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January 24, 2001


THE MICHIGAN REVIEW MR The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

Volume 19, Number 10

January 24, 2001

On the Steps of the Hill

Review Road Trip: A First-Hand Account of the Day’s Events BY JAMES JUSTIN WILSON


TS NOT OFTEN that you get to see a Republican president Inaugurated, let alone in person. For most us at the Review, it wasn’t since we were in third grade that the last Bush was Inaugurated. So once the liberals in Florida finally stopped yammering about chads and such, and Bush became president-elect, we decided that it was time for a road trip. With 1,100 miles in front of us, five Review staffers set off



ARTIN LUTHER KING Jr.’s birthday was observed on January 15. Although some still disagree on details regarding King, the one indisputable fact is that he stood for peace. He manifested this in both his study of the great pacifist Gandhi, and his personal message of passive resistance. Yet, even though King’s spirit lives on to this day, his message is often forgotten or warped. This “lapse” in memory was demonstrated just this past Monday, when The Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, Integration and Fight for Equality (yes, they changed their



Serpent’s Tooth

From Suite One

Nike is back, and so is SOLE (shouldn’t it be SOLEE?) And what would MLK say about going to class on the Sabbath on his behalf?

See BUSH Page 8

name) By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) held its annual MLK Day March for Affirmative Action. BAMN bussed in a number of high school students from Detroit, as well as students from Michigan State University. (Imagine that, BAMN busing high schoolers) The event, which was promoted on nearly every light pole, garbage can, dorm wall, and bathroom floor, was billed as a chance to denounce the law suit against the Law School and the larger “assault on affirmative action.” LSA Freshman Adam Dancy does not support


A bad week for liberals: Alec Baldwin gets divorced, Jesse Jackson admits to adultery, and Bill Clinton leaves office. Yes, we love it.

for Washington D.C., Friday, January 19th. After a lengthy car ride (read: eighteen hours of hell), and a night spent sleeping in a cold car in the RFK stadium parking lot, we awoke to try and find our way through the streets of DC (meeting Bill Bennett along the way). After making it to the capital, we were greeted by two things, lines and protestors. Thankfully, there were more lines than protestors. In fact, despite what CNN, the

Marching for Hate

In This Issue:


Review Staffers Hail to the Chief




The Shattering of a Dream


“I have a dream that my four children will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character…”

The Chink in the Armor has one less reason to be pissed at the world, and the Country Gent lets loose on those that think their values are more important than his.



ARTIN LUTHER KING Jr.’s words hold the same power today as they did in the 1960s. During his day, the civil rights movement was met with racism and hostility, from lawmakers in Washington to unsympathetic law enforcement officers. In the 60s, those who “judged by the color of their skin” obviously referred to groups like the Ku Klux Klan, but also to individuals and racists who impeded the civil rights movement. Presently, this group still includes the KKK, but has grown to encompass many organizations that would rather use race as a basis for judgment, instead of “content of their character.” Rage Against the Machine would have you believe that the “white-hooded judges” have institutionalized the racism in this country. However, the only judicial ruling that promotes racial discrimination today is that of the Regents of the University of California v.



The Daily’s new VERSUS features seems awfully similar to the Face-off...Well anyway, this week we have a relevant face-off.

10 Dancy holds a sign ripped by violent protestors. Bakke, from 1978 that assured the existence of race-based admissions policies. The University of Michigan began using racial preferences in admissions at about this time. Thus began the legacy of institutional racism at Michigan, dashing to pieces King’s dream of a colorblind


National Affairs

God forbid a Republican president would actually want to nominate a conservative to his cabinet. And way to go treehuggers, you’ve screwed over the most populated state in the Union.


El Señor Guípe

El Senor Guipe talks about...nothing. Maybe next time folks. The staff outlines their favorite albums of 2000 (Dark Side of the Moon was out of the running, unfortunately,) and Kurt lets loose on Frito Lay.

First three copies free,additional copies 50 cents. Stealing is Illegal and a sin (Exodus 20:15)


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SERPENT’S TOOTH Actress Kim Basinger has recently filed for divorce from her husband, actor Alec Baldwin, citing irreconcilable differences. We suspect these differences being that she has an Oscar while he can’t act his way out of a wet paper bag and her unreasonable and unthinkable willingness to stay in a country that has a Republican president. We don’t have to go to class on MLK Day but we have to on Good Friday? Is Martin Luther King, Jr bigger than Jesus? What would the REVEREND Martin Luther King Jr say about this? The REVEREND Jesse Jackson has recently admitted to being involved in an extramarital affair and to fathering an illegitimate child as a result. Political pundits view this as a sign that he plans to run for president in 2004, due to his “presidential” behavior. Upon seeing the video footage of the MLK Day assault on Adam Dancy, we here at Serpent’s believe that Michigan Football Head Coach Lloyd Carr should offer Dancy a position as starting tight end. Seriously; with the graduation of Senior Jake Frysinger, the Blue is going to need a new tight end…besides, have you ever seen someone break a tackle like that before? The Justice Department last week released updated campus crime figures, showing an unfortunate 6% rise in nationwide campus sexual assaults to 2,478. Shortly thereafter, U-M’s SAPAC released a corresponding study in which they estimated the nationwide college female population at slightly under 10,000. In an immunity deal, former (oh the wonderful sound of that little word...) President Clinton finally admitted, 3 years after an incriminating dress told all, that he did, in fact, have “sexual relations with that woman.” Historians have yet to determine, however, if it would take longer for our new President to remove Slick Willie’s stain on the Presidency or his stain on the Oval Office carpet. Ukrainian candy makers have released a candy bar consisting of chocolate covered pork fat. Apparently marketing research revealed that Ukrainians want a candy bar that combines the great tastes of bacon and chocolate with the instantaneous clogging of major arteries. In other news from across the pond, a poll of the British has reveal that Liam Gallagher of Oasis fame is the third most hated and feared individual, being bested only be Miloslovic and Hitler but beating last year’s winner, Saddam Hussein. To


improve his rating, Gallagher says Oasis’ next release will have a more “genocidal” sound. To escape a possible indictment after leaving office, ex-President Clinton has accepted a deal in which he admits that he gave “evasive and misleading” testimony. This precedent has sparked hope among not only purjurists but also among car thieves, who now anticipate they will be given the option of admitting to “evasive and misleading” car borrowing. Things left out of Bush’s inaugural celebrations: 10. 21 frying-Texas-inmate salute. 9. Mt. Cokemore snortathon and 8-Ball Ball. 8. Ceremonial inauguration/ resuscitation of Dick Cheney. 7. Live music by Rage Against the Machine. 6. Hail to the Chief sung by Monica Lewinsky. 5. DKE marching keg-stand band. 4. Trivial Pursuit tournament. 3. Fireworks show using unsuccessful theater missile defense prototypes. 2. The other 10 residents of Wyoming congratulate Dick Cheney in person. 1. Sub-par saxophone solo. Within the last two weeks, President Bollinger signed a new contract with athletic outfitter Nike. Because the contract contains a clause that allows the University to break the deal if Nike refuses to eliminate unlawful labor practices within 30 days of their being revealed, one would think that campus labor rights groups, like SOLE, would be somewhat

January 24, 2001

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan “Lets go to China! Lets go to China!” (Repeat until beaten, or arrested, or both.)

pleased. At first glance, it appeared that they were. During the Jan. 16 MSA meeting, SOLE co-founder, Peter RomerFreedman, pleaded that assembly members “instruct” the President to enforce the recently signed contract. The very next day, SOLE demonstrators stormed Bollinger’s office to protest Nike’s “breach of contract”. What is disturbing is the evident failure of the University’s Quantitative Reasoning requirement, since SOLE members are unable to count the number of days Nike has to comply with the allegations. It’s been two weeks. Although the Julian calendar has only been around a mere 2 millennia, perhaps someone should “instruct” SOLE that a week contains 7 days. 7 days X 2 weeks is somewhat less than 30. By the way, with Bollinger’s absence at this last occupation, SOLE is now 1 for 3 in terms of the person actually being at their office. Come on guys, at least try calling in advance. Not everybody has the convenient hours of the greedy, imperialistic coffee shops and clothing stores you typically protest. Despite a confrontation with the BSU, BAMN’s MLK Day activities kept with their traditions, consisting of the standard banner carrying, shouting, marching, and ripping up of Adam Dancy’s sign that we’ve all come to expect from the “mass millitant civil rights movement.”

Subscribe To The Michigan Review For a tax-deductible contribution of $35 or more, you’ll receive a year’s subscription to the Michigan Review, which includes 14 biweekly issues plus our annual summer new student issue. Your subscription will allow you to keep tabs on the radical left that infests Ann Arbor, and it will also updated you on the continued erosion of traditional academic standards and the politicization of the classroom. Reclaim the University of Michigan from the infiltration of the Left, subscribe to the Michigan Review!

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Ruben Duran Brad Sprecher Gina Fraternali Kurt Rademacher David Guipe Tyce DeBoer Branden Muhl John Pratt

STAFF WRITERS: Margaret Allen, Adam Dancy, Alexander Bokov, Tyce De Boer, Ryan Serra, Ben Smith, Michael Vesser


Lee Bockhorn Benjamin Kepple

The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the U–M. Contributions to the Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with any political party or university political group. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Ergo, they are unequivocally correct and just. Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review. The Serpent’s Tooth shall represent the opinion of individual anonymous contributors to the Review, and should not necessarily be taken as representative of the Review’s editorial stance. The opinions presented in this publication are not necessarily those of the advertisers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journal. As a longtime Yankee fan, I must say I have a newfound respect for the New York Mets. Seeing Bobby Valentine going after that dickhead at the inauguration has made me respect the man more than World Series rings ever could. And speaking of protesters at the inauguration, man, how pathetic, although I suppose it does take some fanaticism or stupidity to protest the legitimacy of the George W. Bush presidency ever AFTER he had been sworn in. Folks, if it hasn’t kicked in yet, the man IS president, none of this president-elect crap any more. Just deal with it. Please address all advertising, subscription inquiries, and donations to Publisher c/o the Michigan Review. Editorial and Business Offices: The Michigan Review 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 Tel. (734) 647-8438 • Fax (734) 936–2505 Copyright © 2000 The Michigan Review, Inc. All rights reserved. The Michigan Review is a member of the Collegiate Network.

Love us or hate us, write us. E-mail with subject, “Letter to the Editor” Or send mail to: The Michigan Review 911 N. University Ave. Ann Arbor, MI 48109

January 24, 2001


ENCOUNTERS Continued from Page 1

society, which may never be recovered completely. So if this policy is in fact racism, who are the racists? This question is answered fairly easily with a quick glance of the campus and of the public posting sites. Those who attack King’s dream of a colorblind society are those who claim allegiance to him most openly. Are you confused yet? The Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action and Integration, and Fight for Equality By Any Means Necessary (BAMN), is the group responsible for the vigorous attacks on King’s dream. The name of the organization is an enigma in itself. The Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action is reasonably self-explanatory, but when it comes to defending the Integration, their name couldn’t have been more deceptive. Affirmative action does not prevent segregation; the Supreme Court’s 1954 decision in the Brown v. Board of Education does just that. BAMN’s version of integration is then reduced to an unjustifiable manipulation of admissions. As for the Fight for Equality, do not assume they are speaking of racial equality. In line with their communist agenda, BAMN’s version of equality signifies social equality, as in government-imposed legislation that limits personal freedom. Every BAMN speech is pervaded by these and other antidemocratic themes. However, the phrase By Any Means Necessary certainly takes the cake for the most disturbing. This is actually a phrase coined by Malcolm X, an advocate of


violence, segregation, and hatred. To what means are they willing to go? How about holding a militant march on the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr., a strong advocate for nonviolence? This is exactly what happened. Monday, January 15 was only scheduled for a march and a rally in memory of King’s life. However, if anyone showed up and expected a Kingstyle demonstration, the festivities would have easily induced gagging. Nearly 200 marchers directly insulted his memory by focusing the entire rally around race-based affirmative action policies. BAMN headed the rally, with their signs and banners flying first. Hardly a sign was to be read promoting ideals of peace. Instead, the marchers spewed chants and slogans that advocated coercion, not peace, as a method for obtaining goals. King would be most displeased. I was furious. This march mirrored the sham of the Affirmative Action 102 program last fall. From my previous protesting experience, militant marchers are not rational people. They attempt to silence anyone with a differing opinion, and during the AA-102 march, you may remember that I was one who took a dangerous stand in opposition. This time, I took the necessary precautions: I brought two signs. The first one read, “Realize MLK’s true dream: affirmative action is racism,” and the second, more stirring sign stated, “King would hate affirmative action.” I marched along the parade route, and was met with a barrage of ignorance, hostility, and snowballs. These were not the peaceful ideological descendants of King- these were intolerable, short-fused liberals. One articulate marcher noticed my beautifully crafted sign and exclaimed, “What the f*** is that!? Take it down!


Someone Likes Us, They Really Like Us! I am first year student here at U of M. Throughout all of first semester, I walked around campus constantly hearing and seeing the views of this mainly liberal campus. Knowing this, I still read the Daily because I thought it was supposed to be the University’s main newspaper where I could be unbiasedly informed about noteworthy news at the University. Well, after the whole election mess and now, these affirmative action lawsuits, I can’t read it anymore without getting mad. Fortunately, I found the Michigan Review the other day. Now, I must say that when I read the Review, I actually have a smile on my face because I’m so happy that there are other people on this campus who are not Liberals. Specifically, I enjoyed reading James


Justin Wilson’s article from the January 10 issue entitled “Liberating American Policy from the Left.” Just this past week, BAMN entered my psychology lecture and talked for over an hour about how “necessary and crucial” affirmative action is to this University and to this country as a whole. I wholeheartedly disagree and finally, I found someone else who agrees with me. I just want to thank James for pointing out that by implementing affirmative action, we are still recognizing minorities as being separate and in need of special circumstances. Only when we stop breaking down ethnic groups into categories and start looking at all people as human beings will true equality have any chance of prevailing. My purpose in writing to you is not to get this published in the editorial section, but to thank you and applaud you for publishing this paper. -- David Goldman

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An aggressive marcher goes after Dancy. Luckily, he dodges the tackle. Take it down and rip it up, or I’ll do it myself!” Later, without warning, he attempted to do just that. He charged towards me, and nearly tackled me in the middle of the street, in order to disfigure my sign. By the time the march reached the Diag, my sign was tattered, and my first amendment rights trampled. Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream was dishonored on the one day of the year set aside to remember his life and his work. He studied Gandhi’s peaceful

methods, and never advocated violence, yet BAMN holds militant marches on his birthday. He dreamt of a colorblind society, and despite this, discrimination continues in the name of desegregation. This is not the vision of Martin Luther King Jr. “I have a dream…” His words ring true even today, for King believed that the color of one’s skin is truly just skin deep. MR


democracy. That was the one enduring aspect of the inauguration that the news lost sight of; although there were a few angry liberals on street corners, the vast majority of people at the inauguration were there in support of the president. Most liberals and conservatives buried the hatchet and realized that although this was not a perfect election, it was over, and George W. Bush was the winner. Perhaps the crowning moment of the entire ceremony was when a lone protestor shouting, “Lets go to China” during the swearing in was beaten up (and then later arrested) by some self proclaimed “drunk.” Then, much to our surprise,

Continued from Page 1 Michigan Daily, and the other news organizations would have you believe, the protestors we so few and feeble, that we only ran into a couple on each street corner. But once all the line standing was over, the shear atmosphere of patriotism enshrouding the Capital made it all worth the wait. It’s not often that you can find quite so many people so enthused with not only the American spirit, but also the American presidency. This is a time when people have grown disgusted with politics, but almost everyone put that behind them for just one day to celebrate American

God Bless President Bush and God Bless America.

See BUSH on page 8

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January 24, 2001

U of M Signs Deal with Nike SOLE Says it is a Deal with the Devil


N JANUARY 8TH, the University of Michigan Athletic Department signed a contract with Nike worth $28 million in equipment over the next seven years. Additionally, the contract also provides the University with annual cash payments of $1.2 million as well as 10% of all profits from apparel bearing the Michigan logo. These allotments mark an increase in comparison to previous contracts. The University should be lauded for mending its relationship with Nike. The new contract replaces a previous contract which Nike canceled after Michigan joined the WRC (Workers Rights Coalition). The WRC, which was coauthored by a number of extremist labor activists and American labor unions, including SOLE (Students Organizing for Labor Equality) and the AFL-CIO, dictates that a strong code of conduct be included in all contracts Universities sign for the use of their logo. What sets the WRC apart from prior labor standards is its definition of “strong code of conduct” as well as its lack of organization. More specifically, the WRC dictates that firms pay “living wages,” guarantee the right to organize into a union, and have an extensive monitoring system. SOLE has won a series of battles against the University. Besides forcing membership into the WRC by hijacking the LSA Dean’s Office last year, they also won positions on the Advisory Committee on Labor Standards and Human Rights. Just this month, they pushed through their version of the apparel licensing code with a 7-2 vote. But these gains are ill gotten. The entire issue of enforcing sweatshop labor by levering the bargaining power of universities against companies is inappropriate, in that it is redundant. Per commerce laws, most goods imported into the United States must meet labor standards, which include many provisions

against sweatshop labor. But, if that is not enough, the FLA (Fair Labor Association), a non-government organization that monitors overseas labor standards, already serves as a watch dog against sweatshop labor. But beyond all of this, the root of the issue is actually something the extreme-left has been harping on for years – U$ Imperialism. Enforcing our labor standards on other countries is nothing more than a hegemonic spit in the face. Now, in certain circumstances this is an understandable justification, such as the situation in China regarding gross human rights abuses and its communist economy. But in the balance of cases, such as those in Mexico and other semi-organized countries, sending in US inspectors is nothing more than a signal to other countries that we do not trust them to handle their own labor problems. Additionally, most of these countries have expressed discontent with this practice. The imperialism argument can be extrapolated into a complicated economic argument, but the general gist is simple – small third-world economies cannot afford to pay the equivalent $12.85 an hour, a living wage, to a worker sewing shirts all day. As a matter of fact, the US economy could not handle such a shift, let alone an unstable economy like Mexico’s. Of course, SOLE would never mention this. Their rhetoric is all ideology with no solutions. Do they tell you what’s going to happen to the workers when their factory is closed down because a bunch of students in the United States forced Nike to stop making clothing there? No. Of course they go on to say what a wonderful life they’ll have, but the fact of the matter is that they are attempting to shrink the job market. Now, when your village only has one factory in it, and the next village with a factory is 40 Km away, you have nowhere

to go. For this reason and many others, it is inappropriate to apply US labor standards to developing countries. The idea of holding a corporation like Nike responsible is not appropriate. These companies are only middlemen in a long chain. In the vast majority of cases the factories found to be using sweatshop labor were not owned by Nike, but rather contracted out. In some situations, the number of subcontracts is enormous. Clothing companies are just a part of the process. A better solution to all of this is simple. Instead of showing distrust for these fledging countries by questioning their labor practices, the United States should take a lead in passive support. That is, offer loans and other economic incentives, as well as guidance upon request to these countries to allow their own economies to grow and end the inherent need for lowcost labor. That’s just it, low-cost labor is a necessity of a developing country. Growth begins with the labor force. Labor is in fact one of the driving forces in the economy, and as such, in a weak economy, labor is also weak. Artificially bolstering labor with living wages and other measures offsets the delicate balance of a capitalist economy. Price levels skyrocket, growth can be decimated and the entire situation can be worsened. Mexican workers wouldn’t work for so little if their country had anything better to offer. But the sad fact is that this is how economies work. They can only be aided by investment and guidance, not tinkering with the internal mechanisms. None of this justifies human rights abuses. If people are dying, or being forced to work, then there are already measures to take care of that. But beyond these, it is neither the right, nor the responsibility of the United States to artificially adjust the labor market of

another country. On a local level, the way this entire issue has been handled is no better. Last week, SOLE not only forced two pointless resolutions through the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) but also dug into their old bag of tricks and invaded President Bollinger’s office. The resolutions in MSA both denounced the University’s noncompliance with the new code the committee produced. Yet, Bollinger only received the proposed code a week ago. Of course he would want to investigate SOLE’s recommendations before adopting them. That is how policy is made: with prudence and judgment, not haste, especially when concerning the vast amounts of money the University brings in through licensing. Additionally, the new Nike contract does not include the committee’s recommended code, but rather the Collegiate Licensing Company Code (CLC). In fact, the University even amended that portion of the contract to further guaranteed some additional women’s rights and other items that were not covered in the CLC. But this is not enough for SOLE. In their endless cause-crazed fight, they want the University to both amend the current contract to meet the WRC/SOLE standards, and at the same time cancel the contract because of a number of minor labor squabbles in a Mexican Nike factory. SOLE and their cohorts want to make a difference, just like most students, but their means of accomplishing this are the problem. Unfortunately, they claim to represent the downtrodden and oppressed, but they don’t even offer solutions to those in peril. Instead of invading offices on campus, they might want to hit the books, look at some of the principles behind their fight for equality, and just maybe they will realize that forcing the University to sign WRC was not the best action to take. MR


to attend class. At the University of Michigan, we have few days off school in comparison to most other universities. Basically, we put our nose to the grindstone in September and work hard until April. Other universities have one week fall breaks, three weeks for winter, two for spring, and a long line of other holidays in-between, leaving school for summer break a mere two weeks after we do. Is it too much to ask that a day off is a day off, or do we have so few of them that the administration does not know how to deal with it when we do? I am not the exception that proves the rule either; I know

of at least four other classes that were held besides economics on either Sunday or Monday. I heard of some teachers simply saying that class was not mandatory, but material would be covered that will be on the exam. If I am not mistaken, such is the case with university classes everyday and still does not justify having class on a holiday or the weekend. Many people wanted to use the weekend to go visit home while their friends were still on winter break, others wanted to go on weekend trips with friends from Michigan, and I just wanted to watch a great day of football games. I don’t see any reason why we all couldn’t do any of

this. Its only an hour and a half, surely all is not lost if we skip it, and it is not like the holiday was a huge surprise. It was in bold on every school calendar, and you could not walk from one end of the campus to the other without seeing a sign. Lastly, I find it hypocritical for the University of Michigan, a proud bastion of civil rights, to fail to uphold the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday. Why even honor it with no regular classes and special events if some people can’t go to them because they have class anyway? MR

It’s Not Mandatory, Just on the Exam

N THE SEVENTH Day God took a break, so why shouldn’t we? I found out this was truly not the case when I attended regular University class on Sunday, January 13. The Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday had apparently left the Economics Department without any other options but to reschedule Economics 101 discussion sections for Sunday January 13, from 1–4pm. I was especially annoyed when I discovered that the discussion was being held during the NFC and AFC Championship games, so I missed a chunk of this annual football tradition in order

January 24, 2001




Page 5

Think Happy Thoughts

EOPLE WHO KNOW me know that I’m a decent guy to be around, only with an occasional mean streak of biblical proportions. I’ll admit it, I’m an angry guy. Piss me off, and in a few moments I’ll be imagining what you’d look like with a crowbar buried in your skull. My brother occasionally points out that my away messages are much too angry (something about gouging eyes out with a spork or chopping off thumbs with a James tomahawk.) He asks, “...but Jim, why are you so mad?” Well, there’s a lot of reasons, but one big reason is the Clinton presidency. If you liberals think you’re going to be pissed for the next four, possibly eight years, then you might have an inkling of how mad I was during the past eight years. But, eight years of Clinton are thankfully over, and maybe, just maybe, I might be able to find some happiness. (The Yankees won the World Series again, so that helps too.) So just what was it about eight years of Clinton that pissed me off so? Gee, where do I start? Let’s start from the beginning: It started with the election of 1992. Who knew that things would turn around so much for George Bush? And even if it was inevitable that twelve years of Republican rule must end, why did it have to be Bill Clinton, this pot-smoking, skirtchasing, draft dodging, white trash hillbilly? Why not Bob Kerrey, who not only had a Congressional Medal of Honor under his belt, but a prosthetic leg to show for it. And even though he wasn’t running, I would be fine with John Glenn as president. Instead we got a man who not only engineered his way out of the draft, but went abroad to protest the war. Being an immigrant from a country that still practiced conscription, the idea of a man evading his country’s call to arms and then protesting against it struck me as quite odd. I also remembered back to 1988, when some folks gave Dan Quayle a hard time for serving in the Indiana National Guard during the war instead of going to Vietnam, and how much of a scandal that was, and how avoiding service entirely somehow seemed even worse. Then he won. This man who wouldn’t go fight for his country became the Commander-in-Chief of it’s armed forces. And his “could’ve stayed home and baked cookies” wife became the First Lady. (“Lady” actually used to mean something.) Then they tried pushing that damn universal health plan. Things got better

when that blew up in their face. The Republican Revolution of 1994 then came, bringing some relief. But then they blew it, allowing Clinton to walk all over them and making them look like idiots. The government got shut down, and ever since then, Republican control of Congress has steadily eroded. Then came the scandals. From Paula Jones to Whitewater to Monica to Vince Foster to shredded documents to the White House travel office. Nothing Y. Yeh would stick, although Whitewater, Paula Jones and Monica would hound Clinton till the end. In my eyes, Hillary and Bill

some said, the President is a regular Joe, everyone has affairs, look at Europe. Yeah, well thankfully, we’re not Europe. Hey, they had genocide in Europe, let’s do that here too! And the President is not a regular Joe. A regular Joe does not get to use the most sophisticated 747 in the world as a private jet. A regular Joe does not get to initiate a nuclear exchange. A regular Joe doesn’t have his own Marine Band. The President of the United States is not a regular Joe. Maybe he was when he ran, and maybe he will be once he’s out of office, but as long as the Secret Service makes sure the people can’t threaten him like any other regular Joe, he’s not. Reagan wouldn’t take his jacket off in the Oval Office, Lord knows what Clinton took off. Congratulations America, we

Here was a sworn defender of the Constitution, vilifying millions of Americans for simply exercising their constitutional rights. Did I have a right to be angry? Hell yes. And was I? You’re damn right I was. were as bad as Bonnie and Clyde. The Republicans finally got something to stick with the Monica thing, but they screw that up too. And then the people. Do they think Bill is a scumbag? Yes. Do they think he’s trustworthy? No. Would they allow him to babysit their teenaged daughter? No. But would they allow him to continue running the country? Yes. Why, because they’re complacent. They’ve got their IPOs, their two gas-guzzling SUVs in their two car garages and the daytrading, so standing up for principle doesn’t matter anymore. Doing what’s right doesn’t matter when the money is good. Is that the kind of country we live in? Half the political science majors on this campus probably can’t explain the basics of the Iran-contra scandal that clouded the end of the Reagan years, but any six year old and tell you about how Clinton put his pee pee in the mouth of a woman that was not his wife and how he fibbed about it to everyone. Reagan not recalling the Iran-contra thing is plausible, for doctors think his Alzheimers started kicking in around then, but Clinton, a former law professor, is not sure what the definition of “is” is? She had sexual relations with you, but you didn’t have sexual relations with her because she was giving you a hummer? Someone should tell him that he shouldn’t use the same explanation to the independent counsel that he used on his wife. If it had been corporate America, and a CEO was caught banging the copy girl and then lied about it, where would he be? Oh well,

sold our integrity and national pride for that Ford Expedition that’s barely shoehorned into our garages. I hope it was worth it. In April of 2000, I became a gun owner for the first time. What until then had been just another issue for me had instantly become a personal issue. I now understand how women claim that men could never understand the issue of abortion, just as non-gun owners can never understand gun control. The questions on the form I had to fill out were some of the dumbest I had ever seen. (Are you a fugitive from the law?) How

dumb would a criminal have to be to go through all the legal ways of getting a gun just to commit a crime? But what does Clinton do? Blame gun owners for every shooting that occurs in this country. Two high schools go nuts in their high school in Colorado, and suddenly Charlton Heston and the entire NRA is responsible. People like me are somehow at fault because some nutcase shoots up an office building. Does the President blame Chastity Bono whenever a lesbian commits a crime? Does Bob Vila get the blame if someone slowly crushes a man’s skull in a Sears Craftsman bench vise? Here was a sworn defender of the Constitution, vilifying millions of Americans for simply exercising their constitutional rights. Did I have a right to be angry? Hell yes. And was I? You’re damn right I was. But the Clinton era is finished now. Clinton is still a young man, so he can watch as historians pick apart his legacy piece by piece, just as Jimmy Carter had to. We can now slow down that bullet train to hell that had been rapidly sped up during the Clinton years. And I can try to be more at peace. No more will my fellow gun owners be called accomplices to murder. No more will American’s integrity be bargained away for economic prosperity. I can’t remember how I felt back in 1992 when we still had a Republican president. I’ll try though, and with any luck, I’ll find happiness, and not just on a secluded range with a .22 and ten dollars worth of ammo. Ask me in 2004 how the last four years were, and hopefully, I’ll say they were great, and I won’t be imagining what you’d like with your brains leaking out of your ears. MR


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January 24, 2001


I Like My Values Just Fine


NE HUNDRED AND forty this. years ago, our great Republic America was founded as a compact was split down the middle, of thirteen different states, autonomous North against South. This was “pseudo-nations” which a trial by fire for the principles gave up a degree of their and “self evident truths” which freedom to unite as one the Declaration of great confederation in order Independence espoused and to ensure their personal the Constitution ignored. It liberties and rights as men. was not the North that won, Abraham Lincoln said it but the whole of the United best in his Gettysberg States, because there was Address: “Four score and finally a national standard for R. Colin seven years ago, our fathers the rights and dignities of men. forth upon this Painter brought One could say that America continent a new nation, had finally found her conceived in liberty, and conscience. dedicated to the proposition that all men Now we stand at the head of a new are created equal.” Our modern nation millennium, one which seems so full of disregards this notion; we are told some hope and promise, and yet I sense a new people are more equal than others, and division brewing in America. Not between instead of emphasizing hard work as a North and South, but between the virtue, it ingrains handouts as a right. Heartland and the Coasts; not abolitionists America doesn’t need another versus slaveowners, but rural versus urban. I agree with the great African American leader Alan Keyes when he says, “there is a moral crisis in America.” There is indeed, and there are no nice, neat geographic lines to draw around it, except that the cities are the hubs of degradation, while the countryside is still relatively serene. But after this last election, the quiet country dwellers are not going to shut up so quickly. Coming from small town Michigan, I can speak for many of my rural peers government agency or more tax money; when I say that we are tired of listening what it needs is a return to basics, a to the liberals in the big cities (many of reaffirmation of the principles upon which them on the coasts, i.e., far from here) our nation was conceived. This may trying to claim an ethical monopoly on surprise those smug liberals in New York, civic policy. They preach to us, we poor but the poor “huddled masses” of this dumb hicks, and tell us our guns are bad, country have amazing potential—give praying in school is wrong, and them the fishing rod, not the fish. For acceptance (if not outright promotion) of instance, Republicans believe in school “alternative lifestyles” is the only right vouchers, and so do most African thing to do. Abortion is good because it Americans. Why do they support the frees women from their terrible slavery, GOP in this one instance? Because they and minorities deserve special treatment know, better than any Democrat, that our because they aren’t white. Finally, children’s education is the most important education should focus on making kids investment we can make. Their children, feel good about themselves and emphasize many of whom are born into poverty, self esteem, rather than “obsolete” civic deserve every opportunity for education pride or “bigoted” religious virtue—not that any other public school student in to mention mathematics or grammar. this country deserves. What has happened to the America And where is it that so many of our grandparents? Have we fought a American parents are sending their civil war and two world wars only to lose children for their schooling? Not to the our Founding Fathers’ wisdom and our bureaucracy-bound, red-tape laden public national identity? People don’t help one schools, but to private religious schools. another anymore, the streets aren’t safe at Catholic or Protestant preparatory schools night, and elementary school children are still the norm, with an emphasis on from Singapore can do calculus while our fair play, hard work, morality, and high school graduates can hardly read a religious virtues. Many Muslim schools fast food menu. There is no reason to are appearing in inner cities, offering the accept this fate, and it wasn’t always like same high quality of education mixed with

spiritual fortitude, a godsend to the multitudes in slums just begging for opportunity. Unfortunately, these measures are often not popular with liberal demagogues like Al Gore, who say religion has no place in schools where children supposedly learn how to become industrious and well rounded adults. “One nation under God, with liberty and justice for all;” the founding fathers never wanted anyone of any religion to be oppressed in this nation of immigrants, and though they emphasized God in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, they never specified any religious preference. But they did realize a very fundamental truth, that everyone needs spiritual growth and guidance in their lives. The old saying says “there are no atheists in foxholes,” and there is some truth in this. In times of great difficulty, people turn to something greater than themselves, such as a god, to

They preach to us, we poor dumb hicks, and tell us our guns are bad, praying in school is wrong, and acceptance (if not outright promotion) of “alternative lifestyles” is the only right thing to do. give them strength. Even atheists feel a need for inner strength, though they may find it in other ways—still, the concept is

the same. Many rural Americans have found their education opportunites to be as bad as those in the inner cities—judge for yourself if a poor coal miner in West Virginia has any more opportunity than someone from Harlem. However, instead of supporting these people, our liberal demagogues throw a little money their way (which is squanderd by govenrment bureaucrats) and steal away their hope by telling them that prayer for redemption while in a public school is “bad.” In addition to education I also mentioned abortion, gun rights, and “alternative lifestyles.” In my mind, prompting someone to get an abortion is akin to asking someone to commit murder. Many Midwesterners agree with me, and certainly this view gains more acceptance in the countryside than in the cities. Why should I have to listen to some rant from a pansy city boy with no damn morality whatsoever, if he is way out in New York and I’m here in the great state of Michgian? You can guess my positions on gun ownership (I wish we could walk around with concealed M-16’s) and acceptance of alternative lifestyles (hippies and communists may ave civil rights, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept them, any more than I should accept a Klan member or a neo-Nazi). If these views are unpopular in the urban jungles, that’s fine by me. But respect the countryside, don’t call us hicks, and keep your immorality to yourselves. MR

Mets Manager Bobby Valentine (right) sent an obnoxious protestors “to the showers” during the Presidential Inauguration. And the crowd went wild.

January 24, 2001


the Streets” and “This is OUR Issue.” These students were not received warmly by BAMN, and when one BSU supporter stepped up to the microphone, she was repeatedly accosted by principal BAMN members. Aleobua herself even started a scuffle with the representative at the end of the rally. In their desperate attempt to destroy one boy’s sign, and silence an agreeing opposition, the militant members of the crowd forgot the true meaning of Martin Luther King’s Dream. Regardless

Continued from Page 1 Affirmative Action; in fact, he disagrees with it very strongly. So strongly that he feels he must express this feeling publicly. Hence, at every major pro-Affirmative Action event, he brings a simple sign to voice his opinion. For the MLK Day march, it simply read: “Realize MLK’s TRUE Dream; Affirmative Action is Racism.” Last time he did this, during AA 102, he was assaulted and berated for his views. MLK Day was no different. As soon as Dancy displayed his sign, he was immediately shouted at, taunted and mocked. Marching at the front of the

Above) Marchers gather in front of the library. To BAMN’s surprise a group from the BSU show up with signs protesting their movement. Right) Dancy proudly holds his sign as the march continues towards the Diag.

Left) Dancy carries a sign that reads: “Realize MLK’s TRUE Dream: Affirmative Action IS RACISM.” Luckily, police were in the area to protect him.

snowballs at the hapless Dancy. The march ended on the Diag, where Dancy was swarmed, first by angry protesters (who finally succeeded in ripping apart his sign), then by reporters covering the event. He was questioned repeatedly about why he felt the way he

of the views of people on Affirmative Action, or any other issue, for that matter, King would want all parties to be peaceful in their expressions. His numerous sitins, petitions, and peaceful gatherings earned him the place of respect in our society that he deserves. Instead of

did, as if his beliefs were taboo. As attention-grabbing as Dancy’s sign was, it was nothing compared to what happened next. The few hundred BAMN supporters were immediately disrupted by a large group of minority students; most notably, several members of the Black Student Union (BSU). While the BSU supports Affirmative Action and other Progressive causes, it strongly disagrees with BAMN. They believe that BAMN has no place in the University, as it is run by nonstudents and admitted communists from Detroit . Holding aloft signs reading “No Justice, No Peace, Keep BAMN Off

approaching Mr. Dancy peaceably, they simply threw insults and snowballs. And then, when the BSU students simply wanted to express their opinion (which was in support of Affirmative Action), they were accosted as well. Instead of everyone loving their fellow man, the March for Peace was a March for Anger and Hate. What kind of corruption is this? As though BAMN does not cause enough problems with the campus Right, now they are causing infighting amongst like-minded liberals! Enough is enough, BAMN needs to be removed from campus. MR

crowd, facing the masses with his sign held high, Dancy was nearly tackled on one occasion by a hatemonger in the crowd. The display of his sign served to only intensify the already raging crowd. Sparked by chants of “Hey hey, ho ho, Affirmative Action will not go,” and led by BAMN activist Agnes Aleobua and the U of M’s resident revolutionary communist Luke Massie, the militant crowd marched through downtown Ann Arbor, seeming to chase the peaceful Dancy. At one point, several marchers ran up to him, and tried to rip his sign

Instead of everyone loving their fellow man, the March for Peace was a March for Anger and Hate. apart. Dancy challenged them stating, “King was peaceful!” The reply? “I’ll be peaceful as soon as you let me rip up that sign!” Fortunately for the marcher, Massie ended the scuffle. However, hopes for a peaceful march were dashed when Massie himself then led the crowd in hurling

Page 7




FIGHT DIVIDED. Not a fight between different views but a fight for the same thing divided by lies, indifference, and the inability to work together. This is what the affirmative action debate is all about. I am for affirmative action. I am a black American who believes that all minority races deserve their fair share. Minorities are not here to be learned upon like rats that give a little diversity to the maze, but as intelligent, deserving individuals. Unfortunately, the members of BAMN have proven to me that this fight is not for everyone but just them and their little “society.” My experience was unique; I went from being an ingenious leader of students to a traitor in less than one hour. BAMN, DAAP, the “coalition”, or whatever tries to be all about the cause, but lies behind it. Any group that can only use high school kids instead of real University students is a problem for me. These kids are not us. They do not go to college classes, working their tails off to prove to the world that we are all deserving. BAMN has tried and failed to be the leaders of this University. No one cares to associate themselves with this group due to the non-student leaders, the separation they use from other groups that care like SOLE, BSU, the Native Americans, Latino’s, and a substantial amount of white Americans. By the way, theses groups are by the students for the students, which BAMN is not. Sure BAMN can claim that no one else is out there caring about this important factor except for them, but I am sure that is not the case. I believe that them making such a judgment is unfair. Yet, you must consider that BAMN members do not associate themselves with any other student groups. Affirmative action is more about understanding, reasoning, working TOGETHER, and sharing. Some of these elements are severely lacking within BAMN. These people think affirmative action is about putting some races in school and raising a damn quota. That is utter bullsh*t. It is about giving people with potential who are underprivileged due to racism a chance in any institutition of education or work. BAMN is bad news flat out. BAMN has no right claiming on television that U of M students came out to support the affirmative action cause when it was not true. BAMN does not speak for us. This group is tearing away the student mind with the interruption of classes,the constant phone calls and Diag assaults. BAMN has no right to deceive us any longer. That is not what great civil rights movements are about. So why is it that way with this one?MR

Page 8



Drive Thru Scandal


HEN BUSINESSMAN LaVan Hawkins paired up with Burger King in 1996, he said his plan was to open 225 franchises in urban areas, bringing economic prosperity and jobs to areas in need. In a 1996 press conference, Hawkins’ company, Urban City Foods, announced that it would initially open 125 franchises, and that a deal was in the works to open 100 more. Burger King refutes this claim and denies ever agreeing to open more than 25 stores with Hawkins. Their account is that the agreement was for up to 25 restaurants and that another 100 sites were still under discussion. Despite their differences over the initial agreement, Hawkins and Burger King began their venture at a White House press conference with President Clinton on February 22, 1996. The deal began to sour, however, when Hawkins failed to live up to his responsibilities as a franchisee. In early 1998, Burger King began to receive default notices from vendors, and Hawkins was late time and again in paying the company rent and royalties. Exercising patience, Burger King decided to help Hawkins recover and gave


Continued from Page 3 New York Mets manager Bobby Valentine intervened and sent the idiot packing. He may have lost the World Series, but he won our respect. After what must have been one of the most heartfelt performances of the StarSpangled Banner, we set off (once again, in long lines) to Holocaust Museum. Along the way, we bumped into one of the DC locals, a man who was pouring a can of Coke into huge-bottle of vodka; he had evidently gotten that whole “cocktail” thing backwards. Fifty-five gallons of gas, 3 Big Mac Attacks, and one disgusting hotel room in Laurel, MD later, all of us have a renewed reverence for the American Presidency. We know that George W. Bush will restore it back to the institution that our founding fathers created so many years ago. God Bless President Bush and God Bless America.MR

Dear ReaderWe appologize for making you jump 3 pages for that last article. We know this is not a choose your own adventure. We won’t let it happen again. -eds.

him a $4 million dollar loan to get back on his feet—something the company had never done in its history. At the time, Hawkins had 22 franchises, an amount he says was not enough for him to turn a profit. Denied the right to open any new franchises in light of his debt and pitiful record with the company, Hawkins maintains that Burger King was purposely holding him down for partially racial reasons. Burger King asserts that their refusal to grant Hawkins more franchises is solely because of his unpaid debts and poor record with the company.

overall. Hawkins remarks that although he does not have a high school diploma, he is “blessed with an MBA and a Ph.D. in Blackology.” Hawkins has recently teamed with the Rev. Al Sharpton, who shares the entrepeneur’s “beef ” with the company. Sharpton initially threatened a nationwide boycott of Burger King, but then decided that a city-by-city boycott would be best. The Reverend’s complaints include Burger King’s lack of an African-American role in advertising contracts and investment banking in their planned initial public

January 24, 2001

the site sits empty, and Hawkins hasn’t paid a dime. The lawsuit is pending. Perhaps part of Hawkins’ problems with payment lies in the lifestyle he lives. Driving Bentleys and Rolls Royces, Hawkins owns six houses, and his office boasts a marble floor, mirrored walls, and a $300,000 collection of art. Hawkins won the first round of court battles, and continues to mislead the public with a massive advertising and postcard campaign against Burger King. What began as a noble cause to bring jobs and prosperity to an area in desperate need of

What began as a noble cause to bring jobs and prosperity to an area in desperate need of help has disintegrated into a mound of racial and ethical accusations. In a desperate attempt to reassert himself, Hawkins filed a $1.9 billion lawsuit alleging fraud, misrepresentation, racial discrimination, and breach of contract. Burger King contends that every aspect of Hawkins’ complaint is false and that he simply wants to avoid paying his debts—debts exceeding $6.5 million to Burger King and $30 million

offering, in addition to complaints regarding the situation with Hawkins. As it turns out, Hawkins’ credit problems with Burger King are just the tip of his iceberg of unpaid bills, defaulted contracts, and unpaid debts. In 1998, Hawkins announced plans to open a Perkins family restaurant at Seven Mile and Meyers in Detroit. The lease sits signed,

help has disintegrated into a mound of racial and ethical accusations. What could have become will never be because of misunderstandings and poor business practices. La-Van Hawkins will never realize his dream of urban prosperity with Burger King, but maybe…hopefully he will find it elsewhere.MR

MSA Update: The Drama Continues



INCE AL GORE lost the Presidency, would it be plausible for him to go out and form a new United States? Well, after Jessica Curtin lost her precious BAMN front, formerly known the MSA Peace and Justice Commission, she decided to lobby for a new communist group under a new name: The Affirmative Action Task Force. The DAAP party did not think that newly nominated committee chair, James Justin Wilson, would devote enough time to their cause. Without giving him a chance to prove himself, the agenda was set. During the January 9 th MSA meeting, the assembly voted for the new task force. It would receive MSA funding as well as an office. While it is known that not all representatives agree with affirmative action, they are more worried about their political future than the future of this university. After all the note passing and looks across the table were finished, it was inevitable that the motion would pass anyway. So why not compromise your own beliefs to save five minutes of time? Now that the task force was set up, the time had come to elect the chair. It was rumored that assembly members did not want Jessica Curtin or Erika Dowdell to take charge, for fear that BAMN would once again have its way with MSA

funds. Curtin, however, had her mind set on the position. Since the task force was her brilliant idea, she assumed that she could easily take the helm. At the January 16 th meeting, the nominations began. Diego Bernal and Amer Zahr were in the running together against Curtin. They offered kindly to have a three-person chair. After much deliberation (in reality, after she realized she would lose) she agreed. The motion passed, and for a while DAAP will be content.

MSA code, omitting references to the Open Meetings Act, and pushed, instead, for open committee elections on the grounds of “accountability” to the student constituency. Several members took exception to the motion, citing Curtin’s continued efforts to fill MSA meetings with BAMN members to intimidate the voting assembly. Fortunately, the motion failed by the narrowest of margins: 16 to 17. After the politics were finished, MSA decided to give away all of its money for

While it is known that not all representatives agree with affirmative action, they are more worried about their political future than the future of this university. Moving on to the next issue of trying to regain control of the Peace and Justice Chair, a motion was made to have a revote. Because all public bodies in the state of Michigan must have an open ballot for selecting committee members, Curtin thought this was her way back to the top. However, a University lawyer determined that the UM student government did not fall under the purview of this law. In light of these new findings, Curtin revised her original amendment to the

this semester. The Earth day cause received $700, which will probably be used to make fliers, which involves wasting paper and cutting down trees. Needless to say, MSA needs to be more concerned with how it is controlling student’s money and truly representing their views. This new assembly seems more concerned with covering there own political behinds than dealing with important issues.MR

January 24, 2001


Page 9


Blood, Sweat and Tears vs. ACTs and GPAs BY RUBEN DURAN


ICHIGAN. THE VERY word puts the fear of God into Midwestern football, basketball and hockey players alike. Hell hath no fury like a Michigan offensive line, or a Bluepowered Penalty Kill unit. Chants of Go Blue! and cow bells ringing are all-too familiar to most University students. The very power of Michigan athletics is pure art. This school is known for being very selective, not only in academics, but also in athletics, and rightly so. If one wishes to become a Michigan student, one must be exemplary. For most, this feat of greatness is shown in the classroom. For a select few, it is shown on the playing field. For these select few, the world is viewed differently. It is not one of integrals and term papers, but of muscle, sweat, blood and perseverance. Both require determination and hard work, both require a lifetime of personal

not because we have a great engineering school. Every time a license is sold to a clothing company that will use U of M’s logo, that’s money to the school. These revenues are then used to bring about

school improvements, finance recreational activities and add to the school’s general fund. Thus, the athletes of this school work hard to represent, with the end result being more funds for the University. There are many arguments that the athletic department siphons off money for “fringe” benefits that could otherwise

They bring media attention, TV viewers and, most noticeably, they fill the Big House. These athletes bring tremendous revenues to the school, as well as national recognition. development and direction. Athletes and scholars (for in all honesty, there are few true “scholar” athletes) are both admitted to this University on a very strict basis, and it is considered an honor to be a Michigan athlete, and equitable honor to be a Michigan student. So why not offer scholarships to athletes? Athletes have done no less work to reach the plateau of greatness. The athletes of this University work hard to get here. Each year, hundreds, if not thousands of athletes apply, or “try out” for their respective teams, which are very selective. Very few of the athletes on “M” sports teams are “walk-ons.” Most are funded through athletic scholarships. Just as the intelligentsia of this University are rewarded with scholarships for their past and future accomplishments, so are the athletes who spend a great balance of their lives honing their skills. Am I saying that running 40 meters in 4.5 seconds is equivalent to a 1580 SAT? Hell no. What I AM saying is that athletes do their part for this school. The University of Michigan “M” logo is the most marketed of all collegiate logos. It is also by far the most recognizable. I promise you, this is

be used for “regular” students. I disagree. I believe that the athletic programs (let’s be realisitc: men’s basketball, men’s hockey and football) not only fund themselves, but also promote themselves, so that more high-caliber athletes want to come here. Thus, still more revenues are collected, and more funds generated for the school. Also, the programs (such as tutoring and study tables) are available to all students in one form or another; students will not be denied any service offered by the school.



HE UNIVERSITY OF Michigan is loaded with big name athletes: Drew Henson, David Terrell, LaVell Blanchard, Courtney Goebel . . . huh? What, the last one not ringing a bell? You know, the much hyped freshman golfer out of Huntington Beach, California. Still not doing it for you? That’s ok. The majority of students here—and collegiate sports fans in the rest of the country—probably don’t pay attention to anything but football, basketball and hockey. Somehow, women’s golf must have gotten lost in the midst of the athletic department, along with tennis, water polo, track and field, etc. And it’s not because we’re talking about women’s athletics here either. Although few will argue that at present men are simply stronger, faster and more agile than women, it is not impossible for a women’s athletic event to be a big draw. Just look at the growing popularity of the University of Tennessee’s women’s basketball team. Now there’s a dynasty. No, what’s at issue here is the state of athletics as a whole on the university level. Did you know that exempting a few large schools such as the U-M, most universities lose money on their football programs? That’s right, football. The one sport that garners the most press and uses the most funds. And speaking of money, just where is that money coming from? You can bet that a portion of your tuition is going to Drew Henson’s quaterback coach. And you can also bet that a portion of your tuition is also going to Courtney Goebel’s Michigan letter jacket, warm-ups, travel expenses and oh yeah, tuition. Let’s see, out-of-state tuition for the average student runs in the ball park of $20,000 a year. That’s a pretty deep hole when you consider four years of tuition plus living expenses. Now consider an

Maybe if we devote proportional funds towards recruiting the best students in the country, we can make some progress in that direction. David Terrell, Drew Henson and Anthony Thomas are all recognizable names in Michigan athletics. They bring media attention, TV viewers and, most noticeably, they fill the Big House. These athletes bring tremendous revenue to the school, as well as national recognition. What better way to reward this small group of students than to fund their education and offer “frills” that encourage them to come here?MR

out-of-state “student”-athlete. It’s pretty safe to assume that most of the out-ofstate athletes are on some kind of athletic scholarship, seeing as how they would have been, in all likelihood, highly recruited. The proportion of athletes on scholarship as compared to students is in no way equitable. How many out-of-state students do you know on half and full-rides

from the university? Not many? Didn’t think so. So why are athletes given such preferential treatment? Extra points in admissions (even though many did not have the academic qualifications to compete), free tuition (although many will not attend class), free clothing (why can’t everyone get a Michigan jumpsuit?), and God knows what else under the table (cars?, apartments?, cash?). Is all this so that the we can boast that we have the third best athletic department in the country, behind UCLA and Stanford? You know what would sound a lot better: saying we have the third best academic program in the country. And let’s not get into all this “well-rounded” student body crap. That’s a load of hogwash. The University of Michigan prides itself on being one of the finest institutions of higher education in the world. Maybe it’s time we started treating our students (both current and prospective) as if that were true. Maybe it’s time we cut scholarships to athletes and started channeling that money into more academic advisors, the promotion of smaller classes and less of those taught by unqualified GSIs. Drew Henson, David Terrell, LaVell Blanchard and Courtney Goebel should consider playing for the U-M a privilege. They should not have to be compensated, with resources that could be better spent elsewhere, in order to do what they love. Thousands of other students here do what they love, and they do it free of charge. College Republicans and College Democrats alike. Athletic scholarships are a burden on the university. And we are not alone. Nearly every school in the country faces the same fate. It’s a part of life. Competition for the top athletes at the most prestigious schools, with the most history, and the greatest shot at a national championship drive these schools to offer lucrative packages to these athletes. The athletes, in turn, give the schools exposure through national television and endorsement deals. And maybe that’s not so bad after all. What’s troubling is that the universities have not realized that the same competition for top students can produce similar exposure. The University of Michigan gives a huge proportion of its scholarship money towards the recruitment and eventual signing of football players . . . and we have the best football program in the country. Maybe if we devote proportional funds towards recruiting the best students in the country, we can make some progress in that direction. MR

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January 24, 2001

Ashcroft Attacks Largely Unfounded



HE CONFIRMATION HEARINGS for Attorney General-designate John Ashcroft began this Tuesday (01/16) with strident opposition from several voices both inside and outside the Russel Senate Caucus room. Leading the dissent are prominent Democratic Senators Edward Kennedy, Dianne Feinstein, and Joseph Biden, along with a coalition of pro-abortion and civilrights groups including the ACLU, NAACP, NARAL, and the Planned Parenthood Federation of America. The main points of contention center around Ashcroft’s professed opposition to abortion, his role in blocking the federal court appointment of Ronnie White, a black justice on the Missouri Supreme Court, and for his reluctance, as Missouri governor, to implement a federal district court’s mandate for a tax increase, aimed to offset past injustices dealt to some minority groups. Some of the other concerns raised by Ashcroft’s opponents include his willingness to accept an honorary degree from Bob Jones University and for his warm comments regarding the patriotism of Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis, during a 1998 interview with Southern Partisan Magazine. Although one may rightly argue that associating with the likes of Bob Jones and “southern pride” magazines is poor political strategy, mere association does not make the nominee racist. To truly determine if Ashcroft were insensitive to the concerns of minorities, one would have to point to objective historical evidence, of which there is little to none. One of the chief concerns raised by Ashcroft’s opponents is that his strong

political views may keep him from enforcing laws with which he disagrees. As a former attorney general for the state of Missouri in the 1980s, Ashcroft was charged with enforcing the laws of the state, and he did so with much zeal. It was, in fact, the ex-Senator’s fear that Justice Ronnie White was “soft on crime” that he lead the Senate fight against the judge’s federal appointment. Given the A.G.-designate’s ardent moral opposition to abortion, some Senators have questioned his willingness to defend abortion rights. But there is nothing in Ashcroft’s past to suggest he

forces in the Senate, it seems that he would have needed a much more vigorous defense against those who vehemently oppose his “civil-rights” record. After Ronnie White’s bid for a federal judge position was blocked by then Senator Ashcroft in 1998, many African-American leaders and liberal sympathizers charged the Missouri statesman with “racism.” These charges surfaced despite Ashcroft’s friendly relations with black Americans in his own state prior to the White affair, and his appointment, as Missouri governor, of several blacks to political and judicial positions. Disregarding evidence

Rather than racism, the nominee’s motives seem to stem from his support for the “separation of powers,” prescribed by the Constitution. would shrink from his professional responsibilities, and indeed, such neglect would run counter to his principled nature. On the first day of his confirmation hearing, Ashcroft reiterated his devotion to the entire law, even to those laws with which he does not agree. Recognizing that the Roe v. Wade abortion ruling is the “settled law of the land,” the nominee says he has no intention of overturning the decision, and claims that, since “the Supreme Court very clearly doesn’t want to deal with that issue again,” any challenges to the law on his behalf would only serve to undermine the “standing and prestige” of the administration he wishes to join. Although during the confirmation process Ashcroft offered a relatively benign message to pro-abortion

to the contrary, Rep. Maxine Waters (DCali.) was quick to attribute the Senator’s actions to racism. In the wake of White’s defeat, Waters released the following statement to the press: “I know a racist when I see one. Senator Ashcroft acts like a racist, walks like a racist, and talks like a racist”. Despite these strong charges, the nominee’s history does not lend itself to supporting Waters’ allegations. During the confirmation hearing, Ashcroft sought to set the record straight on the Ronnie White appointment scandal. Ashcroft’s disapproval of the White confirmation was based upon the judge’s decision to acquit a death-row inmate who had been previously convicted of murdering a Missouri sheriff. Ashcroft interpreted the results of this case to mean that White

was “soft on crime.” This conclusion seems curious since White had approved of the majority of death sentence cases that fell under his purview as Missouri Supreme Court Justice. Nevertheless, true to his principles, Ashcroft was unable to justify murder in this case and rightfully inquired into White’s motives. In addition to the Ronnie White scandal, civil rights groups have been incredulous as to the designate’s decision to block a federal court mandate requiring a Missouri tax increase to compensate racial minorities for educational disparities in the state. Since his days as Missouri governor, Ashcroft has remained indignant toward the court’s decision to write public policy. He contends that the court overstepped its bounds in the tax ruling; stating that it is the duty of the courts to interpret the laws, not write them. Rather than racism, the nominee’s motives seem to stem from his support for the “separation of powers”, as prescribed by the Constitution. Despite several attacks and allegations, it seems apparent that John Ashcroft will become the next Attorney General of the United States. While his strong opposition to abortion and vigorous objection to Ronnie White’s federal appointment might have raised legitimate questions as to Ashcroft’s ability to fairly execute the law, a closer inspection of his record seems to exonerate him from any charges of racism or differential law enforcement. Justification for further opposition would seem to come from purely ideological objection to his political views. History suggests that the former Senator is principled and ardently supports the rule of law. These qualities will suit him well as the next Justice Department head. MR

The Juice Isn’t Loose The Lowdown on California’s Energy Crisis

B Y R YAN S ERRA In 1975, the population of the California was approximately 20 million people, rivaling New York for the title of the most populous state in the union. Since then, the lure of beautiful weather, beaches, and women has attracted the interests of countless more—causing the citizenry to swell to well in excess of 34 million, with a projected peak of 40 million by the beginning of 2010. With this nearly 70% increase in population has come tremendous advancements in industry, commerce, technology, infrastructure, and overall quality of life; that is, of course, with the exception of one vital component, electricity. While the population of the Golden State has exploded, its ability to quench its ever expanding thirst for energy

has not. To this point, California’s capacity to generate power has remained relatively unchanged, as no new power plants have been constructed since the early 1980s. In fact, the only major action to adversely affect this has been the order to dismantle the San Onofre Nuclear Power Generation Station (SONGS) located just south of San Clemente, roughly half way between San Diego and Los Angeles. However, given the current situation, this has been temporarily commuted. Trouble began to brew around the mid 1990s when, after realizing that the buffer between maximum generating capacity and consumption had dwindled below 5%, population growth was hitting record highs. Fortunately, the powers that be recognized and presented one of

several propositions to construct at least one or more power plants within the general California electrical grid. However, this was promptly shot down by our conscientious naturalist friends, who claimed that the addition of such a plant would cause harm to the environment. Additionally, they called for the dismantling of all nuclear power plants, citing the extremely hazardous nature of the waste produced. As a result of their inordinately powerful lobby, no new plants were produced, and the California legislature remained satisfied with cutting in deeper and deeper into the precious remaining modicum of surplus power. Now, there is a crisis. What these unrealistic earthen idealists failed to realize is that energy doesn’t just fall out of the sky. Well,

actually it does, just not in a form we can use efficiently. Now, society is paying the price for their ivory-towered short sightedness. Last month, California reached its capacity. At this point, should nothing be done to control the excess demand on electricity, according the MSNBC, the entire electrical grid would become over taxed and collapse. Therefore, as an emergency measure, Southern California Edison, the local branch of Edison International, has begun instituting a series of rolling blackouts that will continue indefinitely until a solution may be found. This has resulted in, billions of dollars

Energy Continued on next page

FACE-OFF January 24, 2001


Sound Loaded: Worth the Bang for your Buck? BY GINA FRATERNALI


F RICKY MARTIN is good enough for the Presidential Inauguration, he is good enough to be reviewed in our music section. For those of you not caught up on Ricky Martin’s musical history as a single performer, he has released Sound Loaded three albums, his latest being Columbia Sound Loaded. Its fifteen tracks have garnered much attention; besides the inaugural ceremonies, he will be appearing on the Super bowl pre-game show and just shot a music video in Miami with Christina Aguilera for their duet “Nobody Wants to be Lonely.” His hit single, “She Bangs,” has earned him a Grammy nomination for Best Male Pop Performance. With all

of these credentials for Sound Loaded, the real question is, is the album worth buying? If you are expecting a repeat of the same type of music from his American debuting album, Ricky Martin, you couldn’t be farther from the truth. Ricky Martin was filled with a diverse number of songs, some with Latin beats and others with slow romantic silhouettes. However, Sound Loaded tends to be more sexually orientated with the same “sound” track after track. The single sensation “She Bangs” resembles “Shake Your Bon Bon” from his previous track. While the music video has been successful on MTV’s TRL, it is only because of Martin’s dancing. The truth of the matter is, this song, along with most other tracks, was made to dance to. I doubt this CD was made to satisfy Martin’s inner soul’s desire to make music; like most other

An Open Letter to Frito Lay BY KURT RADEMACHER Dear Frito Lay, I very much enjoy your delicious products, namely the Nacho Cheesier flavor of Doritos. I opened the latest bag with two intentions, one of which was to consume the delightful chips inside and the other was to play the “Find the

maybe even “I’m sorry, you’re not good enough and you probably never will be.” I am your valued customer and that would make me feel better. I understand that everybody should have a shot at winning the “Find the Winning Plays” contest but since I eat Doritos and people sending in a self addressed stamped envelope don’t, I

I understand that everybody should have a shot at winning the “Find the Winning Plays” contest but since I eat Doritos and people sending in a self addressed stamped envelope don’t, I probably deserve to win more. Winning Plays” sweepstakes. Although I found plenty of chips I did not find any “Find the Winning Plays” game cards and, although I was warned that not every bag contains such a card, I still felt like I deserved a shot. I’ve gained fifty pounds in the past six months from eating your products and have yet to win a Super Bowl trip. I found that it is possible to send a self addressed stamped envelope for a free game piece, but I had a few concerns with this. First of all, since not every bag comes with a game piece, do you return some of the envelopes back empty so those people can feel cheated like I do now with my empty bag of Doritos or does every self-addressed stamped envelope come back to its sender with a game piece and a chance to win a Super Bowl trip? If so, why do people who haven’t had to suffer through your heartattacks-in-a-bag get a game piece while I don’t? If you do send back one out of every two self addressed stamped envelopes without a game piece do you send a message like “please try again,” or “why can’t you try to win fairly like everybody else by buying Doritos?” or

probably deserve to win more. I think you should hit those people who send you a self-addressed stamped envelope. It seems to be a testament to the state of society today that people don’t have to eat an entire bag of Doritos to get a chance to go to the Super Bowl for life while instead taking the easy way out by carefully addressing one envelope with the Frito Lay address and then another with their own address and inserting one of those envelopes into the other. I’ve been eating huge quantities of the vegetable oil, monosodium glutamate, and disodium phosphate you bake into your chips in an attempt to acquire a game piece and, although the Doritos were very good, it just doesn’t seem like enough. If you don’t feel like hitting the people who send you a self addressed stamped envelope, try sending them those envelopes filled with pressurized ink so everybody else can see the type of people who would send in a self addressed stamped envelope instead of eating Doritos. Also, consider not giving away tickets to this year’s Super Bowl. It will be 0-0. MR

pop music; money was the bottom line. The CD had to be manufactured so it could be marketed through music videos, calendars, and “books.” To buy this album for the music, it is not worth your money. Download the possible three hits off the Internet. However, if you are into the look of Ricky Martin, Sound Loaded is definitely worth buying. The cover jacket is filled with bulletin board-worthy pictures. As with most pop music fans, the quality of the music really doesn’t matter, just the fact that it has the right artist’s name is enough to buy and listen to it. And people say that classics are dying out… For more information on Ricky Martin’s music, visit (it is in offered in many different languages).MR Staff Picks for 2000 Conspiracy of One - The Offspring "It really returned the band to its roots...departed from the crap that Americana was, and went back to the hard-core beats of Smash and Ixnay. Overall an awesome album. Go ahead and buy it. You know you want to." Ruben Duran One - Beatles "Thirty years after the Beatles broke up, their music still rocks. One provided a great mix of everything that the Beatles were and still are. You get a good splattering of the feel-good rock that they started with and also a good splattering of the good stuff they put out in the end." - James Yeh Mer De Noms - A Perfect Circle "When the hypnotic vocals of Tool combine with a more mellow kind of rock, an album without one bad track is made. This band has a strong future." -John Pratt Country Grammar - Nelly "This cd not only mixes the flavors of hip-hop and pop music well, but it also generates a good deal of play at parties and clubs." Crush - Bon Jovi "That 'It's My Life' song reminds me of Rabeh. *sigh*" - Ryan Painter Kid A - Radiohead "I'm impressed that Radiohead can put out a good album each time while completely reinventing their style at the same time." - Matthew Franczak Tomorrow’s Sounds Today Dwight Yoakam “Well, it was the only new album I bought this year.” - Tyce De Boer

Page 11

ENERGY Continued from previous page per day lost by the thousands of businesses and plants who rely on electricity in order function. Hospitals are having to reduce the number of procedures they conduct because their backup power generators are not sufficient to the task. Countless tons of food stuffs and other parishables are spoiling as a result as well. Certainly, this has had a chatestrophic impact on the solvency of this, the seventh largest economy in the world. Apparently, those who oppose the development and expansion of power plants and other such necessities of social infrastructure are not students of history. If there is anything from which we may learn from out past, it is that, in order for one entity to expand, another must be reduced. If one were to look back to the events which gave rise to the tremendous expansion of the California population, they would see that the good of the people was given precidences over that of the land they inhabited. The most prominent example of which may be found with Los Angeles’ magical ability to give life to the arid desert. When that area was first settled, the resident water supply would only support a population of roughly 100,000 before being completely exhausted. Today, the population of the LA metropolitan area is well in excess of 18 million people. This was only made possible by a man named William Mulholland shrewdly exploiting the land around him. He built two massive dams, and a series of waterworks that extended over 300 miles from the Colorado River to the LA basin, meanwhile destroying thousands of acres in the process. This was never frowned upon because water is one of the essential elements of life. However, given the current state of society, it would not be unreasonable to claim the electricity has also become one of those essential elements. Ultimately, the solution to this problem must be found in the form of alternative energy sources. However, in the meantime, new plants must be constructed. Preferably, these would be nuclear powered, as they generate the least amount of waste. Furthermore given our now 50 years of experience in dealing with such waste, the hazard potential is substantially low considering the fact it produces no other harmful side effects. With any luck, society as a whole will learn from the folley of California’s short sightedness and make a concerted effort to find a better way to light it’s future. MR



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