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The Tar Heel Woman A publication of the North Carolina Federation of Business and Professional Women’s Clubs, Inc. VOLUME





2013 – 2014 BPW/NC Leadership Team BPW/NC Executive Committee

Generate, Elevate and Motivate. Gem is a precious stone that stands for anything that is good. Generate is to increase our membership. Elevate is to acknowledge our members. Motivate members to be involved as we rebuild.

President’s Message, Mimi Zelman

President: Mimi Zelman President-Elect: Pat Sledge Vice President: Marsha Riibner Cady

Lots of great things are happening this year! Crystal Williams our Women Joining Forces Chair, proposed that we establish a grant for women veterans and this was approved at our last board meeting. So far due to moving left over money from the WPEA/BPW convention and an event that both Crystal and I had we have $1000 for the grant. A special thank you to Crystal’s husband Craig for sponsoring the food costs so all we collected could fund the grant! We will give two $500 grants at state convention in June. If you know a women veteran, please send her to our web site to apply. We also have bracelets for sale at $5.00 a piece that say “Women Joining Forces – Opening Doors. We will have them available at our WEE event. Our executive board under the direction of WEE co-chairs Mary Shelton Drum and Judy Smith have been busy planning our WEE event for the weekend of January 24 and 25. We have an excellent lineup of speakers and topics and we hope to help get you all to sparkle for the New Year!! We are holding it at our beautiful headquarters on Saturday and hope to see you all there!!!!

Treasurer: Gail Harper Secretary: Carol Ambrose Past State President Virginia Adamson Parliamentarian: Michelle Evans

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A HOLIDAY WISH LIST FOR BPW Pat Sledge, President Elect

BPW/NC Board of Directors Standing Committees Finance: Susan Benton Wilson Foundation BPW/NC: Varnell Kinnin Board of Trustees: Mary Alice Wells Governance: Virginia Adamson Membership: Linda Hardy Legislative: Pat Sledge Issues Management: Pat Sledge Public Relations: Lea-Ann Berst

Members across the state involved in making BPW the strongest organization for women in North Carolina. A contribution to our BPW NC Foundation from every member in the state to continue our mission of women helping women. A “Sold Out” sign for the Women Joining Forces, Closing Ranks, Opening Doors bracelets for the women’s veterans grant project. One new member for every renewing member and 100% retention of our current members. Women who follow the legislative issues affecting each of us, and take the time to know where their elected representative stand on them. Members willing to speak up for other women and children when they see something that is “just wrong”. Women who want to develop their leadership skills in the safe environment of BPW on the local and state level. Peace, Love and Harmony in a world filled with women working to make it a better place for all.

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WHY? Marsha Riibner Cady, BPW/NC Vice President Special Committee Chairs Awards: Mary Lou Babinski Hospitality Co-Chairs: Faye Painter Julie Tomkovick WEE: Mary Shelton Drum Judy Smith

The Virginia Dare BPW recently held its annual Symposium. This is the fundraiser for their scholarship. 68 women attended the Symposium. 60% were not members. Why? I joined VDBPW for selfish reasons. At the time I was the membership specialist for the Girl Scouts. I was looking for support for my cause. I was looking for volunteers, members, and donations. What I got was support for me. I got the opportunity to meet women who had interesting careers and life experiences. These club members were supportive of each other. They became my cheerleaders in everything I did, in my personal and professional life. My new network of fellow members have laughed at my stories and cried with me when my mother died. They have supported me through problems with my children and my job.

Nominating: Elva Graham

So back to my question, why? Why haven’t those 60% become members? Do they need to be asked personally? I’m sure I have done that. Is it an issue with cost? The membership fee is small compared to the Chamber of Commerce membership or the financial commitment for the Rotary. Do they not realize that we are a women’s organization? Women supporting women. Women networking with women. Women helping women succeed. We are here for women. We need those 60% to join us so we can network with them. How do we get them to join now?

State Conference: Andrea Buschur

I welcome your comments and feedback. Meanwhile, Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful holiday season.

Career Woman of the Year Elva Graham

Young Careerist: Elva Graham Tar Heel Editor: Rhonda Hunter

MEMBERSHIP Linda Hardy So What Can BPW Membership Do for Me?

Task Forces Women Joining Forces Chair: Crystal Williams

Sometimes when a prospective member is approached about BPW membership, she will ask what membership can do for her. It’s all well in good to talk about the advocacy for women’s issues, the scholarships, the community service, but it is also important to mention what an individual can get on a personal level. When I joined over thirty years ago, I was looking for a group of like-minded women in a new town. BPW gave me that sense of belonging and helped me meet some wonderful friends. The personal connections are still important, but now BPW offers so much more. There are networking and visibility opportunities, career advancement seminars, places to develop leadership skills, advocacy events, and the chance to participate in “women helping women” happenings through local and state activities. For more information on membership advantages, check out and click on “About BPW – Reasons to be a BPW Member”.

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INTERIM ACTIONS Carol Ambrose, Secretary June 21, 2013 Approved: Dispensed with reading the minutes of February 9, 2013 and the minutes of a called teleconference meeting of February 19, 2013 as they were posted on Yahoo Groups. Passed: The Board of Trustees recommended the following members to be elected to the 2013 -2015 Board of Trustees: Mary Alice Wells-Nashville, Helga Gutmann-Raleigh, and Mary Shelton Drum-Lincolnton. Approved: To amend the Handbook to add an item #16 to Chapter 2: “Duties of BPW/NC Officers and Parliamentarian”, subsection “Treasurer’s Duties” to read: Ensure that necessary Internal Revenue Service tax forms (990N or 990EZ) are filed on or before the fifteenth (15th) of the fifth (5th) month following fiscal year end of June 30 (i.e., November 15th). Approved: To retire and strike the Club Alignment award from the Established Awards section of the Handbook. Approved: To retire and the strike the Traveling Gavel award from the Established Awards section of the Handbook. Approved: To present the proposed budget to the Convention body. Approved: To present the proposed legislative platform to the Convention body. Approved: To present the Ratification of the ERA Resolution to the Convention body and to make a donation in the amount of $500 to help defray expenses for the Ratify ERA-NC organization. Approved: To amend the 2012-2013 budget to reallocate funds from the Legislative Chair, the Governance/SLRP Chair, the BPW/Foundation Chair, and the remainder of the WPEA Conference Expenses line items to create a new line item for a donation to the Ratify ERA-NC organization. Approved: To have the Federation Position Bond automatically drafted from the operating checking account.




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July 20, 2013 Approved: That we appoint Susan Benton Wilson to investigate tax consequences and action needed to develop the plans for a grant to support women veterans in conjunction with the Women Joining Forces Chair.

September 12, 2013 Approved: 1) that BPW/NC Federation partner with the Women's Forum of North Carolina in the publication of their 2013 version of the Boards and Commissions’ report and 2) that the Federation spread the information of the report to the membership and on our website and social media sites.

September 28, 2013 Approved: That we waive the reading of the Standing Rules of Order as they were read previously and disseminated to the group. Approved: That we dispense with the reading of the minutes of the July 20, 2013 meeting as they were posted on Yahoo Groups. Approved: That the Board of Directors approves the grant proposal for the Women Joining Forces as outlined by the Women Joining Forces chair. Approved: That the Governance Chair and the President execute the necessary paperwork with the Secretary of State’s Office to add a “doing business as” to “North Carolina Business & Professional Women’s Clubs.” Approved: That by direction of the Executive Committee, $500 from the funds left from the WPEA be moved to kick start the grant fund for Women Joining Forces. Approved: That the budget be amended to reallocate the Individual Development Program monies of $2000.00 to the Advertising/Marketing line items. Approved: That Elva Graham - Eastern Region and Virginia Adamson - Central Region serve on the Nominations Committee for 2014-2015 officers. Approved: That all the BPW/NC awards include email as an option to the application process and appropriate adjustments be made in the handbook. Approved: That the Elizabeth Woodward (Scrapbook) be retired June 30, 2014 and deleted from the handbook. Approved: That as no club bid to be host for the WEE event, the Executive Committee act as host. Approved: That the dates for the WEE Event be moved to January 24 and January 25, 2014.

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WEE Mary Shelton Drum & Judy Smith

What does every business and professional woman want? The support and resources to grow in her career and in her business. That's why the Business and Professional Women's organization annually offers the Women Empowered and Enlightened (WEE) event. Celebrating our 95th year and celebrating YOU! We will be learning, getting inspired, and celebrating all at once! This year's WEE event promises to provide an excellent blend of information and time for you to ask questions and get the help you need to grow in your career! Space is limited, so register TODAY! Get Your Sparkle On! Celebrate our 95th Anniversary with Us!! BPW/NC State Headquarters in Carrboro, NC January 24-25, 2014 More information and online registration on website Get Your Sparkle On! Celebrate our 95th Anniversary with Us!! We are celebrating our 95th year! A new year, a new you, and You Can Accomplish Anything! A new year is a time to define what is most important to you and to promise yourself that you will do all you can to attain all that you wish for. Join us in Carrboro, NC for the 2014 BPW/NC Women Empowered and Enlightened Event January 24-25 2014! Our 95th year kick-off event celebrates YOU, and 95 years of supporting and advocating for you! This anniversary provides a time of celebration and reflection of the important moments in our organization. There is much history to celebrate, and there is also much more to do. Special 95th Anniversary Pricing: only $20 per person for the two-day event! As the Business and Professional Women of North Carolina celebrates our 95th anniversary, our focus is on the future. At a time when so much about our work environment is changing, and our need to find solutions to gender equity challenges continues, the work of professional development and advocacy is more important than ever. Friday, January 24, 2014 Dinner and a Show 6:30pm 8:00pm

When you register please indicate if you will be joining us! Join other WEE event attendees for dinner at the Milltown Restaurant before the show. Located near the Hampton Inn and across the street from Carrboro’s Arts Center, your dinner at Milltown is our treat! FREE up to $10 (drinks not included). Our treat too! Please join us at Carrboro's Arts Center for a Chris Brashear, Alice Gerrard, Cliff Hale & Jim Watson Musical Performance.



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8:00am 8:50am

Saturday, January 25, 2014 Registration | Light Breakfast



Mimi Zelman, BPW/NC President

9:00am 9:45am

Clarity, Focus, Results: The Power of Your Words

Leona La Perriere Leona is a leadership & success coach, published author, motivational speaker, and leadership facilitator. And by the way… People are her passion! She has a deep appreciation for the multitude of talents people share when working together for the greater good of all.

9:45am 10:15am

2013 Career Woman of the Year!

Lynn D. Minges Lynn is the President and CEO North Carolina Restaurant and Lodging Association. She was selected because she exemplifies personal career success, dynamic leadership qualities and the unique ability to serve as a role model.

10:15am 10:30am


10:30am 11:15am

Life in Your Terms: Achieving Your Career Goals

11:15am 12:45pm

Networking Lunch

12:45pm 1:45pm

Keynote: Women in Politics

Honorable Elaine Marshall, Secretary of State Elaine is North Carolina’s Secretary of State. She made history by being the first woman elected to statewide executive office in 1997, when she defeated legendary NASCAR driver Richard Petty.

1:45pm 2:15pm

How to Bench-press A Buick What Don't Kill You Will Make You Stronger!

Pat Sledge Pat is a member of Business and Professional Women of the Triad, and President-Elect of BPW/NC. She has served as the BPW/NC Legislative Chairperson for four separate terms and has been an active participant in advocacy for women and families since joining BPW in 1985. Advocating for legislation that would improve the lives of women across the state of North Carolina, Pat works with NC Women United to coordinate the Women’s Agenda Assembly and schedule meetings with Legislators at lobby day in North Carolina and at BPW USA’s Policy and Action lobby day in Washington, DC.

2:30pm 3:00pm

ANNOUNCEMENT OF: 2014 Career Woman of the Year!

The BPW/NC Career Woman of the Year was established to bring recognition and appreciation of the diverse contributions of women in the work force and in the community. Recognizing the contribution of a woman's commitment to the BPW aims and objectives, our 2014 winner will also be honored for her personal and professional progress.

Dr. Hope Hills, PhD Hope is a Corporate Leadership Psychologist and the founder and president of the Circle Consulting Group (CCG). CCG is a woman-owned business and led by licensed psychologists working in the field of Leadership Development and Organizational Consulting.



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North Carolina Federation of Business and Professional Women’s Clubs, Inc. PO Box 276 Carrboro, NC 27510-0276

Business & Professional Women Building Powerful Women Professionally, Politically, Personally. BPW/NC “GEM” North Carolina Federation: Website:

Work Ethics: Do You Have It? Mimi Zelman President

Our current economy has all of us thinking differently about ourselves, our world, and our connection with others. The subject of work ethics remains an important factor. All of us ‘know what is right and ethical’…at least I hope we do, but how do you relate that to your working environment? And how can that factor alone help you keep your job, advance in your job, or make a temporary job permanent? Do your share? A project usually entails many steps and many people working on a particular part. As it is with machinery, if one part is not working properly, the machine runs roughly, more slowly or even breaks. If everyone does their share of the work at the time it is needed, the ‘machinery’ will run smoothly and everyone wins. Projects get done faster, products get to the market more rapidly, and the quality of the work goes through the roof. Do what is right You KNOW what that is. If you make a mistake, own up to it. If the company does not allow mistakes to be made, quit. This type of company will die without creativity, and creativity in the marketplace means you make mistakes. We are human, after all. How many times did you fall down before you could walk? How many formulas did a pharmaceutical company make before they came up with a drug that would work? Mistakes are only worthless when you do not make them and learn from them. One story I’ve heard, possibly apocryphal, is of a worker who owned up to his mistake to his boss, saying that his error could cost the company as much as a million dollars. Immediately he asked if his boss wanted him to resign. His boss answered: “I can’t afford to lose you now. I have a million invested in you.”


Tar Heel Woman is a publication of the North Carolina Federation of Business and Professional Women’s Clubs, Inc. It is published six times a year and distributed without charge to all BPW/NC members.

Submissions may be made by sending information to Rhonda Hunter, Editor

Reserved is the right to accept, edit, or reject any material submitted for publication

Receive criticism as it is intended Constructive criticism helps you to see how you can improve and grow from another point of view. Two issues are in play, though -- how the person giving the criticism delivers it, and how you perceive the advice. For example, if someone says, “You could try to do it this way” OR “I’ve found that if you do such and such...” you are probably inclined to listen to them. Of course if your adviser says something like “You are so stupid. Why didn’t you do this project my way?” you are certainly not inclined to take their advice. (Though sometimes our inner voices are as cruel as our worst critic.) Understand what they are saying to you from their point of view. Try not to take it personally. Give constructive criticism where needed There are times when YOU are the adviser. First, if you know your colleague’s personality and how they receive information, you will know how to approach them. If you are fair and nonthreatening, the person will be more willing to listen and take action. If guidance is needed and you don’t say anything, the situation may escalate and harsher measures may have to be taken. Nip things in the bud and address issues that are small. As time goes on you will know how to approach each person. Offer ways of improving As you do your work and see that a system might need improving, don’t be afraid to bring suggestions to your supervisor. Again, how you approach this is important. Simply lay out the concerns and be clear about a new way of doing things, taking into account budget and resources. Your superior will value your thoughts in the future and remember them when review time comes around.

So, live your ethical life everyday and you will find you will love going to work.

Tar Heel Women December 2013  

Welcome to the December 2013 edition of the Business and Professional Women of North Carolina magazine. Here you can read about upcoming eve...

Tar Heel Women December 2013  

Welcome to the December 2013 edition of the Business and Professional Women of North Carolina magazine. Here you can read about upcoming eve...