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m oder nL IFEST Y L E

C A N A D A 300! by john murray lewis This year, we celebrate Canada's 150th birthday—but why stop there? We asked Mississaugans young and old about their hopes and dreams for Canada's next 150 years—and the brave new world of 2167!

much the only thing keeping us going at this point.”

--Asher and Cleo, millennials

and 10 - 1 = 9. Nine! The Nine-Pointed Star! It was never hidden beneath any legendary strip mall—it was here, in our hearts, the whole time! Oh man, it's so obvious!”

“Look. So-called 'experts' will tell you that this real estate 'bubble' is going to 'burst,' but they don't know what they're talking about. Think about it. If we were in a bubble, how could we tell? Bubbles are invisible. Trust me, this market is not going to cool off, not today, not tomorrow, not 150 years from now, when only the richest Sultans of Arabia can afford to own property, and the rest of us live as serfs on the land we once called home. Buy now!”

--Horatio Lee, boy detective

--Jenny Singh, uninformed child

--Shelley Hendricks, Realtor

“2167. Wow. Can you imagine the kind of stools they'll have? The advances in stool technology they'll witness? The two-legged stool... you think it could happen? Ha! Not in my lifetime, but in another 150 years... who knows? The sky's the limit, when it comes to stools!”

“I think jazz is going to come back in a big, big way.”

--Don Cherry, seconds before Ron MacLean emerged from the shadows to sedate him

“I want the Canada of 2167 to be a fair and just society for all. There should be opportunities for everybody, like indigenous peoples and new immigrants and the homeless. And on the world stage, I dream of a Canada that upholds the highest standards of peace and goodwill.”

--Frank Mancuso, stool enthusiast “If we work really hard, maybe, just maybe, our generation will be able to screw over future generations as badly as the baby boomers screwed over ours. That's pretty


--Oscar Peterson, ghost “Assuming my cryogenic life extension pod malfunctions, my only wish is that Mississauga one day realizes its ultimate purpose: to be a place where every man, woman and child can live in peace, free from the terror of birds and other flying animals.”

--Hazel McCallion, former mayor “Canada 300. 300... 30 times 10. Mississauga was incorporated as a city in 1974, and 19 + 7 + 4 = 30. There's only one Mississauga,

“Canada 300. I love it. Love it! Good Canadian boys. Not like those pinkos over in Europe. Those Russians, I tell you, they wouldn't last one century. And we've got three, you hear me? And don't get me started on mandatory helmets. First they turn our nation's finest into a buncha pansies, then what? Bicyclists? Over my dead body! Canada 300. Good. Canadian. Boys.”

“Fools! Such mortal hubris—to entertain the fantasy that there will even be an earth to walk upon 150 years hence! Cast aside your aspirations, humans, for I, Fenrir, the world-rending wolf of death, shall feast upon the flesh of your descendants when I sound the horn of Ragnarok!”

--Fenrir, the world-rending wolf of death “Woof! Woof, woof, woof! Woof!”

--Chad, know-it-all dog

Modern Mississauga Magazine - Early Summer 2017  

Mississauga's premier lifestyle magazine

Modern Mississauga Magazine - Early Summer 2017  

Mississauga's premier lifestyle magazine