ELF E STEEM WRECKED SELF ESTEEM I DON'T D O N 'T K NOW W HAT T OS AY O RD O! KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO! ART HUR ARTHUR THIS WAS AN AWFUL DAY TH IS W AS A NA W FU L D AY ALICE ALICE THIS WAS AN AWFUL DAY W FUL D AY TH IS W AS A NA ARTHUR ARTHUR BUT AS DID SEEM TD ID S EEM BU T BAD BAD A S IIT ALICE ALICE WAS DREAM REA M I WISH WISH IT W AS A D ARTHUR ART HUR 'CAUSE MET YOU IT WAS WAS WORTH WORTH IT ALL ALL 'C AUSE I M ET Y OU


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AL ICE ALICE (spoken) (sppoken) (s have a great and see see what what happens! happens! I have great mind mind to to wake wake up up and ART HUR ARTHUR LET' S BE BE OUR OUR O WN IINVENTION! NVENTION! LET'S OWN IN VENT A D REAM W ITH ME! ME! INVENT DREAM WITH WH AT S TARTED B ADLY C OULD END END GREAT, GREAT, YOU’ LL SE E! WHAT STARTED BADLY COULD YOU’LL SEE! CO ULD Y OU IINVENT NVENT A D REAMED U PD AY T HAT E NDS W IT H COULD YOU DREAMED UP DAY THAT ENDS WITH ME ME?? LO OK AT AT M E LOOK ME NOW WON'T WON'T YOU P LEASE G IV E M EY OUR H AND? PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR HAND? LET' S PRETEND PRETEND LET'S EV 'RYTHING W ILL BE BE F INE T OM ORROW . EV'RYTHING WILL FINE TOMORROW. TRY TR Y TO SEE SEE WHAT COULD BE WH AT C OULD B E STRANGE WONDERLAND, IF IN THIS THIS S TRANGE W ONDERLAND, FELT WE F ELT FREE FREE BE OR NOT TO BE WHAT OTHERS SEE. TO B EO RN OT T OB EW HAT O THERS CHOOSE CHOOSE TO S EE. During Du ring tthe he musical musical interlude, interlude, mirroring mirroring THEIR THE HEIIR earlier earlier scene, scene, ALICE ALICE punches punches ARTHUR ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR in in tthe he arm. arm. ART ARTH HUR feigns feigns like like HE HE is is going going to to hit hit her her back back “twice “twice as as hard,” hard,” but ends ends up ttweaking weak akiing ALICE’S ALICE’S nose nose instead. instead. ALICE ALICE smiles smiles and takes tak akees ARTHUR’s ARTH ART HUR’s hhand. and. AL ICE ALICE LOOK A TM E LOOK AT ME ALTHOUGH II’M ’M S CARED TA K IN G Y OUR H ALTHOUGH SCARED TAKING YOUR HAND. AND. I'LL BELIEVE BELIEVE I'LL WE'LL END END UP UP ““HAPPY HAPPY EVER EVER A FTER” WE'LL AFTER” CAN S EE I CAN SEE BE I COULD COULD B E BETTER WITH YOU, AB ETTER PERSON PERSON W IT H Y OU, COULD BE IC OULD B E THE GIRL YOU LOOK AT REFLECTED WHEN W HEN Y OU L OOK A T ME. ME. TH EG IRL I SEE SEE REFLECTED ARTHUR ARTHUR WISHFUL THINKING WAS ENOUGH I WISH WISH W ISHFUL T HINKING W AS E NOUGH ALICE ALICE I WISH COULD OVERCOME FEAR WISH I C OULD O VERCOME MY MY F EAR ARTHUR ARTHUR MAYBE WE'LL OUT THAT LOVE TOUGH MAYBE W E'LL FIND F IN D O UT T HAT L OVE IIS ST OUGH


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W O NWD OE NR DL EARNL DA NHD I HG IHG H AL ICE ALICE MA YBE IIT TW O N 'T L AST TH ROUGH S ENIOR Y EAR MAYBE WON'T LAST THROUGH SENIOR YEAR BO TH BOTH BU T, BUT, MA YBE IIT TC OULD B E MAYBE COULD BE YOU AND M E ME TO GETHER TOGETHER CO ULD IIT T BE COULD WE 'RE STRONG STRONG E NOUGH TO S EE THIS THIS THROUGH? THROUGH? WE'RE ENOUGH SEE LET' S BELIEVE BELIEVE LET'S WE 'LL CAN CAN BECOME BECOME OUR OUR O WN IINVENTION N V E N T IO N WE'LL OWN AND T HEY'LL S EE THEY'LL SEE YOU AND M E IIN N OUR O WN WO NDERLAND, ME OWN WONDERLAND, ART HUR ARTHUR YOU AGR EE? AGREE? AL ICE ALICE I AGREE! AGREE! BO TH BOTH IS N 'T T HIS W HAT F RIENDS IIN NL OVE W ERE MEANT MEANT TO BE? BE? ISN'T THIS WHAT FRIENDS LOVE WERE MA YBE IIF FW E BOTH BOTH D O WH AT F EELS RIGHT R IG H T MAYBE WE DO WHAT FEELS DR EAMS W E DR EAM C AN AC TUALLY T AKE F LIGHT DREAMS WE DREAM CAN ACTUALLY TAKE FLIGHT AND W EM IGHT WE MIGHT FI ND T HAT Y OU A ND M E FIND THAT YOU AND ME E OUGHT T OB TO BE TO GETHER. TOGETHER. THEY THEY THE TH EY kkiss. iss. TH THE EY eexit. x it. MU S IC C UE 114a: 4a: S CENE C HANGE: G IR L T ALK MUSIC CUE SCENE CHANGE: GIRL TALK

SCENE 55-- C A F E T O R IU M SCENE CAFETORIUM Al of the the CROQUET CROQUET PLAYERS PLAY AYERS ERS and and QUADRILLES, QUADRI RIL LLES ES,, except except for for SANDY SAN AND DY and and Alll of PAUL PAU L, are are in in the the cafetorium cafetorium putting putting up up decorations decorations for for the the Cotillion Cotillion Victory Victory PAUL, Da nce. There There is is a llarge arge arbor arbor tthat hat is is hhalf-decorated alf-decorated w ith white white roses roses and half half Dance. with with red red roses. roses. P arker aand nd Preston Preston have have paint paint brushes. brushes. with Parker Occasionally during during the the scene scene STUDENTS STUDE UDEN NTS enter enter and and diligently diligently place place pink pink ballots b a llo ts Occasionally in the the ballot ballot box. box.


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ALLISON AL L IS O N … aand nd oover ver here here will will be be the the arbor arbor with with the the RED RED roses. ro ses. SAN SA NDY rruns uns iinto nto tthe he room. room. SANDY SA NDY SANDY I'm I'm hhere! ere! I'm I'm hhere! ere! AL ICIA ALICIA You're You're llate. a te . DE E DEE DEE DEE And And tthis his is a very very important important date. date. PA RKER PARKER Hey, He y, don't don't ggoo splashing splashing paint paint over over me me like like that! th a t! PRESTON PR ESTO N I couldn't couldn't help help it. it. SANDY SA NDY Why Why are are they they painting painting the the roses roses red? re d ? ALLISON AL L IS O N change means means theme theme change. change. Our Our new new theme theme is is “FUNDERLAND!” Regime Regime change “FUNDERLAND!” SANDY SANDY Funderland? Funderland? PARKER PARKER "Allison's F underland." It It so unds so G erman. "Allison's Funderland." sounds German. ALICIA ALICIA It’s ggonna onna rock! rock! It’s ALLISON ALLISON ant it it to to look look like like a fun fun house. house. You down and and down down is is up, up, right right is is We w want You know, know, where where up up is is down left and and left left is right. left right. ALICIA ALICIA Right Ri ght is is left left and and left left is is right. rig h t. SANDY SANDY Wait. Wait. So, So, rright ight is up? up? DEE DEE DEE DEE And An d left left is... is ...


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ALLISON ALLISON Wr ong! Wrong! ALICIA ALICIA Th is iiss ridiculous! ridiculous! Can’t Can’t they they make make signs signs or or something? s o m e th in g ? This ALLISON AL L IS O N o sshow how yyou ou wh ere tthe he paints p a in ts That's Ask where great idea. idea. Sandy, Sandy, make make some some signs. signs. As k tthe he bboys oys tto That's a great and are. poster boards boards ar e. and poster over the the PA system. Loud Lo ud ffeedback eedback over s y s te m . PR INCIPAL C H E S H IR E PRINCIPAL CHESHIRE Hello, good good Kn ights. As yyou ou hhead ead home home with with your your heads heads full full of of Cotillion Cotillion which which is is Hello, Knights. tomorrow, one one final final reminder coming tomorrow, reminder that that you you only only have have until until 5:30 5:30 to to turn turn in in your your coming ballots. So, So, please please be be sure sure you you turn turn out out and and stop stop in in bbefore efore it turns turns late late and and you're y o u 'r e Cotillion Cotillion ballots. the ballot ballot box box in the the cafetorium cafetorium while while they they decorate. decorate. too too late. late. The The Quadrilles Quadrilles will will have have the Go Knights! K n ig h ts ! Remember, Remember, every every vote vote counts. counts. Go AL L IS O N ALLISON Dee Dee, Dee, you you man man the the ballot ballot box. box. Dee DE E DE E DEE DEE How? How? AL L IS O N ALLISON Th reprinted ballots ballots are are pink. pink. Just Just rremember, emember, if it’s it’s not not pink pink it doesn’t doesn���t go go in the the box. box. Thee ppreprinted SAN SA NDY and DEE DEE DEE DEE walk walk over over to to PARKER PARKER and PRESTON PREST STO ON who who are are busy busy SANDY House” mi making “Fun “Fun House” rrors oout ut ooff foil. fo il. making mirrors SANDY SANDY How do do yyou ou llike ike these these for for the the punch punch and and cookie cookie table? ta b le ? How SA SAN NDY hol ds up ssigns igns tthat hat read read "EAT "EAT ME" ME" and and "DRINK "DRINK ME". ME". PAUL PAUL enters. enters. SANDY holds PA UL PAUL Nice Ni ce invitations, invitations, Sandy. Sandy. SANDY SA NDY Thanks. Th anks. PAUL PA UL Hey He y gguys, uys, we nneed eed to to head head over over to to practice. p r a c tic e .


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AL L IS O N ALLISON (all (all oover ver HIM) HIM IM)) the Victory Victory sign. s ig n . Hi, Paul. You're Hi, P aul. Yo u're late. late. Help Help me me hang hang the PA UL PAUL can't. We We have have to to practice. practice. Al lison, I can't. Allison, AL L IS O N ALLISON Pr actice, schmack-tis. schmack-tis. I nneed eed yyour our hhelp elp here. h e re . Practice, PA UL PAUL Bu t, really... r e a lly ... But, AL L IS O N ALLISON Pa ul. Must M ust w chatter when when we we can can be be working? working? Help Help me me with with the the sign. s ig n . Paul. wee chatter PAUL m oves to to hhelp elp ALLISON ALLISON hang hang the the sign. sign. ALLISON ALLISON hands hands her PAUL moves her end end ttoo ALICIA and ALICIA and moves moves on. on. BARKER BA RKER (a sshout) h o u t) Williams! Williams! PAUL PAUL qquickly uickly responds. responds. All All BOYS BOYS move move to to attention. a tte n tio n . PAUL PA UL Coach! Coach! BARKER BA RKER The The ppitch itch sits sits empty empty and and you're you're playing As Rover Rover of of the playing craft craft fair! fair! As the team team you you need need to to show show some some leadership. leadership. Games Games aren't aren't won won by by lollygagging. lo lly g a g g in g . PAUL PA UL Sorry, Sorry, ccoach! oach! It's It's just just that that Allison... A llis o n ... BARKER BA RKER Let's think a little little less less about about girls, girls, and and concentrate concentrate a little little more more on on the the game. game. Let's Let's go! go! Le t's think (BOYS (B OYS look look at at the the GIRLS GIRLS and and hesitate) h e s ita te ) Now! No w! The BOYS The B OYS rrun un ooff. ff. ALLISON ALLISON (to BARKER) (to B ARKER) I'm go to practice, practice, I I'm ssorry, orry, Coach Coach Barker. Barker. If Paul Paul had had said said anything anything about about needing needing to go would would have have sent sent him him there there immediately. im m e d ia te ly .


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W O NWDOE NRDLEARNL DA N HD I HG IHG H ALLISON stops Th THER GIRLS G GIIRLS m ove to pprotest. rotest. A look look from from ALLISON sto top ps T TH HEM . Thee O OTHER move THEM.

BA RKER BARKER make his his own own choices. c h o ic e s . Mi ss Couri, Couri, Mr. Mr. W illiams can can make Miss Williams ((BARKER) BARKER) rosses aand nd pputs uts a ppink ink ballot ballot slip slip in the takes (A SSTUDENT TUDENT ccrosses the ballot ballot box. box. BARKER BARKER takes last look look and sees sees the the sign sign and ballot ballot box - to ALLISON) A L L IS O N ) one last for tomorrow? Yo u've bbeen een ooverseeing verseeing the the voting voting for tomorrow? You've AL L IS O N ALLISON It 's aall ll iin n check. check. My My crowning crowning tomorrow tomorrow will will be be picture picture perfect. perf rfeect. It's other GIRLS BARKER exits. exits. The The other GIRLS turn turn on on A L L IS O N . BARKER ALLISON. SA NDY SANDY Ho w ccould ould yyou ou ddoo that? th a t? How ALLISON ALLISON a t? Do wh what? DEE DE E DEE DEE u jjust ust tthrew hrew Paul Paul uunder nder tthe he bus. bus. Yo You AL L IS O N ALLISON So So.. SA NDY SANDY Yo u llied ied to to C oach Barker. B a rk e r. You Coach AL L IS O N ALLISON Pe ople lie lie all all of of the the time. tim e . People SA NDY SANDY d o n 't. I don't. ALLISON ALLISON That's to lie. lie . That's because because you're you're too too dumb dumb to DEE DEE DEE DEE Hey, watch Hey, wa tch it! it! SANDY SANDY That’s That’s it, it, I'm I'm leaving. le a v in g . ALLISON ALLISON You You can't can't leave. leave. You You have have to to help help finish finish decorating. decorating. You’re You’re dumber dumber than than a dodo. dodo.


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stung. SANDY SAN SA NDY ffalters, alters, stung. DEE DE E DEE DEE (crossing to to SSANDY) A AN NDY) Y) (crossing C'mon S andy. L et's ggo. o. C'mon Sandy. Let's THE TH EY sstart THEY tart oout. u t. ALLISON ALLISON If yyou won't court! You're You're banished! banished! ou leave, leave, you you w on't be be a part part of of my my court! (SANDY (SA (S AN A NDY aand nd DEE DEE DEE DEE ppause, ause, then then exit exit - to HERSELF) H HE ERSELF) Who Who needs needs tthem. hem . (to ALICIA (to A LIC ICIA IA who who has has bbeen een silent) s ile n t) Alicia! Alicia! I have have a job job for for you! you! Get Get the the ballot ballot box. box. ALICIA ALICIA (bringing (bringing tthe he box) box) What do you you want want me me to to do? do? What do ALLISON ALLISON (producing (producing a bag bag of of ppink, ink, pre-printed pre-printed ballots) ballots) Put Put these these into into the the box. box. ALICIA ALICIA But, Bu t, it's it's ssupposed upposed tto o be be one one ballot ballot per per student. s tu d e n t. ALLISON ALLISON So?? N No So o oone's ne's aaround. round. IIt’s t’s iin n tthe the box, box, Alicia. A lic ia . he Code... Code... stuff stuff the ALICIA ALICIA Allison, Al lison, I'm I'm sure sure tthat hat vote-rigging vote-rigging is is NOT NOT a part part of tthe he Wonderland Wonderland Code. Code. ALLISON ALLISON It's It 's a new new subsection. s u b s e c tio n . ALICIA ALICIA Allison, ballots available. available. Why Why cheat? c h e a t? Allison, these these were were the the only only ballots ALLISON ALLISON Because Because I can! can! I want want this this to to be be the the biggest biggest landslide landslide in in the the history history of of the the school! s c h o o l! ALICIA ALICIA I've I've backed backed you you up up on on a lot lot of of things, things, but but I really really can't... can't...

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I said, said, "Stuff it, A licia!" "Stuff it, Alicia!" (ALIC ICIA IA drops drops tthe he ballots ballots on on the the floor fflloor and and exits. exits. ALLISON ALLISON is is left left alone, alone, sitting s ittin g (ALICIA ballots into he floor, fflloor, stuffing stuf uffffiing ballots into the the box) box) on tthe Losers! Lo sers! I've I've got got to to get get this this box box to to Barker! Barker! One One more more vote, vote, just just one more more vote! vote! Losers! Losers! MUSIC CUE SCENE ME UE 14b: 14b: S CENE CHANGE: CHANGE: HATE HATE M E MU S IC C SC ENE 6 – S SCENE SCHOOL STORE CHOOL S TORE ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR and and ALICE ALICE walk up ttoo the the bookstore bookstore as ATT T, MARIANNE MARI ARIAN ANN AN NE and walk up as KATT, KAT and boxes out HARRY HA RRY aare re ccarrying arrying boxes out of of the the bookstore/closet bookstore/closet door. door. ARTHUR ART HUR Hi,, guys. Hi guys. ALICE AL ICE What Wh boxes? at are are you you doing doing with with all all these these boxes? KATT KA TT Marianne Ma rianne is is expanding expanding the the business business again. a g a in . MARIANNE MA R IA N N E (indicating (indicating her her head) head) I fell fell off off the the ladder ladder and and knocked knocked a hole hole in in the the wall wall with with my my noggin. n o g g in . KATT KATT an entire entire extra extra room room with Shee found found an with nothing nothing in in it it but but a few few old old boxes boxes of of junk. junk. Sh HARRY HARRY hat’s really really using using your your head, Wow! That’s Wow! T head, Marianne! M a ria n n e ! HARRY MARIANNE HARRY and and M A R IA AN NNE laugh laugh and and snort. snort. MARRIANNE M A R R IA AN NNE gets gets excited excited and and nervous, drops nervous, sshe he dr ops a box and sspills pills tthe he ccontents ontent ntss all all over over the the floor. fflloor. ALICE ALICE Here, let me me help help you. you. He re, let ALICE down AL ICE bends bends dow n to to help help pick pick up the the items items that that spilled spilled out of the the box. box. ARTHUR ART HUR (finding (f (fi inding a sealed sealed metal metal box) box) Hey, He y, llook ook at at this. this. This This box box says says "time "time capsule" capsule" on on it. it. KATT KATT Let's then Let's look look in in it it - th en we we can can either either turn turn it over over to Cheshire, Cheshire, or or seal seal it back back up up and and bury bury it!


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moment, then attacks the the lock, lock, ultimately ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR thinks thinks ffor or a moment, then attacks ultimatel elyy twisting twisting it it off. o ff. HA RRY HARRY Lo ok! It's It's full full of of stuff stuff from from around around the the time time the the school school was was built. b u ilt. Look! KA TT KATT I guess guess tthat's c a p s u le ." why h a t's w hy iit's t's ccalled alled a "time "time capsule." ART HUR ARTHUR Co o l. Cool. ld yyearbook. earbook. KATT KATT iiss paging paging through through aann oold MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Th ose were were some some wild wild hairdos hairdos in in the the '70's. '70's. And, And, what's what's this? th is ? Those HARRY HA RRY It looks looks llike ike a dog dog whistle, whistle, but but it's it's gold. g o ld . ARTHUR ART HUR Let Let me me see see it. it. Huh, Huh, I wonder wonder why why they they put put a dog dog whistle whistle in in the the time time capsule. c a p s u le . HARRY HA RRY Weird. Weird. (pulling (pulling out out a piece piece of of typed typed mimeograph mimeograph paper) p ap er) Look at Look x-ray ppaper aper oorr something! s o m e th in g ! at this. this. It's It's like like some some sort sort of x-ray MARIANNE MA R IA N N E (enraptured) (e n r a p tu r e d ) Harry! Careful! Harry! C That's a mimeograph! m im e o g r a p h ! areful! That's ALICE AL ICE Mimeograph? Mimeograph? MARIANNE MA R IA N N E (handling (h andling tthe he mimeograph mimeograph llike ike a priceless priceless artifact) a r tifa c t) A pre-cursor pecial stencil stencil made made from from by Thomas Thomas Edison. Edison. A sspecial pre-cursor to to photocopies, photocopies, invented invented by waxed piece of of paper paper attached attached to to the the top, top, was was inserted inserted into in to a waxed mulberry mulberry paper, paper, with with a plain plain piece typewriter typewriter and and the the typed typed letters letters would would etch etch the the stencil. stencil. The The stencil stencil would would then then be be placed placed on a drum drum to to make make multiple multiple copies copies in... in... (savoring (s avoring tthis) his) purple pur ple ink! ink! ARTHUR ART HUR Cann you Ca you read read iit? t?


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to the the light) (SH (S HE hholds olds it it up up to lig h t) (SHE "T he oode de ooff Wonderland" Wonderland" "The AL ICE ALICE It 's tthe he ooriginal riginal stencil stencil of of the the words words to to our our school school song! song! It's HA RRY HARRY something else else in (f (fi inding something in the the box) box) (finding ok aatt this! this! It It must must be be the the original original typed the mimeo-thingy. typed cover cover sheet sheet for for the mimeo-thingy. Lo Look MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Co o l! Cool! ART HUR ARTHUR (c omparing the page to to the the stencil) s te n c il) the ccover over page (comparing see anything anything strange? s tra n g e ? it! Look Look at at the the top. top. Do Do you you see Wa Wait! AL ICE ALICE there’s an an extra extra space space in in front front of It looks looks llike ike a typo. typo. On On the the stencil, stencil, there’s of "Ode." " O d e ." ART HUR ARTHUR Bu look at at the the cover cover page… page… there’s there’s no no extra extra space. space. There’s There’s a faint faint “C.” “C.” Butt look HA RRY HARRY Th at's weird. w e ird . That's ART HUR ARTHUR No didn’t cut cut through through the the stencil. stencil. It’s he ““C” C” oonn the the typewriter typewriter didn’t It’s not not “The “The Ode Ode of of No.. T The Wo nderland” at at all, all, it’s… it’s… it’s… it’s … Wonderland” KA TT KATT (dubiously) (d (du u b io u s ly ) "The "T he Code Code of of Wonderland." Wonderland." ALICE AL ICE Thee Wonderland Th Wonderland Code? Code? Really? R e a lly ? HARRY HA RRY It’s really It ’s re ally a code? code? MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Zoinks! Doo!” Zo inks! It’s It’s so so ““Scooby Scooby D o o !”


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ART HUR ARTHUR he ssong ong ggo? o? How's How's tthe (t he O THERS start start singing singing "The "The Ode O de O W o n d e r la n d ) (the OTHERS Off Wonderland) sing ""Ode." Ode." No! S ing ""Code" Code" wh ere you you normally normally sing No! Sing where (TH (T HEY ddo. o. ARTHUR ARTHUR rretrieves etrieves tthe he dog dog whistle) whistle) (THEY "W hen tthe he golden golden horn horn is is blown, blown, the the true true heart heart of of Wonderland Wonderland will will be be shown." shown." Maybe Maybe "When th is is the the golden golden horn. h o rn . this KATT KATT (doubtful) (dooubtful) (d It's It 's a dog dog whistle. w h is tle . ALICE ALICE But But it's it's ggold. old. Blow Blow iitt Arthur! A rth u r! KATT KA TT of Wonderland? Wonderland? " What What if if No! Wait! Aree yyou want to to reveal reveal "the "the true true heart heart of No! W ait! Ar ou ssure ure that that we want zombies swarming swarming it’s likee "the omething. I don't don't need need disembodied disembodied zombies it’s lik "the Monkey's Monkey's Paw" Paw" or or ssomething. around me! around m e! MARIANNE MA R IA N N E Thee song luck. I think think it's it's safe. sa fe . Th song hhas as aalways lways bbrought rought good good luck. ARTHUR ARTHUR Should Sh ould I bblow low it it or or nnot? o t? ALICE ALICE Blow Blow iit! t! ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR blows No sound sound is is heard. heard. KATT KAT ATT T is is preparing preparing for for the blows tthe he whistle. whistle. No the worst. w o r s t. Nothing Nothing happens. happens. Then Then STAN STA AN N walks walks up up to to the the bookstore. bookstore. THEY THEY pay pay no no attention a tte n tio n to SSTAN. TA AN. N. ALICE ALICE (to (to SSTAN) TA AN N) Hey, Stan. He y, S ta n . STAN STAN (stunned (s tunned tthat hat ALICE ALIC ICE E would would talk talk to to HIM) HIM IM)) Hi... Hi... uhm... uhm... Alice. Alice. What's What's going going oon? n? ALICE ALICE Oh, Oh, Marianne Marianne found found an an old old whistle whistle and, and, well... well... HARRY HARRY It's It 's supposed supposed ttoo ssummon ummon tthe he "heart "heart of of Wonderland." Wonderland."


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Cool. Cool. MA R IA N N E MARIANNE Blow iitt again! a g a in ! Blow ARTH ART HUR looks looks at at KATT. KAT ATT T. ARTHUR KATT KATT What the the hell. hell. Blow Blow it it again. a g a in . What ARTH ART HUR blows blows tthe he whistle whistle again. again. N othing happens. few MORE MORE STUDENTS STUDENTS happens. A few ARTHUR Nothing appear at tthe he bookstore. booksstore. book appear MATT MATT What's happening? h a p p e n in g ? What's ST AN STAN heart of of Wonderland." W o n d e r la n d ." The new new kid kid is is summoning summoning "the "the heart The MATT MATT Blow iit, t, again, again, New New Kid! K id ! Blow ALICE ALICE His nname ame is is Ar th u r . His Arthur. FEW MORE MORE STUDENTS, STUDENTS, IINCLUDING N C L U D IN G S TAN A FEW STAN Bl ow it it again, again, A rthur! Blow Arthur! ARTH ART HUR shrugs shrugs aand lows aagain. g a in . M ORE STUDENTS STUDEN ENT TS aarrive. r r iv e . T here iiss sstarting ta r tin g nd bblows ARTHUR MORE There be a crowd. crow d. to be ARTHUR ARTHUR I guess guess iitt is is jjust ust a middle-aged middle-aged wives wives tale. tale. KATT KA TT (who (w ho hhas as bbeen een ttaking aking in the surroundings) s u r r o u n d in g s ) in the Wait! Wait! (to (to SSTAN) TA AN N) Stan, Stan, why why are are you you here? h e re ? STAN STAN You You mean mean "cosmically "cosmically speaking?" speaking?" KATT KA TT No!! Why No Why are are you you at at the the bookstore? bookstore? What What do do you you need? need?


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STAN STAN Well, ll, nothing nothing really. really. I just just felt felt a need need to to stop stop by. by. We KA TT KATT (addressing tthe he KIDS) KIDS) (addressing Do aany ny ooff yyou ou need need anything anything from from the the bookstore? b o o k s to r e ? (there of "no") "n o ") (there is is a general general consensus consensus of Do an anyy of why of you you know know w hy you're you're hhere? ere? (again, (a gain, ""no" no" - to ALICE ALICE and and the the OTHERS) O TH ERS) Don't Don't yyou ou see... s e e ... ALICE AL ICE Arthur! Arthur! IIt's t's tthe he kids! k id s ! HARRY HA RRY Oh, my... Oh, m y ... MARIANNE MARIANNE They're They're the the "heart" "heart" of of Wonderland... W o n d e r la n d ... ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR is is ddoubtful. oubtful. Blows Blows the the whistle whistle one one more more time. time. KIDS KIDS arrive arrive from from all all over. over. ALICE ALICE Talk to them, them, Arthur. A rth u r. Ta lk to ARTHUR ART HUR Hi,, everyone. everyone. My My name's name's Arthur. Arthur. Hi KIDS KI DS Hi,, Arthur. Arthur. Hi KATT megaphone. KATT pproduces rodu ces a m egaphone. ARTHUR ARTHUR (into (into the the megaphone) m egaphone) Hi. Hi. (haltingly) (haltingly) I know many most of of the the time time it's it's easier easier to not a part part of of a team. team. And And most know m any of of you you are are probably probably not just just make make yourself yourself invisible invisible and and not not make make a noise. n o is e . FW ONDERLAND – VOC AL UNDE RSCORE MUSIC MUSIC C CUE UE 14C: 14C : O ODE DE O OF WONDERLAND VOCAL UNDERSCORE egin humming h u m m in g “ KID KI KIDS DS bbegin “Ode Ode Of Of Wonderland” Wonderland” ssoftly oftly under under the the speech. sp eech . ART HUR ARTHUR But, I’m I’m here here to to tell tell you... you... you you are are the the heart heart of of Wonderland Wonderland High. High. And And if if you you ccan an find find the the But, spirit within within you you to to stand stand up up for for what what is is right right and and what what you you believe believe in, in, then then anything anything is is spirit


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((ARTHUR) ARTHUR) possible. pos sible. And... And... and... and... ARTH ART HUR finds ffiinds himself himself at at a loss loss for for words. words. ALICE ALICE takes takes the the megaphone megaphone from fr o m ARTHUR HIM HI M. HIM. AL ICE ALICE have to to ffo ollow rrules The Heart The follow Heart of of Wonderland, Wonderland, doesn't doesn't have ules that that were were created created by by other other students students keep you to keep you in your your place. place. That That is nonsense. nonsense. Stand Stand together together and and let let your your collective collective voices voices be he heard. ard. and takes A cheer cheer goes goes up. up. ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR has has composed composed himself himself and takes back back the the megaphone. m egaphone. ART HUR ARTHUR You ddon't on't hhave ave to to bbow ow ddown own to the the rules rules of of the the popular! popular! The The Heart Heart of of Wonderland Wonderland can can You say, more!" say, "No "No m o re !" KIDS KIDS No m more! o re! ARTHUR ARTHUR You You ddon't on't hhave ave to to uuse se pre-printed pre-printed ballots. ballots. The The Heart Heart of Wonderland Wonderland can can say, say, "We "We have have a voice!" voice!" Let Let your voices voices be heard! heard! THE THE STUDENTS STU TUD DENTS hhave ave been been responding. responding. MATT MATT ssteps teps fforward orward and grabs grabs tthe he megaphone. me gaphone. MATT MATT (leading (leading a cheer) ch eer) Arthur! Ya y, Al ic e ! Yay, Yay, Alice! Yay, Arthur! AL L ALL Arthur! Ya y, Al ic e ! Yay, Yay, Alice! Yay, Arthur! LIGHTS ARTHUR LI GHTS cchange hange and and focus focus on on A RTHUR aass sscene cene ffreezes. reezes. ARTHUR ARTHUR addresses addresses tthe he audience. audi ence. ARTHUR ART HUR Well, felt so at me. me. I'm I'm huge. huge. so ssmall. mall. Now, Now, look look at We ll, this this is is a change. change. This This morning, morning, I felt LIGHTS eturn tto o nnormal ormal aass sscene LI GHTS rreturn cene rresumes. esum es. MATT MA TT Katt, Ka tt, I think think we'd we'd all all like like new new Votie-slips, Votie-slips, pplease! lease! ALL KIDS CHEER AL LK ID S C HEER aand nd bbegin egin ttoo swarm swarm tthe he bookstore. b o o k s to r e . MUSIC CUE THE HEART OF WONDERLAND 5: T HE H EART O FW ONDERLAND MU S IC C UE 115:


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KATT KATT Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! HARRY HARRY (indicating (i ndicating the the time time capsule capsule box) box) Place Pl ace your your ballots ballots in in here. h e re . KIDS file writing new new ballots ballots and and placing placing them them in KI KID DS ffi ile up up writing in the the box box as as the the lights lights dim. d im . STUDENTS ST UDENTS I’LL USE MY VOICE I’L LU SE M YV OICE I’LL MAKE CHOICE I’L LM AKE A C HOICE I’LL DECIDE FOR ME I’L LD ECIDE WHAT WHAT RULES RULES ARE ARE RIGHT R IG H T F OR M E MY VOICE AND WITH W IT H M Y VOI CE I’LL VOICE CHOICE I’L LV OICE MY MY C HOICE ABOUT THE WAY THINK THE WORLD SHOULD BE HOULD B E AB OUT T HE W AY I T HINK T HE W ORLD S ALL ALL WONDERLAND HOPE AW ONDERLAND OF HOP E POSSIBILITY AND P OSSIBILITY WONDERLAND WITH HEART AW ONDERLAND W ITH HE ART THE CHOICE UP TH EC HOICE IS IS U P TO ME VOICE THAT RINGS WITH HOPE HAT R INGS W ITH H OPE A VOI CE T THE WAY MEANT TO THE W AY IIT’S T’S M EANT T O BE BE HEART THAT CHOICE A HE ART T HAT HAS A C HOICE WONDERLAND THAT’S FREE. AW ONDERLAND T HAT’S FR EE. SCENE CAFETORIUM THE SC ENE 7 – C A F E T O R IU M – T HE NEXT NEXT DAY DAY MUSIC C UE 115A: 5A : L OBSTER BALL BALL DANCE DANCE ##1 MUSIC CUE LOBSTER 1 (UNDERSCORE) (UNDERSCORE) As tthe he dance dance starts, starts, the the CROQUET CROQUET PLAYERS PLAY AYERS ERS and and QUADRILLES QUADRI RIL LLES enter enter arm arm in in arm arm in in their their rrespective espective couples. couples. They The heyy should should have have white white gloves gloves and fans. fans. They They pause while pause by the the arbor arbor of red red roses roses w hile a STUDENT STUDENT PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHER ssnaps naps pictures. The are dancing. pi ctures. T he band is is playing playing and some some KIDS KIIDS are K dancing. HARRY HARRY is is standing standing SANDY, ALICIA offf to of to the the side, side, waiting waiting anxiously. anxiously. SA SAN NDY, DEE DEE DEE DEE and A LICIA enter enter with w ith PARKER PARK ER and and PRESTON. PRESTON. The The BOYS BOYS look look dejected. d e je c te d . DEE DEE DE E DE E sorry I’m so rry yyou ou gguys uys llost ost the the match. m a tc h . PARKER PA RKER Thanks, Th anks, Dee. D ee.


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AL ICIA ALICIA It 's all No one one could could concentrate concentrate with with all all of of her her screaming screaming and and nagging. n a g g in g . a ll A llison's ffault. ault. No It's Allison's SA NDY SANDY I didn't didn't eeven ven know know yyou ou could could do do a one one woman woman routine routine like like that. th a t. PA RKER PARKER completely forgot ffo orgot the Yeah. P the Dodgson Dodgson kid kid was was poison. poison. It It was w as aul was was so so ddistracted, istracted, he he completely Yeah. Paul sad. sad. PRESTON PRESTON s u ic id e . was suicide. suicide. Croquet Croquet suicide. It was DE E DE E DEE DEE Does aanyone nyone else else feel feel weird weird having having the the Victory Victory Dance Dance after after losing losing the the game? gam e? Does ALLISON aand nd PAU PAUL L eenter nter aand nd pause pause bbyy the the arbor arbor for for a picture. p ic tu r e . ALLISON SANDY SANDY being crowned crowned Lobster keeps her her from from being I hope hope that that changing changing our our votes votes keeps Lobster Queen. Q ueen. DE E DE E DEE DEE Sandy, sshh! hh! I told told you you that that we we couldn't couldn't tell tell anyone anyone that that we we did did that! th a t! Sandy, PRESTON PRESTON Woot! I put put something something in in that that metal metal time time capsule capsule thingy thingy too. to o . Woot! PARKER PARKER voted for Alice and and A rthur. for Alice I voted Arthur. ALICIA ALICIA What?! What?! PRESTON PRESTON You know, know, in in a wa y it it was was very very freeing. f r e e in g . You way PARKER PARKER ffrreeing… like like switching switching from ffrrom briefs briefs to boxers. b o x ers. I know. know. I did did iitt too! too! It was was vvery ery freeing… ALICIA ALICIA Gross. Really? Gross. R e a lly ? (THEY ALL (TH (T HEY A LL giggle giggle together) to g e th e r ) I can’t can’t believe believe we we all all changed changed our our vote! v o te ! DEE DEE DEE DEE Alicia! Alicia! You You changed changed your your vote vote too? to o ?


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AL ALLISON LISON aand nd PAU PAUL L hhave come up up behind behind ALICIA. ALICIA. ALLISON ALLISON overhears overhears ave come ALICIA. AL ICIA. ALICIA ALICIA Of ccourse, ourse, I did…. d id … . (SH (S HE tturns (SHE urns and and sees sees ALLISON) ALLISON) …n’t. Didn’t. Off course, …n ’ t. D id n ’ t. O course, I didn’t. d id n ’ t. ALLISON AL L IS O N Didn’t Didn’t what? what? PAUL PA UL (still (s till dejected) d e je c te d ) Hi, guys… Hi, guys … OTHERS OTHERS Hi,, Paul. Hi P a u l. ALLISON ALLISON Didn’t what?! Di dn’t what?! ALICIA ALICIA Didn’t Di dn’t know know that that there there was was such such a marginal marginal difference difference between between kings kings and and cabbages. cabbages. (too P PARKER) (t ARKER) C’mon, C’ mon, Parker, Parker, let’s let’s dance. dance. ALICIA, move AL ICIA, PRESTON, PRESTON, and and the the GANG GANG m ove away away from from ALLISON. ALLISON. PAU PAUL L sstarts tarts to to follow. follow. OBSTER BALL BALL DANCE DANCE ##22 (UNDERSCORE) MU S IC C UE 115B: 5B : L (UNDERSCORE) MUSIC CUE LOBSTER AL L IS O N ALLISON (stopping PAUL) (s to p p in g P AUL) Wh ere do do you you think think you’re you’re going? g o in g ? Where PAUL PA UL Ourr friends friends are… Ou a re … ALLISON AL L IS O N Ourr friends Ou friends are are all all going going to to cheer cheer when when I’m I’m crowned crowned Lobster Lobster Queen. Queen. You You need need to to stop s to p moping mo ping about. a b o u t. PAUL PA UL (truly (t ruly trying trying tto o make make it it better) better) Sorry. Sorry. II'm 'm jjust ust a little little depressed. depressed. I mean mean losing losing the the first first Lobster Lobster Bowl Bowl in in the the history history of of the th e school. school.


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ALLISON ALLISON We ll, think think of of how how humiliating humiliating this m e! this is is for for me! Well, PA UL PAUL (w anting to to leave) le a v e ) (wanting I' m ggonna onna gget et some some punch. punch. I'm ALLISON ALLISON I' d llove ove ssome, ome, tthanks hanks ffor or asking. asking. I'd next is is almost almost a threat) th r e a t) (seeing HIS HIS unhappiness, unhappiness, tthe he next (seeing We 're ssticking ticking together. together. They're They're going going to to announce announce our our coronation coronation soon. soon. At At least least I'll I'll have have We're th at. that. unch ttable. able. ARTHUR ART PAUL and PAUL and AL L IS O N m ove tto o the the ppunch ARTH HUR enters enters and and heads heads over over to to ALLISON move HARRY. HARRY. HA RRY HARRY Wh ere are are the the girls? g irls ? Where ART HUR ARTHUR Th ey’re right right behind behind me. m e. They’re AL ICE and and M ARI ARIAN ANN AN NE enter. enter. MARIANNE MARI ARIAN ANN AN NE rushes rushes over over to to HARRY. HARRY ARRY.. ALICE MARIANNE MA R IA N N E MARIANNE (n errvvously) (nervously) Hi Harry. Hi,, Harry. HA RRY HARRY Mari... Ma ri... Marianne. Marianne. Hi. H i. Mari... Mari... (t aking in in the the sight) s ig h t) (taking You llook... o o k ... You MARIANNE MARIANNE (trying (t rying to to help) h e lp ) Simple? Si mple? Bookish? Bookish? IIntelligent? ntelligent? HARRY HA RRY (enraptured) (enraptured) Beautiful! Beautiful! Like Like a princess. p rin c e s s . MARIANNE MARIANNE (relieved) (relieved) Oh, Stop. Look My white white knight. k n ig h t. Oh, Harry! Harry! S to p . L ook at at you. you. My COACH BARKER COACH B ARKE KER R and and BLOOM BLOOM eenter, nter, followed followed by by KATT KATT and and some some more more KIDS. KID KI D S. THEY metal THE TH EY aare re ccarrying arrying tthe he m etal "Time "Time Capsule" Capsule" box box and and ALLISON's ALLISON's bballot allot box. box. KATT moves KATT m oves tto o ALICE ALICE aand nd ARTHUR. ARTH UR.


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HA RRY HARRY Uh, Doctor and Coach Coach Barker Barker with with the the box. box. Uh, oh. oh. Here's Here's ccomes omes Do ctor Bloom Bloom and ARTHUR ART HUR It’s It’s so so ffunny unny ttoo hear hear you you say, say, “Doctor “Doctor Bloom.” B lo o m .” HARRY HA RRY Why? Why? ARTHUR ART HUR Well, Well, because, because, “Doctor “Doctor Bloom’s” Bloom’s” my… m y… KATT KATT rrushes ushes uup, p, iinterrupting. nterru ruppting. KATT KA TT Both counted, assuming assuming they they can can Both Bloom Bloom and and Barker Barker agreed agreed that that the the new new ballots ballots should should be be counted, validate validate they're they're true! true! ALICE AL ICE Allison I wonder wonder hhow ow A llison will will react react to to the the new new ballot ballot box. box. KATT KA TT Maybe Ma ybe hher er hhead ead will will pop pop off. o ff. ARTHUR ARTHUR How How are are tthey hey going going to to validate validate them? them? BLOOM silences the the band band as start to to BL OOM silences as COACH COAC ACH H BARKER BARKER steps steps center. center. KIDS KIDS start gather. gather. BARKER BARKER May May I hhave ave your your attention, attention, please? please? It's It's time time to to announce announce your your choice choice for for Lobster Lobster King K in g and and Queen. Queen. (ALICE HARRY MARIANNE (A LIC ICE E and and ARTHUR ARTHUR hold hold hands. hands. H ARRY and and M ARIA IAN NNE move move over over to to them) them) There seemed to to be be some some confusion confusion this this year year over over the the voting voting and and we've we've ended ended up up with w ith Th ere seemed two tw o bballot allot boxes. box es. ALLISON AL L IS O N Coach. Coach. I believe believe the the cardboard cardboard box box is is the the official official ballot ballot box. box. BARKER BA RKER Actually, which Actually, Miss Miss Couri, Couri, there there is is no no "official" "official" box. box. We We need need to to validate v a lid a te w hich box box contains contains the student votes, votes, and and then, then, those those students students who who may may have have placed placed their their ballots ballots in the the the most most student other will ot her box w ill have have a chance chance to to vote vote again. again.


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BLO OM BLOOM Everyone who who wants wants their their ballot ballot in in the the metal metal time time capsule capsule to to count, count, please please raise raise your your Everyone hands. hands. A LLISON ALLISON You aall ll put put ballots ballots in in my my box! box! If If you you didn't didn't I put put them them there there for for you! you! You ALLISON iiss ggiving threatening look. look. No No one one raises raises their their hand. hand. iving everyone everyone a threatening ALLISON BLOOM BLOOM Anyone? Anyone? ST STA AN A N steps steps forward forward and rraises aises his his hand. T hen M A R IA AN NNE. Then Then H ARRY. Then Then STAN Then MARIANNE. HARRY. KA TT aand nd A RTHUR and ALICE. ALICE. Soon eeveryone veryone is is following following suit, suit, including including the the KATT ARTHUR QUA DRILLES aand nd tthe he K KN NIGHT GHTS S. QUADRILLES KNIGHTS. ALLISON ALLISON No No.. No No.. No No!! (P AUL puts puts his his hhand and uup p - to HIM) H HIIM) (PAUL PU TY OUR H AND D OWN! PUT YOUR HAND DOWN! PAUL pputs PAUL uts his his hhand and ddown. own. Then Then puts puts iitt up up again, again, moving moving towards towards his his friends. fr ie n d s . BLO OM BLOOM (l ooking around) around) (looking An d wh o wa nts ttheir heir vvote ote in in the the cardboard cardboard box box to to count? c o u n t? And who wants which goes ALL H AN AND DS ggoo ddown, own, eexcept xcept for for ALLISON's, ALLISON's, which goes up. up. ALL HANDS BA RKER BARKER That settles settles it. it. The The metal metal Time Time Capsule Capsule results results will will be be used. used. Miss Miss Couri, Couri, would would you you like lik e That ontribute your your vote vote to the the score. sc o re . to ccontribute ALLISON ALLISON (summoning much (s ummoning aass m uch ddignity ignity as as she she ccan) an) Of ccourse. o u rse . (ALLISON (A LLISON rreaches eaches iin n tthe he ccardboard ardboard bbox, pink ballot ballot and and hands hands it ox, ppulls ulls out out a pink it to to DR.. BLOOM) DR BLOOM OOM)) Preprinted, Preprinted, like like the the rest. rest. I have have all all confidence confidence in in the the system. s y s te m . BLOOM BLOOM (pulling (pulling out out a piece piece of of paper) p ap er) The The results results have have been been tallied tallied by Coach Coach Barker Barker and and myself, myself, and and I'm I'm happy happy to to announce announce that this Cotillion that th is year’s y e a r’s C otillion King King and and Queen Queen are... are... MUSIC MU S IC C CUE UE 115C: 5C: DRUM DRUM RO ROLL LL


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as ggrabbed rabbed PAU who iiss ALLISON moving COACH AL LISON hhas PAUL L aand nd iiss m oving ttowards ow ards C OAC ACH H BARK BARKER ER who holding the the crown. crown. ALICE ALICE and ARTHUR ARTHUR look look eexpectantly xpectantly as as well. well. holding BLOOM BLOOM (pleasantly (p leasantly surprised) s u r p r is e d ) Harrison Karnickel Ancella! Ha rrison Ka rnickel and and Marianne Marianne Ancella! A cheer cheer goes goes up. up. ARTHUR ARTH ART HUR and and ALICE, ALICE, surprised, surprised, but but happy happy for for their their friends. fr ie n d s . MARIANNE MARIA AN NNE is is in in shock. shock. HARRY HARRY is is thrown thrown for for a moment, moment, but but starts starts waving waving and and shaking sh aking hands. hands. ALLISON AL L IS O N What! Wh at! No! No! I won't won't be be denied! d e n ie d ! ALLISON COACH AL LISON ggrabs rom C OAC ACH H BARK BARKER. ER. rabs tthe he ccrown rown ffrom PAUL PA UL Allison, Al lison, stop! stop! It's It's ookay! kay!

ALLISON ALLISON Mine! Mi ne! Mine! Mine! This This is is mine! mine! I’m I’m the the QUUEEEEEEEEN! QUUEEEEEEEEN! KATT KA TT I knew knew it! it! Her Her hhead ead popped popped off! o ff! MARIANNE HER. MARIA AN NNE runs Stage Right. Rig igh ht. HARRY H HA ARRY ffollows, fol ollows, sstops tops and ccomforts omfforts H om ER. runs Down Down Stage MATT ALLISON. MATT approaches app roaches A L L IS O N . MATT MATT Hey, Noisy Hey, you. you. No isy llady. ady. ALLISON A L L IS O N What? Wh a t? MATT MATT Whyy iiss yyour desk? Wh our raving raving like like a writing writing desk? APRIL APRIL MAY MAY Yes! Yes! Ye s! Ye s! Why Why is is yyour our rraving aving like like a writing writing desk? desk? DORA DORA Can Can you you do do addition? addition? What’s What’s one one and and one one and and one aand nd one and and one and and one and and one and and one and and one and and one? one?


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A L L IS O N ALLISON What are are you you talking talking about? about? Stop Stop asking… a s k in g … What While ALLISON ALLISON is is cconfused, onfused, MATT MATT grabs grabs the the crown. crow n. While MA TT MATT I’ve ggot ot iit! t! I’ve KATT KATT u ttake ake the the cake! cake! Yo You MATT MATT t’s the the crown. crown. I ttook ook the the cake cake yesterday! yesterday! No No,, iit’s osses it it to to DAISY) (ALLISON rreaches eaches ffor or the the ccrown. rown. HE HE ttosses DAISY) (ALLISON Oo psy, Da is y ! Oopsy, Daisy! ST AN STAN He queen in move is is two. tw o . y eeverybody! v ery b o d y ! W ake a queen in eight eight moves! moves! First First move Hey Wee can m make oves ttowards ow ards D (as A LLISON m AISY, D AISY ttosses osses tthe he ccrown rown tto oK ATT) (as ALLISON moves DAISY, DAISY KATT) at’s one. one. Th That’s With H ARRY’s encouragement, M MA A R IA AN NNE takes takes one one step ste tep p towards towards Center. Center. encouragement, MARIANNE With HARRY’s ALLISON ALLISON No No!! KA TT KATT It ’s all all in in the the code. code. It’s osses the the ccrown rown to (a HE ttosses to ARTHUR) ARTH UR) (ass SSHE ST AN STAN o. Tw Two. MARIANNE MA R IA AN NNE takes takes another another step. step. As As ALLISON ALLISON turns turns toward toward ARTHUR, ARTHUR, he he tosses to s s e s the lightly the ccrown, rown, ligh lig htly to PARKER. PARKER. This This continues Th continues around, around, keeping keeping the keep the crown crown away aw ay from from ALLISON ALLISON – ccrown rown can can be be tossed, tossed, or or passed passed off off trickily. trickily. ARTHUR ARTHUR Blue! Bl ue! ARTHUR ART ARTH HUR passes passes ccrown rown to to PARK PARKER. ER. STAN ST AN Three! Th re e ! With With each each count, count, MARIANNE MARIA AN NNE takes takes a step step forward. forward. SHE SHE will will end end up up Center C e n te r Stage Stage at the the eighth eighth count. count.


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PA RKER PARKER Re d! Red! PARKER P ARKER ARK ER passes passes crown crown ttoo PRESTON. PRESTON. KATT KAT K ATT AT T joins joins STAN STAN in in counting. c o u n tin g . STAN, KATT ST AN, K ATT Four! Fo u r! PRESTON PRESTON Black! Bl ack! PRESTON ALICIA. PRES TON passes to AL ICIA. A FEW OTHER OTHER STUDENTS STUDENTS jjoin oin STAN STAN and and passes ccrown rown to KATT KA TT iin n counting. c o u n tin g . STAN, ST AN, KATT, KATT, OTHERS OTHERS Five! Fi ve! ALICIA ALICIA Yellow! Ye llow! ALICIA DEE AL ICIA passes EE DEE. DEE. MORE MORE STUDENTS STUDENTS jjoin oin tthe he counting. c o u n tin g . passes ccrown rown to to D STAN, ST AN, KATT, KATT, OTHERS OTHERS Six! Si x! DEE DEE DEE DE E Green! Green! DEE NEARLY passes ccrown rown ttoo SANDY. DEE DEE DEE passes SA AN NDY DY.. N EARLY EVERYONE EVERYON ONE E is is counting. c o u n tin g . STAN, STAN, KATT, KATT, OTHERS OTHERS Seven! Seven! SANDY SANDY Counting Counting is is hard! hard! Orange? O ran g e? ALICE ALICE (calmly, (c almly, smiling smiling at at SANDY) SA AN ND Y) Orange. Orange. Eight. E ig h t. (MARIANNE Center. ALICE (MA (M ARIA IAN NNE steps ste tep ps forward, forward, nnow ow sstanding tanding C enter. A LICE takes takes the the crown crown from from SANDY SAN SA NDY and hands iitt ttoo MARIANNE, M A R IA AN NNE, who who puts puts it it on) I present present Queen Queen Marianne! Marianne! EVERYONE EVERY EVERYO ONE cheers. cheers. ALLISON ALLISON ddrops rops to to tthe he floor, fflloor, angry, angry, but but defeated. d e fe a te d .


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Wo w. Wow. AL L IS O N ALLISON (t LL) (too A ALL) You ccan't an't gget et aaway way with with this! this! Paul! Paul! You PAUL PAUL (h elping ALLISON ALLISON up) up) (helping Al lison, no no one one iiss getting getting away away with with anything. anything. She She won. won. You You lost. lo s t. Allison, (surprised) (surprised) Bu till like like you. you. Butt I sstill AL L IS O N ALLISON (s till seething) s e e th in g ) (still Wh a t? What? PA UL PAUL ut I sstill till llike ike you, you, so so shut shut up! up! Yo u're rrude, ude, nnoisy oisy aand nd bossy. bossy. B You're But AL L IS O N ALLISON Wh at?! Nobody Nobody tells tells me... me... What?! PA UL PAUL I' m nnot ot "nobody." "nobody." I' m yyour our ddate ate for for tonight, tonight, and and maybe maybe your your boyfriend boyfriend tomorrow. tomorrow. I'm I'm AL L IS O N ALLISON (h a p p ily ) (happily) p! Sh ut uup! Shut PA UL PAUL my girl! g irl! Th at's my That's ALLISON move AL LISON aand nd PAU PAUL Lm ove tto o tthe he ddance ance floor. fflloor. ARTHUR ART HUR (to HARRY MARIANNE) (to H ARRY aand nd M ARIA IAN NNE) Hey, Hey, congratulations congratulations you two! two! HARRY HARRY Thanks, Thanks, pal! p a l! MARIANNE MARIANNE I got got it! it!


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KATT KA TT (thinking (t hinking MARIANNE MARIA IAN NNE means means the the crown) crow n) Yeah, Yeah, aand nd it it looks looks great! g r e a t! ALICE ALICE Congratulations! Congratulations! MA R IA N N E MARIANNE No. I ggot ot tthe he aanswer nswer to to tthe he riddle, riddle, “Why “Why is is her her raving raving like like a writing No. writing desk?”! desk?”! HA RRY HARRY You ddid? id ? You KATT KATT Don’t kkeep eep us us in suspense. suspense. What What is it? Don’t MA R IA N N E MARIANNE (l ooking around fo n d ly ) (looking around at at them them fondly) needs other other people people to to make make things things right right (write). (write). Her raving, llike ike a writing writing desk, desk, needs Her raving, HARRY HA RRY (madly (madly in in llove) ove) You’re Marianne! You’re ssomething, o m e th in g , M a r ia n n e ! (MUSIC (MUSIC sstarts tarts uup p ssoftly oftly aass lights lights change) change) MUSIC CUE COME AND THE DANCE ANCE ((FINALE) FINALE) MU SIC C UE 116: 6: C OME A ND JJOIN O IN T HE D Would Would you you llike ike to to dance? dance? MARIANNE MA R IA N N E I never never thought would ask. ask. thought you'd you'd ask. ask. Actually Actually I never never thought thought anyone anyone would HARRY HA RRY First First ttime? im e ? (MARIANNE (MA (M ARIA IAN NNE nods. nods. HE HE whispers) w h is p e r s ) Mine Mine too… to o … HARRY MARIANNE thee SSTUDENTS move HARRY and and M A R IA AN NNE move move to to the the dance dance floor fflloor as as th TUDENTS m ove aaside sid idee to let LIGHTS ARTHUR let them them in, in, applauding. applauding. LI ap LIG GHTS cchange hange aand nd ffocus ocus oon nA RTHUR aass sscene cene freezes. speaks freezes. ARTHUR ARTHUR ssp peaks to aaudience. udience. ARTHUR ART HUR And An d that that was was the the beginning beginning of of a new new day day in in Wonderland. W o n d e r la n d . Lights MARIANNE HARRY move Li ghts resume resume aass M A R IA AN NNE aand nd H ARRY m ove center. c e n te r .


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MA R IA N N E MARIANNE O N ’T K NOW H OW T O DANC E ID DON’T KNOW HOW TO DANCE HA RRY HARRY THAT’S B ECAUSE Y O U ’V E N EVER TR IED THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER TRIED MA R IA N N E MARIANNE I GUESS GUESS IT ’S T IME T OT AKE A C HANCE IT’S TIME TO TAKE CHANCE AND NOT S IT S AFELY O NT HE S IDE SIT SAFELY ON THE SIDE HARRY HARRY WE C OULD L ET L IFE DANCE DANCE RIGHT RIGHT BY BY COULD LET LIFE AF RAID T OM AKE A M OVE AFRAID TO MAKE MOVE OR W EC OULD T AKE A C HANCE AND T RY WE COULD TAKE CHANCE TRY AND HOP EW EF IND OUR G ROOVE HOPE WE FIND GROOVE CO ME JOIN JO IN T HE DANCE! DANCE! COME THE OUR S ONG IIS S NOW N ’T Y OU S EE SONG NOW,, OH CA CAN’T YOU SEE TH EB AND IIS SG IV IN G U SO UR C HANCE THE BAND GIVING US OUR CHANCE LET’ S JOIN JOIN THEM THEM IN IN IIT! T! LI FE’S A D ANCE! LET’S LIFE’S DANCE! CO ME JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE! COME THE DANCE! OH, W ON’T YOU C OME AND DANC EW IT H M E? WON’T COME DANCE WITH ME? EV ERY MINUTE MINUTE TH AT W E’RE L ATE EVERY THAT WE’RE LATE IS O NE M ORE M INUTE T HAT WON’T WON’T W AIT ONE MORE MINUTE THAT WAIT WI LL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, W ILL YOU, W ON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WILL WON’T WI LL YOU YOU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? WILL THE DANCE? WI LL YOU, YOU, WON’T WON’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL YOU, WILL WON’T WO N ’T Y OU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? WON’T YOU THE DANCE? KA TT, MATT, MATT, APRIL A P R IL M AY, DO RA, KATT, MAY, DORA, WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU YOU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? WILL THE DANCE? RKER, D EE D EE, S ANDY, ALICIA ALICIA PRESTON, PARKER, DEE DEE, SANDY, PR ESTON, PA N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL Y OU, WO WON’T YOU THE DANCE? O IN T HE D ANCE? WO N ’T Y OU JJOIN STUDENTS ST UDENTS THE FLOOR BIG AND RHYTHMS CHANGE SB IG A ND R HYTHM S C HANGE TH EF LOOR IIS SONG ENDS, NEW SONG STARTS NDS, A NE WS ONG S TARTS AS ONE S ONG E COMPOSING WORDS, EXPLORING RANGE ORDS, E XPLORING R ANGE CO M P O S IN G W WE’LL OUR HEARTS! WE ’LL SING SING WHAT’S WHAT’S IN IN O UR H EARTS!


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ART HUR/ALICE ARTHUR/ALICE CO ME T AKE A CH ANCE! COME TAKE CHANCE! ‘THOUGH STEPS COME UNEXPECTEDLY ‘T HOUGH S TEPS C OME U NEXPECTEDLY A HARD NEW STEP CAN HARD NE WS TEP C AN BE A CHANCE CHANCE TO P PRACTICE LEARN DANCE! RACTICE LIFE LIFE AND AND L EARN TO TO D ANCE! PAUL/ALLISON PAUL/ALLISON HE D ANCE! COME THE DANCE! CO ME JJOIN O IN T S NOW N ’T Y OU S SONG NOW,, OH CA CAN’T YOU SEE OUR S ONG IIS EE AT THE STRANGE, IF A T FIRST FIRST T HE RHYTHM’S RHYTHM’S S TRANGE, ONE MORE MINUTE, WILL CHANGE. IN O NE M ORE M INUTE, IT W ILL C HANGE. ARTHUR/ALICE/HARRY/MARIANNE/PAUL/ALLISON ART HUR/ALICE/HARRY/MARIANNE/PAUL/ALLISON WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL THE DANCE? WI LL YOU YOU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? WILL YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WON’T WON’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, WON’T WON’T YOU THE DANCE? WO N ’T Y OU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? OTHERS OT HERS WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO ON’T YOU, YOU, N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W WILL THE DANCE? WI LL YOU YOU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? WILL WON’T YOU, WILL YOU, WON’T ON’T YOU, YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W IL L Y OU, W WON’T YOU THE DANCE? WO N ’T Y OU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? ALL AL L WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, WON’T WON’T YOU, YOU, WILL YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WON’T WON’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL WON’T YOU, WILL WON’T WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, W ILL YOU, YOU, W ON’T YOU, YOU, WILL THE DANCE? WI LL YOU YOU JJOIN O IN T HE D ANCE? ENSEMBLE EN SEMBLE WI WILL LL YOU, YOU, WO WON’T N ’T Y YOU, OU, WI WILL LL Y YOU, OU, WO WON’T N ’T Y YOU, OU, WI WILL LL Y YOU, OU, WO WON’T N ’T Y YOU, OU, WI WILL LL Y YOU, OU, WO WON’T N ’T Y YOU, OU, WI LL Y OU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WI LL Y OU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WI LL Y OU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL YOU, WON’T YOU, WI LL Y OU, WO N’T YOU, WILL YOU, WON’T

PR INCIPAL C OUPLES PRINCIPAL COUPLES CO ME JJOIN O IN T COME THE HE D DANCE! ANCE! FO RL IFE IIS FOR LIFE SN NOW, OW, OH C AN’T YOU S CAN’T SEE? EE? DON’ TM ISS YOUR C HANCE T O DON’T MISS CHANCE TO JOIN T HE D ANCE! JOIN THE DANCE! COME JJOIN O IN U S IIN N IIT! T! COME US


— 118 —

WONDERLAND HIGH W

EN ENSEMBLE SEMBLE WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL WON’T YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL WON’T YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL WON’T YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU, WILL WON’T YOU, WI LL YOU, YOU, WON’T W O N ’T Y OU, WILL YOU, WI WILL LL YOU, YOU, WO N ’T Y OU WON’T YOU DANC E? DANCE?

O N D E R L A N D

H

I G H

PR PRINCIPAL INCIPAL C COUPLES OUPLES LI FE’S A LIFE’S DANC E! DANCE! LIFE’S A LIFE’S DANCE! DANCE! LIFE’S A LIFE’S DANC DANCE! E! LIFE’S A LIFE’S DANCE! DANCE! END O F PLAY PLAY END OF MU S IC C UE 116A: 6A : B OW S MUSIC CUE BOWS

AL L ALL WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND! WONDERLAND! WELCOME IT ’S A H IGH S CHOOL IIN N HI GH DE MAND, IT’S HIGH SCHOOL HIGH DEMAND, AL LT HE KI DS AR E UNI QUE A ND C OOL ALL THE KIDS ARE UNIQUE AND COOL TH AT IS IS W HY W E’RE TH E BEST BEST HIGH HIGH SCHOOL! SCHOOL! THAT WHY WE’RE THE WE LCOME TO TO WONDERLAND WONDERLAND WELCOME LO OK AROUND AROUND A ND Y OU’LL U NDERSTAND LOOK AND YOU’LL UNDERSTAND WHY IT’S IT ’S H ARD T OS AY ““GOODBYE” GOODBYE” WHY HARD TO SAY HERE AT WONDERLAND WONDERLAND H IGH! HERE HIGH! MU S IC C UE 116B: 6B : E XIT MU S IC MUSIC CUE EXIT MUSIC


W

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— 119 —

MUSICAL NM UMBERS USICAL (V NUMBERS OCAL BOOK (VOCAL ) BOOK) ACT ONE

ACT ONE

00

Wonderland 00 Fanfare Wonderland ................................................................................................................................ Fanfare ................................................................................................................................ 123 123

01

Welcome 01To Wonderland Welcome To......................................................................................................................... Wonderland ......................................................................................................................... 123 123

01a

Welcome 01a To Wonderland Welcome ToReprise Wonderland & Playoff Reprise ........................................................................................... & Playoff ........................................................................................... 128 128

02

The Ode02Of Wonderland The Ode Of.......................................................................................................................... Wonderland .......................................................................................................................... 129 129

03

We’re Not 03 Weird....................................................................................................................................... We’re Not Weird....................................................................................................................................... 131 131

04

Did Shakespeare 04 DidEver Shakespeare Feel ThisEver Way? Feel .................................................................................................... This Way? .................................................................................................... 138 138

04a

Shakespeare 04a Playoff Shakespeare ................................................................................................................................. Playoff ................................................................................................................................. 139 139

05

Girl Talk 05................................................................................................................................................... Girl Talk ................................................................................................................................................... 140 140

05a

Girl Talk 05a – reprise.................................................................................................................................... Girl Talk – reprise.................................................................................................................................... 143 143

06

Supply And 06 Demand Supply................................................................................................................................. And Demand ................................................................................................................................. 144 144

06a

Supply And 06a Demand Supply –And Playoff Demand ................................................................................................................. – Playoff ................................................................................................................. 148 148

06b

The Ode06b – Garden The Ode Glees – Garden #1 ..................................................................................................................... Glees #1 ..................................................................................................................... 148 148

07

Cheating 07................................................................................................................................................... Cheating ................................................................................................................................................... 149 149

07a

Arthur Alone 07a ............................................................................................................................................. Arthur Alone ............................................................................................................................................. 152 152

07b

Shakespeare 07b Triumphant.......................................................................................................................... Shakespeare Triumphant.......................................................................................................................... 152 152

07c

Shakespeare 07c Playoff Shakespeare ................................................................................................................................. Playoff ................................................................................................................................. 153 153

07d

The Ode07d – Garden The Ode Glees – Garden #2 ..................................................................................................................... Glees #2 ..................................................................................................................... 153 153

08

Cafetorium 08 Party...................................................................................................................................... Cafetorium Party...................................................................................................................................... 155 155

09

What Do 09You Say?.................................................................................................................................... What Do You Say?.................................................................................................................................... 164 164

10

In Wonderland.......................................................................................................................................... 10 In Wonderland.......................................................................................................................................... 168 168


— 120 —

T TWO

ACT TWO

W

O N D E R L A N D

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I G H

ACT TWO

10a

Entr’acte................................................................................................................................................... 10a Entr’acte................................................................................................................................................... 170 10a 170 Entr’acte......

11

Girls.......................................................................................................................................................... 11 Girls.......................................................................................................................................................... 170 11170 Girls.............

11a

Girls Encore ............................................................................................................................................. 11a Girls Encore ............................................................................................................................................. 173 11a 173 Girls Encore

12

Hate Me .................................................................................................................................................... 12 Hate Me .................................................................................................................................................... 175 12175 Hate Me .......

12a

Scene Change:12a Hate Scene Me .......................................................................................................................... Change: Hate Me .......................................................................................................................... 179 12a 179 Scene Change

13

Who Are You?........................................................................................................................................... 13 Who Are You?........................................................................................................................................... 180 13180 Who Are You

13a

Who Are You?13a - Reprise Who........................................................................................................................... Are You? - Reprise ........................................................................................................................... 182 13a 182 Who Are You

13b

The Ode – Garden 13b Glees The Ode Final– ................................................................................................................ Garden Glees Final ................................................................................................................ 183 13b 183 The Ode – Ga

14

Maybe It Could 14Be.................................................................................................................................... Maybe It Could Be.................................................................................................................................... 186 14186 Maybe It Cou

14a

Scene Change:14a Girl Talk Scene......................................................................................................................... Change: Girl Talk ......................................................................................................................... 190 14a 190 Scene Change

14b

Scene Change:14b Hate Scene Me .......................................................................................................................... Change: Hate Me .......................................................................................................................... 190 14b 190 Scene Change

14c

14c Ode 14c Ode Of Wond Ode Of Wonderland – 9RFDO8QGHUVFRUH................................................................................................190 Of Wonderland – 9RFDO8QGHUVFRUH................................................................................................190

15

The Heart Of Wonderland........................................................................................................................ 15 The Heart Of Wonderland........................................................................................................................ 192 15192 The Heart Of

15a

Lobster Ball Dance 15a #1.............................................................................................................................. Lobster Ball Dance #1.............................................................................................................................. 194 15a 194 Lobster Ball D

15b

Lobster Ball Dance 15b #2.............................................................................................................................. Lobster Ball Dance #2.............................................................................................................................. 194 15b 194 Lobster Ball D

15c

Drum Roll ................................................................................................................................................. 15c Drum Roll ................................................................................................................................................. 195 15c 195 Drum Roll ....

16

Come Join The16Dance Come (Finale) Join................................................................................................................ The Dance (Finale) ................................................................................................................ 195 16195 Come Join Th

16a

Bows ......................................................................................................................................................... 16a Bows ......................................................................................................................................................... 199 16a 199 Bows ............

16b

Exit Music................................................................................................................................................. 16b Exit Music................................................................................................................................................. 199 16b 199 Exit Music....


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— 121 —

S O N G S B Y C H A R A C T E R (VOCAL BOOK) ALICE

DEE DEE

3. We’re Not Weird ............................................. 131

5. Girl Talk ..........................................................140

5. Girl Talk.......................................................... 140

5a. Girl Talk Reprise...........................................143

5a. Girl Talk Reprise .......................................... 143

7. Cheating ..........................................................149

7. Cheating.......................................................... 149

12. Hate Me.........................................................175

10. In Wonderland .............................................. 168 14. Maybe It Could Be ........................................ 186

DORA

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195

6. Supply And Demand........................................144 8. Cafetorium Party.............................................155

ALICIA

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................195

5. Girl Talk.......................................................... 140 5a. Girl Talk Reprise .......................................... 143

GARDEN GLEES

7. Cheating.......................................................... 149

6b. The Ode – Garden Glees #1..........................148

12. Hate Me ........................................................ 175

7b. The Ode – Garden Glees #2..........................153 13b. The Ode – Garden Glees Final ...................183

ALLISON 5. Girl Talk.......................................................... 140

HARRY

5a. Girl Talk Reprise .......................................... 143

1. Welcome To Wonderland ................................123

7. Cheating.......................................................... 149

9. What Do You Say? ..........................................164

12. Hate Me ........................................................ 175

11. Girls ..............................................................170

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195

11a. Girls Encore ................................................173 16. Come Join The Dance ...................................195

APRIL MAY 6. Supply And Demand ....................................... 144

KATT

8. Cafetorium Party ............................................ 155

6. Supply And Demand........................................144

16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195

9. What Do You Say? ..........................................164 13. Who Are You? ...............................................180

ARTHUR

13a. Who Are You – Reprise ...............................182

1. Welcome To Wonderland................................ 123 3. We’re Not Weird ............................................. 131

MARIANNE

4. Did Shakespeare Ever Feel This Way? .......... 138

6. Supply And Demand........................................144

7b. Shakespeare Triumphant .............................. 152

9. What Do You Say? ..........................................164

8. Cafetorium Party ............................................ 155

16. Come Join The Dance ...................................195

9. What Do You Say? .......................................... 164 11. Girls .............................................................. 170 11a. Girls Encore................................................ 173 14. Maybe It Could Be ........................................ 186 16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195


— 122 —

W

O N D E R L A N D

MATT ADDER 6. Supply And Demand ....................................... 144 8. Cafetorium Party ............................................ 155 16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195 PARKER 6. Supply And Demand ....................................... 144 7. Cheating.......................................................... 149 PAUL 7. Cheating.......................................................... 149 16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195 PRESTON 6. Supply And Demand ....................................... 144 7. Cheating.......................................................... 149 SANDY 5. Girl Talk.......................................................... 140 5a. Girl Talk Reprise .......................................... 143 7. Cheating.......................................................... 149 12. Hate Me ........................................................ 175 STUDENTS/ENSEMBLE/COMPANY 1. Welcome To Wonderland................................ 123 2. The Ode Of Wonderland ................................. 129 3. We’re Not Weird ............................................. 131 6. Supply And Demand ....................................... 144 8. Cafetorium Party ............................................ 155 14c. Ode Of Wonderland – 9 R F D O 8 6 ..............190 15. The Heart Of Wonderland ............................ 192 16. Come Join The Dance................................... 195 16a. Bows............................................................ 199

H

I G H


W

No. 00

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 123 —

Wonderland W onderland Fanfar Fanfaree VOCAL T TACET ACET

Vocal V ocal Book

Welcome W elcome To To Wonderland Wonderland

No. 01

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— 124 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

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HOLD FOR CUE: 1st X: "Thanks Harry!" (Repeat) 2nd X: Hop on!" (Continue)

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#1—Welcome To Wonderland

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W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

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— 125 —

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W Won on - der - land High!

#1—Welcome To Wonderland

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!

And you'll see them

!


— 126 —

WWOONND DE ER RL LA AN ND DH HI GI HG H P

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#1—Welcome To Wonderland

.. .. ..


W

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

HARRY HARRY That's Alice, head of the Quadrille team and our future Cotillion Lobster Queen.

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ALICE has backed up, bumping into ARTHUR AR THUR who turns around. Their eyes meet. ARTHUR ARTHUR is entranced, ALICE smiles.

You Y ou can't win,

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a rule

173

So why try?

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high de - mand

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ARTHUR ARTHUR OPS) Cotillion? Is that like Homecoming? (MUSIC ST STOPS)

— 127 —

V

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On - ly fools

#1—Welcome To Wonderland


— 128 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

Vocal V ocal Book

No. 1a

Wonderland W onderland - Reprise and Playoff

CUE: HARRY HARRY: HARR Y: "I know a short cut!" Thoughtfully {q = c 120} Arthur

4 & 4 Œ œ œ œ œ. œ. œ Wel Wel - come to

j j œ œ œ Ó

U

!

A B Brightly (h = 100)

C

Won W on - der - land! It's a high...

#1a—Wonderland—Reprise and Playoff

16

33


W

Vocal V ocal Book

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 129 —

The Ode of Wonderland Wonderland

No. 02

CUE: DEE DEE: It's a very current song. (onstage pitch pipe or bell tone "D")

Soprano

Alto

T Tenor enor

Bass

6

S

A

T

B

#

A

&

Stately q = 72

# 4 Ó .Accapella j œ & 4 œ œ. œ œ # & 44 Ó .

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sea

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sea

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j œ. œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ J

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œ. œ œ œ J

œ.

j œ œ

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j œ œ

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and thir - ty

years may pass

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Won W on - der-land! Though

nine

and thir - ty

years may pass

j œ œ

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and

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and

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sand

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w

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to sea

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years may pass From

nine

or

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&

or

years may pass From

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œ. sand

˙. ˙.

to sand From

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stone

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to grass

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to sea

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Hold for dialogue

œ œ "Œ

œ

B

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Oo

The

Ode

œ.

of old

re -

Oo Oo

The

Ode

of old

re -

œ œ œ J

N.B., The lyric in italics (NINE AND THIRTY) THIRTY) should be changed to refer to the current year, year, using 1976 as the baseline: 2015: NINE AND THIRTY; THIRTY THIR TY; 2016: LO, THESE FORTY; FORTY; FORTY 2017: ONE AND FORTY; FORTY; 2018: TWO AND FORTY FORTY FOR FORTY; TY; 2019: THREE AND FORTY FOR FORTY; TY; 2020: FOUR AND FORTY FOR FORTY, TY, etc.

#2—The Ode of Wonderland


— 130 —

H II GG HH WWOONNDDEERRLLAA NN DD H

Vocal V ocal Book 11

S

A

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shown.

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Dialogue after first phrase:

*: DEE DEE: See, that's the words they change! SANDY SANDY:: Isn't it brilliant! ARTHUR: ARTHUR: (half-heartedly) Brilliant!

#2—The Ode of Wonderland

˙

˙

w w

œ


W

Vocal V ocal Book

O NODNEDRELRALNA DN

W

I GI H DH H GH

— 131 —

W We're e're Not Weird Weird

No. 03

Yellow ellow,, Green, Orange." CUE: ALL: "Blue, Red, Black, Yellow, Arthur (over music): Is that croquet talk? You're Y ou're kidding me, right? Alice

# & Œœ

Œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ

Wit Wit - ty

œ œ œ

5

Alice

2

# & 44

j œ œ. œ ˙

œ

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Alice

Would W ould ould-- n't want this day to

# & Œ

Alice

And you'd bet - ter

# & œ œ œ œj Ó

Œ

16

Alice

as

a

lose

You Y ou seem pret - ty out of

Œ

place

here,

œ œ œ œ œ œ

Shake - speare

I

fast

j Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ.. œ ˙

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up

la - bled

j U œ œ œ œ Ó "

œ œ œ œ œ bœ

freak.

ces

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the

-

A

be your last!

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13

fa

j œ ˙

Slow down, new kid, 'cause you move too

j œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ Ó

9

boys with pret - ty

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SomeSome - times don't know where their place is.

œ.

sug - gest you learn be - fore

you

C

speak...

ARTHUR ARTHUR Don't you mean “listen” before I speak? STAR STAR ARTS) TS) (MUSIC STARTS) ALLISON Did she say, say, “listen?” B Alice

Briskly h = 105

# & œ

25

Alice

2

# & C ..

you

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may think they're

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games are weird, be - cause you're new

all

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as - kew kew,,

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œ

And

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Be - cause of where you're


— 132 —

W W OO NNDDEERRL LA AN ND

# & œ œ œ Œ

30

Alice

com - ing from.

# & œ œ œ œ

35

Alice

&

Grp 1

&

Grp 2

Grp 1

Grp 2

&

Ó

& 46

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

&

Fact and fic - tion

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small Not just from

!

!

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hall Much

what you choose to

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w

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you!

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you!

think And we

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eat and drink! 'Cause W We're e're not weird!

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!

!

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not

dumb!

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dumb!

w

you!

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dumb!

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!

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!

Is worth - less

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see...

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you!

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here, you'll

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w

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˙

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œ. œ. œ

And we're

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clo - ser than you

walk the

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We're W e're not weird!

# Ó #

!

#

&

40

Alice

#

make you feel

œ œ œ œ

H IHGIHG H

D

see...

bœ. œ. œ bœ

Face

the

facts

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the

facts

bbœœ . œ . œ bbœœ . œ . œ

Face

the

facts


W

H

— 133 —

WONDERLAND HIGH

52

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

& & &

58

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

&

# # #

œ œ œ œ

w

œ Œ

Ó

œ œ œ œ

w

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Ó

and get

and get

and get

Grp 1

Grp 2

clue!

a

# Ó.

# & Œ # & Œ # & Œ

œ.

clue!

w

clue!

a

# Ó.

64

Alice

a

œ bœ œ œ

# & Π&

O N D E R L A N D

œ You've Y ou've

œ

œ

Ó

œ. œ. œ

Ó

We're W e're

odd!

not

not

odd!

˙.

˙

˙.

˙

w

It's

It's

you!

œ

˙.

And

œ

we won't budge,

And

we won't budge,

lit - tle new you! And

we won't budge,

out - cast here

is

out - cast here

˙

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

œ

no

œ

œ

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you!

you!

is

no one else but

!

to

œ

judge

œ.

œ

! !

œ.

got

no

right

to

judge

œ

œ

œ

œ.

œ.

œ

no

right

to

judge

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œ. œ. œ

˙.

w

is

œ

you!

˙

out - cast here

œ

you!

It's

odd!

not

˙

w

got

got

œ. œ. œ

We're W e're

You've Y ou've

You've Y ou've

Ó

˙

Ó œ œ. œ. œ

The

œ. œ. œ

We're W e're

Ev - i - dent - ly, ly,

œ. œ. œ Ó œ œ œ œ

Did ya hear? The

D

œ œ œ œ

œ. œ. œ Ó œ

The

I G H

bœ. bœ An

bbœœ . An

bbœœ . An

-

-

-

œ. œ. œ œ. œ. œ

œ. y

œ. y

œ. y

-

-

-

œ

thing

œ

thing

œ

thing


— 134 —

68

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

Grp 1

Grp 2

Grp 1

Grp 2

œ

#

& œ

& & & & &

# # #

œ

say

and

œ

œ

œ

we

say

and

we

œ

œ

say

w

œ

we

# & œ bœ bœ

77

Alice

#

& œ

E Alice

A NN DD HHI IGGH H WWOONNDD EE RR LL A

do.

w

œ œ.

do.

w

and

Œ

œ

#

ARTHUR AR THUR I'm not judging you. It just doesn't make any sense to me.

Œ

Ó

PA UL PAUL He thinks we're nonsense!

Œ

Ó

PREST ON PRESTON money.. Maybe he should give us some money ALLISON Give us a penny for your thoughts.

do.

SANDY That's good cents! ARTHUR AR THUR Wa it! Wait!

!

Ó

! !

Π!

œ

At

œ œ œ

die

w

w

w

w

w

bw bw

Won W on - der - land, the

Ooo

!

œ œ œ œ

sing - ing days our

w

# & NNww

˙.

past.

w

Ooo

Ooo

is cast: Y You'll ou'll

mu - sic is

w

a

w

Ooo

sing, Or else your

w w

Ooo

˘œ

œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

whole new thing.

Ooo

w

sing the song we

œ œ œ œ

Ooo

œ œ œ œ œ œ

Our

œ

œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ

Ooo

#

Ó

œ fl

Œ Ó Œ Ó

#3—We’re Not Weird

An - swers that you used to know in -

!

!

!

!


W

H

— 135 —

WONDERLAND HIGH

# & œ œ œ

83

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

& &

#

œ œ œ œ

volved a word called "yes," But now you

!

#

¿ Œ Ó

!

# & œ œ œ # & œ œ œ

œ

# & œ œ œ

Arthur

&

Grp 1

Grp 2

Arthur

!

&

Ó

&

Œ

œ. œ. œ

Ó

œ. œ. œ

Ó

!

New!

Π
˙

w w

# Ó

˙

It's

you!

#

˙

It's

w

#

It's

˙

˙.

˙

˙.

˙

w

It's

It's

Œ ¿ ¿ ¿ I

you!

¿

did - n't... Wait! Wait! No need

œ to

œ œ œ œ

¿ Œ ¿

Œ

!

new,, it's "no," Don't new

New!

No!

New!

No!

¿ Œ ¿

Ó.

Hey! Watch Wattch the Wa

œ. œ. œ

œ

˙.

Your Y our

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-

O - V

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Your Y our

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O - V

P

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Your Y our

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! œ

œ. œ. œ

And, we're not dumb,

œ

œ. œ. œ

And we're not dumb!

œ œ. œ. œ

œ œ Œ J ler!

#3—We’re Not Weird

!

col - lar!

˙.

hol

Œ

And we're not dumb!

Œ œ

œ.

e - ven have to

j œ œ œ. œ œ Œ

you!

˙. œ œ

œ

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you!

¿ Œ Ó

œ œ œ

œ Ó.

you!

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you!

Œ

New!

What?

# Ó

&

Π
¿

Ó

T Take ake a guess! 'Cause, W We're e're not weird!

&

94

Alice

#

œ

¿

know,, we knew, know knew, you're

No!

T Take ake a guess! 'Cause, W We're e're not weird!

Grp 2

œ

Yes! Ye s!

take a guess! 'Cause, W We're e're not weird,

Grp 1

œ œ

No!

œ. œ. œ

I G H

œ

Yes! Ye s!

¿ Œ Ó

œ

88

Alice

œ

O N D E R L A N D

œ. œ. œ !

Œ œ œ œ Is

worth - less

Is

worth - less

Is

worth - less

Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ !


— 136 —

W OO NN DDEERRL LA AN ND D H H I GI HG W

# & œ.

Alice

# & œ.

here,

Grp 1

Grp 2

Arthur

# & œ. &

Grp 1

Grp 2

Arthur

Grp 1

Grp 2

Arthur

œ.

œ

!

here,

you'll

here,

œ.

you'll

!

#

# & Œ.

bœ. bœ

Ó

œ. œ. œ

Ó

œ. œ. œ

Ó

We're W e're not

œ œ œ œ

We're W e're not

!

odd!

odd!

Would W ould you lis - ten?

˙

is

˙

# & Ó

is

!

˙

is

you!

w

Œ

œ œ

I thought

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w

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œ.

œ

the

facts

and

get

and

bb˙˙

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˙

˙.

˙

w

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you!

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you!

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get

clue!

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w

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clue!

a

œ

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clue!

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out - cast here

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out - cast here

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and

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!

You Y ou do seem kind of odd...

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œ.

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œ

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And

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we

œ.

won't

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budge,

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we

won't

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we

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a

get

for

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w

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facts

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w

place

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to

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bœ. bœ

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see...

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# & œ Œ

110 110

Alice

see,

& œ Œ

104

Alice

#

!

you'll

œ

œ.

99

H

a

œ

mod est

œ. w

charm,

#3—We’re Not Weird

œ.

won't

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budge,

Œ Œ Œ ¿ No?

œ œ œ

You've Y ou've got

no

You've Y ou've got

no

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You've Y ou've got

Œ Ó

no


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

# & œ. œ. œ

!

1115 15

Alice

# & œ. œ. œ right

Grp 1

Arthur

& G

Alice

Grp 1

Grp 2

Arthur

& & & &

#

right

to

to

!

#

œ. œ œ . œ.

!

œ. œ. œ

!

œ. œ. œ

!

#

we're not weird...

#

we're not weird...

#

we're not weird...

!

# & œ Œ Ó # & œ Œ Ó # & œ Œ Ó No,

Grp 2

w

œ. œ. œ

œ œ œ œ

w

!

-

-

-

thing

we say and

thing

we say and

thing

we say and

!

w

œ Œ Œ

do!

œ Œ Œ

do!

œ

'Cause

œ

'Cause

do!

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!

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!

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˙.

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˙.

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We're W e're not

weird...

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!

weird...

!

weird...

!

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!

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! ! !

w

w

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w

w

w w

w w

You! Y ou!

w

You! Y ou!

w

w

w

#3—We’re Not Weird

œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó

!

'Cause!

œ

Œ Ó

!

'Cause!

œ

Œ Ó

'Cause!

!

Why?!

No,

Grp 1

œ œ œ œ

An - y

¿ ¿

Ó

bœ. œ. œ bœ An - y

!

judge

œ œ œ œ

An - y

!

judge

bbœœ . œ . œ

Real - ly?

128

Alice

judge

# & œ. œ. œ right

Grp 2

to

— 137 —

! œ Œ Ó Oh!

¿ ¿ ¿ Œ Œ¿ ¿ Œ

We're W e're not weird!

It's Y You! ou!

We're W e're not weird!

It's Y You! ou!

We're W e're not weird!

It's Y You! ou!

¿ ¿ ¿ Œ Œ¿ ¿ Œ ¿ ¿ ¿ Œ Œ¿ ¿ Œ


— 138 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

Vocal V ocal Book

Did Shakespear Shakespearee Ever Feel This Way? Way?

No. 04

CUE: (Bell rings) *After "Stupid Country" Tacet N.B.: KEYBOARD T acet In Performance Arthur (after scene change, over music): I can't believe I was just threatened by a Croquet player named "Paul Williams." Williams."

14

# & C

Spirited - In 2 (h = 105)

3

nbb 4 b 4

A

Relaxed 4 (q = 120)

Ó

j œ œ œ œ œ œ. ‰ j œ œ

Œ ‰ j œ œ Arthur

Did Shake speare ev er feel

b & b b œ œj œ œ œj œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ œj œ œ œJ

˙.

b j & b b œ œ œ œ Jœ

œ

21

he

sat down to write

26

He'd lost the words

b & b b Ó.

32

a play?

ev

œœ œ œ œ ˙ J J

Ó

this way?

Œ ‰ j œ œ

Did Shake - speare ev - er want

might be

49

&

bbb

w

fraid?

œ J

˙

Ó

Ó

be - trayed?

!

œ . Jœ œ œ

Was Was

he

hip?

to

j j œ œ œ œ œ w speare ev er feel

fade

Be cause he had

Œ

œ

œ

Did Shake

C

be cause

!

A - way from oth - ers in

‰ œj œ œj œ œ œj œj œ œ œ Jœ

˙.

Did he toss and turn at night

b & b b œJ œ œ œ

œ

go ing on

j œ œ œ œ . ‰ j œ œj œ œ œj œ œ œ œ

B

b & b b œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ œj œ œ Jœ

43

Œ

Not

Did Shake

38

his grade?

Ó

When

‰ j œ j œ œ œj œ œ

er stop and pause

he longed to say?

Ó

œ w

Did he

this way

to fight

The feel - ing

j j œ œ œ œ œ w speare ev

er feel

œœ.. œ œ œ J

Wa Wass

he

Ó.

cool?

#4—Did Shakespeare Ever Feel This Way?

!

he

œ

a -

œ. œ. œ Did

he

fit


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

b &b b œœ œ œ œ

w

56

in

at

his

school?

Œ

bb œ b &

œ œ œ œœ w

Œ

œ œ œ

œ œ œ

D

Was he teased? Was

65

3

Was Was

b &bb Œ Œ Œ ‰ j œ œ E

b &bb œ

j œ œ

˙.

b & b b œJ œ œ œ œJ ˙

Ó

may

be have

to

82

would dis

b &bb w

88

Feel

No. 04a

œ œ œ œ

they strike him

down?

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

he

feel

like

he

or

did

they

2

‰ œj w

3

3

was loved

But, hey... hey...

j œ œ œ œ . ‰ j œ œj œ œ œj œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ

œ

œ J

œ

did

May be the guy felt o - kay, kay,

Did Shake speare feel

78

Or

œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙.

!

laugh when he moved in to town?

Did

œ œ

œ

him

œ œ

he shoved?

3

73

œœ ˙

Did they like

b œ &bb

62

œ. œ. œ

!

— 139 —

he was

n't

free

‰ j œ œ

hide

The things

Ó

Œ

œ

a gree?

To

j œ œ

w

like

me?

œ

he felt

œ

Did Shake

w

be the per son he

w

in

could be?

j j œ œ œ

side

Be

œ

cause

Did he

œ J

œ the

world

j j œ œ œ œ œ w speare ev

w

er

!

feel

w

!

Shakespear Shakespearee Playoff [Vocal [V ocal Tacet] Tacet]

#4—Did Shakespeare Ever Feel This Way? / #4a—Shakespeare Playoff


— 140 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

Vocal V ocal Book

Girl Talk Talk

No. 05

CUE: DEE DEE: "Sandy! Shh..." (music starts) ALICE: (over music) "It's okay, okay, Sandy. Sandy. Paul is a little stupid."

b & b b 44 ..

Spirited (q = 160)

2

A

.. Alice œ œ

b &bb œ œ œœ œ Œ

œ œ

10

&

bbb

fight.

œœ œœ œ Œ is

shut!

b &bb œ œ œ œ

All his "thoughts" are Allison

œ œ

hold him

Most boys are stu - pid! He's

b &bb œ I

C

b &bb

œ

just

œ

want

tight

not too

filled with

smut

œ œ œœ œ Œ

pef - fect

to

be

Likes

But he's

œ

œ œ

love

œ

to

-

swear And

Not un - til

w

mouth

j œ œœ œ ‰œ

makes me

sigh

If

B

œ Œ Œ œ

w

All

Sur - prise!

œ œ œ œ

So don't shoot Cu - pid!

œ

œ œ œ œ

œ

Big and dumb He

œ œ œ œ œ

in

to

œ

awf - 'lly cute when his

œ œ œ œ

guy

œ œ œ bbœœ œ

œ

œ

œ œ œ œ œj ‰ œ œ b œ œ œ

3

cute,

œ

bright.

On oc - ca - sion dumb's all right!

w

3

25

But

œ œ œ œ œj ‰ œ œ bbœœ œ

3 b œ b b œ & œ œ œ œ

20

œ œ

I think Paul's The

15

he were mine, I'd

œ

œ

Œ

œ œ œ œ œ

œ

Hand - some yes,

6

loves to

œ

I

œ œ œœ ˙

fall in

3

love

SANDY Did you know that "Cupid" is the only word that rhymes with "stupid?" They go together!

day!

œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œj‰œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Alicia

Sandy

Still, I like the brain - y

b & b b bœ œ œ bœ œ

37

boy's who wan - na check

type.

œ

me

New boy's cute, I would - n't

bbœœ œ œ œ œ Œ out not

books!

#5—Girl Talk

gripe

No one cares how how good he looks,

Alice

œ œ œ œ

Ar - thur's new new,, So

I want

Œ œ œ œ œ œ

give him

time


W

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 141 —

b j & b b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ

41

Be - ing new's His

b &bb œ Œ Œ

on - ly

crime.

D

46

œ

w

3

b &bb œ œ œ œ ˙

I

Allison

You Y ou have got what

3

dream:

Head stud on

quick, When you gripe a - bout Paul, it makes me

œ œ œ œ

Not to dis - count

3

E

w

to - day. day.

j œ œ œœ œ ‰œ œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ

the

bb

shut up

œ œ

ALICE I didn't. I sang it.

& b œ œ œ œ œj‰ œj œj bbœœ œ œ œ œ œ b œ œ œ œ œ Œ

64

œ

love

ALLISON I can't believe you just said that!

œ œ œœ œ Œ

most girls

not quite

œ

lit - tle flirt - ing nev - er hurt!

Hel - lo? Where's Cu - pid?

œ œ œ bœ bœ œ

have Paul, but

( DEE DEE and SANDY giggle)

guess a

œ œ

3

œ œ œ œ

love,

b &bb œ œ œ œ

flirt,

Ar - thur's not stu - pid, As - tute–

52

59

be a

œ œ œ œ w œ œ

Sur - prise!

Paul and

Paul can al - so

Cro quet

F

6

sick.

team!

If

.. !

I were you I'd

! ..

!

ALICE Chillax, Allison. ALICIA I think Allison is right. Cotillion is tomorrow and three of us still don't have dates for the Lobster Ball. Listening to you complain about Paul is ridiculous!

ALLISON Secret! Speaking of crushes, Alicia has a crush on Preston! ALICIA Allison!

DEE DEE I'd love even just half of what you have with Paul.

SANDY Well, Well, if you don't, I'll take Preston!

SANDY Yeah, Y eah, I'd settle for even just a part.

DEE DEE Me too.

DEE DEE Which part?

SANDY Hey, Hey, maybe we could go on a double date with him!

SANDY The part that could crush me in his arms! STOPS (MUSIC ST OPS IN DISBELIEF)

Alicia You You two are ridiculous! Alice We're We're all ridiculous. Fighting over boys is dumb.

DEE DEE That would be his arms. (THEY ALL LAUGH - MUSIC RESUMES at Rehearsal Mark "G")

#5—Girl Talk


— 142 —

G

&

bbb

b &bb &

bbb

b &bb

H II GG HH WWOONNDDEERRLLAA NN DD H

12 12 12 12

H Slower {q = c 120}

Ó. Ó.

Allison

œ

w

Sur - prise! Tweedles Tweedles

Ó. Ó.

œ

w

Sur - prise! Alice

œ

w

Sur - prise! Alicia

œ

b &bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙ We all want to

fall in

love!

b &bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙ We all want to

fall in

love!

b &bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙ We all want to

fall in

fall in

3

w

w

œ œ œ œ œ 3

Girls can be stu - pid! That's why, why,

œ œ œ œ œ œ 3

3

we all need Cu - pid!

œ œ œ œ œ 3

w

Girls can be stu pid! That's why, why,

œ œ œ œ œ œ 3

3

we all need Cu pid!

œ œ œ œ œ 3

w

Girls can be stu - pid! That's why, why,

œ œ œ œ œ œ 3

we all need Cu - pid!

œ œ œ œ œ 3

w

Girls can be stu - pid! That's why, why,

œ œ œ œ

We just want to

bœ œ œ œ

We just want to

We just want to

love!

œ œ œ œ

" œ œ œ bbœœ œ œ

be in

love

We just want to

#5—Girl Talk

" œœ œ œ œ œ

be in

be in

love

love

love

w w

to - day!

w

to - day!

" œ œ œ bbœœ œ œ

be in

we all need Cu - pid!

to - day!

bœ œ œ œ œ " bœ œ

œ œ œ œ

love!

b &bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙ We all want to

3

3

Sur - prise!

93

œ œ œ œ œ œ

w

to - day!

4 4 4 4


W

Vocal V ocal Book

O NO DN ED RE LR AL N W AD N D H HI GI GH H

— 143 —

Girl Talk Talk - reprise reprise

No. 05a CUE: "Because they're stupid!"

"But at least we have dates for tomorrow night!"

b {q4= c 120} 3 b & b 4 3

b & b b 44

b &bb œ

œ 3

œ 3

Three cheers

b &bb œ

œ 3

Three cheers

œ 3

Three cheers

b &bb œ

12

b bœ & b b bœ

be

œ œ

in

b &bb œ

in

be

in

be

in

be

b &bb œ

Ó.

w

Allison

œ

œ

Sur - prise!

œ

œ

Sur - prise! Alice

œ

Sur - prise! Alicia

œ

œ

for

œ

Cu

œ

pid!

œ

œ

œ

We

œ

œ

all

œ

œ

3

'Though boys

œ

w

œ

œ

3

'Though boys

w

œ

œ

3

'Though boys

w

Tweedles Tweedles

Sur - prise!

Three cheers

b &bb œ

Ó.

3

b & b b 44 b &bb œ

Ó.

3

b 4 &bb 4

8

Ó.

œ

3

'Though boys

œ

œ

are

stu

œ

œ

are

stu

œ

œ

are

stu

œ

œ

are

stu

œ œ œ œ ˙

œ

want

œ

œ

to

œ

fall

in

love!

œ œ œ œ ˙

3

œ

pid! 3

œ

pid! 3

œ

pid! 3

œ

pid!

œ Œ Ó

œ

We're We're

œ

We're We're

œ

We're We're

œ

hooked!

Œ œ Ó hooked!

Ó Ó.

œ

hooked!

œ

We're We're

œ

Œ

hooked!

œ

We

bbœœ

œ

œ

just

œ

want

œ

to

œ

for

Cu

pid!

We

all

want

to

fall

in

love!

We

just

want

to

œ

œ

Cu

œ

pid!

We

all

want

to

fall

in

love!

We

just

want

to

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

for

œ

for

Cu

œ œ

œ

pid!

bœ bœ œ

love

love

We

œ œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

bœ bœ

œ

love

love

œ

all

œ

want

(Stay in tempo)

œ

œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ ˙

to

fall

w

œ

to

-

day!

œ

to

-

day!

to

œ

-

day!

œ

-

day!

to

in

w w w

#5a—Girl Talk—Reprise

love!

œ

We

œ

just

4 4 4 4

œ

want

œ œ

to


— 144 —

WWO ON ND DE ER RL LAANNDD HHIIGG HH

Vocal V ocal Book

Supply And Demand

No. 06

CUE: "Oh, you don't know the half..." Mysterioso (q = 150) Katt

# & ˙

10

Katt

what's

19

Katt

3

# & 43

#

& ˙.

˙

store

˙

œ

I'll

q = 152 # .Fast Calypso ! & .œ Œ Ó

# & œ #œ œ Œ com - mand.

36

Katt

&

..

40

Solos

ac

-

quire.

˙

œ

œ ˙

that

˙

most

an

-

œ ˙

˙

˙

œ ˙

read - y

œ

you

could need

4 4 ˙

˙.

œ

y - thing

what you

de - mand

œ œ Œ œ œ œ

That you de - sire

in

the store.

#

&

#

and more.

!

All you have to

!

do is

ask

And pay the

!

!

read - y

you

and

˙

have

U

œ

ga -

˙

"ka -

œ œœ œ œ œ œœ

Your Y our an - y wish is

my

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ stock you

can

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Ev - er - y - thing you

œ Œ Ó

B

want

!

price.

Matt, Dora, April May

Ó

Œ œ ˙. œ ˙. Sup - ply ply,,

#6—Supply And Demand

for

œ ˙

From my

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ

So man - y good - ies

Get

˙

If

œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ I can sup - ply

œ œ œ

œ

A - bun - dant

A

Ev - er - y - thing

œœ œ œ œ Œ

œ

& œ #œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ ‰ œ. œ œ

40

Katt

#

˙

œ ˙

œ œ Œ œ œ œ

32

œ

book - store's stocked and

pro - vide

ching!"

Katt

˙

Ev - 'ry - thing

27

Katt

œ

˙.

˙.

lore!

Katt

My

œ ˙.

in

Ó

œ œ

De -


W 46

Solos

#

& ˙˙ ..

œœ

mand

C Solos

&

57

Solos

&

61

Solos

&

j . œœ ˙˙ .. œ #œ. #œ

b ˙˙ b˙

all

on

Solos

I can pro - vide

#

most

#

-

A - pril May got

a

# & Π# & 
œ. #œ. on

Katt

do is

j œœ ˙˙ ..

In

Œ

Ka - ching! Kids (sotto voce)

¿

Katt

&

80

Group

# Π#

& ¿

-

nough

"ka - ching!"

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œ Œ

Got my

hat

right here

from

Katt!

April May

œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ

That was last March, But,

yes,

it's true!

D

‰ œ. œ œ œ Œ Œ œ ˙. œ ˙. Matt, Dora, April May

Katt

And pay the

bb˙˙ ˙

Won W on

-

price.

Sup - ply, ply,

j œ ˙ œ . bbœœ . nœ nœ ˙

œ ˙˙ .. œ

De - mand

2

Ó

œœ

It's

der - land.

œ œ œ

Œ

!

Ka - ching!

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

œ œ œ œ œ

Ka - ching!

Œ

e

œ Œ

œ #œ

Matt

new hair do!

œœ

hand

œ œ œ

If you pro - duce

œ œ œ œ

ask

White kid gloves, A dish of tarts

80

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

y - thing

œœ œ œ œ Œ

Dora

#

brand

2

Ó

Won W on - der - land.

great hat on Matt?

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

77

Group

In

œ œ œ Œ œ œ

Do you see that

& b ˙˙

77

an

Œ œ œ œ œ œ

all

Katt

hand

Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

All you have to

71

œœ

— 145 —

j œ ˙ œ . b œ . nœ nœ ˙

bb˙˙ ˙

Katt

# & œ œ œ œ

65

Solos

#

It's

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

Sto - len by the Knave of Hearts, A

!

pid - geon egg, A dra - gon - fly, fly, A

Ka-ching!

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

œ œ œ œ œ œ

Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka - ching!

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

¿

Christ-mas box and mince-meat pie. Some knit-ting nee-dles used as oars, A brooch, A shawl, A chest of drawers!

#6—Supply And Demand


— 146 —

WWO ON ND DE ER RL LAANNDD HHIIGG HH 83

Katt

&

83

Solos

&

83

Group

#

!

#

Œ

!

!

#

¿

Ev - 'ry - thing we want

Solos

#

& œ œ œ œ It's

90

Solos

&

#

I bought a pup

py

Solos

my

pock

!

-

et

watch,

it

cost

me

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Marianne

"fif - ty ty." ."

I was so lone

ly

Katt

#

Got my

fish here! Fan

She near - ly

cried

Won W on

a

pool

price.

And pay the

Sup

2

Ó

socks! A

pol

Katt

ter

offf of

-

œ ˙˙ .. œ

ply ply,,

De mand

G

I

think!

œ œ Œ œ œ

Some thing to drink

œœ œœ œ Œ

All

she

had

to

j œœ b ˙˙ # œœ .. œœ

It's

all

on hand

j ‰Kid 4 œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Kid 7 (Tall (Tall Kid)

œ

œ œ œ œ

Kid 3

A pack of cards

ka dot!

pierce

All

of tears!

der land.

Kid 6

Yeah, Y eah, you're bet

œ ##œœ œ Œ

‰ œ. œ œ œ Œ Œ œ ˙. œ ˙˙..

j œ œ œ œ œ œ ##œœ œ Œ œ œ œ

A pair of

Katt kind ly helpedto

F

j œœ bb˙˙˙ œ . œ ˙ b œ . nœ bœ nœ ˙

Kid 5

gup - py!

cy

Matt, Dora, April May

Katt

ask

In

-

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

# œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ &

1115 15

Solos

#

& ˙˙˙... &

œ #œ œ œ

Kid 2

# & œ œ œ œ œ Œ

111

Ó

got

Kid 1 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

do was

Solos

I

more!

Stan

98

104

and

Real - ly top notch

my ears.

Solos

Œ

¿

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Harry

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

& œ œ œ Œ

94

Solos

#

nif - ty

!

Ka - ching!

& ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

86

Œ

œ œ œ

E

I

bought a tea - pot!

œ œ Œ œ œ œ It made me shrink!

Kid 8

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ I booked a foot - man

#6—Supply And Demand

for

my par ty!


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

Solos

&

124

Katt

&

# Kid 9

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ # œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ ‰ œ .. œœ œœ œ œ œ

A rab - bit's note

#

124

Group

&

127

Katt

&

127

Solos

&

129

Katt

!

Œ

Matt, Dora, April May

#

price!

&

!

Group

&

˙˙ ..

#

¿

¿

¿

¿

pid - geon egg,

#

#

dish

A

¿

¿

dra - gon - fly, fly,

!

Won W on

-

of

¿

-

j œœ

hand

˙˙ ..

¿

¿

A

œ œ œ

der

-

j œ w nnœœ w

˙˙ ..

œœ

tarts

It's

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

Sto - len

œ

œ

Ka - ching!

œ

knit-ting nee-dles used as oars, A

¿

by

the Knave of Hearts, A

œ

Ka - ching!

œ

œ

Ka - ching!

œœ

In

¿

Christ - mas

¿

box

¿

and

¿

¿

mince - meat

!

¿

¿

pie.

Œ

Some

¿

¿

Ka - ching!

land.

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

Œ

Ka - ching!

!

bbœœœ ..

We paid the

mand

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

on

¿

Œ

De

œ. ##œœ .

all

Œ œ œ

!

#

quick, white mice!

Ka - ching!

¿

#

Others

We bought fif - ty

œ œ œ

White kid gloves, A

# & bb˙˙ ˙

129

Katt

Sup - ply, ply, Kids (sotto voce)

129

Solos

was tar dy!

H

& b ˙˙

127

Group

'cause I

# & œœ Œ Œ œ œ

124

Solos

Preston & Parker

~~~~ ~~~

1119 19

— 147 —

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

brooch, A shawl, A chest of drawers!

#6—Supply And Demand

w w

!

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ŒÓ

Ev-'ry-thing we want and more!


— 148 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

Vocal V ocal Book

Supply And Demand - Playoff

No. 06a

Voice V oice Tacet Tacet

The Ode - Garden Glees #1 (Accapella)

No. 06b

WARN: W ARN: VIOLET blows an "E" on pitch pipe DAISY:: The rest of you follow along. CUE: DAISY

# ## & # 44

Jazz 4 (q = 142)

Daisy

Lily

V Violet iolet

Rose

# ## 4 & # 4

# ## 4 & # 4 Œ

4

4

Lily

4

V Violet iolet 4

Rose

8

Daisy 8

Lily

8

Violet Violet 8

Rose

& &

& &

! œ œ

Œ

Œ

œ œ Œ

####

####

####

œ œ

œ

œ

Bah dah dah

dah

Bah

Œ

œ œŒ

####

####

œ œ Œ

Boo- boop

œ œ Œ

Won W on

œ.

Bah

-

Boo - boop

œ œŒ

Boo - boop

-

œ œ

j œ œ

œ.

Œ

œ œ

œ

dah dah

dah

œ œ

Bah

Œ

œ œ

Boo - boop

œ œ

œ œ

Œ

Œ

œ

œ

Won W on

-

dah

Bah dah dah

dah

Bah

dah

Bah dah dah

œ œ Œ Boo-boop

œ œ

Œ

Boo-boop

œ œŒ Boo - boop

œ œ Œ

Boo Boo-- boop

œ

œ.

and thir - ty

years may pass

dah

Though

four

and thir - ty

years may pass

œ

Boo - boop

œ Œ

Boo - boop

Œ œ œ œ œ œ.

Four

j œ œ œ

Four and thir - ty

and thir - ty

œ œ œ Œ

years may pass

œ œ œ

years may pass

œ

dah

Boo- boop

œ œ

Œ

Boo- boop

œ œ Boo-boop

œ œ

Œ

Boo-boop -boop

w

œ œ ˙

œ œ ˙

O

œ œ Œ

Boo- boop

Boo -boop

four

œ œ œ J

œ œ Œ

œ

der land!

œ ‰ œ. œ œ J

œ œŒ

œ

œ

j œ œ

O

Though

œ

œ.

œ

j œ œ œ

œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ. œ œ

œ œ Œ

BooBoo- boop

œ œ Œ Boo - boop

Bah dah dah

Boo- boop

Boo - boop

œ.

der land!

dah dah

Œ

œ ‰ œ. œ œ J

dah

Boo - boop

Ó.

!

œ. œ œ

Boo - boop

####

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

!

## & # # œ. &

!

!

Boo - boop Boo - boop Boo - boop Boo - boop Boo - boop Boo - boop ## Œ Œ Œ Œ & # # 44 œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ

## & ## &

!

œ œ Œ

Boo - boop

Daisy

!

Bah

Œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ

Dee - dle dee - dle dee - dle...

Œ

w

Bah

w

Bah

#6a—Supply And Demand—Playoff / #6b—The Ode—Garden Glees #1


W

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 149 —

Vocal V ocal Book

Cheating

No. 07

CUE: "We'll "We'll have to work fast before Bloom comes back!" A

4

# & 44

j r j r œ . œ œj j œ . œ œj j j j j j j j j œj bœ bœ œ œ #œ œ bœ œ œ œ

Alice

Cheat your fate: I'll be your he - ro,

I'm make sure you don't get

j # j. r j j j. r j j œ œ œ j j j j j j œj œ & œ œ œ bœ bœ œ œ # œ œ b œ œ nnœœ Need to pass? I feel your fear, fear, Oh,

10

&

We

# j j j j œ œ œ œ ˙

Pass the sheet a - round

# j. & œ

j r j œ. œ œj bœ bœ

B Allison

can fid - dle just like Ne - ro.

I'll write down the an - swers

j j j j j j r œ œ œ œ œ . œ œj œ

Ask your ques - tions, just

r œ œj œj

-

lice made

a

mov

-

ing case,

j j j j œ #œ #œ œ bœ

why

She

can

help

us

15

Cheat - ing we'll a - void dis - grace she'll make

Ens 3

&

22

Ens 1

&

22

Ens 2

&

Are we all

all can ace We We'll 'll

day!

!

!

a - greed?

Hur - ry up! What does the cau - cus

j j œ œ

j j œ œ

all

save

face

quick - ly meet and cau - cus

!

say?

œ Œ œ Œ

Boys

Œ ##œœ œ Œ œ œ Œ ##œœ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ 3

!

#

!

#

Girls (div) Cheat

3

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

3

3

Cheat

Cheat

3

Cheat

œ 3

œ

œ

œ

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

3

3

Cheat

Cheat

œ Œ œ Œ

Cheat

Cheat

#7—Cheating

3

3

Cheat

Cheat

œ Œ œ Œ

Cheat

Cheat

œ

Cheat Cheat Cheat Cheat

Œ œ œŒ œ œ Œ œ œŒ œ œ ŒœœŒ œ œ Œ œ œ œ 3

3

Cheat

Cheat

3

3

!

C

Cheat

#

by

j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

rit.

& œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ

22

Ens 3

#

test we

j j j j j j r œ œ œ œ œ . œ œj œ w

# & œj œj œj œj ˙

18

18

a

w

don't take all

j # j. r j j j. r j j œ œ œ j j j j j j œj œ & œ œ œ bœ bœ œ œ # œ œ b œ œ nœ nœ A

ze - ro,

j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

7

3

3

œ

Cheat Cheat Cheat Cheat

œ Œ

Cheat

3

œ

Cheat Cheat Cheat


— 150 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

27

Ens 1

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

3

Cheat

Cheat Cheat Cheat Cheat 3

Cheat.

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat Cheat Cheat Cheat

Cheat.

& œ Œ œ Œ

œ

#

3

3

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

Cheat

3

3

3

Cheat

Cheat

œ Œ œ Œ

Cheat

Cheat

U

œ w

Cheat

œ

27

Ens 3

#

œ

3

3

3

& Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œœ œ œ

27

Ens 2

Cheating pg. 2 - 3

# Œ œ Œ 3 œ Œ 3 œ Œ 3 œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ ŒŒœœ œ œ œ ##œœ œ & ##œœ 3

œ Œ œ Œ

Cheat

3

3

Cheat

œ Œ

œ

Cheat Cheat Cheat

Cheat

U

œ w

3

œ

w w

U

w

w

Cheat.

ALLISON W e’re all in agreement. Sandy door. We’re Sandy,, Dee Dee, guard the door. ALICE What do you want to know? PA UL PAUL W ell, start with question one. I mean, what the heck is a walrus doing talking to a carpenter? Well, PREST ON PRESTON Y eah, and what about those oysters? [ALICE sings] Yeah, D

# . Under Dialogue ! Ó. & .

36

&

39

&

#

‰ j.. j j j j j j j j #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ

Alice

3X or V VAMP AMP as needed (last time) The

Car - roll stor - y

j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j jŒ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bbœœ n œ

there to warn: "Don't be mis - lead." A

it

is

said Is

Œ

‰ j #œ #œ

treat - ise on po - lit - i - cal cor - rup - tion.

The

# j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j j œj jŒ Œ ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

# œj œj œj œj œj œj œj j œj œj œj œj œj œj j j j j j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ & wal-rus is well fed and

fat. A

pol-i - ti -cian just like that, He's

fo fo--cused on his per per--son-al con - sump-tion.

The

43

car - pen - ter's there to con - vince The

pub - lic that it all makes sense And

# œj . r Œ ‰ œœ j j j j j j j j j & # œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bbœœ œ

46

ci - e - ty ty..

The

# j j j j & œ œ œ œ ˙

oy - sters: peo - ple

49

in - no - cent laid waste...

eat - en

up

By

that the wal - rus will re - build so -

j j j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

pol - i - ti - cians so

j j œj œj œj Œ œ œ

That's the

#7—Cheating

pre - sump - tion

E

4

cor - rupt, The


W

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 151 — Cheating pg. 3 - 3

Boys Alison j r j r # œj . r j j œj . r j jAliciaj j j œ œ bbœœ œ œ œ œ j œj b œ œj j œj œ œ . œ œj bbœœj œ . œ œj œj & #œ œ

55

Wa Wall - rus - es are ver - y sleaz - y Oys - ters

al - ways make me queas - y

All # Dee Dee & Sandy j j j j & œj # œj œj b œ œj nnœœ œ œ

58

F

Get - ting through this poem's a breeze We

j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

It's a per - fect plan

Sandy j r j r œ .œ œjbbœœj œ .œ œj œj j j jbbœœj j j j œj œ #œ œ œ œ œ

# j j jj j r jj & œ œ œ œ œ.œ œ œ w

Preston

Was the car pen ter Pass the sheet! I need an an-swer Was

fan!

Parker Dee Dee All # œj . r j j œj . r j j j j j j j j j œ œ bœ œ j œ & œ bœ œ œ # œ œ b œ œ nœ nœ œ

65

No I think he was from France, or

did

# & œj œj œj œj ˙

68

I'm

71

Ens 1

&

# œ Grab

# & œ

71

Ens 3

&

œ

Grab

that

œ

œ

Grab

that

œ sheet

need

œ

œ

cheat

sheet

œ

œ

cheat

sheet

lice, could you please

œ

œ

œ

that

cheat

sheet

œ

œ

need

that

cheat

sheet

œ

œ

œ

œ

need

that

cheat

œ

ex-plain to ex-

w me!

j j j j ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

Œ

j j j j ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

Œ

Sandy (spoken)

Here comes Doc - tor Bloom! Dee Dee (spoken)

Here comes Doc - tor Bloom!

!

sheet

w

w

# w

w

w

w

# & w

w

w

w

&

All

now!

now!

74

Ens 3

cheat

j j j j j j r œ œ œ œ œ . œ œj œ

A

œ

did my brain stop work - ing

w

& 74

Ens 2

that

the oy - sters all wear pants or

now!

#7—Cheating

a dan--cer? cer?

j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

# w

G Ens 1

#

œ œ

71

Ens 2

on ques - tion three.

œ

are eas y

j j j j œ œ œ œ ˙

pass a - round the ans - wers

61

Just don't let the cheat cheatsheet sheet hit the

Thanks to A - lice, tests


— 152 —

W OO NN DD EE RR LL AA NN DD HHII GGHH W

Vocal V ocal Book

Arthur Alone

No. 07a

Voice V oice Tacet Tacet

Shakespeare T riumphant Shakespeare Triumphant

No. 07b HARRY Y exits. CUE: HARR

(MUSIC starts) ALICE I should get going. Paul will be waiting. ARTHUR ARTHUR Yeah, eah, I understand... Y ALICE Wish W ish I could... ARTHUR ARTHUR okay.. I'll call you tonight. It's okay (ALICE smiles and exits. ARTHUR ARTHUR looks at the number written on his hand and sings.)

4

b & b b 44 ‰

Gently (under dialogue)

b &bb

8

!

w

w

Feel

like

Ó

Œ

Arthur

ww

(Eb alt)

œ

j œ œ

œ

Did Shake

ww

speare

œ

ev

ww

œ

j œ

er

feel

ww

me?

#7a—Arthur Alone / #7b—Shakespeare Triumphant

w !


W

Vocal V ocal Book

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 153 —

Playoff (Shakespear (Shakespeare) e)

No. 07c

Voice V oice Tacet Tacet

The Ode - Garden Glees #2

No. 07d

(Acappella)

DAISY: "V i, can you give us an "E?" (VIOLET blows an "E" on the pitchpipe) CUE: DAISY: "Vi, Jazz 4 (q = 142)

Lily

Violet Violet

Rose

4

Daisy

4

Lily

4

Violet Violet 4

Rose

7

Daisy

7

Lily

7

Violet Violet 7

Rose

## 4 & ## 4

## & # # 44 Œ

&

####

&

####

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

œ œ

Œ

Boo - boop

Œ

œ œ Œ Boo - boop

œ œ Œ

Boo - boop

œ

œ

dah dah

dah

Bah

œ œ Œ

œ œ

Boo - boop

Œ

Boo - boop

dah

-

j œ

Bah

œ

œ œ

Œ

Bah

Œ

œ.

Œ

œ œ Œ

œ œ

œ

dah dah

dah

œ œ

Boo - boop

Œ

œ œ Boo - boop

Boo - boop

œ œ

Boo - boop

Œ

Œ œ œ

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

Ó.

œ

œ œ Œ

œ œ

œ.

Won W on

œ œ

œ

œ.

dah dah

dah

Bah

Œ

œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ.

œ œ

œ

œ

dah dah

dah

Bah

dah dah

dah

Bah

Œ

Œ

œ

Œ

œ

œ

Œ

Boo - boop

-

-

-

œ œ

Boo - boop

Œ

œ

œ.

four

œ œ

œ

œ

œ.

dah dah

dah

Though

four

Œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ

Boo - boop

Œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ Œ

Boo - boop

œ

œ œ Boo - boop

œ œ Œ

Boo - boop

Though

œ œ

œ œ Œ

Boo - boop

j œ œ

der

Œ

land!

Œ œ

œ

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

O

œ

œ

Boo - boop

œ

land!

œ œ

œ œ

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

Boo - boop

dah

œ

der

‰ œ.

œ

œ ‰ œ. J

Boo - boop

-

Œ

# ## & # œ

œ œ

!

œ œ

Œ

œ.

Œ

O

Bah

Won W on

####

œ œ

!

## & # # œJ &

œ œ Œ

Boo - boop

## & # # œ. ####

!

Bah

# ## 4 & # 4 œ œ Œ

## & ##

&

!

Œ œ.

Four

j œ œ

œ

œ œ J

œ

œ œ œ

œ

and thir - ty

and thir - ty

j œ œ

Four and thir - ty

œ

and thir - ty

#7c—Playoff (Shakespeare) / #7d—The Ode—Garden Glees #2


— 154 —

H II GG HH WWOONNDDEERRLLAANNDD H

# ## & #

10

Daisy

œ œ ˙

years may pass

# ## & # œ œ œ Œ

w

œ

Bah

dee

Œ

10

Lily

10

Violet Violet

&

10

Rose

&

####

####

Dee Dee-- dle dee - dle dee - dle

years may pass

w w

years may pass

Daisy

# ## & # œ.

sand

Lily

to

# ## œ. & # œ.

14

Violet Violet

&

14

Rose

&

####

####

Bah

From

œ œ

œ

œ

dah dah

dah

Bah

Œ

œ

œ

œ

œ

Boo - boop

Œ

œ

Boo - boop

# ## & # ˙.

œ

Ode

re

# ## & # ˙

17

Lily

17

Violet Violet

&

Ode

œ.

Ode #### & œ.

17

Rose

####

Ode

˙

re

j œ œ j œ œ

of

of

œ

old

old

-

-

j œ œ

œ.

stone

œ

to stone

Œ

Œ

œ.

œ œ œ j œ œ

Stone to stone

Stone

œ

veals

the

- veals

œ

-

œ

-

re

to stone

œ pow

-

to stone

œ

er

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

-

re

j œ œ

stone

Boo - boop

œ

the

œ

the

œ

the

veals

veals

pow

œ

pow

œ

pow

œ œ

sea

-

-

-

j œ œ

or

œ œ

œ

dah dah

dah

to

Œ

œ.

Bah

œ.

Boo - boop

17

Daisy

œ

œ.

dee

œ

sand

Œ

Ó

Œ

er

and

grass

grass

œ.

the gold

- en

œ

œ.

j œ œ

œ

œ.

œ

When

œ.

j œ œ j œ œ

the gold

the gold

#7d—The Ode—Garden Glees #2

to grass

to grass

to

grass

When

When

er

œ

œ.

the gold

Boo - boop

œ n œ œ #œ #œ œ

œ

and

-

Œ œ œ

Œ

grass

œ

Boo - boop

j œ œ

and

and

œ œ

Œ

œ.

œ

Œ

j œ œ

œ

j œ œ

When

Œ

Boo - boop

œ.

œ

er

œ œ

œ œ

œ

sea

Boo - boop

Dee - dle dee - dle dee - dle dee

j œ œ

14

Œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Bah

14

œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Dee - dle dee - dle dee - dle dee

Bah

Œ

œ œ œ

Œ

From

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

years may pass

œ œ ˙

Œ

en

œ

- en

œ

- en

j œ œ

grass

The

to grass

The

œ

˙

"

horn

œ

œ

is

blown

œ

œ

˙

blown

"

horn

is

œ

œ

horn

is

blown

œ

blown

œ

horn

is

˙" ˙

"


H II GG HH WWOONNDDEERRLLAA NN DD H

Vocal V ocal Book

Cafetorium Party

No. 8

CUE: MATT MATT: MA TT: "There are many more than five..." Loony h = 152

# & C ..

Matt

!

Ó

2X

April May

# & nnœœ ##œœ œ œ &

#

April May

set

a quad - rants

a

!

œ œ œ œ

quad - ran - gles All

œ œ œ œ

difff - 'rent col - or dif

!

œ œ œ œ

quar - tered off off

in

!

œ ˙.

la - bel.

!

Ó

œ

œ

Once we've

œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ

col - or code And

# & œ œœ œ œ œ Ó

!

16

April May

col - or cod - ed

quad - rant has

!

# & œ œ œ œ

. œ œ . œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ

quad - rants And each

11

A

There are

6

Matt

— 155 —

signed signedaa cer cer--tain -tain ta - ble.

quar - an - tined the

U"

!

nnœœ ##œœ œ œ

quad - rants Then each

œ œ œ œ

per - son is

MATT MATT Wee need a timekeeper! W

An ALARM BELL rings. APRIL MA MAY Y We’re W e’re wasting time.

MAY Y APRIL MA (to AR ARTHUR) THUR) You! Y ou!

DORA (yawning) Time, Time, time, time.

ARTHUR ARTHUR Me?

MATT MATT Yes. timekeeper.. Y es. You You will be the timekeeper ARTHUR ARTHUR Time T ime keeper? MATT MA TT hands AR ARTHUR THUR a stopwatch.

B

APRIL MA MAY Y new,, you may keep time. Since you are new MATT MATT larger I wish I had a lar ger watch, but this is a small time operation.

# & b b ¿¿ Œ Ó ¿¿

20

April May

(Duck Quack)

(DUCK QUACK)

#8—Cafetorium Party

as -


— 156 —

WOO NN DD EE RR LL AA NN DD HH II GG HH W

MAY APRIL MA Y Remember Remember,, you may cut time, mark time and keep time, but you must never beat time. MATT MATT He won’ won’tt stand for beating. DORA Stop... time. MATT MATT Y es, today you will stop time! Remember Yes, Remember,, the fate of lunch is in your hands. ARTHUR ARTHUR The “Fate of Lunch?!”

C

# & b b ¿¿¿ Œ ¿

MATT MATT Y es, I’ve named that watch “The Fate of Lunch.” (DUCK QUACK) Yes,

April May

(Duck Quack)

MATT MATT T ime to play “Menu of the Day!” (F (FANF ANFARE ANF ARE BEGINS) Time (FANFARE APRIL MA MAY Y (shouting) Menu of the Day!

D April May

MATT MATT Oh, it’ it’ss very simple! Dora!

"Menu-of-the-Day Fanfare" Fanfar Maestoso (q = 126) Pr Presto esto (q = 210)

2

# & 44

22

ARTHUR ARTHUR Menu of the Day? How do you play?

44

Ó

21

!

!

!

APRIL MA MAY Y Dora! Dora! Dora!

E

#

27

& œ

Dora

œ

SLOW (colla voce) q = 62

Lis - ten

F

# & C

!

# ˙

˙

31

April May

39

April May

April May

œ

to

these

Less Looney h = 98

&

# & Œ

45

œ

˙

When you

Rhyme

œ

Be

food

œ

what

nnœœ

sim - ple

œ

Œ

!

!

com - plete the men - u

Ó

˙

right,

œ

you

œ œ

There's no

œ

U

!

rules!

Œœ œ œ ˙ ˙

˙

˙

"

(DORA Snor Snores es Loudly)

Œ

˙ b˙

Then you

˙

food

Ó

win

#8—Cafetorium Party

˙

fight.

Œœ œ œ w are near - ly

Œ œ œ œ

A tray for

3

˙

food

in!

b˙ b˙

might

C


W

G 50

Matt

&

— 157 —

ARTHUR ARTHUR What?

ARTHUR ARTHUR What?

ARTHUR ARTHUR Okay. Okay.

APRIL MA MAY Y Win W in the game and win a tray tray.. Then you can enter and eat!

MATT MATT Y You’ll ou’ll see. W Watch. atch.

MATT MA TT No, start the watch! Tempo Tempo Presto!

Cue: T Tempo empo Presto! Loony h = 152

3

#

Ó

Œ

H

œ

We've W e've

# & œ œ œ œ

58

Matt

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

ap - ple tarts and

œ œ œ

tar - ten tarts and scrap ple tarts with heart 'n parts and

œ Œ Œ

œ œ œ œ

œ

cher ry tarts, ca - na - ry tarts, straw - ber - ry tarts and

œ œ œ œ

There's mut - ton tarts and

#

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 44 ˙

63

Matt

quince!

œ

Moderato (q = 108)

but - ton tarts, and yum yum-- ny tarts and crumb - y tarts and swol - len tarts and stosto - len tarts and

69

Matt

&

U

#

C Œ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ Œ Ó Loony h = 152

!

U # & Ó ¿ Œ C Student #2

Ensemble

I

That is cor - rect! (CHEERS)

!

!

!

!

!

!

Ó Œ

Matt

Ensemble

&

#

looh!

! œ

œ

˙

Oh frab

!

# & ˙.

w

Student Ens

Mince?

78

!

˙.

Cal - lay!

! œ

œ œ œ œ

Y You ou won! You You won! Y You ou

! ˙

won!

Oh

#8—Cafetorium Party

so?

! ˙

˙ -

˙

day!

Cal -

!

w frab

#w #w

jous

! ˙

al

! ˙

-

˙

! ˙

jous

#w #w day!


— 158 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

85

Matt

Ensemble

& &

#

!

# ˙

! ˙

Cal

J

!

˙. -

looh!

Cal - lay!

# 4 Œ & 4 œ œ œ œ bbœœ nœ nœ œ SLOW (colla voce) q = 62

90

Dora

T Take ake a tray, tray, a

seat and eat!

!

T Tell ell

œ

˙.

œ

¿

¿

her

¿

¿

what she's

!

44

Ó

¿

won!

44

!

You... You...

K "Fanfar e" "Fanfare" Maestoso (q = 126) Presto Presto (q = 210)

!

(SNORE)

2

!

!

!

STUDENT #2 gets a tray and FANFARE exits on FANF F ANFARE ANF ARE

U

!

C

MATT MATT What was the time?

MATT MATT can’t imagine! Five? I can’t

ARTHUR ARTHUR 15 seconds?

MAY Y APRIL MA Oh you must!

MA MATT TT: MATT: Let’ Let’ss try for ten! APRIL MA MAY Y T Try ry for five! Try Try For five!

Matt (secretly delighted) Well, if I must! Well, (Crowd “oohs”) But you must join me!

MATT MATT Unheard of! My PB is seven!

MAY Y APRIL MA Why? Are you coming apart?

DORA (waking to explain “PB”) Personal Best.

MATT and APRIL MA MAY Y chortle. STUDENTS laugh loudly MATT MATT abruptly cuts them off off and becomes serious. until MATT MATT MATT (takes a deep breath) Go!! ARTHUR starts the stopwatch. MUSIC much faster ARTHUR

L

# & C

100

Matt

April May

3

Really Loony h = 201

# & C

3

Ó Œ

œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

There's tur - key soup and chick - en soup and jerk - y soup and thickthick - en soup and

!

˙

When

˙

you

Œ œ œ œ ˙

˙

com-plete the men - u

#8—Cafetorium Party

!

"


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

# & œ œ œ

108

Matt

# & ˙

len - til soup, good

April May

Then

113 113

Matt

April May

& &

#

you

œ œ œ œ

œ œ

˙

There's no

# 4 & 4 ˙

flap - per soup and

U

Moderato (q = 108)

April May

# 4 & 4 œŒ Ó

Ensemble

# & 44

win!

U

Student #3

Ó ¿ Œ C

# & ##ww

˙

˙

day!

133

Matt

Ensemble

& &

#

-

˙.

œ

might

Be what you

!

!

!

!

!

!

!

(CHEERS)

!

!

Ó Œ

Student Ens.

! ˙

jous

#w #w day!

Cal - lay!

! ˙

œ œ œ œ

You You won! Y You ou won! Y You ou

! ˙

˙.

Cal - looh!

! œ

˙.

Cal - lay!

#8—Cafetorium Party

œ Y You... ou...

44

Œ œ œ œ

!

!

œ

4 4

!

!

˙.

right

tur - tle soup is

œ

w

Oh frab

Cal - looh!

!

# ˙

food

˙

œ œ œ œ

myr - tle soup, fake

M

pu - py soup and

food

œ œ œ œ ˙

œ œ œ œ ˙

Mock?

126

Ensemble

That is cor - rect!

C

!

!

tray for

C Œ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ Œ Ó

U

sad - ly... ly...

Œ œ œ œ

Loony h = 152

Ó Ó

˙

snap - per soup and

A

˙

Rhyme

œ œ œ œ

fight,

œ

There's

˙

in!

˙

food

hock!

w

are near - ly

œ œ œ œ

# Ó

gen - tle soup and

Œ œ œ œ

gup - py soup and

118 118

Matt

men - tal soup and

b˙ b˙

œ Œ Œ

œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ

œ

— 159 —

˙

won!

˙

Oh

¿ ¿ ¿ ¿ ¿

T Tell ell her what she's won!

!

˙ -

˙

jous

w frab

Ó !

-

44 44


— 160 —

WWO ON ND DE ER RL LAANNDD HHIIGG HH

"Fanfare" "Fanfar e" O Maestoso (q = 126) Pr Presto esto (q = 210)

2

N

# Œ & 44 œ œ œ œ bœ b œ nnœœ œ

140

Dora

SLOW (colla voce) q = 62 T Take ake a tray, tray, a

seat and eat!

!

(SNORE)

!

!

!

!

U"

!

STUDENT #3 gets a tray and EXITS on FANF F FANFARE ANFARE ANF ARE

MATT MATT Timekeeper? Timekeeper?

ARTHUR ARTHUR No…

ARTHUR ARTHUR 6 seconds...

MATT MATT Why!

(STUDENTS react. MATT MATT silences them.)

ARTHUR ARTHUR Hey…

MATT MATT (controlling HIS emotions) Six? W ell, that's okay. okay. Still a personal best. Well, (MUSIC STAR ST ARTS, AR TS, meas 150 - REPEAT REPEAT under dialogue) STARTS, (turning on ARTHUR, ARTHUR, slowly) now, it’ And now, it’ss your turn.

MATT MATT Horses! ARTHUR ARTHUR I think you’re nuts and maybe certifiably in…

ARTHUR ARTHUR My turn?

MATT MATT ARTHUR) (right with ARTHUR) I think you’re nuts and maybe certifiably insane and belong in a booby hatch!

MATT MATT Y es! Y our chance to eat lunch. Yes! Your

CUE: ST OP REPEA REPEAT T 150 STOP

ARTHUR ARTHUR But...

I win. Give me the watch. ARTHUR and shakes it vigorously. vigorously. (HE takes the watch from ARTHUR slowly, almost menacingly.) menacingly.) It starts up slowly,

MATT MATT Heads!

(The ticking gradually increases in tempo as HE sings)

REPEAT REPEAT meas 150 CUE to start: "Personal Best" CUE to stop: "Booby Hatch"

# & ..

150

Matt

!

In 4

# & œ œ œ œ

154

Matt

U .. Ó .

Menacingly {q = 92)

ger - bil tea and

œ

There's

œ œ œ œ

dump - ty

tea, And

œ

œ

her - bal

œ

tea,

œ œ œ œ

fla vored tea and

#8—Cafetorium Party

œ

and

œ

œ

hump - ty

œ œ œ œ

sa vored tea and

œ

tea,

œ

and

œ œ œ œ

wa vered tea and


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

# & œ Œ Œ

accel.

159

Matt

orange.

164

Matt

œ œ œ œ

œ

— 161 —

œ œ œ œ

urk - ish tea and There's T Turk

murk - ish

œ œ œ œ

tea, and

œ œ œ œ

oo - long tea and

too long tea, and

3

P

#

& œ

œ

œ

steep - ing

œ

œ

tea

and

œ

œ

sleep - ing

˙

œ

tea,

but

nev

-

˙

ARTHUR: It's a trick. ARTHUR: There is no rhyme for "orange."

er... er...

(STUDENTS GASP)

# & ¿ Œ Ó

Menacingly {q = 92)

170

Matt

Ensemble

&

#

You Y ou

# & œ

# & ˙

œ

¿

C

cor - rect! (CHEERS)

!

# & w

frab

œ

œ

tea

and

œ

hump

Œ

˙

When

Ensemble

Are

!

her - ball

April May

¿

¿ Œ Ó

C

!

!

Ó

!

Œ

Ó

Œ

œ

There's

œ

Oh

175

Matt

Œ Œ

Q Loony h = 152

you

-

˙ -

-

-

œ

œ

œ

œ

ty

tea

and

ger

œ

œ

œ

˙

com - plete

-

˙

jous

#8—Cafetorium Party

the

men

#w #w

day!

-

œ

œ

bil

tea

-

˙ u

œ

and


— 162 —

W W OO NN DDEERRLLAANNDD HHI IG GH H

178

Matt

April May

Ensemble

& & &

# #

dump - ty

œ

œ

œ

tea,

And

!

fla

- vored

#

# & w

tea

Then

-

¿ Œ

-

ered

# & œ

œ

œ

tea,

It's

184

Matt

April May

Ensemble

&

#

œ

won!

You You

œ

œ

&

# Ó

&

˙

murk - ish

# -

œ

won!

œ

You You

œ

tea

and

œ

œ

There's

-

œ

¿ Œ

fun!

˙

Œ

˙

jous

no

Œ

˙

food

##ww

œ

œ

are

œ

tea

and

œ

œ

near

-

ly

œ

lay!

Y You ou

There's

œ

œ

œ

˙

Rhyme

food

œ

frab

tea

˙

fight

day!

#8—Cafetorium Party

œ

and

œ

T Turk urk - ish

œ

too

Œ

˙

œ

tea

œ

and

˙

right

w

Oh

oo - long

˙

-

œ

won!

œ

Œ

œ

won!

done!

Ensemble

œ

˙.

Cal

I

œ

sav - ored

œ

looh!

œ

œ

and

you

˙.

˙

œ

b˙ b˙

Arthur:

& œ

œ

œ

˙

Cal

wav

April May

œ

# ˙

181

Matt

œ

-

-

œ

œ

-

œ

long

tea,

and

œ

œ

œ

A

tray

for

˙

-

Cal


W OO NN DD EE RR LL AA NN DD HH II GGHH W

187

Matt

R

#

& œ

# & ˙

œ

œ

steep - ing

April May

tea

# & ˙.

œ

Matt

April May

Ensemble

& & &

#

April May

Ensemble

-

Mean

w

U

WON!

U

WON!

w ww w

!

w w

ww

œ

Arthur:

tea,

and

you

just

œ

œ

w

w

œ

you

lay!

ww

!

I

just

just

œ

won!

w

You Y ou

Y You ou

won!

You Y ou

w

ww

w

ww

w

w

w

ww w

# www

WON!

# ww & w &

œ

WON!

(DORA Snor Snores) es)

195

Matt

Œ

S Looniest h = 201

!

#

œ

˙.

Cal

U

#

œ

sleep - ing

and

might

looh!

191

œ

b˙ b˙

food

Ensemble

— 163 —

#

w

# www &

w ww

w

w ww

n bbwwww

w

bbwwww

Ó Ó Ó Ó

I

¿¿ You Y ou

¿

You Y ou

¿

You Y ou

#8—Cafetorium Party

won!

Œ Œ Œ

¿ ¿

won!

¿

won!

won!

Œ

Ó

Œ

Ó

Œ

Ó


— 164 —

H II GG HH WWOONNDD EE RR LL AA NN DD H

Vocal V ocal Book

What Do Y You ou Say?

No. 09 CUE: "Wow "Wow." "W ow." "Wow "W "Wow." ow." (over music) HARRY HARRY Can I talk to you, Arthur? MARIANNE Can I talk to you, Boss?

Harry

Arthur

6

Harry

Arthur

& &

# 4 & 4 .. # 4 & 4 ..

# #

œ œ œ œ œ Œ

Arthur

qui - et...

& œ œ œ

œ œ

#

when she's

when she's

16

Harry

Marianne

Katt

& & &

..

!

What do you say... say...

What do you say

to a

!

What do you say

!

Œ

œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙

girl

!

#

œ œ

to a girl?

!

œ œ

when she's

œ œ

Ó

qui - et?

!

œ œ œ œ œœœœ

What do you say

!

to a girl

œ œ œ œ œœœœ

What do you say

Œ Œ

œ œ

And you

!

œ

˙.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

like her?

How does a

!

qui

!

-

et

guy

to a girl

œ œ œ œ œ œ get

a

!

qui - et

qui - et?

!

w

#

girl?

#

What do you say say... ...

œ œ œ œ œ Œ !

Ó

œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙

What do you say?

# & œ œ œ

B

.. œ œ œ œ œ Œ

!

!

!

11

Harry

!

A

!

œ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙

What do you say

!

to a guy?

Ó !

!

!

!

œ œ œ œ œ œœ

œ œ œ œ œ Œ

What do you say?

#9—What Do You Say?

What do you say

!

to a


W OO NN DD EE RR LL AA NN DD HH II GGHH W 21

Marianne

Katt

& &

27

Marianne

&

C 31

Arthur

&

34

Arthur

Katt

& &

37

Arthur

Katt

& &

42

Harry

&

Arthur

&

Marianne

&

Katt

&

# #

Œ

˙

guy

œ

œ œ

œ

when you're

!

Ó

nerner - vous?

!

!

!

œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ

œœ œ œ œ

Why don't you say

#

œ

œ

How does

#

a

#

œ

ner

just

say

Œ

bœ bœ

out!

œ

-

bœ bœ #œ œ #œ You You can't

#

œ

œ

vous

œ

œ

œ

girl

it,

# # # #

!

! ! œ œ ˙

it

œ Œ Ó

œ

say, say,

œ

just

But I

I feel like I'm gon - na

!

˙.

like you?"

bœ bœ #œ œ œ #œ

you!"

Y You ou can't just

œ

blurt

it

!

œ

œ

say

it:

D Slower - Colla Voce Voce q = c 120

œ œ œ œ œ

Talk Talk a - bout the way

!

œ

she

œ

œ

œ

"I

œ

like

you!"

!

œ ˙

makes you

!

Œ

œ

feel.

œ œ œ œ œ

œ

Talk Talk a - bout the feel - ings

œœ œ œ œ œ

!

œ

boy. boy.

out!

!

œ œ

!

Œ

œ

!

w

ner - vous

like

Œ Œ

"Hey,, I'm ner - vous... "Hey

bbœœ

bbœœ

!

! œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ !

a

Ó

!

Bet - ter to get

tell

"I

I

#

to the guy

œ œ œ œ œ bœ

œ

!

#

— 165 —

œ bbœœ ˙

!

!

!

!

!

lose my meal.

! !

Ó

w œ œœ !

you con - ceal.

!

!

!

Ó

œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙

œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙

Go and tell that qui - et

#9—What Do You Say?

!

Go and tell that ner - vous girl.

3

What an or - deal!

E Freely Freely

boy. boy.

! Ó


— 166 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

49

Pno.

&

&

#

Ó"

Cl.

œ

œ

œ

œ

?#

50

Pno.

#

MUSIC stops. HARRY HARRY and MARIANNE both start talking at once.

!

œ

Fl.

œ

HARRY HARR Y say... Listen, Marianne, I have to say ...

œ

œ

Π"

MARIANNE Can I just say one…? I just want to…

THEY stop as MUSIC plays, then start up again TOGETHER TOGETHER when MUSIC stops.

? # Ó.

HARRY HARRY Marianne, I’ve always wanted…

MARIANNE Oh, it’ okay, you can go first… it’ss okay,

Again, THEY stop. Music plays and THEY start up again TOGETHER TOGETHER (over MUSIC)

Pno.

&

#

A. Sx.

œ

?# Œ

œ

œ

œ œ œ

w

"

!

HARRY HARRY Uh, oh, uh… oh gosh…

!

MARIANNE Sorry,, oh, ummm… Sorry

STOPS, As MUSIC ST OPS, THEY giggle and HARRY HARRY snorts. THEY giggle some more. THEY start up slowly again, singing. F 53

Harry

Marianne

& &

# #

I want to

Ó

# & Ó &

œ

say

#

"Oh,

Mar

say say,,

What did you

say?

œ

You You

-

œ i

œ -

anne

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

œ

ma - ny rea - sons why

There's

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Har

œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ œ

What did you

œ

œ œ œ œ

AT Tempo empo

57

Marianne

œ œ œ œ œ

I want to

G Harry

Slower - Colla Voce Voce q = c 120

say?

- ry, ry,

I want to

say

to

œ

like

œ

me

I

feel the same way

œ too?

œ

Now

too

like you

that

Œ

you do

I

real - ly like you!

‰ œj w for

me!

W Won on - der - land is won - der - ful for

me!

#9—What Do You Say?

Ó

j ‰ ‰ ‰ ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 'Cause

œ

I

œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

w


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

61

Harry

Arthur

Marianne

Katt

& & & &

66

Harry

Arthur

Marianne

Katt

& & & &

# #

œ œ œ œ œœ œœ

Did I just blurt

!

#

!

!

#

!

# & 44 w

70

# 4 & 4 w

what

Arthur

# & 44 w

what

Marianne

Katt

# & 44 w

bbww to

bbww to

w

what

to

what

w

to

shout!

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boy boy... ...

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thoughts and

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— 167 —

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vous

j 4 œ œ œ œ œ 4 j œ œ œ œ œ 44

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#9—What Do You Say?

Œ Ó


— 168 —

ON E RL AL AN ND D HHI IGGHH WW O N DD E R

Vocal V ocal Book

In W Wonderland onderland

No. 10

CUE: AR ARTHUR: THUR: "You're "You're better than they are." (music starts) ALICE: (over music): "I can't expect you to understand."

4

Slowly at First q = 126

3 &4

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20

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39

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51

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29

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W

W ONDERLAND HIGH O N D E R L A N D H I G H

— 169 —

D

b & b b ˙.

56

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#10—In Wonderland


— 170 —

ON E RL AL AN ND D HHI IGGHH WW O N DD E R

Vocal V ocal Book

Entr'acte

No. 10a

Voice V oice Tacet Tacet

Girls

No. 1 1 11

CUE: HARRY HARRY: HARR Y: "The opposite sex! A piece of cake. It's girls I don't understand." Jaunty h = 80

Arthur

Harry

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thing.

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Harry

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& ˙

16

Arthur

what

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what

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22

Arthur

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Harry

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do sil - ly things And it catchcatch - es you of offf

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!

cov ered in oil

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16

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!

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&

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!

as

w

hard!

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your


ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

!

27

Arthur

&

Harry

I

& ˙

˙

˙

strip and lay bare

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us

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us

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their

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45

Harry

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32

Harry

!

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like girls when they

32

Arthur

! j j œ #œ #œ

& œ œ œ

27

— 171 —

Con - fus

w

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pre

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us

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j j j j j j j j œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

like girls when they mean what they say say,,

!

˙

!

But they're


— 172 —

ONDERLAND HIGH WW O N D E R L A N D H I G H

# j & # œj œj œj œ œ

w

57

Arthur

# & #

not mean while say

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61

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