How Your Worst Break Could Spark Your Biggest Breakthrough
Need an Extra S500 a Month? WEâ€™VE GOT A PLAN NEW BOOK CLUB PICK!
COULD YOU FORGIVE HIS CHEATING HEART? CONFESSIONS OF A LOVE WARRIOR
See Oprah go from cozy to super-chic...
Unleash the possibilities. From innocent nudes to provocative plums. Infinite ways to play.
8 irresistible shades.
My creativity? It’s time I unleash it. Get expert tips at Maybelline.com Jourdan is wearing New Lip Studio® Lip Color PaletteTM in Talk Back Red and Fight Me Fuchsia. ©2016 Maybelline LLC.
...all it takes is HOW TO GO some FROM COZY TOsparkle SUPERï¿½CHIC? and Just add sparkle and a bit a little of makeup magic! makeup magic!
A DV E RT I S E M E N T
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MAYBELLINE NEW YORK BROW DRAMAÂŽ POMADE CRAYON You canâ€™t underestimate the power of a bold, sculpted brow to transform your whole look. A perfect brow instantly makes any look more polished. Now you can achieve that coveted brow in a simple swipe. This creamy, highly pigmented formula comes in 4 rich hues and allows for easy and precise application. Youâ€™ll be a brow master in moments!
AMPLIFY YOUR LOOK Whether youâ€™re transitioning from workday to date night or from office to out and about, enhance your features with a boost from Maybelline. Shop these Maybelline products and look your best day and night.
Take your look to the next level this fall with these and other products from Maybelline. Visit Maybelline.com for more inspiration and to purchase.
MAYBELLINE NEW YORK LIP COLOR PALETTE Featuring eight creamy shades ranging from light nude to deep wine, this palette is your go-to for a muted lip or a bold pout. To achieve your best lip, donâ€™t stick to just one but layer together a few shades in the same tone family. The result will be a full, rich lip â€“ perfect for day or evening.
MAYBELLINE NEW YORK FACE STUDIOÂŽ MASTER CONTOUR V-SHAPE DUO STICK One of the most popular makeup techniques of the moment is contouring. Now you can achieve that coveted look with ease. This duo stick comes in 3 shades for different skin tones and features a contour side to add structure to the hollows of your cheeks and a highlight side to enhance your cheekbones. Just swipe on and blend to be instantly transformed, looking lifted and polished and ready to take on anything.
Right Angles Oprah’s makeup artist extraordinaire, Derrick Rutledge, explains how to easily create instant cheekbones through the art of contouring.
Our cover model playing around with product!
CONTOURING STEP 1: Keep three products in your arsenal: a base foundation, a contour shade, and highlighter. The contour color should be only a shade or two darker than your base.
STEP 2: Highlight what you want to accentuate, like cheekbones, and use the contour shade to define the hollows of your cheeks, just beneath your jawline, and around your temples.
STEP 3: Blend well with a damp sponge, and finish by dusting your entire face with loose powder. The key is to see subtle definition, not streaks— especially when you want a natural daytime look.
Dark shades can lift cheekbones and elongate the neck.
“It gives you bone structure where you don’t have any!” OPRAH
RAGING RAISIN It may look silly, but mapping out your face with a highlighter and contour shade is key; it helps you create a balanced effect. Ta-da! Rutledge blends it all together for a beautiful natural finish.
Blipp this page or this month’s cover to unlock an exclusive behindthe-scenes video of our October cover shoot. Need the Blippar app? Download it for free. (Available for Apple, Android, and Windows.)
Oprah loved these Maybelline New York Color Sensational The Loaded Bolds creamy matte lipsticks so much, she took them home! ($7.50 each; drugstores)
Get expert tips at Maybelline.com J ourdan is wearing New Color Tattoo Eye Chrome TM in Sharp Purple, Bold Sapphire, Khaki Kool, Electric Emerald and Silver Spark.
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126 Live Your Best Life
FEATURES 126 ALL TOGETHER NOW In the final installment of our three-part series on mental health, we explore the healing power of communities where people find—in one another—the support they need to thrive.
138 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? Scaling new heights with rock-solid climber Hazel Findlay.
140 FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT Oprah talks with writer Glennon Doyle Melton—whose memoir Love Warrior is her new book club pick—about fear, faith, and how good it feels to finally get real.
23 An orthodontist sings a new tune...the triumphant museum Oprah hopes all Americans will visit...a yellow Lab with one buzzworthy job... writer Monique Barry on what she learned from her mother’s (many) secrets...and more. 32 THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GAYLE
144 HAUTE & COLD Fabulous coats and statement boots that will have you yearning for winter. ON THE COVER: Oprah photographed by Ruven Afanador. FASHION EDITOR: Jenny Capitain. HAIR: Nicole Mangrum. MAKEUP: Derrick Rutledge. MANICURE: Roseann Singleton using Dior Vernis at Art Department. SET DESIGN: Todd Wiggins for Mary Howard Studio. ON OPRAH: Day: Sweater, H&M Studio. Earrings, Jill Heller. Night: Cardigan, Marc Jacobs. Earrings, Amrapali. Rings (from left), Eva Fehren (2), H.Stern (top), Nina Runsdorf, and Eva Fehren. For details see Shop Guide. “Right Angles” photographs: Alex Kugler (4); foundation, J Muckle/Studio D; lipsticks (from top), Greg Marino/Studio D and J Muckle/Studio D (2).
Editor at large Gayle King cuts a piece of her new favorite cake (and eats it, too) and dishes with Divorce star Sarah Jessica Parker.
O CTOBER 2016
May We Help You?
35 ELIZABETH GILBERT
63 FAB FIND With these
Why our most painful experiences can be our most useful.
snuggly scarves, you’ll have fall style all wrapped up.
41 DEAR LISA Labor day decorum and a wedding party pooper: Writer at large Lisa Kogan untangles it all.
46 FARNOOSH TORABI Four ingenious ways to earn extra cash.
50 MARTHA BECK Feeling put-upon is a habit you can break. Here’s how.
64 GREAT BUYS UNDER $100 Black is anything but basic when it’s the backdrop for vivid Asianinspired florals.
66 ADAM’S STYLE SHEET Creative director Adam Glassman’s favorite fall pieces will put you in the best kind of blue mood.
69 ADAM’S HOME STYLE SHEET Rustic wood and industrial metal come together for a thoroughly modern look.
69 64 99
CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: THE VOORHES. RICHARD MAJCHRZAK. NOELIA LOZANO. COURTESY OF LAMPS PLUS. LINDA XIAO. GREGOR HALENDA. COURTESY OF KATE SPADE. PETER ROSA.
157 O, Beautiful!
75 FALL 2016 BEAUTY O-WARDS Whether you
99 THE NEW RULES OF BREAST CANCER Thanks
115 Ann Patchett’s
157 YOUR COOKING QUESTIONS, ANSWERED
have curls or a pixie cut, olive skin or freckles, we’ve found what you need to make your unique beauty shine— in our roundup of the season’s best new products, curated by complexion and hair type. Plus: your chance to win beauty booty worth more than $2,500!
to cutting-edge research, we’re pulling ahead in the race to beat the disease, which means we can focus not just on survival but also on quality of life. Here’s what you need to know to stay as healthy, sane, and you as possible—during your treatment and for all the years to come.
93 VAL’S GUIDE TO GORGEOUS Beauty
112 TEST PREP Dr. Oz on the ins and outs of genetic testing for breast cancer.
director Valerie Monroe on six sensational fragrances, cosmetics for a cause, and more.
devastating portrait of an affair’s fallout... Emma Donoghue’s novel about an Irish miracle girl...exile and romance in postrevolutionary Russia...Ian McEwan’s wildly creative reimagining of Hamlet... and 20 titles to pick up now, including Alexandra Kleeman’s brilliant short-story collection and Belle Boggs’s moving essays on fertility and motherhood.
Want the secret recipes for crispy chicken and an impressive, foolproof appetizer? We enlisted seven chefs and cookbook authors to tackle your top kitchen quandaries.
O CTOBER 2016
IN EVERY ISSUE 12 14 16 18 21 55
CONTRIBUTORS BEHIND THE SCENES THE QUESTION LET’S TALK! OPRAH: HERE WE GO! THE O LIST: ANIMAL EDITION 167 SHOP GUIDE 168 OPRAH: WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE
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WHAT WORD OR PHRASE BEST DESCRIBES WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE’S JOURNEY? Contentment. FOUNDER AND EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
Oprah Winfrey EDITOR IN CHIEF
Lucy Kaylin EDITOR AT LARGE
Gayle King DEPUTY EDITOR
MANAGING EDITOR & DIRECTOR, EDITORIAL PARTNERSHIPS
So damn lucky.
I need a map!
WRITER AT LARGE
ARTICLES ARTICLES EDITOR Katie Arnold-Ratliff FASHION FEATURES EDITOR Nicole McGovern SENIOR ASSOCIATE EDITORS Elyse Moody, Molly Simms ASSOCIATE EDITOR Zoe Donaldson ASSISTANT EDITORS Dotun Akintoye, June Jennings
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Just keep swimming.
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INTERNS ART Kathy Powell EDITORIAL Halle Liebman, Erica Sloan FASHION Meredith Coughlin, Rachel Harris,
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CONTRIBUTING EDITORS AND WRITERS
Martha Beck, Nate Berkus, Donna Brazile, Brené Brown, PhD, Meredith Bryan, Michelle Burford, Kym Canter, Jenny Capitain, Susan Casey, Elizabeth Gilbert, Bob Greene, Sanjay Gupta, MD, Andrew Holden, Phillip C. McGraw, PhD, Mehmet Oz, MD, Maria Shriver, Farnoosh Torabi, Iyanla Vanzant, Peter Walsh
Midlife at the oasis!
Lois Alter Mark
I N S TAG R A M M E R O F T H E M O N T H
Finding my inner unicorn.
OPRAH.COM EDITOR IN CHIEF Mamie Healey EXECUTIVE EDITOR Naomi Kim SENIOR WEB EDITOR Ruth Baron WEB EDITOR Katherine Fung FOOD EDITOR Lynn Andriani HEALTH EDITOR Emma Haak BOOKS EDITOR Leigh Newman CONTRIBUTING COPY EDITOR Myles Evans CONTRIBUTING WEB PRODUCERS Pamela Masin, Joann Pan, Ashley Sepanski CONTRIBUTING WEB ASSISTANT Hannah Freedman WEB INTERN Mia Chism
O CTOBER 2016
Life is beautiful. The Fragrance of Happiness.
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Where I’m supposed to be.
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On the verge.
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O CTOBER 2016
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Contributors Mary Roach, Writer “THE TRIMESTER OF MY DISCONTENT,” PAGE 120
Moments of Truth
My go-to strategy when everything falls apart is...throwing myself on the sofa and wallowing in self-pity for half an hour, max. One thing that prompted a turning point in my life was... a fortune cookie that said TRY SOMETHING NEW. I’d been dragging my feet about writing a book—and here I am, seven books later.
Five of the creative minds behind this month’s issue recall their struggles and triumphs.
Alexx Watts, Makeup artist The truth tellers I count on are...my friends Erkkie, Oriton, and Darlene. These women always tell me what I need to hear, even though it may sting at first. One thing that prompted a turning point in my life was...seeing the work of my beauty school students. It inspired me to return to being a makeup artist after a five-year hiatus.
Chef “HOW CAN I UP MY COMFORT-FOOD GAME?,” PAGE 160
The Voorhes, Photographers “ALL TOGETHER NOW!,” PAGE 126
The truth teller I count on is...my father. He values my well-being as much as anyone but never holds back from telling me when I’m wrong. I feel one-hundred-percent strong when I...pick up vegetables from the farmers’ market and head to the kitchen without a plan for what’s to come.
The truth teller we count on is...each other. Criticism isn’t easy, but it’s important to work as a team to elevate our images as much as we can. The bravest thing we’ve ever done is...go into business together. The lack of security is scary, but somehow we’ve figured it out!
Michelle Wildgen, Writer “WORK OF HEART,” PAGE 132
My go-to strategy when everything falls apart is...corralling my husband, my best friend, a colleague, or whoever I think most understands whatever it is that’s gone wrong. Then I rant. The bravest thing I’ve ever done is...have a baby!
O CTOBER 2016
ROACH: JAKE STANGEL. THE VOORHES: ADAM VOORHES. WATTS: ROBERTO LIGRESTI. CHRISTENSEN: JOHNNY AUTRY. WILDGEN: STEVE O’BRIAN.
“FALL 2016 BEAUTY O-WARDS,” PAGE 75
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Behind the Scenes
Double Feature Oprah poses in two looks as different as night and day.
OUR COVER MODEL is a woman of many moods, as she revealed at this month’s special two-in-one cover shoot: For daytime Oprah got cozy in a chunky H&M sweater; for evening she emerged from the cocoon and went into full dazzle mode, with a glittery dress, glitzy jewels, and rich nail polish. Oprah’s makeup artist, Derrick Rutledge, performed his own quick-change act, sculpting our model’s features with contouring, the strategic placement of darker and lighter shades of foundation (look inside the cover for his tips). The effects may be dramatic, but you can try the technique long before the sun goes down, says Rutledge: “Just blend it, blend it, blend it.” Oprah was impressed by the magical power of contouring: “If you have a pumpkin face, you’ll look like an almond,” she said. A transforming experience indeed. —NICOLE M C GOVERN
This sweater is only $70 at H&M. Can you believe it? DAY
Slip on colorful gemstones for an easy everyday look.
Nothing adds polish to an outfit like a manicure. Opt for muted hues during the day and deep, dark shades in the evening. Short on time? “Apply a coat of a translucent sparkly polish over your current color to instantly jazz it up,” suggests manicurist Roseann Singleton.
Add some glam after hours with edgy geometric jewels.
7 10 12
1. Janis by Janis Savitt, $135 each; janissavitt.com 2. Deborah Lippmann Gel Lab Pro Color in Love Hangover, $20; deborahlippmann.com 3. $48; jcrew.com 4. Chanel Le Vernis Longwear Nail Colour in Ballerina, $28; chanel.com 5. $2,700; johnhardy.com 6. OPI Nail Lacquer in Inside the Isabelletway, $10; ulta.com O CTOBER 2016
7. Pandora Jewelry, (from top) $60, $50, $125, and $85; pandora.net 8. Essie Nail Polish in Tribal Text-Styles, $8.50; essie.com 9. Stella & Dot, $29; stelladot.com 10. Lancôme Vernis in Love in Rive Gauche, $16; lancome-usa.com 11. $2,990; heartsonfire.com 12. Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Can’t Beet Royalty, $10; drugstores
ALEC KUGLER (2). STILL LIFE: DEVON JARVIS/STUDIO D. PROP STYLIST: NORINE SMITH/HALLEY RESOURCES.
MINDY COLEMAN Asheville, North Carolina
After being overweight for four years, I joined Weight Watchers. My youngest daughter purchased my three-month membership, and my husband now eats what I eat every day. They make it easy for me to stay on course. CARMEN LAX-RAY Little Elm, Texas
Our Next Question
Q THIS MONTH WE WONDERED...
When did your support system rally around you?
When I decided to get a doctoral degree, my family and friends made it possible. Knowing that my home and children were cared for while I went to night classes made all the difference. I’m scheduled to graduate next year.
TRICIA RICHARDS South Abington Township, Pennsylvania
When I lived in Texas, my girlfriends Sue, Linda, and Judy all took turns flying there to help with my recovery after I had a cancerous tumor removed. I often ask, who in the world has friends like this? I do.
What’s one gift you wish you could give someone? Tell us at oprah.com/ question or email us at thequestion@ hearst.com, and your response could be featured in our December issue.
My family friend Erica secretly started a GoFundMe page to help cover the vet bills after my beloved Labradors had to be euthanized. It went viral, and within four days, the online community raised enough money to pay them off. Even though I miss my fur babies, I thank the stars for human angels.
When I got divorced, my friends gave me gift cards to Bed Bath & Beyond. I bought new sheets and comforters that were all mine. I slept every night feeling like my friends were hugging me through the tough readjustment.
ANNE PALMER Saratoga, California
CAROLYN GENTILE Mars, Pennsylvania
LIZ WEILER Lawrenceville, Georgia pinterest.com/oprah
Seven months into my pregnancy, I was confined to total bed rest. Every Thursday my friends came and created a picnic-style lunch on my bed. My twins were born healthy, and I still had a bit of sanity left! KATHY B. REDD Bountiful, Utah
O CTOBER 2016
SUBMISSIONS CHOSEN FOR PUBLICATION MAY BE EDITED FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY. LAX-RAY: ALYSIA AND ANGELA PORTER. RICHARDS: COURTESY OF TRICIA RICHARDS. PALMER: ERICA CONNORS. GENTILE: LINDA COOPER MALLONEE. REDD: WINTER C. REDD.
When I experienced three major losses in six months, my friends showed up on my porch to grieve with me. They didn’t try to fix anything or rush me through my feelings. They were simply there for me.
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Evolutionary Road On making changes and taking chances.
FREE TO BE
Elizabeth Gilbert’s essay “Upward and Onward!” spoke to my soul because I once felt like that lone crab in the dysfunctional bucket, trying to escape. I tell every young person I meet to be themselves and to live their life. After all, we only get one. CYNTHIA WATKINS Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
Your August guide to meditation was wonderful. It’s time for this practice to receive more attention—it can be life-altering! MARY A. SOVRAN Raleigh, North Carolina
Two years ago, I was lucky enough to attend Oprah’s The Life You Want Weekend in Atlanta. Unfortunately, I missed out when Deepak Chopra was leading the audience in meditation because I was too busy looking around to see whether other people had their eyes closed. So I was excited for the August issue’s in-depth meditation guide. I’m so glad to have a second chance to get it right! REBECCA HILL Los Angeles
VERONICA EVANS Bermuda Dunes, California
Five lucky readers will each win a $1,000 Talbots gift card—just in time for a fabulous fall/winter wardrobe update. Go to oprah.com/talbotssweeps to enter. For rules see Shop Guide.
CONNECT WITH US! To receive updates from the editors, sign up for our email newsletters at oprah.com/newsletters. To share your feedback on this issue, email us your full name, city, and state at firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also visit facebook.com/oprahmagazine or tweet us @O_Magazine. (For subscription questions, go to service.theoprahmag.com.) Letters chosen for publication may be edited for length and clarity. All submissions and manuscripts become the property of Hearst Communications, Inc.
O CTOBER 2016
“OM SWEET OM” PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: C.J. BURTON
OM SWEET OM
I just want to say congratulations to Theresa Robbins, the subject of Iyanla’s column for the past several months. When we do what we feel is best for our children, we always learn phenomenal things about them and ourselves. Everyone wins.
IGNITE SOMETHING O N LY T H E P E R F E C T C U T C A N U N L E A S H A DIAMONDâ€™S BRILLIANCE.
H E A R T S O N F I R E S T O R E S , A U T H O R I Z E D R E TA I L E R S , 8 7 7- P E R F E C T
Here We Go!
offer hope and healing to those who need it most (page 126). And you’ll see: When we harness our humanity, we can work miracles. Humanity and healing are also at the heart of my new book club selection, Glennon Doyle Melton’s Love Warrior. Reading it reminded me that our darkest moments can lead to light, if only we let them. You can learn more about the book and Glennon’s journey on page 140. I hope you hold your loved ones tight today and have someone holding on to you, too. We’re all living on this planet—why not make it a little kinder for one another, however we can?
EW THINGS ARE more powerful than human connection. It gives us strength, comfort, love, and happiness, and makes us feel at home in the world. When things get tough for us, we can, if we’re lucky, depend on our friends, confide in our family, and find solace in our significant other. If we’re really lucky, their presence helps us right ourselves, inspiring us to carry on. But sometimes our most restorative connections are with people who start out as strangers. In the final installment of our threepart series on mental health, you’ll meet men and women who’ve forged communities that
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Live Your Best Life
“Remember you are all people and all people are you.” —JOY HARJO, “REMEMBER”
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Live Your Best Life
The Gratitude Meter
AW W W TO AW E S O
Five things we can’t stop smiling about this month.
BY Zoe Donaldson
TIME WARP On October 20, Fox premieres a remake of the 1975 campy cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Playing the stilettowearing scientist Dr. FrankN-Furter? The absolutely fabulous Laverne Cox, supported by Adam Lambert (as Eddie) and original RHPS legend Tim Curry (as the criminologist).
YOUR NAME HERE Yet another reason to welcome fall: personalized jean jackets! Madewell’s new monogramming option lets you pick any piece from its denim bar (say, a chambray shirt) and one of 18 thread colors (say, canary yellow) to embroider your name or bowling team alter ego. To design your one-of-a-kind duds, visit madewell.com. AFTERWORDS Since 2004, Michelle Sanders has rescued hundreds of thousands of books from tragic landfill fates. Her company, Attic Journals, breathes new life into old volumes, turning them into journals, garlands, and more—so they can all live usefully ever after. (atticjournals.com)
inspector, Mack is responsible for identifying infected hives. “Dogs have greater accuracy than people,” says the gifted sniffer’s owner, Cybil Preston, Maryland’s chief (human) apiarist. “On Mack’s first day, he checked 545 beehives in less than two hours. That would’ve taken a human days, if not weeks!” The work might seem minor, but Mack and Preston are on the front lines of securing their state’s food supply. “Pollinators like honeybees help fertilize up to a third of everything we eat,” says Preston. “We rely heavily on these little insects—and
TO DETECT AND TO SERVE One government employee is doing his part to protect at-risk bee colonies—in exchange for belly rubs.
WHEN HE’S ON the clock, Mack, a 3-year-old yellow Lab, is hot on the trail of one thing: a pungent odor that evokes rot and the inside of a chicken coop. The source of this funky scent is American foulbrood, a disease that can destroy beehive colonies. As Maryland’s canine apiary O CTOBER 2016
they rely on us to help keep them healthy.” When Preston was promoted to her post in 2014, she was happy to continue the state’s long tradition of hiring canine inspectors. Later that year, she met and rescued Mack. “He needed a home, and I needed a reliable partner,” she says. “It was a win-win.” After eight months of training, Mack was ready to put his nose to the grindstone. “Before we go to work,” says Preston, “we wrestle, throw a ball, play tug of war—Mack knows when it’s time to go.” But he’s a different dog off duty: “At home, he’s a couch potato.” —MOLLY SIMMS
THE GRATITUDE METER, CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: COURTESY OF MOTIVATIONAL TATTOOS. COURTESY OF ARTISAN BOOKS. COURTESY OF MADEWELL. ZERLINA PANUSH. STEVE WILKIE/FOX. MACK: CYBIL PRESTON, STATE APIARIST FOR THE MARYLAND DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE. BEES: JELGER HERDER/BUITEN-BEELD/MINDEN PICTURES.
HEAL THYSELF Sometimes the biggest pick-me-ups come in the smallest packages. Motivational Tattoos are temporary faux ink in the shape of bandages featuring encouraging words and phrases—including I CAN AND I WILL and STRENGTH—to boost you up when you’re feeling down. Find your fix at motivationaltattoos.com.
BINDER FULL OF WOMEN In the Company of Women is a toast to lady power. The collection of motto-worthy optimism, edited by Design*Sponge founder Grace Bonney, includes artist Christine Schmidt’s motivating maxim (“Make something awful, a golden failure”) and designer Justina Blakeney’s business advice (“Take a deep breath, then ask for double”).
You’re an expert in the art of compromise. Except when it comes to your cookies.
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Live Your Best Life
SECOND ACT Pettis performing at Pacific Lutheran University in Tacoma, Washington, in 2011.
GLAD TO HEAR IT A few of the soulful singers Pettis plays on rotation.
SARAH VAUGHAN “She used her entire voice to serve the music.”
All That Jazz An orthodontist traded her lab coat for snazzy dresses and a spotlight.
AIL PET TIS CAN’T explain the difference between Lydian and Dorian scales, but that doesn’t concern the 58-year-old jazz singer one bit. Because when Pettis saunters up to a microphone and unleashes her rich alto on a Nat King Cole classic, technicalities are the last thing on her mind. “Jazz is about expressing what’s inside you in a real way,” she says. “When I sing, I feel like I’m doing what I was born to do. It’s how I imagine flying would feel.” Twenty years ago, Pettis was an orthodontist who had just opened her own practice in Seattle. “My mom was a nurse and my dad was an anesthesiologist,” says the Harvard-trained doctor. “The question wasn’t if I’d be involved in medicine, but which branch I’d pursue.” To tap into her creative side, she kept up with a variety of hobbies: For years, the favorite was swing dancing, but when a knee injury hobbled her in 2001, she signed up on a whim for a jazz performance workshop. “I was the only adult in a
class full of middle and high schoolers,” she says. “I was completely lost—I hadn’t taken a music course since 1976!” When it ended, though, her teacher encouraged her to join weekly jam sessions with his band. “I didn’t know music theory or terminology,” she says. “But my instructor told me that before there were words to describe music, there was music itself. That’s when the bug bit.” Pettis mustered up the courage to sell her practice in 2006. Since then, the captivating chanteuse has released two albums and booked shows in venues both humble (the dining room of an assisted-living facility) and stately (in front of a crowd of 2,000 at last year’s White Nights Swing festival in St. Petersburg, Russia). And while she admires legends like Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald, she doesn’t want to simply echo their sound. “I never cover something lick for lick,” she says. “The last thing I’d want to be is someone you’ve heard before. I’m out there to make the songs my own.” —MELISSA GOLDBERG
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TONY BENNETT “He takes such obvious visible delight in singing!”
Hear Pettis’s silky pipes on her eponymous YouTube channel.
PETTIS: JOHN FROSCHAUER/PACIFIC LUTHERAN UNIVERSITY. “GLAD TO HEAR IT,” FROM TOP: ARAYA DIAZ/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES. TONY BOCK/TORONTO STAR VIA GETTY IMAGES. PETER KRAMER/NBC/NBC NEWSWIRE VIA GETTY IMAGES.
ED REED “He makes you feel as though you’re looking directly into his heart. I was reduced to tears the first time I heard him in concert.”
Live Your Best Life CROWNING GLORY “Mae Reeves was born in Georgia and migrated to Philadelphia, where in 1941 she opened an haute couture hat shop called Mae’s Millinery. She kept it open until 1994. The notion of this woman making hats for the elite and for the street is powerful. Reeves is now more than 100 years old, and her hats are just doggone beautiful. She gave us about 20 or 30 of them.”
ONE TO WATCH
Twelve years ago, Oprah was asked to join the advisory council of the National Museum of African American History and Culture—and though she’d turned down similar requests before, this opportunity was too momentous to miss. “Understanding the depths of where you’ve come from to be who you are is as important for each individual as it is for a country,” she says. On September 24, she’ll be in attendance when the long-awaited institution, located on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., officially opens. “This museum is a living testament to the struggle, value, and victories African Americans have contributed to make America great,” says Oprah. The museum’s director, Lonnie G. Bunch III, seconds that sentiment: “We’re reclaiming the Mall as a sacred space in our history.” —ELYSE MOODY
RAISE EVERY VOICE “When a collector in Philadelphia told me he had Harriet Tubman material I’d want to see, I figured it would be a waste of time—I didn’t think there was anything of hers left to find. Then he pulled out pictures of her funeral that I’d never seen. By the time he showed me her hymnal, I was crying. It has all the spirituals she sang when she went down south to help slaves escape.”
WOMAN OF LETTERS “Carlotta Walls LaNier, one of the Little Rock Nine”—a group of students who intrepidly enrolled at a newly desegregated school in Arkansas in 1957—“wore this matching blouse and skirt on her first day. Her family had saved money to buy her a new outfit, and the pattern on this one contains the letters of the alphabet. That’s what her parents wanted her to remember: ‘This is about learning. Don’t let anybody turn you around.’”
WHEELIN’ AND ROCKIN’
Grand Tour In the past decade, Lonnie G. Bunch III (above) and his curators have acquired more than 37,000 items from around the world. Here, he walks us through five of the collection’s most storied artifacts:
EYES ON THE PRIZE “Muhammad Ali wore this headgear at the 5th St. Gym in Miami, where he trained with Angelo Dundee after winning the gold in the 1960 Olympics. Dundee’s gym was one of the few desegregated places in Miami. I think this headgear really symbolizes Ali as a fighter, as someone who both got into the ring and fought to protect his own liberties and conscience.”
“This is the Cadillac that Chuck Berry drove onstage in the documentary Hail! Hail! Rock ’n’ Roll. He always does things his way. I sent one of my curators out to meet him, and they had lunch together, and lunch with Chuck Berry meant ice cream sandwiches. I guess that was enough to break the ice— he signed the paperwork and handed the keys over to us.”
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MUSEUM: ALAN KARCHMER. ARTIFACTS: COURTESY OF SMITHSONIAN’S NATIONAL MUSEUM OF AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CULTURE (5). BUNCH: SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION.
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Live Your Best Life
TRUTH BE TOLD After nursing a decades-long addiction to fiction, Monique Barry’s mom is finally coming clean.
“Don’t I look good? I tell you this so you know you no need a facelift.” “I wasn’t going to get a facelift,” I said, dazed. “Is Dad really 72?” “Yes, I ten years older. Your daddy divorce me if he find out. He no want to be married to a old woman.” I asked her how, in half a century, Dad hadn’t noticed the discrepancy. “Is all changed,” she said. While she was attending college in the ’60s, a friend took out her calligraphy set and turned 1932 into 1938 on my mom’s Taiwanese visa. With that, my mother’s age changed for good. Mom kept grinning. I didn’t get what she was so happy about. “I told you I almost dead!” she said. I don’t know why the lie came as a shock. Mom was no stranger to secrets. I was in college when she called one day, starting the usual way: “Monee, what you eat today?” “I don’t know, Mom. Chicken,” I said. “What kind? It taste good?” “It was chicken, Mom.” “Okay, okay,” she said. “You wanna hear a secret? You know Sarah?” “The lady who works with you?” “She your sister,” she said. “I no tell your daddy when we marry, only tell about Lulu”—Lulu being her daughter from a previous marriage. “One daughter no big deal, can be mistake. Two daughter—no look so good.” When I was a kid, Mom’s word had been gospel. Two-way conversations didn’t exist; if we disagreed, she’d say, “I Chinese mother. Don’t ask question.” But now the secrets began trickling O CTOBER 2016
The author and her we ll-preserved mother in 2016.
out. Minor plastic surgeries. Affairs with high-profile men. And she was six years closer to death than I’d realized. I’d never acknowledged that Mom would someday die. Hell, I’d barely considered that she could die. Now I’m fixated on her mortality. I cannot imagine not having her here. Yet she seems healthier, lighter, than she has in years. Maybe because the burden of her lies has been lifted. Recently, Mom told a story about a visit to the post office: “A nice man help me. He ask where I from. I say Taiwan. His wife from Taiwan, too. He say she 73. I say how old are you? He say 53. I say you got a bad deal!” Mom cocked her head toward Dad, then “winked” by squeezing both eyes open and shut a few times. “Someone else got a bad deal, too!” Dad was oblivious. And Mom just laughed and laughed. MONIQUE BARRY lives in Los Angeles and is writing a collection of personal essays.
When I was a kid, Mom’s word had been gospel. Now the secrets began trickling out.
COURTESY OF MONIQUE BARRY (3). NAMES IN THIS STORY HAVE BEEN CHANGED.
Y MOTHER IS Chinese, apple shaped, with a frizzy home-dyed bob. Dad’s a white guy with a bad toupee. They’re not getting any younger, as Mom likes to remind me: “How come you no call me back? You know I gonna die soon.” She’s been in the States for years and still sounds like she arrived yesterday. For most of my life, I never thought about Mom’s age. She still cooks huge dinners. The only health issue that’s plagued her is hives, which she developed in . They were so bad, they sometimes flared up in her throat. She was on a strict diet and a regimen of cortisones, antihistamines, blood pressure pills, and Xanax. (Or at least she told me it was Xanax; once, she offered me one, and it turned out to be Zyrtec.) The drugs made her spacey, forgetful. She was happy to share her misery with strangers. “I love shrimp. But it make itch all over my body,” she’d tell the waitress. One day she decided to quit her meds. Her hives disappeared. Her mood lifted. She started eating everything she thought she was allergic to. It made no sense. Not long after, she came to my house for dinner. When we finished, she helped me clean the kitchen. “Hey, Monee, you wanna hear a secret?” she asked. “Sure,” I said. She leaned in. “I 82 years old.” “What? No you’re not, you’re 76.” “No, I say 76. I 82.” She beamed.
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Live Your Best Life
WHO’S A GOOD BOY?
STARTING OCTOBER 9, HBO
will be keeping me up later than usual with its fall Sunday lineup. First up: Sarah Jessica Parker’s new comedy, Divorce, in which she plays Frances, a suburban mom whose lackluster marriage starts to fall apart—or so she says—after her husband (Thomas Haden Church) grows a hideous moustache. But we find out Frances is actually a big cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. (No, not with Mr. Big.) I don’t want to give too much away, but if you followed Carrie Bradshaw through Manhattan, it’s safe to say you’ll be following Frances through her new spin on “Till death do us part.”
to have a bad day when a dog is around. Exhibit A: Photographer Ty Foster’s joyful book Lick Puppies, which features 80 pictures of adorable pups wagging their tongues. Writes Foster, “With this book, you are basically holding pure happiness in the palms of your hands.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
With Parker, who is also an executive producer on Divorce, in 2014.
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO
Gayle O’s editor at large shares what she’s loving this month.
NEXT, A NEWCOMER WHOSE
FUN FACT: WHEN A PLANE RIDE
name I won’t forget: Issa Rae. In her TV debut, Insecure, she stars as an average 29-year-old (also named Issa) navigating life’s ups (her friendship with bestie Molly) and downs (a boyfriend whose plans for her birthday include renting a movie from 7-Eleven). The show is real, raw, funny—everything but insecure.
gets bumpy, I play OneRepublic’s lesser-known track “Waking Up.” I calm down the instant I hear the shimmering strings that come exactly four minutes and one second into the song. (Yes, I fly a lot.) Now the band is releasing its fourth studio album, Oh My My, on October 7—with powerful songs like the title track that keep the melodic rock flavor OneRepublic is known for, plus a new pop sound (think Justin Bieber’s latest hits) on tunes like “Wherever I Go.” Wherever I go, Oh My My will be coming along for the ride, just in case the going gets rough.
GOOD TO THE LAST CRUMB
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D PUT a carrot cake on this page because they’re usually too dry (and I like my carrots in juice). Then my producer at CBS came to work with one from Lloyd’s Carrot Cake, and a small bite turned my “No thanks!” into “Lord have mercy, where is that from?” It was so great, I shared it with
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O staffers; one even compared it to her grandma’s irresistible version. The New York City bakery is testing an online store it hopes to launch soon—but in the meantime, a scrumptious slice is worth the trip to one of its locations in Manhattan or the Bronx. (Cakes start at $11.50; lloydscarrotcake.com)
Want even more of Gayle behind the scenes? Follow @oprahmagazine.
Follow Gayle on Instagram and Twitter @GayleKing.
KING AND PARKER: JAKE ROSENBERG OF THE COVETEUR. “GOOD BOY”: LICK PUPPIES, PUBLISHED BY KNOCK KNOCK LLC © 2016 TY FOSTER (2). ONEREPUBLIC: MATTHEW EISMAN/GETTY IMAGES. CARROT CAKE: COURTESY OF LLOYD’S CARROT CAKE. INSECURE: JOHN P. FLEENOR/HBO. DIVORCE: CRAIG BLANKENHORN/HBO.
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You can let life’s inevitable torments cut you down—or you can use them to grow. MANY YEARS AGO, I met a man named Jim MacLaren, who had one of the most extraordinary life stories I’d ever heard. Jim had come into manhood with all the promise in the world: He’d been an ambitious student at Yale and was a talented athlete and handsome young actor in training. Then one beautiful fall evening in New York City—one of those shimmering, velvety nights, he said, when everything seems possible—he was hit by a bus and lost part of his leg. But Jim was a survivor, and so he overcame his loss and transformed himself into a champion marathoner and Ironman athlete. Inspiring, right? But wait—it doesn’t end there. Several years later, Jim was competing in a triathlon. Despite his prosthetic leg, he was far ahead of many of his more able-bodied competitors, leading a pack of speeding bicyclists down a stretch of road that was supposed to be closed for the race. A van, which was
ILLUSTRATIONS BY Julia Breckenreid
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May We Help You?
mistakenly allowed to pass through the intersection, hit Jim and instantly broke his neck. Now the amputee was a quadriplegic. Suddenly it’s not such an inspiring story. Suddenly it’s a horrifying story, one that raises all sorts of unanswerable questions about life and suffering and injustice. After the second accident, Jim awoke in the hospital enraged at God: It wasn’t enough to throw a bus at me? You had to break my neck, too? Jim’s story goes so far beyond the realm of “fair” that it knocks the breath right out of you. Why would a good man be put through such torment? We’ve all seen this happen. Destiny starts raining down hammers on somebody and will not let up. Just when your friend’s cancer is in remission, her house burns down. On the same day your sister gets fired, her husband walks out on her. The surprise tax bill arrives just a few hours before your mother’s funeral. Sometimes it’s one catastrophe after another. You don’t know whether you should duck, weep, run screaming, or just start punching in all directions. When I face a catastrophe of my own, I remember Jim MacLaren. After he broke his neck, he fell into depression and drug addiction. But a spirit in this man kept reaching for the light—a spirit of divine curiosity, which pushed him to ask, Who am I now, after I’ve lost everything? By the time I met Jim, he’d answered that question. Peaceful in his wheelchair, he radiated certainty that his entire purpose (indeed, his entire identity) was to live in a state of unconditional love.
A spirit of divine curiosity pushed this man to ask, Who am I now, after I’ve lost everything? I asked him whether he thought his suffering had transformed him into a better person. “Absolutely,” he said. I asked whether suffering always transforms people into a better version of themselves. “Not necessarily,” he said. Jim explained to me that suffering is one of the most powerful energy forces in the universe—but only if you use it as an instrument of change. People must be willing to journey all the way to the bottom of their pain and experience full catharsis—to completely break apart so they can then rebuild themselves anew. As Jim said, “Suffering without catharsis is nothing but wasted pain.”
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He said the world is filled with people who have suffered horribly and crawled away broken. They never reached catharsis; they just got shattered and stayed shattered. And then there are the great masters (Gandhi, Mandela, King) who used their suffering as an incredible engine to transform into something better. Jim MacLaren taught me never to waste my pain—he taught me to enter straight into it with divine curiosity instead of running from it. And if you can learn to do that? Honestly, my friends, you can do anything. ELIZABETH GILBERT is the author of, most recently, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.
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May We Help You?
Lady in Waiting, Wedding Bell Blues, Parental Guidance
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My boyfriend and I dated for ten months and moved in together a year ago. Here’s the thing: His folks live only six miles away, and I’ve never met them. He gets together with them for dinner every few weeks, but when I ask if I can come or invite them over, all he says is “soon.” Should I be patient, furious, or hurt? —RAC HEL, MAINE
ILLUSTRATION BY Brett Ryder
It sounds like you’ve been patient, which brings us to furious versus hurt. But dammit, girl, this is America—you’re allowed to be both! That said, we’re not looking for drama; you’ve got a lifetime to slam doors and flounce Mariah Carey–style. What we want is to get to that sticky, nougatty center of truth. I mean, I’d be all for the whole “ignorance is bliss” concept if it actually worked. But the story comes out eventually, and when it does, bliss makes a run for it. Something is definitely going on, so sit him down and explain that the expiration date on “soon” has officially arrived. Be direct. Be calm. Be unrelenting. It’s always better to know.
I was very close to my friend Karen all through childhood, but at this point we’re down to lunch maybe once or twice a year. The problem is, she’s asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. Lisa, I haven’t got the time to take a shower, let alone organize one. I like Karen, and I don’t mind helping out in an unofficial capacity, but frankly I just don’t have what it takes to wear teal taffeta with shoes dyed to match. Am I stuck?
My son and daughter-in-law are about to have their first baby. Of course, I’d love to be in the delivery room with them, but whenever I bring it up, they change the subject. I don’t want to just sit there— I want to do something!
— R ITA , N O RT H DA KOTA
—D O R EE N , S EAT TL E
I’d be hard-pressed to explain marginal tax rates, I don’t understand how five Supreme Court justices saw fit to rule in favor of Citizens United, and I’ve yet to make heads or tails of my daughter’s math homework. But there is one thing, one simple, indisputable fact of which I am beyond certain: Nobody—and I mean nobody—has what it takes to wear teal taffeta with shoes dyed to match. As for being stuck, if Jessica Chastain could get Matt Damon off Mars, surely I can get you out of this. First, though, I would urge you to remember that it’s impossible to make new old friends. Be sure Karen understands that though you may be acting in an unofficial capacity, you’ll be totally zealous in keeping her aunt Iris away from the Prosecco, starting the conga line, and discreetly signaling if she’s got lipstick on her teeth or wedding cake in her hair. Let her know that you want to take her to lunch as soon as she’s finished honeymooning, but explain that she deserves someone who can give 100 percent, and that someone just isn’t you.
Don’t just do something—sit there! And by “there,” I mean on your sofa. Repeat after me: “I will help in whatever way they need, which includes giving this new family all the time, space, and privacy they deem necessary.” And as long as I’m telling you things you don’t want to hear: One day your children are going to ask you to mash a banana for the baby. When they show you exactly how they like it done for little Nosferatu, I want you to use every ounce of your strength to refrain from mentioning that this ain’t your first rodeo. Do not insist on demonstrating your far-superior banana-mashing technique. Do not send emails about crib recalls and diaper rash. And for the love of God, do not comment on their name choice. You are dealing with sleep-deprived newbies, and at least one of them probably has sore nipples. Do not wear out your welcome.
LISA KOGAN is O’s writer at large and the author of Someone Will Be with You Shortly: Notes from a Perfectly Imperfect Life. To ask Lisa a question, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
O CTOBER 2016
May We Help You?
Could You Use an Extra $500 a Month? Finding a side gig is both smart and easier than you think.
IN MY 20 S , while working a 9-to-5 job, I moonlighted as a babysitter and a freelance writer. The few hundred bucks I brought in each month from changing diapers and staying up till 2 A.M. doing articles helped me crawl out of debt and build a nice savings cushion in just a few years. Today, finding ways to make more is a necessity for many of us: Hourly wages have been at a near standstill since the 1970s, while the cost of key expenses like housing and healthcare has increased dramatically. Thankfully, it’s never been easier to boost your bottom line, with so many websites and apps linking us to paying opportunities. These are just four ways that intrepid earners have found to generate a steady stream of extra cash each month. You might be inspired to do the same.
To save for a place of her own and pay off roughly $38,000 in student loans and credit card debt, Heidi Hall, 29, bought a vacuum. The Bethesda, Maryland, data analyst began cleaning houses earlier this year through TaskRabbit, a virtual marketplace that connects freelancers with locals who need help with tasks like cleaning, moving, and minor repairs. Hall earns an average of $22 per hour on TaskRabbit, netting between $600 and $700 a month, working evenings and some weekends. “I’m a people person, but my day job involves sitting in front of a computer. TaskRabbit hardly seems like work because I get to meet and network with people I normally wouldn’t encounter.”
More than one-third of the U.S. workforce engaged in contract, supplemental, temporary, or project-based work in 2013.
TAKE MY CAR, PLEASE Own a vehicle but don’t feel like driving? Rent out your ride by the day on Turo.com. The site even provides $1 million in liability insurance.
Bank On Your Vehicle
The average American driver makes two car trips per day; total cruising time: about 46 minutes.
FARNOOSH TORABI, personal finance expert and author of When She Makes More, hosts CNBC’s Follow the Leader and the podcast So Money.
O CTOBER 2016
A car may be a depreciating asset, but it can also be a moneymaker. On weekdays GaNeane Lewis, 45, is a surgical technologist in Sacramento, but on weekends she’s a Lyft driver, making about $200 per week ferrying passengers in her 2011 Ford Fiesta (Lyft takes a 20 percent commission on each of her rides; new drivers are charged a commission of 25 percent, or 36.4 percent in New York City). The mom of four started working part-time as a driver two summers ago to stop living paycheck to paycheck. “I can do it whenever I want,” she says. “If I need a lunch break, I just turn off the app, grab food, and turn it back on when I’m ready.” The cash gives Lewis some budgetary breathing room. “I can drive five hours and have more money in my wallet that week,” she says.
ILLUSTRATIONS: NAOMI WILKINSON. TORABI: PETER ROSA/STUDIO D. STYLIST: ERIN TURON. HAIR AND MAKEUP: BIRGITTE FOR LAURA MERCIER AT SALLY HARLOR. SOURCES: “SIDE HUSTLE”: FREELANCING IN AMERICA, FREELANCERS UNION AND UPWORK, 2015. “WHEEL LIFE”: AMERICAN DRIVING SURVEY, AAA FOUNDATION FOR TRAFFIC SAFETY, APRIL 2015.
“NYDJ” and its icon logo are registered trademarks of NYDJ Apparel, LLC. All rights reserved. Copyright 2016.
NYDJ.COM Nordstrom D i l l a r d ’s
FIT TO BE
A FIT FOR ALL
Trademarks owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A., Vevey, Switzerland
May We Help You?
LEARNING EXPERIENCE Etsy’s online Seller Handbook offers tips on everything from photographing your items to filing your taxes.
GET CRAFTY Since Etsy’s launch in 2005, the online marketplace has grown to include more than 1.6 million sellers of handmade and vintage goods and crafts supplies. Connie Weller, a full-time corporate trainer from Timonium, Maryland, earned about $400 in her first month of selling inspirational T-shirts on the site. Before opening her Etsy shop in May, the 43-year-old learned how to screenprint by watching YouTube videos. Weller invested about $200 in materials and now sells tees for $18 to $26 a pop, of which Etsy takes a 3.5 percent cut.
Seventy percent of Etsy sellers have a job outside their online business.
Subsidize in Style Student loans, credit card debt, and a high cost of living inspired 34-yearold Pheniece Jones, a public relations consultant in Seattle, to take on a side gig. She’s now a “stylist” with accessories company Stella & Dot. Jones paid $199 for marketing and training materials, as well as credits toward buying display products for in-person trunk shows. She also sells products online using a personalized site the company created. Products ship directly from the manufacturer, so she doesn’t need to keep inventory on hand. Jones takes home 25 to 35 percent of sales. The $500 in monthly commissions—combined with her full-time income—has helped her pay off her $3,000 credit card balance, knock 40 percent off her student loan bill, and visit Paris. Her new goal: “Travel more!” OPRAH.COM
EARN, BABY EARN “You can cut costs only so much, but you can always earn more. When you turn your skills into a side business, the cash you bring in will provide a richer life in so many ways,” says Ramit Sethi, founder of Earn1K.com.
O CTOBER 2016
May We Help You?
a Drama Mama? IT’S MIDNIGHT. You’re alone in the office, doing the reports again because no one offered to help. You went home briefly to make dinner for your husband, your kids, and the cousin who’s crashing with you until he can stop huffing paint and get a job. Now you’re ready to cry—or stab someone with a pen. You’re only trying to be a good employee, wife, mother, relative! My dear, you are also a martyr. Actually, though, you’re just playing the martyr. It’s a role you’ve fallen into. And you don’t have to stick with it; you simply need to change the script. Often martyrs create and rehearse their parts in a dysfunctional pattern of interaction called the Karpman drama triangle (an idea that came from psychiatrist Stephen—you guessed it—Karpman). The triangle involves three possible roles: victim, rescuer, and persecutor. In healthy relationships, people share their feelings and respond accordingly. If I stepped on your foot,
you could say, “You’re stepping on my foot.” I’d apologize and move my foot. This is not how it goes down in a Karpman triangle. Here’s an example: Sandy is the only child of an alcoholic mother, Dolores. One day Dolores staggers onto Sandy’s foot, heedlessly causing pain because that’s what persecutors do. Sandy says, “You’re stepping on my foot!” Now Dolores, racked with guilt, gin, and self-loathing, turns into the victim. “I didn’t mean to!” she sobs. “Can’t you see I’m trying?” Then Sandy comes to the rescue: “I’m sorry, Mommy! How can I make you feel better?” Suddenly, Dolores is off the hook, and Sandy’s convinced that if she can do enough to please her mother, she’ll be loved again. They keep this up for years. Over time, Sandy learns that it’s not safe to express her feelings, and that people value her only when she does things for them. By the time she reaches adulthood, she’s become O CTOBER 2016
a full-blown martyr, cleaning her mother-in-law’s basement, sewing Halloween costumes at 3 A.M. She’s sweet on the outside, but inside she’s a roiling mess, overwhelmed by work, stifled by her relationships, secretly mad at everyone. Sometimes her anger boils over, and she turns into a victim (“Nobody appreciates me!”) or a persecutor (“You could offer to help, you jerk!”). Then she feels guilty about those feelings and atones for them by doing something nice, and the cycle continues. Ultimately, clinical depression or stress-related illness may set in, and she’ll end up sacrificing her health or even her life. But there’s an alternative to this horror show: Stop acting and live authentically. Once you commit to trying, it’s surprisingly simple. I promise. Sit down when you have some uninterrupted time (say, while you’re donating your weekly gallon of blood). Relax. Breathe. Now begin writing, stream of consciousness,
A martyr is sweet on the outside, but inside she’s a roiling mess, overwhelmed by work, stifled by her relationships, secretly mad at everyone. ILLUSTRATION BY Beth Hoeckel
BECK: PETER ROSA/STUDIO D. HAIR: VASSILIS KOKKINIDIS AT NEXT ARTISTS USING SHU UEMURA ART OF HAIR. MAKEUP: BARBARA STONE. STYLIST: ERIN TURON.
If you’re chronically overextended, underappreciated, and very, very angry, there’s a simple solution: Stop playing the martyr.
TURN UP THE VOLUME
about a few episodes when you’ve felt that twinge of self-sacrificing resentment. Just pour it all out—and then read what you’ve written. Do you see any patterns? Are you constantly swooping in to the rescue, making do with less than you need, or feeling abandoned because no one’s noticed your suffering? Think about the rewards you’ve envisioned in your wildest martyred fantasies: appreciation, recognition, love. Have you ever gotten the payoff you’ve been longing for? Now check your body. How’s your stomach? Does your head ache? Move on to your emotions. Are you sad, furious, afraid, all of the above? You may have a lot of rage, so be as patient with yourself as you pretend to be with others. Once you know what you’re feeling, tell at least one safe person. For martyrs, the best option is usually a therapist, who won’t try to entangle you in another triangle.
If you choose a friend or a family member, proceed with caution: Does she respond as a whiny victim (“I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment!”), an angry persecutor (“What is this, an ambush?”), or an icky-sticky rescuer (“This is my fault! I failed you!”)? Your martyr complex may rear up, and you’ll feel the urge to do more for someone—or ask for less—than you want. Don’t punish yourself. It takes time to break a pattern this strong. When you finally find someone who doesn’t say “What about me?” but “Tell me more,” you may flounder in the unfamiliar space of truth. You’ll be tempted to filter the other person’s response through your dysfunctional lens. She doesn’t mean that. I’m a disappointment. At this point—get ready, martyrs—you can cut right through this misery by saying exactly what you’re thinking. As in, “I’m afraid you don’t mean that, and that I’m a disappointment.” Then, really listen to the answer. If it seems kind and honest, with no hidden agenda, you may feel disoriented. That’s because you’re finally stepping offstage. Keep going. Keep speaking up. What are you feeling? What do you want? And some night, when the clock strikes 12, you’ll find yourself in the dark again—snoozing in bed. You told your coworkers you were swamped; some grumbled, but some pitched in. You asked your husband to help with dinner, and he did. Your cousin, who didn’t appreciate your new authenticity, has stormed off to play the victim somewhere else. Oh well. That’s the price of taking off the martyr’s mask and showing up in the real world as your true self. Stay the course, and your life will keep improving. Dramatically.
Spin Air Brush
Style As You Dry Refresh Hair Between Shampoos
MARTHA BECK is the author of, most recently,
Diana, Herself: An Allegory of Awakening.
www.conair.com/infiniti ©2016 Conair Corporation
f o er the pow ADVERTISEMENT
Your purchase has power—the power to save lives. By choosing a brand that supports the Breast Cancer Research Foundation (BCRF), you are propelling lifesaving research forward, faster. BCRF, the highest-rated breast cancer organization in the U.S., is dedicated to ending breast cancer by advancing the world’s most promising research. Our partners have united to fund research because it’s the only way we’ll end this devastating disease. Join us and shop these incredible brands to #BetheEnd of breast cancer. UPLIFTING LIMITED EDITION POSITIVELY HAND RELIEF™ MOISTURIZING CREME Experience Aveda’s uplifting beautifying aroma with pure flower and plant essences in this limited-edition hand relief™ moisturizing creme. $4 of the purchase price supports cruelty-free research through BCRF.* Since 2001, Aveda contributions have added up to over $3.7 million. Find a location at AVEDA.COM. *Maximum donation of $323,000 to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation® to support research focusing on environmental and lifestyle factors that possibly affect risk of breast cancer. Donations from Aveda will not support research involving animals.
PINK RIBBON COLLECTION This exclusive 2016 collection was created to honor Evelyn Lauder’s dream of eradicating breast cancer in our lifetime. Estée Lauder supports this wish by donating 100% of the suggested retail price of the Pink Perfection Color Collection and 20% of the suggested retail price of Advanced Night Repair with Pink Ribbon Pin to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation®. A touch of blue is included in the pin design for men, whose lifetime risk of getting breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000. Pink Perfection Color Collection, $35, and Advanced Night Repair with Pink Ribbon Pin, $92.
GREAT SKIN, GREAT CAUSE Limited-Edition Jumbo Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion+ with Breast Cancer Awareness Keychain, 6.7 fl. oz., $38. $10 of purchase price donated to BCRF. CLINIQUE.COM
ORIGINS DRINK UP™ INTENSIVE OVERNIGHT MASK Replenish skin with this ultra-rich, hydrating overnight mask. Skin awakens refreshed, replenished, and ready to face the day. $26, available at Origins retail stores and select department stores in the U.S., Canada, Puerto Rico, and at ORIGINS.COM from while supplies last. $5 of the purchase price, with a maximum donation of $40,000, is donated to BCRF.
LUXE BY CARMEN MARC VALVO FLORAL BELTED DRESS We’re spreading awareness, one pink dress at a time. Look good (and feel good) wearing this dress! Dressbarn is donating 25% of the purchase price of this Luxe by Carmen Marc Valvo breast cancer awareness dress, up to a maximum of $30,000, to BCRF. Dress starting at $56. DRESSBARN.COM
PENTEL EnerGel Alloy from Pentel is a quick-drying, non-smear gel pen in a luxurious metal barrel. Since 2009, Pentel has donated nearly $100,000 to BCRF. 5¢ of the purchase price is donated to BCRF. PENTEL.COM STORE PINK
ULTA BEAUTY BCRF
ALEX AND ANI The Spiral Sun
Expandable Wire Bangle is designed to remind us to feel the sun’s warmth, nourishing as it shines upon us, and to receive its vital force, $38. 20% of the purchase price is donated to BCRF. ALEXANDANI.COM
TYR Dive in with TYR as we continue to fight the battle against breast cancer. Every time you buy a TYR Pink product—including the TYR Pink Special Ops 2.0 Femme Polarized Goggle, $29.99—$1-$5 of the purchase price is donated to BCRF.
COLLECTION It’s time to get your pink on with the Ulta Beauty BCRF Collection! Show your support for breast cancer research with these pink accessories, just $5 each. 50% of the purchase price is donated to BCRF. ULTA.COM BCRF GORGEOUS WAY TO GIVE
CUISINART Now you can make your favorite frozen yogurt at home in 20 minutes or less! The fully automatic Cuisinart® Frozen Yogurt – Ice Cream & Sorbet Maker lets you turn ingredients into a delicious and healthy frozen treat with no fuss and no mess. Simply add your ingredients to the bowl, press ON, and the machine does the rest! Cuisinart donates $32,500 annually to BCRF, regardless of sales.
SABIKA Our exclusive, handcrafted 2016 Sabika Pink Party Sabika Fun Grace
® Studs shine hope on breast cancer. Featuring the Sabika Cut® created by Swarovski in Light Rose, these limited-edition earrings, $79, are perfect for any outfit. $25 from your purchase will be donated to BCRF. Host a BCRF Sabika Pink Party and we’ll match up to 5% of the total party sales!
SABIKA JEWELRY.COM BCRF.ASP S
LOFT LIMITED EDITION
ONAIR FASHION CURL CRevolutionary new way to create beautiful, shiny curls. Three-quarter-inch tourmaline ceramic curl chamber, automatic timer, 30-second instant heat, up to 400o F highest heat for long-lasting curls and waves. Two temp settings (low & high), even heat-up and recovery, ready light, 6-ft. professional swivel cord. This easy-to-use styler is great for all hair types, making curling hair at home easier than ever. Starting September 2016 at select retailers in mass, drug, and specialty stores, plus year-round on CONAIR.COM PROMOS BCRF . $69.99 (CD213B). Conair donates $110,000 annually to BCRF, regardless of sales.
OACH WATCHES Luxury meets Cfashion in the Coach Slim Easton
JEWELRY COLLECTION In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, LOFT created a limited-edition jewelry collection to help women living with breast cancer. (Layered Gemstone Necklace, $39.50, Gemstone Earrings, $34.50, Pearl Pendant Necklace, $39.50, Pearl Drop Earrings, $24.50. 60% of the purchase price will be donated to BCRF September 16 –November 15.
watch, a feminine timepiece with an elegant edge. Genuine Coach leather surrounds a 35mm ultra-thin rosegold-tone case, while sparkling pink Swarovski crystals add a subtle pop of color and shine to the dial, making this timepiece the perfect statement for women this fall. 10% of the purchase price is donated to BCRF. MACYS.COM
POLLO TOOLS Tackle Ayour projects with this 72-Piece Household Tool Kit. All the tools needed for most repairs around the house are contained in the stylish designer carrying case. Since 2006, Apollo Tools has donated over $680,000 to BCRF. $0.75 of the purchase price is donated to BCRF. APOLLOTOOLS.COM
Blipp this page to view more information on the power of pink! Need the Blippar app? Download it for free. Available for Apple, Android, and Windows.
The old way just got even older. We didn’t just update the traditional eye exam. :H UHYROXWLRQL]HG LW 2XU QHZ CLARIFYE SM eye exam system uses digital precision to pinpoint your customized prescription. It’s time WR VHH ZKDW \RX·UH PLVVLQJ *Available in select cities.
IN WITH THE NEW Eye exam technology has been the same for decades—but not anymore. Meet CLARIFYE,SM the digital eye exam that shows you more. NO OTHER EYE EXAM IS MORE PRECISE In seconds, CLARIFYE captures a precise digital fingerprint of your eyes, providing your doctor with five times more information about how your visual system is working. CLARIFYE even maps the exact curvature of your cornea, which helps doctors recommend different lens benefits best suited for your eyes and your lifestyle. A COMPLETE PICTURE OF YOUR EYE HEALTH CLARIFYE incorporates advanced technology to help your doctor track and detect the smallest changes in your eyes over time. You’ll come out of your CLARIFYE exam with a new understanding of your eyes, insight into your overall health, and confidence that you’re seeing your very best. NOW AVAILABLE AT SELECT LENSCRAFTERS So don’t put off your next eye exam—come in and experience the comprehensive benefits of CLARIFYE. To schedule your eye exam today, visit LensCrafters.com.
The old way just got even older. We didn’t just update the traditional eye exam. :H UHYROXWLRQL]HG LW 2XU QHZ CLARIFYE SM eye exam system uses digital precision to pinpoint your customized prescription. It’s time WR VHH ZKDW \RX·UH PLVVLQJ *Available in select cities.
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TION ANIMAL EDI
A few things we think are just great for pets and their people! PHOTOGRAPHS BY Gregor Halenda
There He Glows See Spot run. And see Spot come home safe— thanks to this waterresistant LED collar that has flashing and static modes and is visible up to a half mile away. (Green Gremlin Poochlight light-up flashing collar, $30 to $40; squeakerdogs.com)
GUTTER CREDIT TK
Tune in to ABC’s The View to see O creative director Adam Glassman reveal special savings from The O List on “View Your Deal.”
O CTOBER 2016
What a Stud Slip one of these edgy leather collars on your fashionforward pup, and she’ll be the coolest canine on the block. (Nice Digs spiked dog collars, originally from $32 each, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; shopdogandco.com)
Snack Attack While your fluffy friend is scarfing down treats, why not indulge yourself, too? These all-natural gourmet animal crackers in vanilla, chai, and lemon are high in protein and sweetened with honey. (Spirit animal crackers, originally $4 per bag with a 12-bag minimum, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; good-zebra.com)
So Fetching! Check out these puppies: Upload a picture of your furrily beloved (or choose a predesigned one), and Del Toro shoes will make you a bespoke pair of embroidered velvet, leather, or suede kicks. (Custom slippers, originally $525 per pair, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH, and premade styles available for preorder, $375 to $395 per pair; deltoroshoes.com)
Hair of the Dog Not only does this bagless vacuum suck up embedded fur, capture allergens, and eliminate odors, it also gives back. With every purchase, a donation is made to the Bissell Pet Foundation, which supports animal welfare organizations. (Bissell Pet Hair Eraser upright vacuum, $300; kohls.com)
Off the Hook We know what you’re thinking: C’mon, not more adorable puppy butts that serve as coat hooks! But the rainbow of colors and amazing price got our tails wagging. (Bästis hooks, $3 each; ikea.com for stores)
Waiting to Inhale
Comfort Zone Animal House Attention, Meowtropolitan Home: This wicker cat house, complete with a machine-washable bed, is cool enough to live in your living room. (Natural sphere cat tower, originally $235, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; sauder.com) O CTOBER 2016
Talk about a lucky dog. These pads work with body heat (the cooling one absorbs and dissipates it; the self-warming option radiates it back) to regulate body temperature for optimum napping. (TheraCool Gel Cell cooling pad, originally $100, and TheraWarm self-warming pad, originally $50, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; pettherapeutics.net)
PROP STYLIST: MEGUMI EMOTO
You and Mr. Whiskers can finally have a Benadryl-free night thanks to this Wi-Fienabled air purifier (you can control it remotely through an app) that removes more than 99 percent of indoor air pollutants. (Blueair Sense+, originally $499, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; blueair.com/oprah)
“Made you look. And yes, I’m wearing them.”
The core absorbs bladder leaks and odors in seconds. Hugs my curves for a discreet fit under clothes.
Always Discreet for bladder leaks.
The Chew Plaid is the new squeaky toy! You don’t have to be a Scottish terrier to appreciate these wooland-fleece critters handcrafted in Brooklyn. (Billy Wolf squirrel and cottontail squeaky toys, originally $18 and $16 each, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; scotchandhound.com)
Easy Rider Reduce whimpering on the way to the vet with this combination bed, carrier, and crash-tested car seat that buckles in safe and snug. (Mobile pet bed, originally $190, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; sleepypod.com)
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie An open letter from your pooch: “Mom, the floor is so hard. If I can’t snooze with you, how about a supercute, durable waterproof cotton twill bed? I promise to be a good boy. Love, Buddy.” (Mattress beds, $200 to $350 each, free shipping with code OPRAH; mrdognewyork.com)
Who Let the Dog Out? Attach this GPS tracker to your pet’s collar, download the coordinating app, and purchase a service plan. In addition to tracking his activity, you can create custom zones and get phone alerts if he leaves a designated area. (GPS pet tracker, originally $80, now $30 off with code OPRAH; whistle.com)
Walk This Way Watch your dog strut down the street on a graphic-print leash so trendy, one of our editors wants to wear it as a belt. (Striped webbing leashes with leather handle, $52 to $62 each; wareofthedog.com)
Canine Design You’ll go mutts for these decorative ceramic plates featuring eight breeds in all—great for corralling keys, rings, or spare change. (Kennel club dog plates, $22 each; kirbyandcompany.com)
Table for One Is your fur baby forever chasing a bowl of food as it slides away? Try this wire stand equipped with nonskid rubber bumpers and stainless steel bowls. Because nobody likes to eat and run. (Wire & Dine stand, originally $77 to $133, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; docapet.com)
O CTOBER 2016
© Big Heart Pet Brands.
As a pet parent, I believe it’s important to have food I can trust without a doubt.
— STEVE LUNETTA, Natural Balance® lab scientist and proud pet parent of yellow lab Riley.
That’s why Steve and his team test every single batch of Natural Balance® before it gets to your dog’s bowl. Find us in your local pet store or visit NaturalBalanceInc.com
Simplicity shines in this enchanting pendant light.
With temperatures cooling and more time being spent indoors, fall is the perfect time to think about redecorating. And Ashley HomeStore’s lifestyleinspired collections offer furniture and accessories that appeal to every taste.
Less Is More
Elegant & Inviting
The clean lines of Contemporary Living™ are perfected in the mid-century inspired Crislyn Sofa and Crislyn Accent Chair. Their crisp profile and richly textured upholstery take subtlety to new heights.
Like heirloom looks? You’ll love the Marsilona Dining Table in Vintage Casual®. The plank tabletop contrasts with classic legs in a perfect marriage of style and substance, and distressed accents fill your room with farmhouse charm.
Find the perfect balance of luxury and comfort in New Traditions™. Here, the Larrenton Queen Panel Bed with woven upholstery and inward-turned feet embodies a dreamy, relaxed sensibility.
Eleri and Ibrahim Pillows enhance bedding with frills and faux fur.
Pitted metal in the Darva Table Lamp exudes cool character. Create a rustic display with vintage-inspired Glass Accent Bottle and Seed Jars.
Enhance neutral seating with the Brennen, Stonington or Stockwell Pillows.
The urban industrial design of the Dondie Bench is a mastery in minimalism.
Add texture to your table with Embroidered Linen Napkins and hammered Silvertone Napkin Rings.
Handcrafted Mango Wood Bowl with twisted iron handles makes the perfect centerpiece.
The swing-arm design of the Arwel Table Lamp is perfect for bedtime reading.
Classic design and modern convenience merge in the Larrenton Nightstand.
S E E M O R E L I F E S T Y L E S , I N C L U D I N G F U R N I T U R E A N D A C C E S S O R I E S , I N O U R O N L I N E C ATA L O G AT A S H L E Y H O M E S T O R E . C O M . Selection varies by Ashley HomeStore location.
Find everything for your fall home in easy-to-shop Ashley
Urbanology® / Vintage Casual® / Contemporary Living™ / New Traditions™ / Grand Elegance™ / Family Spaces® / Gen Now™ / Heritage Road™
More inspiration at AshleyHomeStore.com
Love That! ALL BLUE EVERYTHING
FASHION STYLIST: JARROD LACKS. HAIR: MIOK USING ORIBE HAIR CARE AT JUDY CASEY INC. MAKEUP: HECTOR SIMANCAS USING DIORSKIN STAR AT FACTORY DOWNTOWN. PROP STYLIST: STOCKTON HALL.
Wrapper’s Delight Equal parts cozy and chic, these oversize Wilfred for Aritzia scarves are affordable finds that feel like high-end indulgences, thanks to the cool color combos, diamond mosaic patterns, and incredibly soft, top-quality Australian wool. Plus, they’re fall’s most versatile accessory: Loop one around your neck or drape it over your shoulders like a shawl— you’ll make a statement any way you wear it. Wilfred for Aritzia 51-by-63-inch scarves, $85 each; aritzia.com
PHOTOGRAPH BY Sergio Kurhajec OPRAH.COM
O CTOBER 2016
Love That! With a vertical print that’s slimming on all, this will be your new desk-to-dinner staple. Bisou Bisou; jcpenney.com
Go for the gold in a statement necklace that complements rich fabrics. ABS by Allen Schwartz; macys.com
GREAT BUYS UNDER $100
AVANT GARDEN Feminine patterns influenced by chinoiserie give florals a red-hot edge.
Embroidered Asianinspired flowers are ultrasophisticated when they’re blossoming on an LBD. asos.com
A moody cuff toughens up a sweet outfit. Simply Vera Vera Wang; kohls.com
Pair this bomber with a striped tee for a look that’s effortlessly cool. Jacket, boohoo.com. Tee, Who What Wear; target.com
A tasseled crimson clutch is fun yet refined. deuxlux.com
ADELE LOOKS PRETTY IN PETALS.
Don’t fear printed pants! With subtle florals grounded in black and a pj’s-style fit, this pair is flattering to boot. Oasis; oasis-stores.com
Let this botanical blouse steal the show, or layer it under a cozy sweater. Who What Wear; target.com
These budding beauties are delicate but still sparkle plenty. Sequin; sequin-nyc.com
A cinnabar sling-back is a sexy accent for fall florals. Aldo; aldoshoes.com O CTOBER 2016
RICHARD MAJCHRZAK/STUDIO D. STYLIST: ANITA SALERNO/R.J. BENNETT REPRESENTS. ADELE: CHRISTOPHER POLK/GETTY IMAGES FOR NARAS.
Love That! EARRINGS, $995; johnhardy.com COAT, $675; milly.com SWEATER, $202; 525america.com
SWEATER, Trademark, $398; trade-mark.com
DRESS, $138; bananarepublic.com PANTS, $80; T.J. Maxx stores
I’m feeling blue—in the very best way. This fall is all about universally flattering, sea-meets-sky shades. Follow O creative director Adam Glassman on Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat @TheRealAdamSays.
CÉLINE FALL 2016 RUNWAY
BAG, Rebecca Minkoff, $325; neimanmarcus.com
DRESS, $97; asos.com
WATCH, Victorinox Swiss Army, $495; victorinox watches.com
SANDAL, Sandro, $325; us.sandro-paris.com
Game of Tones It’s a “bluetral” season! Blue is the new neutral: Equal parts serene and vibrant, it pairs well with unexpected colors. Try it with one of these BLOUSE, Rafaella, $65; autumnal hues for lordandtaylor.com BAG, Coach 1941, $595; coach.com a fresh look.
SWEATER, $385; vince.com SNEAKER, $33; asos.com
O CTOBER 2016
SKIRT, $109; anntaylor.com BAG, $95; deuxlux.com
BLOUSE, Elizabeth and James, $295; net-a-porter.com BOOTIE, $70; express.com
DEVON JARVIS/STUDIO D. STYLIST: ANITA SALERNO/R.J. BENNETT REPRESENTS. RUNWAY: PETER WHITE/GETTY IMAGES. GLASSMAN: SERGIO KURHAJEC.
Adam’s STYLE SHEET
PA N T S T H AT F I T ANYWHERE - ANY TIME - ANY AGE
Lisette L Montreal’s Perfectly Fitting Pants make you Feel Great on the Inside and Out www.lisette-l.com/oprah
TOP STYLE #171308 EMMA JERSEY KNIT PANT STYLE #19209 CASABLANCA JACQUARD
©2016 Lisette Limoges Agencies inc. All rights reserved.
HAVE YOU EVER BREWED ICED TEA AT HOME? IT’S LIKE THAT. The best things in life are real. Which is why we only make iced tea one way. The way you do. With real leaf-brewed tea, from premium tea leaves. Deliciously chilled. We love iced tea the way you love iced tea. Pure and simple.
FOR THE LOVE OF LEAVES © 2016 Pure Leaf is a registered trademark of the Unilever Group of Companies used under license.
RURAL SETTING Teak with aqua dots flatware, $50 for five-piece set; shopbehome.com WIRE TRANSFER Locker baskets, $21 each; magnoliamarket.com
JUST HANGIN’ Duncan pewter 14-inch-wide contemporary red pendant light, $199; lampsplus.com
SILVER LINING Spin cabinet for shower, $280; simplehuman.com
INTO THE WOODS Repurposed Wood wallpaper in multicolor, $98 per double roll; tempaperdesigns.com
STYLE SHEET MODERN FARMHOUSE
SWEET SEAT Habitus barstool, $235; industrywest.com
If you’re just a little bit country, try a mix of sleek and rustic home decor.
DEVON JARVIS/STUDIO D. STYLIST: ALMA MELENDEZ/ HALLEY RESOURCES. GLASSMAN: SERGIO KURHAJEC.
SHOW YOUR STRIPES Ticking stripe pillowcase, $48 for pair; serenaandlily.com
EASY BREEZY Vornado small vintage air-circulator fan, $60; bedbathandbeyond.com
GO GLAMPING Mini industrial cage lamp, $99; westelm.com
THREE’S COMPANY Enamel roaster and jelly roll pans, $23 to $30 each; fishseddy.com
LET’S ROLL Franklin coffee table, $299; target.com
HAVE SOME PULL Sylvia metal accent table, $250; worldmarket.com OPRAH.COM
O CTOBER 2016
YOUR KISS HAS BEEN CRAVING! NEW! Mary Kay ® Gel Semi-Matte Lipstick
Cushiony, feel-good formula. Intense, stay-true shades.
To find your perfect shade, contact your Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant or connect with one at marykay.com.
/ © 2016 Mary Kay Inc.
O, Beautiful! FALL
’S BEST BEAUTY BUYS
FAIR COMPLEXION, FINE HAIR LUNA CASTILHO’ s
mother is Spanish and Portuguese; her dad is Spanish, German, and Brazilian. “I love that I got my mom’s complexion and smile and my dad’s light eyes,” she says.
It’s our annual quest for fall’s beauty best—the shiniest lip glosses, richest conditioners, and most luxurious body creams. And to make your shopping even easier, we found choices for every skin tone, complexion type, and hair texture (as exemplified by the four gloriously distinctive women on these pages). Read on to find the winners chosen just for you! BY Melissa Goldberg PHOTOGRAPHS BY Peter Rosa
O CTOBER 2016
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS
MEDIUM COMPLEXION, THICK HAIR PAULA NISSEN’ s mom is from a tribe in Laos known for their deep golden complexions, dark hair, and dark brown eyes. Her dad is fair with brown hair, a marker of his Danish heritage. “I inherited my mouth, nose, and almond-shaped eyes from my mom and my dad’s small ears,” she says. “My favorite comment about my looks? ‘You’re Danish? But that’s a pastry!’”
HAIR: EUGENE SMITH AT SERGE NORMANT USING JOHN FRIEDA FOR ESMITHHAIR.COM. MAKEUP: ALEXX WATTS FOR WWW.ALEXXWATTS.CO.UK. MANICURES: ANA-MARIA FOR LANCÔME. DIGITAL ENGRAVING: LEONELLO CALVETTI.
Get ready to meet your matches. We’ve assembled a makeup wardrobe—flattering foundations, shimmery eyeshadows, and lush lipcolors—for skin tones from palest porcelain to ebony.
No7 Powder Blush in Peony Mist Don’t be intimidated by this vivid pink: The velvety formula turns sheer on porcelain skin, leaving a subtle flush.
Urban Decay Razor Sharp Longwear Liquid Eyeliner in Snakebite Black liner may look harsh against very fair skin; instead try this soft brown, with a hint of eye-brightening shimmer.
Bobbi Brown Retouching Wand in Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Cushion Porcelain This ivory shade camouflages Foundation in Ivoire (C) This silky imperfections without chalkiness, fluid evens discoloration and redness, and the fuzzy sponge applicator easily which are more noticeable on pale buffs the concealer into your skin. skin. Bonus: The formula has SPF 50.
Fair to Medium It Cosmetics Bye Bye Under Eye Chanel Ultrawear Flawless Compact Illumination Concealer in Tan Hide Foundation in Beige Sponge on this cream-colored powder to get a natural- dark circles and blemishes with this highly pigmented concealer; lightlooking veil of coverage. The lightweight reflecting particles counteract dullness. formula imparts a satin finish.
Marc Jacobs Beauty Air Blush Soft Marc Jacobs Beauty Fineliner UltraGlow Duo in Kink & Kisses Shimmer Skinny Gel Eye Crayon in (Cinder)ella A subtle alternative to ebony, this can make fair skin look washed-out, but this blend of sparkly pale pink and richly pigmented gray gel pencil glides opaque rose creates a delicate glow. on without tugging and doesn’t budge.
Medium Clinique Superbalanced Silk Makeup in Silk Honeymilk With silica (to mattify) and sodium hyaluronate (to moisturize), this liquid foundation creates a perfectly smooth canvas.
Giorgio Armani Compact Cream Concealer in 3 This compact packs a one-two punch: The brush precisely places concealer; the formula’s emollient base melts into skin.
CoverGirl Clean Matte BB Cream in Medium/Deep This caramel base contains powders to reduce shine, which can be more visible on darker skin.
Dior Fix It 2-in-1 Prime & Conceal in Dark Honey Love a multitasker? This hybrid has a balmlike primer at the core to prevent the creamy concealer from settling into fine lines.
Pixi MultiBalm in Wild Rose Subtle hues or sheer textures may disappear on medium skin tones, but this creamy berry blush leaves a pretty pop of color.
Elizabeth Arden Beautiful Color Bold Defining 24HR Liquid Eye Liner in Mystic Green This long-lasting formula stays put for up to 24 hours and contrasts stunningly with olive skin.
STUDIO D (12). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (10).
Medium to Dark Chanel Joues Contraste Powder Givenchy Vinyl Liner in 02 Heroic Blue Toffee skin tones can gorgeously Blush in Rouge Profond Warm up your pull off vivid colors, so try this shiny complexion with this terracotta cobalt liquid liner. The extrashade—more flattering for dark skin thin brush makes application easy. than cool tones, which can look flat.
Dark Guerlain Multi-Perfecting Make Up For Ever Water Blend Concealer in Very Deep Cool Face & Body Foundation in R540 Water accounts for 80 percent of the No matter how heavy your application, the rich brown tone of this formula in this super-sheer espresso buildable concealer never looks ashy. base, so it blends beautifully. OPRAH.COM
NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick in Rose Petal Pop Dramatic hues complement deep skin tones, so go for bold with this vibrant strawberry shade.
O CTOBER 2016
Sephora Collection Contour Brushed Metal Gel Eyeliner in Moscow Mule This sparkling copper pencil dazzles against a mocha complexion.
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
Sephora Collection Colorful 5 Eye Contouring Palette in Light With matte and shimmery finishes, this neutral palette is ideal for a wash of color, a dramatic evening eye, and everything in between.
BareMinerals Gen Nude Matte Liquid Lipcolor in Weekend For the most sophisticated nude, enhance your natural lipcolor with this slightly deeper, delicate peach, which dries down to a matte.
Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Mauve-olous Pale pinks can wash out alabaster skin, so choose a hue that’s slightly darker, like this dusty rose.
L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Pocket Palette Eye Shadow in Silver Couture Hit platinum with this quad of three metallic shadows and a gray liner. A numbered diagram shows where each color goes.
Mary Kay Gel Lipstick Semi-Matte in Always Apricot Thinking pink? This peony shade is a sophisticated twist in a creamy semi-matte formula.
Jin Soon Nail Polish in Dandy Swap your standby pinks and reds for this versatile bluish purple, which creates a flattering contrast on lighter skin.
Wet n Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow Trio in Velour Vixen With sparkly eggplant for the lid, burgundy for the crease, and beige for the browbone, a romantic smoky eye is easy as 1-2-3.
Nars Velvet Lip Glide in No. 54 This raspberry hybrid looks and feels like a gloss, but has the pigment-packed punch of a lipstick.
Essie Nail Polish in Berried Treasures Summer’s over, but you don’t have to say goodbye to your flashy, bold shades. This juicy pink is gorgeous year-round, especially against olive skin.
Clé de Peau Beauté Eye Color Quad in 316 Go for the glow with these silky brown and gold shadows, which add depth and warmth to darker skin.
Shiseido Rouge Rouge in Rouge Rum Punch Ravishing against a caramel complexion, this deep berry lipstick is sure to become your jam this fall.
OPI Nail Lacquer in Kerry Blossom A vivid hue isn’t the only way to create drama. This rich plum proves that dark berries are equally eye-catching against deep skin tones.
Maybelline New York Color Tattoo Eye Chrome in Electric Emerald Want to strike it rich? One swipe of this emerald cream gives lids crease-free, jewel-tone color.
YSL Vinyl Cream Lip Stain in 411 Rhythm Red The chicest way to dress up your lips: this fresh formula in a vibrant color that’s stunning on dark skin.
Revlon ColorStay Gel Envy in Lovestruck Give this periwinkle polish a hand: It looks even brighter (and more beautiful) against ebony skin.
Fair to Medium
O CTOBER 2016
STUDIO D (15). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (2).
Medium to Dark
Olay Total Effects fights 7 signs of aging. Revives skin with VitaNiacin to look up to 10 years younger in 4 weeks. So your skin won’t show your age.
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
MEDIUM COMPLEXION, CURLY HAIR SABINA KARLSSON’ s mom, from Gambia, has very dark, flawless skin and dark, coarse hair. Her dad is Swedish; he’s fair, with strawberry blond hair, freckles, and blue eyes. “I love my full lips, which I got from my mom, and the red hair and freckles from my dad,” she says.
STUDIO D (6). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (4).
To guarantee good hair days, you need an arsenal of brilliant basics—so we’ve singled out the most hardworking shampoos, hydrating conditioners, nourishing treatments, and essential stylers for every hair type. SHAMPOO
Pureology Fullfyl Shampoo Plump stringy strands with this sulfate-free wash, which contains a protein that coats the hair, making it look fuller.
Tresemmé Beauty-Full Volume Pre-Wash Conditioner The latest body-building trick? Condition before you shampoo. Conditioning agents coat the cuticle, softening your hair without leaving it flat.
Herbal Essences Naked Smooth & Soft Shampoo This low-lather cleanser is the ultimate frizz fighter, and the silicone-free formula won’t weigh hair down.
Suave Professionals Coconut Oil Infusion Damage Repair Conditioner Dry, dehydrated hair soaks up the deep moisture from this coconut oil–based conditioner. Hello, bounce and shine!
Redken Curvaceous Low Foam Moisturizing Cleanser The key to keeping your curls in check? Deep hydration— which this sulfate-free, oil-infused shampoo delivers.
Ouai Curl Conditioner You’ll adore the gorgeous magnolia scent—and appreciate how the light formula smooths flyaways, adds shine, and defines curls.
Kérastase Nutritive Bain Magistral Formulated with masterful moisturizers (glycerin and ceramides), this lush cleanser transforms coarse, depleted curls into soft, springy ringlets.
Carol’s Daughter Almond Milk Restoring Conditioner Indulge overprocessed hair with this combo of softening almond milk, strengthening vegetable protein, and hydrating shea oil.
L’Oréal Paris EverPure Repair & Defend Shampoo Ceramides and conditioning polymers in this sulfate-free wash repair brittle strands; a UV filter shields hair from harmful rays and heat styling.
Goldwell Kerasilk Color Conditioner The best defense for your fresh-from-the-salon color: this powerful conditioner containing keratin (to repair) and tamanu oil (to keep your new shade vibrant).
+ Thick or Relaxed
O CTOBER 2016
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
ST YLING PRODUCT
Wella Professionals Elements Hair Strengthening Serum Get to the root of flimsy, flat hair with this sulfate- and paraben-free treatment, which reinforces each strand.
Living Proof Full Dry Volume Blast Elevate your style with this double-duty mist: One shot creates texture and boosts body for lasting volume.
John Frieda Frizz Ease 10 Day Tamer No matter your style—curly, wavy, straight—this preshower treatment subdues unruliness and forms a humidity-resistant barrier.
Dove Refresh + Care Detox & Purify Dry Shampoo Breathe new life into your blow-out with this weightless spray, which absorbs oil without leaving a chalky residue.
Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Curl Nourish If your curls get you in a tangle, try this hydrating leave-in mix of coconut, macadamia seed, and jojoba seed oils.
Pantene Pro-V Curl Defining Mousse You’ll say goodbye to crunchy curls with this light foam, which eliminates frizz and defines spirals.
Dark and Lovely Au Naturale Length Retention S.O.S. Nourishing Scalp Elixir A healthy scalp supports the hair follicles so they’ll produce thicker, stronger strands. Treat yours to this rich blend of peppermint, ceramides, and jojoba oil.
Ouidad Curl Immersion Hi-Defining Custard A combo of melon seed, coconut, and other oils in this gel smooths the cuticle; lightweight polymers give you soft hold.
Color Wow Coconut Cocktail Bionic Tonic Restore shine and silkiness with this leave-in serum, rich in fortifying fatty acids and hydrating coconut oil.
Temptu Airbrush 24-Hour Root Touch-Up & Hair Color Conceal regrowth with this genius touch-up. Pop your preferred color pod into the handheld airbrush device, and spray on the fine transfer- and water-resistant pigment.
+ Thick or Relaxed
O CTOBER 2016
STUDIO D (6). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (5).
COLOR SO RICH, SO ULTRA-CONDITIONING, IT LASTS UP TO 8 WEEKS. SHEA+ AVOCADO+ OLIVE
INDIAâ€™S COLOR IS HONEY BLONDE #378 CHOOSE YOURS @ DARKANDLOVELY.COM
NOW WITH TRIPLE FRUIT OILS!
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
MEDIUM TO DARK COMPLEXION, RELAXED HAIR DOMINIQUE ARMORER-MASON’ s
parents are both from Trinidad, but her mother is a combination of European, Madras Indian, and black. Her father’s family came from Italy, Spain, and Africa. “I love the thick, wavy hair I inherited from both parents. And my dad’s bold eyebrows!” she says. “People try to label me as either black or Latina. But in Trinidad, I’m called a callaloo, which means ‘delicious stew.’”
Decadent creams, supercharged serums, elegant cleansers—these complexion all-stars deliver glowing results.
Pond’s MoistureClean Towelettes in Original Fresh Made of a super-saturated textured cloth, these wipes remove all traces of makeup, dirt, and oil.
Clinique Pep-Start Moisturizer Algae extract and glycerin in this silky formula soothe and quench dry skin; its blur technology creates a smooth, soft-focus effect.
Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Intensive Recovery Ampoules When your skin needs damage control, treat it to some TLC with a restorative capsule.
Algenist Elevate Firming & Lifting Contouring Serum This serum’s beauty is its pearlescence, but its genius is the tightening Alguronic Acid and peptide mix.
Sephora Collection Instant Awakening Eye Moisturizer For an immediate eye opener, try this gel; antioxidants and light-reflecting pigments moisturize and brighten.
Peter Thomas Roth Acne Clearing Wash Formulated with salicylic acid, this alcohol-free cleanser unclogs blocked pores and prevents blemishes—without drying.
Perricone MD Pre:Empt Series Oil-Free Hydrating Cream This mix of plumping hyaluronic acid, calming green tea, and illuminating vitamin C leaves no greasy residue.
L’Oréal Paris RevitaLift Bright Reveal Dual Overnight Moisturizer A powerhouse of vitamin C, glycolic acid, and retinol luminizes lackluster skin and reduces lines.
Murad Retinol Youth Renewal Serum With both fast-acting and timed-release retinols, plus moisturizing hyaluronic acid, this hardworking serum means business.
Dermalogica Age Reversal Eye Complex This cream does it all: Retinol boosts collagen production, niacinamide reduces dark circles, and hyaluronic acid hydrates.
Lancôme Énergie de Vie Foam Cleanser For a deep clean, try this dynamic wash. Just add water; the gel transforms into a lush lather.
Philosophy Uplifting Miracle Worker Moisturizer Stay cool with the refreshing sensation of this cream; glycerin, squalane, and hyaluronic acid banish dryness.
No7 Early Defence Night Cream This fast-absorbing, lightweight moisturizer delivers a healthy dose of repairing peptides and free radical–fighting vitamin E.
Clarins Boosters Amp up your favorite cream, mask, serum, or foundation with these performance enhancers that calm inflammation, improve tone, and increase radiance.
Olay Eyes Pro-Retinol Eye Treatment Packed with retinyl palmitate (a gentler form of retinol), this cream softens the appearance of wrinkles.
Simple Hydrating Cleansing Oil Two to three drops of this moisturizing grapeseed oil–based face wash removes grime and stubborn makeup.
Garnier SkinActive Clearly Brighter Daily Moisturizer SPF 15 Get radiant with this multitasker: Lipo hydroxy acid gently exfoliates, while vitamins C and E even tone.
Neocutis MicroNight Riche Rejuvenating Balm Make the most of your beauty sleep with this blend of peptides and glycerin, which firms the skin and improves texture.
SK-II GenOptics Aura Essence Illuminate your complexion with this serum containing niacinamide, a yeast extract that encourages cell turnover, and mica.
Aveeno Absolutely Ageless Eye Cream For delicate skin, try this fragrance-free formula with firming blackberry and dill extracts and brightening mineral pigments.
STUDIO D (7). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (13).
O CTOBER 2016
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
Dullness, dryness, protection— whatever your concern, there’s a genius skin-saving solution.
Dove Purely Pampering Sweet Cream with Peony Beauty Bar The classic beauty bar gets an update with a subtle, sweet scent.
Olay Ultra Moisture Body Wash with Shea Butter When your skin feels rough, flaky, or irritated, make it velvety with this rich cleanser containing glycerin.
Tatcha Indigo Smoothing Black Sugar Body Gommage Both practical and sumptuous, this fine scrub gently exfoliates with black sugar, then moisturizes with camellia oil.
Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Yogurt Body Wash The freshest way to start your day? This lush, creamy cleanser, with soothing oatmeal and nourishing yogurt.
Nivea Cocoa Butter Body Cream A skin-soothing trifecta of glycerin, coconut oil, and vitamin E, this cream softens skin without leaving a greasy film.
Curél Hydra Therapy Wet Skin Moisturizer Formulated to sink into wet skin, this mix of hydrating ceramides and soothing panthenol has you covered before you step out of the shower.
Rodin Olio Lusso Lavender Absolute Luxury Body Oil The most opulent way to moisturize? Apply this lavender-scented, silky blend of 11 oils after you shower, while skin is still damp.
Jo Malone London Cologne Intense Body Crème When you want to slip into something alluring, layer on this deeply hydrating cream, which comes in four gorgeous scents.
Elizabeth Arden Prevage City Smart Broad Spectrum SPF 50 Hydrating Shield This tinted sunscreen is like an elegant, light foundation—but it also has ultraprotective SPF 50 and a blend of antioxidants to defend against harmful free radicals.
Clinique SPF 30 Mineral Sunscreen Lotion for Body This hardworking protector contains only physical sunscreens— titanium dioxide and zinc oxide—so it shields skin from damaging UV rays without irritation.
O CTOBER 2016
SWEEPSTAKES! Four lucky readers will win beauty booty from the Fall 2016 O-wards worth more than $2,500. Go to oprah.com/ fallbeautyowards to enter. Here’s to a gorgeous you! For official rules see Shop Guide.
STUDIO D (5). COURTESY OF COMPANIES (5).
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
WHERE�TO�BUY GUIDE Dark: NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick in Rose Petal Pop, $8; drugstores
Medium to Dark: Clé de Peau Beauté Eye Color Quad in 316, $80; cledepeaubeaute.com
Dark: Maybelline New York Color Tattoo Eye Chrome in Electric Emerald, $10; drugstores
Fair: Urban Decay Razor Sharp Longwear Liquid Eyeliner in Snakebite, $22; sephora.com Fair to Medium: Marc Jacobs Beauty Fineliner UltraSkinny Gel Eye Crayon in (Cinder)ella, $24; sephora.com Medium: Elizabeth Arden Beautiful Color Bold Defining 24HR Liquid Eye Liner in Mystic Green, $25; elizabetharden.com Medium to Dark: Givenchy Vinyl Liner in 02 Heroic Blue, $33; sephora.com Dark: Sephora Collection Contour Brushed Metal Gel Eyeliner in Moscow Mule, $14; sephora.com
Fair: Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Cushion Foundation in Ivoire (C), $47; lancome-usa.com
Fair: Bobbi Brown Retouching Wand in Porcelain, $40; bobbi browncosmetics.com
Fair to Medium: Chanel Ultrawear Flawless Compact Foundation in Beige, $60; chanel.com
Fair to Medium: It Cosmetics Bye Bye Under Eye Illumination Concealer in Tan, $24; itcosmetics.com
Medium: Clinique Superbalanced Silk Makeup in Silk Honeymilk, $25; clinique.com
Medium: Giorgio Armani Compact Cream Concealer in 3, $43; armanibeauty.com
Medium to Dark: CoverGirl Clean Matte BB Cream in Medium/Deep, $9; drugstores
Medium to Dark: Dior Fix It 2-in-1 Prime & Conceal in Dark Honey, $36; dior.com
Dark: Make Up For Ever Water Blend Face & Body Foundation in R540, $43; sephora.com
Dark: Guerlain Multi-Perfecting Concealer in Very Deep Cool, $40; saksfifthavenue.com
BLUSH Fair: No7 Powder Blush in Peony Mist, $10; target.com Fair to Medium: Marc Jacobs Beauty Air Blush Soft Glow Duo in Kink & Kisses, $42; sephora.com Medium: Pixi MultiBalm in Wild Rose, $12; target.com
LIPCOLOR Fair: BareMinerals Gen Nude Matte Liquid Lipcolor in Weekend, $18; bareminerals.com Fair to Medium: Mary Kay Gel Lipstick Semi-Matte in Always Apricot, $18; marykay.com Medium: Nars Velvet Lip Glide in No. 54, $26; narscosmetics.com Medium to Dark: Shiseido Rouge Rouge in Rouge Rum Punch, $28; shiseido.com Dark: YSL Vinyl Cream Lip Stain in 411 Rhythm Red, $36; yslbeautyus.com
Fair: Sephora Collection Colorful 5 Eye Contouring Palette in Light, $25; sephora.com
Fair: Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Mauve-olous, $10; drugstores
Fair to Medium: L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Pocket Palette Eye Shadow in Silver Couture, $10; drugstores Medium: Wet n Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow Trio in Velour Vixen, $3; drugstores
Medium: Essie Nail Polish in Berried Treasures, $9; essie.com Medium to Dark: OPI Nail Lacquer in Kerry Blossom, $10; ulta.com Dark: Revlon ColorStay Gel Envy in Lovestruck, $8; ulta.com
Medium to Dark: Chanel Joues Contraste Powder Blush in Rouge Profond, $45; chanel.com
O CTOBER 2016
Fair to Medium: Jin Soon Nail Polish in Dandy, $18; jinsoon.com
HAIR SHAMPOO Straight and Fine: Pureology Fullfyl Shampoo, $28; pureology.com for salons Straight and Thick or Relaxed: Herbal Essences Naked Smooth & Soft Shampoo, $5; drugstores Curly: Redken Curvaceous Low Foam Moisturizing Cleanser, $19; redken.com for salons Coarse: Kérastase Nutritive Bain Magistral, $41; kerastase-usa.com
Straight and Thick or Relaxed: Suave Professionals Coconut Oil Infusion Damage Repair Conditioner, $4; drugstores Curly: Ouai Curl Conditioner, $26; sephora.com Coarse: Carol’s Daughter Almond Milk Restoring Conditioner, $12; target.com Colored: Goldwell Kerasilk Color Conditioner, $30; goldwell.us for salons
Colored: L’Oréal Paris EverPure Repair & Defend Shampoo, $7; drugstores
Straight and Fine: Wella Professionals Elements Hair Strengthening Serum, $22; wella.com for salons
Straight and Thick or Relaxed: John Frieda Frizz Ease 10 Day Tamer, $13; drugstores
Straight and Fine: Tresemmé BeautyFull Volume PreWash Conditioner, $6.50; drugstores
Curly: Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Curl Nourish, $6; drugstores
experience the luxury of couture: introducing
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step 1: lust-worthy couture color
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patent-pending curve-hugging brush creates perfect color coverage.
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42 curated couture shades
O PR A H M A G A
BEAUTY O WARDS ����
Coarse: Dark and Lovely Au Naturale Length Retention S.O.S. Nourishing Scalp Elixir, $9; walmart.com
Dove Purely Pampering Sweet Cream with Peony Beauty Bar, $4 for two bars; drugstores
Nivea Cocoa Butter Body Cream, $8; drugstores
Clinique SPF 30 Mineral Sunscreen Lotion for Body, $32; clinique.com
Colored: Color Wow Coconut Cocktail Bionic Tonic, $24; colorwowhair.com
Olay Ultra Moisture Body Wash with Shea Butter, $7.50; drugstores Tatcha Indigo Smoothing Black Sugar Body Gommage, $74; tatcha.com
ST YLING PRODUCT Straight and Fine: Living Proof Full Dry Volume Blast, $29; sephora.com
Curly: Pantene Pro-V Curl Defining Mousse, $6.50; drugstores Coarse: Ouidad Curl Immersion Hi-Defining Custard, $28; ouidad.com Colored: Temptu Airbrush 24-Hour Root Touch-Up & Hair Color, $195 for Temptu Air and $35 for Airpod Root Touch-Up & Hair Color; temptu.com
Rodin Olio Lusso Lavender Absolute Luxury Body Oil, $130; oliolusso.com
Elizabeth Arden Prevage City Smart Broad Spectrum SPF 50 Hydrating Shield, $68; elizabetharden.com
Jo Malone London Cologne Intense Body Crème, $90; jomalone.com
FACE CLEANSER Dry: Pond’s MoistureClean Towelettes in Original Fresh, $5; drugstores Oily: Peter Thomas Roth Acne Clearing Wash, $38; peterthomasroth.com Combination: Lancôme Énergie de Vie Foam Cleanser, $35; lancome-usa.com Sensitive: Simple Hydrating Cleansing Oil, $10; drugstores
DAY CREAM Dry: Clinique PepStart Moisturizer, $30; sephora.com Oily: Perricone MD Pre:Empt Series Oil-Free Hydrating Cream, $75; sephora.com Combination: Philosophy Uplifting Miracle Worker Moisturizer, $65; philosophy.com
Sensitive: Garnier SkinActive Clearly Brighter Daily Moisturizer SPF 15, $15; drugstores
NIGHT TREATMENT Dry: Estée Lauder Advanced Night Repair Intensive Recovery Ampoules, $110; esteelauder.com Oily: L’Oréal Paris RevitaLift Bright Reveal Brightening Dual Overnight Moisturizer, $20; drugstores Combination: No7 Early Defence Night Cream, $21; target.com Sensitive: Neocutis MicroNight Riche Rejuvenating Balm, $182; neocutis.com for locations
SERUM Dry: Algenist Elevate Firming & Lifting Contouring Serum, $108; sephora.com
Oily: Murad Retinol Youth Renewal Serum, $88; murad.com Combination: Clarins Boosters in Repair, Detox, and Energy, $39 each; clarinsusa.com Sensitive: SK-II GenOptics Aura Essence, $240; sk-ii.com
EYE CREAM Dry: Sephora Collection Instant Awakening Eye Moisturizer, $18; sephora.com Oily: Dermalogica Age Reversal Eye Complex, $78; dermalogica.com Combination: Olay Eyes Pro-Retinol Eye Treatment, $25; drugstores Sensitive: Aveeno Absolutely Ageless Eye Cream, $22; drugstores
O CTOBER 2016
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We’ve come a long way since the era of one-sizefits-all breast cancer care. With so many advances in research and treatment, women now have a host of ways to live better each day after diagnosis. We talked to experts and survivors about the holistic shift that’s taking place in how to navigate the disease—and came up with five rules to help you feel healthier, happier, and more yourself, no matter what cancer throws at you.
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Take the Long View Doctors are now treating breast cancer patients with a focus on the future.
WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU...
Don’t eat or drink anything you really like during chemo.
These days, that scenario—doctors weighing a patient’s lifestyle when making treatment decisions—is increasingly common, as oncologists expand their focus from merely keeping patients alive to preserving the quality of their lives. This is as it should be: Breast cancer, after all, is no longer a death sentence. The overall ten-year survival rate is 83 percent; the 15-year rate, 78 percent. For cancer that’s diagnosed before it spreads beyond the breast, the five-year survival rate is 99 percent. “It goes without saying that we must fight cancer to the best of our ability,” says Jennifer Keating Litton, MD, associate professor of breast medical oncology at the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, where Sandlin was treated. “But what’s exciting today are the developments that let us pull back when we can.”
The breakthroughs start at diagnosis: Breast cancer patients can undergo tests, such as MammaPrint, which determines the likelihood of tumors’ recurrence and can potentially spare women unnecessary rounds of treatment; they may also choose chemo regimens that minimize the risk of early-onset menopause. “When you realize that it might take more than a year to recover from the side effects of treatment, you begin to see why it’s so important for women to be involved in the decisionmaking process,” says Patricia Ganz, MD, professor at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine and member of the Breast Cancer Research Foundation’s scientific advisory board. “I want women to prepare for the best possible life— physically and emotionally—after cancer.” —JIHAN THOMPSON
“There’s a famous restaurant in Kansas City that used to serve a broccolicheese soup that I loved. We would
the anti-nausea drugs, my body started associating the flavor with nausea, and now I can’t eat it!”
always stop for it on the way home from the hospital. But since chemo made me sick to my stomach, even with
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“In the past, a majority of our resources went to developing drugs to fight cancer,” says Debra Barton, PhD, professor at the University of Michigan School of Nursing. “As more people with cancer are living full lives, we need to shift more resources outside the biology box. People are more than just biology. We need to support the entire person.”
CHERYL JERNIGAN 65, Kansas City, Missouri, diagnosed in 1996
PORTRAITS: COURTESY OF CONTRIBUTORS (3)
WHEN BREE SANDLIN was diagnosed with stage III triple-negative breast cancer at 37, she worked full-time in marketing for a major corporation and was the mother of 5-year-old twin boys, one of whom had cerebral palsy. “I didn’t have time to be sick,” she says. Triple-negative breast cancer is more aggressive than other forms, but research has shown it can respond well to chemotherapy. When considering the particular treatment to recommend, Sandlin’s oncologist factored in her personal and professional commitments. “The drug she suggested took less time to inject and tended to have fewer side effects during the first round,” says Sandlin, who’s now 41 and has been in remission for three years. “It gave me more time to keep up at home and work, so I went for it.”
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Get a Second Opinion. No, Really. It’s the best way to start treatment feeling confident.
AMID THE CAPITAL-E emotions that attend a breast cancer diagnosis—terror, rage, dread—there’s often a quieter note: doubt. It’s the little voice in your head that asks, How do I know this doctor is telling me the right thing? That’s why many women opt for a second opinion. Some may shy away from seeing a different doctor because they fear being overwhelmed by conflicting information, but that’s increasingly
WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU...
Modesty will be a thing of the past.
less likely: In the past decade, both diagnosis and treatment have become fairly standardized. Experienced pathologists tend to agree on the diagnosis, and doctors usually stick to the treatment regimen recommended by the National Comprehensive Cancer Network, says Joanne Mortimer, MD, a medical oncologist and the director of women’s cancer programs at the cancer research and treatment center City of Hope near L.A.
“By the time I’d exposed myself to half the state of Massachusetts for breast exams, scans, injections, etc., I wasn’t shy about flashing
anyone—even interns who looked half my age. I should’ve had Mardi Gras beads thrown at me! Oh, and one other thing I wasn’t expecting: When I
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But within those regimens, there’s room to tailor treatments to your priorities, so it’s essential to make sure your doctor understands your specific needs. “When an otherwisehealthy 40-year-old woman comes in, she wants to do whatever is necessary to get cancer-free—she doesn’t want this disease again,” says Laura Shepardson, MD, associate director of breast imaging at the Cleveland Clinic. “Contrast that with an elderly woman who has breast cancer along with multiple other medical problems and just wants to be as comfortable as possible.” Bedside manner matters, too. “The patient-doctor relationship really is significant. You see each other regularly for a decade,” Mortimer says. “If you don’t feel a personality mesh, that’s a good reason to get another opinion.” She advises picking a physician at a different institution recommended by a nonprofit advocacy group, such as the American Society of Clinical Oncology. Susan Brown, Susan G. Komen’s senior director of health education, suggests that newly diagnosed patients ask how common their cancer is, what the treatment options are, and their pros and cons. That information will help guide you as you decide which doctor is right for you. —ALEXANDRA OSSOLA
shaved my head because I was losing chunks of my hair, the stubble felt like a thousand needles. We got rid of it by using duct tape like waxing strips.”
HOW TO SHARE YOUR DIAGNOSIS WITH...
Your Boss You may be wondering whether you even need to disclose the news to her. But “you should tell someone in a position to approve any accommodations you may need,” says Karen Hartman, a clinical social worker for Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. If you’re not sure yet, she adds, “It’s fine to say, ‘I don’t know what’s coming, but I might need time off for surgery and chemo, and I’d like to know what my options are.’ ” However you deliver the message, practice first, suggests Komen’s Susan Brown. “Saying ‘I have cancer’ out loud can cause a really emotional reaction.” —JUNO DEMELO
DAWN REESMAN 42, Southampton, Massachusetts, diagnosed in 2009
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Build a Better Team Three supporters you need by your side.
These advocates are like second moms: They can help schedule appointments, connect you with support groups, and remind you to do things like sign up for physical therapy. Some have clinical backgrounds and are qualified to partner with patients and providers in designing a treatment plan. Others, some of whom are survivors themselves, have been trained to explain care options and deal with insurance snags as well as transportation and meal delivery. Monica Dean, program manager for hospital systems and patient navigation for the American Cancer Society (ACS), notes that patients who pair up with navigators tend to have fewer missed appointments and ER visits.
Recruit someone to come with you to every appointment and keep a record of what your doctor says. Bonus points if she isn’t easily rattled. If this means calling on more than one person to help, make sure everyone stays in touch.
including the tight pectoral and weak shoulder and upper back muscles that can result from breast surgery. If you can’t find a class specifically for cancer patients, Finkel recommends looking for the words restorative, gentle, beginner, or Iyengar and filling in the instructor on your history.
DID YOU KNOW?
Studies suggest that yoga can benefit breast cancer patients by reducing inflammation, easing depression, and combating fatigue. Jenny Finkel, a Chicago yoga instructor who teaches at Northwestern University’s Robert H. Lurie Comprehensive Cancer Center, says the breathing exercises and poses help relieve the mental and physical complications of treatment,
Patient navigator services are free and available nationwide, says Dean. The American College of Surgeons’ Commission on Cancer now requires its 1,500-plus accredited cancer centers and programs to provide them. You can also find out whether any of the 100 ACS-trained navigators across the U.S. are near you by calling 800-227-2345. —LESLIE GOLDMAN
WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU...
Lotion will be your best friend.
“I would slather on a good half inch of Aquaphor under my arm, over my breast area, and on my chest and neck immediately when I got home after my radiation
treatments. I also rigged up a longhandled bath brush with a washcloth to put it on my back just below my shoulder, since I had burning there, too. Aquaphor is
so concentrated, it stained my sheets and mattress cover to the point that I had to wash them every few days, not to mention the T-shirts I wore to bed and
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around the house during treatment. But it was so worth it. Because I took such good care of my skin, I didn’t have the redness or ‘tanning’ that some people do.”
PATTY MASURE 65, Northampton, Massachusetts, diagnosed in 2015
HOW TO SHARE YOUR DIAGNOSIS WITH...
Prospective Partners “A lot of women fear that cancer will be a deal breaker when it comes to starting a relationship, but more often than not, people aren’t frightened away by the diagnosis,” says Sloan Kettering’s Karen Hartman. Not sure when to broach the subject? Hartman recommends speaking up before things get physical. If you foresee a future with the person, say something sooner rather than later. “It’s not first-date information,” says Brown, “but the longer you wait, the trickier it can be.” —J.D.
BREAST CANCER OTHERS CAN’T
©2016 City of Hope
is Joanne Mortimer, M.D., director of the Women’s Cancers Program at City of Hope. Using a novel form of a targeted therapy developed here, Dr. Mortimer and her colleague employ PET imaging to identify HER2 positive breast cancer cells that have spread beyond the breast. The goal is to identify which patients are likely to benefit from precision medicines. It takes a visionary approach to see what biopsies cannot show. At City of Hope, the future doesn’t wait for the future. See how at: CityofHope.org
HOW TO SHARE YOUR DIAGNOSIS WITH...
Your Loved Ones
Choose Meals That Heal Nutrition plays a key role during and after breast cancer treatment. Here’s how to fuel your body for a healthier life.
DURING TREATMENT: Eat Smarter Dietitians are still underrepresented in cancer centers, says Jessica Iannotta, a certified specialist in oncology nutrition and chief operating officer of the cancer nutrition service Savor Health, so ask your doctor to refer you to one; she can provide valuable nutritional advice. Postmenopausal cancer patients, for instance, often take aromatase inhibitors, which keep estrogen low, to treat tumors and reduce the risk of recurrence. “But those drugs also reduce bone density, so you may need more calcium and vitamin D,” says Iannotta.
FIGHTING CHANCE A new treatment is on the way for metastatic breast cancer.
Though breast cancer mortality rates are falling, more than 40,000 women die from the disease each year— the majority of them after it has spread. But researchers are optimistic that new drugs may extend even the sickest
Having nourishing meals on hand is also critical. “When you come home from chemo, you often just want to crawl into bed,” says breast cancer survivor Wendy Watkins, board president of the Cancer Nutrition Consortium and vice president of corporate communications at Hormel Foods. “Many women don’t have the energy to cook.” Her experiences—and patient surveys—informed Hormel’s new Vital Cuisine line of nutrient-rich shakes and heat-and-eat meals. (O testers think they’re delicious.) And for those who lack access to healthy options—Avon-funded programs report food-insecurity rates of up to 60 percent among their metastatic breast cancer patients—some hospitals have food pantries. Says Carolyn Ricci,
patients’ lives. The buzz is all about immunotherapy: Last year the FDA approved melanoma and lung cancer treatments that use the body’s T-cells to fight tumors; now research has confirmed that some breast cancer
tumors contain immune system cells, too. “We haven’t put together the right cocktail of immunotherapy drugs yet,” says MD Anderson’s Jennifer Keating Litton, MD, “but I think the theory of how we’re going to
program director of the Avon Breast Cancer Crusade, “You can get treatment and pick up nutritious food.”
AFTER TREATMENT: Stay on Track It can be tough to keep up the diet and exercise habits you began when you heard the word remission, but sticking to them matters. Research suggests that maintaining a healthy weight and staying active can improve longterm survival. Need an assist? Ask the Nutritionist: Recipes for Fighting Cancer is an app developed by DanaFarber Cancer Institute dietitians with easy recipes and answers to common questions. You can even submit your own. Want to know whether it’s safe to eat soy? Text away. —J.T.
attack is sound.” In fact, in a recent small clinical trial pairing chemo with immunotherapy, more than a third of women with fast-growing metastatic triplenegative breast cancer responded to treatment, and
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some saw their tumors stop growing; one participant has even been diseasefree for two years. “Over the past 20 years, the median life-span of a metastatic patient from diagnosis has doubled, from one
“Many patients worry more about their spouse than themselves,” says Sloan Kettering’s Karen Hartman. Take a little time to adjust and steel yourself for an emotional response that may include feelings of shock or helplessness. As for others, expect well-meant but at times frustrating reactions, especially in the form of unsolicited advice. To shut down an unhelpful helper, Hartman suggests memorizing a few lines you can deliver without becoming upset. “If someone says you just have to stay positive, try ‘I have good and bad days, but I’m doing my best.’ If they suggest an allorganic diet, say, ‘I’m very pleased with my doctors’ treatment plan.’” — J.D.
and a half years to three years, roughly,” says Marc Hurlbert, PhD, chief mission officer at the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. “Could we turn three into ten or 20 years? That’s the hope.” — J.T.
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A DV E RT I S E M E N T
kn w PRODUCTS | PROMOTIONS | EVENTS
Hack Chemo Katherine Anderson, naturopathic medicine chief of Cancer Treatment Centers of America, on how to sidestep three of chemotherapy’s roughest side effects.
HAIR LOSS Dignicap: This FDA-cleared device is a snug silicone cap filled with circulating coolant, which restricts blood flow to the scalp, minimizing follicles’ exposure to chemicals. Iron: Many cancer patients are iron deficient, whether from the disease itself, chemotherapy, blood loss, or major organ problems, which can cause hair to stop growing or shed prematurely. Upping levels with supplements or iron-rich foods, like lean meat and lentils, and then adding vitamin C, which helps with iron absorption, may slow hair loss. Essential fatty acids: A small study in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology found that a supplement containing fish oil and black currant seed oil, excellent sources of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, respectively, reduced hair loss, and improved strands’ diameter and density after six months.
NAUSEA Peppermint: This plant’s powerful essential oil reduced the intensity of nausea and frequency of vomiting within the first 24 hours after chemo in one small study.
Ginger: Research suggests that ginger may help lessen chemoinduced nausea, especially if taken before treatment. Acupuncture: Acupuncturists can focus on points associated with fighting nausea, such as the inner wrist. See a licensed practitioner who has worked in cancer care.
FATIGUE Dance: No doubt chemo can be exhausting, but a little movement has surprising benefits for cancer patients: A small German study found that dancing may help manage moderate to severe cancerrelated fatigue and that the added social engagement fights postdiagnosis depression. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Eliminating self-defeating thoughts, reframing your body image, and setting healthy goals— all aspects of CBT—can have a big impact. Look for a therapist who specializes in cancer care. Ginseng: A 2013 study funded by the National Cancer Institute and the Breast Cancer Research Foundation looked at the effect a 2,000-milligram daily dose of Wisconsin ginseng had on cancer patients, half of whom had breast cancer, over eight weeks. Ginseng takers experienced significantly less fatigue than those given a placebo. Look for the Wisconsin Ginseng Seal. —AS TOLD TO BETH LEVINE
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BY THE NUMBERS
The percentage of chemo patients whose nausea was reduced over the first 24 hours after treatment by taking the generic drug olanzapine, an antipsychotic, according to a recent study in The New England Journal of Medicine. It’s been prescribed offlabel for regimens with a high or moderate nausea risk, says Sanford Health oncologist Steven Powell, MD, one of the study’s coauthors; now the evidence may support wider use.
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Test Prep A look at the pros and cons of genetic testing.
UNDERGOING GENETIC TESTING for breast cancer is like consulting a foggy crystal ball: You can walk away with a vague idea of what might happen, but not the full picture. Having a mutation for the disease is no guarantee you’ll get it—and a negative result doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the clear. Only about 5 to 10 percent of breast cancers are hereditary; the rest are caused by sporadic mutations that a test can’t predict. If you have certain risk factors, however, testing can yield critical information. Testing identifies irregularities in your DNA, the blueprint that tells your body how to build cells. For the most part, we all share the same DNA, but each of us inherits some mistakes, called mutations, from our parents. Over the years, scientists have identified specific genes that, when they mutate, put people at higher risk for certain diseases. The most well-known of these genes are BRCA1 (as in breast cancer 1) and BRCA2. People with a BRCA1
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ILLUSTRATION BY Valero Doval
NOTED! If you’re considered at higher risk for a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation, then access to a genetic counselor and genetic testing are covered under the Affordable Care Act. You can find a counselor through the National Society of Genetic Counselors at nsgc.org.
BRCA2; she can also interpret and explain your results. One option for those who have a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation is breast removal. However, another is close monitoring through annual MRIs and mammograms and biannual clinical breast exams. If you have another breast cancer–related mutation, your doctor may recommend more frequent checkups or lifestyle changes that lower your risk. Genetic tests can’t predict what will happen, but they can help you plan for the road ahead. With a counselor’s guidance, you’ll feel empowered by what you learn. MEHMET OZ, MD, is the host of The Dr. Oz Show (weekdays; check local listings).
OZ: PETER ROSA/STUDIO D. HAIR: ANNE SAMPOGNA-GROSS. MAKEUP: LINDA MELO DANZO.
mutation, on average, have a 55 to 65 percent chance of getting breast cancer; with a BRCA2 mutation, the risk is around 45 percent. Scientists have also linked breast cancer with the gene PALB2, a partner gene of BRCA2 that tells cells to produce proteins that help repair damaged DNA. Someone with an abnormal PALB2 is five to nine times more likely to get breast cancer. Though several other mutations are linked to the disease, BRCA mutations remain the most common cause of hereditary breast cancers. But because BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations are relatively rare, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends the test only for those who, after screening and counseling, have been found to have a family history that puts them at significant risk—which includes having female relatives (mother, sister, aunt, grandmother) who’ve had breast cancer or cancer of the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or abdominal lining (a BRCA mutation is linked to higher risk of those cancers, too) or who got breast cancer before age 50. You’re also more likely to have a BRCA mutation if you’re related to a man who’s had breast cancer; people of Jewish Eastern European ancestry are more prone to the mutation, too. If you have none of these risk factors, testing isn’t recommended since it’s highly unlikely you’ve inherited a mutated gene. If you’re considering genetic testing, talk to your doctor and a specially trained genetic counselor. The process, which requires blood or saliva samples that may take two to four weeks to analyze, can be difficult without someone to guide you through it. Your counselor can connect you with a trusted lab and may arrange testing for other mutations in addition to BRCA1 and
Reading Room PLOTTING PARAMOURS
ILLUSTRATION BY Eili-Kaija Kuusniemi
OBJECTS OF DESIRE A legacy of love and selfishness propels an acclaimed writer’s seventh novel.
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OMMONWEALTH (HARPER), Ann Patchett’s wonderful new novel, opens with a random occurrence that will ultimately shatter two families. It’s a Sunday in 1960s Los Angeles. Fix Keating, a cop, and his wife, Beverly, are hosting a christening party. A latecomer shows up: Bert Cousins from the D.A.’s office, a man Fix barely knows and distinctly hasn’t invited. The charming interloper carries a bottle of gin as a makeshift gift, and Fix finds himself pumping Bert’s hand, welcoming him. By day’s end, Bert—who’s barreled into a near stranger’s party simply because he can’t face being cooped up at home with his pregnant wife and three kids—has seduced Beverly. In this suburban American version of the Trojan War, two marriages will be destroyed, and Bert and Beverly’s resulting union will disintegrate; one child of the reconstituted family will die needlessly, and the survivors will enter a lifelong struggle to mend the damage. Decades later, at the novel’s conclusion, Franny, the child whose christening Bert crashed, watches the now-78-year-old Beverly—still beautiful, still blonde, married to her third husband— and realizes, “If her mother hadn’t been so pretty none of it would have happened, but being pretty was nothing to blame her for.” It is Patchett’s gift to make us see the full cost of Franny’s ambiguous forgiveness. Patchett is a master storyteller whose talent for thrillerish suspense is combined with warm humor, moral generosity, and a curiosity about other worlds—earlier novels have been set, variously, in the Brazilian jungle, a South American vice president’s mansion, and a home for unwed mothers in Kentucky. Unfolding in patrol cars, Chicago bars, and Virginia motels, Commonwealth doesn’t venture as far afield. Yet Patchett’s enduring theme remains: Ordinary people’s kindness and grit can sometimes salvage catastrophes wrought by marauding egos. —FERNANDA EBERSTADT
THE PARTING HOUR Inspired by true events, Affinity Konar’s debut is a Holocaust novel for a new generation.
ILLUSTRATION BY Max Dalton
To Russia with Love Towles’s irresistible novel stars an aristocrat swept up in the tides of change.
Like Robinson Crusoe stranded on the Isle of Despair, the Count would maintain his resolve by committing to the business of practicalities. —from A Gentleman in Moscow
IN HIS SECOND elegant period piece, investment banker turned novelist Amor Towles continues to explore the question of how a person can lead an authentic life in a time when mere survival is a feat in itself. Rules of Civility, Towles’s debut, portrayed a young man who smoothed his path to Manhattan society’s upper echelons with the help of etiquette guidelines laid down by George Washington. In A Gentleman in Moscow (Viking), which begins after the Russian Revolution of 1917, Towles’s protagonist, Count Alexander Ilyich Rostov, aspires to move down the social ladder, transforming himself from count to comrade to save his Soviet-era skin while preserving his Russian soul.
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Towles’s tale, as lavishly filigreed as a Fabergé egg, gleams with nostalgia for the golden age of Tolstoy and Turgenev. The story begins in 1922, when the amiable count has been sentenced to house arrest within the precincts of Moscow’s opulent Hotel Metropol. As a nobleman, or “Former Person,” Rostov is regarded as a class enemy. If he so much as sets foot outside the hotel, his Bolshevik judges warn him, he will be shot. The count is only 32; for more than three decades, he will remain a captive of the Metropol. With a dash of Dumas and a soupçon of Frances Hodgson Burnett, Rostov exchanges staterooms for a garret, adapting to his reduced circumstances with grace and, soon enough, connecting with
fellow residents. He acquires a sidekick named Nina, a plucky hotel denizen who is the daughter of a wellconnected apparatchik. Despite Nina’s Communist mindset, she presses the count for recollections of princesses and duels from his youth. And Rostov kindles a romance with a glamorous film actress; their affair will outlast both Lenin and Stalin. Like Chekhov, Towles knows that “a story without a woman is like an engine without steam.” But the abiding romance here is with Russia’s literary past, which the author burnishes and carries shiningly forward, reminding the reader that though Putin may be having a moment, it’s Pushkin who’s eternal. —LIESL SCHILLINGER
KONAR: GABRIELA MICHANIE
“HAVE YOU ever had to live with the best part of yourself adrift, stationed at some unknowable distance?” So asks Stasha, one of the two narrators of Affinity Konar’s triumphant first novel, Mischling (Lee Boudreaux Books⁄Little, Brown), which follows sisters who refuse to be separated during their internment at Auschwitz or in the chaos following liberation. Mischling illuminates the unspeakable world of the death camp through the eyes of Stasha and her sister, Pearl. As twins, they are of special interest to Nazi physicians, most notably Josef Mengele, whose real-life atrocities Konar re-creates on the basis of extraordinary research. In a place where “children come and children go like minutes,” twins are exposed to horrors no one—let alone a child—is likely to recover from. Boiling water is poured into Stasha’s ear; she sees into a room where rows of prisoners’ extracted eyeballs are displayed. On steel tables piled with “instruments and confusions,” Pearl undergoes surgeries that diminish her irreparably. Yet the novel never devolves into a catalog of depravities. What gives this exquisitely told story its power, why it belongs to the twins and not to their torturers, is the unbreakable bond between Stasha and Pearl. By allowing us to see the darkest places through the eyes of innocents, Konar, astonishingly, delivers something pure. In what could be the bleakest of worlds, Mischling gives us moments of transcendent hope and even beauty. —ALICE WHITWHAM
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At BCRF, we unite around research, the only way we’ll achieve a future beyond breast cancer. We fund 250 leading researchers worldwide. Their research will stop cancer from dividing—and it’s already delivering. The innovative work BCRF funds improves care and transforms lives every day. This means longer lifespans, shorter hospital stays and less suffering. Research relies on all of us. Scientists. Patients. Caregivers. Donors. Families. Friends. Communities. You. It’s time to find our passionate purpose. Let’s unite. The end of cancer begins with us—together.
“That is what happens when you put your soul in charge of your life. You dare to claim the sky. That sky is different for everyone. For one person, maybe the sky is having a baby, being a parent, growing a family. But for another it’s never having kids; it’s traveling the globe; it’s saving the world.... You know your sky. And if you don’t, it’s because you haven’t listened closely enough.” —from best-selling author and Omega Institute cofounder Elizabeth Lesser’s new memoir, Marrow: A Love Story (Harper Wave)
SECRETS AND LIES A nurse wrestles with fantasy and fanaticism in a fight to save a girl’s life. EMMA DONOGHUE burst onto the wider literary scene with Room, a sort-of thriller that unfolds chillingly as the reader comes to understand the grim restrictions of the narrator’s life. Like that earlier novel, which became an Oscar-nominated film, The Wonder (Little, Brown) explores a dark, insular, and rigidly controlled environment. This time, though, it’s one driven by a belief system rather than a sociopath. The Wonder takes place in 19th-century Ireland in a remote farming community. Apparently, a miracle is taking place: For four months, a young Catholic girl, Anna O’Donnell, has been living on air and a few spoonfuls of water. An English Protestant nurse, Lib Wright, rigorously trained by Florence Nightingale, is brought in by a selfappointed committee to observe the child, or to determine whether a fraud is being perpetrated. Donoghue’s clever use of an outsider as narrator lets her explain anomalies to us—what a creepie is (a log stool) and why people tie rags to a tree (to hold their pain)—as she encounters them
ILLUSTRATION BY Rory Kurtz
herself. But there is more to this mystery than superstitions and local dialect. Lib must decipher the private truths of Anna and her family, who have closed ranks in grief over the loss of a son. She must puzzle out the community itself and its contradictory beliefs in religion, science, and tradition. And Lib has her own sorrowful secrets, her own need for personal redemption. Donoghue deftly pairs the two stories, and as Lib uncovers the truth about Anna, she gradually owns the truth about herself. —ROXANA ROBINSON
THE TRIMESTER OF MY DISCONTENT The author of Atonement offers up the unlikeliest murder mystery of the year.
HE TITLE IS FROM Hamlet: “O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.” Ian McEwan has gone ahead and bounded him. The unnamed protagonist of his latest novel, Nutshell (Nan A. Talese⁄Doubleday), narrates from the womb. The core elements otherwise echo Shakespeare’s: The hero’s mother, Trudy, is having an affair with his father’s loathsome brother, Claude, and he hears the pair plotting to poison his father. And what purer framing of that elemental question, “to be or not to be,” than the mind of a human yet unborn? The not-to-be he attempts via umbilical strangulation—“three turns around my neck of the
mortal coil.” He fails (for “to kill the brain is to kill the will to kill the brain”), then resolves to be: to “get born and act!” And I will give no more away. Whence a fetus who can form sophisticated thoughts and express them in Shakespeare-esque elegance and cadence? That, truly, is the question. The answer: “I listen, I learn.” Our narrator imbibes the podcasts his mother plays to put herself to sleep. Talk radio, self-improvement audiobooks, the BBC—he hears it all “above the launderette din of stomach and bowels.” Improbably, McEwan pulls it off. I bought the premise and never looked back. The tormented, windily erudite fetus of Nutshell is a character as completely and convincingly rendered as Hamlet himself. McEwan spins wicked gold from the implausible circumstances he’s conjured. “Not everyone knows O CTOBER 2016
what it is to have your father’s rival’s penis inches from your nose.” Fellatio (now striking my ear like the name of a Shakespearean character) provokes a similar dread: that “what she swallows will find its way to me as nutrient, and make me just a little like him.” On the plus side of umbilical intake, Trudy knows her wines. And so, therefore, does Junior. “No one seems to want to read aloud the label so I’m forced to make a guess, and hazard an Échezeaux Grand Cru.” An embryonic oenophile! One of the many preposterous enchantments that will, I predict, make this the most talked-about novel of the season. —MARY ROACH
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Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer
Autumn’s ABUNDANCE Sleeping on Jupiter
This month great books are as plentiful as falling leaves. We’ve harvested 20 titles to hunker down with.
Cataclysms in the Middle East are the backdrop for this cosmichistoric-domestic drama by the author of Everything Is Illuminated.
The Lesser Bohemians by Eimear McBride
Her debut, A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing, was a sensation. Now McBride returns with a powerful novel about desire.
Cast Away by Charlotte McDonald-Gibson
Galvanizing and deeply compassionate, these true tales of the European refugee crisis focus on the riveting stories of the exiles themselves.
Eleanor and Hick
by Michelle Tea
by Anuradha Roy
by Thomas Mullen
by Susan Quinn
In an unflinching novel from one of India’s greatest living authors, a girl adopted by a Norwegian woman returns to the orphanage where a renowned guru abused her.
Atlanta, 1948: The police department hires its first black officers, whose probe of a black woman’s murder points to a white ex-cop, in a novel that couldn’t be timelier.
Find out how Lorena Hickok, a whiskey-swilling political reporter, became the longtime lover of Eleanor Roosevelt, subtly changing the course of American history.
What begins as a mordant semiautobiographical chronicle of romance and heroin in queercore San Francisco takes a sharp right turn when sobriety and the apocalypse collide in the City of Angels.
The Pigeon Tunnel
Sing for Your Life
The Needle’s Eye
by John Le Carré
by Gayle Forman
by Daniel Bergner
by Fanny Howe
In his first work of nonfiction, the prolific espionage writer reveals the real-life events and the courageous and cagey men and women who inspired his greatest thrillers.
In an enthralling novel reminiscent of Anne Tyler’s Ladder of Years, a woman who recently suffered a heart attack runs away to recover her equilibrium.
A true-life rags-to-Wagner story of an African American bass-baritone who transcends his violent, impoverished upbringing to win a Metropolitan Opera competition.
With subjects ranging from the Virgin Mary to the Tsarnaev brothers, this haunting and highbrow collection of poem, essay, and folktale meditates on youth, doomed or redeemed.
by Juan Gabriel Vásquez, translated by Anne McLean
by Nicholson Baker
by Marisa Silver
by Tama Janowitz
The National Book Critics Circle Award winner becomes a substitute teacher in Maine and reports on the enlightening, exasperating experience in a wryly tenderhearted work of nonfiction.
A provocative original fairy tale about the persecution and salvation of Pavla, a girl scorned by her village for her dwarfism.
This memoir from a member of the literary brat pack of the go-go ’80s is resplendent with “I was there” celeb gossip, familial pain, and hard-earned humor.
In a fictionalized Colombia, Javier Mallarino is the greatest political cartoonist of his time, until an encounter with his past prompts him to reassess the virtue of his life’s work.
The Art of Waiting
Deceit and Other Possibilities
by Jessica Grose
by Vanessa Hua
by Alexandra Kleeman
by Belle Boggs
We all have exes we wish would go poof. But when Dana’s actually turns up dead—in an apparent yoga-related murder-suicide—she investigates, in a novel exposing hard truths about a marriage.
This searing debut story collection is about immigrants navigating a new America—among them a Hong Kong movie star enveloped in a sex scandal and a Mexican teen struggling to keep his family together.
Just 30 and already being compared to Thomas Pynchon, Kleeman confirms her status with her latest: 12 deliciously unsettling short stories. —NATALIE BEACH, DOTUN AKINTOYE, AND LEIGH HABER STANDING BOOKS: MARSHALL TROY
Why are some women fertile and others not? What is the emotional toll (and benefit) of childlessness? All that and more are tackled in this cultural history⁄memoir.
Darling Days by iO Tillett Wright
From this radical gender-fluid artist comes a ferocious memoir about self-invention, authenticity, and growing up in 1990s New York with an erratic show-girl mother.
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2016 PROP STYLIST: BRIAN BRYNE FOR SET IN ICE. PUMPKIN CARVING: MANIC PUMPKIN CARVERS. DESIGNER: SIENA TAN.
When we offer help and kindness—and receive them in return—our lives glow a little brighter (page 126).... Meet Glennon Doyle Melton, author of Oprah’s provocative new book club pick (page 140).... And carve out some time to discover the season’s chicest coats and boots (page 144)....
PHOTOGRAPH BY Sam Kaplan
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PHOTOGRAPHS BY The Voorhes O CTOBER 2016
STATE of Our MINDS PART
THERE ARE FEW REMEDIES AS POWERFUL AS HUMAN CONNECTION: a community to participate in, a congregation to lean on, a support group to draw strength from. In this final installment of our three-part series on mental health, we explore just how transformative communal bonds can be.
WORK IN PROGRESS At Gould Farm, everyone has a job to do. The most important: heal. By Katie Arnold-Ratliff
DEEP IN THE pastureland of western Massachusetts, off a road cluttered with clapboard houses, sprawls a 700-acre plot known as Gould Farm. Its dairy cows—the ladies, everyone calls them— live at the top of Gould Road, which ambles past the farm’s red barn, its row of tractors, its domed greenhouse carpeted with tender lettuce. The farm is run by a handful of teams. The gardeners till and harvest vegetables, which the cooks sauté and steam for dinner. Dessert comes from the barn, a bakery in disguise, where a squad in white toques measures and mixes. Their milk comes from the aforementioned ladies, tended by
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another team, who also sees to the cows’ progeny (such as Puddin’, newly born to Phoebe). The pasture abuts the vast woods encircling the farm, where the grounds crew clears fallen trees and lets goats graze the trails clean. Everyone has a job. Every task is essential. But nothing is more essential than the work of healing: Every person here has come because, out in the world, mental illness had finally ground his or her life to a halt. AT THE TURN of the 20th century, people who were mentally ill (or believed to be) were often housed in asylums, where beds were scarce and
STATE of Our MINDS PART
PROP STYLIST: ROBIN FINLAY. SPOT ILLUSTRATIONS: BROWN BIRD DESIGN. CUSTOM TYPE: YIPPIEHEY.
windows were barred. In her famous 1887 exposé of a New York women’s asylum, undercover journalist Nellie Bly saw patients beaten, berated, served rotten food, and left to suffer in the cold. Psychiatric practices of the day included crude electrotherapy, freezing baths, and physical restraint. So it’s hard to overstate just how extraordinary it was that in 1913, devout Christians Will and Agnes Gould purchased a tract of farmland to found a restorative community for the mentally ill—a place where daily toil and friendly fellowship would be cornerstones of treatment. A century later, these principles— minus the religious bent—endure at the farm, supplemented with modern medicine and therapy. The few dozen guests, as residents are called, pay on a sliding scale and stay as long as they need. When a guest arrives—often after a hospital stay, or several—he or she is given a job. Work, the farm’s leaders believe, is therapy. “What’s the first thing that disappears when you lose your grip on your life?” asks a former guest. “Your sense of purpose.” Which is just what a job restores. THIS MORNING, Main House—the ancient white three-story structure where Gould Farmers eat, socialize, and report for duty—is alive with voices and the screech of forks on plates. Guests and staffers, who live in houses on the farm, are finishing breakfast. The meal is capped with a hesitant but sincere group rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Guests line up for meds, then join their teams. Today, the bakers—led by staffer Nathan, who whistles Madonna’s “Borderline” while zipping about the kitchen—are making chocolate chip bagels, zest-flecked madeleines, and a sturdy coffee cake. Two women work at stand mixers, diligently bageling; pans clatter as they’re slotted into racks. A scruffy young man measures out madeleine ingredients. Nearby, a younger man leans over
a hip-high metal table, reading a recipe. After a half hour, vanilla and milk mingle with a mound of sugar in the bowl before him, but adding the eggs is proving difficult. One hit the floor with a sharp crinkle. One went half into the bowl, half down its side. Another broke on the table, albumen slinking across the steel. Now Nathan walks over with a rag. “Let’s tidy up,” he says gently. New eggs are retrieved. The man keeps on. The batter materializes. “You never forget that this place exists to help people,” Nathan will later say. “But you also gotta get the muffins out on time, y’know?” The first team a guest joins is the forestry and grounds crew: tall brambles, acres to clear. After this, other jobs are there for the trying. You might plant, cook, or help the mechanic fix tractors. Where you land is a matter of temperament. “Guests take a crack at things to see what works,” says Lisanne Finston, Gould Farm’s stalwart, sunny executive director. “We had one guy, a corporate lawyer. He’d never met a pig in his life, but the pig farm became his baby. He researched what makes pigs happy— turns out one thing is puzzles. So he made a pen of buried objects for them to dig up.” Finston opens a fridge full of waxy golden discs. Out rolls a wave of funk. “Two guests are learning cheese-making,” she says. EACH WEDNESDAY IS community meeting; it’s warm out today, so the proceedings are moved to a circle of benches near Main House. Finston, outfitted with Tevas and her ubiquitous coffee cup, brushes a hand through her graying hair and updates the group: So-and-so is leaving. So-and-so is arriving. Friday dinner will be pizza at the barn. The next van to town—Great Barrington, population 6,933—will be Saturday. It’s dusk, the sky rosy. Snacks of yogurt and granola have been served. While many guests suffer OPRAH.COM
from intractable illnesses—bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, catastrophic depression—the tone is convivial. It’s difficult to tell guests from staff. Difficult, but not impossible. A middle-aged woman, her blonde hair limp, finishes her yogurt and, stonefaced, lets the bowl and spoon clatter to the grass. A moment later, she titters. And titters again. Beneath a tree, a bespectacled 20-something girl plucks blades of grass, never looking up. One broad-shouldered, unshaven man sits atop a picnic table, mouth ajar. He seems, as some guests do, to be elsewhere—like a link to life has broken, stranding him. But then he speaks, and it’s as though he’s woken from a trance: “We’re showing Braveheart in our dorm. We’ll have face paint. Wear kilts!” The so-and-so leaving tomorrow frowns intensely at his feet. He’s gawkily handsome. When someone congratulates him, he laughs in tiny bursts and ducks his head. THE FOLLOWING afternoon, a small group hikes Diane’s Trail, named for the late wife of one of Gould Farm’s veteran staffers. The goats tear at leaves, skittering into guests’ knees. Among the hikers is a man who’s just returned to the farm. Some people leave and never come back. Some need two stays, three. Some depart and meet the saddest, most dreaded fate. Last year, when a man took his own life
“WHAT’S THE FIRST THING that disappears when you lose your grip on your life? Your sense of purpose.” Which is just what a job restores.
MILLION AMERICAN ADULTS live with major depression, while another 6.3 million live with bipolar disorder, and 2.6 million live with schizophrenia.
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STATE of Our MINDS PART
shortly after leaving, Finston broke the news to the guests who’d known him. Couldn’t hearing this have set back their progress? “Recovery isn’t linear,” she says. “You go up; you go back down. We’re honest about that.” On the trail, the just-returned man speaks in a slurred stream. Talk of his parents morphs into the tale of a longago slight perpetrated by his brother. There is no thread to follow. “I see,” says the staffer. “That must have been tough.” The group walks on, footfalls and hoofbeats muffled by the trail’s moss. AT DINNER on Thursday, the damp heat is persistent. The kitchen serves chicken potpie, peas, a watermelonfeta salad. At the picnic tables, Gould Farmers talk, dig into second helpings. A therapist’s child climbs a sapling and hangs from her knees. The young man about to leave the farm eats with friends, bent over his plate. Opposite him sits the girl who spent Wednesday’s meeting plucking grass. Her face is blank. They all eat in silence. Then the soon-to-be-gone boy turns to the girl. “I’m going to miss you,” he says, nodding. “It’s been awesome getting to be friends.” She smiles in response, her eyes softening, her face radiant. Tomorrow, that young man will travel down the hill—past the cows, barn, greenhouse, and woods. To leave Gould Farm via Gould Road, you must pass through a hundred-yard stretch of foliage, where the road narrows and the trees form a tunnel of pine. Branches block the sky. It’s dark in there, even in daylight. Because the road bends, it’s difficult to discern where you’re going. But then you reach the pavement. The world mercifully widens. And the way forward opens once again.
BEYOND BELIEF Reverend Donna Allen, PhD, uses her pulpit to preach the gospel of self-care.
OURS ISN’T A large congregation. There are about 45 of us. So when you come here, you can’t be hidden. We’re gonna see you. We have older people, a few young adults, children. We call ourselves “radically inclusive.” It’s our desire to be a place for men and women, people with different spiritual journeys, people with different physical or mental abilities, people who, like me, are same-gender-loving, people who’ve suffered “church burns”—who’ve been left out, overlooked. We don’t feel Jesus is the only path to God. We talk about the importance of diverse experiences. I’m transparent about mine. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I’ve dealt with depression, flashbacks. I’ve spoken in sermons about seeing a therapist for PTSD, taking medication. For years, I got rhetoric from the church that mental illness was equivalent to a lack of faith. Here, we don’t do that kind of harm. We challenge that stigma. We don’t tell people God won’t give you more than you can bear, or that it’s gonna be better in the morning. No. The black community often doesn’t seek care. The messages we get from family can become our lexicon for mental health. My grandmother would say, “Pray it away.” A therapist wasn’t in her arsenal of things you turned to when you were sad. You were “too blessed to be stressed.” Well, no, I’m blessed and I’m stressed, and I need more. I need to pray, and. I grew up in North Jersey, the inner city. My parents were from Southern, churchgoing families, but they didn’t always take my brother and me. When I was 8, I decided I wanted to go myself because other kids were there. The only place close enough was an Episcopal church, so that’s where I went. When my mother came to see me perform my little part in the Sunday school program and saw I was the only black child, she started taking us to an African Methodist Episcopal church. We made it our home. That’s where I was ordained, and, later, my mother, too. I moved to the Bay Area and began to raise questions about the role of inclusiveness in the church. My bishop said, “What you do when gays come to church is preach conversion.” That wasn’t acceptable to me. I said, “I feel called to be in a faith community that welcomes all people.” So I left to create one and called it New Revelation Community Church. Our first Bible study was in November 2004 at a Marriott in downtown Oakland. I told very few people—I kind of hoped it would fail so I could say,
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“Well, I tried, but it didn’t work, so let me go ahead and get a real job.” Running a church is hard, and at 40, I wasn’t young. But people came, many from black church environments that weren’t affirming of same-genderloving people. There was a lot of teaching. People had their theology stretched. Some left. But we survived. We’ve met in other churches, we’ve met in a bar, and now we’re meeting in a frat house. We started ministering in the park—bringing social service resources, food, and clothes to the homeless. Easily half the people we encountered had some undiagnosed mental health issue. We didn’t know how to help. So with four other churches, we formed the Overall Wellness project. (We like to call ourselves Oh Well.) In 2011, Alameda County gave us a grant, which we used to take Mental Health First Aid training. It’s like CPR: You learn how to recognize a crisis and what to do to address it. We’ll invite people on the street to our twice-monthly free community breakfasts, and someone may be standing on the corner talking to himself. You say to yourself, Okay, I’m a Mental Health First Aider, so I know not to be afraid. He’s hallucinating. I can decide whether to call 911 or just encourage him to come eat. We were also trained in the Wellness Recovery Action Plan, which is a peer support model. In a church, you’re often in the business of helping people grieve. Now we can say, “Maybe this isn’t grief; maybe it’s depression. Let’s deal with the fact that your mother died around this time three years ago and you’re still revisiting that.” There are congregants who received training and realized they, or someone they loved, were dealing with serious things. One woman got a call from her son one day. He was clearly high. We’d learned that people often get high because they hurt. She asked him the question we’d been taught to ask: Are you thinking of hurting yourself? And after a long silence, he said yes. Now she knew how to intervene. And we were able to take care of her, too. Another woman went through the training, and it gave her the courage to reach out to a doctor. “This isn’t just sadness,” the doctor said. “For a week at a time you’re unable to function.” Now she’s on medication. She seems like a different person, to herself and to us. During the training, it was like we all looked at one another: We didn’t know it, but this is what we do! Helping our community, addressing the hurdles that people have to accessing care. We’re saying, “We look like you, and we can help you.” I want faith to be not just an opiate that helps us survive—I want faith to be an opportunity for us to thrive. If you’re dealing with a crisis, you can come here and not hear the language of stigma. We will not marginalize or ignore you. Rather, we will be inviting, receptive, welcoming. Radically inclusive. We’ll point you to resources, be part of your wellness. We’ll stand with you. The church should be a safe place for your mind, body, and soul. It all matters to God. —AS TOLD TO SUMMER SEWELL
OF AFRICAN AMERICAN ADULTS report living with a mental health condition— yet only about 10% of black women and 6% of black men seek treatment.
WORK OF HEART Can a lump of clay and a bunch of strangers soothe your frayed nerves? Michelle Wildgen finds out.
STATE of Our MINDS
SOME NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED.
THERE WERE EIGHT OF US around the table. We’d signed up for a twohour workshop with Madison, Wisconsin, art therapists Mary Williams and Kelly Toltzien, who together founded Madison Art Therapy in 2015. Our number included seven women and one man, mostly in our 30s and 40s. We were there to reconnect with our artistic sides—and our feelings. Williams and Toltzien sat at either end of the table. Williams had silver bands on her fingers and a contagious grin. Toltzien’s blue eyes seemed to take in the entire room at once. The
two have known each other since college, and they chatted easily like the friends they are. First they spread postcards across the table, and we sifted through them to select one that introduced both ourself and our state of mind. Carrie considered a photo of a nude woman in a field, but instead chose an image of Yosemite’s rugged landscape. Ellen, fresh from work in a dress and a cardigan, chose a picture of children on bikes. “It’s been a shitty week in the news, and I chose this because it’s a happy image,” she said. I’d just returned from a long work trip and
thrown a birthday party for my 5-year-old, and I was miffed at my husband for suggesting we keep it smaller next time. I picked two cards: a Picasso Mother and Child and a Cartier-Bresson photo of three people in Spain looking suspicious and defiant. Sitting and talking may be the typical way of expressing your feelings, Williams said, but art therapy is built on the idea that using the creative process—and our physicality— in therapy is doubly effective. If you’re throwing paint at a canvas, she says, “that’s sending a message to your body and brain: ‘Okay, I just said this paint was going to represent my anger, and here I am letting go of it.’” Once we’d used the images to read the mood in the room—mostly frazzled—we moved to our first project, which was sculpting clay into a depiction of something we were ready to part with. I hoped to release my habit of holding on to resentments (like those that arise in the wake of unappreciated birthday parties). How to embody that? As I worked, I looked around the table and had my first therapeutic insight: I’m not a very good artist. At least not by comparison. Carrie’s flaring lily had a twisted stem, which, when turned, looked cunningly like a tornado. In Ellen’s diminutive clay wall, each brick was eerily uniform. Marianne, who talked of feeling fragmented in her job and homelife, made an open hand, placed a clock in its palm, then closed the fingers. Our therapists sculpted, too; Toltzien fashioned an impressive mountain peak, like a tiny Mordor. I noodled with worms of oystercolored clay before settling on my best representation of hidden resentments: a tentacled ingot trapped in a coiled vase. After we finished and described our sculptures, Williams and Toltzien revealed that the “letting go” was no metaphor. We fanned out into the night to find a place in the grass, trees, or bushes where our sculptures could return to the earth. (This being
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I NOODLED WITH worms of oyster-colored clay before settling on my best representation of hidden resentments: a tentacled ingot trapped in a coiled vase.
STATE of Our MINDS PART
IT DIDN’T REALLY MATTER what I made; what was calming was the process of making.
environmentally conscious Madison, we’d verified that our creations were toxic only in emotional terms.) Carrie and Marianne pitched theirs into the woods. Terry walked off, holding her sculpture in both hands, then returned without it. I wasn’t sure about hurling my resentment tentacles, so I set the sculpture behind some nettles. Much of what happens in art therapy is beyond words, Toltzien told us. She and Williams offer a variety of media to help people reach that primal plane: collages, flowing watercolors, grid drawings to help with focus, even body movements. Next up for our group was stones. The idea was to fill the psychic space we’d cleared with something positive. Each of us chose a smooth rock to transform with paints and markers. Marianne adorned hers with looping rainbows; Carrie turned hers into a precise fairy garden of blooms. Anna painted a silhouetted rabbit (“my spirit animal”) within the borders of a snake eating its own tail. Layering paint on stone, I learned that to me positivity resembles a blurry Ukrainian Easter egg. Our group discussed kids and work, issues of middle age or middleclass life. But Madison Art Therapy also serves people grappling with trauma, grief, anxiety, depression. Whatever her malady, a client may not have held a paintbrush since childhood. During the session, I’d had a glimpse of transformation. It didn’t really matter what I made; what was calming was the process of making—and of seeing what people struggle with and how they choose to express it. By the end of the session, my very posture had changed. I felt no need to fidget or speak—just an unfamiliar, welcome stillness. I wondered what I could create that would let me feel it again.
THE STRONGEST LINK Liza Long told the world her harrowing story—and turned herself into a one-woman connection machine.
IMAGINE YOUR 13-YEAR-OLD son’s white-hot temper is ignited by the slightest offense. Simple requests are met with a hail of insults. He terrifies his siblings, who know to run to the car and lock the doors when things escalate. One day you ask him to return his library books. He pulls a knife, threatens to kill you and himself. No doctor seems able to curb, or even explain, his behavior. In a 2012 blog post, “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother,” about parenting just such a child, Liza Long exposed how little help parents like her receive. Published after Adam Lanza massacred 26 students and staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, Long’s essay went viral. Many mothers offered sympathy, including some in Boise, Idaho, where Long lives. But as a result of the exposure, a family court judge ruled that she’d lose physical custody of her younger children until her son, Eric, was placed in a residential facility— despite his doctor’s belief that this was unwarranted. It took almost a year of legal battles before Long’s children could return home. Confronting a healthcare system that provided little help—and, she says, “a legal system that actively made things worse”—turned Long, 44, into an invaluable resource for others who felt similarly unsupported, particularly once she wrote a book, The Price of Silence, which further exposed the challenges the mentally ill face. “So many people got in touch,” Long says. “Mothers who couldn’t help their kids, politicians who wanted to know what it’s like, doctors who wanted to help.” In 2013, a New York psychiatrist diagnosed Eric with bipolar disorder and prescribed him medication; now 17, Eric has his moods under control. “My sweet boy,” Long says. “He’s received amazing treatment. But it cost an entire paycheck to visit that doctor, who didn’t take insurance. What about people who can’t afford that?” Long now fields dozens of calls each week, connecting strangers with hospitals, therapists, Facebook groups, and other forms of support. “Yesterday I got a call from a woman whose landlord was trying to evict her because she’s mentally ill. We brainstormed ideas; then she called an attorney who sent her to the Fair Housing Board.” Long has found her calling. “I’ve had the chance to help so many people,” she says. “We’ve never met, but we connect on such a deep level because I know the journey they’re on.” —K.A.R.
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REACH OUT AND TWEET SOMEONE Gabby Frost and Sonia Doshi harness the power of social media to help suffering students find their tribe.
WHEN GABBY FROST was a studious, soft-spoken ninth grader in tiny North Wales, Pennsylvania, she watched a close friend sink into despair. “She was having trouble in school,” says Frost, now an applecheeked 18-year-old. “Then she had to change schools, and friends fell out of her life. I tried to be there for her. One day she said, ‘I appreciate your friendship.’” Frost suspects that if this girl had been forced to face her challenges alone, things might have ended differently. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 20 percent of kids ages 13 to 18 live with depression, anxiety, or other serious mood or conduct disorders. Many engage in self-destructive behaviors such as cutting. Some contemplate suicide. That same year, on Twitter, Frost also talked down other teens she didn’t know who said they were suicidal and had no supportive family or friends. So she started wondering: What if she could find a way to pair up kids who were struggling and felt isolated? Could that help? Today her website, Buddy Project (buddy-project.org), has connected more than 140,000 young people who need someone to talk to. Launched in April 2013, the site asks users to indicate their interests from a pool of options: things like comic books, feminism, photography, Demi Lovato. (Many of the choices are music related—“that’s what teenagers talk about,” Frost says.) Frost pairs buddies by interest and age; they check in, chat, and offer support via text, tweet, and email. The feedback she receives is staggering. “It’s the tweets where people say that without this they would be hurting themselves, that they wouldn’t be alive, that always stun me,” Frost says.
W SONIA DOSHI, 22, also watched peers struggle. At the competitive Adlai E. Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire, Illinois,
she saw friends collapse under the intense pressure to succeed. “There were students at the top of the class who’d withdraw from friends or start missing school,” she says. “They were showing signs of depression. I just didn’t know then what the signs were.” Doshi learned them once she arrived at the University of Michigan. There, the bright-eyed brunette helped create an online forum for students to support one another and worked on surveys to help colleges assess their mental health climate. She also founded the Tinyshifts National Film Competition, in which college students were asked to create two-minute videos about how they deal with stress and offer ways to cope. In 2015, Doshi organized a show akin to The Vagina Monologues, in which students told stories of living with mental illness, some revealing their struggle for the first time. Doshi—like Frost—believes the best support young people can receive is from friends. “We turn to them first,” she says. “It takes strength to broach the subject of mental health, and if the person we confide in doesn’t know how to help, an opportunity is wasted. That’s what we have to prevent.” —K.A.R.
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“IT’S THE TWEETS where people say that without this they would be hurting themselves, that they wouldn’t be alive, that always stun me.”
STATE of Our MINDS PART
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS ON THIS YOU CAN RELY: IF YOU’RE FEELING IT, SOMEONE ELSE IS, TOO. HERE’S HOW TO FIND YOUR KIND AND THE COMFORT THEY CAN PROVIDE.
I AM... STRUGGLING WITH ANXIETY: Create
your own profile at Anxiety Social Net (anxietysocialnet.com) to connect with people dealing with everything from social anxiety to agoraphobia. Prefer to meet in person? Find a state-by-state list of support groups at the Anxiety and Depression Association of America’s website (adaa.org). STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION OR BIPOLAR DISORDER: Locate an in-person
ALL STATISTICS FROM THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS, THE NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH, AND THE SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES ADMINISTRATION.
or online group at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance site (dbsalliance.org). STRUGGLING WITH POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION: The
Postpartum Progress site (postpartum progress.com) lists support groups in nearly every state as well as in Canada and maintains an online forum. STRUGGLING WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA: The
OF ALL LIFETIME CASES OF MENTAL ILLNESS begin by age 14; 75% begin by age 24.
Schizophrenia and Related Disorders Alliance of America facilitates groups nationwide; find one on its site (sardaa.org). You can also dial into its phone groups (855640-8271) at 7 P.M. ET Sunday, Thursday, and Friday with the pass code 88286491#.
PLAGUED BY OBSESSIVECOMPULSIVE THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS: More
than 200 groups are listed with the International OCD Foundation (iocdf.org), which aids those affected by the disorder and their families. THE ADULT CHILD OF AN ALCOHOLIC: The
Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization maintains numerous support groups and hosts call-in and online sessions (meetings .adultchildren.org). GRIEVING SOMEONE WHO DIED BY SUICIDE: Join one of
the many groups for survivors listed on the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (afsp.org). A SURVIVOR OF RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, OR INCEST:
After Silence (aftersilence.org) is a message board and chat room for victims of sexual violence. Additionally, Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ascasupport.org) organizes support groups around the U.S. and abroad, and offers resources for those who want to start their own.
BATTLING ANOREXIA, BULIMIA, BINGE EATING, OR FOOD ADDICTION: Eating
Disorder Hope catalogs online support groups (eatingdisorderhope .com⁄recovery⁄supportgroups⁄online); it also offers help and advice for those close to someone struggling to overcome an eating disorder. BATTLING SEX ADDICTION: Sex
Addicts Anonymous (saa-recovery.org), similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, offers a widespread network of in-person, online, and phone meetings. SELF-HARMING:
DailyStrength hosts a web forum where people dealing with self-injury can find encouragement, understanding, and a new way to cope (dailystrength.org⁄ group⁄self-injury). A VETERAN WHO IS INJURED OR HAS PTSD: The VA Combat
Call Center—877WAR-VETS (877927-8387)—is staffed 24⁄7 by fellow combat veterans or spouses of disabled veterans who can offer immediate help; the Vet Center program site (vetcenter.va.gov) can direct visitors to both group and private counseling sessions in their area.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
HAZEL FINDLAY rock-climber
Hanging Out in Oman Since I was a kid, I’ve known I was meant to be a climber. At some point I realized, This is what I do—the same way musicians know they have to play. When I was little, my dad and I went to the coast on weekends to hike and scramble up trees. Since then, I’ve summited El Capitan in Yosemite, scaled boulders in southern India, and grappled with Australia’s Mount Arapiles. I climbed competitively from age 7 to 16, then gave that up. Competitions are always held indoors on artificial walls, which means practicing on them constantly, spending a lot of time inside. My heart wasn’t in it. So much of this sport is mental. People are distracted by fear; even I still get scared. Things
can go wrong fast. I’ll do a move and realize I can’t reverse. But if you keep your emotions in check, you’re able to see clearly and understand you’re fine. You never master climbing—you can always be stronger, you can always be better, you can always be bolder. I’ve done big wall climbing, where you spend multiple days on one rock face and sleep in a tent attached to the side. It’s magical: You wake up hanging on a little ledge on the wall you’re about to climb, watching the sun move across the mountains. Whenever I finish, I look around, feeling so lucky that I can see these gorgeous places—and that I found something that makes me feel this way.
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CREATIVE
PHOTOGRAPH BY Jimmy Chin
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Glennon with Oprah at her home in Santa Barbara.
PHOTOGRAPH BY Rob Howard
What happened when Glennon Doyle Melton got knocked down by some devastating news? Instead of giving up, she rose up. That makes her a Love Warrior—and it’s why her new memoir is Oprah’s latest book club pick.
BEING HUMAN, we are all alike in at least this respect: On any given day, we’re just trying to do the best we can. Too often we forget that and don’t forgive ourselves for our mistakes, or forgive others for their betrayals, large or small. And we think we’re alone in our pain. For months I’d been hearing from friends and colleagues about Glennon Doyle Melton— how she was a truth teller, someone who had helped countless people through her online community, Momastery, and in her work with Together Rising, the nonprofit she founded to serve people who need help getting through hard times. SuperSoulers like Elizabeth Gilbert, Brené Brown, and Rob Bell were using words like epic to describe her work. I was eager to find out what all the fuss was about, so I settled in with an advance copy of Love Warrior, Glennon’s second book. Immediately, I was struck by her candor. It was as if I’d been given access to a friend’s intimate journal. Glennon hit rock bottom 14 years ago—or so she thought. She was so hung over, she couldn’t pick herself up off the bathroom floor. Suspecting alcohol wasn’t the only reason for her nausea, she took a pregnancy test. It was positive. Only a few months earlier, she’d had an abortion. She was still seeing the same guy, Craig, though they hadn’t thought of the relationship as serious. But that day, Glennon felt something shift inside her. “What happens next,” she writes of that moment, “does not feel like a decision, but a discovery.... I will have this baby.” OPRAH.COM
Glennon had begun numbing herself as a young girl. She overate, which satisfied her momentarily, then disgusted her. That led to bulimia. In high school, right before the homecoming parade, where she was being honored for leadership, she was hospitalized for her eating disorder—and released in time to ride in the parade. At college, Glennon resumed her self-destructive behavior, regularly drinking so much that she’d black out and doing cocaine. After graduation, the attempts to escape herself—to escape feeling—continued. But it wasn’t until that day on the cold tile floor that Glennon realized there was something she wanted more than numbness: motherhood. She cleaned up her act and got sober. Glennon married Craig, had the first of their three children, and became involved in her church, teaching Sunday school. She started blogging and wrote her first book. But she was still hiding. From intimacy. From the possibility of being hurt. Then came another wake-up call. More on that in a moment. First, though, let me tell you how Love Warrior made me feel. I read it as a testament to the power of vulnerability. Through it, Glennon shows us the clearest meaning of “To thine own self be true.” It’s as if she reached into her heart, captured the raw emotions there, and translated them into words that anyone who’s ever known pain or shame—in other words, every human on the planet—can relate to. She’s bravely put everything on the table for the whole world to see. That’s why I had to share her book with you.
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GDM: The things that can’t be taken from you: faith, hope, love. And that’s when fear disappears.
OPRAH: There’s so much I want to say to you that I’m not sure where to begin. We’re just meeting for the first time, but reading Love Warrior made me feel I know you. GLENNON DOYLE MELTON: And I’ve loved you for so long! OW: From the outside looking in, people thought you and your family were perfect. And then boom: You found out your husband was keeping porn on the family computer and had been having one-night stands for years. GDM: Yes, there was the part of me on the outside, the pretty, shiny part. I’m out there saying the things I’m supposed to: “I’m fine.” “My marriage is great.” “My kids are great.” “I’m fulfilled.” It’s like a Disney film. OW: And what’s on the inside? GDM: Inside I’m scared, lonely, and confused. OW: You’ve said that, especially when it comes to little girls, the world doesn’t want to see the ugly, afraid, secret version of who we really are. GDM: Absolutely. We’re told that to be successful girls, we have to be small and quiet. Yet to be successful humans, we have to become big and have a voice. There’s an inherent contradiction. And there’s something else: People need truth the way they need air. They’re desperate for it. Even when you risk rejection, telling your truth clears the field for others to tell theirs. OW: Before you learned of your husband’s infidelity, you’d been feeling a lack of intimacy and connection, and blaming yourself for it, right? GDM: We were in therapy, and I thought we were going to talk about something mundane. And then Craig made a confession: I have to tell you something. I’ve been unfaithful. There have been other women—lots of them. OW: And what are you feeling then? GDM: Landslide. Like everything is being pulled out from under me. We separated that day. I felt like someone had handed me an eviction notice from my life. That’s what crisis does. It comes into your life, and you have to watch everything you thought you needed fall away. OW: Yes, but then what’s left?
From top: Glennon helping her sister prepare for her seventhgrade dance; in her college partying days; with Craig on their wedding day; nine months pregnant; working in the “cloffice” where she wrote Love Warrior.
a mom and a wife and a writer, and those things were good. If you ask a woman who she is, she’ll tell you who she serves and sometimes what she does. But that isn’t the whole story. OW: Mm-hmm. GDM: That’s a precarious position. If you’re only identifying as a wife, what happens if he leaves? Or as a mother, when your children go off to college? When crisis came in and stripped me of that perfect-mom-and-wife thing, I found a truer identity—I no longer felt I was faking it. OW: So that loss, that grief, eventually enabled you to feel stronger. GDM: I really think things have to die for new life to emerge. I think of love and marriage in the same way I do plants: We have perennials and annuals. The perennial plant blooms, goes away, and comes back. The annual blooms for just a season, and then winter arrives and takes it out for good. But it’s still enriched the soil for the next flower to bloom. In the same way, no love is wasted. OW: If you’ve had love in your life, however it showed up, it was there to elevate you, to change you, to make you better. GDM: That’s exactly right. OW: What are you most proud of now? GDM: My sobriety. For the first half of my life, I was so afraid of pain that I ran from it in every way I could. I didn’t think I could handle it. Now I think of pain as having life-changing properties. When I was 10, I started feeling uncomfortable emotions. Fear. Jealousy. Anger. Loneliness. This wasn’t in keeping with the pretty little girl everyone found adorable, or with my comfy childhood, including the most loving parents imaginable. But because we are encouraged to talk about only the shiny, happy feelings, I thought something was wrong with me. I didn’t know this was just a natural part of being human. OW: Everybody runs away from those feelings. We should be running toward them. GDM: Pain is mandatory for all of us. It’s what teaches us. Suffering is what’s optional. That’s what happens when we try to skip over the pain. OW: Shortly after the Oprah show went national, I got a letter from an Ann Arbor, Michigan, viewer named Carol. She wrote: “Watching you be yourself every day, Oprah, makes me want to be more myself.” Since that was what I strove to do every time I went in front of an audience, I took that as the ultimate compliment. And Glennon, that’s what you do for me. You make me want to share my truth. You make me want to be more myself. Thank you.
COURTESY OF GLENNON DOYLE MELTON (5)
OW: Down there at rock bottom. GDM: Yes—rock bottom is an identity changer. I was
AT ONE TIME or another in our lives, we all face crises. These may be minor dustups that feel major as we’re going through them, or they may be moments of true devastation, crossroads that will redefine us. How do we prepare to face these challenges? How do we do the work necessary to engage in the parts of life that are “brutiful”—the term Glennon uses for the simultaneous brutality and beauty of our darkest times—with honesty, authenticity, courage, and integrity? The first step is to identify the crutches we lean on when the going gets tough and pinpoint how they may be stunting our emotional growth.
When do you offload hurt in this way?
Glennon and Brené collaborating on their new
Dare to Dig In Two powerhouses in the O universe team up on an e-course designed to change your life.
KARA TRAIL/MIROMA PHOTOGRAPHY
WHEN GLENNON DOYLE MELTON, author of the newest Oprah’s Book Club pick, Love Warrior, hit rock bottom once again, she realized she couldn’t keep avoiding her real problems—it was time to deal with the core issues that had plagued her for decades. Similarly, writer and social scientist Brené Brown has long been guided by these words from her Texas grandmother: “You can’t run from trouble. Ain’t no place that far.” Brené’s most recent book, Rising Strong, is a powerful antidote to the human tendency to bury our heads in the sand. So it’s kismet that Brené and Glennon found each other and collaborated on a project that turbocharges the idea that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Working together, the two devised a blueprint, a step-by-step plan to help people improve their lives by taking charge of their life stories. The resulting e-course, The Wisdom of Story, debuts September 12. Want a jump start? Here’s an exclusive worksheet to help you get going. IF YOU’D LIKE TO MEET GLENNON in person, catch her Together Tour in the following cities: Portland, Oregon, September 28; Los Angeles, October 4; Chicago, October 6; Brooklyn, October 17; Atlanta, October 19; Denver, October 24.
The following behaviors are what Glennon and Brené call offloading devices, the easy buttons we push instead of acknowledging we’re in pain. Here are some questions to help you think about which ones you’ve engaged in and consider how that played out. These examples will get you started:
With whom do you act this way?
ANGER Is it easier for you to get mad and lash out than to say “I’m hurt”?
BLAME When a challenging situation arises, do you jump right to faultfinding, payback, or pointing the finger at anyone in your path instead of looking within?
What is one strategy you can use to stop offloading hurt and start owning your feelings?
AVOIDANCE When your emotions start to bubble up in a conflict, is your reflex to respond, “Whatever. I’m fine. No big deal”? Have you perfected the art of cool, pretending all’s well when it’s really not?
NUMBING Do you regularly take the edge off emotional pain with alcohol, food, drugs, sex, shopping, perfectionism?
Which of the offloading-hurt behaviors do you find yourself using most?
Glennon and Brené’s four-part e-course can be found on courageworks.com. For 20 percent off, use promo code OMAG����.
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Does it feel a little uncomfortable to look back on that time you expressed extreme road rage with a coworker as witness? Or after that bad day at the office when you let loose on your unsuspecting spouse? Or when you got your 401(k) statement and saw that all your borrowing had left it nearly empty? In this case, discomfort is good! It brings you one step closer to understanding how being truthful about your own story—and sharing it with others—can be transformative. With assistance from Glennon and Brené, you can find a new level of comfort, one born of knowing you haven’t run from trouble—you took it on, and it made you stronger and braver.
Puff Love A chill-busting puffer can be sophisticated, too! “Puffers are unbeatable for warmth,” says O creative director Adam Glassman. “For the most streamlined silhouette, look for longer lengths, neutral colors, and styles that aren’t overly stuffed.” Coat, Topshop, $210. Sweater, TSE, $995. Skirt, TSE, $495. Boots, Dune London, $190.
Coat, Lands’ End, $169. Poncho, L.K.Bennett, $595. Sweater, Rag & Bone, $395. Skirt, Wilfred for Aritzia, $65. Boots, Chloe Gosselin, $1,225.
Give a warm welcome to fabulous coats and brilliant boots that will keep you stylishly toasty all season. PHOTOGRAPHS BY SERGIO KURHAJEC
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STILLS: KEVIN SWEENEY/STUDIO D. STYLIST: ANITA SALERNO/R.J. BENNETT REPRESENTS. BACKGROUNDS: GETTY IMAGES (6); “OPPOSITES ATTRACT,” WILLIAM MORAN/GALLERY STOCK.
Three-Part Harmony Mixing a trio of textures—like this plush jacket and tweed skirt, plus velvet stretch booties—gives your look depth and interest. Jacket, J.O.A., $128. Sweater, Talbots, $299. Skirt, Monique Lhuillier. Boots, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $695. O CTOBER 2016
Shear Bliss “Spend more on long-lasting fabrics,” says Adam. “Shearling is investment-worthy and never goes out of style.” If your closet is full of black, try a merlot. The rich wine hue is the toast of the season—and looks good on all. Shearling coat, Sandro, $2,860. Dress, Jessica Simpson Collection, $60. Boots, JustFab, $40.
Great Lengths A long, sweeping coat that hits just above your ankles adds the illusion of extra height (so it wonâ€™t swallow a petite frame) and lets you show off ferocious footwear. Coat, Talbots, $599. Sweater, Jonathan Simkhai, $345. Skirt, Jonathan Simkhai, $385. Boots, Ann Taylor, $228.
Pump Up the Volume Why not trade your same old peacoat for something with a bit more panache? Belt an oversize, shawl-collar style at the waist to create an hourglass shape. And for a fresh, modern look, throw on cognac over-the-knee boots. Coat, AYR, $395. Sweater, Closed, $422. Skirt, Club Monaco, $325. Boots, Aquazzura, $1,150. OPRAH.COM
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Opposites Attract Strike the perfect balance of fierce and feminine by pairing a borrowed-from-the-boys coat with girlier pieces, such as a shaggy blush sweater or a flowing pleated skirt. Left: Coat, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $1,195. Sweater, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $1,095. Skirt, TSE, $995. Boots, Club Monaco, $495. Right: Coat, Oasis, $170. Sweater, Hilfiger Collection, $360. Skirt, Suno, $995. Socks, Gold Toe, $8. Boots, Donald J Pliner, $248.
Text: Nicole McGovern. Fashion stylist: Jarrod Lacks. Hair: Miok for Wella Professionals at Judy Casey Inc. Makeup: Hector Simancas using Diorskin Star at Factory Downtown. Manicures: Sheril Bailey using Dior Vernis at Jed Root. Prop stylist: Stockton Hall.
Faux Show Think you can’t pull off faux fur? Think again. This daring emerald topper pairs great with everything from your fanciest evening dress to a white blouse and cropped jeans. Jacket, Michael Michael Kors, $395. Blouse, Michael Michael Kors, $110. Jeans, NYDJ, $124. Boots, Ash, $298.
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Striking outerwear is a surefire way to make an entrance. “Think of a coat as an accessory that enhances—or even creates—an outfit,” says Adam. MENSWEAR
Structured shapes and sophisticated plaids feel preppy, not manly.
Give your wardrobe an instant shot of glam.
Donna Salyers’ Fabulous-Furs, $249; fabulousfurs.com
Isaac Mizrahi Live!, $150; qvc.com
Liz Claiborne, $200; jcpenney.com
We salute these camo prints and standout accents.
Revved-up details and zippers add an edgy feel to basic styles.
SIZES 14/16– 26/28
French Connection, $328; usa.frenchconnection.com
Tommy x Gigi Collection, $495; tommy.com
The classic with a twist is perfect over everything from jeans to dresses.
Fashion meets function in slimming puffer styles. UNDER $100
Nic + Zoe, $368; nicandzoe.com
Mossimo Supply Co., $40; target.com
Laundry by Shelli Segal, $300; shop.nordstrom.com
LONG AND SWEEPING
Add a little dramatic flair to your outfit with an effortlessly chic duster.
Warming trend: This supple material looks luxurious day or night.
TALL SIZES $325; canvasbylandsend.com
Curatd by Long Tall Sally, $345; longtallsally.com
Kobi Halperin, $698; Bloomingdale’s stores O CTOBER 2016
Guess, $178; shop.guess.com
H&M Studio, $399; hm.com
CUTE TO BOOT
Our favorite thing about chillier temps? A new crop of fall footwear. Whether you prefer tall or short, statement or simple, high heels or flats, these boots will elevate your autumn wardrobe.
Gallop into the season with the equestrian look.
A lined option will warm your soles stylishly.
Vionic, $160; vionicshoes.com
Clarks, $180; clarksusa.com
Marc Fisher LTD, $199; marcfisherfootwear.com
Bernardo, $475; bernardo1946.com
Delman, $498; delmanshoes.com
OVER THE KNEE
Slip them on with your cold-weather uniform of leggings and a tunic sweater.
These casually cool boots are made for walking.
UNDER $100 UNDER $100
Unisa, $80; dsw.com
Sarto Franco Sarto, $169; nordstrom.com
Coconuts by Matisse, $80; matissefootwear.com
White House Black Market, $298; whbm.com
The goes-with-everything color complements fall’s warm, earthy shades.
These sock-bootie hybrids make your ankles look slender.
WIDTHS UNDER $100
Aldo, $130; aldoshoes.com
Let your feet do the talking in a dare-to-be-different style.
Subtle metal accents amp up traditional boots.
Kate Spade New York, $425; katespade.com O CTOBER 2016
Celebrate Fall with M&M’S® Chocolate Candies.
®/TM trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2014
ÂŠ 2016 Kraft Foods
Thereâ€™s Nothing Artificial in Mmmmm, Either.
No artificial preservatives or flavors. Always made with milk.
Let’s Eat! SOOTHING SOUP PERFECT PASTRIES
Your Cooking Questions, ANSWERED! Seven delicious solutions to your kitchen challenges. PHOTOGRAPHS BY Linda Xiao
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Get the Skinny
ON THE FAT Contrary to popular belief, the type of fat consumed is often more important than the total amount, according to Health.gov. That’s why it’s so important to educate yourself about the different kinds of fat.
Although it has gotten a bad reputation for causing weight gain, some fat is needed to provide energy.1
Our bodies naturally produce enough, so there’s no real dietary need for these solid fats, like butter and shortening.2
While all fats provide the same amount of calories per gram, consider replacing saturated with unsaturated fats, like olive, peanut and canola oil.3
WHAT DOES SMART ONES OFFER? Did you know Smart Ones features a variety of meals with less than 5g of fat and 1.5g of saturated fat per serving? Now that’s eating smart. Find more products and information on EatYourBest.com
*health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2010/DietaryGuidelines2010.pdf 1mckinley.illinois.edu/handouts/macronutrients.htm, ncbi. nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20329590 2mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/fat/art-20045550 3 heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/FatsAndOils/Fats101_UCM_304494_Article.jsp
FAT PER SERVING
FAT PER SERVING
2g FAT PER SERVING
Weight Watchers® Smart Ones® Enjoy the journey with smart, flavorful meals that help keep you on track. WEIGHT WATCHERS on foods and beverages is the registered trademark of WW Foods, LLC. WEIGHT WATCHERS for services is the registered trademark of Weight Watchers International, Inc. SmartPoints is the trademark of Weight Watchers International, Inc. Trademarks are used under license by Kraft Heinz Foods Company. © 2016 H.J. Heinz Company Brands LLC. © 2016 Weight Watchers International, Inc. All rights reserved.
A: Chef Marcus Samuelsson, author of The Red Rooster Cookbook, splits the chicken and pan-sears it with a cast-iron skillet on top. “The extra weight presses it onto the pan,” he says. “That makes the skin crispy—and for me, chicken’s all about the skin.”
Iron-Pressed Chicken MAKES 4 SERVINGS ACTIVE TIME: 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME: 2 HOURS 10 MINUTES
1 (3�/�-pound) chicken Leaves from 2 sage sprigs 1 Tbsp. kosher salt Juice of 1 lemon 3 Tbsp. grapeseed oil
2. In a large, heavy skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Remove chicken from marinade and pat completely dry, then set in skillet, skin side down. Wrap the bottom of a cast-iron skillet with aluminum foil and set it on chicken. Cook 25 minutes. Remove cast-iron skillet, turn chicken over, and cook until the internal temperature of the thickest part of the thigh registers 165°, about 20 minutes. 3. Let chicken rest 10 minutes, then cut into quarters and serve.
A: The best homey fare has warmth, familiarity—and cheese. “This gooey crouton stack is where it all comes together,” says chef Ashley Christensen, whose new cookbook, Poole’s, is named for her North Carolina diner.
Caramelized Onion–Tomato Soup with Jarlsberg Croutons MAKES 6 SERVINGS ACTIVE TIME: 45 MINUTES TOTAL TIME: 2 HOURS
SOUP ½ cup olive oil 6 garlic cloves, crushed 2 (28-ounce) cans diced organic tomatoes 2 Tbsp. sea salt, divided 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil 2 pounds yellow onions (8 to 10 medium), halved and thinly sliced (about 6 cups) 4 cups dry white wine, such as Chablis ¼ cup white wine vinegar 6 or 7 tarragon sprigs 1 Tbsp. whole grain mustard CROUTONS 1 Tbsp. vegetable oil ½ small baguette, sliced into ¼"-thick slices 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter ½ cup grated Jarlsberg (or any other nutty, melty cheese, such as Gruyère) 1. In a large Dutch oven, add olive oil and garlic. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until garlic is toasted, about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes and 2 tsp. salt and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cook until tomatoes fall apart, 45 minutes.
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2. Meanwhile, in a deep sauté pan, heat vegetable oil over medium heat. Add onions and 2 tsp. salt. Increase heat to high, stirring frequently. After 1 minute, reduce heat to medium and cook, covered, for 20 minutes. Remove cover and cook, stirring, until onions are deep brown, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer caramelized onions to a bowl and set aside; return pan to high heat. 3. Add wine, vinegar, and tarragon to pan. Cook until liquid is thick and syrupy, about 45 minutes. Add 6 cups water and bring to a boil, then remove from heat. 4. Strain tarragon infusion into stewed tomato mixture and discard solids. Stir in reserved onions, mustard, and 2 tsp. salt. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cook 20 minutes. 5. Meanwhile, make croutons: In a large skillet over high heat, heat oil. When it shimmers, add baguette slices in an even layer; when they begin to turn golden on the bottom, add butter, reduce heat to medium, and swirl to coat. Fry until dark golden brown on one side, 3 to 4 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate. 6. Preheat broiler. In each of 6 ovenproof soup bowls, stack 3 croutons, placing a pinch of cheese between each layer. Ladle soup around crouton stacks to fill bowls. Sprinkle a last pinch of cheese in the center of each bowl. Place bowls under broiler and cook until cheese is melted and bubbling, 2 to 3 minutes. Serve immediately.
PROP STYLIST: COURTNEY DE WET. FOOD STYLIST: REBECCA JURKEVICH. HAND LETTERING: JOEL HOLLAND.
1. Place chicken on a cutting board, breast side down. Using kitchen shears, cut along the left and right sides of backbone to remove it; discard or save for stock. Turn chicken over and press down to crack breastbone and flatten chicken. Loosen chicken skin and slide sage leaves underneath, along the thigh and breast. Season all over with salt and place in a 1-gallon ziplock bag. Pour in 2 cups water and lemon juice and seal bag, squeezing out air. Leave bag on counter to marinate for 1 hour, turning over after 30 minutes.
com A: “Thanks to all the butter it contains, you can pretty much bake piecrust forever and it won’t burn,” says Molly Yeh, author of the new cookbook Molly on the Range. So don’t worry if you pull these savory rolled pastries out of the oven a little late; they’ll still look and taste delicious. And Yeh’s shortcut— store-bought dough—makes assembling these snacks as easy as, well, pie.
Turshen has more great ideas for arugula—and scallions, too: Visit oprah.com⁄greens for her Arugula and Walnut Pesto and Roasted Scallion and Chive Dip recipes.
Spinach and Feta Rugelach MAKES 16 RUGELACH ACTIVE TIME: 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME: 45 MINUTES
10 ounces frozen chopped spinach 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter 1 small onion, finely chopped Kosher salt 2 to 4 garlic cloves, minced ¼ tsp. ground black pepper 2 Tbsp. all-purpose flour 3 Tbsp. heavy cream ¾ cup chopped feta 1 tsp. lemon juice A few shakes of hot sauce 1 (9" to 10") piecrust, store-bought or homemade 1 egg yolk with a splash of water, lightly beaten Flaky sea salt 1. Preheat oven to 425°. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Set spinach on a plate at room temperature to soften slightly.
2. In a large pot, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion and a pinch of kosher salt. Cook, stirring often, until onion is soft and translucent, 5 to 7 minutes. Add garlic and pepper and cook until fragrant, 1 minute. Add flour and stir to combine, then stir in heavy cream. Roughly chop spinach and stir into pot with a pinch of kosher salt. Cook, stirring, until spinach is heated through and ingredients are combined. Stir in feta, lemon juice, and hot sauce and remove from heat. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired. 3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out half the dough into a ¼"-thick round. Spread half the spinach mixture in an even layer. Using a pizza cutter or a knife, cut dough into 8 wedges. Roll up each section, starting at the wide end, to create a crescent shape. On prepared baking sheets, place rugelach 1" apart. Repeat with remaining dough and filling. 4. Lightly brush tops of rugelach with egg wash and sprinkle with sea salt. 5. Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes. Let cool slightly and serve.
Q: WHAT CAN I DO WITH WILTED SALAD GREENS? A: “A lot!” says Julia Turshen, whose new cookbook is Small Victories. “When freshness is no longer on your side, don’t fight it. Wilt your greens even more and transform them into something entirely new.” For this single-skillet dish, she sautés lettuce with smoky, salty bacon and sweet caramelized onions.
Wilted Lettuce with Bacon and Onion MAKES 4 SERVINGS TOTAL TIME: 25 MINUTES
¼ pound bacon (about 4 slices), chopped 1 small yellow onion, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided ¼ tsp. ground black pepper ¾ pound (about 6 cups) hearty lettuce or salad greens, such as romaine, escarole, or arugula, roughly chopped ½ lemon Cooked white or brown rice, for serving 1. In a large skillet, cook bacon over mediumhigh heat, stirring occasionally, until just crisp, 6 to 8 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer to a paper towel–lined plate; return skillet to heat. 2. Add onion, ½ tsp. salt, and pepper and cook, stirring, until golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add lettuce and remaining ½ tsp. salt and cook, tossing, until wilted, about 1 minute for romaine or 2 to 4 minutes for escarole or arugula. 3. Transfer wilted lettuce and onion to a large platter, top with bacon, and squeeze lemon over top. Serve immediately, spooned over rice.
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“It’s cool the label says, ‘100% Premium Pork. Naturally Smoked. No Fillers.’ And I can look at it in the store and say to myself, ‘I made that!’”
© 2016 Johnsonville Sausage, LLC. Learn more about our family-owned company at Johnsonville.com.
It’s time to take your standard dinner fare to the next level with Johnsonville® Sausages. Think mac and cheese is just for the kids? Think again. Try this delicious Grown-Up Mac and Cheese recipe. It’s so good you won’t want to share!
G r o w n -U p M a c a n d C h ees e SERVINGS: 5 PREP: 10 mins COOK: 25 mins INGREDIENTS: 2 cups uncooked whole-grain elbow macaroni 2 tbsp olive oil 3 tbsp butter WEVS RXU 1 cup fat-free milk 1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 tbsp chopped parsley 8 oz processed American cheese, cubed 1 link (half of 13.5-oz package) Johnsonville® Smoked or Three Cheese Italian Style Sausage, quartered and sliced
DIRECTIONS: 1. Cook macaroni according to package directions; drain. 2. Mix panko breadcrumbs, parsley, and olive oil together in a bowl. 3. Meanwhile, in another saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. 4. Stir RXU LQWR PHOWHG EXWWHU XQWLO VPRRWK JUDGXDOO\ whisk in milk. 5. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. 6. Add cheese; cook and stir until melted. 7. Stir in macaroni and sausage. 8. Spread panko breadcrumb mixture on top and bake at 350°F for 25 minutes. Discover more decadent dinner recipes at Johnsonville.com/recipes
A: “In a world of paleo, vegan, and eat-anything diets, my solution is to start with a gluten-free base,” says Danny Seo, author of the new cookbook Naturally, Delicious. “This paella lets you customize the proteins to suit whoever’s coming to dinner.”
Saffron Cauliflower-Rice Paella MAKES 4 TO 6 SERVINGS TOTAL TIME: 40 TO 50 MINUTES
1 (2-pound) head cauliflower, trimmed and cut into small florets (7 to 8 cups) 2 to 4 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil 1 pound mixed meat or seafood, such as pound Spanish chorizo, sliced, and pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into 1" chunks; or pound large shrimp (about 8), peeled and deveined, and pound mussels, scrubbed and rinsed 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 small yellow onion, diced 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped 1 (14.5-ounce) can whole tomatoes, with juice, crushed by hand 1 cups vegetable stock tsp. saffron threads 1 cup frozen peas, thawed cup finely chopped flat-leaf parsley 2 lemons, cut into wedges
1. Using a food processor fitted with a metal blade, pulse cauliflower in batches until reduced to the size of large grains; you should have about 4 packed cups. Set aside. 2. If using meat: In a large, deep skillet, heat 2 Tbsp. oil over medium-high heat. Add chorizo and cook until sizzling and golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Add chicken and continue to cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown and just cooked through, 6 to 8 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer chorizo and chicken to a large plate; set aside. 3. Return skillet to medium-high heat. (If using seafood, heat 4 Tbsp. oil in skillet.) Add cauliflower and salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 5 minutes. Add onion and cook, scraping up any browned bits, until soft and translucent, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook 1 minute more. Stir in tomatoes, stock, and saffron and bring just to a boil. 4. Scatter chorizo and chicken over top of skillet contents. (If using seafood, arrange raw mussels and shrimp over top.) Reduce heat to medium, cover, and cook until thickened and fragrant (or, if using seafood, until mussels have opened and shrimp is just cooked through), about 5 minutes. (Discard any unopened mussels.) 5. Stir in peas and parsley and serve immediately, with lemon wedges on the side.
Q: I’M LOOKING FOR AN EASY DESSERT KIDS AND ADULTS WILL LOVE. A: A surprising ingredient gives Better Baking author Genevieve Ko’s goto cake the same fluffiness you’d get from a box mix, plus a wholesome flavor boost: zucchini. “Zucchini pairs well with chocolate and makes cake really moist,” says Ko. Her frosting owes its richness to another stealth veggie, sweet potato, which has a satisfying finish “somewhere between caramel and butterscotch” when baked. Her kids’ classmates— and teachers—are smitten.
School Party Sheet Cake MAKES 1 (9" X 13") CAKE ACTIVE TIME: 35 MINUTES TOTAL TIME: 1 HOUR 30 MINUTES
CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI CAKE Nonstick cooking spray 1 pound (about 4 small) zucchini, trimmed 2 cups white whole wheat flour cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1 tsp. cinnamon 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. baking powder
tsp. salt cups sugar 1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature cup grapeseed or other neutral oil 3 large eggs, at room temperature 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
3. In a large bowl, sift flour, cocoa powder, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In a medium bowl, whisk sugar, buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla until very smooth. Make a well in dry ingredients and pour in wet ingredients. Whisk, gradually drawing in dry ingredients, until smooth. Using a silicone spatula, fold in zucchini and chocolate chips until evenly incorporated. Spread batter in an even layer in prepared pan.
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips SWEET POTATO FROSTING 1 (15-ounce) can pure sweet potato puree 10 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (55 to 60 percent cacao), finely chopped (1 / cups) 1. To make cake: Position a rack in the center of oven and preheat to 325°. Coat a 9"x 13" cake pan or dish with cooking spray. If using a metal pan, line bottom and sides with foil or parchment paper and spray again. 2. Set a box grater on paper towels and grate zucchini on large holes. Spread grated zucchini on paper towels, top with more paper towels, and press gently to remove excess moisture.
A: Sandwich together mini Bundt cakes to make adorable pumpkin-shaped desserts with a surprise chocolaty center. “I love pairing things that are a little unexpected,” says Elise Strachan, creator of the online baking show “My Cupcake Addiction” and author of the forthcoming cookbook Sweet! Celebrations. “Plus, filling anything with chocolate just makes it more delicious.” For Halloween, Strachan uses candy melts to turn her cakes into jack-o’-lanterns.
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4. Bake cake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and cake top springs back slightly when pressed with a fingertip, 45 to 50 minutes. Let cool completely in pan on a rack. 5. Meanwhile, make frosting: In a large saucepan, bring sweet potato puree to a simmer over medium heat, stirring frequently. Remove from heat and add chocolate. Stir until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until mixture is at room temperature; it should form soft peaks but not be stiff. Spread frosting over cooled cake. Serve immediately or store in refrigerator, covered, up to 3 days.
com For Strachan’s Chocolate-Filled “Pumpkin” Cakes recipe, go to oprah.com⁄ falldessert.
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Oprah Fall 2016 Beauty O-Wards Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Hearst Communications, Inc. Beginning September 13, 2016, at 12:01 A.M. (ET) through October 10, 2016, at 11:59 P.M. (ET) (the “Entry Period”), go to oprah.com/fallbeautyowards on a computer or wireless device and complete and submit the entry form pursuant to the onscreen instructions. Important Notice: You may be charged for visiting the mobile website in accordance with the terms of your service agreement with your carrier. Odds of winning will depend upon the total number of eligible entries received. Prizes & Approximate Retail Value (“ARV”): Four (4) Winner(s) will receive a Prize Package consisting of (i) a collection of makeup from the Oprah Fall Beauty O-Wards 2016 Sweepstakes (ARV: $2,762); and (ii) a $828 gift check, which Winners may use, if they so elect, to help defray any tax liability they may incur in connection with their acceptance of the Prize Package. Approximate retail value of each Prize Package is $3,590 per winner. Total ARV of all four (4) Prize Packages is $14,360. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia who are 21 years or older at time of entry. Void in Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law. Sweepstakes subject to complete official rules, available at oprah.com/fallbeautyowards. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Talbots Sweepstakes. Sponsored by Hearst Communications, Inc. Beginning September 6, 2016, at 12:01 A.M. (ET) through October 10, 2016, at 11:59 P.M. (ET), go to oprah.com/talbotssweeps on a computer or wireless device and complete the entry form pursuant to the onscreen instructions. Five (5) winners will each receive a $1,000 Talbots gift card. Total ARV: $5,000. Important Notice: You may be charged for visiting the mobile website in accordance with the terms of your service agreement with your carrier. Odds of winning will depend upon the total number of eligible entries received. Must have reached the age of majority and be a legal resident of the 50 United States, the District of Columbia, or Canada (excluding Quebec). Void in Puerto Rico and where prohibited by law. Sweepstakes subject to complete official rules available at oprah.com/talbotssweeps.
(All prices are approximate.) COVER On Oprah: Day: Sweater, H&M Studio, $70; hm.com. Earrings, Jill Heller, $2,500; jillhellerjewelry.com. Night: Cardigan, Marc Jacobs, $537; 877-551-7257. Earrings, Amrapali; amrapalijewels.com. Rings (from left): Eva Fehren, $4,620 and $8,995; 212-206-1272. (Top) $4,900; hstern.net. Nina Runsdorf, $12,800; 888563-6858. Eva Fehren, $4,895; twistonline.com. HAUTE COLD PAGE Coat, $210; topshop.com. Sweater, TSE, $995; tsecashmere .com. Skirt, TSE, $495; tsecashmere.com. Boots, $190; dunelondon.com. PAGE Coat, $169; landsend.com. Poncho, L.K.Bennett, $595; us.lkbennett.com. Sweater, Rag & Bone, $395; Rag & Bone stores. Skirt, Wilfred for Aritzia, $65; aritzia.com. Boots, $1,225; chloegosselin.com. PAGE Jacket, J.O.A., $128; asos.com. Sweater, $299; talbots.com. Skirt, $2,695; moniquelhuillier.com. Boots, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $695; 31philliplim.com. PAGE Shearling coat,
Sandro, $2,860; us.sandro-paris.com. Dress, Jessica Simpson Collection, $60; jessicasimpson.com. Boots, $40; justfab.com. PAGE Coat, $599; talbots.com. Sweater, Jonathan Simkhai, $345; fwrd.com. Skirt, Jonathan Simkhai, $385; saksfifthavenue.com. Boots, $228; anntaylor.com. PAGE Coat, $395; ayr.com. Sweater, $422; closed.com. Skirt, $325; clubmonaco.com. Boots, $1,150; aquazzura.com/en. PAGE Left: Coat, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $1,195; 31philliplim.com. Sweater, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $1,095; 31philliplim.com. Skirt, TSE, $995; tsecashmere.com. Boots, $495; clubmonaco.com. Right: Coat, Oasis, $170; oasis-stores.com. Sweater, Hilfiger Collection, $360; 212-223-1824. Skirt, Suno, $995; sunony.com. Socks, $8.50; goldtoe.com. Boots, $248; donaldjpliner.com. PAGE Jacket, Michael Michael Kors, $395; michaelkors.com. Blouse, Michael Michael Kors, $110; michaelkors.com. Jeans, $124; nydj.com. Boots, Ash, $298; shopbop.com.
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O, The Oprah Magazine (ISSN 1531-3247) is published monthly, 12 times a year, by Hearst Communications, Inc., 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019, U.S.A. Steven R. Swartz, President and Chief Executive Officer; William R. Hearst III, Chairman; Frank A. Bennack, Jr., Executive Vice Chairman; Catherine A. Bostron, Secretary. Hearst Magazines Division: David Carey, President; John A. Rohan, Jr., Senior Vice President, Finance. © 2016 by Hearst Communications, Inc. All rights reserved. O, The Oprah Magazine is a registered trademark of Harpo Print, LLC. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY, and additional entry post offices. Canada Post International Publications mail product (Canadian distribution) sales agreement no. 40012499. Editorial and Advertising Offices: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019-3797. Subscription prices: United States and possessions: $28 for one year. Canada and all other countries: $50 for one year. Subscription Services: O, The Oprah Magazine will, upon receipt of a complete subscription order, undertake fulfillment of that order so as to provide the first copy for delivery by the Postal Service or alternate carrier within four to six weeks. For customer service, changes of address, and subscription orders, log on to service.theoprahmag.com or write to Customer Service Department, O, The Oprah Magazine, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. Due to the high volume of submissions, the publisher cannot accept or return unsolicited manuscripts or art. Canada BN NBR 10231 0943 RT. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 707.4.12.5.) Nonpostal and military facilities: Please send address changes to O, The Oprah Magazine, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. Printed in the U.S.A. From time to time, we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such offers via postal mail, please send your current mailing label or an exact copy to Mail Preference Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593. You can also visit http://hearst.ed4.net/profile/login.cfm to manage your preferences and opt out of receiving marketing offers by email.
SERGIO KURHAJEC. FASHION STYLIST: JARROD LACKS. HAIR: MIOK FOR WELLA PROFESSIONALS/JUDY CASEY INC. MAKEUP: HECTOR SIMANCAS USING DIORSKIN STAR AT FACTORY DOWNTOWN. MANICURES: SHERIL BAILEY AT JED ROOT. PROP STYLIST: STOCKTON HALL. BACKGROUND: MINT IMAGES/GALLERY STOCK.
Feeling the warmth at our fashion photo shoot on the South Shore of Long Island. Check out all the great coats and boots we found in “Haute & Cold,” page 144. Coat, Tenby, $850; tenbynyc.com. Jacket, Elizabeth and James, $295; net-aporter.com. Dress, 3.1 Phillip Lim, $995; 31philliplim.com. Boots, $740; dearfrances.com.
W hat I Know for Sure
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THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME AND KNOW THIS MAGAZINE have for years heard me speak about leading with your truth. Living authentically is the only way to lasting happiness. This I know for sure. That’s why I feel such deep kinship with Glennon Doyle Melton, best-selling author, wildly popular blogger, and writer of my latest book club selection. (You can read more about the book starting on page 140.) Glennon wants to shout it from the mountaintops: Sharing the truth of your life—the whole truth, including the good, the not so good, and the completely messed-up stuff that leaves you crying on the floor—is the key to unlocking a genuine spiritual connection with the people around you. She’s gathered a tribe she calls Love Warriors, who believe “the only way to live peacefully is to forgive everyone constantly, including yourself.” This idea resonates so strongly with me. Because I, too, know that hanging on to resentment and grudges keeps you locked in the past. Even when people do or say things that are less than kind, even when you know you got the short end of the stick, the only way forward is onward. Otherwise you get stuck. You stagnate in bad feelings. I try always to let my pain and disappointment be my teachers. In fact, I’ve learned my most soulful lessons from betrayal—from people who let me down, who acted one way to my face but very differently behind my back. From every disheartening experience, I’ve gained new insight. And a firmer resolve to see what I see and know what I know, for sure. That’s what it means to be a true Love Warrior. I wish it for you, too.
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“MY WISH IS TO BE A HOLLYWOOD STUNT DRIVER.”
Professional driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Prototype shown with options. Production model will vary. ©2016 Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
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