Local Experts on Relationships Connecting Spiritually
Enlightened
with Your Partner
Forgiveness
by Jim Sharon, EdD and Ruth Sharon, MS
by Rev. David Ridge
“As I do my personal growth work and come to know more of my true essence, I realize I am soulfully connected to you and to all of life”1
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eing in a committed relationship is like immersion in a holy crucible, in which your defenses can soften and melt away. The ego strives for separateness and autonomy. Constructing ways to keep the other away becomes less functional and attractive in a love relationship. Your soul longs to unify. What are some helpful ways to reconcile living with the paradox of being an autonomous person and merging as a couple? When your inner awareness and trust level are high and your longing for intimacy is strong, you are poised to connect soulfully. You become more available to love and be loved. You are more compassionate in the presence of past wounds and can be an active agent in healing each other’s residual pain from the past. In this way, love serves as a poultice that draws impurities to the surface to be dissipated. When the illusion of separation recedes, you witness the soul of your beloved with its beauty and power.
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Denver/Boulder Mile High Edition
When you notice your protective emotional walls rising, take a moment to step back. Ask yourself, “What am I reacting to? What is this feeling? What do I need? How can I express this to my partner? How can I engage in conscious, soulful connection? What qualities and behaviors am I committed to bringing forth for self- and coupleactualization?” Remember that major lessons your soul is learning are often expressed unconsciously in your relationships. Actively doing your personal work clears the path for your soulful marriage to thrive. When you can shift your focus away from the reactive power and control patterns to the essence of who your partner is, you treat each other with more respect and kindness. Practicing unconditional love allows your relationship to serve as a healing balm that soothes and comforts both of you. Day by day, choose to cherish each other more and more. Dr. Jim Sharon, Licensed Psychologist and Ruth Sharon, Licensed Professional Counselor, of Energy for Life, are the authors of 1“Secrets of a Soulful Marriage: Creating and Sustaining a Loving, Sacred Relationship.” Energyforlife.us. MileHighNaturalAwakenings.com
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orgive and forget” rings hollow to someone suffering hurt feelings or significant disappointment. Empty platitudes like “forgive and forget” rarely make the sufferer feel any better. What if true forgiveness is not an action after the fact, but an attitude towards the present moment that can be learned? Consider Jason and Sarah. Jason expected something of Sarah that she did not fulfill. It could have been an explicit promise, an implicit responsibility, or the fulfillment of a shared goal. That unmet expectation caused Jason’s grievance – not Sarah. It was caused by Jason’s attachment to the unrealized outcome. Jason could either “forgive” or “forget” Sarah – either “let it go” or remove Sarah from his life. But a more enlightened forgiveness relieves his grievance and helps him realize joy in each moment. The key is to dissolve his expectation(attachment to outcome) by giving unconditional love to the present moment, not to Sarah. It is completely an “inside job.” If you’re a parent, you remember the first time you held your child and the unconditional love you felt for this new, perfect, innocent life. But what if you don’t remember what unconditional love feels like? What if I told you, “I Love You… unconditionally! That no matter what you’ve done or who you are,