The answer

signs without taking action and still reach her goal.

Signs to watch out for Regardless of what is written on these particular signs, they are going to bombard you with thoughts and emotions whose only purpose is to get you to return to your old behavior. Then it's important to hang onto the steering wheel.

Definitely try not to ignore the signs, for then it will be easier for their message to ensnare you. Instead take note of what is on them. Perhaps you can even see a humorous aspect in some of the wording. When our relationship models are in revolt, they often deliver violently exaggerated descriptions of the dangers that threaten us. When your do-the-opposite exercise is over, you can think about how the thoughts and emotions that passed by are connected to your relationship model. What do they say about your view of others and your way of handling intimacy?

During the course of the journey, a number of signs are going to seem so believable that they risk getting you to automatically turn the wheel and drive off the road. Let's give you a few examples of signs that you ought to be extra cautious about.

The ”this isn't working” sign This kind of treacherous sign reads: “This is never going to work, cancel the whole exercise.” This sign—or this thought, rather—insists that none of what is in this book is going to help you create a relationship and therefore it's a waste of time to try. Don't be fooled. This sign is constructed by your relationship model and it shows up because you're on the right road. Just keep driving.

The “I don't feel anything for my partner” sign This sign maintains that you have no feelings for the person you're seeing and for that reason you ought to break off contact. This sign shows up because in your attempts to block the dangerous intimacy and thereby reduce the pain, you've managed to close off your feelings. This is not an indication that there is anything wrong with the relationship that you may be on your way into. On the contrary, the mysterious absence of feelings may indicate that deep inside you are very interested in the one you're seeing. The only way to feel anything again is by exposing yourself to intimacy. Leave the sign behind you and continue driving.

The “find the right one” sign Another treacherous signs reads, “Sure, it's good to do the opposite. But wait