Faceoff
P. 7
Summer 2007
faceoff : sororities the michigan review
Sororities About Forging Relationships
Better Alternatives to the Shallowness of Sorority Life
By Lindsey Dodge, ‘10
By Amanda Nichols, ‘07
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had always assumed that I would join a sorority. It is rather an unusual assumption, as I have never considered myself a huge partier, unnecessarily sluttish, or a reflection of any other components of the sorority stereotype. However, when I stop to think about it, the decision really makes a lot of sense. For one thing, I have no sisters, and two brothers. This means that my life pre-college was a never-ending stream of fart jokes, dead baby jokes, and no food in the pantry. This is not to say that I do not love my brothers, but there was always a void in the category of feminine companionship. Next, at a big University like Michigan, it is essential to find a core group of friends; if only to help you navigate the one-way streets of Ann Arbor. A sorority is an excellent way to make a big school manageable, because it gives you a base camp with friendly girls and a house mom. Besides the creation of new friendships, it is plain utilitarian. Furthermore, I suppose I am one of those people who enjoy engaging in activities solely because they differ from peoples’ perspectives of me. Something about joining a sorority, when on first impression people would more likely clue into my bizarre sense of humor or ridiculous vocabulary, tickled me pink. If nothing else, I said to myself, Rush will be an experience. So there I was, first day of Rush, standing in front of house of screaming girls vaguely wondering, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” Yet even more than this fleeting thought, was the sense that I was doing something really exciting, extremely fun, and inevitably profitable to me. People tend to overrate stereotypes. Teachers and administrators make a big deal about the adverse effect stereotypes have on our impressionable lives. Yet other peoples’ opinions are so often fleeting, especially with regards to sororities. Ten years from now, when all fifty thousand of us are scrambling for jobs in the workplace, our future employer will not ask, “So, were you at the library on January 23rd like you said you were?” However, the chances are in your favor that your future employer may have a Greek affiliation, and may even be a part of your very own sorority or fraternity. This aspect shows not so much the cliché of undying camaraderie but the fact of perpetual connections in the working world. This is not to underestimate the fantastic relationships I have developed in only a year of participating actively in my sorority. Already these are girls that I have found to be equals, and better than me, in all manners of academic and extracurricular affairs. However, for the more cynical out there, there is certainly a material benefit to being a member of the Greek system. Another classic stereotype is that sorority girls engage in horrific cult and indoctrination practices. This is simply untrue. I love my sorority, and it loves me. I love my sorority, and it loves me. I love…Where was I? Ah yes. It should be made acknowledged that at the University of Michigan and Greek houses nationwide there are stringent anti-hazing regulations. If anything, the recent controversy at DePauw University should demonstrate that sororities that do not toe the line will not be tolerated. Lastly, people tend to underestimate the “bonds of sisterhood.” Yes, it is a cliché. People often ask me, as a sorority sister, if I like every one of my sisters. Honestly, probably not. Perhaps that is because I do not know these girls well enough, but it is entirely possible that we just would not get along. However, I do like the vast majority of girls, and what is more, I respect all of them. By going through Rush, and initiation, and years together at the University, you develop some really meaningful relationships, which is the whole purpose of Greek life. MR
h, sorority life. The beautiful old homes on Hill, Tappan and Washtenaw; the lines of gleaming, perfect cars in the driveways; the manicured lawns. Coupled with the bonds of sisterhood forever and some cute letters to throw on a sweatshirt, it’s every girl’s dream, right? For some, maybe. But here at Michigan, that dream is just that—a dream. Trust me, I know. I went through Rush—the vernacular term for sorority recruitment here at U-M— and hell, I even pledged… at least for a little while. But then I realized just how little Greek life had to offer, and how much I was missing out on by binding my time and my image to my three Greek letters. But I have to admit—at first, I was one of those girls who believed sorority life would be perfect for me. Stately houses, and sisterly bonds with other girls based on mutual respect and common interests. Riiiiight. I wised up after about two days on camps, because, well, that’s when Rush started. I had hardly even met my roommate when I was suddenly herded along the streets of Ann Arbor with 800 other girls, who suddenly claimed to be the best of friends. Seriously? The same girls you’re virtually competing with for spots at certain houses? And what’s this “sisterhood” based on— waiting in line outside PIKE the night before? But I— we, really— followed our guides diligently, because we didn’t know what else to do. They had hooked us early— before we knew any better. Bright-eyed freshmen girls at Michigan truly are a different breed because it’s becoming so difficult to get into U-M; they, more than anyone else on campus, want to be involved in something and they want to be involved in it the moment they enter Ann Arbor. And with such an early recruitment, does the Greek system ever have a deal for them! Not only will it get them out of Markley or Bursley next year without having to deal with the sharkinfested waters of off-campus housing, but they can live with lots of girls who look, act, think, and drink alike! And, on top of that, you can make the world a better place through philanthropy! Yeah, right. In my rush experience, philanthropy was the cornerstone of each house’s pitch to its potential new members. And then, well, once they had us in the door, it seemed to vanish into thin air. Helping the less fortunate? That could wait until Greek Week in March. Instead, there was some more important volunteerism going on—who’ll offer to play beer pong? Not necessarily a bad thing, but not something I really wanted to pay several thousand dollars each year to do; I could do that on my own. That, of course, brings me to the money. Dues, room and board, and the inevitable extraneous expenses of being part of the most fashion-conscious group on campus certainly add up, and add up very quickly. For what, though? Sisterhood? Sudden popularity? Stretch pants? The lovely male companionship? I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to pay over $1,000 in dues alone to have frat boys ogle me; I can go to Skeep’s and get that sort of treatment for free. Now don’t think I’m hating on sorority girls—although it’s hard not to hate some of them, in their vacuum-sealed stretch pants, moon boots, and the I-just-had-sex hairdos; in fact, my sister (my biological sister, not the fake kind) is a sorority girl herself, albeit at a different school. Condoleeza Rice and Ruth Bader Ginsberg were sorority girls, too. But really, at a university this large, Greek life doesn’t—and can’t, really—hold a monopoly on creating a smaller community within this otherwise impersonal and overwhelming institution. Instead of being suckered in by the promises of sisterhood, philanthropy, and fun, find something else to do. You actually might be able to achieve real relationships based on more than a shared love for Natty Light, and maybe—just maybe!—you can use that U-M education to actually do some good in the world. MR
Learning to Love (Or At Least Live With) Your Roommate By Marie Cour, ‘08
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either of my roommates freshman year really liked wearing clothing. Both of them chose to spend as much of the year walking around our room in as little as might be necessary to be considered decent. Despite spending the first few months in college dismayed by their behaviors, I ultimately became good friends with one of my roommates. I still found the other to be annoying and obnoxious. In the end, I learned that some battles, such as addressing your roommates’ fondness for nudity, may not be worth the fight. Nevertheless, even those lucky people who seem to be assigned “soul mates” rather than roommates almost invariably find their living situation challenging. Indeed, sharing the small space of a dorm room often seems to be one of the biggest challenges in adjusting to college life. There is virtually no privacy, and you are forced to negotiate living arrangements with a person, or persons, you just met. How
can one handle, or preclude, the conflicts that arise over these tensions? The most significant piece of advice that I can give is to address potential problems at the beginning of the semester. And be sure that you mention all of your behaviors that might be considered odd for a college student. For example, if you plan on waking up at 6 a.m. to go to the gym, mention that. Your night-owl roommate probably will appreciate knowing that you wake-up a few short hours after he went to bed. Discuss how you will manage these differences, and be sure to write down your solutions. That way, you can refer to the compromises that you made at the beginning of the semester, and both of you can make reasonable demands. More importantly, this early discussion can be important because it opens up lines of communication that help both of you if you find that you have any problems living together. Possibly most important in forming a good relationship with your roommate is showing basic courtesy. Do not throw your roommate out of the room if she is sick. Do not
leave four-month-old milk in your refrigerator. Do clean up after yourself. Do try to get to know your roommate at the beginning of the year. If you understand the person who is sharing the tiny box that you call home, it will become easier to compromise. For some roommate pairs, basic courtesy will lead to life-long friendships. For others, the only thing freshman roommates can do is to provide them with stories to tell to friends back home. The good news is that even if you do room with Satan’s mistress, there are distractions at the University of Michigan. College life is not necessarily defined by the person you live with your first year in college, but it is defined by how you live outside of the dorm. So take advantage of all of the opportunities at Michigan. Join student and Greek organizations, meet other people in your dorms, go to events, and get to know Ann Arbor. Large as the school is, there are people who will welcome your friendship, and you can probably find someone else whose roommate is worse than yours. MR