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Boys don’t dream like girls!

It is difficult to imagine what life will be like in 10 or 20-years from now. The readers of the Young Men’s Forum Newsletter will be grown up, having their own children, married, and hopefully have jobs. Choosing a career path is not easy when you still at school. Many do not have access to good opportunities and information to unlock their interest and potential. Hopefully this edition will inspire the reader to think about their future and take action to achieve their dreams.

Boys don’t think about the future and have positive dreams like girls! This is according to Masixole Labambo, a learner from New Eisleben High School. He feels that because boys don’t dream about the future; it impacts on their lives. They then grow up aimless without achieving their potential. He also feels that many boys become criminals because of frustration, lack of basic needs, education and positive role models.

Nicolas Sithole a learner from Hanover Park High School says it is ‘unfair to label us and our teachers as ‘under-performing’ because we are situated in poor under-developed areas where crime is a problem. He said that ‘despite the difficulties and danger we face daily to attend school near a gang battleground and some of us living in gang hotspots where shooting happens almost everyday, we try and not take notice of this’.

From Left: Msimeleli Maloy, Thandoxolo Yamile, Siyavuya Thembile and Sithembele Mgodeni

Sinethemba High School learner Thandoxolo Yamile said that many boys suffer because they don’t get support like girls do. He feels that sport is important but that ‘there is no other sports besides soccer being offered’ at their schools. He feels that if you want to be an athlete you need to be groomed and supported. He feels that ‘you don’t stand a chance in the school environment and not given opportunities to develop’ and dream of being a future sports star. Early sexual debut and love relationships at school can also have a negative effect on a boy’s future. This is according to Msimeleli Maloyi also from Sinethemba High School. He feels that romantic problems with a partner and worse; having a baby can ruin your life.

Masixole said that the schools they attend are situated in areas where there are lots of violence, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, and uneducated people, lack of recreational facilities like halls and indoor sports centres, etc. This has a negative impact of boys and young men. He said that ‘after school there is nothing to do’. Then they get involved in ‘smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol and having sex. When we don’t have money to buy these things, we start selling our home stuff and even rob people who come home from work’. Masixole feels that it is easy for boys to be misled and give in to peer pressure. Friends put pressure on each other to smoke cigarettes, take drugs and have sex. This is a major challenge for boys.

Grow up with violence and crime everyday is not easy. It makes you loose your dreams and hopes for the future. Only those who are determined will succeed.

South Africa is a very unequal society. Education and opportunities for children are not equally. This is according to Msimeleli Maloyi also from Sinethemba High School. He feels that romantic problems with a partner and worse; having a baby can ruin your life. They experience many hardships such as lack of resources and basic needs, abuse and violence that determines their future.

Nicolas Sithole from Hanover Park High School



Children who are forced to earn income for survival

Children have the right to be protected from doing chores, tasks and work that is harmful to their well-being, health, development and safety.

Work children do

Child Labour

What is acceptable for children?

Children do all kinds of chores, tasks and jobs from a very early age onwards. They work in and around the house; cleaning, washing, gardening, cooking and looking after animals and small children. Children also do work that earn them money like carrying things for people, selling goods, washing cars, baby-sitting, etc. Children are also forced to do work meant for adults. Such work can be harmful to them

Child labour is illegal in South Africa. It is a crime. No child under 15-years is allowed to work. The South African Constitution protects children from doing work that is inappropriate for their age and is harmful to their wellbeing, health, development or safety. However many children are forced to work in their own homes, or in family businesses. Other children work in other people’s homes or businesses. Children on farms, those working as domestic workers, children on the streets and those in family businesses are most exploited.

Many children, parents and adults have different ideas of what work would be acceptable for children.

Small chores and tasks Children should be encouraged to do chores and tasks that are appropriate for their age. They learn how things work and acquire knowledge and skills to do things. Children can be taught to clean up after themselves, wash dishes, cleaning the backyard, sweeping floors and running erants. Children learn responsibility and to do things for themselves.

Child exploitation Adults who use children for any gain or benefit to themselves or other persons are exploiting children. There are many situations in families and communities where adults exploit children

Children perform various chores, tasks and work that contribute to the family income and survival. This is a huge responsibility. Most of which do not get recognized and children do not get any payment for it. These includes cleaning their own home, looking after siblings, doing domestic work, cleaning cars and taxis of family businesses, looking after animals, fetching water, picking, packing and selling fruit, vegetables and other goods, helping out in family shop / shebeen or begging. Children themselves feel obliged to help their families and often drop out of school to do so. Others are forced to look after parents who become ill because of TB, HIV/AIDS or other Illness.

Small jobs for pocket money

Child sexual exploitation

Older children must be encouraged to do small jobs for pocket money. This way they learn about the value of money and the world of work. These jobs can include re-cycling glass bottles, jars, paper. Selling newspapers, washing cars, cleaning gardens, and baby sitting

This is when a child is exploited in a sexual way; such as paying a child or any other person to have sex with the child. Recording and producing child abuse images; or using the child or the child’s image in sexual way for whatever gain or reward to the child or any other person.

Part-time jobs or holiday work

Child prostitution is a crime in South Africa. No person under 18-years can agree to being prostituted.

This is work normally older children do after school, over weekends and during holidays. They normally help out in a shop as packers, cleaners or in restaurants as waiters. These children are normally 15 years and older.

Child pornography—the production, distribution and procession of child abuse images in whatever form is illegal in South Africa.



The choices we make today, affects our future. For Siyabonga Bhaliwe of New Eisleben High School, coming from an African culture perspective; boys are encouraged to behave ‘silly’. Sometimes their poor behaviour is excused as their ‘nature’. He feels that boys are taught how to be adults during their circumcision. Boys have to go for circumcision. It is the custom. It is a big step in a boy’s life. He is taught self reliance, about his culture and clan. He is warned not to go back to the ‘silly ways’ of boyhood like standing around on street corners with girls and boys. The right-of-passage teaches boys about the responsibility of manhood. Siyabonga says that the behaviours of boys are guided by the behaviour of other men in the community.

Preparing boys for adulthood! Parents have a responsibility to ensure that their children are properly cared for, fed, cleaned, nurtured, healthy, loved, protected and develop mentally and physically to their full potential. Today there are many teenagers who are fathers. How well are boys being prepared for adulthood and fatherhood? According to Brendon Simon and Henry Saal of Mountview High School some parents prepare their children for the future and others only care for them to go to school so that they can have peace and quiet. Brendon said many parents don’t care about children’s future; they only care about the money their child is going to bring home when he or she starts to work.

This can lead to landing up in prison or being dead. Both Brendon and Henry agreed that there are many parents who motivate and encourage their children, and parents who protect their children from gangsterism and drugs and all the bad things in life. Henry feels that teen fathers and mothers must go back to school and complete their schooling. Teen fathers must also work to get income to support their child and the mother. Siyabonga feels that school play a big role in teaching boys responsibility, values, morals and value of education. The choices we choose today, affects our future. Henry feels that some parents start businesses so that their children can take over and run it one day without consideration for the needs and interest of their children. He feels that many parents are selfish and do not teach their children good values, customs and wisdom.

Brendon Simon and Henry Saal of Mountview High School

Henry explained that there are also guys who do not have parents or their parents have died. Sometimes they can’t handle the pressure and pain and start hanging out with the wrong crowd, join a gang, take drugs to forget about the pain. When you behave poorly a fine is issue to teach you a lesson and stop you from going back to your old ways. Your family and community accept you as a new person, as a young adult male who has accepted the responsibilities of adulthood. Siyabonga feels that school play a big role in teaching boys responsibility, values, morals and value of education. The choices we choose today, affects our future.

Siyabonga Bhaliwe of New Eisleben High School



MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES This can determine how your life is going to turn out in the future. Deciding on a career and realising your dreams is not easy. A few guys share with us their dreams for the future.

Bradley Petersen, Lavender Hill High School, Grade 11

Siyabonga Bhaliwe, Sinethemba Secondary, Grade: 10

I want to be like my dad

Achieve my dream

I want to become an economist because I really want to help people. If I become successful I also want to help schools by donating things to them. I want to be like my dad because he helps people from staying out of jail. The way he helps people has opened my eyes. My future will be to help people who needs a helping hand.

I want to become a qualified charted accountant. I am very good at accounting, analyzing things and finding solutions for problems. I believe in myself. I want to achieve my goals. I believe that I have the skill to achieve my dream and become a fully qualified and successful chartered accountant! Aden Bartes, Elsies River High School, Grade: 9

To be motivated

To help the community

Bongani Makhoba is a young man in my community who has motivated me to work harder to be successful. He become someone important out of nothing. We grew up together and he was like an older brother to me. I am also motivated by Nelson Mandela who stood up for his country and democracy.

I want to become a motor engineer. My father is the person who inspires me. I want to become a motor engineer because I like to work on cars. I also want to be a tourist and travel around the world. I also want to cycle for the Argus Tour every year when there is a chance. I want to help my community so that I can be a hero for them.

Edwin Solomons, Lavender Hill High School, Grade:11

How do you make the right career choice? Many of us don’t know how to make the right choices. We do not know what we want to do after finishing matric. We must make plans for our future whilst still at school and not wait until we have finished school.

Ashley Gogo, Cathkin High School, Grade: 12

We must look at the school subjects that we are good at and enjoy. This will give us an idea about the possible future career that might suits us. Sometimes our friends, family and teachers can confuse us. Advising what they think is best for us but might not be what we are interested in. Always make our own choices, work hard and we will achieve good things in life and our dreams and goals will come true.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. - Edward Everett Hale



Working with people

Vuyo Nakano, Sinethemba High School, Grade 11

My dream is to become a hotel manager because I like working with people. I like to meet new faces from other countries. I can achieve this dream by not forcing myself to be part of a cool gang. I must know what I want and I must think about where I come from and where I want to go I have a huge opportunity to achieve this dream my family is there for support.

Thukela Maqetuka, Sinethemba High School, Grade11

In the navy

Architecture is a good career

Mikael Esau, Elsies River High School, Grade: 9

Masixole Lubambo, New Eisleben High School, Grade: 12

I never though that I would be interested in architecture. At primary school we were taught how to do technical drawings. I was told by the teacher that I am good at it and started taking interest in it. My grade 7 technology teacher told me that architecture is a good career for me. I have a natural skill for drawing. I enjoy drawing houses and other buildings when I do my projects and planning my models.

Show our country I want to be a tour guide. I am interested in working with people; especially tourists. I want to show them our country. The different places, towns, cities, country sides and how our people live and survive. I want to show them our history, culture and traditions. I want to show them South Africa and freedom.

Brandon Simon, Mountview High School, Grade: 10

My dream is to become a navigator at the navy. I already have the right subjects for my dream like geography, life science, etc. The reason I want to go to the navy is because to make our country a safer place for me and my fellow South African brothers and sisters. How am I going to make my come? Is to study hard and not to get involved with gangsters and drugs. I want to make my family and friends.

Dream big

Make a difference

I think my dream is to become the world’s most know business man. I will be owning a big company which will be the best in my field. The reason I want to be a business man is because I want to be like Mzoli. He is very successful and w i t h ou t fi n i sh i n g h i s schooling. I want to achieve my dream because want to have the skills to run a business.

I want to be a man of influence to my people. My dream is to make a safe community for my people. I want to stop crime. Remember you have an influence towards your friends. I want to make a difference Hendry Saal, Mountview High School, Grade:: 10

Career counselling centres • • • • • •

University of Cape Town (UCT) Contact Person: Athi Matinise Tel (021) 650-4398 email: University of Western Cape: (UWC) Contact Person: Christopher Hanson (021) 959-2405 email: Cape Peninsula University of Technology (CPUT) Cape Town Campus Contact Person: Annette Kuhn (021) 460-3237 email: Stellenbosch University: Reception (021) 808 4708 Cape Peninsula University of Technology (CPUT) - Bellville Campus Contact Person: Peggy Buyan (021) 959-6182 University of South Africa (Unisa) Bureau for Counselling, 086 1670 411



What your momma and

papa won’t tell you Poor sexual hygiene and having unprotected sex What you should know ! Sexual transmitted infections or diseases - are caused by bacteria or viruses that are transmitted from one person to another during a sexual act and when you come into contact with infected body fluids. Some infections are also spread via contact with infected skin, towels, sheets or cloths. Jock Itch - if you are feeling itchy and have a red scaly rush around your groin area, you have a jocky itch. This is a common condition for boys and is caused by a fungus called Trichophyton rubric. This is a same fungus that causes athlete’s foot in the feet and toes. The fungus grows in the moist area at the head of your penis. Wash everyday and don't wear tight nylon underpants or trousers - wear cotton underpants

Thrush - if your penis is red, sore, itchy; or have white spots and have smelly discards you may have a thrush. Yes boys also get a thrush. It’s a fungal infection called a Candida Albicans. Boys get it through sexual contact and can also get it when they feel run down and get poor sexual hygiene. Wash regularly and keep it clean. Use an anti-fungal cream on an affected area or see a doctor. Balanitis - this is when the glands at the head of your penis becomes inflamed and swollen. It is caused by a bacterial or fungal infection in the warm moist areas on the head of your penis. It is common in uncircumcised boys and men. Wash your penis properly everyday. If your head becomes swollen see a doctor.

Chlamydia - a bacterial infection that infects the urethra, rectum and eyes in both boys and girls. It can also live in your liver, lungs and throat. If you have discharge from the penis, a burning sensation when you pee; and painful swelling and irritation in the eyes; you may be infected. Use a condom and see a doctor. Genital herpes - is caused by a virus called the herpes simplex virus (HSV). There are two types of the virus and they can infect the mouth and nose (cold sores), the genital and anal area and the skin around your fingers (whitlows). Use a condom and see a doctor Genital warts - these are small fleshy bumps that appear in the genital and/or anal area. They are caused by a virus called the human papilloma virus (HPV). Use a condom and see a doctor. If infected have the warts removed by a doctor. Gonorrhoea - is caused by a bacterium that can infect your cervix, urethra, rectum, and throat. It used to be known as the clap. The infection is mainly found in the semen of infected men. Use a condom and see a doctor. If infected take your medication Pubic lice - are tiny insects found in pubic hair. Also known as crabs. They are also found in your eyelashes, eyebrows, other facial Body odour - from age 10 to 17 you will notice that you sweet more. Hair will grow all over your body. Some boys start earlier than others. You also become sexually more aware, curious and experimental. It is also a time when you develop a strong body odour. Wash regularly, at least twice a day. Use an underarm deodorant that works for you!

Sigma - this is white and yellow substance around your penis and foreskin. This is totally natural if you don't wash it builds up becomes smelly and can become a breeding ground for infections around the groin area. Wash everyday - pull your foreskin back and clean properly. Menshealth Clinic Specialising in men’s sexual health Cape Town Central 9 Adderley Street, Cape Town 8010 021 421 8720

Underwear and socks – this you must wash and change everyday!

SASHA (The South African Sexual Health Association) Helpline: 0860 100 262

Men’s Clinic International's help line for all your sexual health concerns. Speak to trained counsellors and get the answers you 0860 362 867



What is your dream career? Take this fun personality test to see which career would suit you 6. What would you rather do in 1. If you had an evening off, your spare time? what would you rather do? A) Go to a party B) Stay home and surf the Internet C) Work on a hobby such as scrap booking or model building D) Go to a movie

2. Which section of the newspaper do you turn to first? A) Advice column or letters to the editor B) News C) Sports D) Entertainment

3. Which book would you rather receive as a gift? A) Chicken soup for the soul B) A brief history of time C) How things work D) An art book for your coffee table

4. Which of the following would your friends say best describes you? A) A people person B) Intelligent C) Handy D) Creative

5. It’s your turn to choose the movie. What’s your first choice? A) A romantic comedy such as Sleepless in Seattle B) A thought-provoking drama such as A Beautiful Mind C) An action-adventure movie such as Star Wars D) An independent film such as What the Bleep Do We Know?

A) Catch up with friends over coffee B) Organise your closets C) Garden or do home renovations D) Write poetry

7. You are at a social event. Who would you rather join? A) A large group that is laughing a lot B) A small group having a lively discussion C) Several people playing a game such as pool or darts D) An individual who looks like an interesting person

8. You have the chance to be on a reality show. You choose: A) A show where your interpersonal skills can help you win, such as Survivor, The Apprentice, or The Bachelor B) None. You think reality shows are a mindless waste of time C) A show that gives you the chance to work hands-on to improve something, such as Trading Spaces D) A show where you can win on the basis of your talent, such as American Idol or The Cut

If you answered mostly As, Your ideal career probably involves working with people in roles that include mentoring, negotiating, instructing, consulting, supervising, persuading, speaking, serving, or assisting. Possible career choices include teacher, human resources, flight attendant, life coach, day-care worker, personal assistant.

If you answered mostly Bs, Your ideal career probably involves working with information including t a s k s s u c h as s y n t h e s i s i n g , coordinating, analysing, compiling, computing, copying, or comparing. Possible career choices include: library assistant, editor, web developer, professional organiser, accountant, private investigator.

If you answered mostly Cs, Your ideal career probably involves working with things. Tasks you might do in these careers include setting up, precision working, controlling, driving, operating, tending, feeding, or handling. Possible career choices include: chef, repair person, carpenter, collectibles dealer, veterinary assistant, mechanic.

If you answered mostly Ds, Your ideal career is probably

Young men’s forum street soccer tournament Molo Songololo in partnership with the City of Cape Town’s Sport & Recreation Department hosted a street soccer tournament


Mount View High

School on 27th November 2010. The tournament formed part of the 16 Days No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign. Eight School took part each entering two teams.

The champions from Mountview High School, Athburg United.

The runner-ups from Mountview High School team The team which represented New Eisleben High School

Sinethemba High’s female player leads her team to victory against the New Eisleben High School team.

Under-16 team from Mountview High showing the red card against child abuse, exploitation and trafficking

From left: Shaldon Uithaler, tournament co-ordinator with team members from and Cedar High School and Luhlaza High School

Family and friends came to support their teams and join in the fun

Molo Songololo’s Ronnie Ngalo with tournament spectators

Published by Molo Songololo, Physical Address: 46 Trill Road, Observatory, Cape Town, 7925 Telephone: (021) 448 5421, Fax (021) 448 204 Funded by Afrika Kontakt and Operation a Day’s Work from Denmark

Childrens Act Pamphlet  

Grow up with violence and crime everyday is not easy. It makes you loose your dreams and hopes for the future. Only those who are determined...