Issuu on Google+

Missoula Independent Page 2 Married in Montana 2013

Contents: Words to wed by . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 To-dos of saying “I do” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 Three weddings, a dozen ideas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Things we ∫ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 12-month countdown . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26 Your big-day budget . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Cover Photo by Erika Peterman Photography

missoulanews.com 317 S. Orange St. Missoula, MT 59801 Phone number: 406-543-6609 Fax number: 406-543-4367 E-mail address: independent@missoulanews.com

Erika Peterman Photography

Specializing in Locally Grown, Farm-to-Table Catering! 406.240.0914 riversonggourmet.com Missoula Independent Page 3 Married in Montana 2013

Words to wed by You don’t have to look past Montana’s own writers for a good ceremony reading

Deschamps Photography

The Beatles said, “All you need is love” and Bruce Lee said, “Love is like a friendship caught on fire.” Eva Gabor said, “Love is a game that two can play and both can win” and Plato said, “Love is a serious mental disease.” Whichever of these philosophies you subscribe to, we might all agree that trying to talk about love—and, therefore, finding just the right quote or reading for a wedding—isn’t easy. The Bible, Pablo Neruda and Shakespeare are classic sources for reading material on matrimony and true love. But if you’re looking for something different, you have to dig a little deeper. Billy Collins, the former poet laureate, wrote a great poem called “Litany,” which both makes fun of and embraces the game of love metaphors, providing

SAVE THE DATE

Weddings & Celebrations Family Reunions Business Events & More Full Service Catering Affordable Lodging

WH W HIT H IIT T EF E F IS I S H, H , MO MON NT TAN ANA A NA Partially Located on National Forest Lands

FUN | 877-SKI-FISH | SKIWHITEFISH.COM Missoula Independent Page 4 Married in Montana 2013

Main & Top Left Photo © Sarah McArthur Photography Bottom Left Photo © Lindsey Jane Photography

some comedy and ending sweetly. There’s also a great reading from Douglas Adams’ So Long and Thanks for All the Fish when Arthur falls for Fenchurch. One thing about Montana is that we’ve got a lot of good writers here— poets who see love in the landscape and gritty novelists who are secretly romantics. You can find funny stuff with lovely lines, and if you want, fishing metaphors. Suicidal fish David James Duncan’s The River Why has become a classic next to Norman Maclean’s A River Runs Through It. It’s a story about fishing, rivers and the environment, but ultimately about relationships among people. Toward the end he gets to the crux of what love is and what it does to you, and he does it in a very

Johanna B Photography

Missoula Independent Page 5 Married in Montana 2013

unsentimental Montana way that will still be stirring at any ceremony. “People often don’t know what they’re talking about, but when they talk about love they really don’t know what they’re talking about.The one sure thing you can say about love is that there isn’t much you can say about it. Not that you shouldn’t try.You can make analogies; love is like lots of things. One thing it’s like is a trout stream: try to capture a trout stream with a dam and you get a lake; try to catch it in a bucket and you get a bucket of water; try to stick it under a microscope and you get a close-up look at some writhing amorpohous microcooties. A trout stream is only a trout stream when it’s flowing between its own two banks, at its own pace, in its own sweet way. Love is also like poison oak...it’s highly contagious. Scratch it and it gets worse. Touch other people with it and they catch it too. What love is not like is your average fish; if love was a fish it would be suicidal: it wants to get caught. —David James Duncan, The River Why

Johanna B Photography

cocoa blue now booking for 2013 www.cocoablue.com 404-520-8855

pat@properties2000.com 1200 S. Reserve, Missoula 406-240-SOLD (7653)

modern photos with stories to tell Missoula Independent Page 6 Married in Montana 2013

Thousands of minds When talking about the expanse and power of love, Missoula playwright Josh Wagner used a very far away place—the Silk Road—to wow Montana viewers during the debut of his play Salep and Silk a few years

Kristine Paulsen Photography

When only the best will do.

Chef Ryan Boehme 541.4900 • 224 N. Higgins bravocatering.msla@gmail.com www.bravocatering.net Photo by Green Door Photography

Missoula Independent Page 7 Married in Montana 2013

ago. In that story, a character finally figures out what love really is: “I think I’m onto something. No one can be in love, but two? Three? A thousand? Love is what happens in the space between minds. The wind between the branches. The weed emerging atop the sea, the mind arising from the body. Thousands of minds drifting east to west and west to east along this road, and thousands and thousands of roads going everywhere. I know who we are now. I know who I am.” —Josh Wagner, Salep and Silk As real as this Like most complex poets, Montana’s poet laureate, Sheryl Noethe, doesn’t delve into cheesiness. In fact, her world feels equally dark and light, pained and exultant. For weddings, of course, you have to keep the mood celebratory, but there’s nothing wrong with readings that feel a little more mysterious. ...This turn we take together, the language of line drawing. The A that was once an oxen, dog leaping at the tree, paws curled like faux wings in the sign for angel. Say you dream of a man for years. These dreams leave you full of love. Mike Williams Photography

What is the word for it? I need this word. A molecule split open and entered. My body, which cannot lie, which is chained to the truth of childhood, age and illness Is completely convinced. Each dream of you, as real as this. —A snippet of “Unis Versum” from Sheryl Noethe’s The Ghost Openings Let us not squander Other Montana writers offer only a few appropriate lines about love, which could easily be used for the inside of your wedding program. Award-winning poet Melissa Mylchreest, for instance, often writes about characters who seem to approach life and all its beauty and sorrows without fuss and often alone, which doesn’t quite work for a wedding. But in one poem, she captures what romantic poets have been getting at for centuries. so be still, lay here and leave your shape in the grass by mine. The hour’s ours, the art. Let us not squander. —A snippet from “A Storm King” from Melissa Mylchreest’s Reckon. In just a few lines, she gets to the heart of it: The invitation to share your time on earth with a person is a powerful thing. And Montana writers sure know how to strike that chord.

A new journey begins… and Blue Mountain Clinic Family Practice is with you all the way.

610 N California

Missoula Independent Page 8 Married in Montana 2013

721-1646

www.bluemountainclinic.org

Johanna B Photography

You have a long list of things to do. Let us get your skin wedding ready! Aesthetic Plastic Surgery Center offers 6, 3, and 1 month skin revitalizing bridal packages. Don’t let your skin show all the hard work you’ve put into your wedding, wake up with healthy, glowing skin on your special day! ( And remember the time to start on laser hair removal is 6 months before the big day!)

324 Main Street • Kalispell, MT • 406-257-4684 • mimisbridal.net

Missoula Independent Page 9 Married in Montana 2013

DIY vows The to-dos of saying your own “I do” by Stephanie Marie Garcia

Johanna B Photography

Missoula Independent Page 10 Married in Montana 2013

With do-it-yourself and self-reliant trends all the rage, it’s no wonder that writing your own vows has come into vogue. In fact, it’s nearly a requirement to pen your own vows if you’re hoping to create a unique, personalized, detailoriented wedding these days. So let’s imagine you're one of those couples who wants to eschew tradition and recite your own lyrics to your partner. Where do you start? According to a Charlottesville, Va., interfaith minister, Claire Goodman, vows can be broken up into two different parts: the “Declaration of Love” and then the “Promise,” or actual vows. “I know it seems obvious, but I’ve had some people leave off the promise— they get into the ‘I love yous’ and tell stories, but forget to say the promise,” says Goodman. “It’s nice to have a personal declaration in front of friends

and family, but the promise is the whole point of it.” If composing your own promises seems too intimidating—what exactly should you promise to do forever?— then Goodman recommends writing your own declaration and going with more traditional vows. That way you can include some of your personality and stories, but not have the pressure of coming up with the actual vows all on your own. “Write letters to each other and share them,” suggests Goodman. “Guests love it—it’s like looking through a curtain into their relationship.” Most ministers or officiants have a handy stack of vows taken from various faiths or sources that they can send you to help you get started. If you want to compose your own completely original vows, they’re a jumping-off point. You

Johanna B Photography

Missoula Independent Page 11 Married in Montana 2013

Johanna B Photography

-

-

Missoula Independent Page 12 Married in Montana 2013

can see what are traditional things to promise one another and not feel like you’re pulling out of thin air. Or, if the thought of writing something original is too overwhelming, you can mix and match from these already written vows and create a message all your own. “Sometimes writing your own vows is such a high ideal that couples stress themselves out too much about being brilliant and original and funny,” says Goodman. “What’s important is the promise.” Goodman suggests heading online to look for non-traditional vow inspiration. There's also, of course, the Bible, books of poetry or, for more artistic people, song lyrics that can inspire your promises. There’s also the sticky issue of religion: What if you're completely religious and your partner is not? Goodman reminds us that vows do not have to be completely identical; you don’t have to make the exact same promises to each other.Write your vows within your comfort zone, she suggests, and be open to receiving your partner’s promises knowing they created them just for you. “People assume you have to say exactly the same thing, which is not the case,” she says. If you’re getting married in a church ceremony, talk to your minister; while some churches require you to use vows of a certain faith, some have more flex-

Johanna B Photography

ibility; this is a place where reciting your own declaration and using traditional vows might be the best route to meld creativity and convention. And then there are the silly vows. Everyone thinks immediately of writing silly or lighthearted vows when they go to create their own. Humor is a great way to break the ice and feel more

comfortable during what can be an emotional experience, but don’t forget, these are sincere, heartfelt and real commitments you’re supposed to be making.Throw in one or two “I promise to wash your socks,” or “I vow to love you even when the Grizzlies beat the Cats,” but weave them in among more wholehearted statements.

“It's a matter of speaking from the heart,” says Goodman. “Saying what you need and want to say, and making a real promise.” Stephanie Marie Garcia is the wedding editor for Charlottesville Va.’s weekly The Hook.

Missoula 2915 North Reserve St 406-541-7427 www.famousdaves.com

Missoula Independent Page 13 Married in Montana 2013

406 CELEBRATIONS 420 HILLTOP AVE., KALISPELL 406CELEBRATIONS.COM

CELESTIAL SELECTIONS 306 S. PINES RD., SPOKANE, WA 509-927-4191 CELESTIALSELECTIONS.COM

ELLE PHOTOGRAPHY 4027 MELROSE PLACE, MSLA. 406-396-4180 ELLEPHOTOGRAPHYMT.COM

CHAD MALLOW PHOTOGRAPHY 721 ROLLINS #3, MSLA. 406-369-2339 CHADMALLOWPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

FAMOUS DAVE'S 2915 N. RESERVE, MSLA. 406-541-7428 FAMOUSDAVES.COM

COSMETIC SURGICAL ARTS CENTRE 805 S. RESERVE, MSLA. 406-549-6600 CSACMT.COM

GLACIER PARK, INC. 2 FAIRWAY DR., WHITEFISH 406-863-4701 GLACIERPARKINC.COM

CURVES OF MISSOULA 1204 W. KENT, MISSOULA 406-543-9735 CURVESOFMISSOULA.COM

GREY WOLF RANCH 12455 N. PLACID LAKE RD., SEELEY LAKE 406-677-0119 GREYWOLFRANCH.NET

DAX PHOTOGRAPHY 2412 RIVER RD. STE. D, MSLA. 406-531-9336 DAXPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

HILTON GARDEN INN/BLUE CANYON 3720 N. RESERVE MSLA. 406-532-5309 MISSOULA.HGI.COM

BEACH TRANSPORTATION 825 MOUNT AVE., MSLA. 406-549-6121 BEACHTRANS.COM

DILLARD'S SOUTHGATE MALL, MSLA. 406-721-3100 • DILLARDS.COM

HIXSON FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHY 4615 ORCHARD AVE., MSLA. 406-531-3556 HIXSONSTUDIO.COM

BEAUTIFUL EVENTS 4414 ADDINGTON DR., MSLA. 406-830-3933 BEAUTIFULMTEVENTS.COM

DINNER 4 TWO BY ROYAL PRESTIGE 5500 DOUGLAS AVE., DES MOINES, IA 515-270-0777 DINNER4TWO.COM

BED, BATH & BEYOND 3071 PAXSON, MSLA. 406-327-9503 BEDBATHANDBEYOND.COM

DOLLAR RENT-A-CAR 1905 W. BROADWAY, MSLA. 406-542-2311 DOLLAR.COM

BITTERROOT FLOWER SHOP 811 W. HIGGINS, MSLA. 406-542-0309 BITTERROOTFLOWERSHOP.COM

DOSTAL PHOTOGRAPHY 13 CHARIS LANE, MSLA. 406-529-2228 DOSTALPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

BITTERROOT RIVER INN 139 BITTERROOT PLACE DR., HAMILTON 406-375-2525 BITTEROOTRIVERINN.COM

EASTGATE RENTAL / MT. PARTY TIME 500 E. SPRUCE, MSLA. 406-549-5114 MISSOULAEVENTRENTAL.COM

CANYON RIVER GOLF CLUB 1268 BANDMANN TRAIL, MSLA. 406-721-0222 CANYONRIVERGOLF.COM

ELEGANT EVENTS LLC 5216 HORN ROAD, MSLA. 406-529-6124 ELEGANTMISSOULA.COM

A HANDS & FEET BOUTIQUE 1440 S. 5TH. W., MSLA. 406-880-4901 AHANDSANDFEETBOUTIQUE.COM ACCENTS EVENT DÉCOR AND PHOTO BOOTH 1206 W. KENT, MSLA. 406-552-0051 ACCENTSEVENTDECOR.COM ALL BEVERAGE CATERING 17960 BEARGRASS MOUNTAIN RD., MSLA. 406-490-9298 ALL EVENTS CATERING 1609 W. BROADWAY, MSLA. 406-728-3400 ALL-EVENTS-CATERING.COM

Missoula Independent Page 14 Married in Montana 2013

HOLIDAY INN DOWNTOWN 200 S. PATTEE, MSLA. 406-721-8500 HOLIDAYINN.COM IZAAK WALTON INN 290 IZAAK WALTON INN RD, ESSEX 406-253-4867 IZAAKWALTONINN.COM

MONTANA Q 10210 WALDO ROAD, MSLA. 406-531-4229 MONTANA SUNSET PHOTOBOOTH 2322 GILBERT, MSLA. 858-395-5920 MONTANASUNSETPHOTOBOOTH.COM OH SO CHIC 200 A PRINCE ST., MSLA. 406-552-7550 OHSOCHICMT.COM

ROCOCO BRIDAL 1900 BROOKS, MSLA. 406-327-0291 ROCOCOBRIDAL.COM ROGUE HEART MEDIA 121 WEST WAVERLY PLACE, SPOKANE, WA 509-217-7059 ROGUEHEARTMEDIA.COM ROSAUERS BAKERY 2350 S. RESERVE, MSLA. 406-721-5430

FOTOS WITH FUNK 2242 42ND. STREET, MSLA. 406-253-6685 FOTOSWITHFUNK.COM

SERENDIPITY BOUTIQUE 100 SKEELS STE. A, HAMILTON 406-363-2234

PHOTOS FROM THE HART 406-241-9458 PHOTOSFROMTHEHART.COM

SHANNON CORSI PHOTOGRAPHY 2103 RONALD AVE., MSLA. 406-274-3995 SHANNONCORSIPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

POSH PAPER WEDDINGS 2337 S. 3RD. W. #9, MSLA. 406-327-0100 POSHPAPERWEDDINGS.COM PUTTING ON THE RITZ P.O. BOX 1956, BIGFORK 406-250-6416 RANCH CLUB 8501 RANCH CLUB RD, MSLA. 406-532-1000 • RANCHCLUB.COM REI 1525 N. RESERVE STE. K-2, MSLA. 406-541-1938 REI.COM/MISSOULA

J. WILLIS AND JAMIE LYNN PHOTOGRAPHY 2825 YARD RD. E3 MSLA. 406-240-1113 JWILLISPHOTOGRAPHY.NET

RICCIARDI'S GRILLS GONE WILD P.O. BOX 725, POLSON 406-212-8768 RICCIARDIS.COM

MISSOULA TEXTILE SERVICES 111 E. SPRUCE, MSLA. 406-543-5171 MISSOULATEXTILES.COM

RIDDLES JEWELRY SOUTHGATE MALL, MSLA. 406-829-3393 RIDDLESJEWELRY.COM

MONTANA ISLAND LODGE 2433 HIGHWAY 83, SEELEY LAKE 406-677-3620 MONTANAISLANDLODGE.COM

RMF ENTERTAINMENT 2409 DEARBORN STE. J1,MSLA. 406-531-2321 RMFDJS.COM

SHEAR ART SALON 2412 RIVER RD., MSLA. 406-214-3112 SHEARARTSALON.COM SKIN CHIC 2901 BROOKS STE. C-4, MSLA. 406-541-8466 SKINCHIC.COM SLIKATI PHOTOGRAPHY 4724 CANYON CREEK BLVD., MSLA. 406-274-0592 SLIKATI.COM THE RANCH CLUB 8501 RANCH CLUB ROAD, MSLA. 406-532-1000 RANCHCLUB.COM TUXEDO GALLERY 742 S. HIGGINS, MSLA. 406-728-4530 TUXEDOGALLERY.NET YOUA PHOTOGRAPHY 211 N. HIGGINS #302, MSLA. 406-544-1700 YOUAPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

Missoula Independent Page 15 Married in Montana 2013

Bliss in the details Three wedding days that offer a dozen ideas No matter what advice you get, no matter how much wedding traditions are revered, the truth is, no two weddings are alike—and that’s the way it should be. Weddings are a celebration of love, but they’re also a celebration of two different personalities uniting. Weddings that really reflect a couple’s character are often the most fun, whether they incorporate downto-earth bonfires or fairytale flavor. In the hope of inspiring you, we profile three couples who made their wedding days truly theirs by blending just a handful of ideas.

Manon Damboise & Rob Duff

Chad Harder Photography

Missoula Independent Page 16 Married in Montana 2013

How they met: Rob and Manon met nine years ago when they ended up sharing a cab in Costa Rica. After four hours talking together they went their separate ways—Rob back to Park City, Utah and Manon back to her home in Quebec. They kept in touch over the years, even when Rob moved back to his hometown of Missoula. Two years ago, Manon quit her job and moved to Missoula, too. They were engaged in Hawaii and married in late August.

Chad Harder Photography

Chad Harder Photography

Wedding location: The Barn at Finley Point.The Barn, on the east side of Flathead Lake, is a gigantic, 5,000-squarefoot refurbished barn that sits on a hill overlooking a bucolic farm and the Mission Mountains. The grassy bowl below reveals a pond with waterfalls, weeping willows and a gazebo—perfect for an outdoor ceremony. Nearby is a fenced-in pasture where a few bull cattle live (beware: drunken guests should not be encouraged to get any crazy ideas). There’s a dance floor and plenty of room

Chad Harder Photography

Chad Harder Photography

for guests to park RVs and set up tents for a full-on wedding slumber party. Dressing chambers: The groom’s room is a rustic sanctuary that feels like the exact place you go for a few shots of pre-nuptial whiskey. Big game heads stare out in a stately fashion from the walls and the bear rugs and antique tools would make Teddy Roosevelt drool just a little. “It’s very manly,” says Duff, laughing. Upstairs in the loft is the roomy honeymoon suite where the bride and bridesmaids can dress.The bal-

cony is perfect for getting hair and makeup done al fresco. Je t’aime: With Damboise’s friends and family speaking French and Duff’s speaking Montanan, or, uh, English, the couple decided to have a bilingual wedding. They hoisted Montana and Quebec flags at the barn and had English and French readings during the ceremony and bilingual toasts after the dinner. Easy breezy decorations: The barbecue dinner, catered by Missoula’s Burns St. Bistro, was a heavy meal to

throw down the hatch. But on decorations everything else was light and breezy. Damboise designed her own centerpieces made of fresh lemons chopped in half bordering a vase of wheat, all on a glass plate lit with LED lights. Burn, baby, burn: Nothing says Montana romance like a roaring bonfire. The fire pit was a great place for postwedding and post-dancing relaxation, especially for friends who brought their guitars for late night sing-alongs.

Missoula Independent Page 17 Married in Montana 2013

Mikel Yuhas & Tyler Hoffman First date: The Montana Club Wedding location: LinborgCregg Field, home of the Mavericks baseball team. “Tyler used to play for the Mavericks,” says Yuhas. “We knew we wanted an affordable outdoor wedding. Having it at [the field] popped into our heads and we kind of ran with it.” Invitation to play: The couple sent out invitations in handmade envelopes that looked like baseball tickets. The ticket stubs served as the RSVP cards. The set-up: Tables under a white tent revealed centerpieces made of small plastic baseball caps filled with peanuts and traditional stadium popcorn. Guests could line up at the candy bar and get Swedish fish, Starbursts, Skittles, lollipops and baseball gum, all meant to evoke concession-stand goodies. The three-tiered wedding cake was white with baseball stitching and each layer held up with little baseball bats.

Dax Photography

There’s a Reason It’s Called a

HOUSE DESIGN STUDIO

133 N. HIGGINS, MISSOULA, 406.541.6960

58*6‡+20('(&25‡/,*+7,1*‡)851,785( 7$ % / ( 7 2 3  ‡  & 8 6 7 2 0  2 5 ' ( 5 6  ‡  * , ) 7  5 ( * , 6 7 5< Missoula Independent Page 18 Married in Montana 2013

The ceremony: Bridesmaids and groomsmen entered the baseball diamond from separate dugouts and walked up to home plate before split-

Dax Photography

ting off. Their ceremony songs were “Crazy Girl” and “Farmer’s Daughter,” at the pitcher’s mound where the couple was married. The ringbearer carried a sign that read “Batters up!” Home-run memories: The couple rented a photo booth for friends and family to pop in and take nice, whacky and candid photos of themselves, which provided the couple with tons of entertaining pictures to look at long after the wedding was over.

Dax Photography

Missoula Independent Page 19 Married in Montana 2013

Mel Mauro & Ben Burns The proposal: On Saturday morning, Jan. 2, 2011, Mauro got into the shower for her normal routine. When she stepped out she saw “Will you marry me?” written on the bathroom mirror. Burns had written it in shaving cream and then wiped it clean so that the words would only magically appear when the mirror fogged up.

patience paid off. She found the items she really wanted for a good price by perusing garage sales and thrift stores. One of her most cherished finds: white paper lanterns, which added a romantic atmosphere when they were hung in the Hall in a zig-zag over the tables. She borrowed vases instead of buying them. She created her own centerpieces with yellow fabric flowers, which she cut the stems off to create tiny pools of floating flowers and candles inside the vases.

We d d i n g lo c a t i o n : Heritage Hall at Fort Missoula. Fort Missoula was established by the United States Army in 1877 and it has a lot of interesting history as a home to the Buffalo Soldiers and as a prison camp for Italian POWs. The 1906 Hall used to be the military gymnasium, but renovation of the neo-classical building makes it look like a grand dining hall from a Southern estate. The grassy lawn around it is great for an outdoor ceremony and lawn games.

Mike Williams Photography

Missoula Independent Page 20 Married in Montana 2013

Decorations for (almost) nothing: Mauro spent a full year gathering all the wedding decorations. “I did that instead of spending a lot of money to buy everything at once,” she says. Her

Mike Williams Photography

Mike Williams Photography

For the guests: No one remembers generic wedding favors, especially not bowlfuls of candy that can be eaten up in no time. Burns and Mauro made their candy more significant. They ordered M&Ms in ivory and other unusual colors and had different pictures of themselves—including photos from their engagement—screen-printed onto each piece. Surprise success: Two DJs from RMS Entertainment provided the music for the night. Mauro says they went above and beyond what she expected. “They had our whole schedule down,” she says.

They introduced the wedding party, announced when to eat and when to toast. “And at the end of the night,” says Mauro, “they got everyone [pumped up] and out on the dance floor. Everyone.” Montana luxury: Mauro wanted a cake with simple elegance. On the outside, the four-tiered cake showed off an ivory glow with its buttercream frosting, champagne pearl dots and cascading daisies. Inside was decadent. Cutting into the cake revealed two tiers of yellow cake with chocolate mousse filling and two tiers of white chocolate huckleberry mousse.

Mike Williams Photography

Smooch

Cosmetic Boutique featuring...

bareMinerals

DuWop, theBalm, Lola, RGB philosophy and more! 406.541.1600

125 East Main Street, Downtown Missoula

Missoula Independent Page 21 Married in Montana 2013

Things we ∫ A list of short, sweet, wild and woolly items to punch up your wedding day

Johanna B Photography

“Start the Year with a Smile”

Missoula Independent Page 22 Married in Montana 2013

Expressing your identity at a wedding isn’t always easy, especially when everyone has an opinion on how a wedding ought to be. Go wild if you want to (though your idea of having your cat as a ringbearer might not work). But even more traditional weddings can be revived with a few little details. Here we give you a handful of emerging trends we love that buck the system just enough to make your wedding memorable. Little white dress Every romantic comedy about weddings makes a gaudy dress joke. Horrified brides wind up in a poofy wedding dresses with too much lace. Bridesmaids stand forlorn in matching outfits of a shimmering Peptol Bismol shade. It’s funny in a movie, but in real life, don’t do it! Hip brides are taking a different route, including allowing bridesmaids to pick out their own dress-styles. Our favorite trend: the knee-length wedding dress. The cocktail look is classic and classy, whether the cut is mod or girlishly sweet. You can wear a bold sash with it or wild shoes. And if you’re really into rebelling against old-guard purity rules, forgo a white dress for vintage

blue, blush, gold or...red. Hell, it’s your day. Jar of hearts Mason jars remind us of simple times when Grandma canned peaches or pickled green beans. They’re one of the most versatile objects you can employ at a wedding. Fill them with candles and hang them from trees as lanterns for a romantic, fairytale atmosphere during the wedding dinner. Use them as wildflower vases for centerpieces (you can even paint and decorate them to give them a flashier look). Also, forget unwieldy stem-glasses. Give your guests mason jars as wine glasses for a down-home vibe. It might make your snobby relatives from Manhattan cringe, but everyone else will swoon. Vroom groom In the past, the bride's gotten all the attention. Boo to that. Today’s groom is a lot more fashionable, whether he’s hipster or cowboy or a James Bond fanatic. We love a little flair when it comes to groom-style: cowboy hats and belt buckles or checkered skinny slacks or the gentlemanly seersucker. Sunglasses and cigars encouraged, but not required. Erika Peterman Photography

Missoula Independent Page 23 Married in Montana 2013

Stylish sipping Kegs of beer and jugs of wine are great for the reception, but how about tickling your guests’ taste buds just before the ceremony with some infused cocktails? We have a soft spot for rosemary-infused simple syrup—which you can make quickly and easily—mixed with vodka and tonic. If you want to infuse the vodka itself, make sure you do it at least two weeks ahead of the wedding day. There’s a plethora of good fruit and herb recipes online. For your spirits, check out local joints such as Missoula’s Montgomery Distillery, 129 W. Front, in Missoula where they make Quicksilver Vodka, or Ridge Distillery, 19 Artemisia Way, in Kalispell at 756-5964. Plants alive You can be creative with flower bouquets in Montana, especially if you peruse the farmers markets or plant your own patch of wildflowers ahead of time. The problem is, flowers eventually die. That’s why we love living plants as an alternative centerpiece. Gather Montana succulents from the farmers markets or from local gardening shops and plant Erika Peterman Photography

Missoula Independent Page 24 Married in Montana 2013

them in antique-looking wooden planters or woolly pockets. They’ll add charm to the wedding and, when the “I-dos” are said and done, the plants can come home with you as a symbol of forever. At least until you forget to water them. Find woolly pockets and succulents at Habitat Floral Studio, 211 N. Higgins Ave. Immortal napkins Weddings have, until now, created a lot of waste. Ditch disposable napkins for charming bandanas in a rainbow of colors from classic red to goth black to cheery aquamarine. Fold the bandanas near the dinner plates and let your friends and family pick their colors. The cloth serves its function during dinner and works as a souvenir for your guests to remember how cool you are. Check out Army Navy Adventure Source at 130 E. Broadway. Time for pie! Cake is good, cupcakes are great—pie is awesome. Now that farmers markets have blown up in and around Missoula, you won’t have too much trouble finding fruit for pie—peaches from Paradise, apples from the Bitterroot, cherries from

the Flathead—to create a dessert blitzkrieg. Go pumpkin or pecan. Do it up the Montana way with huckleberry. At a wedding table, pies add yet another rustic detail to your day. Call Bernice’s Bakery at 7281358, Break Espresso at 728-7300 or email Pete the Pie Guy at ptclavin@gmail.com. Book it This one’s for the detail-oriented bookworm. It’s time-consuming but worth the work. Months before the wedding, dig through second-hand bookstores and garage sales to find just the right book for each of your guests. Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring for the avid environmentalist. Jorge Luis Borges for the poet. A Swedish cookbook for the adventurous food connoisseur. The books serve as placeholders for the wedding dinner and provide a gift that says thanks far more personably than any knickknack could. In Missoula check out The Bird’s Nest, 219 N. Higgins Ave., and The Book Exchange, 2335 Brooks St., for good deals.

Erika Peterman Photography

Missoula Independent Page 25 Married in Montana 2013

12-month countdown A step-by-step guide on how to reduce wedding pains 12 Months

11 Months

•Research wedding venues and their available dates •Set the date •Make a budget (See “Common cents,” page 27) •Research and book ceremony and reception venues •Book rehearsal dinner location •Make appointments with potential wedding planner, photographer and/or videographer, and band or DJ •Research caterers •Choose a wedding theme and style •Put together your list of guests and their correct addresses

•Select a wedding planner •If you don’t have a wedding planner, start making a list of everything you’ll need at the wedding and reception from chairs to garbage cans to a PA system •Select and book a caterer •Book band or DJ or delegate friends to start making playlists •Choose ceremony music •Book photographer and/or videographer, make photo list •Start looking for a wedding dress •Schedule rehearsal time •Mail save-the-date cards •Choose an officiant and meet with him/her to discuss ceremony

PROBLEM: Your parents want you to invite your second cousins who you never see, plus some of their college friends to be there on your big day—and each of those people will want to bring a guest. SOLUTION: Make a list of all potential guests and then figure out how many guests you want (or can afford) and who really needs to be there. Sit down with your parents and discuss their list, allowing them to pick a few people important to them. It is your day, but sometimes the fallout isn’t worth the fight.

PROBLEM: You’ve picked a mutual friend to officiate the wedding, and though you want him to be creative with your ceremony, you want some say in how it’s done. SOLUTION: Provide your friend with a cheat sheet of how you and your partner met and any other sweet, fun or helpful details.Your officiant will appreciate the help, and it’ll ensure that the ceremony will feel fresh without unwanted surprises.

•Decide on decorations and color scheme •Meet with caterers and arrange for tastings •Choose wedding party members and make sure they commit

10 Months •Choose and order wedding dress •Obtain permits for an outdoor wedding at a public place (park, recreational area) •Discuss duties with attendants •Provide attendants guidance on what they will wear •Start collecting decorations— whether buying or borrowing. (See “Three weddings,” page 16)

9 Months •Register for gifts •Decide on the food and liquor served at the reception •Prepare a playlist of reception music •Select or order accessories for bride and groom •Research airline, hotel and rental car information for guests •Research parking and local transportation options for guests

8 Months •Get fitted for your bridal dress, invite maid of honor to attend •If you’re providing bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits, choose and order them now •Research wedding ring styles •Research and select centerpiece items, bouquet, flowers and boutonnières

7 Months •Meet with wedding planner to review details, or go over your list to

make sure you haven’t missed anything •Select attire for flower girl and ring bearer(s), if applicable •Choose and order design, wording, font and paper stock for invitations, table cards and thank you notes •Arrange a printer and hire a calligrapher, if necessary •Determine order of ceremony events and choose wording for programs •Book hotel rooms for guests •Select and order wedding rings

6 Months •Review and approve proofs of wedding invitations •Try on different tuxedo styles at formalwear shop •Discuss attire with groomsmen and suggest formalwear stores •Select rehearsal dinner menu •Discuss honeymoon destinations PROBLEM: The truth is, you don’t really need a lot of stuff, but you could use money for your honeymoon to Italy. But asking guests for money seems so tacky. SOLUTION: Make a website for your honeymoon as part of your registry. Provide a wish list of places you’d like to stay—that vineyard in Tuscany, for instance—or things you’d like when you’re there. Let guests sponsor items and experiences for you, and promise them a postcard in return. You’ll get the funds you need and your guests will feel like they’ve contributed to a concrete part of your experience.

5 Months •Place print order for programs •Finalize honeymoon destination •Select a baker for wedding cake •Place cake order and arrange for delivery

Johanna B Photography

Missoula Independent Page 26 Married in Montana 2013

4 Months

6 Weeks

•Print labels and hand address or have calligrapher address invitations •Write or choose wedding vows (See “The to-dos of saying ‘I do’” page 10) •Have wedding party and fathers fitted for tuxedos •Make honeymoon reservations and deposits

•Send wedding invitations •Write thank-you notes as you receive gifts •Confirm music selections with musicians or DJ or get copies of playlists from friends and family •Reserve a PA system, if applicable •Select menu for post-wedding brunch •Write newspaper announcement •Shop for wedding favors for guests (See “Things We heart” page 22) •Visit hairstylist for practice session and make wedding day appointment

3 Months •Review and approve printed program proofs •Book venue for post-wedding brunch, if applicable •Make appointment with hairdresser to discuss wedding hairstyle •Update or add items to registry •Discuss bachelorette/bachelor party plans with attendants •Create hotel info cards and maps to include with invitations

2 Months •Visit the ceremony venue and determine where bride, groom and their attendants will get ready •Purchase stamps for wedding invitations •Book a hotel room or wedding suite for wedding night •Purchase gifts for wedding party members •Arrange transportation for bride and groom from ceremony to reception •Purchase ceremony accessories, such as champagne glasses •Get the marriage license

4 Weeks •Select ushers and special guests who aren’t attendants and delegate duties for before and during the wedding day •Confirm floral order and arrange for delivery or pick-up •Meet with ushers and assign duties for the ceremony and reception •Determine placement or distribution of programs at the ceremony •Determine dinner seating for guests, if applicable

•Pick up wedding rings and check engraving •Meet with attendants to discuss details PROBLEM: You’re a do-it-yourself kind of person. You could probably bake the wedding cake, decorate the reception hall and hand-design the invitations. No problem here, right? SOLUTION: Don’t do it all yourself. Pick one thing you’d like to be hands-on with and do it ahead of time. By the time your wedding’s weeks away you’ll be glad you delegated duties to your attendants. Feel free to map everything out for them how you want it, just don’t make yourself miserable executing the tasks yourself.

•Visit makeup artist for practice session and make wedding day appointment •Schedule appointments for manicure and pedicure for the day before the wedding •Finalize plans for the photographer and/or videographer and determine their arrival times at the ceremony •Finalize honeymoon plans and

confirm travel and hotel accommodations •Arrange for care of pets, plants and mail during honeymoon •Schedule pickup and return of groom’s formalwear

3 Weeks •Finalize reception guest list •Call guests who have not RSVPed •Give the final headcount to caterer and review details •Arrange for delivery and placement of wedding flowers, candles and other decorations for wedding day

1 Week •Start packing for honeymoon •Pick up wedding dress •Arrange payment with band or DJ, caterers, photographer, etc.

Wedding Day •Eat a good breakfast •Go to hairstyle and makeup appointments •Give yourself time to get ready •Relax. Everything will be fine.

Slikati

slikati.com | 406.274.0592

Make Your Wedding Images Stand Out For The Right Reasons

$100 off your 2013 wedding if booked by Mar 1st

Missoula Independent Page 27 Married in Montana 2013

Common cents How to be smart with your big-day budget Money is the least glamorous, least fun part of wedding planning. This is supposed to be about love, right? Money doesn’t matter! Unfortunately, experts say money is the number one thing—besides, perhaps, how to handle your in-laws—that will put you and your spouse-to-be into a prematrimonial malaise if you don’t take the time to talk about it. Knowing you want a lot of beer at the reception won’t be helpful if you

haven’t considered how much money you’ll need for music to get your guests dancing. Here’s a general breakdown of how much couples allot for each aspect of their budget. Whether you’re getting financial help from family, whether your budget is big or miniscule, it’s good to know you’ve got the essentials covered. Once you’ve got that in order, all you need is love—and some helpful bridal attendants.

Erika Peterman Photography

Missoula Independent Page 28 Married in Montana 2013

Reception: 48% Site rental, staff and tip, cake, food, decor, drinks, rentals Photographer/ Videographer: 12% Photo fees, additional prints, albums, etc. Apparel: 10% Wedding dress, veil, jewelry, hair, make-up, tuxedo rentals, shoes Music: 8% Wedding and reception, musicians, DJ, sound system rental Flowers: 8% Ceremony, bride’s bouquet, atten-

dants, reception, corsages, flower presentation Stationery: 3% Save the date cards, invitations, stamps, programs, guest book Rings: 3% Rings and engraving costs Favors and Gifts: 3% Wedding party, guests, welcome bags, etc. Ceremony: 3% Site rental, officiant, marriage license Miscellaneous: 2% *Be sure to allot some money for a honeymoon if that’s in your plan.

Kristine Paulsen Photography


Married in Montana