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“Life versus more life! I can’t lose.” Philippians 1:21(MSG)

THE PULSE

“Well...anything but those frozen breakfast burritos!”

CPR - Week 6 July 13-17, 2009

MORE KWIK FIX RABID ELK RECIPES

Just in case the camp food is still too bland? You can try one of these 30min. classics right there in your shelter!

KUNG PAO ELK

MACARONI AND ELK

CARAM-ELK FRAPPUCINO

THIS RECIPE REQUIRES YOU TO GET YOUR KARATE ON. FIRST TENDERIZE YOUR RABID ELK WITH FINE KARATE CHOPS. THEN STIR FRY THE RABID MEAT WITH SNOW PEAS AND WATER CHESTNUTS. SERVE WITH RICE.

BRING YOUR MACARONI TO A STROLLING BOIL. ADD YOUR CHUNKS OF RABID ELK, REDUCE HEAT AND LET SIMMER. STRAIN THE WATER. ADD MILK AND VELVEETA CHEESE. STIR AND SERVE WITH A PIECE OF TEXAS TOAST.

SET YOUR CUISINART BLENDER TO PUREE. ADD SHREDDED RABID ELK AND ICE. PUREE UNTIL THE COMBINATION IS SMOOTH. ADD YOUR CARAMEL SAUCE ALONG WITH A CUP OF SILK SOY MILK. SERVE IN GLASS WITH A STRAW.


WHOSE FAULT?

This week things got a little mixed up...a little weird and if the boots below aren’t evidence enough then consider these CPR anomalies... David Oh’s pants stayed above his waist for 94.9% of the week. Cassondra, Heather and Shelby enjoyed their trash duty 96.85% of the week. Jordan did not crack a single joke...on Wednesday! Erin B. ran out of duct tape. Chris Ratliff’s cabin tied for first

Cody did not want to play Super Bear all week (Nurse Ann, please check Cody out!). Mark M. enjoyed and was eager to honor every request for “Hermie the Worm” this week. Shawn C. was not seen wearing his green bandana for 99.54% of the week. Neil R. did not want his picture taken at all this week (Nurse Ann, this may require a visit from a specialist. Please make

this week. Girls Staff cabin was

the call). Johnathan R. did not making a single text this week. Someone call

cleaner than the boys staff all week.

those personal CPR paramedics!

If you’re feeling a little sluggish lately?

If you’re feeling like the wind has been taken out of your sails? If you’re not sure why then I may have the answer. Actually, I’ve got the photos to prove it. Let’s just say a little life has been removed from CPR and it’s not just because we’re in week #6. Our brilliant maintenance crew removed “A Tree For a Life”. Thanks guys!

Whose boots were made for walking?


By the Numbers 0

- The number of dollars the leader of the bug class paid Chris R. this week

2

- The number of enlarged Twix pieces that emerged from the growing machine on Monday night.

17

- The number of staff members that were shaken up after meeting David on the opposite side of the 12 foot Beachball.

DOLLAR DOLLAR BILLS Y’ALL! With all the moolah being earned at CPR this summer we hit the meadow loop to ask, “What are they spending their money on?” Chad was quick and proud to announce, “I just bought me a new John Deere Cap and matchin’ T!”. Shelby was showin’ off her new hair color. CPR’s Next Top Stylist, perhaps? Erika S. is just spend, spend, spend! She was quoted this week, “I just need to catch up with all these big spenders any which way I can.” Easy does it Erka you haven’t even gotten your first check yet! Junior B. was observed

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY UNCONTROLLABLY?

in the Heber-Overgaard Spy Shop purchasgood profit by supplying the leader of the ing face paint and night vision goggles. Dibug class.” Neil R. showed off his newly ane bought a new Cuisinart acquired invisibility cloak on Monday blender, some caramel sauce night. Neil, we hope you bought the “I don’t and Silk Soy milk. She’s offerextended warranty on it because ing a $50 bounty for the rabid you got ripped! Kristelle bought a want to get Elk. Sean O. hit up the Show new scarf this week from bitten by a Low Walgreens for a hair scarf.com. It was 100% Hanes rabid elk” trimmer. Smooth as silk! Now if Cotton.When asked why she buys camp only had a pool you could so many scarves she replied, “I don’t show us your butterfly stroke. Chris R. want to get bitten by a rabid elk.” Jonathan paid off another staff member this week just R. bought his secret pal something else. The to get in the lice check tent. Chris’ explanarest of the staff is trying to buy Johnathan R. tion was...”I thought I might be able to turn a as their secret pal.

KRISTINA

JORDAN

GI-NO

STEPHEN

When I get mad, I cry. Then people call me a baby! And that makes me even more mad and then I cry even more!

When people take my stuffed skunk.

I cry at the thought of all those impressionable minds that I inspire with my bomb making skills.

When i cut onions.

[3]


THE PULSE FUNNIES

WELL, HERE ARE YOUR FUNNIES. CONTRIBUTORS THIS WEEK WERE DAVID S., SHAWN C., AND SEAN O’BRIEN

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