Page 1

Libertarians Have "High" Hopes For Marijuana Legalization By




VER THE PAST few years, voters in seven states have passed ballot propositions legalizing socalled "medicinal marijuana." Now, if Greg Schmid gets his way, Michigan citizens will soon get a similar opp<?rtunity to liberalize drug laws. Mr. Schmid, a Saginaw lawyer, is director of the Personal Responsibility Amendment 2000 Com mittee, an organization dedicated to getting marijuana reform on the November 2000 Michigan ballot. To that end, the Committee has authored an amendment to Michigan's state constitution, known as the Personal Responsibility Amendment 2000 (PRA). The Amendment, if enacted, would actually go one step further than its predecessors by decriminalizing the production, possession, and consumption of small quantities of marijuana for all personal uses


- not just medical purposes. Still, before the Amendment finds its way on the November ballot, much less the Michigan legal code, it faces a long uphill battle. Just to qualifY for a spot on the ballot, the Co mmittee must accumulate over 300,000 signatures within a six- month time frame. Not only that, but the State

requires all ballot drives to adhere to a series of stringent regulations. For instance, if two people from different counties or townships sign the same petition form, their signatures are invalidated. Additionally, no scanned or photocopied petition forms are permitted - even if they have the exact same language as the original form. Then, once on the ballot, Michigan's voters could vote it up or down. To persuade the electorate to adopt the PRA probably would require a significant advertising budget-to distribute . information, buy 30 second television commercials etc. The Committee however, is currently spending all its resources on

See DRUGS, Page 5

t {<.,' ()n l.)!'uN ln~j,'s 禄' 2000. net




campaign Ihis local iniriJtj""e will r<:qui only 4000 ..".llid Sigl1J.tufC\ (0 be collected br July nf2000. Although dCI.tils rcg.ardin~ Ihi\ petition drive remain ~kt:[chy,u pre~nt, C.;oodm.ln, in a recent interview with the RrJ路i~u路. f()rcibly Argued his rcasons for the measure. According to Goodman. cann.1bis was 1eg.I1 until JOOUt 191 C). Around that rime.

See GOODMAN, Page 5

SOLE Rallies for Workers By



LAcD IN NIKE tennis shoes and

Northface jackets, protesters gathered in from of the Michigan Union and the Fl eming administrative building to protes t the U-M's failure to sign the Workers' Rights Consorrium ('X'RC) on Jan. 7. After rallying on the Union's steps, they marched th e 200 yards to Fleming, where they received a muted welcome. The protest was organized by the United Students Again st Swea tshops (USAS ), a nationwide group of students aimed abolishing sweatshop labor worldwide. Students Organizing for Labor and Economic Equality (SOLE) has played a

critical role in orgaI1lZlOg the students against sweatshops movement across the country. The protest was the culmination of a national conference on sweatshop labor that rook place at the U-M , which many. students from across the country, at" tended. T he protesters began their rally with cha nts of "Hey Hey, Ho H o, sweatshop Labor has got to go, " "Bit by bit, wall by wall. we'll fight sweatshop labor for one and all," and "What do we want? Workers' rights! \X'hen do we want them? Now!" After shouting at passing cars with mega phones and the singing the "workers'


See SOLE, Page 9

A SOLE demonstrator, oddly clad in Nike paraphanelia, chalks the sidewalk in protest of the University's dealings with companies such as Nike.



Serpent's Tooth

Hurry up and look inside for the first Serpents of the new millennium!* *Give or take one year.


From Suite One

What do you think about John Rocker. We' ll tell you what we think. Plus: Privatize the U-M!


Review Columnists

Privy yourself to a Review tradition: the Worst of Winter, where our Editor tells you which classes to avoid!

Page 8: An interview with McCain's Michigan campaign co-chair, Will Rubens.

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Page 2





TilE \11("111(;\' RE\IE\\

tra Blood-soaked."

The Campus AJTairs Journal of the nJversity of Michigan

In the spirit of diversity, Serpent's Tooth hereby demands the following: MSA has recently endorsed WIC's production of the "Vagina Monologues." Still no support however for the comedy written Serpents , by "Phallic ~bt Phunnies," starring Peter O'Toole and newcomers John Thomas and Dick Wang.

• More short white guys on the basketball team

• More Asians on academic probation • At least 1 straight person working at the Village Corner • At least one GSI who can speak proper English • One pro-Western civilization professor in the sociology department • One white male from the John Birch Society in the Residential College • One white male eating at the "underground" cafeteria at Mary Markley • One worker at Village Corner with short, natural, brown hair. • One clean, well-dressed, polite male sitting outside Taco Bell • One BAMN member majoring in anything else besides Women's studies, AfroAmerican/African/Ebonics studies, or SNRE • One non-WWFIWCW wrestling fan at Pinball Pete's • One worker at Burger King who can form a coherent sentence • One hard-working lTD employee at the Fish Bowl. They never seem to want to leave their chairs!










npus Affairs Editor

James Yeb NotiOfl(JI Affairs Editor

Justin Wilson Production MOlwger

atthew S. Schwartz &/itor*at-Larg j\RTS EDITOR: IUUSTRATOR: ONLIN E EDITOR : ONU NE STAff: ·O RRESPONOENT: Gulpt Irid PbllUpl RaMbSoon ~tlduleJ R05tD JulleJesdlke


STAFF WRtrERS: Mir.e AUlJdn.IW Bortww. MaR ICMIIpM, 8riIo Cook. 1MrT. Clip ~,

Well, Boris Yeltsin has finally resigned. Let's hope his successor, Vladimir Putin, does not consult the former President's inner "cabinet" of advisors: Mr. Jim Bean, Mr. Jack Daniels, and Mr. Jonnie Wa1ker.

McCIarrto, AaDe Nqrant. Ryan Painter, Kur1 R ............. . Out ~ D.ft s.dIdt



It was announced recently that Ted Turner would be separating from his wife Jane Fonda after over eight years of marriage. Maybe now the Pentagon will finally close the Hanoi Jane Bombing Range, which strangely, is centered around their house.

Hockey player Vaclav Prospal of the Ottawa Senators has been accused of making an ethnic slur t~ French-Canadian hockey player Patrice Brisebois of the Montreal Canadiens. Brisebois is filing a complaint afrer Prospal allegely called him a "frog" in reference him being from Quebec. But Prospal quickley apologized, withdrew the remark, and used the more appropriate term, "frog-canuck," instead.

Come to the Michigan Review's Post-Y2K Sale! The following items on sale:







Scott Behnan


Fox is planning a game show called "Who wants to marry a multi-millionaire?" for sweeps in which women will compete to marry a unseen millionaire. This is a good strategy for Fox, who can follow up on this during the next sweeps period with a show called "Who wants to go through a messy and expensive divorce with a multi-million-

'JO,-~ ... _ ... >

Jacob F.M. Oslick Acting Edilor-in-e"i

In other news, the Philosophy department recently announced that it was disbanding. It seems the faculty concluded it didn't really exist in the first place.

Macau was recently turned over to Communist China, ending over four hundred years ofPorrugese rule there. They will now be ruled under the "One Country, Two Systems" plan, just as Hong Kong is. For those unfamilier with system, that means Hong Kong and Macau continue to thrive under their current capitalist systems, while the rest of Red China continues to rot in abject poverty under communism.

It appears that Red China will be giving out chunks of Tiananmen Square as millenial gifrs to world leaders. The world leaders will be able to select whether their piece will be "A Bit Blood-so~eq" or "Ex'*' t

"What do you man, the world didn't aid?"

l\tal l'agtna

Recently At Gore has been slipping in the polls against Bill Bradley, dimming his Presidential prospects. It seems Americans feel there's been enough wood in the White House the last seven years ...

January 12. 2000

400 gallons of drinking water 3000 miscellaneous MREs 4 small electrical generators 204-0 cell Maglights 200 D cell batteries 10 shovels ,

8 first aid kits 1,000 yards of barbed wire 10,000 rounds of NATO 7.62x51mm ammunition 8,000 rounds of NATO 9x19mm ammunition 8 Russian mail-order brides

Senator Ted "I need to run for president like I need a hole in my head" Kennedy recently endorsed Vice President At Gore ic his bid to become the Democratic Party's presidential nominee in this year's election. Kennedy said that Gore had "the ability, the experience and the wisdom to lead our country in the year 2000 and the years to come," and adding later "plus, I want to take a crack at banging those hot daughters of his. "

Let Bockhoru 8etVamtn Kepple

The Midtiltlll RevlC'W b the independent. ,tudent-nm joumaI or CORIefVlOve and IibMarian opinloo til the Unlvenhy of

M,chipn. We ncilhcr lOIlCI new 8Ct'I:pl moneury donations rrom the U..M. Contrlblluons 10 the Mlclllztm Rn;~ clcduaible under SectIon 501 (e)(3) 0( the llIICnIIIl ~mue Code. The R,,;C'W 'i noc afliUaRd with any pol,lJaIl pIIt)' Of IIN'em!), political poup.



MJ&ncd cd,tona/J tq:IftiCnI the opinion the ecbt.anal boIrd Ell'>. tbc:y 1ft uncqw\ucalty comet and jUSl. S,pcc1 uuc:1a.. leam.. and C1IItOOlU ~ the opuuons or the .UIhor and OOI.-'aSarily thaIc 0( the R";",,.. The Sapenl·. ITOClCII , halJ rcpreRnl the opon.1OII of Ind,vidutIJ 1U1OII)'1TIOUI contnbuUlrl to the R,,'/;w. and ihould DOC ncccuarily be taken iii rqIIncntlll"e or the R,,;"",·, ecblOriaJ _ . The opinions pmcntcd in thl) publlCllllun are noc _ 1 ) , tIKlo.e of the adv,,~ ornfthr Univ"""lyofM,ch,pR. We welcome ""~ III'lIC~. and commmu about the journal.


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addn:u all ad\.:ttUIII&. JUbl;cnption InqllJllei. IIld 10 Publisher do the Mi€ItJ/lQIf Rn/"",.


EdltoriDl and Bu~b,,,~ OOten' n.. Mid/plr R,rinI 911 N. Unlvnslty A'-m .w. Sulw One A.r bor. MJ 41 09-12.65 1~lIrrs@mlt:hi,'m'.... i ....•..._

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Tel (734.647-84311 • Fu (734) Y36-lSOS

Sean "Puffy" Combs and big-assed girlfriend singer/actress Jennifer Lopez were arrested over the break for possession of an illegal stolen handgun. The charges against Lopez were eventually dropped, but Combs faces a maximum of 15 years in prison if convicted of all charges. Taking a quite pessimistic view of the matter though, Combs is reportedly back in the studios remixing his own version of "Jailhouse Rock" and "The Bitch is Back. "

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Love us or hate us, write us. E-mail with subject, "Letter to the Editor" Or send mail to: The Michigan Review 911 N. University Ave. Ann Arbor, MI 48109

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!!! Come to the Michigan Review's



January 16th, 1999 7pm Michigan League - 3rd Floor, Room C (Yes, there will be free punch and pie, even though we abhor the idea of free handouts.)



Review Letter Misrepresented VOICE-AAA quotes were taken from a letter to the Michigan Daily, (10-26-99) in which I made no such statement. My words regarding admission standards were; " The University has high admission standards because the classes are rigorous, and people who don't meet those standards probably wbH'"i do well, which is exactly conuary to affirmative action." Also, Mr. Olabisi gives he group VOICE the following advice: "Don't object to the idea [in refrence to affirmative action]; object to the particu-

Olabisi Attacks on VOICE-AAA Unwarranted I would like to respond to a letter that was published in the Dec. 9 edition of the Michigan Review, written by Mr. Olaronke Olabisi. The letter was essentially critiquing the VOICE-AAA student group. I am upset that the letter was written in such

"/ am upset that the letter was written in such harsh terms based soley on the November 17 article in the Review about the aformentioned group." harsh terms based solely on the November 17 article in the Review about the aformentioned group. I have personal interest as well, as Mr. Olabisi writes, "Cash states that 'poorly qualified beneficiaries of affirmative action often times don't do well academically.' This is always the complaint of the ignorant." Well, as offended as I was to be called ignorant (in a rather round about manner), I would like to point out to this individual that I was never interviewed for the VIOCE article. All of my





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lar program or method." The group is already doing just that. Any member in attendance at the first two meetings was privy to lengthy conversation and debate regarding affirmative action and how it is impliemnted at the University. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to clear my name, and to clear up any misconceptions about the VOICE group.

iMac does not Deserve a Bad Rap The review "Apple's iMac -- If Looks Could Kill," republished in your December issue, points out many undesirable qualities of the iMac, apd does not mention much of what is good about the computer. As well, since the review is reprinted from last year, it lacks information about improvements that Apple has made since then, like lower prices, faster processors, and digital video options. As for the monitor's size: 13.8 inches and 80Ox600 pixels (a very clear resolution on the iMac) does well for students who use computers to type papers, read email, and view web pages. As for using networks instead of floppy disks: networks are unaffected by spilled coffee and may magnetic fields, and the IFS service provided to U-M students makes floppy-extinction a good possibility. (Coincidentally, an article on using IPS appears in the same 10/7/1998 issue in which this review was originally printed. The Michigan Review does a great service by giving more people this sort of information.) In the end, the iMac is a fast, inexpensive, useful computer, worth considering again.

-Jessica L. Cash, First-year LSA

. ~ _,,>




_ _ _ _ _.,..._..



-Edwin Fukunaga First-year Music


·sit our we site •






Let the Man Speak ...


AGO, IT could be said without question that baseball was the great American pastime. Today, it is arguable. But despite the advances that football, basketball and hockey have made into American society, it is still baseball that is America. Baseball is all encompassing. Baseball players do not have to be taillike basketball players or just plain huge like football players. Hell, they don't even have to be athletic. If a man can throw a ball a decent distance with well enough accuracy, run at a decent pace and hit a ball with a bat, he is pretty much got the basics down. If one were to look at the face of professional baseball today, he or she would see the face of America. There are white guys, black guys, Hispanics, Asians, skinny guys, fat guys, tall guys, short guys, etc. from all over the world. And unfortunately, the face America includes bigots like Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker. It would be hard to not hate John Rocker for his cotnments in the December 22nd issue of Sports Illustrated. Rocker's rant basically covered almost everybody, from blacks to gays to immigrants to Asian female drivers to even people who suffer from AIDS. It would be easy, and justified, to call him a bigoted, racist, redneck. But as stated earlier, baseball is America, and in America, there's this thing called the First Amendment that allows people to express their opinions, even white trash like John Rocker. The league, nor the Atlantic Braves organization should take any action against Rocker for simply stating his feelings, psychological evaluation be damned. So John Rocker doesn't like homosexuals and foreigners. Don't invite him to dinner.

Baseball is America, .and in America, there's this thing called the First Amendment that allows people to express their opinions, even white trash like John Rocker. He is a baseball player. The Atlanta Braves pay him to throw strikes and relieve pitchers. At that, Rocker has done quite well with a 2.49 ERA, seventh amongst relievers in the National League, and 38 saves, fourth in the National League. Does a man with these numbers deserve to be suspended, or even drummed out of professional baseball, as suggested by some groups, for simply speaking his mind? Of course not. The Braves don't pay him to be politically correct. They pay him to play baseball. Its a sad day when a man can lose his job for simply speaking his opinions. The First Amendment covers all Americans, not just tolerant ones. And disciplining a professional athlete for simply speaking his mind is absurd. Latrell Sprewell can physically assault his coach, and be playing again in a year. Steve Howe can get busted for drugs seven times and come back. True, they got suspended, but what they did was illegal. Speaking your mind is not, unless you live in Red China. However, while not illegal, Rocker's comments were morally reprehensible. But in a world where professional athletes do morally reprehensible things like sleep around or father busloads of illegitimate kids without any sort of sanctions, is shooting off your mouth really all that much worse? Rocker has apologized for his words. He knows he probably should have thought a bit before he shot off that big mouth of his and he will know never to do it again. He deserves no punishment from the front office of the Braves nor the league. He will be punished ehough come February 18th, when pitchers and catchers start reporting for spring training. With three out of the four Braves catchers of Hispanic origin and two of those three born outside the United States, those first days will be awkward enough. When the rest of the team reports later, then Rocker will see what his mouth has brought him. And if he is still on the team after that, he will be punished the next time the Braves go to New York, the city that most of his remarks were directed to, where the Mets and Yankee fans will be ready with even more of their lip and Duracells. But if the Braves do want to get rid him, why not punish him and teach him a lesson all at once by trading him to the Mets? That they can do, and for once in professional sports, the punishment may finally fit the crime. l\R

Come to

Unlike JOhn ROCker,




Privatize the U -M INCE IT'S ESTABLISHMENT in 1817, the University of Michigan has stood prominently in the. realm of public higher education. Many consider the U-M to be one of the finest public universities in the nation. The fact that the U-M has functioned as a public university, however, has been a hindrance not only to students, but too the people of the state of Michigan. To alleviate these problems, privatization of the U-M is necessary. Perhaps the most compelling reason to privatize the U-M is one that many overlook. It concerns the illegitimacy of public education. As a public institution, the U-M obtains a significant amount of support from the people of Michigan. One must remember that this support is not comprised of voluntary donations; it is revenue confiscated by the state through mandatory taxation. Thus, individuals do not have the freedom to choose whether or not to financially support the U-M; the state forces them to do so, regardless of whether or not they use the U-M's services. In a free society, individuals must have the liberty to allocate their resources and property as they see fit, as long as these actions do not infringe upon the rights of others. Privatization of the U-M would save Michigan taxpayers money; more importantly, it would give the Michigan people a greater degree of freedom. The fundamental problems with public education extend well beyond financial and taxation concerns. With education under the domain of the state, the student receives curricula that is regulated or determined by the government. This gives the state an opportunity to influence the ideas presented to individual students. Such a scenario can be potentially dangerous to a free society; as the Founding Fathers asserted, a free society can only exist under a government strictly limited in its influence. Thus, public education is contrary to a free society and the principle of liberty. Other reasons, less broad and more unique to the U-M, do exist for privatization. One of the most important concerns the academic standards and reputation of this instiNews and World Report's America's Best tution. According to the 1995 edition of Colleges, the U-M ranked as the 21st best institution in the nation. Yet the U-M also ranked 41st in student sdectivity. Perhaps this relatively low ranking in sdectivity is a result of its publk status. Due to the fact that Michigan taxpayers provide financial support, the U-M must enroll a high number of in-state students. Consequendy, admission standards for in-state students are lower than those for out-of-state applicants. Through privatization, the U-M would be able to seek the best students in the world, and not have to accept in-staters. because of financial support. This will result in not only a more qualified student body; but also a better academic reputation for the U-M. Privatizing the U-M will remove the stigmas that public universities often carry. Many tend to associate private institutions with academic excellence, for these are the schools that must compete to survive. The Ivy League schools are perfect examples of this; these are the colleges and universities that have survived for centuries, due in part to their ability to adapt current academic demands. In this regard, a private institution one that is responsible only to itself and its students - has more academic options than a public school- one that is responsible to the state. A private U-M will no longer be a part of the public Ivies; it may be a part of, or at least comparable to, the Ivies themselves. One may indicate various drawbacks to privatization, including possible increases in tuition and a difficulty in functioning independent of the state. It is quite probable that tuition will increase ~th privatization, but it will eventually stabilize to the current market price of a college education. This change will affect out-of-state students little, for their tuition costs are nearly consistent with those of a private institution. In-state tuition will rise rather dramatically, but it will simply match the costs of other prominent universities. The aforementioned benefits of privatization certainly outweigh these costs. The U-M must be more self-sufficient without financial aid from the state. This may at first appear to be a problem, but if the last several years are any indication, it is not that large of an obstacle. According to Thomas Kinnear, interim vice-president for development, donations to the Campaign for Michigan fundraising drive have now exceeded $700 million. Though this campaign is for a specific purpose, it indicates that U-M alumni are willing to contribute to benefit this institution. There is no reason to believe that this will change with privatization. Donations may even increase, for the alumni will playa more important role in sustaining the U-M. Throughout its one and a half centuries of existence, the U-M has served students . well, providing them a quality education as well as preparation for careers. With . privatization, the U-M will more effectively serve this role. l\R



This editorial was originally published in the Nov. 9, 1994 issue of the Michigan Review. It is worth noting that our ranking in US News & World Report has fallen from 21st to 25th in the five years since we first ran this editorial

IJanuary 12,2000-"



Page 5




Everybody Must (have the right to) Get Stoned A Case for Marijuana Legalization

A LIBERTARIAN, I intrinsically believe the War on Drugs is morly wrong. Generally, I reject the notion that people should try to impose their values upon others. Rather, people should have total freedom with respect to their own bodies and their own property. Hence, if someone values a two-hour induced high more than $50, they deserve every right to make that trade , without outsiders trying to paternalistically control them. Still, I realize that public policy must derive from Jacob F.~. conseq uen tialism, Oslick not ideology. Namely, govern- ' _ _ _ _ _ __


ment should usually act to promote general welfare, not simply pick one set of morals to uphold. After careful thought, I've concluded that government has made this mistake with respect to drug policy. Rarely do politicians or technocrats bother to look at the root causes of drug related problems (i.e. the

Drugs Continued From Page 1 getting the required signers, perhaps leaving it cash-poor for the general election campaign. Even if the PRA gets on the ballot, and approved by the public, it could still face federal scrutiny. Currently, the Federal Government regulates drugs and narcotics based on its Constitutional authority over inter-state commerce. Similar ballot propositions around the country have wound up in court following ratification, with the plaintiff arguing the referendum improperly superceded a matter of Federal jurisdiction. Despite these odds, Mr. Schmid is optimistic about his chances for success, "We have about a 95% chance of getting on the ballot given the number of volunteers and the new internet method we have developed for gathering signatures. Any person can go the our website at and print off a petition on their home computer using the free adobe acrobat reader program and legal size paper (81/2 x 14)." Likewi$e, Mr. Schmid feels that, if they succeed in. geqing on the ballot, the campaign should have no problem attracting contributions to fund general election expenses. Also, based on polling done in other states, Mr. Schmid ex-

Drug War itself). Instead they simply yelp "drugs are bad. (mmkay) We've got to stop our kids from using them." Of course they then neglect to note that while the policies they advocate to little to deter drug use, they do a great deal to ferment a dastardly culture of crime in America's cities. From the ashes of prohibition, a new breed of AI Capone wannabes have risen like a phoenix to stalk urban street corners. Still, in every major stumble there are degrees of error. This column shall look at one: the tyrannical prohibition of cannabis, from an economic perspective. For, perhaps nowhere is the drug war more fruitlessly fought than against marijuana. Although reputable science dismisses the possibility of physical addiction to marijuana, and marijuana results in far less medical damage per year than tobacco or alcohol (see also Matthew Franczak's companion article in this issue), the Federal government continues to prohibit cannabis along the likes of heroin and cocaine. Why? One reason may be so-called "gateway" theory, the idea that marijuana serves as a stepping stone drug, encouraging users to move on to "hard" drugs, like cocaine. Thus, if legalization encourages presses confidence that the electorate will support PRA, "In exit polls last year 87% of all people who voted for medical marijuana thought it was a means to the eventuallegalization of medical marijuana-and voted for it anyway. Most of the elections were landslides, by the way. Washington DC was 69% and the recent Maine election was 62%." Mr. Schmid has also tailored PM's wording to minimize the chances that it would wind up stuck in court. Instead of totally legalizing marijuana, PRA limits an individual's possession at any given time to "only 3 mature plants, seedlings, and 3 ounces of dried usable marijuana preparation, within the curtilege of a persons private residence." It does not allow the sale or transfer or marijuana in Dutch-style "coffee houses," or the mass commercial production of cannabis. In doing so, PRA hopes to avoid any interaction with interstate commerce and hence, Federal jurisdiction. ~

••••••••••••••••••••• • • ' . After you're done reading the • : Review, consider rolling us up. : special newsprint brings • ••• Our • out the flavor in all herbal .•. • remedies reconuneded by • the Amateur Pharmacy • • • • Association of America! • •


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to only 3% . So, if marijuana in fact serves as a substitute for harder drugs such as cocaine and heroin, what should government policy be? To better examine this enigma, I, along with Trevor Kang, attempted to model a person's preferences for soft and hard drugs as substitutes, though what is known as a Cobb-Douglass equation'. We modeled these preferences with respect to marijuana price under two cases-a "Dutch" case where marijuana is effectively decriminalized, but hard drugs are not , and the "American" case, where even cannabis is prohibited. The major distinction between these cases rests on what we termed the "illegality cost." This tried to measure the c~St of buying drugs not in your neighborhood convenience store, but from some shady character on a street corner. In the American example, we assumed this cost applied whenever someone consumes marijuana or hard drugs. In. the Dutch case, individuals who consume only marijuana suffer no "illegality cost," but people who use harder drugs do.

more people to use marijuana, more people would decide to "graduate" towards hard stuff. Yet, gateway theory itself is rather poorly constructed, and poorly evidenced. For example, during the 1980's American use patterns for cocaine and marijuana moved in opposite directions. Similarly, only a tiny percentage of the 70 million Americans who have on"ce tried marijuana wound up using hard drugs. The flaw in gateway theory comes from mistaking correlation with causation. True, most cocaine users have smoked marijuana. But most cocaine users have also drunk orange juice. It does not necessarily follow that once implies the other. If anything, evidence from the Netherlands suggests that marijuanafar from acting as a "gateway" drug, might in reality serve as a substitute for harder narcotics. For instance, according to Dr. John Morgan, a pharmacology professor at the City University of New York's Medical School, between 1984 and 1992, as the Netherlands liberal drug policies took effect, the percentage of Dutch citizens who inhaled cannabis increased nearly 300% . Simultaneously, as America magazine reports, by 1994 ' the percentage of citizens who used cocaine or heroin fell from 22%

See SERFDOM on Page 7

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Matt's Worst of Winter 2000


ANY YEARS AGO, a great predecessor of mine was browsingthe online course guide, when he made a most intriguing observation: there are a lot of crazy courses at the University. Courses that read too much into things, courses that are just plain stupid, courses that epitomize the problem with the modern American university - one Matthew can easily find dozSchwartz ens of examples within minutes. So my great predecessor took it upon himself to list these courses (with some parenthetical documentation) in a Michigan Review column entided "Ben's Worst ofWinter 1998." The column engendered a firestorm of controversy, with (mosdy angry) letters to the editor still coming in months after publication. Since then, it has become a Review tradition to critique the course offerings each semester, in order to keep the University community aware of the pathetic and ultra-biased courses masquerading as worthy intellectual pursuits. Here, for your academic enlightenment, I offer my Worst of Winter 2000. First, it is prudent to note a few changes from yesteryear. In the original Wo W, Ben warned students to avoid courses that use words such as "oppression," "gender," "racism," "class," "gender," and "ethnicity." However, upon doing a search for those words in the online course guide, I found literally hundreds of courses that included one or more of those words in their descriptions. Indeed, the latest craze in academia is to relate everything to race, class, or gender, so it is nearly impossible to remain secluded from such classes. As such, brevity has forced me to include only the most egregious violators, but you must still be extremely cautious when choosing courses, for many just narrowly escaped this list. Anything in quotes has come direcdy from the course guide. Without further ado ...

popularity of James Bond films merits study, in the same way that a successful company or marketing strategy merits analysis. Further, this course resides in the Film and Video Studies department, a suitable home. However, upon closer inspection, it turns out that it's an American Culture course in disguise! From the course guide: "Taking an interdisciplinary approach, we will draw on readings in film studies, cultural studies, and gender studies in order to understand the 'intertextual' currency of this popular hero." Cultural studies? Gender studies? And what on earth is intertextual currency? Are they talking about the Euro? Past the confusing academic gibberish, the description continues, warning that the class will "analyze the gender politics" in James Bond movies. This is where you run. I don't care how much you love James Bond, how many times you've seen the movies or read the books, how many posters you have in your room; never take a course that has the phrase "gender politics" in the description. If you're in this course now, drop it, or else you will find yourself writing 6-8 page papers on the psychological ramifications of being named "Pussy GalQre," or worse yet, having to describe the phallocentric, sexist imagery one can find in the film tide, "Thunderball. " 9. Good Mother, Bad Mother: Images ofMothers in Film and Television - Worn. Stud. 111, 1 cr. In this "class," you discuss the portrayal of mothers in select movies and television shows. That's right! You get to watch "Albert Brook's hilarious film Mother, in which a middle-aged writer moves back home to work out his problems with his mother." Now if that isn't hilarious, I don't know what is. "Moving on to television favorites from the 1950s to the present such as Leave It to Beaver,

Never take a course that has the phrase "gender politics" in the description.

Reading Too Much Into Things

10. The Fictional Character ofJames Bond - FlY 366, 3 cr. I will freely admit that the extreme

Julia, The Brady Bunch, Kate and Allie, Roseanne and The Cosby Show, we will look at who counts as a good mother on TV and why." And thus the University continues the popular trend of "interdisciplinary" studies, which basically means students get to watch lots of movies and TV shows, and pretend that they have as much literary value as the classics. It is a sad day when The Brady Bunch and Roseanne become the new canon. Just Plain Stupid

8. Elementary Ojibwa - Amer. Cult. 222,3 cr. Making its second appearance in the "Worst of" series, Elementary Ojibwa "is designed to give the conversational and cultural skills necessary to enable students to use Ojibwa in real lifo situations." Pardon me, but real life situations? The only time you will ever have to speak Ojibwa is when taking this course - and everybody knows college isn't the real world. This

Couples rejoice! The University is offering three whole credits to anyone who will sign up for their new relationship-counseling course. In a course of such frivolity that it rivals offerings in the Lloyd Hall "Scholars" Program, students enrolled will work toward "an understanding of the personal and situational forces that help and hinder persons in their relationships with each other and in their efforts to work and live together." What's going on here? Since

One of the worst problems liberals have is their horrible tendency to see people in terms of race. How can one honestly refer to "black behavior" without resorting to stereotypes? course is just plain stupid.

7. The Sixties - Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll .. and Your Parents - Eng. 125,4 cr. "What did your parents do in the Sixties? Did your father serve in Vietnam? Did your mother take birth control pills? Did they experiment with drugs or go to Woodstock? In this course, you - the children of the Baby Boomers - will explore the world your parents encountered when they were your age: the politics, the war, the popular culture, even the sexual revolution of the Sixties." Sensationalism at its finest. Have you taken a look at the English 125 course listings recendy? So many sections exist, that competition for students has sprung up among the GSls - whomever can fill his section first wins! Bonus points for fllling ' an 8 a.m. class. In all honesty, is this what one would expect from an introductory college writing course? Imagine informing a student's parents that their child's English syllabus includes such academic objectives as reliving what it's like to smoke pot at Woodstock. Now that's tuition money well spent. At least there's no tie-dye dress code. But the description continues ... "We will watch some of the movies and television of the period and listen to some of its music." Translation: listening to Jimmy Hendrix's rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner, and writing a half-page response on how it makes you feel. "We will also experience the Sixties through the eyes of real people, like a Vietnam veteran and a social activist who live here in Ann Arbor and will visit our class." Better hope they don't get invited to the same class! Social activists don't like them baby-killers.

when did the University decide to play the part of Dear Abby? And why are people getting as many credits for this "class" as they would for an advanced political theory class? The description reads like the table of contents in any "Men are from Mars" style self-help book: Chapter 1 - "Reflective Listening"; Chapter 2 - "Giving and Seeking Feedback"; Chapter 3 - "Interpersonal Observation"; Chapter 4 - "Mindfulness in Thinking about Issues." And get this: "To stimulate personal reflection on interpersonal issues, class members maintain an observation log ... " In other words, ladies, you can get credit for keeping a diary! In addition to being just plain stupid, this course is also a disgrace. What's Wrong With the Modem University

5. W'0men in Prison - Amer. Cult. 410, cross-listed with Worn. Stud. 483, 3 cr. First off, note the conspicuous crosslisting. Whenever a course is listed in more than one of the "ethnic ghetto" departments (as a predecessor of mine so eloquendy put it), namely Mrican American Studies, Wymmyn's Studies, or American Culture, that's your first clue that something is askew. No courses of value ever came out of those departments! In this course, students learn about women in prison, focusing on "the oppression that these women experience before, during, and after incarceration." Boo-hoo! Are you telling me that prisoners are being oppressed? For shame! Listen, it's not just women who are oppressed in prison; it's everyone. They're criminals. Why should we feel sorry for them? Jail is supposed to be an unpleasant place.

6. Interpersonal Relationships - U. Courses 151, 3 cr.

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4. MedicaL Anthropology - Anthro. 444,4 cr. "The concepts of 'health' and 'illness' are culturally constructed." Give me a break! The University has already cornered the market on the whole "whiteness is a social construction" idea, and now they're moving on to sickness and health? Guys, it's pretty straightforward: if your temperature is over 100 degrees and you have a sore throat, you're sick. The same sort of thinking applies to mental illnesses - if you think you have three people living inside your head, or if you have to flip the light switch a hundred times every time you leave a room, you're sick. "This class will examine beliefs about these states of being, and the ways in which theY are both products and illustrations of the larger social system in which they are found." Know what I'm sick of? University courses that try to start some sort of damn philosophical revolution.

3. African-American Ethnology - Afr. Amer. Stud. 454, cross-listed with Anthro. 453,3cr. "This course exanlines the MricanAmerican subculture as one example of how huinans live. It places distinctive Black behavior within its social context and its


history." This description demonstrates one of the worst problems liberals have, and that is their horrible tendency to see people in terms of their race or group rather than individually. How can one honestly refer to black behavior, or white behavior, or gay behavior, without resorting to stereotypes? I will be so bold as to suggest that there is no such thing as black behavior. As such,

With the University's track record of turning what could 1!e true dialogues into one-sided "whites are bad" tirades, how could one expect "Unteaching Racism" to be any different? this course is not only racist, it's also worthless. 2. Unteaching Racism - RC Soc. Sci. 381,4 cr. Last year, the University sponsored a "White Privilege" workshop, whose intent was to reprogram all the whites there, and convince them that they were responsible for all the problems of the world, especially racism. We were abhorred that the University would sponsor something like that. Well

to only marijuana shifa downward. EffectMly. the model sugau mat mariJUana prohibition bas the pehtne dfea of promoting bard drug consumption. Of course. when aomebociy uses

drup they do nOr only affect themsdva bur moelt around memo As a rault of their drug use. they may be more likely to commit crime. be unproductive at work. act etT2oc:ally with their family ea:. To compensate for this affttt. we also looked at marijum:l consumption from the pcr~

other things. With the University's track record of botching what could be true dialogues, turning them instead into one-sided "whites are bad" tirades (see

www.umich. edu/~ mrev/archivesll 998/121-98/pg6.htm), how could one expect this course to be any different? The description states that "all that is required is a willingness to see from the various points of view of those most affected by the problem, and a desire for greater justice and uality." Mark my words: any conserva-

tive in this course who refuses to concede that race-based affirmative action is a good thing will not get an A. ' And now, Matt's Worst ofWlOter 2000 ... 1. Prison Advocacy - Soc. 389, 3 cr. "American Friends Service Committee (AFSC) is a prisoner advocacy agency where students may have the opportunity to attend political rallies, give presentations to community groups about AFSC efforts, help draft correspondence to legislators, and participate in other activities designed to ensure fair treatment of Michigan inmates." In this class, students are learning how to lobby for prisoners, to make sure murderers and rapists aren't "oppressed" while in jail - RAIL and MIM for credit! It is, without a doubt, the most politically-biased class at the University. Could you imagine a class where students are supposed to lobby legislators to ensure fair treatment of unborn children? Of course not - the liberals would have a field day ripping the University apart for being biased toward the Right. Yet Left-leaning classes pop up every semester. This course epitomizes what's wrong with the modem university - politicization of the classroom. l\.R.


- ... -~-

Just Say Hell No

Whar did we fiDd? WeD. in paaI. as marijuana pricedcdiaa, ~ be. . 10 look like alDOfC aaraccive option then heroin-in much che . . . WIl'f dw a sale on bot clop might · mean kwer pcopIe will buy Iwnburp. Afier canDIbis &Os belOw. cenain price. individuals CCIIe ~ use harder drup. • chey ca:n F' all me pleasure they want chapcr &om marijuana. The qUCRioD is wbeft· cbq mab the switch. . Hac our iIIepli1y CIOI( axapr came imo play. a.aoy. by Idias OIl an lidditioaaI-m«' 10 marijuIDa. at any pm prUCIDORI."ina only marijuIaa wiD look . . aaracti¥e in ~ t1DiIecI Scara min . . Nc.chcrIe..... TIu. cbc point.mae conIIIIIICD make the ....... &om con-

IW11iDs both marijuana and lay. heroin.

that abhorration is cOmpletelYbvershadowed by this Residential College course, which looks noble and good on the surface, but like most Race & Ethnicity courses, will no doubt resort to blaming everything on whites. Indeed, "readings and discussion will cover such topics as definitions of racism and prejudice, white privilege, [and] institutional racism," among


F THE LAST issue of the Review was the "God and GeekS" issue, th~n surely this issue will go down as the "Drugs" issue. Yes, this is what happens when libertarians take over. It's been joked that liber- . tarians are just conservatives that want to get high, love gays, and screw whores. As a die hard conservative, I'd like to express my opinion why NOT to use or legaiize-dr,ugs. People will tell you that George Washington grew hemp, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't so that him and John Adams could get together and dance around naked while Jefferson played the bongo drums. And farmers would still be planting hemp for rope just like Washington did as a farmer ifbeatniks and hippies didn't smoke it and do stupid things, like embrace communism. Drug users do stupid things, and drugs and drug users are incompatible with real American values. It was reported over the weekend that a Miami man had to have surgery to remove 55 crack pipes from his stomach that he had unknowingly ingested while high. Would any person swallow even one crack pipe if he or she weren't stoned? Would Pauly Shore, Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong otherwise have careers? Would the ·


• 10 chc N.fNNJ ' • ang . , . . .RninII . ,! American P. ernmena spend ~ ~ $7S·biDian a year fipoDi the drug war. In total 400.000 policeman work exdusiftly on drup. ~ almost ~ the natiOn', iIunaca are bcbi.od·bm for reLued oIRoIC'S If government ·decriminalized mariiuana~ these com ~ drop; raIircaing moocy into mo~ productiw UICS: education, tax curs etc. Simultaneously. by freeing cannabis smokers from prison you add them to the population, increasing the tax-pay.;. ing labor force. Ml



Grateful Dead be just another garage band? This is the country that gave the world John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Charlton H est 0 n and Ronald Reagan. Americans aren't suppose sit around naked, listening to Creedence and smoking joints. We're suppose to be going around kicking the asses of those that do. And that leads us to my next point: we don't want to become Europe. European culture used to set the standard that all other cultures used to strive for. Now they've got their drugs, their socialized this and that, and topless game shows. Is it any wonder that the Germans bowled over the Netherlands in days? Should it surprise us if it happens again? This is America, and we're suppose to be a God-fearing country where people go to church on Sundays, respect their elders, their veterans, and the decisions of their elected officials. Drugs, drug dealers, pot bars, hippies and beatniks don't belong in America. They didn't belong thirty years ago, and they certainly don't belong today. They should find themselves another country to pervert with free love and cheap drugs instead of staying here in America and ruining it for the rest of us who bleed red, white and blue. Mt

IPage 8


JU2'I01l4ÂŁ U'AlRS

---J;nu~ryli. 2000 ]

Interview: Will Rubens Co-chair for the State of Michigan John McCain Campaign Michigan Review: Why should one vote for Senator John McCain to be the next president of the US?


Will Rubens: I think there are several key qualities that go into making a president, as well as the person's experience, that is necessary to be president. John McCain is now serving in his third term as Senator, and before that he served two terms in Congress for the state of Arizona. He also worked for the congressional liaison office in the Navy, and spent 23 years in the Navy and retired as a captain. I think he has a myriad of political experience which qualifies him to be president, including his most recent experience as chairman of the Senate commerce committee. I also think the main qualities that are necessary to be president are integrity and open-mindedness. Now I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an American, due to his war record, and his current reformist practices, that has as much integrity as John McCain. And also, his open-mindedness. He's sponsored many bills as a Republican that were not considered popular among his party. And he sponsored these bills because he thought they were what was best for the US. And a president has to be open-minded, and has to be willing to do things that his party may not agree with when it's in his country's best interest, and I think John McCain embodies all of these things.

MR: Why should college students the typical University of Michigan student - vote for McCain. How will it benefit them and other young people? WR: Senator McCain has targeted young people - specifically college students - as one of his main focus groups. That's quite evident in the fact that he has an entire web site and an entire campaign staff devoted strictly to college students. Senator McCain is very future-minded. Unlike Gov. Bush, Senator McCain does not want to raid the Social Security and Medicaid trust funds for a quick tax cut now. I myself work and pay Social Security tax. [Bush is] looking to give that money away in tax cuts. That money is for my Social Security,just as any other college student knows - the money they pay now is in the good faith that when they retire, it will be their for their Social Security. So in effect, George Bush is taking our money and giving it to our parents. John McCain realizes that this money belongs to the young people of America - this $1.4 trillion belongs to the young people of America, and he wants to give it back to us. MR: Do most' other Republicans share McCain's views on Social Security?

"... The main qualities that are necessary to be president are integrity and open-mindedness. Now I think you'd be httrt/-pressed to find an American, due to his war record, and his current reformist practices, that has as much integrity as John McCain." MR: Bills regarding what issues? . WR: I think a very good example would be the tobacco bill of a year or fWO ago, which some viewed as more of a "Democrat bill" than a "Republican bill," because sometimes tobacco is considered a friend of Republicans. John McCain was an original sponsor of the tobacco bill in the Senate. The bill was basically to put new regulations and new taxes on tobacco, mainly dealing with the sale school children. Currently, one of his main platforms of campaign finance reform is not extremely popular among the Republican Party, as any campaign finance reform would hurt the Republicans more than the Democrats. But senator McCain . . . .feels . that '_. it's .the AmericanJ.~eopkand the. pcli.tical ,...~",


Universities of the state of Michigan to organize support on the college level. The other thing I've done is create a state web site to give any interested parties information on what's going on in the state campaign, as the Internet has been a key tool in our campaign. I've also personally overseen the Students for McCain at the University of Michigan, including. organizing a recent visit of Cindy McCain, Senator McCain's wife.

democracy itself that matter; the parties are only secondary.

WR: It's hard to say. Social Security is a very controversial issue, even within the Republican Party. It's a big problem with no clear solution, and I think you'd find a myriad of solutions for it. I don't think that one solution is more popular than another, as the Republican Party really has yet to come up with, in congress or the senate, a comprehensive plan for Social Security. I would say that the six candidates who are currently running for the rep nomination have very divided views on the issue.

MR ~McCain's Michigan campaign co-ch~ir,' what are you doing to ensure

strong support for McCain in this state?



WR: The first step I took was to try B;Qd c;qnp).ls cPairm~pJ91;,(r4e, :~ajor

in terms of recruitment? WR: It has gone better than I had hoped. Just at the U-M alone, we've recruited over 70 people. State-wide, that figure is harder to put a number on. We have a very hearty group of state-wide volunteers - they're very dedicated.

MR: I think "visit" is stretchingit a bit. .. I

WR: Well, the recent proposed visit that had to be altered at the last minute, but went closely to what was planned. I also assisted in preparing the event scheduled for Monday, Jan. lO, which was a debate party. This party was a debate-watching party at a restaurant in Grand Rapids, and all the stateLSA Junior Will Rubens has devoted many months to wide McCain supporter ensuring a successful presidential bid for Sen. McCain. brought their friends and MR: As you know, fWO lawsuits are in family to watch the debate together, and the works that claim the U-M's policies are then Senator and Mrs. McCain attended racist because they take into account the the debate party afterwards. That's basically color of one's skin in determining admiswhat my duties have consisted of, up until sion. How does Senator McCain feel about this point. racial preferences, and if elected, would he seek to repeal them? MR: You mention the role of the Internet in McCain's campaign. How WR: I don't think the Senator has much has the Internet helped Senator looked at that specific issue closely enough McCain? to come up with an educated decision, therefore I don't think he has an opinion WR: Well we've raised nationally over . at the moment. a million dollars, just over our Internet web site, which is more than any other candiMR: McCain is not going to actively date has raised [over the Internet]. So in campaign for the Iowa Jan. 24 caucuses. just that respect, it's been a big success. He is depending on wins in New Hampshire and in S. Carolina, which he hopes MR: What do you, personally, plan would then lead to victories in Michigan to do in the future for the McCain camand Arizona. In fact, GW Bush's top stratpaign in Michigan? egist, Karl Rove, recently said the following: "Imagine what the response would be WR: McCain has at least fWO more if the front-runner" - George W. - "said, visits to the state scheduled before the Feb. 'Well, I'm too weak to compete in Iowa 22 primary. I plan on planning these and Delaware, and don't count on me to events, and making sure they have as large organize in 35 to 40 states." How do feel a turnout as possible. I also will continue about this? my efforts to recruit people to put in various leadership positions around the state, WR: For starters, to say rh.<lt ~Cain and I just plan on getting his name out as is only organized in four state~ is¡ blatantly much as possible, and informing people untrue. Just the other day, our New York in the State as much as possible of exactly who senator John McCain is.

Continued on Next Page

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office - which was not included in those four states - announced their overwhelming signature drive that was tremendously successfuL That right there debunks the four-state theory. The other thing is that Iowa is a quite different animal than the other primary participants. It's widely known that the Iowa caucus is not about the issues, it's not about the candidates. It basically boils down to how much money the candidate is willing to spend there. And George Bush is bussing people in from other states. In fact, from the U-M, the Students for Bush have, a bus coming in, and they will pay for your hotel and meals while you're in Iowa if you will go and participate in the Iowa caucus. John McCain feels that because of this basically howmuch-money-you-can-spend system, Iowa is not an important part of the primary system, and has therefore chosen to ignore it. For as our current budgets show, we cannot compete with Bush's $70 million on a dollar-for-dollar scale. That's not to say we can't compete with Bush. We've only targeted these four states now because these are the early states, and we're going to fight one fight at a time, one battle at a time. The campaign's going to take one step at a time. It would be foolish to target a state whose primary is sometime in April, when we have on Feb. 1 New Hampshire, on Feb. 22 Michigan and on Feb. 19 South Carolina. Also, it's notable that the primary is a different dynamic than the general election, because the earlier a state is, the more influence it wields. So it's best to start early and try to build momentum, as the campaign is trying to do. MR: You mentioned a small budget, compared to Governor Bush's, that is precluding you from going all outWR: I wouldn't say "precluding" us. I honestly believe that if Senator McCain had $70 million, like George Bush, or even if he had $1 70 million, he would choose not to participate in Iowa, because I believe he is against the principle of it. Elections are not something that are bought;

SOLE Continued from Page 1 rights equality" song, the protesters, which included members of RAIL, SOLE, BAMN, and other liberal campus organizations, marched to the Fleming administration building. During the march, the protesters were followed by a Department of Public Safety (DPS) officer on a bike as well as many not-so-undercover DPS officials. To add a bit of militance to the protest;;.oneprotew;r hoisted a small bomb in the air as they marched. Upon arriving at the Fleming administration building, the protesters were offered a subdued welcome. Evidently, DPS officers decided that the easiest way to

elections are about ideas and people

WR: I think a lot of people might be upset by George Bush's litmus test for Supreme Court judges on the issue of abortion - I think that offends quite a few people. I think George Bush's refusing to speak with the Log Cabin Republicans, which is a group of about 100,000 homosexual Republicans, has been quite offensive to many people, whereas Senator McCain did speak to them. I think that most Americans are tired of politics being a game for special interests and the wealthy, and they definitely support Senator McCain's campaign finance plan to bring policics back to the common man.

MR: Elections are ideally about ideas and people, but in practice it is common knowledge that the more money you have, the better chance you have of winning the presidency.

WR: Candidates with far less money than Senator McCain, such as Senator Hatch, are participating in Iowa. We could easily afford to spend the kind of money they're spending, but we choose not to, because in principle we will not.


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ing specifically from my own feelings, I feel that McCain has appeal to many Republicans as he is a very strong, staunch member of the Republican Party, and he's a very popular member within his own party. But he also has appeal with many Democrats. He's couned many strong friendships with many Democrats in the senate, including Senator Kerry from Massachusetts. I think he actually appeals to quite a number of democrats. In fact, in the state-wide effort in Michigan, I've had many Democrats vol..: unteer, and say they prefer McCain to either of the Democrats running. MR: Why do you think that is?

"I strongly believe, and can guarantee, that Senator McCain will win the state of Michigan on Feb. 22." MR: How has McCain done in the polls?

MR: How is your financial siruation?

WR: Like I've said before, McCain's issue is a very mainstream American issue, and a lot of his ideas transcend traditional party lines, of what's Democrat and what's Republican. He cares more about America-I mean America's what counts. And whatever's best for America, that's what McCain's feelings will lie with.

WR: It's actually quite good. For 1999 we've raised over $20M in contributions.

WR: When I first got involved, McCain was polling nationally at single digits - that was back in May - and since then McCain has been skyrocketing up. We're currendy leading in the first primary, which is New Hampshire, and I feel it is a done deal that we're going to win New Hampshire on Feb. 1. In the state of Michigan, we've cut Bush's lead by 40 points in just one month's time, from Nov. 1 to Dec. 1, and I see no reason why this trend won't continue through Election Day, which is Feb. 22.

MR: G.w. Bush has been the frontrunner ever since he entered the race, and all the rest of the candidates have either dropped out and endorsed him or someone else, or have been striving to catch up ever since. Do you believe that McCain will win the Republican nomination? WR: I strongly believe that Senator McCain will win the Republican nomination. I think ultimately the $70 million or fund-raising efforts of Bush will be meaningless, as the people of this country will decide the issue based on the character of the candidates and the issues that they support. John McCain's message is one that will be heard by many more Americans than Gov. Bush's. It is much more mainstream to what the average American thinks and feels than George Bush's.

MR: If McCain does get the nomination, how do you feel he will do in a contest with Gore or Bradley?

MR: In what way?

avoid an incident such as last year's occupation of the Dean's office was to close the building down before the protesters arrived. Despite this setback, students from across the country spoke ' in support of USAS and the WRC. They offered personal stories, such as "Dolly" who was put into a hospital after becoming pregnant. Besides this, their main contention was to force the University to sign the WRC. A SOLE member offered an ultimatum, saying that if University did not sign the WRC before Fel;>ruary 1st, SOLE would take drastic measures to pressure and coerce. The University has already indicated that it is already examining the WRC policy, but it will not be ready with its report until the spring. This is evidently not quick enough for SOLE, although they " 'Ii rved oJfeted:ti6 reaSon wnysuch a dead- '

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MR: What will your role be if McCain wins the nomination?

WR: I think my role will be what it was in the primary. I will continue on with my efforts to make sure McCain wins the state~ of Michigan. MR: What will your role be if McCain wins the presidency? WR: Well I would hate to speculate. I hope that I would have a chance to continue working for Senator McCain as Presi-' dent McCain. MR: Anything else you'd like to add?

WR: If you want to speak specifically about statistical poll data, ~ .that were taken on Dec. 1 and a more recent one in the beginning ofJanuary show that in a general election against either Gore or Bradley, McCain would defeat both of them. These are natlonal polls. Speak-

WR: I strongly believe, and can guar-, antee, that Senator McCain will windle state of Michigan on Feb. 22. I think George Bush is going to encounter a firewall of McCain support when he comes to the state of Michigan. ~

line is crucial. Currently, three universities, including Brown, have signed the WRC. The WRC requires that universities prohibit official registration of University licenses to organizations that utilize sweatshop labor in creating their merchandise. In an effort to enforce this, the WRC utilizes local officials to monitor factories and working conditions. The goal of USAS and WRC is not to create a "cut and dive" program, in which universities would completely boycort to a certain manufacturer upon evidence of sweatshop laboi:~ Instead, they hope that the WRC will force officials to pressure companies and factories to meet their standards. They feel that revoking the license of a certain brand or factory \vill ()hly'tesl1kirlit'loss of jobs aM make

the plight of the workers worse. "':," What the WRC does not address is exactly how universities should press~these corporations to meet the standaf~; Will university's be forced to impose $ctI6ns on corporations? Or totally boycott',dterri?, Critics say that its ambiguous text atldlack of any clear means of implementati~n. severely weakens the WRC. ' , After seeing and a few more songs and a moment of silence, protesters chalked their demands on the Fleming administration building. They also left a monument to their cause, aid before sales sign re~ding "For Sale: University of Michigan to' Nike Corporation." ~ • ,":'!-'


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January I.,

The Facts about Marijuana By


s the debate regarding the medical use and even general legaliza tion of marijuana rages, one is likely to hear marijuana characterized as everything from a harmless and life-giving medicine to a brain-destroying and addictive drug. The propaganda of both sides of the debate as well as the reputation of marijuana as an illegal drug may leave one confused as to what it actually does. Even members of the medical and scientific communities do not draw the same conclusions regarding marijuana. Yet there are many facts that have withstood scientific scrutiny that are not necessary cornmon knowledge to the public that have carne to light in the last 18 years. However, as marijuana is becoming an issue of public policy, it is important for the public to know the facts in order to make critical decisions. However, since reading the necessary scientific papers is long, tedious, and difficult to those without the sufficient scientific background, the facts have been condensed, with the least editorializing possible, into the below report. Short Term Effects The active compound in marijuana: is delta-tetrahydrocannabinol, abbreviated THe. THC affects the nervous system as well as other bodily systems. These effects manifest themselves in a variety of ways, depending on many variables in both the marijuana and the user. The effects of marijuana that make it popular recreational drugs are giddiness, a feeling of well being, and relaxation, the marijuana "high." Other short-term effects that are commonly known are hunger, thirst, and drowsiness. Decreased memory, coordination, and reasoning capabilities are also observed. Interestingly, marijuana can also induce the exact opposite of some of the effects it cOffi1llonly causes in some users, as is the case with drowsiness, which is sometimes replaced by insomnia, and relaxation, which may be replaced byaxiety, especially



crease in immune response that would not be expected to be a major consequence. Also, the amount of THC necessary to cause an overdose in a healthy human is so high that it would be nearly impossible to intake the necessary quantity in a sufficiently short time period via inhalation. However, the effects of marijuana can be compounded by existing conditions in the user,.,-Ml well as by us.e.,of other substances. Long Term Effects The long-term effects of marijuana fall into two categories, those due to method of delivery and those due to THe. Since marijuana is commonly smoked, methodof-delivery side effects exist in the lungs and respiratory track. These side effects mirror those associated with tobacco smoke. The exact amount of damage done

The most important fact about marijuana is that there is still a lot that is not known. As more research is done, the benefits and consequences of marijuana will become clearer. with new users and high amounts ofTHe. It has the physiological side effects of increased heart rate, decreased blood pressure, and decreased intraocular pressure

an~~ I?ay .ÂŁ.o~s.i~ll. ~a.u~~ ~. S??~t:t;~I"? . ~e: ,

to the respiratory system has not been assigned an exact correlation to that done by tobacco smoke, although there is evidence that suggests th~t marijuana may be more dangerous, and the damage also is likely

to correspond to the method of sm9king. The chronic effects of THC may include an immune response decrease that has been observed in mice, which are generally much more sensitive to THC than humans although in many aspects their immune systems are the similar, and the manifestation of preexisting psychological disorders, although it is believe that marijuana does not playa role in creating these disorders. Also, users experience withdrawal symptoms when marijuana use is suddenly stopped, but these symptoms are minor compared to withdrawal from other substances. The claim that heavy marijuana use causes the user to suffer a "amotivational syndrome" which causes disinterest in social and goalorientated activities has not been demonstrated, since there has not been adequate evidence supporting that these effects are not due to the users pre-use personality traits.

The Chemistry THC belongs to a family of chemicals known as cannabinoids, some of which are present naturally in the human physiology. THC has a myriad of effects on the body, many of which are not well understood. In many cases, TH C effects the body by interacting with existing receptors on the cell membrane that receive cannabinoids used by the body. One case of this is the neurotransmitter anandamide, another cannabinoid, which is used in the regulation of sleep cycles. A neurotransmitter is

a molecule that communicates between nerve cells by being released by the axon of one cell and being picked up by the dendrite of another. The balance between anandamide and the molecule SN 141716, which prevents cannabinoids from bonding to the receptor, plays a role in determining sleep cycles. Since THC bonds to the same receptor, this evidence supports the observations of marijuana affecting sleep. It also bonds to other receptors in the brain to produce other effects. Evidence supporting the lack of observed permanent symptoms includes a study claiming that THC is non-neurotoxic, meaning it does not create permanent damage to the cells it affects. The most important fact about .marijuana is that there is still a lot that is not known. As more research is done, the benefits and consequences of marijuana will become clearer. For more information on marijuana, including an extensive analysis of its possible medical uses, Marijuana and Medicine, an Institute of Medicine report, can be found at readingroorn/books/ marimedl index.htrnl

Matthew Franczak is the Review s Assistant Editor. He knows a lot about that science stuff.



El Senor Guipe's Take on the Millennium s }2 III': It A , 1 WRITE this, the date is January 9, 2000. What is the significe of this date, you ask? Well, it shows that at nine days into the new pseudomillennium, absolutely nothing has gone wrong! That's right, no stock market crash, no need for bottled water, and U"O Giant Robot Army bent on destroying Earth. In short, Y2K was the biggest load of crap this country as seen since the musical group "Criss Cross" (remember them?). Now, don't get me wrong, I am not trying to talk down to all of you folks who thought that the world would end due to the Y2K computer probEl Senor lem. I'm just tryGuipe ing to say that .... oh, fine! I am trying to talk down to you. As a matter of fact, I think. you're all quite stupid. I mean, come on! Did anyone really believe that the government and all of the nation's businesses were going to sit back and let everything go to Hell (including their profits) by allowing the Y2K computer glitch to shut everything down? But the fact remains that people all over the nation bought bottles of water, cans of food, boxes of condoms, and all of the other necessities just in case anything happened. By "people all over the nation," I mean my family. Yes, certain members of my family were true believers in the Y2K , Konspiracy that would send us back to the Dark Ages, where everything was, uh, dark or something. So, in the aftermath of all the paranoia, I've decided to delve deep into the psyche of the Y2K believer and try to fig~ ure out just exactly why they believed what they did. Upon spending several seconds doing so, I've come to the conclusion that these individuals can be divided into basic categories: Category 1: "The World is gonna end because God said so!" The first of these categories are those who believed that the imminent Y2K disaster was not the result of thoughtless computer programmers, but of a higher power. These fanatics for some reason believed that God had set aside the date of January 1, 2000 as the time for really, really bad things to happen. Things like the destruction of Canada, Britney Spears, and the Michigan Daily. Hmm, doesn't sound so bad to me. So where did these people get the information that all

of this was going to happen? That is a really good question, and in order to answer it, I interviewed a real, live religious fanatic! * Me: "So, real live religious fanatic, what is going to happen on Y2K?" Real, Live Religious Fanatic: "The world's gonna end, man. It's all gonna be over!" Me: "Where did you get this information? The Bible? The Torah? The Koran?" Real, Live Religious Fanatic: "No, man, I got it from my Magic 8 Ball! It tells me everything!" Me: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever .. .say, can you ask it if that girl in my English class will go out with me?" Real, Live Religious Fanatic: "Response hazy, try again later." Me: "Stupid Magic 8 Ball."


Category 2: "I secretly want Y2K to happen because my life is miserable, and 1 want everybody else to be miserable too, darnmitl" Although nobody would admit to it, 1 firmly believe that many Y2K believers were of this state of mind. I mean, have you ever noticed that people who believe in things like aliens and crazy cults usually are total losers who have nothing to look forward to in life? You know the type, they live in a small hick town with a parasite wife and twelve parasite kids which they work eighty hours a week to support. Their only joy comes from getting drunk on the weekends and watching porn when nobody else is around. Of course, they can't actually afford to pay for the porn channel, so they have to resort to trying to make it out through the lines in the 1V Category 3: "It's a conspriacy, man!" Usually under the influence of "perfectly legal" substances, these gun toting, government fearing, X-Files watching anarchists make up the third group of Y2K believers. Convinced that the Commies are planning on taking over America on January 1, they've got their Ak-4710aded and 'the landmines activated. But alas, Y2K didn't happen. So to all you people who have generators and crates of spam, I have only one thing to say: Ha ha. Ha ha ha.


*Not a real,

religious fanatic.





assault weapons here to blast anything that tries to harm us back into the depths of Hell from whence it came. Upon hearing about the amount of protection that existed in our office, everyone on campus attempted to join us in hiding from the Forces of Evil. President Bollinger is here, Ralph Williams is here, even Jack Schillaci is here, whom we let in on the condition that he would entertain us by dancing wi th ' his pants down. Various members of BAMN also showed up at our door. Upon seeing them, we were shocked. The conversation went something like this. Funky Chinaman: "What do would turn out to be true. Yes, you want, you commie, pinko scum?" it all happened. BAMN Member: "Please, sir, It came as a toyou must let us into your office. It tal surprise to me. On the is the only place on campus that night of DecemEl Senor we will be safe!" ber 31st, I was G ~ Funky Chinaman: "Oh yeah? utpe But I thought you people don't sitting in front believe in guns." of a computer BAMN Member: (conferring trying to pick up with his colleagues) "We're willing to make girls online like I always do. As an exception." the clock struck midnight, all Funky Chinaman: "Uh huh. Well the power in the building went out, but only for a moment. that's all good and well, but I still don't see why we should let you in." Immediately, the power came BAMN Member: "Do it out of the back on. I stared in horror as goodness of your hearts." the face of Bill Gates appeared Entire Michigan &viroJ Staff. (laughon the computer screen along with the message "Hi! I'm Bill ing uncontrollably) You get the idea. Anyway, it wasn't Gates, and I've taken over your computer!"With the world long before Jim, being the soft hearted guy that he is under his gruff, mean, psychotic now under the control of His Eminence, Emperor Bill Gates, exterior, had allowed everybody and their brother to pack into the office. There was there really-wasn't much left to live for, and the invasion of barely room to move. We all knew that we would eventually starve to death. And aliens, the Giant Robot Army, when the bad guys carne, it would be the and the return to Earth of sevend of us all. Therefore, we came to the eral thousand Hindu gods made things even worse. The entire conclusion that we should use the time we nation was in an uproar. Presihad left to work out our differences. It waS an emotional time for us all. dent Clinton immediately gave BAMN apologized for stealing our issues an emergency radio address, nofrom various locations throughout the tifying the public that there was campus. We apologized for always making nothing to worry about. He was fun of key BAMN figures, like Luke prepared to solve the problem "Needs a Haircut" Massie. Our professors by resigning from the presiapologized for making all of the classes here dency and moving in with "two-sexy ladies." impossible to get ''As'' in. Half of the girls So here I am, hiding on campus apologized for not making their away in the Michigan secret crushes on me known earlier. Jack Review office with Schillaci apologized for being Jack Schillaci. And we ended it all with a big group the rest of the staff, only hug.~ hoping that Jim "Funky Chinaman" Yeh has enough of his illegal

I WRITE THIS, the date is January 9,2000. What is the significance of this date, you ask? Well, it marks the ninth day that we live under the administration of the Giant Robot Army that invaded Earth on January 1. To all of you who I laughed at, all of you who saw it coming, I am deeply and truly sorry. Who

Welcome to Earth, GRA!

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