Provide Choices & Empowerment

I don’t want to raise children who need someone to take care of them. I want to raise people who take care of themselves and don’t expect anything from anyone else. I want them to feel accomplished at the end of the day from a job well done.

Before taking ownership of a chore, some kids may need to start with a little more motivation, so incentives or a chart can be helpful. I try to stay away from rewards or treats a high five or a simple praise is often enough. “You did a great job!” when they know they earned it always feels good.

Some ideas to give “Chore Choices”:

➢ A list on the counter and a blank line next to each one. They get to claim the line and write their name there to see how many lines they can accomplish.

➢ Choice of chore A or B - they feel empowered by having a choice, but they are aware that not doing a chore is not an option.

My expectations changed and so did their behavior. They started naturally helping without being asked every time. Maisie would see the trash filling up and take it out. Francie would feed the dogs and the bottle babies in the mornings before school and as soon as she got home. They feel accountable for those things that they “own” as their duties. I don’t really need to make lists anymore for routine chores, but they still work for deep clean days or extra projects.

Have High Expectations 3

The less help we give our kids when they don’t absolutely need it, the more they will do themselves. Every kid is capable of tasks that you might not expect. So, raise your expectations! Besides the fact that the chores are getting done, they feel so proud of what they’ve accomplished, especially when it’s truly helpful and contributes to the family or community.

I think back to the summer we moved to the ranch and I really needed them to help.

I remember reading somewhere that instead of telling children we are proud of them, we should ask them if they are proud of themselves. I think that’s important to remember: We want them to do things for their own selfsatisfaction more than to make someone else happy or proud of them.

The Barter System 4

I’ve found the best way to get bigger chores done with a little complaint is to ask your kids to do them at the moment when they ask you for something. They are much more likely to complete the task willingly and happily when their request is granted as a result. In this case, I’m not talking about treats or candy – I mean something like asking to have a friend over or bringing the water toys out to play with… something that you would likely grant anyway, but not before X number of chores are done.

I try to keep a list in my head with tasks on my to-do list… change the laundry, put away a load of clean clothes, do the dishes, organize the pantry, sweep the kitchen, take out the trash, organize the recycling, etc. My favorite when I need a quick one on the fly is ‘pick up 10 things!’ Not all days are long lists of chores either! Some days it’s just “put your backpack away and go play outside in the sunshine!”

It’s

Brian and I practice that and we want the girls to know that too.