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Chapter Twenty-Eight Playlist : Animals by Nickelback and Daybreak by Snow Patrol (songs are on my you tube Playlist, link is on my profile.) Jasper's POV I laid there, my beautiful boy in my arms, fast asleep… This was perfect. This was how I envisioned the rest of our lives. This was love. He came to Texas for me…he sang in a bar full of rednecks for me…he made love to me…real love, not fuckin…he cared when it hurt me…even if I was in a little pain, I had never felt so fuckin loved in my whole life. And yeah, it hurt like a son of a bitch at first…but all thoughts of pain quickly became lost at the sight of him…my beautiful bronze haired boy above me, eyes so full of love, slick, warm, hard body sliding along mine, velvet fingertips gripping onto me for dear life as the feelings of love, adoration, and devotion swirled around me and enveloped me like a protective bubble… I may have the wings…but I was certain he was my angel. And I know the Volvo wasn't the most romantic location for his first time…but sittin there with him, talkin and sharin everything I had been feelin the last few months…God, I just needed to feel loved…needed to feel the way only he can make me feel. He had wanted to make love for months but I always said no…I just wanted to give him what he wanted…I would never ever deny him anything he ever asked of me again…I would do anything he ever wanted without a moment's hesitation…I would never say no. And I thought for a brief moment bout waitin for the motel…but then I thought, fuck it…carpe diem and all that shit… Besides, I couldn't wait to see the breathtaking blush that would undoubtedly come to his perfect face every time he looked at that seat and remembered… He would have this car a long time…a constant reminder of what we had shared together as opposed to rememberin back to some dumpy road side motel…I thought havin our first time in his first car was kinda perfect… And fuck…it was fuckin perfect… Once the pain subsided…I had never felt so…connected with anyone my whole life. Physically, once he hit my magic spot…the pleasure was intense and different and fuckin wonderful…but this was so much more than physical for me.


I was givin him something that no one else could ever give him…his first time with a boy that loved him so much that sometimes it was hard to fuckin breathe… When I saw him watchin the way he slid in and out of me with that beautiful crooked grin on his face…I just thought my heart was gonna fuckin explode… I had to fight real fuckin hard to keep my eyes from gettin all teary and shit…I just couldn't understand how it was possible to love someone so much… He sighs in his sleep and throws his leg over my hip. His skin is hot and soft and…fuck…it feels so fuckin good against my body. His breath is warm against my chest and his silky hair tickles my neck. I turn my head slightly and breathe him in… Fuck…I missed this too… And right now, I'm scared to death to go to sleep…scared that I'm gonna wake up on that god damn futon, hung over and fuckin devastated cuz this is all a dream… I tighten my embrace and hold him as close to me as I can. My eyes are burnin as I fight my sleep cuz I don't wanna lose this…if I am dreamin…I don't ever wanna wake up… I feel my eyelids gettin heavier and heavier. And sleep finally takes me as I silently pray over and over again… Please let this be real…

Mmm… I groaned and ground my erection into the mattress below as I felt his warm, velvet tongue sliding feverishly along the ink on my back. My whole body broke out in goose bumps from his hot breath and short fingernails scratching at my sides. I shuddered as his firm, muscular body descended further down mine…his thick cock sliding along my ass that instinctively lifted off the mattress to just feel him a little better. He moaned my name softly against my shoulder blade and I just couldn't take anymore. I turned my head and caught his lips in a searing kiss as our tongues entwined and we swallowed each others moans and grunts.


He's really here…it wasn't a dream… That thought pushes me into a frenzied need to feel him again and I have no control of myself as I turn my body and wrap my arms around his waist, practically flingin him over so that his back is now on the bed and I'm on top. He gasps from the sudden turn of events as his hands now tangle in my curls and my mouth goes to his neck. He moans a long low, "Fuuuck," as I lick and bite the juncture of his neck and shoulder as I grind my hard cock into his. He untangles one hand that goes to my back and grips and scratches his short fingernails along my burnin skin. I groan and bite him again as he growls out, "Oh fuck, Jay…bite me harder…" So I continue diggin my teeth into the hot sweet flesh beneath me as he growls and his fingers dig into my skin. He's now raising his hips to meet mine as his hand trails further down and squeezes my ass brutally, only encouraging me to thrust into him again. I had one hand twisted through his wild hair and the other gripped his hip tightly, diggin into his taut heated flesh. I quickly lifted up to my knees, pullin his head up with me by my grip at the nape of his neck. Thank God he likes it a little rough… I moan through shallow breaths, "Suck my dick, baby…" He wastes no time in doin just that as his mouth plunges around my cock and moans around it. I groan my own long, low, "Fuuuck," as he takes me all the way down his throat until I feel his hot breath against my short curls, then he slowly drags his teeth very gently all the back up. His hooded green eyes never left mine as I watched. Then the little fucker winked at me and I nearly fuckin lost it. Fuck, I love it when he's kinky… I start rockin my hips as I grip his hair, fuckin his pretty red lips. His fingers are diggin into my ass, pushin me into his mouth all the more harder as his growls and grunts tease my throbbin cock that much more. I'm in fuckin Heaven as I fuck his luscious mouth but right now…I'm feelin way too naughty to be in Heaven.


I reach over to the nightstand with my free hand and grab the lube from the drawer. I toss it on the bed next to him and he groans around my cock as his hard cock twitches against my thigh from where he's sittin. He never loses a beat on the hellacious fuckin blow job he's givin me as he flips open the lube and squeezes some onto his fingers. I feel his slick finger rubbin around my hole and I grunt as I feel it slip in. He quickly adds another and takes a little time fuckin me with his fingers as I rock back, takin them in my ass…then forward so he can take my cock down his throat. I'm fuckin engulfed in pleasure right now as he's stroking my magic spot and suckin my dick like a god damn cockaholic. Then I feel a third finger slip in and a brief little shot of pain as he starts stretchin me out…but ain't nothin wrong with a little pain with your pleasure. While he's fingerin my ass and suckin my cock…I grab the lube and squeeze some in my hand. I reach down and grasp his throbbin dick in my hand and began coatin it with the lube in long firm strokes. He's thrusting his hips up into my hand and drags his teeth up my cock again as he fuckin growls… And I can't wait another god damn second… His fingers slip outta me and I grab both his hands and throw him back against the mattress, pinning them above his head. He bucks up against me as he groans and my breathin hitches when I see my black cowboy hat hangin there on the bedpost. I put his hands together and hold them at the wrists with one of my hands while my other reaches for the hat. I pull it down over my curls and his eyes roll back as he moans, "Oh fucking hell…ride me cowboy…" I lift up on my knees, stretchin my body out as I look down at his flushed face, red swollen lips slightly parted as he rakes in shallow breaths, his hands are diggin into my hips…and I flash him the dimpled grin that makes his cock twitch and I wink as I drawl out, "Yes, sir." I reach behind me and grab his slick cock and position it at my entrance. I slowly start to push down and as it slips in, my eyes close and my moans match his. Once the head's in, I use that hand to lean back on as I slowly start liftin myself up, then back down, takin a little more of his big dick in each time. I wrap my fingers around my hard cock now and start pumpin myself slowly to match my rhythm on his dick.


He's bitin his lip as he looks up at me through hooded emerald eyes and it's all I can do to keep from shootin my load right there at that look he's givin me. He's tremblin as he tries to keep his body still for me. Finally, I feel his short hairs ticklin my ass and I moan at the feelin of havin him in me to the hilt. I take a minute to get used to the feelin cuz God knows Edward really is one big dicked mother fucker. After a moment, I start slidin up and down over his throbbin cock and I'm reelin from how good he feels inside me. Who woulda ever thought I'd actually like takin it up the ass… Edward's grip on my hips hasn't lessened and his fingers are diggin into me as he starts slowly meetin my thrusts. His hard slick cock is throbbin inside of me and it only makes mine ache more. I continue pumpin my cock in my hand as he moans softly, "Oh fuck, Jasper…so fucking sexy…feels so damn good…ride that dick, baby…" It doesn't take long until I'm seein stars and needin even more of him. The ride starts gettin a little wild as he hits my magic spot with his powerful thrust and I'm suddenly ridin him like he's a god damn bull. He's moanin and fuckin growlin as his knees come up behind my back to give him more leverage to pound up into me. He's fuckin me hard and I'm incoherent from the pure raw pleasure he's givin me. I fall forward a little and grip his shoulders and just hang on as he fucks me into oblivion. I'm barely able to breathe, it feels so fuckin good for him to just fuckin own me like he is right now. His motions still and my eyes snap open to see him pourin a little more lube in his hand and pullin his cock almost all the way out to coat it again. He whispers, "I'm not hurting you, am I Jay?" I can't help the wide dimpled grin that comes to my face…but still unable to form a sentence or anythin beyond a grunt or moan…I give him a thumbs up. He laughs quietly, "Well, good…you think you can break this stallion, cowboy?" I take a deep breath and smirk before grabbing his sticky hands and pinnin them above his head again. I lean down into his neck and nibble on his earlobe as I whisper, "First rule of the rodeo…the cowboy's in charge, darlin." I bite his neck as he moans out and thrusts back up into me. I use my grip on his hands as leverage as I start movin up and down hard on his cock, slammin myself down into his hips over and over again while I keep him pinned beneath me.


He's moanin and gruntin and screamin out curse words every few seconds. My cock is now trapped between our hard, sweaty stomachs and the intense friction is only causin me to ride him harder to feel it more. His dick is throbbin and pulsin inside of me as he keeps hittin that sweet spot over and over until my abdomen is twistin and burnin for release. I watch his beautiful face in complete ecstasy as he growls out, "Fucking cumming…holy shit…fuck…fuck…oh fuck…" I can feel the warm wetness as he comes deep inside of me and that's all it takes as I moan, "Edward…god damn…oh fuck…" and I cum thick and heavy between our stomachs. I collapse on top of him and we're both suckin in sharp breaths as our sticky stomachs rise and fall together. He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes me tightly. My head is on his chest as I listen to the rapid heart beat slow little by little. He reaches up and pulls my cowboy hat off and hangs it back on the bed post. Then he starts runnin his soft fingers through my curls as I sigh and curl up into him. He whispers sleepily, "Love you, Jay…" I mumble back, "Love you, Eddie…" as my heavy eyelids close and sleep takes me again.

My eyes fluttered open only to wince back shut at the light pourin in from the window. The blinds were cracked open and the sunlight flooded into the room and lit up my beautiful boy's perfect sleepin face. I just laid there for awhile and watched him sleep with my head still restin on his chest. The soft beat of his heart and the warmth of his soft skin felt so good on mine. I was pulled from my Edward watchin when his phone rang on the night stand. I reached over and grabbed it, "Hello?" "Jasper? Son, is that you?" I smiled as I sat up in bed and lit a cigarette, "Yeah, Carlisle, it's me." He spoke quickly, "Are you okay, son? Did anything happen to you? No one hurt you, did they?" I laughed softly, "No, Daddy C…I'm alright." He let out a deep sigh, "Oh, thank God…"


And then he started yellin, "JESUS CHRIST JASPER! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, NOT CALLING ME? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED SICK YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN? I HIRED A DAMN PRIVATE EYE TO TRY AND FIND YOU…" I pulled the phone away and winced as he kept yellin. Edward must've heard the yellin cuz his eyes shot open and he looked over at me. Then he smiled and whispered, "Don't worry, he yelled at me like that too when he found out I left in the middle of the night to come get you." Once the yellin stopped, I put the phone back to my ear and took a deep breath. I felt really bad for makin them worry like that. I was such a dick sometimes. I sighed, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I wasn't thinkin real clear and I fucked up…I'm really sorry." He sighed now, "It's okay, son…I'm sorry for yelling…well, no I'm not, you deserved that. I think I just needed to get it out of my system. So, are you really okay? Is there anything you need?" I smiled as I looked down at Edward who was now curled into my chest, "No, I've got everythin I need. Thank you for lettin Edward come for me. I really am sorry for puttin you through so much." He chuckled a little into the phone, "Letting, my ass…I didn't let him do anything. I woke up to a phone call from him stating that he was in Oregon. I tried to get him to stop so we could go together but he was adamant that you needed him and nothing was going to stop him. I'm really glad he found you, son. We've missed you terribly." My eyes started tearin up a little, "I missed ya'll too. A whole lot. I did need him…I still do." He sighed, "I know you do, son. Well, the hospital is paging me so I have to go…but you boys will call me at least twice a day to check in…and Esme wants postcards. I'm trusting you both with a great deal and I expect that you won't let me down. I'm giving you this summer because I know you both need it and quite frankly…I don't think you'd give it up even if I asked. So, be careful, take care of each other, and be safe, son." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "We will, Daddy C. Thank you. Tell Esme I'm sorry for makin her worry and I love her." "I will, son. I love you." My voice cracked a little as I cleared my throat, "Love you too, Carlisle."


I hung up the phone and wiped the wetness from my eyes with the back of my hand. Edward looked up from where he was curled into my chest and smiled, "Good morning, Love." I smiled back through blurry eyes, "Mornin, darlin." He reached up and brushed his lips against mine as he whispered, "Don't worry, Jay, things are going to start getting a whole lot better for you. I promise." And I knew he was right. Despite all the fucked up shit that has happened the last few years, my life had been a hundred times better since I talked to the cute little green eyed boy that walked by with tears in his eyes. Thank fuckin God I talked to him that day… We kissed a soft sweet morning kiss before he pulled away with a content sigh. He raised his soft fingertips and brushed away the last of the wetness from the corners of my eye and smiled, "Love you, Jay." I took his hand gently in mine and kissed his palm, "Love you, Edward." He smiled for a moment before the corners of his mouth turned down and a look of sorrow came across his face. I furrowed my brows, "What's wrong, baby?" He sighed and sat up next to me. He pulled his knees to his chest as the blanket draped over them. Then he laid his head down on his knees and looked over at me, "Um…I didn't want to have to tell you this but I think I have too…" My heart dropped, "What is it, Edward?" He took a deep breath before whispering, "It's…um…Charlotte." Now my heart was racin, "Is she okay? What's wrong?" He just shook his head softly and whispered, "I'm afraid she's not doing well, Jay. The doctors are saying she will be gone in a matter of days. I'm so sorry." And the tears came back, "Fuck…I ain't gonna get to see her 'fore she passes. Peter ain't gonna have no one with him. Damn it, I fucked up so bad, Edward." He pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried softly, "Jasper, Peter's doing okay. I spent a lot of time with him this last month and he really is going to be okay. Mom and dad will be with him. Emmett, Brady, and Tommy have been helping him out some too…driving him to his doctor's appointments and doing some work around the house for him. Alice, Rose, and Jane have been cooking and helping out with the cleaning around his place. We all know how much he means to you, Jay…we're all taking care of him so please don't worry."


I didn't deserve to have such good people in my life…but I was really fuckin thankful for them. I sniffled as I held onto him, "Edward? I didn't see my granny 'fore she died either. I feel so fuckin bad. I don't wanna lose her too without sayin good bye." He wiped the tears from my eyes again and I felt bad for breakin down on him but again, I was really thankful that he was strong enough to be there for me when I fell apart. "Why don't you call her, Jay? You could say your good byes on the phone." I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah, that's a good idea." He handed me the phone and I hit the speed dial for Peter. I cleared my throat and sniffled one last time before I heard, "Hello?" "Hey Peter…it's Jasper." I heard him chuckle and it immediately brought a smile to my face, "Well hey there, stranger! How the hell ya doin, son?" I smiled, "I'm good, Peter…I mean, I was doin pretty bad but Edward came and got me last night so I'm a hell of a lot better today." He chuckled again, "He took my advice, huh? Smart feller ya got there, son…can't fish worth a damn but a damn smart boy." I laughed now, "You took Edward fishin?" He laughed, "Yup…he tried his best, son…he tried his best." I giggled as Edward rolled his eyes and whispered, "It was gross…I had to touch creepy crawly things…and fish. Ick!" I smiled as he shuddered. I sighed a little as I spoke quietly, "Hey Peter? You doin okay?" He took a sharp breath before speakin, "I reckon Edward told ya bout Charlotte?" "Yeah, he did." He sighed and I could hear the sadness as he spoke, even if he was puttin up a brave façade, "I'm alright, son. Your buddies been comin round here a bunch, helping me out. Good bunch of friends ya got there. I reckon I ain't got too


much longer fore I get to join her so that makes me feel a lil' better. I sure am gonna miss her, son." And my fuckin eyes started tearin up again… Fuck, how many fuckin times am I gonna cry today…this is bullshit… I took a sharp breath and tried to keep myself together, "Do ya think…is she able to talk at all, Peter? Could I talk to her for just a minute? I really wanna…um…tell her I love her and I'm sorry for not bein there." Edward's arms were back around me now as I snuggled into his chest again and he played with my curls. "She can talk, son…the thing is…she may not 'member who ya are. Hell, she don't know who I am half the time anymore. She gets confused a lot now and sometimes doesn't make a whole lotta sense. I'll let ya talk to her, son…I just wanted to give ya fair warnin." I took another breath, "Thanks, Peter. I understand and I'll keep it short." "Take as long as ya need, son." I heard some shuffling and then heard him in the background speakin to her, "Hey there, baby girl…got someone on the phone who's been wantin to talk to ya…ya feel up to it today, darlin?" I heard her weak voice and my heart fuckin ached, "Hello?" I cleared my throat and spoke quietly, "Charlotte…it's Ja…" "Oh my goodness, grace, and glory! Nathan! Is that you, baby boy?" She thought I was her son who died over twenty years ago in the war. I knew how badly she missed him and if I could give her just a little comfort by pretendin to be him…then that's what I was gonna do. My voice broke a little and Edward held onto me tighter, "Yeah, mama…it's me." She laughed a small weak laugh and I could hear the smile in her voice, "Well, I'll be…how come ya ain't been round much lately, son? Ya got a purdy lil' thang keeping ya all tied up?" I chuckled a little and started to speak when she interrupted, "Oh, hell, son…I forgot all about you bein out of the country! Ya keeping safe over there, baby?"


I sniffled, "Yeah, mama…I'm bein real safe so dont'cha worry bout me. And I do have a real purdy lil' thang that keeps me busy, mama. Matter fact…I plan on gettin married in a few years." She sounded so excited as she spoke and my heart was breakin, "Oh I'm so happy for ya, sugar! You've always been such a good boy…I hope ya know ya make yer mama so proud." I squeezed my eyes shut, "I know, mama…you and daddy make me real proud too. I miss ya, mama." She chuckles again as her strained voice speaks, "I miss you too, baby. Hey, you 'member that party ya threw for yer daddy and me a few years back? Ya played us some music and we danced. I ain't danced like that in a dog's age, son. Them was good times, baby…" She did remember me…maybe not me exactly cuz she thought I was Nathan but she remembered the party Edward and I threw for them…that has to mean something, right? I chuckled a little through quiet tears, "Yeah, that was a whole lotta fun, mama. Wish I could be there with ya…" She sighed, "Now don't ya go on worryin bout me, son. I ain't afraid, baby boy…I'm all decked out in my best dress…some lil' fairy lookin girl and a couple of purdy young blondes came over…did my hair and helped me with my make up…Yer mama's lookin good, baby. I'm all ready to go on up high now." I was cryin now but I did my best to maintain my voice, "That's real good, mama…you always were a beauty. I love you." She was smiling again, I could hear it, "I love you too, baby boy. Now, take care of yer daddy for me…I reckon he's gonna be a right mess without me keepin him in line. And one day, when ya get married and have me some granbabies…tell 'em bout me…tell 'em that I'll be watchin over them from up yonder. I love you so much, son. Bye bye, baby." I wiped my eyes that stung with tears, "I will, mama. I'll take care of everythin…I love you more than you'll ever know. Good bye, mama." I was cryin hard now into Edward's chest and he took the phone from me. My mind was goin a hundred miles a minute with thoughts bout how I should be there for them right now…how badly I fucked everythin up…bout my granny and how she died 'fore I could ever say good bye to her…bout how she probably worried herself sick over me until her last breath… I heard Edward speakin to Peter…telling him to call us at anytime if he ever needed to talk or anything at all. He was natured so much like Carlisle…he really was gonna be a wonderful husband someday…and maybe a daddy too…


He hung up the phone and held me until I could pull myself together again. Eventually, I pulled away and wiped the last of the tears away. I could feel my cheeks burnin now at the thought that I had just spent the first hour of our mornin cryin like a god damn baby in front of Edward. His silky fingertips ran across my jaw to my chin, liftin it gently to look at him. His pretty red lips turned up into a soft breath taking smile, "Hey…don't ever be embarrassed for crying in front of me, Jasper. I know that you're tough as nails…but I also know that every emotion you have…you feel with everything you have. When you love, you love deeply and when you hurt, it cuts like a knife. I've cried on you more times than I can even remember…you can cry on me anytime you need to, love." I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Thanks, Edward." He nodded, "Anytime, Jasper." As we finally crawled outta bed around noon, we were both crusty and sticky and had to get cleaned up from our night time activities…which were fuckin amazing, by the way. We fooled around a little more in the shower but were both starving and I knew Edward needed to eat before he could take his medicine. So, once we finished dressin and packin up our stuff, we loaded everythin into the car and took off for a diner we had passed last night for a late breakfast. I ordered biscuits and gravy, bacon and scrambled eggs, grits and pancakes along with a cup of coffee…black. Edward raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I'm a growin boy, Edward…besides, I'm sure you can help me think of a way to work it all off later." He smiled and that beautiful blush came to his cheeks. And then he surprised the hell outta me. He leaned over the table and right in front of the waitress and everyone in God's creation, his lips puckered and brushed across mine. I didn't even kiss him back, I was so shocked. He smirked and whispered, "Eat well, love…I plan on working you out thoroughly later tonight." My mouth hung open and so did the waitress'. Then he sat down casually, like nothing ever happened and smiled up at her, "Um…I'll have French toast and a glass of orange juice, please." She shook her head slightly to break out of her daze and mumbled, "Uh…okay, I'll be right back with your order."


She turned on her heels and left abruptly and Edward laughed, "She seemed a little weirded out by something." I was still in shock but managed to speak, "Edward? You just kissed me. In public. Without me coaxin you into it." His beautiful smile softened as he reached across the table and took my hand in his. He sighed as his velvet fingertips brushed across my knuckles, "Jay, I just spent the last four months wondering if I would ever have the chance to kiss you again…to hold you…to feel your body next to mine. I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore…I will never feel weird or strange for showing everyone just how much I love you because, for me, loving you is the most natural thing in the world. I've always felt like a freak, Jasper…but now, I don't. Yeah, I'm a little crazy sometimes but you once told me that everyone is fucked up, just some people hide it better. I don't want to hide anymore. I'm proud to be with you…proud that you love me. I'm proud to be me, crazy and all and that's because of you. I love you, Jay." Well, fuckin hell, am I gonna cry at every fuckin thing today? It's like I'm a god damn girl who just got her fuckin period. Jesus H. Christ, Jasper…get a fuckin grip… He handed me a napkin and I wiped my eyes quickly and fought back the fuckin emotional train wreck of emotions that had been crashin through me today. I sniffled once and smiled back at him, "I love you too, Eddie." Then I thought… Fuck it… I leaned across the table and wrapped my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, crashin his lips to mine. I brushed my tongue across his bottom lip and they easily parted for me. We both moaned softly into the kiss as I relished the taste of my beautiful boy. Then we heard someone clear their throat, so I pulled away to see the waitress standing there starin at us with two plates in her hands. She smiled as her whole face turned scarlet, "Uh…sorry, but…um…ready to eat?" We both chuckled as I pulled back away and sat down. We started eatin and I was fuckin starvin so it didn't take me long to finish off everythin. I sat there and drank my coffee as I watched Edward take his time with his meal. I smiled at him, "So, Eddie? This means I can kiss ya anytime I want now, right? Anywhere?" He laughed and nodded, "Yes, Jay…anytime, anywhere."


Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear as goose bumps broke across my body from his sexy voice, "You have no idea how hard it is for me to not bend you over this table and fuck you senseless…" Now I gasped a little and I could feel my cheeks turnin red. He pulled back with that fuckhot crooked grin, "You know, that blush on your cheeks is really quite breathtaking." I rolled my eyes and laughed as I took another sip of my coffee and muttered, "Cocky fucker…" When we were finished with breakfast, we headed back to the car. Edward tossed me the keys, "Want to drive, Jay?" I nodded, "Sure, darlin." We got in the car and I lit up a cigarette once we rolled down all the windows. I turned on the car and just sat there for a moment. Edward furrowed his brows, "What's wrong, love?" My mind was racin again from the conversation I had with Charlotte earlier. I turned in my seat and looked at me pretty green eyed boy. I chewed on my lip for a moment before talkin, "Hey Edward?" He looked concerned as he reached over and brushed the curls away that had fallen over my eyes, "What is it, angel?" I took a deep breath and whispered, "What if my mama was lyin bout my granny? I mean, it ain't like it's out of mama's character or anything. What if she's been alive all this time and worried sick about me?" I knew he understood just by the look in his eyes. He smiled softly, "Do you remember where she lives, Jasper? We can go there, if you want." I smiled, "Yeah, it's only a couple hours from here. Ya sure ya don't mind?" He shook his head, "Of course not, babe. We've got all the time in the world. Besides, I'd love to see where you lived as a child." I was nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. I really hoped that she was still alive and mama had just been lyin to me. We got in the car and started drivin. We chatted along the way about everything that had happened the last few months. I damn near swerved off the road when I found out he was put into the psych unit after an overdose. My heart felt like it was gonna break in two. My first thought was that he tried to…I can't even say what I thought. But then he told me it was an accident and he had just gotten confused. That scared me too but it made me feel better than the alternative.


I told him about Kaycee and he was a little upset but I told him that I never even kissed her. He got past it and was thankful that I stopped before things went too far. He sighed as he looked out the window, "Hey Jay? I noticed some new scars on your back…" I groaned internally, "Uh yeah…from one of me and my dad's fights…he…um…threw me down onto the coffee table and it broke. It's alright, though…I got him pretty good that night too. I finally learned to stick and move until he backed me into a corner I couldn't get out of." He took a sharp breath before muttering under his breath, "Fucking bastard…" I reached over and grabbed his hand, "Hey…I'm okay, Edward. He never went too far or anything…it was always just cuts and bruises…" His eyes flashed over to me and I actually shuddered from the look of anger in them, "Never went too far? Are you kidding me? He should have never put his hands on you! He has no fucking right to touch you!" I cringed a little and his eyes immediately softened, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't have yelled. I just…I can't bear the thought of anyone hurting you." I smiled softly at him, "I know ya can't, darlin. He ain't gonna hurt me no more. You saved me, remember?" He smiled, "We saved each other, Jay." The rest of the drive there was good cuz we just talked about random shit and sang along to the radio. Once I started pullin down that old dirt road, my heart started racin. He squeezed my hand a little tighter as the house came into sight. It was just like I remembered. The old white house was worn down some, just like always but the land was beautiful. The old stables in the back still stood but appeared to be empty. Flowers surrounded the front porch in bright, vivid colors. Even the old porch swing was there that granny and I used to rock on when it rained. We loved the sound of the rain fallin down and I'd usually fall asleep in her lap. I put the car in park and turned it off. I took a deep breath and tried to get my bearings before I could actually gain the nerve to get out of the car. Edward put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, "It's going to be okay, love. I'll be right by your side." I put my hand over top his and whispered, "I don't know if I can do this…"


His fingers held my chin and turned my face to his. His green eyes were soft and filled with love as he spoke, "You can do this, Jay. You can do anything. You're not alone, angel." I nodded and took another breath before smiling as best I could, "Thanks, Edward. I love you." "I love you too, Jasper." We got outta the car and walked up the drive. I had to take another deep breath before walkin up the old porch steps. Edward stayed beside me, brushing his arm against mine to remind me that he was there. I took one more deep breath before raising my hand and knockin on the door. I heard some rustlin and held my breath now as the door opened. My heart sank at the sight of the young woman who answered. "Can I help you, boys?" I nodded, "Yes, ma'am. Um…I'm lookin for a woman that used to live here a long time ago. Her name was Maggie Lou Thomas. Would you know where I could find her?" The woman's face fell and my heart hurt, "I'm sorry, son. Maggie Lou passed away bout 6 years ago." Edward's hand was on my shoulder, squeezing it softly. I sighed and started to turn away, "Sorry to waste your time, ma'am." She gave me kind of a strange look before callin out, "Wait! I turned back around as she walked up to me, starin at me all weird and shit. She finally smiled, "You're Linda's boy. I'd recognize those baby blues and that mop of blond curls anywhere." My breath caught in my throat a little as I was caught off guard, "Uh…yes, ma'am. You know my mama?" She sighed, "I do…well, did. We were best friends growin up…sang in the church choir together, girl scouts…I practically grew up in this house till I was 12 years old." I just shook my head and scoffed, "No offense, but that don't sound nothing like my mama…I think you're mistaken."


I started to turn away when she called out, "Your mama wasn't always bad, Jasper!" I took a breath and turned back around, "Yeah, well my mama's in prison at the moment but I'll be sure to tell her that she has at least one fan girl rootin for her." She sighed and Edward put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from turnin away again, "Jasper, maybe she can tell us where Maggie's grave is, so we can go show our proper respect?" I looked at the woman who stared at me. She was young, early thirties probably…my mama was only 31. She approached me cautiously this time and spoke softly, "Jasper? I know your mama has done some God awful things…but people aren't born with that kinda meanness in them, son. Haven't ya ever wondered why your mama is the way she is?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I shook my head and she spoke quietly again, "Well, I bought this house after your gran mama passed…she left some things for you…she was certain you'd come back lookin for her one day. I'd like to tell ya the whole story, if ya want? You're, what, about 16, now…you're old enough to hear the truth." Edward was standin by my side again and I felt his fingers ghost across mine, providing me as much comfort as he could. At this point, I didn't care what this woman thought about me so I grasped his hand in mine. His fingers clenched mine tightly and the woman had a surprised look on her face for just a moment before smiling again, "I haven't even introduced myself…my name's Bobbi Sue Haley." Edward spoke as he held out his hand, "Edward Cullen, ma'am. Nice to make your acquaintance." She took his hand and fuckin blushed, "Well aren't you the proper little thing? I take it…you're a…good friend of Jasper's?" He nodded with that crooked grin as his hand grabbed mine again, "Very good friend, ma'am." I laughed a little at the look on her face as she just fanned herself with her hand and blushed deeper, "Well, well, well…that's not something ya see everyday round these parts…mind you, I don't care bout that. I think what people do in their bedrooms is between them and God…I stay out of it…anyway, won't ya'll come in for a bit? I was just makin some sandwiches and lemonade


for my baby girls birthday party tonight, but I got a few hours till I gotta get it all done." I didn't say anything…I still wasn't sure if I trusted her…but I was curious to see what my granny had left for me. Edward looked at me, "It's your call, Jay. We can leave if you want to. If you want to stay, then I'll stay right by you. Whatever you want, love." My heart was racin again…I wasn't sure I wanted to know the whole story…I didn't know if it would change anything…I wanted to be mad at my mama…I didn't wanna think of her as an innocent kid…but I'm not one for runnin and hidin... I sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you, ma'am." Well, Edward started facin his demons…guess it's bout time I faced mine…


Chapter Twenty-Nine Edward's POV Jasper's hand squeezed mine tight as he sighed, "We'll come in. Thank you, ma'am." He was nervous, his grip was strong and his palm was sweaty. I wasn't sure what we were about to find out but I just wanted to make sure that whatever happened, Jasper knew he wasn't in this alone. Bobbi Sue smiled and stepped out of the doorway, "Well, ya'll come on in‌ya hungry? Like I said, I got sandwiches and lemonade." I figured that eating might help Jay calm down a little so I spoke up, "Yes, ma'am, that would be very nice. Thank you." She turned, "Come on in to the kitchen table, we can talk while ya eat." Jasper shot me a glance with a small nervous smile and I grinned back, hoping it might help ease him a little. I held his hand and ran my thumb over his knuckle as I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I love you, Jasper." He let out a breath he had been holding back and smiled back at me now with those dimples breaking through, "Love you, Edward." He visibly relaxed a little so I took a moment to look around at his childhood home. The house was small but very cozy. I wondered if it had changed much at all in the ten years since he had been here. We walked into the kitchen and he broke into a full out grin as his hands went to the kitchen table, "Hey, this is the same table granny had!" Bobbi Sue laughed as she pulled out some cups for the lemonade, "It sure is, sweetie. Matter of fact, a lot of your gran mama's things are still here. Some of yours too." He laughed and ducked his head under the table, "Look, Edward!" I couldn't help but laugh at his child like enthusiasm‌it was really wonderful to experience. I ducked my head down and he grabbed my hand, "Ya gotta lie on the floor to appreciate it properly, darlin."


His laugh was contagious as he pulled the chairs away and slid underneath the table, pulling me with him. I was still laughing when I looked up at the underside of the table. Then I gasped. It was covered in a drawing of angels…in markers and crayons. Very crude child like red angels, blue angels, green angels, a myriad of color…in the corner in blue marker was his scribble 'Jay Whitlock.' He reached his hand up to brush his fingertips across the picture and he sighed, "When I was five, I wanted to be an artist. I gotta library book bout Michelangelo. I tried to recreate the Sistine Chapel." So beautiful… Now I tentatively reached up and brushed my fingertips across the wings of an angel with blue eyes, blonde hair…and golden wings. He smiled and whispered, "Look at this one, Eddie…it's like fuckin fate." I looked to the one he was pointing too. The angel had dark reddish brown hair, big green eyes, and white wings. Granted, there were probably a hundred different angels on the bottom of this table but it was…pretty cool. He laughed, "Hey, Ms. Haley?" She was laughing too, "Call me, Bobbi, son." "Bobbi, would ya mind too much if me and Edward signed the bottom of this table?" She was still giggling as she leaned down and handed us a marker, "If ya want…I only really kept this table 'round cuz of you…when ya get a place for it, ya can have it." He smiled a beautiful dimpled smile, "Really? That's real nice of ya. Thanks." She nodded and went back to making us some sandwiches while Jasper signed his name under the angel I had pointed to and then he handed me the marker for me to sign under the angel he had pointed to. We were still giggling when we finally came up from under the table. Bobbi Sue had placed our sandwiches and lemonade at the table and smiled, "Ya'll go ahead and get started…I'm gonna go grab the stuff I wanna show ya." We nodded and said thanks as we started to dig into the club sandwiches she had made. A few minutes later she returned with a big cardboard box. She set it down at Jasper's feet and his eyes lit up as he spoke with a mouth full of food, "Bear bear!"


He reached down and pulled out an old teddy bear with a missing eye and you could tell where the arms and legs had been sewn back on. I giggled from his reaction as he hugged it to him and then he seemed to realize where he was as his face turned scarlet. Bobbi Sue giggled, "Yep, there's your bear bear. I bet ya was downright heartbroken when it got left behind. Ya carried that thing 'round with ya, everywhere ya went." Jasper's beautiful smile now faded into a deep frown as he studied the bear, "Yeah, I went to sleep with him that night…I woke up the next mornin in the back of some loser's car as him and mama were flyin down the highway. I cried all day and night cuz she left him." My heart was breaking for my angel as his fingers ran gently across the old bear's tummy. He sighed, "Granny got this for me the day I was born…" Bobbi Sue interrupted, "No, son…your daddy got that for you the day you was born." He shook his head, "No, granny told me she got it." She sighed, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I was there the day you were born and your daddy bought this in the hospital gift shop." He shook his head again, "Why would she lie? My granny wouldn't do that." Bobbi sighed again as she pulled out an old photo album, "Jasper, are you sure you want to know what really happened all them years ago? I ain't sure if it's gonna really help you any, son. It's just the truth, nothin more." He sat the bear back down and nodded, "Yeah, I wanna know." She nodded and opened the album. There were several pictures on the first page of what I assumed to be of her and Linda as toddlers. Linda's blue eyes sparkled and her golden hair was long and wavy. She was a beautiful little girl. She smiled, "Me and your mama grew up together, from the time we was babies. My mama and hers went to the same church and so they began makin play dates for us. We were best friends. I remember lookin up to your mama. She was always the pretty one, with her baby blues and golden waves. She was outgoin…a real tomboy. She taught me how to ride my bike, how to catch frogs down in the old creek, she taught me how to throw a mean left hook. She was a free spirit."


The pictures reflected all of this information as she turned the pages, revealing pictures of lanky young girls covered in mud and dressed in their Sunday best. Linda's eyes sparkled in every picture, you could see the happiness in them. She turned the page again and there was a picture of Linda with a baby boy in her lap. Bobbie continued, "When we were 7 years old, your mama's little brother was born. We loved playin with that boy. He was beautiful…always laughin and gigglin. He followed us everywhere we went. He was your granny's pride and joy." She kept turning the pages as we saw the progression in age. He really was beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyes, dimpled smile. The last picture on the page showed the three of them, Linda and Bobbi with their arms around each other, giving each other bunny ears, the boy was pushing his way in-between them laughing. I watched as her eyes became glossy, "This is the last picture we ever took of him…we were both twelve and we were walkin home from school down that old dirt road you drove up…" I watched as her fingers started trembling as she brushed them over his picture. Her voice was becoming strained as she tried to speak, "We was just gettin to that age where we was noticin boys…we were so excited cuz Jimmy and Henry were walkin us home. Anyway, here he come, barrelin down the road to meet us…maybe if we wasn't so distracted by those boys…maybe we would've got to him in time…" She was sobbing quietly now and I watched as Jasper's frown deepened. I reached for the Kleenex on the windowsill and handed it to her. She sobbed her thanks and took a deep breath before continuing, "The truck rounded the corner so fast that we barely even seen it…all I heard was a thud sound and Linda screamin. The truck never stopped…we were covered in blood…the boys ran off…Linda ran up to him…he was layin off at the edge of the road…he was still breathin but barely…we didn't know that we shouldn't move him. Linda grabbed him up and we ran all the way back here…he was gone by the time we made it." Jasper sighed and whispered as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, "That's messed up." She nodded as she whispered out, "You ain't heard nothin yet, son." She turned the next page and there was the program from the funeral. She pulled back the clear part and handed it to Jasper. I put my hand on his arm as he opened it up and whispered, "Jasper Alan Reed. That's my name…Jasper Alan…" Now Bobbi Sue furrowed her brows, "No, sweetie…you're Jasper Wayne…"


He shook his head, "No, I 'member every time granny was gettin on me for somethin, she'd yell 'Jasper Alan'…" She shook her head now as she rummaged through the box. She pulled out a manila envelope and handed it to him, "It's your birth certificate." He took a breath as he opened the envelope. There, as plain as day, read 'Jasper Wayne Whitlock.'" He muttered, "Fuck," under his breath. She cleared her throat and took a sip of her lemonade, "You were named Jasper after your uncle but Wayne after your daddy. Are you sure you want to hear the rest, darlin? It don't get no better after this…" He put his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands along his face. He blew out a deep breath and nodded. She grabbed another Kleenex and kept on, "After that day, your granny…she was so angry at your mama. She blamed her for her baby boy's death. She even started callin her all kinds of horrible names and sayin she was a harlot cuz she knew we had been talkin to those boys when the accident happened. Linda stopped comin 'round after that. I'd see her in school and that little sparkle in her eye…that free spirit…was slowly breakin." His face was still buried in his hands and I heard him sniffle. I continued just holding onto his arm to offer some kind of support. Tears kept falling from Bobbi Sue's eyes as she spoke in a strangled whisper, "She had bruises…all over and…the teachers never thought much of it cuz she was such a tomboy…she was always gettin into stuff…but I knew better. She stopped talkin to me after that. I was heart broken…she was my best friend…and then she was just…gone. When summer came a couple months later, I'd wait for her by the old pond where we'd go swimmin…prayin that she'd show up…she never did." She blew her nose and took another sip of her lemonade. Jasper's face was still buried in his hands. I put my arm around his shoulder and ran my fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck…it always seemed to calm him down. She cleared her throat before she started again, "I was so worried bout her…one day I finally decided to go to her house and ask her what I had done for her to just…forget me. I knocked on the door and her mama answered. She said Linda was busy but I seen her in the background…she was limpin really bad. So, I waited till later that night, after I figured her ma and pa would be sleepin…I snuck out and came here." I watched as her hands tightened into fists as she squeezed the tissue hard in her hands, "I came to…the window and…what I saw…"


She started sobbing now worse than before and my heart was racing at the next piece of information we were going to hear. I hated that Jasper was hearing this…I hated that he was hurting. She wiped at her eyes and breathed out, "Her daddy…he was…on top of her…she was screamin and fightin…" Jasper pulled his hands through his hair as he looked down at the table. I barely heard him whisper, "He raped her…" Bobbi Sue nodded, "I should've done somethin…I was just so scared…I couldn't believe what I was seein…" Jasper looked over at her through red rimmed eyes, "Why didn't she tell Granma?" Her head fell down in her hands as she whispered, "Oh God…Jasper, please don't hate me…I saw your granny through the window…she was standin in the doorway…she seen the whole thing…she just shook her head and walked away…" I heard the chair skid across the floor before I even saw him jump up. Tears were streaming down his beautiful face but he was scarlet as anger took him over, "What the fuck? Ain't no fuckin way! You're a god damn liar! Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!" He started for the front door and was half way down the steps before I caught up with him. I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. Instinctively, he turned and quickly shoved my hand off of him. I stumbled back a little, caught off guard, and his eyes went wide as he grabbed me suddenly around the waist to keep me from falling. His chest was heaving as he pulled me to him, burying his face in my neck and whispering, "I'm so sorry…I wasn't even thinkin…I'd never hurt you…are you okay?" I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and nuzzled my face into his neck, "I'm okay, Jay. It just caught me off guard…" He was crying quietly into the crook of my neck as he held onto me tighter than he ever had, "I'm so fucked up, Edward…my head is so fucked right now…I remember how my granny used to talk about my mama…I grew up hearin bout how she was a whore…she hated mama…she called me by her dead son's name…she didn't even really love me…I was a fuckin replacement…I don't even know who I fuckin am…" He was shaking in my arms as his fists balled up my t shirt in the back as his grip on me was unyielding.


I just held him with equal force and whispered, "This doesn't change anything, Jay…you know exactly who you are. You're my angel…you're Carlisle and Esme and Peter and Charlotte's son…you're Emmett and Brady's best friend…" I pulled away from his grip and cupped his wet, tear stained cheeks, "Listen to me…it doesn't change anything, Jasper. You can't change the past, baby…you can't let the past control your future…your future is with me…I love you…we'll get through this together…you and me against this whole fucking world, baby…you remember?" His breathing had started to calm down as he nodded his head and sniffled. I ran my thumbs across his closed eyelids, wiping away his tears. My heart was aching for him. Jasper had been through way too much today…and completely sober at that. I knew that he had spent the last four months of his life numbing himself to his feelings with drugs and alcohol. I knew my baby…his emotions were incredibly strong and now everything was just crashing upon him like a tidal wave. Once his eyes opened, his cheeks turned red again and he looked down at the ground and mumbled, "Shit…I'm sorry for breakin down…" I just raised an eyebrow and smiled at him because I couldn't begin to count all the times I had broken down on him. He smiled back and laughed softly as he pulled me into another hug. We held each for awhile and he whispered, "Thank you, Edward. I love you too. We're in this together…I won't forget." When we pulled away this time, Jasper looked over my shoulder to Bobbi Sue. She was sitting on the porch steps still crying. He sighed and walked over to her, "Bobbi Sue…I'm real sorry for the way I talked to you…I shouldn't have…" She shook her head as she wiped her eyes with a tissue, "No, baby…don't you apologize for that…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have ever said nothin…" He took a deep breath and sat down next to her as he pulled out his cigarettes, "Mind if I smoke?" She shook her head, "No…hell, I don't even smoke and I need a cigarette after that." He smiled a little as he lit it up. I watched him take a long drag and exhale slowly. He took another breath and looked over at her, "Don't be sorry for tellin me…things are startin to make a little more sense now…things mama's done and things I 'member bout granny…the pieces of the puzzle are startin to fit together now." He looked over at me and patted the spot next to him on the porch step. I smiled and walked up to the step above him. I sat down with my legs on either side of him so he could lay back against my chest. I ran my fingers through his


curls as he sighed contently. He took another drag and looked over at Bobbi Sue, "There's more, ain't there?" She nodded slowly and looked out over the field behind the house. He nodded too and sighed, "Go ahead…tell me the rest…otherwise I ain't ever gonna know the truth." She took a deep breath and began again, "After seein what I saw…I ran back home…scared half to death and not knowin what to do. Her daddy made that decision a little easier the next day. I was walkin home from the store for my mama when his old truck pulled up beside me. He opened the passenger door and told me to get in. I said no…and then I seen the shot gun layin in the seat. I was just a kid…I was scared to get in the truck but scared to run too…so I got in." She grabbed another tissue and sighed, "He never touched me…but he told me that he seen me in the window…he said if I ever told anybody what I seen…that he'd teach me a lesson just like he did Linda. He said that if little girls like us was gonna act like grown women…then he was gonna teach us what bein with a man was really about. He blamed us for the loss of his only son…blamed us for bein whores and talkin to boys when we shoulda been payin attention to other stuff…he let me go without hurtin me but told me that I was to never speak to Linda again or else we'd both pay." "So, for the next two years, I stayed away. I watched from a distance as the girl I once knew as my best friend in the whole world, just…slowly disappeared. When I was fourteen, I started datin this guy who was best friend's with your daddy. They was in school with us…a couple years older. Wayne started datin Linda when they met in their lunch period. They fell fast…those two were inseparable and completely in love. I started seein her a little now when my boyfriend and Wayne would hang out. We started talkin a little but never bout anythin from the past." "And then, she became pregnant. Her mama was furious but your daddy vowed that he was gonna stay by her side…marry her as soon as he could and take care of her and the baby. She was six months pregnant when Wayne caught her drinkin at a party one night…he was mad as hell, But she was drunk and we was all in the car as they was arguin…she let it slip that she was too scared to have the baby cuz she wasn't sure if it was Wayne's or her daddy's…" Jasper groaned as his head went to his hands again, "He never stopped rapin her…" Bobbi Sue shook her head, "No…he never did. When Wayne heard…the devil himself couldn't have stopped him from goin after her daddy. We all tried to stop him but he drove straight here…confronted her daddy…a fight broke out…Wayne beat him within an inch of his life. Later that night, your grandpa had a heart attack and ended up passin away a couple days later…the cops picked Wayne up, held him on involuntary manslaughter. But his daddy was


fishin buddies with the judge, and he got him a good lawyer…they ended up sayin that the fight was just a fight since Wayne was pretty fucked up too and the heart attack wasn't his fault…anyway, the judge gave him an option, since he was only seventeen…serve time in prison or join the military. So, your daddy joined up." Jasper just shook his head and mumbled, "Fuck my god damn life…" I squeezed his shoulders and he leaned back into me while I started rubbing them. Bobbi Sue continued, "Because of you, your granny allowed Linda to go ahead and marry your daddy 'fore he left. They got married two days 'fore you was born so you could have his last name…" Jasper's head shot up, "Wait a second…you're tellin me my daddy married my mama before he even knew I was his?" She nodded, "Yeah, son…he loved her and said that it didn't matter if you was his…he'd raise you as his own. But, you was born and Linda wanted the paternity test…she just had to know…thank the good Lord you did turn out to be Wayne's. So, he left for the Marines and your mama and you stayed with your granny…but your granny…well, she had lost a son and now her husband…she was angry, bitter…this is such a small town that somehow word got around that Linda had to have a paternity test done on you so now your granny was dealin with the small town gossip bout her 'whore of a daughter.' She wanted you to stay with her…raise as her own…but she kicked your mama out at 15 years old." Jasper muttered, "Fuckin bitch…" under his breath. Bobbi Sue sighed, "I snuck her into my house for a couple days but that didn't last long. She met some guy…he was a real badass…criminal, druggie, you name it…she ran off with him in the middle of the night. She stayed gone for three years. Wayne was heartbroken. She finally popped into town one night and begged your granny for help…sayin she was hooked on drugs real bad and needed to get clean 'fore Wayne got home. She wouldn't help her. So she left again. The next year, Wayne came back home and she showed up again. He said he was gonna help her get clean and get them a house so ya'll could be a family…he wanted her so much…but two weeks into the program, she relapsed and took off again. So, he re-enlisted and you still stayed with your granny. A couple years later, she came back and that's when she took you." Jasper just sighed and buried his face into my chest for a minute as I played with his curls. Eventually he pulled away and lit another cigarette, "So, mama never loved me, daddy couldn't love me without mama, and granny loved me cuz I reminded her of her son…"


Bobbi put her hand on his shoulder, "No, son…your mama loved you, I'm sure she still does. That night after her mama kicked her out and she stayed with me…she cried all night cuz she wanted you, her baby boy. But she knew she couldn't give you a decent life…she was only 15, no education and no way to take care of you. She thought the right thing to do was leave you there until she could take care of you. And your daddy…he was so in love with your mama that losin her…crushed him. He knew he couldn't take care of you by himself. You was four years old when he came back from the Marines…you had a home and a person who loved you…he knew he couldn't do no better than you had. And your granny…she may have been a little crazy but the woman loved you with everythin she had, Jasper. She spent the last few months of her life, makin sure that she could leave you everythin she could think of that would help you out in your life. Your family may be loonier than a toon, sweetie…but they all loved you fiercely." He sighed and just looked away as he took another drag from his cigarette. I knew his mind was going a hundred miles a minute right now…analyzing every word she had spoken and every memory he could drudge up. My heart ached for my blue eyed angel. The information she had given us was quite overwhelming, to say the least. She had meant what she said, it was the truth and nothing more. Nothing comforting or awe inspiring…simply the facts that led us here. Then I wondered aloud, "Bobbi Sue? How'd you get the house and all of Jasper's old belongings?" She smiled over at me, "I'm an RN, sweetie. Bout a year after Jasper and Linda left, Maggie had a stroke. I was her personal nurse…" Jasper snorted, "Bet that went over real good…" She laughed now, "Your granny was madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat! Anyway, I started spendin a lot of time with her…eventually…when she was gettin close to the end, she started talkin to me bout the past. People have a funny way of bein sorry for everythin they've done when they know they don't have much time left. So, she sold me the house and gave me some of your things to put up for you. I got something else that she wanted me to give you too but we need to go in the house for that." I followed Bobbi and Jasper back into the house, where Jasper and I settled on the couch while she left the room again. She came back out a minute later with a black duffle bag. She sighed, "Now, Jasper…'fore I give this to ya…ya gotta 'member that your granny wasn't in her right frame of mind and she figured when ya came back that you'd be on the run or somethin…so here ya go."


She dropped the bag at his feet and he furrowed his brows as he pulled back the zipper. Then he gasped, "Holy fuckin shit!" My curiosity was peaked as I leaned forward, "What is it, Jay?" He laughed as he pulled out a stack of money, "The whole thing's filled with cash!" Now I laughed, "Holy crap! How much is in there?" He shrugged, "I have no clue but there's a whole lot of it!" Bobbi Sue smiled, "I reckon there's probably 50 to 60 grand in there. Like I said, she thought you'd be on the run and need some cash. So, she sold the house to me for 30 grand in cash…I got it from a settlement from a car accident I was in as a teenager. Then I know she cashed out her life insurance, which wasn't a whole lot. Anyway, she made me promise I'd get it to ya when you was 18 if you didn't come here by then." I watched as Jasper's smile turned into a frown and he sighed, "I can't take this…you just keep it." Bobbi sat down next to him now, "Son, this is your money. I don't want or need it. She left it for you, so you'd have something…" He shook his head, "She left it cuz she figured I'd be some damn criminal on the run from the law or some shit…she didn't even really love me…" Bobbi sighed, "Jasper, your granny did love you, baby. She was all sorts of messed up but she loved you. She took care of you, didn't she?" He sighed and nodded, "Yeah…I guess that's why this is all fucked up. She was really…good to me. But she treated mama like shit…and I feel bad for mama but she treated me like shit…" Bobbi grabbed his hand and sighed, "Jasper, I didn't tell you those things to make an excuse for the way your mama treated you. I have no idea the kinda life you've had but I know it ain't been an easy one. Take this money, son…use it for college or to buy a house when ya graduate…" Jasper swallowed and sighed as he nodded, "Okay, I guess I will. It could help get me and Edward a place together after school…" I loved that he always included me in his future plans. He was in this for the long haul, just as much as I was. It made my heart flutter. I grabbed the box full of his belongings and he grabbed the duffle bag.


We thanked Bobbi Sue and took the things out to the car. We slid the duffle bag into the trunk and figured it'd be safe there, since we didn't plan on using any of it. I put the box in the backseat for safekeeping. Bobbi Sue walked us out to the car and smiled, "Here's my phone number. I'll hang on to the table for you as long as you need me to. If you ever need anything, Jasper…please don't hesitate to call me. Take care of yourself, son." She pulled him into a hug and held onto him for a minute. She whispered, "I know it don't make no difference what I think, Jasper…but I'm real proud of you, son. You seem like a real good boy." He sighed, "I'm workin on it, Bobbi Sue. Take care of yourself. Thanks for everythin." She pulled away and smiled, "If ya wanna go see your granny's grave…just head back into town and you'll see the signs for Rosewood Cemetery. Ya'll be careful and have a safe trip…to wherever it is you're headin." I smiled back and held out my hand for her, "We will, ma'am. Thank you." She leaned into Jasper as she took my hand and whispered, "Ya better hang on this one, son…he seems like a keeper and cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon." He laughed and put his arm around my waist, "Yeah, he's a keeper alright." I smiled over at him, "You're not so bad yourself, cowboy." My heart fluttered again as the pink tinge came to his cheeks. We said our good byes and jumped in the car, headed back down the road. Jasper was driving and I noticed him heading back into town so I figured we were going to his grandmother's grave. He was unusually quiet and I knew everything was weighing heavy on his mind. He pulled off the side of the road in a wooded area and laid his head on the steering wheel. I reached over just as his shoulders started to shake. I ran my hand through his curls and whispered, "Come here, love." A moment later, his arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and he was sobbing onto my shoulder. I held him tight and whispered, "Let it all go, baby." He squeezed me tighter and whispered through broken sobs, "I'm sick of…fuckin cryin…all the…god damn time…what the…fuck is wrong…with me…you're the…only person…who's ever just…loved me for…no reason…at all…please don't…ever leave me…I need…you so…fuckin much…"


My eyes filled with tears as my angel cried on my shoulder. I whispered as I held him as close as two people could possibly get, "I'll never leave you, Jasper…never. I know this day has been overwhelming for you, baby…please don't feel weak…look at it for what it is. You've been hit with so much today and you're dealing with all of this completely sober, Jay…you've been numb, baby…and now everything is crashing down. But I promise you that when the lightening and thunder subside…I'll still be here, holding onto you for dear life, love." I held him for awhile until his sobs eventually did subside. He pulled away with a sniffle and a frown. His brow was furrowed and I could tell now that the sadness had dwindled but the anger was building up. He needed to vent his anger before it exploded so I quickly jumped out of the car and walked around to the drivers side. I opened his door and reached my hand out to him. He took it as he furrowed his brows and stepped out of the car, "What are you doin, Edward?" I held his hand and led him off into the woods just a bit before I let go and took a deep breath, "You're going to lose it, Jay. I can read you like a book so go ahead…scream, cuss, let loose and get it out of your system." I watch his fists clench and his face turning red before he just starts screaming, "What the fuck is wrong with my god damn family? My gran daddy's a god damn pedophile…my granny's fuckin crazier than a shithouse rat…and my mama was so fucked up by both of them that she's in a fuckin Indiana prison right now! Fuck! My head is so fucked up! Do I hate my granny for what she did to my mama or do I love her for takin care of me? Do I forgive my mama for fuckin me up cuz she was so fucked up to begin with? How the fuck am I supposed to feel?" He's pacing and screaming and pulling at his hair. I lean against a tree and listen to him go because I figure he'll run out of steam pretty soon and probably cry again. I hate that I can't take this pain away from him. I gladly would…I would do anything to keep him from suffering. But I know that he just has to get this shit out because if he keeps it bottled in, it will eat away at him. "And what the fuck? My daddy wanted me 'fore he even knew I was his…but every fuckin time I see him, he just wants to knock the shit outta me? It doesn't make no god damn sense! Why'd granny walk away when that bastard was rapin her? Twelve fuckin years old, god damn it! Was she that fuckin angry at her only god damn daughter for not bein able to save her son? Why the fuck wasn't she watchin him instead of lettin him run down the god damn road? Was she fuckin jealous cuz her sick ass husband wanted her daughter instead? Then she leaves me a bag full of money cuz she's certain I'm gonna be on the fuckin run like a god damn criminal? This is all so fuckin…" And then he's crying again as his hands hide his face and he sobs, "…I don't wanna feel this way no more, Edward. Help me…please darlin…"


I wrap my arms around him and hold him as close I can get. I run my fingers through his hair as I whisper, "Shh, baby…it's going to be okay. I know it's all too real and raw right now but I promise that you'll get through this, Jay." I walk him over to a big tree behind us and sit down, pulling him into my chest as he cries. I rock him back and forth and begin mindlessly humming…hoping that the sound will soothe and distract him. A short while later, I can feel his laughter against my chest. He looks up with bright blue puffy eyes and his gorgeous dimpled smile, "Edward? You're hummin 'Winnie the Pooh.'" I scoff, "I most certainly was not!" He laughs and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "You were! Listen…" Then he starts humming and I can feel my face begin to burn as crimson as the sun when I realize, I was, in fact, humming Winnie the Pooh. I shrug and look down at the ground, "I like Winnie the Pooh." He laughs and wipes his eyes off as he pulls my chin up to meet his dazzling baby blues, "I really needed that…thanks, Eddie." I smile back even if I am still a little embarrassed, "Anytime, Jay." He sighs and lays his head back on my shoulder and whispers, "Thanks for everythin today…I woulda never got through it without ya by my side. I'm sorry I'm such a basket case right now." I sighed as I brushed my fingertips down his strong bicep, "Jasper, I'll always be by your side because you've always been by mine. And as far as being a basket case…you most certainly aren't. You're the strongest man I've ever known, babe…but you're still human. I used to always think of you as Superman…but you're so much stronger than he could ever be. It's easy to be strong when you're indestructible, baby…but you can be hurt…it makes you all the more stronger and braver that you're able to fight through it, Jay because I know that you're hurting right now yet here you are, able to laugh when I absent mindedly hum Winnie the Pooh. You never cease to amaze me, love." He pulled away with a small smile as he whispered, "You're a keeper alright. I love you, Edward." He leaned forward and brushed his strong lips against mine. My lips parted as I brushed my tongue along his bottom lip. I felt his tongue drink me in and soon I became lost in the taste of honey and tears. I'm not sure how long we kissed, but by the time my eyes opened again, the sun was fading as the sky turned


into warm shades of orange and pink and purple against the emerald backdrop of the treetops. I looked into those deep pools of midnight blue surrounded by red rimmed edges… God, he's beautiful… He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "We should get goin 'fore it gets too late." I nodded and helped pull him up. We walked back to the car, the rough calluses of his fingers clenched in mine were soothing and calming. I decided to drive this time and he asked for me to take him to the cemetery. I saw the sign as we headed into town and it didn't take long until we were there. We had stopped briefly for me to run into a flower shop and buy some wildflowers…he said they were her favorite. We walked hand in hand to the gravesite and saw that hers was between her husband's and child's. Jasper sighed and pulled a daisy from the bouquet and placed it on Jasper Alan's grave. He bent down and laid the flowers on Maggie's grave as he sighed, "Granny…thanks for takin care of me. I still love you…even though it hurts me to my heart to do so. I guess I'll never understand the past…but I gotta let it go to move ahead to my future. So, I'm lettin go. Rest in peace, granny." He turned and smiled weakly at me as I opened my arms to him again. I pulled him into a soft hug and whispered my love for him. We made our way back to the car as the luminescent hues of soft colors faded into a crisp navy sky. We took off back down the highway and it wasn't long before Jasper was curled up fast asleep in the passengers seat… …the seat we made love in for the very first time… I felt my cheeks burning as I remembered the last time he laid in that seat. But he was sound asleep now, worn out from an exhausting day of truths and revelations that answered some questions…but created many more. It was interesting to me the things we remember as children, only to grow up and realize the half truths and twisted versions of reality we thought we knew. It made me wonder about my own childhood and scenarios of what could have happened to my parents began playing in my head. Eventually I gave up the attempts at deciphering my past and focused on what was truly important…the present. I thought about my mom and dad and all of the hell I had put them through. Feelings of guilt washed through me at the


memories of my mother's soft cries and the slivers of gray hair that now adorned my dad's ash blonde locks due to my inability to let my past go. I sighed and pulled out my phone, suddenly missing them both extraordinarily. I pulled over at a rest stop and dialed his number. "Son?" His voice brought a small smile to my face, "Yeah, dad, it's me. I figured I should call and check in." I could hear the smile on his face, "I'm glad you called, Edward. Are you boys doing okay?" "Yeah…well, it's been kind of a trying day for Jasper. He's asleep." "Oh? What's going on, son?" I sighed and told him a little about today, nothing in detail because I figured that was Jasper's story to tell but it felt good to get some of the burden off of my shoulders. He sighed, "Sounds like you've both had an exhausting day, son. Maybe you should call it a night soon and get a room." I looked over at Jay who's brow was wrinkled as he whimpered in his sleep, "Yeah, I think we will. Hey dad?" "Yeah, son?" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Um…I'm really sorry for making you worry so much about me. I know that things haven't been easy with me…but I'm really thankful that you and mom…wanted me when no one else did. I love you both more than you'll ever know." I heard him let out a breath then chuckle, "I'm a dad, Edward…worrying is part of the job. And…I'm really thankful that we found you, son. We love you too…and some day, if you have children of your own…you'll understand just how much." I smiled at the thought of maybe having a child one day. I know I had said that I didn't want any…biologically, that was correct…but maybe…well, Jasper said he never really wanted kids either so… I sighed, "Thanks dad."


He yawned as I heard the intercom in the background so I figured he must be working. "Son? Have you gotten the oil changed and all the fluids checked?" "Um…no. Am I supposed to?" He laughed, "Thank God you have Jasper with you…tomorrow, I want you boys to get the oil changed and make sure everything's in good working order before continuing further." I smiled, "Okay, we will, dad." "Alright, son. You boys have a good night. Be safe and get some rest." "Okay, dad. Love you. Good night." "I love you too, son. Good night." I pulled back onto the interstate as Jasper continued whimpering and mumbling in his sleep. The words, 'No', 'Stop', and 'Please', spilled into the nighttime air. I found the next motel quickly and pulled in to wake him from his apparent nightmare. I reached over and brushed my fingers through his sweat dampened curls, "Jay? Wake up, baby…" He whimpered again so I brushed the back of my hand along his cheek and tried again, "Wake up, love…" He shot forward and gasped. He looked around for a moment with wide eyes before looking over at me and letting out a breath. He reached over and pulled me into a hug, "Oh thank God…for a minute, I thought I was on the highway with mama again…" I wrapped my arms around him and whispered, "Are you okay, babe?" He pulled away and nodded as he pulled his hands through his sweaty hair before rubbing them on his jeans, "I'm okay, darlin…Jesus, I'm sweatin like a whore in church…" I nodded, "Yeah, it sounded like you were having a nightmare." He sighed and looked out the window, "Yeah…well, I'm gonna go get the room." He hopped out of the car and a few minutes later he was back with the room key. We drove down to the room and grabbed our bags from the car.


He was very quiet again and a little antsy as he went through his bag and pulled out a pair of boxers, "Hey Edward?" I grabbed some of my own as I looked up at him, "Yeah, babe?" "Um…would you mind runnin and gettin us somethin to eat? I'm starvin and I saw a couple fast food joints down the road." I nodded, "Sure, Jay. You want to come with me?" He shook his head, "No…um…I think I'm gonna take a quick shower…if you want me to, I will though…" Now I shook my head, "No, that's okay babe. Take a shower, I'll be back in a few minutes. Want anything in particular?" He shook his head again, "Whatever's fine. Ya know what I like. Thanks, man." I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, "Okay, Jay. Be back soon." As soon as I shut my car door, I let out a breath I had been holding. Damn it… Something was off with Jay. He was sending me out for a reason. I knew him too well. He brought something with him…for emergencies. I wasn't sure if it was alcohol or pills or what…but I was certain of it. I pulled off down the road to nearby burger joint and pulled in the parking lot. I sighed as I pulled out my phone. I hit speed dial number 6 and waited. "Hello?" "Dr. Greene?" "Edward? Are you okay?" I sighed, "Um…yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry to call so late…" "No, no…it's okay. Jonathan and I were just watching the news. What's up?" I took a deep breath, "It's Jasper. We went to see his grandmother today and although she passed away a few years ago, we ran into a friend of his mother's. She told us the truth about Jasper's grandparents and mother. It wasn't pretty, doc. In fact…it was fucking awful. He's been having meltdowns all day and now he just sent me out for fast food. I'm not stupid…I know he's doing something he shouldn't be…but I don't know what to do to help him…"


I was crying softly by the time I finished and he sighed, "Calm down, Edward. You know that he's safe with you and I'm glad you recognized what he's doing. You just need to go back and talk to him…talk, Edward…not yell…not accuse…don't make him feel any worse. Just be calm, be patient, and remember to assure him that you love him and aren't going anywhere. We both know he has abandonment issues…he needs constant reassurance that you're not mad at him or disappointed…he needs to know that you understand and you only want to make things better for him." I nodded as I wiped my eyes, "Okay…what if…what if he gets mad at me and doesn't want to talk to me?" He chuckled softly, "Edward? You are the only person who Jasper will always talk to, no matter what. He trusts you more than he trusts himself. He needs you to be strong for him, just as he was for you when you needed him. Just do the best you can, son. You love Jasper…you'll know what to do. If you need help, just call me back." I sniffled, "Okay…I'll do whatever it takes. Thanks, doc." "You're welcome, Edward. Have you been taking your medication?" I nodded again for some odd reason, "Um…yeah. I put an alarm on my phone to remind me." "Good, good…okay, then. Well, remember to make sure you call me every Tuesday and Friday for our session. Don't think that traveling half way across the country is going to get you out of your therapy." I laughed a little, "I know, doc…I believe your exact words were 'you can run, but you can't hide.' I'll make sure to call you." He laughed now too and then sighed, "Edward? In the morning, would you speak with Jasper about calling me? I'd really like to continue my sessions with him as well." "I will, doc. I better get back. Thanks." "You're welcome, son. Good night and call me if you need me." "Okay. Good night, doc." I hung up, feeling a little better and resolving my strength to help Jasper through this. I ran in and got us some burgers and fries before heading back to the room. When I walked in, I heard the shower going so I set the food down on the table and walked to the bathroom door. I turned the handle but it was locked.


Fuck… I knocked softly, "Hey Jay? Food's here, babe. Open up and I'll join you." His voice was off again as he spoke, "Um…I'll be out in a minute, Edward…I'm almost done, baby…" I sighed and turned with my back against the door, "Hey Jasper?" "Yeah?" "I love you." The shower went off and I heard him sniffle as his voice croaked, "I love you too." I ran my fingertips down the door as I spoke softly, "Please let me in, Jay. I won't be upset, angel." He sobbed again and my heart was aching, "Ya promise?" I held back my tears as I whispered, "I swear it, love. Please let me in." A moment later, I heard some shuffling and the door unlock. I pushed it open and wanted to cry…but I didn't. He was sitting on the floor with a blanket wrapped around him. He had a bottle of vodka in his hands and he wouldn't look up at me. I whispered, "Thank you for opening the door. May I sit with you?" He chuckled softly through his sobs, "Of course you can sit with me, Eddie." I pulled back the blanket and crawled underneath with him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as he leaned into me. He started sobbing harder again as he grabbed onto me, "Please don't be mad at me…I'm sorry…" I ran my fingers through his curls and whispered, "Shh, love…I could never be mad at you for making a mistake. Do you remember that Christmas I snuck over to your house?" He nodded and whispered, "Right before our second kiss…" I smiled against his honey curls as I held him closer, "Yeah…I was having a difficult time dealing with my family over the holidays and I started cutting again. I was terrified to show you…scared that you were going to be disappointed or angry with me. But you weren't. You understood and told me


that everybody messes up once in awhile. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It made me feel…normal. Everything that you're feeling and the way you're reacting are completely normal, Jay. Please don't ever think that I'm going to be angry or disappointed in you, love." He sniffled again and looked up at me through puffy red eyes but his baby blues were bright and electric and his dimpled grin made my heart flutter, "Thank you, Edward. You always know just what to say to make me feel better. I don't know how you ended up in my arms that night…but I'm so fuckin thankful you did." I smiled and felt my cheeks begin to burn as I remember scooting closer and closer to him that night after his hand landed on my hip as he slept…fully intent on kissing him again. However, he sees it as one of life's little mysteries…fate at it's absolute best…so I just keep my mouth shut and let him have that. "I am too, Jay. I'm glad you didn't freak out when I brushed my lips against yours." He laughed, "Fuck, Edward…I had been wantin to kiss ya so damn bad I could hardly stand it. That first kiss…fuck…that first had me hooked, Edward. I would spend hours tryin to just think of an excuse to kiss ya again…but I was too scared and I knew you'd probably do whatever I asked…so I didn't wanna ask…I wanted you to want it as bad as I did…" I brushed my fingertips across his cheek and into the curls at the nape of his neck, bringing him closer to me so that his honey breath fanned out across my needy lips, "I did want it as bad as you did, love…I still do." Our lips came together, a familiar spark of electricity crackling around us as the air became thick and heavy with wanton desire. We breathed through one another as the kiss lingered on for days…or hours…or maybe even minutes…nothing else mattered when his lips were against mine. Eventually he pulled away and smiled, "Let's go eat, baby. Thanks for goin out." I smiled back, "No problem, babe." We stood and he sighed as he unscrewed the cap to the vodka and began pouring it down the sink. I smiled at him through his reflection in the mirror, I was really proud of him but I knew that he could see it in my eyes so no words needed to spoken. Then, he pulled out a small baggie of pills and just shrugged as he dumped them in the toilet, "Sorry, Eddie…I didn't take any though." I smile, "That's really good, babe."


Once he's done, we go out and eat our cold fast food and still, it's pretty good. Then we take a quick shower and I know Jay is exhausted when he's not all that interested in fooling around. We finally crawl into bed, clad in boxers this time as we wrap our long bodies around one another. For once, he's out before I am, but eventually the rhythmic beat of his heart lulls me into a blissful slumber once again. Chicago is on the way to Michigan‌I wonder if my house is still standing‌


Chapter Thirty Playlist : Calling Dr. Love by KISS (hee hee)…Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Lady Antebellum Jasper's POV I woke up with a gasp as my nightmares…no, memories, haunted me even while I slept. My beautiful boy shifted in my arms with a soft sigh against my chest and that's all I needed to remember that I was still okay. As long as he was in my arms…I was good. I tightened my grip on him and started runnin my fingers through his soft bronze hair as it helped slow down my racin heart and mind. He always had a way of helpin me stay calm. Even when we first met, I loved touchin him…just a simple squeeze of his shoulder or throwin my arm across it helped…those touches were meant to keep him calm but they worked just as much for me. It's funny when you look back on your life and notice things that you never did before. Lookin back on my time with my granny…things I never really questioned were suddenly becomin clearer and makin more sense. She was fiercely protective of me. I remember when I was five and I saw a rabbit hoppin down that dirt road…I took off after it and granny came runnin after me…yellin "Jasper Alan! I told ya to never go near that road! You swore you'd never take off again!" She swooped me up in her arms and damn near squeezed the life outta me in a hug. I was a little confused cuz she had never said nothin to me bout that road before and I never swore anythin like that. But she was huggin me so good…that I didn't care. I remember mama comin home once and granny screamin at her on the front porch…callin her a no good whore and that she wasn't takin me anywhere…that mama owed her. I was mad at mama for makin my granny cry so I ran out on that porch and told her I didn't wanna go with her…she wasn't a good mama…she was bad…I knew cuz granny told me and I believed everythin she told me. I felt the familiar sting of tears in my eyes again. I remember after Edward told me the real story of what happened to him…I was so angry. I remember ranting bout how when fucked up kids grow up…no one cares and is so quick to just toss them aside. I tossed mama aside. I never once said anythin nice to her…I called her every name that her mama had called her. No wonder she hated me so much. Maybe if I woulda just once talked to her with a little respect…but daddy taught me that respect is earned, not given…and in my eyes, mama had never earned any of my respect.


My head really was all fucked up. If it wasn't for Edward…I don't even wanna think where I would be without him. I looked down at him and noticed how much my beautiful boy…was becomin a beautiful man. I remember him at 13. He was scrawny and short but he had the coolest hair I had ever seen. The color reminded me of autumn…my favorite time of year. And it was wild, stickin up all over the place in different directions…but kinda like that's how it was s'posed to be. He was unbelievably shy and awkward…soft spoken and sweet. Now, Edward was only shorter than me by an inch or two. His body was still lean but stronger now with well defined muscles in his abdomen and arms. His hair…well that hadn't changed…and I still thought he had the coolest hair I ever seen. But even more amazing than the incredibly sexy man that's he's growin into…is the incredibly strong man he's becoming. He was still shy and awkward at times, soft spoken and sweet…but he was also, passionate and brave and cool and strong. He didn't need my protection anymore, though I would still protect him from anything I could. He was the one tryin to protect me now. It's funny sometimes how the tables can turn…but I guess that's what love is really about…bein what the other one needs you to be from time to time. I had to get my head back on straight cuz I didn't want Edward to have to rescue me all the damn time…hell, he already drove all the way from Washington to Texas in a shiny silver Volvo for me…kinda like a prince on his valiant steed… Fuck…I'm really startin to go soft…I am not gonna break out into "Someday my prince will come!" His whimpers pull me from thoughts and I feel him trembling against me. I run my fingers through his soft hair and whisper, "Wake up, darlin." He groans and I can see the wetness culminating in his closed eyes. He's having a pretty bad nightmare if he's cryin in his sleep. So I try again, a little louder this time, "Darlin, wake up…" He gasps awake with wide eyes as he looks around a moment to get his bearings. When his eyes lock on mine, they stay there, starin at me with such intensity that my dick actually twitches. His soft thumb comes up and slides along my cheek until it brushes underneath my eye and wipes the wetness away. My hand reaches out to him as I mimic his action and wipe away his tears. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes as he whispers, "You had a nightmare too?"


I whisper back, "Yeah…you okay, baby?" He smiles as he nods, "I am now…are you okay?" I smile as his pretty green eyes open and look at me, "I am now." He sighs as he lays his head back down on my chest and whispers, "You've had a pretty rough day, baby. Do you want to talk about it?" I wrap my arms back around him and snuggle into his warm strong body, "I don't know, Edward. Everythin I ever thought was all a fuckin lie…I don't know how to feel. It hurts. I just feel…" and I let out a defeated sigh as I whisper, "heartbroken." He rests his chin on my chest as he gazes up at me, "Do you trust me?" I'm taken aback a little by his odd question as I furrow my brow and nod, "You know I trust you more than anythin, Edward." He smiles that crooked grin that makes my heart race as he leans up and kisses me softly before pulling away and hopping out of bed, "Good. Sit up and smoke a cigarette or something…I'll be right back." I laugh softly as he grabs his bag and runs into the bathroom, shutting and locking it behind him. I pull myself up to a sitting position and light up a square, tryin to figure out exactly what he's up to. My questions are answered a few minutes later when the door opens. I stub my cigarette out in the ash tray as my mouth hangs open. He's grinnin as he leans against the door frame in a pair of blue scrubs, barefoot, and twirling that stethoscope in his fingers. I'm unable to speak at the moment but my dick acknowledges his presence as it hardens immediately and tents the thin blanket over my lap. He smirks and all I can do is lick the drool from my bottom lip as he says, "Well, it looks like I managed to fix your broken cock last time so let's see what I can do about your broken heart…" He saunters over to me and I definitely notice the little swagger in his step. He places the stethoscope around his neck as he leans over top of me and straddles my lap. His hardening dick slides against my rigid one and I bite my lip to stifle the moan.


He smiles as he leans over to my ear and whispers, "Don't worry, young man…Doctor Love has the cure for what ails you." I don't even try to stifle the moan this time as my hands grip his hips and he bites my earlobe softly before trailing his tongue along the shell of my ear, causing little goose bumps to rise all over my body. He lifts up to his knees and puts the ends of the stethoscope in his ears. He smiles and whispers, "Let's check out this broken heart of yours and see what I can do." He breaths gently on the end to warm it up before placing it over my heart. Then he sighs, "Hmm…the beat of your heart seems awfully strong to me…but I wonder if I can make it stronger…" My fingers are diggin into his hips as I look up into his bright green eyes through my hooded ones. He begins rockin his hips against mine as my head falls back against the headboard and I moan out a breathless, "Oh fuck, Edward…" He smirks again and whispers, "I give the orders here, love." I bite my lip again and he smiles as he keeps rockin back and forth against me, my fingers diggin into his scrubs as I clench his nice squishy ass. "Well, it seems as though that action certainly makes your heart beat a little stronger…a little faster…see, listen…" He takes the ends from his ears and place them in mine as the rapid beat of my heart rushes through me like a runaway freight train. I swallow hard as I look up at him again and his crooked grin flashes before he slowly starts peelin off his shirt. I can hear my heart racin even harder and faster at the sight of his beautiful body as it's slowly revealed to me. I see those sexy little V muscles and the hint of bronze curls as his scrubs lay loose on his hips and he has taken off the boxers he had on before. My eyes travel slowly upward following the hem of his shirt to see his tight stomach and the beginning of his six pack that's starting to develop. I lick my lips as the sight of his little hard nipples that I just want to bite and suck on as my eyes lift up to his broad shoulders with the few little freckles splayed across them. Finally, my eyes are on his again as the shirt comes over his head, fuckin up his hair even more and makin it all the more sexy as hell. My own heart beat is poundin in my ears and my dick is straining against my boxer briefs, the head already wet with pre cum.


He licks his lip and the vision of his silky pink tongue sliding across his cherry bottom lip, nearly causes me to lose it. His hands brush along my jaw and over my cheeks until he pulls the stethoscope away and tosses it aside. "I think your heart is okay, Jasper…so let's check your temperature. I seemed to have forgotten my thermometer but…" His fingers hooked into the waist of his scrubs as he began slowly pulling them down. I groan at the sight of his rock hard cock springing forth…all big and hard and tempting and shit. He smirked as he twisted his fingers in the curls at the back of my neck and pulled my face forward as he whispered, "…just put this in your mouth and let me see how hot you are." I moan around his cock as I take it in my mouth. My lips suck gently on the head as my tongue swirls around and dips through the slit…the steel stud causing his head to fall back and his eyes close as he moans long and deep. My eyes close as my fingers grip his thighs and I work my way down around his hard shaft…suckin and lickin and runnin that stud along the bottom. His hips start rockin and pushin him deeper down my throat as I hum deeply around him. He tastes and feels so fuckin good in my mouth that all my troubles are soon forgotten. Dr. Love is the best medicine a man could have… I can feel him pulsin and tremblin as he moans softly and his fingers brush through my curls. But then he pulls away and my hooded eyes open and look up into his. They are deep forest green and half lidded as he stares down at me. The smile from his face is gone, replaced by a look of wanton desperation. He whispers as he runs his fingers down my neck, "I don't want to cum in your mouth…I want to cum inside you. Can I make love to you?" My words are caught in my throat so I nod softly and lay back against the pillow. His eyes never leaves mine as he reaches for the lube on the nightstand. He lays it down next to us as he reaches for his pants and begins tugging them all the way off. I reach down to help as we guide them over his strong legs and toss them to the floor. He pulls the blanket back and nudges my knees apart gently with his as he settles between my legs. His fingers run lovingly up my thighs as he hooks them into my boxer briefs and slowly begins pulling them down. I lift my hips to help as he slides them over my hips and down my thighs. His eyes are still on mine


and once again, the intensity of his emotions shines through them. They are soft and brilliant with love and devotion. His fingers caress my skin as he raises my legs and slides the boxers off as they join his pants on the floor. His soft hands are drivin me crazy…never leavin my skin as they glide up and down my legs, massaging and kneading all the stress away. Once my feet find the mattress again, he settles himself between my legs and leans down over me, rubbing our rigid cocks together as they're trapped between our hard stomachs. His elbows come to rest on either side of my head on the pillow as he stares down at me. I wrap my arms around his waist and moan softly at the feel of his skin against mine…so soft and so warm. I can't wait anymore to feel his lips so I reach up and pucker mine against his. He returns the kiss tenderly and slow. I shudder from having him so close to me, his body pressed against mine, his lips and tongue tasting me. Eventually, he pulls away from the kiss and begins trailing his lips and tongue down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking. He ventures further down to my neck and continues his wonderful slow torture with his lips and tongue and teeth. He doesn't leave one inch of skin unloved as he showers my body with attention. I'm writhing underneath him by the time he's down to my stomach. His tongue slides over the creases of my muscles and swirls around my belly button. I'm clenching onto the sheets beneath me as he nips and licks my hip bones, going further down still. He teases me as he trails kisses between my legs and gently sucks my balls but still hasn't touched my aching, weeping cock. A long drawn out moan escapes my lips as his satin tongue swirls around my puckered hole. His tongue tastes every part of my body before finally beginning it's ascent up my shaft. He takes me into his warm wet mouth and one of my hands tangle in his now slightly sweaty hair as I begin slowly pumping upwards to fuck his pretty mouth. I hear the lid to the lube flip open and a minute later, I can feel his long slender finger circling my hole. Very gently he presses it in as he increases the suction around my cock and I cry out his name, desperate for release but praying for this to never end.


My eyes roll back as he slips another finger in and begins stretching me while rubbin up against my magic spot over and over again. Soon a third finger joins and the sharp shot of pain makes my dick even harder as he takes me all the way down his throat. Sometimes a little pain…feels so fuckin good. I love the way his fingers feel inside me and how his warm mouth loves on me. I can feel my stomach beginning to burn and I know my release is close. Just as my mouth opens for me to moan out 'Don't stop…' the little fucker pulls away with a breathless whisper, "I want you to cum from me making love to you." I groan and know that when he pushes me over the edge this time…it's gonna be earth shattering. He reaches over and trails a little lube down his long hard cock and I'm just watchin…and squirmin cuz I want him so fuckin bad right now. His hand begins slowly pumpin his cock to spread the lube around and then he wipes his hand on the sheet to get it clean and we both chuckle a little. Then he leans back over me with one hand pressing into the bed by my head and the other positioning himself at my entrance. I wrap my arms around his back as he slowly starts to push himself in. The little shots of pain reverberate through me, only makin the bliss more intense. My feet are diggin into the mattress as I lift my hips slightly to take in more of him. He rocks his hips slowly as he pushes his cock all the way inside. Once he's all the way in, his other hand rests next to my head and he slides down to his elbows. His hooded green eyes are locked on mine as his crimson lips slight partly and he releases a breathless whimper as he holds himself still. He waits for a moment for me to adjust to his size…and yeah, I need a fuckin minute. Finally, I softly moan, "I'm ready, baby." His lips capture mine in a searing kiss as he starts pullin out slightly and pushin back in hard. I moan into his mouth and my heels dig into the bed. There's not an inch of air between our bodies as his strong stomach captures my achin dick against mine and the friction of our bodies rubbin together is drivin me wild. His hands have tangled in my hair as his mouth just fuckin devours mine. My hands run up to his broad shoulders and I'm in fuckin heaven at the feel of him. His muscles clenching…the light sheen of sweat between our bodies…his


firm, chiseled chest slidin against mine and his strong muscular arms…my little Edward is all fuckin man. My cock is pulsing and I know I ain't gonna last much longer. I throw my head back into the pillow as I break away from the kiss with a long loud moan. This fuels him even more as he begins bitin and suckin my neck and throat and shoulders. Then he pulls away and reaches down to grab my leg underneath the knee and shifts it up over his shoulder while my other foot is still diggin into the bed. This little shift in position has me seein stars as but his stomach is no longer against mine, rubbin my dick the way I need it. So, I reach down to start pumpin myself as he grabs my hands and holds them firmly on either side of my head. He moans out in sharp breaths, "I said…you're going to cum…from me…being inside you…" And there's no doubt in my mind that I will. Now my hard cock is bouncing against my stomach as he holds my hands down and continues rockin his hips faster and harder against me. I don't even try to fight it cuz dominate Eddie rocks my fuckin world, so I let him hold me down and fuck me senseless. Everythin starts swirlin together in a hazy cloud of pleasure and pain and love and lust…it don't take long before my back arches and I scream out his name as I start cumming hard as hell all over the fuckin place while my cock continues bouncin around. He falls against me and hangs onto my neck tight as he whimpers out a strangled, "Jay," in my ear and I feel his warm wet release inside of me. We hold onto each other, tremblin and shakin from the magnitude of the moment we just shared. Our shortened breaths begin to even out and I smile when I see the stethoscope lyin on the side of the bed. I laugh softly, feelin better than I had all fuckin day, "You're right, doc…ya do got the cure for what ails me." He chuckles softly against my neck and sleepily whispers, "No charge, babe. Love you, Jay." I whisper as I kiss his hair, "Love you, Eddie."


And I wait for it cuz I know it's comin…soft snores. He's fast asleep and I chuckle again at the soft snores against my shoulder. I reach over and grab my boxers on the floor and wipe us both as clean as I can with him wrapped around me. And before I know it, I'm sleepin like a baby…

What the hell is that gigglin? Before I even open my eyes, I lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his lips…no, what the hell am I kissin? One eye opens and I hear the gigglin again as I look at Edward's big toe, that I just kissed. I lift my head to look down and see Edward lyin at the opposite end of the bed eatin a box of donut holes and watchin Spongebob. He's laughin again as he turns to his side and smiles at me, "Good morning, love." I smile back and in my lazy southern drawl, I croak out a sleepy, "Mornin, darlin." I start to sit up and decide that it's just too damn temptin to pass up…so, I grab his legs and hold them as I start ticklin the shit outta his feet. He starts laughin hysterically and tryin to kick his way free but he ain't no match for me cuz Edward's more ticklish than Elmo. I laugh along with him as I taunt my beautiful boy, "Who's yer daddy?" He kicks and laughs, "Carlisle Cullen!" He's a defiant little fucker so I wrap my legs around his and hold his feet with one arm as I reach down and start ticklin his inner thighs. This little spot…really drives him fuckin crazy. "Wrong answer, Eddie! Who's yer daddy?" He's buckin and tryin to pry my fingers from him as he laughs hysterically, "You're my daddy! Now let me go! Please!"


I smile as I let him go and pounce on top of him, holdin his hands down as I notice now that he's fully dressed and I'm still butt ass naked, "Why the hell are you dressed? Did I give you permission to put clothes on, little boy?" He smirks as his flushed cheeks are as cherry as his lips, "You weren't calling me little last night…and I'm dressed because I woke up early and wanted donuts. I bought you a coffee. I just got back a few minutes ago so it should still be hot." I look to the nightstand and see a cup of coffee sittin there. I smile and lean down to his neck, kissin it softly as I whisper, "Well, I guess I'll let it slide then…but next time…I expect to wake up and find you naked in my bed." He laughs softly again as I pull away and jump up outta bed. I go and take a leak, then I brush my teeth. I head back to bed and crawl under the blanket as I sit against the headboard and light a square. My coffee is still hot so I begin drinkin it as I have my mornin smoke. Edward's still watchin Spongebob as he giggles his ass off and eats from his little box of donut holes. Then I see him reach down to the floor and grab a bottle of chocolate milk. He takes a big swig and I chuckle cuz he's just so fuckin cute sometimes. His head turns when he hears me and I full out laugh when he pulls the bottle away and he has a little chocolate milk mustache. He smirks as he wipes the milk off with the sheet, "Hey, even chocolate milk does a body good." I just shake my head as I chuckle, "It sure as hell did your body good, darlin." And then I'm thinkin that chocolate milk and donut holes sound pretty fuckin good. So, I stub out my cigarette and set the coffee to the side as I scoot down to the end of the bed with him, "Hey baby, wanna share?" He pretends to think and shakes his head, "I don't know, Jay, I don't play well with others…but for you I suppose I'll make an exception." He hands me his chocolate milk and scooches the box of donut holes over. I smile as I take the bottle, "Thanks, sugar, that's real sweet." He keeps up his serious composure as he says, "A man doesn't just share his chocolate milk with anyone, ya know." I just laugh as I take a drink and he smiles and turns back to the TV. We lay there for about an hour, eatin and watchin Spongebob…and it's the most fun I've had in a long fuckin time.


We finally drag our sorry asses outta bed and go shower and get our stuff together. Before long, we're on the road again, flyin down the highway. And I'm havin the time of my life watchin Eddie drivin and singin to the radio…carefree and happier than I think I've ever seen him. As bad as our time apart was, I can't help but feel that maybe something good came from it cuz Edward seems a lot…freer. And it's really fuckin beautiful. His good mood rubs off on me and all thoughts of yesterday are pushed aside as we drive and talk and laugh…a lot. Soon, we're passin the "You're now leaving Texas" sign and we both hoot and holler as we pass through to Oklahoma. Who'da ever thunk that anyone could be so fuckin excited to be in Oklahoma? We stop a few times to pick up snacks at the gas station and hit a couple fast food joints, but mostly we stay on the road. We take turns drivin and when nightfall starts to come around, we pull over to a rest stop and make our second call to Carlisle for the evenin. Eddie starts this round of drivin and I'm layin back in my seat watchin the stars pass by through the moon hole and enjoyin the peacefulness of it all…when he shouts, "Look! A carnival! Let's stop!" I laugh as I look out the window and see the bright lights of a small town carnival off the highway. "Really, Eddie?" He nods his head vigorously, "Yeah…I've never been to one before…" I sit up and look over at his excited face, "Really?" His smile fades a little and he looks at me for a moment before turnin back to the road, "Jasper…before I met you…I would barely leave my room. Do you remember the first time we went to the movies together and saw Transformers?" I smile and nod, "Yeah…a couple weeks after we met." He sighs, "That was the first movie I had ever went to see. Or when you took me skating for the 4th of July that year…that was a first for me too. And when we went to play laser tag…also a first. Jesus, Jay…practically every first I've ever had is with you. You…made me not so afraid of the world that existed beyond those walls. I owe my whole life to you."


Fuck…I love this boy… I reach over and pop open the button on his jeans and he gasps, "What are you doing?" I smile as I lean over and unzip them before pullin out his awakenin cock, "Another first, darlin. Road head." He whispers, "Road head?" I smile and nod, "Yup, now keep your eyes on the road, Eddie." He grips the steerin wheel with both hands as I lean down over the console and take his cock down my throat, wastin no time as I start suckin it like the skin off a rattlesnake. He shakily moans, "Oh my God…" I use all my many talents as I suck on the head…hollow my cheeks…run that steel stud across the slit and along that throbbin vein…I hum and rotate between fast and hard…soft and slow…until his knuckles are turnin white as he grips onto that wheel. His hips buck as he moans, "Oh…oh…ohmyfuckingod…" He comes deep down my throat and suck it all down like the champ I am, then pull away and tuck his shit back in and button and zip his jeans again. He pulls into the open field that is the makeshift parkin lot for the carnival and just collapses against his seat the second he turns the car off. His breathin is still heavy as he lies there flushed and sweaty and all fuckin sexy and shit. He finally turns to me and smiles, "Road head…is fucking awesome." I laugh as he pulls me to him in a soft, sweet kiss and whispers his thanks. We hop outta the car and I'm still kinda surprised when he grabs my hand and pulls me along. People are starin at us and makin their snide remarks but we don't fuckin care. Edward's like a kid at a candy store and it's so much fun to watch him…it's kinda like my first time too when I see how excited he is. We play some games and I'm real fuckin good at that shootin game where ya gotta shoot the movin targets. So, I win him a little stuffed black bear with plastic honey all over it and a little plastic bee on it's pink nose.


I think he might be kinda embarrassed but instead he smiles and hugs it to him before reaching over and givin me a kiss in front of everyone. We walk around and I smile, "Have ya ever had an elephant ear?" He looks at me with a quirked eyebrow, "Is that like…a southern thing? Because after I saw the pig's feet at that restaurant back in Texas…no way, no how am I eating an elephant's ear." I start laughin my ass off and shake my head, "It ain't really an ear, Edward! It's like a dessert…" His cheeks turn crimson and he shrugs, "Well, how I was supposed to know? I mean, you guys do eat pig's feet and stuff." I wipe the tears from my eyes as I pull him close and wrap my arms around his waist, "Aww…baby, you're just too fuckin cute for words…ya know that?" He smiles and blushes again as I bring my lips to his and taste my beautiful boy. We find a food stand and get an elephant ear…which he fuckin loves. We also eat some barbecued ribs and corn on the cob and cotton candy. Then, we decide to ride rides. Edward jokes, "We ride till one or both of us puke." I just shake my head and follow him onto the Himalayan. It goes forwards and backwards and spins around as really loud music plays and lights flash. He has a fuckin blast and I'm just havin a fuckin blast watchin him. It turns out that we both must have stomachs of steel cuz neither one of us get sick as we ride every fuckin ride in the whole damn carnival. We then head over the Funhouse and I experiment with the mirrors that make me look short and fat. I laugh, "Hey Eddie, C'mere." He walks over and I smile, "So, this is how I'm probably gonna look when I'm old…ya still gonna love me?" He smirks, "You're seriously going to shrink like two feet?" I roll my eyes and laugh. He then comes up behind me wraps his arms around my waist. His hands push their way up underneath my shirt as he begins tracin my muscles with his soft touch. He's lookin over my shoulder in the mirror as he whispers, "Understand


this, Jasper…I will always want you more than anything. I will always need you more than air. I will always fucking love you." My breathin hitches as I feel his warm body against mine and the truth in his words wash through me. He knows this ain't ever gonna be over too… He kisses my neck softly and then smiles in the mirror, "Besides…this is how I'm going to look and you're stuck with me, Jay. Forever's a long time." I turn my head and take his soft lips to mine as I whisper, "Not long enough." We play around a little longer until we finally decide to call it a night cuz we still gotta drive to a motel somewhere and check in. As we're walkin away from the carnival and back to the car, I can hear the familiar taunts and snickers from some of the same guys we had been hearin all night. I immediately begin checkin out our surroundings cuz I have a real bad feelin about this. Edward notices too cuz he leans over and whispers, "There's four of them, Jay. They're following us." I give a small nod and whisper, "I know, Edward…I gotta think of something…we can't fight…we're minors and I'm kind of a runaway so if the cops get involved, I'm goin back to Texas. There's gotta be someway outta this…or else, we fight like hell then skirt the fuck outta here quicker than shit." We keep walkin as my mind races…tryin to think of the best course of action. Edward sighs when we're close to the car, "The baseball bat's still in the back seat. I've got an idea. Trust me?" I nod without a moment's hesitation cuz I do trust Edward with my whole fuckin life. He smiles before he turns to me and screams, "No Jay! He fucking told me to do it! I've got to do it! When a demon tells you to do something, you fuckin do it!" I caught on quickly and thought to myself what a brilliant mother fucker my boyfriend and future husband was. I yelled back as his head whipped around like he was following something, "Edward, look! You just got outta the fuckin psych ward for this shit! You can't


do what these fuckin demons tell you to do! It's bad, remember? You could kill somebody! You almost have!" He shakes his head and looks off into the night like he sees something there. And then he begins arguing with air, "I know you want me to do that but Jay's arguing with me! How the hell can I? But I don't want to go back to the fucking hospital! Why is it always your way? Fine! Fine! Just fuck it! I'll fucking do it! God damn it! Jay, hold my fuckin bear!" He hands me the stuffed bear as he yanks open the car door and pulls out the baseball bat. He takes a couple swings like he's practicing and I just sigh, "Fine, Eddie. We're in this shit together. If you're goin back to the psych ward…I'm goin back to jail." I hit the button to pop open the trunk and pull out a crow bar, leavin the stuffed bear safe inside. I shut the trunk and we both turn to see the fuckers standin there starin at us like they weren't quite sure if they should keep talkin shit or not. Edward's eyes are bright and wild as I step by his side. I smile at him, "Love you, darlin." He smiles back, "Love you too, Jay. I'll take the two on the left…you've got the right…" Then he points the bat to the non existent demon and shouts, "You shut the fuck up! I'm fucking doing it! I'll pick which ones I want!" Then he turns back and mutters, "God damn bossy ass mother fucking demon…" We raise our weapons…and the assholes run off mumblin somethin bout a couple of ape shit loony fags with weapons. Once they take off, I look at Edward who lets out a huge breath and smiles, "Thank God that worked. Guess they knew better than to mess with a couple of crazy gay white boys that argue with demons and threatens to go Jose Conseco on their asses." I shake my head and laugh as I put the crow bar back in the trunk and retrieve Edward's bear. He takes it and snuggles it as he gives me a kiss. He throws his bat in the back seat and slides into the passenger seat. I watch his eyes linger for a moment and a faint blush come to his cheeks and I smile cuz I know he's rememberin our first time. A few minutes later, we're back on the road. We drive for about another hour 'fore gettin a room. Once we shower and fool around a little, we lay down in bed


and talk. And thoughts of mama creep back into my head, even though I don't want them too. But he interrupts my thoughts when he grabs his wallet on the nightstand and hands me a piece of paper from it. I notice it's some sort of newspaper clippin and I start to say, "What's thi…" Until I see that it's from a Chicago newspaper and a picture of a two story house…with a window on the side, painted black. 'The House of Horrors.' I read the article that described the events that took place and the allegations of prior abuse and neglect. I looked over to Edward and he sighed, "I think I want to go there, Jay…see if it's still standing…maybe visit my mother's grave." I swallowed the lump in my throat and folded the article back up, then handed it to him, "Edward? You've been doin so good…are you sure that's a good idea?" He was quiet for a moment before his soft green eyes raised to mine, "Jay? The article called it 'The House of Horrors,' and it was. I held onto so much fear in that house that I think if I can just see it once more…just see that it wasn't…" He groaned and mumbled, "God this is going to sound stupid." I lifted his chin back up and whispered, "Tell me." He sighed, "I always thought…that maybe the house was…possessed or something. You know, like Amityville. Anyway, if I can see that it's just a regular house and if you're with me so I don't feel afraid of being there…I think it will help me, Jay. So, can we go?" I didn't know if it was a good idea or not but I told myself that I would never deny Edward anything he ever asked for again so I reluctantly nodded, "Yeah, baby…we can go." He smiled and kissed me softly, "Thanks, babe." We talked for a little longer about how much fun we had at the carnival before goin to sleep cuz we didn't want bad stuff on our minds as we drifted off. But my mind drifted anyway… Indiana's on the way to Michigan…maybe I could talk to mama…


Chapter Thirty-One Playlist : House of 1000 Corpses by Rob Zombie Edward's POV I was exhausted after driving all day and from the carnival. That had been a lot of fun for me. It was so effortless with Jasper to just be me and let loose. We could run around, playing games and riding rides…just hanging out and being best friends…then, we could have our special little moments that were reserved for lovers of the most intimate kind. And Jasper was just that…my cool, fun best friend in the whole world…and my loving, caring soul mate. I had never known that love could be as complete as ours was. I was worried when those men had been following us at the carnival because I knew how Jasper's temper was and the thought of him losing it, terrified me because of the repercussions. However, he surprised me. He had thought it through logically instead of acting impulsively. He said he didn't want to fight because he knew that he could go back to Texas if things went bad. He had really learned his lesson. So, I felt like it was my time to step up to the bat…so to speak. I think that when people call you and treat you like you're crazy, you believe them. But once you come to an understanding with yourself…embrace your craziness…then you find that it's not such a bad thing. I was different from everyone else…a classic freak by my peers…but I didn't see that as a bad thing anymore. I liked that I was different because it made me unique and strong and smart. I liked me now. And that was all thanks to the beautiful blue eyed boy who gave me a chance and asked me to play some ball with him. Funny how things work out sometimes. Sleep found me easily as I listened to my favorite lullaby.

Oh God that feels so good…so good…oh God…don't stop…don't stop…ugh… My sleepy eyes part for just a moment as I gasp for air at the feeling of Jay's hard, thick erection rubbing against my backside. I squeeze my eyes shut and groan as he presses me face down into the mattress, my own erection grinding into the mattress as he grinds behind me.


I move my face to the side so I can breathe as I moan, "Feels so good, Jay…" He grunts but doesn't say a word as he pins me to the mattress and continues rolling his hips against my ass to the point that I'm begging, "Oh God, Jay…just fuck me…please baby…please…" He mumbles something unintelligible as his grip tightens on my shoulders and his boxer clad steel cock slides up and down my pajama clad ass. So, I beg again as my sleepy hazy mind reels from the raw lustful attack my sexy angel is releasing upon me, "Please, Jay…fuck me, baby…I need you…please…" His hot breath is against my neck as he mumbles, "Mmm…so fuckin tight…feels so fuckin good…" And something is off, so my eyes snap open and I turn my head to look into his baby blues…only, his eyes are shut. Is he even awake? "Jay? Jay, baby, you awake?" He groans and mumbles against my shoulder, "Mmm…love fuckin your squishy ass…ya want it harder, Eddie?" And I bury my face for a moment as I start laughing because Jasper is fast asleep, dreaming of fucking me, and currently dry humping the hell out of my ass. But my laughter is quickly replaced with a throaty moan as his fingers dig into my hips and he starts pounding against me relentlessly. Holy fuck…should I wake him? How the hell is he still sleeping? My dick is throbbing now as the mattress is not providing the kind of friction I need. He pulls me up on all fours and my mind is clouded with wanton desire as he grunts and growls. I lean forward with one arm and reach the other down to wrap around my length so that I can relieve the tension myself. I start working my hand up and down my hard aching cock as he pounds into me from behind. I match my thrusts with his own and all too soon I feel him collapse against me with a strangled, "Edward…" I'm still hard as hell and throbbing with a vengeance as he rolls off of me, onto his back. His shallow panting is starting to subside as he smiles, still with his


eyes closed and mumbles, "Holy shit…fuckin…incredible…get some hot wings…breadsticks …fuckin love you, pretty boy…" And even though I'm extremely sexually frustrated right now…I laugh because he's really cute when he talks in his sleep… But now, I need relief. I think for a moment about waking him up but, he's already cum and really happy in his little wet dream so I don't want to disturb him. Then I think about taking a shower and relieving myself that way but it's 3 in the morning and I don't really want to get wet. So, I just turn to my side and look at his beautiful sleeping face. His cheeks are still flushed from his exertion…his pink lips are slightly parted as his breathing has finally evened out…and his golden curls are hanging loosely over his eyes. He's simply breathtaking and all the inspiration I need as I reach down and pull my throbbing length out and begin slowly pumping it. My hungry eyes rake over his half naked form and my dick twitches at the sight of his strong, lean chest…that mouth watering V that disappears inside his boxers…the rise and fall of his tight stomach as he breathes. I rub my thumb over the slit and spread the wetness from the tip around as I continue softly stroking myself as I watch him sleep. A small whimper escapes my lips as he reaches down and adjusts himself in his sleep so I bite my lip to stifle it. I roll over on my back but keep my eyes on him as I pleasure myself. My mind wanders to thoughts of him inside of me…his hard length filling me as he makes love to me for the very first time. I'll admit that I'm a little scared because…well, I don't want to think about why I'm scared. The important thing is that I know Jay would never hurt me. He would make me feel incredible and special and loved. Even if there was a little pain…he would overshadow it with pleasure. And with those images in my mind of his sweaty, hard body above me…his midnight eyes intense as they gaze into mine…his golden curls damp from his love making and hanging down as he hovers above me…and the intense pure love that would radiate from his body to mine…it doesn't take me long until I cry out his name and cum hard all onto my stomach. I barely have the energy to wipe myself off with the corner of the sheet before I'm out like a light.


I awake to a groan and open my sleepy eyes to see Jay's head lying on my stomach. His pretty blue eyes open and he smiles, "Mornin, darlin." I smile back, "Good morning, babe." He raises his head and immediately brings his hand up to his cheek with a confused look, "Why am I so sticky?" My cheeks begin to burn as I remember our little midnight escapade. Then he pulls open his boxers and furrows his brows, "Uh…Edward? Did we um…fool around last night?" I squeeze my eyes shut and pinch the bridge of my nose because the thought of telling him that I masturbated next to him while watching him sleep…yeah, that's not at all creepy. I feel his hand on my shoulder and his honey voice still rough laced with sleep, "Eddie? What's wrong?" I sigh and keep my eyes shut, "Um…you were…and then I was…and then I couldn't…and um…" He lifted my chin up and whispered, "Breathe, baby. Calm down and try again." I opened my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath before just spilling, "I woke up to you humping my ass in your sleep and I really liked it and then you pulled me up on my knees and dry fucked the hell out of me but you came and I didn't so you fell asleep and I…um…I jerked off and fell asleep." He just stared at me for a moment before I saw his lips start to curl up and soon he was full on laughing. I pulled the blanket over my head to hide me from my embarrassment. He tried to pull it off but I fought to hold it. He was still laughing, "Eddie…don't be mad…c'mon, baby…it's just funny…" Now I let him yank the blanket off while I scowled, "I jerked off while you slept next to me…that's not funny…it's creepy…" Now he was howling in laughter as he reached over and grabbed his cigarettes, "Eddie? Seriously, you're embarrassed? Dude, I'm the one that had a wet dream and humped you like a damn dog! And so what that you jerked off next to me…I've musta done it like a hundred times before!"


Now my brows furrowed as I whispered, "Really?" He nodded and put his arm around my shoulder, bringing me to sit next to him, "Yep…after we started kissin every night…I used to lie and watch you sleep sometimes. I'd get so worked up from makin out with you…and when I watched you sleep…you were so…fuckin beautiful…I couldn't help myself. Still can't." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He always made me feel better, even in the most awkward of situations. We finally dragged ourselves out of bed and showered before gathering our things and hitting the road. I remembered that I needed to call Dr. Greene for our appointment today so I had Jasper drive so I could do that. Dr. Greene asked if I was comfortable talking in the car with Jasper and I just laughed because Jay knew more about my messed up head than anybody and he never judged me. So, we talked about the carnival and what happened. He laughed his ass off. Then we talked about how I was feeling being out in the real world. I found it funny that I hadn't even once been apprehensive about being so far away from home. I guess that being with Jay was enough to make me feel safe so I wasn't bogged down with the worries of being out on my own because I really wasn't. Besides, Jay was my home. Once our hour was up, he asked to speak to Jasper so I handed him the phone, "Dr. Greene wants to talk to you?" He furrowed his brows as he took the phone, "Uh…hello?" I watched him as he spoke, "Seriously? Now?" Then he sighed and pulled over at a gas station. He looked over at me and half smiled, "He wants to talk to me like he does you. Can you drive for awhile?" I nodded and asked, "Yeah, I'm going in for some chocolate milk and glazed donuts…want coffee or something?" Now his dimpled smile returned, "Chocolate milk sounds good and chocolate donuts for me. Thanks, Eddie." The boy and his chocolate…at least he's not drinking coffee like a 40 year old… I just smiled and went in to get our morning breakfast. I also got a bunch of snacks because my man likes to eat and I like to keep my man happy. I got my favorites, Funyuns and Skittles, and I got him barbecue pork rinds (yuck), beef jerky, and M&M's.


We should be good for a few hours. I drove as he talked with Dr. Greene. They talked about Texas mostly and what Jasper had been going through since leaving Forks. It was difficult to hear but I was glad that he felt comfortable talking in front of me as well. Once they hung up the phone, Jasper had said that he agreed to talk with the Doc twice a week, after I did and I was happy about that because the Doc had helped me out tremendously so I was sure he would be a positive influence on Jay. We drove for hours that day but the time passed quickly as we sang to the radio or music off of our IPOD's. Our nighttime escapades were incredible but I kind of wondered how Jasper was feeling about…me taking my turn on bottom. He never brought it up but again that night, I woke up to him rubbing himself against my backside, muttering about how good I felt and how long he had wanted me. And I wanted him…I really did but…I was still a little scared. I knew it was irrational and it wasn't fair to him that I hadn't…um…bottomed yet. So, as we drove through Missouri the next night, I felt I had to ask. I looked over at him while I was driving and he was leaning back in his seat, with his feet up on the dash and his ball cap pulled down over his eyes. "Um…Jay? You asleep?" He lifted the cap up a little and smiled at me, "No. What's up, darlin?" I couldn't help but smile back nervously as I took a deep breath, "Well, I was…um…wondering something…" He looked at me concerned now as I stumbled over my words a bit, "What's wrong, Eddie?" I noticed my hands were shaking and turning white as I gripped onto the steering wheel for dear life. I had no idea why I was so nervous. "Um…do you…um…do you want to…uh…do you want me on bottom?" My chest was heaving and my palms were sweating. And then he started laughing. "What do you think, Edward?" I looked over at him as he flashed me his wide dimpled grin and I could see that glimmer in his eye.


His mood was always infectious to me and soon I was smiling too. "Dumb question, I guess, huh?" He reached down and rubbed himself through his jeans and I gulped at the sight of his long, thick cock pressing against the denim. "Yeah, baby…I want you so bad I can barely fuckin stand it. I wanna feel how tight you are around me…I wanna feel your body clench around mine…I wanna cum deep inside you…fuck…Eddie, I want you more than I've ever wanted anything in my whole life…but I can wait for however long it takes. I won't push you to move before you're ready. When you're ready, you'll let me know." I sighed as I pulled off into a motel. I turned off the car and turned to look at him, "I don't want to make you wait…I feel like I'm being unfair…selfish…" He stopped rubbing himself and pulled his cap off. Then he sat up and smiled as he put it on my head backwards, "Eddie…it doesn't matter to me if you're ever ready for that. I would gladly bottom for you for the rest of my life. It would be unfair and selfish for me to push you into doing something you're not ready for. I love you, baby…everything else will work itself out so please don't worry about it. I'm sorry if my…" he actually blushed now, "…um…rampant night time humpings are making you feel pressured." Now I laughed as I shook my head, "You're not making me feel pressured, Jay…you're actually quite the perfect gentleman…um…when you're awake anyway." Now he laughed as he leaned forward and I cupped his cheek and whispered that I loved him before pressing my lips to his in a soft, sweet kiss. He went and got the room for the night and I was feeling much better having talked with him about it. Part of me still felt bad and wished that I was ready…but I was really grateful to have such a wonderful boyfriend. We made our way to our room and I double checked the directions to my old house in Chicago on Mapquest, just to be safe. We would be getting there tomorrow afternoon sometime and my stomach was in knots. Jasper knew I was feeling on edge and I raised an eyebrow as he pulled out the lotion and smiled, "Wanna massage? Guaranteed to make ya feel better." I smiled back and let out a breath, "That sounds wonderful, Jay. Thank you." He shook the bottle and smiled, "Anytime, babe…now get naked." I laughed but quickly complied and soon his strong, callused hands were rubbing every inch of my body down. I felt all the stress and worry melt away


underneath his magical fingertips. I tried to fight it because I had a hard on and wanted to use it but…sleep took me first. The next morning I was nervous as hell and Jay had to drive. When we passed into Illinois, my stomach was in knots again. We stopped a couple of times for breakfast and lunch. I noticed that even Jasper hadn't eaten nearly as much as he normally does. I was making him nervous too, apparently. I couldn't help it…the closer we got to the house…the more I kept trying to talk myself out of it. Jasper even tried, telling me that I didn't have to do this…that it wouldn't make me weak or anything if I wanted to forget about it…but I just couldn't. My father and the events that took place in that house had ruled me my entire life…I needed to face it head on and take back control of my life. I needed to exorcize my demons. As we entered the neighborhood, my eyes fixated on the surroundings that I missed growing up. The neighborhood was pretty bad. The houses that aligned the streets were rundown and shabby, as those who occupied them obviously had no aspirations to fix them up. Kids were running up and down the street, playing ball, riding bikes…we even saw a fight happening on a basketball court. My eyes narrowed as they scanned the trash covered streets and sidewalks…the homeless people scattered along the alleys…alcoholics gathered outside the liquor stores smoking and drinking...teenagers and adults alike littered their front porches as they smoked joints and blunts and drank from brown paper bags. Jasper laughed uneasily, "Shit, Edward…no wonder your dad didn't want ya to go outside…this looks like some of the fucked up neighborhoods I've lived in." I didn't say anything as I was mesmerized by the scenery around me. He sighed, "Sorry, Eddie…bad joke. You sure ya don't wanna just keep on going?" I shook my head and took a sharp breath, "No." A few minutes later, we pulled to a stop and I shut my eyes briefly before taking a deep breath. Jasper's hand gripped mine and his callused fingertips drew small circles on the back of my hand, causing me to release the breath and attempt to relax. "This is it, Edward. Across the street." I nodded and opened my eyes. Slowly, I leaned over him and looked out the windows. The hushed whispers and laughter started immediately as I stared at the old abandoned house in front of me.


It was two story with a small concrete porch. The steps were cracked and broken and the bushes out front covered most of the front. The house was a dark blue but the paint was chipped and peeled away, exposing the rotting wood underneath. Boards covered the windows and front door, which had numbers spray painted on it. I figured that nobody had lived there since me. The laughter began echoing in my ears and I became agitated as I growled, "Shut the fuck up!" Jasper jumped and looked at me strangely. I blushed at the realization that I had spoken that aloud, "Um…I wasn't talking to you, Jay." He audibly gulped and nodded as his hand squeezed mine tighter, "Okay…well, you've seen it, Edward…let's get outta here." He turned the key in the ignition but I quickly ripped my hand away from his and jumped out of the car. The shadows were taunting me… Welcome home, Edward Anthony Masen Jr.… I muttered softly as I fixated on the decrepit old house, "I'm Edward Cullen…" More laughter… Come on in, Edward…unless you're too afraid…weak…pathetic… My heart was racing and my palms were sweating but I managed to whisper, "I'm n…not afraid…" Before I could stop myself, I was running across the street and up the broken steps. I felt two arms slide around my waist and I quickly turned and shoved the assailant. Then my breath hitched as Jasper stumbled back and looked at me with a hurt expression on his beautiful face. "Fuck…I'm so sorry, Jay…I don't know what I was thinking…I was just…" He approached me more cautiously this time and I felt horrible. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled my body flush with his. His other hand came up and brushed against my cheek as he stared intently into my eyes, "Edward?" I nodded as my breathing became labored and my heart was speeding up even more, "I'm okay, Jay…I'm okay…" He didn't look convinced as he brushed his fingers through the hair on my forehead and pushed it back, "What are you doing, Edward?"


I swallowed as my throat suddenly felt very dry and scratchy, "Um…I want to go in." His eyes widened and before I could register what happened he muttered, "Oh hell no…" and threw my over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I started squirming, "Jasper! Put me down!" He just tightened his hold on me, "Ain't no fuckin way I'm letting you go in that god damn house, Edward." Weak…pathetic…never fights back… My head whipped around to see the shadow streak across the windows on the upper floor. I was starting to get pissed now, "God damn it, Jay! Put. Me. Down!" He grabbed me and plopped me down on the hood of my car as he gripped my hips so tight I was sure they would bruise, "You are not going in that fucking house! Look at you, Edward! You're already talking to them! You fuckin see them too, don't you?" Jasper was angry but…his hands were shaking like crazy. I looked into his eyes and tried to ignore the whispers around me. His beautiful blue eyes were starting to become glossy…I was making him sad again. I lowered my eyes to the ground before closing them. I couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes. I needed to regain control of myself. My arms went around his neck and pulled him to me. I whispered, "I'm sorry, Jay. I lost it for a second. Just give me a few minutes to get myself back together again, okay?" He held me tight and whispered into my neck, "It's okay, Eddie. None of it's real, baby. No one's gonna hurt you. You don't have anything to prove." He whispered this mantra to me over and over as I focused on his words and the scent of his honey breath that seemed to completely envelop me. He rocked me gently and a few minutes later, my heart was slowed down to a normal pace and my breathing was even again. The whispers and laughter were still there but they were very faint and easy to ignore. He pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Edward?" I nodded, "I'm okay Jay…I'm okay…" He let out a breath and nodded, "Okay, baby…let's get outta here."


I shook my head, "No, Jay. They're going to demolish this house soon. I saw the notice on the door. This is the only chance I will ever have of going in there and facing this. Please, Jasper…just come with me." He groaned and turned to look at the house. "Edward…you've been doing so good…I'm so worried bout what this is gonna do to you…" I cupped his cheek and he turned back to look at me, "I know you're worried, Jay but I have to do this…for my own sanity, I have to face this…just like you faced the truth about your parents, Love…I have to face the truth about my past. I'm going in…just please come with me." He took a deep breath and sighed, "Okay, Edward but if you start panicking, I'm dragging your ass back out here and we're leaving." I nodded, "Okay, Jay. Thanks." He took my hand in his and we made our way back up to the house. He looked around for a little bit and said, "We ain't gonna get in this way, we might have to try round back." Still holding my hand, he led me around the side of the house. I gasped as I looked up and saw the small black window facing the old tree. He stopped and followed my eyes upward to the window. Together, we both just stood there and stared at it for quite some time. The laughter was growing louder so I shut my eyes and shook my head to try and dispel them. I felt Jay squeeze my hand a little and my eyes snapped open to his. "You okay, babe?" I nodded, "Yeah…c'mon, let's go." We kept on going around to the back of the house. I stopped again as I looked at the gravel driveway and old worn down garage that led to the alley. Visions of blackened skies and thunderous rain started to cloud my vision and soon the image of an old maroon rust bucket invaded my mind. I felt the thick mud underneath my toes as they stuck out from the faded blue pajamas. So cold…


I shivered as my breath shone into the night sky from the intense cold. The screams were growing louder as the demon yelled for me to come to him. "Edward?" The voice of my angel snapped me back to reality and suddenly I was standing there with him as the bright sun shone down upon us. I'm okay…it's all over…it wasn't real… I nodded at Jay and forced a smile this time, "Yeah, Jay…I'm okay. Please don't worry." "There's a door…I think I can get through that," Jasper dropped my hand and walked up the back porch to the back door that led to the kitchen. There was a small window next to the door. The door only had a few boards nailed across it and I watched as he tried to pull them off. I finally took a breath and began helping him but we couldn't get them off. He sighed and ran his hand through his golden curls, "Maybe I can go in through the window and kick it open." I nodded as he started pushing on the window until it eventually began going up. "Stay right here, Edward." I nodded again as I watched him shimmy through the window. Once he was in, he stuck his head back through the window, "Get off the porch, I'm gonna try and kick the door open." I ran down the steps and into the grass. I heard the loud thud as he began kicking the door. The third kick, the door splintered and broke open. I ran up the steps and began pulling the pieces away until I could get through. I gasped when I saw blood seeping from his side through his shirt. "Jay? You hurt yourself." He looked down and shrugged, "It's no big deal, Edward." He pulled his shirt off and wiped away at the cut. It wasn't that deep but it was long. I sighed, "Shit, Jay, I'm sorry you were hurt…" He just smiled, "Edward, it's a scratch, really babe, no big deal."


He threw his shirt over his shoulder and I gasped as my eyes took in the sight before me. The kitchen table was still there. Chairs were lying on the floor. The floor was littered in trash and dust. My eyes drifted over the wooden floor until it fell upon the discoloration. Bleach… My mother's lifeless eyes… The demon screaming at me, "Scrub the floor, Edward! Get it clean! Cleanliness is next to Godliness and we will have no wickedness in this house!" I gasped as the smell of bleach assaulted my senses and I felt like I was choking. Quickly, Jasper pulled me to him and kissed me fiercely…soon, the scent of honey overpowered the bleach and I was able to kiss him back. I pulled away panting and whispering my thanks to him. He just nodded, "No problem, babe." I looked around and marveled at how much everything had stayed the same. Even the same paintings were hanging on the walls. The same curtains. Slowly, I crept to the cupboard and pulled it open. The same plates and cups adorned the shelves. Shakily I reached up and ran my fingertips along one of the glasses. A moment later, the sound of the glass crashing into the ground jarred me and I gasp as I seek shelter quickly and crouch down underneath the kitchen table. I pull my knees to my chin and rock back and forth as the screaming echoes in my ears. My toes are freezing and my body starts to shiver as the cold permeates through me. I hear the 'slice' of the knife…the flesh tearing open…my mother's terrified shrieks as the devil's belligerent screams resonate through my whole body… My eyes are watering…burning as I look out and see the dark crimson blood flowing from my mother like rivers of satin cascading across the floor. The gleam of the knife causes my eyes to shut for just a moment but when they open again…all I see are baby blue eyes looking into mine. He whispers, "Don't look, Edward. Keep your eyes on mine." I can see the dark outline of his wings as he turns briefly to bring himself underneath the table with me. I whisper, "He'll see you…"


His eyes are glossy but he never falters as he leans forward and whispers, "Don't be afraid, Edward. Luke 22:43." I gasp and whisper, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him." He nodded and we just stared into each other's eyes intently. The screaming begins to fade and the warmth comes back to my body as I take in deep breaths. I shake the cloudy visions from my head and stare at my angel, "Jasper." He lets out a breath and pulls me into a hug. He holds me for awhile and I feel safe and warm in his arms. Eventually, he pulls away and I smile, "Thank you, Jay." He smiles back, "Anytime, Eddie." And then I ask, "How did you know that bible verse?" His cheeks begin to darken as he grins widely, "Your journal. You said that I could read it anytime I wanted, so I have a few times when you're asleep and stuff. I hope you're not mad." I shake my head, "No, baby, I'm not mad. Thanks for caring enough to want to take a peek inside my head. That's a pretty scary place to be." He brushes his fingertips along my cheek and whispers, "I think it's really fuckin beautiful, Edward." I smile and relish in the warm, callused tips of his fingers. I glance up and sigh as I bring my hand up and glide my fingers along the bottom of the table above me, "If I would've had your kitchen table, Jay‌I would've had hundreds of angels above me that night." His fingers cover mine as he gently clenches my hand and pulls it to his lips, "I'm here now, Edward. I'm the only angel you need." I smile at the truth in his words. "C'mon, darlin‌let's get off the floor." I nod and we both scramble from underneath the table. "You ready to leave yet, Edward?"


I shake my head as I begin slowly walking down the short hallway into the living area. Now Jasper gasps as he takes in the surrounding, "Fuck, Edward…this is…crazy…" I nod as I stare at all of the crosses hanging on the walls. Pictures of Jesus' crucifixion…the Last Supper…various bible verses and hundreds of crosses adorned the walls and tables. Some things were missing or broken on the floor but a lot of it was still there. Jasper walked over to a broken picture on the floor and crouched down. I knew which picture it was by the audible gulp and the way his eyes fixated on the image. I spoke softly, "My parents grew up in church together. They started dating when they were seventeen. That's a picture of them at their prom." His wide eyes looked up at me and I knew what he was thinking, "Jasper…I know my father and I look identical. It's…scary, huh?" My heart was racing… Please don't be afraid of me, Jay… He dropped the picture and stood in front of me, placing his strong hands on my shoulders, "Edward…you are not your father." I sighed, "No…I am my father's son. Psalms 106:37...They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to demons." He furrowed his brows, "You don't believe that, do you? You know all of this stuff is in your head, Edward. It's not real." I nodded, "I know, Jay." That's easy to say when you're not the one who sees and smells and hears them speaking to you… My eyes fell to the end table. An old dusty Bible lay there. It was my mother's. Carefully, I picked it up and ran my fingertips over the embossed lettering. I sighed as I opened it up and the pages fell open to Matthew 12. I whispered verses 43 and 44... "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left…" The shadow streaked by me again and I closed my eyes.


The chill took me over as goose bumps began to rise all over my skin. I heard the whispering as if it were standing right behind me. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." I shuddered and whispered back to the devil at my ear, "1st Peter, Chapter 5, Verse 8." I could feel the streaks of cold air whip by me as they danced around laughing as my eyes began to tear. I heard my mother's gargled screams, "Run, Edward!" I looked down at my freezing toes that stuck through the feet of those dirty blue pajamas then back to the kitchen. The red satin ribbons covered her body as her eyes bore into mine. Her screams were louder this time, "Run, Edward! Hide!" So, I obeyed my mother. I took off for the staircase that led to my room upstairs…my refuge. The stairs creaked and moaned underneath my icy feet. My doorway was to the right of the staircase…if only I could make it. The demon was chasing me but I ran faster. A moment later, I slammed my door shut and quickly locked it. I ran to my nightstand and pulled out the long piece of rusted metal, jamming it into the frame of the door to keep the demon out. Then the door began to pound and vibrate. He was trying his best to get in. I threw my hands over my ears so that I wouldn't hear his pleas to let him in. I crawled onto my bed and huddled in the corner. I kept saying to myself over and over again… "Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me an angel…please protect me…" A few minutes later, the banging on the door ceased…but I knew this wasn't over yet so I was much too frightened to open the door and leave my room. I continued my pleas to God as I rocked back and forth…


"Daniel 4:13 "In the visions I saw while lying in my bed, I looked, and there before me was a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven…please, God…send me an angel…please protect me…" And then…I heard scratching at the window…but I wasn't afraid. I pulled my hands away from ears and ever so slowly crept over to the window. I watched in amazement as the paint was being frantically scratched away. A streak of sunlight broke through and I gasped at the warmth that now shone across my face. More and more light continued to break through as the paint was peeled away. Then I saw him. He was perched upon a branch outside my window. Golden curls blew lightly in the breeze…sky blue eyes stared into mine…he turned for a moment and saw the dark outline of wings against his tan back. My angel…God sent me an angel… He turned back and pressed his palm to the window and I studied his calloused fingertips carefully and saw the black paint embedded underneath his fingernails. Slowly, my hand rose and pressed against his through the glass. The warmth that radiated from it was heavenly. He smiled a beautiful dimpled grin and the corner of my mouth turned up in a crooked smile. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Then I heard the banging at the door again. My head turned and I gasped and began to stumble backwards as the demon stood now in my room, hovering above me. I quickly flashed my eyes to my angel who was now beating against the glass, his lips moving but I couldn't hear anything but the demon screaming. "Edward Anthony Masen! When I tell you to come…you come! Disrespecting your father is pure wickedness! You are an evil, wicked child!" I just shook my head as my strangled sobs prevented me from speaking and I continued backing up. The shattering glass from the window caught my attention as I looked over and saw my angel, struggling to break all the glass away and crawl through.


The shards of glass shimmered in the sunlight. The demon looked down at the glimmering pieces of glass and his face twisted into a sadistic smile… If you want me gone, Edward…you know what to do… I was shaking as I crawled on my hands and knees to the broken shards. I didn't want this but I had to release him…I had no other choice. I picked up a large piece of glass and closed my eyes as it hovered above my wrist. "Edward, stop!" My eyes flashed open and there stood my angel. He kneeled down before me and slid his rough fingers over mine, taking the glass from me and setting it down beside us. He whispered, "Matthew 4:11." I looked around and saw that my room was bear…no demons in sight…no whispers…no screams…only the smell of pure sticky honey encompassed me. I smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care of him." He nodded, "He's gone, baby…he will never come back again. Exodus 23:20." I ran my fingertips down his cheek and whispered, "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Again, he nodded, "The place I have prepared for you, Edward…is right by my side. You and me…we're gonna walk out of this house, side by side, and leave the demons behind." My beautiful angel saved me…my angel Jasper…Jasper…Jay… I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me close. I whispered as I cried against his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I did it again…I'm so sorry…" He held me tight and kissed below my ear, "It's okay, baby…it's all over now. Are you okay?" I nodded and pulled away, "I am now. I'm really okay this time. Thanks, Jay." He smiled, "Can we get outta here now?"


I nodded, "Yeah…let's go." We stood up and I walked over to the window and looked out. Turns out my view would've been of the brick building beside me so I guess I wasn't missing much. I walked over to my nightstand and opened the drawer. I couldn't believe that my Bible and Winnie the Pooh were still there. I smiled as I pulled out Winnie the Pooh and shut the drawer back. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged, "Maybe our kids will like it someday." He broke out into a beautiful dimpled grin, "I thought you didn't want kids." I smiled back, "I don't want biological children but…families aren't made of flesh and blood. Who knows what will happen in the future." He held out his hand and I took it. We pulled out the metal in the door and opened it up. As we got ready to walk down the stairs, I remembered something. "Wait a second, Jay." I turned and ran into the bedroom to the left of the stairs. He came I behind me and spoke, "What, Edward?" I walked to the dresser and rummaged around a bit before finding what I was looking for. The picture was dusty and damaged but I smiled as I looked at it. He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Is that you and your mama?" I nodded, "Yeah…I was only a year old. I don't know who took it…but I remember my mom used to look at it all the time. She was really beautiful, huh?" He nodded and kissed my cheek, "Yeah, she was, Edward. I think you look a lot like her." I smiled because I knew he was lying…I was the spitting image of my father…but the gesture was thoughtful anyway. I tucked the picture inside of the book and we made our way down the stairs. We left through the front door this time…although it took a minute to tear the boards away.


And we walked out, hand in hand…side by side. As we got in the car, he chewed on his lip for a moment. "What is it, Jasper?" He sighed, "I was thinking about something but I don't know if I should or not." I furrowed my brows, "What is it, Jay?" He looked out the window, "I was thinkin bout visiting my mama. Indiana is on the way…but I don't know." I sighed and began running circles along the palm of his hand, "Jasper…I would give anything to speak to my mother again. Your mother is finally tied down to one spot and can't run away from you. If it were me…I'd say go and make her finally listen. Make her answer your questions. Get some peace, baby." He nodded, "Yeah…I guess it's not like she can run from me or anything this time. Okay, thanks, Eddie." I nodded, "Sure, Jay…um…by the way, would you mind if we took some flowers to my mother's grave, It's not very far from here." He smiled, "Not at all, darlin." He leaned over and kissed me softly as he whispered, "Love you, Eddie." I whispered back, "Love you too, Jay."


Chapter Thirty-Two Songs: Heaven Sent by Keisha Cole (Chopped and Screwed) on my youtube Jasper's POV As we pulled off down the street, I didn't bother glancing back at Edward's childhood home. I was relieved to be leaving there, once and for all and thankful that the fucker was being demolished soon. I gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning white. It was the only way I could control my hands, that were still shaking from everything that had happened. They ached and I'm pretty sure I was bleeding underneath my fingernails. My fingers were throbbing and burning, along with my side and shoulders, which I had scraped up pretty bad on the glass from the window. But I tried my best not to let Edward in on the fact that I was hurting something awful right now and I was thankful that dusk was starting to set so that he couldn't see as well. He didn't need any more stress on him and I didn't want him to harbor any guilt, which I knew he would. We drove for just a little while, when I knew I needed to stop cuz I was about to lose it. My body ached and my mind was still all over the place. I almost lost him‌ I could feel my eyes beginning to burn but quickly cut off the emotions before those damn tears spilled over. I pulled into the first gas station I saw and stopped at the pump, "Why don'tcha go in and fill up the tank, Eddie‌I gotta go to the bathroom." He nodded, "Sure, Jay." He looked at me for a moment and I knew he was studying me. I smiled, "Would'ja grab me a Coke too, darlin?" He smiled back and let whatever he was thinking about go, "Yeah, baby. Be back in a minute." We jumped out and I went into the bathroom as he went into the gas station. Luckily, it was a one person restroom so I was able to lock the door behind me.


I walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. I held my hands underneath it and hissed as they burned. I was right, I was bleeding from underneath my fingernails and that shit hurt like a son of a bitch. Everything weighed heavily on me as anger and fear bubbled inside me until I cradled my face into my hands and screamed to try and let it out. When that didn't work, I hit the wall until the pain brought me to my knees. Now my left hand was bleeding as well but I knew that nothing was broken. I was rocking back and forth on my knees, trying to calm myself down as I sucked in deep breaths of air and clutched my hand tightly to my stomach. I looked on my left side and noticed blood seeping through my shirt. It had dried partially and I groaned as I pulled the shirt off and it pulled at the cut and dried blood. I stood, shakily and feeling weak as I made my way back to the sink. My eyes caught my image in the mirror and my breathing hitched as a thin line of blood began running down my chest from my shoulder. I got my shirt wet underneath the faucet and began wiping at the blood until it was gone and then I held it firmly on my shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. My body was aching and my head was pounding. My mind began to wander as I closed my eyes and tried to take my mind off the pain… I have never believed in God…or the Devil…but seeing that look of absolute terror in my beautiful boy's eyes and watching him back up along that wooden floor while looking completely haunted…I suddenly began questioning my own sanity as I briefly wondered if there really was something there that I didn't see… I had never been more thankful for my dad than I had been at that moment… My dad taught me two things in life…how to fight and how to prepare for war. The moment Edward had mentioned visiting his childhood home, I began preparing because I just knew…I knew that we were stepping into Hell and I was gonna have to go toe to toe with the Devil. I began searching through his journal, trying to find information that would be helpful if my baby boy should start to lose the battle and I would have to step in… I read about a dream he had where I had been with him that night, only I was an angel… I memorized those Bible verses, repeating them to myself over and over again until I knew them by heart so I would be prepared to be the angel he needed…


I figured that all of these dreams and hallucinations he had, always involved him believing and praying for an angel to come and save him…I knew that this might be my only shot of doing just that and laying these fuckin demons to rest once and for all… When he took off upstairs and locked himself in his room…I went fuckin crazy and started banging on the door, tryin my best to get in there… But then I pulled myself back and tried to remain calm…I figured I was probably scaring the shit out of him so I pressed my ear to the door and heard him whispering through shaky sobs, that same verse about the angel coming down from Heaven from his dream…I heard him praying for an angel to come and rescue him… I knew that was my one chance… So I bolted outside and around to the tree by his window. I had my shirt still tucked into the back of my jeans as I started climbing. The tree was old and I thought it might break right underneath me but there was no way I wasn't gonna make it up there to him…even if I really did have to spout wings and fuckin fly… When I got to the window, I wanted to just break the glass and jump through…but I didn't know if he was near it and I remembered what his angel had done in his dream…so I began peeling and scratching the paint off with my fingernails. It hurt so bad as the black paint became embedded underneath them…dried and old and not coming off easily but the thought of my boy in there, scared and alone…I kept on past the pain… And once enough of the paint was peeled away…I saw those beautiful green eyes staring into mine… I pressed my palm to the glass and I was so releived and happy when he pressed his back to mine. That beautiful crooked grin graced his face…but suddenly he jumped as his eyes turned towards the door. My heart was beating through my chest as I watched his eyes grow wide and all the color drain from him…he was now terrified. He stumbled backwards and fell onto the floor as he looked up into the air…he was crawling backwards, trying to get away from the images he saw… I panicked… I hit the window as the glass went flying. I almost lost my balance as the glass shattered everywhere and instinctively grabbed onto the windowsill, leaving


more glass embedded into my palm this time. Then I remembered that I had my tshirt so I wrapped my hand in it and began knocking all the glass away from the sides so I could get in. The window was pretty small and I knew I was gonna cut myself climbing in so I tried to get as much of it out as I could… But then I saw Edward crawling over to the glass on his floor. My heart stopped when he picked up a large piece, shaking his head back and forth as he sobbed…he held it above his wrist and all thoughts of pain left me as I just pulled myself through…it hurt like hell as I felt the glass digging into me but I was about to lose him… Ain't no fuckin way I could ever let that happen… I had done some searching on the Web for Bible verses that might be useful to me about casting out the devil and all that shit…just in case… Well, Edward thought I was his angel right now so it was time for me to send that fuckin demon all the way back down to Hell and rescue my beautiful boy from the nightmare he had been living in for ten fuckin years… I took the glass from his fingers and whispered, "Matthew 4:11." He smiled and whispered, "Then the devil left him, and angels came to take care of him." And I could see in his eyes that the demon was gone…I only hoped that it was for good this time. A knock on the door made me jump and pull me from my thoughts… I started to say something when I heard his voice call out on the other side, "Jay? It's Edward. Please let me in. Are you okay?" I cleared my throat and struggled to keep my voice calm, "I'm okay, babe. I'll be out in a minute." I heard him sigh and softly say, "Please, Jay. Please let me in." I hung my head and groaned cuz he knew I couldn't say no to him. I walked over and pulled the latch back, then opened the door. His breathing hitched when he saw me. He came in quickly and shut and locked the door behind him. "Jay…shit, you're hurt."


I shook my head and smiled, "It's nothing, darlin…ya know I'm a soldier." His eyes started to water as he pursed his lips. He gently took my arm and guided me back to the sink, "You're bleeding all over…" He grabbed my shirt and wetted it again before softly wiping at the cuts on my side. I hissed as he cleaned the dried blood away. His hands were shaking and he was trying hard not to cry. I grabbed his hands and whispered, "I'm okay, Edward…" He shook his head and then the dam just broke as he screamed out crying, "You could've been killed! You could've fallen from that tree! You could've cut an artery on that window!" He threw himself back against the wall and hung his head down as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He shook his head and now whispered through sobs, "I could've lost you forever…" And in that moment, I knew exactly how he felt. So I did the only thing I could to make us both feel better. I grabbed his face and kissed him with everything I had. He responded quickly as his lips parted for mine and our tongues became quickly entangled. The kiss was raw and fierce as we attempted to swallow each other whole. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me roughly against him. And I was overcome with desperation as my hands left his beautiful face and quickly cupped his ass as I pulled him up. He complied easily and wrapped his legs around my waist as I eased him onto the bathroom counter, never losing the forceful passion of the kiss. My jeans were growing tighter by the second as I pushed myself against him. His back arched as he broke from the kiss with a low moan and threw his head back against the wall. I could feel him harden now as his legs tightened around my waist and he met my wild thrusts with his own. We were both panting as I pushed my hands into the back of his jeans and squeezed his ass so tight I thought briefly that I might leave a bruise…but his eyes rolled back as his head fell against the wall and he groaned a soft, "Oh fuck, Jay…"


I raised my eyes just as his hooded eyes locked on mine. I watched them flitter to my shoulder and then I noticed a thin line of blood starting to trail down my chest again. For a moment, I was afraid he was gonna try and stop me so we could take care of it…what I was not expecting was for him to lean forward and flick out his tongue right above my nipple and begin dragging it upwards to claim the blood on his tongue. My body shivered cuz that was all kinds of fuckin hot… He knew what he was doing to me because once he reached my shoulder, he moaned a soft, "Mmm…" as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip, leaving a smudge of blood across it. Then he smirked and whispered, "You're delicious, Jasper. If I were a vampire…I would drain you dry…" His hands quickly popped open the button on my jeans and pulled the zipper down as he leaned into my neck and whispered, "…I still might…" I fuckin whimpered as he licked and sucked and softly bit the juncture of my neck and shoulder… Kinky Edward is fuckin awesome… And right as his hand slid into my jeans and grasped my cock, cuz I was going commando…there was a knock at the door. It was then that I remembered we were in a nasty ass gas station bathroom. Edward looked annoyed and growled, "In a fucking minute!" I couldn't help but laugh at how mad he was and soon he was laughing too as we readjusted ourselves and kissed one last time before opening the door and leaving. I smiled as I noticed Edward turn bright red as we passed the man who was waiting while he stared at us suspiciously, no doubt since we came out together and were obviously flushed. I loved how Edward could go from being aggressive and powerful with me…to being shy and awkward with everyone else. That side of Eddie was for me and me only… He hopped in the driver's seat, "I'll drive, Jay. There was a hotel a little ways back…let's get a room for the night so I can tend to your cuts. We can go visit the cemetery tomorrow." I nodded and laid back in the seat, exhausted from the day, "Okay, Eddie. It should only take us a couple hours to get to Indianapolis for me to see mama. Visiting hours are over at five…I just hope she put me on the visitor's list so I can get in."


He pulled out of the gas station and sighed, "I hope so too, Jay. I know that I won't be on it though so you'll have to face her on your own. Are you okay with that, baby?" I shrugged as I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, "Guess we'll find out." He drove into a drug store parking lot and left the car running as he ran in to get some stuff to clean my cuts and take care of me. Secretly, I loved it when Eddie went all caretaker on me…it was something I never really had before him. I didn't mind being hurt if he was there to take care of me. It wasn't too much longer until we were in a room and Eddie was dragging me to the bathroom. I didn't object as he started undressing me…in fact, I couldn't help but smirk down at him as he pulled my jeans off and my hard cock was standing proudly just inches from his plump cherry lips. He smirked back up at me, "You like me taking care of you, huh?" I just bit my lip so that he could see the stud from my tongue and slowly nodded. His breathing hitched as he looked down, pulled off my socks and muttered, "Jesus Christ…" Much to my dismay, he stood back up once I was naked and turned on the shower. He was slightly flushed and tenting his own jeans as he smiled shyly, "Um…let's get you cleaned up so I can dress those cuts." I loved shy Eddie…but I wanted naughty Eddie to come out and play. So, I turned and stepped into the shower but stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. His eyes quickly lifted from their gaze on my ass and he blushed. I smirked as I ran the steel stud across my bottom lip and knew that he could see my tattoo now. I stroked my hard shaft softly as my hooded eyes locked on his, "Ya ever fuck an angel?" I watched as his eyes grew darker and the blush faded from his cheeks. He swallowed once and I groaned at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing. He pulled his shirt over his head and graced me with that crooked grin as he purred, "Not yet…" He pushed his jeans and boxers down over his thick rigid cock and grabbed the lube from the bathroom counter. His smirk was that deviant little grin that caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand and my cock to start throbbing in anticipation.


He walked up behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist, sliding his fingers over mine as we worked them slowly up and down my shaft. He whispered in my ear as goose bumps broke out all over me, "I'm going to fuck you up against the shower wall. Would you like that, Jay? Would you like me to fuck you, angel?" I shuddered cuz that was exactly what I wanted right now. I wanted to see strong, powerful, assertive, aggressive Edward. I needed him to be that way after what happened today and I was pretty sure he did too. I nodded as I swallowed hard. He laughed softly in my ear as he gently pushed me up against the wall. I let go of my dick and put both hands against the cold tile. He whispered against my neck as he nipped and sucked, "Say it, Jay. Tell me." Edward did things to me that I would have never imagined possible. I fuckin whimpered as my heart beat out of my chest and I breathed out, "Fuck me, Edward. Please, baby…fuck me." His satin fingers glided along my hip as the hot water sprayed down over us. I held my head down and closed my eyes. I heard the top of the lube pop open and I couldn't help the grin that came to my face. I felt his finger rub my entrance lightly before slowly pressing in. The grin was quickly replaced by a low moan as my back arched and his fingers kneaded my ass softly. He continued stretching me for awhile until I was pressing back into his fingers for more. They quickly pulled out and I soon felt the head of his cock pressing into me. It still hurt a little but I was getting much more used to it now and knew that the reward was definitely worth a little pain. He moved slowly, easing himself into me until I felt his thighs against mine. He stayed still for a moment and ran his fingers lovingly over my 'wings' as he whispered, "Tell me if I hurt you, angel…I want to make you feel only good things, baby…" It didn't take long until I was pushing back into him, ready for him to fuck me into oblivion and erase all the bad shit that happened today. He started off slow, making sure that I was okay as his hips rocked gently against my ass. But soon, his fingers were clenching my hips as the feel of his wet, hard cock pounding into my magic spot over and over again had me screaming out shit that would even normally make me blush… "Oh fuck yeah, Eddie…harder, baby…fuck my ass, sugar…your big cock feels so fuckin good in my tight little ass…you like that…you like fuckin me baby?"


He was growling now behind me as our slick, wet skin made slapping noises as we connected roughly over and over again, "Ugh…I love fucking your tight ass, Jay…feels so fucking good…you're mine, Jay…all mine…no one will ever fucking touch you but me…who do you belong to, angel?" Fuck…I love possessive Edward… Edward was fuckin me right and proper so I leaned my forehead against the wall on my arm as my other hand slipped down to my own big dick and began stroking myself as hard and fast as he was fuckin me. I closed my eyes and moaned against my arm at the grunts and groans…the feel of his hard wet body slamming into mine…the hot water streaming down over us…, "You, Edward…I'm all fuckin yours, darlin…oh fuck…Eddie…make me cum, pretty boy…" My body was burnin and achin for release and I knew it was comin soon as my stomach begin to clench and I became dizzy and drunk with pure, unfiltered ecstasy. I felt his fingers slide into my wet curls and pull my head back as he nipped on my earlobe, "Look at me, Jasper." I turned my head as he caught my lips between his teeth and tongue. I groaned loudly as he attacked my mouth, all wild and shit. I let go of my cock and drew my hand back into his hair, pulling him even closer to me as our bodies slapped and slid together. His hand slid around to my stomach and held me close and tight against him while the other hand fluttered along my bobbing cock and began stroking me softly, in stark contrast to the good hard fuck he was giving me. And I thought I was good at fuckin…I had nothin on Edward fuckin Cullen… I moaned into his mouth as the conflicting sensations had my mind and body on a fuckin pleasure overload. I started shaking as the burning in my abdomen grew into a full out inferno. I was certain at this point that if he hadn't been holding onto me so tightly, my knees would've completely given out on me. I was so fuckin close that I couldn't even kiss anymore…I couldn't focus on anything but what he was doing to my body. I broke from the kiss and laid my head back on his shoulder as my eyes closed and my back arched. I felt his hot breath on my neck and he nuzzled his nose to push the wet curls away from my ear as he whispered, "Holy shit…looks like the pretty boy has some skills."


Then he laughed that little cocky laugh and I smiled as I panted out, "Cocky fucker…" He nipped at my ear and whispered, "I'm about to make Jasper Whitlock come completely undone by fucking his pretty little ass with my big thick cock and stroking his long rigid dick with barely a touch from my fingers…a guy like me can afford to be a little cocky, Jay." And with that, I squeezed my eyes shut and exploded in his hand and the all over the wall, "Ugh…fuck…Ed…Ed…Edward, fuck…" His grip tightened around my waist and I felt his shallow breaths against my neck as he moaned, "Ugh...fuck…Jay…Ugh…" And I felt him spasm and cum deep inside of me. He held onto me for a few minutes after that so we could come down together. When he finally softened and slipped out of me, I turned in his arms and pulled him flush with me as I kissed him deeply, murmuring how much I loved him and would always love him. He returned the affection to me and so we just stood there under the water, kissing and loving one another. Eventually we got out of the shower and he led me to the bedroom. We didn't bother with putting any clothes on as he grabbed the stuff he got from the drug store and started cleaning and bandaging my cuts and scrapes. I had a long gash on my leg and I shuddered as he was kneeling in front of me, blowing softly on the cut to take away some of the sting after cleaning it. My cock twitched and he just chuckled as he continued blowing. I smiled down at him and wondered aloud, "Hey Eddie?" "Hmm?" I leaned back on my hands and watched him work, "Have you ever thought about being a doctor like Carlisle? You're real good at this shit. Ya kinda remind me of your daddy." He smiled up at me but it didn't reach his eyes, "Well, I have thought about it but I don't think it's a possibility for me. I don't think that I could handle the blood…or the surgery…or…losing someone. I don't think I'm…mentally capable of handling it." I reached out and ran my fingers through his damp bronze locks, "I don't know, Eddie…I think you'd be a great doctor. So, have you ever thought about what you want to do when we graduate?" Now his smile was brilliant as he looked up at me, "Marry you."


My heart fluttered…that's right, it fuckin fluttered cuz my beautiful boy had been thinkin bout us being married too. I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face, "Yeah?" He laughed, "Of course you have to ask me first." I nodded, "I will, baby. You can count on it." He stood up and leaned over me until he was hovering above me. His pretty green eyes melted into mine as he smiled and began nipping at my jaw line, "I can't wait…I'm sure it will be incredible, I mean, afterall…you're pretty good at this romantic shit." I wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him down on top of me, "You're catchin up, Eddie." We fooled around a little more until we had both passed out in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs and body parts. But I couldn't escape the reality of what had happened today in my dreams that night… I watched as my baby boy scooted along the floor, terrified as he looked wide eyed at the demon who hovered over him. I began beating the window, trying my best to break through and rescue him…but it wouldn't shatter. I was crying and screaming for him as I saw him reach for an old rusty razor blade on the floor. I was gonna lose him forever… I begged and pleaded for him to stop but he couldn't hear me. I felt the sharp pain in my wrists as he dragged the blade across his…the blood quickly running down his arms and hands. I looked to mine and they were cut open as well, dripping blood down my arms. My eyes burned from the tears and my body ached. I held my palm to the window and watched as his beautiful face turned to mine. He crawled on slit wrists to the window, leaving trails of blood behind him. Then he reached up and pressed his bloody palm against mine through the glass before he collapsed on the floor.


The window shattered now as I drug myself through. I picked up his lifeless body in my arms…his beautiful green eyes were still open but completely vacant now. Then I heard the laughter. Suddenly I was surrounded by demons…faceless shadows that whispered and taunted me. The taunts were viscious as they reminded me of how I treated mama so badly from the very beginning, before she even ever did anything to me…they reminded me of how Sarah and her friends humiliated me and how I couldn't even fuck right until I was taught…they reminded me that I wasn't good enough for Edward and never would be…they told me I should be thankful that he was gone because I was even too scared to make love to him…I would never be good enough for him… I felt him move in my arms and I looked down to see his eyes were brilliant as he smiled that crooked little grin and whispered, "I'm okay, Jay…see, I'm not crazy…" I pulled him into me and hugged him fiercely as I thanked God for giving him back to me...I swore that I would be better…be good enough…I would try harder… The demons were howling in laughter as I held him tight and told him how much I loved him and that I'd never let anything bad happen to him again. When I pulled away to kiss his cherry lips…he was lifeless once again. This happened over and over again…I would see him, happy and beautiful…then lifeless and…gone…as the demons kept up with their hateful ridicule… The laughter echoed in my ears, making my head ache and my ears ring… Edward was gone and I was going crazy… I woke with a gasp as I frantically grabbed onto Edward's shoulder's as he looked down at me, "Jay? Are you okay, baby, it was just a nightmare." I nodded as I tried to calm my breathing down. He pushed the damp curls from my forehead and whispered, "It was about me." He didn't ask it as a question so I figured he knew. I nodded again as I looked into his eyes…eternally grateful that they were looking back at me. He sighed, "I'm so sorry, Jay. I hate that I'm hurting you."


I reached up and brushed back his bronze locks and whispered, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Edward. It was just a nightmare…no big deal." He sighed again as he pulled away and sat up, pulling his fingers through his hair, "Jasper…you were dreaming about demons…you thought you were going crazy…you were frantic." Shit, why the fuck do I gotta talk in my sleep? I sat up next to him and pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and leaning my face on my knees to look at him, "Edward…it's not your fault…" His face turned and looked into mine as he whispered, "You're afraid to make love to me." Again, it wasn't a question. I let out a big breath as I put my head down and truly felt like a coward. I whispered, "Yeah." "Why?" Images of Sarah and her friend's raced through my mind. I squeezed my eyes shut and just let it all out, "Because…I've never made love to someone, Edward…it took me a long time to get any good at fuckin…I'm…fuck…I'm afraid I'm not gonna be any good at it…I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you…" He took a deep breath and whispered, "Jay, look at me." I didn't wanna face him…I felt stupid and vulnerable…but as I turned my head and looked into his pretty green eyes…I felt better. "Jasper, what did Sarah do to you?" I furrowed my brows cuz he already knew this, "She taught me how to fuck…" He took another breath and spoke quietly, "Jasper…if she had done to me what she did to you…what would you do?" Just the thought of that evil bitch coming anywhere near Edward made my fuckin blood boil, "I'd fuckin kill her!" He raised an eyebrow and I groaned. Fuck…


I lowered my head back down to my knees and whispered, "She molested me." I felt his arms wrap around me and I looked up into his eyes, "How could I be so stupid, Edward?" He shook his head, "You're not stupid, Jay…you were twelve. It started when you were eleven. She manipulated you…the same thing had probably been done to her. It doesn't make you stupid or weak but you've got to understand that those things she told you were not true. You had never given a blowjob before the first time and trust me, babe…you were fucking incredible." Now I snickered as his crooked grin lit up the dark room, "Well, I had gotten blow jobs before so I had an advantage." He smirked, "How am I in bed? Am I any good at making love? Fucking?" Now images of all the times we had been together raced through my mind and my cock twitched at the memories. I felt my dimples as I grinned, "You're fuckin incredible, Edward." He whispered, "I've made love to you, Jay…so you still have an advantage. You know what you're doing and you love me…the rest is easy. Do you remember the first time we…um…well, we dry humped and came together?" I followed his lead as he laid back down and pulled me with him, "Yeah." He started playing with my curls as he sighed sleepily, "Remember I was getting a little…uh…anxious…but you slowed me down…said you wanted to do it right. We spent hours just…loving on each other. You can't honestly believe that you won't be any good." I smiled against his chest as he yawned, "Yeah, I remember. Get back to sleep, baby. I'm good now." His voice was rough and sleepy as he whispered, "S'okay, babe…we can talk if you want." I was quiet and waited for about 30 seconds until I heard his soft snores. I laid there awhile trying to sleep but I was just too wired. I was anxious about seein my mama…thinkin too much about what had happened today…pissed and feelin stupid about what I let Sarah do to me…and…fuck, I really wanted to make love to Edward. After about a half hour, I pulled myself from the bed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants before walking out on the balcony to smoke a cigarette. The brisk night time air felt good as I sat and lit up.


I needed to just fuckin chill and not think of any of this shit right now or I was gonna drive myself crazy. I went in and grabbed my Ipod from my bag. A few minutes later, I was sitting in a patio chair with my feet propped up on the railing, smoking a cigarette and listening to some chopped and screwed 'baby makin music', as my Cuz used to call it. I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered when he first got me listenin to this shit… He was in his kitchen, fryin us up some bacon. His back was turned and he was dancing and singin to a chopped and screwed version of Heaven Sent. I started laughin my ass off and he just smirked over his shoulder, "Laugh all ya want, ya lil' cocky fucker…you ain't man enough yet to appreciate this shit." I rolled my eyes as I hit the blunt, "Man enough? I don't listen to chick music, dude." He came over and snatched the blunt from me, "If ya ain't never learned nothin from your old cuz, Jay…learn this…a real man appreciates a lil' romance and ain't nothin wrong it." Now I was laughin again. He handed me the blunt back and sat down, "Are you in love with that chick back in Washington?" The laughter stopped immediately as my fuckin chest ached, "Um…yeah, but…it's over." He sat there a minute before he sighed, "It ain't really over, cuz. Us Whitlock's…when we fall…we fall hard and that shit don't stop for us. Look at me and Casi…we've broken up like twenty times these last few years but we always end up back together. Look at your daddy…he ain't never moved on from your mama. Now I'm gonna play this song again and I want ya to listen to the words. Ain't nobody here but you and me, cuz…ya ain't gotta put on an act around me." He got up and started the song over…I did listen to the words…and I kinda fell in love with that shit…yeah, I was a romantic fucker, so what… When it was over I sighed as I thought of Edward, "I liked it, Cuz…it was kinda…pretty and shit." He laughed as he sat down two plates filled with bacon, eggs, and biscuits, "Yup…oh and another good thing…this shit will get ya laid fast as lightening!" I just shook my head and laughed as I started eatin, "You're a silly fucker, Cuz."


He laughed, "Yeah…I'm all romantical and shit." So, now I was sittin out here listenin to it again. I closed my eyes and flicked my cigarette out. I laid my head back on the chair and before long, I was singin the words softly into the midnight sky… "I wanna be the one who you believe, in your heart is sent from heaven…There's a piece of me who leaves when you're gone, because you're sent from heaven…" I was just kinda lost to the music and the cool breeze, when I felt my pretty boy climb on top of me and straddle my lap. I smiled without even opening my eyes. His arms wrapped around my neck and he laid his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my nose into his hair, "What'cha doin up, sugar?" He sighed, "I was lonely." I just held onto him for a minute when I felt him pull one of my ear buds out. I opened my eyes as he put it in his ear. He raised an eyebrow and I just shrugged, "I listened to it a lot when I thought we were…over." He didn't say anything, he just nodded slightly and laid his head back down on my shoulder. I felt him smile against my skin as he whispered, "I like it…it's kind of pretty. Will you keep singing for me?" "Sure thing, darlin." I held him and sang softly in his ear. His fingers played with the curls at the nape of my neck as I ran mine up and down his strong back, along his spine. I felt him shiver so I whispered, "Ya cold, baby?" He shook his head, "No, love…I'm very warm." I felt his soft lips pucker and brush along my neck and shoulder. Now I broke out in goosebumps as he started kissing and sucking the sensitive spot at the crook of my neck. I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips as I tilted my head to give him better access. I could feel him starting to harden through his pajama pants as he began rocking his hips back and forth against me.


My fingers dug into the soft flesh on his hips as my dick started twitching from the beautiful boy on top of me. His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin on my neck and quickly lavished it with his silky tongue. My hips slowly started moving with his from underneath. He moaned against my skin and I was losing all control. My fingers ran along his spine until they locked into his soft bronze locks and dragged his lips up to mine. My baby boy tasted so good and I relished his mouth with my lips and tongue. We were both rock hard as the kiss just seemed to get deeper and deeper…tongues and teeth and lips…moans and grunts and soft breaths…hands pulling hair and clenching shoulders… I wanted Edward…I wanted him now…fuck that…I needed him now… I was done being afraid…I was done letting my past make me insecure…I was done being a fuckin pussy. I was Jasper fuckin Whitlock and I ain't scared of shit. I broke from the kiss with a gasp for air as he did the same. I looked up into his pretty green eyes and my breathing hitched at the way he looked right now…the stars and moonlight dancing behind him…his swollen cherry lips parted and his cheeks pink and flushed as he breathed heavy…he was fuckin beautiful. I whispered, "Edward, I want…I need to…fuck it, can I have you, Edward?" A small moan flittered from his lips as his cheeks darkened even more and he grinned that crooked grin, "I'm all yours, baby. You don't have to ask, you can do whatever you want with me, Jay." I smiled as I remembered him saying those words to me once before…but this time, I was just gonna keep my mouth shut and be fuckin grateful. Thank you, Cuz…I'm gonna get laid…no…I'm gonna make love to my beautiful boy… I whispered, "I love you, Edward." He whispered back with a cocky little smirk, "I love you, Jasper. Now take me to bed."


My heart was racing like crazy but I chuckled as I wrapped my arms tight around him and cupped his ass, lifting him up as I stood. He gasped as his legs tightened around my waist, "Jesus, Jay…how the hell can you pick me up? I'm a big boy, ya know." I let him down to his feet but kept his body pulled flush with mine. I gave him that cocky smirk right back as I reached down and rubbed him through his pants, "I know you're a big boy, Eddie…" Then I grabbed his hand and reached down to have him rub my dick through my pants, "…but I'm a little bigger, darlin." He smirked, "Cocky fucker." I started walking him backwards to the bed as I leaned to his ear and whispered, "You know you love it." He smiled against my neck, "I really do." As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly and thought to myself… You got one shot at this, Jay…you better turn this boy out…


Chapter Thirty-Three Playlist: Muse-Undisclosed Desires, Muse-Supermassive Lifehouse-Everything, The Black Keys-Your Touch

Black

Hole,

Jasper's POV As the back of his knees hit the bed, I began lying him down slowly. My mind was racing with thoughts and worries about all the possible scenarios that could take place. Everything could be perfect and we could end up having one of the most incredible nights of our lives…or….something bad could happen and we could both be completely scarred from this. Edward couldn't always control the things that went on in his mind so it was up to me to help him get through this...that meant that I was gonna have to push all my own worries and doubts outta my head. I couldn't bear the thought of me scaring him or doing something stupid and fuckin this up. This had to be perfect…and you could bet your fuckin ass that I was gonna make sure it was beyond perfect. I held him tight as he scooted back on the bed and I followed hovering so close that his sweet breath was leaving goose bumps all over my skin. His bright green eyes were wide and anxious but most importantly…trusting. Edward was trusting me with all of him…mind, body, and soul. He was giving himself to me completely, in every way, and I knew that I would never betray his trust. I was gonna go slow…just like the first time we ever really loved on each other. We spent hours just kissing and moving our bodies against one another…it was a long, slow ride to the brink of ecstasy…and tonight was gonna be a long fuckin night. I just laid there for a moment, gazing down at my beautiful boy while running my fingers through his soft bronze hair. He looked a little…anxious, as his red lips parted and his pink tongue brushed across his bottom lip. His breathing was already coming out in shallow breaths and I was worried that maybe I was pushing him. I smiled, making sure that he saw my dimples cuz I knew he loved them, "Eddie, you know I love you, right?" He now smiled back as his eyes lit up, "I know you do, Jay. I love you too."


I continued running my fingers through his hair as I whispered, "And you know I would never be mad at you if ya ain't ready for this yet…you know we can wait, right?" He sighed as his velvet fingertips glided so softly along my spine that I shuddered, "I know we can wait, Jay…but I don't want to. I want you. I'm a little nervous but there's no doubt in my mind…that it's going to be incredible. If you could…just…" His cheeks turned red and he looked down. I gently pulled his chin back so that he could face me and whispered, "Tell me what you want, Edward." His long fingers covered mine as he took a deep breath and whispered, "I just don't want to do it from…um…from behind. Not yet, anyway." I smiled softly as I brought his hand to my lips and kissed the palm. Then I began kissing each fingertip as he sighed contentedly, "Do you really think that I could stand to make love to you and not look in your eyes?" The tension seemed to just melt away from him as he smiled, "Jay?" I continued gingerly kissing his satin fingertips, "Hmm?" He gently pulled his hand away and it joined his other one as he caressed my cheeks and whispered, "Come here." His fingers guided my lips back to his as those plump red lips brushed across mine. Soft, sweet kisses soon turned into deep, passionate ones as we clung to one another, drinking the other in. Our bodies were tangled as legs draped over hips and arms wrapped around backs…fingers were tangled in hair and squeezing various body parts…soft moans and deep grunts were mingled with breathless whispers of love and lust. We kissed forever as our bodies molded into one another. Eventually, I pulled away from the breath taking kiss and tried to slow my breathing down. I gave him one more chaste kiss before moving over to his ear, sliding my tongue along the shell and nipping my way down to his jaw. I whispered, "It's gonna be a long night, Eddie. Think you can stay awake?" He laughed softly as he craned his neck a bit for me to get better access to it, "I'll stay awake, Jay…I promise." I slid my body along his, relishing in the feel of his strong chest against mine, his hardened nipples brushing along my sensitive skin…every sensation heightened by the pure anticipation and desire of wanting my beautiful boy so badly.


I lifted my head and looked down at him through hooded, needful eyes as I whispered, "Good…cuz I plan on makin you cum for me over and over and over…again and again and again…" His lips puckered as his eyes rolled back with a soft moan. I smiled and couldn't help but raise my hand and brush my finger across his pretty cherry bottom lip, "You like that thought, Eddie?" His half lidded emerald eyes opened as he squirmed underneath me a bit, a faint blush dancing across his cheeks as he whispered, "Yes." He tender lips brushed across my fingertip as his tongue flicked across the calloused skin. His hands lifted and pulled mine to his lips as he began kissing and tasting each one of my rough fingertips…my body quivered from the simple touch of affection and as he whispered, his warm shallow breaths caused goose bumps to rise along my flesh again, "I have always loved these fingertips, Jay. One simple touch from these perfect, spell binding fingers could immediately calm me down. We were playing basketball the first time I felt them. We had only just begun talking and you were trying to teach me how to do a lay up, remember?" I could only nod as my lips parted slightly and my breathing became strained with each soft kiss or flick of his tongue across my fingertips. He smiled and whispered, "I tried to do it like you showed me but I tripped and fell flat on my face. I could feel my whole body burning in embarrassment…waiting for you to make fun of me. But instead, I felt your hand on my shoulder as you knelt down beside me and asked if I was okay. And then, you held out your hand to help me up. I was hesitant at first because I was so unsure of myself…but the moment your calloused fingers gripped onto mine…all of the doubt and insecurity just sort of…melted away." Now I smiled at the memory and brought my free hand up to brush my fingers across his cheek as I whispered, "I remember. We had just moved in that day and I had gotten into it with mama's boyfriend. I was lettin off steam when I saw you. You were trying to be sneaky as you looked over at me…but I could see those deep green eyes all the way from across the street. The very first thing I thought, was that green was my favorite color. I had never been so…interested in wantin to get to know somebody…but one look at you and I just…wanted to know you. When I pulled you up off the ground, Edward, and I felt your satin skin against mine…everything bad that happened that day just sort of…melted away." He whispered, "Do you believe in Fate, Jay?" I smiled and whispered, "I'm startin to. What about you?" His cheeks began to darken again with that beautiful blush as he smiled, "I believe that there is something out there…something greater than us that guides us to where we should be."


I ran my fingers down his jaw and whispered, "Do you believe in God, Edward?" He smiled that beautiful crooked smile as he brushed his fingers through my curls, "How could I possibly look at you, Jasper…my angel…and not believe in Heaven?" My heart was beating so loudly that I swore he could hear it…instead he trailed his fingers down my palm, my arm, and onto my chest where he laid them over my heart. "I love the way that my simple words can make your heart race, Jay." I smiled, "You're the only person that's ever made it beat like that, Eddie." He continued brushing his satin fingertips along my chest and down the center of my stomach until he reached the top of my sleep pants, where he lazily played with the waist band. His gentle touches left a trail of fire in their path, causing my body to shudder and my skin to, once again, break out in goose bumps. He smirked at the way he played my body, loving the reaction he could so easily get from me, "I love that I can make your whole body shudder with only a simple touch." My eyes quickly became hooded and needful again as I gazed down at those forest green ones and breathlessly whispered, "You make my body do things I never even dreamed of, Edward." Now, his fingers dug underneath the waist band and gripped my firm cock. I moaned and began rolling my hips to get more of his silky touch on my scorching skin. His fingers wrapped even tighter around me and started pulling the soft skin around my rigid cock up and down with a soft twist of his wrist. He whispered, "I love the way that your cock throbs and aches for my touch…my tongue…my body. Satin over steel…just like you. The most beautiful thing about you, Jay…is that you are tough and strong and rugged…but also sweet and tender and loving. The body of a soldier with the heart of a hopeless romantic." He ran his thumb across the slick tip and my eyes closed as another moan fell from my lips. I was really starting to get worked up so I noticed my southern slur was coming out thick as I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty words and you're gonna make me cum 'fore we ever get started." He chuckled and wrapped his free arm around my neck, pulling himself up to my ear. He pulled the lobe softly between his lips and tongue as he whispered, "Don't worry, cowboy…pretty words from a pretty boy's lips bring only the promise of pure, mind numbing ecstasy as I plan on making you cum for me


until well after the sun rises…over and over and over…again and again and again…" A soft breeze blew in from the still opened patio doors and I was thankful for the brisk wind cuz my body was heating up fast. My cock was pulsing and my heart was pounding. Hardly an inch of space between our bodies as his velvet fingers were quickly bringing me to the edge. His arm was still wrapped around my neck and my hands were pressed against the mattress as I hovered above him, slowly rocking my hips to help him pump my cock. He pulled away from my neck and brought his lips to mine in a searing kiss. His lips and tongue molded with mine, so closely that you hardly knew where one of us ended and the other began. He pulled away with a gasp for air but I quickly connected us once again, unable to control the need to taste his lips and mouth on mine. He smiled and whispered breathlessly into the kiss, "Can't…breathe…" I whispered back with a soft grunt, "Tough shit…breathe through me." He moaned and continued kissing me back with a newly found fervor. From the taste of his tongue, the breathless moans and whimpers, and the feel of his hand wrapped around my cock…I wasn't gonna last much longer. I moaned into his mouth, "Gonna…cum…" His hand quickly pulled away, leaving my cock throbbing painfully and missing the warmth of his hand. His lips pulled away from me too and I fuckin whimpered at the sudden loss of…him. He put his finger to my lips to stop me from cussin at him for stopping and whispered, "Cum inside me." Hell fuckin yeah I'm gonna cum inside you… I quickly pulled away with a grunt and yanked my pants down, throwing them off the bed. Then I grabbed his by the waist and drug them down his legs, dropping them to the floor with mine. I reached over and grabbed the lube, tossing it on the bed before pressing my body to his and attacking his lips again. He moaned into the kiss as his arms and legs wrapped around me, pushing our hard cocks together as I urgently moved my hips along his for the friction.


Motherfuck, Jay…slow the fuck down… Thankful that my mind was workin for me, I pulled away with a gasp and grabbed his arms, unwrapping them as I rolled over onto my back. We were both panting breathlessly as he rasped out, "Why did…you stop?" I pulled my hands through my curls as I willed my heart to slow down and my cock to settle the fuck down. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I turned and looked into his pretty green eyes that were staring at me, all confused and needy and shit. I let out a breath and couldn't help but start laughing. He smiled now as I pulled at my curls again, "Jesus, Eddie…you make me fuckin crazy…you know that?" That beautiful familiar blush came to his cheeks too as he started laughing along with me. He laid on his side and propped himself up on his elbow as his laughter slowly died down. Then he began plucking at the threads on the blanket as he looked down and sighed, "Um…hey, Jay?" I now mimicked his position and turned to face him. I ducked my head down so that I could see his face and smiled, "Yeah, baby?" He smiled again as his think…um…never mind."

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He turned his head away again and now I was getting a little concerned. I scooted closer and wrapped my arm around his waist, pulling his body flush with mine. We both let out small moans at the feeling of our hard cocks being pushed together again. But I pulled my attention from my dick and whispered, "Look at me, Edward." His jade eyes snapped to mine and I whispered again, "What is it?" He took a breath and chewed on his lip for a moment before speaking quietly, "Do you think that it will always be so…intense with us. I mean, we're always going to be this way, right? It's not like this because we're young or it's new…we'll always feel this way about each other, right?" And those were questions that I wish I could answer with one hundred percent conviction cuz I had thought of the same things a few times. So I just answered honestly, "I don't know the future, Edward…but I think…I think we just gotta have faith, y'know? The way I feel about you…it's intense and it's scary but I know without a doubt in my heart that it's real. I think


when two people connect like you and me have…when their souls are, like, bonded and shit…ain't no other way for it to feel but intense and passionate and crazy. I don't see that ever changing between us, Eddie. Romeo and Juliet…ain't got shit on us." He smiled now as he whispered, "So, you feel it too? The crazy, maddening pull that we have towards one another." I nuzzled my nose to his as the feeling of his body against mine so tightly was starting to drive me a little wild again, "Yeah, baby…I feel it." He brushed his soft lips against mine and whispered, "You know what I think is the most amazing thing about us?" I smiled as I brushed my lips across his and murmured, "Everything." He laughed softly and I chuckled too before asking, "What do you think the most amazing thing about us is, Edward?" His hand slid down between us and pulled my cock a little before letting it go and watching it bounce against my stomach. His crooked grin was in full force as he laughed softly, "I think it's amazing that we can lie here and talk for half an hour and our dicks are still rock hard." Now I started laughing at my silly boy as he kept playing with my dick. I finally rolled over on top of him and he wrapped his arms around my neck. I smiled down as he looked up at me with a sparkle in his pretty green eyes. I sighed as I shook my head, "Edward Anthony Cullen…what am I gonna do with you?" He looked at me for a moment before whispering, "Just love me, Jay." I leaned down and kissed his soft cherry lips and whispered, "I can do that, Eddie." This time, my mind and body were working together as I tried to keep the pace slowed down a bit. The kiss was soft and sweet…to begin with anyway. Our bodies rubbed slowly against each other as our lips and tongues slow danced. The room was warm and sticky from the heat it had held since the sun first shined that morning. We left the A/C off and just kept the patio doors open to let some of the brisk, night time air flow in. We were up several floors so there was nothing but the blackened sky and twinkly stars looking in. I'm not sure if it was the warm room or just the fire that we created when we were together…but soon our bodies were heated and covered in a slick sheen of sweat. I felt my curls becoming sticky and damp as they fell over my face and tickled his cheeks as we kissed.


Aching to feel more of my beautiful boy, I gently pulled away from his lips and moved them to his neck…licking and sucking his sweet, slightly salty skin. His back arched and he moaned softly as his fingers clenched my back before slowly exploring every inch of skin he could reach. I trailed soft, wet kisses along his neck and shoulder…slowly descending down his chest until I reached his nipples and took them into my mouth, sucking gently and flicking my tongue ring across them. His fingers worked their way up until they were locked in my damp curls. He was writhing beneath me already and moving his hips up so that his cock was gently sliding up and down my stomach with each motion. He moaned as I swirled that barbell around his hardened nipples, "Oh God that feels so good, Jay…" I smiled around it and continued my slow, deliberate torture. Moving slowly further down his body, I licked his slick skin along his stomach before sliding over to his hip bones. He groaned and his fingers tightened in my hair as I softly bit and licked them. His cock was sliding against my collarbone now and the need to take him in my mouth was driving me insane. I worked my way down until the pretty pink head of his cock brushed across my lips. I put both hands on his hips and held him still for me as I ran my tongue ring along the weeping slit. I hummed at the taste of my beautiful boy. His chest was heaving as I swirled it around the ridge now before wrapping my lips around it and sucking gently. He let out a long soft moan as his head moved from side to side since he couldn't move his body. Very slowly, I swallowed my way down, running that stud along the throbbing vein until I wet met with damp, bronze curls that tickled my nose. He was gripping my hands on his hips as his helpless pleas of, "More…please…faster…Oh God…can't take it…going to explode…please…please…please…Jay…fuck…please…", went unanswered cuz I wasn't giving in and sucking him off hard tonight…nope, I was gonna do this my way. I was gonna go slow and soft and do this right. His head was now thrashing at my leisurely, sensual assault on his cock and his toes were diggin into the mattress.


I knew he was getting close now so I released his cock from my mouth and trailed soft kisses and licks down it until I reached his balls. I began gently licking and sucking them while his fingers now clenched the sheet underneath him. He was still letting out a string of pleas, "No! I was so close…oh God that feels good…what the fuck are you doing to me…oh Jay…oh God, Jay…please, baby…please…" So, once again, I trailed down further until I flicked his tight hole with my tongue ring before swirling it around. I licked his entrance softly at first but then my fingers tightened on his hips to keep him steady as I started fucking him with my tongue. Now his hands were clenched in his own hair as he thrashed from side to side and he growled out a string of profanities, "Mother fuck! God damn it, Jay! Oh fuck yeah, baby! Please…oh God fuck please, Jay!" This went on for…awhile. He reached down and tried to stroke his own cock but I smacked his hand away. He would wait until I was ready for him to cum. Finally, I was slick and sticky from sweat, my mouth and tongue aching with the sweetest pain…I was ready to finally give him his release. I raised up quickly and buried his cock in my throat, swallowing as his fingers dug into my curls and held my head there while he screamed out, "Oh fuck yes! Yes, fuck! Oh…oh…I'm…I'm…J…Ja…Jas…Jas…Jasper fuck!" And his cum hit the back of my throat like an erupting volcano and I was very satisfied as I drank him down, cuz even though my dick was hurtin like a son of a bitch…I was pretty sure that Edward just had one the most intense orgasms of his life…and the night was just beginning. His body collapsed to the bed with heavy breaths, "Wow…you're the…shit, Jay." I chuckled as I crawled up the bed to him. Worried that he might fall asleep, I quickly pulled him up so that he straddled my lap as I sat back on my knees. He gasped from the sudden change in position and instantly threw his arms around my neck. The sudden gasp allowed me the opportunity to plunge my tongue into his mouth and ravish it again. He moaned into the kiss as his grip on me tightened and our slick bodies moved as one… an erratic, lustful sway as we just couldn't seem to get close enough to one another. His fingers crept up my spine and twisted in my damp curls, tugging hard and pulling my head back as he broke from my lips and began attacking my neck.


My fingers clenched his pretty ass and urged him to move his body against me. My dick was past the point of painful now…I had been hard for over an hour with no release and it was making me a little crazy. I was sure that I would leave the imprint of my hands on his ass as I gripped it tight and I knew that I needed to cum right fuckin now. And I couldn't help myself from bringing my fingers to his hair and pushing his head down with a raspy, breathless groan, "Suck my fuckin dick, Edward." He let out his own throaty moan as he dropped down to all fours and took me into his hot wet mouth with a fuckin vengeance. My head drooped back as I leaned back on one hand and fisted his sweaty bronze locks in the other. I pushed gently but still had enough coherency not to gag my beautiful boy, so I made sure he could pull up if he needed to. But he was taking it like a fuckin champ. He was rocking back and forth on his knees and I brought my eyes to his perfect, porcelain backside. His skin was creamy and pale with a few auburn freckles dancing across his shoulders and back. His ass was a nice deep rosy pink from my assault earlier and I could definitely see the red outlines of my fingers against his fair skin. His tongue was pushing against the underside of my cock as his cheeks hollowed and he sucked me deeply into the back of his throat. My body was already feeling things it had never felt before. This was way better than any fuckin high I ever had. My chest was heaving and every touch to my sensitive skin had me seeing stars. I hissed when I felt him tug at my balls, shots of fire and electricity surged through me as my whole body just felt like it contracted . My eyes rolled back and my mouth hung open as I groaned, "Fuck yeah, Eddie…" My hips bucked one more time before I was spilling everything I had down his eager little throat. My head fell back with a loud moan. Edward swallowed me down and when I finally lifted my eyes and looked down at him, I was fuckin lightheaded as he wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and growled, "Fuck yeah…" before coming up to his knees and plunging his tongue down my throat. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his body to mine, loving that I could feel his hard cock throbbing against my thigh as I tasted myself on his tongue. He pushed me down on my back and started rubbing himself against me erratically.


I could feel myself quickly becoming hard again as I flipped him over on his back and took control. He gasped and I moved my mouth to his neck and throat, licking and biting and sucking. Then I felt something roll against my leg and I glanced down to see the lube. HOLY SHIT! SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, JAY! YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCK YOUR BOY SENSELESS! I pulled away, gasping for air as I rolled off of him and onto my back. He leaned over on his side as he rasped out, "What? Why'd you stop?" I groaned and rubbed my hands along my face, "I'm fuckin this all up, Edward. I don't wanna fuck you…I wanna make love but…you just keep makin me all fuckin crazy…I'm just…I can't fuckin do this." I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and gently tug my hand away from my face. I couldn't bring myself to look in his pretty green eyes cuz I just felt fuckin ashamed that I had no control. "Look at me, Jay." Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes up to his. They were so fuckin pretty and he was so fuckin sweet and good…I didn't deserve him…I couldn't even make love to him right without turning it into something dirty…cuz that's what I was, dirty and used. He brought his hand up to my forehead and brushed back the damp, sweaty curls before putting his arm behind my back and pulling me to my side to face him. He smiled softly and whispered, "Jasper, making love doesn't have to be some stereotypical candlelight and slow music bullshit that you find in chick movies. Making love is simply the act of being with the one you love. Love should be passionate and filled with so much desire that you lose all control. I wouldn't want love if it wasn't that way. You can do this and you are going to be the most incredible lover on the face of this earth because I can feel your passion and desire for me with each kiss…with every touch of your fingers…pressing against my leg." He smirked now as he glanced down and saw my hard cock pressing against his thigh. I couldn't help but laugh a little and wondered how he was able to pull me from the brink so easily. Both of his arms now wrapped around me as he rolled onto his back, pulling me on top of him. He then brought his hands to my face and whispered, "Now…make love to me, Jay. Please." I was feeling a little overwhelmed looking down into those deep forest green eyes filled with so much love and trust that it made my head spin. He trusted me…he believed in me…he loved me…


I can do this…I can do this…Oh God please don't let me fuck this up… I brushed my finger down his cheek as my heart beat so hard that I could've swore that he could feel it. I whispered, "I love you, Edward." He smiled softly and whispered, "I love you too, Jasper." I took a deep breath and let it out. He laughed softly, "Relax, Jay. It's just you and me, baby. Here, let me help." He reached over and grabbed the lube bringing it to my hand. He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss before flipping open the top. He poured a little on my fingers and rubbed them, spreading it around. Then he wiped his hand on the sheet and I laughed. I was still nervous but he would help me through…just like I was gonna help him through. And at the end of this…maybe we will have done something really fuckin beautiful. I moved slowly to the side as I took his lips to mine, placing soft sweet butterfly kisses while staring into those beautiful hooded eyes. I guided my fingers down until they were between his legs. I whispered against his lips, "Open up a little, baby." His leg lifted up as he turned to his side slightly and hitched it up over mine. His chest was heaving now and I saw his Adam's apple move as he gulped. So, I began trailing soft gentle kisses against his chin…along his jaw…down to his neck and throat. Very lightly I brushed my tongue along his skin, between my parted lips as I continued the soft gentle kisses. He moaned softly as his head tilted. I began brushing my finger along his entrance gently, circling and teasing. Then I lifted my head and whispered, "Look at me." His eyes opened and stared into mine as I tenderly pushed my fingertip inside of him. His mouth opened with a small gasp as I started working my finger very slowly in and out of him. His skin was so hot pressed against me and surrounding my finger that I couldn't help but shiver at the thought of how it would feel when I was inside of him. I whispered, "You okay, baby?" He nodded a breathless, "Yeah."


After a few minutes, I brought another finger to his entrance and whispered, "Are you ready, darlin?" His hands clenched into the curls at the nape of my neck as he whispered, "I'm ready." Slowly, I pressed the second finger in, working them both together as I very carefully began stretching him. His leg tightened around the back of my thigh and his eyes squeezed shut. "Open your eyes, baby. Keep 'em on me." His eyes flashed open and he sucked in a sharp breath before nodding. I whispered, "Are you okay, Edward?" He nodded again and smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay." I took my time and continued with the two fingers until he was breathing better and starting to move a little against them. I brought the third finger to his entrance now and whispered, "We can stop anytime you wanna stop, Eddie. All ya gotta do is tell me to. Okay?" He nodded but his eyes were wide as they glanced briefly past me before locking back on mine again. I took a deep breath and whispered, "What do you see, baby?" He let out a breath and spoke quietly, "I…I…um…" I whispered, "Edward…I want you to tell me everything you see or hear or feel or even smell…you gotta tell me, baby, or I can't help you." His fingers tightened in my curls as he looked almost pained, "I don't want to tell you because I don't want you to stop." I smiled softly at him, "I'll only stop if you tell me too. We can work through everything else, okay?" This seemed to ease his mind a little as he let out another breath and smiled softly, "Okay. I, um…I saw a shadow, kind of, whipping by…but it only lasted a second." I nodded and whispered, "Try to keep your eyes on mine, darlin." He nodded and I continued fingering his entrance gently.


After a few minutes, I whispered, "Do you think you're ready for more?" I teased my third finger softly against his hole and he nodded, "Yeah, Jay. I'm ready." I smiled, "I love you." He smiled back, "I love you too." Carefully, I eased the third finger in and he squeezed his eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath. "Eyes on me, Eddie," I rasped out as my breathing was starting to get a little heavy by the feeling of him around my fingers and the intensity of how I felt about him willingly just giving himself to me. He opened his eyes and they were wide as his breathing hitched. I whispered, "Are you okay?" He let out a breath and in shaky breaths answered, "It feels okay…I…um…I'm starting to hear…whispers…very soft but I can hear them." I nodded, "If I keep talking while we do this, do ya think that'll help?" He nodded and tightened his arms around my neck, "Yes, please talk to me. I need to hear your voice. I need to smell your honey breath and feel it against my neck. Ramble if you have to…just please talk to me." I pulled him closer and gazed into his pretty green eyes. Then I just began rambling as I whispered, "When I was a little boy, I used to daydream a lot. I guess I've always been a hopeless romantic cuz I used to daydream of growin up one day and fallin in love. I'd dream of pretty green eyes cuz they were my favorite color and reminded me of the forest by my granny's house. I loved playin in that forest, surrounded by a canvas of rich greens. It was my refuge. Then when mama took me away, we drove all over the place but this one time, we drove through Kentucky in the fall. I was taken by the changing leaves. The gold and orange and bronze and auburn colors. The deep colors all dancing together reminded me of my version of the Sistine Chapel I had painted underneath my kitchen table. I fell in love with autumn, it became my favorite time of year. When I saw you, the first thing I noticed was your eyes…they were prettier than any lush forest I had ever seen. The second thing I noticed was your hair. It was the deepest auburn with splashes of bronze…it reminded me of autumn. I think I might have loved you from the first moment I saw you." He moaned softly as his eyes rolled back and his head lulled, "Oh Jay…oh God…" I whispered, "Eyes on me, Eddie."


He quickly raised them back to mine although they were no longer wide or anxious, now they were hooded and needful. I continued gently moving my fingers in and out of him, slowly stretching him for me as he now started carefully moving with them. I kissed his lips gently and continued rambling, "The first time I thought I might be fallin in love with you was when we were fourteen. It was the night of your piano recital. I remember standing off to the side of the stage and watching you play. I had never seen nothing more beautiful than you when you were lost in your music. But it wasn't just about the way your eyes closed and the way you swayed to the music…it was the small smile that played on your lips. Your real smiles…they were reserved for me and that was the first time I saw one that was completely for you and you alone. I was mesmerized by the way your fingers moved over the keys so easily and enchanted by the melody that poured out of you. That night…I dreamt of your fingers playing along my skin as easily as you played that piano. After that dream, I couldn't get the thoughts and images outta my mind." He was moving against my fingers now and moaning softly. I watched as his hand trailed down my side and to his hard cock. He wrapped his fingers around it and started pumping slowly to match my fingers. I curled my fingers a bit and he let out a long low moan, "Oh yeah, Jay…just like that, baby…" I smiled, "Ah…I found your magic spot." He smiled back through breathless moans and whimpers, "Yeah…don't stop…" I keep rubbing his magic spot with my fingers as he slowly jerks himself off…and I whisper, "Wasn't planning on stopping, babe." He starts shaking slightly in my arms as his head falls to my shoulder and he whimpers, "I'm…I'm going to…oh God, Jay…" And I feel his warm sticky wetness shooting onto our stomachs. I'm so hard that it's starting to hurt again. He pants for a minute before reaching over and grabbing the sheet to clean us up. And I'm wanting him now…but I gotta make sure he's okay first. I whisper as he stares into my eyes, shoulders still trembling slightly from his orgasm, "What do you see, Edward?" His gaze is intense through half lidded eyes and under long onyx lashes as he whispers, "Blue eyes that could rival the sky…golden curls that would make even the sun envious…all I see is you, Jay."


I slowly remove my fingers and lay him back as I pull myself above him. I brush my tongue along my bottom and whisper, "What do you hear?" He smiles at me with that beautiful crooked grin, "I hear your breaths becoming more and more shallow…I hear your southern drawl becoming deeper and deeper…I hear the sound our bodies make as they slide over one another…all I hear is you." I reach over and grab the lube, flip the top open and pour a little in my hand before I start stroking myself softly and his entrance to get us ready. I whisper with a smile of my own, "What do you smell?" He laughs softly and whispers, "I smell the scent of sex…musky and sweaty mingled with the honey of your breath…all I smell is you and it's mouthwatering." I lean back over him with one hand by his head and the other wrapped around my cock. I position it at his entrance and just rub it gently as I whisper, "What do you feel, Edward?" His breathing hitches and his arms wrap around my neck, "I feel the heat of our bodies from being so close…I feel the warmth of your breath washing over me…I feel the intensity and the passion of every touch from your fingertips…I feel you, Jasper." I take a deep breath and whisper, "You ready to feel all of me, Eddie?" He nods with a breathless, "I'm ready, Jay." I whisper, "I love you." He whispers back, "I love you too." One more deep breath and I begin slowly pushing the head of my cock inside of him. I squeeze my eyes shut for just a second as I gasp at the tight heat that now surrounds me. His breath hitches as his back arches slightly and his eyes roll back. I stay still for a moment before whispering, "You okay, babe?" He pants out, "Yeah…I'm okay, baby." Very slowly, to the point of agony, I begin rocking my hips…a little in…a little out…


Now I'm clenching the sheet between my fingers as both hands are now by his face and I'm struggling to go so slow cuz, seriously…there had been nothing in my entire life better than being inside of Edward Cullen. Both of our chests are heaving as it seems to take an eternity to get myself all the way inside. Once I feel his ass against my thighs, I moan softly as my eyes squeeze shut again, "Oh my God…feels…so…so…good, baby…" My body is trembling and I'm fighting to just stay coherent cuz I'm fuckin gone right now…stuck in some fuckin wonderful misty haze of bliss and ecstasy. And then I feel satin fingertips brush the sweaty curls from my forehead and I hear the soft breathless whisper, "Jay? Are you okay, baby?" My eyes snap open to see his hooded ones focused on mine. I'm still struggling as I answer, "Yeah…I should be…askin…you that, Eddie. You okay?" He nods slightly and whispers, "I'm okay, Jay…" before his fingers wrap themselves in my curls and pulls my lips to his. I let out the breath I was holding as he kissed me deep and passionate and fuckin incredible. His fingers wrapped in my curls as he started rocking his hips gently, letting me know that I could move. I laid down on my elbows as I wrapped my fingers in soft bronze locks. His legs wrapped around me with his feet locked together above my ass. I pulled out slowly about half way before pushing gently back in. My eyes rolled back as I broke from the kiss with a long moan. I laid my forehead on his shoulder with my eyes squeezed shut cuz this was even better than any of my fantasies. To say that I was feeling a little overwhelmed would be a huge fuckin understatement. Our bodies were pressed against each other so tightly that there was no air between us. I could feel his cock on my stomach, hardening once again as I continued moving in and out of him. He was moaning softly as his fingers would clench my curls or grip my shoulders. Once I finally got myself under a little control, so that I wouldn't cum just from fuckin lookin at him, I lifted my head again and looked at his face. His head was pushed back into the mattress and his eyes were shut. His mouth was open as his breathless moans empowered me. He looked like he was enjoying this. So I had to ask through ragged breaths, "Does it…feel good?"


His eyes snapped open as a breathtaking crooked grin came to his cherry lips, "I've never…felt anything…better than…this. You're fucking…incredible, Jay." Hells fuckin yeah… That gave me the little confidence boost that I needed as I couldn't help but smile, "Yeah?" He moaned and pulled my lips back down to his, "Fuck yeah." Now, I was feelin all cocky and shit so things started to heat up… The feeling of his hands all over me, his hard body beneath mine, and the tight heat surrounding me made my whole body feel like it was about to combust. This was how it was supposed to feel… I lifted up and slid one hand down his glistening body to his thigh, gently lifting his calf up onto my shoulder while his other leg stayed wrapped around me. I pulled all the way out and slid back in a little harder this time. This let me get a little deeper cuz Lord knows, I just couldn't get deep enough when it came to my beautiful boy. He moaned loudly, "Oh holy fuckin hell! Just like that, baby…fuck!" And I decided that Edward was right…making love didn't have to be all slow and shit…it just had to be about love. And fuck did I love this boy… My fingers gripped his hips as I started moving in and out of a little faster and a little harder. I moaned, "You like that, baby?" He groaned as his hand came down and wrapped around his hard cock, "Oh God yes, Jay! So fucking good…don't stop…don't stop…" He was pumping his cock now to match my thrusts. My head lulled back at the image of my cock buried deep inside my boy's ass while I he jerked himself off. The sound of our bodies slapping together and the feel of our sticky, sweaty skin sliding against each other was bringing me close fast. I brought my head back and stared down at my beautiful boy, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were squeezed shut as I felt him get even tighter around me before spilling onto his stomach with a grunt, "Oh fuck…how the hell…do I have…anything left?" And that's all it took until my orgasm came rushing through like a fuckin tidal wave. Two more deep pushes into Edward's tight ass and I was groaning as my


whole body clenched and I came hard fuckin…done with…you yet…Edward, fuck!"

as

hell,

"Motherfuckin…ain't

We were both panting as our chests heaved in and out. After I came, I still didn't get all the way soft so I just continued gently moving in and out of him as he moaned. The sight of his sexy stomach all covered in his cum was just too much for me and I felt myself becoming hard again. There are two fuckin great things about being 16...stamina and recovery time. I rasped out, "Are you okay?" He nodded with a deviant smirk on his face, "Yeah, I'm good…want to go again?" It's like he read my fuckin mind. I smile and leaned down over him, pressing my body to his and getting us even stickier from Eddie's man juice. I take his lips to mine and don't hold nothing back as I shove my tongue down his throat, which he takes very happily and does the same thing to me. I wrap my arms around his back and his arms are around my neck so I hold on tight and sit back on my calves, bringing him up with me. He gasps as he now sits on my lap, and more importantly, my dick. He looks down at me and blushes, "You want me to…um…ride you?" I smile and move my knees forward just a little until his back is against the wall, "Not yet…I was thinkin bout takin ya up against this wall right here. That okay with you?" He moans as my hands go to his ass to hold him as I start using the leverage from being on my knees to slowly move in and out of him, "Yeah…fuck yeah, Jay." I smile as I start pushing into him deeper and harder, "Fuck yeah, Eddie." His arms are wrapped tight around my shoulders as I'm making him bounce up and down on my cock. Our bodies are making those slapping sounds again along with a creak in the bed. His breaths are coming out in hard grunts and moans. I whisper, "Tell me if you need to stop, okay baby?"


He nods and rasps out, "I will…but I fucking…guarantee you…that I won't…want you to…stop. Ever." My arms and legs are aching but the burn they feel is fuckin amazing. I can feel Edward getting hard again and I can't help myself from pulling him away from the wall and turning to the side, throwing him down onto the mattress underneath me, our bodies never disconnecting. He moans loudly as his feet press against the headboard to bring himself up to meet my now wild thrusts in and out of his slick, hard body. We kiss again with lips and tongues and teeth as our fingers grab onto any available body part we can grab. We're both moaning and grunting and sweating and cursing cuz if he's feelin half as good as I'm feelin right now…Heaven can't compete with this shit right here. And then, he wraps one leg around me and pushes to roll me over on my back, never breaking our kiss as he sits on top of me now. I moan and my knees go up and my feet plant in the mattress to be able to fuck him back. I'm getting so fuckin deep inside him right now that my whole body is shaking with every thrust up being met with him riding me hard and fast. But I'm a dominant creature by nature, so eventually, I flip him back over on his back and take over. But, I soon find out that Eddie is developing some of my characteristics as he pushes me back again onto my back and takes over. The night goes on like this for a long fuckin time, until the sun is burning my eyes and the birds are singing outside. And I'm real fuckin close as he spills again between our stomachs, so I roll him back over and slam into him with a few wild hard strokes until I feel it…that cosmic explosion of pleasure and happiness. I cum hard with our lips together, mouths open and swallowing each other's moans. Then I collapse on top of him. Both of us covered in sweat, bodies aching, chests heaving. My arms and legs are like Jello but I manage to roll over off of him so I don't crush him. We take a few minutes to regain our breath. He looks over at me with bloodshot eyes and a beautiful crooked grin as he pants out, "You really thought…you wouldn't be…any good?"


I smile now as I rasp out, "So, it was…good then?" He laughs breathlessly as he holds out his fist for me to bump, "You're the…motherfucking man, Jay." I laugh now and bump his fist back. We laugh for a second and I'm just overcome with exhaustion so I whisper, "C'mere, baby." He raises an arm that falls limply back to the mattress, "Can't move." I laugh, "How bout I help ya?" I managed enough strength to reach over and wrap an arm around him as he reached back over me and, together, we pulled him close enough so his head could lay on my chest. He curled into my chest and took a deep breath, sleepily whispering, "I love you, Jay." I smile as my eyelids get impossibly heavy and whisper, "Mmm…love you too, Eddie." I don't know who fell asleep first this time.


Chapter Thirty-Four Eddie's POV My eyes fluttered open, then quickly shut again as the bright sunlight poured in through the open patio doors. I take a deep breath and crack them open again. The goofy, blissfully happy smile that only he can give me comes to my face as I watch the rays of light dance along his skin and melt into his golden curls. So I lay my chin back down on his sun kissed chest and just gaze happily at the most beautiful man I have ever seen. And I take the time to worship this ethereal creature lying partially underneath me. My eyes tip toe along every inch of his angelic body…ready to commit every scar, every freckle, every perfect imperfection, to memory…but then realizing that I already have. I sigh happily as the grin on my face threatens to crack my cheeks because I can't stop smiling…but then, why would I? I just had the most incredible…no, spiritual, earth shattering, awe-inspiring night of my life. Being with Jasper is like being in Heaven. My eyes close lazily as the memories from this morning play behind my closed lids. "Do you really think that I could stand to make love to you and not look in your eyes?" I don't even know why I was so worried that he might want it from behind…I should've known better, especially for our first time. Jay always loved looking into my eyes when we were being intimate. He could easily read everything there and always knew the right thing to say or do. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul…Jasper saw my soul better than anyone…I just hoped he could see his reflection back in my eyes because our souls were one. Aristotle said it best, 'Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.' Jay and I dwelled inside of each other, even when we were thousands of miles apart. Visions of darkened, golden curls, heavy and damp with sweat hung down from his perfect face…his eyes were a storm of blue, ever-changing and magnificent…his pink lips were swollen and needy of my taste.


Sticky, heated flesh burning up the sheets as our bodies clung together in our little spiritual rendezvous of love and lust and wanton desire. The sounds of skin against skin, glistening and steamy and desperate to get just a little closer. I most definitely believed in fate…how could I not? I am positive that there was a greater force working to bring me my angel…they say that God answers prayers in His own time…I just had to wait a few years for mine to be answered. It's still amazing to me…the effect I have on him. This beautiful, perfect creature shudders from my touch…aches for it…needs and desires it as badly as I desire him. Just amazing. "Shit, pretty boy…keep sayin them pretty words and you're gonna make me cum 'fore we ever get started." He thinks my words are pretty but he has the lover's tongue, sweet and sultry and causing the prickly rise of my heated flesh…among other things… Jasper rivals even Raphael the Archangel, thought to be the Patron Saint of Lovers. Raphael means, God's remedy because he banished the darkness from Tobin's eyes…Jasper has banished the darkness from mine. And who are we kidding…there is no better lover than Jay. His words are so loving and moving…his soft touches and gentle caresses convey every powerful emotion behind them…I can see everything in his baby blue eyes. I was heartbroken when he thought he had messed everything up by being too fast…I'm thankful that I was able to help him realize that uncontrollable passion and desire…only make for better love making. I mean, really, what's the point of making love to someone without that crazy, frenetic heat and passion that cause you to lose all control to your desires and obey the commands of your body and heart? I was so terrified when I saw the black shadow whip behind him against the full white moonlight. Not terrified of what I saw, but terrified that he would stop. I should've known that he'd make them go away. His fingers began their healing touch as his eyes held my own causing everything else to just fade away. I was anticipating pain but his searing fingertips didn't burn like Hell's fire…no, they burned me with passion and love and tenderness…only bringing pleasure so hot that I feared my body might burst into flames…but then, it would have most definitely been worth it. His sweet profession of when he first realized he was falling in love with me…easily drowned out the heinous whispers and laughter of the imaginary


demons who tried to take my happiness away…and Jay, once again, won the battle easily, emerging this time with no scars. By the time he actually began pushing himself inside of me…I was already lost in pleasure. I expected an excruciating pain, at least for a few minutes, until I was used to it…but I felt none. The only thing I felt was his hard, slick body sliding sensually against mine…the heat and honey of his breath washing over me as soft moans poured from his pink plump lips…and the overpowering feeling of my angel loving me from the inside out...filling me inside with his pure sticky honey. If the demons tried to make an appearance, they were out of luck because I was completely absorbed…encompassed…infused with nothing but Jasper. He filled every one of my senses to the brim until they were overflowing…nothing else could possibly get in. I felt the tremble in his body as he made love to me…I felt the catch in his breath and the pounding in his chest…I felt the overwhelming realization that this was really happening and I had to ask him if he was okay. I had never felt anything better. Being inside of Jasper is truly a gift from God…but Jasper being inside of me…it was like the doors of Heaven opened up and welcomed me home. Corny I know, but it was true. This was right for me. This was what I wanted. This was where I belonged now and forever. Not to say that I didn't want to be inside of him anymore because I most certainly do…it's just…after everything that happened to me, I never dreamed how good this could possibly feel. The reality was way better than the fantasy. And the wall…oh God, when he pushed me against the wall… After I walked in on him and Maria, before we were "together", occasionally my mind would drift and I would wonder what it would be like to be taken against the wall by Jasper Whitlock. Now I can understand why Maria was so angry when he dumped her…after experiencing that, I would be mad as hell too. The cold hard wall pressed against my back…his muscular hot chest pressed against my front…his strong thighs flexing as he squeezed my ass with those rough fingers and fucked me…ugh…I wonder how much longer he's going to sleep… I pressed my lips against his chest and kissed it softly as he began to stir. He mumbled in his sleep, "Mmm, Eddie…"


His cock started to stir now as well. I smiled as I continued covering his chest in soft wet kisses. His fingers instinctively reached for my hair and tangled themselves in it. He started moaning faintly until I licked his ribcage…then he started giggling. I found a ticklish spot! I licked it again earning another cute giggle from him. I looked up at him now as I gently ran my tongue along his ribcage while ghosting my fingers down his side. He couldn't decide if he wanted to moan or giggle. Now I started laughing as he started squirming underneath me and trying to push me away…but I was having none of that so I grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head. I was straddling him now as I leaned down into his neck and whispered, "Wake up, love." He groaned and bucked up into me which caused my cock to get a little stiffer. I bit my lip and took a breath to calm myself, "Wake up, love." He started shaking his head and mumbled, "Don't wanna…" I leaned down and rested my head on his shoulder, letting go of his hands as he wrapped his arms around me. I whispered, "Baby…honey…come on, lovekins…rise and shine…." He started giggling again as one eye opened and he looked at me, "Lovekins, huh?" Now I started laughing as he squeezed me tighter and whispered, "Mornin', darlin." I sighed happily in his arms, "Good morning, babe." It didn't escape my attention that our cocks were still hard and pressing against each other. A small moan escaped my lips as he started rolling his hips gently underneath mine. I lifted my head to look into those familiar hooded midnight eyes as he closed the short distance and pressed his lips to mine. It didn't take long for the kiss to deepen and soon I was meeting his hips with my own. His hand pulled away from my back and a moment later I broke the kiss panting as he smirked, holding the bottle of lube in his hand, "Wanna fuck?"


As much as I wanted to…the sharp pain in my backside made me bite my lip as I mumbled, "Um…I'm a little sore, Jay." Now he broke out into a full on dimpled grin as he grabbed my hand and placed the lube in it, "I'm not." I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged, "Eddie, did ya think that just cuz you bottomed for me now that I wouldn't wanna do it for you anymore?" I could feel my cheeks start to heat up as I smiled sheepishly, "Um…I guess I kind of did." He just shook his head and pulled me closer, "I'll always want you, Edward…any way I can get you. And I figured since we're already covered in jizz, we might as well start the mornin off right, before we shower." I smiled crookedly now as I flipped open the top and poured some lube on my hand. I took a few minutes to prepare him before I was finally finding the relief I so anxiously needed. I slowly pushed my length inside of him until I was fully seated. He moaned as I began rocking my hips gently, sliding in and out of his firm, tan ass… Tan? Why the hell is his ass so tan? I couldn't stop myself from asking in shallow breaths as I moved in and out of him, "Jay? Why is…your ass so…tan?" His eyes opened now and he laughed breathlessly, "Skinny dippin, baby…" I felt my jaw clench and my brows pull together as I growled, "Who the fuck…did you go skinny…dipping with?" He rolled his eyes, groaning and before I knew it, he had rolled me over onto my back as he began riding me, "Seriously, Edward? Ya…wanna have this…conversation now?" I gripped his hips as a long moan escaped my lips and I pushed my head back into the pillows…but yes, I most certainly did want to have this conversation now. I panted out, "Yes. Now. Who?" He laughed again as cousins…dipshit."

he

bounced up and

down

on

my

Oh…hadn't thought about that…wait, did he just call me a dipshit?

cock, "My


Now, I pushed him until he was on his back and I hovered above him. I pushed into him a little harder causing him to moan out now as his head pushed back into the pillow. "Did you just…call me a…dipshit?" He just moaned and nodded, "Yup…sure did." I smirked now as I slipped my arms underneath his back and panted out, "Oh, it's on…Whitlock." He laughed breathlessly, "Bring it…Cullen." I rocked back on my calves bringing him up to a sitting position on my lap, just like he did with me last night, causing him to gasp as his arms tightened around my neck. I smirked as he held on tight and I pushed him back against the headboard, "Don't…underestimate me…Jay." His head fell back against the headboard with a thud as I used both hands to grip the top of the wooden ledge behind him. I used it as leverage as I began giving it as good as I got it last night. His eyes were closed tightly as his mouth hung open muttering cuss words and his hands clenched my shoulders. But I knew it must've still felt good because his dick was wedged between us, throbbing and jerking and hard as steel. I was ramming him against the headboard and I hoped I wasn't hurting his back, but he didn't seem to mind as his hand snaked in between us and began pumping his hard shaft in rhythm to my thrusts. I was getting really close now and my eyes squeezed shut but the wonderful sounds of sex filled the air to bring me to the edge…his heavy breath littered with swears and grunts…the 'smack' of our bodies coming together hard and fast and in rapid succession…the 'thud' of the headboard slamming into the wall over and over again…even the pounding back from the other side of the wall screaming at us to "knock it off!" Jay grunted in ragged breaths, "Fuck that motherfucker…we're checkin out soon…don't fuckin stop, baby…" I opened my eyes and smiled, whispering breathlessly, "Wasn't planning on stopping, babe."


He smiled back and I took his lips to mine as we both soon leapt off the edge, him cumming hard and wet against my stomach and me following soon after him, deep inside his very tan ass. He was looking down at me with a wide dimpled grin and I smirked, "What's my motherfucking name, lovekins?" He laughed as he leaned down and kissed me, "Edward motherfuckin Cullen, baby." We were both giggling as we kissed a few times and finally broke away to begin our day. I was glad that we had at least started the morning off right because today was bound to be a difficult one for both of us. I was anxious to visit my mother's grave and say my final goodbye to her, yet I was more anxious about Jay visiting his mother. I loved seeing him like he was right now, smiling and carefree…the thought of what that woman was capable of doing to him, even behind those prison walls, made my stomach retch. We peeled ourselves from bed…and yes, we did have to peel ourselves because we were, in fact, covered in jizz, sticky and crusty and yep, it was pretty gross. We took a long time in the shower, taking the opportunity to wash each other gently and relish in the loving afterglow of our recent experiences. But my favorite part of the shower, was when we just held each other close and kissed as the hot water streamed down over us. We kissed forever, until I heard my cell phone ringing my dad's ring tone and figured I better grab it. I hopped out of the shower, dripping wet as I grabbed my phone. Jay turned off the water right as I answered it and breathed out, "Hey dad!" He laughed, "Good morning, son. How are my boys today?" I smiled as I felt Jasper standing behind me, towel drying my hair as I laughed, "Good, dad…we just got out of the shower…" Jasper busted out laughing and I stood there frozen, feeling my whole body turn red as I realized that I just told my dad that we just got out of the shower. I rolled my eyes when I heard my dad laughing on the other end, "Little Freudian slip there, son?" I chewed on my lip, "Um…yeah, sorry about that." He sighed and he was smiling, I could tell, "Don't worry about it…your mother and I just got out of the bath so…"


I groaned and ran my hand over my face, "Ugh! No, dad! Please, no talk about you and mom and the bath ever, ever again." His laughter started to die down as he chuckled, "Okay, okay…boy, this talk went south fast, huh?" Now I chuckled as I felt Jay wrap the towel around my waist for me. I turned my head slightly and mouthed 'Thanks' to which he just looked at me and smiled before kissing my forehead and turning to dry himself off. "So, anyway, I just wanted to check in with you boys. Are you still planning on going to the cemetery today, son?" I sighed now as I walked into the other room and sat down on the bed, "Um, yeah." He spoke quietly, "It will be okay, Edward. I hope you know that your mother would be very proud of you." I could feel my eyes starting to burn so I quickly wiped at them, "Yeah? I don't know, dad. I don't know how'd she feel about me." "Why on earth would she be anything other than proud of you, son? You're one of the most incredible people I've ever known." I wiped again at my eyes and took a deep breath, "What if…um…dad, it talks about homosexuality in the Bible. My mother was insanely religious. What if she…she may have hated me for it." He sighs as he speaks, "Edward, I'm not an overly religious man but I do believe in God. I don't have all of the answers but I can give you my opinion on the subject matter. We are all sinners, son, there is no way around that. The Bible also says that sin is sin, plain and simple. We are not to question Him but that doesn't mean we have to have all the answers. I simply believe that humans are in no place to judge others. I believe that homosexuality is a trait that someone is born with, just like the color of their eyes or hair. Therefore, I don't believe it to be a sin. I don't see how anyone could be judged badly for simply loving another human…for we are all God's children and a real Father could never shun His child." I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, "Do you really believe that, dad?" "Yes, I do, son." I smiled a little and let out a breath, "Thanks. He spoke again, "You're welcome, son. Now, are you boys still planning on visiting Linda today?"


I looked over at Jay who had just walked back in the room with the towel around his waist. "Um…yeah…" I watched as he opened the towel and brought it up to his hair, drying his golden curls. I remembered the first time I saw him naked…his calves and thighs were muscular but lean. I traced the lines with my eyes and my breathing hitched as I came to his ass. He had the perfect ass. I bit my lip to stifle a moan as he bent down and slid on a pair of white boxer briefs. He pulled them up over his strong tan calves…his solid sexy thighs…and over that perfect ass. I could see the faint tint of his tan skin through the white cotton and… "Edward! Quit looking at whatever you're looking at and pay attention!" My father's voice ringing in my ear brought me back to reality as I felt my whole body turn red. I completely forgot he was on the phone… "Um…I wasn't…um…shit, sorry, dad…" He laughed as he sighed out, "Language, young man. Now, let me speak to Jasper for a few minutes." "Okay, hang on." "Hey, son?" "Yeah, dad?" "I love you." "I love you too. Here's Jay." I handed the phone to Jay who was now just laughing at my precarious little situation earlier. His demeanor changed when he started talking to dad. I figured they were talking about his upcoming visit with Linda. I knew dad had been really worried about it. He nearly got on a plane to come and bring us home when he found out we had visited my childhood home but after a lot of talking, he finally


relented and just made me promise to call the Doc and talk about it. Our schedule was planned in the morning so I would wait and talk with him then. It wasn't much later until we were on the road, a bouquet of flowers in hand, as we made our way to the cemetery. Jasper was driving and he held my hand as we pulled in. He ran inside the mortuary and found out where her stone was located before we slowly began driving there. I looked around at all of the headstones and flowers and mourners. I had never been to a cemetery before. I wasn't sure if I wanted to ever come back to one. We came to a stop and Jasper turned off the car. He turned to me and brushed his fingertips along my cheek, "This is it, darlin." I nodded, my emotions starting to already bubble inside of me that I was scared to speak, thinking they might just bubble over. I couldn't will myself to move as I sat there, looking down and taking in deep breaths. His arms slipped around me and pulled me to him. His fingers brushed through my hair as he whispered, "You don't have to leave this car, Edward. You can say good bye right here, baby." I shook my head and took one more deep breath. It's my fault she's gone…I had to ask for her forgiveness…had to tell her I was sorry…had to make sure she knew she was worth more than a drive by farewell… I slowly pulled away and opened my door. I stepped on weary legs and felt the ground tremble beneath me… Hold it together, Edward… 'Your fault…all your fault…' All the air rushed out of me as I heard the haunting whispers in my ear. I shook my head to rid myself and was suddenly surrounded by warmth. His arm was around my waist and he pulled my arm around his shoulder as I felt my knees weaken again.


I looked up through burning eyes to see his truthful blue eyes staring back at me. He whispered, "One step at a time, baby…we'll go slow…" 'Weak…pathetic…always terrified…' I pulled away from him and stood my ground as I wiped away at my eyes furiously, "No! I can do this by myself! I'm not…weak!" He shoved his hands in his pockets, probably to keep himself from reaching out for me. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me so intensely that I soon found my eyes retreating to the ground to break free as the confidence started slowly seeping out of me. His voice was strong and confident as he spoke, "Raise them pretty green eyes and look at me, Edward." I lifted my gaze slowly and was met with a storm of blue and gray, "I don't know what they're telling you right now, Eddie…and frankly, I don't care cuz it's all bullshit. It's your subconscious makin you feel guilty cuz you blame yourself for breaking a damn glass and bein too scared to clean it up. You were six years old for fucks sake. You're not weak. What happened to your mama ain't your fault. Your father killed your mama cuz he was sick and ain't nothing you coulda done to change it. Your mama wouldn't want you carrying this burden, man. Go and talk to her. Tell her everything and get it all out and then let this shit go, baby, cuz that's all these demons are…guilt…fear…ya gotta let it go, sugar." How is he so incredibly smart? I took another breath and nodded as I reached my hand out to him. He took it and whispered, "I love you, Edward." I whispered back, "I love you too, Jasper. Thank you." He half smiled and we started walking over to the grave. When we reached the stone, my eyes burned hot with tears as I whispered her name, "Elizabeth Marie Masen." I bent down on one knee and laid the bouquet of flowers over her grave. Memories came running through my mind as I broke down. Of course, my angel was there this time to hold me as I cried. I lay crying on my bedroom floor. My whole body is freezing and shaking. Colored paper covers my floor in shreds as the world that I made for myself all came crumbling down. No more flowers.


No more stars. No more sun or moon. Nothingness surrounds me once again. The door creaks as it slowly opens and panic sets through me. I scurry quickly along my floor, backing up into a corner, even as the fresh red welts on my back burn and ache. I just know he's back to hurt me again. I'm relieved when I see her glistening eyes as she quickly rushes to me and scoops me up in her arms. I yelp as she holds me close and rocks me because my body is sore and tender. I want to tell her that I'm scared but not being allowed to speak very much, I can't find the words. So, I reach and grab my Bible, quickly turning to Luke 12:5. She reads it and I follow along in my mind. 'But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.' My mind screams at her to understand me. He will kill me…he will destroy me…us…I can feel it with everything I have, even at five years old. But she never could read my mind. She cried softly and continued rocking me in her lap. I relished the comfort of being in her arms, even if I knew it would soon pass. Sometimes the pain was almost worth it because sometimes, my mother would hold me and I wouldn't be alone. I fell asleep and woke up on my bed. I looked as my Bible laid open next to me and I read silently the passage that was underlined, 'Psalms 61:1, Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer.' I jumped from my bed and knelt down, folding my hands and bowing my head. I began praying silently, 'Dear God, please send me an angel…please save me…' "Sshh…I'm here, baby…I'm here…" His honey breath washes over me and I raise my sore eyes to look into his. They are a tempest of blue and midnight and I get lost in them for awhile until my sobs finally cease and my body stills.


We are both now sitting on the ground as he pulls my back to his chest and wraps his arms around me. His long legs are stretched out as my knees are pulled to my chin. I start speaking with her in my thoughts… Mom…I'm so sorry that I messed up your plans… But then I remember that I am allowed to speak now so I take a breath and just start talking. "Please forgive me, mom. We could've escaped…you should still be here and I feel like it's my fault that you're not. I messed up everything. I hate…I hate that your final breath…was ended by me. If I could've fought back…but I was so scared…" I rambled for a long time as I just spoke aloud every thought that came into my mind. I apologized and asked for forgiveness. I told her everything I had wanted to tell her back then of how afraid I was and how I knew something really bad was going to happen. Once I started speaking about my entire childhood, I began to question things… "Why did you wait so long to leave? Why didn't you try to stop him from hurting me all those times? You were just as scared as I was, right? But…but I was the child…why didn't you protect me?" Jasper stayed silent and just held onto me with his face buried into my shoulder from behind me. Accepting that I would never get the answers I sought, I moved on and told her about Carlisle and Esme. I told her about the bullying and psychiatric hospitals…the cutting and the demons. I told her about Jasper. Finally, I wanted to talk to her about one more thing but didn't want Jay there so that I didn't inadvertently hurt his feelings. "Baby? Um…would you mind giving me a few minutes alone?" He kissed my cheek and whispered, "Not at all, darlin. I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette and wait by the car." I whispered my thanks as he stood and laid the single rose he had on her grave. He whispered, "I promise I'll always take care of him, Mrs. Masen…and I'll always love him with everything I have and cherish every moment I have with him. I hope you would've liked me cuz I'm gonna marry your son and I know how important it would be for him to have your approval. So, I hope you approve."


He turned and winked at me as he walked away which made me smile. Once I was sure he couldn't hear me, I sighed and closed my eyes as I began whispering, "I'm in love, mom. I'm not sure what you'd think about it but…I just can't…I can't believe that God didn't send him to me. I can't believe that God would hate me for loving him. He is everything I ever wanted and so much more than I realized I needed. I can tell you for certain that if he hadn't found me…I would not be here. If not for him…I would've ended my life by now…I'm certain of it…or I would still be locked up in a crazy house. He not only protected me physically from my tormentors…he protected my sanity when I was losing it…he still does. And if I'm wrong about God's feelings towards us…then I will face my judgment with a happy heart because an eternity in Hell…is well worth one lifetime with him loving me." I took a breath and glanced over at him. The sun was high in the sky sending golden rays of light that only made his beauty shine that much brighter. He was leaning against the car, taking a drag from his cigarette and absent mindedly running his fingers through his honey curls. Perfection. I smiled as I turned back and kept talking, "He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, mom. And he's so good to me. The thing with Jay…he knows what I'm thinking without me having to say a word. I tried so hard to communicate with you but…I'm not sure if you ever understood what was going on inside my head. He does. My life really didn't begin until him. Before him, I was alive but not living. He makes me want to get out of bed in the morning…or stay in bed…jeez, um…never mind. Anyway, I just thought you should know that I'm happier than I ever dreamed. I wanted you to know that my adopted parents are simply amazing and I have incredible friends. I hope that you're happy for me…" "Edward Masen?" I heard the whisper of my name as I turned my head, certain that my mind was playing tricks on me again. However when I looked up and saw bright emerald eyes staring into mine…I realized that my demons were always faceless…this one looked very much like me, bronze hair and all. I gasped as a wave of panic set in and I started backing up along the ground to get away. He took a step forward as I shook my head, unable to form any words as my heart felt like it might beat out of my chest. I was screaming in my head for Jasper and just like I told my mother…he was there.


I watched as he jumped between me and the green eyed man, shoving him back as he growled, "Back the fuck up! Don't take another fuckin step towards him!" The man's eyes went wide as he huffed, "Who the hell are you?" I was sucking in air, trying to take in the sight before me as Jay stood protectively in front of me. His fists were balled up as he sneered, "I'm the motherfucker who's gonna make sure you never leave this god damn place if you come close to Edward again." I scrambled to my feet and stood behind Jasper, peeking over his shoulder. I knew I needed to deal with this but quite frankly, I liked feeling safe behind Jay. I knew he would protect me from anything. He was scared of nothing. Unlike my mother and I. I took a breath and spoke from behind him, staring curiously but cautiously into the stranger's familiar eyes, "Who are you?" He sighed as he looked past Jasper at me, "I'm your Uncle Tony, Edward. You got your middle name from me. I could recognize you anywhere." I shook my head and whispered, "No. I don't remember you." My breathing hitched as he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. I heard Jasper's breathing hitch, as well. "I was there…at the hospital after the…incident. Before that, the last time I had seen you, you were three." My eyes were on fire as I pulled all of memories together but came up with nothing, "I don't…why would my parents have never said anything? They never mentioned you." His eyes bore into mine as he pulled his hand through his hair, "We had a falling out. I moved away and we lost touch." I carefully pulled away from Jasper and stood beside him, "Why are you here?" I finally noticed the flowers in his hand as he glanced down at my mother's grave. "Your mother…her birthday was a few weeks ago and I missed it. I always bring her flowers." So many questions were running through my mind, I didn't know where to begin.


"I don't understand. You said you moved away but you bring my mom flowers? Why?" He nodded, "I did move away, for college. I came back after that day. I bring your mother flowers because she was my friend…my family and I failed her. She has no other family. And after you were gone, I had no other family." My mind was completely twisted. I couldn't think straight as I just shook my head and whispered, "I just…I don't understand." He took another step forward and Jasper did the same thing, standing toe to toe with him. "I fuckin warned you once. I won't do it again. Step back." Tony's eyes locked on mine for a moment before he gulped and retreated a few steps. As sweet and wonderful as my Jay was, if you were on his bad side, I could see how terrifying he would be. I put my hand on Jay's shoulder and whispered, "It's okay, Jay. I'm okay." His eyes never left the man in front of him. I watched as Tony's eyes began to glisten and he turned to my mother's grave. Bending down and lying the flowers over top the freshly cut grass, he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Liz. I miss you every day and not a moment goes by that I don't regret the things I've done. I will suffer and repent for my sins every moment of every day. I love you, Lizzie." He stood back up, shoulders slumped and looking utterly defeated. I really took in his appearance for a moment and reveled in the notion that I had an uncle…a blood relative…my father's brother. He was tall, around 6'1, it didn't appear that he ate well because he was very thin, his emerald eyes looked tired with dark purple bruises underneath from lack of sleep, he was probably in his late thirties, around Carlisle's age, although the wrinkles around his eyes made him look a little older. His auburn hair was unkempt and his chin was covered in scruff. My eyes traveled to his arms where I noted the dark purple bruises in the crevices of his elbows, where his flannel shirt barely hid them. He was an addict. He looked down at the ground and sighed, "I'm sorry, Edward. I saw you and I just knew that I should've turned around and came back later but before I knew it…I had walked up and said your name. It would be better if you just pretended this never happened. I'm sorry."


He turned and started to walk away when my heart strings just began to tug fiercely. "Wait!" Jasper's head turned to me in shock as I walked past him. Tony stopped and turned back, "Edward…forget that I exist. I promise that it will be better for you in the long run." I shook my head as Jasper came up beside me again and placed his hand on my back, keeping me calm enough to speak again. "I can't just pretend that you don't exist. Please. I have so many questions…things that you may be able to answer…" He pinched the bridge of his nose again and shook his head, "I can't. I can't…talk about it. Just let me walk away." He turned again and started to do just that. I couldn't stop myself now as I mimicked him and pinched the bridge of my nose as my eyes squeezed shut, "Please Uncle Tony. If you ever loved me at all, even if for just a moment…please talk to me." He stopped and stood there for a moment, his shoulders shaking as his head hung low. Eventually he turned back around and gave me a half hearted crooked smile, "When you were three, you couldn't say my name. You called me Unky Ony." I took a breath and spoke again, "Please. I saw a diner just a couple of blocks from here. Let me buy you lunch and we'll talk. Did you drive here?" He nodded, "Um…yeah. I need to make a quick stop and then I'll meet you there." He needed his fix…my heart ached for him… I nodded back and told him where it was. I just prayed that he would show up. When we got in the car, Jay turned to me and sighed, "Are you sure this is a good idea, Edward? The guy's a junkie. Did you see his track marks?" I nodded as I started the car and began my way out of the cemetery, "Yeah, I know. And I know what he's doing right now but I'm not going to judge him for it, Jay. You know as well as anyone that the things we remember as children aren't necessarily the truth. I just need to know the truth about everything. He's the only person I have to find that out. I don't know if this is a good idea, but I'm doing it anyway."


He just nodded and reached his hand over, lacing his fingers with mine as he whispered, "Fair enough, babe." We rode in silence to the diner and opted for an outside table since the weather was nice and Jay could smoke. I played nervously with my cup of sweet tea as Jasper seemed to be surveying everything around us. We were both tense and cautious but I was glad that he didn't fight me on this. He understood, just like he always does. After about a half hour, I was feeling disheartened and was certain that he wouldn't show. I started to say that we should just leave until Jay leaned forward and sighed, "Here he comes, Eddie." I let out a breath as he pulled out a chair across from us and sat down. He lit up a cigarette and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for making you wait so long." I just smiled and handed him a menu, "It's okay. Order whatever you like." He smiled back sheepishly and began studying it. The waitress came over and took our order, then left us alone. We sat there for a moment in awkward silence until he finally cleared his throat and whispered, "What did you want to know?" I spoke quietly, "Everything. Just start at the beginning." He nodded and took a drag from his cigarette, his hands fidgeting nervously on top of the table. "I'm four years younger than Edward was. Growing up, we were as close as two brothers could be. He always looked out for me…he was very protective. I looked up to him. Our father was a devout Catholic and we spent all of our free time in church. We were both altar boys. But our father…he was…difficult." He sighed and hung his head down as he closed his eyes, "He was abusive. He beat us daily for some insignificant thing…he'd always find a reason. Mother was just…there. She was beaten too and she just gave up. Even when he started on us, she would never stand up for us…she always took his side." "I was five when I noticed how my big brother was changing. His spirit was slowly being broken. When we would come home from church, he would just…sit in the shower for hours until our mother dragged him out, freezing and shaking. One night I heard my father screaming and I ran out of my room to see him beating Edward with a leather belt until his back was torn open. Edward had just confessed that some members of the clergy had been molesting him. Of course, father didn't believe him. He called him an evil, wicked child."


Slowly, pieces of the puzzle began to come together. And I was having a difficult time because I felt pity and sadness for the child my father once was…but anger and hate for the man he grew up to be. It was like walking a tight rope, swaying easily to both sides but trying your hardest not to fall off in either direction. He stubbed out his cigarette and quickly lit another. Jasper's hand was on my knee underneath the table, keeping it from shaking. Tony took a breath and continued, "He was only nine at the time. I didn't understand what they were talking about…until a year later when it began happening to me. I knew better than to say anything and Edward knew it was happening to me now. He tried his best to shield me…take as much of the abuse as he could handle to keep it…easier on me. Raised the way we were…we were socially awkward and never really had any friends, until we met your mother. She began coming to the church when she was nine. Edward was ten. She never came with anyone…she was always alone." "We all fell into an easy friendship because she was as awkward as we were. We were…the three muskateers. I followed them everywhere they went and they never turned me away, even if I was so much younger than them. We found out that the reason she was always alone was because she lived in a Children's Home and would always sneak away. She lost her parents to a house fire when she was just an infant. She told us of the abuse she endured at the home and we told her of ours. We vowed each other to secrecy and we were there for one another when no one else was." The waitress brought out our food as we all tried to inconspicuously hide our glistening eyes. It was no surprise when we each pushed our plates to the side and leaned closer to hear the rest. He wiped his eyes and sniffled, looking completely broken and my heart ached. "When he was 17, I got sick with pneumonia. He fought against my father so that he could skip church and stay with me for the night. Eventually, father relented and he stayed. Liz showed up shortly after they left. Our parents never returned home that night. They were both robbed and murdered on their way home from church services. And as horrible as it may sound…we were all truly happy for the first time. We were free. It was only natural that Edward and Liz begin dating after that. She ran away from the Children's Home and lived with us." "Six months later was the first time I saw him hit her. She forgave him, of course. But I watched for the next two years as he just got worse and worse. I would try to step in and we would fight. He was becoming someone I didn't even recognize. Our grandfather was schizophrenic…I should've noticed the signs but I was only thirteen when they began…I just didn't realize. You were born when he was nineteen. They got married while she was pregnant with you. One particular beating caused her to have you prematurely. You were only four


pounds when you were born and stayed in the hospital for nearly six months until you could come home." Jasper groaned and ran his hands over his face. He had a particular hatred for men that hit women. He always said it was because he had seen his mom get beaten so many times. Tony's eyes were clouded now and I could tell that he was lost in memories. I didn't envy him. After a moment, he took a sip of his Coke and lit another cigarette. Jasper did the same as we took a minute to steel ourselves for the rest of the story. He began again a few moments later, "When they brought you home, he had become extremely paranoid. He was so afraid of anything bad happening to you…he wanted to keep you locked away from the outside world…like a prisoner. So, while he worked, I took you outside. Your mother was terrified of him finding out but I didn't care. From the moment I saw you…I just loved you. But when he was home, no one was allowed to touch you or get near you…even breath on you for fear that something might happen to you. As school got harder for me and I focused so intently on a way out…I had less and less time for you. You couldn't walk until you were almost two years old. You could barely speak at all. You were two and a half the first time you said 'No' to him. He back handed you." Jasper muttered, "Son of a bitch," under his breath and took a drag from his cigarette. Then he looked up and scowled, "Why didn't you do anything?" Tony's hands were shaking as he spoke, "I tried…I begged Liz to leave him…" Jasper rolled his eyes as he spat back, "That's fuckin bullshit! You woulda been seventeen years old…you tellin me that you just stood there and didn't do a god damn thing! You know it's wrong to beat a child, right? What the fuck was wrong with you?" I put my hand on Jasper's arm and took a breath, "Calm down, Jay." He groaned and crossed his arms across his chest as he sat back in the chair and mumbled to himself, "It's fuckin people like you that make me sick…just fuckin turn the other way when you see a kid…a fuckin baby bein abused. Fuckin spineless pussy…" Tony was shaking now as he started to stand, "He's right…I should go…" I shook my head, "Please don't! Just…" Now Jasper stood and glared at him, "Ya gonna fuckin run away from him again, Uncle Tony? I don't think so. Sit your ass back down and answer his fuckin questions."


I stood and grabbed his arm again, "Jay, please calm down." Tony looked like he was going to throw up as he stammered, "I-I'm going to go to the bathroom." Jasper smirked as he walked over and threw his arm around his shoulder, "Good. I need to go too. We can have a little chat. Edward, we'll be right back." I started to protest but he threw me a look that stopped me and said again, "Edward…we'll be right back." I nodded and sat back down. My stomach was in knots and my hands were trembling as I waited for their return. I was petrified that Jasper was going to kick his ass and we'd have to leave quickly. A few minutes later they returned and Tony looked scared but not physically harmed so I let out a breath I had been holding when they sat down. Jay leaned back and lit another cigarette. Then he looked over at Tony, "Finish the story." Tony nodded nervously and continued, "Just a few months later, I graduated and went to college in Ohio. After my first semester, I came back to visit. By that point, you wouldn't speak at all. I begged Liz again to leave. I told her that I'd quit school and get a job to take care of both of you. But…she just wouldn't leave. She had some fierce sense of loyalty to my brother but I tried to explain that the man she was married to…was not the same boy we had grown up with. Your father overhead us talking and he was furious. He kicked me out of the house and told me to never contact either of you again. So I left." Jasper was disgusted, I could tell by the look on his face. I didn't know how to feel. "After that, I didn't have any family left. I threw myself into school but every few months, I would get a call from your mother. She would tell me that she was ready to leave and then by the end of the conversation, she would change her mind. She called me the very last day. She said she was ready and I made flight arrangements to be there late that night so that I could meet you at the airport and take you both home with me. Of course, by the end of the conversation, she had changed her mind again." "What? She wasn't really going to leave him that night?" My mind was racing now. He sighed, "No, Edward…she wasn't going to leave. Your mother was a classic victim of abuse. She would never leave him, no matter what he did. But I couldn't shake the feeling I had so I got on that plane and went. I took a cab to


the house and arrived after midnight. I saw that the car was gone and the kitchen door was standing open. I walked in and saw the blood…" He held his hand over his face now as he took deep breaths. His voice was shaking as he continued, "I called the police and I stayed and waited…time had never passed so slowly. I got the call three days later saying that they had found you. The cops told me that a couple of hunters saw what…what he was doing and…they killed him. They found your mother's body in the trunk. I had to go and identify both my brother and my only friend…my sister." I shook my head, "Wait a minute…you said it was three days but it was only one…" He sighed and shook his head, "No, Edward…it was three days. You had gone catatonic and probably only remember the first day. I pulled out of school and stayed at the hospital with you for three months. But when you finally started to come back…just one look at me would send you into a state of panic. I look too much like my brother and it only made it worse for you. So, I signed all of the paperwork necessary for you to become a ward of the state. I had been so selfish…it seemed like cutting you free from our family was the least selfish thing I could do for you at that point. I wanted you to have a chance at a happy life. So, tell me, Edward…are you happy?" I looked over at Jay as he reached out for my hand, "Yes, I'm very happy. I was adopted by two wonderful people who love me as if I was their own…I have really good friends who stand by me come Hell or high water…I have Jay. I'm very, very happy." Jay smiled at me and I smiled back. I turned and looked at my Uncle who had a small smile on his face. He whispered, "I finally did something right. I can tell you, Edward, that not a day goes by that I don't wish I would've done something differently. I wish so much that I would've been stronger for you and your mother. I wish I would've gotten someone else involved. But I can't change the past…I will suffer the consequences of my inactions for the rest of my days." I sighed as I looked at the broken shell of a man before me. For some reason, I didn't have it in my heart to walk away, as he had done. I whispered, "Tony? My dad is a doctor. If I spoke with him…maybe we could get you some help? Maybe rehab and therapy?" He shook his head and a small sad smile was on his face as he whispered, "You can't help me…" I cut him off, "But maybe we could…it's not too late…"


He stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked into my eyes and whispered, "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, Edward. If I should ever run across you again…I'll turn and walk away because that's the best thing I can do for you. Take care of yourself, son." He turned and walked away. I started to call out to him when Jay's hand squeezed my shoulder and he whispered, "Just let him walk away, Edward." He pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table as I watched the unruly bronze hair turn the corner and disappear. Jay wrapped his arms around me and just held me for a minute as I processed everything that I heard. A few minutes later, we were on the highway, heading for Indiana so that Jay could talk with his mom. And even after hearing the whole story…I felt better…somewhat lighter. Jasper was driving as I smiled over at him, "It wasn't my fault, Jay. She was never going to leave him. I didn't ruin anything. It wasn't my fault." He smiled back, "It wasn't your fault, Eddie. So now you have no reason to hold onto that guilt or that fear. You can lay your demons to rest now, baby." I reached over and laced my fingers with his free hand, lying my head back on the head rest. After a few minutes, I felt my eyes getting sleepy. It had already been an emotional day and it was only half over. We still had Jay's mother to deal with. I just hoped that he would walk away from this unscathed. I hoped he got the answers he needed. I hoped that she didn't fuck this up and he could finally get a little peace. I felt his fingers brush through my hair and the last thing I remembered was his soft voice, "Get some rest, baby. Sweet dreams, darlin." And for the first time in a long time, my dreams were sweet.


Chapter Thirty-Five Playlist: Dan Auerbach (from The Black Keys) - Whispered Words (Pretty Lies), The Black Keys - Things Ain't Like They Used To Be. Jay's POV I ran my fingers through my beautiful boy's hair until I heard his soft snores. I sighed and pulled out a cigarette as we flew down the highway. I hated lying to Edward and I knew that he hated me keeping things from him to protect him, but this time, I felt like I really had no other choice if he was ever gonna get any peace. I quickly shut and locked the bathroom door behind myself as I followed Tony inside. He gulped as he backed up and I closed the distance between us as I had him pinned against the wall. He stammered, "W-who the h-hell are you?" I looked into his eyes and sneered, "As far as you're concerned, I'm the judge, jury, and the fuckin executioner. What should matter to you right now, is that I will protect that fuckin boy with my life. Ya think that I didn't know you were gonna run again? I'm tryin my best to be fuckin patient with you, Tony, but patience is a god damn virtue I don't have. I wanna know what happened that night. He said she was plannin on leavin and since you were the only other person she knew, it only makes sense that she called you. Did she?" His eyes were wide and his whole body was shaking as he began sobbing, "She did. She called every few months saying that she wanted to leave but she would always back out of it. But she didn't this time. She was ready to leave him. She called me the week before but…I…I didn't have the m-money to buy the plane tickets until the week I got paid. It's my fault…if I would've done something to help her leave when she asked, she would still be here. He wouldn't have lost his mother…I wouldn't have lost my friend or my brother. I don't know what happened to push him off the edge that night but I was on a plane back here when it happened. It's all my fault." I'm not a complete asshole so part of me felt a little bad for the guy, but that didn't change the fact that this bastard sat by and did nothing while Edward was being abused. And that fact led to the night that haunted my baby boy all of his fuckin life. So forgive me if I was a little spiteful. He was a fuckin spineless pussy in my book and that wasn't gonna change. "Ya wanna know what happened that night? Let me tell you cuz I know the whole fuckin story by heart, Edward still has nightmares almost every fuckin night and ya know what happens? He ends up sittin in the god damn shower for hours until he calms down. So, let me share what happened to your fuckin nephew. He knew his mama was plannin on leavin that night. She had a suitcase hidden under the sink. Edward accidentaly broke a glass at the dinner


table and was too scared to get the bleach from underneath the counter to clean it up. When your brother got it…he saw the suitcase." "So, he took a kitchen knife and gutted Lizzie right in front of him." He ran into the stall and started throwing up. I continued, "Wait, I ain't done yet, Uncle Tony. Then your brother forced the knife into Edward's hand and made him 'release his mama's demons.' Yeah, that's right, your fuckin nutcase brother was arguing with demons in front of Edward and made your nephew deliver the cuts that ended his mama's life. Once she was dead, he made Edward clean it up with bleach. And then, then he threw him in the god damn trunk of his car along with his mama's dead body. But that ain't all, you fuckin prick, then he beat the shit out of him before telling him how much he loved him while he molested and raped him over and over again. Ya think your story is fucked up? Edward deals with this fuckin shit every god damn day of his life and he ain't a fuckin junkie like you. He fuckin fights through it. He's the strongest person I've ever fuckin known and right now, you got the power to really fuckin help him and by damn, that's what you're gonna fuckin do." He pulled his head outta the toilet and sat against the stall. He was still shaking and was a fuckin mess. He sniffled, "I'll tell him the truth…it was my fault…" I shook my head and crouched down, "What is it with you fuckin, Masen's? It wasn't your fault and it wasn't Edward's fault. You didn't abuse your brother, you didn't make Liz take it, you didn't make him schizophrenic, you didn't do any of it…but you did sit by and knowingly let your nephew be abused. Everythin else ain't your fault. And I don't think telling Eddie the truth is gonna help him cuz he'll still feel like if he didn't break that glass then things would be different." He pulled his knees up to his chin and buried his face, "What should I do? Tell me what to say and I'll say it." I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, "I want you to lie. I want you to tell him that his mama had no intention of leavin…that she backed out of it again like always." His voice broke as he sobbed into his knees, "I hate lying to him…" I put my hand on his shoulder, "Edward's finally startin to move on with his life…he's been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, he's cut himself, he's been havin visions of demons like his daddy…the one thing that this all comes from is his guilt and fear that, in some way, this shit was his fault. If you love him…you'll lie to him so that he can lay his demons to rest. I suggest you try to do the same. It wasn't your fault." He sniffled and shook his head, "It is my fault, nothing will change that. I'll lie to Edward if you think it will help him…I just don't want to hurt him anymore than I already have. But I…I…"


He was shaking uncontrollably now as he began looking around and scratching at his arm. I stood up and shut the bathroom stall cuz I knew he needed his fix to get through this, without it, he would be a shaking, sniveling mess, "Go ahead, Tony…" He cried as he shot himself up and I waited with my back against the bathroom stall door. When he was done, he opened the door and walked to the sink to splash some water on his face. When he turned around I pulled out my wallet and handed him a couple hundred bucks. He looked shocked as he whispered, "Why?" I shrugged, "You need help, Tony." His fingers glided over the money, "But…you know I'll just shoot it up…" I sighed, "Yeah, probably…but I can't say that if I had to walk in your shoes, I wouldn't do the same. Just take it, I don't need it and if what you're about to do can help Edward like how I think it's gonna help him, then you deserve a little peace…even if it's only knowin where your next fix comes from." He furrowed his brows as he took the money and shoved it into his pocket. As he started to open up the door, I pushed it shut and leaned against it, "Just one more thing, Tony…I'm a nice guy and all…but if you fuck this up…I will fuck you up…got it?" He gulped and nodded vehemently before I opened the door, smiling. So, yeah, I had Tony lie to Edward. And from the way he had kept saying that it 'wasn't his fault' over and over again, I think I did the right thing. I wish he could see the truth himself without the lie…but he just ain't there yet. So, this was just one of those little things that I would take to my grave, and I didn't feel an ounce of shame for it cuz the truth is…sometimes it's better to believe the lie. Which led me back to my current situation, on my way to see my mama. I didn't even have a clue if I'd be able to see her…if she even put me on the list. The last words she spoke to me resonated in my head and made my stomach twist in knots, cuz now, they had so much more meaning behind them. "Because she loved you and I wanted to hurt her! I figured I'd give you back once I taught her a lesson but the old cunt died and I was stuck with you! Why do you think I never gave a shit about what happened to you? You are just a reminder of everything that's fucked up in my life and I'm glad you fucking hurt you little bastard! I wish one of those fucking pussies I was with just finished you off and then I'd be done with you forever and finally get my fucking life back!"


Sometimes the things we say, can't be undone. I had no idea what I was lookin for…what I wanted or even expected from visitin mama…I didn't know if I should tell her bout Bobbie Sue or just ask her for the truth myself and see if she lied to me. I had no idea if she would be even remotely happy to see me…or if just one look at me would piss her off. I didn't know how I would react either. I was walkin into this thing totally blind and I wouldn't even have my baby boy there as my safety net. I was gonna have to do this alone…and that thought scared the hell outta me cuz, other than Edward, mama was the only person in this whole fuckin world who had the power to break me. I wasn't sure why I let her have so much power over me, but if I fuckin knew how to stop that shit, I sure as fuck would. But as it was, I just had to have fuckin faith and hope for the best. Faith was a foreign concept to me but I remembered Eddie once told me what it meant… He walked me to my English class where I had a huge test that he had helped me study for. I wasn't feeling at all confident about it but I wanted to do good so that I could get good enough grades to be in his advanced classes the next year. I whispered as I stood in the doorway, "I'm gonna fuckin bomb this shit…I can feel it." He smiled and whispered, "Have faith, Jay." I rolled my eyes and muttered, "What the fuck does that even mean, Edward?" He leaned in and whispered, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." I smirked, "Bible verse?" He laughed and nodded, "Yes. It just means to believe in the things you hope for but cannot visibly see…such as, your knowledge of the English language. You've studied hard so hope for the best and leave the rest to faith." I laughed and rolled my eyes again, "Okay, Eddie…cuz we all know how good I talk and shit." He smirked now and whispered, "Good luck, Jay. You'll do fine, I can feel it. I have faith in you." I smiled now and let out a breath, "Thanks, Edward." He winked and turned to leave. I got a 97% on that test. So what could I have faith in?


I could have faith that me and mama could talk like fuckin grown ups…maybe not. I could have faith that she would at least tell me the truth…yeah right. I could have faith I would leave this place better than I am now…not so sure bout that. Fuck…okay, I can have faith that no matter how badly this turns out…no matter if I come out cryin like a fuckin baby or screamin like a god damn mad man…I could have faith that Edward would help me through it and love me anyway…yup, I can have faith in that. That made me feel a little better as I continued my drive. Then my mind began to wander to my conversation with Big Daddy C. "Hey son, are you nervous about today?" "Yeah, Carlisle…I'm a fu…freakin mess." He chuckled a little and assured me, "You'll be fine, Jasper. I have faith in you." Now I see where Edward gets it from. I scratched my head through my curls as I sighed, "Glad you do cuz I'm not feelin so confident…" He sighed, "Son? You know about my situation with my mother. She was…horrible. And when she died we weren't on speaking terms. I have since made my peace with it…but I think that's the most difficult thing we can do in our lives…forgive someone who we feel has wronged us. But without forgiveness, we can find no peace. I'm not saying you have to forgive your mother today…or next week…or even five years from now…but one day, you are going to need to forgive her to finally have peace with your childhood and move on. Forgiving doesn't require forgetting, son. Gandhi said, 'The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' Just think about it, okay?" I sighed and ran my hands along my face, "Yeah, I'll think about it, Carlisle." "Good. Now what time do you think you should get there?" I looked over at the clock and ran through it in my head, "Um…probably about 2 or 3." "Okay then, I'll go so you can get ready to leave. Be safe and call me as soon as you can. And if Edward starts getting bad at the cemetery, call me or Doc Greene right away."


I smiled at his concern, "I will. Thanks, Carlisle. And um…I love you." "I love you too, son." Besides Edward, he was the only man I had ever said 'I love you' too. Fuckin perfect Cullen men…how I loved them fuckers. I chuckled a little bit to myself as I passed the Illinois border into Indiana. And as I drove, my mind wandered back to when I was seven years old… We still lived in Texas at the time, just bounced around from town to town. I was walkin home from school, tryin to hold back the tears that threatened to break through. I hated school. Everybody made fun of me cuz we was dirt fuckin poor and mama had bought my clothes from yard sales and the Goodwill. I had outgrown all my nice clothes that granny had gotten me. I was walkin along, kickin at the pebbles on the ground when I heard, "Look, it's that little faggot, Jasper!" My head shot up to see a couple of kids from my school standin in front of me. They were bigger than me and a little older but I held my head up and acted like I wasn't afraid…but it was an act cuz I was scared as shit. "Hey, pussy boy! I heard your mama was a two dollar whore down at the strip club. I think my uncle said that's what he paid for the sloppy ass blow job he got from her the other night." My fists tightened as I dropped my book bag, "Don't talk about my mama like that! She ain't no whore…she's a waitress…" They started laughin, "Is that what she calls it? I hear she's servin all the men real good…" I couldn't help myself as I jumped forward and tried to hit the bastard in the nose. But I didn't know how to fight so he easily blocked. Before I knew it, I was on the ground getting the shit kicked outta me. I just curled up and tried to protect my face as best I could until they were done. Finally, they ran off and I laid there for a few minutes. My body hurt like hell. My lip and nose were bleeding, my eye was swelling, and my stomach and back ached so bad that I wanted to cry. But I pulled myself up, dusted off the dirt and waited till I got home to cry…I'd be damned if I let them bastards see me do it. When I walked in the house, mama was lyin on the couch, half dazed. She furrowed her brows when she seen me, "God damn it, son! Again?"


I sniffled as the tears started fallin now. I whispered, "I wanna go home, mama…I hate it here…" She jumped off the couch and grabbed the half empty bottle on the table. She took a swig and scowled at me, "Quit bein a god damn pussy, Jasper! Ya know what? Real life ain't easy and it ain't fair! Ya better start learnin that now cuz it ain't gonna get no better! I'm sick of seein you comin home all beaten up and shit! Do ya even try to defend yourself or do ya like bein the neighborhood punchin bag?" I shook my head and wiped my eyes off with the back of my hand, "I do try, mama…" She rolled her eyes and huffed, "Can't believe I have a god damn pussy for a son…" Just then her boyfriend of the week walked in the room and started laughin, "Jesus Christ, Jasper! Are you a little queer boy or what? Every fuckin week you're getting the shit kicked out of you!" He came up and smacked me in the back of the head. I winced and tried to keep more tears from fallin, "I ain't a fuckin pussy! I ain't a god damn queer! I was tryin to defend you, mama, cuz all the boys were callin you a two bit whore…" And then the smack came hard across my cheek. I think it was him that smacked me but it happened so fast I couldn't be sure. My head turned and my eyes stung with fresh hot tears. "Don't you ever let me hear you call her that!" I wasn't callin her that…obviously they misunderstood me or were so fucked up that they only heard part of what I said. "Get to your god damn room, Jasper! No fuckin supper tonight! Go straight to bed!" I started to protest, "But I got homework…" Mama started laughin, "Ain't no amount of homework gonna make you any smarter, son. Now get to your fuckin room!" I grabbed my backpack and drug it off to my room. I closed my door and curled up on my mattress. I cried myself to sleep. I was awoken by mama in the middle of the night, "C'mon, baby boy…we're leavin." I groaned as I pulled myself up. I saw her empty out my backpack and start shoving my clothes in it.


I rubbed my eyes, "Where we goin, mama?" She turned to me and I could see the bruises on her face reflecting off the moonlight pourin in from the window, "I ain't sure yet, baby…we're just gonna get in the car and see where we end up. It'll be an adventure…fun, I promise. The next place is gonna be better than this shit hole town, baby boy." I pulled on my shoes and followed her out to the car. I curled up in the front seat and she laid her jacket across me. It smelled like whiskey and cigarettes, but it comforted me. She ran her hand through my curls and sang softly as we took off down the highway. And I was hopeful that she was telling the truth and the next place we ended up would be better. Of course, I soon found out that mama lied a lot. I ran my hand along my face and groaned as we neared the prison. We were only about half an hour out now so I pulled out another cigarette and smoked like a freight train until we got there. I pulled into the lot and turned off the car. I was nervous as hell but was fuckin anxious to get this shit over with. I ran my fingers through Edward's soft bronze hair and spoke quietly, "Hey babe? We're here, sugar. Wake up." He sighed as the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked grin and he reached down and started rubbing himself through his jeans, "Hmm, Jay…let's fuck, baby…" I couldn't help the laughter that I tried to hide from breaking through, "Um, babe? We're in the parking lot at the women's prison. Now I think some of them might like that but I'm pretty sure they frown on that sorta thing…though, I could be wrong…" His eyes flashed open and he jumped up, looking around all sleepy and dazed and tenting his jeans…my boyfriend fuckin rocked. "Shit, Jay! I can't believe I fell asleep! I'm so sorry! How are you feeling? Are you okay?" He was throwin questions at me a mile per minute and I just chuckled as I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder, "Calm down, babe. Breathe." He sucked in a big breath and let it out. His shoulders slumped and he reached up and laced his fingers with mine, "I'm sorry, Jay." I just smiled, "Don't be, darlin…I think I needed that before I went in here. You can always make me laugh." He just smirked, "So glad I amuse you."


I laughed again, "You really do, Eddie." He smiled and began rubbing his velvet fingers across the back of my hand, "Seriously, Jay…are you okay?" I smiled and sighed, "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm nervous and shit but I'm ready to get this over with." He nodded, "Yeah. Wish I could go in with you. I hate that you're going to be alone for this." I nodded now, "Yeah, me too…but I'll be alright, darlin." He smiled brightly, "If it gets bad, just remember that by tomorrow night, we'll be in Michigan…all alone…for the rest of the summer." That thought did make me smile, "I can't wait. After all this shit we've done these last few days, I'm in desperate need of some relaxation with my beautiful boy." His cheeks turned pink which only made me smile harder. I leaned over and kissed his cherry lips softly as I whispered, "If I ain't out in an hour…I got plenty of bail money in the trunk." He chuckled against my lips as he kissed me back. I left Jeremiah's ID with him cuz I figured I'd have to show mine and I didn't wanna accidentaly get caught with it. I took a deep breath as I walked up to the window and cleared my throat, "Um…I'm here to see my mama." The woman on the other side of the glass sent through a clipboard, "Write her name and DOC number here. Place your ID in the basket and send it back." I quickly did what she told me and she sighed as she looked at my ID, "I'm sorry, sir. You're a minor and you must have a parent or guardian with you when visiting an inmate." I groaned… You gotta be fuckin kiddin me… Another woman walked up and looked at my ID before speaking with the woman who held it.


For a minute my heart was racing cuz me and prisons…weren't a good combo in my opinion. Then the woman smiled, "Oh, I'm sorry, young man. Your doctor is here waiting for you. I didn't realize you were the one he was waiting for. Here's your ID…come on through the metal detector." Doctor? What the fuck? Is Carlisle here? My mind was really going wild now as I took my ID and walked through the metal detector. Then they patted me down and told me to have a seat. I sat there in the hard plastic chair, anxious as hell and wonderin what the hell was going on. A minute later, I got my answer. "Ah, Mr. Whitlock. I'm so glad you finally made it. I've been waiting for almost an hour." I stood up and took his hand in mine with a firm shake as my mind tried to catch up, "Um…Dr. Greene? Why…what…" He smiled, "Come on, visiting hours will be over soon and you only have an hour." I nodded and fell in step beside him. I whispered, "Doc? What the hell are you doing here?" He chuckled softly and whispered back, "They wouldn't let you in without a parent, guardian…or doctor present. You are my patient and I have legal rights to do this…well, not exactly legal…I may or may not have forged some documents but that's neither here nor there…just act natural…" Now I chuckled softly and whispered, "Okay, Doc…but I want answers when we leave." He rolled his eyes and nudged me in my ribs, "Pushy, pushy…" I really liked the Doc and I was really grateful he was there. He was different than any other doctor I had ever known…well, he did kinda remind me of Carlisle cuz he had an awesome sense of humor. Edward had told me about how much he had helped him when he was in the hospital. And I liked the Doc cuz he always answered my questions, personal or not he never backed away…he didn't hide shit from me. The fucker was cool as shit.


He led me into a big room filled with tables. I followed him over to one and sat down next to him. There were people sitting at the other tables, awaiting their family as well. Doc turned and smiled, "Do you want something to drink from the vending machine?" My knee was bobbing up and down at a spastic pace and my folded hands on the table were sweating. I nodded, "Um, yeah…coffee, black…" He raised an eyebrow as his hand came to my knee and stopped it from bouncing, "You sure coffee is a good idea right now?" I smiled sheepishly and nodded, "Yeah…believe it or not it helps calm me down." He nodded and rose, "Okey dokey, son." A minute later he sat back down with two cups of coffee. He cleared his throat and sighed, "There's something I need to tell you, Jasper…please keep an open mind." I furrowed my brows as I took a sip of the coffee and mumbled, "What's up, Doc?" He now played with his coffee cup and whispered, "I thought you should know that I've been seeing your mother…" My eyes went wide as I said a little too loudly, "What the fuck! I thought you were gay! You're married for Christ's sake!" He rolled his eyes, "Good Lord, son…I meant I've been seeing her as a patient." I could feel my cheeks burning as people turned and looked at us. I ducked my head and whispered, "What the hell do you mean?" He sighed, "Well, after you were gone and Carlisle couldn't reach you, he began trying to find out where you were. He wrote to your mother to see if she might know an address. She wrote him back and I guess they had sort of a heart-toheart about everything that happened. Anyway, she didn't know the address but she begged Carlisle for help. So, he spoke with me because I often work with people in correctional facilities and mental health facilities. I began seeing her last month. I fly out here twice a month and we have phone conversations every week." "Why didn't you or Carlisle tell me?" He whispered, "We spoke about it and decided we should tell you face to face…but then you told him you were coming here to visit her and so I flew


down here. I knew you wouldn't be able to get in without me and I wanted to have the opportunity to tell you. I hope you're not too upset." I shook my head feeling completely dazed and confused, "Um, no…I'm not mad…just…this is just weird, I guess." He nodded, "When we're done here, I'd like to take you and Edward out for dinner…have a talk about everything that's happened these past few days to see where your heads are at. I can explain everything in further detail then, if you like." I nodded, "Yeah, that'd be good." I turned my attention back now as the room started filling in with women in orange jumpsuits. I saw mama walking slowly towards the table, eyes on the floor and clasping her hands together in front of her. Slowly she approached and when she finally raised her eyes to mine…I was mesmerized. Her blue eyes were bright and wide, completely clear and glossy…no clouded over haze or redness. She wore no make up and although the rough life she had was evident on her face in the form of soft wrinkles around her eyes…I had never seen her look more beautiful. She twisted the ends of her long golden locks around her finger as she eyed me nervously. I noticed that without the dolled up hair, trashy clothes, and caked on make up…mama looked very much like a frightened young girl. I was unable to move or speak. Finally, the Doc stood and held out his hand, "Good to see you again, Linda. You're looking lovely as ever." She blushed as she took his hand and gazed at the floor again as she spoke humbly, "Thanks Doc…but I know I look a right mess…" I shook my head and found my voice, "No, mama…you look…beautiful." Her eyes shot up and found mine. She released the Doc's hand and just stared at me for a moment. I watched as her eyes got wetter and glossier, only adding to the brilliant crystal blue. She let out a sob and just threw herself into my arms. This was the first time I had ever seen my mama cry. And for the first time in my life, I felt like the powerful one. I towered above her now and she seemed so small and fragile in my arms…much different than the hard ass bitch I knew.


She clutched onto me tight as she gasped through ragged sobs, "I'm so sorry, son…I didn't mean none of them horrible things I said…I was so wrong…so messed up…I was a monster…you didn't deserve any of it…please forgive me, baby boy…please tell me you still love me…please…you're all I got…please forgive me…" I wasn't sure what to do. I hated that I loved her. I hated that I ached to forgive her. But I just couldn't do it. Too much had been done…said…I couldn't let that shit go so easy. The cold hard truth was that I didn't trust her. A guard walked by and tapped her shoulder, "Enough, have a seat." She pulled away reluctantly and nodded as she wiped at her eyes. I looked at the Doc confused and he handed her a tissue, "You're only allowed to touch at the beginning and end of the visit, other than holding hands." I nodded and sat down across from her. Her hands were on the table, twisting the tissue to pieces and shaking. I sighed as I reached my hand out and laid it palm up on the table. Slowly, both of her hands crept across and gripped onto it. She smiled as she sniffled, "Thank you, son." I just nodded, still unsure of what the hell I was doing. The silence was deafening and uncomfortable…the sounds of the room fading into nothingness but the silent figures at this table. The Doc cleared his throat, "Jasper, if you would like some privacy, I can go and wait in one of the chairs by the wall." I shook my head and whispered, "Please don't leave." He nodded and whispered, "She asked you for forgiveness…this is your chance, son…whatever you want to say, say it now." I took a moment and steeled myself so that I didn't break down. Finally, mustering up enough courage, I raised my eyes to hers and just began talking, "Mama…my whole life you've been mean to me. You've never acted like you loved me, hell, you never even acted like you liked me. You let every man you were with hurt me. You never protected me…never comforted me…you relished every bit of pain I suffered. You called me names…shattered every bit of confidence I had. When you took me away…I wasn't like I am now. I wasn't mean…I wasn't distrustful of every fuckin thing around me…I was a happy kid. You single handedly…destroyed me." She was sobbing again but I couldn't stop myself from continuing, "You just didn't care about what happened to me. You're the first person I ever did drugs with. You knew all the stuff your boyfriends were teachin me…how to rob, steal,


sell drugs…it's like you wanted me to be fucked up. Well, mama, you succeeded cuz I am…I'm all fucked up. But I'm tryin real fuckin hard to put myself back together…do you remember what you told me when I got locked up for six months in Boys School?" She shook her head through wracking sobs. I let go of her hand now as my anger started coming forefront, pushin everything else back down. "I was only twelve years old and I was fuckin scared, mama. When I cried, you called me a pussy. When I asked if you was gonna come visit me…you told me to be a man and fuckin deal with it. So, I gotta ask, mama…why the hell should I sit here and listen to anything you gotta say? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just walk out that door and never fuckin look back?" She looked down at the table, focusing on her clasped hands. After a moment of silence she lifted her head and looked into my eyes, "There ain't no good reason, son. Truth is…you should just walk away. You deserve better than anything I can give ya. I know that the damage I've done to you…can't ever be undone. So, go ahead, baby boy…walk away…try to make your life better…try and find some happiness. I'm sorry for everythin and I promise I won't try and contact you…I'll let you go." She pushed away from the table and my anger boiled over as the tears started falling from my eyes now, "God damn it, mama! Won't you fuckin fight for me? Just once in your god damn life…please, fuckin fight for me! Why the fuck is it so easy for you to just walk away from me all the god damn time? Ain't you ever loved me?" That familiar scowl came across her face as her eyes narrowed and she leaned over the table towards me, whispering harshly, "You think that was easy for me? You have no fuckin clue the hell I've went through for you…and you ain't ever had a nice thing to say to me! That bitch stole you from me! When you was a baby, you looked at me like I was the most beautiful, important thing in the whole world! When she was done with you, you couldn't look at me with anything but hate! The very first time I heard you talk, you told me you hated me! Do you h-have…any idea…" I watched as her hands went to cover her face now and she sobbed relentlessly once again, "Do you have any idea…how bad it hurts…to love somebody so much…and have them just hate you?" The guard walked over, "Sit back down and keep it quiet or the visit's over." She dropped to her chair, still sobbing and I nodded, "Yeah, we'll keep it down." Once he turned and walked away, the Doc spoke, "Both of you need to keep your emotions in check if you wish for this to continue."


We both wiped away at our eyes and put on our tough exterior. I finally realized that mama was good at acting too cuz in a matter of minutes, the broken little girl was replaced with a strong, feral woman. I decided that I didn't wanna tell mama I knew what happened…I wanted to see if she'd tell me the truth. "Mama? What are you talkin about?" She huffed and crossed her arms, "You don't know anything, son. You don't know that the first time I left, it wasn't cuz I upped and walked away. Your precious granny…she threw me out. I didn't wanna leave you. You was all I had. I didn't walk away…I was forced." I sighed and leaned onto the table with my elbows, "You're right, mama. I don't know nothin but what you tell me. So, tell me everythin." She laughed humorlessly and muttered, "I only got an hour, son…ain't enough time for everythin." Then she huffed and mimicked my position, leaning onto the table and staring directly into my eyes, "I'm gonna keep this short, Jasper cuz I don't got much time left with you." I nodded and she took a breath, "I had a baby brother…you were named after him. I loved that boy so much and he loved me…followed me everywhere. But he was mama and daddy's pride and joy. Anyway, there was an accident and he passed away. They blamed me for it. Not a day went by that they didn't make sure I was punished severely cuz of it. Shortly after I got pregnant with you, daddy died. Me and your daddy was married right 'fore you was born and he had to leave for the Marines…he didn't wanna leave us but he didn't have much choice at the time. You and me had no choice but to stay at home with mama." I was surprised that she was telling me the truth so far…it was a watered down version but I understood why she left out the details she did. She continued on but the strength in her voice was fading, "Mama was crazy jealous of me and you. You was my baby boy…I carried you 'round all the time. You cried whenever anyone else would come near you. And I loved that you loved me so good. The way you looked at me…just made me feel…like it didn't matter what no one else thought of me…as long as you loved me, I was happy. You'd fall asleep every night with your little head on my chest, listenin to my heart and I would play with your little honey curls and sing to ya. I never really knew what lovin somebody was till I held you in my arms…I never really understood what it felt like to be loved back until you looked at me. We was perfect, me and you." Her voice was soft now and her eyes still glistened with a far away look in them. She wiped away the wetness underneath and took a breath, "Me and mama


used to fight all the time cuz she said I was spoilin you…coddlin ya too much. I'd tell her that ya can't love a baby too much. Like I said, she was just jealous. So, during one of our fights, she told me to get out. And so I grabbed what little I had and grabbed you…but she snatched you from my arms and said you wasn't goin nowhere. That she was gonna raise you. That I owed her since I got her baby killed. I tried to get ya back but she wouldn't let go. You let out a scream and I knew we was hurtin you…" She looked down at her lap now and her folded up hands as she whispered, "When I was a little girl, I remembered a story from church bout two women fightin over a child. They was both tuggin at him, clamin to be his mama…but in the end, his real mama let go cuz she couldn't bear the thought of hurtin her baby…so that's what I did, I let go. I wanted to take you with me so bad…but I knew I couldn't take care of you. I was only fifteen, no schoolin, no money…I couldn't even buy your diapers. So, I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I regret it every day of my life." I reached out my hand again and whispered, "I didn't know, mama…" She nodded and forced a tight smile as she placed her hand in mine, "I know, son." I was curious now about what happened after that so I asked. She took another breath and kept her eyes focused on our hands, "When I left, I had nothing. A friend of mine let me stay with her but she had to sneak me in cuz her mama thought I was no good. Without you…I was so empty…hollow. I woulda done anything to just not ache the way I was. I met this boy and he introduced me to coke. It sorta helped to make me…not ache so bad anymore. He put me up in his apartment and got me a job as a waitress. It didn't take long until I couldn't get through a day without getting high…it just hurt too much. He was older than me and I remember how he used to hit me all the time. So, I just figured that's what men did, y'know…when ya got outta line, they hit you. That's what I had grown up with so it was natural to me." My brows furrowed cuz that's one thing that pissed me the fuck off…I hated when pussy ass men felt like they could put their hands on a woman. "Mama, you know that's not true, right? I would never dream of hittin a girl no matter what she did to me." She nodded sheepishly, "I'm figurin it out, son. Ya gotta remember I was only fifteen…younger than you are now. I was just a kid myself. So, anyway, time went on and I ended up getting kicked out of his place but I soon found another guy to take me in. That's how it went for awhile. Time just got away from me…being high will make you lose years fast. So, I turned 18. I was old enough to become a dancer now…that's what the man I was with told me I should do cuz I could make enough money to take care of you. So, I did. Problem was that I was also a junkie with a big habit that soaked up most my money. I went to


mama and begged her for help. You was hidin behind her legs when you seen me. I tried to get ya to come to me…give me a hug…but you looked at me with so much anger and said that you hated me…I weren't no good and to leave you alone. Mama wouldn't help me and I was crushed so I left again." I squeezed her hand and whispered, "I'm sorry, mama." She just shook her head, "Don't be…wasn't your fault, baby…she brain washed you. Anyway, I continued doin what I was doin but then I found out your daddy was comin home. He had written a letter that a friend of mine had gotten so she tracked me down and made sure I got it. He said he was gonna come home and help me get clean, he knew what I had been doin but he wanted me anyway. He said he was gonna get us a place to live and we could be a real family. That's what I had always wanted but when the time came…I was…scared. All my life, people had told me that I was no good and I believed them. I wasn't no good. I was hooked bad on coke and drinkin…the thought of bein clean scared the shit out of me. The thought of bein with your daddy, who was way too good for me, scared me. And the thought of you hatin me…terrified me." "So, I ran again. When I finally came and got you that night…I was so bad on drugs that I barely even remember doin it. I'll admit that I did wanna hurt my mama. I wanted her to suffer for what she had put me through. I wanted her to agonize for you the way I had. But, deep down, I just wanted my baby boy back. But I was too fucked up to treat you good and you just didn't love me anymore. Most of the shit that I let happen, or I said to you was cuz I was so fucked up all the time and so angry at everything. I couldn't believe that mama had turned you against me and it killed me. But it wasn't your fault and I took it out on you anyway. And when you started getting beat up all the time, it scared the shit outta me cuz you was such a sweet boy…I was scared that this world was gonna chew you up and spit you out. Life ain't easy and life ain't fair, son…I just wanted you to be tougher than I was so it wouldn't hurt you the way it did me. Fucked up logic, I know, but like I said, I was so messed up and I never really grew up at all." Mama had told me the truth…I'll be damned. I was a little shocked. "Mama, I really…I don't know what to say…I know it wasn't my fault that granny had taught me to call you those names and to treat you so bad, but I'm sorry anyway. Maybe if I would've treated you better…" She cut me off, "No, don't you dare take any of the blame on your shoulders, son. You was a baby…ain't none of this your fault. I should've been workin hard to change how you felt about me and prove mama wrong but instead I let my anger get the best of me. I was hideous…I'm so ashamed for all them things I said to you. I'm ashamed for letting those worthless bastards hurt you. I'm ashamed for never bein strong enough to be the mama you needed. I know you don't even really need a mama no more, you're practically a grown man…but if you'd let me…I'd really like to try harder…I'll do better this time, I swear."


I nodded, "Yeah, mama…maybe we can try and work some things out. Maybe when I get settled at the end of the summer, we can write each other. Maybe I'll get a phone and we could talk every now and then. Maybe…" She nodded and wiped at her eyes with a soft smile, "Maybe's more than I deserve, so I'll take it." I smiled back and just held her hand for a minute. She squeezed my hand and sighed, "So, I s'pose a normal mama would ask how you're doin? O'course, she probably wouldn't be wearin an orange jumpsuit when she did it, but we Whitlock's ain't ever been 100% normal." I chuckled a little, "That's the truth, mama. I'm doin…good, actually. I'm spending the summer with Edward." She raised an eyebrow with a mischievous smirk, "Edward, huh? You guys still together?" I furrowed my brows and looked at the Doc, "You told her bout me and Eddie?" He shook his head, "Of course not…" Mama started laughing, "Please, son…the Doc ain't told me nothin and neither did Carlisle. I've known you were in love with that boy since you was 13." Now I was really shocked, "What? How did…" She smiled, "Honey, I've known you were gay since you was ten years old. Or I knew you liked boys too at least. I paid more attention than you think. You was always different with boys. You was always real protective when you made a friend…especially with the little geeky boys. I remember your teacher telling me once that the boys who was picked on and bullied loved you cuz you bullied their bullies. You've just always had that protective nature about you. And when you brought Edward home…and he bout cussed me out over you…I remember the way you was lookin at him. You looked at him like you used to look at me…your eyes were just filled with love and respect and happiness. I knew it then…I guess that's why I was so jealous of him and tried to break you away from his family. I'm glad you didn't listen to me…they're real good people and Edward's a good boy. You deserve someone who treats you right." My mind was racing. Mama knew I was gay…and she didn't seem to care. I leaned over and whispered, "So, you don't care that I'm…y'know…gay?" She smiled and whispered, "I don't care what you are, baby boy…I love you and that ain't ever gonna change. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be there for you when you was figurin it out…I coulda helped you. I knew you was havin a hard time, I could see it in your eyes…but I was so fucked up and mad as hell all the time


that I couldn't do nothing but make things worse for you. I'm really sorry, sugar." I nodded, still kinda taken aback, "Yeah, mama…thanks." She rolled her eyes and laughed, "So? Ya gonna tell bout him or not? I never gotta know him very much…what's he like?" I couldn't help the wide dimpled grin that came to my face now or the slight blush that tinged my cheeks, "He's wonderful, mama. He's always so good to me. He knows what I'm thinkin without me havin to say a word and he always helps me when I'm losin it…he's perfect. And he's…he's…" I felt all the air leave my chest and my cheeks were on fire as I breathed out, "he's so fuckin beautiful. I don't deserve him…" She narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table, "Hey! You're beautiful too, baby. And learn from me, baby boy…don't waste no time thinkin that you don't deserve him or that he's too good for ya just cuz he comes from money. That's bullshit. I bet he feels the same way bout you. I bet you protect him and fight for him…I bet you're his whole world. If he's any bit as smart as his daddy, he knows that there ain't no better man in the world than you." I smiled, "Yeah? Maybe you're right." She smiled and then started chewing her lip, "So, um…how's your daddy doin? Carlisle told me bout what happened." I shrugged, "He's pretty much the same. Drinks all the time, we fight all the time…he's on the road a lot though so I was grateful for that." She sighed as she frowned, "I hate that he's fallen apart so bad. Your daddy…he used to be such a good guy. Reminded me a lot of you when you was little. He was funny and sweet…he used to play the guitar in a band. He was incredible to watch. He was always happy…smiling. The Marines sure changed him a whole lot…guess I did too. I just could never love him the way he loved me. I hope he finds some happiness one day. I woulda loved for you to know your daddy 'fore all this shit happened. He was like a different man." That threw me for a loop cuz daddy was an asshole. I couldn't imagine him bein any of those things mama said. We talked a little while longer until our hour was finally up. She gave the Doc a hug and then held onto me until one of the guards told her to let go. I promised to write and she promised to answer me back. She said she would check in with Carlisle every few weeks to make sure I was okay.


Doc smiled as we were leaving the building, "I think she's made excellent progress, Jasper. I think you have too. So, are you hungry? I'd still like to take you and Edward to dinner tonight." He laughed now, "He's going to shit when he sees me!" I laughed too, "Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna be surprised. I can't believe you came here." He smiled, "I'm your doctor, son, but I'm also a friend. Carlisle and I have been friends for years and I consider his children, mine. I will always come anywhere you need me to be. All you have to do is ask." I smiled back, "Thanks, Doc." And as we started walking to the parking lot, I couldn't wait to tell Edward about everything that happened between mama and me. I felt like a big weight had come up off of my shoulders. I felt lighter‌freer. Mama still had three years left to serve so I was hopeful that maybe we could start to fix things between us‌maybe.


Chapter Thirty-Six Play list - I Want Some More by Dan Auerbach (towards the end of the chapter, I think you'll know when ;) Eddie's POV Waiting, in general, sucks. Waiting for him to come back to me from something that could completely destroy him, is agonizing. I tried just turning on some music and lying back in the seat. I tried losing myself to the words and the rhythm. I tried. But nothing worked. My mind was racing with all of the different scenarios that could happen, none of them good. One thing was certain… If that evil bitch hurts my man again…I will rip her fucking head off! I glanced at the clock… 15 minutes! Are you shitting me? I still had quite a while to wait and the worrying was killing me. So, I decided to call Em and get things set up for tomorrow. I couldn't wait to have Jay all to myself with nowhere to go and nothing to do…besides each other. I could feel myself twitch at the thought and figured I'd better call Em fast because sitting in the women's prison parking lot with a stiffy was…awkward. A lowly, "Hello?" answered. I smiled when I heard him, "Hey Tommy! How's it going, man?" His voice picked up and I could hear the smile in it, "Um, okay I guess. How are you, Edward?" "I'm great. Jay and I are on our way to Michigan. We should be there by tomorrow." He let out a breath, "Oh. That's great, Edward. So, um…things are okay with you guys? I mean, everything's cool then?" I smiled as I laid back in the seat and gushed about my boyfriend, "Yeah, it's fantastic. If possible, he's gotten even more beautiful. He has this cool tattoo on his back of angel wings…and he got it just for me. Isn't that amazing? And, damn, Tommy…his tongue is pierced! It feels even more incredible when he…"


"Ugh! Stop, man, stop! I don't need details!" I laughed and turned a bit red on my over board summation, "Um, sorry about that." He sighed, "It's okay. I'm happy for you, Edward. I really am…it's just that…" He trailed off and I began worrying about him. Tommy and I had become quite close in the hospital. I could tell when something was bothering him. I hoped he wasn't having nightmares again or that his asshole parents hadn't done something stupid. "What is it, Tommy? You can tell me anything, you know that." He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "It's nothing, man. I just…kinda miss you, that's all. It was nice having you around to talk to. I just don't feel real comfortable talking to Em about, uh, personal stuff, y'know?" "Well, I miss you guys too, Tommy. But you know you can call me if you ever need someone to talk to. So, what's going on? Why do you sound so down?" He took a deep breath and let it all out, "Well, I was thinking…shit, here comes Em and Brady…I'll talk to you about it later, okay? And, um, I'm glad you're happy, Edward. Here's Em…" I started to say something when I heard him yell and tell Em I was on the phone. I heard some rustling and laughing before hearing a breathless Brady on the phone laughing, "Edward fucking Cullen! Ya know, it sure is a lot less pretty around here without you and Jay!" I laughed back, "Oh, I'm sure you're keeping Forks pretty enough all on your own, Brady." "Well, that is true. So, what state are you making better looking today, Eddie boy?" I shook my head as I chuckled, "Um, Indiana. We should be in Michigan by tomorrow evening." He practically squealed…God he was turning into such a queen… "Oh my god! Em, we need to go down there and party with the boys! Seriously! Why didn't we think of this before?" I laughed, "Um, when do you think you'll be coming?"


Please let them hold off awhile so I can have alone time with Jay? "Relax, lover boy. We'll wait until the last few weeks or so. Wouldn't want you to have to share your time with your cowboy and his cock. Seriously though, wouldn't it be fun to have the whole gang hanging out again? We miss you guys." I smiled, "We miss you too. It sounds great, man. I'm sure Jay would love to see you…" He interrupted with a laugh, "Besides…half naked boys frolicking on the beach sounds like my kind of vacation!" I burst out laughing, "Frolicking, Brady? Jesus, I really do miss you guys. But what about you and Tommy? I thought you were going to go on a date, the last I heard." He chuckled, "Oh we did, Edward…total disaster. We're much better as friends…with benefits." I heard Tommy yell in the background, 'Jesus, Brady! Don't tell him that!" Brady just huffed, "It's only, Edward, for crying out loud! Have you taken your nerve pill today? You're edgy!" I heard Tommy muttering in the background but couldn't make anything out. Brady just sighed, "I don't know what's with him lately. He was doing really well for awhile but these last few days…ugh, never mind…anyway…how are things with you and Jay going? Give me all the dirty details…" I made a mental note to talk to Tommy later about whatever was going on with him. Lord knows he listened to me go on for hours while we were locked up together. But for now, I rejoiced in having someone to share all the new intricacies of my love life. So, I did. I told him everything and it was wonderful to talk about it. He let out a lazy sigh, "Wow…I hope I have what you have someday." I smiled, "You will, Brady." "Oh good! So you'll share Jay then?" I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "Not a chance in Hell, man." He laughed, "Well, in the meantime, if you ever need someone to hold the video camera while you two go at it…I'm your man."


I just giggled and shook my head, "I'll keep that in mind, Brady." He sighed, "Okay, Em looks like he might puke so I better let him talk to you. Take care, Edward. Tell Jay I said hi and see you guys soon." "You too, Brady. See you soon." I heard the phone rustle again and heard Em's loud voice, "Eddie! How ya doing, man? No fine details though, dude." I laughed, "I'm really good, Em. How are you and Rose?" "Great, man. I love that mean ass bitch. So, dude, you guys close to Michigan yet, or what?" "Yep, we should be there tomorrow." "Cool, Eddie. I'll overnight the keys and the security info to the local post office. You've still got the address and everything, right?" "Yeah, I do. Thanks again, Em, for letting us use the cabin. It's really very nice of you." "Shit, dude, no problem. You guys can have the run of the place. The liquor cabinets are stocked and dad has someone come out to clean the pool and stuff. I told him I was staying there for the summer with Rosie and some friends so they know that people will be there. So, ya want us to come out in a few weeks?" I smiled, "Definitely! Bring the whole gang if you can. Jay misses you all a lot." He sighed, "Yeah, we do too. It's not been the same without him…or you. You were always so busy that last month after you got out of the hospital that we haven't seen much of you either." I heard Brady yell in the background, 'We haven't seen much of you, Eddie! I'll start with the front half!' I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Jeez! He's becoming such a perv!" Emmett's loud laugh boomed again, "Fuck, man! It's the McCarty kiss…turns 'em into sex fiends every time!" I laughed as I heard them going at each other. Finally, I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Jay walking up with…Dr. Greene?


"Um, hey Jay's coming so we'll call you back in a little while, okay?" "Okay, dude. Later, Eddie." "Later, Em." I ended the call and jumped out of the car just in time to see Jay's beautiful dimpled smile as he saw me. It went well‌thank God. I was so thankful and so relieved that I couldn't stop myself from running up and just launching myself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me and laughed as I squeezed his neck and pressed soft kisses all over his happy face. I finally took his lips to mine and kissed him deeply enough that I didn't even care that the Doc was standing there watching us. Finally, I pulled away from his honey lips and whispered, "Went well then?" He nodded, "Yeah, Eddie. It went a hell of a lot better than I ever expected it too. And look what I found." I smiled as he motioned over to the Doc who stood there with his arms folded and an amused look on his face. I held out my fist to him and laughed, "Hey Doc. Does Jonathan know that you hang around the women's prison?" He smirked as he bumped my fist, "Hello Edward‌yes he does and he encourages my behavior." Jay wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around his waist as we faced the Doc. "So, seriously, what's going on? Why are you here?" He smiled, "I felt Jasper could use some emotional support for this visit. And I've been counseling Linda for the past month or so." I furrowed my brows, "Really? Why?" He leaned against my car and pulled out a cigarette. I knew he smoked, he had done so several times when we spoke in the outside area of the hospital. He took a drag and then proceeded to tell me about how my dad had contacted her and then he went to the Doc for some help. The Doc initially had another doctor speak with her but he wasn't having any luck in getting her to open up.


And he figured that having Jay's doctor speak to her might be beneficial. Once Linda found out that Doc Greene spoke with Jasper, she started opening up to him. He wouldn't give us any details but he said that she had been doing very well these last few weeks and he was hopeful that he could get another doctor to take over her therapy in a month or two. He asked if he could take us out to dinner before he had to catch his flight back home in a few hours. We hopped in my car and followed him to a small restaurant not far from the prison. Jay told me that he'd tell me all about his visit with his mom later when we had more alone time but that he was hopeful yet still somewhat guarded because of his trust issues. Doc watched as I grabbed Jay's hand and followed them into the restaurant with a smug smile on his face. I slid in a booth next to Jay and the Doc sat across the table from us. The Doc smirked at me, "So, I see that you're doing much better with public affection." I smirked right back as I pulled mine and Jay's laced fingers up on the table, "Much better." Jasper laughed and leaned over to softly brush his lips on mine as he whispered, "Mmm…love you, Eddie." I sighed dreamily and whispered, "Love you too, Jay." Doc rolled his eyes and laughed, "Okay, okay you two…geez…so, Edward, back in the hospital we spoke quite a bit about your fears of being public in your relationship. Can you tell me what changed?" I could feel my cheeks burning as I squeezed Jay's hand and smiled, "Um…I guess that the fear of not being able to touch him and tell him how much I love him scares me more. And, I'm not really frightened anymore of what other people think…they just don't matter." He folded his hands on the table and raised and eyebrow, "That's wonderful, Edward but fear is a very powerful emotion…I'm amazed that you've let it go so easily." I shook my head, "It wasn't easy, Doc. I'm still very aware of the looks and the whispers of people around me who don't approve but…I think that love trumps fear any day." Jasper smiled at me and I smiled back.


We spent quite a while talking about the past few days and everything we had been experiencing. I told the Doc all about Uncle Tony and he was very pleased that I didn't totally freak out when I saw him. I admitted that it freaked me out a lot more than I let on but that I was okay and dealing with it. The initial shock of seeing him had worn off slightly and I was just thankful that I finally got some answers about my past. I wished that I could've known more but the Doc reassured me that I had enough information to put all the pieces together and begin to move on. And I was really finally ready to do that. We also spent some time talking about Jay's visit with his mom. I was surprised that she had responded so positively with him. Doc had told us that her being sober had a lot to do with that. Jay said that he wanted to make an effort to fix things with his mom but he would only meet her half way…he wouldn't make the leap by himself only to fall flat on his face at the end. He had serious trust issues with her and I couldn't blame him. I wondered if they might become even worse because of the lies his grandmother told as well, but I guess only time would tell. At least he trusted me and a handful of others, which I thought was a great testament to how much he had grown. Eventually, the serious conversation wore down and the Doc smiled over his chicken sandwich and fries, "Okay, so off the record…what kind of things are you boys planning on doing once you reach Michigan?" I don't plan on leaving the bedroom… My face started to burn as images of day and night long lovemaking sessions entered my thoughts and I had to look down at my plate, "Um…I don't know…just…stuff." Jasper started laughing and threw his arm around my shoulder, "Well, Doc, to be honest…we probably won't leave the bedroom for the first couple of days…" My head shot up and I stared at him with wide eyes as my face burned even hotter, "Jay!" He just chuckled and smiled, "What? You know you were thinkin the same thing as me, Eddie." The Doc just raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Jasper? You do know that Carlisle is one of my best friends, right? I tell him everything that's off the record." Now I chuckled as Jay's face turned red and he muttered, "I was only kiddin." Trying to think quickly to change the subject, I asked, "So, um, Doc…how do you and dad know each other?"


I watched as his face turned a little darker pink and he mumbled, "Well, um, we met in college." Jasper must've noticed too and he looked at him curiously, "Spill, Doc. Give us the whole story." He let out an exasperated sigh and smiled slightly, "Fine, fine…I met Carlisle when we were both in college back in Chicago. He introduced Jonathan and me. Anyway, I worked part time at a diner as a waiter to help pay my expenses. I had only received a partial scholarship and I had to bust my ass to make ends meet…" Ever the curious one, Jay furrowed his brows, "Your parents wouldn't help you?" Doc sighed and shook his head, "Afraid not. I haven't spoken to my parents since I was fifteen years old. They were very conservative and once they caught me making out with William Byers in the tool shed , they kicked me out of the house. I lived from pillar to post with friends and such while I finished school. I tried once to contact them about fifteen years ago but they wish to pretend that I never existed and I'm content letting them think that." I looked at the Doc now with his small frown on his face and sighed, "I'm really sorry, Doc." He just gave me a half smile, "It's okay, Edward. I've worked past it. By the way, you can call me Adam when we're off the record." Jasper smiled, "I always wondered what your real name was." Adam laughed now, "I'm surprised you never asked." Jasper just smirked, "Funny. Now, c'mon, Adam…tell us how you met Carlisle and about how you and Jon met." "Pushy, pushy…anyway, like I said, I worked at the diner most every night. Carlisle began coming in night after night and ordered nothing but coffee. He was always alone and always looked so sad...he never spoke other than to order his drink. I thought he was very handsome and sort of began crushing on him." Now Jay and I both laughed. Adam threw his napkin at us, "Shut it, you two. Carlisle is a very handsome man…" Jasper laughed as he shoved some fries in his mouth, "I'll agree with you on that one, Doc…Big Daddy C's a total hottie…" I groaned, "Ugh! Stop talking about my dad!"


They were both laughing now and Jay shrugged, "Sorry, man, but Carlisle is a total DILF." I was getting all flustered now as I threw up my hands, "What the hell is a DILF?" Jasper laughed even harder as he smiled at me, "Daddy I'd like to fu…" I covered my ears tightly with my hands and squeezed my eyes shut, "I can't hear you! La la la la la…" A moment later, my hands were being pulled away and I snapped my eyes open to see Jasper smiling at me, "Sorry, Eddie…I don't really wanna fuck anyone but you, babe." I folded my arms and looked away as I muttered, "I cannot believe you just said you wanted to…do that…with my dad!" He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him while I resisted as best I could. He whispered in my ear, "Baby boy, you know I don't want anyone but you. You're all I'll ever want. Forever, sugar. I was just teasin you, Eddie. I'm sorry, please don't be mad." Stupid Jasper and his stupid sweet honey voice that melts away all the anger I feel… I sighed as I tried my best to make my most angry face at him, "You're an asshole, you know that, right?" He smiled, "I know I am, darlin. But you love me anyway." I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the crooked grin that started to pull at my lips, "Yeah, I do…Dick." He winked at me, "You just can't keep my dick off your mind, huh, babe?" "Am I invisible? Grown man sitting right across from you." I lifted my eyes from my Jasper lust-induced haze and looked at the Doc, "Um, sorry Doc...uh, Adam. Go ahead with your story please." Adam smiled and mumbled, "Carlisle's going to have his hands full with you two…okay, so I was crushing on Carlisle a bit and eventually worked up the nerve to ask if I could sit with him after my shift let off. Of course, he was gracious and said yes. We talked a little and found out that we went to the same university. He was a sophomore and I was a freshman. I even got the balls to ask him out…"


I laughed a little and Jasper just pulled me closer to his side and smiled at me. "He was a total sweetheart and told me that he was in love with a beautiful woman but she had broken up with him before he left for college. He was still hopeful that she would come back to him though. So, we started talking every night and became good friends." Jasper spoke up, "So, how'd he introduce you to your husband?" Adam smiled and even blushed a little, "About a month after we started talking, he began bringing Jon in with him every so often. He was gorgeous…dirty blonde hair and chocolate eyes. I could barely speak when he was near. They belonged to the same fraternity and had known each other for years. Both of their families were very wealthy and they grew up in the same social circle. Jonathan was always very sweet and kind of shy…very different from me. Carlisle told me that I should ask him out but I just…couldn't. I was still undecided in school at that point and had no idea of what I wanted to do in my life. I had a mountain of debt already and had a horrible job as a waiter in a shitty diner. I had trust and intimacy issues. I had absolutely nothing to offer him." I smiled now and leaned forward with my elbow on the table, "So, what happened?" He smiled deeply and I could see the affection in his eyes as he spoke about Jonathan. "Your dad invited me to a party at their frat house one night. We were all…well hell, we were all completely wasted. From what Jonathan told me, he had been telling Carlisle all night how badly he wanted to kiss me but he was afraid of how I'd react…afraid of how his frat brothers would react to him kissing another man…they all knew he was gay, in fact, there was another gay boy in the house too. But he was just too shy and scared to do it." Now a realization dawned on me and I laughed, "So, dad kissed the other boy so that Jonathan wouldn't be afraid to kiss you." He nodded and laughed, "Yes, he did. It was absolutely amazing and completely hilarious. The guys were taking pictures and teased him about it relentlessly but you know your father, he just took it with a good hearted laugh and a smile. So, anyway, Jonathan and I were laughing along when he turned to me and time just seemed to stand still as I saw the laughter in his eyes change to desire. He leaned forward so slowly that I thought I might just burst. Then he brushed his lips against mine and…I was finally home. We've been together ever since." I sighed dreamily and Jasper smiled, "That's kinda fuckin beautiful, Doc."


He smiled and nodded, "It really is pretty fucking beautiful, Jay. Things haven't always been easy for us. School was stressful and life after school hasn't always been peaches and cream but we make it work. He's a pretty powerful attorney and with my work, we don't see each other for days at a time sometimes…but we always find our way home." And I found myself anxious at the exciting prospect of becoming Jay's husband someday. I figured, if we could make it through high school together, then we should be able to overcome anything life could throw our way. I was certain that we would always have our share of hard times and trials in life…but I was also certain that we would always find our way home, into each other's arms. We finished eating and Adam handled the bill, even after we tried to get him to let us pay. We stepped outside and he had to leave for the airport soon but wanted to smoke a cigarette before he left. Jay lit one up too and I jumped up on the hood of my car as I watched them. Jay stepped up in between my legs and laid his back against my chest as he smoked. I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my ankles in the front as his head laid back on my shoulder. I started massaging his shoulders as he stood there, figuring that the stress of the day had to be getting to him. He moaned softly and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels so good, baby." I smiled as I gently kissed his golden curls. A minute later his head snapped up and he exhaled, leaving a cloud of smoke as he spoke, "Hey Doc? Can I ask you a question…off the record?" Adam nodded, "Sure, son, what's on your mind?" Jay furrowed his brows and took another drag, "Well, mama said that she knew I was gay all them years but I don't know if I buy it. She took every opportunity she had to drag me through the dirt. I don't understand why she never brought that up if she knew." Adam took a pull from his cigarette before exhaling slowly and leaning against the car next to Jay. He sighed, "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you…" Jay turned and looked at him as he spoke quietly, "Please, Adam…I gotta know or it'll drive me crazy…" He smirked, "Ya know…you're lucky you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. This stays in between us and no one else…I could get in a lot of trouble for discussing this with you. Do I make myself clear?" We both nodded and he leaned back against the car again, "Well, that wasn't exactly true, Jasper. As we started talking through everything in therapy, bits and pieces started coming together for her. You must understand, before her incarceration, she was inebriated pretty much all of the time so she couldn't


put things together. Subconsciously, I do think that she did know back then…I think that's why she made little off the wall comments to you about having relationships with men…" Jasper turned his head, "So, that's why she used to talk shit about me and Carlisle?" Adam nodded, "Yes." Jasper shook his head, "But that don't make sense. She said she could tell I was in love with Edward…I remember her makin little comments bout people thinking I was a fag if I kept hangin round him but she never flat out accused me of bein with him…" Adam smiled softly, " Jasper, your mother was insanely jealous of your relationship with Edward. Think about it…did she ever get on you about hanging out with any of your past girlfriends or friends?" Jay shook his head, "No, I guess not." The Doc sighed, "She was threatened by what you had with Edward. In her mind, you showed him what you had never shown her…love and respect. She never mentioned it because she was afraid." Jasper furrowed his brows, "But why would she be afraid? Mama didn't care if she hurt me." Adam took a breath and looked over at him, "It wasn't about hurting you, son…she was trying not to hurt herself. She was afraid because she knew that you would easily choose Edward over her any day. She was afraid that if she said it aloud then it would be true…you loved Edward more than her. She's always wanted your love, Jasper…she just has no idea how to ask for it or how to give it in return. She's still very much like a small child in some ways. She's been searching for affection from any man she could get for as long as she remembers but what she really wanted…was your affection. So, she's been throwing horrible temper tantrums, basically." Jay's head hung low for a minute and finally he looked back up with a dimpled grin. He flicked his cigarette and just laughed, "Ya know what, Doc? With mama, I've felt like the grown up my whole life…she did act a lot like a kid and I was always cleanin up after her. But, it's my turn to be a kid for awhile…so, me and Eddie are gonna take off and go behave like some wild ass teenagers for the rest of the summer." Adam laughed and reached over, pulling Jay into a one arm man hug, "Now that sounds like an excellent plan. You boys have fun, be safe, and don't do anything too wild."


Jasper smirked at me with an evil grin while he hugged the Doc and I could tell by the look on his face, that this summer was definitely going to be way too wild for our parents taste…and I couldn't be more excited. That look went straight to my cock and I tried my best to keep my lower body pulled away as Adam reached out and hugged me too. I smiled, "Thanks for everything, Doc." He smiled back, "Anytime, boys. Just promise that you'll be safe. Your poor mom and dad have been worried sick about you two." I felt the sharp pain of guilt in my gut as I furrowed my brows and looked at the ground, "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to make them worry so much." His hand was on my shoulder as he gave me a sympathetic smile, "Edward, they're fine. Trust me…a little alone time is good for them as well. But you boys…you're theirs and they would fight to the death for either of you. Just remember that when you're ready to take off in the middle of the night…" Then he looked at Jay, "And you remember that when you're ready to start a fight. Like I said, you're smart boys, so just be safe. Now, I have to be on my way…I have a very handsome man waiting on me back home." Jay and I laughed as he hopped in his car and took off with a wave. Jay smiled at me, "Ready to get the hell outta here, darlin?" I smiled back, "Absolutely!" I threw him my car keys and leaned over for a small kiss before we jumped in the car and took off down the highway. We talked quite a bit about his visit with his mom and he told me everything that happened. He sighed as he put out a cigarette, "It's weird, y'know? I've thought of mama as nothin but bad my whole life…it's weird to think that there might be some good in there too." I sighed as I turned my body in the seat to face him, "Well, I think that…sometimes when we see people, we see them as either a good person or a bad person…but I think, the truth is, that we're all good and bad. No one is completely one or the other…we're all a little of both…in my opinion anyway." He smiled over at me, "Ya know, Eddie? You're pretty fuckin sexy when you're bein all smart like that." I could feel the familiar blush cover my cheeks as I smiled back, "Yeah?" He nodded and reached down to rub himself through his jeans, "Mmm…ya know what would be fuckin awesome right now?"


I couldn't keep my eyes off of the ever growing bulge in his jeans as I mumbled, "Hmm?" I felt my throat constrict as I gulped and instinctively licked my lips as he popped open the button on his jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper. I ran my tongue along the corners of my mouth to catch the impending drool that threatened to slide down my chin as he reached into his pants and pulled out his insanely beautiful hard cock. He smiled at me as he held his big dick in his hand, "Road head." I wanted to…Lord knows I did but I felt my cheeks burn even hotter as I glanced around and noticed that it was still not very dark outside and people might be able to see. "Um…Jay? What if…what if someone sees us?" He smirked as he began pumping his impressive cock very slowly, knowing exactly what he was doing to me as I started squirming in my seat, "C'mon, baby…ya know ya wanna suck my dick right now…taste my sweet sticky honey on your tongue…down your throat…" I tried to be inconspicous as I wiped the corner of my salivating mouth with the back of my hand. I couldn't argue with his statement…but seriously, there was an old lady driving a mini van next to us. "I do, Jay but…" He sighed as that deviant little smirk still played on his lips, "Aww sugar…you're gonna hurt his feelings. Don't ya love him no more? Just one little kiss, baby…please…" I quickly glanced around as the butterflies danced around in my stomach. I took a deep breath and whispered, "Just one kiss…" That evil smirk had never left his lips as he watched me quickly lean over the console and brush my lips against the tip of his cock before jumping back in my seat and looking around again to see if anyone had seen. He whispered, "Hey Eddie?" I bit my lip and looked over at him, my face still on fire, "Hmm?" He smiled, "Did I ever tell ya that my dick is French? You should really kiss him in his native tongue."


I rolled my eyes and laughed, "That was really cheesy, Jay! You can just tell Pierre le Cock that it's not going to happen." That damn smirk still ghosted his pretty pink lips as he shook his head, "Don't talk about him like he's not right here, Eddie…and you can just tell him that shit yourself cuz I ain't gonna be responsible for breakin his poor heart…" I laughed again as he ran his thumb over his slit and whispered, "I'm tryin, man…I'm tryin…" I shook my head and giggled, "You are absolutely ridiculous. Fine…" My mom knew a lot of French because her and my dad went to Paris before they adopted me. I use to listen to her speak it and studied it quite a bit so I decided to fuck with Jay a little. I leaned down and looked at his gorgeous, mouthwatering, ginormous cock and sighed, "Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas." I watched it twitch and harden even more as Jay groaned so I brushed my parted lips over the head and slowly slid my tongue across his weeping slit. Maybe he likes it when I speak French as much as I like it when he speaks Spanish… He let out a husky moan and whispered, "When the fuck did ya learn French?" I smiled now with a cocky smirk as I looked up at him through my lashes, "It wouldn't be any fun if I told you all my secrets, now would it, Jay?" He licked his lips and breathed out, "Say somethin else, baby." So I lifted up and brought my lips to his ear as I whispered, "Entre deux coeurs qui s'aiment, nul besoin de paroles." He moaned softly, "What did you say, Eddie?" I smirked as I looked down at his throbbing cock as it twitched against his stomach, "He knows what I said." And all thoughts of little old ladies driving mini-vans or Church busses flying down the highway suddenly became absolutely insignificant as I leaned back down and took him down my throat, swallowing around him and humming in blissful pleasure. He groaned and gripped the steering wheel with a knuckle whitening grip. I bobbed happily up and down over his hard shaft as one hand weaved into my hair and gently guided me.


It wasn't long until he moaned out my name and I felt his pure sticky honey come out in thick creamy spurts down my throat and on my tongue. I was so hard I thought I might combust if I didn't have him soon. So, I raised up and took his earlobe between my teeth as I whispered, "S'il vous plaît arrêter et me faire l'amour dure et rapide contre le mur…please…please, baby…" He groaned and mumbled, "If you wanna get fucked in a roadside bathroom somewhere, Eddie…keep on talkin…" I smiled and giggled against his neck, "Je te veux ... J'ai besoin de toi ... Je t'aime ... s'il vous plaît me faire l'amour …" He growled as he pulled off a highway exit ramp that led to a rest area mumbling things like, "Gonna get it…" and "don't know what he fuckin got himself into…" When we pulled up and came to a stop, he quickly turned the car off and then tucked himself back into his jeans. Then he reached into the console and grabbed the small bottle of lube, stuffing it into his pocket. He looked over at me and in a throaty whisper said, "C'mon, babe…" My breathing hitched as I looked around at the semi crowded rest area and my face burned as I whispered, "Here?" He had the sexiest snarl on his lips as he laughed, "Don't even try that shy shit with me right now, Eddie…get outta the fuckin car and come with me so I can fuck the ever lovin daylights outta you…" I felt the shiver of excitement roll through my body at his vulgar words… Yes sir…God, I loved it when he talked like that… I pulled my shirt down over the bulge in my jeans as I hopped out of the car. Jay quickly grabbed my hand and started pulling me along until we came to a 'Family' restroom. I didn't even have time to be confused as he yanked me inside and pushed my back against the door. I gasped as he crushed his lips to mine in a wild, ferocious kiss…teeth clanking, tongues tasting every inch of each other's mouth, lips bruising from the force… I groaned into his mouth as I heard the 'click' of the door being locked behind me. His hands snaked around my waist as mine went around his neck. I pushed against him a little and I about jizzed my pants right then and there when he slammed me back against the door with a deep growl as he continued kissing me with everything he had.


A moment later, he began walking backwards, pulling me with him as his grip on my hips never lessened. We stumbled and he dragged me as our lips and teeth and tongue continued their delicious assualt on one another. Walking was difficult with our eyes closed and bodies melted into one another but our lips only parted with small gasps as we ran into something…sink…wall…counter…before quickly reconnecting. When we eventually made it into the one stall in the small bathroom, Jay pulled away and popped the button of my jeans open before jerking my zipper open and just yanking my jeans and boxers down fiercely. I gasped as my dick sprung forth and was soon engulfed in his scorching, wet mouth. My eyes were closed as my hands went to his hair and all I could do was moan out his name over and over. My hips bucked into the wet heat before his rough fingertips gripped my hips and slammed them back against the wall of the bathroom stall as he grunted and growled around my cock. That simple forceful action caused me to see stars as I came deep down his throat. He swallowed everything I gave and seconds later, he was up on his feet again, taking my mouth to his in a brutal kiss that only helped to make my knees weak. The taste of myself mixed in with the sticky honey of his tongue caused me to groan and quickly go for his pants, repeating his actions and roughly yanking them down around his ankles…but not before I grabbed the lube from his pocket. Then both of my hands were being held against the wall above my head by the fierce grip of his fingers as he pressed his strong body into mine with another growl. The lube was taken from my hand and I heard the cap pop open as his other hand grabbed my leg and yanked it up around his waist, leaving one leg of my jeans and my shoe sitting on the floor beneath me. I groaned as my foot pressed against the opposite wall behind his back and then I felt his hot slick fingers pressing inside of me. He now had one hand on my ass, holding me firmly in place as the other one continued stretching and preparing me for imminent pleasure. I had one arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders while the other reached up and gripped the top of the bathroom stall wall behind me to provide leverage and support.


His puffy pink lips pulled away from my crimson bruised ones as he whispered, "Are you okay?" I laughed deliriously at his sweet concern because I was off in fucking Wonderland right now and he hadn't even started fucking me yet. "Yeah, baby…I'm okay." He smiled at me with that beautiful dimpled grin, "You like it rough, huh?" My cheeks were on fire but, like I said, I was drunk and delirious with pleasure, "Fuck yeah, I do." That evil smile came back as I felt him position himself at my entrance. His lips ghosted mine as he whispered, "Good…cuz I'm bout to fuck you into next week, boy…" I groaned as his lips slid around to my ear and whispered, "Tell me if you need to stop, baby…" I nodded and a second later, I felt his hard cock penetrate through my tight ring of muscle. It was the most intense, savory burn I had ever felt. I wanted more. I pushed slightly against him and we both groaned as he slipped in a little further. He entered me slowly, taking the time to make sure I was adjusted before he started moving. Once he was all the way in, my foot pushed against the wall to provide sufficient support as he began slowly moving his hips. Our chests were heaving and my body was on fire as his hips rolled up into me, pushing me hard against the wall and causing my foot on the ground to stand on my tippy toes. I strengthened my grip on the stall ledge above me and my grip around his shoulders as he started moving harder and faster. His hard cock slammed in and out of me, hitting my magic spot over and over again as his teeth and tongue devoured my neck. I wasn't capable of anything right now other than just being lost to the wonders of my beautiful lover fucking me into blissful oblivion. The sounds of grunts and growls and slapping flesh filled the small room as my toes started to curl. Jay's grip on my hips held me in place as I fought to stay upright. His hard shallow breaths and uttered curse words only helped to intensify the pleasure of being taken against a wall by the man I loved more than life itself.


My hand on his shoulder slid up into sweaty, damp curls and held on tightly. A muffled growl against my neck was quickly swallowed by my willing mouth as his lips took mine again. Over and over again, he took me hard and fast and relentless against the wall and I relished every delicious moment of it. My cock was once again hard and pulsing and I was unable to even warn Jay as I came hard on his stomach and all over his t-shirt. Moments later, his thrusts became erratic and frenzied as he groaned into my mouth and came deep inside of me. A few more long slow thrusts and he gently pulled himself out of me. My leg dropped from the wall down to the floor and I nearly fell, unable to stand on my own two feet but luckily, he held onto me tight. My arms wrapped around his shoulders and his arms around my waist as we just held each other, trying to even out our shallow breathing. Eventually, we pulled away from each other. I was still wobbly so he had to help me get my jeans and shoe back on. Then we noticed the sticky messes on our tshirts and Jay just laughed as I turned red and muttered, "Um…sorry…" He pulled his shirt off and wiped mine off as best he could. He just left his off and threw it over his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me again and whispered, "Can you walk now, baby?" I took a few tentative steps and nodded, "Um, yeah." He smiled and took my lips to his in a soft sweet kiss. When our lips parted he whispered, "I love you, Eddie." I smiled and whispered back, "I love you too, Jay." He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom, "C'mon, babe, we still got a lot of drivin to do 'fore we get a room." I followed him out and could feel the intense stares as we emerged from the bathroom. I wanted to be embarrassed…but I was still reeling from being fucked against a bathroom wall in a highway rest stop by Jasper fucking Whitlock…


Chapter Thirty-Seven Playlist: For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert Jay's POV Once we got back to the car, I lit a square and took off outta the parkin lot. Inhaling deeply and feeling completely satisfied, I couldn't help but feel like the motherfuckin shit as I looked at the beautiful bronze haired boy passed out in the passenger seat with a soft smile on his cherry lips. Yeah…I fuckin rocked that shit… I headed down the highway as dusk finally settled. I felt so fuckin free. I had never really felt that way before…there was always someone or something dictating my life for me. But now, for a little while anyway, I was my own boss…answering to no one and doin whatever the hell I wanted with my baby boy at my side. And just cuz Fate thinks it's all fuckin funny and shit…Eddie's phone started ringing in his pocket with Carlisle's ring tone. So I reached over and slid my hand into the pocket of his snug jeans…earning a soft moan and some shifting as he began to harden. I chuckled quietly as I pulled his phone out… My sweet insatiable boy… I hit the button and smiled as I spoke, "Big Daddy C! How the hell are ya?" He laughed softly, "I'm good, son. It sounds as if everything went okay today…with your mother?" "Yeah, man. Went a lot better than I thought. I was a little shocked that you had spoken to her and that the Doc was there…but all in all, it went really well." He sighed, "Yeah, I'm so sorry about not telling you, Jasper. I was just very concerned that if you knew we had spoken, then you wouldn't visit her. And I really believed the meeting would be beneficial to you both. But I do hope that I didn't upset you, son." I smiled, "No, not at all. I understand why you did it but I hope you won't keep something like that from me again, Carlisle. I know I'm a little hot headed


sometimes but I'm a big boy and I can handle myself. I appreciate you lookin out for me though." He took a deep breath, "Well, I'm glad you're not upset…however, I do have some news that may potentially upset you." I felt a knot arise in my stomach cuz I wasn't sure what to expect with all the crazy shit that happened in my life. "What is it?" "Your father called this afternoon." Of course he did… I felt that familiar nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sighed, "How bad is it, Carlisle?" He let out a breath and spoke, "Well, he spoke with Esme and she said he was quite upset. Apparently, one of your cousins told him that you ran off with some girl. He asked her if you had been dating anybody when you lived with us. Of course, she told him that you weren't dating any girls that she knew of…" I groaned, "Was he rude to Esme?" He sighed, "Well…let's just say that she can handle herself too, son, so don't worry. She did say that he seemed rather worried about you though." That made me laugh, not humorously but still. "That's not all, son…." I took a deep breath and braced myself, "What else?" "Um…I guess that some girl told him that she saw you and a boy leave in a car with Washington tags." "Who the fu…hell would've told him that?" He sounded exhausted as he spoke, "He didn't say. He's not sure who to believe but I imagine he will be showing up here at some point." "I'm really sorry, Carlisle. I don't want you guys involved in my bullsh…stuff." He chuckled a little and yawned, "S'okay, son…" I decided to change the subject, "So, um…how's Charlotte? I haven't heard anything for a couple of days."


"She's…hanging in there longer than the doctors had expected…but I'm afraid it won't be much longer." "What about Peter? Is he…doin alright?" He sighed, "He's managing as best he can. He's got a lot of support and he's one tough old man so he'll pull through this. Emmett and Brady have been spending a lot of time with him…helping him get things done and trying to keep his mind off things." I smiled a little at that thought…I really needed to call them. Then my mind came back to my dad, "Hey, do you know if my dad has called me in as a runaway or anything?" "He didn't mention it to Esme but I'll have Charlie check for me tomorrow and let you know." "Thanks, man." We talked a little longer about my visit with my mom and how Edward was doing. I gave him a little shit about kissing a guy at that frat party and he laughed, saying that he had forgotten exactly why he had done that but he still had the pictures in an album somewhere. I made him promise to show me sometime. By the time we got off the phone, I was completely tuckered out. So, I pulled over at a Days Inn and got us a room for the night. I had to practically drag Edward in the room…I must've really worn his ass out cuz he didn't wanna wake up. He curled up on the bed completely clothed with even his shoes on and was out again by the time I brought the last of our bags in. So, I pulled off his shoes and managed to get him out of his jeans without waking him. I pulled the blanket from underneath him and covered him up before I hopped in the shower. Once I was done getting ready for bed, I decided to give Jeremiah a call to see if he knew anything more than what Carlisle had told me. Clad in only a pair of sweats, I walked out onto the balcony and lit a cigarette as I waited for him to answer. "Big cock, Whitlock…Jeremiah speakin'…"


I chuckled, "What the fuck would you have done if this was gran ma callin?" He laughed now, "Shit, son, granny always says that gran pa had the biggest cock of us all…" I smiled, "Sounds like granny." "So, I guess ya heard bout your daddy lookin for ya?" I sighed, "Yeah, I heard. Thanks for tryin to cover for me. Do y'know who told him that I left with a guy in a car with Washington tags?" He huffed, "Who the fuck do ya think, Cuz? That fuckin Kaycee bitch! Just thank your lucky stars that she didn't see ya'll kissin." I was truly very thankful for that little tidbit. "Yeah, I shoulda fuckin known…" He chuckled a little, "Don't worry bout it, man. I got her back for ya…told her that if she didn't shut the fuck up bout ya…I was gonna get ya to press charges for statutory rape and shit…" I laughed, "Dude, we didn't do anything!" I could practically hear the smirk in his voice, "Shit, son…it don't matter cuz that nasty bitch fucks with them young'uns all the time…I'm buddies with the local sheriff's son…I threatened to get the hooker locked up…" I rolled my eyes with a laugh, "Do you know everybody in that god damn town?" "Yup." I laughed and he continued talkin, "So, how's the road trip goin? Ya doin okay? Ya done bein all emo and shit since ya got your…ya know…dude back?" I shook my head with a chuckle, "Yeah…I'm happy I got my dude back, Cuz." He sighed, "Well that's good…he seems like an alright guy." I smiled as I looked at my beautiful boy curled up on the bed, "Yeah, he's…a really good guy." He laughed, "So…he got a sister or somethin? I need me a doctor's daughter…the kid must be loaded." I rolled my eyes again, "No, he ain't got no sister. And, yeah, his family's well off but he's not, like, stuck up or nothin…and I don't like him cuz of his money…"


He chuckled again, "Pull your panties out your ass, man…I was just fuckin with ya…ya don't wear panties, do ya? Y'know what? I don't wanna know…" "Fuck no, I don't wear panties, fucker! I'm all fuckin man…" He laughed again, "So, he's the chick, huh? Well, he is kinda pretty…" I just shook my head and laughed, "You're a silly mother fucker…anyway, how's it goin with you? Your chick doin alright with the baby?" He sighed, "Shit, Cuz, she's pissed as hell at me bout joinin the army…thinks I'm leavin her and shit…" "Sorry, Cuz…that sucks." "Yeah…but the baby's doin alright. We'll find out what it is at the end of the week 'fore I leave for boot camp." I groaned internally…I hated that he was leavin. "I'll call again 'fore ya leave…take this number…it's Eddie's but he won't care bout you callin me…" He chuckled, "I dunno, man…if I was your dude, I'd be fuckin pissed at havin someone as good lookin as I am callin…" I laughed again, "You ain't got shit on Eddie, fucker." "Whatever…ya know if I wasn't your Cuz…you'd fuckin want me." "Jeremiah…you got serious issues, man." He chuckled again, "Shit, son…tell me somethin I don't know." I heard somebody yell "Fire in the hole!" in the background and Jeremiah laughed, "Hey I gotta go, man…take care of yourself and I'll call ya if I hear anythin else." "Alright, take care of yourself…later, Cuz." "Later, Cuz." I hung up the phone and flicked my cigarette over the edge of the balcony. I heard some rustling from behind me and turned to see Edward stretch his arms above his head and yawn while sitting up in bed. His voice was rough with sleep as he looked around hazily and whispered, "Jay?"


I opened the patio door and walked back into the darkened room, "I'm here, Eddie." I could see his beautiful crooked grin even in the darkness, "Hey, babe…what are you doing?" I pulled back the blanket and slipped in next to him, "Nothing, baby…I was just talkin to Jeremiah." He laid back down and snuggled into my arms with his back to my chest and his ass pressed into me. I wrapped my arms around him and played with his soft silky hair as he gently ran his velvet fingertips up and down my forearm. He whispered with a contented sigh, "Mmm…is everything okay?" I pressed my lips into the back of his neck and kissed it softly, "Yeah…my, um…dad is lookin for me…" He turned and looked at me with wide emerald eyes, "Did he…does he know…" I shook my head slightly, "No, baby…he don't know where I'm at. Everyone's doin their best to cover for me…" He turned completely in my arms now and his hands cupped my cheeks as he whispered, "Jay? At the end of the summer if…well, if he…I would run…you know I would run away with you, right? Anywhere…I'd follow you anywhere." I know you would, Eddie…but even I'm not selfish enough for that… But I knew how he would react if I tried to fight with him on it, so I just smiled and pulled his lips to mine, "I know you would, baby…" At the end of the summer, I would have to decide what I was gonna do if nothing had changed my dad's mind…but whatever I did, Edward would be staying in Forks with his family and friends…he would finish high school there…I was fuckin certain about that. And I was done talkin about it…wastin precious time with Eddie that could be coming to an end sooner than either of us wanted…so I kissed him deep and made love to him until we both fell into an exhausted but completely satisfied sleep. The next morning, we were both practically runnin out the door, anxious to get to the cabin and relax the rest of the summer. We were fuckin giddy with excitement as we passed the state line into Michigan. Windows down and music blaring, we laughed and talked about all the stuff we wanted to do this summer. He wanted to get some kind of a tan…but I was


damn near tempted to sabotage his tanning lotion with sun block cuz I loved his creamy, pale skin just the way it was. I just wanted to have as much fun as we possibly could before going back to reality. When we were about an hour out from the cabin, I decided to give Em a call to thank him for everything and to tell him I was sorry for not callin him sooner. "What's up, fucker?" "It's about time you called me ya fucking asshole!" he answered with a laugh, his voice booming just as loud as I remembered. I laughed, "Sorry, man…I was bein an asshole…I shoulda called you sooner." He sighed, "Yeah, you should've…so, what's been going on, Jay?" I told him about everything that happened in Texas and how fucked up my head was, thinkin that none of them would wanna be bothered with me anymore. He scolded me, "That's total bullshit, Jasper. I have a lot of acquaintances, man…but I don't have many friends. You're on that short list, fucker…you're like a little fucking brother to me, Jay, and no matter where you are…that's not going to change. Remember that…douche." I chuckled, "I will…dickhead. I'm…really fuckin sorry, man. It won't happen again." I could hear the smile in his voice, "Well, alrighty then…so, how ya doing, man?" And just like that, it was like nothing ever happened. Emmett was one of those rare people in life that don't judge you or hold things over your head…when he forgave, he forgot, just that simple. He was a really good friend…a real friend and I wouldn't forget that again. We talked for a little longer and he told me that they were planning on coming down for a couple weeks towards the end of the summer. I was pretty psyched cuz I really wanted to see them all. I had missed hangin out with them. When we hung up the phone I was feelin a whole lot better about everything. Eddie and I pulled up to the Post Office about an hour later. We were really fuckin excited to get the keys and stuff to the cabin. So, when the woman behind the counter gave us a big cardboard box, Eddie and I looked at each other curiously cuz it was way bigger than it should be for some keys.


Eddie smiled as he read the side, "Hey, it says Happy Birthday on it. Em must've sent us a birthday present." I smiled, "That was real nice. What do ya think it is?" I picked it up and shook it as he laughed and grabbed it back. "Only one way to find out…" he grabbed the end of the masking tape and began peeling it off. Once the top was opened, he pulled out a small envelope that had some keys and details about when the cleaning crew came and the security information. Then he pulled out a smaller box that was kind of long…like maybe a wine bottle or something. It was wrapped real pretty with a big red bow on it. Eddie bit his lip as he took the top off. I peeked inside, "What is it?" He shrugged at the crinkled paper he saw and reached his hand inside. He furrowed his brows, "What the hell is this?" The next thing I know, he was waving a big hot pink dildo around as everyone around us gasped, laughed, and covered their children's eyes. Okay, I was the main person laughing but that shit was funny as fuck. Eddie gasped and immediately turned red, all the way through to the tips of his ears. He just stood there, holding it with wide green eyes and a look of pure horror on his face. I was laughin pretty hard but when I heard a kid say, "Mommy, look…they do make pink light sabers!"… Yeah, I fuckin lost it and was in hysterics now. Eddie quickly tried to hide the dildo behind his back but then we heard another child, "Ouch! Mommy, he hit me in the eye with that light saber!" Eddie turned and I looked behind him to see a little boy, maybe five years old, standing there with his hand over his eye and pointing at Edward. Eddie started stammering as he held his hands up to the mama giving him the mean stare, "I'm so sorry…I didn't see him there…this…isn't even mine!" He was stuttering as he shook the dildo at the woman who grabbed up the child and turned tail outta there.


I heard some young woman in line mutter, "Damn…their fudge packers…" Then the little girl in front of her who had been excited about the pink light saber, tugged at her mama's dress and asked, "Mommy, what's a fudge packer? I love fudge! Do they use that pink light saber to stir the fudge?" The shocked woman said something about how we were similar to Keebler elves and I lost it again. But poor Eddie was havin it hard as he stood embarrassment, still holding onto that hot pink dildo.

there, frozen

with

I managed to get myself down to a chuckle now cuz seriously, I bet the poor Doc would be hearin about this incident for years to come from my now troubled boyfriend. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried not to laugh as I said, "Breathe, darlin. Give me the dildo." He gulped and slowly handed me the damn thing like he was in slow motion. I had to pry it from his fingers as he gripped it with white knuckles. I managed to stifle my laughter as I spoke softly again, "Give me the dildo, Edward." He finally released his fingers and stood there rigid as I put it back in the smaller box and threw that box in the bigger one. I tucked it under my arm just as a man came out and asked us to leave and never return. I nodded and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him along behind me as we ran outta there and to the car. I opened his door cuz he was still frozen with shock. Once he was in, I threw the box in the back and hopped in on my side. I was cautious as I spoke, "Um, Eddie? Ya okay, babe?" Even his ears were red as he turned to me and huffed, "I can't believe he did that to me! A dildo! A fucking hot pink dildo! I pulled it out in front of everybody! I have never been more mortified!" I had to wipe the tears from my eyes as I smiled at my pissed as hell boy who was sitting there with his arms crossed across his chest and a scowl that was even fuckin sexy. "Aww…baby, it ain't that bad…we got a new toy to play with…" He rolled his eyes, "I hit a child in the eye with it, Jay."


I chuckled as I reached out and took his hands, "Babe? You ain't ever gonna see none of these people again. It happened, baby, ain't nothin you can do now but let it go. Would it make you feel better to call Em and cuss him out?" He nodded. So I reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone. I found Em in the contacts and hit 'send' before handing the phone to him. He took the phone and I looked back in the box and pulled out a piece of paper with Em's messy scrawl on it… So, Jay, you remember when you embarrassed the hell out of me at the drug store for embarrassing Eddie? Revenge is a dish best served cold. Have fun dealing with a seriously pissed off Edward, fucker. Happy Birthday Boys! LMFAO-Em I laughed as I slipped the note back in the box and heard Eddie screaming into the phone. "Emmett William McCarty! What the hell? I cannot believe you did that to me! You just wait…when you get down here…you are in so much trouble! Jay's got my back! You're in for a world of pain, McCarty!" I was fuckin rollin now as Eddie let Em have it. I could hear Em laughing on the other end and that only enraged Eddie more. "You think it's funny? Pink! It was hot fucking pink! The children thought it was a light saber! I damn near put a child's eye out with the thing! You are dead! With a capital D-E-A-D! Oh that's it! I'm calling Rosalie right now and telling her about that red head you saw when we went out a few weeks ago! You remember? The one you said had an awesome set of tits?" I heard Em yell out, "Dude? Dude? Calm the fuck down! No need to get my junk castrated! Rose will have my fucking balls, man! I'm sorry!" Edward sat there with a smug smile on his face as he started calming down, "Thank you for the apology." I just shook my head and took off for the cabin while they continued talkin for a few minutes. By the end of the conversation, they were both laughin again. He hung up and smiled at me, "We've still got to get him good when they get down here. You've got my back, right?" I smiled and took his hand, "I got your back, babe…and your front."


He rolled his eyes and chuckled. He had finally calmed down and was smiling again when we pulled down a long drive that went up into the side of a big hill. It was surrounded by trees and very secluded. When we finally pulled up to the driveway, I silently thanked God for givin me rich friends. The house was amazing...not huge, but beautiful. It was a very modern version of a log cabin nestled in the trees. Eddie gasped as he looked up, "Wow! This is awesome!" I couldn't contain my grin as I grabbed the box behind me and jumped outta the car, "C'mon, Eddie! Let's go check this shit out!" He quickly followed as I ran up about twenty steps to the front door. I pulled out the keys and the security codes and a few seconds later, we walked inside. I dropped the box off in the front entryway and looked around in awe. The living room was pretty big with a fluffy lookin couch and recliner in front of a great big stone fireplace. There was a huge TV and entertainment center along the wall on the other end. I grabbed Eddie's hand as we wandered through the rest of the house, checkin things out. There was a game room with a pool table, darts, and a fully stocked bar. There were three bedrooms, the master had a nice garden tub and I laughed when I saw the mirror above the bed. Em's dad is a freak…hooray for me and Eddie! We walked through the kitchen and found our way to some patio doors. When we stepped out back, we just stood there and stared at the orange sun starting to slowly melt away over the lake. There was a huge in-ground pool and hot tub…but down the side of the hill, there was a private beach. I was so fuckin ready to get this summer started! Apparently, Eddie was too cuz he smiled at me with that beautiful little crooked grin, "Let's go get our stuff and get settled in!" I nodded and after two trips to the car, we had everything inside of the cabin. Eddie was busy organizing shit so I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and just watched the water…it was really calming and peaceful. A few minutes later, I threw my cigarette in the ash tray and headed back to the master bedroom to see if Eddie needed any help.


He had almost everything done by the time I got there and I laughed as I saw him lying on the bed, staring at himself in the mirror. I smiled too as he patted the bed and said, "Come here, Jay." So I kicked off my shoes and laid down next to him. He leaned up on one elbow and looked at my long body stretched out beside him. He bit that crimson plump lip and whispered, "Want to fuck?" I smirked as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him on top of me, fully enjoying the view in the mirror above me, "You know I wanna fuck, Eddie." He giggled as he smiled shyly at me and whispered, "I've always wanted to try something…close your eyes and stay very still…" My dick twitched a little but I closed my eyes and felt his velvet fingertips pulling my arms from around his waist and lifting them back on the bed, stretched out above my head. I felt the bed shift as he must've been reaching for something. He giggled again, "No peeking, Jay!" I couldn't help the dimpled grin that I wore cuz that fuckin giggle did something strange to me. I was ready for whatever my baby boy wanted to do…until I felt the familiar cold steel lock around my wrist…then the other. My eyes flashed open as I tugged my hands but they wouldn't budge. He had handcuffed me through the slats in the headboard. "Edward? What the hell?" He looked at me all innocently with those big green puppy dog eyes, "It happened, baby…there's nothing you can do about it now, honey, so let it go…" The lil' fucker was mockin me! He leaned down with one elbow on my chest as used his other hand to tease my nipples through my t-shirt and hummed, "Hmm…now that I have you…whatever shall I do with you?" I pulled at the cuffs again cuz I like to have my control and this shit was fuckin me up. He smiled, "Baby, don't hurt yourself…I'm trying to help you, Jay. I think it would be good for you to give up your control completely and trust someone


else fully with your body…that 'someone' being me. You know I won't hurt you…relax, baby." I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths as he continued runnin his fingers all over my chest. I finally opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow, "Where'd you get the cuffs, Edward?" Cuz these fuckers weren't budging like that plastic bullshit…these were real handcuffs. He smirked and shrugged, "I lifted them from a security guard at the psych ward…" Now my eyes were wide, "Eddie! What the hell? You coulda got in a lotta trouble for that!" He rolled his eyes, "Said the boy who committed a felony right in front of me…breaking and entering…ring a bell, sweetheart?" I half huffed, half chuckled, "You're an asshole…" He smiled again as he batted his long pretty eyelashes at me, "No, baby…you're the asshole…I'm the sweet, innocent one…" I laughed now and quit struggling against the cuffs, "Innocent, my ass…okay, baby boy…I'm yours…do with me what you will…" He smiled as he ran his fingers through my curls, "That's a good boy…" I rolled my eyes and he chuckled as he straddled me and took my lips to his. He kissed me deep and hard as he rolled his hips into mine, causing my cock to quickly respond. He moved down my jaw, nipping and sucking and licking…I craned my neck to give him better access as I gripped onto the headboard for support and started rolling my hips underneath his. Small moans and grunts and sighs filled the room as he devoured my neck and dry humped the hell outta me. He raised above me on all fours as his hooded emerald eyes bore into mine. His hands gripped my shirt at the neck and he began tugging with a few grunts of frustration. I raised an eyebrow, "Um, babe? Are ya tryin to rip my shirt off?"


He sighed with another frustrated grunt and tug, "Yes! What the hell is this shirt made out of?" Finally, I was chuckling and he mumbled in annoyance, "Oh holy hell…" Then he reached over and opened the nightstand drawer, pulling out a small pair of scissors with a look of satisfaction in his eyes. He snipped the top and threw the scissors back in the drawer before sitting up on me and ripping the shirt right down the middle this time. I laughed at his proud smile and just shook my head, "You're the motherfuckin, man, babe." He laughed now too and lowered his head again, continuing his kisses and licks and nips along my chest…my nipples…and traveling down to my stomach. By the time he reached my happy trail, I was fuckin aching. I lifted my hips so he could tug off my jeans and boxers…my thick cock bouncing lightly against my stomach as I moaned softly. Edward smiled against my hipbone as he sucked it before he leaned over and trailed his lips right above my cock. He whispered and I could feel the warmth of his breath against my heated skin, "Bon jour, Pierre…" We both laughed softly until he started torturing me again, leaving poor Pierre just hangin…well, not really hangin…but whatever…he skipped Pierre completely and continued his exploration of my body with his tongue and teeth. I moaned out, "Please, baby…suck my dick…c'mon, Eddie…please…" He looked up from between my legs where he was sucking on the inside of my thighs, "I already have you bound, Love…don't make me gag and blindfold you too." I moaned and tightened my fingers around the headboard as he worked his tongue all over my body, eventually ending back in between my legs where he lifted them onto his shoulders. I gasped as I felt his tongue start circling my hole before plunging into it. "Oh fuck!" I pulled at those fuckin cuffs again and growled cuz my dick was leakin and throbbin and probably cussing me out in a foreign language.


My eyes were clenched shut cuz I couldn't take much more as my hips bucked against his tongue over and over again. I heard the top to the lube pop open and figured Eddie was getting ready to finally fuck me…but my eyes shot open and I fuckin screamed out when I felt him engulf my dick in that hot little mouth of his while something began pressing into me. I looked in the mirror above the bed and saw Eddie workin that hot pink dildo inside of me while he took me down his throat and hummed. My head began thrashing from side to side cuz this shit felt so fuckin good…there were no fuckin words… He was hittin my magic spot now as he worked the dildo hard and fast inside of me and sucked my dick like a motherfuckin champ. My arms were weak from straining against those cuffs but I dug my heels into the bed and moved against the dildo and his mouth…two sources of extreme pleasure. Another few strokes and I was seein stars as I shot my load deep down his throat and clenched around the dildo. He swallowed happily around me until I was so fuckin sensitive that I wanted to scream for him to stop…but that shit ain't gonna happen so I bit my lip to keep me screamin. His movements were slower now, more gentle as he moved the dildo slowly in and out of me and licked my semi hard cock up and down until I was standin at full fuckin attention again. He removed the dildo and I fuckin whimpered as my cock pulsed again… He released my cock from his mouth and stood up, slowly removing his clothes as I watched with hooded eyes. Once he was naked, he smiled that crooked grin I love so much and climbed on top of me. He leaned down and kissed me gently as he whispered, "As I was saying…there's something I want to try…" I giggled now, "You mean fuckin me and suckin my dick at the same time wasn't it?" He giggled too and shook his head, "No…this is what I wanted to try…" He pulled away from me and I watched as he turned over, lying his back against my chest and his head on my shoulder.


He grabbed the lube and reached down to stroke my cock while I watched us in the mirror. He wants to try it from behind…he needs to feel in control…that's why I'm cuffed…fuck, this psycho analysis shit must be rubbin off from the Doc… I dug my heels into the mattress again as he guided my cock to his ass. I just held my legs still as he slowly started moving down against my cock. His ass was the tightest, hottest, most incredible thing I had ever felt…but fuck, I really wanted to wrap my arms around him too. But I understood that he needed to have complete control of this situation so I gave it all to him. Once my cock was fully sheathed inside him, we both moaned as his head turned sideways to mine and took my lips to his in a passionate, wet, deep kiss. I gripped onto the headboard as I slowly started coming up to meet his hips rolling down onto me. When we weren't kissing…we were watching. I watched as his hand slid down and wrapped around his own length, slowly pumping himself in time to us. The sight of him above me…seeing my cock slide in and out of his pretty ass…watching his fingers turn and twist up and down his cock…his shallow breathing as he was coming to the edge …it was quickly becoming too much and I knew I was gonna cum soon. Just moments later, I felt his ass clench around me and watched as he came in thick white spurts across his stomach and chest…his mouth opened and eyes closed as he moaned out my name. That's all it took for my eyes to clamp shut and my cock to erupt deep inside of him while I moaned his name softly over and over again. I was panting as he collapsed completely against my chest and I just enjoyed the warmth of his body above me as I kept my eyes shut and tried to regain my breathing. A few minutes later, I whispered, "Thank you, Eddie…that was amazing, baby…" He didn't respond. My eyes opened and looked in the mirror above me to see my beautiful bronze haired boy…fast asleep. Now this normally isn't a problem but since I was still cuffed…yeah, big fuckin problem. My cock had softened and slipped out of him so I bucked my hips up and grunted, "Edward…baby, wake up…"


The lil' fucker just curls to his side while still on top of me and cuddles to my chest. I chuckle and do it again but speak a little louder, "Eddie! Dude, I'm still handcuffed!" He snorts and sucks in a breath as his head lifts and his hazy eyes look around for a second in confusion. I start laughing now as he smiles sheepishly and turns bright red, "Um…sorry, Jay." He reaches over and grabs some keys from the nightstand before undoing the cuffs and setting me free. He frowns a little at the red rings around my wrist and I smile, "Don't even think about feelin bad for that, Eddie…you replaced some very bad memories of these red rings…with a fuckin awesome memory…so thank you, babe." He smiled now and kisses my wrists, "Thank you, Jay. I love you." I finally wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him too. He cuddles up to me and whispers, "Let's take a nap…then we can grocery shop and grab some dinner when we wake up, okay?" I smile, "Grocery shop? You don't expect me to cook, do you?" He smiles against my chest, "I could go for a honey covered blondie…" I smile now as I feel my eyes getting heavy, "Oh…well, okay…we'll go grocery shoppin…sweet dreams, darlin…" I hear him whisper, "Good night, babe." And my last thoughts before I drift into an exhausted and well satisfied sleep… This is only the beginning of your summer, Jay…you too Pierre…lucky, lucky boy…


Chapter Thirty-Eight Eddie's POV I opened my eyes, sleepily, and smiled as I felt him shift underneath me. I looked down to see him scratching his balls in his sleep and I chuckled because he was beautiful even when he did that. I laid there for awhile, watching him as he mumbled softly about buffalo wings and his dick twitched. Watching Jasper sleep was one of my favorite things to do. He was funny as he dreamt and mumbled…and sometimes he was insanely sexy as he moaned and reached for his hard erection. Whatever he did, he was always simply breathtaking. I brushed the golden curls away from his face so I could revel in his perfection. The boy had good reason to be so damn cocky. I brushed my fingertips down his jaw and noticed that it felt a little scratchier. He was starting to get facial hair. That made my dick twitch a little. I reached up and ran my fingers down my own chin…smooth as a baby's bottom. I sighed heavily wondering if I would ever catch up to him. Even though we were the same age, he always seemed so much older than me…more mature. He was still a few inches taller than me and I know he outweighed me. The fear settled in as my mind wandered. I wondered if he would ever want someone who was as mature as he was…someone who mirrored his confidence and coolness. Is coolness a word? Hell, I don't know but I understood what it meant. Jay was the coolest boy I had ever known. I smiled as I thought back to the first time I met him and how my mind reeled at the fact that he was actually speaking to me. This perfect, beautiful, cool boy…wanted to be my friend. It was more than I ever imagined just to have him as a friend…the thought of ever losing him as a friend or lover sent waves of panic through me. The thought that when this summer was over, he may have to leave again, only helped to make my stomach knot more. Luckily, before I had time to throw myself into a full blown panic attack, his eyes opened and I was graced with that perfect dimpled grin.


Immediately, my nerves settled even as my heart raced…but it raced for different reasons now. "You been awake long, darlin?" I shook my head as I smiled down at him, "No, Jay…not long. You want to take a shower before we go shopping? I thought maybe we could stop for some pizza and buffalo wings?" He chuckled as he sat up and stretched, "Talkin in my sleep again, huh?" I nodded, "Yeah." We both got out of bed and hopped in the shower. We took our time and washed each other as we kissed and caressed. I loved shower time with Jay. Once we got out of the shower, he threw on a pair of faded jeans that hugged his ass in all the right places. They were worn very badly and it amazed me how good he could look without even really putting any effort into it. He pulled on a gray t-shirt and as he was pulling on his shoes, he smiled at me, "I'm gonna step out back and have a smoke while you're gettin ready, okay?" I smiled at him before glaring at the image in the mirror, "Okay, Jay." I still didn't know what he saw in me. He was the beautiful one with his golden curls and baby blue eyes…all sunshine and ethereal magnificence. I sighed as I tugged at my hair, willing it to do something…anything. I looked at my skin…no longer completely pale but marked with rosy patches as I figured out that tanning was not in my genes. I stood and looked at my body with only the towel wrapped around me. My body paled significantly with Jasper's. I was shorter, skinnier…I didn't have as much tone and definition as he had. His arms were something to behold and his stomach and abs were rock hard but not overly obnoxious like Em's. He was naturally beautiful. Trying to escape the emo thoughts in my head, I shook it for good measure and left the bathroom to get ready. When I was finished dressing, I walked out back to find Jay sitting in a patio chair, watching the moon out over the water. He seemed lost in it and I took a moment to appreciate him fully. The soft glow of the moonlight played along the honey highlights in his hair…his pink, plump lips wrapping around the end of that lucky cigarette before parting and watching the hazy white smoke billow into the air.


I licked my lips and didn't notice as a soft sigh left my throat…he noticed though as his eyes snapped to mine. They were dark…a sea of navy and gray. I loved how his eyes would tend to match his shirt at times…or they would mirror his mood. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking about but the words escaped me as his eyes captured me with their intensity. A moment later, he was stubbing out his cigarette and stalking over to me…with dangerous grace and sinful beauty that made my heart beat a little harder. Before I could catch my breath, I was being pushed against the patio door while his mouth melted into mine. He tasted like honey and smoke…it doesn't sound nearly as intoxicating as it actually is. I felt my leg hitch around his waist, apparently having a mind of its own. He kissed me thoroughly and hungrily…savagely claiming me as his own as he dominated me. I smiled on the inside because I knew what he was doing…reclaiming his power and control. After giving it all to me earlier, he was claiming what was rightfully his…me. When I felt like my lungs might burst and my cock might break the zipper on my jeans, he pulled away, breathless and beautiful. He smiled as he kissed me once more, a soft peck on the lips, before pulling away and rasping out, "Ready?" A little dazed and confused still, I simply nodded as he laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me along behind him as we left. He hopped in the driver's seat and smiled, "So, ya wanna eat first then go to, like, Wal-Mart or somethin?" I shrugged, "Sure." After driving through the back roads a few minutes, we hit a main road filled with restaurants, clubs, and stores. We chatted a little about stupid things as we drove, keeping each other happy and laughing. I saw his eyes light up and he smiled, "Want Mexican food instead? There's a restaurant up here that looks good…" I smiled back, "Sure, that's fine with me." A minute later, we were parking at the restaurant and walking in. I looked around at the rundown place and nudged Jay, "Um, are you sure this place will be any good? It looks kind of…"


He smirked at me, "Yeah, man, these hole in the wall joints always have the best food. Trust me, babe." I nodded with a minimal amount of hesitation. A Hispanic woman, maybe in her thirties, walked out and smiled as she grabbed some menus and said something that I couldn't understand. I felt a twinge of jealousy at the way she looked at my boyfriend…the whore was eye fucking him right in front of me! I crossed my arms and scowled at Jasper as he flashed her that dimpled grin and started speaking back to her in Spanish. As the words rolled off his wicked tongue, I willed my dick to stop reacting when I was so valiantly trying to be pissed. I followed along behind them and sat down in the booth with an exasperated huff as they chatted like old friends. He slid in across from me and totally ignored me as he pulled out his wallet and flashed her his ID. I was a little confused but about to flip my lid as she blushed and started giggling. Finally, he acknowledged my existence with that stupid sexy dimpled smirk, "What'cha wanna drink, babe?" I scowled again and muttered, "Whatever." He turned back to Senorita Hoe-Bag and spoke again. She giggled again as I wanted to scream… Go do your fucking job, Bimbo and leave my man alone! A minute later she turned and walked away. Jasper turned those stupid pretty blue eyes to me and reached out his hand, "Aww, darlin…don't be mad at me. I was just bein' friendly." I rolled my eyes and looked away as I mumbled, "Friendly my ass…" Now he reached both hands across the table and whispered, "C'mon, baby boy…you know I only want you. I love you, Eddie…please look at me." I tried to calm myself down and keep in mind that the love of my life, was a natural born flirt. He probably didn't even realize he was flirting… I turned and looked at him with furrowed brows as I whispered back harshly, "Do you even realize how hard you were flirting with that…woman?" The asshole chuckled a little and leaned back in his seat with a smug smile on his face, "Yup."


Now my blood was boiling and I was about to go off on him when the skank returned with our drinks. She placed my soda on the table and I did a double take as she put a bottle of Corona with a lime in front of Jay. I was taken aback and the second she left, I leaned across the table and whispered, "What the hell? She gave you beer? You're only 16...you even showed her your ID." The cocky bastard gave me that devious little smirk again that shot straight to my traitorous cock. He picked up the bottle and winked, "I can be very charmin' when I wanna be, Sugar." He took a long pull from the beer as I sat there dumbfounded. Eventually I snapped out of it and responded, "You flirted with her because you wanted beer?" He shrugged, "I didn't mean to piss ya off, Eddie…but yeah, I really wanted a beer. C'mon, babe…ya know I'm yours so come on over here and claim me, pretty boy." He threw his free arm up on the back of the booth and gestured to the spot next to him. I wanted to stay mad, I really did…but those damn dimples called to me and before I even knew what I was doing, I was sitting next to him. I didn't look at him though as I kept my arms firmly crossed over my chest in defiance. I felt his soft curls against my cheek and then his smooth lips on my neck as he whispered, "You can't stay mad at me, Eddie…" I gulped as his warm lips pressed against my neck and that silky tongue flicked out. I suppressed a moan as he sucked gently and whispered, "You taste so good…" I cleared my throat but it didn't help as I rasped a little breathlessly, "Bbut…you showed her your ID…she knows you're only 16..." He chuckled while his lips and tongue continued working my neck, "My ID says 18, baby…and I was just showin it to her so her boss could see that she carded me…" I couldn't stop the soft moan now as he bit down at the juncture of my neck and shoulder, "B-b-but…that's illegal…what if…" I couldn't think clearly at all as his hand slid in-between my legs and rubbed my inner thighs. I clenched my eyes shut so I wouldn't jump on top of him and he chuckled again as I felt his fingers pulling my chin towards him. I felt his


strong velvet lips brush against mine as he whispered, "But I thought you liked bad boys, baby…there ain't ever been a boy as bad as me…" Then his hand wrapped around my hard cock through the denim of my jeans and squeezed lightly. I groaned and opened my mouth to his. Fire coursed through my veins…especially the one in my cock and I completely forgot what I had been so upset about. That was until I heard a small gasp and I broke free from my Jasper induced haze, panting and breathless to see the wide shocked eyes of the waitress staring at us. I gulped and Jasper just chuckled a little and smiled at her as he spoke those damn Spanish words that didn't help the situation in my jeans. I watched him work his magic as I sat there still completely dumbfounded. A minute later she was giggling and blushing again. Jay nudged me and whispered, "She thinks you're cute…you wanna beer? I'm sure I can get her to give you one…" I shook my head and cleared my raspy throat, "Um, no…I'm good with my Coke, thanks." He shrugged and asked, "Well, what do ya wanna eat, babe?" I just played with the straw wrapper in my hands as I looked down at the table. I mumbled, "Um…I don't care, you know what I like…" I was feeling very self conscious because I had no idea what they were talking about and even though the restaurant was relatively empty, I felt like people were staring. A minute later, she had taken the order and left. I turned to Jay and whispered, "What did you guys talk about?" He smirked and whispered, "Apparently she has a thing for younger men…I told her we were into threesomes with older chicks, hell, we may not even have to pay." I scowled again, "How could you tell her that? Do you really want her?"


He grimaced, "Fuck no, Edward! I was just tryin to get her to serve me alcohol! I, sure as fuck, ain't ever gonna share you! Seriously, babe…do you really think I could ever want anyone but you? " I looked down at the table again and shrugged. He pulled my chin up and his baby blue eyes gazed into mine, "Eddie…I'm sorry, okay. I'll stop flirtin' right now. I didn't think you'd take it so seriously…I mean, you and me…we could get practically anything we wanted if we put our heads together. Just like Tony Montana…the world is ours." I furrowed my brows and muttered, "Who's he? Some guy back in Texas?" He started laughing now and became animated, "You don't know who Tony Mon-fucking-tana is? Scarface? Al Pacino? Really?" I shrugged again, "I know who Al Pacino is. Was that a movie he played in or something?" He smiled, "Dude! We are so buying Scarface tonight! You gotta watch that shit! You're all into bad boys and shit…Tony Montana is the ultimate bad guy! I can't believe you haven't seen it!" I mumbled as the heat rose in my cheeks, "My parents wouldn't really let me watch stuff like that." The waitress came back now and placed our food in front of us with a wink and my face burned hotter. Jasper spoke to her again and even though I ached to know what he said as the twinge of jealousy pulled at me…my dick still responded as it quickly hardened again. His hand was on my thigh and when he felt it, he looked over at me with a smirk. Once the hussy left again, I started picking at my steak fajitas as he rubbed my thigh. He leaned over and whispered with his lips grazing my ear, "Te amo, Edward. Amo la forma que te pones colorado cuando te apeno. Amo la forma que te pones atrevido cuando te caliento. Adoro que tu pito sabe exactamente lo que estoy diciendo ahora mismo. Cuando llegamos a la casa, te voy a coger tan duro que no vas a conocer to propio nombre... pero tienes que saber esto ... Yo voy a pasar todo los dias amando todo de ti, siempre." I shuddered as my cock grew impossibly harder at his seductive Spanish words. I gulped and whispered, "What did you say?" He chuckled softly and kissed my cheek before pulling away, "Pedro Cockriguez knew exactly what I was sayin."


Now I started laughing as I turned and looked at him drinking the last of his beer, "Pedro? Really?" He shrugged, "Hey if I gotta foreign cock named Pierre…you totally have a Pedro." I just smiled and shook my head, "I better go to the other side of the booth before we end up really giving that woman a show." I got up and slid in across from him. I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject because you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I secretly wondered if Jay and I would always be this hot for each other or if it was just teenage hormones. But I resigned myself to believe that it would always be like this between us. "So, um…how'd you learn Spanish so well?" He took a breath and started playing with the label on the beer bottle, "Well, I lived all over Texas until I was nine and there's a lot of Hispanics there so I picked some up here and there…but I guess I learned most of it when I was locked up." I took a sip of my Coke and furrowed my brows, "Did you take a class or something?" He laughed and shook his head, "Fuck no! There was this guy…this little pudgy kid named Jose. He was always getting beat up and shit 'fore I got there. Anyway, we were in the same dorm…they called them dorms but they were really just small rooms with about six beds each. So, he was always getting picked on but I thought he was kinda cool…y'know, smart and shit. I told him I'd protect him if he taught me Spanish." I smiled, he was such a sweetheart. "So, did you guys stay friends at all after you left?" He shook his head with another devious smirk, "Nope." I was curious about his expression and asked, "Why?" He laughed, "Well, my mama never came to visit me when I was locked up and he felt kinda bad for me. So, on visiting day, he introduced me to his family and let me sit with them…anyway, long story short…I talked his older sister into givin' me head in the bathroom and he found out about it." God he's such an asshole... I choked a little on my Coke and rolled my eyes as I coughed, "I should have never asked."


We talked a little more as we ate and dinner was really great. Jay was right, the food was incredible. The waitress flirted excessively and even brought Jay two more beers, on the house, but he wouldn't even look at her now as he spoke…his eyes never left mine. Once we were finished, he pulled out his wallet and threw some money on the table and grabbed my hand as we left. He handed me the keys and figured I should drive since he had been drinking so we jumped in the car and took off again. A few minutes later we pulled into the massive parking lot at Wal-Mart and I gulped, "Wow…this place is, um…really big." He looked at me now with a curious expression, "You've never been to WalMart?" I shook my head as we exited the car, "Um, no. There isn't one in Forks and I never went grocery shopping or anything with my mom." He laughed as he took my hand, "I don't think I've ever met anyone who hasn't been in Wal-Mart before." I blushed again as we began walking up to the doors. It was loud and crowded and I felt extremely uncomfortable being with so many people in one building. He noticed my hesitation and let go of my hand. He nudged me with his shoulder, "Would it make you more comfortable if we just act like friends in here?" I took a deep breath and shook my head as I grabbed his hand again, "No, I'm okay, Jay. It's just a little…overwhelming." He smiled, "Shit, babe…I'm ghetto…Wal-Mart's like a second fuckin home to me!" I started laughing now with him and my nerves settled down exponentially. We grabbed a cart and began grocery shopping. I really wanted to cook for him and was looking forward to surprising him with some of his down-home favorites that I had practiced while we were apart. Shopping with Jasper was a lot of fun. He went into a whole spiel about how you had to get the Cap'n Crunch with crunch berries or it just wasn't worth it…I was a Frosted Flakes kind of guy. I laughed when he grabbed bottle after bottle of honey with a wink and a smile. We loaded up on junk food but I had made a mental list of the things I would need to cook some good food for him so I made sure to grab what I needed.


He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "You plannin' on cookin' cuz I'm on vacation, darlin?" I flashed him my crooked grin, "I'm planning a lot of things, Jay." Once we had gone through the grocery part, we went over to the movies because he was insistent that I watch Scarface…I didn't know what the big deal was but I agreed since he seemed so excited. But then I found something that excited me, "Hey, look…they have the Lord of the Rings trilogy box set!" He smirked, "Lord of the Rings, huh?" I nodded vigorously, "Yes! Lord of the Rings is awesome! I tried to get you to watch the first one with me a couple years ago but you fell asleep, like, ten minutes into it. Please, Jay…please watch them with me…" I stuck out my bottom lip and put on a full pout as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "Just cuz you're all cute and shit, don't mean I can't say no to you, Eddie…" I leaned forward and brushed my pouty lip against his and whispered, "But you never say no to me, Jay…" as I looked up at him through my lashes with wide hopeful eyes. He groaned playfully as his arms wrapped around my waist, "Ugh…fine, you adorable little fucker but I get to pick out a couple more movies too…" I nodded and grinned triumphantly, "Okay, Jay. Who knows, you have a thing for geeks…maybe the hobbits will do it for you." He laughed and kissed me once more before pulling away and looking through the movies, "Are the hobbits good lookin?" I shrugged, "I don't know, not really my type…Aragorn's pretty hot…ooohhh and Legolas, he's an elf! He's super hot!" He laughed and shook his head, "I'm in love with a geek." I scowled, "Legolas is played by Orlando Bloom…and I am not a geek." He smiled over at me, "Orlando Bloom's pretty hot…" Then he walked up and put his arms around me, bringing me close to him as he kissed my lips softly, "You know how hot I think geeks are baby and you, Edward Cullen, my little geeky boyfriend, are super hot."


He kissed me thoroughly right there in the middle of Wal-Mart but everything else just faded away. When he finally released his lips from mine, he brushed his hand along my cheek and whispered, "You know I don't really think you're a geek, baby…you just like geeky movies." I rolled my eyes and we both started laughing. "Whatever, Jay, you loved the Harry Potter movies." He smirked, "Fuck yeah, Harry was a hottie…that Cedric though, man, he was smokin' hot! Besides, you made me watch them!" He was right, I did make him watch them with me but I had no idea how much of a boy crush he was going to get. Finally he picked out a couple more movies…Goodfella's because he said that Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro were hilarious and that I would like Ray Liotta…and Blow because, and I quote, "Johnny fuckin Depp…nuff said." I agreed. And besides, what gay boy wouldn't like a movie called Blow. Once we made it out of Wal-Mart and back to the cabin, it was pretty late but we weren't tired because of our naps earlier. So, we finished putting the groceries away and decided to save the movies for a rainy night. We were standing in the kitchen as Jay smiled at me, "So, what'cha wanna do now, Eddie?" I reached up and ran my fingers through my messy hair and sighed, "Um…we probably should put our stuff away so we don't have to worry about it tomorrow…and it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to do some laundry…" He smiled and rolled his eyes, "Geez, don't get too crazy, darlin…" I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, I mean I was just being practical. He came over and put his arms around me, "You're right, babe…we should get that shit done so we can relax tomorrow. C'mon, we'll get unpacked and I'll do the laundry." We walked to the bedroom and began piling our dirty clothes in one corner and putting our clean clothes away in the dresser. Em's dad had a few items in the closet but he obviously hadn't left much here because everything was pretty bare. He finished before I did so he went to start the laundry as I finished unpacking my bags. When I pulled out the pair of dark framed glasses, I smiled as I remembered back to our little role playing session…well, I guess it was role play, I mean, I'm not really a geek, right?


Of course not…I have the most fuckhot boy in all of existence wrapped around my little finger…I am the coolest boy alive… I giggled a little to myself at the insane idea that I had Jasper Whitlock completely and irrevocably in love with me…freaky little Edward Cullen. I rocked. I heard Jasper yell from downstairs, "Hey babe, I'm gonna go out back and have a smoke!" I yelled back, "Okay, Jay, I'll be down in a few minutes!" I ran my fingers along the black frames and smiled as I thought about some of the secret little fantasies I had… Being spanked… Jay in handcuffs and on his knees in front of me… Jay as the strict teacher and me as the shy student looking for intimate instruction… Jay being all…ghetto… Fuck, and now I'm sporting a semi… I wondered if he had read about any of those in my journal. I wondered how insync we were. I wondered if I walked outside right now and initiated one of my little fantasies if he would follow along without me having to say a word… Hmmm…freaky little Edward Cullen is certainly correct… And before I knew it, I was stripping off my clothes and redressing in a pair of khakis and a green polo shirt, tucked in. I walked to the mirror and slipped on the glasses with a blushing smile. If I wanted him to be all ghetto with me, the least I could do is be a little geeky for him… I took a deep breath and walked downstairs. One more deep breath before I slid open the patio door and stepped outside. He was sitting on the brick patio ledge that overlooked the beach, shirtless with one leg up as the other dangled over the edge. He took a drag of his cigarette before turning his head and spotting me. I was graced with that beautiful dimpled grin and a raised eyebrow.


I walked slowly over and cleared my throat as my cheeks went up in flames, "Um…you're, um…Jasper Whitlock, right?" He looked down for a moment and chuckled softly before clearing his throat and looking back up at me with hooded midnight eyes and a sexy little snarl, "What the fuck you want, geek?" Yay! He's playing along! A shiver ran through my body and I pulled my fingers through my hair, trying to keep my body from getting too excited too quick. "Um, well I…uh…I was wondering if you might h-help me with um, something?" He took another drag from his cigarette as he eyed me up and down, taking his time to lazily look over every inch of me. His voice was harsh and dominating and so fucking sexy, "Why the fuck would I help you?" I stared at the ground and mumbled, "P-please…I really need your help…" He turned towards me now as both legs hung off the ledge as he faced me, "Hmm…alright, what do ya want and what are ya gonna give me in return for helpin' ya out?" I shoved my hands in my pockets as I continued staring at the ground beneath my feet, "Um…I want to be…um, cool, y'know? I'm tired of everyone picking on me…and I'll, um…I can pay you, if you want…" He rolled his eyes and laughed harshly before jumping off the ledge and stalking towards me as he backed me up against the wall behind me, "Look here ya little spoiled rich boy…ya wanna know how to crack up cars, I can help…ya wanna know how to roll a decent blunt, I can help…ya wanna know how to break a guy's jaw, I can help with that too…but I ain't gonna help some geeky little brat who waves around his fuckin money …that's what's wrong with you little rich boys, ya think you can buy anything you want…well I got news for you, I may be poor white trash but I got my fuckin pride…" He had me pinned now as his darkened eyes stared into mine. I gulped and looked down, "P-please…I'll do anything…" He raised an eyebrow as he brushed his hand along my khaki covered cock, "Anything, huh?" I nodded vigorously as my cock twitched beneath his feather touches, "Yes, anything." He leaned into my ear and whispered, "What's your name, boy?"


I gulped again, "Uh…Edward…" His warm breath against my cheek and neck were driving me crazy as he whispered again, "Are you a virgin, Edward?" My whole face was on fire as I really got into character, "Um, y-yes…" I trembled as he ran that steel stud in his tongue along my jaw and whispered, "Ya want me to help you?" I nodded again. He pulled away and took my chin in his hand as he held my face to look at him, "I'm gonna fuck you, Edward." He didn't ask…he was telling me and I responded with a soft groan. He pulled away and leaned against the ledge as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He cocked his head and looked at me like a predator as he snarled, "Get on your fuckin knees, boy!" I immediately fell to my knees in front of him as I kept my eyes on his. He took a drag and brought one hand down to brush his finger across my bottom lip as he spoke, "These pretty red lips were made for suckin dick…so get to it." He leaned back against the ledge as I reached up shakily (and happily) as I unbuttoned and unzipped his faded jeans. The concrete beneath my knees hurt a little but I was so turned on that I didn't care. I would, however, probably need to replace my khakis at some point in the near future. Once his jeans were opened, I reached my hand in and felt his hot flesh beneath my fingertips. I grabbed his long, hard cock and pulled it out, mesmerized by the pearl of creamy liquid gathered at the tip. I looked up at him through my dark frames and he gazed down at me as the white smoke billowed out from those plump pink lips. I licked my own and tentatively flicked out my tongue to taste his sweet nectar. And then his fingers were twisted in my hair, pushing my head down so that I took him deep down my throat as he moaned, "Take all that dick down your throat, boy…" He guided my motions as he forcefully guided my mouth up and down his cock, rough and fast until I couldn't take it anymore and had to give myself some relief.


I reached down and undid my pants but the moment I pushed the zipper down, he was yanking my head back by my hair. I gasped as I looked up at him with swollen lips and ragged breaths. He growled, "Did I fuckin say you could touch yourself, boy?" I tried to shake my head but his fingers tightened more and he growled again, "Fuckin answer me!" My body shuddered as I rasped out, "N-no, sir…" He let go of my hair and grabbed my chin again, yanking me up to my feet to look in his eyes, "Just for that shit…you'll come from me fuckin that tight little ass of yours or you won't come at all…" I nodded as my whole body broke out in goose bumps. I feared that I might come before we even got that far. I was trembling furiously now…so turned on that I could barely stand it. His fingers twisted in my hair again but softer this time as he pulled me close to him and whispered in my ear, "You okay, baby? I'm not hurtin' you, am I?" I chuckled as stop…please…"

my

body

shivered

again,

"No,

Jay…just…God,

don't

He laughed softly now in my ear before taking a deep breath and pulling back. His eyes narrowed and he was into character again, "I want you naked and on your fuckin knees…I'll be right back. If you so much as even think about touchin' that pretty cock of yours…I will know and I guaran-fuckin-tee you…it ain't gonna be pretty." With that, he pulled away and nearly ran into the house, leaving me alone on the patio. I was shaking so badly that I had trouble removing my clothes but finally managed to pull them all off. The cool breeze only added to the intense tingling that coursed through my body and the only light that shown was the pale moonlight from up above the water and the greenish blue lights from the pool. I lowered myself to my knees and the cold concrete was hard beneath me. A moment later, he returned with a blanket and a bottle of lube. He laid out the blanket in front of me and panted now as he tore off his clothes with vigor as he snarled, "Get on your hands and knees!" I gulped because I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. He must've seen the trepidation in my eyes because he whispered as he got on his knees behind me and started kissing and sucking my neck from behind, "Trust me, Eddie."


And I did trust him, so I slowly leaned forward and positioned myself on all fours with him behind me. I gasped when I felt his teeth dig into the soft flesh of my ass cheek, and then I moaned loudly I felt the wet tip of his tongue swirling around my hole. One of his hands wrapped around me from behind and started stroking my cock with hard firm pumps while his tongue caused my back to arch and me to push back into it for more. His ragged breathing and my powerful moans were the only things I heard and I was caught completely off guard when a lubed up finger replaced his tongue and slipped inside of me. My head was hanging down and my eyes were squeezed shut as the actions were almost to intense for me. I pushed back into his finger and soon a second one joined in and began stretching me out for him. A few minutes later, his hand let go of my cock and wrapped around my waist, pulling me up on my knees with my back flush against his chest. My eyes were still shut tight as I felt his fingers leave me and the tip of his cock against my entrance. I gulped and braced myself as I silently prayed that I could get through this without looking into his eyes for reassurance and comfort. His warm soft lips pressed against my neck and whispered, "Open your eyes, baby boy…" I swallowed again and lifted my eyes… I gasped when I saw our reflection in the glass patio doors in front of me, the light from the pool illuminating our figures clearly. His dimpled smile was met with my own crooked grin as he whispered, "Eyes on me, Eddie…" My smile quickly faded with a soft moan but my eyes stayed on his through the reflection as he began pushing his self inside of me. His hard wet cock slid in slowly, giving me time to adjust until I felt his strong hipbones against my ass. His arm stayed around my waist, keeping me steady as he began pulling out and pushing back in, a little harder and faster with each thrust. His other hand wrapped around my cock and stroked me in time with him. He felt so good, buried deep inside of me and soon I was pushing roughly back into him, wanting more and more…I could never get enough.


His warm breaths were washing against my neck and his soft moans were bringing me close to the edge quickly. But then, when he pushed me down, back to my hands and knees as his fingers dug into my hips and his cock brushed my prostate over and over again…my eyes closed again while my head dropped down low. His fingers then twined in my hair again, yanking my head back up as he growled, "I said keep your motherfuckin eyes on me! Enough of this sweet shit, boy…I'm about to fuck the ever lovin' daylights out of ya!" My eyes snapped open and was met with deep pools of midnight blue staring back at me. His pink lips were pulled into that sinful sexy snarl as he pulled his big cock almost all the way out before slamming back into me with a fierce growl. My mouth hung open now as I groaned and grunted in ecstasy…but my eyes never left his. My own hard cock was bouncing feverishly and it didn't take long until I was screaming out his name and cumming in thick white streams across the blanket. A few more thrusts and Jay came deep inside of me, his warmth and wetness filling me so completely. He collapsed on my back and I collapsed on my stomach as we both lay there, sweaty and gasping for air. The last thing I vaguely remembered was Jay helping me up the stairs and into bed…but I could've already been dreaming at that point.


Chapter Thirty-Nine Playlist: You May Be Right by Billy Joel, Born on the Bayou by Creedence Clearwater Revival Jay's POV "Edward?" I was lying on his back, panting and sweating and feelin like the motherfuckin king of rockin the cock as he lay breathing heavily underneath me. And in true Eddie style…he mumbled sleepily, "Hmm? Love you, Jay…" I smiled against his neck and kissed it softly, "I love you too, Sugar. Let's get ya to bed, babe…" I mustered every ounce of energy I had and pulled myself up off him. I stood up and grabbed his boxers to wipe us off, since I hadn't been wearin' any. Once we were cleaned up a little, I leaned down and wrapped my arms around him as I attempted to get him to his feet, "C'mon, baby boy…bed time." He snorted and wrapped his arms around my neck and mumbled, "Not sleepy…" And then he was snoring as he went limp in my arms. We did this for awhile as I helped him get up the stairs and into the bed. Once he was sleeping soundly, I went back outside to smoke a cigarette and grab our blanket and clothes and shit. Then I finished up the laundry I had going and threw the blanket in the wash. I was tuckered out after that so I went upstairs and curled up behind my boy before I passed the fuck out. In the mornin' I woke up to the smell of somethin' really damn good. I opened an eye and mumbled, "Eddie?" I turned and looked and the bed was empty. I groaned as I reached down and rubbed my mornin' wood for a minute cuz that shit always feels too good to just ignore. Then I pulled myself outta bed and went to take a piss and brush my teeth. I walked back in the room and pulled on a pair of sweats and proceeded to scratch my grumbling belly as I staggered down the stairs in search of my bronze haired boy and whatever the fuck he was cookin'. I could feel my mouth begin to water as the smell of biscuits and gravy, coffee and bacon filled my senses. Then I heard the voice of Billy Joel singing…


When I stepped in the kitchen, I had to put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh. Edward was covered in flour and stirring the gravy as he sang along to the song. He looked so cute, lost in his own little world, completely unaware that I was watchin' him. I wondered if he would cook breakfast like this when we were older… I knew this song, I remembered mama listenin' to it when I was young. I smiled as I snuck up behind him and grabbed his hand, turnin' him to me quickly as I began singin' and half-bouncin', half-dancin' around the kitchen with him in my arms. I sang as he giggled and sang with me, "You may be right…I may be crazy…But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for…" We were both laughin' and singin' until I backed him to the counter and lifted that pretty little ass up so he could sit on it. I fuckin wailed as I threw my head around, makin' my curls bounce wildly all over the place cuz I was feelin' real fuckin playful…that's right, fuckin playful… I sang out loud as my curls covered my face, "Remember how I found you there, alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled…You were lonely for a man, I said take me as I am, 'Cause you might enjoy some madness for awhile…"I was surprised when he started bouncin' that crazy bronze hair around as he sang to me, "Now think of all the years you tried to, Find someone to satisfy you, I might be as crazy as you say…If I'm crazy then it's true, That it's all because of you, And you wouldn't want me any other way…" We were both giggling like a couple of teenage dumb asses when the song ended…which was okay cuz I reckon we were. I smiled at him as I pushed my wild ass curls from in front of my face, "Billy Joel, huh?" He shrugged and brushed his bronze locks off of his forehead, "Um, mom likes it…I remember when they first adopted me…she would always play old music like this while she cooked. I thought it was very strange back then…I guess I kind of understand the appeal now." I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me as he wrapped his legs around me and his arms around my neck, "So, your mama used to listen to Billy Joel…I guess you probably hadn't heard much music before that?" He shook his head as his cheeks tinged pink, "No, not really. I heard a little in the hospital but it was always classical music…I guess that's why I enjoy classical so much even though it's kind of odd for a boy my age. That was actually the first "modern" song I had ever really heard. I thought it was weird but I sort of liked it too. That's when I began buying CD's all the time. I spent


my allowance every week on new CD's, all kinds, trying to figure out what I liked the best." He leaned down and kissed me softly and I returned it happily. Once he pulled away, he jumped off the counter and returned to stirring the gravy as he smiled over at me, "What kind of music do you remember growing up?" I laughed, "Hang on…" I went and grabbed my Ipod and plugged it in where Edward's had been. I smiled as I flipped through the play lists, "Well, my granny used to listen to nothin' but gospel…she was real religious and shit…but that night mama took me, this song was playin' on the radio…" CCR filled the air and he laughed, "That's quite different from gospel music. Did you like it?" "Fuck yeah…this is southern rock stoner music, babe…its in my motherfuckin' genes!" I walked over and grabbed a biscuit from the pan they were on and popped it in my mouth right as he reached over and smacked my hand. I acted hurt as I furrowed my brows and rubbed my hand while trying to speak and chew at the same time, "Ugh…wufs af fer?" He rolled his eyes, "That's for picking at the food while I'm cooking. You can wait until its finished." I swallowed down the biscuit and made a pouty face at him, "You're mean." He laughed, "What are you…two years old, Jay? You can just tuck that lip back in because it's not going to work on me." I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and began kissing his neck softly. He hummed a little bit but stayed strong…until I started rubbing myself against his ass, slowly getting hard through the flimsy sweats. He took a deep breath and set down the spatula, gripping onto the countertops in front of him. I whispered, "Is this workin', Eddie? Ya like the way I feel against your ass, don't ya? Ya like how hard you make me? You make me so fuckin' hot I can barely think straight…all I can think of is pullin' these pants down and lettin' them hit the floor as I bend you over and…" And with that, I grabbed a couple pieces of bacon and took off running as I laughed my ass off. He gasped and looked over at me, weak kneed and wide eyed. Then he was throwin' an oven mitt at me while callin' me a dick. I just shrugged as I ate my bacon with a triumphant smile, "Yep, I know I am, darlin'…"


To make amends for my bacon stealing, I decided to help him finish cooking breakfast. Before long, we were sitting down and eating. Too say that I was shocked by Edward's cookin' skills would've been a fuckin understatement. I was on my second helping of biscuits and gravy when I asked, "How'd you learn to cook like this, babe? I never seen your mama make biscuits and gravy before…" His cheeks tinged pink and he looked down as he ate, "I, um…kinda, sorta found this website that had…y'know, southern recipes and stuff on it. So, I thought I could maybe try them out and see if I could make anything. Do you, um…do you like it?" I was kinda sorta really fuckin flattered. I got up and sat in the chair next to him, instead of across from him, "Hey Eddie?" He looked up at me now, "Yeah?" I couldn't help the big goofy grin on my face, "That's like…all sweet and shit." He turned even redder and tried to look away but I just smiled, "Thank you, Edward. That was really nice of you to try and learn how to cook stuff I like. You're an awesome boyfriend." Finally I saw that crooked grin as his green eyes met mine, "Yeah?" I nodded, "Yeah." He smiled again as he looked at me, "You're welcome, Jasper." When breakfast was done, we decided to leave the dishes for later cuz we were both so fuckin stuffed that we didn't wanna move. I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette and Eddie followed me, sitting across from me in a lawn chair. "What do ya wanna do today, Edward?" He looked out over the water. The sun was shining and it was already getting warm out, even though it was still pretty early. "Let's go to the beach. I know it's not the ocean but I've never been to a beach before. It'll be fun." He smiled over at me and I nodded, "Sure, babe. Anything you want."


I sometimes forgot just how much Eddie had missed growin' up. Some of those basic little things that most kids take for granted were complete mysteries for him. He was fuckin adorable when he got all excited about stuff like this. So we hopped up and went to take showers. When we got out, we both threw on our swimmin' trunks and I grabbed a backpack and shoved some towels and shit in it. I held his hand as we walked outside and down the back steps to the beach down below. He was practically vibrating with excitement and I found myself laughing as he hurried me up, "Come on, Jay…" He whined, "Come on…let's get in the water…please…" I smirked up at him as I laid our towels down on the ground and reached in the bag pulling out a small bottle, "We'll go in the water in just a minute, Eddie…let me put sun block on you first." He blushed slightly as he plopped down, "Oh…um, okay." I poured some of the lotion in my hands and rubbed it together before I started rubbing his shoulders and back, making sure to cover all of his exposed skin. He sighed, "I wish I could tan like you do…" I smiled as I scooted up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and bringing his back flush with my chest. He laid his head back on my shoulder and closed his eyes contentedly as I started rubbing the lotion over his chest and along his arms, "Edward…I think you're kinda perfect just the way you are." He smiled but didn't open his eyes, "So you're into geeks and albinos…" I started laughing, "You are not albino…you're…y'know…like…fine porcelain or some shit…" He opened his eyes only to roll them at me, "Whatever. I'm pasty." I chuckled now as I leaned down and kissed his neck, "Yep, you're tasty alright…now stand up, babe…I need to get your legs." His cheeks were scarlet as he glanced down, "Um…maybe you should give me a minute." I looked down and saw him tenting his shorts. I smiled, "Yeah, maybe I should." So he pulled away from me a little and turned around to face me. I took the opportunity to put some of the sun block on my fingers and rub it into his cheeks, onto his nose and forehead and chin…if his face got sunburned, I might not see that fuckhot blush very well and now I can't let that shit happen…


When I was done with his face, he could safely stand without worry of pokin' my eye out so I could do his legs. Once he was all covered in sun block, we headed out to the water. There were a few people around but we were towards the end of the beach and not too many people wandered this far down. We had a blast playin' around in the water and on the beach. Edward had no fear in the water and I was lovin' watchin' him have fun. After a few hours, we were getting hungry again and I was worried about him getting too much sun so we headed back up to the cabin. We stripped outta our wet trunks right there on the back deck and wrapped towels around our waists before heading into the kitchen. He started to open the cabinet but I shooed him away, "Have a seat, babe. You made breakfast…I got this." He smiled as he sat down on a stool at the bar and watched me pull out the stuff to make us some sandwiches. When the sandwiches were finished, I grabbed a bag of chips and two cans of Mountain Dew. I set everything down in front of him as I hopped on the bar stool next to him with a wink, "See, I can cook too." He laughed and we started eating. "So, Edward? Can I ask you somethin'?" He smiled at me, "Of course, Jay, what's up?" I took a breath and hoped I wouldn't hit any sore spots with him, "How did you learn to swim so good? I mean…I guess I'm just wondering who taught you." He looked down for a second before clearing his throat and bringing his eyes back up to mine, "When I was first adopted, we lived in Chicago. Mom and dad had a house there with a pool in the back. I always found water soothing, even when I was very young, I remember that I loved taking baths and would do anything I could to stay in the water a little longer. I remember that I wanted to get in that pool so badly I could barely stand it…" He chuckled a little and I smiled as he continued, "So I sat there and just watched it for months outside my bedroom window, trying to work up the courage to get in it. There was no chance in Hell that I was going to ask for help at that point, I wouldn't even speak to my dad...I was scared, distrustful. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to go out and sit by it. I did that for awhile. Then, one night, we were having an incredible thunderstorm…and you know how much I love thunderstorms…" I just nodded cuz I did know how much he loved them.


He smiled back, "Well, I ran outside to feel the rain on my skin…and I was standing by the pool when I just…had to jump in, y'know? So I did. Luckily it was the shallow end. Mom and dad were frantic when they found me but I didn't want to get out. They put on their swim suits and got in with me, right there in the middle of the thunderstorm. It was kinda…awesome. They're really good parents, I got very lucky." I smiled, "Yeah, you did, they're really cool." He nodded and we continued to eat and just shoot the shit. When we were done, we decided to go ahead and clean up the kitchen, finally washing the breakfast dishes. We knew there was come cleaning people coming the next day but I didn't feel right having people clean up after me. Besides, it was kinda like practice for when we had our own place after graduation. Once all that was done, we ended up in the game room playing Xbox and talkin' hella shit to each other. I finally got him to play Grand Theft Auto and I was crackin the hell up every time he had to visit a hooker to get healed cuz he was bright red the whole time. Then he schooled my ass in Lego Star Wars and I gave him some shit for bein' so good at it. He was quiet for a minute before he looked over at me with a slight blush on his cheeks, "Um, hey Jay?" I took the opportunity while he was distracted to use my light saber to take his Lego head off, "What's up, babe?" I heard his soft voice again, "Can I ask you something?" I paused the game and put down the controller before facing him, "Of course, Eddie. Anything." He smiled that sweet crooked smile and looked down for a second before bringing those pretty green eyes up to mine, "Um…can I…uh, I mean…I'd like to take you out tonight. Y'know, on a, um…a date. Would you want to?" He was too fuckin cute for words. I smiled a big dimpled grin, "Why are you so nervous, Edward? It's not like I'm gonna say no." He laughed a little and shrugged, "I don't know…it's just…it's our first, like…official car date and I want it to be nice. You made my first date really perfect and it's been a year so I think it's time I take you out." I remembered back to our makeshift date that I put together in his back yard. It was cheesy as hell but I rocked that shit…I mean, I did get the boy, right? "I'd like that, darlin'. Do you already have it planned out or…" I trailed off as his cheeks turned darker.


"Um, yeah…I thought I could take you out to dinner. I saw a place that looked really nice when we drove into town. Then I thought maybe a movie or something. Nothing too crazy just…kinda normal. Is that okay?" I smiled, "Yeah, that sounds good, Eddie. I guess I should go get ready." He nodded and we turned off the game and made our way upstairs. While he was in the shower I started going through my clothes, tryin' to find something that was half way nice…most of my clothes were just lounging clothes. I swear I didn't own one goddamn pair of jeans that didn't have holes in them. I really needed to go shopping…I didn't have a fuckin thing to wear. Yeah that may be girlie as fuck but whatever, I am gay so…ya know what, I don't have to explain myself, I'm motherfuckin Jay… As I was lookin' over my sad collection of t-shirts and jeans, the bathroom door swung open and Edward walked out wrapped in a towel. I was momentarily pulled away from my clothing dilemma and transfixed on the bronze haired Adonis in front of me. He was too fuckin perfect for words and I couldn't help but trail my eyes lazily over every inch of exposed flesh, silently willing that goddamn towel to come loose and fall… He smiled and blushed, "Um, mom had bought you some, um…dressier clothes. I hung them in the closet if you want to look through them but it's okay if you just want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, Jay. You always look beautiful no matter what you wear." It was my turn to blush a little now, the little fucker callin' me beautiful shouldn't be able to have that kind of affect on me but…fuck it, I fuckin love when he calls me beautiful. I went to the closet and started looking through shit. I smiled when I saw the baby blue dress shirt. Anytime Esme bought me a shirt, it was always some variation of blue…she always said they made my eyes 'pop.' Whatever the hell that means… I pulled it out and found a pair of dark gray, almost black pants that she picked out as well. Esme had awesome taste. Edward had went into the downstairs bathroom to get ready so I set my clothes on the bed and hopped in the shower quickly. When I got out, I brushed my teeth and wondered if it would be too weird of me to put some gel in my hair. I looked at my damp curls and sighed cuz I really needed a fuckin haircut. My hair was past my chin now and a little too long for my taste. I decided to go for it and grabbed the gel, running just a little through my hair before washing my hands. I played around with it for a minute until I


thought it looked good, a little more tame than usual but still fuckin wild and awesome…like me. I chuckled a little to myself as I finished up in the bathroom and went to get dressed. Everything fit just right and I looked in the mirror as I rolled up the sleeves on the shirt, leaving a couple of buttons open at the top. I tucked it into my slacks and put on a dark belt and matching shoes (which Esme had also picked out for me.) When I was finished, I felt a little strange but checkin' myself out in the mirror…I made this shit look good. I smiled as I thought to myself… Damn you clean up nice you sexy son of a bitch… I admired myself in the mirror for a minute before grabbing my wallet and headin' downstairs. I walked into the living room and Edward was sittin' there lookin' like a picture of fuckin perfection. He looked over at me and I saw his eyes go wide as he slowly looked me over. I smirked a little cuz I loved the way he was lookin' at me right now. A low 'fuck' escaped his lips and I smiled, "Later, sugar…ya gotta take me out first." He stood up and walked over to me and I got the chance to admire him. He looked incredible in black slacks and a charcoal gray long sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up like mine. His hair was wild but I smiled as I reached up and ran my fingers through it, noticing that he had tried to tame his as well. He smiled and ducked his head down a little before lifting his eyes back to mine, "God, Jasper, you look…beautiful." I blushed slightly again and smiled back, "Thanks, Edward…so do you. Remind me to call your mama later and thank her for the clothes. That was real sweet of her." He nodded, "Yeah…we definitely need to thank her for those clothes…too bad they're going to be crumpled on the bedroom floor in the morning." I laughed and he leaned into me, wrapping his fingers into my curls and gently pulling my lips down to his. He whispered, "Are you sure you don't just want to stay in?" I smiled and shook my head as I brushed my lips against his, "Uh uh, babe…I look too damn good to be stuck in the house all night…maybe if you're a good boy, I'll let you have your way with me later." He chuckled and kissed me softly again, "Regardless of if I'm good or bad…I will have my way with you later."


Fuck, I loved it when he was confident…but I also love a fuckin challenge… I slipped my arms around his waist, holding him to me tight while my other hand slid down his backside and grabbed a handful of that porcelain fuckin ass and squeezing roughly. He whimpered as his body was suddenly pressed against mine. He looked up at me through those full dark lashes with those big green eyes. I smirked slightly and whispered, "We have our roles, Edward. You're the good boy…I'm the bad boy. Ya know the difference between us?" He took a quick breath as his pink tongue dipped out over his cherry lips and then he breathed out, "No." I slowly walked him backwards until his feet hit the bottom of the stairs. His breathing hitched as I continued to lie him down and wrapped his legs around me. I got on my knees between him and rubbed my hard cock against his in slow teasing soft circles. I started kissing his neck as I whispered, "Good boys go to Heaven…bad boys take you there…" He groaned loudly as his head fell back against the stair and I continued sucking and nipping at his neck while grinding against him. A minute later I pulled away and smiled as I tried to catch my breath, "I can take you to Heaven later, baby…right now, ya gotta take my fine ass out to dinner." He groaned as he panted against the stairwell and then he laughed breathlessly, "You're such an asshole…" I held out my hand to help him up and laughed as he took it, "I know, sugar…it's really a good thing that I'm so fuckin' hot." We took a minute to try and will our cocks down…foreign fuckin horny bastards… And then we finally headed out for the night. He drove and we talked for a little while about stupid shit. We pulled into a nice looking French restaurant and he smiled over at me, "Have you ever had French food?" I teased him a little, "Well, I've had French fries and French toast…" He rolled his eyes, "So I take that as a 'no.' I've never had it before either so hopefully we'll like it."


We made our way into the place and immediately I felt a little uncomfortable. I had never been to a nice restaurant like this before and I felt like I had a big bright neon sign above my head, blaring out 'Poor White Trash'. For the first time ever, I kinda hid behind Edward a little bit as he spoke to the guy about getting us a table. The guy said for us to follow him and Edward turned and looked at me a little confused by my reaction. I just smiled nervously and he smiled back brilliantly as he twined his fingers with mine and whispered, "Relax, Jay." I took a breath and walked beside him hand-in-hand to the table. The greeter guy smiled at us as we sat down and handed us menus before leaving. A minute later the waiter walked over to us and smiled at Edward. They began speaking French to each other and I didn't think much of it until I saw the jackass wink. That's when I noticed…the guy was kinda hot and totally flirting with my motherfuckin boy! The prick was probably only in his mid to late twenties with dishwater blonde hair and eyes the color of crap. Well, maybe not crap…probably more like chocolate…pools of melted chocolate…the fucker. He leaned down over Edward and smiled while he pointed to something on the menu. I watched their interaction as Le Douchebag laughed and smiled and Eddie…my motherfuckin Eddie, was laughin' and blushin' like crazy. But then…then, Pepe le Pew has the fuckin nerve to put his hand on the shoulder of my motherfuckin man! Oh hell no… All nervousness faded quickly as my natural instinct took over and I growled, "Hey Monsieur Dickhead? If I was you, I'd move my motherfuckin' hand quick cuz it's gonna be real fuckin hard to serve people when I rip off your arms and shove them up your…" "Jay!" Eddie looked over at me wide eyed and deep red cheeks. The fucker was scolding me with his eyes and, fuck me, if I didn't immediately feel bad. I grabbed the menu and glared at it but I kept my mouth shut. He spoke to the waiter, "I'm sorry about that…can you give us a minute please?" Francois Fuckhead left and Edward leaned over and pulled the menu down as he whispered, "Jasper Wayne Whitlock! What the hell was that?"


I cringed a little when the middle name came out, I hadn't even known that was my middle name for sixteen fuckin years so it was still a little weird…and kinda reminded me again of how fucked up I was. He must've seen my reaction cuz he dropped his eyes down and pinched the bridge of his nose for a second before looking back up. He reached over and laced my fingers with his as he sighed, "I'm sorry, Jay…but can you tell me what that was all about?" I squeezed his fingers a little and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…I just…you were flirtin' with that guy. Why would you even do something like that in front of me? Ya gotta know how I'm gonna react." He furrowed his brows in frustration, "Jasper, I wasn't flirting with anyone. He was just asking if this was our first date and telling me how lucky I was to have such a handsome boyfriend. I was telling him that this wasn't our first date…this was our…" He trailed off as his whole face became beet red and I was considerably confused, "Our what, Edward?" He looked down again and pulled his hand away, "I don't want to say." I immediately reached over and grabbed his hand back, "Edward? Please tell me what's goin' on…" He sighed and looked up at me, "It's um…God, I feel really stupid…it's not like it's a big deal or anything but um…exactly one year ago…you told me you thought you were in love with me. I guess I kind of took this as our…um…anniversary?" I groaned as guilt swept hard through me, "Jesus, I am an asshole. I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to act like such an ass. I'm gonna be a perfect gentleman for the rest of the evenin'." He chuckled a little, "It's really not a big deal, Jay…I just thought that…I don't know, with everything we've been through this year, I just think it's sort of amazing that we're here…still together…it's silly…" I smiled, "It's not silly at all, babe, and it is a big deal. Man…it seems like we've been together forever…can you imagine what it's gonna feel like when we've been together fifty years?" He returned a sweet crooked grin and squeezed my hand, "I imagine it all the time. Happy anniversary, Jay." "Happy anniversary, Eddie."


The waiter walked back over and kept his distance from me a little as he spoke uncertainly, "Are you ready to order yet, sir?" God, I'm a dick… I hated that I had to do what I was about to do but it was time to be a fuckin man about it… I pulled my hand from Edward's and extended it to the nervous looking waiter as I stood, "I'm really sorry for the way I spoke to you. Please accept my apology for the way I behaved. I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. It's nice to meet you." See…I can be a motherfuckin' gentleman… The nervous look melted away into a warm smile as he took my hand and gave it a small shake. "I'm Joe. Thank you for the apology. I do understand your reaction to a degree…you boys are both quite lovely but about ten years too young for me. You see that gorgeous Maitre de behind you?" He gestured over my shoulder and I turned to see an extremely hot older man with dark black hair and a scruffy chin looking over in our direction. He smiled sweetly before turning away and Joe sighed, "Yeah, I'm going home with him later so…would you like me to tell you gentlemen about today's specials?" I sat back down and a short time later, Joe sat a plate in front of me that I eyed suspiciously. I had no idea what it was and it didn't look particularly good. I noticed Edward do the same thing and we both kinda laughed about it. I picked up my fork and smiled, "On the count of three?" He picked up his fork and smiled back, "On three…one…two…three…" We both scooped up some food and took big bites. Our faces mirrored each other as we fought to chew the nasty shit up and swallow…grabbing our Coke's and chugging the stuff down. Edward's face turned red and he sighed, "I'm sorry…you don't like it, do you?" There's nothing I wouldn't do for my baby boy so I smiled and forced another bite down and tried my best not to grimace, "It's not that bad, babe…" He raised an eyebrow at me in suspicion and smirked, "Really? Well, I was going to suggest that maybe we could go get a pizza but if you like this…" I sighed in relief, "Fuck yeah, pizza sounds great."


Eddie went ahead and took care of the bill and we left the restaurant. I felt bad that we had left but he reassured me that it was no big deal and we had at least tried the food. We went down the street to a pizza joint and had a great dinner. I gotta say though, eatin' buffalo wings in a dress shirt ain't fuckin easy. When we were done, we made our way to the movie theater. Edward told me to pick any movie I wanted but I remembered him goin' on for a week about wantin' to see The Last Airbender cuz he thought the guy who played Sokka was "mouthwatering." So, I chose that and I had to admit, that Sokka guy was pretty fuckin fine and the movie was pretty cool in 3D. When we were leaving the theater, it was still pretty early so we decided to take a walk down the strip and check shit out when we came across the motherfuckin jackpot… "Look, Eddie! They got laser tag, video games, putt putt, and fuckin go karts! Can we go?" He smiled at me cuz I was excited…I secretly loved putt putt. We went in and spent the rest of the night goofin' off. It was a hell of a lot of fun. I kicked his ass in laser tag, which let me tell ya, ain't easy in fuckin dress pants. But he got my ass in putt putt, it was his first time playin' so I chalked it up to beginner's luck. Go karts was pretty interesting cuz we just kept tryin' to run each other off the road and ended up crashing our cars and losing badly. And we must've played every damn game they had in that place. Turns out, Edward is the motherfuckin king of the crane machine. He won me a baby Stewie from Family Guy and laughed, "What is it about this baby that you like so much?" I shrugged as I held it and smiled, "I don't know…he's an evil little fucker…if I ever have a kid, he'll probably make Stewie look like a fuckin angel." He smiled, "I think your child would definitely be an angel, Jay…like father, like son." I gave him a quick kiss for bein' so sweet and we continued playin' around until the place closed for the night. On the drive back, we talked some more about nothin' in particular but I loved every minute of it. Being with Edward was just like breathin'…it was fuckin easy and comfortable and just second nature. He was my best friend, corny I know, but true.


On the way back, I had a hankerin' for somethin' sweet so when we passed a pastry shop that was open 24 hours, I smiled, "Hey Eddie?" "Hmm?" "Can we get somethin' sweet 'fore we go back? I want chocolate." He turned to me and laughed, "You have such a sweet tooth. It's after midnight, Jay…what would you like?" I pointed to the shop, "Chocolate." He smiled and turned into the shop. I was in fuckin' Heaven when we walked in. Yeah, I had a fuckin' soft spot for sweets. I got a big ol' piece of Devil's food cake and he got a piece of strawberry shortcake. We decided to take it back to the house with us and eat there. Once we got home, we kicked off our shoes before going outside on the back patio. We sat on the ledge, across from each other and giggled like idiots as we spoon fed one another. When we were done, we just sat there awhile talkin and watchin the moon out over the lake. "Hey Eddie? I wanted to ask you somethin' but if ya don't wanna talk about it, just tell me, okay?" He looked over at me, "Okay, what's up?" I sighed as I took a drag from my cigarette, "I know how much you love thunderstorms but…I don't understand why. Like I said, you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want but…it just seems like you wouldn't like them at all cuz of what happened to you." He looked out over the water for a minute and I immediately felt like an ass, "Shit, Edward, I'm sorry, just forget I asked…" He sighed, "It's okay, Jay…I can talk about it with you…" He looked over at me and gave me a small grin, "My love of thunderstorms began long before that night. Being trapped in that small dark room…I never knew if the sun was shining or if a breeze was blowing…but when it stormed, I could feel it…hear it. I remember the sound of the rain beating against the roof and my window, the sound of the thunder and how it would shake the whole house. It was a reminder to me that a world did exist outside those four walls. I always felt like God was telling me that he was still there, even if I couldn't see him. That night in the trunk, the sound of the rain and thunder comforted me. When my father…um…when he abused me…it wasn't storming…the sun was


shining. My life sometimes feels like I'm caught in a storm…everything moves so fast around me and I feel like I'm just hanging on for the ride…especially since you came into my life. But I love it. My life is kind of crazy now…impulsive…fun. I see and do things I never dreamed of because of you. Storms are wild and unpredictable but also breathtaking and magnificent…like you. I see more beauty in storms than I do sunshine." Fuck, the boy could just fuckin melt me… I threw out my cigarette and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me in-between my knees. His legs came up over mine as we sat face to face on that ledge. I sighed and ran my fingers through his soft hair as I whispered, "I love you, Edward." He smiled as he brought his hand up and opened his palm to reveal a small box, "I love you too, Jasper. I, um, bought this for you for your birthday right after I got out of the hospital. I wanted to wait to give it to you until we got here. So, um…happy belated birthday, Jay." My heart caught in my throat a little as I looked down at the box. I whispered, "I didn't…I thought we were…" He smiled, "It's okay, Jay. I don't care that you didn't get me anything. I know you were upset with me at that time. It's not a big deal. Now come on, open it!" I smiled and took the box, slowly taking off the top. I laughed when I pulled out a shiny silver Zippo. "This is perfect, Eddie, thanks." He turned it over, "I had it engraved…see…" I looked down at the pretty cursive script engraved and whispered, "My beloved is mine and I am his. Song of Solomon 2:16." He blushed, "It's a little silly, I know…but I …" But I cut him off as I reached out and pulled him to me, tasting those sweet cherry lips and thanking a God I wasn't even sure I believed in for letting us find each other. He chuckled against my lips, "So, you like it then?" I smiled back into the kiss and whispered, "Ready to go to bed so you can have your way with me now?"


He moaned softly before pulling away and standing. He reached out his hand for mine and smiled, "Come on, bad boy‌Heaven awaits." I took his hand and led him upstairs. And I'm pretty sure I took my baby boy to Heaven cuz he was screamin' out God's name until the sun broke through the windows‌


Chapter Forty Wild Horses by The Sundays and The Story by 30 Seconds to Mars Eddie's POV I'm awoken by groans and thrashing beside me, lifting my sleepy head, I see my Love struggling in his sleep. Muttered pleas and anguished cries fall from his lips and in this fitful state, I can see clearly the boy he once was…scared and lonely and sorrowful. I go to wake him when my phone starts ringing. Furrowing my brows, I grab it and still half sleeping, I grumble, "Good morning, dad." "Good morning, son. I didn't wake you, did I?" I shake my head as I pull myself up to a sitting position and wrap my arms around Jay as he curls into my lap and finally stills, "Um, no…I was up." He sighed and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, "Edward…I'm afraid I have some bad news…Charlotte has passed." I take a deep breath and tug at my hair for a moment…even if we knew it was coming, it didn't make it hurt any less. "Is Peter okay?" He blew out a breath, "He's…well, not okay but…he's dealing with it as best he can. We're all pitching in to make sure he's okay…Emmett and Brady stayed with him last night. Your mother, Rosalie, and Alice are making the funeral preparations this morning." We talked for a little while and when I hung up the phone, I called Em. "Edward?" "Tommy? Hey man, is Em around?" I heard some shuffling and the sound of a door close, "He's asleep, it's been kind of a long night. I guess you heard…" Jasper started whimpering again so I began running my fingers through his hair, separating the soft curls until he settled again. "Um, yeah…is Peter sleeping too?"


"Yeah, your dad gave him something to help him rest. He hasn't slept hardly at all the last couple of days. I feel so bad for him." I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I couldn't imagine ever losing Jay. And then I remembered, "Oh, hey, wasn't there something you wanted to talk to me about? It sounded like something was on your mind the last time we spoke…" He sighed, "Uh…sort of…um, is Jasper around?" I furrowed my brows, "Yeah but he's sleeping…why?" "I just…miss talking to you. I know it's really stupid but…when we were in the hospital together and stayed up all those nights talking…I just never really had someone like you to talk to before." I ran my fingers through Jay's honey curls and sighed, "Well, you can call me anytime you want, Tommy. Is there something going on that you wanted to talk about?" He chuckled nervously, "Um…well…uh…no, not really…I just…forget it. So, are you having a good time, Edward?" I smiled immediately, "Yes, I'm having the most fun I've ever had in my whole life. Jay is so amazing…" I proceeded to tell him the things we had done in the last few days, leaving out the kinky details because he never wanted to hear them. "So, wait a second…you're telling me that he got pissed off about you supposedly flirting with the waiter but he admitted to overly flirting with the waitress from the Mexican place?" The way he said it made it sound so much worse than it really was, "Um, yeah…but it was really no big deal…" "Edward? That's hypocritical. Just because the waitress was a woman doesn't make it any less wrong. You shouldn't have to put up with that shit…" I was starting to get a little upset because he was making Jasper out to be some bad guy, "Tommy, I'm not putting up with anything. Yeah, he messed up but we all mess up sometimes. He felt bad about it and apologized so I let it go…" "But that's just it, Edward…you shouldn't have to always let it go. Every fight you two have, it seems like you're always the one to back down. He doesn't treat you right…hell, he forgot your anniversary!"


"I don't know what's going on with you, Tommy, but my relationship with Jay is just fine. Yeah, he's an asshole sometimes, it's just who he is. I accept him, flaws and all, just like he accepts me. In fact, I love that he's an asshole because the other part of him, the part that he reserves just for me, is the sweetest most loving person I have ever known. I don't know what your problem with him is, but if you want to keep me as a friend, you'd better back off right now." I heard him take a breath and sigh, "Shit…I'm sorry, Edward. I don't have a problem with Jay…I've just been going through a lot lately. My, um…my mom called me last week…" "Oh? Well, how did it go…what did she say?" I kept my fingers crossed that she had come to her senses and realized that all of the James bullshit wasn't her son's fault…that he was a victim. I heard him sniffle, "Not good…" I now removed my fingers from Jasper's locks and ran them through mine for a minute, "I'm so sorry, Tommy…" His voice was cracking as he whispered with determination, "My mom brought me the last of my things…said her and dad are moving to another city…she said they're too ashamed to hold their heads up in town because everyone knows that I'm a fucked up little queer…said I was probably begging for what James did to me…" My heart broke for him. I couldn't imagine what I would've done if I lost my parents over something as horrible and traumatic that he had endured. I blew out a breath, "Jesus, Tommy…that's all bullshit, you know that, right? What happened to you, wasn't your fault and you being gay, doesn't make it your fault. I understand how it feels to think that you somehow caused…those bad things to happen…but it's all bullshit, man. I'm sorry but your parents are obviously the 'fucked up' ones. There's nothing wrong with you. You're smart and funny and unbelievably strong…handsome, sweet…" I could hear him quietly sobbing on the other end as he whispered, "I'm not any of those things…" "Yes, you are! Tommy, you're incredible! Anyone would be lucky just to even know you! In the short time we've known each other, you've become one of my closest friends. You are worthy of so much more than you realize." He sniffled and whispered, "You really think that?" I smiled as I felt Jasper's lips pucker and sweep over my thigh, "Yeah, I do."


"Thanks, Edward. You see? That's why I miss you. You always make me feel better no matter what stupid shit's going on in my life…" He was still talking but the feeling of Jay's tongue lapping at my balls and his fingers wrapping around my hips and clenching my sides, pretty much consumed every thought I had at the moment. I managed to respond with a couple of 'yeahs' 'uh huhs' and 'me too' while Jasper's tongue and mouth worked up my cock until he plunged down on the hardened length and I groaned loudly. Tommy sounded concerned as he spoke again, "Edward? You okay?" My voice was coming out a little breathless now, "Uh…yeah…I'm fine, Tommy, but I…" Then Jasper was on his knees and nipping at my neck as he whispered kind of loud, "Unless Tommy wants to hear you screamin' my name…you should hang up the phone now, Edward…" I grunted a low, "Fuck…" And I heard Tommy do the same. "I, um…I'll talk to you later, Edward, when you have more time for me…" I wanted to feel bad…I know I probably should feel bad…but with Jasper's hard body against mine and his tongue and lips and hands on my body…all I could feel at the moment was him. "Shit, I'm sorry, Tommy...I'll call you soon, okay? Tell Em to call me when he wakes up. Later, man." I hung up the phone and threw it at the end of the bed while I clenched Jay's hair in-between my fingers and dragged his lips to mine. He growled into the kiss as his fingers clenched my back and ass, pulling me down as he slid me back into a lying position underneath him. He presses me into the mattress as his fingers continue to hold me roughly, as if he was afraid that I might disappear right beneath them. I released the hold I had on his curls and slid one hand over his shoulder, feeling his muscles clenching tight in his neck and shoulders. My other hand slid up the hard planes of his chest until I lay it, palm flat over his heart. It's beating wildly as his muscles continue to flex and tense. And I realize that his actions are desperate, needy, and wanton…and as much as I feel the same, I realize that something's bothering him.


So, I pull my mouth from his and throw my head back into the pillow while his lips immediately find purchase on my jaw and neck. I tighten my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and pant, "Jay? Baby, we should stop…" He growls as his hard cock pushes against mine and his voice, rough and raw whispers, "Don't wanna…" So, instead of pushing him away, I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer as I breath out, "What's wrong, Jay? Talk to me, baby, please…" His movements still for a moment as I feel the muscles in his back tighten and tense again. His head was against my shoulder as his breathing came out in heavy pants. I took the opportunity to roll him over onto his back as I now straddled him. I tried to raise up and look at him but he just held me tighter. He was really starting to worry me. I figured it must have something to do with the dream he had and was about to question him, "Jasper, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere so please loosen your grip for just a moment…" I barely heard the whimper as his fingers relaxed and allowed me to pull up so that I could look down at him. His eyes were clenched shut and his jaw was locked and rigid. I ran my thumb over his plump pink bottom lip and they parted slightly as a huff of hot air brushed across as he released a breath. I whispered, "It was just a dre…" And then his eyes opened and stopped me dead in my tracks. They were bright sapphire and brilliantly shimmering, tempting to overflow at any moment. Then I felt his bottom lip quiver underneath my thumb and my breathing hitched. He didn't have to say a word, I knew what he needed just by the look in his eyes. I leaned down and took his lips to mine as I now clenched his shoulders and back, pulling him with me as I lay on my back and bring him back on top of me. His fingers are gripping my hips again as his tongue swirls around mine and explores every inch of my mouth. I free one hand and reach blindly for the nightstand, feeling my way around until I find the small drawer. Once opened, I retrieve the small bottle of lube and run it down his back until it reached his hand gripping my ass. He takes it and breaks the kiss with a gasp for air. His baby blues open and squeeze back shut, causing a few tears to slip from the corners. I reach up with


one hand and brush the tears away while my other tentatively takes the lube from his hand. I pour some on my fingers before wrapping them around his hard length and pulling the soft skin up and down over his firm steel. I'm rewarded by a low groan and a pleading, "Edward…baby, we should…" But I press my other finger to his lips and whisper, "Shhh…we'll talk later, Jay." His eyes open again and shine with love and gratitude as he finally smiles a little and whispers, "Thanks, Eddie…" I smile back and slide my fingers back into his golden curls, pulling his lips to mine and tasting the sweet and salty honey of his tongue and tears. I stroke him languidly as his hips move slowly and sensually into my hand and his now wet finger dips inside of me. I'm anxious for him to fill me so I mimic his movements and roll my hips up, causing his finger to slide in and out of me while his hard length slides easily in my hand and against my own rigid cock. I'm pushing against him, desperate for more of his touch and am finally rewarded with another finger. By the time he feels I'm ready, I am the one who is desperate and needy and wanton. No words are spoken as I feel his fingers slip out and I let go of his cock as he grips it and begins rubbing it tortuously slow along the crack of my ass, teasing my entrance until I can take no more. I feel him pull the cool cotton sheet over top of us and I look up to see him looking down at me. For a moment, I'm lost in his beauty. His eyes are like storms of blue and gray, swirling together in different shades and hues…reminding me of the internal battle going on behind them right now. His gaze is intense and I feel so much love radiating from him that it makes my heart ache from the power behind it. Is it possible to love someone so much that it hurt? Yes, it's possible… He whispers through a shaky, uncertain breath that comes from the real Jasper hidden underneath the arrogance and attitude, "Please don't ever leave me, Eddie…" I reach up and brush the warm tears from his cheek with wide eyes as I whisper, "I could never leave you, Jay…never…"


His eyes squeeze shut and his lips are on mine as I feel his trembling body begin to push inside of me. He moves his hips slowly in one smooth motion as he fills me completely. I tighten my arms around his neck and kiss him harder, trying to let him know that I'm here and I'm never going anywhere without him by my side. He lays down on me so that I feel his weight and the strong planes of his chest against mine. There is not an inch of space between our bodies as he begins moving in and out of me, slowly…deliberately… My flesh is scorching as his slick, hard skin moves against mine…the coolness of the simple sheet does nothing to squelch the ever growing inferno that began from the inside and slowly works its way out until I feel him everywhere…from deep inside my heart and body to his damp, golden curls tickling my cheek and his feet curling around mine to try and draw himself impossibly deeper within me. We make love for an eternity until my body is weak and wet and completely satisfied as he swallows my moans…my sticky nectar covering our stomachs as I now swallow his moans and feel him cum inside of me, hard and hot. Our bodies shake and tremble from the intensity as we come down together but don't move to separate for quite some time afterwards. Eventually, he pulls his swollen lips from mine and wipes the damp hair from my forehead and smiles softly as he whispers, "Mine." I smile back and whisper, "Yours." We just smile at each other goofily for a minute until he finally gets up and grabs a wet washcloth to clean us up. He grabs my hands and pulls me up, "C'mon, babe, let's go take a shower 'fore ya fall asleep." My head lulls for a second because, I was in fact, about to fall asleep. But defiantly I mutter, "I'm not even sleepy, Jay…" He laughs and helps me trudge into the shower. The warm water and his solid body encompassed me as I sighed deeply and just curled into his chest with a happy smile. We take our time and wash each other and I feel warm and safe by our routine. Once all the shampoo and soap is flowing down the drain, I look up into his eyes and finally question, "What was going on earlier with you, Jay?" He sighs and shrugs, "Nothin' really…I just had a dream that you left me and then I woke up and heard you tellin' Tommy that he was handsome and sweet…"


Jay and his abandonment issues… I finally tell him about Charlotte and what was going on with Tommy, hoping to squash his fears. He's upset about Charlotte and worried about Peter. We get out of the shower and both just throw on some pajama pants before we go downstairs and grab some lunch. It was already late in the afternoon, having spent the entire morning in bed. As we're eating, my phone rings and I quickly answer it, "Hey Em…um…how are you?" He sighs, "I've seen better days, Ed. Tommy said you called this morning. Have you told Jasper?" "Um, yeah. How's Peter?" "God, Edward…he's just destroyed. She didn't remember him at the very end…but she passed in her sleep so that comforted him a little. We're all pulling together to try and take care of everything. I just couldn't imagine…y'know, if it were me and Rose…God, I hope I go before she does…" "I know what you mean, Em. Is he still sleeping?" "Yeah, well he's been in and out all day. He probably won't even be coherent for a few days, man. When he's awake, all he does is cry and sit out by her garden." We talked for a little while longer and then Jay talked to him too. He tells us that he's going to come out in a couple of weeks and we're excited about hanging out with them again. When we hung up the phone, the mood was somber. We really didn't do much for the rest of the day but just hang out together, sometimes talking, sometimes being together in comfortable silence. When we got the information for the funeral, we had some flowers sent, lilies because they were her favorite. The next few days slowly passed and things began to return to normal. We called and checked in on Peter every day and he was slowly starting to pull himself back together. On Friday, it rained all day so we finally had our movie marathon and lounged around all day again in nothing but our sweats. Jasper knew every freaking word to Scarface and I laughed as he did his Tony Montana impression because that Cuban accent mixed with his southern one was absolutely hysterical. And he was right, I liked Tony Montana.


He acted like he was going to fall asleep again when we started watching Lord of the Rings…but an hour into it and he was sitting up next to me eating popcorn and imitating Gollum. God, his impressions suck… By the time the third movie ended, he was wired. I think it was because he really enjoyed the movies a lot but it could've been the dozen or so beers we drank. "Holy shit that was fuckin' awesome!" I smiled, "See, I knew you'd like it. Fucking elves are hot. So, did any of the hobbits do it for you?" He smirked, "Sam was kinda cute…all little and pudgy and shit…plus, he would be the perfect height to just stand on my feet and give me head all day long." I rolled my eyes, "You have serious issues, sweetheart." He just shrugged, "Yeah, so I've been told, darlin'." He went outside to smoke a cigarette and I decided to have a bit of fun with him. I ran to the linen closet and pulled out a brown sheet. I tied it around my neck like a cape and then pulled my arms into the button up shirt I threw on so they looked really short. Then I got down to my knees and stuck them in my shoes, while the cape covered my feet behind me. I giggled as I waddled to the patio door… God, I am going to feel like such a dumbass in the morning… I knocked on the glass and he turned. He looked confused for a second until he finally looked down, then he damn near fell over as he started laughing hysterically. I just stood, well stood on my knees anyway, there until he finally pulled back the sliding door. I looked up at him through my lashes with wide eyes and spoke, "It's the cock. You can't take your eyes off it; I've seen you. You're not eating. You barely sleep. It's taken ahold of you, Mr. Dildo. You have to fight it." He was giggling so hard he could barely speak but he managed to get out, "It's mine…my own…my precious…"


I leaned against the doorway on one elbow as I ran my hand threw my hair, which was difficult with short arms. I raised an eyebrow and smirked, "So, you ever had your dick sucked by a horny hobbit?" He was laughing so hard he couldn't speak this time. I smiled, "I may be short but they call me tripod for a reason…" He wiped the tears from his eyes and his dimpled smile was ingrained to his beautiful face, "I'll let you suck my dick on one condition…" I started rubbing my hands together like an evil horny little fucker, "Anything…" He took a few steps back and laughed, "Walk over here and take it." I started laughing now as I waddled to him, with my knees still in my shoes. When I finally reached him, I reached up with my little arms and struggled to free his cock from the prison of his sweats. When I saw it, semi hard and beautiful, I licked my lips and grinned, "My precious…" He was laughing even as I leaned forward and took him in my mouth. It took me a minute to get him completely hard because he kept looking down at me and chuckling. I lavished his gorgeous cock with attention, swirling my tongue around the plump head, sucking him deep down my throat and swallowing, moaning around his cock as mine became rigid and pulsing. His head was back and his eyes were closed as his fingers tangled in my hair and he moaned softly into the nighttime sky. The moon over head illuminating his ethereal form. When I felt like I might burst, he carefully gripped his cock and pulled it from my mouth as he tugged my head back by my hair. He smiled, "Shall I impale you with my stiff steel?" I chuckled now and raised an eyebrow in challenge, "I shall thwart thy evil cockery." He smirked, "I'm bigger than you, dwarf." I smirked back, "I'm not a dwarf…I'm a hobbit. The first thing they teach you in hobbit 101...go for the knees…" And with that I grabbed his knees and pushed him back. He fell into the pool behind him with a loud splash and I started laughing my ass off.


Until he came up and gasped as he moved the wet curls from his eyes, "Oh, you're dead, Cullen!" I let out a small yelp and tried to turn to run, but I was still on my knees and got all tangled up in my damn cape. The next thing I knew, his hands were wrapped around my legs, dragging me into the pool. I fought and tried to grasp onto the ground as he pulled me. I gasped out laughing, "Give it up, Whitlock!" He laughed as he pulled harder, "Oh, you're gonna give it up, Cullen! Just as soon as I get'cha in this damn pool!" He eventually pulled me in and dunked me. When I surfaced, we were both laughing hysterically. He swam to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Time to give it up, Cullen." I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled, "You want it? Take it, Whitlock." He smiled as his hands went down and gripped my sweats, tugging them down and off. I did the same to him and we threw them up on the patio with a wet thud. He was already completely naked as he began unbuttoning my shirt and pulled it off. I reached up and started to undo the cape and he swatted my hands away, "Uh uh…the cape stays on." I laughed for a moment until I felt my back hit the wall and he was lifting my legs to wrap around his waist. He smiled as he trailed his hand down my back until he pressed a finger inside of me from underneath. I groaned as my head fell back against the ground outside the pool. He continued to stretch me until I was writhing against his hand, the stupid cape long forgotten. Then his fingers were gone and replaced by the thick head of his dick pushing up inside of me. Now, I threw my head forward onto his shoulder as he filled me. The cool water was such an amazing contrast to the heat of his body and the brisk breeze in the air. His hands were on my ass as he pulled out almost all the way and then slammed back into me. I gasped as the water sloshed all around us and I hang onto him with everything I had as he fucked me hard and fast against the wall of the pool. I loved to be fucked like this by Jasper. He was incredible and I couldn't imagine that anyone could ever be as good as he was. He was the fucking Obi Wan of the cock…he knew how to use the Force…


Damn, I'm drunk…right there, baby…fuck…the Force is strong in this one... "Harder, Jay! Faster, baby! Fuck me! Oh God yes, fuck me, Jay!" So, I was a little vocal when I was drinking…I'm sure he didn't mind. I was rewarded when he grasped the edge of the pool and started fucking me into oblivion, grunting and cursing into my neck as he bit down. I screamed out as I came just from the friction of our bodies and was soon followed by him releasing deep inside of me while screaming my name. We just held onto each other for awhile until we could get our breathing back under control. When I finally pulled away to look into his eyes, I grinned, "So, have you ever seen the Star Wars movies because I think you'd really like them?" He laughed and held me tighter, "No, I haven't, darlin' but we already got a pink light saber…" I smiled into his neck as my eyes got unbelievably sleepy. I yawned, "Maybe we can go to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buy them." I felt him kiss my cheek and whisper, "Love you, Eddie. Sweet dreams, baby boy." I woke up the next morning, alone. I whispered, "Jay? Jay, baby, where are you?" I didn't hear anything coming from the bathroom or downstairs. I pulled myself up from the bed and grabbed a pair of his basketball shorts that were lying on the floor. I yanked them up as I stumbled sleepily and yawned as I scratched my hair and made my way down the stairs. I looked out back but he wasn't out there smoking a cigarette. I passed a vase full of some kind of strange flowers on the kitchen table so I knew he had to be around somewhere. I was starting to get concerned until I heard music coming from the front. I squinted as I pulled open the front door and was met with the blinding sun. I grunted as I grabbed my sunglasses and slipped them on. I had a bit of a headache from last night as images of hobbits and capes came barreling at me. I felt my whole body turn red and vowed to never bring it up…hopefully, he wouldn't remember. I looked out and had to lift my glasses to get a good look. Instant boner…


He was barefoot, wearing only a pair of low slung jean shorts while he leaned over my car and was currently washing the hood. The doors were open and the music was on. He was sweaty and golden and wet…it was downright sinful. He finally realized I was gawking at him as he looked up at me and smiled that beautiful dimpled grin, "Hey babe! I was wonderin' how long you were gonna sleep." I just swallowed and nodded as he grabbed the water hose and started spraying off the suds. I reached down to adjust myself before walking over to him, "Um…what are you doing?" Apparently the stupidity of last night is still carrying forward to today…nice… He smiled, "Washin' your car. It was kinda filthy. I hope ya don't mind but I took it this mornin' and went out to get the stuff to change your oil. I figured it needed it since we ain't done it since you picked me up." Again I nodded, "Oh…that's nice. Thank you, Jay." He shrugged, "No problem, babe. So, you feelin' like refried shit this mornin'?" I sighed, "Um, yeah…I have a bit of a headache." He dropped the hose and walked into the garage, returning with a bottle of water and two pills in his hand, "Here, Eddie. I figured you'd be feelin' like warmed over hell when ya woke up so I got ya some aspirin at the store." I smiled at the gesture, "Thanks, Jay." I took the pills and quickly swallowed them. "Would you, um…do you want me to help?" He grabbed the towel and started drying the now sparkling Volvo, "Nah…you don't feel good, baby, so why don't ya just relax. I'm almost done for now. I'll wax it after we eat and change the oil later on when it cools down some." I couldn't help but give him a crooked grin, "Okay, well would you like some lemonade? I can go and make some?" He smiled over at me as his honey curls hung over his baby blues, "That'd be great, darlin'. I'll be there in just a minute." I nodded and went back into the house. I quickly went in and started making the lemonade. I cut the lemons easily and didn't even realize that I had no trouble doing it until they were done. No shaking, no memories, no panic attacks. It was a small victory but a victory nonetheless.


My headache eased up some by the time Jay came into the kitchen. I handed him a glass filled with ice and lemonade. He smiled a breathless, "Thanks, babe," and quickly downed it. I took it from him and refilled it. He was working on that one when I grabbed a kitchen towel and wetted it under the sink. I wrung it out well and pulled out a kitchen chair, "Here, Jay…sit down, babe." He sat and I laid the cold towel across his shoulders and began massaging them. He sighed and closed his eyes, "Mmm…that feels good, Eddie." I smiled, "Good…ya know, Jay, we could've taken the car to a carwash…there was no need for you to work so hard this morning." His eyes remained closed as he sipped his lemonade and sighed, "I don't mind a little hard work, darlin'…besides, you're shiny, silver Volvo wasn't shiny no more and we just can't have that, now can we?" I chuckled, "You like the Volvo…admit it." He opened his eyes and laughed as he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, "I reckon I like it alright…I mean, you did lose your V-card in it so I s'pose I should keep it lookin' and runnin' good." I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder, "You take good care of me." He held me tight and I felt his lips against my neck, "That's my job, baby boy…I'll always take care of you." I finally pulled away from his neck and took his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and sweet as he smiled into it, "Mornin', darlin." I smiled back, "Good morning, babe." After a minute, I got up and refilled his glass for him again while he started making us some sandwiches. As we sat down at the kitchen table, I remembered, "Oh, hey…are these flowers for me?" His dimples broke through and his cheeks tinted, "Yeah…actually, I stopped at a nursery and got 'em…sort of a late anniversary gift. I'm really sorry I forgot, Eddie…I swear it won't happen again." I reached out and ran my finger down the white petal, "It's okay, Jay. It's pretty…what is it?" He smiled, "It's called honeysuckle."


I raised an eyebrow, "Well, I like the name." He laughed and reached out to pluck a flower from the stem. I gasped, "Hey!" He just chuckled again, "Trust me, sugar…you're gonna appreciate this…close your eyes." I furrowed my brows but did as he asked. Then I felt something soft against my lips and he whispered, "Now, suck." I raised an eyebrow and he laughed again, "C'mon, Eddie…suck it, baby, please…." I felt myself begin to harden and tentatively began, well, sucking. I was pleasantly surprised as I drank in a sweet honey nectar. My eyes flashed open and I smiled, "Is that honey?" He laughed, "Yep…I thought you'd like it. When I was a kid, my granny had tons of this stuff growin' all around. I used to pluck all the flowers off and drink 'em down all day long. I remembered it this mornin' and thought you might like them." I was amazed, a honey flower…how awesome was that! "Thank you, Jay…I love them." "You're welcome, baby…and I'm also gonna take ya out tonight since I kinda screwed up our anniversary date." I smiled as we began eating, "Where are we going?" He shook his head, "Nope, it's a surprise. You're gonna have to wait till we get there." I pouted a little but then let it go. After we finished eating, I went out and helped him wax my car. Then he taught me how to change my oil. Although I found it insanely sexy when he did it…it wasn't really my thing. After we did all that, we took a long cool bath and just laid there for awhile in the tub. Eventually, we pulled ourselves out and were eating dinner when my phone rang. I frowned at the number, "Um, Jay…it's your Aunt Barb's house." He grabbed the phone and looked at it for a second, "Um…it's probably Jeremiah…just put it on speaker phone and answer it. If it ain't him…just…hang up." I nodded and took a breath as I hit the speaker button, "Um…hello?"


"Hey there you pretty mother fucker…is Jay around?" I laughed and Jay sighed in relief, "What's up, Cuz?" Jeremiah sighed, "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Cuz…but the shit…has hit…the fan." My heart stopped and Jay frowned, "What's goin' on?" "That fuckin' bitch been runnin' her mouth again…been tellin' everybody that'll listen that you're…um, y'know…into dudes and shit…said she seen you outside the bar with a guy…" Jay's head dropped and he growled, "Fuck! Does daddy know yet?" "Uncle Wayne knows, man. Ya know shit spreads like wildfire in this shit town. Good news is, your little cousins Suzie, Jenny, and Laura Lu, caught her outside the Wal-Mart and whooped her mother fuckin' bitch ass!" He was rubbing his temples as he spoke quietly, "That was kinda nice…tell 'em I said thanks. What'd daddy say? Does he believe her? Is he gonna kill me?" "Well…he ain't happy, Cuz. He ain't said one way or the other if he believes it or not. Told me that if I hear from ya…that ya got till Monday to call him or else he's gonna call ya in as a runaway and contact them cops in Washington to talk to Eddie's parents." I dropped my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Jay groaned, "Fuck…what the fuck am I gonna do?" Jeremiah sighed, "Sometimes, man…ain't nothin' you can do but hold your head up high and take it like a man. Guys like us, Jay…we do what we gotta do…not what we wanna do. Call him…I know he's pissed as hell right now and I know Uncle Wayne is the biggest son of a bitch this side of Texas…but he…well, shit, man…he's been worried as fuck about you." Jay laughed humorously, "He ain't ever worried bout me a day in my life…" "That ain't true, Cuz…when you was with your mama, he always talked about how much he worried bout ya." Jay rolled his eyes, "If he was so worried then why didn't he take me from mama? Why does he live to beat the shit out of me? The fucker don't give a fuck about me." "Jay, your daddy has a lot of problems, man…you ain't been around him all his life like I have…I can't answer them questions but maybe he can. All I'm sayin' is…call him before Monday…try not to blow up…give him a chance to talk without bein' a smartass. I ain't sayin' he's gonna turn into Bill fuckin Cosby


and shit…wearin' sweaters and dancing' 'round like a jackass…but he can be alright sometimes. Listen to your old Cuz now, son…I'm older, better lookin', smarter, and have a much bigger dick than you…I know what I'm talkin' about." Jay rolled his eyes again but laughed a little, "You're such an asshole…" Jeremiah laughed, "I'm a Whitlock, fucker…it's part of the charm…" I spoke now, "Um…Jeremiah?" "What's up, pretty boy?" I smiled and blushed, "Um…do you think, um…do you think Jay's father will make him come back to Texas?" He blew out a breath and sighed, "Probably. I'm sorry, man. I'm doin' my best to put out all the fires that bitch started but Uncle Wayne's stubborn as a barnyard mule so he probably ain't gonna bend much on this one…" I gulped and felt my heart racing and my breaths becoming shallow. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to calm myself down. A moment later, I was being pulled into Jay's lap as he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered, "Shh…calm down, sugar…everything's gonna be okay. Just calm down, baby." I held onto him and breathed in his honey scent…it helped as I willed myself to breathe. Jay sighed, "Hey thanks for the heads up, man…you still leavin' in a few days?" "Yeah, on Wednesday. Mama's havin' a barbecue for me tomorrow so your daddy will be here if you wanna call. Sorry for fuckin' up your night and shit, Cuz. You take care there, pretty boy. I'll talk to ya'll later." "Later, Cuz." "Bye, Jeremiah." I hit the end button and sighed, "What are we going to do, Jay?" He smiled but it didn't reach his dimples, "Well…you're gonna go get ready and then I'm gonna take you out for our anniversary." "Maybe we shouldn't go out tonight." He shook his head, "I gotta talk to my dad tomorrow, Edward…I need to go out tonight. C'mon, it'll be fun…let's just go out and blow off some steam. You're gonna like what I have planned, okay? I promise, baby."


And then I realized that he was sending me away to get ready by myself so he could have some time alone to think. So I gave him my best smile and nodded, "Okay, Jay. Is jeans okay?" "Yep, just wear somethin' nicer than a t-shirt, darlin'." "Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes." I pulled myself up from his lap and ran upstairs. It didn't take me too long to put on a nice pair of dark jeans and a white button up shirt. I played with my hair for a few minutes and then went downstairs to find him. I saw him sitting on the back patio with his guitar in his lap, facing out towards the water. I carefully slid open the patio door and slipped out unnoticed. His hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck and I just had to walk around to the side so that I could see his stunning face. I had never seen his hair off of his face before like that and I must say that I really liked it. He was strumming softly with his eyes closed, still unaware of my presence. A minute later he started playing a song and singing out into the nighttime air. His voice was haunting and beautiful as he sang softly… "I've been thinking of everything I used to want to be…I've been thinking of everythingOf me, of you and me…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…" I watched in silent awe as he swayed back and forth, eyes closed and completely lost in his music. "I'm in the middle of nothing and it's where I want to be…I'm at the bottom of everythingthat I finally start to believe…" He was incredible… "This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…" My skin erupted in goose bumps as his voice just poured emotion out, thick and muddy and absolutely mesmerizing. "And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…And I swear to god I'll find myself in the end…In the end…In the end…In the end…In the end…" It was amazing to me how much of himself he gave when he sang and played his guitar. The raw emotion and lingering passion just flowed from him like a sieve.


"This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…This is the story of my life…These are the lies I have created…This is the story of my life…These are the lies I have created…" When he was finished, I was surprised to hear some cheering and catcalls. I looked out towards the beach to some girls who were hollering about how good he was...and how hot he was. He blushed slightly and put his head down and I smiled, "I can't leave you alone for five minutes before the fan girls descend." He looked over at me now and I was graced with perfect dimples, "It don't matter what they think, baby…I'm on your team." I laughed, "Team Edward?" He smirked, "Nope…Team Tripod. Now, c'mon, pretty boy…we got ourselves a hot date to go on." I blushed deeply and mumbled, "Damn, I was hoping you were too drunk to remember that." He laughed, "Shit, baby…I took pictures…I ain't ever gonna forget that." I groaned, "Pictures? Seriously? Ugh…this date better be good." He set his guitar down and wrapped his arms around me, "I promise, Eddie…it's gonna be a night you'll never forget." I smiled and hardened just a little bit as he grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I wonder where he's taking me…


Chapter Forty-One Playlist: That's How Strong My Love Is by Otis Redding, Not Gonna Get Us by t.A.T.u Jay's POV I pushed all the stupid bullshit about my daddy outta my mind and focused on making this night incredible for my baby boy. I may have the world's biggest dick…but I felt like the world's biggest dick for forgetting our first anniversary. I just hoped he didn't freak out too much… Nah, Eddie's gonna love this shit! I pulled onto the side of the street about half a block away from where we were going. It looked like the place was pretty packed and I prayed like hell that my cocky ass attitude didn't backfire this time. Edward smiled as he looked around, "Where are we, Jay?" I flashed my trademark dimples at him cuz I wasn't sure if he'd be mad and so I figured I should pull out all the ammo I got… "Well, darlin'…I may have to do a little flirtin' to get us in but I promise that it don't mean nothin' and ya know, you can help if ya want or you can just stand there lookin' all pretty and shit cuz that'll probably work just as well…" I was pulled from my rambling by a snap of his fingers, "Jay? Quit rambling. What is this? A club or something?" I let out a breath, "Yep, a club. Let's go." I started to get out as his eyes began surveying the scene around us and I could see his inner gears working, "Wait, Jay…is this an…um…like a bar kind of nightclub? I mean, do they, um…serve alcohol?" I kept my answer simple for fear that he might really freak out on me, "Yes." Then I watched as the dawn of realization washed over his face and his eyes grew wide as he gasped, "A gay club? You brought me to a gay club? What the hell, Jasper?" I put my hands on his shoulder, "Edward? I've never been to a gay club. Neither have you. I wanted our night to be something new for both of us…something we could learn about and experience together."


And I wanna see if I can get you to dance with me in front of everybody… He rolled his eyes, "Are you sure it's not just because you want to get me drunk enough to actually dance?" Freaky mind reading shit… I remembered one night when we were thirteen, after our first kiss, there was a dance at school that we were talkin about. Edward admitted to me that he had never danced, nor did he ever have any desire to dance. I figured it was cuz he didn't know how to dance and I came close to askin' if I could teach him but then I thought that was a really strange thought so I kept my mouth shut. But now… I smiled, "Do you know how to dance, babe?" His cheeks turned crimson and he huffed a little as he looked cautiously out the window, "Well…no…" I laughed and reached over and ran my thumb down his cheek before gently pulling his chin towards me so I could see his pretty green eyes, "I could teach ya…if ya want?" He gave me his crooked grin, "I'm sure you could, um…do you think we can even get in?" I shrugged, "Beats the hell outta me but I thought, y'know…fuck it, carpe diem and all that shit..." He grimaced a little and I quickly added, "We don't have to try if ya don't want, we could just go somewhere else…" He shook his head, "No, we can try…I mean, I am a little curious…but I don't know if I'll feel comfortable enough to dance and even if we manage to get in, I still don't see how we'll get alcohol…" I smirked, "You and me, Eddie…we can get anything we want. C'mon, babe…" I got out of the car and walked around, opening his door and grabbing his hands, pulling him out. I put my arm around him and whispered, "Relax, baby…" He took a deep breath and nodded as we walked up to the guy at the front door. The guy looked at us with a raised eyebrow and I leaned into Edward's ear and whispered, "Use the crooked grin, Eddie…"


He lifted his head and put on that beautiful crooked grin with just a hint of blush in his cheeks and my weapon of choice was dimples. The guy smiled, "Good evening, gentlemen…do you have ID?" I shook my head and decided to pull out the arsenal, making sure my curls fell in front of my eyes just a little and laying thick into my southern drawl, "Well, no sir, we don't have our ID with us tonight…we're just here on vacation and thought that maybe this would be a good place to have a little fun…" He grinned, "Well, what kind of fun are you boys looking for tonight?" I started to speak when Edward interrupted, "Um…we're boyfriends and we're in love…so we're not looking for that kind of fun…" The guy smiled and it seemed like the people standing by broke out in 'Awws' and 'How sweets' and started calling out for the guy to just let us in. Edward blushed and buried his face into my shoulder. "Okay, you two are just too adorable for words…I'll let you in on one condition…" I raised an eyebrow as I brushed my fingers through Eddie's hair, "What's that?" "I get off here in three hours…I want to dance with him." He motioned towards Edward and I could feel my blood starting to boil, "I don't…" But Edward looked up and smiled, "Um, okay, that sounds fair." I was getting ready to probably say something I shouldn't say so he clamped his hand over my mouth and mumbled, "Thanks," before pushing me into the club. When he let go of my mouth, I furrowed my brows, "What the fuck, Edward? You're really gonna dance with that prick…" He smiled, "Jasper, he gets off in three hours…that gives us two and a half hours before we have to leave." I let out a breath, "Oh…okay then." I smiled and leaned into him for a quick kiss. He blushed and we finally started looking around us. The place was packed with men. All kinds of men. Older, younger, short, tall, hot, ugly as sin, half clothed, drunken, happy dancing men.


Edward looked around for a minute before just wrapping his arms around me and burying his head in my chest again, "Wow…there's a lot of…um…people in here." I nodded, "Yeah…let's go find a table and just chill for a little while, okay?" This was a completely new environment for him and while I wasn't all that uncomfortable, I knew that he was because he wasn't used to being in crowds of people…especially gay men. He turned in my arms with his back to my chest and I just kept my arms wrapped around his waist as we pushed our way through the people. We were walking by a table that had some younger guys sitting there and one looked up and smiled, "Hey are you guys looking for a table?" I nodded, "Yeah." He motioned for us to join them, "It's pretty packed tonight, you can sit with us." I pulled out a chair and sat down mumbling "Thanks." I pulled out the chair next to me but smiled when Edward just plopped down on my lap with his arm around my shoulders. I figured he must've needed to be close to me to handle being around so many people. The guy who invited us smiled as he pushed his brown hair from his eyes, "Hey, I'm Joe…this is Trevor…" He went around and introduced us to everyone and I smiled, "I'm Jay…this is my boyfriend, Edward." That's right, fuckers, my boyfriend so don't even think about it…but then again, they probably figured that out since he's all curled up in my lap right now. We all talked a little and these guys were actually pretty cool. They were going to Michigan University and were here for vacation before the semester started. I offered to pay for the next round of drinks if they would buy cuz I didn't wanna chance getting carded. They agreed so I smiled up at Eddie whose eyes were currently looking around in a mixture of excitement, curiosity, and awe, "Hey darlin', what'cha wanna drink?" His face was flushed as he mumbled quietly, "Um…I don't know…uh…beer?" I smiled, "Baby, you don't really like beer that much…why don't you get a margarita or somethin'?" He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Will that make me look too girly?"


I chuckled and whispered, "Eddie, we're in a gay bar surrounded by grown men in boy shorts and angel wings…" He laughed for a second before furrowing his brows a little like he was in deep thought, when Trevor smiled, "Try a Hurricane, Edward…you can barely taste the alcohol." He nodded, "Okay…I'll try it. What about you, Jay?" I shook my head, "I'll just have a Coke." He looked at me confused, "You aren't drinking?" "No, baby, I gotta drive us home. You go ahead, baby boy, get fucked up…don't worry, I'll enjoy the benefits later." Drunk Edward = Horny as Fuck Edward I smirked and he rolled his eyes with a sweet laugh. The waitress brought out the drinks a few minutes later and he sipped happily, "Mmm…this is so good!" Everyone talked for awhile and the more Edward drank, the more comfortable he got. He was talking and starting to dance around a little in my lap. I paid attention to the guys at the next table over in order to not throw Edward down over this table and fuck the ever lovin' daylights outta him right here in front of everyone. The guys at the next table were older, probably thirties or some shit…the thing that made them stand out to me over everyone else was that you could see how madly in love they were. They were facing each other, always touching…running fingers through the hair and sliding the fingers up and down their arms…they were so lost in each other that nothing around them seemed to even register. Sometimes they didn't even have to speak, one would give the other a 'look' and the other one would nod knowingly and usually laugh…absorbed in they're own little private jokes and stories. I hoped that me and Edward would be like that someday. That even after fifteen or twenty years of each other…we would still get be so crazy in love…completely captive of one another. Son of whore that feels good… He was now bouncing on my lap as he closed his eyes and got lost in the music. Just then some guy walked up and smiled as he reached out and tapped Edward's shoulder, "If this boy won't take you out on the dance floor, honey, then why don't you let a real man like me take you?" Oh hell no…


Edward's eyes were wide as he tightened his fingers around mine, which were tightening into a fist. I wanted to hit the guy…that was my first instinct…but I didn't really wanna bring any trouble in on us so I kept my calm. I looked up at Edward and smiled, "Will you stand up for a minute, baby?" His eyes pleaded with me so I reassured him, "It's gonna be okay, Eddie, don't worry." He reluctantly stood and then I stood face to face with this old arrogant retard who thought he actually had a fuckin' chance with my motherfuckin' boy… I was actually a couple inches taller than him so I just put on my best 'fuck you' smile and spoke down to him, "Because I promised that I'd be good tonight…I'm gonna go against my very fuckin' nature and not beat the fuck outta you…but if I hear one more motherfuckin' word from you…I'm gonna rip your body limb from limb and burn the fuckin' pieces…so, go ahead…ask my boyfriend if he wants to dance again." The guy just stared at me wide eyed for a moment before turning around and stomping off. I sat back down and pulled Edward in my lap again. He smiled, "You are so jealous." "Edward, in case you haven't noticed…I'm fuckin' possessive of shit that belongs to me. You fuckin' belong to me. Besides don't act like you're not jealous…if someone came over and asked me to dance, I'm sure I'd have to hold you back." He shook his head, "Nah…I know you're mine so…" Just then some man came up and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head just in time to hear Edward growl, "Back off, he's mine!" The guy held his hands up, "Uh, sorry…I actually just wanted to know if we could have that chair you're not using?" I smirked at Eddie as he ducked his head sheepishly into my shoulder. I laughed, "Yeah, man…go ahead and take it." The guy grabbed the chair and left. I wrapped my arms around my boy, "Not jealous at all, huh?" He chuckled against my neck, "Well, maybe just a little." We both laughed for a minute and then I brushed my lips against his ear and whispered, "Wanna dance?"


He stiffened a little and cleared his throat, "Uh…I don't really know how…" I laughed softly and pulled his chin up so I could look in those pretty green eyes, "Bullshit, Eddie…you've been bouncing around on my lap for half an hour now…c'mon, baby…dance with me…please?" He took a deep breath and slowly stood. I laced my fingers with his and pulled him out onto the dance floor. Truth be known, I had never danced before to this kind of music. It was like some fast club music but any excuse to rub up against Eddie was good enough for me. He stood in front of me and anxiously looked around at all the people surrounding us. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled his body flush with mine. That got his attention as he brought his pretty eyes up to mine. I smiled, "The only thing I want you to see, hear, and feel is me, alright? It's just you and me…nobody else can get in." He nodded and his eyes stared into mine. His eyes were unlike anything I had ever seen before…they were completely captivating and I found myself taking a deep breath so that I could focus. His arms were around my neck and his body was pressed against mine. The music was fast and the beat was pounding but I figured we should start out slow. He whispered into my neck, "The music is too fast, Jay…what if I can't do it?" Luckily, I was always prepared…like a good soldier always should be. I pulled out my Ipod and Edward raised an eyebrow. I smiled, "First, you can absofuckin-lutely do it, Edward. You can do anything you wanna do. Second, I figured we should start out on something slow." He smiled and nodded as I flipped through the songs. When I found one I thought it would be easy to dance to, I put one bud in his ear and the other in mine. When it started playing, he looked at me questioningly and I just smiled, "Don't judge me." He laughed and laid his head on my shoulder as Otis Redding played. I started moving slowly to the music and he followed suit…only he was very rigid and would barely move. I smiled and brought my hands to his waist, "Edward? I know you can move your hips better than that…c'mon, baby boy…dance with me…" I started moving his hips and I watched as his eyes closed and he let out a breath. It took him a minute but then he began moving with me on his own. My knee slipped between his legs and I could feel him growing hard against my hip. His arms tightened around my neck as my lips went to his.


We kissed softly as his fingers separated my curls and mine brushed along his back underneath his shirt. And we danced…not at all to the beat of the song that everyone else was dancing to but we were so lost in each other that it didn't really matter…which isn't all that uncommon for us. When the song ended, he smiled at me, "I liked that." I smiled back, "Oh yeah? The song or dancin' with me?" He ducked his head and I saw a faint blush cover his cheeks, "Both." We sat back down cuz he wanted another drink and I wanted a cigarette. I pulled him into my lap and he laughed, "Aren't I crushing you yet? I could get a chair…" He started to stand and I yanked him back down and wrapped my arms around his waist, "Uh uh…sit your pretty ass down here, baby." He giggled and began sipping on his next drink. As he worked on that, one of the guys at our table leaned over, "Hey man, we're going to go out back and smoke…you guys want to come?" I nodded, "Hell yeah." I couldn't drink but a motherfuckin' joint would hit the spot right now. Eddie downed his drink and laced his fingers through mine as we walked out through the back of the club. One of the guys lit up a joint and soon enough, I was feeling much more relaxed. I raised an eyebrow when Edward took the joint. He shrugged, "Do you care?" I rolled my eyes, "I'm not your fuckin' dad, man…you don't have to ask my permission for anything. I just want you to let loose, Eddie…have some fun…do stupid shit…be a fuckin' teenager." He smiled and blushed again as he took a big hit from the joint. But it was too big and he immediately started hacking. I rubbed his back, "Ya gotta take baby hits, Eddie…I know you smoked with that douche bag back home but…" He coughed out, "I didn't inhale…" Now I laughed, "Seriously? Then why were you even smoking?" He looked up at me through blood shot eyes and smiled sheepishly, "I was trying to make you jealous but was too afraid to do it without you."


Aww…sweet little fucker… When the joint came back around to me, I smiled, "Okay, Eddie…I'm gonna teach you how to do a shotgun." He furrowed his brows and I just smiled, "It won't be as harsh on you, okay babe. Just inhale and hold the smoke as long as you can when I press my lips to yours, okay?" He nodded and stood there, concentrating all hard and shit…it was fuckin' adorable. I put the cherry in my mouth and wrapped my lips around the joint so that just the end was sticking out between my lips, then I grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to mine. As soon as I felt them, I started blowing out slowly so he could breathe the smoke in. I held the hair at the nape of his neck and his hands slid around my waist and then into my back pockets as he pressed me against the wall. He groaned against my lips and I felt him hard and thick against me. He slowly pulled away and those pretty green eyes were half lidded, looking so fuckin' sexy that I couldn't help myself. He was still holding the smoke behind those cherry lips and my mouth was fuckin' watering cuz the thought of the taste of Edward's mouth and some bud… I handed the joint off as I grabbed him by the back of his neck and brought his lips to mine again. His lips parted easily and the smoke slowly seeped out between us as we kissed. But he was so worked up that he stumbled into me until my back hit the wall again. We both laughed a little but we didn't stop kissing. And he tasted fuckin' incredible. Pot and Edward's tongue…mmm… His hands slid into my back pockets again and pulled me into him. One of my hands twisted in that crazy bronze hair while the other trailed down his chest and stomach and on it's way to wrap around that hard, thick… "Holy shit, I'd like to be in the middle of that sandwich!" Edward pulled away and both of us were panting as we looked over. It had escaped our attention that we were surrounded by a ton of people during our little make out session. Joe was laughing, "You two are crazy! I have never seen any two people into each other more than you!" Trevor smiled, "Joe, look at them. I can understand why they get so worked up."


Edward's whole face was red and he buried his head into my shoulder. I whispered in his ear, "They're just teasing us, Edward. Remember what I taught you back when we were in Junior High? Attitude is everything." He nodded and took a deep breath before lifting his head. Then I watched as he flipped the switch, just like he used to do when we spent our first summer together. He smiled that sexy crooked smile and his eyes were brilliant as he smoothly said, "That's all you get for free…if you want to see the rest of the show, it's going to cost you." Everyone's eyes went wide and I laughed, "Nice, Edward." He started laughing and soon everyone else was too. I wrapped my arm around him and we walked back inside. He whispered into my ear, "Thanks for the save, Jay." I smiled, "Anytime, Eddie." Then his familiar blush came to his cheeks again as he smiled, "By the way…that shotgun was fucking awesome." Some of the guys had stayed behind and saved our seats for us. Edward began working on his next drink and it wasn't long before he was bouncin' around in my lap again. Motherfuckin' son of a…there's gotta be a place I can take him and fuck him somewhere in this club…the bathroom's probably not a good place…hmm…over by the DJ booth…behind the curtain…that's a possibility…or I could just take him home and fuck him…fuck it, I could just fuck him in the car…the windows are tinted and the parking lot we're parked in is pretty dim… I was brought out of my serious contemplation about where to fuck Edward when he jumped out of my lap and grabbed my hands, "Dance with me, Jay…the music sounds so fucking good…" He was flushed and his eyes were lidded and bloodshot but he wore a beautiful crooked grin. I smiled at him, "How much have you had to drink tonight, Edward?" He giggled and I started laughing as I stood up and wrapped my arms around him, "You're fuckin' wasted, huh?" He giggled again and nodded. I laughed and grabbed his hand, "Well, then let's dance before ya sober up."


I led him out into the sea of men where we found our own little space on the dance floor. I was still half expecting to have to coax him a little but my Eddie always surprised me. He turned in my arms with his back against my chest. He wrapped his arms back behind my neck and then the boy proceeded to grind the fuck outta my cock with that oh-so-fuckable ass of his. That was all it took for me to fucking love this music too. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck as my arms wrapped around his waist. I couldn't stop myself from letting my hand graze the length of his cock through his jeans and I was rewarded by his ass pushing harder against me and a growl. I fuckin' love it when he growls… Our bodies moved together to the music, in perfect sync with each other as we always seemed to be. Soon we were sticky with sweat and panting from either the heat or desire…probably both. My cock was fuckin' pulsing against my zipper and screamin' at me, "Free Monsieur Le Cock! Viva la freedom!" But before I could start plannin' a jailbreak for Grande Le Cock…Edward groaned in my ear and whispered, "While you were spacing off earlier, Trevor told me about a blind spot back behind the DJ booth. He said guys sometimes hooked up behind that long curtain. Let's try it out, Jay…I fucking need you…" I fuckin' love this boy… I took his ear lobe between my teeth and told him so, "I fuckin' love you, Edward…" He laughed softly and whispered, "I fucking love you too, Jay…I'll love you even more when you're inside me…" Fuck, I love this boy…I know I already said it but…fuck, I love this boy… I grabbed his hand and started pulling him along. Once we reached the wall with the long velvet red curtains, I pulled them back and Edward gasped. Apparently Trevor was right cuz there were several guys behind the curtain against the wall. Some were giving blow jobs, some were fucking, and the others were well on their way to doing one of those two things. I pulled his ear to my lips and whispered, "Edward, I don't know if I wanna fuck you in front of all these guys…"


He groaned and whined, "Please, Jay…please…I need you so fucking bad, baby…who cares about these guys…I don't…I want you…please…" But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do it…Edward wasn't some cheap fuck against a dirty wall… Then he turned in my arms and pushed his hard cock against mine as he moaned, "Jay, I'm going to fucking explode if you don't touch me soon." I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, "Alright, Edward…I'm gonna take care of you, okay baby?" He nodded as I pulled him back behind the curtain. My back was against the wall as I pulled him to me and kissed him hard while my hands began undoing his belt and jeans. Then I pulled away and dropped to my knees. Edward gasped as he looked down at me, "Jay, what are you…" I pulled his cock out through the hole in his boxers and winked at him before taking him into my mouth. He moaned loudly as his hands pressed against the wall and he pushed himself even deeper down my throat. I could already taste the drops of pre-cum leaking from his plump head. His dick was hard as granite and the head was all purple and engorged from straining for so long. I knew it wouldn't take him long. I swallowed around his cock before coming back up and swirling my tongue around the tip. My hand wrapped around him and squeezed up with a flick of the wrist, causing drops of his nut to drip onto my tongue that I stuck out, waiting for his sweet taste. He watched me with hooded eyes as I flicked my tongue over his slit and sucked the head gently into my mouth before plunging back down. Now his hips started moving and one of his hands came down and tangled in my hair, holding me in place as he started fucking my mouth. My dick was fuckin' pounding and starting to hurt it was so hard. I kept my eyes on his as he thrusted desperately into my mouth and it didn't take long until his eyes rolled back in his head and his dick twitched and pulsed in my mouth. He came deep down my throat and I swallowed every last drop and licked the tip a few times to make sure I got it all.


I tucked him back into his jeans and redid everything before standing back up. He was panting as his arms went around my neck. He whispered a breathless, "Thank you, Jay." I laughed, "You're welcome, babe. You ready to get outta here now?" He shook his head and pulled away with that sexy crooked grin, "I still want to fuck." The boy is fuckin' insatiable… I groaned cuz I was already suffering from a serious case of blue balls and hearing him talk like that wasn't helping my case any. "Edward? I just…do you really wanna fuck here? In front of all these guys?" He giggled as his hands went to my zipper, "What happened to carpe diem and all that shit, Jay?" I was leaning against the wall as he undid my jeans and pulled my cock out. He stroked it a few times as my eyes closed and my hands gripped his hips. He whispered, "Do you have any lube, baby?" I took a breath and nodded, "Left pocket." He chuckled as he reached his hand into my pocket and pulled out the baggie. Now he laughed, "Condoms, lube, and are those baby wipes?" I nodded and smiled as I opened my eyes, "You know I like to be prepared…and before you say it, I'm not a fuckin' boy scout." He just shook his head as he smiled, "Were you planning on getting lucky tonight?" I smirked, "Luck has nothing to do with it." He pulled out a condom and ripped the top off with his teeth. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming out as he furrowed his brows and concentrated real hard on putting the condom on me cuz watching him do that was damn near enough to make me cum. Once it was on, he opened the pack of lube and smiled, "Why the condom anyway? We don't even use them." I was so fuckin' worked up now that I could barely talk, "Didn't wanna…make a mess…"


He laughed and leaned into my ear, "But I like the way it feels to have your hot cum leaking out of my thoroughly used ass…" Motherfucker… I grabbed the lube from his hand and spun him around, pressing him face first against the wall. I tore off the condom and just sorta threw it somewhere, hopefully not hitting anyone but I was too fuckin' horny to give a fuck at this point. I squeezed some lube into my hand and growled, "Pull your fuckin' jeans down." He giggled as he slid them down over his hips and then he wiggled his ass at me as he looked back over his shoulder with that crooked grin. I slid a wet finger inside of him and he pushed back easily onto it. So I added another and began stretching him out. He was driving me crazy with the moaning and pushing against the wall so that he was fucking himself on my fingers. I pulled them out and stroked my cock a few times until it was slick and ready. Then I put my hand between his shoulder blades and whispered, "Stay still, Edward…I don't wanna hurt you…" He nodded and I started to slowly push the head in. My eyes squeezed shut as I pushed past that tight ring of muscle. He was so fuckin' tight and so fuckin' warm… He stayed still until I was finally all the way inside of him. I pulled out slowly until just the head was in and then pushed back in with one deep thrust. He moaned, "Oh fuck, Jay…harder…" I gripped his hips and began fuckin' him good and hard against the wall. He was pushing back into me and I could hear the slapping of our skin even over the loud music. We were both panting and growling and sweating. It wasn't gonna take me long either. I wrapped my arms around his waist to hold him as I closed my eyes and buried my face into the back of his shoulder. My knees were aching from the exertion and my whole body was on fire. He turned his head and whispered, "Cum for me, Jay…cum deep inside me so when I feel it trickling out later, I'll remember this…" I growled, "You're such a fuckin' dirty boy…ya want me to cum?"


I stopped moving and whispered, "Make me cum, Eddie." I could feel the muscles in his stomach clenching against my hands as he started ramming himself back onto me…thoroughly fuckin' me hard and proper. We were both growling and I could taste the salty sweat on the back of his neck as I sucked and bit while he fucked me. A minute later, I bit down hard so it could muffle my screams as I fuckin' exploded inside of him. My whole body pulsed and trembled as he continued fucking me through my orgasm. I finally reached down and stilled his hips cuz I couldn't take anymore. I panted, "Jesus Christ, Edward…ya gotta stop, baby…I can't take no more…" He laughed softly and turned his head, "I think I like being called a dirty boy." I laughed now too, "Well, come here and give me a kiss, dirty boy." We kissed softly and when it ended, I slowly pulled out of him. I pulled up my jeans and Edward pulled his up. I heard someone say, "Hey Blondie!" I turned my head and saw one of the guys that had been out in the alley earlier. He grabbed my hand and slapped a hundred dollar bill in it before smiling, "Seeing the rest of the show was definitely worth the money." Then he turned and left. I just stood there a moment, completely fuckin' dumbfounded. Edward and I had just fucked in front of God knows how many guys. Now I could feel my cheeks starting to burn as I turned to Edward, "Can you believe that guy…" But Edward was slumped over in the corner fast asleep. I shoved the money in my pocket and crouched down, "Dude, wake up! C'mon, Eddie!" He lifted his head and his eyes were almost completely red as he hummed, "Hmm?" I put my arms around him, "On your feet soldier…" He giggled as I helped him up.


I had my arm around his waist, "Can you walk? Ya gotta wake up, baby…I can't carry you outta here…" He mumbled sleepily, "What are you talking about? I'm not even tired…" And then his head fell to my shoulder and his body went limp. I cursed under my breath. I should've known better than to get him off in public…he always passes out afterwards. I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do. I was strong and all but even I couldn't carry him all the way to the car and still open the doors and shit…not to mention that if any cops saw us, Edward would definitely warrant a public intoxication arrest. I tried again, lifting his chin and pleading, "Edward? Come on, man…you gotta wake up for just ten minutes and you can sleep on the way home!" He mumbled but his eyes didn't open, "I'm not drunk…" I groaned and mumbled, "Fuck it…" I picked him up and carried out from behind the curtain. I carried him to the nearest chair and sat him down. I stood next to him as he leaned against me, snoring, and I looked around to see if maybe I could find one of the guys from our table to help me out. Instead, I saw the two guys that had been at the table behind us that I was watching earlier walk up, hand in hand. "Looks like your boyfriend had an excellent time." I sighed, "Yeah, I can't wake him up and I can't get him to the car by myself." They smiled and one of them spoke, "Would you like some help, son?" I nodded, "That would be real nice of you, sir." I had watched them together earlier that night and I was a pretty good judge of character so I trusted these guys. They laughed in unison and the taller one stuck his hand out, "I'm Jack and this is my husband, Eli." I smiled and shook their hands, "I'm Jasper…this is my boyfriend, Edward. Thanks for the help."


Jack looked down at Edward for a moment before sighing, "Okay, you get him from that side and I'll get this one. Honey, will you get the doors for us?" Eli nodded, "Of course, babe." We both wrapped an arm underneath Edward's shoulders and lifted him to his feet. It wasn't as hard to get through the club with the extra help. Eli motioned for us, "Let's take him through the back door, the front always has cops out there." Once we got out into the alleyway, Jack stopped, "Which way is your car?" I threw a look down the alley to the street, "That way and then left about a block." He nodded and we continued carrying Edward along. Eli laughed, "So, I take it, this is the first time to the club for you boys?" I laughed, "Yeah, first and last…for awhile anyway." Jack smirked, "Yeah, maybe you should wait until you're twenty one next time…that should be, what, in about five years." I grimaced and Edward now laughed and mumbled, "He's only sixteen but his cock is full grown…" I laughed, "Classy, Edward." He giggled again, "Who were those guys trying to fool? Their wings weren't even real…you could see the Velcro…did I say that right…Velcro…that doesn't even sound like a real word…" Then he leaned over to Jack and whispered, "Did you know that Jasper's an angel? I mean, a real one. He has wings and everything…real wings…they're beautiful…" Then he grabbed the back of my shirt and lifted it up, "See? I'm not crazy…they are real…" And then he was snoring again. I cleared my throat, "Uh…sorry, he's really trashed." Jack smiled, "Trashed or not, he thinks you're an angel. You must be doing something right, kid." Eli laughed, "How long have you guys been together anyway?"


Edward opened his eyes and smiled, "Like twenty three years now…" And then he crashed again. I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, let's see…we had our first kiss at thirteen…we started makin' out at fourteen…we fell in love by fifteen…so it's been three years now…fuck, it seems like a lot longer than that…" Edward mumbled again, "Forty seven years…" Eli smiled, "That is so cute. You two are an adorable couple. Jack and I have been together since our freshman year of college. It will be seventeen years next month." I smiled, "That's fuckin' awesome. I can't wait till me and Eddie have that kind of history together." Jack laughed now, "Yeah, I remember the first time I had to get a buddy of mine to help me carry Eli to the car. He couldn't hold his liquor and he yakked all over my shoes." Eli smirked and then Edward mumbled, "That's too bad…those are really nice shoes…" We finally made it to the parking lot and I fished the keys outta my pocket as Jack and Eli kept Edward upright. I quickly opened the passenger door and they helped me get Edward inside. I laid his seat back and buckled his seat belt before finally turning to Jack and Eli, "Hey, thanks for the help. You guys really saved my ass tonight." They just smiled and Jack shook his head, "No need to thank us. I could see that you needed help and was afraid that someone might try and take advantage of you. You two really need to be careful when you're out and about…you're so young. You haven't been drinking, have you because we could call you a cab…" I shook my head, "No, sir, I haven't been drinkin'. I stayed sober so I could drive." He nodded, "Okay, then, well it was a pleasure to meet you, Jasper. Drive home safe." I nodded, "I will. Thanks again." They turned to Edward and Eli laughed, "Good night, Edward…it was nice to meet you." Edward was curled in the fetal position as he mumbled, "It's weird that I'm gay because I fucking love tacos…"


Eli smiled, "Lots of water and Tylenol in the morning…" I nodded, "Yeah." "Good night, Jasper. Take care, boys." They turned and left and I quickly shut Edward's door and was soon driving us back home. Edward was out but was constantly mumbling about random crazy shit… "This bed is sooo comfortable…" "I hate broccoli…brussell cheese…cheese rocks…"

sprouts

are

okay…but

only

if

they

have

"Come to the dark side, Jay…" "I like Wal-Mart…Kmart sucks…" "Garden gnomes scare the shit out of me…" I was laughing my ass off but trying to keep it down so I wouldn't wake him but suddenly he shot up, wide eyed and pointing out the window. "Look, Jay! Taco Bell! I fucking love tacos! Can we stop? Please?" I figured that it might be good to feed him, it might soak up some of the alcohol. I pulled in the drive thru and ordered my boy a shit load of tacos and a large ice water. He killed the tacos on the way home and was passed out again by the time we got there. I did manage to get him coherent enough to make it inside the house. He couldn't make it up the stairs though so I picked him up and got him to the bed. I laid him down and pulled off his socks and shoes. Then I unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans off. I stripped down to my boxers and curled up next to him. I fell asleep in no time. I was awakened by the sound of Edward throwing up in the bathroom. I pulled myself out of bed and walked in. He was hugging the toilet as he groaned, "Don't watch me, Jay…it's really gross…" I smiled as I grabbed a washcloth and got it wet, "Hey at least you didn't yak on my shoes."


He looked up at me with furrowed brows, "Huh? Did I throw up on your shoes?" I shook my head, "No, baby boy. Here, this might help." I laid the washcloth across the back of his neck and he sighed, "That feels so good." I sat down on the floor next to him and rubbed his back as he went at it a few more times. When it seemed like he was done, I helped him up and brushed his teeth for him. Then I gave him a big glass of water to wash the icky taste out of his mouth. I helped him back to bed and grabbed some Tylenol. He washed them down and took a few more drinks of the water. I re-wetted the washcloth and laid it across his forehead as he curled up on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair and he sighed, "You're my best friend, Jay…I love you…" I kissed his hair and smiled, "I love you too, Edward…now get some rest, baby, so you can feel better tomorrow." I was exhausted and fell asleep again right away. When I woke up the next time, the sun was streaking in through the window. Edward had somehow managed to sleep with his entire body on top of mine. He was curled up and snoring peacefully. I wrapped my arms around him and gently rolled him over to the side of me. But when I tried to slide my arms away so that I could get out of bed, his hand reached out and felt around until it felt mine. Then he gripped my hand in his and pulled it over his heart. His fingers started brushing my fingertips and he sighed with a soft smile, "Mmm…lovely…" I couldn't help but smile as he slept. I reached my free hand up and very softly ran my fingertips over his smooth lips. I sighed, "Mmm…lovely…" I watched him sleep for awhile and just enjoyed the moment. Edward was beautiful when he slept…I mean, he was beautiful all the time but when he was sleeping well, he was…kind of angelic or some shit. There wasn't a trace of anxiety or doubt on his face…he was peaceful. It was…lovely. Eventually, nature called and I had to get outta bed. I took a piss and headed downstairs. It was almost one o'clock and I knew I was gonna have to talk to my dad soon. My stomach churned at the thought.


I stepped out on the back patio and lit a cigarette. I really didn't wanna deal with my dad sober. The only reason we were able to tolerate each other as long as we did was cuz we were both always trashed. I finished my square and went back inside. Eddie was still sleeping so I went to the bar and looked through the cabinets. Em had said we could drink so I grabbed a bottle of vodka and walked into the kitchen. I poured some in a glass and jumped up on the counter. I sighed and started just swishing it around a little… Maybe if I can hold out long enough for Edward to wake up, he'll talk me out of it…he'll make me feel better and I won't need this shit… But he didn't make it in time and by the time he did come down the stairs, I was pretty fucked up. I looked up and smiled, "Mornin', darlin…you feelin' alright?" He smiled, "Yeah, I don't feel that bad…thanks for taking care of me." I shrugged, "S'no problem, Eddie…" He furrowed his brows and started walking over to me, "Jay? Are you drinking?" I giggled, "Yeah…sorry I tried to wait for you but it was takin' too long…" He came over and picked up the vodka bottle and started screwing the cap back on. Then he took the glass from my hands and put it in the sink. He walked over in front of me and put his hands on my knees as he looked up at me, "Jasper, what's wrong?" I shrugged, "Nothin'…I'm good…everything's cool…how are you?" I was getting a little dizzy as I looked down at him and he wrapped his arms around my waist, "Let's get you off this countertop, Jay." I shook my head, "No…I don't wanna leave this countertop…I'm happy here…" He sighed as he reached up and held my chin, "You don't have to leave the countertop if you don't want to, Love…I just don't want you to fall." I mumbled, "That short fall from this countertop to that floor is the least of my fuckin' worries, Edward." He slid his hand to my cheek and I closed my eyes and curled my face into it. He whispered, "What are you worried about, Jay?"


I took a deep breath as my stomach twisted, "I gotta talk to my dad, Edward. I gotta talk to my dad and he's gonna be pissed…like, super pissed. He can take this all away from me. He can make me go back to Texas. I'm happy here cuz I'm with you and he can take me away from you. I don't wanna go back. I'm happy here…on this countertop…with your arms around me…I'm happy and I'm scared it's all gonna go to hell again." He jumped up on the countertop next to me and pulled me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he whispered, "No matter what happens with this phone call, we're going to be alright. Worst case scenario, you do have to go back to Texas…it won't be like last time, Jay. You'll have your phone so we can talk everyday, you can use some of that money your grandma gave you to buy a computer and a webcam so we could see each other that way…hell, you could even get an Xbox and we could play games online together. If it happens, it's only two years until we're eighteen, Jay. We can make it two years." I pulled away and looked into those pretty green eyes, "You're willing to wait for me?" He smiled, "You silly boy, I would wait an eternity for you." I smiled now, "Edward? You're my best friend too." He furrowed his brows, "Huh?" I laughed, "Last night right before you fell asleep…you told me that I was your best friend…and then you passed out for the hundredth time." He blushed as he grinned, "Man, I was really wasted last night. I don't remember anything after that blow job you gave me." "Um, Edward? You don't remember us fuckin'?" He shook his head, "No…wait…did somebody pay us?" I laughed, "Yep, a hundred bucks…if college doesn't work out for us, Eddie…we can always make a career in porn." He rolled his eyes, "A career in porn? Jay, if we were porn stars…we would own the whole damn industry…I mean, look at us…we'd be billionaires. Boys gone wild…" He laughed now and jumped off the counter. I wrapped my arms around him and let him help me to my feet. He let out a deep breath and handed me the phone, "Come on, babe…let's get this over with." I nodded and followed him into the living room. He sat down on the couch and laid his long legs along it as he pulled me in between them. I wrapped my arms


around his waist as he played with hair. I curled up on his chest and closed my eyes. After a minute, I took a deep breath and mumbled, "Fuck it," before dialing my aunt Barb's house. "Yello?" "Hey Jeremiah, it's Jay." "What up, cuz?" I closed my eyes and focused on the beat of Edward's heart, "Is daddy there?" I heard him sigh, "Yeah, man, he's here. He doesn't know for sure yet so you can always deny the fuck out of it, Jay. You don't have to tell him that you're…uh…y'know…" I let out a breath, "Yeah, I know I can deny it…I'm scared half to death to tell him but I'm done lying. If he asks me then I'm gonna tell him the truth. I am who I am…and he can deal with it or fuck off…in fact, I'd prefer it if he'd just fuck off…" Jeremiah laughed, "You're one hard headed son of a bitch, cuz…but ya got balls…big hairy Whitlock balls…and I was thinkin' that I could talk to the guys for ya if ya wanted me too…I mean, if this shit's gonna be made public, you're gonna need your family if ya come back to Texas." I grimaced, "I dunno, man…what do ya think the guys will say? I'm sure they ain't gonna be too cool with it." He huffed, "Dude? Ain't not one of em got any room to judge you! Brandon has this freaky midget fetish and I walked in on Josh last year getting spanked by a girl in a Corrections Officer uniform…we all got our issues, man…you just happen to like big purple headed dicks…y'know…whatever…" I smiled, "You're a silly motherfucker, Cuz." "Yeah, I know…hang on a sec, Cuz…I'll go get Uncle Wayne." I heard some yelling as he called for my daddy. My stomach twisted again when I heard his voice. "Jasper Wayne Whitlock, where the hell are you?" "Um…up north." "I want your ass back here now, Jasper!"


"No, I'm spending the summer with my friends…" "Did you say no to me? What the hell's gotten into you, boy? Was that bitch right? Are you a fuckin' faggot now? You hangin' out with your little queer friends?" I rolled my eyes, "Dad? Since when have you ever given a fuck what I do? I didn't even see your sorry ass for three fuckin' years and now you wanna try and be my fuckin' dad? Fuck you!" "Listen here you little shit…I came to that miserable fuckin' town to see you and you were nowhere to be found! I guess I know now that you were off with your little fuckin' boyfriend takin' it up the ass!" I laughed, "Yep, you're right, dad. I love being fucked in the ass…Edward has a nice, big, juicy dick and I love to suck it and fuck it…" "That's enough, Jasper! I want you back home by the end of the week! End of fuckin' discussion!" I screamed, "No, it's not the fuckin' end of the discussion you drunk fuck! You never wanted me before! Why now? You left me with mama and all those fuckin' men she was with! Do you have any idea what the fuck I've been through? I have scars all over my fuckin' body cuz you didn't give a fuck! They beat the shit outta me…mama would disappear for fuckin' days at a time and leave me alone with no fuckin' food in the house…they taught me how to rob and steal and do drugs…who do you think gave me the fuckin' knife that I got busted with in school? Who do you think gave me the drugs that got me locked up for six months? Did you ever visit me? Send me one fuckin' letter? No…you didn't give a fuck when I needed you, well I don't fuckin' need you anymore, you fuckin' piece of shit!" "I couldn't take you away from your mama, son! She needed you!" I sat up and stomped off outside to smoke a cigarette, Edward was right behind me. "Mama needed me, huh? So, you put the needs of some bitch who wouldn't even stay sober for you ahead of your only son's?" He snapped, "Show some fuckin' respect you little prick!" I yelled back, "Why? Cuz you and mama taught me to be all well mannered and shit? The only people who have ever taught me anything is the fuckin' Cullen's! This, right now…this is me actin' the way you taught me! All you do is scream and cuss and fuckin' bully me! But guess what, dad? I ain't a little kid no more! And one thing you did teach me was to stand up to fuckin bullies so fuck you!"


"If I would've known that that little fairy doctor and his god damn goody two shoes wife were gonna turn you into one of them, then I would've hauled your ass back home years ago!" I sat down on a patio chair and Edward sat beside me. He started rubbing the back of my neck and he whispered, "Calm down, Jay. You're better than this." I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, "Look, dad…if Dr. Cullen and his family wouldn't have helped me…I would most likely be locked up right now. They gave me a place to stay when no one wanted me…they fed me…bought me clothes…did you know that before I left school last year, I had a 3.7 gpa? I was on the starting defense on the football team…I had friends…I had a future. If I go back to Texas, I lose it all." He chuckled like the asshole he is, "So, it's about the money, then? You're just a fuckin' gold digger now like your mama?" "I know you think it's about the money cuz that's what mama always taught me…go after money…but that has nothin' to do with it. I know that I could tell Carlisle anything and he would never raise a hand to me or call me a bad name…when I was hurt after I got jumped, Esme took care of me without shoving pills down my throat…she listened to me and let me be mad or be sad without laughing at me or callin' me a pussy…you think their lives are perfect but you're wrong. They've all had it rough…even rougher than me but they still treat each other right. They don't drag each other down…" "I'm not tryin' to drag you down, Jasper…I'm raisin' you the best way I know how. You can't be soft, son…this world will rip you apart if you can't take it. Ya think my daddy didn't beat the shit outta me when I was a kid? It's called 'tough love', son… " I shook my head, "No, daddy…it's called abuse and neglect. I have enough things goin' against me already without havin' you and mama against me too. I mean, I couldn't even talk to you today until I was good and fucked up and you're nearly 3000 miles away from me right now. I don't wanna be like this…I want out. I want a fuckin' chance, dad. I ain't never asked you for nothin' my whole life but I'm fuckin' beggin' you now…please…don't make me come back…give me a chance…I swear I'll check in with you…you can even come and visit me and I'll come visit you…please, daddy…" He was quiet for a minute and my heart stopped cuz that meant he was considering it. But I should've known better. "You have until the first of August to come back home, Jasper. If you're not here, then I'm gettin' the cops involved and the fuckin' Cullen's will be first on my list."


I couldn't stop myself as the anger welled up inside of me and I fuckin' exploded, "Fuck you! I ain't fuckin' scared of you! I got plenty of money to last me awhile and I ain't ever comin' back! Get the cops involved, you mother fucker, and see what kind of shit I tell them! Half the scars I got are from you!" He was calm now but I could hear the slurring of his words as he chuckled, "Son? Who do ya think the cops are gonna believe? Some little punk who's already been locked up twice or a former Marine Staff Sergeant? I know you ain't that smart, son, but use your fuckin' head. Now, I want you home by the first of the month and that's a fuckin' order." And before I could say anything else, he hung up. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. Edward pried the phone from my hand. I sat there for a minute and tried to calm myself down. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths…but then I hit the fuckin' brick wall on the patio. I hissed and pulled back my hand, my knuckles were fucked and bleeding but I felt better. Edward grabbed my wrist and I screamed, "Fuck!" He grimaced, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you…" I shook my head, "You didn't…" He examined it very gently and asked, "Does it feel broken?" I squeezed my eyes shut, "No…just hurts like a son of a bitch." "Come on…let me get it clean and bandaged." He led me inside and washed it off underneath the sink. I hopped up on the countertop as he started wrapping it up for me. I sighed, "You see, Edward? This is why I didn't wanna leave this countertop." He looked up at me and I could see the worry in those pretty green eyes, "Jay? Are you running?" I groaned and ran my good hand over my face, "I dunno, man. I don't know what I'm gonna do but I gotta figure this shit out soon." He nodded and continued bandaging my hand. I heard him whisper softly, "If you run, I'm coming with you." And I seriously thought about it for like ten seconds, before sighing and lifting his chin up to look at me, "Edward, I can't let you do that. You have school and a family who actually care about you. I'm not letting you fuck up your whole life for me. I won't."


He hopped on the counter next to me and put his hands on my hips, "I'm not asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know where you are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time." I closed my eyes and thought about what happened last time we were apart. Images of Edward in that hospital flashed through my mind…pictures of him lying there with tubes shoved down his throat as they flushed him with charcoal to keep him from dying due to an accidental overdose…visions of him staring out the windows for hours, completely detached from the real world… I can't put him through that again…I can't put Carlisle and Esme and Peter through that…fuck, I'm going back to Texas…


Chapter Forty-Two Playlist: Say by John Mayer Eddie's POV "I'm not asking for your permission, Jay. I can't be apart from you and not know where you are or if you're okay. It nearly killed me last time." If he was running, then I would go with him. Just the thought of losing him threatens my mental stability. I need him. He closed his eyes for a moment then he jumped off the counter and grabbed my hand, "C'mon, Eddie…let's go out on the patio so I can smoke." I followed along and we sat down across from each other in a couple of patio chairs. He lit up a cigarette and I felt the need to put my foot down, since he hadn't said anything. "Look, Jay…I'm being serious. If you run then I'm going with you." His head fell down for a moment as he took in a deep breath. I studied the way the sun hit honey highlights in his hair and glistened off his tan, toned back. Then he lifted his head and gave me a dimpled grin, "You know, it's really fuckin' adorable when you get all assertive and shit…" I blushed but couldn't help but grin back just a little, "You're an asshole." He leaned back on the chair and stretched his long legs out, then he looked at me through red-rimmed navy eyes, "I know I'm an asshole…but will you come lay with me anyway?" As if he had to ask… I nodded and walked over to him. He scooted over a little so that half of my body was draped on top of him while the other half was on the chair. My head was laying on his shoulder as my arm laid across his chest and I twirled his curls around my fingers. He was lying on his back as his fingers brushed through my hair. He sighed, "You know me, Edward. I'm not runnin' anywhere. I'm gonna have to go back to Texas. As much as I fuckin hate it…he's my legal guardian and I have to do what he says. If I don't, then I might just fuck things up worse than they already are." I closed my eyes and focused on the way his body felt beneath mine. The way we fit so perfectly…his hair tickling my ears as I nuzzled into him…the roughed,


raised scars that flittered across the softest skin…honey curls falling through my fingers… I needed to remember everything about him before we're separated again. "So, you're going back to Texas?" My heart was already aching. "Yeah…and we need to have a real serious talk, Edward." Now my heart stopped as I snapped my head up and looked into his eyes, "You're not going to break up with me, are you?" His eyes went wide and his hand came to my cheek, "Fuck no! Jesus, Edward…I can't believe you'd even think somethin' like that." I let out a sigh of relief and laid my head back down, "What did you want to talk about then?" His hand slid down to my chin and lifted it up as he looked down into my eyes. His eyes were clouded with emotion…a hurricane of indigo and sapphire. "We need to talk about how we're gonna deal with being apart. I mean, let's face it, Edward…we both fell apart last time. We can't do that again. I can't go back and be sane if I'm worried about how you're dealing with it. I need you to swear to take care of yourself…take your medicine…talk honestly with the Doc…tell your mom and dad about anything weird that happens right away. If you can do that for me, then I swear to you that I'll stay sober…and I won't lose my temper…well, I won't fight with no one if at all possible…I gotta defend myself obviously but I won't start no shit with anyone and I'll be the bigger man and try to walk away first." I studied his ethereal face…and could easily recall hundreds of times when my lips had been pressed to every inch of it. I let out a breath, "I swear, Jay. But I need more from you." He furrowed his brows and whispered, "Whatever you need…" I sighed, "I need you to remember who you really are at all times and never forget it…you are the kid who stands up for the little guys against the bullies…you are the creative boy who paints his own Sistine Chapel…you're the one who worked from sunrise to sundown for an old man and woman who adored you just because you thought it was the right thing to do…you're the smart guy that scored in the top percent of our class last year…you're my angel…my Superman…my heart…my soul…my past, my present, and my future…swear to me that you won't forget, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how much they try to drag you down…swear."


His eyes were glistening as they closed and his lips pressed against mine. His rough fingertips slid across my cheek and I hummed in contentment. His strong sure lips moved against mine, soft but needy as he whispered a breathless, "I swear." When he pulled away, his eyes opened and he whispered, "I need more too." "Anything, Jay." He held my face and brushed his thumb across my cheek, "I need you to swear that you won't stay in the house all the time…swear that you'll hang out with your friends and do things and go places…have fun…swear to remember who you really are…you're the brilliant boy who learned how to play the piano all on his own…you're the creative boy that brought the outside world in as you with your paper flowers and stars…you're the talented guy who wrote me a song and you're the guy who had balls big enough to sing it in front of a bunch of rednecks…you're the tough guy that grabs a pool stick and stands by my side as I start shit with a couple of grown ups…you're the crazy boy who tells me to hold your stuffed bear while you argue with demons and scare the shit outta a whole group of assholes…you're fuckin' amazing, Edward…and I don't think you'll ever realize just how much in awe of you I am…swear to me that you'll remember that when things get tough…when you wake up from a nightmare…when you panic and you're struggling to breathe…close your eyes and remember…swear." I was struggling to breathe now but not because of a panic attack. I nodded and whispered a breathless, "I swear." Now I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. We just lay there and kiss all afternoon until we eventually fall asleep again, both of us exhausted from the heavy emotions and declarations of the day. I wake to my phone ringing. Jay is still sleeping so I speak quietly and tell Emmett everything that happened today and that if they want to spend a little time with Jay before we have to go back, then they need to come quickly. He agrees, saying that they'll leave tomorrow and be here in a few days. I pull myself up, practically peeling myself from his body as we clung together sweaty and exhausted and desperate. He stirs and pulls me back down, whispering, "Just five more minutes, baby…please…" I close my eyes and lay my head over his heart…committing every beat of my favorite lullaby to memory for when I need it. A few minutes later, we drag ourselves up and into the shower where we make love against the wall.


Reluctantly, we dress and head downstairs to eat. Just like second nature, he hops up on the counter and talks to me while I cook. He helps every so often by chopping something up or stirring something. We take our plates outside and sit at the patio table just as twilight sets in. As we're eating, Jay clears his throat and I look up at him. He sighs, "Hey Edward? I was thinking about somethin' else too. I think we need to get your parents involved." I set down my burger and nodded, suddenly not that hungry anymore, "Yeah, we do." He takes a breath, "If we would've gotten them involved with the whole 'James' situation sooner, we may not be in this mess." I rest my elbows on the table and run my fingers through my hair, "I know that you and me together…we can face anything, Jay. But imagine how much stronger we'll be with our family and friends helping us too. And the fact still remains, that we're not quite grown yet. I can honestly say that after these last few months…I'm exhausted and don't feel like dealing with all this grown up stuff for awhile." He sighed, "Yeah, me neither but we have to, babe. Can I have your phone?" I nodded and handed it to him. He pressed dad's number on speed dial and put it on speaker phone. "Hello, son." Hearing his voice actually made me feel a little better so I smiled slightly, "Hey dad." Then Jasper cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Um…hey dad." I could hear the smile in my dad's voice, "Hey, son." Jasper closed his eyes, "We need to talk to you…we need help with something…" He proceeded to tell my dad everything that had happened about his dad and about that ugly girl trying to out him. My dad listened intently and stopped every so often to ask a question. Once he was finished, my dad spoke, "I'm so proud of you boys seeing that this might just be something too big for you to handle on your own. Thank you for letting me help. Now, the first we thing need to do is look into emancipation in the state of Texas. I think given your situation and background, that you'd have


a good shot at it but I'm no lawyer. I'll make some calls. Second, I need your father's phone number." Jasper's eyes went wide, "Carlisle, I don't know think…" "Son, I know you're worried. Please trust me. Let me handle this for awhile and you boys just take a step back and breathe. This is part of my job, son, so just stop worrying and let me do it." Jasper smiled a little, "Okay, um here's my Aunt Barb's number…" He rattled off the number and my dad took it down. Then I could hear the sound of shuffling in the background, "Okay so you've got until the first. That means you two need to be back here by July 20th. We need to make sure we have plenty of time to go over everything and for the drive down to Texas…" "Wait a second, Carlisle…I don't know if you guys comin' to Texas is a good idea. I mean, my daddy's gonna be fu…er, freakin' livid." My dad sighed, "Jasper? Do you really think I'm going to just let you go somewhere that I don't feel you're safe? We'll figure something out so that if you do go back, you won't be alone. Just hang in there for awhile and let me look into a few things, okay?" Jasper let out a breath, "Okay." We talked to dad for a little while longer, letting him know that Em and the gang was coming down and we would head out in a couple weeks to make sure we got home in time. Once we hung up, I laid my head down on my arms. I felt completely drained. "Hey Eddie?" I raised my eyes and looked into his baby blues, "Hmm?" He smiled his beautiful dimpled grin, "Enough of this grown up shit for awhile…" Then he jumped up and grabbed me around the waist. Before I knew it, he had thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and was running down to the beach. I was laughing hysterically, "Put me down, Jay!" As he ran out into the water, he smiled, "As you wish, darlin'."


Then he threw me into the shallow water while he laughed his ass off. I jumped back up, soaking wet from head to toe. We were both fully dressed and I couldn't help it as I laughed, "Oh you're going to get it, Whitlock!" He winked and took off running, "Come and give it to me, Cullen!" I took off after him and since I was faster than he was, I was soon dragging him into the water with me…although he wasn't putting up much of a fight. We played around for a few hours while people walked by, looking at us as if we'd lost our minds…if only they knew. Eventually, we collapsed in the sand, still laughing as we lay next to each other. He turned on his side and propped himself up on one elbow. "Hey Edward?" I turned and mimicked him, "Yeah, Jay?" He looked sinfully beautiful. His wet jeans and white t-shirt clung to his body…his curls darkened by the dampness and dripping onto his cheeks…the moonlight above providing just enough light to see the midnight of his eyes looking into mine under long onyx lashes… Breathtaking… His free hand reached out and rested on my hip before clenching my wet shirt and pulling me closer. He whispered, "C'mere, pretty boy. I'm ready to do grown up stuff now." I scooted closer until our bodies were flush…but even that wasn't close enough. I slipped my leg in-between his and my hands up the back of his shirt while I pressed my lips to his. I grasped at his back, willing to get him even closer to me. He moaned softly into my mouth as our bodies moved together very leisurely, taking the time to just relish in the moment. It was a very good thing that the beach was pretty deserted by this point because making out with a wet Jasper on the beach in the moonlight…yeah, I wasn't letting that opportunity slip by…this would just be one of a million little memories that would help me through when he was gone. The next few days flew by as Jay and I just hung out. Sometimes we'd go to the beach or play video games…he taught me a couple of trick shots in pool and even taught me how to stack a deck of cards and cheat in poker…it was a lot of fun. We had sex on every available surface in the house and that too, was a lot of fun.


I hadn't been taking a whole lot of pictures on our drive but I was making up for it now. I got Jay to agree to do a photo shoot for me...a late birthday present. I took hundreds of pictures…in various states of dress. He tried to act like he hated posing for me, but he was totally loving it. I could tell by the way he would smirk or do something really sexy like running that damn tongue stud over his bottom lip…just to watch me squirm… Asshole…sexy, mind-numbingly beautiful asshole… And I even agreed to let him take a few of me. He also 'accidentally' left my camera on 'record' mode while we made love and then talked me into watching it with him…and so we made love again. It had really been a fantastic summer, despite everything. So, as I lay on top of him, half dazed from post coital bliss from riding him on the couch right after we woke up this morning…I couldn't keep my eyes open and neither could he. "Oh fuck, my eyes! My eyes are fucking burning!" Hmm…that sounds kind of like a big old grizzly bear… "Eww…I'm not sitting on that couch." Just for that, we're fucking on your couch, Rosalie, the first chance we get… "Where the hell is my damn camera?" Brady's always losing stuff… I felt Jay squirm underneath me and I groaned at the loud voices. I lifted my sleepy eyes and it took about a good five seconds before I realized that all of our friends were standing there as we lie on the couch…completely nude and I was on top…they were all staring at my naked ass. I gasped and buried my head into Jasper's neck. I felt my whole body begin to burn in embarrassment. "Oh my god, his ass is even blushing! That is just adorable!" I hate you Alice… Just then I felt something being draped over me and I looked up into Jay's eyes. He smiled as he pulled a blanket over me that had been draped over the top of the couch. "Let me up, baby, so I can get dressed. Just pull the blanket around you."


I nodded and started to get up. Jasper laughed, "Unless you fuckers wanna see if the legend is true…I suggest ya turn around." Then I heard Tommy sigh, "Brady, quit being such a perv and turn around." Brady huffed, "But I just wanted to see if the legend was true! Ugh! Fine!" Then they were both giggling. I stood and pulled the blanket around me tightly…even over my head a little because I didn't really want to look them in the eye just yet. Jay stood in all his naked glory and pulled on a pair of jeans…no boxers… Oh for the love of God…do not even think about getting a boner now… "Alright, I'm decent." Understatement of the fucking year… Everyone turned around and Alice practically jumped into Jasper's arm as she squealed in excitement, "Oh my God, I've missed you so much! I have no one to shop with anymore! You look great though! I can't believe how tan you are and the sunlight has really brought out the highlights in your hair!" Jasper laughed as he hugged her back, "I missed you too…and I could actually use some new clothes so we'll go shopping soon, darlin'." She squealed again and Rosalie laughed, "Quit hogging him, Alice!" Alice smiled and pulled away as Rose came up. She just smiled at Jasper for a moment before speaking, "It's good to see you again. You really do look great." Jasper just smirked, "Yeah, I know." She laughed and so did he. "You look really good too, Rose." She smirked at him now, "Yeah, I know." Then Jasper smiled and opened his arms, "C'mere, Ice Queen…I know I'm hot but I promise not to melt you." She laughed and wrapped her arms around him. They hugged for a minute and I swear I heard her whisper, "If I had a brother, he would be just like you."


And when I thought about it, it was kind of true. They both put on tough exterior's but on the inside they were just plain old softies. Once she pulled away, Em smiled, "Bro, you know I love you, man…but I ain't going nowhere near that hand…I have a very good idea where it's been at." I literally felt like I could spontaneously combust at any moment. Jay just cocked his head and smiled, "Oh yeah? Well, I have a pretty good idea where your hand's been at too, man…" Em laughed and held out his hand, "Dirty fucker." Jay laughed and grabbed his hand, "You're a dirty fucker too, man." They did the one arm man hug thing but did throw in a couple extra pats on the back. Then Brady walked up and smiled, "Nothing was the same without you, Jay. I really missed hanging out with you." Jasper smiled back, "Me too, Brady. Now, c'mere and give me a hug…I know you're dyin' too." Brady briefly looked over at me and I couldn't help but laugh, "Yes, Brady, it's okay." He smiled and threw his arms around Jasper. And I wasn't at all jealous because I actually trusted both of them completely. I knew that neither one of them would ever do anything to hurt me. They were both really good friends. And besides, Jasper is in love with me…I'm the only one he wants… That little realization was nice…but then I remembered that I was still standing there completely nude underneath a blanket. I mumbled as my cheeks burned…both sets, according to Alice. "Um…so, yeah, it's great to see you guys again. Um…if you'll…uh…excuse me…I think I'm going to go get cleaned up. Adios!" I turned and held the blanket tight as I walked away. Adios? What the hell? Was that Pedro slipping out? Shit, is Pedro slipping out? I looked down and let out a breath of relief that he was, in fact, still hidden underneath the blanket.


I heard some giggling but chose to ignore it. I hurried upstairs and quickly showered. Then I pulled on some jeans and a tshirt. I decided not to put on my shoes until we figured out what we were doing tonight. I was running the towel through my hair again when I heard Tommy's voice, "Hey Edward? You done, man?" I stepped out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, "Hey Tommy. I'm done. Is everything okay?" He smiled, "Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, I know you were really embarrassed about what happened earlier." I shrugged, "Yeah, I was…but I'm over it…well, until Emmett or Brady bring it up again anyway." He sighed as he ran a hand through his messy dark hair. It was wavy and tangled a bit at the ends where it curled, probably from having the windows down in Emmett's Jeep. He looked good though, a little dark under the eyes but his weight was better. I looked over in the mirror and noticed that I had gained back the weight I had lost when Jay was gone. I looked better now too. I hoped like hell I could keep it together if we were separated again. He smiled a little, "You look really great, Edward." I smiled back, "You too, Tommy." Then I remembered the last couple of times we had talked on the phone and suddenly I felt very bad because I had been so caught up in Jasper that I ignored my friend when he needed me. Tommy and I had spent a lot of nights talking at the hospital. We would lay in our beds facing each other from the opposite sides of the room…no light other than the moonlight that would break through the small barred window…so quiet that we could hear each other's every breath…every sob…every scream. And as selfish as I felt for it, I was relieved to have him with me. I was relieved that I wasn't alone. I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Um, hey Tommy?" He furrowed his brows at my sudden change in mood, "What's up, Edward?" He came over and sat down at the other end of the bed. I looked up into his turquoise blue eyes, they never changed…they were always an electric sort of blue.


"Um, I need to apologize for the way I've treated you the last few times we spoke…" He smiled softly and shrugged, "Don't worry about it, Edward…I mean, yeah I was a little pissed at first but I've had some to think about it and I understand. I know how much you missed him…I was there, remember? I remember how bad you hurt…it's just…can I say something, without you getting pissed at me?" I nodded and he flopped down backwards on the bed and closed his eyes. "I've been really worried about you, Edward. I know that things are great now that you're back with him but…what happens when he's gone again?" I started to say that we had worked out a plan of communication so he shouldn't worry but he interrupted me, "Wait, Edward…just let me finish, okay? Please?" I nodded again and he turned to his side and rested his head on his arm, "When I first came to Forks, I felt like my life was over…like I just wanted to sleep and never wake up…only sleeping didn't help because of the nightmares. I was fucked in both worlds. James didn't have to threaten me…I would've ended up exactly the same way regardless. And then when I came to and I woke up in the hospital…I felt even worse because I couldn't even kill myself right. I was mad at you for saving me…I didn't want to be saved." I gulped and mimicked his position. He took a deep breath and continued, "When you came into that room and told me about your past…I don't know what it was…I really kinda started looking up to you. I mean, I had known you for a couple of months and you were always really smart and funny and nice…but I never realized how incredibly strong you had been too. I guess I figured that if you could come through those things and still be a whole, real person…then maybe I could too." He began running his fingers over the patterns on the bedspread as he continued quietly speaking, "I thought about you every day while I was in the hospital struggling to try and fix myself again…and then one night, they brought you into my room. Your eyes were closed and you were all…broken. No one told me what happened to you and I laid there all night long and just watched as you screamed and cried…not really sleeping but not really awake either. And I watched for three weeks…and in those three weeks, I'm not ashamed to say that having you there, helped me. I wasn't so focused on my nightmares anymore…I just wanted to help you through yours." I didn't know what to say. We had never really talked about the three weeks I was comatose in the hospital. I never even thought about how it affected him. I really wasn't a very good friend…I would have to work on that.


He looked up at me for the first time really, "One night you kicked your blanket off…I came over and threw it back over you but my hand ran across your shoulder as I pulled it up…you reached up and grabbed my hand…pulled it into your neck and just kinda cuddled my arm. I tried to gently pull it away but you just kept whispering 'Please don't go…don't leave…stay,' so I let you cuddle up to it and I fell asleep next to you. The next day, you woke up." I suddenly felt my heart pick up a little as I whispered, "We didn't…um…do anything…" Tommy furrowed his brows, "Of course not, Edward. I would never take advantage of you like that." I let out a breath, "I'm sorry…that was a stupid thing to ask. Why are you telling me this now?" He looked things get me…I can your hand

down at the bedspread again, "I just wanted you to know that if bad again for you…if you feel like you're going to break…come to watch you scream and cry…I can be there for you…I can even hold if you want me to."

I smiled and could feel my cheeks blush a little, though I wasn't quite sure why. Was he hitting on me? No, he's just being a good friend…quit being a jerk…I mean, Jay holds hands with Alice all the time and I've seen him take Brady's a few times…this is no different… I slid my hand out palm up, "You're a really good friend, Tommy. Thanks." He smiled a real smile and took my hand in his, "So are you, Edward." And the minute his hand touched mine…I knew it was different. "Hey Eddie, what's takin' you so…long?" I looked up and there stood Jasper, shirtless and barefooted…and he looked pissed…and hurt. I yanked my hand away from Tommy's and we both scrambled off the bed. I couldn't breathe as his storm blue eyes glared into mine. Tommy spoke, finally breaking his glare, "Jasper, it's not what you think. Edward and I are just friends. We've been through a lot together…" Jasper's fists clenched and I shuddered because I knew he'd never hit me but I wasn't so certain about Tommy.


But instead, he just clenched them a few times and took a couple deep breaths before saying, "We've been through a lot together too…can I ask you something, Tommy?" Tommy nodded, "Sure, man." Jasper was surprisingly calm as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the dresser, "Do you wish you and Edward were more than friends?" I didn't understand why he would even ask Tommy that, because he had been nothing but a really good friend to me. Tommy shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down as he mumbled, "He's your boyfriend." Jasper smirked, "That's not what I asked." Wait… I watched as Tommy raised his head up and spoke clearly this time, "Yes, Jasper…I do wish that we were more than friends but I know how he feels about you. Are you feeling insecure about your relationship or something?" Oh shit…how the hell did this turn into a pissing match? Jasper smiled, "Nope. Edward's mine. I know that. I trust him. I just wanted to make sure that you understood it too because even if I'm not around…he's still mine. So, you can just keep on wishin' cuz it ain't ever gonna happen." That was kind of mean and I started to say something to him, "Jasper…" But Tommy cut me off, "Edward is a person, Jasper. No one owns him. You're so fucking possessive of him. Do you really think you're going to be the only guy that Edward will ever be with? You're both sixteen, for Christ's sake…" Jay turned toward him and glared as he sneered, "Do you really think he would ever leave me for you? Keep fuckin' dreamin', man…" Tommy looked over at me and sighed, "No, I know he would never leave you for anybody…because he can't even see anyone but you. He's so wrapped up in you that he doesn't even notice the rest of the world around him when you're near. I bet he's never even seriously looked at another guy. It's not healthy. He's too young to be this tied to you. I saw what it did to him when you left…and I've been through a lot of fucked up shit, Jasper, but watching him go through that was the scariest thing I've ever seen. I care about him…I'm his friend…I just don't ever want to see him suffering that much again."


That's not true…I notice other guys…I mean, we've talked about actors and musicians and stuff…and I'm possessive of him too…there's nothing wrong with that… Jasper looked kind of like he had the wind knocked out of him and I was suddenly upset with Tommy, "You just don't understand it, Tommy. I know that to an outsider it looks crazy…maybe it is…but I need him…" Tommy sighed as he finally broke his eyes from mine and looked down at the floor, "I know you do, Edward…but as your friend, I just wish you were with him because you loved him and not because you couldn't survive without him. There may come a time when you don't have him, for whatever reason…and I just want to make sure that you're going to be okay if that happens. And I hope that we can still be friends because I like talking to you…and you can't really hold it against me that I think you're fucking unbelievably hot…I mean, look at you…but I don't want you to be mine…I want you to be yours and just hope that you like talking to me too." My chest felt like it was constricting and I didn't understand why. I felt my cheeks heat up again and I squeezed my eyes shut. A moment later, I felt those familiar loving fingertips run across my cheek and the deep southern drawl, "Breathe, baby…" I gasped for a breath and looked up into his midnight eyes. I loved Jasper. I needed him. Nothing would change that. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him as he whispered, "Fuck it, Edward…if we're crazy then we're just fuckin' crazy cuz I can't even breathe without you…" I nodded and whispered back, "I'm yours, Jay." He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss me gently. His smooth honey lips reassured me that he was mine as well. When he pulled away, I noticed that Tommy was gone. I let out a breath and shook my head, "I'm sorry, Jay…we were just talking and I thought that it wouldn't be any different than when you hold Alice's hand…but it was different. I shouldn't have done it but we really didn't do anything but talk. He's just my friend…you know how I feel about you." Jasper's smile fell as he looked down at the ground, all arrogance completely evaporated, "I know how you feel about me, Edward…but if we're separated is it gonna be enough? Two years is a long time and before I came along, you wouldn't let anyone touch you. I remember how you used to flinch anytime one of the guys would touch your arm…and now, you don't flinch. All of your friends can touch you and hug you and I think it's really great, Edward. You


need that…to be touched. It helps keep you connected to the real world. And if you say that there's nothing between you and Tommy then I believe you." I whispered in his ear, "I love you, Jay. Thank you…I thought this was going to end in an ugly fight." He pulled back and looked into my eyes as he smiled, "I'm gonna have to get used to the fact that other people are gonna want you, Edward. You're too fuckin' perfect for you to go unnoticed. I just gotta have faith that what we have is real and that no one can fuckin' touch us. I just need to know that no one else's touch makes you feel the way mine does…" I moaned softly as his fingers trailed down my ass until he had a firm grip and was pulling me closer to him. His other hand slid underneath my thigh and gently lifted my leg up around him as he laid me back on the dresser top. My body erupted into a million tiny little pleasure sensors as the feel of his denim covered cock slid against mine and the hard cold dresser against my back while Jasper's strong, hot body pressed me into it…his warm breath on my neck and his golden curls tickling my cheeks as he hovered above me… I managed a breathless, "No one could ever make me feel the way you do, Jay." He raised up and smiled, "And no one will ever get to touch all those secret places that make you squirm and beg, right?" I smiled back, "Right. Only you, Jay. I'm yours." His baby blue eyes gleamed as he smiled that beautiful dimpled grin, "I'm yours too, Eddie. No matter where I'm at…I'm yours." Then he laughed, "As much as I'd really love to rip these fuckin jeans off ya right now, we do have a whole house full of fuckers who drove a long damn way to see us. I'll get'cha later, baby." I huffed a little but knew he was right. He raised up and then I hopped off the dresser. He took my hand in his and we started to walk downstairs. He asked me, "Did you even know that Tommy liked you?" I shook my head, "No, not really." He sighed, "I figured you didn't…after I calmed down, anyway. Just be careful, Edward. Don't lead him on. I remember what it's like to want you and not be able to have you…I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Now, that I have you…losing you is the scariest fuckin' thing I can even think of…I love you, Edward…just never forget that, okay?" I pushed him against the wall and kissed him soundly, hoping to push any insecurities away.


By the time we got outside to the back patio, things were just like I remembered. Emmett was drinking a beer and cooking some hamburgers on the grill. Rosalie, Alice, and Brady were in the pool. Tommy was messing around with the sound system, trying to find some music. Emmett smiled over at us, "Everything cool?" Jasper nodded as he grabbed a beer, "Yeah, man. No worries." Emmett let out a breath and went back to cooking and Jay walked over and started helping him. And it was just like old times. We all laughed and messed around and just hung out. As great as it had been with just me and Jay, I was really happy to have all of our friends with us too. It was beginning to reach dusk when we moved the party to the beach. Em and Jay got a fire started while Tommy and Brady were goofing off in the water. I was sipping one of Alice's famous Pina Colada's while she braided Rosalie's hair. "So, Alice, why couldn't Jane come?" She sighed and looked down, "We actually broke up about two weeks ago." "I'm sorry…that sucks." She just smiled softly, "It's okay, we're still friends. We just didn't have any time to really spend together. She was always so busy with Gracie and school and working…I was happy with what she gave me but she didn't feel like it was fair so we decided to just chill for awhile and be friends. I love her to pieces…I'm sure I always will but I think she was right. I need affection and attention…lots of it!" She giggled and Rosalie laughed. Brady came up running and flopped down on the sand. He was dripping wet and laughing, "Okay, enough swimming for tonight. I'm ready to party. I need a man." Tommy laughed now as he sat down beside him, "You're always looking for a man. You don't have to be in such a rush, Brady." Brady smirked, "I've got needs, Tommy." Tommy rolled his eyes and popped the top off his beer. He took a long drink and then lit up a cigarette. I took another drink of my third Pina Colada and couldn't help but notice the way Tommy looked in front of the fire and moonlight. The black waves crashing behind him that only seemed to make his


onyx hair shimmer more against the soft white rays of light. The fire illuminated his face as he smiled over at Brady and just shook his head. His lips were different from Jay's. His were a little smaller but plumper…more of a rose color than the pale pink I was used to seeing. His electric blue eyes were a shocking contrast against the red and orange flames behind him. He was really quite stunning when I took a moment to look. Then I immediately felt my chest constrict at the thought that I was sitting here checking out Tommy. This really was the first time I had ever noticed another guy besides Jasper. It felt foreign…different…but not entirely horrible. That made me feel even worse. What the hell was wrong with me? I had the most incredible boyfriend in the whole world and I'm checking out my friend…I'm a horrible person. Am I a slut? Does Jasper ever check out other guys? Tommy and Brady went inside to change into some dry clothes. I continued drinking as I watched Jay and Emmett goofing off and hanging out. It didn't take long until the beach was filled with people. Apparently, Emmett knew a lot of the locals as well as some returning vacationers. It had blown up into a full blown beach party. Alice was dancing with some brunette girl who was just a few inches taller than her. Rose and Em were dancing now too as him and Jay finished up their impromptu game of football. The music was blaring and the alcohol was flowing freely. Jasper walked up and sank down behind me, "Will you hand me a beer, babe?" I nodded and reached over and grabbed one for him. As I gave it to him, he pulled me back against his chest and stretched his long legs out on either side of me. He had been spending a lot of time with Emmett today. I had really missed the feel of his body against mine. I snuggled back into his chest and he laughed, "You been havin' fun, darlin?" I nodded, "Yeah…missed you though." I could hear the smile in his voice, "I missed you too, baby boy." We sat for awhile and just talked and drank and listened to the music. I knew I was perhaps a little drunk when I couldn't stop my head and shoulders from swaying to the beat. Jay laughed behind me and I could feel the rumble of his chest against my back. I turned my head to look into his eyes and he smiled, "Wanna dance, babe?" I smiled back, "Yeah."


He finished his beer in one drink and tossed it into the trash can as he grabbed my hands and pulled me up. I swear I could feel the music vibrating through my body and that thought made me giggle a little. He was still shirtless and barefooted and I looked up at him as our bodies moved together…he looked absolutely sinful in the soft glow of the fire. He was too beautiful to look at so I closed my eyes and just felt…I felt his hardness against my ass…his strong chest against my back…his curls against my cheeks as his lips and teeth attached to my neck… I was getting worked up fast…I could feel the heat coursing through my body… I heard the sound of laughter and opened my eyes to see Brady and Tommy sitting by the fire. There was a guy standing there talking to them and I watched as he held his hand out to Tommy. He took it and soon they were dancing not too far from us. The guy was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks and I noticed that he kept trying to pull Tommy closer but he was resisting. Eventually, Tommy shoved the guy away and took off walking down the beach. And I really wanted to go and talk to him…even with the distraction of Jasper's body moving behind me. I turned and looked up at his beautiful face. His eyes opened and he looked confused, "What's wrong, baby?" I took a breath, "I…um…uh…never mind." I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck but he quickly pulled away and lifted my chin, "What's goin' on, Edward?" I took another breath and tried again, "I just saw Tommy dancing with this guy and it looked like the guy was getting kind of, um…grabby. Anyway, Tommy took off down the beach and I wanted to just…um…go check and make sure he's okay." I saw him take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Finally he nodded, "Yeah, Edward…you should go check on him…he's your friend. Just…don't go far, okay? Please?" I smiled, "I won't, Jay. Thanks." He smiled back, "It's no big deal, Eddie." I started to walk away when I saw Brady still sitting there, by himself now. I sighed and turned back to Jasper, "Hey Jay? Why don't you ask Brady to dance while I'm gone?"


He furrowed his brows, "Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't wanna make you jealous." I shrugged, "I'll be okay. I trust you both. Just don't enjoy it too much." He smiled, "Okay. Thanks, Edward." I smiled back, "It's no big deal, Jay." I turned and started walking after Tommy but looked back to see the look of pure astonishment of Brady's face as Jasper pulled him up. Any jealousy that I might feel, was completely overwhelmed by that look. I trudged down the beach for a couple minutes until I finally saw him, sitting in the sand looking out over the water. He looked over and tilted his head with a confused look, "What are you doing here?" I shrugged as I plopped down beside him, "I just wanted to check on you…make sure you were alright." He smiled softly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I can't stand for guys to just…feel like they can touch me however they want. Can I ask you something?" I pulled my knees up to my chin and took a breath as I looked out over the water, "Yeah." He took a big breath and whispered, "I know that you and Jasper have…ya know…done it…and I was wondering…how do you handle it? I mean…" He looked over at me and I could feel my cheeks burning. "You know that Brady and I have fooled around a little and for the most part, I'm okay with him but…I have to concentrate on not freaking out. How do you do it?" I gulped and shook my head, "I don't know, Tommy. I guess…it's kind of like what you said earlier…when I'm with Jay, I can't focus on anything but him…the way he feels, the way he smells…the way he tastes…" Then I really turned red and Tommy chuckled, "It's okay, Edward. I want you to be able to talk to me." I smiled sheepishly and looked over at him, "Okay. So, well…um…what kind of stuff have you and Brady done?" He turned red now as he looked away, humping…some kissing…that's about it."

"Uh…mostly

just,

um…dry


I nodded, "Okay, well…um…do you find him attractive?" He shrugged, "I mean, Brady's really cute and everything…but he's not really my type. So…I guess I'm not really that physically attracted to him." I smiled, "That's probably your whole problem, Tommy. Just looking at Jasper makes me har…" I stopped and I'm sure my face expressed the complete shock I was feeling as I said it. Tommy started laughing and shook his head, "A little too much information, Edward." I could feel my whole face burn as I mumbled, "Sorry." A moment later he sighed, "It's okay, Edward. Can I ask you one more thing?" I continued looking anywhere but at him but I nodded. "Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to kiss someone else?" I raised my head and furrowed my brows, "No, never. I love him." He smiled softly, "I know you do, Edward, but do you honestly want to go through the rest of your life without having ever kissed anyone but Jasper?" "I have kissed other people…Tanya…Jessica…" He chuckled again, "I mean someone who you might actually be somewhat attracted to, Edward. I mean, another guy." I shook my head, "I could never do that. He's the only person I could ever kiss." He sighed, "No, Edward…he's the only person who you would kiss…not could kiss. You could kiss anyone you wanted to actually. You'll never know what possibilities you may be missing because you're too afraid to live without him…not because you can't live without him. The world wouldn't stop if you two weren't together." I scoffed, "I am not afraid! Jasper makes me strong…" He shook his head, "No, Edward! Jasper may inspire your strength but, believe me…it's all you. You say you're not afraid, then prove it. Kiss me and see if the world ends." I huffed as I started to stand up, "You're not going to trick me into kissing you."


He jumped up and grabbed my hands, turning my body to his, "Stop, Edward…I'm not trying to trick you. I'm just trying to prove a point." His hands were wrapped around my forearms and the texture of his skin felt odd. It wasn't quite as rough as Jay's but was just as warm. I looked up into his eyes as the wind blew wavy strands of onyx hair in front of electric blue eyes that were lidded and staring into mine. I needed to move…get away fast because when his pink tongue slid out over his plump bottom lip…my breathing hitched and I briefly wondered what it might taste like…what it might feel like… This is very, very dangerous for me…I'm just drunk and God knows that drinking makes me horny. That's all this is…it isn't him…I could never want anyone but Jay…he was wrong, if I kissed him, the whole world would end. The next thing I knew, plump lips were pressed softly against mine. My whole body was on fire and I felt tingly and weird and kind of like I wanted to throw up. I pulled away with a gasp and took a step back. He opened his eyes and smiled, "See, Edward…the world's still standing…" I looked around, half dazed and weary to see the same dark water crashing against the shoreline…the same white moon cascading down across the wet sand…the music and laughter from the party not too far down the beach…the world seemed completely unaware that I had just been kissed by another man. He smiled, "Don't worry, Edward. I won't tell anyone. I know it didn't mean anything and I don't want any more problems with Jasper. I just thought you should know that no matter what…the world keeps going. We better get back before he starts to worry about you." I just nodded and started walking back, still completely dumfounded because he was right…the world hadn't ended…but it had been exponentially changed.


Chapter Forty-Three Playlist: I Need You by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Keep Me by The Black Keys, Everything Changes by Staind, Flames by The Black Keys (just the music, not the words) Jay's POV I was so fuckin' grateful to have my friends back. Before Forks, I never really had any real friends so when I lost Edward, I lost every friend I had too. I wouldn't let that shit happen again. Emmett was my best friend, after Edward. Truth be known, I kinda looked up to him. He was one of the best guys I had ever known. Rose was definitely how I picture my sister bein'. Her skin may be way prettier than mine, but it was just as thick. I didn't worry too much about Rose, especially with Emmett looking after her. Now Alice sometimes worried me. All the outsiders could see was a bouncy, peppy, happy girl…but I saw a little deeper. I've seen Alice stare blankly at the same page in her book for over an hour…I've seen her gasp for air because she couldn't stop talking…I was pretty sure that she was manic. Brady…what could I say about Brady? That kid was gonna be just fine. He was funny as hell and sweet and even though he was only 5'7...he was a tough little shit. I don't like Tommy. And I'm probably gonna end up punching him in the face if he don't quit fuckin' with Edward. He can try and pull this 'I'm just tryin' to be your friend' shit but I knew better. He was manipulating Edward to try and think the way he did. That worried me cuz Eddie hadn't had much practice at dealing with that kind of shit before. He still had a hard time understanding the people around him sometimes. Tommy knew that shit and was taking advantage of it. But, then again, maybe he had a small point? I didn't want Edward to be with me cuz he was afraid to be with anyone else…I wanted him to be with me cuz he knew that no one else could compare…that no one could love him as good as I did…cuz that's how I felt about him. Em grabbed the football and a couple beers, "C'mon, dude…let's go throw the old pigskin around…it's been awhile since we talked." I took a beer and started walking next to him as we made our way down the beach I bit.


"So, Em, how's shit been at home, man?" He shrugged, "Same old shit, different day. Me and Rosie have been trying to figure out what we're gonna do after school. We only have one year left, man." I took a long pull from my beer, "Yeah, it sucks that I'm gonna miss it." He smiled, "I think things are gonna work out, Jay. Carlisle's been working his ass off…Peter's helping him now…and Esme…dude, you've got all these people gunning for you. Me, Rose, and Alice are going to Texas too. We're gonna take my Jeep and follow you guys. Sometimes it's hard to hear just one person…but it's pretty fuckin' hard to ignore eight. And it doesn't matter anyway, man…we're, like…bros and shit." I laughed, obviously feelin' the affects of the liquor now, "Holy shit, all of ya'll are goin' down there? I can't wait to see the look on my daddy's face…" Em stopped walking and looked out over the water, "Are you scared, Jay?" Em knew me pretty well… I sighed, "Yeah, man…shitless." He nodded, "What happened with Tommy earlier?" I was grateful that he changed the subject cuz I kinda did wanna talk to him about this, "I walked in and found him and Edward lying on the bed holding hands. Edward told me it was nothin' but he could tell that it was different when he held Tommy's hand…I don't yet if different is good or bad. Can I ask you somethin?" He nodded, "Yeah, dude." "Do you think that me and Edward will make it if I go to Texas?" He smiled, "I'd bet my fucking life on it, man. Look, Jay, I know how Tommy feels about the relationship you have with Edward. I hear it all the time too…me and Rose are too young…too serious…it's not healthy…do what I just do and tell him to mind his own fucking business. He's so god damn cynical anymore, it drives me crazy…I mean, yeah, Rosie and me, we're possessive and clingy and shit…but fuck it, we're still fucking teenagers and we need each other right now. As we get older, we'll learn how to stand on our own a little more. Tommy's just jealous because he wants what you have. Don't over think it too much, man." That's what I needed to hear…me and Edward would be alright. I smiled, "Thanks, man."


He grinned, "Ya know, dude…I am a fucking wealth of knowledge…you'd know that shit if you'd pick up the fucking phone once in a while and called me." I sighed, "I know, Em…I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was just…so fuckin' lost, man." He looked over and smiled softly, "I know, Jay…but what have you learned?" I rolled my eyes and laughed, "I've learned that you're a wealth of fucking knowledge…and we're, like, bros and shit…" He laughed and jumped up, "Good…now go long, fucker!" I took off runnin' and turned just in time to catch the ball. This is what I needed right now…a couple of hours to just not think about this. I spent most of the day just fucking around with Em…trying to give Edward a little space to work this shit out on his own. But he had been acting off all day. So, when he said he wanted to go talk to Tommy, I told him he should…cuz this will never work if I don't trust him. And if he needs help figuring shit out, then I would just be his best friend and help him. But as I watched him take off after another fuckin' man…I'm not ashamed to admit that my ego was a little bruised. Brady knew it as soon as my smile fell. He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to some logs that people were sittin' on. He sat next to me and sighed, "What's wrong, Jay?" I took a breath and looked out over the water, "I think Edward doesn't understand how he feels about Tommy. I made Tommy admit that he liked him today." Brady nodded, "Yeah, I know. I've told him a hundred times to leave it alone. He just doesn't get you two. He doesn't see it for what it really is. It's love, plain and simple. I saw it the first time Edward kissed you in front of me." I weakly smiled over at Brady, "Yeah…but Tommy's good lookin' and they're close…" Brady furrowed his brows, "Jasper? What are you saying?" I looked down, "Edward went to go find him. I can fuckin' guarantee you that Tommy's gonna try and kiss him." Brady sighed, "How do you know that?"


I shrugged, "Cuz I would try and kiss him if he wasn't mine…did I ever tell you about the first time we kissed?" He shook his head and I took a breath, "I wanted to kiss him…I don't think I even realized it yet. We were only thirteen and I told him that he could practice on me if he wanted to. It was his first kiss. I told him that I wouldn't tell anybody and that I would help him if he needed it. Maybe I manipulated him into kissin' me…I don't know…" Brady huffed, "That's total BS, Jasper! You gave him a choice…he could of easily said no and laughed it off…you gave him a choice and he chose to kiss you. Now, why the hell are you sitting here with me when someone is after your man? Get your ass up and go fight for him!" I took a long pull from my beer, "I've been fightin' my whole fuckin' life, Brady…I still am. The one fuckin' thing in this whole world that I shouldn't have to fight for is Edward. I need to trust him. I need to know that if somethin' happened that he wouldn't lie to me. I need him to know that he can talk to me about anything. I know him. He's probably really confused right now cuz he's never been attracted to anyone before but me…he probably doesn't know how to feel about it and I pray like hell that he comes walkin' up here in a few minutes and tells me exactly what he's feelin' so I can help him through it. I've always helped him sort this shit out, ya know. Anytime something happened that was new to him…we'd always talk about it…trust me, I'll know if something happened the moment I look into his eyes." We sat there for a little while as my stomach churned and I tried desperately to keep focused cuz I knew the second I lost focus, I would be findin' Tommy and stompin' a mud hole in his ass. I wanted Edward to come to me…to be honest with me. I fuckin' needed it, especially with the looming hourglass above my head before I might be gone again. Emmett walked up with my guitar, grinning like a fool, "Dude? You gotta play, man. The lead singer just got into a fight with some asshole and they need a replacement. I can get some music going from the house but it won't be nearly as loud." Music always calms me down… I nodded and grabbed the guitar as I stood. Em led me and Brady over to the guys and introduced me. They were just some local college band so they didn't have a stage or anything, they just had their shit set up in the sand. We talked for a minute about songs they knew and I was happy that they knew a lot of the same ones I did. So, I closed my eyes and began playin' "I Need You" by Lynyrd Skynyrd…hopin' like hell that Edward heard this shit and that it made Tommy's skin fuckin' crawl.


As I sang the chorus, I opened up my eyes to see Edward standing there staring at me with red rimmed eyes and a look of pain across his beautiful face. And I knew… Something happened… I felt my chest constrict as I squeezed my eyes shut for just a second to get my bearings. My first instinct was to beat the fuckin' brakes off of Tommy for touchin' my boy…but I had to try and be the better man cuz if I moved back to Texas, Edward needed to know that I could control myself. If he even wants to be with me anymore. Is he gonna break up with me? Does he want Tommy? This can't be fuckin' happening… I opened my eyes again and they burned with tears I was tryin' real hard not to shed. I was also tryin' real fuckin' hard to play through the pain…cuz seriously…this shit fuckin' hurt. As soon as the song was finished, I looked over at Em, "Hey, I need a minute." He nodded, "Sure, Jay." I took a breath and started walking the opposite direction cuz I wasn't strong enough to handle this shit right now. Then I heard his voice singing softly over the mic and turned to see him holding my guitar and looking straight into my eyes, "If you just walked away, what could I really say? Would it matter anyway? Would it change how you feel?" Nothing will change how I feel about you… "I am the mess you chose, the closet you cannot close. The devil in you I suppose, 'cause the wounds never heal…" I know you're all fucked up inside, Edward…I'm fucked up too… "But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel." I remembered back to the night when he snuck over to my house on Christmas… "Well, it's just…like…I don't know how to…feel things without you around...So on my own…everything just gets jumbled and I don't know how to handle it…" "Sometimes the things I say, in moments of disarray, succumbing to the games we play, to make sure that it's real…" It's real…


"But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel." I'll help you understand what you're feelin'… "When it's just me and you…who knows what we could do…if we can just make it through…the toughest part of the day…" We can make it through anything. "But everything changes, if I could, turn back the years, if you could, learn to forgive me then I could learn to feel. Then we could stay here together and we could conquer the world, if we could say that forever is more than just a word…" It's always been you and me against the whole fuckin' world, Eddie…forever. "If you just walked away…what could I really say? And would it matter anyway? It wouldn't change how you feel." Fuck…you know I'm not goin' anywhere, baby… He walked over and stood there while he looked down. I sighed as I reached out with my hand and gently lifted his chin so that I could look in his eyes. They were bright green and wild…his breathing started coming out in short labored breaths…he was gonna have a panic attack if I didn't do something. So, I ran my fingertips down his cheek…across his jaw…and then along his neck as I leaned in and whispered, "Breathe, baby boy." He gasped and sucked in a big breath before he just threw himself into my arms. He was sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. He was most definitely freaking out. He sobbed out, "I'm so sorry, Jay…I'm so sorry…I don't know what happened…it was so confusing…I pulled away…I didn't kiss him back…but I feel so weird…I know you…hate me right now…but please help me…make me feel better…please…I need you…" I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer as I brushed my fingers through his hair, "I could never hate you, Edward." After a couple minutes, he calmed down and had himself under control again. I pulled away and took his hand, "C'mon…let's go talk." He didn't budge as he looked up at me with wide eyes and breathlessly whispered, "Please don't break up with me, Jay…I love you so much…I'm so sorry…" I smiled as best I could, "I'm not breakin' up with you, Edward…but we need to talk about all this, okay?"


He nodded and followed me along until we were down the beach and out of the crowd. I sat down and pulled him with me. He curled up in my lap and took a few deep breaths. I whispered, "Tell me everything, Eddie." He looked up at me and whispered, "I asked him if he was okay and he said he just didn't like for people to feel like they could just touch him however they wanted…then he asked me how I dealt with…um…being with you…like…intimately, without freaking out. And I thought about you…the way you feel and taste…and how just looking at you gets me…um…excited. Then he asked if I ever wondered what it'd be like to kiss someone else. I told him 'no…never'. And then he said that I was afraid to live without you…I can't…I can't stand to feel…weak. He said that I should prove that I wasn't afraid by kissing him…I got up to leave but he stopped me…then he…he kissed me…" My blood was boiling but I tried to stay calm. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it as Edward scooted off my lap and knelt in front of me. He put his hands on my face and tilted my chin up as he whispered, "I swear I didn't kiss him back, Jay…it only lasted a second before I pulled away…but…it made me feel strange…and then all of his babbling about the world not ending if I kissed someone else…I just felt so confused…and then he said that he wouldn't tell anybody…but I could never lie to you. That's it…that's everything." I took a drag from my cigarette and nodded. I had to take a moment to process everything before I spoke. He sat down across from me now in the sand. I reached over and took his hand. "Edward, thank you for tellin' me the truth. I'm gonna help you figure this out but I gotta ask a couple questions first." He nodded and started chewing on his lip. I took a drag from my cigarette and slowly exhaled, "Do you think Tommy's…hot?" He looked down and closed his eyes, "I never really thought about it before today…but…yes." I closed my eyes for a second to recover from that little blow. Then I just took another drag of my square before speaking, "Did you wanna kiss him?" He shook his head, "No…I didn't…but I, um…when he was standing there…so close to me…I wondered…what it might be like…God, I'm just…evil…" I briefly thought about breakin' every bone in that mother fucker's body before turnin' my attention back to the situation at hand.


God, this shit was fuckin' hard sometimes… He was looking down at the sand now and I smiled as best I could as I ducked my head down, "Hey? You're not evil, Edward. What you're feelin' is completely normal." He raised his eyes and furrowed his brows, "It doesn't feel normal…I feel…out of control…I don't like it." I nodded, "Eddie, you've never really been attracted to anyone other than me before…I mean, like, someone you could actually date. Someone who you trusted and someone who knows a lot about you…someone who knows you don't have a lot of experience with this kinda thing…someone who likes you and wants you and fights pretty fuckin' dirty. He took away your control by not givin' you a choice whether you kissed him or not. I never took anything from you without askin'. The first time I kissed you…the first time I touched you…the first time I tasted you…I always gave you a choice…I always will." He sighed, "I don't understand how I can love you so much and look at somebody else like that…is there something wrong with me…does that make me…a bad person…" I smiled, "No, it makes you sixteen, Edward. Look at it for what it is…you've been drinkin' so everything seems bigger right now than it really is…a boy who you think is cute talked to you about sex and then got all up in your personal space…it's normal that you thought about what kissin' him might feel like…" He looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing, "God, I feel stupid…I told him once, that my world began with you…and that my whole world would fall apart if I didn't have you…he doesn't understand…when I said that, I was talking about you as my best friend…the one who always helps me figure stuff out…the one who never judges me…the one who puts my needs in front of his own because I know this must be very difficult for you…" I ran my thumb across the back of his soft hand and smiled, "A real friend doesn't try and tell you how to feel, Edward…a real friend tries to help you figure it out for yourself." He looked out over the water, "I thought he was a real friend but all of those things that we went through together…he wasn't there by choice, he was locked in a room with me. But you, Jay…you could've left whenever you wanted to that very first night we met…you chose to stay with me…" I shrugged, "He probably does care about you but he stepped over some fuckin' boundaries that he shoulda never crossed. We are possessive and dependant on each other…but we're young…and we can figure out how to stand on our own two feet without being ripped apart cuz that shit will come with age…as we mature, so will our relationship. All I know, is I fuckin' need you right now, Edward. And now that the world hasn't ended…how do you feel?"


He lifted my hand and very gently pressed his lips against the pad of my thumb. Then he sighed with a beautiful crooked grin, "The world may not end if we're not together, Jay…but it would really suck." I smiled and took his face in my hands, "Good…remember that shit the next time some mother fucker's all up in your space…if it happens again, what are you gonna do?" He laughed, "Kick him in the nuts…" And I had to ask, "Now that you've been kissed by another man…how do you feel?" He sighed, "Everything feels different now, Jay. Tommy was trying to tell me that I had a choice but I know now that I don't. Jasper, you are the only person who has ever touched me without making me flinch the first time…the very first day we met, your arm was on my shoulder or your hand was touching my back…and it didn't scare me…I craved it…your touch…yours alone…even at thirteen years old. I opened up to you the first night I met you when doctors had been trying to get me to talk for years…that's what Tommy doesn't get. Normal people may have a choice…but we're not normal because I know you feel the same way. Look at us from the very beginning…we never had a choice, Jay. We're drawn to each other like moths to a flame…it's not tingles and confusion…it's frenetic white heat and the gratifying knowledge that we have what everyone else wants." He stood up on his knees and shifted his body so that he was straddling my thigh. I wrapped my arms around his waist while his went around my neck. His soft fingertips played with the curls at the nape of my neck and I ran my fingertips gently along the edge of his jeans at the top of his ass. He looked down at me as his eyes grew darker, "Maybe in Tommy's world, I would feel the need to explore other relationships to know how I truly feel about you…but to Hell Tommy because I don't live in his world. You and me, Jay…we defy the real world. And maybe I'm insane but I don't care…you'll always be my Superman…you'll always be my angel…and I will never want anyone the way that I want you…" He leaned down and brushed my lips with his as he whispered, "Song of Solomon 2:16." I flicked my tongue softly against his bottom lip as I whispered back a breathless, "My beloved is mine and I am his." His cherry lips parted and I could feel every emotion he had pouring from him like a sieve. I drank him in like a man dying of thirst as his love and gratitude and devotion squelched out any flames of doubt.


When he pulled away, flushed and breathless and hard as a rock…he smiled, "You may not be perfect…but you're perfect for me." I smiled, "You may be crazy…but I'm crazy for you." He started laughing now as he rolled his eyes, "That was really cheesy, Jay." I laughed, "Dude? You're gonna have to face the fact that I'm eventually gonna run out of smooth things to say to you. Will you still love me if I'm not cool?" He feigned shock, "Someone said you were cool?" I was grinnin' like a fool, "You're an asshole." I saw that crooked grin and bright green eyes, "Yeah…will you love me anyway?" "Yeah, Eddie…I can do that." I thought about puttin' a beat down on Tommy but then thought, fuck it. I got the boy…he's mine. I could be mature and not resort to physical violence. Besides, it would be way more grown up to just rub it in his stupid ugly face. I grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him up, "C'mon, babe. I promised Em I'd play a few songs." When we got back over to the party, I made sure we were in Tommy's line of sight as I pulled Edward to me and kissed him for all I was worth…I trailed my hands down his back and to his ass where I grabbed two handfuls and squeezed…then I started nibbling that little spot on his neck that makes him growl. By the time I pulled away, he was breathless and half dazed. I walked over to the mic and grabbed my guitar. I told the guys what I wanted to play and they were cool with it so I looked over at my baby boy and smiled as I began wailin' The Black Keys, "Keep Me." And as I sang, I looked over at Tommy as he glared back at me. I sang a few songs and finally they found someone else so I grabbed a beer, Edward's hand and my guitar. It was gettin' pretty wild so Edward leaned into my ear and whisper shouted, "Let's go somewhere we can be alone." That sounds like a fuckin' great idea to me… Of course, Tommy had to stop us as we were starting to walk down the beach.


Brady was following behind him rolling his eyes as he muttered, "Don't come crying to me when you get your ass kicked…" He reached out and grabbed Edward's arm, "Hey wait…" My first instinct was to hit him…obviously…but instead I figured I'd give Edward a chance to stand up for us. Then I'd hit him…maturity can wait a couple more years… Edward turned and pulled his arm away, "Tommy? After that shit that you just pulled you'll be lucky to stay my friend…" Tommy huffed, "Oh my God, did he brain wash you again? Why does he have this kind of hold on you? He's fucking trash…" I didn't even have time to react before Edward sucker punched him. I laughed, "Oh shit! Good hit, Eddie." He just furrowed his brows and shook his hand out as Tommy lay there holding his jaw. Then he looked down and sighed, "Our friendship is over. He is the single most important thing in my life and I will stand up for him. And it's too bad because I'm sure you could use a friend right now…I know that you're depressed and angry and you feel completely alone…don't forget that I was in the same hospital as you…but Tommy, you're pushing away everyone who cares about you. I mean, you knew what you were doing tonight. You tell me that you can't stand for people to touch you any way they wanted and then you kiss me when you knew I didn't want it…a real friend would've never kissed me without permission…especially someone who claims to know me so well…maybe we were never really friends at all…" Tommy stood back up as his eyes began to glisten, "I'm sorry, Edward…I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean what I said about Jasper…he was actually really nice to me when I came to Forks…" I felt the need to step in now, "Yeah, fucker, I was nice to you…Em's like a fuckin' brother to me and by default, I cared about you too. At one time, I even thought we were friends but let me explain somethin' to you…you kissed my boy while he was drunk and after he told you he didn't wanna kiss you…where I come from…that shit merits an ass whoopin'…but since Eddie already took care of that…I'm just gonna say 'fuck off', cuz you may not understand what me and Edward have but who gives you the fuckin' right to judge it?" He shook his head, "Nobody…I'm sorry. I just care about him and you're so damn possessive and it's like he's in a daze when he's with you…" I rolled my eyes, "I guess I never noticed cuz I'm always stuck in the same fuckin' daze…this shit isn't one sided…"


He glared again as he snapped out, "Maybe not but you've been around the block a time or two, Jasper, and Edward is naïve and innocent…" I smiled, "Well, he's not so innocent anymore…" Tommy clenched his fists, "You're a controlling bastard who will just throw Edward away once you're done with him…" I think I finally got it. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my calm as I sneered, "I'm not James…" He glared at me for a minute before storming off. Edward sighed, "Man, he's really messed up right now." I nodded, "Yeah, but we're all fucked up, Edward…" He laced his fingers with mine and smiled, "Come on, Jay…I need to just be with you and forget about the rest of the world for awhile." I smiled back as we started walking down the beach again but he stopped and grinned over at me, "Um…let's go back to the house so we can have some real privacy?" He asked it as a question and I laughed, "Uh huh…you just wanna have your dirty way with me." He chuckled and blushed a little, "Yeah…does that make me bad?" I smiled, "Hell yeah it does and it's fuckin' awesome." We said good night to the gang and headed into the house. Emmett kicked us out of the main bedroom cuz he wanted some naughty time with Rosie underneath that mirror…can't say that I blamed him. So, we walked to our new bedroom and Edward took off running and giggling. I laughed as I walked into the room and saw him sitting on the bed, smiling up at me while he leaned back on his hands. I knew that smirk and that gleam in his eyes…I had seen it many, many nights. I smiled as I stopped and reached behind me to the door knob. He stood as I turned the lock. Before I even heard the 'click', his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. I pulled him inhumanly close and devoured my sweet baby boy as I walked him clumsily backwards to the bed. His hands were fumbling with my zipper as my expert hands quickly popped open his button fly jeans and yanked them fuckers down to his knees.


He laughed breathlessly as I pushed him back onto the bed. I could see his pretty cock straining against the dark green boxer briefs as he reached up and yanked me down on top of him. Our lips crashed together, as did our overheated bodies and immediately, we were grinding hard against each other. Our hands were grabbing clothes and doing our best to rip them off of one another but our bodies refused to part. I felt his hard cock slide against mine through my jeans and then his hands on my back, pushing them down as hard as he could. I lifted up and reached down to pop open the button of my jeans and get the zipper down before he tore those fuckers right off me. When my cock sprang forth, his hand wrapped around it as his other one yanked me back down to him. I pushed into his hand and could still feel his hardness through the fabric of his boxer briefs. I kicked off my jeans and the moment they hit the floor, I reached down and drug his jeans and underwear down his long legs until they joined mine. He sat up and ripped off his shirt, tossing it aside somewhere as I slowly crawled back up his body…kissing and nipping all those little spots that drive him wild…like the inside of his thighs…he can't take that shit. Once he was a shaking, shivering mess…I took the head of his plump cock between my lips and sucked gently before plunging down on it. His back arched and both hands tangled in my blonde curls as he moaned my name over and over again. I felt him tug at my hair and I looked up at him as I just swirled my tongue around the swollen ridge. He groaned, "Please, Jay…can't wait…need you, baby…please, Love…" I let his cock slip from my mouth as he pulled me up to him and kissed me hard. I broke away with a breathless, "Wait a second, baby boy…" I reached down to the floor and pulled the small bottle of lube outta my pocket, before settling back in between my boys legs. I poured a little onto my fingers and then set the bottle aside. I reached down and whispered, "Open up for me, pretty boy." His legs opened further and he pushed his ass against my fingers. I began preparing him as he pulled me back down to him again.


When he was ready, I gently pulled away and grabbed the lube again. I got myself ready and added a little more lube to him. Then I leaned down over him with one hand by his head and the other positioning my straining cock at his tight, slick entrance. I saw him shiver and I whispered, "Are you cold, baby?" He smiled softly, "A little…" Then he reached down and grabbed the blanket, pulling it up over us to my shoulders. I looked down at him and smiled, "Ready?" He nodded as his arms went around my neck, "Yeah, I'm ready, Jay." Very slowly, I started to push in while I took his lips to mine again. There was nothin' in this whole damn world that felt as good as bein' inside Edward Cullen. He was so damn hot and tight around my cock…it felt like my whole body was just bursting into flames. He was right, we weren't normal…we were a hundred times better. With long, slow strokes I moved in and out of him. Our bodies sliding against one another underneath the blanket, quickly becoming sticky and sweaty as we burned from the inside out. It was a long slow ride…I took my time and focused on every shallow breath, every bead of sweat sliding down his neck…the taste of him on my tongue and the feel of his hard cock rubbing against my stomach, trapped between us. I moaned into his mouth as his heels dug into the bed, allowing me to get even deeper inside of him. I made love to him until I felt like my arms would give out from underneath me at any moment. Just in the nick of time, he pushed me onto my back and rolled over on top of me. His lips never left mine as moved slowly up and down my cock. I ripped the blanket away cuz I was completely overheated. And he made love to me for a very long time until I could see his arms straining to hold himself up. So, I wrapped my arms around his waist and sat up on my knees. He gasped and wrapped his arms around me as I started pushing up into him and he pushed down onto me.


His head was thrown back and I reached down between us and took his swollen cock into my hand. I swirled my thumb over the leaky slit and started working my hand as I moved up into him. He was shaking and moaning and gasping. I laid him back down on his back cuz I was on the verge of exploding but he shook his head, "Wait…I want to try something…pull out a minute…" I groaned cuz I was so fuckin' close but I did what he wanted and pulled out. He took a deep breath and turned over, laying his head on his arms with his ass stuck up in the air. His eyes were squeezed shut so I leaned over him and whispered against his shoulder while my cock twitched against his back, "Baby, there's no mirror in here…you're not gonna be able to see me…" He opened his eyes and smiled, "I don't need a mirror, Jay…I see you every time I close my eyes." I smiled back and leaned down to kiss his pretty lips once more before moving in behind him. I positioned myself with one hand while the other went to his shoulder and held him still. I whispered, "Tell me if you need to stop, Eddie." He nodded and closed his eyes again. Once again, I slowly started pushing the head in, releasing a feral grunt when it broke through that tight ring of muscle. My hand moved in between his shoulder blades to keep him still as I pushed myself slowly all the way inside him. Once I was in, I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, "You okay, baby?" He moaned softly, "Yes…please, Jay…I need you…" I gripped his shoulders and pulled out and pushed back in, in small short strokes, not wanting to hurt him by just pounding into him. After a few minutes, he grunted out, "More, Jay…harder…please, baby…" I leaned up and clenched his hips as I pulled almost all the way out, then pushed back in with one long hard motion. He gasped and moaned, "Yes…just like that…do it again…"


So, I repeated what I did but still held back cuz Lord knows I really wanted to pound into that tight ass of his but I was too afraid of hurting him. He started pushing back into me as he pleaded, "Please, Jay…harder…quit holding back…I need you…" I groaned, "I don't wanna hurt you…" He moaned as his fingers clenched the blanket, "Hurt me, Jay…please, baby…please…" I pulled out and sat back as I shook my head, "No, Edward…why would you even ask me…" Was something wrong with him? Was this a psychological thing or some shit? I could never hurt him… He was up on his knees in front of me, grabbing my face and holding it as he looked at me, "I'm okay, Jay…please, don't over think this. I just want you to stop worrying about hurting me. I kind of like a little pain…I'm not talking about whips and chains, Jay…I'm just talking about fucking. I'll tell you to stop if it hurts too much. Just, please baby…" He smiled and leaned down to brush his lips across mine as he whispered, "I'm not as delicate as a girl, Jay…I'm not made of porcelain…I am unbreakable…so please, baby…fuck me hard because you're the only boy who will ever get the chance." That made me smile so I pulled away and pulled him on top of me, "I'll make a deal with ya, Eddie. I will fuck you so hard that I damn well might just break you, but ya gotta be on top. I gotta look at you. I'm not sayin' I won't ever do it from the back but just not tonight, okay?" He smiled down at me and nodded, "Okay, Jay. Deal." I reached behind me and stacked up the pillows behind my back so I could get some really good leverage. Then I dug my heels into the mattress and smiled, "Giddy the fuck up." His breathing hitched and his cock twitched as he hurriedly reached for the lube. My cock twitched against his ass as he reached back and got us both ready. Then he gently lowered himself and took a few deep breaths. He smiled, "I'm ready." I smirked, "You ain't ready yet, darlin'…grab hold of the headboard, you're gonna need somethin' to hold onto…but grab the bars, don't grab the top cuz I


don't want you to get your fingers smashed when that mother fucker slams against the wall." He groaned as his cock bounced lightly against his stomach while he leaned over and did what I said. His face was just inches from mine so I smiled, "You ready now, baby?" He nodded, "I'm ready." I grabbed his ass and clenched it with my fingers as I pulled him up while I pulled my hips down…then when just the head of my cock was still in, I yanked him down as I drove up. The headboard smacked the wall and Edward's head fell back with a long groan, "More…" I dug my heels into the mattress again and gripped his ass so tight that I knew there would be finger shaped bruises on his ass in the morning. I steadily got a little rougher and a little harder each time, testing the waters before I really let go. But my boy was right, he was un-fuckin-breakable. I was fuckin' delirious with pleasure as our bodies came together with a loud 'smack' and two feral groans over and over again. Sweat was running down his neck and onto his chest…my muscles ached as I used every bit of strength I had to fuck this boy so god damn good that he could never even think of lookin' at another boy. He was right about something else too…a little bit of pain is really fuckin' awesome cuz our bodies were trying to go right through one another. The head board slammed into the wall over and over. Edward had given up on holding the head board and had just collapsed on top of me, his face buried in my shoulder and his fingers clenching my back. He was moaning and gasping as he peeled his chest from mine and sat up. He wrapped his fingers around his engorged cock and started stroking like a mad man. I reached up and smacked his ass hard as he screamed out and came in long, white spurts across my chest. The sound of his scream and the feel of him coming undone, pushed me over the edge and I soon followed with my own screams and came hard deep inside him. He collapsed again as we both lay there panting and clinging onto one another.


I grab the sheet and pull it up to wipe us off. Then he just snuggles into my neck and sighs, "Mmm‌love you, Jay. Forever and ever." I smile and pull him closer, "I love you too, Eddie. Forever and ever, babe. Sweet dreams." The next few weeks flew by and although I still avoided Tommy as much as I could, he had apologized again and scheduled an appointment with a therapist when we got back. I had a blast hangin' with the gang and hated leaving. This had been the best summer of my whole fuckin' life and I feared what the fall would bring. Eddie and I were untouchable. This summer had strengthened us beyond normal measures. He was right, we were unbreakable. So, even as the butterflies in my stomach threatened to break through, I just smiled and squeezed his hand as we pulled up the Cullen's driveway. Carlisle had told me that he had put together a case for me to seek emancipation in the state of Texas. He had a few friends working on it and was hopeful that we had a good shot. They were all planning on going to Texas with me and that thought was comforting and terrifying all at the same time. Cuz I wasn't exactly sure what was gonna happen when I saw my daddy‌but I knew that I wouldn't have to face him alone this time.


Chapter Forty-Four Song: Beautiful Love by The Afters Eddie's POV The closer to home we got, the more nervous I became. This had been the best of the last four most wonderful summers of my life. In fact, I didn't really have summer in my life before Jay. I never went outside, I never had any fun, I never felt the sunlight…but he has brought the sun into my life, scorching and brilliant and all encompassing. Of course, we've had more than our fair share of darkness. So many times the black storm clouds would try and outshine my light…but those storms always seem to pass because they are no match for the strength of those rays. Maybe I was being extremely silly but this summer made me feel like…good will always win. Jasper was the best person I have ever known…he was breathtaking in his strength, his beauty, his character…he had to win. Right? His hand slid over mine and I looked up to see his nervous smile. I gave one back and tried to steel my nerves. We were growing up. It was time to face things head on with confidence because I realized over this summer that being with Jasper wasn't always going to be easy. We had so many obstacles in our way…but if we could just stay rooted into the faith of what we had…we could overcome anything. We had to because we were going to graduate high school together, go to college, get married…we were going to have it all one day. I believed that. I had faith is us. We pulled into the driveway and Jasper turned off the car. He squeezed my hand and I looked up into his stormy eyes. I smiled and leaned over, lacing my fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and bringing his plump pink lips to mine. I sighed content and whispered, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." He smiled against my lips and whispered back, "Bible verse?" I chuckled a little and nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close as the console would allow. He kissed me softly and put his forehead to mine as his baby blue eyes opened. He smiled, "Will you tell me what it means?"


I smiled back, "Yeah, it just means that…" I could feel my cheeks heating up as I looked down and whispered, "It means that no matter what happens…we'll be okay. Nothing will keep us from being together and being crazy in love with each other. Not time, or distance, or circumstance…if you believe that too then we'll be okay." He smiled as he lifted my chin up, "We're gonna be just fine, Eddie. Love conquers all…and shit." We both started laughing and I rolled my eyes as I pulled away, "Real smooth, Jay." He smirked and before I knew it, he was leaning over me in my seat, one hand behind my back as the other slid into my hair…his hooded midnight eyes looked into mine as he whispered in a deep southern drawl, "Don't you worry now, darlin'…I've got skills." That was a freaking understatement. My hands tangled in his hair as he leaned me back and I closed my eyes in anticipation of his honey lips…but instead he stiffened and mumbled, "Um…Edward? Your dad's standin' right outside your door." My eyes snapped open and I looked up to be met by the shocked eyes of my father. My whole body was on fire as Jay removed himself from me and I sat up, straightening my shirt and taking a deep breath before I opened the door. I got out as my dad stood there, looking a little dumbfounded. Moments later, Jasper was by my side. We were all quiet for a moment when suddenly my dad blew out a huff of air and started scratching his head, "How about we just pretend that never happened?" Jasper let out a breath and smiled, "That would be awesome." Dad nodded and then opened his arms and smiled, "It's so good to see you, son." I watched as they hugged each other and both struggled to keep their emotions in check. I heard the front door crash and looked up to see my mom running down the stairs with a wide smile lighting up her face. Dad let go of Jay just in time for mom to throw herself into his arms as she sighed, "I've missed you so much. Don't ever make me worry like that again." He smiled against her shoulder and whispered, "I won't, mama. I'm sorry for makin' you worry so much."


And then I heard the crash of the front door again and looked up to see Peter standing on the front porch, smiling down at us as he steadied himself with his old cane. Mom let go of Jasper and he hurried up the steps and carefully pulled Peter into a hug. I saw Peter's lips moving and Jasper nodding his head in agreement of whatever he said. Peter clapped him on the back a few times and Jay pulled away, nodding again and softly smiling. Mom and dad now both pulled me into a hug and dad whispered in my ear, "I love you so much son but never…never, take off like that again. I found a patch of gray hairs, Edward…this is very serious." I chuckled and nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I should've done things differently but thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. I know I'm not easy to deal with sometimes…" He cut me off as he rolled his eyes and laughed, "Imagine that, a sixteen year old boy being difficult to deal with…" I laughed and he threw his arm around my shoulder as we started walking into the house. After bringing in our bags, mom started doing our laundry as Peter plopped down in the recliner and closed his eyes. Dad pulled us aside and motioned to the kitchen. We followed along and he stopped, leaning against the counter and sighing, "I'm afraid he's not doing too well. He sleeps a lot, between the medications and the depression but I do want a moment to speak with you boys." Damn it…please, God please…don't let this be a sex talk… I looked over at Jay and his expression matched mine. Dad walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair. We followed and sat down in front of him. For the first time I looked at my dad and saw the results of the anxiety I placed on him…his hair was sprinkled with bits of gray and silver, his eyes wore tired crinkles in the corners…the guilt threatened to tear right through me. But then he smiled, "Edward, stop worrying about me, I'm fine. I've been working very late the last few nights. Both of you already know how I feel about your running and your not calling me so I won't beat a dead horse. You're good boys and I know that you're going to make mistakes, I just trust that you won't make the same ones again." We both nodded in agreement. He sighed, "Now I know we've talked on the phone about our options but now that you're here, it's time to make decisions. You know I've looked into emancipation and you have a good shot at it but the lawyer I spoke with


suggested that you should go for living with Peter instead of us due to the nature of your relationship with our son." Jasper nodded, "That'd be fine with me. I think Peter probably needs someone to look after him now anyway. I hate the thought of him bein' all alone in that house." Dad continued, "Okay then, well, we're going to go to Texas with you and try to get your father's permission first. However, if he doesn't agree, then we'll go to court. Now this means that you may have to get up on a stand, Jasper, and talk about the…abuse." I looked at Jay as he furrowed his brows. I knew how prideful he could be sometimes. "I don't know if I can do that, Carlisle." I let out a breath, "Jay, you have to face up to this. It's just like Sarah…you have to admit it and you have to know that it doesn't make you weak…" He shook his head, "It's not that, Edward. I can admit he's an abusive bastard…but…he's my dad. I know he's not a good one…but I haven't been very good to him either. I just…" He blew out a huff of air and ran his hand through his hair. Then he pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, "Edward? Would you be mad at me if I didn't wanna do it?" I wanted to be angry at him…but I hated seeing him hurt so I grabbed his hand and squeezed, "No, Jay. I'd never ask you to do something you didn't want to do. Whatever you decide, we're in this together." He looked up and smiled softly, "Thanks, Eddie. I'll do it. I don't know how I feel about it but I know that I wanna be here with you more than anything. And…my family's here. This is where I should be. It's worth fightin' for." I smiled back and dad joined in, "I'm very proud of you, son. So, we'll leave in a few days and I've taken a few weeks off of work. I thought we could go fishing tomorrow. I think it would be good for Peter." We agreed and soon we were all eating dinner together and we told them about our trip, leaving out all the kinky details. After dinner, mom and dad sat down and talked to him about what to do with the money his grandma had left him. They agreed that mom and dad would put most of it away, towards his college but that he had enough to get him a car and a few things he would need if he did have to stay in Texas, although they were optimistic about the outcome of the situation.


That night, Jasper decided to stay the night with Peter. I knew he missed him a lot. I think Peter reminded him of himself. I let him use my car and we would all meet up in the morning to go fishing. It felt surreal to put on my pajama pants and crawl into my bed…I felt different…older…wiser… I felt like the kid from The Wonder Years. I giggled as I slid underneath the blankets because it felt really good to be home. There was a knock on my door and I called out for them to come in. My mom walked in with a smile and two glasses of Mississippi Mud, "I thought you might like this." I smiled, "Yeah, thanks, mom." She set down the glass and I took a big drink. She sat down next to me and smiled brightly, "So, how are things with you and Jasper?" I blushed and looked down, "They're…fantastic. Jay's wonderful, but you know that." She nodded, "I do. How are things with you, sweetheart?" I looked back up, "Um…I'm fine. Everything's good." She nodded again and set her glass down on the nightstand as she turned to me, "Edward? We're all very hopeful that Jasper will get to stay here in Forks but you do know there's a chance that might not happen, right?" I felt the lump in my throat as I nodded, "Yeah, mom, I know." She sighed and grabbed my hand, "Promise me…promise me that if you ever…see something or hear something…that if you're ever scared about anything at all…promise that you'll come to me. Trust me, baby. I'm not perfect but I promise you that I will always do my very best to be fair and understanding…I promise that nothing will ever change how I feel about you. I love you so much and I've been so worried about you. I can't lose you. My heart would not survive it." Guilt reared it's ugly head again and I swallowed thickly and nodded, "I promise, mom. Honestly, I'm scared about the possibility of Jasper leaving again but I promise you that I won't fall apart again. I'll ask for help if I need it. I'm not going anywhere…you won't lose me." She smiled and pulled me into a hug. Then she pulled away and tousled my hair, "My darling boy…I hoped you enjoyed your one free pass because if you ever take off like that again, I will ground you for all of existence…got it?"


I smiled, "I've got it. I love you, mom." She broke into a beautiful grin as I noticed the laugh lines that now laid in the corners of her eyes. I had never realized how much laughter this house holds… "I love you too, sweetheart." My phone vibrated on the nightstand and I looked over and smiled, "It's Jay." Mom smiled and stood up, "Good night, honey…don't stay up too late." I grabbed my phone and nodded, "Okay, good night, mom." She left the room and I hit the button, "Hey Jay." "Hey Eddie…what'cha doin'?" I snuggled back into my pillow and closed my eyes, "Lying in bed and thinking of you." I heard him mumble, "Fuck…" Then he chuckled, "Would it be weird if I said I miss you?" I smiled, "No…I miss you too…where's Peter?" "He's watchin' Sanford and Son…I just came out on the porch to smoke." "How are things going?" He sighed, "I actually need to ask you for a favor…" I furrowed my brows, "Anything, Jay…what is it?" "Charlotte's flower garden is dyin'…I think I can save it but it's gonna take a lot of work and I need to get it done fast…like tomorrow…cuz I just can't stand it…Peter comes out here every mornin' to drink his coffee and look at Charlotte's garden…I can let him watch that die too." I could only imagine the pain that Peter was feeling at losing his Charlotte… "Yeah, of course…um, we're supposed to go fishing in the morning so we can start working on it when we get back…" There was another knock on my door and I sighed, "Hang on a sec…" I pulled the phone away and set it in next to me, "Come in."


My dad walked in with a weird look on his face and I raised an eyebrow. He quickly shut the door and walked over with a CVS bag in his hand, "Look, son, your mother is in the shower so I have to make this quick…she is content enough to think that you're going to stay a virgin forever...I know better. So…um…as a doctor, I thought I should…talk to you…ask if you have any questions…" Oh. My. God. I pressed my palm over the phone, praying to God that Jasper didn't hear this conversation as I choked out, "Um…no, I'm good. Uh…thanks." We were both scarlet as he handed me the bag, not looking into my eyes as he mumbled, "Good…good…okay, here. Be safe…use condoms…and um…lubrication to prevent tears…" "Dad! I get it! Good God, stop!" Now my dad smirked, still with red cheeks, "One more thing and I'll leave it alone…" I buried my head and mumbled, "Why not…" He sat down next to me and laughed, "Look at me, Edward." I groaned and raised my eyes. He smiled, "Trust me…one day far into the future…you'll look back at this and laugh. Now, I do not want you or Jasper to think that I am offering my approval for you to be intimate…I just value both of your safety more than anything else. Jasper, I can hear you laughing. Edward, put him on speaker…this is for both of you to hear." I slowly lifted the phone up and heard him mumble, "Aw hell…" I pressed the speakerphone button and dad smirked again, "Hello, son." "Hey Carlisle." "Boys, sex is a very serious thing. Although I wish you were waiting, I am not naïve enough to think that you're not already intimate. That being said, I ask that you be safe and respect each other…and don't think that you're going to be able to stay in the same room any longer or have my permission to just have at it…you're going to have to sneak around like every other hot blooded teenager…and just let me leave you with this thought…if you have sex in my house, I will catch you and just imagine how awkward that will be. Good talk, boys. Don't stay on the phone all night."


He got up and walked out as I sat there, unable to form words. Then I mumbled, "My dad's sex talks are going to give me erectile dysfunction." Jasper started laughing and I couldn't help but grin. "Holy fuck, dude…that was funny as shit…" I rolled my eyes and we talked a little more before he went back inside to watch TV with Peter. I watched TV for a little while until I finally a got a text. Love you…Sweet dreams, darlin… I smiled and texted back. Love you too…Good night, babe… I fell asleep easily and woke up early the next morning. I was excited about seeing Jay again and I wasn't disappointed as I watched him stumble down the front steps of Peter's house, scratching his belly and yawning. Ironically, Peter followed along behind him doing the same thing. I let my dad drive the Volvo so I scooted over in the back seat as Jay opened the door and slid in, half asleep. I smiled brightly and handed him the cup of coffee I had brought for him. He smiled back as he took it and leaned over, pressing his strong lips to mine… Mmm…honey and mint toothpaste… Then he pulled away, wide eyed as he looked up to see my dad looking back at us. He turned bright red as I felt my cheeks flush. Then he looked out the window and mumbled, "Sorry." Peter was laughing his deep hearty laugh as he sank into the front seat, "Hey Carlisle…do ya remember the first time ya ever made out in a car?" Jasper looked at me in confusion and I mirrored his expression. "Ah, yes, I do, Peter…it was my sweet Esmeralda…we were at the drive in, actually, in my old 65 Mustang that I bought solely to piss off my mother…we were watching…hmm…I don't recall what we were watching."


They started laughing I groaned, "Really, dad? I don't need to hear about your and mom's sordid affairs…" Peter laughed, "Mine was in my old beat up truck…I was fifteen and her name was Emmylou…or was it Wendy Sue? Hell, it don't matter cuz I figured out that Charlotte was the one for me pretty soon after that…" My dad smiled and Jay and I both looked at each other again, silently begging the other one to make it stop. "I've never made out in a truck…although there was this one time when Esme and I were on the bus…and then that time in the taxi…" I had enough as I stuck my head up between the two front seats and blurted out, "Shiny, silver Volvo…these sits that you're sitting in…about a month and a half ago…with Jasper." Peter and dad both had the decency to turn a little red before dad mumbled, "Let's listen to radio…" He flipped it on and I sat back in seat with a smile on my face. Jay looked over at me and graced me with his beautiful dimpled grin, "Nice, Eddie." I just blushed and looked out the window for the rest of the trip…although it was a nice surprise to feel rough, calloused fingertips sliding over mine and taking my hand in his while we rode. Once we reached the lake, we had a blast fishing. Dad and I were kind of the newbie's so Peter and Jay took us underneath their wing and by the afternoon, we had caught a hell of a lot of fish…only to release them again since we didn't plan on eating them. And we all talked…like family. It was actually a lot of fun. Dad and Peter told us stories from their childhoods and we talked about school and what we wanted to do after school. We talked about everything and just enjoyed being in one another's company. It was good to see Peter so happy and talkative. I worried quite a bit about him because the thought of ever losing Jay just made me…shut down…I couldn't even think about it. After the fishing trip, Jasper and I worked in Charlotte's garden. It was extremely hard work, pulling all the weeds and stuff but it was definitely worth it in the end because a few days later, the garden was beautiful again. Jay had been staying with Peter since we got back and the only time I had felt those wonderful fingers on my body was the few times that he would rub sun block on my back and shoulders.


So, the night before we were leaving for Texas…I had begun experiencing serious Jasper withdrawals. Snuggled in my bed, I closed my eyes and whispered into the phone, "God, I miss you…I miss your hands…I miss your lips…your beautiful cock…" He groaned softly, "Fuck, Edward…when the hell are we gonna get together, man…I'm goin' fuckin' crazy…" I wasn't against pleading, "Come over…I'll let you in through the garage and we can sneak up here to my room…" He sighed, "As temptin' as that is, darlin'…if your dad caught us, it would fuckin' suck." I groaned and pushed my head into the pillow, "I want you, Jay…I need you…I'm coming over…" He laughed softly, "Yeah?" I jumped up out of bed and starting pulling on my jeans, "Fuck yeah…I'll be there in half an hour…is Peter asleep?" "Yeah…he took his pills so he'll be out like a light all night. I'll be waitin' for you, Eddie. Be careful, okay?" I smiled, "I will. See you soon. I love you, Jay." "Love you too, Eddie. See you soon." I yanked on a t-shirt and slipped on my shoes. I pulled on a ball cap and then rolled my eyes because it's not like that's going to disguise who I am, should my dad catch me. I crept slowly down the stairs and into the garage. Then I was worried that my dad would hear the garage door or the start of the car, since I had to start parking it in the garage for fear of my sneaking out again. Ironic, I know. But if there's one thing I've learned…horny teenage boys will do just about anything to have sex…especially with someone they were completely in love with. So, I groaned a little as I rode my stupid bicycle to Peter's house but the humiliation of someone possibly seeing me was far outweighed by my need for some of Pedro Cockriguez.


Of course, he was sitting on the porch steps smoking a cigarette when I pedaled up. He immediately started laughing in all his blue jeaned, bare-footed and bare chested glory. I huffed as I got off the bike and let it drop to the ground, "My balls hurt." He smiled as he giggled, "Aww…want me to kiss 'em all better?" I nodded and dead-panned, "Yes, that sounds lovely." He started laughing again and I smiled, "I missed you." He threw out his cigarette and grabbed my hand, "Well, come on, pretty boy…we only got about five hours 'fore ya gotta go back home so we better get a move on…" I could feel the butterflies fluttering around my stomach as we walked in the house. I whispered, "Are you sure Peter won't wake up?" He smiled that beautiful dimpled grin as he put his arms around my waist and started pulling me to his room while he walked backwards, "I'm positive…his hearin' aid is out…he's taken his medicine…he's out for at least eight hours…" Once we reached the room he was staying in, he pulled me through and locked the door behind us. And the sound of that 'click' brought me back to the hundreds of times we had combusted into a frenzied heat of need at the sound of the door being locked. And in that single moment, everything else was forgotten as he desperately crashed his lips to mine, his tongue swirling around mine as his hands clenched the back of my t-shirt, willing me closer. I moaned into his mouth and weaved my fingers into soft golden curls, never being able to get enough of his taste on my tongue to satisfy me. He pulled me away from the door and continued his slow work of making me forget my own name. His hands began trailing leisurely over my hips and up my sides as they brought the fabric of my t-shirt up with them. His rough fingertips teased my overheated skin as every cell in my body drew toward him in an overwhelming rush of desire… And then I was dragging him to bed in a frenzied rush to feel his skin on mine. He gasped into my mouth as I pushed him down onto the bed, attaching myself to smooth lips and falling right on top of him. He ripped my shirt over my head and I took to his neck and jaw while his head pushed back into the mattress, eyes closing and beautiful moans falling from perfect pink lips.


My body was on fire and I was thankful for the cool breeze that blew in from the open window. My fingers quickly found their way to his zipper as I pulled it open. One of his hands tore open my jeans while his other pushed into the back of my jeans and into my boxer briefs. His fingers dug into my ass as he squeezed really hard, yanking me into him. Now my head fell back with a soft moan and then his lips were on mine again…rough and bruising with their desperation for more of me. And my lips mimicked his as I pushed my straining cock against his through our open jeans and boxer briefs. I pushed him up further onto the bed while our jeans slid down our legs further and our hands did their best to help them along. But our bodies were pressed against each other so close that it was hard to get them off. His hands found their way to the back of my underwear, pushing it down over my ass and gripping me roughly again. My jeans around my knees made it difficult to maneuver but I managed to push his boxer briefs down low onto his hips so that I finally freed his gorgeous cock. And I lost any semblance of control as his searing cock slid against mine, sending an explosion of fire through my body as I growled, "Get those God damn cock-blocking jeans off…" His lidded eyes gazed into mine as he nodded and began tearing the jeans and underwear down his legs. I rolled over onto my back and did the same thing because I needed skin on skin…and I needed every single inch of it but doubted that would even satisfy my thirst for him. The moment the offending clothes landed with a soft thump to the floor, we were together again. We laid on our sides with our legs intertwined and our arms wrapped tightly around each other while our fingers explored every trace of skin they could find. Our thick cocks rubbed shamelessly against each other while we swallowed the soft moans and grunts of our wanton actions. He pushed me onto my back as his mouth found the sensitive skin at the crook of my neck. He began working his way down my body, kissing and licking and sucking on my overheated flesh.


He swirled his metal stud around my nipples and I gasped as he bit down gently and started running the stud across the sensitive nub. He then moved down my stomach and my hips, biting and running that stud along all the creases in my skin. His shallow breaths tickled the tip of my cock as he blew softly on the swollen head before taking me into his hot mouth. I groaned and lifted my head so I could look at my cock, now glistening with the wetness of his mouth as it slipped between his plump lips. I was straining to keep myself from thrusting up into his mouth, eager for more as he wielded his exquisite torture upon my body. He pulled away with a smile as he reached over into his bag, pulling out the dildo and a bottle of lube, "I wanna try somethin', Eddie…you up for a little kink tonight?" I smiled back, breathlessly agreeing, "Um...yeah…" I watched as he squeezed some lube onto his fingers before settling between my legs and taking my throbbing cock back into his scorching mouth. The tip of his finger began circling my entrance before slowly pushing in. I was lost in a haze of ecstasy as his fingers and mouth worked together to draw out whimpers and moans and gasps as my body ached for release but I wasn't ready to give into the pleasure quite yet. I whimpered again as his fingers slipped out and he sat up on his heels. I started to protest but I saw him pick up the dildo and begin coating it with the slick lube. His eyes seared into mine as he brought it between my legs and whispered, "Open up for me, baby boy…" I spread my legs, giving him complete access to anything he desired. The tip of the dildo pressed against my hole and I groaned as it slid into me, stretching and burning almost as hot as the desire I had within me. He sat there and just watched me as he pumped the dildo in and out of me, slowly working up to a faster pace. My hand reached for my cock and he slapped it out of the way as he lifted up on his knees and straddled my chest, never ceasing his motion of fucking me with the thick fake cock while his free hand laid on my hip. He smiled down at me as his leaking cock stood only a few inches from my face. I twisted and bent my body up off the mattress to be rewarded with the sticky tip on my tongue and honey on my lips.


His head fell back and he moaned into the nighttime air, "Get me ready for you, darlin'…I wanna ride you while I fuck you…" From his words alone, my eyes shut and I groaned but quickly grabbed the lube and coated my fingers. I took the head of his cock between my lips as my finger slipped inside his waiting hole. He rocked back and forth, taking my fingers deeper inside of him and then pushing his cock down my throat. A few minutes later, he slipped from my mouth and moved down to my cock as it pulsed anxiously against his beautiful ass. He leaned back on his free hand while his other one still worked the dildo in and out of me, stroking my magic spot with every thrust. I reached down and took my cock into my hand, positioning it at his hole. I felt him push down past the tip and my head fell into the mattress and my eyes squeezed shut at the overwhelming pleasure of fucking and being fucked all at the same time. He groaned, "If ya…wanna stop…just tell… me…" My eyes opened as a delirious smile spread across my face and I grunted, "I'm not that…fucking crazy…don't stop, Jay…don't fuckin stop…" He slowly sank down on my aching cock until it was fully seated inside of him. The tightness and heat from his body encompassing my own was making me lose all control as I wrapped my hand around his swollen cock. I pushed up into him and back onto the dildo, experiencing amazing shots of pleasure with every small movement. Watching him on top of me, sliding up and down on my cock with hooded eyes and a hungry look adorning his sinfully beautiful face, I was over come and pleaded with him, "Oh God…you've got to…cum, baby…I can't hold on…much longer…" He moaned as my hand slid up and down his cock, swirling my fingers over the tip and coating him in his own sticky honey. A few strokes later and he was calling out my name as his cock erupted, shooting lovely streams of his cum all over my chest and neck. The dildo slipped out of me in his powerful orgasm and I took the opportunity to take him exactly as I wanted him. I grabbed his hips and pushed him onto his back as I rolled us over, burying myself deep inside of his tight heat. He was making unintelligible sounds as our slick, sweat soaked bodies crashed into each other over and over again.


I took his lips to mine and our chests only became that much more slick as my cum covered stomach slid against his. I gripped his curls tight between my fingers and his legs wrapped around my hips, locking his feet above my ass and drawing me deeper into him. I flew over the edge as I exploded inside of him before collapsing, out of air and stuck together with sweat and cum. He ran his fingers through my hair as we both took a few minutes to gather our breath. I closed my eyes and started to drift off when I was awoken with a soft kiss and a lazy southern drawl, "Wake up, baby boy…ya gotta get back 'fore your dad catches you." I groaned as I pulled myself away and looked into his pretty blue eyes, "I love you, Jay." He smiled, "I love you too, Eddie." Reluctantly, I pulled myself from his warmth and managed to wipe off some of the stickiness before getting redressed. He pulled up his jeans and walked me outside. I was pulled into a strong hug and I could feel his smiling lips on my neck, "Be careful ridin' home, baby…call me as soon as you get there, okay?" I nodded and yawned, "Okay, Jay…I can't wait until we can wake up together again…this sucks…leaving you…" He smiled softly as he pulled away, "We'll be alright, Eddie. Now get goin' darlin…we'll be lucky to get more than a couple hours sleep before we're up and on the road." I nodded and turned, picking up the stupid bicycle as he chuckled behind me and lit a cigarette. "It's not funny, Jay." I grumbled as I lifted my leg over and glared at him. He broke into a breathtaking dimpled grin, "Yeah it is, Eddie…love you, baby…be careful." I couldn't help but smile back, "Love you too, babe…good night." I rode away to him laughing and I wanted to be annoyed but I was still completely drunk from the ecstasy of our last few hours together…good thing I did take the bicycle because I was pretty sure I could totally get a DUI from being intoxicated from the sweetest of honey.


I rolled my eyes at my apparent giddiness as I made the long trip home but I supposed I could just sleep in the car tomorrow on the way to Texas. My stomach churned again with the thought of what possibilities lie in our future. But I was certain that no matter what happened, we'd have our happy ending.


Chapter Forty-Five Playlist : Fade by Staind Jay's POV My stomach churned as I saw Carlisle's SUV and Em's Jeep pull down the long dirt drive. We were leaving for Texas today and although I knew it was necessary…I really didn't wanna go. I worried about Peter. If I ended up back in Texas, he'd be here all by himself. His health really hadn't been all that good these last few days and I think he needed someone to help take care of him. If I did have to stay in Texas, I needed to make sure that Carlisle had some sort of plan for Peter. I groggily stumbled down the porch steps and was met by a super hyper pixie. She threw her arms around me and squeezed, "This is all going to work out, Jazzy. I just have this feeling…" I smiled, "I hope you're right, Ali. I need this to work out." She pulled away and looked up at me, "It will, Jazz…one way or the other, things are going to be okay." I nodded and was grateful for her reassurance. Then Rose and Em walked up, hand in hand, "You ready for this, bro?" I let out a breath, "As ready as I'll ever be." Rose smiled and I couldn't help but smile back because she is really fuckin' beautiful when she smiles…which isn't all that often. But I kinda dug that about her…the boys back home had no idea what was comin' down to Texas with me. Alice was kind of an old soul and a free spirit…but she was also kind of fearless…I really loved that about her. And Em…he was my bro. He was unlike anyone I had ever met…most big guys I had known like him were bullies…but Em was a softy…unless you fucked with him then he'd fuckin' lay your ass out. He was fuckin' awesome. I hoped that I'd get to be here when they graduated next year.


We quickly packed the SUV with my and Peter's shit before I crawled in the backseat, next to my boyfriend who was fast asleep and snoring pretty fuckin' loud. I laughed and leaned over to his ear, "Good mornin', Eddie." He grinned and mumbled with a sleepy rough voice that went straight to my cock, "Mmm…hey baby…" And then he wrapped his arms around my neck and snuggled into my chest, never opening his eyes. I felt a little awkward as Esme crawled in next to me, Peter was sitting in the front with Carlisle. She smiled a little nervously as her eyes flickered to Edward, "My, my…he looks very…comfy…" I could feel my cheeks burning and I started nudging him, trying to get him to move over to his side. But instead, his head fell into my lap and he tightened his grip around my waist. I groaned in embarrassment, frustration, and…well, because Edward's head was in my lap. This trip's startin' out fuckin' great… Esme shot up out of her seat and yanked Edward off my lap, before she scooted me over and took her place right between us. Edward woke up now with a confused look and Esme let out a breath and smiled, "Much better…my beautiful, sweet boys…" And then she put her arms around the both of us and kind of forced our heads on her shoulder. It seemed that mama C was havin' a little bit of a freak out about her baby boy… Edward looked over at me in his mama bear headlock and mouthed, 'What the fuck?' I just laughed softly and mouthed, 'I love you…" And then I closed my eyes and…well, I snuggled into her and went to sleep.


We stopped and ate a few times before finally pulling off to a hotel. Peter roomed with Carlisle and Esme, Rose and Em got a room, and then me, Edward, and Alice shared a room. I think it made Esme feel better to have Alice in the room cuz she didn't think we'd do it…she was wrong cuz not only was there the shower but I also talked Eddie into a little freaky time after Ali fell asleep…at least, I think she was sleepin'. The trip was long but it was a lot of fun being with everyone again. I felt liked I belonged and I reveled in the fact that these people…these really good people, took me in as one of theirs. I had always wanted a family and I finally had one. But there were drawbacks…I had to watch my mouth like a fuckin' hawk and I couldn't smoke around Esme…she woulda definitely went all mama bear on my ass. It was worth it though. And when we finally started headin' into Mission…I found myself taking deep breaths to keep from freakin' the fuck out. But I felt myself slowly slipping back into that tough Texas boy I needed to be. I've been through a hell of a lot of shit in my life and I'll be fuckin' damned if my daddy fuckin' broke me. I didn't know what to expect but I knew daddy was probably preparin' for fuckin' war or some shit cuz he knew they were bringin' me back. I could feel my skin beginning to crawl as I thought about Esme and Carlisle and…everybody else actually comin' face to face with my dad. The man was a fuckin' embarrassment and I didn't want them to see where I came from. I started thinkin' that this was a really bad idea as we turned down the street to my dad's house…but it was too late cuz we pulled to the curb in front of the house and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt his soft fingers glide over mine and I opened my eyes and looked over at him. I focused on his eyes, dark green and jade swirls…completely lulling me into a false sense of security. The beautiful crooked grin solidifying my resolve that this was gonna work. I smiled back and squeezed his hand reassuring him that I was alright…even if I was lyin' my fuckin' ass off. Esme placed her hand over ours and smiled sweetly, "No matter what happens…you will be okay. We can get through anything together, darling. You will never have to face anything alone again."


She gave me a quick hug before I finally took one more deep breath and stepped outta the car. I looked up at the porch and saw my dad sittin' there with Jeremiah. I was glad that his deployment date got pushed back and I would get see him before he left. My dad stood and looked at me for a moment before turning and walking into the house. Jeremiah came bouncin' down the steps and over to us. Em and Rose were standing next to me, holding hands. Edward was one my other side and Alice was next to him. Peter, Esme, and Carlisle stood behind me. I smiled as Jeremiah grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, "Hey Cuz! Ya got your own little posse, huh? That's pimp shit!" We separated and I laughed, "You're a silly mother fu…" I heard Esme gasp behind me, "Are you about to use the 'F' word, sweetheart?" I could feel my face burn as Jeremiah and everyone else chuckled a little, "Sorry, mama…" Then Jeremiah turned to Eddie and stuck out his hand, "Hey there, pretty boy…" Now Eddie blushed and took his hand, "Hey Jeremiah." Then he turned to Alice and my jaw dropped as he broke into a big dimpled grin, took her hand and drawled out, "Well, my, my, my…you gotta boyfriend, darlin'?" Alice fuckin' blushes and shakes her head as she giggles. He smirks and brings her hand to his lips as he gives her knuckles a kiss and says, "Ya do now, sugar…I'm Jeremiah." She giggled again but looked up at him with her own smirk and a gleam in her eye, "I'm not really looking for a boyfriend, Jeremiah." He chuckled a little and leaned down to her ear as he whispered, "Tough shit, baby girl…I'm yours…" I rolled my eyes and huffed to get his attention away from tryin' to Mack on one of my best friends, "Cuz? How's your chick doin' with the baby and all?"


He looked over at me and smirked, "She's doin' alright…we broke up awhile back. She dumped my ass as soon as I told her I was joinin' the military. Truth is, I ain't wild bout that girl raisin' my baby…" Now I felt a little bad, "Oh…sorry, Cuz." He smiled and shrugged, "Sometimes it don't matter how much you love someone cuz they just can't love you back. It sucks but ya gotta move on…my only concern right now is my baby that girl's carryin'…" Then he turned and winked at Alice, "Don't you think for one second that I'm done with you yet, pretty girl…we'll talk more later." She fuckin' blushed again and Jeremiah went about introducing himself to everyone. He held out his hand for Rose and she took it as he just grinned, "Nice to meet you, Rosalie. That's an awfully big boyfriend ya got there, darlin', so I'm gonna step away now." She laughed a little and he held his hand out to Em, "Sup? So, my little Cuzzy here tells me that you play on the startin' D-line back in Washington…I was a left defensive tackle…" Em broke into a grin, "No shit! You watching the Texas U game this Saturday?" Jeremiah nodded, "Yup, ya'll oughta come over and chill with me 'fore I leave…we can have us a game…" They talked for a minute about football before he finally introduced himself to Peter, Esme, and Carlisle. It was kinda cool seein' my cousin getting along well with everyone…but it was my dad I was worried about. "Hey Jeremiah? What's goin' on with daddy? He won't even talk to me now?" Jeremiah turned and smiled, "Naw, man…he just needs a minute…maybe we should go in and talk to him…" I looked up at the house and sighed, "Yeah, maybe…" I stepped away and turned back to everyone, "Um…just give me a minute, okay?" Carlisle spoke, "Son, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you being alone with him until I know how he's reacting…"


Jeremiah put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, sir…I'll be with him and Uncle Wayne's pretty calm right now. Besides, if he tries and lays a hand on my little Cuz…we're gonna stomp a mud hole in his ass. He already knows…I warned him." I smiled cuz it was kinda nice that Jeremiah had taken up for me against my dad, "It'll be okay, Carlisle. I won't be long." He hesitantly agreed and I found myself slowly walkin' in the front door behind Jeremiah. My dad was sittin' at the kitchen table and when he looked up at me…something was different. He stood and I couldn't move. He walked over and stopped in front of me, my eyes never left his and I watched him warily. He spoke calmly, "You shouldn't have left without tellin' me where you were goin'…" I tried to keep myself calm cuz just being near him kinda made my blood boil, "You never cared where I was before…" His eyes tightened and I could hear his pitch beginning to raise as he fought off the urge to scream, "Your mama always told me where you were…I knew…I just…" I rolled my eyes as the anger started bubbling to the surface, "You just didn't give a fuck, huh, dad? You don't give a fuck about nobody but you…" He gritted his teeth and I felt like I was teasing a rabid dog that would soon turn, "That's bullshit, Jasper! I loved you and your mama! My life was just fucked up! You don't know the shit I've been through!" That pissed me the fuck off and I just blew, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me? I don't fuckin' know you at all! Did'ja ever stop to think about my life? You were too fuckin' wrapped up in your own god damn sob story to see that I fuckin' needed you! I needed someone! I had nobody! All my fuckin' life I've been treated like your and mama's god damn mistake and I'm fuckin' done with this shit!" Jeremiah stepped between us and held his arms out, "Whoa now, boys…ya'll both need to calm the hell down. Uncle Wayne, ya know I respect ya but I'm gonna need to take a step back 'fore shit gets a little too wild…Jay, take a breath, man…calm this shit down…" Dad took a step back and closed his eyes, trying to calm down so I did the same. After a minute, dad spoke again, "Son, you can't go runnin' off like that…I need to know where you're at."


I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, "You're right, dad…I'm movin' back to Washington. My friend, Peter, needs me right now…" His eyes narrowed and he growled, "I don't wanna hear about your little faggot boyfriend!" I needed to get the fuck outta here now or shit wasn't gonna end pretty. I just looked him in the eye and kept my voice calm, "You really sit here and wonder why mama didn't come back to you? You think by callin' me names that it means you're more of a man than me? You're a god damn drunk…a pathetic fuckin' prick who wasn't even man enough to keep your family together…" And then the wind was knocked outta me as he came barreling at me and I crashed through the screen door and onto the porch. My back ached and my head was pounding, all his weight was on me, crushing my ribs and I tried to get my bearings as I looked around. I saw Em, Edward, and Carlisle closing in and I did not want them involved in this shit. Jeremiah was on him next and it distracted my dad enough that I was able use every bit of strength I had and shove that fucker off of me. He stumbled backwards off the porch, landing on his back…that was all I needed for once in my fuckin' life to finally get the upper hand on him. And then I was fuckin' lost. I faintly remember people pulling at me and screaming but I couldn't stop myself from just hitting him over and over…he fought back and I'd find myself pinned beneath him again…only to fight my way back on top and commence to whoopin' his mother fuckin' ass, cuz he wasn't beatin' me today… Everything else around me faded away into a sea of red as I just gave in and let my anger have it's dirty way with me. It wasn't until I was being thrown face first into the hood of a car and the familiar feel of steel around my wrists that the whole picture started coming back to me. My body ached with each rugged breath as I looked up into the faces of the people that loved me…red and blue lights showcased the whole god damn thing. Carlisle was talkin' to a cop while my dad was face down on the other police car. Edward had his arms around his mom who looked like her heart had been completely shattered. Em held Rosalie as she gazed off with a distant look in her eyes. Jeremiah was sitting on the porch as Alice held a bag of ice to his eye. I fucked up…


I squeezed my eyes shut and wished that I could kick my own ass. The fucker got to me…and now who knows what the hell is gonna happen. I berated myself for being such a fuckin' asshole as the pigs threw me in the backseat and took off. I couldn't even look Edward in the eyes this time…I had royally fucked everything up. How long would they even stick around if I couldn't man the fuck up and control my fuckin' temper? I barely remember them beginning to process me as I got lost in all those thoughts of what I should have done. Hindsight's a mother fuckin' bitch. And then life had to go and be all fuckin' ironic and sadistic again as I was being shoved into a holding cell where my father sat. He was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall as he stared out the window. I groaned, "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" The guard laughed, "Nope…I think it would do you two boys some good to be stuck together…" I couldn't believe this asshole. "What the fuck? What the hell are you even charging us with? You can't just fuckin' lock me in here with the mother fucker who's ass I was beatin' when you cock suckers pulled up!" That got a reaction and he slammed me against the wall and hissed, "Look here, boy…your daddy and me have been friends since we was babies. So you gotta make a fuckin' choice…stay here till mornin' and if you two have cooled off, I'll release you with no charges filed…or keep bein' a little asshole and we will pick up assault charges on both of ya…" I rasped out, "Is that even legal?" And I was being slammed against the wall again. It worked this time cuz I was fuckin' done…I was exhausted. "I'm tryin' to cut you a break, boy, outta respect for your daddy…he's tryin' to clean his shit up cuz you up and run away…he's been sober for three weeks now and he's been dealin' with a lot of demons so maybe you can cut him a little slack even if he don't deserve it…"


The wind getting knocked outta me was probably a good thing cuz I just nodded. I was getting a second fuckin' chance at getting outta this shit…I just had to get along with my dad till mornin'. I had to control my temper…I had to be the bigger man… This was gonna be a fuckin' nightmare. I sighed as the cell door shut. My dad never looked over so I just went to the stupid cot and laid down. I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, trying to get lost in my happy place…which was basically anywhere with Edward. But I felt nauseous when I thought of him or anybody else cuz I knew that they were all probably worried half to death…and I knew they were really disappointed in me. I was disappointed in me. I gotta stop letting people draw these kinda reactions outta me…I gotta learn to control my emotions, especially my anger. Peter's words were runnin' through my head… "Anger…rage…hate…those things will consume you from the inside out if you let 'em. You gotta let it go, son. Just let it all go." Unfortunately that was much easier said then done. I don't have any idea how long I laid there but the sound of his voice caused me to turn my head because it sounds different…defeated. "I met your mama when she was just fourteen. My buddy, Dave, was datin' her best friend, Bobbi Sue and they set us up. I had seen your mama at school but I never really noticed her before cuz she was a couple years younger than me. I was mad as hell when I went to Bobbi Sue's to pick 'em up. But I'll never forget her walkin' outta that house in the tightest pair of jeans I had ever seen…" He started laughing and I sat up, thoroughly confused, "What the hell are you talkin' about?" He still wasn't looking at me as he smiled and I almost wondered if he was losing his ever lovin' mind. "You were right, son. You don't know me and I don't know you. So, by the time your mama jumped in the front seat next to me…I was seein' her really for the


first time. At school she never really dressed up or anything…it's like she tried to blend in but when she went out with me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. I fell hard. I was so in love with that girl…we both had rough home lives and we just took to each other…kindred souls and all that shit." That made me chuckle a little in spite of myself. "Her mama and daddy were…evil. Mine were just real strict. My hair was too long and daddy hated my music…I was in a band, lead guitarist. It pissed them off cuz daddy always wanted me to join the military but I was content enough to work in a factory and play down at the local bar on Friday nights with your mama by my side. But then I just lost it one night on her daddy and nearly beat him half to death." He looked over at me now and I could see his worn and battered face…he looked much older than he was but for the first time I saw a glimpse of someone younger inside. His cold blue almost matched the gray walls behind him, "I never meant for things to get as out of hand as they did…I went over there with the intention of beatin' the hell outta him but once I started…I couldn't stop. He done unspeakable things and in that moment, I believed I was justified in takin' his life. All it takes is one moment, son, to change your life forever. In one moment, I lost everything cuz I couldn't control myself. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout…you had that same lost look in your eye today when you were whoopin' my ass…" And then he laughed. He was definitely losing his mind. I was still wary, "Why are you tellin' me this?" He grimaced and looked out the window again…he appeared to be in pain. "Your mama was pregnant with you when it happened and my daddy pulled a deal with the judge to not file any charges against me if I joined the Marines. That bastard got his fuckin' wish. Me and your mama got married right before ya was born…I'll never forget that day. You came out just a'screamin' your head off with this mop of blonde curls and big blue eyes…you sure were a cute little thing." I felt like I was in some fuckin' alternate reality…Matrix type shit…fallin' down the fuckin' rabbit hole… Damn Edward and the geeky movies he forces me to watch… "I left for the Marines a couple days later, leavin' you and your mama behind. The only thing that kept me goin' was knowin' that I was gonna come back in a few years and have my family. That was all I ever really wanted…you and your


mama. She went through hell while I was gone and I swore that I was gonna help her as soon as I got back and put our family together." He sighed and looked back over at me, "I put your mama in rehab and she swore that she was gonna get better and come back to us. I got a little apartment and took you home with me, figurin' that we could get everything ready for when she came home. It was hard…you were barely four years old and you didn't know me. I had been dreamin' of this picture perfect family waitin' on me but everything was all messed up. The military had been good for me in some ways cuz it taught me to control my emotions but without that structure I was used to and the strain of tryin' to put us back together again…it was too much. You stayed with me in that little apartment for three months. Your mama ran off from rehab two weeks after she started and I kept holdin' onto that promise that she was comin' back. I was head over heels for the woman and I couldn't imagine that she didn't feel the same way." For some reason, I felt incredibly calm because besides the fact that we had lived together for a few months, I knew most of this. However, I was not prepared for him to let out a strangled sob and bury his heads in his knees… I was at a loss and I was gonna have to deal with this shit by myself this time. No Edward…no Doc…just me. Fuck. My heart was racing like I had just seen a ghost cuz this wasn't my father…this broken, pitiful man wasn't the hard assed bastard that I knew. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. "You said we lived together for three months…why'd you give me back to granny and re-enlist if you wanted me? You just didn't want me if mama wasn't included…" He sobbed quietly and never looked up, "I didn't know what to do…didn't know how to raise ya by myself…I was scared I was gonna fuck it all up. I was broken, son…your mama left me in pieces…" I was kinda stunned speechless. He sniffled a few times and wiped his eyes on his sleeve, "I had to leave…I was goin' insane waitin' on her to come back. So, I re-enlisted and left you with your granny. You seemed happier." And I couldn't help but ask, "We lived together for three months…do you have any good memories of me?"


He chuckled and looked out the window again, "I have a million, son…I bought you this little wooden guitar from a yard sale…you and me would sit on the front porch, listenin' to Hank Williams and singin' for hours…you made me paint your bedroom this horrible bright green cuz you said you missed the woods by your granny's house and that was your favorite color…and we'd always sit out on the porch every time it rained." He looked over at me and smiled…it was still a little creepy. "You were a good kid…funny, smart…but there were also times when you would cry for your granny and tell me you hated me…I should've realized that you were a confused little kid who had his whole world ripped out from underneath of him. But to be honest with you, son…it was just too much for me to take. I figured you were better off without me. When I went back to the military, I got lost in my job. It's easy when someone's giving you orders…when there's rules and procedures to follow…when I didn't have nobody guidin' me, I was left with my thoughts and I was at war with myself…with who I was and who I wanted to be…" He looked down at his hands, "I didn't wanna be this…every day I would think, 'I'm gonna get clean…I'm gonna fix this'…and every day I just…wouldn't. And before I noticed, you grew up without me and it was too late to fix anything. When I found out that your mama came back for you…I was jealous and hurt. I'm a selfish bastard but I resented that she wouldn't come back to me. And without something to focus on when I left the military, shit just got too fucked up and I started drinkin'. I was havin' all these nightmares about shit I had seen over in Iraq…" I never knew he was in Iraq and I found myself kinda interested. "What kinda shit did you see, dad?" He looked up at me a little surprised, "I don't think…it's not somethin' I ever really talked about before…" I sat down on the ground across from him with my back against the bunk on the other side of the cell, "Maybe you should." He looked out the window again as the moonlight flooded in. And he began telling me horrible things he had witnessed. I found myself completely fascinated by this side of him. I had never seen it before but Jeremiah had been tellin' me that it existed…I woulda called him a damn liar but I didn't forget that he was also an abusive asshole. It just made him a little more of a complex, abusive asshole. But as least I was finally startin' to understand him a little, even if he was all fucked up. And I realized that there was a reason behind the way people act and react…everybody had a fuckin' story.


After all the shit he told me, I was startin' to wonder if maybe there was more to it than him just being a sadistic fuck. "Hey dad? You said that you ain't ever really talked about this stuff before…have you ever heard of post traumatic stress syndrome?" He shook his head and looked at me, again surprised, "What's that?" I remembered back to all that research I had done, "It's an anxiety disorder that sometimes develops after exposure to an event that results in psychological trauma." Now he looked at me like I had two heads, "Huh? I have no idea what the hell you just said." I smiled as I thought about feelin' that exact same way when I first read it. "It just means that sometimes if you've dealt with some really fucked up shit…it can cause you to do shit you wouldn't normally do…it can cause a lot of nightmares or you might even see or hear somethin' that ain't really there…you can become violent…certain things can trigger it and alcohol abuse can intensify it. Let me ask you somethin', dad…before you re-enlisted, did you ever hit me?" I was really curious now because I felt like maybe I stumbled on somethin' useful. Not sayin' that ptsd would excuse my dad for his behavior…but at least it helped me understand and possibly be able to help. Because even if the asshole had put me through hell for as long as I could remember…there were things that I didn't remember that gave me a slight bit of hope that maybe he was worth tryin' to save. I mean, he did marry my mama and claim me as his own before he knew I really was. He looked out the window again and shook his head, "No…I'd get mad but I could control myself…I'd step outside for a smoke or somethin' while I calmed down. But when I came back and both of you were gone off together, I felt betrayed. I know I didn't have no right feelin' that way but I couldn't stop it. And then every time you came around…I'd see so much of myself when I was you're age and it pissed me off cuz I stayed outta your life and you still act just like me…bullheaded…arrogant…defiant little son of a bitch…" I kept my anger down because I knew that he was right, I was like him in a lot of ways…but I was a hell of a lot different too. Stronger. Braver.


I smiled, "You're right, dad…but you don't really know me either." He smiled back, "I reckon I don't…how'd you learn so much about that syndrome thing? That doctor teach you?" Might as well get all the shit out on the table. "No…I learned about it myself cuz Edward suffers from it." He looked away again and sat there for a minute before I heard him ask, "What happened to him?" I closed my eyes and wondered what he was doin' right now. "I can't tell, it's not my story. Let's just say that his shit makes your shit look tame and that's pretty fucked up." He grimaced and nodded as he looked back over to me, "Are you sure, son? Have you been with any girls yet? Have ya even tried?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "Yeah, dad, I've fucked a lot of girls…but you can't help who you fall in love with." He looked down and just stayed quiet for a little while before he finally mumbled, "I know that…I saw you fallin' apart when you two broke up…not that I knew it was a boy. But you fell apart just the same. God, it hurt to watch you cuz it was like walkin' around with a fuckin' mirror in my face all the damn time…I'm a fucked up man, I'll be the first to admit that shit…but I do not want you to end up like me. I'm fuckin' miserable." It was strange to see him so broken down and wide open…and strangely, I wanted to make him feel better…give him a little hope. "But you started rehab, right? The guard said that you've been sober for three weeks. You're a fuckin' Marine, dad…semper fi, do or die…you can totally do this shit." He laughed a little, "Yeah, maybe…" Then he was quiet again and I sat there for awhile before I spoke up, "I wanna move back to Washington. Peter is the old man whose farm I used to work on. He and his wife, Charlotte, kinda took me in a lot before mama left. He's a really good guy. He lost his only son, Nathan, in the war and Charlotte passed a few weeks ago. His health ain't that good and he needs someone to look after him…" He looked over now and laughed softly, "You've always done that, ya know…you've always looked after shit…I remember when you were four years old, you found this old turtle in the road with a crack in his shell, you brought him back home and put about a million GI Joe band aides on him…you spent


the evening watchin,' 'All Dogs Go To Heaven' with him and when you went to bed, I told ya I'd look after him. Of course, the next mornin' I told ya that you had taken such good care of him that he must've wandered off back to his home before you woke up." I laughed, "Did I believe you?" He smiled, "You never questioned me about it but you asked me if I thought that turtles went to Heaven. I told you that I did and you said you did too because animals had souls and people who didn't believe that, just weren't lookin' hard enough." He still needed to answer me, "Dad? I wanna go back to Washington." He sighed, "Son, the reason I gave up drinkin' was cuz you left and I wanted a chance to make things right. I'm sorry. I don't want you to go." I took a deep breath and kept my cool, "I understand that, dad, but this isn't about you. This is about what's best for me. You say you don't want me to be like you, well, here's your chance to prove it. Mama knew it…that's why she left me with the Cullen's. Because as fucked up as you and mama are, you're my parents and you both want what's best for me, even if you ain't what's best. I think distance would be good if you actually wanna try and fix this. I can forgive a lot of shit, dad, but to be honest, it's gonna take a lot of time and effort." He looked over at me, "Family's important, son." I nodded, "You're right, it is. And I promise that I'll keep in contact with you…I can even come down and visit on my breaks and shit. You can come visit me. I fuckin' need this, daddy…please." He sat there again, quiet. I waited and hoped that this shit would work cuz I really didn't want things to get ugly again. I was tired of fightin'. Eventually he sighed, "I wanna talk to them…get to know them a little bit. I can't just let ya run off with people I don't know nothin' about. I wanna sit down and talk with the adults…I know it's stupid considering…I'm sorry, son…I'm really sorry…" I shook my head, "That's not stupid, it's called being a concerned parent…it's a good thing." I felt like the weight of the world was bein' lifted off my shoulders because there was no way he could talk with Carlisle, Esme, and Peter and not believe that Washington was the best place for me.


I stood up and laid back down on that stupid cot. He looked out the window and was quiet again. I was just about asleep when I heard him mumble, "You never did tell me about your life…" I looked over and sleepily mumbled back, "You really wanna know?" He nodded, "Yeah…your mama wrote me a letter…told me all the shit she did…how she left you alone…screamed at you all the time…how she had fucked up too. She said you went and visited her…that you was gonna give her a chance to fix shit…that's good, Jasper. You're a better man than me cuz I don't know if I'd give us another chance if I were you. I wanna know who you are, son." I was a little confused still about this turn around and sighed, "Dad? I gotta know…what happened that caused all this shit cuz, honestly, you made a fag remark and tackled me to the fuckin' ground just hours ago…" He nodded again and looked out the window, "Yeah…I gotta work on mindin' the stupid shit I say when I'm mad…it's no excuse but…anyway, after we talked on the phone the last time, your Aunt Barb, Jeremiah, and Suzie all came over and told me what an asshole I was bein'…that you were a good kid and if I didn't change shit then you'd never have nothin' to do with the family as soon as you was able to. That's not what I want. You're my only son." Life is such a freaky bitch sometimes. I sat up and sighed, wishin' I had a cigarette, "Alright…" I told him everything I could remember about all the crap mama had put me through, about meeting Edward and his parents, Peter and Charlotte…about my friends and about James…I told him everything, even shit he probably didn't wanna know…like how I started fallin' for Edward and what Sarah did…he said he wanted to know me, then I wasn't gonna hold back shit. I don't remember fallin' asleep but the sound of the metal door unlocking, woke me up. The guard walked in, "Am I gonna have any more problems with you two?" I shook my head and rasped out, "No, sir." My dad shook his head, "No, Dave…we're good." Dave smiled, "Good. Now you two get your sorry asses outta here and don't come back. Wayne, I'll call you later and check in with ya, man." Dad nodded and we both stood and stretched before walking out of the cell. A few minutes later, we walked out and there was everyone, waitin' on me.


Em rushed my dad and I jumped in between them, "Calm down, dude…" He huffed and backed away. And then Edward turned around and I saw one of his pretty green eyes, surrounded by puffy purple bruises. Whoever hit him, was a dead fuckin' man. He smiled and I grabbed his arms as I tilted his chin so I could see the bruise better. "Who did this, Eddie?" He frowned now and looked down at the ground, "It doesn't really matter, Jay…it looks worse than it is." I shook my head, "Tell me." He sighed and looked up at me, "You didn't mean to…but when the fight broke out, we all ran to you but I'm the fastest so I got there first…" I felt all the wind leave my chest as I rasped out, "I hit you?" He nodded slowly, "Yes, but you didn't mean to. I don't think you even realized you did it…" My dad was right, I was like him and if I didn't change that shit and learn to control my emotions…I was gonna end up hurtin' the people I loved more than anything. And he still took up for me. I pulled him close and buried my nose in his neck, not caring about being in the middle of a police station with my dad standin' right next to me, "I'm sorry, Edward…I'm so fuckin' sorry…I swear it'll never happen again." He held me and whispered into my neck, "I love you, Jay. Everything's going to be alright." We all walked outside and then Carlisle, Esme, and Peter stood in front of my dad, "Mr. Whitlock, I'm Carlisle Cullen. Your son has become a part of my family and I will not leave him here in an abusive home for one more second. We are going to fight for his emancipation so that he can come back home to Washington, where he belongs." And then Esme reached up and smacked the shit out of my dad as she growled, "If you ever…ever, lay a hand on him again, I will make the Texas State Penitentiary seem like fucking Disneyland!" Jeremiah laughed and winked at Carlisle, "Got yourself a tiger there, Doc." Carlisle smiled and laughed.


My dad held up his hands as his eyes went wide, "Okay! Down, woman…shit…" I stepped over, "Me and my dad talked about a lot of stuff and he wants to talk to you, Carlisle, and Peter alone." Carlisle nodded, "Of course, son. Where shall we go?" I smiled, "I'm starvin'…can we go grab somethin' to eat?" He nodded, "Yeah, we can do that." My dad spoke up now, "There's this diner 'round the corner, they have good food and it's pretty quiet." Jeremiah put his hand on my dad's shoulder, "Cool, I'll ride with Uncle Wayne and we'll meet ya'll there." I crawled in the back seat of Carlisle's SUV and Edward grabbed my hand, bringin' my head down on his shoulder as he pulled his fingers through the curls, "Your dad agreed for you to come back home? What happened?" I smiled up at him, "I have no idea but I kinda feel like I witnessed a miracle." He smiled back at me, "Buddha said, 'I am the miracle.' I don't think you witnessed a miracle, Jay…I think you are the miracle." I sighed, "I don't know about that, babe…" He pulled my chin up to his and his green eyes sparkled, "You'll always be my angel, Jay, but that doesn't mean that you're not other people's angel too." I smiled and whispered, "Thanks, Eddie." He smiled back, "Anytime, Jay." I was nervous when we all started piling into the empty diner but I was hopeful too that maybe my dad could change. Maybe I could have some kind of relationship with him. Cuz if anyone could help someone come over to the good side, it was my little posse.


Chapter Forty-Six Playlist: The Lengths by The Black Keys and Good Ol' Boys by Lil Wyte (This is the song playing in Jeremiah's truck) Eddie's POV I was preparing for the worst and praying for the best. That was something my mother use to always say when I was waiting on my father to come home. Although my prayers were rarely answered back then…I seemed to be on a pretty lucky streak. I know, considering all of the trials we've experienced these last few years that it may not seem that way, but in the grand scheme of things, I was the luckiest guy I knew. I had more love than I thought my heart could ever hold. I had parents who chose me. I had Peter, who looked over me like a grandpa would do. I had all of my friends with their different personalities and strengths. I had Jay. And as I looked around the diner at all of them, I decided that maybe everyone had an angel meant especially for them…Peter had Charlotte…Mom has Dad…Rosalie has Emmett…and from the way Jeremiah was smiling at Alice and making her blush and giggle, I wouldn't completely dismiss the notion of something going on there. I was surrounded by an army of angels. Lovely… "Edward?" I was brought to by his hand squeezing my knee gently under the table. I looked up and smiled, "Yeah?" His baby blue eyes looked almost gray today and I could see the dark circles underneath them. He looked exhausted…I suppose a night in jail could do that. "You okay? You were spacin' off…" I shrugged and possibly blushed a little, "Oh, um…I'm fine. Are you okay?" His smile lit up his face and he nodded towards his dad, who was sitting on the other side of the diner with the grown ups. A waitress was pouring his coffee and he smiled up at her…he had dimples.


Jasper laughed, "I think my dad's havin' a mental breakdown…" I smiled, "Maybe he's having a breakthrough…" Jasper leaned on his elbows on the table and smiled softly, "How do you do that?" I looked at him in question, "Um…do what?" His blue gray eyes searched mine, "You always try and think the best of people…even when they don't give you any reason too…" He was looking at me like I was some sort of angelic creature and I couldn't stop the fire from rushing to my cheeks as I started playing with the straw in my orange juice, "Um…that's not really true…I didn't like Bella for a really long time…and, um…I still think Newton sucks…" He leaned across the table and whispered, "That fuckin' blush is killin' me, Edward…" Oh that's nice…I'm blushing even harder now…thanks, Jay… I looked down at the table and played with a napkin because my heart was already racing and I feared I wouldn't be able to stop myself from leaning over the table and claiming what was mine. But then I heard a loud smack and I lifted my eyes to see Jasper rubbing a red cheek and growling out, "What the fuck was that for?" Jeremiah laughed, "You got anger control problems, Cuz…a good hard smack every now and then might do ya some good…" Then he nudged me, "Bet you could help him out with that, huh, pretty boy?" I could feel my cheeks go up in flames as I looked down at the table. But then I saw Jeremiah dodge a biscuit flying by his head and heard Jay laugh, "Quit embarrassing my boyfriend, fucker." Then I looked up when I heard my mom's voice from across the restaurant, "Jasper, is that how we behave in a restaurant, dear? Go pick up the biscuit." Jay smiled as he stood, "Sorry, Esme." Jeremiah snickered and I heard my mom again, "Jeremiah, I was speaking to you too, darling. You boys act your age." Jeremiah had the decency to blush a little and duck his head, "Yes, ma'am."


Jay threw the biscuit away and sat back down as the waitress brought our food. Everyone ate their breakfast and chatted a bit but I kept an eye on our parents. Mom and dad seemed calm as Wayne spoke and Peter stared out the window. I worried about Peter. Wayne wasn't like I imagined. He was very tall, like Jay, but his arms were huge and he had a bit of a beer belly. He looked very strong yesterday but Jay did get the best of him. I really hoped he would let Jay come home. I felt him nudge my foot underneath the table so I looked over to his pale blue eyes. I noticed that he winced slightly and I prayed that my eye would heal soon because I knew that he felt bad about it. I smiled and whispered, "I'm fine, Jay." He narrowed his eyes and looked down at his plate, pushing the food around with his fork. Jeremiah stood up and said, "Hey Cuz, I'm goin' out for a smoke…wanna come?" Jay nodded and stood. I sighed and looked down, silently wishing that he would talk to me. "Hey Eddie, you comin'?" I look up with a huge grin, "Sure, Jay." We tell my parents that we're stepping out for fresh air and once we're outside, we step off to the side of the building. Jeremiah pulls out a cigarette and passes one to Jay. Then he offers me one but I just shake my head and politely say no thank you. They both light their cigarettes and I tell Jay that I'll keep an eye out for mom so he doesn't get busted smoking. After a couple drags, Jay finally speaks, "You're right, Cuz. I do have problems controllin' myself sometimes. I'm gonna talk to the Doc about it and see what I can do to fix it." Jeremiah nods, "You do that, Cuz. I'd hate to see you throw your whole life away like your daddy. You're too smart for that, Jay. If there's one person in this family that can change things, it's you. Don't fuck it up."


Jay nodded and his eyes flashed to mine briefly before looking away again. I resisted the urge to slide my fingertips across his cheek and into his honey curls. Instead I whispered, "Look at me." He let out a deep breath and lifted his pretty blue eyes to mine. I smiled softly, "I'm okay, Jay. You didn't mean to hit me…it's really not a big deal…" He narrowed his eyes and huffed, "Quit lettin' me off so damn easy, Edward. It is a big deal. There is never an excuse for me to hurt you…I don't care if I'm drinkin' or mad as hell or what…it's never okay. I mean, fuck, Edward…what if that was Alice? Or Esme? What if Peter would've gotten to me first? I can't keep makin' excuses for the stupid shit I do…I'm better than that. You deserve better than that." I furrowed my brows and looked down at the broken sidewalk beneath our feet. I sighed and raised my eyes to his. With a small smile, I spoke softly, "I wasn't excusing what you did, Jasper…I was just forgiving you for it. And I know I let you off easy sometimes but I feel like your life has been hard enough without me adding unnecessary worry. You're not an abusive or mean person…you messed up, yeah, but we all mess up sometimes. It's only a black eye, Jay, and I'm certain that you will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen again. You're kind of amazing like that." I grinned crookedly at him as I was rewarded with a breathtaking dimpled smile, "And you're really fuckin' beautiful, Eddie…" Jeremiah started laughing, "Holy shit…ya'll are cute as hell…" I broke my eyes from Jay's and looked down at the ground while a faint blush came to my cheeks. Just then, the restaurant door opened and my dad came out, walking over to us with a small smile. Jasper furrowed his brows as he took a drag and slowly exhaled, "You alright, Carlisle?" My dad nodded and looked around a moment before raising his eyes to meet ours, "Yes, son, I'm fine. I just wanted to…um…" He looked a little flustered as he drug his hand through his blonde hair, "I just wanted to talk to you boys a minute about something…" Jeremiah started to flip his cigarette out, "I'll let ya'll alone…"


My dad shook his head and put his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder, "That's okay, son, you don't have to leave." Jeremiah nodded and leaned against the building next to Jay. "First, I just want to let you boys know how proud I am of you. You're so strong and fearless…unlike most boys your age, hell, unlike most adults I know…but I do worry about your…lack of discretion…" I furrowed my brows and dad held up his hand, "Wait, son, let me finish." I nodded and looked down. "I know that you love each other very much and physical contact comes naturally between you two, however, I would like to ask that while in certain public situations, you utilize caution. Not everyone is understanding of what you share and I fear that your openness will lead to unwanted attention from…well, from the assholes who don't understand what real love is all about. I am, in no way, trying to push you back into the closet but I just worry for your safety. I know it's not fair, but as you saw at the carnival you boys visited earlier this summer, some people will try and hurt you…" I crossed my arms over my chest and furrowed my brows, "But, dad, we handled that okay…" He nodded, "You did, son, but what would have happened if you didn't? What if something would've happened to you and I was all the way back in Washington, unable to get to you? It's a horrible fact that people have been beaten half to death and even killed before in similar situations. You boys were lucky. I don't like it but the truth is that you are more susceptible to the wrath of people's ignorance than most couples. Because of this, I just ask that you be cautious of your surroundings…especially here…" Jeremiah cleared his throat and looked over at me with a smile, "Don't you worry, pretty boy…I'll make sure you have some alone time with your boy, okay? But you're daddy's right…it's like a whole different world down here and if Jay ends up stayin', the assholes 'round here don't need anymore ammunition against him." It wasn't that big of a deal that we behaved like friends in public…I mean, after all, we were best friends. I nodded, "Okay, dad." Jasper smiled, "We'll cool it, Carlisle…so how's it goin' in there?" Dad chuckled and took a deep breath before a tired smile pulled at the corner of his lips, "Well, Esme is currently showing your father your report cards and the


letters she had some of your teachers write on your behalf. I swear, that woman would make an excellent lawyer." Then he sighed and looked over at Jeremiah, "Can I get a cigarette, son?" My mouth dropped open as Jay smiled and Jeremiah handed him a cigarette and lighter. "Dad? You don't smoke." I reminded him because I can remember him going on and on about the effects of tobacco on our bodies. He slowly exhaled with a sigh, "You're right, I don't. Now watch the door for your mother…" I started to protest, "But dad…" He smirked, "Son, I smoke once or twice a month, nothing more. As foolish as it sounds, it does help to ease the tension. You must understand that your mother is never to know of this…I would never hear the end of it. Besides, it would be a shame if I let it slip that you snuck out and spent the night with Jasper your last night at home." My mouth dropped again as my eyes went wide. How the hell did he know about that? As if reading my mind, he laughed, "There were wet tracks from the bicycle tires in the garage when I went down to clean out the car. You must've just made it home. I didn't tell your mother because I remember what it's like to be 16. I figured the uncomfortable ride home on the tiny bicycle seat was punishment enough. By the way, I really don't like you sneaking out. It's very dangerous. You will always tell me before you leave the house because should I wake up again and not know where you are…I swear I will have Charlie place you on house arrest. Now watch the door." I grimaced, "Sorry, dad." He smiled, "Forgiven, son." I turned to watch the door while they chatted a little bit about Jeremiah's impending leave. He talked a lot about how he worries about his baby but he just didn't know what else he could do. He couldn't find a good job and only had his GED. He didn't see any other options. I respected Jeremiah. He was a genuinely good person who seemed totally brave and fearless…I supposed that maybe those traits ran deep in the Whitlock blood.


I briefly wondered how deep the Masen blood ran in me but shook away the thoughts as we all walked back inside. My mother was smiling so I took that as a good sign. She called Jasper over and I sighed as I turned to go back to our table, wishing that I had super sonic hearing so I would know what's going on. But I wasn't some super cool mythological creature…I was just an ordinary human being. Well, maybe not completely ordinary but still… "Hey Eddie, you comin'?" I raised my eyes up to see his face looking at me with a bit of confusion. I nodded, "Um, yeah." When I reached him, he whispered, "Hey, babe, have you taken your medicine today?" I thought about that a moment before I sighed and shook my head, "No, I forgot." He nudged my shoulder and smiled, "It's not a big deal, you can take it after we leave." I looked over at him and took a breath, "It is a big deal, Jay. I need to remember to take my medicine because it will only make me worse if I take it sporadically." I pulled out my phone and set my reminder alarm again, "When my alarm went off this morning, I was half asleep and thought for a moment you were calling. It made me mad so I turned it off and went back to sleep. I won't turn it off again." He sighed, "I'm sorry for makin' you worry about me…" I shrugged, "It's okay, Jay…" He smirked, "You really do let me off too easy, Eddie." I just smiled, "I'm kind of a low maintenance guy…um, apart from the whole 'crazy' thing." He laughed and rolled his eyes before nudging my shoulder and whispering, "I think you're the sanest person I know." I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "Sadly, that may be true, in your case."


We both laughed, the mood significantly lightened and my mission accomplished. I hated for Jay to be nervous because I could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Jasper was a very passionate, very strong person who could easily influence the moods of those around him. We pulled out chairs and sat down. I couldn't stop the way my stomach churned as the anxiety started trickling in. But I forced a smile anyway. After all, Jay did teach me how to act like everything's okay. Wayne cleared his throat and stared at his cup of coffee, "Son, I don't want you to go but I do want what's best for you. I know that it probably ain't a good idea for us to live under the same roof…we know how to push each other's buttons a little too good. If you wanted to stay, Peter offered to stay with you for awhile and get an apartment…" My mouth dropped open. I wasn't expecting that. Neither was Jay. He looked over at Peter with confusion, "Peter? I couldn't ask you to leave your home for me…" Peter smiled softly and looked out the window, "It's only an option, son. Truth is…it might do me some good to…get some space…distance…everything I see…everything I smell and touch…I feel her everywhere. I can't…think of anything else…but I gotta try…gotta see you boys graduate and go off to college. I promised Charlotte I'd make it till you were grown. I intend on keepin' my promise." Wayne sighed and played with the spoon in his coffee, "So, like Peter said, Texas is an option. But I figured that you damn near raised yourself and you done a pretty good job so maybe I oughta back off and let you do what you think's best. I'd really like for you to stay, son…but the choice is yours. If you wanna go back to Washington, I won't try and stop you." I couldn't believe it…Jay was coming home. He was in shock as he just looked at his dad in disbelief. I nudged his knee to get his attention and he turned his baby blues to me and smiled widely, "Holy shit, I'm comin' home." I laughed and resisted the urge to kiss those smooth pink lips of his, being cautious of my surroundings and all. But I did squeeze his thigh under the table which earned me a sly smirk and a whispered, "Later."


Wayne smiled but it didn't reach his eyes, "I better get goin' on home now…Carlisle here says that ya'll will stay a few days…till Jeremiah leaves on Tuesday. Your Aunt Barb is havin' a barbecue tonight and wanted all of ya to come…meet the family. Hope to see ya there." He got up and walked away. Jeremiah ran outside and They were talking as Jay went over and told everyone shrieked and practically jumped on him. Rose even gave Emmett was already talking about their football team this

caught up with him. the good news. Alice him a quick hug and year.

Peter was staring off out the window again and mom and dad were looking into each other's eyes and smiling, not saying a word…but not really needing to. Jeremiah eventually walked back in, wearing a smile that also did not quite reach his eyes. He walked up and pulled Jay into a one arm hug/back pat thing and said, "Goin' back to Washington, huh? Good for you, Cuz." Jay sensed something, I could tell by the way he whispered, "What's up, Cuz?" Jeremiah just shook his head and broke into a dimpled grin, "Nothin', man, 'cept I'm dog-ass tired and mama's preparin' a barbecue which means she's gonna put my ass to work the second I walk in the door…" Jay laughed and my mom and dad walked up. "Well, we're going back to the hotel for a bit, maybe take a nap, it was a long night." My dad spoke with a yawn and he really did look worn out. Jay smiled, "A shower and sleep sounds so good right now." Esme smiled, "Jeremiah, dear, would you like to come back with us for awhile? You know there's plenty of room for you to take a nap. You were up all night too." Jeremiah grinned, "Thanks, mama bear…I think I'll take ya up on that." My parents walked on ahead of us and I noticed the smirk in the corner of his mouth as he looked down at Alice. She was blushing a bit but looking up at him with a beautiful smile. They spent a lot of time together last night, talking. Jeremiah had stayed all night with us at the hotel. We all camped out in one of the rooms and hung out. Mom, dad, and Peter went to sleep eventually but the rest of us stayed up. Jeremiah was fiercely loyal to his family because that was all he ever had. He didn't know who his father was and his half-sister, Suzie's, father left when he


was three. The only people that had been there for him were his mom and his Uncle Wayne. Apparently, Wayne had helped him out of some trouble he got in a few years ago when their other cousin went to prison for stealing cars. He had been trying to walk the straight and narrow ever since that scare. It was hard on him but when Jasper came back, he said it gave him someone to look after so that helped keep him busy and focused. He had tried with Suzie but she was getting so out of hand, he didn't know how to reach her. But Jasper had been doing well so it gave him hope that he could do well too. Jasper was more important to people's lives than he ever realized. Once we reached the hotel; mom, dad, and Peter went back to their room, Rosalie and Emmett went to their room, and that left me, Jay, Alice, and Jeremiah in the last room. There were two queen sized beds in the room. Jeremiah kicked off his shoes and fell into one of the beds. Then he patted the spot next to him and smiled at Alice, "C'mon, baby girl, I don't bite…I just nibble..." She laughed as she crawled up next to him. They were on top of the blanket, fully clothed but when she laid her head on the pillow and he wrapped his arms around her, it seemed very intimate. I heard him whisper, "Is this okay?" She smiled and nodded. Jay just shook his head, "I'm gonna go take a shower, babe." I nodded and crawled into the other bed, after kicking off my shoes. I quickly took my medicine and then laid my head down. I was out before Jasper even came to bed. I woke up, some time later with Jay's strong arms wrapped around me and his hard length pressed against my ass…his breath on my ear and soft curls against my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Alice and Jeremiah still asleep and cuddled up. I smiled and snuggled back into Jay's chest for a minute before looking at the clock and figuring we had better get up. I turned my head and whispered, "Jay? Wake up, baby…"


He groaned and shook his head. Then his rough voice barely broke through, "Don't wanna…five more minutes, baby boy…" He tightened his arms around me and I couldn't help but give in as I closed my eyes again. I was awoken the next time by a knock on the door and my dad's voice, "Boys, it's time to wake up." I jumped from bed and stumbled to the door, realizing that Jeremiah and Alice were already gone. I pulled open the door and yawned as I nodded, "Okay, we're up. Where's Alice and Jeremiah?" "Emmett gave Jeremiah a ride home about an hour ago. I believe the girls are getting ready for the barbecue. You boys need to get ready, we'll be leaving in about half an hour." I nodded again and he walked away as I shut the door. I crawled on top of my sleeping angel and buried my nose in his honey curls, breathing him in before I whispered, "Wake up, love." He groaned as his hands slid up my thighs to my ass and squeezing it as he rocked his hips up into mine, "Wanna fuck?" My cock most definitely wanted to fuck…but we were leaving in half an hour and I had to get ready…I mean, I was meeting a lot of his family for the first time. I wanted to make a good impression. I raised my head and kissed the tip of his nose, "Sorry, Jay, but we're leaving in half an hour. We need to get ready." I started to raise up when he pulled me back down. His fingers wove into my hair and pulled my lips to his. I wanted to protest but then his tongue was in my mouth and his soft moan resonated through my body. He rolled us over, our bodies tangled in the sheets and him in-between my legs, pressing me into the mattress… I held onto him like an anchor…and he was. He was my anchor to the real world…and such an incredible lover that I didn't need to live in a fantasy world.


Reality was much, much better. I felt his chest heaving against mine as we kissed each other breathless. He eventually broke away and nipped at my bottom lip, "You give me 15 minutes, pretty boy‌I can give you that freshly fucked look a helluva lot better than any fuckin' gel." I smiled and he looked up at me with a dimpled grin, "Wanna fuck now?" I laughed and nodded, "Yeah, we have to hurry though." He sat up on his knees and smiled, "Down and dirty, it is." And then he was pulling me up on my knees to face him, tearing my shirt over my head before attacking my lips. I moaned into his mouth as I reached for the bottom of his shirt, breaking the kiss briefly to yank it over his head and toss it somewhere. Eager hands were pushing and pulling, as clothes went flying with reckless abandon. Our naked bodies were pressed together as he leaned back onto the bed, reaching for the lube in the nightstand drawer. He kissed my lips softly and whispered, "Now, do ya wanna fuck or do you wanna be fucked?" I moaned against his lips, grabbing the lube and squeezing a little in my hand before reaching down and stroking his long, hard cock. "Fuck me, Jay," I whispered breathlessly. I loved fucking Jasper but in all honesty, I think I loved him fucking me more. I loved the way he took control of my body, so powerful and strong but gentle and caring. I trusted him with my body more than I trusted myself. He moaned and bit his lip as he fucked my slick hand while his now wet finger began pushing into my hole. The stretch and burn of his fingers inside of me had me rocking into him, eager for more. I opened my eyes to see his burning into mine, half lidded and dark. He whispered breathlessly, "Ya ready, baby?" I nodded and he eased out his fingers while I let go of his gorgeous hard cock.


Within moments, my knees were hooked over his arms as he started pushing into me slowly but steadily until I gasped and he was fully seated. He stilled for a moment until I finally opened my eyes and moaned, "Fuck me, baby…hard and fast…" He clenched my thighs between his fingers as his held me tight and just started drilling me. I was being fucked senseless as my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open, unable to formulate anything past grunts. The force of his body hitting mine sent shock waves through my body. Each slap of my ass against his thighs and his very long dick filling me completely, hitting my sweet spot over and over was quickly bringing me to the edge. My hand was wrapped around my cock but I couldn't focus enough to stroke it. And then he let go of my legs and pressed me into the mattress, taking my lips as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed up to somehow draw him even deeper. He growled into the kiss as his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me harder to meet his every thrust. I could feel every muscle in his stomach contracting and sliding against mine, trapping my cock between them. My hands slid around to his ass, clenching it between my fingers, urging him to fuck me harder…if such a thing were possible. He broke from the kiss with a low moan as his head fell on my shoulder. He whispered, "I love fuckin' your ass, Edward…you're so god damn tight…you feel so fuckin' good around my dick…I'm gonna cum so mother fuckin hard inside you, baby…" I could feel the fire burning in the pit of my stomach and my toes begin to curl. I loved when he talked dirty. I was so close… "Don't you dare fuckin' come…I'm gonna cum first inside your ass…then I'm gonna suck you off…" I bit my lip and squeezed his ass tight as he bit my shoulder. His thrusts became erratic as he moaned and shuddered as he came deep inside of me.


I gasped when he withdrew and quickly slid down my body, taking my throbbing cock down his throat, swallowing around it as his tongue slid all around. Within seconds my hands were tangled in his dampened honey curls, holding his head as my body finally gave in and I erupted down his warm, wet throat. We laid there a minute and I started to drift off when Jay chuckled, "Come on, babe…we got about ten minutes to get ready." I jumped up, "Shit!" He laughed as he walked in the bathroom behind me and we both proceeded to take, what he called a "whore bath." We washed our private areas and stuff and then brushed our teeth. He smiled as I pulled on my shirt, "Your hair really does look good." I laughed as I looked in the mirror, "You're right…you're much better than hair gel." We made our way down the stairs and out into the parking lot. Everyone was there, including Wayne and Jeremiah who had both driven. Wayne was talking to my mom and dad as Jasper and I walked up. Mom smiled up at Jay, "Your dad offered to drive us over to your Aunt's house." Wayne shrugged and smiled a little, "I'm the designated driver…" Jasper smiled, "That's good, dad, but you know how much liquor Aunt Barb has…are you gonna be okay?" Wayne scratched at the whiskers on his chin and sighed, "It ain't gonna be easy but nothin' ever really is…I'll be alright, son. Semper fi and all that shit." Jeremiah walked over with his trademark grin that always made his eyes crinkle in the corners as the sparkled with mischief. "Eddie, Jay, ya'll are ridin' with me. Alice, Rose, and Em are gonna follow us." Mom, dad, Peter and Wayne piled into his extended cab truck while we all got ourselves situated. Jeremiah had a big black truck and I gulped when Jay motioned for me to get in first. I sat there as Jay slid next to me on one side and Jeremiah on the next. It wasn't entirely unpleasant being sandwiched in-between the two of them.


There's something seriously wrong with me… I blushed at my thoughts and jumped a little when the truck roared to life, the cab vibrating with the bass of his music. Jay laid his arm across the seat behind me and teased the hairs on the back of my neck. I broke out into goose bumps and he just grinned at me. Jeremiah pulled up next to Em's Jeep and turned down the music, "Yo Em, ya'll follow me…" Then he smiled at Alice in the back seat, "Did'ja miss me?" She rolled her eyes and laughed, "I saw you an hour ago." He smirked, "You didn't answer my question, baby girl…did'ja miss me? Were ya thinkin' bout me?" Oh my God, Alice is blushing… She smiled as she kicked Rosalie's seat in front of her, Rose laughing hysterically at her. "Maybe a little…" He smirked, "Just a little, huh…damn, I've been thinkin' bout you since the moment I left…" Now she smirked, "Well maybe you should've asked me to ride with you." He just grinned, "Don't you worry now, baby doll…I'll take you for a ride later." Then he winked and turned his music back up before pulling out of the parking lot. Jay reached over and turned the music down, "Cuz, I love you, man…but don't hurt Alice. She's a good girl…" Jeremiah rolled his eyes, "What? Am I a bad guy or somethin'?" Jay sighed, "That's not what I meant, Jeremiah…" Jeremiah chuckled and pulled out a cigarette, "You're entirely too uptight, Cuz…I like Alice but she knows I'm leavin' in a couple days. I don't gotta lie to get a girl to fuck me, Jay…Alice is a big girl and if she lets me fuck then I'm gonna fuck…and if she lets me write her while I'm gone, I might do that too. She knows I'm not lookin' for a relationship…she ain't either so we're just havin' some fun."


Then he smirked, "Besides, as petite as that girl is…I can break off some crazy acrobatical type shit, son…" Jay laughed and shook his head, "You're so full of shit, Cuz…" Jeremiah nudged me, "You know what I'm talkin' bout, huh pretty boy? Us Whitlock's, we ain't all that successful or wealthy and shit…but we look good and we rock the cock in the bedroom…it's like our legacy and shit…" I blushed but then realized that I was getting ready to meet all of Jasper's relatives at a barbecue in Texas…I had better toughen up a little bit. I took a deep breath and smiled over at Jay, "He's right, Jay. Alice is a grown woman and who are you to deny her chance at experiencing the Whitlock legacy?" Jay laughed and just shook his head, "Fine, I'll back off." Jeremiah smiled and took a drag of his cigarette, "Eddie, my man…you got mad skills yo…" I laughed. What in the hell is he talking about? He smiled, "Fo sho…" Now Jay laughed, "You high, Cuz?" Jeremiah snorted a little then tried to hide it with a cough, "Maybe a little." Then he reached up and tousled my hair while he grinned at Jay, "Your hair looks good by the way, Ed…Jay did good, huh?" I fought a blush as Jasper laughed, "Don't you worry, Cuz…I hold it down for the Whitlock's just fine…" Jeremiah laughed then he handed Jay his cigarette pack, "I got a blunt roach in there if ya'll wanna toke up 'fore family time and shit…" Jay looked at it for a second before passing it back to him, "No, we're good right now, Cuz. I don't think we need to be all fucked up in front of Esme, Carlisle, and Peter." I squeezed his knee a little to let him know I thought that was a good decision and I was proud of him.


Jeremiah shrugged, "That's cool but ya'll are gonna get fucked up with me tonight, right? I already talked to your daddy bout ya'll stayin' the night…we got a keg and shit but I didn't tell your daddy that…" I looked over at Jeremiah with a crooked smile, "My dad said we could stay the night?" He laughed, "Yup…ya'll can have my room cuz as long as I got a roof over my head, you will always…always, have a place to fuck. That's what family's all about…and shit…" I could've kissed Jeremiah…but quickly realized that was quite inappropriate. Because he was family…and family wasn't made of flesh and bone but of heart and soul…and apparently, family always gave you a place to fuck.


Chapter Forty-Seven Jay's POV As we pulled up in front of Aunt Barb's house, I felt my stomach drop as reality hit me and I realized that Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were about to meet my whole damn family. Of course, I knew that the Cullen's would never judge me for anything my family did but I worried that it might be one hell of a culture shock for them. Cuz in my family, we cussed like truckers, drank like fish, and had no fuckin' verbal filter, whatsoever. It didn't surprise me to hear the house already thumping with country music. The 'rents were already there and Carlisle was helping Peter out of the truck. I looked over at Edward and let out a breath, "You ready for this?" Scarlet already colored his cheeks but he took a deep breath and nodded, "Um…yeah…I think…" Smiling, I squeezed his thigh in reassurance, "Don't worry, babe, I'm sure they're gonna love you…" God damn mother fuckers better be good to him… A smile tugged at the corner of his cherry lips, "I want them to like me, Jay, but it's really only important that you like me." Resisting the urge to lock my fingers into his freshly-fucked hair and shove my tongue halfway down his throat for being such a sweet little fucker, I just whispered, "Well, I love you, Eddie. Thanks for doin' this." The conviction his pretty green eyes held caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand up as he whispered back, "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Jasper…" There were just no words for the way that boy made me feel…but I had to reign that shit in cuz we were gettin' ready to walk into the belly of the beast… A.K.A. Whitlock family barbecue But I didn't come this fuckin' far and go through so much shit for these mother fuckers to break me…


Taking one last deep breath, I smiled, "Let's go." We all piled out of the truck and were joined by Em, Rose, and Ali. We walked in the front gate and Jeremiah smiled, "Well, c'mon, ya'll, follow the music." We followed dad and Jeremiah 'round to the back of the house. My cousins Ethan and Caleb were here with a couple of girls. Suzie was sitting on a lawn chair next to granny Whitlock and she broke out into a huge grin when she saw us. A minute later she was runnin' up to us and surprised me when she threw her arms around my waist and gave me a quick hug. She pulled back and smiled, "Hey Jay, thank God ya'll finally got here…I've been havin' to entertain granny and ya know what a hateful ol' bag she is..." I knew exactly what she meant, in fact, my granny was really the only one I was really worried about here. I had only actually met her a handful of times but she was old school. She was 79 years old and hateful as the day is long. The only thing I knew of for certain about my granny was that she didn't discriminate against no one…she hated everybody equally. A nudge brought me from my worries as Suzie eyed Edward with a smirk on her face, "So, ya gonna introduce me, ya rude bastard, or have you forgotten all your southern boy manners already?" See…no verbal filter. I laughed, "Well, it's a good thing you haven't lost your ladylike southern charm, Suzie Q…" She giggled and sighed, "Shit, Jay…it's too bad you're goin' back up north, it woulda been pretty cool to have you around when I start high school this year…" I felt kinda bad so I just went to introductions. She laughed as she eyed everyone with child like curiosity and awe, "Wow…I don't know what they're puttin' in the water up there in Washington but ya'll are pretty as a picture..." She twirled her long hair around her fingers shyly as she looked up at Rosalie, "Your hair is so beautiful…" Then she looked at Alice who she actually stood a few inches taller than, "And those are the cutest shoes I have ever seen…"


You could see the light in Alice's eyes at the mention of her shoes, "I just love these shoes! I got them at this little boutique in Italy two years ago. Which reminds me, where's the closest mall because I really have to get some boots while I'm here. Oh, we should go shopping together, have you gone back-toschool clothes shopping yet?" Suzie looked down and shrugged, "Um, no, but we really don't have the money this year…" Without even thinking, I bent down and whispered, "Yeah, ya do…" She looked up at me in confusion and I just smiled, "Don't worry about it, I got a little extra and besides, nobody shops like Alice does, you'll be in good hands." The Texas sun must've completely melted that Ice Queen exterior away as Rosalie smiled warmly, "Why don't we make a girls day out of it, maybe see if Esme and your mom would like to go?" Alice bounced, "Yes, that sounds like so much fun! How about tomorrow? We could get our hair and nails done and then grab some lunch and…" Knowing that Suzie had likely never met anyone as hyper as my little pixie friend, I laughed at the look on her face as she tried to keep up, "Reign it in, Ali…you're goin' way too fast for country folk." She rolled her eyes at me and Suzie looked down as she mumbled, "I'll never look as pretty as ya'll do…" Jeremiah stepped forward and bent down to look up at her, "Girl, you're a mother fuckin', Whitlock, and we don't ever look down for nobody…" Then he laughed as he put her in a headlock, giving her one hell of a noogy, "Cuz when ya look down, ya can't see what's comin'…" She fought back against him, laughing as she broke free and smacked him in the back of the head. She started running her fingers through her hair to straighten out the tangled waves as she laughed, "You're such an asshole, Bubby." He smiled, "Yeah." Then she blushed and bit her lip as she whispered, "Thanks for the money, Jay." The money really didn't mean shit to me…I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be nice not to struggle so much but really…I already had everything I needed. Except maybe a truck…


And besides, I knew that Alice and Rosalie could help her pick out clothes that made her look a little more…classy. I figured a little time with them might be good for her because Suzie lacked confidence, that's why she dressed and acted the way she did…she figured it was the only way to get anyone to notice her. "Hey ya'll…" I turned my head to see Aunt Barb walking up, "Suzie, darlin, go get your granny some iced tea…" Suzie nodded, "Okay, mama…it was nice to meet ya'll, I'll talk to ya later…" She ran off and thankfully, Jeremiah took over introductions. Sticking out his hand to my aunt, Carlisle smiled, "The food smells wonderful, Barbara, thank you for inviting us. It's so nice to meet you." Barb blushed, apparently no one is immune to Daddy C's charm, "Oh, well it weren't no trouble at all, there's plenty of food…fried chicken and barbecued ribs, so ya'll just make yourselves at home." Jeremiah started fishing around in the cooler before grabbing two beers, popping the top off one and taking a long pull as he instinctively tossed me the other one, "Heads up, Cuz." I caught it with wide eyes as I looked at Esme and sighed while I handed the bottle to Carlisle, "Thanks, but we're under 21 and it's illegal for us to drink." I wanted to kick my own ass for sounding like such a douche but Esme and Carlisle's opinion of me was important. Edward, Emmett, and the girls tried to stifle their laughter and Carlisle chuckled under his breath as he took a drink of the beer. I gave Jeremiah a glare and he just shrugged, "Eh…I'm sort of a rebel…" Barb rolled her eyes, "Mind your manners, son…" Jeremiah grabbed another beer and smiled, "Sorry, mama…Esme, Peter, would ya'll like a beer?" I seriously wanted to face palm myself but I just closed my eyes and shook my head instead. Esme's light hearted laughter surprised me, "A beer would be wonderful, thank you, darling. This heat is really something."


Jeremiah handed her a beer and I watched as she and Carlisle clanked their bottles and took a long draw. Peter wiped his brow with his handkerchief, "No, thank ya, son…" I went over to him, "How 'bout some iced tea, Peter?" He nodded, "That'd be nice, son." The heat was getting to him and I wanted to get him into the shade, "Well, c'mon, let's go find you a place to sit and I'll make your plate for ya…" There were some scattered plastic lawn chairs and an old picnic table so everybody dug right in and found a place to sit, easily chatting it up with Barb and my dad. I realized that they were all around the same age and they seemed to be getting along well. Caleb and Ethan hadn't spoken to me so I figured they weren't being as open minded as everyone else seemed to be. The were playing corn hole with their girlfriends in the back of the yard and wouldn't even look in my direction. Well, and then there was granny Whitlock. This woman might be the downfall of this whole damn thing. She was sitting under the shade tree, clutching onto her Bible with her lips pursed together tightly. My dad eventually got up and went over to sit with her. It didn't take long to see the anger etched on both of their faces as they began arguing about something. Daddy was tryin' to keep it quiet but that old woman had a voice that could break glass and rivaled the annoyance of fingernails scratching down chalkboards. I knew everyone heard her as she screeched out, "It just ain't right, son! You shouldn't be defendin' him, you oughtta be beatin' the fear of God back into that boy!" I looked down at the table as I felt my anxiety rise, my cheeks flush and my whole body bursts into flames…or at least I wish it would. I could defend myself against bigger guys and older men…but how the hell do you defend yourself against a 79 year old woman? Daddy's words fell on deaf ears as she continued to call me out in front of everybody. "Layin' with another man is a sin! That's why God gave them perverts Aids and diseases, cuz they gotta suffer for their sins!" Edward nudged my foot and I looked at him, feeling the strange calm of his ease begin to wash over me. He didn't look embarrassed or mad or anything…in fact, he gave me a small crooked grin before standing up and walking over towards my granny.


Anxiety crashed over me in waves as I just watched, feeling completely helpless, as he walked over to try and reason with the devil incarnate. "Excuse me, Mrs. Whitlock…" She scowled at him, "What do you want?" The tell-tale signs of anxiety also began to rise in Edward as he ran his fingers through his crazy hair and blew out a huff of air. But then he drew a breath in and raised his head…he was nervous but he tried valiantly not to show it. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "Um…the bible says that, 'suffering produces endurance, and endurances produces character, and character produces hope'…Romans, chapter 5, verses 3 and 4." The disgust on her haggard face was blatantly evident as she wrinkled her nose up and cackled, "I think I know the bible better than you do, boy…I live my life by it…" Confidence and passion just rolled off my boys tongue as he smiled that cocky crooked grin that always tells me he's ready to debate… "Good, then you know of Luke chapter 6, verse 36, 'Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful'…or Matthew 7:1, 'Judge not, that ye not be judged…and Ephesians 4:29, 'Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is good for giving necessary teaching, and for grace to those who give ear'…" Granny was turnin' ten shades of red as we all watched in horror as someone actually dare to challenge her ancient opinions. But what my poor boy didn't know was that there was a long runnin' joke in our family that when the end of the world came around…the only thing left would be the cock roaches and granny Whitlock. The old lady was tough as nails and stubborn as a barn yard mule. Eddie had one hell of a fight on his hands…but I was hopeful that he'd win. And even if he didn't win with granny, the little fucker won with me. Hatred rolled off her bitter tongue as she spat, "Just cuz you memorized a few bible verses to help sell your evil deeds, don't think you can fool a good ol' Christian woman like me. I know the Good Book like the back of my hand, raised on it 'fore I could even read the words…you're the devil's plaything, boy…a filthy, perverted little creature and all o'ya'll are gonna burn in hell for your sins…" Several things happened at once…Edward cringed a bit, Esme and Carlisle were out of their chairs, daddy was yellin, "That's enough, mama!", and I was already at Edward's side, ready to tell the ol' bitch to save me a seat since she'd be in hell long before I would.


But before I could open my mouth, Edward was shaking his head at all of us and steeling himself, "It's okay, please let me handle this." Reluctantly, I backed off but I swear to God if that hateful ol' cunt spouts off at the mouth one more mother fuckin' time… Taking a moment to gather himself, his confidence returned as he looked down into her cold, gray eyes, "You're right, the bible does say that homosexuality is a sin but not an unforgivable one. It also says 'for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.' And Mark chapter 7 says, 'Because from inside, from the heart of men, come evil thoughts and unclean pleasures. The taking of goods and of life, broken faith between husband and wife, the desire of wealth, wrongdoing, deceit, sins of the flesh, an evil eye, angry words, pride, foolish acts: All these evil things come from inside, and make the man unclean.' Do you really hold yourself in the same regard as your Heavenly Father, Mrs. Whitlock? Sin free?" Words seemed to fail her for a moment as she gaped at him, for once in her long ass life, finally being shocked speechless. The pride I felt for my beautiful strong boy as he stood up for us was overwhelming. My anxiety was replaced with his conviction as he continued to make my granny shut the hell up and listen. "The bible tells us that we are born of a sin nature, inherited through the original sin of man when Adam and Eve were thrown out of the Garden of Eden for eating from the tree of knowledge. So now, man kind has knowledge of good and evil. Hatred is one of the things we learned when we fell from grace. Humility…shame…anger…spiteful words…the desire to hurt others…those are all tools the devil uses to make it seem ok to do evil…to justify it…so it seems that perhaps he plays with us all at some point in our lives. But I will not let evil words or unfair judgments take away my self worth. I would rather be hated for what I am, than loved for something I am not. James 4:17 says that a man who has knowledge of how to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin…you know that hate and angry words are sinful yet you cannot hold your tongue…" She finally snapped and screeched out, "Who the hell do you think you are?" I wanted to laugh as he smiled and held out his hand, "I'm Edward Cullen, ma'am…your grandson's best friend. And I, also, know the bible like the back of my hand and 1st Peter says, 'Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.' So, as Jasper's grandmother, your love for him should over shadow your hatred of his sin and you should at least be hospitable towards him." The irritation on her face was priceless as she turned her nose up at his outstretched hand and crossed her arms across her chest like a bratty child, "I don't want nothin' to do with a faggot…I'm right about this, I know what the bible says and you ain't gonna convince me otherwise…"


Edward sighed, "I say to you, It is not so: but if your hearts are not changed, you will all come to the same end, Luke 13:3." If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I woulda never believed how fast that old lady jumped up out of her chair, waving the cane around that she obviously didn't need, as she stomped off screaming obscenities and orderin' my daddy to take her home and away from these sick people. Edward's eyes went wide as he looked over at my dad, who was clearly embarrassed and mad as hell all at the same time. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Whitlock! I didn't mean to…" Dad cut him off with a deep sigh, "Stop apologizin', son, it ain't your fault. Mama's meaner than a rattlesnake. Well, I'll be back in a while…" After he walked off, Edward turned to my aunt Barb and started apologizing again. She sat stone silent for a moment, apparently still in shock before finally breaking out into a fit of laughter, "Ho-ly shit, son! I ain't never seen no one put mama in her place like that!" The guilt was weighing on him as he shook his head, "No, it was disrespectful of me to do that in your home, but I swear, I honestly had no intention of making her leave…I just thought that maybe I could talk it out…" That caused Suzie, Jeremiah, and even Caleb and Ethan to join aunt Barb in her laughter. After a moment, Barb walked over and patted Edward on the shoulder, "Oh, honey, there just ain't no talkin' with that old woman…the only person that's ever been able to shut her up was daddy and he died a long time ago. Now, don't get me wrong, I love mama…it's just that I don't like her very much. It's about time someone stood up to her…I just try and ignore her as long as possible and Wayne tells her to shut the hell up, but she don't listen. But I ain't ever seen her stomp away from an argument like that. You sure got her good. You might be my new hero." The embarrassment of that old bitch's tirade still lingered but it was over shadowed by the pride I felt for Edward. I could feel it coming from everyone else too. He was amazing. All my life, every battle I ever fought, was with my fists…not my words. He kept his cool and never lost control, he stayed strong and debated his argument perfectly. I needed to learn how to do that…use my words. Carlisle put his hand on Edward's other shoulder and glowed with pride, "I'm so proud of you, son. You handled that beautifully. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, there are some people who just will never accept you and try to bring you down. You didn't let her words shake you…it's simply amazing the leaps and bounds you've grown these last few years. You've learned that some people are going to hate you for no reason at all and you're not going to be able


to change that because they don't want to change, but the important thing is that you don't let anyone de-value who you are…" Now he put his other hand on my shoulder and squeezed, "Because both of you are incredible people and I feel so extremely blessed to be a part of your lives." Esme pulled Edward into a big hug and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, sweetheart, for having your dad's patience because you saved your poor mom the embarrassment of doing something very ugly to that old woman." That's when I realized that somewhere deep down inside, Esme was a little ghetto, like me. She was the hot-headed one while Carlisle was the quiet, peace maker…kinda like me and Eddie. Everyone just gathered around and ate some more as they talked for awhile. Emmett spoke up as he took a break from stuffing his face, "You know, Jay, with a mother like that, for your dad to accept everything the way he has, he must be trying awfully hard to change." I nodded and Barb smiled, "Well, I ain't gonna lie, son…it's not been easy for him. We just weren't expecting it. I mean, every time Jasper used to come visit, you couldn't beat the girls off him with a stick. But me and Wayne promised each other a long time ago that we'd try and raise our kids different. We're not that old, ya know. The world we grew up in is a lot different than mama's world. And her and daddy both were just so judgmental…when I was in high school, I dated outside my race once and they kicked me out of the house. Wayne took up for me but he was 13 so weren't much he could do. Anyway, the relationship didn't last and I stayed with a friend. When I had Jeremiah, mama wouldn't even come to see him, till she knew for sure he wasn't mixed. She's a mean old lady and I'm afraid that sometimes me and Wayne act just like her…but we don't wanna be that way so even if your daddy messes up again, son, know that he's tryin' and please don't give up on him." I realized that daddy should've probably been back at the barbecue by now, but he wasn't. I hoped he wasn't off drinkin' somewhere but I promised Barb that I wouldn't give up too easily and I'd do everything I could to try and help. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ethan and Caleb walking over to us. I just stood there and waited while they fidgeted and scratched at their hair, quite obviously nervous. Eventually, Ethan let out a huff of air and nodded at Edward, "Hey, how ya doin'? I'm Jay's cousin, Ethan." Caleb never said a word but Ethan introduced his self to everyone and said they'd meet up with us later tonight at the bonfire. Jeremiah's loud ass voice rang out and broke the still lingering tension in the air, "Who wants to play corn hole?"


I heard Edward start coughing and looked up to see his face was blood red as he drank down a whole glass of lemonade. I furrowed my brows, "You okay, dude?" He nodded as his face seemed to even get redder. What the hell could he be embarrassed about? Jeremiah walked up and smacked Edward on the back, "I know you wanna play corn hole with me, huh, Ed?" Edward's eyes got wide and it finally clicked to me what was going on. I answered for him, "We'll play later, Cuz…but you could keep an eye on Esme for me so I can sneak out front and smoke a cigarette?" I smiled and he rolled his eyes, "Go on, man…" I motioned for Edward to join me as I watched Jeremiah go up to Carlisle, "You up for some corn holin', Doc?" Esme started chuckling and Aunt Barb rolled her eyes, "Good Lord, Jeremiah…" He started laughing and tried to look innocent, "What? It's a game! Ya'll are a bunch of perverts…" Now, Esme started laughing hysterically as everyone joined in. Then she stood up and grabbed the bean bag from Jeremiah's hand as she dead panned, "I'll have you know that I am the corn hole queen of Chicago." Edward looked kinda horrified as he followed me around to the front of the house. Once we reached the front porch, I pulled out a square and lit up. I leaned against the brick wall and Edward leaned next to me. My cheeks hurt, I was smiling so damn big, "First off, I really gotta know what kinda porn you been watchin' that makes you turn that damn red at the mention of corn hole…" He blushed even deeper and looked down at his feet, "I don't know what you're talking about…" I smirked, "Right…anyway, corn hole's a game where ya throw little bean bags into a hole cut out of a wooden board. There's corn hole boards set up in the back…"


His efforts to hide his school girl giggle were in vain, "Say corn hole again…" Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but laugh, "Corn hole…you didn't have no clue what he was talkin' about, did ya?" He shook his head and giggled, "No, I thought he was, like, making fun of me or something…" "Jeremiah might tease the shit out of you, but he wouldn't make fun of you…by the way, um…thanks for stickin' up for me back there," Now it was my turn to look down at my feet as the humiliation from how my grandmother acted hung thick around me. I felt his breath against my cheek as he whispered, "It's not your fault how your grandmother behaved, Jay…and I was sticking up for us. Besides, I really didn't have any intention of making her so angry, I really thought I might make her see reason…I suppose it was a bit naïve on my part…" Raising my eyes to meet his gorgeous green ones, I smiled, "I thought you were kinda brave…" Snorting, he rolled his eyes, "There's nothing brave about standing up to an old woman, Jay…" My lips curled up into a grin, "I think it's brave anytime you don't back down…and I think it's brave to try and change people…fightin' has always been the way I dealt with opposition and I had no idea about how to deal with that old woman. I woulda probably acted just as bad as her, runnin' my mouth, sayin' horrible things but you never did lose your temper or let her get to you. I just…you just really amaze me sometimes, Edward. I wanna learn to be like that…" A rosy stain covered his cheeks as he flashed that crooked grin that made my knees wanna give out from underneath me, "Thanks, Jay. That was really nice what you did for Suzie, by the way. She seems sweet." I sighed, "Yeah…I mean, she can be a total pain in the ass sometimes but…I don't know, I guess I kinda feel bad for her." He looked at me seriously now, "Why is that, Jasper?" I shrugged and took a draw of my cigarette, "Suzie…tries too hard to impress these assholes around here…she already had a bad reputation when I was in school and she hasn't even went there yet…" Running my hand through my hair and pulled my thoughts together, "I worry that she's gonna get pregnant or get caught up in some bullshit that she let some guy talk her into. She obviously needs a strong man in her life and


Jeremiah's gettin' ready to leave…they're real close and shit. I guess, I just worry about what's gonna happen to her when we're all gone." Edward smiled softly, "You can keep in touch with her…you can be a positive influence on her life no matter where you are." I nodded and sighed, "Yeah, I'm gonna keep in touch with her…" Fuck, I hated the tinge of guilt that was creeping up my spine… "Hey Jay?" I looked up into his pretty green eyes and he whispered, "It's okay to be a little selfish…you've held the weight of the world on your shoulders for so long and I know that it's in your nature to want to take care of everyone but you have to take care of yourself first…" I looked down and wished I had a beer, "But I don't really take care of anyone, Edward…I mean, I couldn't even take care of you when you needed me the most…it was my fault you were even in that god damn place…if I hadn't been so fuckin' stupid about James and got sent away…I broke my promise to you, Edward. I promised that I'd always be there for you and I wasn't…" He smiled and spoke softly, "Someone very, very smart once said, 'If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember…you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we're apart…I'll always be with you.' You are a part of me, Jay…wherever I am, you're always there with me. I know this because when I needed you the most, you were hundreds of miles away, yet I still drew my strength from you. I always do." I felt the tension begin to melt away and my skin broke out in goose bumps. Leaning in, I whispered, "Shit, pretty boy…you keep sayin' them pretty words and I'm not gonna be held responsible for showin' the town folk somethin' I know they ain't ready to see…" His cheeks tinted pink as he bit down on that plump bottom lip. I focused on that lip and grunted a little while I adjusted myself. Edward laughed, "We should maybe put a little distance between us, Jay…I can't think straight when you're so close…" He pushed away from the wall and walked to the edge of the porch, shoving his hands in his pockets and teetering on the balls of his feet. I drew in a deep breath and stubbed out my cigarette, "So, what genius was the quote from?"


Edward was always quoting shit…I found it kinda fascinating that he was so smart…and extremely sexy. He grinned as his cheeks tinted again, "Um…Winnie the Pooh." I laughed and raised an eyebrow, "I didn't know Pooh Bear was so smart…" The pink stain on his cheeks and light in his pretty green eyes captivated me as he smiled, "He's quite brilliant, actually." We started walking back, falling naturally in step together side-by-side, and he nudged into my shoulder, "Feel any better?" I smiled over at my beautiful, sweet boy, "Yeah, Eddie…you always make me feel better." He smiled and nodded, "Good. So, you up for some corn holing?" I laughed and it took everything I had not to reach out and just pull him into a hug, but I resisted, "I think I can handle that." We joined the game. There were two boards set up so Esme and Carlisle were playing Jeremiah and Alice. Eddie and me took on Em and Rose. Twilight was beginning to set in and I noticed that Carlisle had drunk quite a few beers. Esme was a little tipsy but I think it's safe to say that Big Daddy C was drunk as a skunk. It had come down to him and Esme against me and Eddie in, what we dubbed as, The Corn Hole Super Bowl. Drinking had only seemed to make Carlisle better as he sunk the last bean bag. I laughed as he threw his arms up in the air and proclaimed loudly, "I am the corn hole king!" I nudged Edward, "Hey since your mama is queen and your daddy is king, does that make you the corn hole prince?" He rolled his eyes and laughed, "Don't get too smug, Jay…some day you will be my corn hole princess." I giggled, "Say corn hole again…" He giggled back, "Corn hole." I was in a much better mood.


After the grown ups left, we were all gonna party down at the lake, just like we'd usually do on a Friday night. Carlisle had his arm slung around Esme's shoulder as they walked up to us. I laughed, "You doin' alright there, Doc?" Carlisle giggled, "I feel like I'm in college again…" Then he raised his arms again and yelled out, "Go Bull Dogs!" Esme laughed, "Alright, dear, I think we better head back to the hotel…" Carlisle nodded emphatically, "That is a wonderful idea…you're so smart and sooooo pretty…" Jeremiah was standing beside us, chuckling as he nudged Edward, "Your old man is a hoot, Ed." Edward smiled, "Yeah, he is." Esme, Carlisle, and Peter were saying good bye and thanking everyone for their hospitality… Dad had never came back so Em was gonna take them back to the hotel before meeting back up with us. We walked over and Edward asked, "It's okay for Jay and I to stay the night, right?" Carlisle nodded and did his best to stand up straight and not appear completely wasted, "Yes…yes, that would be...uh…um…umm…" Esme smiled, "Are you okay, honey?" Carlisle pointed at her with a huge grin, "Yes! Okay! I could not, for the life of me, think of that word! Yes, son, it's okay that you stay the night." Then he put his hand on Edward's shoulder and raised his finger, "But no drinking. Drinking is very bad for you and it doesn't make you cool…" I giggled, "I don't know, Carlisle, it makes you pretty cool." He rolled his eyes and grinned, "I was born cool, son, the alcohol has nothing to do with it." Then he flung his arms around both our shoulders and began walking as he whispered, "Seriously, boys, I know I'm clearly not being a very good role model right now but honestly I haven't drank beer since college and forgot how slowly


it creeps up on you. But I'm of age and you are not. Please promise me that you'll be good tonight…I'm allowing you this freedom because I trust you. You know I don't want you to drink but I'm not naïve enough to think you won't try it if you're around it. If you do, please keep it to one or two drinks and do not, for any reason, drive anywhere or get in a car with someone who's been drinking. I don't care what time it is, if you need a ride, call us. I'll send your mother or call you a cab. Can I trust you boys to be safe tonight?" We both agreed and after thanking Barb again, Carlisle, Esme, and Peter left. I stepped out on the front porch and lit a cigarette as soon as they pulled off outta distance. But the roar of Em's Jeep was soon replaced by a Lincoln Continental, bass blarin' so loud that it was vibrating shit. Some dick stuck his head out the window and yelled, "Hey Suzie! Move your ass, girl!" Does this mother fucker not see me sittin' here? Cuz I know this bastard ain't talkin' to my baby cousin like that… Suzie came running around to the front and held up a finger, "Just a minute, Billy! I'm helpin' mama with somethin'…" He rolled his eyes, getting outta the car and leaning against it as he lit up a square. Then the bastard smirked as he looked right at me, "Damn it, Suzie, hurry your slow ass up…your homo cousin's eyeballin' me…" Oh hell no… I smirked back as I threw out my cigarette and walked up to him, I was not gonna hit him…at least, I was gonna try real hard not to, "Hey Billy, didn't your mama teach you no respect? That's my baby cousin you're talkin' to and that ain't no way to talk to a lady…" He laughed, "Suzie ain't no lady and at least my mama didn't teach me how to suck dick like yours did…" Suzie was just coming around the corner when she heard him. But by then, I had his arm twisted behind his back and had him bent over the hood of his car. She screamed, "You son of a bitch! How dare you talk about my family like that! Kick his ass, Jay!" He was strugglin' to get free as I shoved him face first into his hood a few times, growling out, "You better raise your hand 'fore you speak to me, boy…" Then Jeremiah was next to me, opening up his car door and laughin', "Go on home, son, 'fore things get real ugly…" I shoved him into his car and slammed the door shut. He was so pissed that his face was the color of blood. He looked over at Suzie as he threw the car in reverse and squealed tires, "Bitch, we're fuckin' through but you can bet this shit ain't over!"


As he took off down the street, Suzie walked over and looked down at the ground, "I'm sorry, Jay…Billy's such a dick sometimes. But if it makes ya feel any better, we beat the hell outta Kaycee a couple weeks back…" Laughing, I put my arm around her and gave her a hug, "I know, ya did, Suzie Q…thanks, darlin." Jeremiah was upset though as he furrowed his brows and looked down at her, "Why the hell are you lettin' guys talk to you like that? You're damn lucky that it was Jay who got to him first cuz if I woulda grabbed the little son of a bitch, he wouldn't be drivin' away…" Crossing her arms over her chest, she huffed, "Like you're any better, the way Candace treats you! Are you even sure that baby is yours?" The hurt was evident on Jeremiah's face as he let out a breath and sighed, "Shit, low fuckin' blow, Suzie…I'm just gonna worry about you when I'm gone…" Immediately, her face softened and she walked over to him, "I'm sorry, Bubby. I didn't mean it, I swear to God I wish I could learn how to control my tongue sometimes. I know you're right about the boys I date but I'm right too. It's all her fault you're leavin'…I heard the things she was sayin' to you and she was wrong! You could both get jobs and try and make this shit work but instead she talks you into joining the army so she could get your money and her freedom! Just cuz you've known her since ya'll were knee high…it don't make her a good girl, Bubby, and you wouldn't have to worry about me if you didn't leave." I admit that I didn't know Candace all that well, but from what I had seen, the girl could fuck with his head like nobody's business. He just turned and walked to his truck, hollerin' out, "C'mon, ya'll, let's head down to the lake…time to start drinkin'." Knowing that he had already been drinkin', I talked him into letting me drive. I could tell that he wasn't gonna talk to me about what was going on with him and Candace but I wanted to make sure and talk to him later about it. Everyone else followed us, it wasn't long until we were all pulling up to the lake. It was private and completely secluded, hidden back on some property my grandpa had left to my dad for huntin' and fishin.' After we all piled out, me, Em, and Eddie started building the fire while Jeremiah tapped the keg. He was a little bummed when I said I was gonna stay sober so I could drive us back to his house tonight but I promised Carlisle I'd be safe and I damn sure intended on keepin' my promise to him. Besides, I didn't wanna be messed up with Eddie and Alice and all my friends here cuz crazy shit always happened at these parties and I had to keep on my toes just in case they needed me.


The bright Texas sun dipped back behind the trees as the full moon rose. People started showing up and the party was in full swing by the time the last rays of daylight fell. I was sittin' on an old fallen tree trunk, away from the fire as I watched Eddie, Em, Alice, and Jeremiah fill up their plastic cups. Edward had promised me he'd take it easy tonight on the alcohol. I didn't wanna risk him having an episode and I wanted him to stay somewhat alert himself. Rosalie walked up over smiling as she sat down next to me and nudged my shoulder, "Hey Jay. How are you holding up?" Stretching out my long legs, I leaned back and grinned, "Better than I thought I'd be. You aren't drinkin'?" Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze as she sighed, "No, I'm driving Em's jeep back tonight. And anyway, I don't really like drinking around strangers…I mean, I know most of them are your family and everything but…I just…" Nudging her shoulder with mine, I smiled, "Hey, it's alright, Rose. I get it. You don't have to explain nothin' to me, darlin'. By the way, I wanted to thank you for bein' so nice to Suzie. I think you and Alice could be a real good influence on her." Rosalie looked down to the ground and sighed, "I know how she feels…I was her three years ago…I can just see it in her eyes, that look of desperation…the need to just have somebody look at you…to just notice you and you'll do anything to get that. I never thought I could be a positive influence on anyone but I'll help her the best way I can." I smiled, "You're a positive influence on a lot of people, Rose. Alice adores you and Em thinks the sun shines outta your ass." Laughing, she rolled her eyes, "I missed you, Jasper. I'm glad you're coming home." I nodded as I took a drink of my Coke, "Me too." The familiar rumble of bass filled my ears as I turned my head to see three carloads of trouble pulling up. "Shit, is that the jerk from earlier today?" Standing up and lookin' over at Jeremiah, who was nodding at me, I nodded back and sighed, "Yup, and a whole bunch of his little asshole friends." By the time all ten of them punks got outta the cars, me, Jeremiah, Em, and Edward were standing there waiting. I looked over at Edward and his poor little


swollen black eye and sighed, "I'm sorry, man, I'm always gettin' you into shit. I swear when we get back home, I'm not gonna fight no more." He just shrugged and the corner of his lip turned up very slightly, "Sometimes you have to fight, Jay." And that, is why my boy's perfect. We didn't have a choice, whether we wanted to fight or not, a fight was comin'. Now I don't know where Hollywood movies came up with the idea that people have long elaborate debates before fightin' cuz in my experience, most street brawls started with very few words. In this case, it was, "Kill the fag." The moment it fell from Billy's lips, chaos erupted. We started out great, Jeremiah throwin' a mean left hook to some guy's face, sendin' him to the ground…Em shoving one fucker back so hard, he stumbled and fell before turning and grabbing another fucker and shoving him head first into the door of his Lincoln Continental…Edward ducked a punch and threw in a few good shots to the mother fucker's gut, causing him to keel over as Edward continued to whoop his ass…and I had Billy's back against his car, knocking his god damn teeth down his throat. But in fights like this, shit moves fast and the upper hand can be easily lost. A few minutes later, my back was on the ground as two of the bastards held me down while another one kicked me in my ribs. I could see that Edward was struggling with his guy as they wrestled around, kickin' up dust. Jeremiah had two guys on him, trying to pin him to the car as they exchanged blow after blow. Emmett was on top of a guy, layin' dolo's on that boy, but then another guy was on his back with his arm around his neck. In the midst of the anarchy, I heard Alice's little voice scream out, "Cover your eyes, Jay!" I ripped my arms from the grip on them and rolled just in time to cover my face as Alice pepper sprayed all three of these fuckers right in the face. I heard them scream out as I scrambled to my feet, muttering a quick, "Thanks, Ali…," before taking off for Emmett. The guy on his back was choking him while the other one hit him. I ran up, and kicked that mother fucker square in his jaw…I swear, I heard some shit crack on that fuckin' blow. He fell over, letting go of Em so he could breathe again. I heard another car pull up and raised my eyes just in time to see Ethan and Caleb jump out.


I figured they'd help Jeremiah so I was gonna go after Edward, who had two guys on him now. But they surprised me, Ethan ran to Edward while Caleb went to Jeremiah. I helped Em out with his last guy and only a few minutes later, we were all standin' there lookin' down on those assholes as we smiled through bloody lips and sore bodies. I put my hand on Edward's shoulder, needing some sort of physical contact, no matter how small, "Hey, you okay, Eddie?" He nodded, "I'm fine, Jay. Are you okay?" "Yeah. I'm tired of fightin' though…I would give anything to just be in your room playin' Call of Duty right now." I grinned at him and he laughed. The party kept rollin' long after those pricks had pried themselves from the dirt floor and took off, spouting off bullshit as they went. I saw Ethan sittin' on the back tailgate of Jeremiah's truck so I broke away from the group and walked over to him. "Hey, Jay, you ain't drinkin'?" I shook my head, "No, I'm drivin'…anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for helpin' out back there…" Shrugging, he tossed his beer back and took a long pull. Then, looking at the ground, he sighed, "I don't understand it, Cuz, I really don't…but you're family and if you need me, I got your back." Pulling out a square and lighting up, I sighed, "Well, thanks for helpin' Edward." A huge grin broke out on his face as he laughed, "He stood up to granny…and was holdin' his ground pretty good when we pulled up, I figure the boy deserves some respect. I mean, after all, if he's with you, he's gotta be one tough little fucker and to actually come all the way down here...bein' around us and all our fucked up shit…he must be crazy as a shit house rat. He might fit right in." Looking over at Edward, I see him sipping his beer, as he laughs at Jeremiah. Suzie is sittin' next to Alice and Rose, while they cheer on Em in a football game he picked up with a few of the guys. I told Ethan I'd see him later and walked back over to my friends.


Em talked us in to joining the game and I even talked Edward into playing. I needed to stop trying to protect him from everything. He was capable of takin' care of his self just fine, but if he ever needed me, I'd have his back. I took over the QB position and made Edward the wide receiver. I knew he could catch cuz we used to throw the ball around in his back yard while I'd be teachin' him how to talk to the other kids, even when he was distracted by something else. And Eddie was fast as greased owl shit. Jeremiah and Emmett blocked for us and I gotta say that watchin' Edward catch the ball and smoke past everybody in his way, was pretty fuckin' hot. When the game was over and we had won with Eddie's winning touch down, I smiled at the deep blush in his already flushed face as everyone went on and on about how fast he was. I was gonna have to try and talk him into tryin' out for the team back home. Then we'd both have uniforms that we could use when we were feelin' a little freaky… Just sayin'… The party was winding down and people kept leaving until just a few of us remained. Jeremiah drank the last of his beer, then crushed his plastic cup and tossed it in the trash. He threw his arm around my shoulder as he looked out over the lake, "Well, Cuz…I'm drunk…let's go swimmin'…" And I knew what was gonna happen 'fore I even seen his white ass shinin' in the moonlight. Skinny dippin. Jeremiah always got drunk and went skinny dippin. He was runnin' down to the lake before grabbing his junk for safety as he did a cannonball into the water. Looking at Edward, I see his green eyes are wide and his mouth is gaping open as he watches Jeremiah until he hit the water…then he looks at me as his whole face goes up in flames. I laugh and nudge his shoulder, "Dude? Were you just checkin' out my cousin?" Stammering, he runs his fingers through his hair and looks "Um…no…uh…let's go swimming, Jay, but I'm keeping my boxers on…"

down,

And then he's taking off for the water, shredding his clothes as he goes until he's in nothing but dark gray boxer briefs. He launches into the water as I see Em's big naked ass run by before he jumps in.


Alice looks at Rose and shrugs before strippin' down to her bra and panties and joinin' the boys in the water. I smile over at Rose as she smirks at me, "You gettin' in, Rose?" She rolls her eyes and laughs as her cheeks tint in the darkness, "I'm not wearing underwear." I shrug as I pull off my shirt, "I ain't either, darlin…you can wear this, if you want. It's long enough to cover you." She thanks me for the shirt as I strip off the rest of my clothes and she takes off hers, wearin' just my t-shirt. We take off runnin' and a minute later, we're all splashing around, and cooling off in the water. By the time we drag our asses outta the water, Eddie's practically sleep walkin. We decide to call it a night. Rose drives back to Jeremiah's house with him, Em, and Alice while I take Jeremiah's truck. I turn off the radio and roll down the windows, grateful for the cool night time air. Edward smiles as he slides across the seat and right next to me. I raise my arm and he cuddles into me, sighing deeply as he whispers, "I had a lot of fun tonight, Jay…I mean, apart from the fight." I squeeze him tight as I pull down the old dirt road, "Sorry I'm always gettin' you in trouble, Eddie…" Lifting his face, his green eyes were half lidded and sleepy as he smiled, "Don't be sorry, babe…sometimes people take your choice away and you have to fight. Because of you, I'm not afraid of that anymore. I don't back down because I'm not scared anymore…I still don't like fighting but it's nice to know that I'm not completely helpless. Thank you for teaching me how to stand up for myself, Jay…" He cuddled back into my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair as I smiled, "Anytime, darlin…so tell me, baby boy…was I mistakin' or did you pop wood over my cousin's naked body cuz you took off runnin' like a bat outta hell…" Giggling, I knew that his face was red even if I couldn't see it, "I didn't pop wood…and besides, have you seen your cousin? I'm sorry, Jay, but Jeremiah is…hot. Really, really hot." I rolled my eyes and pushed his shoulder playfully, "That's just gross, dude…he's my blood…" Edward just shrugged and grinned, "He's not mine…you're better anyway…I think you've got him beat by a good inch and a half…"


That caused my eyes to go wide as I looked over at him, "Oh my God, you were checkin' out my cousin's dick!" He burst into a fit of laughter as his face went up in flames, "I'm sorry, Jay…I just couldn't help it…" Then he snuggled back into me as his laughter died down to soft giggles, "Just because I looked, doesn't mean that I could ever want anyone else, Jay. That would be impossible…I'm all yours, babe…" I leaned down and pressed my lips to his for just a second before smiling and whispering, "I know. Love you, baby boy." He whispered he loved me too as he curled up and closed his eyes, sighing contently. When we got to the house, Em and Rose took Suzie's room while she stayed the night at her friend's house, Alice and Jeremiah took the fold out couch since she made it clear that he wasn't gonna get anything other than maybe a kiss from her tonight, and me and Eddie took Jeremiah's room. I was hopin' we'd get to fool around tonight but Edward was out like a light as soon as he hit the bed. I went out on the back porch for one last smoke and was surprised to see Jeremiah there, tokin' up. He smiled as he handed me the joint, "Pretty boy passed out on ya, huh?" Nodding, I took the joint, taking a few hits before passing it back, "Yeah…so what's up with you and Alice?" Sighing deeply, he shrugged, "I don't know…I told her that I might try and work things out with Candace. Carlisle talked to me today…said he might be able to help me get a good job and an apprenticeship in a trade program…said a lot of guys owe him favors that he'd be willing to pull for me." I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face, "Yeah? What are you thinking?" He handed the joint back and smiled, "He said that it was just an option and that he'd have to talk to you and Edward but…I guess him and Esme both agreed that me, Candace, and the baby could stay there for a little while till we got up on our feet…I guess, Esme even volunteered to baby sit. I ain't never met people like them before, Cuz…willing to take in strangers and help them out…" "They're good people, Jeremiah. They can help you if you let them. Maybe I can talk to Peter about Suzie comin' to stay with us. He's got an extra room in the back and it might do him some good to have people around. We'd all be together still…"


He nodded and grinned, "I'm gonna talk with Candace tomorrow…if she said yes, do you think Edward would be cool with it? I mean, we'd be like, takin' up all his space and shit…" That made me laugh, "Just do me a favor, Cuz…if ya'll move in with the Cullen's, just stay fully clothed at all times…I don't think my poor boy's heart could take much more…" Jeremiah raised an eyebrow and snickered, "Your boyfriend thinks I'm hot, huh?" I shoved him in the shoulder and rolled my eyes, as he started singin' "Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot, like me?" Laughing uncontrollably as the pot settled in, I just shook my head, "I can't believe i'm the gay one...I'm goin' to bed, Cuz…hey thanks, for everything." He smiled, "No problem, Jay…night, Cuz." "Night." And I walked back down the dark hallway to where my boy was sleeping, thinkin' happy thoughts that maybe I wouldn't have to leave my family behind…maybe we could all help each other out and maybe we could all actually make it outta these fucked up lives we were born into. Maybe.


Chapter Forty-Eight Playlist: Love Should by Moby Eddie's POV I awoke to the sound of crickets and the feel of the cool night time air. I must've dozed off for a few minutes. Opening my hazy eyes, I vaguely see the plastic blades of the fan in front of the open window…it's quiet hum is soothing. The room is dark but the soft glow from the street lamp outside shines just enough for me to take a peek around. I figure that Jay must've went for a smoke or something since I'm all alone in Jeremiah's room. I sit up and stretch, breathing in the fresh air deeply, causing my lungs expand to their fullest before letting it all go. I had only drank a couple beers so I actually felt pretty good…having kept my promise to my dad this time. Pulling back the cool sheet and stepping onto the cold wood floor, I tip-toed over to the window, never being able to resist the urge to look out upon the world from the safety behind it. I stood there, gazing out at the quiet street and rows of small houses lit up by a path of softly lit street lamps leading…somewhere. The whole world was right outside this window and it looked so…real. There were no ominous shadows or sinister voices keeping me from walking down that path. I wondered why I had been so frightened of it for so long. I mean, I may not have known where that path was leading but as long as I had a little light to lead me then it wasn't scary at all…it was freeing. Jasper was my light. I closed my eyes for a moment and remembered the view from my old bedroom window before it was painted over. I could barely see the worn street below filled with children playing and houses that stretched on forever… Opening my eyes, the longing was still tangible…the longing to just crawl through that window and down to the ground where I could play too. But gone was the fear that kept me standing there with my palm pressed against the glass, aching for someone to save me…because now there was nothing keeping me from just crawling through that window all on my own and saving myself.


A moment later, my toes are curling in the soft, wet dew covered grass beneath them and I'm grinning like a mad man. I realize that I must look absolutely insane and that makes me grin even more because I really don't care how I look. I feel free and powerful and no one can take that away from me anymore. His laughter is like the angels singing, "What are you doin', Eddie?" I turn and take in his dimpled smile and baby blue eyes, the wind blowing those golden curls across them as he leans out the window. His smile is radiant…a light that will always guide me…encompassing me and always taking the darkness away. I grin back, "Um…having an epiphany…and just feeling the grass between my toes. It's squishy. I like it." If it's even possible, his smile is wider as he laughs and easily jumps through the window. We're both barefoot but still in our jeans and t-shirts but he looks gorgeous as he shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls that plump pink bottom lip between his teeth. Rocking on the balls of his feet, he looks a little shy and I kind of like seeing Jasper on his home turf because here is where he needs me. "Hey um, babe…there's someplace I wanna take you. Will you go with me?" Nudging into his shoulder, I roll my eyes and laugh, "Do you really have to even ask me anymore, Jay?" A soft tint shades his cheeks as he smiles, "C'mon, it's not far from here but we need to get our shoes cuz it's untellin' what we might step on out here, darlin'..." I pout just a little, "But babe, I really like the way the grass feels." He jumps back through the window and sticks his head back out with a goofy grin and a shrug, "Well, I'll just get mine then since you ain't afraid of steppin' on those big ass Texas slugs…man, that shit sucks cuz you don't even know you stepped on those squishy bastards till you look down and see a little eyeball all poppin' out between your toes…" "Okay, okay, just get my shoes…" I was combing my little patch of grass for creepy slimy slugs as he laughed, "That's what I thought you'd say." Asshole.


After pulling on our socks and shoes, we walked through the back yard and I followed his lead, easily jumping the low chain-link fence into another yard. We cut through two more yards and ended up on a sidewalk filled with more dim street lamps and small houses. It was mostly quiet out here, apart from the crickets and the occasional car off in the distance. Talking softly as to not disturb the peaceful night, I nudged Jay's shoulder with mine, "Where are we going?" He smiled over at me, "Patience is a virtue, Eddie." I rolled my eyes and laughed, "Well, I suppose I better hold onto the little bit of virtue I have left…" Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "You're a god damn saint, Edward." "No, I'm not but that's okay because I don't have to be. Someone very smart once told me that everyone was fucked up, some are just better at hiding it." Nudging into me, he smirked, "Was it that brilliant fucker, Pooh, again?" Smirking right back at him, I winked, "Nope…it was Superman." Walking side by side and in step with Jasper was easy…comfortable, being with him always had been for me, but in the beginning I often had to walk behind him so that he could protect me from all the evils of the world…my super hero. But even then, the evil attacked me from the inside where I was left defenseless…until he told me that he loved me. And he didn't just say the words, as so many people do…he showed me…he saturated me in love, filling the gaping holes from where my soul had been ripped in pieces from my body…he made me whole again…my angel. "Hey, um, Eddie? I wanna ask you somethin' but if you don't wanna answer, it's okay…" Stricken by the soft serious tone of his voice, I turned to look into his beautiful baby blue eyes, "I'll always answer you, Jay. What is it?" His voice was quiet as he looked down at the cracked sidewalk below him, "I don't know the bible like you do but I know that it says some pretty bad things about, um…bein' gay…and I was just wonderin' if that ever bothered you when you were figurin' out that you liked me." I let out a breath and smiled because this was easy to answer, "I worried that it was wrong, or really that other people would think it was wrong but that was just a minor thought in the back of my mind. Mostly I worried about how I was going to get you to kiss me again…and again…and again…"


He smiled a little but it didn't reach his eyes, "So all that bullshit about goin' to hell don't bother you?" Shoving my hands in my pocket to fend off the need to touch him, I looked down at the ground as I felt my cheeks heat up, "No, it doesn't bother me at all because…I didn't flinch when you touched me. That was the first time I can ever remember being more curious about someone than being afraid. You didn't scare me…you intrigued me because your touch was comforting right away. I mean, it took my parents years to do that." Nudging into him so he'd look over at me, I gazed into those honest blue eyes and sighed, "Hell is not being able to be touched or loved or comforted for fear of being hurt. It's the loneliness and solitude of feeling non-existent. Hell is living in a nightmare that you can't wake up from…but you woke me up…you breathed life back into me. I was hanging on by a thread when I met you, Jasper…so close to hell that I could feel the demons clawing at me as I gasped for my last breath…" He stopped walking as his eyes looked right through me, seeing my soul laid out before him bare, as it always had been. Leaning in just a little closer, I can see his breathing hitch as I whisper, "But you swooped in and gave me shelter beneath your wings. They were real long before the tattoo, Jay. So, no, I don't worry about going to hell because you've already saved me once…I won't make you do it again." His eyes closed as he took a deep breath and I smiled because I knew he was fighting the urge to kiss me. For some reason, the boy just couldn't seem to resist me. Exhaling slowly, his beautiful blue eyes opened and he smiled as he whispered, "I love you, Eddie." "I know you do, Jay…I love you too." Shaking his head, he laughed, "C'mon, babe, 'fore I throw you down in the middle of the sidewalk and do things to you that I'm pretty sure are illegal in the great state of Texas." Not much further, we came to an old abandoned church. It was just a small white building, even in it's best day you could tell it wasn't fancy. "What I wanna show you is around back…" I followed him back behind the building to an overgrown park that had apparently been abandoned as well. I looked over at him as he studied the worn down playground, "Did you come here as a child, Jay?"


Walking over and sitting on an old metal bench, he pulled his knees up to his chin and nodded, "Yeah." Sitting next to him, I nudged his shoulder and smiled, "It looks like it would've been fun." He rested his cheek on his knees and looked over at me, "Yeah, I thought so too." Sensing the storm brewing behind those midnight eyes, I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and brushing my fingers through his honey hair as the wind blew it gently around his perfect face, "What's up, Jay?" His eyes closed as he leaned slightly into my touch and whispered, "The first time I came here, I was seven. It was the first summer I had ever stayed with my dad and right after the first time he hit me…mama's boyfriends had been doin' a number on me already so I guess I shoulda been prepared for it but I actually thought that maybe being with my real dad would be different…I remember thinkin' that maybe he'd save me from mama…" My heart ached with pain for him, my beautiful boy. "He hit me cuz I wouldn't stop askin' him to go outside and play with me…he told me I needed to grow up cuz the world was tough and only little pussy boys wanted to go outside and play…so after he passed out, I started walking and ended up here. I sat just like this, right here on this bench, and I watched the other kids play…trying to convince myself that I needed to quit actin' like such a baby…that I needed to be tougher…but the whole time I was prayin' that just one kid would come and ask me to play with him…no one ever did." Looking at him now, so vulnerable, he seemed so small…I could easily see him here at seven years old, alone and clutching like hell to his innocence as so many others fought endlessly to rip it away from him. His eyes were glossy now as he looked into mine and bared his soul to me…just as he always had. "I came here for weeks, just sittin' here and watching. There were these two old ladies that always sat on the far end of the bench. Here I was, seven years old, covered in bruises…dirty…practically screamin' for someone to just…fuckin' notice me…help me. One day, one of the old ladies whispered to the other one about my bruises…I remember feeling hope that maybe someone would save me…but then the other woman whispered back, 'He's just one of those Whitlock boys…you know they're no good. He was probably out torturing small animals 'fore he came here…I'm sure he just got what was comin' to him…" The breath left my lungs as I whispered, "Those evil old bitches…"


He looked up at me and smiled as a few tears fell down his cheeks, "They were some evil old bitches. Anyway, the other one just turned her nose up and they went back to ignoring me. That feeling of hope was replaced with a feeling that maybe they were all right about me. Maybe I wasn't smart or sweet or…good…maybe I was the piece of shit that everyone kept tellin' me I was. I remember bein' so god damn mad that I stood up and kicked that old bitch in the ankle 'fore taking off runnin'." We both laughed in spite of ourselves. Even though our pasts were different, we shared very similar emotions as children. We were both made to feel like we weren't good…like we were invisible. His reaction differed from mine as he lashed out at the world that tried to ignore him…I withdrew inside my mind, away from the world that refused and frightened me. Yet, here we were… The few tears were receding as he smiled at me, beautiful dimples and flushed cheeks, "That all started changin' when I met you, Eddie…after you told me your story, I felt hope again cuz here you were, this scrawny little kid, sweet and innocent and so fuckin' good, despite what happened to you…I felt like if you were strong enough to go through all that fucked up shit and still be so damn good, that maybe I could be good too. What I'm tryin' to say is that you're my angel too, baby boy…my Superman…I just wanted you to know that." It's moments like this that I feel like my heart might burst… And I want to kiss him…to touch him…to just anything him… So I stand and hold out my hand, smiling my crooked smile that makes his dimpled one appear, I ask, "Would you like to play with me, Jay?" Smirking, he raises an eyebrow and drawls out, "Which part do I get to play with?" I just roll my eyes at his cheesiness, "Come on, Jay…let's regress back to our childhood…we can play, um…tag and if you win, you can pick out the next game…" He just shook his head and laughed, "Seriously, man, we're too old to play tag…" I scoffed, "Someone once told me that we're teenagers and we do dumb shit…that it was kind of our thing…" Giggling now he smiled, "I did say that huh?"


"Yep…when you convinced me to go skinny dipping with you at Peter's lake. Besides, if you can catch me, maybe I'll give you a blow job in that fort up there…" I pointed to the rocket shaped fort that housed three different slides…it was almost completely enclosed. But he was already off the bench and coming for me as he laughed, "You better run, Eddie." I jumped and took off running, smiling at him as I looked behind me, "You better run faster, Jay." Then I ran through the playground and jumped on one of the slides, quickly climbing up it and into the fort. I was quite a bit faster than him so I turned around and waited, taunting him, "You really should consider quitting smoking, babe…it's making you slow." He started up the slide after me, laughing, "So now you're gonna be all cocky and shit, huh?" I jumped from the tower to the ground below, laughing as I took off again. My poor boy chased me around the playground as I jumped and climbed and teased him. I surprised myself at how athletic I was becoming. Eventually, Jay doubled over, putting his hands on his knees as he panted, "Holy shit, you're a fast little fucker…" I came to a stop and strode back over to him in victory, "Since I won, I get to choose the next thing we do." He looked up at me and smirked, "I vote for blow jobs in the fort." I laughed and sat down on the swing, "You don't get a vote…let's swing." With an over exaggerated sigh but a sweet smile, he sat on the swing next to me, "Alright, Eddie." And we swung on the swing set, jumping off at our highest point of elevation which I didn't really understand why anyone would do that but Jay assured me that's what kids do. We landed on the grass with a thud, laughing like idiots. Next was the monkey bars. As we hung upside down by our knees, all of the blood was rushing to my head but the beautiful dimpled grin on his red face more than made up for it.


"I wish we woulda known each other when we were little, Eddie. We woulda had a lot of fun together." I smiled back at him, his face picture perfect against the world turned upside down all around him, "Yeah, we would've." His hand reached out as calloused fingers brushed across my cheek and he whispered, "There's somethin' I always wanted to try…" The honey of his breath pulled me in as my eyes fluttered close and our lips met. The kiss was soft, sweet…his tongue, gentle as it glides against mine, drawing me in closer as my fingers wrap themselves in golden curls that fell away from the nape of his neck. When he has kissed me senseless, the world no longer seemed upside down at all because when my eyes opened…all I could see was him. His cheeks were scarlet as he laughed, "I've wanted to do an upside down kiss ever since I saw it on Spiderman." Oh my god, he's such a dork… Now I couldn't help but laugh and tell him just that. He responded with a shrug, "He's my favorite superhero. When I was growin' up on granny's farm, I got bit by spiders all the damn time…every time it happened, I'd put on my Spiderman pajamas and start jumpin' off my bed and shit, tryin' to see if I was gettin' any super powers…" Picturing a little blue eyed boy with bouncy honey curls and deep dimples, I smiled, "I bet you were adorable." He laughed, "Yeah…some things never change." I rolled my eyes again and chuckled, "You're so damn cocky." Smirking, he shrugged, "Yeah but you know you love it." I really did. Pulling himself upright on the monkey bars, he smiled, "C'mon, Eddie…it's time for blow jobs in the fort..." "You're just not going to let that go, are you, Jay?" "Nope," he answered with a laugh.


Mimicking his actions, I pulled myself up and followed him up the ladder into the small metal rocket ship. We couldn't stand fully upright in it, so we sat Indian style on the floor, facing each other. It was really dark, only a sliver of moonlight through the small openings to the slides, and it was really humid. Though I could barely see him, I could hear his laughter ring out, "Maybe this ain't the best place for blow jobs…it's hotter than a two dollar pistol at a swap meet." I laughed at his cute southern sayings. I had always loved the way he spoke. I felt his legs against mine and then he was sliding closer until I could finally see the baby blue in his eyes. His arms went around my neck as mine went around his waist, pulling him closer still. No longer concerned about the heat because we were used to the fire every time we touched. I could see the pink in his lips as he smiled, "You remember back when I told you that I liked kissin' you?" Licking my lips in anticipation, I smiled at the memory and nodded. And then his lips were on mine as he mumbled, "I still really like kissin' you…" I loved kissing him. I remembered how we used to just lie in bed at night and kiss for hours…I could die a happy boy with just one kiss from him because with Jasper, a kiss was never really just a kiss. When he kissed me, it was like we were speaking a language that no one else knew…we poured everything into it that we could never put into words, but didn't really ever need to because we understood each other perfectly, no words needed. I may be young and naïve, but I am not naïve enough to think that what Jasper and I have is normal. We far exceed normal boundaries when it comes to the connection we share…the love and devotion…need and desire…faith and trust… Soul mates. Before I met him, I would've never had believed such a notion but there was no other explanation. We were two halves of a whole and I thanked God for making me whole again. And I truly believed that as bad as the beginning of our lives may have been…we would truly make up for it with blinding happiness by the end.


We kissed until we were sticky and sweaty, panting through swollen lips as slippery fingertips dug into damp hair. Eventually, he pulled away, breathing ragged and voice rough as he whispers, "We better get headin' back…" I nod through my own shallow breaths as we begin to untangle our bodies. He kisses me softly, one more time and tells me he loves me…and I know that he does. On the way back to Jeremiah's house, the brisk air feels so good on my overheated skin. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it up, blowing a puff of white smoke into the dark night time sky. He told me that Jeremiah might be staying with us in Forks and I was ecstatic. I mean, it might be a little weird at first but Candace couldn't be that bad if Jeremiah loved her…and it would be wonderful for Jay to have him there…and we wouldn't have to worry about something happening to him in the army…and we'd get to see his baby all the time. I didn't like kids much, but I loved babies. I hoped Candace agreed because I could see so many potential good things coming from this. No doubt, Jeremiah had grown up his entire life with the whole "Whitlock boys" stigma over his head…I would love to see what kind of greatness he was capable of because there was no doubt in my mind, that he and Jasper were fully capable of proving all those narrow minded people wrong. After we snuck back in through the window, we decided that we should take showers before sleeping in Jeremiah's bed, seeming we were covered in dirt and grass. The house was quiet as I crept behind Jay down the hallway to the bathroom. I could barely hear the TV in the living room playing quietly as Jeremiah and Alice's hushed voices broke through. They were still awake and having a conversation, but I couldn't hear well enough to know what was being said. I hoped she took it well that he was going to try and work things out with Candace. I know I might be heartbroken if I thought I had a chance at him and then it didn't work out…though, knowing Alice like I do, she would be gracious about it and happy that he was trying to fix his family. She was one of the least selfish and most understanding people I had ever known…always putting other's happiness before her own. She was magnificent and I hoped that she found someone worthy of her one day.


I followed him into the small bathroom as he turned on the light and closed the door behind us. We placed the clothes Jay grabbed from "his drawer of shit" in Jeremiah's room, on the counter and he started the water. I was a little apprehensive about taking a shower so late and with Jasper but he assured me that Barb slept with ear plugs because of the trains that would keep her up all night, so she wouldn't hear...and Jeremiah wouldn't chance walking in on us in the shower together so we were safe as long as we kept it fast. We quickly showered, only stealing a few lingering kisses as we stood under the water and rinsed. But once we got in the bedroom, I was aching with pent up need for my angel boy. It wasn't long until we were snuggled underneath nothing but a sheet on Jeremiah's bed. We were both in sweats but I had a t-shirt on too. I lied on top of him, my knees between his legs, spreading him wide open for me. His fingers trailing fire up my back as they pushed my shirt slowly up, exposing the heated skin to the cool breeze of the fan still perched in front of the window. I removed my lips from his, just long enough for him to yank my shirt over my head and toss it somewhere. Now our bare chests slide along each other while I grind my cock against his, the fabric of the sweats doing nothing but making each stroke hotter than the one before it. My fingers yank the clingy fabric down his hips, exposing his beautiful hard cock to me, standing long and dripping with need as it lays thick against his toned, tanned stomach. His lidded baby blues are on mine as I lift up, eagerly pulling down my own sweat pants, my cock bouncing lightly against my stomach as I rip the material down my legs and toss them. His fingers dig into my hips as he yanks me back down on top of him, crashing his mouth to mine. We both are moaning into the kiss as our bodies move against each other, sticky and sweaty and so hard… Breaking the kiss, he reaches for his "drawer of shit" and pulls out a bottle of lube and some condoms, lying them next to my knee. My eyes narrow and I can't help the surge of jealousy I feel, "Why the hell do you have condoms?" He rolls his eyes and smiles lazily, "Relax, caveman…Jeremiah doesn't want jizz all over his sheets so he gave them to me this mornin'…" Then the thought that Jeremiah knew we were going to be having sex in his bed, made me blush, "Oh, um…sorry."


He smiled as he stroked his gorgeous cock languidly, "Don't be sorry, baby…defend your cock." I laughed and began trailing kisses down his stomach, sliding my body down his legs. Placing a kiss on the wet tip, I whispered, "Mine." His head fell back against the pillow as I licked the slit and sucked on the head, "Yours." Finally giving him what he had been asking for all night, I drew his cock deep down my throat, swallowing and licking as much as I could. His hands fisted the sheets as he bucked up into my mouth, groaning and cursing with each thrust. But I knew exactly what Jasper liked…slow, wet, messy head. He liked the sounds of slurping and moaning around his cock. So, looking up at him, I let the spit trail from my tongue to his cock, making a big show of it as I slurped up the wetness around his head. He was thrashing beneath me as I teased him, begging for more. I loved it when he begged. Taking him deep down my throat again and twisting my mouth around his hard shaft on the way back up, I grabbed the lube and got my fingers wet. Letting his cock pop out of my mouth, I licked my way down to his balls. Slurping and sucking and licking while he moaned wantonly into the night. I began working my fingers inside of him, preparing him for me because I was fucking him tonight. By the way he tugged at his cock and pushed down against my fingers, I knew he was ready for me. Lifting myself up to my knees, I grabbed a condom and remembered back to the Vanquish. He smiled, already looking blissed out, "You remember how to put it on?" Feeling a little cocky, I smirked as I tore it open and rolled it down my cock. Pushing his knees further apart with my own, I positioned myself at his entrance and smiled, "I could never forget anything you taught me, baby." He wrapped his arms around my neck and pushed his feet into the mattress, "Fuckin' need you, Eddie…" Pushing into him, he moaned loudly and I panted out, "You've got me, Jay…I'm all yours…" I tried to go slow so I wouldn't hurt him, but he was having none of that. He pushed against me and I slid all the way in as his sweaty fingers skidded across my shoulders, trying desperately to pull me even closer.


Taking his lips to mine again, I pulled out almost all the way and slammed back into him, causing the bed to squeak loudly and the headboard to hit the wall. I broke the kiss and laughed, "Shit! This bed is too loud…" He smiled and shook his head, "Fuck it…fuck me, baby…Barb ain't gonna hear you…you know Em and Rose are fuckin'…and I've heard Jeremiah fuckin' so many times that he fuckin' owes me this shit…" And he felt so damn hot and tight around me that I found myself nodding before taking his lips to mine and murmuring, "Fuck it…" I just began drilling him hard and fast as he held on tight, moaning loudly and trying to hang on for dear life. He was moaning in my ear, all sorts of dirty things as he begged me to fuck him harder and faster. Afraid that the headboard would dent the wall, I pulled out and stood up. Grabbing the pillows and throwing them on the floor, I whispered breathlessly, "Get on your hands and knees…" With a sexy smile, he got down on the floor, putting his knees on the pillow and sticking his ass out for me. He looked at me over his shoulder as I dropped to my knees behind him. Running that metal stud over his bottom lip, he whispered, "Take the condom off…" I pulled it off quickly and tossed it in the trash before reaching up on the bed and grabbing the lube. I watched the black ink on his back and a mop of blonde curls as I stroked myself a few times, getting me good and wet so I could slide back into him. With one hand gripping his hip, I positioned myself again and pushed into him. Feeling his bare body around mine, I couldn't stop myself from grabbing on tight and fucking him hard. He was stroking himself as he met my thrusts with his own, both of us making more noise than the headboard ever did. My body was aching for release as I pushed the damp hair from my eyes, I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Not wanting to cum without looking in his eyes, I pulled out and rasped, "Turn over, Jay…" He turned over on his back and I grabbed his thighs, pulling him closer. He reached down and grabbed my dick this time, easily guiding it into him as I leaned over and took his lips to mine. I reached between us and jacked him off while I started drilling his sweet spot.


Within moments, he was cumming hot and thick between us…a few more pumps and I was done as well, my whole body shuddering with pleasure as I came deep inside my angel boy. He looked up at me through dark blue lidded eyes and damp honey curls, a soft smile on his face as he whispered, "I love you, Eddie…" Pushing the curls from his eyes, I kissed him softly one more time, "Love you too, Jay." Fighting the urge to just sleep on the floor, I finally pulled out and Jay grabbed a washcloth to clean us up. We dressed quickly and soon we were snuggled up together again in bed. The fan felt so good, cooling down our skin as we slept tangled in one another, despite the heat. I awoke to the smell of marijuana and Jeremiah sitting on the floor by the side of the bed with a bong. Then as my eyes opened further, I saw Emmett too. "Wake n bake, ya sleepy mother fuckers! It's a beautiful day and ya'll are wastin' it in bed!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes and giggle at his enthusiasm…Jasper, on the other hand, was not a morning person. Grumbling beside me, he groaned, "Just five more minutes, Cuz…" Jeremiah blew out a long puff of white smoke and choked out, "Is he always so damn grumpy in the mornin'?" Before I could even stop myself, I smiled, "I could wake him up in a wonderful mood but that would require you and Emmett leaving." Jeremiah started choking even harder. Emmett starting laughing hysterically and the bed started shaking as I heard Jasper break out into a fit of laughter. I tried to contain my giggling but I could feel my whole face light up in flames…but it really was funny. Finally, Jeremiah held out his fist for me and laughed, "Pretty boy's a dirty minded mother fucker…welcome to the family, although by the way that headboard was hittin' the wall last night, I woulda thought he'd already be in a damn good mood." I bumped his fist as Jay sat up, grinning from ear to ear as his rough voice drawled out, "I'm in a great mood, mother fucker."


I loved watching Jasper first thing in the morning. His baby blues eyes barely opened, honey curls in complete disarray covering those lidded eyes, and he always scratched his belly. It reminded me of Peter and I couldn't help but laugh every time he did it. Emmett hit the bong now as I asked, "Where are the girls?" Jeremiah smiled with stoned red eyes, "They're gettin' ready to go pick up your mama. They're gonna be gone awhile, man, shoppin' and all that shit." Emmett choked out and handed the bong to Jay. I was surprised when he shook his head and reached for his cigarettes instead, "No thanks, man…I gotta go check on my daddy today…" I love it when he says 'Daddy…' I turned down the bong as well remembering that I needed to call my dad and let him know everything was okay. We got out of bed and I started walking out to the back porch so I could have some quiet to call my dad. I passed by, what I assumed was Suzie's room and heard Rosalie call out for me. Poking my head in the door, I smiled as I saw her styling Suzie's hair. Suzie had also borrowed one of her little sun dresses and I had to admit, she looked great. Rose smiled, "We need a man's opinion…how do you think Suzie looks?" Her make up was toned down a lot and her hair looked really soft without all the hairspray. "Wow…you look really beautiful, Suzie. Of course, I thought you were beautiful the first time I saw you but not hidden behind make up you don't really need, you're quite breathtaking." It surprised me when she jumped up and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly and whispering, "You're just about the sweetest thing I ever seen…I can see why Jay loves you so much." I hugged her back and it was a little awkward but also kind of nice. One thing I noticed is that the Whitlock's were touchy feely people, always hugging or throwing their arm around people…they held a lot of love in them, even if they didn't fully realize it. I excused myself and finally stepped onto the back porch, pulling out my phone and calling my dad.


"Good morning, son." "Good morning, dad. I just wanted to check in with you…let you know we're all okay." I could practically hear him smile through the phone, "Thank you for calling, Edward. Did you have a good time last night?" Feeling the blush in my cheeks, I couldn't stop grinning, "Yes…it was very different than what I'm used to but I had a really good time." "Good. Did you two drink?" Resisting the urge to lie, I swallowed thickly, "Um…yes but I limited it to two just like you said. And Jasper didn't drink so he could drive me home." He sighed, "Really? Good boys. Thank you for listening to me." A twinge of guilt nipped at me, "Dad? Um…I'm sorry for making you worry so much." The familiar chuckle made me smile, my dad was always laughing…always happy…it was a testament to his strength how he could always smile, and make everyone around him smile too. "You don't have to apologize for being a normal kid, son. And for the record, I don't worry about you so much anymore. You've proven to me that you're capable of handling yourself well. Just please don't forget that I'm a little older and have been around the block already a time or two…now, what about Emmett, Rose, and Alice? Did they drink responsibly?" Sitting down on the plastic lawn chair and feeling the sun on my face, I smiled, "Yeah, Rosalie didn't drink so she could drive them back." "Very good. You know you have some incredible friends, son." I nodded, "I know." "You know those kids came over to the house almost every day over the summer, checking in with us…making sure we were okay and letting us know when they spoke to you. They spent a lot of time with Peter as well. Bella, Angela, and Jacob stopped by a few times. And Brady and Tommy were over all the time…you know, most people go their whole lives without knowing such good friendship. You were never invisible, son…you were just afraid to let your light shine, but now…you couldn't stop it if you tried." I smiled, "I'm very lucky to have so many good people in my life but you and mom were the first. If you hadn't wanted me in the beginning, I wouldn't have anyone, so thank you."


"You're welcome, son. So, what are you planning for today?" "Um…not sure yet but Jay wants to check on his dad…" I could hear his deep sigh, "I figured as much. Hold him off for about an hour and let me get over there first. If his father relapsed, I don't want any of you near him, especially Jasper. I'll text you and let you know if it's safe to go over there, okay?" "Okay, be careful. Are you sure you don't want us to meet you there? I mean, he's kind of big, dad." I could hear him scoff, "I'll have you know I held the title in my division in the Golden Gloves boxing league while I was in college." "Really?" My dad was definitely a lover, not a fighter. Then he laughed, "No, not really. Don't worry about me, son, I can handle myself. Just don't let him leave until I text you." "Okay, I won't. Love you, dad." "Love you too, son." I slid my phone back into my pocket and opened the back screen door in the kitchen, just in time to see Jeremiah take off running out the front door mumbling, "Oh shit…" Then there was yelling. "Who the fuck are those dirty bitches? I know they ain't Suzie's friends!" And that must be Candace. Jay and Emmett were right behind me as I made it out the front door. Rosalie was backed against Em's Jeep as Jeremiah stood between her and a very short girl with her curly brown hair pulled into a ponytail. She was also very pregnant. She seemed to be giving Jeremiah a pretty good fight as she struggled against him, "Let me go, you cheatin' bastard!" "Girl, calm the fuck down! You're damn near six months pregnant for Christ sake! Quit fightin' me!"


Jeremiah finally got his arms wrapped around her from behind, holding them down as she struggled. Jay ran past me and went over to her, "Damn, Candace, they're my friends. Now, you need to seriously calm down 'fore you hurt that baby. Don't make Jeremiah have to hold you down cuz I know you got better sense than to start fightin' when you're six months pregnant. All you're doin' is riling that baby up and you're gonna make it meaner than a rattlesnake if ya don't calm that shit down." My beautiful boy sure did have a way with words. She closed her eyes and started taking deep breaths. Jeremiah was whispering in her ear…I couldn't hear everything he said but eventually she seemed calmer. Opening her brown eyes, she looked at Jasper and raised an eyebrow, "They're your friends?" Jay nodded, "Yeah, this is Emmett and his girlfriend, Rosalie…that's Alice and this is Edward." She still seemed suspicious, "So, is Alice, Edward's girlfriend?" Looking a little nervous, Jay shook his head. But then she smiled and nodded at me, "Is he your boyfriend?" Looking even more nervous, Jay nodded. Then trying to wriggle out of Jeremiah's arms, she giggled, "Let me go, I'm fine now." Jeremiah didn't looked convinced and I must admit, I was a little leery myself. But he did, very slowly remove his arms from around her. When she smiled, she was very pretty. "Wow, Jay…he's smokin' hot. Way to go." Nodding a quick thanks, Jay still looked nervous and I couldn't understand why because she seemed to be okay now. She turned to Alice and started walking over to her. She held out her hand and smiled, "Hi, I'm Candace." Letting out a breath she had been holding, Alice took her hand and smiled, "I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you, Candace."


But Candace seemed to be staring down at Alice's hand as she held it for a moment. Then her eyes narrowed and raised up to Jeremiah's as she yelled, "Oh my god! She's got a French manicure! I know how much you love that shit! You fucked this whore didn't you! I know you did, she's your exact fuckin' type!" Alice's mouth dropped open and Jeremiah jumped in between them, "Really it ain't none of your business who I fuck since you broke up with me! You do recall that, don't ya, baby girl? When you broke up with me! And you really should be glad that Alice ain't a whore cuz it sure as fuck wasn't me that stopped us…" Everyone cringed as her jaw dropped. Emmett leaned over to me and whispered, "Man, that's gotta be the dumbest thing ever to say to your baby's mama…" I agreed…I was gay and even I knew better than to say something like that to a hormonal pregnant woman. She drew back her fist…she wasn't going to smack him, she was getting ready to knock his head off. "You son of a…" He caught her fist and, once again, held her arms down as his arms wrapped around her, "I've told you, Candy…quit tryin' to hit me like a god damn man cuz you ain't one…I would never hit you but you pull that shit with the wrong guy and he's gonna hurt you. What I wanna know is why the hell you showin' up here now when I've been callin' you for two mother fuckin' weeks? Why now?" She huffed and stomped her feet trying to get free…she was very feisty…and a little scary. "I just wanted to see is all!" Jeremiah rolled his eyes and let her go. She spun around and glared at him as he crossed his arms, all traces of humor gone from his face, "Bullshit, Candace. Tell me the truth cuz I've been beggin' you for weeks to talk to me, to let me take you to your doctor's appointments…so I wanna know why you're here now." Finally, she threw her arms up and screamed, "Billy told me you were all holed up with some prissy ass city girl! You ain't s'posed to find nobody else! You're leavin' in two days!" "So, you don't want me but you don't want no one else to want me either. As a matter of fact, I'm not leavin'. I'm not goin' to boot camp…I don't wanna miss the first four years of my baby's life…"


Now she rolled her eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm, "How the hell you plannin' on supportin' this baby? You gonna go crawlin' back to your old job? You think we're gonna raise this baby on 8 bucks an hour? God knows you ain't a genius but even you're smart enough to know it ain't enough!" That caused Suzie to snap, "Bitch, who you callin' dumb? The smartest thang ever came out your mouth was my brother's dick! Say somethin' mean to him again and I swear to God, after that baby comes out, I'm whoopin' your mother fuckin' ass…" Jay stepped between them now as Jeremiah sat down on the porch behind him, looking so defeated that I had a feeling Suzie may have been right about her. Suzie and Candace were arguing with my poor baby stuck in the middle. Then I heard Alice's small voice speak up, "He stayed up all night talking about you…how you met when you were seven years old and started dating in the seventh grade…he talked about how crazy it makes him when you push him away…he wants to be with you and be a family…money isn't everything…" Candace laughed and rolled her eyes, "That's easy for a rich bitch like you to say…some of us ain't so lucky to be born with a silver spoon up our ass…" That couldn't be further from the truth, Alice's money had not come easy. Jay started to say something but Alice's voice broke through, much stronger this time as she walked over to Candace, "Actually, my parents were just stoners, old school hippie types, they owned a little diner…I remember that music was always playing…they were always dancing and laughing…but when I was ten my dad got sick…he went in for a minor surgery but someone messed up…they gave him a drug that he was severely allergic to and he never woke up. My mom got a huge settlement and I got yearly installments. After that, my mom decided to go back to school to take her mind off of my dad. I started seeing her less and less. Then she started her own clothing business and now she spends 80% of the time out of the country. I haven't even seen her in over four months so when I tell you that family and love are more important than money, trust me, I know what I'm talking about because no matter how much I buy or spend…I lost two people I love and I would give everything I own to get them back." Jeremiah's mouth hung open and I guessed that Alice hadn't told him of her past. I doubted her mother even knew she was in Texas right now. Then Alice smiled, "So, if you're smart, you'll be a little nicer to him because if you don't want him, I'll gladly take him off your hands." She winked at Jeremiah while Jay held Candace back and then she turned to the Jeep, "Come on, ladies…we've got shopping to do."


Rosalie gave Em a quick kiss and Suzie smiled smugly at Candace before they both followed Alice and hopped in the Jeep. Once they were gone, Jay let go of Candace and she just stood there a minute with her eyes closed, taking deep breaths. Eventually she opened them and looked over at him, actually appearing to be remorseful, "I'm sorry, Jeremiah…it's just…I worry about money cuz I remember what it felt like to get that phone call at 3 o'clock in the mornin' from the jailhouse…I remember what it felt like sittin' in that courtroom when you were facin' five years for stealin' cars…you just got off probation…I just worry that if you don't go to the army, then you're gonna end up in prison, just like Brandon…" He sighed as he looked up at her, "That ain't gonna happen…and I ain't goin' to the army…that's what you wanted, not me…so I just need to know two things, darlin…do you love me and do you wanna try and work shit out between us?" She spoke quietly, "You know I do, it's just that…" Interrupting her he shook his head, "We've given my neighbors a good enough show already…let's go inside cuz we gotta whole lotta shit to talk about…" Jeremiah told us he'd back in awhile and they went inside to talk. Jay let out a breath, pulled out a cigarette and mumbled, "Holy shit…it's like the god damn Jerry Springer show…" I sat down next to him as he sat on the edge of the porch, "What's the Jerry Springer show?" That caused him to laugh softly and just shake his head, "It ain't nothin' you need to worry 'bout, babe." Just then, my phone chimed and I pulled it out to see a text from my dad saying it was okay to go now. "Who's that?" I shoved my phone back in my pocket and smiled, "It's just my dad. He went over to check on your dad today and was letting me know that everything's okay." Jay smiled, "Carlisle went over there to check on my dad?" Nodding, I looked over into his pretty blue eyes, "Yeah. He wanted to make sure it was safe for you to go." Now Em smiled as he sat on the other side of Jay, "Your mom and dad are pretty amazing, Edward. It's just like…they care about us…all of us and they


don't even really have to. I was having a lot of problems with my dad over the summer and Carlisle always let me rant about it…and your mom spent a lot of time with Alice and Rose too. We even got Brady to go fishing with us, me, Peter and your dad. It was fucking hilarious watching him try and bait the hook!" That caused me and Jay to both laugh out loud because I could just picture Brady trying to bait his hook without having to actually touch the bait. Jay turned his head and looked at Em, "What's goin' on with your dad, man?" Em just shrugged, "Same old bullshit, man. I've got one year of school left and he's been pushing me so fucking hard about football and college. I told him I was gonna go wherever Rose went and he flipped out…he said that it's okay for me to date Rosalie for now 'cause she's pretty and rich and a cheerleader…but that he doesn't want me to be so serious with her…that she's not good for my future. He thinks that I need to concentrate on football more because he has dreams of me playing on a national level someday. Let's just forget, for a moment, that the chance of being drafted in the NFL and actually succeeding at it are like one in a million…but that's not even what I wanna do…I love football, being part of a team and shit but it's just a game, something I do for fun. I have no fucking clue what I wanna do after high school but whatever it is, Rose is gonna be there." Jay socked him in the arm and laughed, "Fuck your dad, dude…it's your life…live it how you wanna live it." Laughing, Em socked him back, "Dude? You gonna let me live with you when I get kicked out?" I couldn't help but chime in, "You could always stay at my house, Em…you know my mom and dad would love to have you there." He smiled big enough for me to see the dimple in his cheek, "Yeah, your dad already told me I'd always have a room at his house…they told Alice and Rose the same thing…hell, I think they'd adopt us all if that's what we wanted." Looking down at the grass, I shrugged, "They wanted a bigger family with lots of kids but I have so many problems that they had to focus all of their attention on me. Now that I'm able to function on my own a little better, they can spread themselves around more. I can tell how happy it makes them to just be around all of you…I can see it my mom's eyes and hear it in my dad's voice. All of you are family and that's all they ever wanted." Jay nudged me and smiled, "You're the reason we all started comin' around…you gave them the family they always wanted so don't feel bad about takin' up all their time when you were little…" That made me feel better because my parents wanted a house full of kids and now they seemed to always have it…because of my friends…but I would never


forget that Jasper had been my lifeline, anchoring me so that I could reach out to other people and make wonderful friends who have become part of my family. We could hear yelling again coming from inside the house and Jay jumped up, "Shit, they're gonna be at it for awhile, let's go on over to my dad's house and check in…" He popped his head in the door and yelled, "Goin' to my dad's, be back in a little while!" Then he shut the screen door behind him and we started walking. I noticed that most everybody seemed to know who Jay was because they would say 'hey' to him as we passed. He'd just do a little head nod and keep on his way. Once we got to Wayne's house, I noticed that my father's car was still parked out front. We climbed the porch and Jay opened the screen door as we followed in behind him. It looked different than the last time I had seen it, when Jay and I were leaving. The living room was actually pretty clean and there was a new coffee table. I also saw some pictures hanging on the wall now. We could see the kitchen from the living room and my dad and Peter were sitting at a small kitchen table drinking coffee. Wayne was standing at the sink, pouring himself a cup and he smiled over at us, "Ya'll want some coffee?" Jay was taking in the overall improvement of the house as well as he looked around slowly, "Um…yeah, black, please." Me and Em said no thank you, so Wayne pulled down another mug and poured Jay a cup of coffee. I watched as Jasper cautiously took the cup, raising an eyebrow to his dad, "You okay, dad?" Wayne sighed as he stirred the sugar in his mug, "Yeah, I'm alright, son…after I dropped your granny off, I wanted a drink bad…I ended up at the bar but the bartender's a good buddy of mine…he wouldn't give me nothin' stronger than a Pepsi. I ended up callin' Dave, he's my sponsor and I went to one of them meetin's…" Jasper's face lit up, "You mean an AA meeting?" Wayne nodded as he looked down at his coffee, "Yeah, I've been goin' for a couple weeks now…it was late by the time I left so…sorry I didn't come back…" Jay shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee, "You gotta take care of yourself, dad…you did the right thing."


My dad spoke up, "So, your dad was telling us about a great place to go fishing…you know we're leaving tomorrow so maybe we could all go out today, unless you have other plans?" Jasper smiled, "We can go fishin' but I gotta go back for Jeremiah." We all sat around the kitchen and talked a little while. Wayne told Jasper that he had put in for a new route at work that would take him through Seattle once every two weeks, he was a truck driver. I could tell that Jasper was really surprised when his dad suggested they meet for dinner on the days he passed through. We talked a little about Jeremiah and Wayne was hoping he'd come back with us because he thought he'd have a better chance at making it if he wasn't stuck here. Then Jasper talked about Suzie and the problems she was having here. Peter said that he wouldn't mind if she stayed with them as well, but me and Jay would have to fix up the back room for her. Of course, we agreed. Wayne said he'd talk to her mom but he had a feeling that she'd agree to it as long as Suzie came home for visits often. Eventually, we decided to get ready for our guys day out. Dad and Peter went back to the hotel to get a few things, saying they'd pick up lunch for us to take to the lake but that we should go ahead and eat breakfast before we met them back at Wayne's in an hour. Walking back into Jeremiah's house, I was met with a wonderful smell…biscuits and gravy. Candace was gone and Jeremiah was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Jay smiled and nudged me, "He's a damn good cook…" I smiled, "It smells incredible…" We walked into the kitchen and Jeremiah stirring the gravy, "Hey ya'll…it'll be done in about twenty minutes…" Jay went out back to smoke a cigarette and Em went to take a shower, leaving me alone with Jeremiah. I leaned against the counter across from him and smiled, "Um…need any help?" He turned around laughing, "Fuck yeah, I need all the help I can get, pretty boy." Crossing his arms across his chest, he sighed and his smile was gone, "She don't know what she wants…she says she's scared of rushin' things but maybe we shoulda thought about that 'fore she got pregnant…half the time she acts like she don't even want the baby…she said she'd try if I stayed here but she ain't goin' to Washington…I'm gonna stick around here and try to make things work but…I think I may be raisin' my son by myself…"


I couldn't help but smile at the mention of 'son', "So, you know you're having a boy then?" That brought his smile back, "Yeah, she went to the doctor last week. Holy shit, man…I'm gonna have a son." I nudged him and gave him a crooked smile, "Congratulations, Jeremiah…I really hope that things work out between you and Candace if she makes you happy but even if they don't, you won't have to raise your son all by yourself…you've got friends and family that are willing to help…" He gave me a half hearted smile as he turned around and put the biscuits in the oven. I tried really hard not to look at his ass as he bent over but God help me, I'm only human and he had a fantastic ass. Besides, it was okay to appreciate the beauty around me…Brady would be proud. But I still felt my cheeks heat up when he turned around and almost caught me. "Wow, the um…food smells really good, Jeremiah…did your mom teach you how to cook?" He shook his head, "No, not really…I mean, I learned from a few of her recipe books and shit but…she got real sick a few years ago…breast cancer…Suzie was only ten and I was fourteen. Mama got so sick with her chemo that she couldn't even get outta bed. I got tired of watchin' Suzie eat bologna sandwiches for dinner every night so I just started tryin' to cook. I sucked at it for awhile but eventually I got pretty good. I like it…it gives me somethin' else to focus on when life sucks…" "I'm really sorry, Jeremiah…" He smiled, "You won't be when you taste my biscuits and gravy." After breakfast, my dad picked us up at Wayne's house and we all made our way out to the lake. The day was spent fishing and eating and chatting and playing around…it was a perfect day. The girls returned later and after a long talk with Barb, she agreed to let Suzie come to Forks. She was thrilled but still very worried about her brother staying behind. We ended up staying a couple more days to get everything with Suzie settled and my mom just had to go out baby shopping for Jeremiah.


He was floored when she brought in bag after bag full of bibs, clothes, diapers, bottles…she even bought him a small crib that he could keep in his room until he could get a place of his own. She was so excited about the bedding set she found with cowboys and pick up trucks all over it. Alice bought the baby a little t-shirt that said, "If you think I'm cute, you should see my dad." She advised him not to tell Candace it was from her. It was hard saying good bye to everyone and Suzie cried and almost stayed when she thought about not seeing her nephew as soon as he was born…but my parents assured her that we'd fly out as soon as Candace was admitted to the hospital so she wouldn't miss anything. As Jasper and I held hands in the back seat of my dad's SUV, I fell asleep, having been exhausted from a summer full of new experiences…some bad but mostly good… And my dreams weren't haunted with memories of my past…they were filled with hope for a future full of family and full of love.


Chapter Forty-Nine Playlist : You're The One by The Black Keys Jay's POV I ain't never been so happy in my whole damn life to see the dark rainy sky…this was better than the warm Texas sun any day. It was getting late by the time we got back so everyone decided to crash at the Cullen's house for the night. Me and Eddie were gonna get started on Suzie's room tomorrow and Esme was gonna take her shopping for some winter clothes. Suzie had no idea what she was in for when winter hit. Carlisle told us to call Brady and Tommy to see if they wanted to stay the night too so we could catch up on everything. I was a little relieved when Tommy declined but couldn't wait to see Brady again. He practically jumped in my arms, going a hundred miles a minute about how happy he was that I was staying here and how he had been so worried he was never gonna see me again. I had been worried too…I woulda missed the crazy little fucker. So the girls stayed in my old room and all us guys slept in Edward's room. It was the last night that we'd get to sleep in the same bed…well, I'd probably just sneak over on the weekend but still, I held my boy close, falling asleep really, really happy and content. The next day, we went back to Peter's house and got settled in. Brady and Tommy had kept up on Charlotte's garden while we were gone and Peter was anxious to go sit outside and watch over it. I worried about him but I understood when he said it made him feel closer to her because she started that garden when they first got married and he remembered all the years of her toiling around it, proud as could be when she finally got it just the way she wanted. It really was beautiful, with bright colored flowers everywhere and stone benches to sit on. Edward and I got started on cleaning out the back room. There was some old bedroom furniture in it so once the room was cleared out, we started cleaning the dresser and chest. As I was polishing the old wood, I heard Brady and Em come in.


Em was carrying two buckets of paint and Brady was bouncing with excitement, "Hey guys, we found some old paint lying around that we thought Suzie might like for her room." I quirked an eyebrow at the two unopened cans, "You found two unused cans of butter cream paint just lying around?" Em just shrugged with a grin on his face and Brady smiled, "We thought it would be nice for her…she said last night that yellow was her favorite color and we thought it might help remind her of the sun, since she'll hardly ever see it here." My friends were really something. Emmett helped me paint while Edward and Brady went to work on the rest of the house, cleaning and then making us all lunch. Peter had told us that this was our home now too and it really felt like one. We all sat on the back porch and ate lunch with him as we talked and laughed…it seemed to really help him and for awhile, the old Peter was back. When the girls all came back, Suzie actually started crying when she saw her room. Esme had bought her a new satin comforter with little yellow and pink flowers all over it and it matched perfectly. And Peter had us put a few vases of wildflowers in her room because he said that women always loved flowers. I added a few daisies cuz I knew they were her favorite. Esme and Rose cooked dinner later that night and Carlisle joined us after he got off work. We all sat around again on the porch as we ate, since the kitchen wasn't really big enough to hold us all. Carlisle gave me instructions about Peter's medication and let me know to call him if I had any questions or saw anything I was concerned about. After everyone cleared out, me and Suzie finished the dishes and I took out the trash. Once Peter was asleep for the night, I stepped out on the back porch for a smoke when she came shuffling out in her fuzzy yellow slippers, "Hey Jay…it sure is pretty out here, huh?" She leaned out over the rail and looked out to the garden, breathing deeply with a huge grin. I smiled back, "Yeah, it's beautiful." Giggling, she raised an eyebrow and her dimples were deep, "Is this how it is all the time? I mean, is everyone always around and helpin' each other out and stuff?" Nodding, I shrugged, "Yeah, we're a family."


She bit her lip and looked out to the garden again, "I wish bubby was here. I've only been here one day and I already feel like part of the family…like special and stuff…it's really kinda awesome." Nudging into her, I laughed, "You are family, Suzie Q." She rolled her eyes and smiled, "You know what I mean…I love our family, I do…but this feels different…like, normal…like how it's s'posed to be. Mama tried, God knows she did, but things were always so hard…never enough money or one of us was always gettin' in trouble…when she got sick and bubby started takin' care of me, it was the most normal I ever felt cuz dinner was on the table every night, no matter how bad it was in the beginnin' and he helped me with my homework after…it was, like, our routine…he's gonna be a good daddy…I just hope Candace don't mess his head up too bad…" She was still really worried about her brother. For a long time, they only had each other so being away from him was really hard on her. I wasn't her bubby but I loved her like a little sister, so I put my arm around her and she buried her face in my chest, "Don't you worry about Jeremiah, darlin'…he can take care of himself and you're gonna see him at Thanksgiving…maybe sooner if that baby comes…" We talked for awhile longer and she was a bundle of nerves about school wondering if she'd be able to keep up. I knew she could if she tried. I told her to take my room for the night so the paint could set and I took the couch. I was starting to drowse off watching Scarface on TNT and giggling every time they dubbed out the cuss words with somethin' crazy. My phone vibrated on the coffee table and I smiled as I picked it up, "Hey babe…" "Hey Jay…I just wanted to tell you I love you before I went to sleep…" Warmth washed over me as I curled into my pillow, "Love you too, Eddie. It's gonna be hard sleepin' without you…" He sighed, "I know…I miss lying next to you…hearing your heart beat…but I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Smiling like a dumb ass, I whispered, "You're gonna see me every day for the rest of your life, baby boy…" And for the first tine, I knew I was telling him the truth…it felt great to no longer have that dark cloud of gloom lurking overhead anymore. Other people may see those dark skies when they look up, but I'm blinded by an eclipse…all I can see is sunshine in my life now. "Promise?"


I smiled as I listened to his pretty voice, knowing that if I needed him or he needed me, we weren't far away, "I swear, Eddie." We talked for a few minutes longer before finally saying goodnight. I fell asleep easily and with a smile on my face. The next day, Emmett and Tommy came over to hang out with Peter so Edward and I went over to Jacob's house to see him and Bella. Suzie was gonna go with us so we could introduce her. I decided to try and get along with Tommy, for Em and Edward's sakes, so I offered him a cup of coffee. He smiled sheepishly as he took the mug and mumbled, "Thanks." I felt awkward but pushed it aside, as I cleared my throat, "Hey, um…thanks for takin' care of Charlotte's garden and watchin' out for Peter." He sighed as he sat down at the small kitchen table, "You don't have to thank me…I like Peter…" Then he chuckled a little, "He calls me Elmo…" That caused me to laugh as I leaned against the kitchen counter, "Elmo?" Raising his bright aqua eyes up to mine and rolling them, he smiled, "He heard Brady telling me to quit being so emo…Peter thought he said elmo…" I couldn't help but chuckle as Peter came walking into the kitchen, rustling up Tommy's hair as he smiled, "Mornin' Elmo, you boys ready to go fishin'?" I think it was a good thing that me and Tommy may not particularly like each other, but we were both big enough to be civil with one another cuz sometimes you just gotta deal. Peter, Em, and Tommy left shortly after and Edward picked me and Suzie up. It was nice to see Jacob and Bella again, and of course, Brady was there too. It kind of stung though, to hear that Jacob was still hanging out with the homophobic Rez boys that I once considered my friends. He said that he didn't agree with them but that they had all been friends since they were babies and he couldn't just cut them out completely. It hurt me a little but it hurt Brady worse, being his cousin and all. But, again, sometimes you just gotta deal. The last week of summer flew by way too fast and I was well aware that our little slice of Heaven would quickly be turning into the hell known as high school. Edward and I had spent some time preparing for our return cuz we knew it was gonna be ugly. We'd have our friends, of course, but after Edward's


stay in the hospital and my being shipped off to Texas and then rescued by Eddie, the other kids at school were guaranteed to be brutal. But we decided that we were just gonna face it head on together and not let the mother fuckers who hated on us, bring us down. We were stronger than any stupid high school bullshit and it was gonna be tough, but not impossible to stay level headed. Peter sat me down, though, the night before school started and gave me some advice that I was gonna try hard as hell to follow… "Remember this, son…it only takes about fifteen seconds to do somethin' that can't be undone…so when somebody does somethin' that pisses you off…just stop and take fifteen seconds to think 'fore you react. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react. Fifteen seconds can land you in the principal's office, or expelled from school or even in prison, just ask your cousin Brandon, I'm sure he'll tell ya the same thing. So, I need you to try and keep your head about you, boy, cuz you're livin' under my roof now and I expect just a few things from you…good grades, good behavior, and honesty. You've been given a second chance to do shit right…so don't fuck it up…" He gave me a wink as he slowly stood up and I smiled, "I won't mess up again, Peter…but can I ask for somethin' from you?" Smirking he leaned on his walker, "You can ask…" "Just promise me that you'll let me know if you need anything…I mean, even if it's just to talk…" He slowly nodded and gave me a soft smile, "I will. Now don't stay up too late, I'm gonna go have a talk with Suzie 'fore she goes to bed. Remember, boy, peaks and valleys…I hope you're ready for that push down into the valley cuz you're gonna have to be tough to reach that next peak. But just keep on pushin' cuz I promise ya, it's gonna get better. Night, son." "Night, Peter." But now as me and Eddie pulled into the parking lot, I could feel the panic rolling off of him in waves. So I slipped my hand into my backpack and then reached over, taking his sweaty palm and placing a packet of honey in it as I grinned, "Think happy thoughts, darlin." Suzie giggled in the back seat and Eddie smiled as he tore open the packet and began sucking on it…which wasn't helping the situation in my jeans any. "Thanks, Jay…I love honey…oh, and you too…" My little pooh bear…the boy was just too damn cute.


"You ready, Eddie?" He nodded as he licked the last of the honey from his cherry lips, "Yeah, let's get this over with…and remember, Jay, if someone insults me, let me handle it…I love you but I need to fight my own battles and you need to keep your nose clean because I will not risk losing you again so ,here, you're my best friend and my boyfriend…not my hero…" Peter's words wrung in my ears and I simply nodded, "Yeah, babe…but ya know I got your back…" His lips turned up into the crooked smile as he whispered, "And maybe if you're a good boy this week, you'll get to have my back this weekend again in the Volvo…or the truck…" Fuck yeah I was gonna be good… Cuz Peter had given me his old truck so I wouldn't have to break into the money granny left me to get a car and we hadn't christened that sucker properly yet. We were both feeling better once we actually left the car but our blissful little bubble didn't last long. It started with staring in the parking lot…and then whispering in the hallways…and by the time we made it to our lockers, there was straight out laughing and snide remarks like, "Homos" and "Crazy" flying around all over the place. And then Newton walked by with Eric, "Too bad the fag can't even kill himself right…they never should have let him outta the nuthouse!" The boys broke out into laughter and I had to close my eyes and count to fifteen cuz if I looked at my baby boy right now, it would only take me ten mother fuckin' seconds to go to prison cuz I would snap those bastards necks… God, it physically hurt to restrain myself but then I heard Edward's voice, sounding kinda bored, "Newton, it's a well known fact that these two fags have both already beaten the shit out of you…" I opened my eyes and saw Eddie turn around after putting some books in his locker, to face the boys without an ounce of fear in him, "So, if I were you, I wouldn't taunt the 'crazy' boy…" Newton noticeably gulped and Edward broke out into a sweet crooked smile, "Because I could lose it at any moment and go psycho fairy on your ass, painting your toe nails glittery pink and color coordinating your outfit so that you actually match for a change…" I couldn't stop the laughter as I watched Newton's face screw up in horror before Eric started dragging him away, mumbling about crazy gay people.


Looking over at me sheepishly, I held out my fist and smiled, "Nice, Eddie." He bumped it back and nodded, "Thanks, Jay." The rest of the day passed pretty uneventful except for the occasional snicker or taunt but we just did our best to ignore them. I was still in the regular classes so I had a couple classes with Tommy and Suzie but Brady and Edward were in the advanced classes. However, I had talked with Mrs. Cope before the school year started and the teachers agreed that if I excelled in my classes during the first semester and didn't have any disciplinary problems, then they would let me try out the advanced classes next semester. So I just stayed as focused as I could on what I was learning and not what the other kids were saying. With Emmett, Alice, and Rose being seniors, we really only got to see them during lunch but it was kinda obvious that people were shunning them too by the looks and whispers of the older kids that passed our table. Brady sighed as he played with the straw in his milk, "Um…do you guys want us to sit at another table so they'll leave you alone?" Emmett spoke with a mouth full of pizza, "Fuck 'em!" A group of guys with their arms strategically placed around their girlfriends, walked by and coughed while laughing, "Fags!" Alice just smirked at Rose and raised an eyebrow. Rose nodded and the next thing I know, those two girls are lip locked. An audible gasp came from the onlookers and then the guys were adjusting their jeans and cat calling. When the kiss ended, Alice smiled and stood to face the group of guys that had been watching, "So, you're okay with a little lesbian action but gay guys are gross, right?" The jerks at least had the decency to be a little red faced but they still answered with cocky arrogance, "Lesbians are hot, fags are nasty." She returned the confidence as she smirked, "Just imagine this, boys…as hot as you think lesbians are, there are many, many women who think a little boy on boy action is hot too…so when you're all sweaty in the backseat of a car, fumbling with the bra strap, there's a very good chance that the girl underneath you, has thought about those two boys making out and is using it as a way to get hot enough to actually want to do it with you." She turned her nose up and sat back down as we all broke out into laughter. The guys still snickered and walked away but not before calling Alice a dyke. Of course, she just rolled her eyes and kindly told them to fuck off but by the look in Rosie's eyes I could tell that she wasn't gonna let that shit go.


She flashed Alice an evil little grin before standing and walking over to the merry clan of assholes. We watched as she started talking to one of the dickheads girlfriend, a bright excited smile breaking across the young girl's face as she handed Rose her phone. A moment later, she was smirking as she held it up for the boyfriend to see something on the screen. Then she smiled at the girl and handed the phone back before saying something then walking back to us. When she sat down, Alice snickered, "Oh Rosalie, Mistress of Doom, what did you do?" Rose just shrugged, "That girl, her name is Aimee and she tried out for the squad last year but didn't make it. Anyway, I told her about Hannah breaking her ankle last week and that we needed a replacement. So when she gave me her phone, so I could give her my number and setup a time to try out, I happened to glance through her saved videos and low and behold, there was the one of Eddie and Jay making out that got passed around last year. I showed it to her boyfriend and told her that if she dumped the prick then she would get my vote, which is really all she needs since I'm head cheerleader." That was just one of the reasons I loved Rose…she was an evil bitch but it suited me just fine. Edward's face shot up in flames, "People actually saved those?" Alice munched on a carrot as she pulled out her phone and showed it to us, the image right there of me kissing my boy senseless on the roof of the car while the rain poured down, "Yep, I saved it." I laughed and Edward looked even more embarrassed as Rose shrugged, "Yeah me too." Then Brady's cheeks tinted as he looked down at his half eaten pizza, "Um, yeah…me too." Em held his hands up and shook his head, "Not me, dude." Tommy sighed, "Me neither." Suzie giggled as she and Alice watched the video, "Ya'll are just too damn cute!" Edward laughed with rosy red cheeks, "God, my friends are pervs." Smiling, I finally started eating and shrugged, "I dunno, I think it's kinda flattering. And you're a perv a too, must've gotten it from that fine ass daddy of yours…" His whole face was on fire now and I couldn't help but fuck with him cuz…I dunno, that shit was fun to me sometimes and he knew it didn't mean anything.


I just loved that cute blush. Now Brady started laughing, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind playing doctor with him…" Then Rose, "I know, right! He's freaking gorgeous!" Tommy smiled, "Yeah he's really nice too." Alice smiled sympathetically and put her tiny hand on Edward's shoulder, "Seriously, Edward…your dad is hot. Really, really hot…" I didn't think Edward could get any redder than he was without popping a blood vessel…but I wrong cuz then Em held his hands up again and smiled, "I don't think your dad's hot, dude…but now your mom, she's badass…" Alice held out her fist for Em to bump, "I'll second that one, big boy…" He bumped her fist as they all broke into laughter. I put my hand on my baby boy's shoulders and squeezed, "Alright, let's quit pickin' on Eddie…" But then he looked up at me and smirked with red cheeks, "It's okay, Jay…I mean, your cousin Jeremiah is one fine ass cowboy…" Rosalie, Alice, and Brady quickly agreed while Suzie rolled her eyes and I just shrugged with a cocky smile right back, "Yeah, he's a Whitlock…we're good lookin' mother fuckers, that's like our shit…" When the school day finally ended, I breathed a sigh of relief cuz yeah it sucked, but it could've been worse. For a few weeks, things sucked but they were manageable as long as we all stuck together as much as possible. I kept focused on my studies and makin' out with Eddie as much as possible to relieve stress cuz lately football hadn't been as therapeutic. A bunch of the guys started singling me out in every damn practice, and I was getting thrown to the ground and stomped by three or four guys who "forgot" to run the right play. Em would bitch to the coach about them blowing their blocks to gang up on me and they would get seated on the bench for a couple plays but then they'd come back and do the same thing again. But really, those assholes did me a favor cuz by the time the games rolled around on Friday night, I had so much venom that I was seein' red and ready to tear some fuckers heads off. So I focused all my anger into the game and I currently held the school record for most sacks in a single game. Edward finally tried out for the track team and made it. I didn't know much about track but I loved watching his strong thighs flex as he ran and I'm not gonna lie, his ass looked fuckin' great in those little blue shorts.


He didn't have the same kinda resistance on the track team that I had on the football team so I was grateful for that. After a month or so of being the hottest topic of gossip, other kids started doing stupid shit, like getting wasted at parties and throwing up on Chief Swan, or getting caught cheating with their best friend's girl or boy…eventually, the shit about us died down and fell to the bottom on the list of scandalous behavior by the teens of Forks, Washington. And then things were strangely…normal. Edward and me alternated between him picking me and Suzie up in the mornings, or me and Suzie would pick him up and we'd ride in together. We'd all meet up in the parkin' lot and chill for a few minutes before we went our separate ways. Em and Rose always stuck with Alice and either me, Edward or Suzie always stuck with Brady. Those two were the smallest of the group, but also had the biggest mouths and a flair for the dramatic so they tended to get picked on a little worse than the rest of us. But that flair landed them both in the drama club and Ali got the starring role in the fall program, "David and Lisa." And she was excellent as the hauntingly charming but disturbed young girl. Brady was a costume designer and he did a great job too cuz everything looked so authentic, they were both very talented. Rose just fell into her Ice Queen mode at school, really earning her Mistress of Doom title, making sure that any girl who threatened to take her throne gets a royal kick in the ass. She had always been one to rule with fear so the insults and taunts only added fuel to her fire. She's been teaching her bitchy secrets to Suzie so that she can take over the role of "the don't-fuck-with-me bitch," when Rose graduates. Rosie tried to get her to try out for cheerleading but Suzie said that wasn't really her thing…she said she was gonna join the softball team instead cuz her with a baseball bat was way scarier than her with some pom poms. I agreed, and I was thankful that she wouldn't be wearin' them short ass cheerleadin' skirts to school. Though that skin tight baseball uniform would still earn more than a decent amount of hootin' and hollerin' from the assholes at school but I was proud cuz she had been a real good girl so far, tellin' all the douche bags that asked her out that she didn't really wanna date right now. She preferred to spend her extra time with the horses, Smokie and Augie or her girlfriends, mainly Brady. They had gotten pretty close, having a sleepover once a month with a few of their friends…she said that he was officially in the circle of love amongst the girls and they all could offer him a certain amount of protection. She was like the teenage Godfather…I was pretty proud.


Me and my mom had started writing each other and my dad actually kept his word about meetin' up with me every couple of weeks for dinner. We'd meet at a diner in Seattle and talk for a couple hours. He filled me in on how much Candace and Jeremiah were struggling right now. I talked to Jeremiah every few days but he'd always just make jokes and try to keep the discussion light any time I asked how he was doin'. He was workin' and they were renting a little half double. Candace was due right around Thanksgiving, so it would be any day now. And Jeremiah might've been struggling but he was damn excited about his son coming. And I'd tell dad about school and football. He said he'd try to make a game before the season ended and I kinda hoped he would. But, of course, things weren't perfect between us and there had been a few times when our smart ass mouths would get the best of us if a sensitive subject was touched on. Like how he kept askin' me if I was sure I was gay at every dinner we had, just swearin' that maybe I was too young to decide somethin' like that… I hated that he thought it was some kinda choice I made, like I was just lying there in bed one day and thought, hmm…I think I'll like boys cuz I wanna get picked on and I'll have to be tougher cuz people are bigoted assholes, even the people who are supposed to just love you unconditionally no matter what you are… Yeah that sounds like so much fun. People who think this shit is a choice, are just fuckin' stupid. After a couple of heated arguments and a warning from the manager of the restaurant, he finally dropped the subject and we tried our best to just separate for a few minutes to calm down when things started to get out of hand. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't but I still felt like even if things weren't perfect…they were better than they were before so it seemed like we were making progress. And the Doc always said that was the most important thing in life…to just keep progressing…keep growing and learning… Edward had been seeing a new Doc since we got back cuz Doc Greene said he was just too close to us to be dissociated anymore. So he referred Edward to a colleague of his and I decided that I didn't need therapy anymore. As long as I had someone to vent to every now and then, I was good. And I always had Eddie…and a lot of other people too. He had been seeing his new therapist once a week since the beginning of school but they finally lessened it to twice a month now. He had been doing surprisingly well since school started, only having a few nightmares but not winding up in the shower because of them. We had our moments though when we were quicker to snap at each other when our daily frustrations became


overwhelming…like the day after his first nightmare when I asked him what was wrong cuz he had dark circles underneath his pretty green eyes and he mumbled that he just didn't sleep well. I asked him if he had a nightmare and he blew… "Yes, Jasper! I had a fucking nightmare! Just like before, nothing has changed and I really don't need another stupid 'everything is going to be okay' speech cause it's all bullshit!" I sat there shocked while he jumped out of the Volvo and slammed the door, stomping into school without me. It hurt but I gave him some space until he came to me at lunchtime, asking if I would sit outside with him so we could talk. Of course I did. He apologized for yelling at me and confessed that the nightmare hadn't been as bad as the ones before but it scared him because he thought he was making real improvement and this seemed like a setback. I reached underneath the table and grabbed his hand, it was already chilly outside so there weren't many people out but we had been trying to watch our public displays of affection, not wanting to draw more heat than we already had. Looking into his pretty green eyes, I sighed, "Eddie, you know that it's not gonna disappear overnight…it's gonna take a lot of time and work and even then, the nightmares may not ever stop completely. But just remember, darlin…they're only dreams and those demons can't hurt you anymore. And you are doin' a lot better, baby…so anytime you need to holler your pretty little head off, you can holler at me cuz you're fuckin' sexy when you're pissed…" I grinned and he giggled and all was right with the world again. Or as right as the world could get, I guess. He was always there for me when I lost it too, like the time after one of my many beat downs by my teammates… I was icing down my shoulder in the locker room after practice, my body was black and blue but all I wanted to do was just hit something so I stayed after and beat the shit out of the heavyweight bag. Everyone else had gone but Edward found me and gasped when he saw my bruised back and shoulders, quickly coming over to help take care of me. But I was still fuming with the need to hit something so badly and not wanting to feel his comforting touch cuz I knew that it would calm me down, I flinched


and shrugged his hand off as I huffed, "I'm a god damn man, Edward, I don't need your fucking help!" Hurt washed across his face quickly but soon it was replaced with a look of stone as he raised his chin defiantly, "What's wrong, Jay? You want to fight?" I growled as I hit the lockers in front of me, "Fuck yeah I wanna fight! I wanna rip those fuckers god damn head off but I can't! No, I gotta be good and not get in no fights so now those sons of bitches think they can just push me around like a god damn pussy! I'm so god damn sick of this shit! I'm gonna fuckin' lose it and kill some fuckin' body if I keep holdin' this shit back!" I was pullin' at my hair when he threw his shirt to the ground and screamed out with emerald eyes, "Fine, Jay! You want to fight? Then let me get the baby oil out of my backpack and we'll fight!" His words stopped me cold and I chuckled as he shuffled through his backpack, pulling out a travel size bottle of baby oil. Now I couldn't stop the grin that came to my face, "You carry baby oil in your backpack?" Holding it up with a sexy crooked smile, he slowly walked over until he was right in front of me. Trailing his soft fingertips down the center of my stomach, he shot a look to a bathroom stall before smiling up at me, "What can I say? I have this super hot boyfriend who's kind of like a boy scout…I mean, soldier, and he taught me to always be prepared. So if you still want to fight, how about we lock ourselves in that stall and you can try to fight me off?" A minute later, our pants were around our ankles and our baby oil slicked hands were jerking each other off in a frenzy. We pushed each other against the walls and pulled one another closer as we stumbled frantically to release. And when it came, the weight of the world went with it and I felt so damn good. All that frustration had melted away cuz in the world of the teenage boy, sex trumped anger…every time. But that was like a month ago and now things were going pretty good. We had fallen into a routine of going out on Saturday night, either alone or with our friends, but then we always spent at least our last two hours alone…usually making out at my house after Peter went to bed or fuckin' in the truck or Volvo. And it was Saturday night now, Thanksgiving break had just started. Candace had been in labor for ten hours already and we were set to fly out to Texas on Monday and spend a few days to see the baby. It was already dark when I got to Edward's house for our date. We hadn't seen each other all day cuz me and Em had gone paintballin' with a few of the guys on the team that weren't dicks and Edward had went shopping with Brady and


Suzie for some gifts for the baby. I went in and talked to Carlisle and Esme for a little bit while I waited for my boy. He had a 1 am curfew and it was already nine o'clock so I was anxious to get outta there. Esme was slicing an apple and I was munching on a piece when Edward came rushing into the kitchen, "Sorry for making you wait, Jay. Are you ready?" I looked up and damn near choked on the apple when I saw Eddie wearin' a pair of tight black jeans distressed with a bronze color and a matching equally tight chocolate t-shirt. I fuckin' loved that color on him cuz it looked so damn good with his pale skin and red lips and bronze hair…and the tightness of the denim on his ass and thighs and the shirt that stretched across his newly forming six pack had struck me stupid cuz the next thing I know, Carlisle is handing me a glass of water and smirking at me. "Are you okay, son? You've been standing there with your mouth hanging open…" I snapped my jaw shut and dropped my eyes from Edward's package, finally aware that his mom and dad were standing right here, watching me eye fuck their only child. I had the decency to blush as I thanked Carlisle for the water and quickly gulped it down, trying to catch my breath again. When I regained composure, I looked back up at Edward who was blushing just as hard as I was, "You look really nice, Eddie." Raising those pretty green eyes to mine, he smiled and spoke softly, "Thanks, Jay." We rushed outta there pretty damn fast to avoid further embarrassment on my part. When we went back to my house, Suzie and Brady were curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and in pajamas complete with fuzzy slippers, hers were yellow…his were rainbow. I was kinda bummed cuz havin' company meant that it was gonna be harder to talk Edward into letting me fuck him in my bedroom. But I was never one to turn down a challenge. They were watching Grease and apparently taking turns singing the Olivia Newton-John songs, cuz according to Brady, she had all the good parts. I had been itchin' to get my boy alone for days now so I just smiled, "Hey um, is Peter asleep yet?"


Suzie raised an eyebrow and grinned, "Why yes he is, Jay…his hearing aid is charging and he took his pills 'fore he went to bed so he'll be out for the rest of the night." Letting out a sigh of relief, I shuffled Edward along, "We're goin' to my room…" Edward's cheeks were pink as he mumbled, "To, um…study…" Brady giggled, "How about a group study session then, Edward?" Now Eddie smiled back at him from over my shoulder, "In your dreams, Brady." His face lit up as he looked at Suzie, "Ooohh, let's go look at 80's pop videos on you tube…I have a sudden need to hear Debbie Gibson's, 'Only In My Dreams'…" They took off to her room as I finally pushed Edward through my door and shut and locked it behind me. I decided that the direct approach was best cuz Eddie was pretty good at seein' through my bullshit. "Eddie, Peter ain't wakin' up tonight and Suzie and Brady won't hear a thing…I'll turn on some music and we can be really, really quiet but I need you, baby. So please…please, let me fuck…" Apparently, he needed it as bad as I did cuz he pulled out his phone, nodding as he whispered, "Turn on some music, I'm setting my alarm for 12:15 just in case, I fall asleep afterwards…" The Black Keys played in the background as we stripped each other down. I couldn't wait to peel those damn jeans off of him and when I did, I was rewarded with a sexy pair of tight black briefs. I groaned and smiled up at him, "Did Brady take you shopping?" He blushed and nodded, "Um, yeah…you don't think I look…stupid?" Shaking my head, I drug them down his legs and started peppering kisses along the newly exposed flesh, "Fuck no…you look so god damn hot, baby boy…" Once we were both stripped bare, we crawled underneath my blanket, our lips and hands never stopping. We took our time, since we had a few hours, and worked each other over leisurely…relishing the slow torture of really working for our release. It was no longer an exploration of each other's bodies cuz we were now in familiar territory…we were at home in each other's bodies as much as we were our own.


So, I knew the route I was taking as I slid down his chest, licking and nipping my way along his lean stomach and relishing the feel of it clenching underneath my tongue. I know my boy liked hard, deep, fast head but given that we had to be quiet, I took it slow. Placing wet kisses along his thighs and pelvic bone, I teased him first as I licked and sucked all around his cock as it pulsed and leaked for attention. Then getting my fingers good and wet, I pressed one inside as I took him deep down my throat. He grabbed my pillow and pulled it over his head, letting out a gasp and moaning like crazy as he pushed against my finger, silently telling me he wanted more. So I deep throated his dick while I finger fucked his ass and he was grinding against my fingers and alternating between fisting my curls and fisting the sheet beneath him. Finally, he threw the pillow to the ground and looked down at me through hazy green eyes and flushed cheeks, pretty bronze hair stickin' up all over the damn place, whispering through labored breaths, "Oh God Jay…I'm gonna cum so fucking hard, baby…" And he did moments later, so I swallowed everything he gave me and I was so god damn worked up now that I didn't even give him time to recover before I stood up on my knees, coated my cock and his ass with lube, and started pushing my way inside his tight hole. He gasped again and I quickly leaned forward, capturing his lips and swallowing his moans now too. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer as his fingers twisted in my curls. I had his knees draped over my forearms and I held his legs wide apart as I kissed him slow and fucked him with deep, long strokes…and it took all I had not to fuck him hard into the mattress but we had to be quiet. I was really thankful for his track team cuz he was pretty damn flexible now. But Eddie and I never stay in one position for too long and soon I was on my back as the boy rode me, slow and deep, his cock now stiff again and trapped between our stomachs as his lips never left mine. My hands were on his ass and my heels dug into the bed as I pushed up into him while pulling him down onto me. I loved the way I could feel his body stretching around my cock…his body fit mine like a glove…like we were made for each other. There was no doubt in my mind that we were. So when our release finally came and we were lying in my bed, sticky and sweaty, still recovering in the blissful aftermath…I took the opportunity to enjoy the familiar feeling of having him in my arms, naked and fully sated, and wishin' like hell that he didn't have to leave in an hour.


But it was okay cuz I'd see him again tomorrow…and the day after that…and the day after that… The moonlight crept in through the window and illuminated his sweet face as he lay sleeping, curled up on my chest while I played with the hair at the nape of his neck. As crazy as it was, this was probably one of my favorite things to do…lie in bed with my baby boy, him sleeping peacefully wrapped around me and my whole body too weak from our lovemaking to feel any pain or stress…this was my Heaven. Because our lives weren't always easy but being together always was…and even if our reality's weren't perfect, I had this little piece of paradise to hold onto and it made all the stupid bullshit in my life, totally worth it. It seemed like no time till we were down in Texas and I was watchin' my cousin glow like I had never seen before as he held his little boy. Jeremiah Jr., or JJ as we dubbed him, looked just like his daddy and I smiled as Eddie whispered, "It's insane how strong your family's genes are…" Carlisle, Esme, and Suzie were here with us and Em, Brady, and Tommy were gonna take turns spending the night with Peter while we were gone cuz he felt a little too worn down for the trip. Candace ended up having a C-section so still had to stay another night in the hospital. So, me, Eddie, and Suzie stayed at his house with him the night before he brought JJ home. They're double was small but it was clean and Jeremiah had totally pimped out JJ's room. It was the only one in the house that was fully decorated with painted blue walls and matching curtains to the pickup truck bedspread Esme had bought him, he said his mama had made them since they couldn't afford to buy nice ones. He had pictures of all the family on the walls and an old rocking chair in the corner that he had sanded and stained, next to a small hand painted book shelf that he found at a yard sale and redone. He was working third shift at a little warehouse outside of town and he seemed to like it alright. Candace and him had been arguing a lot but he hoped it would ease down now that JJ was finally here. We stayed the week and Esme and Aunt Barb pitched in on Thanksgiving dinner, Esme doin' her cookin' at my daddy's house. I couldn't help but smile as I watched Edward lay on a blanket in the middle of the floor next to JJ. He was lying on his side, smiling at the baby as he brushed


his soft fingertips over JJ's hair and face, and then he would giggle when JJ would grab his finger and shake his hand around. The last day we were in Texas, Jeremiah pulled me to the side and asked me if I thought his old truck would make it to Forks…just in case, cuz if Candace did leave him, he wanted to have a back up plan. So I tuned up his truck and changed the oil, and told him that if he ever needed me to just call cuz I could make it down here to him no matter what. It was hard when we left again, especially for Suzie who didn't wanna leave her bubby and nephew but Carlisle and Esme said they would fly the family to Forks for Christmas so JJ could have his first Christmas, be a snowy one. That made Suzie happy and Jeremiah was touched…I don't think Candace was too keen on the idea though. The next few months passed by without major incident and Christmas came and went. Things at school weren't too bad, only the occasional snide remark and football season had ended so no more daily beat downs from my teammates. But I've always heard that revenge is a dish best served cold and after months of waiting, I finally got my payback on the guys from the team. Rosie was having a party during Spring Break when I spotted two of the bastards, drinking rather heavily. I was limiting myself to two beers and Eddie was driving so he wasn't drinking. I smiled at Rose as she saw me eye them from across the yard. She smiled back and nodded, "Go ahead, Jay…if anyone calls the cops, I'll say they crashed the party to start shit and you were defending yourself." I leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead, "Thanks, Rose." Then I finally…finally got to whoop some ass. After those two assholes were lying on the ground, bleeding and holding their broken noses and bruised ribs, I leaned down and whispered in Darren's ear, "Just cuz I'm tryin' to stay outta trouble in school, don't mistake that shit for weakness. You try and give me a hard time again, and I will hunt you down and fuck you up. Do not forget who the fuck you're dealin' with." I went back and had my second beer with a smile on my face and a weight off my shoulders. I knew that Carlisle and Peter wouldn't be happy if they heard about what I did but I refrained from any violent behavior in school and handled this shit outside on safe ground…and that was progress, right? And I think that's the most important thing…


Chapter Fifty Playlist : Beautiful World by Coldplay, Good Life by One Republic Eddie's POV It was hard to believe that Spring Break was already here. The year had flown by in the blink of an eye…well, that's not entirely true because the first few months were a slow, torturous Hell. I wasn't sleeping well because I was very worried for not just me, but all of my friends. We lived in a small town and all of us had effectively outcast ourselves from the "normal" kids. We were all the weirdos…the freaks… It was something I was accustomed to but I hated watching my friends go through that. At first I felt responsible, like if they weren't friends with me then they wouldn't be going through what I had went through almost my whole life. I talked to Doctor Cohen about how I felt and she said that I should pick one of my friends and apologize for getting them outcast…she said it would help my guilt. I thought that was a little weird but I decided to do it anyway. So while Rose and I were waiting for our boys after her cheerleading and my track practices, I decided to apologize to her because, although her and Em were popular enough before they met me that they were able to retain some of their kingdom…a big chunk had abandoned ship. They didn't get it as bad as the rest of us but they still got it and we would all witness the occasional snickers of the bitchy senior girls and some of the guys would call Emmett out as a closet case since most of the guys he hung out with were gay. So, I apologized to her for my reputation bringing hers down. And I'll never forget what she said to me… "Edward, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You're not my only gay friend. And I may be popular but that's because I'm rich and look good in a tight pair of jeans. I've gotten flack for years for being best friends with Alice because according to the so called 'normal' people, she's weird…but they don't see the girl that has always stuck up for me…they don't see the strong, unique, and wonderfully different person she is…they can't see that about any of us because they're just sheep content on following the herd…but us, we're rebels. We are who we are with no exceptions and no apologies…" She gave me a pointed stare and I blushed when she broke into a beautiful smile, "What I'm trying to say is…you didn't make us freaks, Edward…you just joined us."


Doctor Cohen was right…it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders as I couldn't help but smile, "Really?" Sighing she looked over at me with pretty hazel eyes, "Do you really think we're all so perfect? Lord knows I'm a complete bitch sometimes…and Emmett looks and behaves like a typical guy but he's really sensitive and sweet and that doesn't always bode well with the other jocks…Alice is hyperactive and has fits of depression…Jasper can be a scary son of a bitch and a cocky asshole, and Brady's so damn gay that I saw him sneeze one time and glitter just went flying everywhere…" That earned a snort as I burst into laughter, "Thanks, Rosalie." Rose smirked as she tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, "Anytime. Now stop feeling guilty because Tommy has already secured the role of emo boy in our merry band of misfits…" I smiled, "Merry band of misfits?" She just shrugged, "Alice and Brady made me watch The Princess Bride over the weekend and some of the lingo stuck." "Oh, I love that movie! Westley was so hot…" That just slipped out… But she just laughed, "I know! He totally reminds me of your dad if he had a little mask and black cape…" Looking off dreamily as she bit her lip and smiled…I rolled my eyes, "I really don't get the whole fascination with my parents…and just eww, Rose." That was the day that I realized, all those years spent wishing that I could learn how to be normal were in vain because it turns out what I really needed was to make a few friends who wouldn't judge me because they weren't normal themselves. They were freaks like me...only some were better at hiding it. Things were better after that because without the guilt weighing me down, I was able to lift my head and no longer pretend to be okay…I really was okay because for all the crap I had to take, all the blessings in my life made it worth it. And after spending so much of my life being lonely…I realized that that was one feeling I never had anymore. I was never lonely. "Uh oh, you might wanna go reign in your cowboy, Eddie."


I looked down at Alice and saw her looking off into the distance. I followed her eyes till they landed on my cowboy, who was glaring at Darren and Steve from the football team. I knew those had been two of the pricks that picked on Jay all year. He had been a really good boy, having worked hard and making it into the advanced classes second semester and he hadn't had any disciplinary action all year, so I decided to let him have his fun, he deserved it. "I'll go get Em so we can have his back if anyone tries to jump in." I took off for Em and by the time we walked over, Jasper had already walked up and punched Steve square in the nose, dropping him to the ground like a fly before he turned to Darren. I'll admit…I kind of love to watch Jasper fight. I know it's totally wrong of me because fighting isn't the answer but it reminded me of when we were 13 and he beat up Mike, Tyler, and Eric… My Superman… And he told me once that sometimes you just have to fight and I always listen to everything he says because I think he's the smartest person I know. I could practically feel the weight being lifted off his shoulders as he growled down triumphantly as the foes he had dealt with all year lay there bruised and beaten on the ground. He kept his cool at school in front of them but he was finally able to show them that he was still the tough boy that threw everyone in a tizzy when he arrived because I was fairly certain that Forks had never seen anything like Jasper Whitlock before. Then I heard Suzie off to the side and I turned just in time to see her with some freshman boys arm twisted behind his back as he fell to his knees in pain. Brady was standing next to her, soaking wet and covered in beer as he tried to wipe off his glasses. Suzie growled, "You think that shit's funny? Lemme show you what I think's funny…Brady, grab a beer from the table and dump it on this mother fucker's head…" I chuckled as Brady nodded quickly and I grabbed a beer from the table and handed it to him, "Are you okay, Brady?" He smiled up at me as he nodded, "Yeah, I love Suzie…she's badass." I couldn't agree more and it was fun to watch Brady laugh as he slowly poured the beer out over the pissed off freshman's head, who struggled to move but apparently Suzie's death grip on his arm kept him from breaking free. He sputtered out, "You fucking bitch…" And then he cried out in pain again as Suzie twisted a little harder with a little giggle, "Why thank you, honey, but you ain't seen nothin' yet…"


Then she proceeded to call Tommy over to dump a beer on the guy's head…then Alice…then me…and finally Rose dumped the last one as she rolled her eyes, "Who the hell even gave this little asshole permission to come to my party? Now get the hell out of here before I sic my boyfriend on you because I guarantee you, beer on your head is the least of your worries." Suzie let go of the guy's arm as he stood, covered in mud and beer. Suzie grabbed Brady's hand and growled at the asshole, "Now you run along and tell all your little friends that if anyone touches my boy again, I will fuck them up. Ya'll are stuck with me for three and a half more years and I hold grudges like nobody's business and I'll fight a boy in a Texas minute so ya'll better back the hell off. Got it?" I loved Jasper's cousins…just saying. The guy stuttered and stumbled as Jay and Emmett now walked over to the group, "Ok just let me leave…" Jay smiled as he grabbed my hand and Emmett looked at Brady, finally realizing what was going on. He charged forward and grabbed the guy by the shirt, "Hey that's one of my best friends, dude…did you do that to him?" Brady came forward and put his hand on Em's arm, "It's okay, Em…it's taken care of, you can let him leave." Em narrowed his eyes at the guy before dropping him. He scrambled to his feet and took off. Suzie smiled down at Brady, "C'mon, darlin'…I got some extra clothes for ya in Alice's car and then we'll go inside and wash your hair, k?" He nodded and grinned, "Okay, thanks Suzie." They took off and Jay squeezed my hand and smiled, "She finally found a boy to give her all the attention she needs and I don't gotta worry bout him hurtin' her…" That made me laugh as I rolled my eyes, "She's a Whitlock, Jay…I think she can handle herself just fine." But I was really happy for Suzie and Brady because they both needed someone to lift them up and make them feel special…they found that in each other and I knew without a doubt, if Suzie had a penis or Brady was into girls…they would be totally in love with each other. I mean, they loved each other now, that much was evident and they held a special kind of bond that went even beyond friendship. "Wanna dance, Eddie?" I looked over into my beautiful boy's baby blue eyes and smiled, "Yeah."


And so we snuck off to a quiet corner and danced…just like the "normal" people but it was a hundred times better than anything they could ever have because there was meaning behind every thing we did. And at the end of the night, I drove him home, gave him a long, slow good night kiss, then went home and played Call of Duty online with him and Emmett till the wee hours of the night…this was pretty typical for a non-school night. Spring Break was a little bittersweet because that meant Alice, Em, and Rose would be graduating soon and going off to college. Em's dad wanted him to go to USC but he wanted to go to the University of Washington with Rose and Alice. He didn't quite know how to break the news to his dad for fear that he wouldn't pay for it if he didn't go where his father wanted. It was nothing unusual for Emmett to stop by unannounced sometimes and ask to talk to my dad. He had received advice from him on many occasions but later that week when Rosalie showed up on my doorstep in tears and asking for my mom, I begun to worry. And then less than an hour later when Emmett showed up asking for my dad, I began to panic and called Jay. "Sup, baby boy?" "Um…what are doing, Jay?" "Nothin', just got done mowin' the grass so I'm fixin' to take a shower…what's up, babe, you sound anxious?" I took a breath and let it out, "I think something's wrong with Em and Rose. They both just showed up separately and are now speaking to my parents. Rose was crying and Em was as white as a ghost." Now I heard him take a breath, "Well, shit…okay, let me take a quick shower and I'll be there in 'bout half an hour." "Okay, Jay. Be careful. Love you." "Love you too, Eddie. See you soon." When Jay arrived, we sat out on the front porch and waited for what seemed like hours until Rose and Em came walking out, holding hands and both red from crying. I hated to see my friends hurt so I stood and couldn't stop myself from pulling Rosalie into a hug and whispering, "What's wrong?" She let go of Em's hand and grabbed onto me fiercely as she sobbed, "I'm…pregnant…"


I saw Jay pull Em to the side and whisper, "I thought you used condoms, man…" Em nodded as he took a big breath, "We did but she started the pill last summer so we stopped…and then she got strep throat a couple months ago…and…" I was confused and Rosalie pulled away as she sniffled, "I was on an antibiotic…it makes the birth control pills completely ineffective…but I didn't know that…" Jay pulled out a cigarette and sighed, "Fuck, man…what are ya'll gonna do?" Em and Rose sat down on the side of the porch while Jay and I sat beside them. Rosalie wiped the tears from her ice blue eyes, "Carlisle and Esme are having us over for dinner tomorrow along with Em's dad and my mom…they both respect Carlisle so he thought maybe he could help keep things calm while we talk about what we're going to do…" Now Em nodded, "Yeah, my dad can be an asshole sometimes but he's obviously not all that bad…I mean, he let Tommy come live with us and Brady practically stays with us…I know he just wants the best for me but he's just gotta back me up on this…just this once…because Rosalie and I are getting married this summer and we're gonna have a baby." With bloodshot eyes, he grinned a beautiful dimpled grin at the girl he loved and she smiled brilliantly through tears as he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "It's gonna be okay, Rosie…I love you and it's gonna be okay…" And we knew that it would…eventually anyway. The next day, we all hung out in my room upstairs while they had dinner…wanting to be close just in case things went badly and our friends needed us. There was some yelling…a lot of crying…and then the slam of a door before we finally made our way downstairs to help in any way we could…but we were surprised at the scene laid out before us. My mom and dad sat at the kitchen table holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes with a look of pure love…and Emmett's dad, Joe, who was even bigger then Em was, was standing there in tears, arms wrapped around both Rosalie and Emmett as they hugged in the middle of my kitchen. They stayed there until late into the night, drinking coffee and making plans for their future. Joe had been furious at first but when Emmett started to cry and Rosalie's mom told her not to come home if she planned on keeping the baby before she stormed out…it finally clicked to him that his son was in pain and


needed him. They talked about Emmett's mother and how she predicted from the time he was two that her son would be an incredible father one day and the thought of his son's first child, his first grandchild, being taken away from them, made him spring into action. Although he was certainly unhappy about the time coming so soon and watching the road his son chose become suddenly much rougher than what he had planned…in the end, he loved his son enough to help him. They were going to stay with him until the fall when he would help them move to Seattle and find an apartment. Joe would pay for it but Emmett would go to the University of Washington and take so many courses a semester. He and Rosalie would both have to get part time jobs and would have to stay at home with the baby. Alice stepped in and said that she could get a place with them, that way her monthly stipend would help Joe out with the bills and she could help babysit if they needed it. And then she called Jane and they setup a time to hang out with Em and Rose on Sunday because Jane knew of the best and safest babysitter's close to campus. She also had some books and maternity clothes that she hadn't gotten rid of and offered them to Rose, which she gladly accepted. Rose and Em also accepted Alice's offer of living with them and splitting the bills. Joe thanked her for being such a good friend to his son and future daughter-in-law. Which led to talk of the wedding. They were going to just go to the Justice of the Peace but Esme, Alice, and Brady all fought on that one, finally deciding to have it in the back yard a few weeks after school let out. Rosalie wore Emmett's mother's wedding dress and Joe cried when he saw her, just the smallest of a baby bump underneath the white silk. I had never seen those two as happy as when they were announced as Mr. and Mrs. McCarty. And as Jasper and I danced at their wedding, he smiled down at me, "Shit sure does get crazy around here, huh?" I smiled as I laid my head on his shoulder and swayed to the music, "Life is crazy, Jay." Peaks and valleys… The summer went by in a blur as we all prepared for things to come. The girls, and Brady, spent most of their time shopping…specifically for the baby. Emmett, Jasper, and I got jobs. Em's dad had gotten him a construction job for the summer before his move to Seattle. Jacob had offered Jay a job at his dad's shop in La Push but he actually ended up working for a mechanic here in town. He thanked Jacob but thought it would be a good idea to stay away from the rest of the Rez boys. I agreed. And I got a job at…a stupid cell phone store.


It really, really sucked but the deal I made with my dad was that I would replace the money I spent out of my savings from last year's little summer excursion so I just had to suck it up and deal with it. Jasper didn't make it any easier. He'd come to the store on the days he didn't work and bring me lunch… I'd sigh as he'd stand there and just grin at me until I snapped, "What?" Shrugging and killing me with those damn dimples of his, he'd just grin harder "You look really cute in your little tie…" Fighting the temptation to smile back at him, I just rolled my eyes, "Fuck off." Leaning on the counter, he reached forward and started playing with the end of my tie, the smile never leaving his face, "Now is that any way to talk to your ever-lovin' boyfriend who went out of his way to bring his baby boy some homemade biscuits and honey?" Aww…damn him for being so perfect… A smile finally broke through and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn, "You made me biscuits and brought me honey?" "Yup…can I have my kiss now?" Blushing even harder as he pulled just a bit on my tie, I looked around even as my breathing began to accelerate, "Um…I'm at work, Jay…" "You're the only one here, Eddie…" "But, um, babe…I could get fired…" "Do you really care, darlin'?" Looking into the prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen, I felt my breath give way as I mumbled, "Not really…" Then one hard tug of my tie and our lips crashed together. And that familiar heat washed over me…the fire that only Jay could spark. Moments later, we were in the storage room…his hands were locked in my hair and mine were underneath his t-shirt, feeling the hard muscles of his back and all the scars beneath my fingertips. We kissed for what seems like hours before I finally heard that stupid bell on the front door signifying that someone had entered the store.


I pulled away with a gasp and immediately started straightening my shirt and tie. Running my hands through my hair, I tried to push it down a bit, "Does my hair look like I've been making out, Jay?" The bastard just snickered and cocked an eyebrow, "Really, Edward?" I knew it was useless, my hair always looked like I had been making out. I huffed and turned to leave, "You're an asshole, Jasper." I heard his laughter ring out as I stormed out of the storage room and out to help the stupid customer with their stupid cell phone. But I really couldn't be mad at him for the whole 'tie' thing because on days when I took him lunch while he was working…let's just say that I've ended up with my hand down the front of his dirty coveralls on more than one occasion. I tried very hard to refrain from attacking him but there were just some things I couldn't resist… Jasper sweaty and covered in oil from working on cars all day… Cowboy Jasper… Jay being all ghetto… So basically I just couldn't resist anything him… But in all fairness…the boy was all about some Eddie as well… It was nice to know that even as our lives settled down from our chaotic beginnings…that fire between us had never flickered even for a moment…if anything, it only grew stronger and more intense with every passing day. Eventually, summer faded and gave way to fall. Our friends had found an apartment in Seattle and Emmett and Rosalie had both gotten jobs. Alice and Em started school and the rest of us started back in Forks. It was Junior year and our little circle had gotten considerably smaller with Em, Rose, and Alice gone, even though we still saw each other as much as we could on weekends. But then, a couple months later Seth Clearwater became a new member of our group. Apparently, he and Brady had been best friends as children until Junior High started and Seth began pulling away with the other Rez boys. He had never participated in any of the taunting but he certainly hadn't stuck up for Brady either. But over the summer, his father had a heart attack and his sister came out of the closet a couple months later. Brady had went to his father's funeral and finally, Seth got his priorities straight and sought Brady out to apologize and hopefully become friends again.


His sister's sexuality and his rekindled friendship with Brady severed his ties with the rest of the Rez boys and pretty soon, he was spending a lot of time with us…specifically Brady and Suzie, especially since he and Suzie started dating in the middle of her sophomore year. And, once again, things had settled down in our lives for awhile…but life is ever changing, and soon our lives changed again. It was a Friday night in November and the sound of my phone woke me up. Glancing at the clock, I could make it out to be after three o'clock in the morning. It wasn't Jay's ring tone but I was not expecting the person on the other end. "Hello?" "Um, hey pretty boy…" I shot up in my bed, as my heart began to race, "Jeremiah, are you okay? Is JJ okay? Where are you?" "Uh…I'm in your driveway…" Jumping out of bed and throwing some sweats on over my boxer briefs, I spoke quickly, "I'll be right there." I opened the door to see him getting JJ out of his car seat. Candace wasn't with them. Grabbing my coat, I ran out and helped him carry a few bags inside. The bed of his truck was covered in a tarp but I could see part of a rocking chair sticking up. I couldn't believe how big JJ had gotten. He had loose honey blonde curls and chubby little legs and rosy pink cheeks. It's simply amazing how much can happen in a single year. Once we got inside, I could take the opportunity to really see Jeremiah now and he didn't look so good. I mean, he was gorgeous as always but he looked completely exhausted. And I knew he had to be cold because he only wore a pair of worn jeans and a gray hoodie, no coat. I led him to the living room and he sat down on the couch as JJ snuggled into his chest, underneath the blue blanket wrapped around him. Whispering as to not wake my mom or JJ yet, I asked him if he wanted something warm to drink, tea or coffee or something. He looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms and closed his eyes. His voice sounded thick as he whispered, "Yes, please, anythin's fine…thank you, Edward."


I simply smiled and nodded before rushing to the kitchen and heating up some tea for him. By the time I came back, he was slumped against the couch, fast asleep with JJ curled up on top of him. He didn't look like he had slept in days so I just pulled the throw over top the both of them and settled into the recliner across from them. That way I could keep an eye on JJ because the house wasn't baby-proofed yet and I didn't want to take the chances of him waking up and getting hurt. I also figured my dad should be getting home any time from a late shift at the hospital so I watched TV with the sound turned almost all the way down and drank the tea as I waited. About an hour later, I heard the garage door open and I met him at the doorway. He spoke in a rushed whisper, "Are they okay? I saw Jeremiah's truck in the driveway…" Quickly nodding and assuring him they were fine, he took off his coat, gloves, and boots before creeping to the living room with me to see for himself. I started the coffee pot, having a feeling that it was going to be a long morning. Dad walked into the kitchen and spoke quietly as pulled out a chair and sat while I worked, "What happened, son?" Shrugging, I turned around and leaned against the counter, "I don't know, dad…he just showed up at about three o'clock this morning and he fell asleep on the couch before I could ask what was going on. He looked exhausted so I just let him sleep." We talked for a little while about his night at work and I could tell that he was exhausted himself. "Dad, why don't you go get some rest…" "Yeah, honey, what are you still doing up anyway?" My mom came shuffling in the kitchen in her robe and slippers as she leaned down and kissed my father's hair before pouring herself a cup of coffee. And then she gasped as JJ came waddling into the kitchen, straight to the refrigerator. His tiny hands patted at the enormous box in front of him as he spoke, "Bite!" My dad laughed and my mom's eyes grew wide, "Oh my God! Why didn't you wake me and tell me they were here?" Just then, a very disheveled Jeremiah came running into the kitchen and let out a breath when he saw his son, "Jesus, son, you damn near gave me a heart attack…"


JJ's