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Asheville Area Arts Council: The Artery Community arts facility at 346 Depot St. Tues.-Sat., 11am-4pm. Info: • Through TU (8/21) - AAAC seeks volunteers for the Tangerine Ball on Sept. 15. Volunteers are also needed for the pre-Tangerine Ball fashion show on Aug 23. Info: Big Brothers Big Sisters of WNC Located at 50 S. French Broad Ave., Room 213, in the United Way building. The organization matches children from single-parent homes with adult mentors. Info: or 253-1470. • Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks people to mentor one hour a week in schools and after-school sites. Volunteers age 18 and older are also needed to share outings in the community twice a month with youth from single-parent homes. Activities are free or low-cost. Info: or 253-1470. Buncombe County Jail • Volunteers are sought for a variety of programs with inmates from Buncombe County Jail. Must be 21 years or older. Info: 9899459. Council on Aging • Volunteers are needed to drive seniors to doctor appointments as part of the Call A Ride program. Volunteers use their own vehicles; mileage reimbursement is available. Info: www. or 277-8288. Goombay Festival • Through WE (8/1) Goombay Festival will accept volunteers for its Aug. 24, 25 and 26 festival through Aug. 10. Info: www.goombayavl. com or (925) 207-3405. Hands On Asheville-Buncombe Youth are welcome on many projects with adult supervision. Info: or call 2-1-1. Visit the website to sign up for a project. • TH (7/26), 11am-12:30pm - Shake and Bake: Cook and serve a homemade lunch to the men staying at the ABCCM Veterans Restoration Quarters and Inn. Both men and women are encouraged to participate. • SA (7/28), 10am-noon - In the Garden: Help prepare the Emma Community Garden for planting and harvest. Much of the harvest will eventually be distributed to the community through a food pantry. • MO (7/30), 7-8:30pm - Cookie Night: Help bake

cookies for Lewis Rathbun Center families. Supplies provided.

Literacy Council of Buncombe County Located at 31 College Place, Building B, Suite 221. Info: 254-3442, ext. 205. • Volunteers are needed to tutor adults in basic literacy skills including reading, writing, math and English as a second language. No prior tutoring experience required. Tutors will receive 15 hours of training as well as ongoing support from certified professionals. Orientation will be held Sept 5 and 6. Info: MotherLove Mentor • The YWCA MotherLove program seeks volunteers to provide support and encouragement to teen mothers. A commitment of eight hours per is month required. Info: 254-7206. New Opportunities Thrift Store • The Opportunity House, 1411 Asheville Highway, Hendersonville, seeks donations for the New Opportunities Thrift Store. Volunteers also needed during store hours. Info: 692-0575. Partners Unlimited • Partners Unlimited, a program for at-risk youth ages 10-18, seeks volunteer tutors and website assistance. Info: or 281-2800. Project Linus • Project Linus, a volunteer group which provides handmade blankets to children in crisis, seeks new members. Info: 645-8800. RiverFest • RiverLink seeks volunteers for RiverFest. Opportunities include parking cars, pulling rafts, pouring beer and more. Info: or 252-8474. Youth for Understanding USA • Through FR (8/31) - Youth for Understanding USA seeks host families for its exchange programs through Aug. 31. Info:

CALENDAR DEADLINE The deadline for free and paid listings is 5 p.m. WEDNESDAY, one week prior to publication. Questions? Call (828)2511333, ext. 365

newsoftheweird ers live through the coming apocalypse. (It’s unclear whether believers need to "survive," since many view the apocalypse as a fast track to heaven for the faithful.) After some comparative shopping, the Talking Points Memo blog found many of Bakker's items to be overpriced by up to 100 percent. Bakker also offers the devout a $100 Silver Solution Total Body Cleanse Kit, which includes enemas.

read dailY Read News of the Weird daily with Chuck Shepherd at www. Send items to or PO Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679

The newesT human righT

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Of the world's 7 billion people, an estimated 2.6 billion lack access to toilets, and every day a reported 4,000 children die from sanitationrelated illnesses. However, in May, in Portland, Ore., Douglas Eki and "Jason" Doctolero were awarded $332,000 for wrongful firing after they complained about having to use facilities at businesses adjacent to Menzies Aviation’s Portland International Airport site. Opting to use buckets instead, the men continued to complain, saying they felt unwelcome at those places. One juror said afterward that having easy access to a toilet was a "basic human right," citing the "dignity [of] being able to go to the bathroom within 30 seconds or a minute." Said Doctolero, "Hopefully, no one will have to suffer what I went through."

The enTrepreneurial spiriT • When Sherry Bush returned to her Westlake, Ohio, home in May, she found an "invoice" written on a napkin from "Sue Warren," billing her $75 for a housecleaning Warren had done while Bush was out. Bush never heard of Warren, other Westlake residents had reported Warren's aggressive acquisition of "clients." "Did you get the wrong house?" Bush asked Warren after finding "Sue Warren Cleaning" online. "No," said Warren, "I do this all the time. I just stop and clean your house." Warren wasn’t immediately charged with a crime. • Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker, who still owes the IRS a reported $6 million, now sells a line of "survival" products to help true believ-

• Medical Marvel: A 63-year-old South Korean woman bit into a portion of squid and later felt "buglike organisms" moving around in her mouth. According to doctors at the National Center for Biotechnology Information in Bethesda, Md., the squid had probably expelled its spermatophores as if it were attempting insemination. (In the West, squids’ internal organs are removed before it’s consumed, but apparently not in South Korea.) A scientist who’s worked with squid commented on the professional network Science 2.0, "I've probably had hundreds of spermatophores ejaculate on my fingers and never felt a sting." • In June, a Singaporean startup venture announced that it’s developed an adult diaper made of "Sofshell," a substance that hardens on contact and redistributes weight — so that if seniors fall on their rear ends, the impact will be absorbed, reducing the risk of broken bones. One of the developers demonstrated by dropping a bowling ball on a cellphone protected by the material; it suffered not a scratch. • In a recent issue of the journal Biology Letters, researchers at the National University of Singapore described how a certain species of male tropical spider seemingly improves its chances of successful mating by castrating itself after releasing sperm. Testes removal, the scientists hypothesize, makes the male nimbler and better able to trick and outflank competitors attempting to reinseminate the same female. Enhanced mobility also enables the male to avoid another spider-mating hazard: being killed by the female.

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leading economic indicaTors Hard Times: (1) In May, the Missoula (Mont.) Sheriff's Office was investigating the theft of a 1976 Ford Pinto (with four flat tires) from the victim's yard. (2) In Mesa, Ariz., in May, Manuel Ovalle, 35, was charged with burglary after allegedly breaking into a home and taking a Playstation 3 and two bags of water from the home's swimming pool. (Ovalle told police his own home has no water supply.)

criTTers' world • Suspicions Confirmed: In May, scientists from Lund University's Primate Research Station Furuvik in Sweden said they have evidence that chimpanzees can delay using weapons they encounter, hide them and retrieve them later for use against "foes." The weapons were stones and chunks of concrete, and the enemies were zoo visitors who annoyed the chimps. The researchers said 33-year-old chimp Santino took pains to hide the weapons in easily accessible places, maximizing the element of surprise against the visitors. • Bullfighting may be on the wane in some countries because of complaints about cruelty, but the village of Aproz, Switzerland, there’s has a replacement: cow-fighting contests. According to a Wall Street Journal dispatch, this is serious business. Alain Balet, whose cow Manathan has won the heavyweight title three years running, "follows training regimens worthy of professional athletes," including engaging masseuses. The action, however, is mostly head-butting (plus "abundant slobber," the Journal reported), and the "contest" is won when one of the cows loses interest and wanders away. Balet pointed out an obvious advantage to raising these bovines: "It's still a cow. I can eat her."

redneck chronicles In May, police in Decatur, Ala., were called to a home on South Locust Street to investigate a gunshot. A 61-year-old man, who’d been drinking beer to ease his toothache, had attempted to shoot out the tooth with a .25-caliber pistol. He was hospitalized.

Celebrate Everything Organic! September 8th 10am -6pm Vendors: Don’t forget early registration ends July 31st! We welcome organic businesses, farmers, and service-providers to celebrate our 10th annual Organicfest. • 828.253.2267

expires 7/31/12 • JULY 25 - JULY 31, 2012 33

Mountain Xpress, July 25 2012  
Mountain Xpress, July 25 2012  

Independent news, arts, events and information for Asheville and Western North Carolina