Happy Mother’s Happy Day!
How fatherhood is different for Black Dads
TIPS ON PARENTING ADULT CHILDREN A MAKE ER SUMM ET BUCK LIST! MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Avoid Summer “Brain Drain”
LIBRARY READING PROGRAMS Is your child ready to hit the waves?
Surf’s Up! THE MOTHER LOAD
What the pandemic is revealing about how much of the day-to-day parenting falls on mothers1 montereybayparent.com
PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION PAINT PARTIES RESERVE NOW!
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MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Monterey Bay Parent Magazine February 2021
That time you tried to channel HGTV. 8 a.m.–8 p.m. every day including holidays Walk in or make a reservation online
Smarter, faster urgent care. Visit-related X-rays, lab work, and medications onsite and included in your co-pay or flat fee.
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
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CARMEL 26135 Carmel Rancho Blvd., Suite B-1
Contents june 2021
in each issue: 08 Father’s Day Local dad, Rob Weisskirch covers parenting topics from a dad’s point of view. 13 Dear Teacher Two long time teachers answer your questions about education.
Summer Bucket List. From simple joys to outings that require planning, creating a “summer bucket list” is a great way to kick off your summer.
Summer Reading Programs. Help the kids avoid “summer brain drain” with a summer filled with reading. Register your kids for one of these local library reading programs to give them some incentive to hit the books.
Products We Love. Our recommendations for products both you and kids will love.
Hang Ten: Kids Learning to Surf. For kids growing up around the Monterey Bay, the question of whether they should learn to surf usually comes up at some point. We checked with local surf instructors for some pointers on when and if to start surfing.
Summer Camps 2021. Here’s your last chance to check out available camp options.
Black Fatherhood: Two Americas. One local dad shares the worries of Black fathers and how fatherhood is different for them. by Jon Wizard
Does Parenting Ever End? Tips on raising successful adults so you can have a great relationship beyond childhood. by Lissa Carlson
on the cover
Our little surfer is Maverick Raphel, 3 years old. Maverick loves the beach, chocolate donuts, and his siblings. Photo by Michelle Findlay 831-262-9192 • michellefindlay.com
Serendipity Pre-School LLC We open the eyes and hearts of children to the wonder and discovery of learning. y mily am F Fa
✯Finalist✯ Monterey Bay
• A quality educational program for children ages 3 to 5 • Full and part-time preschool & Pre-K classes • Serving Peninsula families since 1981
1231 Seventh Street, Monterey, 93940 www.serendipitypreschoolllc.com 4
831-375-9743 MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
NEW! OPENS JUNE 5
ENJOY AMAZING BENEFITS WITH A GOLD PASS: • • • • • •
Season-long access to California’s Great America, including special events Season-long access to the new South Bay Shores waterpark FREE Parking at Great America Exclusive ride times and discounts Bring-a-Friend discounts on select dates 10% off select food and merchandise
Visit cagreatamerica.com for the latest safety protocols ©2021 Cedar Fair, L.P. GA21-070 and to reserve your ticket today
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
from the publisher…
“Father’s Day” columnist Rob Weisskirch mentions a YouTube channel called “Dad, How Do I?” in his column on page 8. I was so intrigued I headed online to check it out. It’s billed as “Practical Dadvice for Everyday Tasks and Successful Living,” There is also a book by vlogger Rob Kenney by the same name as his channel. I mention this because it’s a fun rabbit hole to go down if you’re online (plus, I learned how to unclog a sink). It’s also a marketing lesson (the channel is one year old and has over three million subscribers). Rob Kenney is doing something right.
P.O. Box 806 Pacific Grove, CA 93950 MontereyBayParent.com
831-582-1373 Publisher Andrea Breznay email@example.com 831-582-1373 Sales Executive Danika Mallobox firstname.lastname@example.org 831-582-1770
And so is Rob Weisskirch. In this month’s column, he addresses the important, practical things he is teaching his daughter. I love that as a dad of a young child, he is thinking seriously about what he wants her to know before his active parenting is over. That’s especially important in light of another article in this issue, “Does Parenting Ever End?” by Lissa Carlson (page 28). Lissa talked to a few experts to get tips on parenting adults successfully. She makes the point that successful parenting of adults starts when they are little. Part of that is precisely what both Robs advise: teach your kids the practical chores so they leave the nest able to cope with life. That’s some seriously great parenting advice!
Cover Photographer Michelle Findlay ALBERT HOFFMAN Contributing Writers andrea breznay LISSA CARLSON rob weisskirch jon wizard Editorial Submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. We cannot be responsible for return of any unsolicited materials.
In another parenting article in the issue, Jon Wizard shares an early lesson his father taught him, and it’s a tough one. Black dads have to parent differently in our country and prepare their children in ways that white parents don’t. It’s sad and scary, and if it’s ever to change, we all need to be aware of the realities facing parents of color.
Articles and advertisements in Monterey Bay Parent do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the publisher nor does the publisher assume responsibility for statements made by our advertisers or editorial contributors. Acceptance of advertising by Monterey Bay Parent does not constitute an endorsement of the products, services or information. We do not knowingly present any product or service which is fraudulent or misleading in nature.
The rest of the issue focuses on summer. We have suggestions on pages 1011 for creating a summer bucket list for your family. On pages 12-13, you’ll find info on local summer reading programs to help your kids avoid the summer “brain drain” (they don’t need to know that the fun reading they’re doing will help them in school!).
Monterey Bay Parent is available free of charge at over 250 distribution points throughout Monterey and Santa Cruz counties as well as digitally at www.MontereyBayParent.com.
Have a very Happy Father’s Day and a wonderful June!
Monterey Bay Parent is ©2021 by Monterey Bay Parent, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is strictly prohibited.
We are so excited to introduce a new insider access program. Monterey Bay Parenthood is for readers like you who want more!
• A list of discounts from local merchants just for members • Private members-only Facebook group where you can chat about parenting, set up play dates, participate in special contests, and more • Members-only content on MontereyBayParent.com • A mailed copy of Monterey Bay Parent Magazine • Early access and discounts for our events • Member-only events including our first parent/child meet up in June! Special early bird price of just $35 for the entire year!
For more information and to sign up, click on the link on the home page at MontereyBayParent.com. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
LIFE IS BETTER WHEN YOU HAVE A PLAN • Life CECILIA KENNEDY INSURANCE AGENCY
Congrats Grads! Smart choices last a lifetime.
Your Local Agent Cecilia Kennedy, CLCS CA License # 0748410 423 Pajaro St Ste A, Salinas, CA 93901 email@example.com agents.farmers.com/ckennedy2
Call 831-585-1565 today! Restrictions apply. Discounts may vary. Not available in all states. See your agent for details. Insurance is underwritten by Farmers Insurance Exchange and other affiliated insurance companies. Visit farmers.com for a complete listing of companies. Not all insurers are authorized to provide insurance in all states. Coverage is not available in all states. Life Insurance issued by Farmers New World Life Insurance Company, 3120 139th Ave. SE, Ste. 300, Bellevue, WA 98005.
GRADUATION SEASON IS UPON US A TIME OF TRANSFORMATION AND GREAT JOY!
Let’s pray today for the graduates in our lives and communities that the Lord would strengthen them and guide them in their futures. 1 Tim 4:12
Back Row (From Left): Eva Prewitt, Maria Bruno, Ryan Larkin, Hannah Krueger, Caroline Naaman, Hannah Steigman, Mario Perez, Adrian Garcia, Ethan Oblander, Lux Goetz, Lissy Beatman. Front Row (From Left) Sterling Ray, Will Wotherspoon, Patrick McCoy, Teah Herriott, Ernesto Peraza, Alex Gonzalez-Perez, Rebecca Almader. (Front) Trinity's Service Dog "Jilla” (Missing from photo: Zach Combs, Lance Ray, Leslie Wang
CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE IN THE CLASS OF 2021! MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Father’s day by Rob Weisskirch
Are You Teaching? A YouTube channel Dad, How Do I? was recommended to me in my social media feed. Rob Kenney provides videos on stuff that a dad “should” teach you on this video channel. The videos range from how to tie a tie, home repairs and car maintenance, to basics of finances. He provides his advice in an approachable, friendly, every dad way. After watching several of the videos, I came to appreciate this kind of advice (and learned some tips too). But, at the same time, I was struck by the idea that there are certain things that kids should be taught and how learning these skills leads to confidence and self-sufficiency. When I think of what my father taught me, I think of how he taught me how to barbecue. I don’t mean the simple backyard grill. My father is from Argentina, where an Asado is an event, and your worth as a person is measured by the perfection by which
you grill the meat. I remember him showing me how to pile the coals and judge that they were at the right state for grilling. He showed me how to monitor the flames to bring about the best char. Now, anytime grilling is involved, I feel confident in delivering tasty food as my father did. I also think about what I learned from my stepfather. One time I came home from college with a headlight out on my car. I was fretting about spending money to take the vehicle to a mechanic when my stepfather said he could replace it quickly. I was doubtful of his skills, but he took me to the auto parts store, purchased the replacement bulb, and walked me through changing the bulb, saving me the cost and hassle. After I drove back to school, sure enough, the other headlight went out within a week. This time, however, I had learned how to fix the headlight and repeated the steps I
had been shown successfully. I called my stepfather excitedly because I had been able to change the headlight on my own. Recently, I was in the yard showing my daughter how to plant tomatoes so that they will grow and flourish. I had her dig a spot, place the seedling deep into the hole, and fill it in as I held the plant upright. She then watered the plant well, and we discussed why the plant needed this kind of care. She then planted the next seedling, narrating to me what she was doing and why she was doing it. When I gave her positive feedback, she grinned widely and wanted to do more on her own. There is never enough time to take care of household tasks or general maintenance around the house. It is much faster if you can just get the tasks done. However, these instances can become opportunities in building MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
skills for kids or just learning how the world works. By gaining these skills, kids become confident and proud of their self-sufficiency. And, they have the chance to associate those skills they learn with their dad. I remember one time I had taken my daughter kite flying with kites ranging from one purchased at the dollar store to one purchased in San Francisco’s Chinatown. It would have been easier for me to assemble the kites and get them in the air as soon as possible and then hand her the string. She was eager to fly them and did not want to listen to how to get them going. After some poor attempts and switching kites, she was ready to listen. We talked about the differences in the kite shapes and the need for the tails. I showed her how to figure out which direction the wind was coming and think about how the wind would push against the kite to keep it aloft. I positioned her correctly, explaining which direction to run and how to let out the string as the kite rises. It took her several tries, a few cries of frustration, and a lot of “Dad, I know what to do.” Then, she took a run, a gust of wind was well-timed, and the kite rose into the air. She quickly let out
the string and saw how high the kite flew. With a big smile on her face and jumping around, I had to remind her to keep watching the kite gently. She also got the accolades of the other kids and families in the park since the kite could be seen in the air by all. Now, I know kite flying is not great skill. But, I think that my daughter learned that she could master something on her own and felt proud of doing so. And she learned from her dad. My goal for the future is for her to have little need to watch videos of what dads should teach their kids. Like many dads, I want my daughter to be confident and self-sufficient with the tasks of life. So, I plan to do my best to teach her all the stuff this dad can teach her. Happy Fathers Day! Robert (Rob) S. Weisskirch, MSW, Ph.D., CFLE is a Professor of Human Development at California State University, Monterey Bay and is a Certified Family Life Educator. He and his wife are parents to a chatty, elementary school aged daughter and reside in Marina.
What other skills are on your list of “things dads should teach their kids?” • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Tell a good (clean) joke Ride a bike Stand up to a bully Throw a baseball Change a tire Play blackjack Make a paper airplane Lose gracefully Drive a car with manual transmission Offer a solid handshake Calculate a proper tip Make a bed Hammer in a nail Iron a pair of pants Write a thank-you letter Balance a checkbook Look someone in the eye during a conversation Find a book in a library
serious fun . It’s a girl thing
Summer at Santa Catalina
Monterey, CA • 831.655.9386 • santacatalina.org MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
From simple joys to outings that requires a little planning, creating a family “bucket list” is a great way to kick off your summer. Mark off the items you want to try for your own list. You’ll be creating memories that your family will never forget! Fun Outside! q Have a picnic in the park
Bucket List! q Make a Twister game on the front lawn q Try skipping stones at the Carmel River on a hot day q Look for shapes in the clouds q Go on a hike (Toro Park has reopened!)
q Camp out under the stars
q Have a water balloon fight
q Enjoy a drive-in movie
q Go on a family bike ride
(The Monterey Fairgrounds has family movies for just $20 a car on June 5 and 19)
q Build a sandcastle q Light up the night with a glow stick party q Attend a baseball game The Monterey Amberjacks season opens in June. Tickets are just $5.00 per person.
q Plant a garden q Fly a kite on the beach (you always say you want to) q Hold a paper airplane race
q Hold a hula hoop contest in your yard
q Go on a scavenger hunt
q Visit a farmer’s market
q Play hopscotch
Explore it! q Take a mini road trip q Visit a museum (The Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History is open) q Visit a new park q Spend a day at the Monterey Zoo q Go whale watching (check gowhales.com for information and reservations)
Visit a water park ens is
ard (Gilroy G nd has an en a now op park e water m o s e w a ones!) for little
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Fun at Home! q Join a summer reading program (Check out the story on page 12 about local reading programs for details!) q Have a build your own pizza night
q Have a watermelon eating contest q Have breakfast for dinner q Play charades q Host a banana split party q Take a selfie a day as a family– get creative!
q Find a pen pal q Have a family pillow fight q Celebrate a half birthday If your child has a December or January birthday, celebrate in June! q Have a bubble gum bubble blowing contest
q Wake up early to watch the sunrise q Celebrate Christmas in July and get dressed up and watch movies. Don’t forget the hot cocoa and cookies! q Play truth or dare
Make It! q Tie-dye T-Shirts q Make root beer floats q Paint some rocks q Build a bird feeder q Make s’mores q Create a comic book together
Create a Summer Scrapbook
Keep photo s, ticket stubs, and other memorabilia from your summ er so you can cre ate a scrapbook a t the end of the s ummer.
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
SUMMER DAY CAMP STARTS
Call your local branch or visit www.centalcoastymca.org
SUMMER CAMPS 2021
EXPLORE OUTDOORS THIS SUMMER WITH SCIENTISTS FROM THE PACIFIC GROVE MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY Small cohorts of campers will be led by two scientists on adventures in the Museum, in the garden, and to nearby natural areas. Each day will bring fun with friends and new experiences with science, nature, and our local history. Each week is a new camp theme filled with science experiments, art projects, games, and activities designed to learn while having fun. Camper, family, and staff safety is our number one priority. We have put into place practices that provide layers of protection. For more information and registration info, visit:
165 FOREST AVENUE, PACIFIC GROVE, CA 93950
S SUMMER READING PROGRAMS
ummer is a great time for kids to kick back and relax, but don’t let the days go by without a little reading. It’s the perfect time to read just for fun and spending a little time every day with a good book will keep kids learning and their brains sharp. To celebrate summer, these local public libraries have summer reading programs for kids. Plus, we found an online option if you prefer that.
MONTEREY COUNTY FREE LIBRARIES (MCFL) The MCFL program runs June 5 through July 31. Patrons of all ages can register in-person at their local MCFL branch or online at eMCFL. org. Participant receive free books and prizes. Exciting, family-friendly programs will be hosted on Zoom in June and July and include music, comedy, animals, magic and more. Programs for adults and teens include Paint Parties, Nature Journaling, Calligraphy and Poetry workshops. All programs require registration. Monterey County Free Libraries Branches throughout Monterey County https://bit.ly/3bspHoH (831) 883-7555
MONTEREY PUBLIC LIBRARY SUMMER READING PROGRAM “Reading Colors Your World” is the theme for this summer’s program running from June 1 to July 31. The program will be a celebration of the many ways that reading can expand your child’s world through kindness, growth, and community. Children will be encouraged to get creative, try new things, explore art, and find beauty in diversity. Explore a new color and art medium each week with Grab and Go art kits, and a virtual colorthemed storytime with Ms. Orquidea. Teens can dive into color theory with illustrator and filmmaker Kenton Hoppas. All ages, even adults, can earn prizes for reading by keeping track of your time in the “Beanstack” app or online. The library has free e-books and sidewalk holds pickup (request a librarian curated bundle on the library homepage). Monterey Public Library 625 Pacific Street, Monterey, 93940 monterey.org/library (831) 646-3933
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
PACIFIC GROVE PUBLIC LIBRARY
• MO N T
Celebrate Reading this summer with Monterey Public Library! U
The PGPL Summer Reading Program begins June 9. Kids will enjoy a different performer every Wednesday at 2 pm for eight weeks plus other special treats. For the latest info, email firstname.lastname@example.org. Pacific Grove Public Library 550 Central Ave, Pacific Grove, 93950 www.pacificgrovelibrary.org • (831) 648-5760
SALINAS PUBLIC LIBRARY Join the Salinas Public Library for fun, engaging, and free activities all summer long. A variety of drop-in and registration-based programs will be offered through the Summer to promote learning and exploration. The program includes: 7-week reading adventures; Virtual programs; Weekly take-home kits; Book prizes; and much more. Salinas Public Library 350 Lincoln Ave., Salinas, 93901 www.SalinasPublicLibrary.org • (831) 758-7311
SANTA CRUZ PUBLIC LIBRARY The Santa Cruz Public Libraries’ (SCPL) Summer Reading Program begins June 1 and runs through July 31. Kids, teens, and adults track their reading, complete activities, and earn raffle entries. Upon registration Kids and teens (ages 0-18) receive a $10 Atlantis Fantasyworld gift certificate good towards a specially curated collection of comics and graphic novels. After completing the goal of reading for 5 hours participants earn raffle tickets for gift cards to a variety of local merchants and other prizes. Santa Cruz Public Library 224 Church Street, Santa Cruz, 95060 santacruzpl.org/srp • (831) 427-7713
Prizes • Performers • Activities
June 1– July 31
Sign up for our free program. All ages welcome. Monterey Public Library • 625 Pacific Street • Monterey CA monterey.org/library • (831) 646-3933
WATSONVILLE PUBLIC LIBRARY 275 Main Street, Suite 100 Watsonville, 95076 www.cityofwatsonville.org/1448/Summer-Reading-Program Reading “Colors Your World” at Watsonville Public Library from June 7 through August 11. Participants can track their reading on either the paper log or a virtual one. There will be various activity kits and other events this summer. All ages can participate in the Summer Reading Program and everyone who registers will receive a free book (while supplies last). The last day to turn in reading logs and get the completion prize for reading 10 hours is August 11, 2021. Watsonville Public Library 275 Main St., Suite 100. Watsonville, 95076 www.cityofwatsonville.org/202/Library (831) 768-3400
SCHOLASTIC SUMMER READING PROGRAM Kids can participate in the Scholastic Summer Reading Program where they will be encouraged to read, celebrate their achievements and help increase access to books for their peers. By creating an account, kids can join a community of readers and will be able to read books and stories; attend weekly author events; interact with their favorite characters; play book-based games and activities; join dance parties; and more. For more information log onto www.scholastic.com/site/summer/home.html. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
*Home School Program – Grades TK-12 *Independent Study Program – Grades 9-12 *Fully Accredited by WASC! *No Interdistrict Transfer Required to Enroll!
At Monterey County Home Charter School, students are given a rich, individually designed, tuition-free education while studying in a nonclassroom-based environment. Enrichment and intervention classes, workshops, field trips, tutoring sessions, concurrent enrollment, and weekly meetings with fully credentialed teachers give students every opportunity to succeed.
For more information or to enroll, contact: Monterey County Home Charter School 901 Blanco Circle, Salinas, CA 93912
(831) 755-0331 • www.mchcs.org
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
dear teacher by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
Hooking Children on Reading Question: My children who are currently in 2nd and 4th grades are just barely reading on grade level. What can I do this summer to help them to up their reading level and get them hooked on books? – Need a Plan Answer: Most unmotivated readers don’t associate reading with the word “fun.” They limit their reading to school assignments. Start off by reading to your children every day. Select reading material that will make them laugh. Poems written by Shel Silverstein and Bruce Lansky will tickle their funny bones. You will be able to get other suggestions from your local librarian or the library’s web page. Begin by having them read material that is fun and that caters to their interests. If you can find books that are slightly below their reading level, they will feel more confident of their reading ability and likely to read more. Plus, the more they read, the more their reading will improve. You can further build your children’s excitement about reading by helping them become active readers. We do not mean that they are to run around the room as they read. No, they are to become interactive with the printed page. You can help them learn how to do this by asking them questions about what they think will be happening next in a story when you read to them. Select from the activities below to help your children to become even more excited about reading: 1. Have great reading materials spread throughout your home from magazines to vacation brochures. 2. Be sure each child has his or her personal collection of fiction and non-fiction books. 3. Start an online book club or a neighborhood one if social distancing has been lifted. 4. Have your children take part in the summer reading program at your library (see page 12-13 for details). 5. Give them a magazine subscription. 6. Let them stay up an extra 15 minutes to read in bed.
Keeping School Skills Sharp Question: How can I keep learning alive for two fairly good students in the summer? I don’t want them to lose basic skills. – Building Skills Answer: Most parents realize that the secret to continued academic success for their children is to keep them reading during the summer. If you are running short of ideas, go online to readwritethink.org and search for summer reading. Here you’ll find activities to help children from ages 4 to 18 explore reading and writing all summer long. And don’t forget to bolster your children’s math skills. Most lose more ground in math than reading. Try to play games with them that require math. For lots of fun with math, have them work with “Learning Activities -Math” on our website at dearteacher.com. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Parents should send questions and comments to email@example.com
SUMMER READING PROGRAM PROGRAMA DE LECTURA DE VERANO santacruzpl.org/srp
SUMMER READING PROGRAM PROGRAMA DE LECTURA DE VERANO santacruzpl.org/srp June 1 - July 31 • 1 de junio - 31 de julio
Earn a book and raffle entries for reading this summer. Complete activities to collect virtual badges and earn extra raffle entries. $10 Atlantis Fantasyworld credit upon sign-up for kids & teens! Gana un libro y entradas a la rifa por leer este verano.Completa las actividades para colectar medallas virtuales y entradas extras a la rifa. ¡$10 crédito de Atlantis Fantasyworld para niños y adolescentes al registrarse! The Watsonville and Santa Cruz Public Libraries invite all teens and adults in Santa Cruz County to participate in Book to Action. We have selected the book Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas and invite all to read the book and participate. Las Bibliotecas Públicas de Watsonville y Santa Cruz invitan a todos los jóvenes y adultos del Condado de Santa Cruz a participar en el programa Book to Action. Hemos seleccionado el libro Querida América: notas de un ciudadano indocumentado escrito por José Antonio Vargas e invitamos a todos a leer el libro y participar.
PRODUCTS WE LOVE by Elena Epstein, Director of the National Parenting Product Awards
Miffy Cool to Be Kind Plush Features the beloved children’s book character in a fresh, modern palette and a positive message, “It’s cool to be kind” in colorful embroidered letters. $15.95, ages 24 months+, https://douglascuddletoy.com/
3D Glow Spin Art Station Capture your little artist’s imagination with this unique swirl art machine that includes fun 3D-glasses to make your painting come to life! $24.99, ages 6+, www.kohls.com/ product/prd-4898625/discoverykids-3d-glow-spin-art-station.jsp 100 Words About Places I Go™ Explore words about places kids love with this bilingual learning book. Go to the beach, the farm, the park and more in any season and discover words in both English and Spanish about things to bring and surprises to find. $17.99, ages 18+ Months, https:// store.leapfrog. com/en-us/ store/p/100words-aboutplaces-go/_/Aprod80-613040 For more product reviews visit nappaawards.com
Spring and summer whale watching
Whales and dolphins in their natural habitat • Fun and educational for the entire family
• Tours led by experienced Biologists • Following social distancing and CDC guidelines • Dog friendly
Trip details and pricing at www.gowhales.com or call 831-375-4658 16
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
SplashEZ Educational Sprinkler Pool This 3-in-1 splash pad/ sprinkler pool offers fun and learning in the sun. Features whimsical animals, letters and colors. $39.99, ages 12 months+, https://www. amazon.com/gp/product/ B07MNMT3M7
Sunkitö Designed to protect your child from the sun, sand, wind and mosquitoes on family outings. $49.99, ages: 0-36 months, https://bbluvgroup.com/ product/sunkito-anti-uv-popup-play-tent-with-mosquitonet/
Our partner physicians
Reid Giedt, MD
Jerrie Lim, MD
Christine McCuistion, MD
Asymbol Explore imagination and creativity as you build 3D forms from the 47 wooden shapes included in the game. Challenge others to guess your vision. Play with 3-6 players in 30 minutes or less. $36 For Ages: 8+, https:// www.simplyfun.com/
Tonya Blakemore, MD
Jennae Lee, MD.
Please welcome our newest care team member, Amy Winter, M.D. Dr. Winter was born and raised in Monterey. After finishing her residency at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan, she has started a family of her own and returned to serve the families in our local community.
Spläsh Perfectly sized for infants and toddlers to splish and splash anywhere. Just pour water, using the foldable bucket. $29.99, ages 6m+, https://bbluvgroup. com/product/splash-baby-paddlingpool/ Amy Winter, MD
Sunny Day Mobile Farm Stand Intricate details enhance the imaginative play experience in this farm-themed play set featuring 2 figurines, a horse and lots of accessories. $34.99, ages 3 to 8 years https://www.schleich-s.com/en/US/ farm-world/products/sunny-daymobile-farm-stand.html
Robert Naimark, MD
Dr. Winter is now accepting new patients.
All of our physicians provide pediatric outpatient care at the office and inpatient care at Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital Call us today to schedule an appointment!
260 San Jose Street, Salinas
PacificCoastPediatrics.com MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
2021 JRGA PGA Sports Summer Academy
June 7 – 11; June 21 – 25; July 5 – 9; July 19 – 23; Aug 2 – 6
Half Day $299 (12:30-4:00) • Full Day $449 (12-5pm)
Register Today! www.JustinRussoGolfAcademy.com
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Hang Ten Kids Learning to Surf
or kids living around the Monterey Bay, seeing surfers ride the waves is a pretty regular occurrence. At some point, many kids will ask about surfing and may want to give it a try. If you’re a parent who loves to surf (or one who wishes you had learned!), getting your child on a board may even be on your agenda. There are several reasons why learning to surf is an excellent option for your family. Surfing will keep your child active. In these days of hours of screen time, being outdoors and active is a great reason to learn to surf. Surfing can also develop ocean awareness in your kids, as well as an appreciation for Mother Nature. Finally, surfing can be a big confidence boost and help your child overcome fears. Working at something hard like surfing offers kids a chance to have lots of small wins while also learning to deal with the inevitable frustration of learning something new and demanding. For parents, knowing that an hour of surfing will REALLY tire your kid out may be enough of an incentive to allow them to give it a try!
GAUGE THEIR INTEREST Both surfing and bodyboarding require confidence and a sense of adventure. Most children need to want to do something to give it a real try. The best way to get them interested is to get them excited ahead of time. Pointing out surfers having fun in the water, watching bodyboarders at the beach, or watching surf videos is a great way to get them intrigued. Getting them accustomed to water activities is an important step. Swimming lessons and pool time, playing at the beach and wading, playing on a small board at the water’s edge – they’re all good options for helping children feel comfortable around water. WHEN TO START You’re probably wondering when a good time to get your child started might be. Although many experts agree that the right age for a kid to begin surfing is around eight, there are no hard and fast rules. Of course, you can get them in the water earlier, and many surfing parents have their kids on a board as soon as they can swim.
Local surf instructors report teaching kids as young as two and adults as old as seventy-five. Noah Greenberg with Carmel Surf says that the age to start depends on how independent you expect the child to be. Greenberg had his child in the water around the age of two. It may seem kind of obvious, but the more time you take teaching them to swim and learning to be comfortable in the water, the better their relationship with surfing will be. Zane Reed, owner of Big Surf, advises parents that children should tread water and be strong swimmers before starting to surf independently. Jean Abraham with Monterey Bay Surf Lessons learned to surf at the age of ten. He started teaching his children on boards at four years old and his granddaughter at two. Abraham adds: “when you can’t keep your child out of the ocean is a good time to start.” SAFETY FIRST Safety should always be the number one priority. Be sure to spend lots of time with your child going over safety rules. The first rule is for parents: MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
you should always watch your child while they are in the water. This is not the time to be playing on your phone or sunbathing. If your child is in the water, you should have your eyes on them. You can find lots of safety information online and from your instructor if your child is taking lessons. Go over it carefully to understand it and share it (multiple times!) with your child. Stress to your child that breaking safety rules means you will take immediate action. WHAT YOU’LL NEED According to Zane Reed beginner surfers will need a surfboard, a leash, a wetsuit, plus wetsuit booties. Some surf schools will lend the basics for newcomers. That can save you some money while you test whether this will be an activity your child sticks with. Noah Greenberg stresses that a warm wetsuit is a must with 4mm his recommendation. Greenberg advises purchasing the wetsuit at a local surf shop to ensure you’re getting the proper fit. Some well-known brands give trade-in incentives for kids because they know kids grow out of their suits quickly. Greenberg says that you can expect to spend about $160 for a good quality wetsuit. PARENTS AS TEACHERS If you’re a surfer or bodyboarder who wants to teach your child, it’s important to remember that your child needs to guide the lesson. You need to go slow and repeat the lessons as often as needed. This is an opportunity to practice patience. Never force your child to learn something when they’re not ready. TURNING IT OVER TO A PRO If you’d prefer not to teach your child, surf instructors can take over. Jean Abraham says that the main reason to get a pro-teacher involved is for the child’s safety. According to Abraham, “Lessons keep children from making the “trial and error” mistakes which result in stitches. With guidance, a child will progress much quicker. Tips learned from a seasoned surfer will keep your child from becoming exhausted and frustrated. After each ride, an instructor can address the cause of a wipeout and suggest a way to avoid it on the next ride.” Noah Greenberg adds: “I can’t speak for all surf schools but the way we teach it’s safe, really safe. I have been teaching surfing for 35 years and I think that counts for something. Our motto is “safety and fun,” and if we can’t do both then we’ll cancel with no charge to the customer.”
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Summer Sports Camp at the Monterey Sports Center is back!
June 7th–July 30th Camp Hours: Monday through Friday, 9 am–4 pm
Offering over 30 fun, COVID safe sports and activities
June 7th – July 30th
Age 6–12s Year s
For updates, follow The Monterey Sports Center on Facebook and Instagram or online at montereysportscenter.org. Sports Camp will be modified and follow strict COVID-19 precautions including daily health screenings, face masks, cleaning and disinfecting. Full program information will be posted on the Monterey Sports Center website as soon as program details are finalized. Due to the current CDC guidelines, participants must be signed up for 2 consecutive weeks of camp at a time. This summer there are a total of 4, 2 week sessions! Upon registration, participants will be placed into 3 groups, two for ages 6-8 years and one for ages 9-12 years.
If you’re considering getting your kids out on the waves, there are plenty of great reasons to grab your kid a surfboard and head to the beach. Hang loose, stay safe, and have fun! FOR MORE INFO: Big Surf: (831) 264-8008 • www.bigsurfadventures.com Carmel Surf: (831) 915-4065 • carmelsurflessons.com Monterey Bay Surf: (831) 915-0789 • montereybaysurflessons.com MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
To get more info on each of these camps plus photos and videos, check out our Camp Directory at MONTEREYBAYPARENT.COM
Adventures in Writing 8060 Carmel Valley Road, Carmel Valley, 93923 833-974-8366 www.aiwcamp.com/carmel
Monterey Recreation Summer Camp Various locations in Monterey 831-646-3866 monterey.org
ARIEL Theatrical 320 Main Street, Salinas, 93901 831-775-0976 www.arieltheatrical.org
Monterey Sports Camp 301 E Franklin St, Monterey, 93940 831-646-3730 Montereysportscenter.org
Basketball Jones Hoop Camps Carmel, Salinas, Aptos, Santa Cruz 831-537-0238 www.basketballjonescamp.com
Monte Vista Christian 2 School Way, Watsonville, 95076 831-722-8178 www.mvcs.org
Carmel Youth Center Torres Street & 4th Avenue, Carmel, 93923 831-624-3285 www.carmelyouth.org
Ooze Studio 13766 Center St., Carmel Valley, 93923 415-465-0075 www.ooze.studio
Central Coast YMCA 500 Lincoln Ave., Salinas, 93901 831-757-4633 www.centralcoastymca.org
Pac Rep Theatre School of Dramatic Arts Mountain View & Santa Rita, Carmel, 93923 831-622-9175 www.schoolofdramaticarts.org
Chartwell School 2511 Numa Watson Road, Seaside, CA 93955 831-394-3468 chartwell.org
Pacific Grove Museum of Natural History 165 Forest Avenue, Pacific Grove, 93950 831-648-5716, ext. 16 www.pgmuseum.org
The Dance Center 26135 Carmel Rancho Blvd., B6, Carmel, 93923 831-625-3262 www.dancecarmel.com
Progress Not Perfection Paint Parties 125 Central Avenue, Pacific Grove, 93950 831-256-7443 www.pnppaintparty.com
Hidden Hills Ranch 19014 Pesante Road, Salinas, 93907 831-663-6471 www.hiddenhillsranch.org
Rising Star Gymnastics 2024 Del Monte Avenue, Monterey, 93940 831-375-9335 risingstarmonterey.com
Justin Russo Golf Academy 1 McClure Way, Seaside, 93955 831-760-0749 justinrussogolfacademy.com
Summer at Santa Catalina 500 Mark Thomas Drive, Monterey, 93940 831-655-9386 www.santacatalina.org/summer-at-sc
Kirby School Summer Camp 425 Encinal Street, Santa Cruz, 95060 831-423-0658 www.kirby.org/summeratkirby
Shoreline Church Summer Camp 2500 Garden Road, Monterey 93940 831-655-0100 https://shoreline.church/summer-day-camp
MEarth Summer Day Camp 4380 Carmel Valley Road, Carmel, 93955 831-624-1032 mearthcarmel.org
York School 9501 York Road, Monterey, CA 93940 831-372-7338 york.org
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
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Monterey Recreation Office: 546 Dutra Street, Monterey, CA 93940 (831) 646-3866 www.monterey.org/rec A division of the City of Monterey
Parks Make Life Better! MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021 16 montereybayparent.com
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Black Fatherhood: Two Americas I must’ve been six years old when my dad gave me the talk—no, not that one. My class was on a school field trip to a local park, and one of the other kids had this huge collection of Hot Wheels cars. Many of us were playing with them and enjoying the day at the park, just being little kids. At some point, I put a handful of the Hot Wheels into my lunchbox. It was nearly 30 years ago, but my memory is that I thought he had so many so he wouldn’t mind if I kept some for myself. When the other kid realized some of his cars were missing, I must have realized I did something wrong and joined the loud chorus of denial for having taken his toys. Needless to say, I was busted the moment I lifted my lunchbox, and the toy cars started rattling around. After being ordered to open my lunchbox by the teacher, I remember hoping all those little cars would magically disappear. I don’t know
whether the San Diego Unified School District had a Zero Tolerance policy for first graders taking each other’s toys or if it was just that my teacher wouldn’t stand for it, but apparently, what I did was a pretty big deal. “Always be on your best behavior, son” My dad drove us home, and after sitting silently in the car for what felt like an eternity, he looked at me and, with a shaky voice, said something about people treating me differently from other kids who got into trouble. When I naively asked why, he said very matter-of-factly that certain people don’t like people who had skin like mine. Then he said that because we can’t know what others might be thinking, I had to always be on my best behavior to make sure I didn’t get into trouble with someone who already didn’t like me because I had darker skin.
Experiences seared into your memory You’d be forgiven for feeling somewhat skeptical that I could remember this experience from my early childhood with such clarity after almost three decades—you’d also be mistaken. Being a blissfully ignorant child who knows nothing of the history of this country, let alone their history, primes one for having the weight of an experience of institutional racism seared into their memory. Just like my memory of a middle-aged white man leaning out of his old, primer grey pickup truck and shouting the N-word at me when I was 12 years old, traumatic experiences have a way of implanting themselves in parts of our memory that you can’t forget. Why should you care about any of this? We all have sad stories from our childhoods, and our kids have all misbehaved and done things we wish they hadn’t. I don’t
“To be a Black father in America is to balance the constant fear that your child’s life will be stolen with the joy and love of parenthood.”
by Jon Wizard
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
share these experiences because I want your sympathy or because I think I’m special. It’s quite the opposite: I share these experiences because every Black kid—and probably every Asian, Latin@, and Native kid—has some formative experience with racism that forever imprints on them. These experiences, whether emotional, psychological, or physical, rob children of their childhoods, stealing from them the wonderment of nature, the joy of living in the moment, the freedom of youth, and the security of their person. How mass incarceration shapes the future I wrote my master’s thesis on the militarization of civilian police in the United States. As part of my research, I read Jonathan Simon’s Governing Through Crime, Kelly Lytle Hernández’ City of Inmates, and Michelle Alexander’s The New Jim Crow, all of which point to one irrefutable fact: The mass incarceration of non-white people is the most effective and vile form of modern white supremacy. While three times as many Black women die from pregnancy-related causes as white women, and while three times as many Black people with diabetes have their limbs amputated than diabetics of other races, this medical apartheid affects our community differently than mandatory minimums. The sentencing differences between powder cocaine and rock cocaine, the hyper criminalization of cannabis, and the irrational and cruel desire to penalize the impoverished creates two Americas. The United States is a punitive country, home to roughly 25% of incarcerated people worldwide despite having only 5% of the world’s population. Even worse, more than half of all incarcerated people are Black or Latin@, even though they together comprise less than a third of the total population. A devastating five times as many Black people are arrested, prosecuted and convicted than white people. And to what end? Through this, white supremacy achieves our civil death: the loss of the rights and privileges of citizenship. When convicted of a felony, one loses their right to vote or hold office; access to college financial aid; the ability to work with and mentor kids; eligibility to work in any job that requires a license, such as a CPA or a barber; and, frequently, the ability to rent a decent home [Source: NAACP]. Back to “the talk” Now I see why my dad was so shaken when the school told him his Black son had been caught stealing, why the tough dad who survived childhood abuse was afraid, why he begged me to be good and stay out of trouble. He was rightfully scared that I would become a statistic: One of the three Black boys in America who will go to prison during their lifetime. To be a Black father in America is to balance the constant fear that your child’s life will be stolen with the joy and love of parenthood. Jon Wizard lives in Seaside with his partner, two stepsons, two miniature dachshunds, and cat. After his law enforcement career abruptly ended due to an on-thejob injury, Jon ran for city council and was elected in 2018. Jon now works for YIMBY Law, advocating for better longrange housing plans for local cities and counties. Jon holds a master’s degree in humanities and is currently working on a Master of Public Administration degree. MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
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It’s going to be a great summer! Join us at Kirby School for our virtual or in-person academic, arts, and athletics summer program in June and July 2021.
Our staff are safety trained and excited to ignite your incoming 6th through 12th grade student’s imagination. We invite you to learn, play, and create together! Sign up to learn more about our program at:
425 Encinal Street, Santa Cruz, CA 95060 | kirby.org MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
Does Parenting Ever End? As the class of 2021 moves on to their next phase, it’s a good time to remember that the job of parenthood doesn’t end once your child leaves home, it just transitions. How can you raise a successful adult and enjoy a great relationship beyond childhood?
The journey to adulthood is recognized as one that takes longer than ever. Thanks to improved diets and health, the onset of puberty arrives earlier, yet full adulthood has been delayed. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, who co-authored “Getting to 30: A Parent’s Guide to the 20-Something Years” (Workman Publishing Company, 2014) with Elizabeth Fishel, founded the theory of emerging adulthood as a new developmental period spanning from about ages 18 to 25 (some researchers extend it to 29). It is not adolescence but not yet adulthood, and it can be the toughest period to maneuver as a parent. Here’s a list of ways parents can ensure a happy transition. Start teaching kids life lessons early. Jim Burns, author of “Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out” (Zondervan, 2019), says young adults often say they don’t feel prepared to handle money and basic responsibilities. Skills kids should know before they leave home include how to budget; how to use a credit card (and what abuse can cost); self-care and how to assess their own medical needs; and basic home management such as laundry, cleaning a bathroom, and simple meal preparation.
Hold on loosely, but don’t let go. Elizabeth Fishel, who writes about family relationships and co-authored “Getting to 30” with Arnett, says parenting becomes a tender balance between connection and separation. Keep a strong, warm connection by phone, email, and doing things you love to do together with in-person adventures. Emerging adulthood can be a lonely time of life, especially for those without a romantic partner, Arnett says, and parents can make handy companions. Offset that companionship by allowing them to explore their own identity, find work, and seek a life partner. “Support them, but don’t overwhelm them with advice,” Fishel says.
Don’t tell kids what to do from afar. Arnett has conducted hundreds of interviews with young people, and across social class and ethnic background, the sentiment holds true: I don’t want to hear my parents’ advice, even if they’re right. I want to run my life and make my own decisions, and I’ll take responsibility for those decisions, but let me make them. Parents decide so much of a child’s life without consultation: where they’ll live, spend summer vacations, go to camp. “Now the balance of power has shifted and they have that authority,” Arnett says. “Let them have their time to try to aim for their aspirations and reach them if they can without you scolding them.” Unsolicited advice from
MONTEREY BAY PARENT • june 2021
parents is viewed as criticism, Burns says. Your child interprets it as distrust in their decision-making ability. Even when you question their decisions, Burns says, don’t become a nag. “Keep the relationship going so they know you’re there to help,” he says. “No matter their age, they still have one question: Do you still love me?” Being too directive or judgmental about their choices in general for college, career, and partners is a sure way to strain your relationship.
or daughter doesn’t have a job with benefits, that’s something to think about versus a cell phone or a car.” Research shows 75 percent of parents of adult children have helped their adult kids financially, and a 2011 study concluded that financial help from parents had a mostly positive impact. The danger? Financial support can lead to dependency and enabling. “Parents don’t have bad motives, but they’re creating a failure to launch,” Burns says.
Know that you can’t hurry love or life and harping or worrying don’t help. “Don’t worry when they’re 23, 25, or 26, if they don’t seem to have found the right job yet,” Arnett says. Still, if your young adult struggles with employment, you might consider therapy. For the career waffler, Fishel suggests hiring a job counselor so the guidance comes from someone neutral about your child’s future.
Help, don’t enable. Through research for their book, Fishel and Arnett found the biggest hot button for parents of emerging adults is money. Parents want to know how much they should support their child financially and when they should stop. It’s a period wrought with financial insecurity as 20-something adults typically face multiple job changes and even unemployment in their search for identity-based work that matches their talents and interests. “Personally, for parents who can afford it, I recommend to do your best for education and health,” Fishel says, who points out that young adults who continue their education can stay on their parents’ health insurance through age 26. “After that, if your son
Help with no strings attached. Solid parents recognize when their motivations will only lead to heartbreak. For example, it isn’t beneficial to offer financial assistance or babysitting services expecting that it means your child will choose your house for Thanksgiving over the inlaws. On that note, toxic parents see their child’s significant others as a threat. They feel compelled to point out a significant other’s flaws or share why they think the significant other isn’t right for their child. “Generally, our feeling is that unless you really see your own child being treated very badly or abused, it’s better not to butt in,” Fishel says. Once they do advance to having their own family, refuse to make them choose between that and you. Learn to make room for significant others in their lives.
Set boundaries and expectations, particularly when a child moves back home. Millennials “boomeranging” was already a hot topic pre-pandemic, but COVID-19 resulted in more young people moving back home than at any
other time since the Great Depression. Your child leaves home as a teenager and returns as an adult. Burns says it’s time to re-evaluate boundaries and set expectations, ideally before the move back. He speaks from experience – his own daughter returned home for a time after college graduation. He greeted her with a new toilet brush in hand, letting her know that cleaning the bathroom next to her room would be her responsibility. Burns and his wife also requested she dine with them at home twice weekly; pay her car insurance and cell phone bill; and check in at 11 p.m. if she wasn’t already home. Then, they asked her if she had any expectations. She did. “She would have never shared those expectations if we hadn’t broached it first,” he says. Lissa Carlson is the mother of two teenage boys. She is an awardwinning writer who has written about parenting for 25 years.
When should a parent intervene? Our experts agreed that parents should get involved when there’s probability of serious, permanent harm due to: • Substance abuse • An abusive relationship • Eating disorders (common during the 20s) • Mental health issues “Even then, you have to be careful,” Jeffrey Arnett says. “They are still going to feel like you’re getting into their business, even if there’s a part of them that may know you’re right.”
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One out of five students thinks and learns differently. Chartwell’s Teacher Training Institute provides the tools and skills to enable teachers to identify and support these students, and help all students in their literacy growth.
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Chartwell School‘s Teacher Training Institute Discounts for school’s that register 5 or more teachers Limited scholarships available CE credits available through CSUMB More information and registration at 32
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A regional publication for Monterey County and Santa Cruz County. The June issue focuses on fathers and summer fun.