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Goodbye 17th April 2010 – 7th November 2012 Matthew Humphreys


17th April 2010 1633h MUM Bye love, be strong, be strong, strong, be strong love. Phone me when you come away. Phone me.

26th April 2010 1540h DAD (In Sign) Where is he, over there? MUM Better go love, you’ll miss your bus, better go might be early.

10th May 2010 1509h MUM Yeah, yeah yeah. Come on Monday help Dad go in hospital the week after, ok. MATTHEW (Whisper) Yes, (inaudible) be Sunday. MUM Yeah.

17th May 2010 1504h MUM All this hospital business, fine fine fine, ok. DAD (In Sign) Warm warm warm, ok. DAD & MATTHEW Laugh

MUM Give my love to Lea. Let me know when you’ve (inaudible). DAD (In Sign) Bye, where is he, where, over there? MUM Bye. MUM You’ll miss your bus Matthew. Don’t miss your bus, yeah. MATTHEW Laughs

2nd JUNE 2010 1507h MUM And um I am trying hard, just tell her to talk to me, I go a bit off kinda worry about her when I don’t hear from her, she’s been phoning me but over the whit week she’s not phoned. I blame Mark because I felt I pushed her and you to come before because I put the whit week for Mark. MATTHEW (Whisper) Don’t worry about it. MUM No, I’m trying to balance the whole family. MATTHEW (Whisper) Just keep texting. MUM Yeah, be strong. Yeah but you understand now you’ve read it. MATTHEW (Whisper)

DAD (In Sign) Soon bus soon. (Speaking) Run, everything arrive safely. MUM Do you want to speak to Alison, on Tuesday, Tuesday ok I told her you agree right. Ok right you are right you are. Keep in touch, if Mark comes I’ll let you know when he is coming. That’s fine, that’s fine. Ok. Give my love to Lea. (Inaudible), work, work. Take care.

3rd JUNE 2010 1531h MUM Take you and Lea out for an evening meal while the sun’s shining near the riverside all right so you don’t have to cook just go out have a little drink on the riverside, relax talk, talk as much as you can together by the riverside, all right. Ok, all right. You had a stressful day a busy day. Yes I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine duck, I’ve got to be strong, when you get to my age you’ve got to be strong. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah I know duck. DAD (In Sign) Lovely and warm. MUM Yeah, it’s beautiful.

Don’t miss your bus Matthew its important you get your bus, (Inaudible). (Inaudible), bus. Yeah give love to Lea.

9th JUNE 2010 1508h MUM Don’t worry if I don’t (inaudible), money put it in your pocket, (inaudible), yeah fine take care. Run, it’s getting late, it’s getting, no, it’s getting late. MATTHEW (Inaudible)

14th JUNE 2010 1507h MUM I feel so isolated, honest to god you know when you read about couples going to Switzerland taking their own life when they think they’ve got no hope, hey I’ve put my family first, I live for my family I love my children. I’m not like that, I wouldn’t dream of doing it but sometimes at the end of the day what has made them do it, they’ve felt how I’ve felt, not getting the support they need, and feeling that there is no hope understand. I don’t know, that’s why I said to Mark, you and Linda must come down more often, not over do it there’s no excuse with Linda, no excuse, in the future I mean there’s no excuse. I’ve got my mum in Australia, understandable losing out that she would have been more understanding, understand? She’s been through it, I can’t just talk to her when I want to lots of things I can’t do, that’s how I’m feeling at the moment, but speak to Linda tonight, I am thinking about the family, yeah I am thinking about the family love. DAD Bye Matthew. See you Sunday.

MUM I’m in no state of mind to keep texting. MATTHEW (Whisper) Do what you want to do. MUM I said to Linda I mean I want to, but my mind and my feelings I just don’t know what to say, understand? Ok, all right, thanks for everything love, take care. DAD Bye Matthew, see you Sunday, love to Lea. MUM Take care, thanks for everything, suns come out at least. Hope you get home all right fine. Take care. (Inaudible), come as early as you can.

21st JUNE 2010 2000h MUM (In Sign) Bye

26th JUNE 2010 1700h MUM Monday I’ll tell her make it natural you see. You make sure you phone even if it is on Monday it does not matter. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah. DAD See you next week.

MUM What have you done? You’ve got to lock it now, it wasn’t locked, it wasn’t locked in the first place. Tell him to stay her because he’s, no tell him to stay here. DAD Bye Matthew. MUM Tell him to stay here because he’s not allowed, it’s too hot. Give my love to them all ok, get Mark to text me to release fathers’ worry. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah Brilliant, get Mark to text, yeah. Be quick. DAD Bye Matthew. MUM Go go go. Remember, remember to ring. We’ll be fine.

2nd JULY 2010 1535h MUM But God forgive me, if he’s got it somewhere else, we’ve got to let him die, we’ve got to. You agree with me don’t you? You agree with me, there’s no good him going through operations taking pieces out whilst he’s alive is it, is it now? MATTHEW (Inaudible)

MUM Sad isn’t it, sometimes I feel like they are experience, experiments on him, sometimes how I feel you know, they did their best, yeah, it was the best treatment all round for him, it could have been ten times worse with the other treatment, but it would have been never ending. Take care, take care love, give my love to Lea and text me when you’re on the train, if you don’t hear from me, it may be late tonight late, just before I’ve (inaudible) take care you’ve got your drinks? Take care love. Yeah yeah I’ll be fine, don’t waste your time, take care give Lea my love yeah, any problems let me know you can always cancel it you know. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Don’t miss your bus love, take care.

6th JULY 2010 1628h MUM (Inaudible)

6th AUGUST 2010 1702h MUM (In Sign) Don’t push. DAD (In Sign) It bad I did not see that. MUM He pushed me forward. DAD Bye Matthew. See you Friday.

MUM All right, take care, pull your trousers up please I can’t stand them being like that, please please, it looks so untidy. Look after yourself. Go now love.

13th AUGUST 2010 1604h MUM Take care thank you so much. Thank you for everything, pick my credit up do it as soon as you can then I’ll know how much I’ve got and then if I want some more I’ll let you take it home until you come back again. Take care, look after yourself. MUM (In Sign) Over there. MATTHEW Laughs MUM Take care thank you for everything Matthew take care, phone me when you’re on the train, take care thanks for everything.

20th AUGUST 2010 1704h MUM Better, better be quick love because,(inaudible). Bye. DAD (In Sign) Where is he? MUM (Inaudible)

24th AUGUST 2010 1606h MUM Yes, freezing cold, all right then. Go on you’ll miss the bus.

6th SEPTEMBER 2010 1557h MUM Show him, show him and one for Lea hopefully you’ll be able to come down one day. DAD Matthew, Matthew (inaudible), give love to Lea. MUM Ok take care, book, the books MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, bring a bag next time. Be quick duck.

17th SEPTEMBER 2010 1559h MUM He breaks down its hard, I try to rise above it but I break down a lot on my own. DAD Give my love to Lea. MATTHEW (In Sign) OK DAD And safely home tell mum.

MUM It would be nice for his anniversary if she could come down next weekend yep go straight to the Toby. And let us know ok, and let us know and on Saturday spend a nice day together. Better go you’ll miss your bus. DAD (In Sign) No coat, where coat, no coat nothing. MUM He has not go no coat. Take care love. Thanks for everything.

25th SEPTEMBER 2010 1733h MUM Don’t do it, don’t do that, I don’t like it. Take care.

29th SEPTEMBER 2010 1234h MUM Bloomin hell. You’ll have to go duck, fathers, (inaudible). Text me when you’re on the train, brilliant. Give my love to Lea.

30th SEPTEMBER 2010 1708h MUM You better go duck, you’ll miss your bus, give my love to Lea, see you tomorrow, take care.

1st OCTOBER 2010 1432h MUM Just go for your work duck, just go for it. I forgot to tell them about that, I didn’t see that.

Catch my, catch the side of my leg when I, ay, go round the corner. Ay the gutter, the gutter, ay it’s really bad, get em to see to it. Ay, yeah yeah yeah. Take care duck, don’t miss your bus please.

4th OCTOBER 2010 1706h MUM Right love, (inaudible), be quick.

11th OCTOBER 2010 1531h MUM All right. Don’t miss your bus duck, (inaudible). OK. Stay there. Don’t miss your bus love. Go on you’ll miss your bus, shoo. See you Friday, give my love to Lea, my love thank you for everything, take care, text me, text. Matthew! (Inaudible).

15th OCTOBER 2010 1633h MUM Thanks for everything today, yeah, text me when you get home, yeah and let me know how you get on next week, ay right you are. Thank you duck, yeah I’m tired, I’m tired, take care.

22nd OCTOBER 2010 1558h MUM Haven’t put the gutter up have they. Birds! Go Matthew, go love, give my love to Lea. Thanks for everything, Thanks for everything, take care.

30th OCTOBER 2010 1847h MUM The time’s gone! LEAH I know, I know, I know. MUM Five more minutes, you want to be they’re early just in case. MATTHEW Yeah, yeah, yeah just because. MUM They want to go off early you know what they’re like, take care, text me when you’re on the train and go straight home if you can, and get some nice warm food. LEAH Thank you very much, I had a lovely day. MUM Some warm food for home, ok give you time to save and come again towards the end of the month it can be any day really it does not have to be Saturday. It’s up to you if she can get any a day off in the week it can be any day, if you know it does not have to be Saturday, ok, take care Matthew and get by, look after yourself, and keep warm. If there’s no bus come back. LEAH Ok

5th NOVEMBER 2010 1528h MUM And before twelve not in the afternoon because I have Peter’s van, then it doesn’t give you much time to get back in the afternoon you see, let me know and I’ll let you know how I get on with the washing machine, ok? All right?

DAD Tell Lea, Tell Lea, (inaudible). MUM Give my love to Lea love, (inaudible), I keep forgetting. DAD Give my love to Lea. MUM Wrap up well, are you sure you’re warm enough, remember to get the rainwear, your fathers mac? It’s not too big! Pull it tight its got ties, it’s wet. (In Sign) It’s wet. DAD (In Sign) I’m not worried, not worried. MUM (In Sign) It’s wet. DAD (In Sign) Where is he?

(In Over (In You’ll miss your

MUM Sign) there. Voice) bus, miss your bus.

16th NOVEMBER 2010 1502h MUM Bye duck, thanks for everything. MATTHEW (Whisper) That’s ok.

MUM Let me know when you’re on the train, just let ne know when you’re on the train duck, please. Love you, see you next Thursday take care, if you can’t come with the weather, no no, let her come, let her come. I’ll be fine, if you can’t come I’ll explain to her, you’ve got her number haven’t ya? Yeah let her know bye bye. If anything crops up I can cope.

25th NOVEMBER 2010 1434h MUM Matthew don’t waste time, (inaudible), no. Give my love to Lea. Take care hopefully, hopefully tell them about the gutter. I know, I know and there they haven’t finished the job. What’s that skip doing there? MATTHEW (Inaudible)

6th DECEMBER 2010 1459h MUM Have you got your bus fare? DAD Bye Matthew, when home ring, take care. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Hey, hang on Matthew, how much two pound? Day rider Matthew, if you can ya, you go from there to the railway station? MATTHEW (Inaudible)

MUM Wrap up well. Should I carry on them today? If I can but if he comes home at night, but if he comes home tonight I won’t. DAD Remember post letter. MUM But not if its dark, but not if its dark no, I won’t go out in the dark no, if he can get down before four, right you are, wrap up well duck, give my love to Lea. I’ll have to go in he’ll catch cold, I mean I’m freezing. Its bad for, yes. Please Matthew I have to go in. Go home give my love to Lea. Bye bye, the bus! Take care, let me know when you’re on the train.

17th DECEMBER 2010 1606h MUM Ay, yeah, yeah, yeah, be quick love. Get home, go straight home be near home its important, yeah ta ta. DAD Run. MUM Take care. LEAH Are we too early for the bus? MATTHEW No we’ll be fine.

8th JANUARY 2011 1459h MUM Walk straight don’t take photos love, bye bye, give my love to Lea, bye bye duck, run. Take care, thanks for everything love, take care.

15th JANUARY 2011 1826h MUM Have your coat keep warm, text me when you’ve got on the train duck, text me when you’ve got on the train.

29th JANUARY 2011 1737h MUM Off you go then, like a crocodile. LEAH Laughs MUM Bye, thanks for everything. MASOODA See you tomorrow. MARK Hums a Tune MUM Been a very happy day love, thanks for everything.

17th FEBRUARY 2011 1524h MUM We won’t stand out cause it’s freezing. If you miss your bus come back and get a taxi, be quick, bye bye, go now its nearly half past, take care, run, run.

11th MARCH 2011 1542h MUM Two nights, just two nights sleep or three nights whatever, we’ll pay for all the costs. DAD Run, bye bye Matthew. MUM Take care, you’re bus fare all right? MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah, yeah, yeah bout three pound to town better be quick. Better go thank you for everything, ring ring when you’re on the train and when you get home.

17th MARCH 2011 1537h MUM It’s terrible having heart breaks and everything, have you seen it? MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Yeah, I do feel sorry for them, better not miss it its gone half past you know. Are they not in? Give my love to Lea duck and try to arrange her to come one day in the week and we’ll go straight to town, spend a day in town, but if I hear about the hospital I’ll let you know, but she could come down then. MATTHEW (Inaudible)

MUM I don’t think they’ll write straight away, oooh, it’ll take some sorting out. All right! He tells me off. DAD You arrive home (inaudible) give my love to Lea, take care arrive home. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM No you can’t keep coming, I might not have heard something wait til I’ve heard something first. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Well leave it til the weekend, I don’t need you in the week I’ve got plenty of food, I’ve got plenty of food, say Friday or Saturday ok Friday or Saturday all right because I’ve got to. DAD Run, run. MUM Because I’m ok, I’ve got peter’s van on Thursday. Don’t worry about us duck, think about work first I’m concerned about you and work. DAD Bye Matthew.

1st APRIL 2011 1500h MUM Thanks for doing everything, right. DAD (In Sign) Where, where is he? MUM Spend a day in town, (inaudible), phone me.

12th APRIL 2011 1455h MUM Go straight home, don’t keep them waiting, don’t keep him waiting Matthew. MATTHEW Hi there you all right? TAXI DRIVER All right Mate MATTHEW Very good thanks, yeah

17th APRIL 2011 1606h MUM Don’t waste time. DAD (In Sign) Matthew, where? LEAH How you doing? TAXI DRIVER Not bad, yourself?

14th MAY 2011 1845h MUM All right duck, thanks for everything, text me when you’re on the train, right, ok.

18th JUNE 2011 1426h MUM (Inaudible)

24th JUNE 2011 1913h MUM Text me, (inaudible). Hope to see you soon, hope to see you in two weeks time, ok, ring ok, two weeks time.

10th JULY 2011 1524h MUM Remember when you come up next time here’s twenty pounds, don’t loose it please. MATTHEW Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. MUM Put it away safe, you’ll miss your bus, don’t do that, you’ll miss your bus. DAD Bye Lea. MUM Umm twenty pound worth ok? As soon as you can, as soon as you can all right? Take care love, have you got your bike at the station in London? Have you got all your bags?

LEAH (Whisper) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah MUM Off you go otherwise you’ll miss it. Take care love, see you soon.

20th JULY 1500h DAD See you, see you (inaudible). MUM I didn’t realise, I knocked meself on the wall. Take care don’t miss your bus, all right goodbye. Let me know when you’re on the train duck. Love to Lea, bye bye.

2nd AUGUST 2011 1510h MUM Yeah, give my love to Leah, yeah, let me know how you get on get home, get home ok yeah? Ow! DAD (In Sign) I thought Matthew was there, and I walked and hit, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Where is he, where is he? MUM You all right with the money? A pound be quick! DAD (In Sign) Bus run be quick! MUM Here you are, take care, is that all you got, do up your coat.

MATTHEW Bye dad.

24th AUGUST 1556h MUM Get a roller, take care it’s open its open, yeah take care. Don’t miss your bus duck. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM (Inaudible), text me when you’re the train.

20th SEPTEMBER 2011 1500h MUM Probably ok, (inaudible), or when she has a break, take care. DAD See you next week. MUM We’re not standing at the door Matthew listen, we’re not standing at the door because of the cold, I get, (inaudible). Forget about that duck there’s people next door forget about that. Give my love to Lea Take care, look after yourself and text me when you’re home.

29th SEPTEMBER 2011 2029h MATTHEW He doesn’t know where I am so I use my phone to wave at him so he can see the light. Wow I am actually free, it feels weird, I should be sleeping on the sofa.

11th OCTOBER 2011 1821h MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Bye, just have all the new tablets and leave the old ones alone, ok, come again. Listen Matthew I mean I appreciate what you have done, I mean you know me I just can’t sit back, I can’t god help me, god help me he’s demanding. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM He needs to stand back a bit not keep (inaudible), take care my love don’t get upset. Take care.

29th OCTOBER 2011 1803h MUM I’ve lost interest in making this the way I want it, I feel I’ve wasted my money on it now, that’s how I feel, I’m not happy here, not happy at all. LEAH I’m sorry we have to go. MUM The only thing that keeps me going is the doctors is up the road, little shops on the corner and the chemist, that’s the only thing that keeps me going and its on reach for all of you to get here, that’s all, apart from that I’ve lost interest in my home. And this stress. DAD Bye Matthew. MUM Its hard, its no good words like I said, words are no good, you’ve lived, you’ve lived, Linda’s lived, Mark’s

lived, to understand what I’ve been talking about in the past, why I long to see you more often, only action speaks louder than words, this had to happen, but it’s sad we have to suffer for it, all right, all right. DAD (In Sign) Run, run. MUM All right take care, and text me when you’re on the train, thanks so much, look after yourself, remember me to your mum, tell her when I’m stronger, hopefully once in December, I don’t know, it’s a long way for her to come though. LEAH (Whisper) She’d love to meet you maybe in January or February. MUM He pressures me a bit, never mind, you know I’m hanging on, all right, ok. DAD Bye, bye. MUM I won’t stand at the door cause it gets chilly, lovely, take care, thanks for everything, I feel better, I promise ya I’ll let you know how I am on Monday, let me know when you’ve rang them, Wednesday or Friday got arrangements on Thursday and thank you for coming you need to get home duck. I am sick and going to the hospital quite a few times before Christmas. I’ve got to be firm with him, I could do without the workmen, but it has to be done, it’s their mistake they should not have left it like that. Ta ta anyway, ok.

11th NOVEMBER 2011 1911h MUM Get the train ok. Ta ta. Take care and look after yourself. MATTHEW (Whisper) See you soon. MUM Yeah, see you soon. See you in December. LEAH Seventeenth. MUM Yeah I’ll write it on the calendar.

30th NOVEMBER 2011 1503h MUM I don’t want to upset, I don’t want to upset you two, but I know I know now I’m not going to be the same ever again, I’m never, I’ve been so active, I hurt all the time, but the hospital told me in no way I should be quiet when I’m in pain, it’s the same with this. MATTHEW (Whisper) Tell the doctor, promise me. MUM Yes yes, but I said to Linda you’ve got to give me time to tell the three shires, it’s not better it’s worse it annoys me when it cracks on certain movements, yeah yeah even if I have to have treatment I have to have it. I’ve not got to think about him anymore, I’ve got to think about myself, yeah but anyway thanks for everything yeah. Love to Lea.

Two weeks will soon come love, hopefully, hopefully you’ve got some work before I see you again hopefully yeah, let me know how you get on. Take care wrap up well, get a weatherproof outfit it’s important, yes, you need like a showerproof, light rainwear. Thanks for everything duck.

14th DECEMBER 2011 1531h MUM Are you sure you’re all right with the hand thing because um the other one has a hand piece, I don’t want you to have asthma. Bye bye take care. DAD Bye Matthew, give love to Lea and see you Tuesday. MUM Oh, it wasn’t locked, give my love to Lea Tuesday will soon come, any problem with the weather do not worry, have to leave it til Saturday or if the trains, something happens we can still go on Saturday we can still do that ok just get a few things vegetables stocking fillers, Marks and Spencer’s buffet food.

20th DECEMBER 2011 1727h MUM Look after each other, look after each other I don’t think we’d survive without you. DAD Where’s Lea? Lea! LEAH Laughs MUM Thanks for everything Matthew, look after your self and keep warm, ok, don’t spend too much hanging around outside, outdoors ok, has it come yet?

MATTHEW Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s out there MUM Yeah, take care, you better go duck, thanks for everything and text me when you’re on the train. Bye, bye bye you’ll have to be quick duck cause we got cold, we got cold standing at the door. Bye bye.

25th DECEMBER 2011 1651h MUM They only had very tiny ones, I deal with it but I wasn’t down there be funny, no it’s good I mean, just take your time let me know when you’re off to town then I know where you are then probably half an hour before you’re coming home let me know and I’ll warm things up ok? Do you want to put some things in a bag, Marks and Spencer’s bag, take the Marks and Spencer’s bag out and put the things in it so it’s no so bulky you all right put the socks in there. LEAH (Inaudible) MUM Oh I see, I see, I see (inaudible), take care love and look after yourself and sleep well, you all right, (inaudible), take care and sleep well. DAD Good bye Lea. MUM Don’t drink any more have a coffee or something like that a night cap. Warm enough yeah? It’s quite cold now. Put your hood up if you feel it’s too cold. See you tomorrow, just let me know when you’ve gone to town and when you’re back, ok, take care.

26th DECEMBER 2011 1922h MUM You did the shopping for me a lot of running around, ok. Not front of everyone, don’t do it in front of them you see, it’s for the taxi today and the shopping and for taxi to go to the station tomorrow, please. LEAH Thank you it’s very kind of you. MUM Ok. Things cost, things cost things. Where you going Matthew you haven’t given me a kiss. DAD See you tomorrow morning. MUM Tomorrow I won’t be able to make too much fuss you know with the family on top of me, so take care keep warm and pick it up take care we’ll see you tomorrow. DAD Take care see you tomorrow. MUM Text me. DAD, LEAH, MATTHEW Laugh MUM Hang on. DAD Watch the steps.

27th DECEMBER 2011 1227h MUM It’s here, you don’t think so I don’t think so. LEAH He brought me a ring for Christmas and I’ve lost it already, terrible I feel really bad about it. LINDA Oh dear, was it here? LEAH I think it was in the hotel. MUM It’s gone up. MATTHEW See you later bye, there it is.

10th JANUARY 2012 1256h MUM So its your birthday next, come on your birthday don’t worry if you can’t come next week, its, up to you, its up to you. I can’t do two weeks close together, you and your time and your work, with you and your time and your work, you see, so um probably the next time will be your birthday, ok? DAD Matthew, see you in two weeks. MUM It’s hard for daddy, yeah, its hard, very hard, but we do our best, well I don’t tell father how I’m hurting, but the trouble in the last few weeks is everywhere hurts now, everywhere understand? Only when I take so many of them the pain will go, but I don’t want to keep taking so many of them, although the pain has come back I don’t really know what it is.

Thursday, Thursday I’m going to the doctors, Thursday morning, don’t ring me on Thursday morning. DAD Give my love to Lea. You be home about five o’clock? Before? Four o’clock? Mum ring you. MUM She wanted to see me, because she wasn’t too pleased with the tablets, I told her. But he, but she said I had to go on another blood pressure tablet, they stopped it in hospital because I didn’t need it. With hospital I wasn’t moving around, I was just lying down in bed you see. The strain of everything going round is so. But never mind love, give love to Lea. Fasten your coat duck, fasten it, fasten it. We wont stay too long duck. Try and save for summer. I don’t want to stand to long love I’m cold. Don’t miss your bus.

28th JANUARY 2012 1841h MUM Thank you for everything Matthew. So even if it’s the same week he’ll have to go to hospital it wont matter will it if its close to the eighteenth if you have to go to hospital it wont matter. It’s important just to ask, ask, ask doctor, ask them at the hospital, just ask its gone six months and wondered if we have to wait longer, that’s all. We’ll wave, we’ll stay here until you go. Are you sure you’ve got everything? You’ve got everything love, bye bye. MATTHEW Have you got everything? LEAH Yeah.

18th FEBRUARY 2012 1910h MUM Didn’t you have a bag? Oh no, no, no. Take care, got everything? Bye bye love. No it’s too cold, too cold. Tell him to go in, cold, cold. I’ll go to the window, go to the window.

2nd MARCH 2012 1337h MUM It takes half an hour. DAD Bye Matthew. MUM Bye. Are you surprised? Show your teacher what I can do, I have good eye really. But my arthritis gets in the way of pressing, it freezes. MATTHEW Red is record. MUM When it’s red I’ve got to press it? MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Ah, red is record! Don’t miss your bus. Give our love to Lea. Let me know you get home, and get her to text me I feel better, ok? Take care. I’ll be more professional than you. MATTHEW Laughs

7th MARCH 2012 2027h MUM What time is it that I’ve got to be there? MATTHEW 1030, wicked. LEAH How long does it take to get there? Ten minutes? If we get here for 930? MUM Yeah, and I go straight, if its quarter to ten it doesn’t matter, what times my appointment? LEAH 1030. MUM Yeah, if its quarter to ten or ten o’clock it doesn’t matter. As long as you’re here for ten to pick me up use the same taxi, ok? I shouldn’t have any problem I’m fine. Keep in contact. You might hear and you might not hear from the hospital, ok, because I’ve got another appointment. Don’t let them pick, don’t let them pick the 20th of March, the week after is ok , yes ok? MATTHEW Yeah, yeah, yeah it’s fine.

19th MARCH 2012 2012h MUM No, No, door no. It’s cold he doesn’t realise, I don’t want to be standing at the door. Tell him to stay here with me.

DAD Taxi. MUM Yes, taxi is here. DAD Thank you for coming I enjoyed today. Arrive safely home. Phone mum. MUM Have you got taxi fare? LEAH Yeah, yeah, yeah. MATTHEW Say goodbye to him because he’s just sort of staying there. Mum Be quick, you can’t keep the taxi waiting. I’ll just stay here because I have to shut the door. Bye bye love take care, and go straight, bye, text me, text me. I’ll deal with it. Take care.

24th MARCH 2012 1708h MUM Enjoy yourself, relax. I’ve just got to cook but I’m happy, I’m fine, it’s life, it’s life. If you can come a week before, that’s fine. And if you come on Saturday before Easter just to make up for his birthday it will be fine. I’ll let you know about Thursday evening, take care, all right duck, don’t keep the driver waiting. Better go love the taxi is waiting. Ta ta thank you so much. Keep in touch. Text me tomorrow.

4th APRIL 2012 2034h DAD Now taxi, taxi. Matthew taxi. Bye Lea. MATTHEW Laughs

7th APRIL 2012 1947h MUM Don’t be silly. MATTHEW and DAD Laugh MUM It’s not funny. I don’t like it, be sensible, I’ve got him to look after, I don’t want to be going out into the cold and bringing him back. DAD When you arrive home phone. Thank you for coming. MUM I’m happy, I’m happy you deserve it. Matthew has £40 to spend something on himself, pants whatever. Thanks so much, ring when you’re on the train, ring when you get home please. Thanks a million. Hopefully the operation will be soon, but if there is no operation when will I see you again? LEAH On Tuesday, not on Tuesday but I will text you on Tuesday a date. Maybe Saturday? MUM Right, ok.

MATTHEW We wont leave it too long. MUM Thanks for everything. Prepare now, prepare now.

29th APRIL 2012 1950h LINDA Are you all right? MATTHEW Yeah, yeah I’ve promised to take her away for a weekend. LINDA Bribery! MATTHEW Good to see you. LINDA And you, see you soon! Mum comes out tomorrow. MATTHEW She better do!

4th MAY 2012 1700h

Take Leave him, leave Text me, the Give my

MUM care love. him he’ll understand. taxi is important. love to lea.

5th MAY 2012 1629h MUM Just let me know when you’ve got the train, ok? Thanks for everything Matthew ok.

DAD Take care Matthew, thank you for everything, thank you for coming, see you soon. MUM You wear your anorak all right? Wear it when you go to hospital, I think it’s going to be too hot, it’s going to be an hour, two hours. Take care thank you so much. When you’ve gone I’m going to lock the door and go straight in. I wish it would get warmer. Off you go then, thanks so much for everything. Let me know you’re home. Right you are, thanks so much, stay there. Bye, bye. I’m fine, I’m fine.

8th MAY 2012 1533h MUM I’m happy, because I can prepare on Sunday, be ready for you on Monday. Take care, text me when you’re on the train, text me when all is completed with the hospital and let me know when I can see you again. Better not waste any more time duck. Somebody has pinched a clock and put it on there. LEAH Laughs MUM Text me.

30th MAY 2012 1558h MATTHEW We’ve missed our bus, missed our train. MATTHEW and LEAH Laugh MUM Ta ta duck.

Keep it on, hold it tight. Get him to stay there. Stay there. DAD Bye Lea.

2nd JUNE 2012 1650h MUM I’ll be fine duck, yeah. I’ll be strong, I need to break down. No amount of things will make up for what I have to deal with. The time’s come when I have to think of this, I have to think of getting rid of things. I’ve got too much in the house. See, I’m not talking to him, he doesn’t know you’re there. Have you missed your bus? Go now love, please, don’t miss your bus. I’m so sorry. Keep in touch with me. You or Lea, just talk to me. I’ll be honest with you somebody needs to know how I’m coping with him. I don’t like to tell tales on him. Tell me when you’re on the train and when you get home. Take care, I have confidence now that he’s coming on Thursday because I don’t think I can leave him on his own, he’s not like he used to be. Don’t get all upset, I’m fine now. It needed to come out. Enjoy whatever you do, bye bye.

7th JUNE 2012 1403h Mum Be quick duck, be quick. Dad See you in two weeks. Mum Remember his stamps, don’t let him down. Promise let me know, go on quick.

19th JUNE 2012 1657h MUM On your way home, do it on your way home. DAD Where’s Lea? MUM Thanks for everything, I’m pleased with my physio but it’s affecting my arm. And my neck, but never mind. MATTHEW Have you got everything? LEAH Yeah. MUM When you come on Saturday we’ll go straight to town, Friday sorry. Text me when you’re on the train ok. Let go, let go duck he’s got to learn. Thanks for everything don’t forget to bring all your money. If it’s like this you’ll be all right, light clothes, can’t be to careful it says its going to rain.

22nd JUNE 2012 1930h MUM Have you got everything? See you tomorrow.

23rd JUNE 2012 1738h DAD Bye Matthew, when home phone Mum, I miss you. Thank you for everything. Lea! MUM Thanks for everything, so fix it 3rd July it’s better because it’s important I get my prescription, if not they can deliver it, make sure they deliver it. I can’t go and pick it up. So come as soon as you can, come here first and get a taxi. MATTHEW Text me if you have any problems. MUM No, I should be ok, I’ve got to be careful, I’ve got to be careful. Hopefully I will see Linda on Friday, but it doesn’t matter she’ll probably come the following week.

4th JULY 2012 1840h MUM I like to hear from Matthew, but I also like to hear from you when you’ve got a minute, you give me comfort. Bye bye duck, take care, thanks for everything. DAD Bye. MUM Ta ta, don’t let him wait much longer.

3rd AUGUST 2012 2134h MUM If you want to come before it doesn’t matter, understand, he can follow, or you can meet up later. DAD (Inaudible) MUM Thank you for looking after me, I’ll see you tomorrow, what time, before two?

4th AUGUST 2012 1941h MUM No, no, no duck don’t keep doing that. The taxi where is it? Bye duck keep going.

9th AUGUST 2012 1602h DAD Give my love to Lea. Take care. Mum We can not rush things, I don’t want to put ideas in his head. Like I say I have to tell him she says it’s ok but I really don’t want to put ideas in his head. Best not to say anything. Best to say wait and see. I will tell him when you’ve gone.

23rd AUGUST 2012 1528h DAD Give my love to Lea. MUM Tell him your bus, bus.

Time, time, let him go, let him go. Take care, text me when you get home. Get in touch with Mark.

26th AUGUST 2012 1619h MUM I better let you get out first, better not miss it, take care. Text me when you get home. Take care.

28th AUGUST 2012 1435h MUM If David phones and wants to come tomorrow afternoon accept it, but go to see your friend now and don’t forget my thing. Be careful, keep strong. (Inaudible)

3rd SEPTEMBER 2012 1158h DAD By Matthew, See you later. MUM (In Sign) He will phone me tomorrow morning, ok, ok. (In Voice) Let me know when you’re home, yeah? Take care and give my love to Lea and tell Linda what I’ve said to you, ok. I know she is coming on Wednesday I feel a bit better. Bye bye love. I’ve got to shut the door and lock.

4th SEPTEMBER 2012 1505h DAD Bye Matthew. DAD Cries MUM He’ll be fine love once you’ve gone. I’ll be there for him. DAD (Crying) Give my love to Lea. MUM He’s confused, just open it. Tell him to stay here, stay. Be quick, be quick. Bye bye. Matthew lock for me, ok. You understand now what I mean? Sad, very sad. I’m fine. MATTHEW (Inaudible) MUM Don’t overdo it. MATTHEW Text me if you want to talk to me. MUM You can text me, you can text me. I’ll let you know he’s been ok. Bye bye take care. Take care, talk to Mark and he’s to use his key like you use your key, so father knows I’m safe. Yeah, yeah, yeah take care. So, that’s life, you must tell Linda, I understand how Mum feels now. Bye bye.

14th SEPTEMBER 2012 1432h MUM See you on Monday. As long as you’re here before twelve. Time for us to have our dinner and we leave at half two. All right duck.

17th SEPTEMBER 2012 1712h MUM All I have had to do is take in the truth of what’s happening to me, you’ve seen for yourself how difficult it is, that’s it, how can I feel well, how can I, how can I sleep and eat, I try to fall off and then he’s waking me up, how can I? God only knows how I survive. Sometimes I say to God please don’t make this happen, God told me to let him go, he told me. He told me he’s too much for me, he told me. It’s either that or I won’t last. I have a hard life, I’ve done my best and given him my love. But I know now that I will have to live on my own. DAD (Inaudible) MUM He’s talking to himself, say goodbye to him love.

22nd SEPTEMBER 2012 2035h MUM Text me later on, it could be in the afternoon. Bye bye, sleep well, thank you , I hope I sleep ok. Take care, take care.

29th SEPTEMBER 2012 1124h MUM Ok then, bye.

3rd OCTOBER 2012 1431h MUM Take care love, better go quick, make sure I lock it.

4th OCTOBER 2012 1853h MUM You be careful, I will go to the window. Fasten your coat now it’s getting chilly. Let me know when you’ve got the train and when you’ve got home ok?

6th OCTOBER 2012 2026h MUM I’m sorry I broke down, but it’s a funny thing, it comes and then it goes. LEAH You can’t apologise for that. MATTHEW It’s ok. MUM I’m really sorry, I thought I had broken down enough, but no it just comes, I can’t control it. LEAH You’re being so brave, you’re holding up so strong. I wouldn’t be able to do that. MUM I’ll see you when I see you duck, you have to work hard but come whenever you can. I hope to go to town next time, have a day out.

We could Little Don’t I’m

do a bit of Christmas shopping. things, little things to open. keep the taxi driver waiting. going to go to the window.

LEAH Do you want me to lock the door? MUM Lock the door, yeah.

16th OCTOBER 2012 1636h MUM We’ve a long way to go yet, we’ve a long way to go. You’ve got to. MATTHEW Yes, I will sort everything out. Take care. LINDA Yeah and you. MARK See you later Matt, go. MUM And make a date, he’s got to come again you see. MATTHEW I better go I might miss my bus, I’ll text you when I get home. MUM Take care, oh! Come here love. My love to Lea and take care.

7th NOVEMBER 2012 1243h


A transcription of all Goodbyes. 17th April 2010 - 7th November 2012


A transcription of all Goodbyes. 17th April 2010 - 7th November 2012