HOW TO PRIORITIZE Self Care & Self Love amidst the busyness of MOTHERHOOD

By Robin Jonas, INHC

Integrative

Nutrition Health Coach

Certified in Emotional Eating & Gut Health

Motherhood is one of the greatest gifts while simultaneously being one of the hardest jobs we take on. We wear so many different hats throughout our children's lives: Protector, encourager, teacher, supporter, advocate, disciplinarian and the list goes on. In addition to parenting, we have endless tasks, errands, housework, kid’s activities… and most of the time that is all mixed in with a job! Geez, I am feeling tired just writing all of this! As exhaustion sets in from caring for our families, it can feel like there is little time for self-care. Seems like just one more thing to add to the list. However, self-care is the most important gift you can give yourself that positively affects everything and everyone else around you.

The act of self-care is defined as taking active action to preserve one’s health. That’s right, your health (mental, physical, and emotional) depends on how much you pour into yourself. It means different things to different people, but what it has in common is what it does for your health. Here are a few benefits:

✓ Reduces stress by prioritizing mindfulness – participating in yoga, journaling, breath work, etc. which reduces illness and increases energy.

✓ Improves relationships because when you meet your needs to be happier, more fulfilled, you show up better for the people around you.

✓ Physical health improves because you prioritize your daily commitment to your body by feeding it well (eating healthy and moving).

Now that we know some of the benefits, you might be asking: how do I prioritize myself when I am in the throes of motherhood and life?

“Time is what we want the most, but what we use worst.”

-William Penn

✓ Boosts your self-esteem by showing up for yourself and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

Learning to manage your time effectively can help you act in areas you want to grow. We all have different relationships with time so better put: It is important to prioritize what makes you feel good so that you can show up better for others. Self-care and self-love help us to do just that.

Here are a few small shifts for you to try. Pick one or a few that feel good to you and see what happens over the next few days or weeks as you commit yourself to prioritizing it!

Time Management

• Schedule your self-care time just like an appointment

• Calendar blocking

• To-do lists the night before to prep your next day for success

• Paper calendar or scheduling apps (find what works best for you)

Sleep Habits

Sleep is often the first thing that gets neglected in motherhood. With infants you wake to feed, toddlers you wake to teething, teens you wake to make sure they are home safely. It can feel like a neverending struggle. However, if I told you that sleep does not just impact the way you feel, but it affects your immune system, your cardiovascular system, your metabolism (hormones), would you try to make it more of a priority?

Here are a few shifts you can try to create better sleep habits.

• Create your bedroom with the right conditions to sleep better. Cool, quiet, dark, clutter free, technology free (leave the EMFs out of the room), diffuse essential oils to create calmness and make your bed cozy and inviting (the last thing we want to do is jump into bed with baby/kid stuff all around us).

• Avoid caffeine 8 hours before you go to sleep and do not use alcohol to help you go to sleep because they both interfere with sleep cycles.

• Waking at the same time each morning strengthens your internal clock. Getting natural sunlight first thing helps to suppress melatonin and balance your circadian rhythm to create melatonin the next night.

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Create a PM routine. Just like your child, we as adults thrive off cues that signal our body for what is coming. In our busy day we often forget to set up an environment to signal it is time to calm down and refocus. A warm shower/bath, hot tea, listening to music or reading, gratitude journalling are just a few examples. Do what feels best for you to create a calm atmosphere to drift off to sleep!

Morning Rituals

As moms we often hit the ground running in the morning for everyone else. Getting everyone else ready for their day. But wait, what about us? Creating a sacred time and space for you is a way to crank up your self-care. Think about possible times during the day to add this in. 10 min, 30 min – whatever is possible to get you started. There are no rules for when. Some will choose to wake up 30 min before everyone else, when your baby goes down for a nap, kids are off to school, etc. This is a time to fill your daily bucket. Here are some tips!

random things. However, going back each week to reread what you wrote will often bring up themes.

• This is a great way to find areas to address that are not working for you.

• Read 5 pages of a book you are wanting to read.

• Devotional reading and/or meditation to quiet your mind and fill yourself with a positive mindset for the day.

• Gratitude journaling

Movement

• Morning pages are a great way to unload all that is on your mind. It is not formal journaling, just a way to quickly write out your feelings and all things that come to mind. It is usually a lot of

Movement has gotten a bad wrap over the years as being just a way to lose weight, not a way to just be the healthiest version of ourselves. It has also been taught that you need to do certain exercise so many minutes a day, so many times a week. Yes, some of that is true, but not for all people. Depends on where you are starting from, what phase of life you are in and what you enjoy. What do you enjoy doing? Think about your kids – they are just active and moving because they are using their energy, being creative, having fun, and exploring. Why as adults have some of us forgotten how to do that? Well let’s undo some of that! Take a step. If you currently do not do any kind of movement, start with 5-10 minutes a day. If you are already plugged in and moving, revisit what you are doing and ask yourself how much you enjoy it. The options are endless but here are a few suggestions:

• Take a walk outside. Nature is one of the best forms of selfcare. It allows you to disconnect from your busy and just be. (leave your phone at home or put it on silent)

• Think back to when you were a child, what did you like to do? Perhaps try that again or work up to being able to do that activity.

• Stretching

• Weight barring movements –with weight or use your own body weight.

• Cardio – yes you can run, do the elliptical or ride a bike but what about making it simpler to add it in any time during the day… Jumping jacks, squats, burpees, jump rope.

• Yes, you can go to the gym, but there are great apps, YouTube videos or make up your own. The idea is to just get moving!

Manage Stress

Stress is a natural part of life. If someone tells you to get rid of stress, I would love to meet them. There is no way to get rid of it all together. It’s the way we manage the “daily life stressors” that really matters. Unresolved stress can lead to weight gain, inflammation and even disease.

What happens to our body when we encounter stress? Our bodies go into fight/flight/freeze (our sympathetic nervous system is activated) and without learning tools you cannot get back into the rest/digest (parasympathetic state Some things to try:

• Grounding practice: Take a few deep breaths and name 5 things you see, 4 things you see, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste.

• Breathing practice: Inhale for 4, hold for 6, exhale for 7.

• Belly breathing: Breath in and fill your belly and slowly release through nose.

• Name 3 things you are grateful for in this current moment.

• Meditation: Try a variety because they are all different.

• Yoga: If you don’t have time to go to a studio, check out the Peloton App. I have no affiliation, but I personally love it because you can choose a variety of styles and the sessions range from 5 min to 60 min so there are no excuses for me to get it done.

Relationships

This is by far one of the greatest gifts of self-care and self-love. When we are out of alignment by not giving to ourselves, this area can suffer. Just like scheduling time for you, schedule time for your kiddos and husband. It might seem like just another task but by doing so you will create less mama guilt for pouring into yourself. Plus, you will feel so good by caring for yourself better, you will want to share yourself with the ones you love more often. Some ways to connect:

• Date night

• Family walks

• Family game nights

• One-on-one time with each child

Give yourself grace by treating yourself with compassion! Take one step at a time. One small shift repeated over and over will create a habit. Just like brushing your teeth, it will be something you do 1-3 times a day without thinking about it. Until then, just a reminder that when you are trying to find balance you are like a pendulum. You take a step or two forward and then may swing back the other way for a hot minute until you swing back to your selfcare habits. The shifts back and forth get smaller and smaller until you truly find your balance!

Note from Robin:

You come first! Can you relate to needing to prioritize your self-care and self-love to show up better for you and your family? If you said yes, what ways can you commit yourself today to take a step? If you love the idea but need more support or a community of women working to create a healthier lifestyle, join my tribe. Currently I do 1:1 coaching, but in the fall the Live Life Balanced course will launch. It will include self-care and other topics to help you create your best life (health and wellness), no matter where you are starting from! Jump on the wait list for the new course launch.

Check out my website: www.livelifebalancedwithrobin.com

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If you have any questions, feel free to dm me or shoot me an email at robin@livelifebalancedwithrobin.com

Until next time – Find peace, love, and light by breathing, being present and allowing for all the possibilities to happen!