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Letter From the Editor

2 ........................................................................................................

President’s Welcome Note

3 ........................................................................................................

Q & A With The JCR!

10 ........................................................................................................

Culchie transitions to the big

11 ........................................................................................................

Feed Yourself - by Jack Boyle

smoke - by Johnny Deane

13 ........................................................................................................

Money Saving Tips-

14 ........................................................................................................

A Guide To Irish Shlang

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JCR Music Corner

16 ........................................................................................................ 17 ........................................................................................................

by Catherine Corrigan by Louise Mc Mahon by Ben O’Dwyer

JCR Challenge List Welfare With Cian

For Starters



Freshers... ....To

your first edition of the JCR publication that is the Halls Herald. This edition, written entirely by the JCR, focuses on the individuals committee and our intentions for the coming year. As publications officer I am responsible for anything that goes to print in Halls and it is my main ambition to make this the best Herald yet. So with my reputation going on the line I’m seeking the budding writers, photographers, philosophers, fashionistas and musicians to fill these pages in the months to come.

Essentially if you feel you can bring something to the community of Halls whether it be opinions, reviews or interviews..*Insert Uncle Sam here* ..I Want YOU! The reason I took my position was that I found that the unbounded talent in the Halls community needed some way of publicity. So don’t hide away, I’ll give you the audience you deserve. Writing isn’t a chore anymore, it’s an expression.

Shake off that Leaving Cert cramp and get creative!

Mike O’Hanrahan

Trinity Hall Publications Officer

For Starters


A Note

From El Presidente

“ Dear Residents of Trinity Hall 2013/14... ....Congratulations, well

done, comhghairdeas, hats off to you! Not only have you aced your exams and got your place in TCD, but most importantly of all, you’re a new resident of Trinity Hall 2013/14. Your hard work has paid off and now it’s time to reap the benefits and enjoy yourself. With incredible facilities and an amazing community atmosphere, Trinity Hall is the best place to get settled in to college life. I’m Conor O’Meara, a 2nd Year BESS student and your JCR President. The JCR (Junior Common Room) is you. You haven’t even stepped foot in Trinity and you’re already a member. The JCR Committee are an elected committee of 2nd Year students and former Trinity Hall residents, here to make sure you have the most amazing, fantastic, unbelievable year of your life in Trinity Hall, from Ents to welfare and everything in between!!

The JCR is unique as Trinity Hall is the only student residence in Ireland to have such a committee, so prepare to be amazed with the talent we have. You’ll see this bunch running around Trinity Hall in bright, red hoodies during Freshers Weekend (13th – 15th September). We have a a fantastic weekend lined up, full of free food, 3 crazy club nights and a big name band, so don’t forget to grab a wristband off one of us. You can find all the details at or on Twitter @TrinityHall_JCR. Take advantage of this year in Trinity Hall. It’s an amazing opportunity to meet and become friends with a thousand new people and be part of a truly unique community. You’ll have the freedom to make this year as amazing as you want it to be, within the safety/ guidance of the accommodation office and assistant wardens, who are always there to help. Take chances, approach new people, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Trinity Hall is definitely a place where you get back even more than what you put in.

Be prepared for the best year of your life!! YOUR






JCR President 2013/14

Your Committee


Q &A

With The

Conor O’Meara JCR title:

What is your best memory of

What do you do?

My last memory of Hall Ball - downing a pint in three seconds followed by a shot of whiskey... It was a great night after that...


King Con

Dictate, manage from the chair, pass all the difficult work on to Catherine and eat all the free pizza

What was your

main reason for taking your position?

Being able to really contribute to Halls/ the JCR and have the power to manage an excellent team/ organise great events

What was your favorite event last year?

JCR Election night

Tell me one regret.

Should’ve eaten more free pizza

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers?

Stock up on as much freebies during Freshers’ Weekend... Get used to student life quick...

Attention students

50% off treatments Monday - Saturday before 12. 20% off at all other times. Heaven @ Rathmines Ph 4910101 Heaven @ O’Connell st. Ph 8748405

Heaven @ Grafton st Ph 6770777 Heaven @ Ashbourne Ph 8010010

Your Committee


Catherine Corrigan JCR title:

Vice President & Treasurer

What do you do?

Crack the whip, keep an eye on the pres and pinch the pennies

What is your best memory of Halls?

The JCR international trip to Krakow was unbelievable, so memorable yet so forgettable...

What was your favorite event

last year?

Hall Ball, it was such a brilliant night out and a great way to finish off the year

Tell me one regret.

Not making it out every night in last years freshers week, bring on round two.

What was your main reason for

taking your position?

To Have the craic, meet some great people and have another amazing year in halls

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers?

Go to as many JCR events as you can they’re the easiest and fastest way to meet people and have the bonus of freebies from the JCR!

Sarah Kennedy JCR title:


What do you do?

Work mainly in the background in the organizing of events-buses, wristbands, etc. and arrange meetings

What is your best memory of Halls?

My best memory of halls has to be the session we had on the last night of halls before the Christmas holidays-’Whiskey Night’

What was your favorite event

last year?

Probably Fresher’s Weekend because nobody knew anyone so I found myself making loads of friends

Tell me one regret.

What was your main reason for taking your position? The promise of free pizza

Not going to Hall Ball

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers? Put yourself out there and you’ll still be making friends even at the end of the year!

Your Committee


Jack Boyle JCR title:

Tech Officer

What do you


Make sure all the freshers get set up on the college network. I also keep the website up to date.

What was your main reason for taking your position?

To see the happy looks on people’s faces when they get reunited with their Internet connection.

What is your best memory of Halls?

The general buzz about the place during freshers weekend last year!

What was your favorite event last year? Vegas Night. So much style, so little class.

Tell me one regret.

Getting a truly awful hickey the night before heading home for the weekend. “Would you not have bought her a burger instead?”

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers? Get involved with a society of some sort. Great opportunity to meet new people or take up a new hobby.

Mike O’Hanrahan JCR title:

Publications Officer

What do you do?

I do all the designing you see from profile pictures to posters to this (awesome) magazine

What was your

What is your best memory of Halls?

Fairy liquid skating on the kitchen floor the night before Christmas break. Not to give you any ideas or anything.

What was your favorite event last year?

All of them were sick but hungover sports day was awesome. Cans and a rodeo bull, not bad!

main reason for taking your po- Tell me one regret. Missed Hall Ball, I don’t even know why! sition? To give myself some Can you give one piece of advice creative outlet but also to the freshers?

to publish all of you talented people and give you a foothold in Trinity’s publications scene

Pizza boxes and lighters don’t go well together.

Your Committee


Louise Mc Mahon

JCR title:

International Officer

What do you do?

Apart from perving on all the new Freshers, I do the occasional bit of JCR work as well. I help the International students settle into Halls, organize tons of activities and of course, the annual JCR International Trip.

What was your main reason for Taking your position?

I loved my time in Halls and simply didn’t wanna leave!

What is your best memory of Halls?

Probably the Strip Auction and Election week… stripping to Single Ladies with Cian, forgetting most of the routine, funniest night ever.

What was your favorite event last year?

So many to choose from, but JCR Vegas Night was one of the best.

Tell me one regret.

Not buying a ticket to Hall Ball because I had work early the next morning.. huuuuge mistake!

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers?

Make friends with the Halls security lads early on.. Trust me, they’ll save you when you forget your key card for the 5Oth time after a night out.

Adam O’Neill JCR title:

What is your best memory of

What do you

JCR election week. That’s a no brainer. More specifically, the strip auction. I’ll probably never be as intoxicated as I was that night ever again.

Ents Officer do?

My main duty as Ents Officer is to make sure that the whole population of Halls is having a good time. I organise the events throughout the year, including the nights out, movie nights, free drinks receptions, and of course Hall Ball at the end of the year. If there ever comes a time when your glass isn’t full on a night out, you come to me.

What was your main reason for taking your position?

Well, last year was excellent, so I want this years students to have as good a time as I did. The JCR did a lot for all of us last year, so this is my way to give back I suppose.


What was your favorite event last year?

Definitely Refreshers Week. It was a fairly tough week to get through, but my god was it good. Monday through Thursday of that week was probably the best time of the college year. Come Friday morning, I genuinely thought I was going to die.

Tell me one regret.

Maybe I shouldn’t have let that fire in the hallway get so out of hand that one time. :P

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers?

Don’t be shy. Meet as many people as you possibly can. Try and get on with your flatmates, and other flats in your house. Living in Halls is a great experience to share with people. Be friendly, and just have some fun.


Bernard Ryan

Your Committee

JCR title:

What is your best memory of

What do you

Probably the third Wednesday of Halls, when in the middle of a pre-drinks in our apartment, I was forced to eat my dinner while sitting on a kitchen bin.

Comms Officer


I manage the social media and helpJack with updating the JCR website. I’m also the guy that’s getting you connected with all you need to know about College and Halls.

What was your

main reason for taking your position? I felt that I should impart my experience to this year’s First Years about getting connected.


What was your favorite event last year?

Friday night of the international trip to Krakow, when I was locked out of my room, changed room and broke a bed!

Tell me one regret.

Not getting more pictures of First Year (3,918 from Freshers’ Weekend in September to when I left Halls in May)

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers? Get out there, not just this weekend, but all year. Make friends, have conversations, get pictures, enjoy college. Just make sure you remember everything for you’re only a Fresher once!

Ben O’Dwyer

JCR title:

Halls just spent the day lounging by the pond recuperating with a few cans.

What do you

What was your favorite event last

My main jobs are to keep the music room in working order and sort out the sound system for all JCR events. I also organize many music events throughout the year, such as the open mic nights and Halls Got Talent.

The Halls Come Dine with Me, My group were all really sound and it was five chilled out evenings of really good food with awesome company. So much better than a night out.

Music Officer


What was your main reason for taking your position?

I loved attending all of the musical events last year, especially the open mic nights, and really wanted to put my own personal touch on each one this year.

What is your best memory of Halls?

The day after Trinity Ball, when everyone was absolutely hanging, but the Sun was shining and all of


Tell me one regret.

Not getting involved in sports in college, it’s so easy to convince yourself that you don’t have the time and you don’t need to worry about staying healthy, but by the end of the year I couldn’t even walk up the stairs in apartment blocks without getting tired.

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers? Don’t be afraid to ring someone’s doorbell. Most of the time people would love to have a visit from someone new, and you never know who you might meet. Why not go say hi to that person across the hall who you’ve never really spoken to, or the guys on the floor above? They could end up being really good friends by the end of the year!

Your Committee


Cian Lawless

JCR title:

What is your best memory of

What do you

Meeting Megan Davy, the Halls Beour.... She doesn’t even go here

Welfare Officer



I am the Big Brother of Halls and my job is to make sure everyone is feeling great (because we are a family) and have brilliant smiles on their faces. On a side note I also make sure there is no need for a halls crèche by giving out free condoms

What was your favorite event

What was your main reason for

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers? Haters gonna Hate.

taking your position?

I had a great first year of college and I really wanted to help the new first years to have an even better year.

last year?

The JCR did such a good job last year and its so hard to choose but I would have to say freshers weekend was the best. I’m from the country side in Galway and imagine, my first time in Dublin I was twisted for three days solid!

Tell me one regret. I have no regrets…

Johnny Deane JCR title:

JCR sports officer

What do you do?

Tell me one regret.

What was your

Can you give one piece of advice to the freshers?


main reason for taking your position? Free hoodie...Good craic

What is your best memory of Halls?

..starting a domestic between the Brazilian ambassador and the woman by kicking a ball into their garden...good craic

What was your favorite event last year?

The 1 where I woke up in the pond...good craic 1 regret ...that 5..good craic

I have no regrets...

....Naggin mixer.... less calories...healthy option...good craic





From the parish to the big smoke

by Johnny Deane

This article is being written with the aim of assisting fresher culchies to adjust to life in the big smoke. I have learnt a lot about the difference between rural and urban Ireland and I hope to share this knowledge with all of you....

Music: Here in the Dublin they’re into their animal collective and their metronomy down at home we’re still bluetoothing DJ Cammi on our Motorola flip phones while trying to beat our high score on snake

Fashion:...Paul Galvin pre-

pares a man for a lot of things..... but even he could not prepare you for what you will see in the Arts block on a Monday at 1..when most arts students wake up. Also in the Dublin you see a lot of men wearing suits...only time you see a man in a suit where i’m from is court or a funeral.

Politics:..Very serious

altogether up here...they’re more concerned with solving deficits than fixing potholes to be honest... more David Norris than Jackie Healy Rae

Buses: They’re everywhere..I

mean coming at you from every angle...Bus Éireann don’t even run a bus where I’m from they say it’s not economically viable.

Saluting: People in Dublin don’t wave as much so don’t be trying to wave at every car that passes you’ll only end up with a

sore arm......wave at the Luas drivers...they’re good people.

and that counting is not compulsory

Climate: It doesn’t seem to Religion: In Dublin a lot of rain as much in Dublin so the topic of conversation that many of you have perfected over year about the various types of rain, wet rain, aul drizzly rain that doesn’t really soak ya but wets the hair, the slanted rain that makes any hood/paddy cap useless, and my personal favorite when it just clean f*ck*n buckets down on ya are often not applicable so lads you are going to need a new conversation starter because nobody in rural Ireland ever got the shift from “Jesus it’s sunny out”

Food: Contrary to what the

local veg man told ye lads Potatoes are not a food group of their own so feel free to sample some of the foreign foods available within the Pale for example Pasta some form of what I can only describe as stale bread that you throw into hot water to soften up a bit...Rice is another option again very small white and is heaped into boiling water for a lock of minutes to soften her up. You would generally have a couple of thousand rice but I have learned to generally guess

people have begun to question the role of the catholic church in today’s society and indeed their own spirituality due to the atrocities that have been exposed in recent times......Down by us different story altogether. The parish priest is lapping the village in his hatchback Corolla as if he’s Tony F*CK*N Soprano

Homosexuality: In

Dublin attitudes towards homosexuality are much more progressive. If an individual is to “come out” as homosexual they are commended for their bravery and courage for being able to stand up and say this is who I am. While in rural Ireland if a man were to come out as gay...1st of all the grandmother would head down to the church to light a few candles... Then the grandfather would have a look at the Lemsip label to see if it cures a lad who catches the gay and finally the father would ring the football manager tell him to drop the young lad to junior B and throw him in corner back to harden the young fella up!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to hear some similar observations follow @danxydan on twitter. If on the other hand you were offended contact Bernard with all complaints.







n college


Jack Boyle

ssineo weconsisting all have this image of student cuiof little more than beans

on toast and chicken rolls. Fortunately it doesn’t have to be that way. There are loads of ways to stay fed on a tight budget. So here are some tips to make sure you won’t be going hungry this year. If you don’t fancy yourself as much of a chef, Dublin has a whole range of options for those who aren’t a dab hand in the kitchen. In college itself you have the Dining Hall on Front Square. Don’t believe the rumors that it’s reserved for scholars, between 12 and 3 every day they do a student buffet where you can get a range of hot meals for a fiver. An extra euro will get you soup or a dessert! Plus it’s kinda a bit like eating in Hogwarts with the long tables and what not. There are also an endless number of eateries within a five minute walk of Trinity College, ranging from burritos to noodles, paninis to pasta. Many offer five euro deals to students with the appropriate society card. Over freshers week keep an eye out for societies offering free/cheap food. The Student Union normally offers free lunches during freshers week so keep your eyes peeled. One of the most hassle free and cheapest options you have this year is “Clever Cuisine”. Clever Cuisine is a scheme where you pay €10 for the ingredients for four meals. That’s right a tenner for enough food to last you from Monday to Thursday. Can’t say fairer than that.

Once you get set up with a Trinity email account you can avail of this great offer. Of course if you don’t mind a bit of cooking (it is cheaper and healthier) you should invest in some herbs and spices at the start of the year. They can turn a bland dish into fine cuisine. Things like chili powder, mixed spice, parsley etc are all available in Aldi and Lidl and a jar of each will probably last you all year. If you like Asian food you should check out the Asia Market on Drury Street (city centre). Here you’ll find loads of spices and pastes that you can add to your stir frys to make them a bit more interesting. Plus they have some of the cheapest noodles and rice in Dublin. Don’t forget to get some veggies in. One thing you don’t want to get in college is scurvy! A good way to save money is to plan what you’re going to eat for the week in advance. It saves you buying stuff you won’t use. If you know what you’re going to cook then you can buy the ingredients for just those meals. It’s always handy to have plenty of

pasta/ rice to hand. Buying this in bulk means you only need to get some meat and veg every week. Don’t go shopping hungry!!! There’s no more sure fire way to blow your budget on snacks. And remember, it’s not a special offer unless you were going to buy it anyway. Don’t be a sucker for those yellow price tags. Aldi and Lidl are your friend. A little bit of an extra walk but really worth it for how much cheaper it is.

J ack WIll Be Running An Internet Service To Get You All Connected To The Hallls Internet and College System Saturday 3 - 6 pm


. .Really. . . .Easy. .

. .Enchiladas. .


best thing about enchiladas is that you can pretty much put whatever you want in them, be it mince, chicken or even rashers. If you’re a vegetarian just replace the meat with extra peppers, some kidney beans or whatever tickles your fancy. Quantities vary and this is just a rough guideline. Experiment!! You will need: • Half a carton of passatta (tomato paste available from aldi/lidl roughly €0.50) • Tortillas (again from aldi roughly €0.60) • Meat of your choice • Some grated cheese • A pepper or two chopped • A small onion chopped • Teaspoon each of ground cumin and chili powder (leave the chili powder out if you’re not a big fan of spicy food) 1. Preheat the oven to 180. 2. In a heated and oiled pan, fry off your meat until cooked 3. Sprinkle over the cumin and the chili powder 4. Add your veg

Turn down the heat and add the passatta (reserve some for over the tortillas). Keep it on the Heat until bubbling. 6. Spoon the mix from the pan into tortillas, wrap them up and place in an oven dish. 7. Pour the rest of the passatta over the tortillas and sprinkle over the cheese. 8. Place in the oven for about 15 minutes until the cheese has melted and is bubbling. 5.

13 HOW TO MAKE YOUR MONEY STRETCH IN DUBLIN - Use your JCR discount card to save money in Rathmines - Search the Recession fridge in Deveneys for cheap drink deals - Invest in either a bus ticket or a luas ticket as

soon as possible it will save you money in the long run - Watch out for second years selling their textbooks, it’s a much cheaper alternative to purchasing new ones - If you’re phoning for a taxi use KCR you’ll get €4 off - Clever cuisine will get you 4 main meals for €10 delivered straight to halls - Smiles (the shop at halls) has a deal of the week, watch your emails for these offers

TurfnSurf-Adventure Bus Tours(hostel)-A4.pdf



- The SU circulate an email every week and they also have a deal of the week for cheap places to grab lunch in town - The trinity doctor is free of charge - Always ask places if they do student discount as they don’t always advertise it - Buy tickets to the JCR events they’re the cheapest (and best) nights out! - Best of luck trying not to break the bank in your first year your JCR treasurer xoxo












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BUS DIRECT FROM DUBLIN CITY CENTRE, Leaving Monday, Wednesday, Friday


Book Online visit: TURFNSURF LODGE & SURF SCHOOL, BUNDORAN, DONEGAL T: +353 (0) 71 98 41091 E:

AG Hey


Irish Shlang. .



guys! I’m Louise and I’m your JCR International Officer. I’ll be the one making sure all you Freshers from overseas settle into the Trinity Halls way of life. I’m here to make your transition to Dublin as smooth as possible, so

by Louise Mc Mahon

that means loads of activities, trips and stuff to do on weekends as well as during the week. I also have the class job of organizing the JCR INTERNATIONAL TRIP. 3 days of madness, messiness and general craic in a top secret European city…. sure why not! It’s always a

Halls highlight, but more on that later in the year… As a little welcome to our Ints students, I’ve put together a wee list of classic Irish phrases so you guys can start practicing your accents and bonding with your new housemates*.

I was absolutely polluted last night.

- This phrase is a personal favorite of mine, ideal for describing those nights when the phrase “few naggins be grand” sadly didn’t apply. Other great terms for describing your drunken exploits include bolloxed, hammered, and plastered.

I’m hanging/dying

- When you’ve such a bad hangover that you actually fear you may have caused permanent liver damage.

I did it arseways

- Now this doesn’t mean what you think it means. Basically, doing something arseways means you made a complete mess of it. - Broken, useless, not working. - A boring person, no craic.**

Ah my phone is banjaxed

She’s an awful dry shite Eat the head off somebody.

- Again, not to be taken literally, this means to get angry at someone.

Did ya get the shift?

- Crucial that you know this one., it means to kiss. The best shifting photos generally make it to the JCR facebook page so watch your back on nights out ;)

I’m knackered

- Great one to use after Fresher’s weekend, it means you’re wrecked, shattered or very, very tired. - Means you’re messing around.

Acting the maggot

Cop onto yourself (t’fuck)

- If your housemate is acting the maggot, tell them to cop themselves on.

- Naked.

In the nip

15 Ride

- Can be used a few ways. If someone’s really attractive, you declare “she’s a ride!”. Alternatively, if you’ve told a girl she’s a ride and things are going well then you might actually get the ride, which means to have sex.

Yano the International Officer? Yeah she’s dead sound.

- You can use sound to mean someone is really nice or cool. You can use it instead of saying OK. - Dancing like ya just don’t care. - Sarcasm for no.

Throwing shapes I will yeah! Sláinte lads!

- A cute little phrase which means “Cheers!” in our native tongue.

So there ya have it lads and lassies, some handy phrases to get you through Fresher’s weekend. Remember if you ever need to get in touch throughout the year, you can reach me at Slán guys! *showing off your new phrases at house parties is heartily encouraged. **disclaimer – the JCR accept no responsibility for offence taken by said phrases

Whether performing is your

thing or you prefer to just sit back and watch the music, there will be plenty of musical events that will cater to anyone’s taste this year. Halls is equipped with a newly refurbished music room bursting with all the equipment you could possibly need that’s open to all residents of halls any day of the week. And once you’ve spent some time practicing in this room, why not come down and show off your talents in the brilliant open mic nights that will


- Music .Corner.

run regularly throughout the year. This year also heralds the return of the hugely popular Halls Got Talent. Free for anyone to enter, pit your talents against the other residents to win cash prizes in the contest that Britain’s Got Talent wishes it could be. Any questions or suggestions of other events you’d like to see this year, please contact your music officer:

In The Club:

- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Thrift Shop - Swedish House Mafia – Don’t you Worry Child - Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness (Steve Aoki Remix) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)

Ben at

But that’s enough of looking at

the year ahead, first we have to get through freshers’ weekend, and here is the perfect playlist to make it one to remember:

For the Pre-drinks:

- Foals – Cassius - Two Door Cinema Club – I Can Talk - Bloc Party – Helicopter - Bastille – Pompeii

And, for the inevitable hangover: - REM – Everybody Hurts - Buffalo Springfield – For What it’s Worth - Creedence Clearwater Revival – Have you ever seen the rain?

JCR Challenge List THE FRESHER GAMES 1. Adopt a pet traffic cone. 2. Get a photo with every JCR member. 3. Reactivate your key card at reception…. in underwear only. 4. Shift a member of the JCR. 5. Release your inner Miley Cyrus and twerk at the silent disco. 6. Do a beer bong at a JCR event. 7.

Post your most embarrassing Freshers’ Weekend photo on the wall of shame (Oldham House)

8. Ask Cian (the welfare officer) for a condom 9. Do your best prank, points for creativity! 10. Stage a dramatic proposal to your first Halls love <3 11. Swap clothes completely with someone of the other sex in a club.. Before

and after evidence needed!

12. Find a home for your JCR sticker, no points if on Halls property Photographic Evidence must be provided for all of the above. Not only will you go down on the wall of shame, But there’s prizes!!

Parental supervision advised when using Scissors bbz.



Welfare With:

. CIAN .

“Hi guys.. . ...My name is Cian Lawless and

I am your JCR Welfare Officer. I will be here to be your big brother throughout your first year of College. If you ever have a problem—be it sexually, physically or mentally I am the man to talk to. Located in Oldham house my office is open whenever you need me. All you need to do is send me a quick text and I will meet you as soon as I can but I do have office hours every Wednesday at 8pm until 10pm.

MENTAL HEALTH: It is so important that you have a healthy mind in College. At the end of the day you can’t have a healthy body without a healthy mind so if you have any problems whatsoever talk it out. I’m here to be a shoulder to cry on and a friend when you need one. Come and see me and I will help put a smile back on your face. SAFE SEX: Ever heard of a Johnny? Well in College (especially first year) it is one of the most important things you should have. No one wants to play Russian roulette with their sexual health and the last thing I want to do is open up a halls crèche! So avoid the awkward doctor/boots visit by coming to me. I have an infinite supply of FREE Condoms and all you have to do is ask, but please be reasonable when you do it because one in the morning is not okay. If any of you have any problems regarding:Sex (in case you want to spice things up I have some helpful tips)/STDs/Sexuality/or pregnancy just come and see me. Nothing is ever too small to tell me.

And now, here are some of my ‘invaluable’ sex tips:

- “10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY IN BED” – When it comes to verbal communication between the sheets, there’s a distinct difference between dirty talk and phrases that should never, ever be uttered in bed.....

“I can’t wait to have a baby!” -And he can’t wait to never sleep with you again!

“Just wait until my ex finds out!” -What have we learned here? Let’s see, you’re being used for sex to get back at an ex who’s probably going to kill you. Yep, that’s about right.

18 “My dad can’t wait to meet you!” -(And then kill you for what you’ve done to his daughter.)

“Is that it?”

-Apparently it was..

“What’s your name again?” -For the love of all things sensual, use a term of endearment until you can figure it out!

“Are you done yet?” -Is that a rhetorical question?

“I think I’m going to be sick!” -Right now?!

“Have you done this before?” -Yes. Well, the goats and video camera are new. There’s no upside to getting an honest answer to this question, so save your breath.

“Aww, it’s cute!” -Nothing is cute on a man. Ever.

“SHH! You’ll wake my roomates.” -You’re considerate. Great. But, you’re also thinking about a nosy hausfrau while someones trying to turn you on. In terms of confidence, that ranks up with calling their goods “precious.”

So with that said have fun in college guys! Love from your super awesome Welfare Officer!

And now a message from Katie Biggs, the Auditor of Trinitys’ Q soc : Hallo! On behalf of Q Soc, Trinity’s LGBT Society,

I want to welcome you to Trinity and in particular to Halls! Q Soc is always open to Trinity’s LGBTQ people and our allies, and we will support you any way that we can. Our top priority is the safety and comfort of the queer community in Trinity and we do our best to work with the college staff and the students union in any way that we can to make sure that LGBTQ students are represented and protected on all levels. Whatever you discover about yourself in college, make sure to look after yourself, feel confident to say no anything you don’t want to do and take the opportunity to learn

about who you are. Regardless of your gender identity, gender expression or sexuality, you are always welcome in Q Soc. If you want any more information about us, visit our website at or If you feel nervous about coming to a Q Soc event for the first time, our inclusions officer, James, can help you out by meeting you beforehand and going for coffee or just meeting you outside our room so you can be introduced to people when you arrive (just drop James an email to to set it up). We’re Looking forward to meeting you at Freshers’ Week (or anytime after that either)!

Golden VIP ticket to ride. . We have 5 VIP golden condoms to give away for Freshers’ Weekend including a deluxe Hummer and VIP into the club. Make sure you’re ‘attending’ our event on Facebook to secure your ride along with a lucky friend. ***Good for one night only*** ;)



























Halls Herald freshers' week edition  
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