Page 1

New Code Process Questioned Critics Charge Summer Activities Unethical and Exclusionary GREG PARKER AND GENE KRAss

Student Assembly President Flint gone into the drafting process was Wainess, Students' Civil Liberties obtained in primarily closed meetN APRIL OF 1995, THE Watch Chair Pamela Short, and Stuings to which various student groups Board of Regents of the Univerdent Rights Commission sity of Michigan commissioned (SRC) Chair Anne Marie the Office of Student Affairs to reEllison to assist in the write the interim Statement of Stuprocess. Rather than foldent RighbJ and Respons:ibilities. The lowing these directions, regents mandated that the new docuHartford then selected ment be presented at the October four people, all employed regent's meeting, which meant that by her office, to rewrite much of work would have to be done the Code. Two of them over the summer. were graduate students To many, this was the first of a who worked with Hartseries of exclusionary practices surford during the reign of rounding the design of a new Statethe old Code; a third, the ment of Student Rights and Respondaughter of a U-M vi~ sibilities (SSRR), otherwise known as president, is not and has the Code. Critics, including the Michinever been a U- M stu~ Last AprH, students rallied to defeat the Code. gan Student Assembly (MSA), which dent Of the students the pI:lsaed a Code-related resolution this regents originally named to the dewere invited to share their opinions. past summer, contend that constructsign process, only Ellison was involved The group stated that it would seek ing a new code in the summer prein the early stages. more widespread student input folvented students from overseeing the In early June, Wainess, Short, lowing the completion of the revision. process. Without a fully active stuformer SRC Chair Vince Keenan "'Ihat's how our last code was written, dent press and student government, an uninvited, albeit relevant threeand the results were less than scienthey maintain, and with a significant some - were denied access to one of tific, and not exactly successful," portion of the student body away from the early meetings. The Code group Ellison stated, expressing her displeacampus , students' rights may have stated that Wainess and Short would sure with this process. been overlooked. be contacted "later" in the process, There are other problems with Even the students who the rethe writing of the new Code as well. and Code group supervisor Mary Lou Antieau told Ellison that they were First, those students proffered as "stugents originaly intended to be part of dent representatives" in the process an unnecessary addition to the the design p:rocess were ~unned from workgroup because they would simare unelected and unaccountable to participation. The regents delegated the student body. Furthermore, they the process of revising the Code to ply duplicate Ellison's opinion. are on the payroll of the University. Vice-President for Student Affairs The resultant group then spent Maureen Hartford. In addition, the Second, Mary Lou Antieau, the judimuch of the summer collecting stucial advisor who in charge of enforcing regents specifically named Michigan dent input Any input that might have the interim Code, has assumed the role of supervising the writing of the new policy. Finally, and most ftmdamentally, We're for the administration remains hostile to of the University of Michigan.Readtl1e RlNieW for tf)eJate$innatiooa:t; any students' rights voice. "'Th.e office campus, and studeriatfairs. Look totheReviewrs~(Mng CultlJ!'e"f()f@ .. and its employees often characterize latest In the art$,andStayabreast.of cMIJi~rt~ . as theAe~~~tJilies > any vocal, anti-code student leaders as having a political agenda," Ellison to protect your freedom aOd rfghts; W6ukfyou like to ·. be~p~ 6fJ~ ) stated. "If caring about student rights Review? Seepage 12 for details ... :.... . . . . . . . . is a political agenda, I would hope



Welcometothe :Relfi"i¥!ii back

thel:4thYe~astheindeperld~~Catrt~~1tal~J6tJrri~ ·

3 Electric Snapple 4 From Suite One Acid Test Greg Parker makes the pilgrimage to Graceland.

New Code construction flaws exhibit inherent unfairness of such policy.


The Information SuperStopsign

See what to expect from Mohan Krishnan's new biweekly column.


that we all have one." Events in the summer reached a sort of climax when Ellison left the Code group. At one point, Ellison informed Antieau that she would no longer attend closed meetings. A week later, Ellison was told that her position was terminated because she bad "quit." However, she had never resigned. The Office of Student Affairs interpreted her decision not to attend closed meetings as a submittal of resignation. The group, now more commonly called the "workgroup," has expanded to six people - three graduate students and three undergraduate students. It has continued to gather information from student groups in a closed meeting setting. The workgroup has established an e-mail address, and plans two meetings open to all students in the very near future . Ellison's departure from the official Code workgroup does not mean she is inactive in developing a new code. The Student Rights ColD.lPission plans on developing an alternate code to that of the Code workgroup's version. She predicts that the alternate Code will be more compatible with students' rights. All of these activities will come to a head at the October regents' meeting, where the workgroup will present the new Code to the regents. Students wishing to get involved in the Code process have a few options. They may participate by attending the student group's mass meeting on September 13 in the Koessler Library ofthe Michigan League. Another strategy is to get involved with another campus organization that will strive to influence the Code development process the Students' Civil Liberties Watch, the Civil Liberties Board ofSACUA, and the Student Rights Commission are but a few. Ml



Ente r a new era in Review spar s coverage - the in au gural Sportscene.

A new classical columnist and the regular Uving Culture fare.

'''' ' ''~''''''''' '''f .., •.~.~".w'''''''''''f~~'''''''''''' ;'I'''',,,,_.,,,,~:;W~ _t

i~))~"W'~~' 'iWi;

~4!!. "




September 13, 1995

THL I'd\( 'HI< iAN Rt-.vlI路.W

o SERPENT'S TOOTH As wrual, it rained on the first day of

Festifall this year. causing the outdoor event 00 be postponed. In related news, Mother Nature has been charged under the Code for "endangering the mission of the University." Shortly after the University chose to use vacant fraternity houses as temporary dorms due to the large enrolling claBs, one student alleged that he had been hazed by the University. Upon later examination, it was found that his dorm food had not been poisoned after all, and charges were dropped, Commented the student, "I'd never seen green chicken before. I just got scared. "

'This 8\JIIlJ.'D8r, Roea Perot invited many politiciarut in his home state, in order 00 indoctrinate them into the United We Stand cult. Many younger Republican candidates were shocked to find that, in order to win their elections, they needed to bow before Perot and touch their heade to the floor. When asked about this practioe, Perot simply said, "It's simple capitalism. I wrote a check for $50,000 and bought their aouls."

A recent study showed that colleges and universities acroea the nation are dropping the SAT and ACJr exams from their entranCe requirements. One insider revealed that the exams would soon be replaced with a 20 question truelfalse exam conoerning the O.J. Simt>aon trial. President Clinton made another summer political venture :n3Celltly when he unveiled a program to cum underage smoking. 'Ihe program might now be dropped by the administration, after Clinton went downoown and found that it was craclt, and not cigarettes after all, tluit the kide were smoking. That evening, Clinton was narrowly saved from public embarrassment, when. just before unveiling his new program to illegalize cocaine, one of his aides informed him that it was, in fact, already illegal. Recently, Michael Jackson :released his collection album, HIStory. On the cover is a four story tall statue of the King of Pop. Geez, talk about a midlife crisis ... most men can deal with it by simply buying a sports car. In sports news, Mike Tyson won his first prize fight after being released from prison, earning about $25 mil-

lion. When the people from Disneyland asked him, "Well, Mike, where are you going 00 go now?" Mike responded, "Back to prison. It was the best business move rve ever made." 'lhe summer saw the release ofWmdows '95, a new operating system promising to make computers faster and easier to use. In related news, Microsoft has announced a plan to buy Congress. Due out in the Spring is Congress '95, which claims to make Congress faster and easier to use. You may have noticed. the large, rotating cube in front of the Fleming Building, but you may be wondering what its there for. Few people know this, but the actual purpose is 00 main路 tain cosmic alignment. If the Cube is aligned in the wrong manner, it can supposedly make everything th&administratidb' does go wrong. &ome believe this has already happened. In a rare move to 8Upport the spaoe program, Republicans in Congress launched a new probe into deep space, carrying the text of their "Contract with America" onboard to give extraten:estrials a glimpse ofth.e way things are on Earth. A few days later, the probe came back:m.arlted "RETURN TO SENDER" Apparently, even space aliens aren't ignorant enough 00 sign a contract with members of the Republican Parly.

Engineers have probably notioed that North Campus has even more construction sites now than it did last year. Supposedly, one of them is for the new Bell Tower. However, don't be fooled. It's actually being used to recreate the monolith from 2001: A Space OdyaBey. Said the administration, "All these students are ours. We will. use them for pleasure, we will use them for money. We will use them oogether." In response to the U-M's success in its deal on athletic equipment with Nike, the Greek associations have announced that J . Crew will officially be 8Upplying all clothing to fraternities and sororities. In addition, Molson Ice is now the official beer of the University of Michigan.

Before the U-M vs. Dlinois game at Champaign last week, lllinois coach Lou Tepper boasted that he wanted 00 play Michigan twioe during each season, because his team could use an-

The Campus Affairs JournaJ of the University of Michigan "Oh how we hate the warfant state." other win. Swprisingly, Tepper stood by this comment following the 38-14 Wolverine win. Following the same logic, Saddam Hussein is preparing his troops for another invasion of Kuwait, as a aort ofrematch with the United States.


ASSISTANT EDITOR: Gena K,... COpy EDITORS: BenJamin Kepple, Mlu Wang, Anthon~ Wen COIFUTER CONSULTANT: .....k Wilt YJSIC EDITOR: Dr.. Pefeq FIJI CAlT1C: Ryan PoII~ As many of you know, the U-M worlte UUSlRATOR: Brian O'KMf. hard 00 maintain political correctness. UTERARY CAlT1C: BII Ahrent

One issue we feel strongly about is the chauvinistic standard that literature b 'tte b h In e wn n y umans. response, the Serpent's Tooth suggests that a series of poetry :readings by campus animals be given. We asked a duck for a comment, but all she would say was, "QUACK! QUACK!" At the recent Women's COnferenoe in China, much time was spent discussing the meanings and usage of words that were disagreeable 00 representatives, including "mother" and "family." We think. that perbaps some time should also be.spent on the meanings of":relevanoe" and "priorities."

I-------------~ STAfF: Devorah Ad_, Chrll Barrel, Geoff Brown, Pit Eab., Nltalle Pearce, Rodeln Rlhblr, lIeghln

AoeIde, FlonI RoM

1---------------1 EDITOR EMERnus: NItII JMIiIon PUBUSHEEIS EMERITI: Aalon SteeImIn, Eric I.MIon

The ~ RIrie. II an ildependent. bHweektf IlUdel1-fUll j<unaI CI ctassIcaI bra! and IIbeRarIen opIricrI althe lkWerdy CI fdcI9n. we ,.lhIrlOlclnor ~ rronewy dOnalions from the Unlverdy CI MIchQIn. and have no mpect !of anyone thal doe&. We do. however, I\aI Bob Pacawood dol, and thal Newt GinIJIch InIetlia "Joke.' In addIion, Scooby 000. a peay bolls show. ConlliWb'ls 10 the Afch/gAn Rorleware tax~ lIMIer Sedion 501 (el(S) Clthe InIemaI Rev路 erg Code. The RI'IiIw. rQ alilialed wWl any poIIcal party or wwersMy pollical ~



" rIneedn,

I .

Unsigned doriaIs represenille opilIcn CI!hI edblaJ board. Ergo. fley are uneqlWocabIy conect and ~ You ~ 10 cisprOle !hi logic tI'III wenlir&o !hIi fonnItiIrI, lor you cannot S91ed IIticIeI and c:artoonI ItJI"IIIIIthe opir*lns ClIIe author and rQ nec:essartt 10. Fire all administrators, give It.- d .. RMtw. T1MI op/ID1I."..nted .. HI,... ., temporary agency a ea1l. cIIIIan _II1II ~ .... ClIIe QerIiIeI1 or CI .. UrWerIly 01 t.tchlgan. We welcon"e lele" and a.IicIes 9. Tum Arb into golf course, sell 00 I land lIlCCIIIage comments abed the joIIw


foreign investors for profit.

8. Tum North Campus inoo a living exhibit of architectural/ construction methode. 7. Put billboards on the sides of buildi:ngs to hide renovation, sell space 00 credit card companies. 6. Replace MCard with American

Plea. addresa II ~ ilqtirles 10: PubIshet. rio !hi I.ft:h/gIn R. . ., All advertJsi1g Inqwltes shOUld be diec:ted 10: Pubishel c/o the Mchlt)ln Roriew. EdIIDriII And BUIt,.. omc.: &lbOne .11 N. Unlvnlty AvenUi AM Arbor, UI 48101-1 265

EMAIL: MREVOumlc:h.eclu Ttl. (313) 80-18011 Fu (313) 1136-2505 ~.1"'''11II1IcHgIII'''''1IIC.

Express. Even it gets accepted at more locations.


5. Make deal to paint Bell Tower like a giant 'Ii.mex wristwatch.

Does the R6view make you rabid with anger?

4. Turn Fishbowl into automobile

dealership, and sell Jeep Cherokees to sorority girls. 3. Flood stadium and fill with trout. Sell fishing licenses.

2. Charge a toll 00 walk through West Engineering Arch. Fine the solicitors with the coupon books.

1. Convert the Diag inoo a parking lot. Convert the Grad into a drivein classroom.

Or does the R6vi6w make better toilet paper than bird cage liner? We'd like to know.

Love us or hate us, write us. The Michigan Review Letters to the Editor 911 N. University Ave. SUite One Ann Arbor, MI48109

or email with subject "letters to the Editor":




.. -

... ..

_ ,_ ...._-"-,, _,-------------------------...




September 13, 1995


It's Gonna Be Fun

up" sign. She waved back and I smiled about the incident all the way back to Michigan. After tracing the Mississippi River to Memphis we took the obligatory Graceland walking tour, complete with personalized headphones through which we learned important Elvis facta like the time Elvis went on

SuUivan, Elvis on tour, Elvis in magashops. I heard people complain about zines. Elvis had country hits, Elvis "sprawl" before, and I've seen comhad rock and roll hits, Elvis could HE GREAT AMERICAN munities go up in arms about strip dance. Road Trip. This fabled Amerimalls, but I can assure them that Elvis also gave people hope. He can institution is perhaps as their situation is relatively trivial comwas the small town boy from Tupelo, old as America herself Pick a destinapared to what I saw in Memphis Mississippi, who made it big. He gave tion or just drive - it's said that the not only a strip mall with one Elvis journey is better than the destination. dreamers hope and substantiated souvenir store, but an entire strip I embarked on the Great Ameripeople's faith in the American Dream. mall of Elvis souvenir stores, four in This points to the irony in Elvis's can Road Trip this summer and got all. And they all had the same stuff, nickname - the King. To many he the best of both worlds: the destinasave the one that 801d "Love Me Tenwas the second coming of the Mestion was the American pop culture der" shampoo/conditioner. The same siah. To me, however, he's just one mecca of Graceland; the journey a key chains, place mats, spoons, shot cool rock. and roll cat. myriad of small towns, farms, and glasses, airbrushed t'r-iiliirts, buttons, mile after mile of flat, 95 degree, 95 The best thing about this road and socks - you name it, these four trip is that it was 80 uniquely Amerishops had it. The only thing I didn't mph, W'l-e.irconditioned terrain. can. In fact, it's American to the We drove 1400 milee in all - scme see was an Elvis air freshener. Too would say exactly 1400 miles too many cheeziest, utmost degree. Not to say bad - I would have bought it in a to see 15 foot long couchee, the jungle that things wr-American are not good; second. it's just that once and a while I think room, and other cheezy Graceland I wish I could've been alive to see it's theraputic to delve into Ameristaples. But those 1400 milee encomElvis in his prime "Hunka Hunka passed seven different states, each cana, to become part of Americana. Bmnin' Love" days. It's nearly imposThilil nothow I gat to Grac:aand It's the American notion of "getting with a distinct culture - from the sible to understand Elvis's widespread away from it all"; it's the American Mississippi River barge-influenced a meatloafbinge and ate meatloaf for worldwide popularity. Whatever he notion of hitting the open road; it was New Madrid, Missouri, to the N~gra something like six months straight - touched turned to gold - or platia pi.lgrimage to the great metaphor of Falla-eaque atmosphere of Cave City, or when Elvisuied to practice ~ • num, in the case of his numerous the American Dream - Graceland. tial arts at the bottom of the grand Kentucky. We passed through three platinum records. Elvis mounted a So go to Graceland, and pick me up a separate cities named "Bowling staircase near the front door of full frontal attack on all forms of mebottle of "Love Me Tender" shampoo Green," one of which had a lawn tracGraceland. dia in his generation: there were Elvis - mine's almost empty. Ml tor pull (from stock to wildly modified) Of courae, Graceland is preserved movie8, Elvis records, Elvia on Ed in ita full late '5Oe-early '60s granto celebrate the city's annual "'Setdeur, chock-full of goodies like the tlers' Festival." A resident informed billiards room with pleated paisleyme that it was her cousin's husband I.S.I'. O FrICIIS' T I AI I I IG C Ol 'S like fabric on the walls and ceiling or who was driving one of the tractors, the infamous bar with blue and yeland it was this cousin's Bon who won low vinyl and three televisions. You the pedal tractnr pull. see, Elvis liked to watch all three Why does it always seem that networks at once, just like President people outside your community are Johnson. always friendlier than those inside The tour concludes with Elvis's your community? When we were only grave. I still get the chills when I see a few hours outside of Graceland, a even the toughest Harley Davidson family in a Lincoln pulled beside us men in leather tear up when they and noticed we were headed to come to the King's grave. You can't Graceland (a fact that seemed pretty help but feel bad for Elvis, or even hard to miss considering the three more 80 for the people to whom he foot long "Goin' to Graceland" sign I meant so much. I watched a docutaped to the rear window). They asked mentary about Graceland on PBS us if we knew where we were going, once, and one lady put it best: "'!here and the next thing I knew we were are three Kings in heaven now - my following these strangers into Mem. phis. husband, Elvis, and Je8U8 Christ." But what I find most shocking Heading back to Michigan, I obabout the whole Graceland experiserved a minivan struggling to keep ence is the simple fact that Elvis's up with US in light traffic - it pulled name is spelled wrong on his graveup beside us and motioned for me to Drive. Intensity. Those aren't words ter, self-confidence and decision-making stone. Elvis was born Elvis Aron roll down my window. When I finally you're l1kely to see in many course skills. Again , words other courses selrequirements. Then again, Army ROTC dom use. But they're the credits you Presley, but his gravestone contains deciphered what the lady yelling at is unlike any other elective. It's need to succeed in life. ROTC is an elTOr in his middle name, spelling me was saying, I discovered that she hands-on excitement ROTC will open to freshmen and sophomores it "Aaron" instead. This might be the had seen my "Polish and Proud" without obligation and requires challenge you mentally and physW'lderstatement of the century, but to sticker (and prototypical Polish eagle) ically through intense leadership about 4 hours per week. Register misspell Elvis Presley's name is a training. Training that builds characthis term for Army ROTC. that I display on my driver side rear pretty big mistake, to say the least. window. She asked. me if I am Polish Elvis's father and mother are buried - 8Ol't of an odd question to ask when next to him, and a marker pays tribdriving 70 mph in light traffic - and TIE SMUTEST COJ.LEGE COUISE YOU W rUE. ute to Elvis's little-known twin I nodded and gave her the "thumbsFor details, visit Room 131, North Hall or c:aU brother who died while very young. 764-3029 After the obligatory Graceland Th.U wed'e column W<J8 gholtt written walking tour came the obligatory visit by Elvu Pruley. Greg Parler never to the unofficial Graceland souvenir came bacl from. Gracel4nd. BY GREG PARKER






._ -- _. __.__._._....•--_._. ._----

,----.---.-------,-----.-----.--.--~--------' ".·,·.,' ..·,,,~..,.. ,. "N....~ .. , ·"" ·,'.W.....,"".A"''''~'',},..,.,,.,;,~',-{Iw"'~_n ';",.,_v~~~~"'"..... ..._ · - - -.....-




September_13J 1995

o FROM SUITE ONE Toward a Minimal Code


T'r\~: ... iHROv-I 00Vl~ '(OUR ~ICOTI~E. D't.LN~ ceJIG~S ~o (OM~ OUT


HE SEEMINGLY ETERNAL TRIBULATIONS OF FORMULATING A conduct code with which everyone will agree have taken several more exciting twists during the summer. Juat before most students left town in the spring, the Board of Regents voted not to implement the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities as a permanent policy, but rather to allow of group of students to rewrite the Code. While this may seem like a victory, albeit a small one, for the rights of students, subsequent events and the attitudes ofboth the administration and the regents have shown that the Code opponents were right all along - it is impossible to <nate an all-enoompassing code of conduct that is fair, equitable, and does not tnunple upon the rights of studentS. The actions of the adminjstration and regents during the summer show that they are Btill not aincere in their desire to enact a code formulated with substantive student input. One major problem is the arrogance of the regents. They esaentially have said that if the group of students, hired by the Office of the Vice-President for Student Affairs to work on the Code, does not produce a eatisfactory (according to the regents) version by October, the regents will write one themselvea, without any input from the students. Such a code will undoubtedly be more restrictive than anything that the student group could produce. Another affiont to the rights of students is the nature of the group that is worldng on a new code. 'lhis small group, working in conj\IDction with the Office of Student AfIBirs, has been. given the task of producing a new code, supposedly to provide true student input to the proceedings, but the major problem is that this group of student "representatives" is not at all a0e6untable to the studep.t body. They were not elected by students, nor were they appointed by the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA), or any other student group. They were hired by the Office of the Vice-President for Student Affairs and are paid by the University for working on a code. This is a conflict of interest at best. The University, in order to gain "student input" into a new code, has hired a select group of students. The ad.m.inistration should be condemned for its unbelievable arrogance and downright deceit in this affair. . Compounding this problem is the fact that this obscure group of paid students has been meeting secretly. Outsiders who have attempted to attend work sessions of this group have been told that meetings are not open to the public. One member, MSA Student Rights COmmission Chair Anne Marie Ellison, baa quit the group in protest ofthe dandestihe nature of the proceedings. The way that the University has "included" students in the process is yet another example of the administration's disregard for students. The events of the summer were just a cynical ploy to pull a on the students. Though it ta preferable that the U-M respect the rights of students by ceasing its dogmatic effort to enact a code of conduct, perhaps the most realistic option for the time being is to ensure that the inevitable new code is minimal in nature. That is, it should do nothing more than comply with the federal mandate requiring all federally-funded institutes of higher education to implement policies concerning alcohol and drug abuse as well as sexual assault. A new code that extends beyond what is required. by the federal government is simply not acceptable. Ideally, the goyemm.ent should not blackmail or coerce the University into instituting such policiee, but given the U-M'a dependence on federal grants, it baa little choice but to give in and implement the mandatory policies. It is not, however, required to posae88 an all-encompassing code that tnunples on free speech rights, treats students like children, and subjects them to double jeopardy, punishing them again for things that are already under court jurisdiction. Including theee provisions in a code is little more than an attempt to control the lives of students, something which has no place in a supposedly liberal institution of higher leaming. Sin<:e the regents already have asaerted that there will be a code, the only thing to do in the short term is to write a code that mjnimally satisfies the federal mandates. which stipulate that there must be some kind of policy. It could simply read: "'!he University's policy on drug and alcohol use and sexual harassment is to let the judicial system handle it," or words to that effect. With such a minimal policy, it does not really matter who drafts it. 'Ihe adm.inistration could write it, the regents and students could vote whether or not to approve it, if only to insure that it limita itBelfto complying with the federal mandates and nothing more. With such a policy in place, the federal government would be satisfied, the administration and regents would have a "code," and the rights of studenta would remain intact. Mt

'Hli'r\ '(OUR t1~DS UP! .. 路





Stock Car Racing and Personal Freedom N AUGUST 10, THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION (FDA) proposed several new regulations ostensibly designed to the number of children who smoke cigarettes. Some of the provisions of this proposal include a ban on all outdoor tobacco advertising within 1,000 feet of schools, limiting virtually all advertising to black-and-white ~nly displays, prohibiting brand name sponsorship of sporting or entertainment events, and requiring the tobacco induatry to ftmd a $150 million public education campaign to prevent kids from smoking. These proposals could have severe ramifications for all major professional sports, which rely heavily on tobacco advertising. Automobile racing, which has traditionally had very close ties with the tobacco industry, will be especially hurt by the new regulations. This controversial move has already drawn the ire of the drivers and owners of the National Association for Stock Car Automobile Racing (NASCAR), whose showcase series, the Winston Cup, is sponsored by the RJ Reynolds tobacco company. They believe, and rightly so, that the government is overstepping its bounds by prohibiting the advertisement of a legal product. The actions of the Clinton administration in this situation are a prime example of the an-oganoe of the president and the decadee-old problem of the federal government acting with hostility against the rights of individuals and corporations. While there is still some question as to the precise risk that cigarettes and tobacco products pose to the health of the individual, most of the medical profession agrees that smoking cigarettes has the potential to lead to serioua health problems such as cancer and emphysema, as well as other minor problems such as gum and tooth disease and bad breath. Additionally, snioking by pregnant women has been shown to contribute to birth defects and low birth weight. Recently, studiee have shoW!! that "seoond--hand" smoke poees significant danger to those merely in the same room as someone who is smoking. Despite these health risks associated with tobacco, it i8 a legal product. Individuals have the right to choose whether or not to submit themselves to . these risks. Yet, the federal government has been attempting to systematically regulate tobacco and tobaoco products out of the market. These latest regulations are merely the latest step in the government's march against the freedom of the American public to make its own decisions. '!he attempt by the government to juatify this censorship by claiming that it is aimed at protecting children is simply a political ploy to aid in its approval. After all, who wouldn't want to "protect" children from all these dangers? Yet the fact remains that路these latest regulations are simply another case of the federal government drastically overstepping its bounds. Mt ~NaU! Jamison


September 13,1995




The Quote of the Day BY MOHAN KRISHNAN


ANY WRITERS LIKE TO begin their columns with quotes from famous novels, sometimes even in Latin. Or, sometimes, they end their columns with quotes. Either way, it seems as iftbey hope to catch the wave, to somehow share in the greatnes8 of the words spoken or written by someone else. We praise these erudite people for their intellectual nature, because they know who Machiavelli is and have heard ofhle writing. Typically, when one analyzes their articles, one finds that they are summaries of other people'8 comments, completely lacking in innovative content. Worse yet, upon further examination, these are summaries and quotations ofthe most famous of passages - phrases that are the philosophical equivalent of bumper stickers. We've Blipped. into this pattern of putting writers on pedestals - that is, claiming that Shakespeare and Milton were such great poets that one must analyze their work as if it is perfect. Modern poetry, by contrast, is seen as some feeble attempt that pales in comparison. Not only is this repulsive on religious grounds, this idolization of mere men and women, it is repulsive on intellectual grounds as well, for it suggests that such great thought has occurred in the past that modern thought is a waste of time. It suggests that the greatest goal to which we can aspire is the melI1orization of the words that the claasical philosophers and writers had to say. I always get a kick out of those people who get a fond, prosaic look on their face, as they recite the words they've memorized from some famous work cipoetry. It is a line such as, "To be, or not to be," taken out of context and misunderstood, but which they believe has some supeinatural power, like a mantl'a or incantation that can tum lead into gold. For a long time, this attitude went hand in hand with the teaching of literature, even well beyond the days of the oral tradition, when it was neces.sary to preserve the spoken word. Students would not even try to interpret the texts that their teachers distributed to them - even though the very process inevitably creates something new - much less take pen to paper, or fingers to keys, and try to create art.

Mohan memorized Dickens and goes around saying, '"It waa the best of times, it waa the worst of times ... ,.

This is not to suggest that the it means that, whether or not you've works of other authors, both ancient read the great Greek philosophers, and contemporary, are without use; and whether or not you know what a on the contrary, they are well worth Marxist Existentialist Hegelian is, you reading. The time spent memo- r - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , rizing and quoting, however, is wasted when one could create and invent instead. It especially is wasted considering that most of the time, when one memorizes a phrase from a poem or novel or story, they remember the words and rarely remember the content. Some popular quotes have been so well--memorized. that no one even remembers the author or the work, just the words, and even their context and meaning are nothing but far-away memories. 'Ihis is where I differ from T si with the aid of Ja the camp of these wo gents conver ng VI pseudointe11ectuals the most, and this will probably be able to understand is the crux of what I find wrong with tJli.s column. It also means that the that way of thinking. 'lbey would like contents of it will be useless to you to foster discussi~ of great thoughts -' unle88 you think about them on your that otllere have had hundreds of years - own. I suppose you could just repeat ago. I want to foster discussion of my arguments verbatim and pretend great thoughts tluit are happening in like they're yours, and try to impre88 our own minds, as we speak. people in a coffee shop with them, Pseudointellectualism is the kind of thing that takes place in coffee shops or any other place where one can converse in the midst of a crowd. Typically, it occurs in conversations that seem twice as loud and boisterous as any other conversations :nearl>y, as if the participants want not only to impress each other, but to impress passers-by as well. You won't find any of that stuff in this column, in as much as that is possible. You will find attitudes and convictions, the things that come to my mind, and that I consider my own This is not to say that a writer should plagiarize other works; rather, if citations are necessary, a writer should use them minimally rather than letting an impressive stack of references replace the article. Good writing isn't about impressing readers. It's about confronting them, and

since most of them will fail to realize they are receiving criticism, but what's the point in that? I guess this makes me an iconoclast of sorts. I want to break down your stereotypes of what is important and what is not, of what intellectualism is and what an intellectual discussion is. In general, people seem to have these preset assumptions about writing and thinking, just like people a88ume that the man in a business suit is a successful professional and the man in a t-shirt and jeans works in a factory. '!hese assumptions are a part of society, and everyone has them. In this column rd like to help destroy those concerning intellectuals. I call this column the "Information SuperStopsign" because it describes the struggle which is characteristic of our generation. We are inundated by a glut of pre-written works and ideas, and we are forgetting how to think.. We flow along with the stream. of data that 8UlTOunds us, and we need to stop and remember that we are not inferior, incapable, or in any other way barred from the world of philosophical insight. Ml

For only pennies a day, you can support your Greenpeace brethren as they ravage honest Pacific Northwest fishermen ... or you can subscribe to The Michigan Review. Enjoy the Review while munching happily on a tuna sandwich. Join us as we fight for liberty, individual rights, and tasty canned tuna.

challenging them - iti~alwaYSimportant to try to meet ~s standard. Rather than quotmg famous people, or giving the reader something to quote to others, a good article should tell what the writer thinks with the hope that it will make the reader ask what he thinks. Unless a writer is writing a report, where knowledge of the actual facts presented is key, this should be of the highest priority. It would be much better if readers become provoked by ·d· instead aofbecommg coIumn. to co~ a disciple ~ anofl88Ue the wnter. .


------------------------"es I want to subscribe I ,


I For a tax-deductible contribution of$25 or more, you will receive a one-year I subscription which includes 13 bi-weekly issues and the 1996 Summer Orientation hssue. IPlease send my subscription to: IN I arne: I Address. I . lety. Stat· Z' . 1. e. Ip. I Please make check or money order payable to:



THE MIQlIGAN REVIEW L ________________________ 911 North University, Suite One, Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 _ .JI

So, what does this all mean? Well,

'."""'''..'-' '·,''',. ''M·,~· ..'"'''_'''' t.'''"''''·..·t~, ...'''·."w....~«_'':'''n ••'' ,...<'tI><'<~.''''I~.......;.u.Wl'....~'''''''\'W7.!~

iDS &f!l :~~#\!!IOJIj.'M:.,.~'a1l.





September 13,1995


Government.'P rovokes Mistrust ~'\i:



ANY PEOPLE TODAY, especially our elected leaders in government, have for.. gotten what is poeeibly the most im路 pc:riant principe upm. whidl our great nation was founded: the right of the individual to live his life and manage biB affain without the preaence of an overbearing government managing them for him. I realize that government is necessary to protect the innocent, provide justice, guard the nation against internatJ.onal communism and terr0rists and whatnot. 'l1lis is 8PiffY keen with me. But there is a great deal that is not spiffy keen with me, with which I have some eerious problema. It is wrong fbr the government to tell someone that he cannot fill in a pond on his bmd becaU8e it is a part of a federally designated "wetland" (whatever that is). I consider it a problem when federal agents and p0lice rely on tipst.el'B to the point upon which they simply shoot firat, and then ask queet.iona later, usuallyafter the media publicize the case. I

cxmsider it a problem. when police pJant cosmetics, the essential truth is that evidence to solve cases (this practice the American people are being govwas exposed recently in a couple of erned by bureaucracy instead ofthem.~r cities). I consider it a very seriselves. What has resulted from this? ous problem when federal judges are It has led to the mass implementation overstepping their task of interpretof stifling regulation, a society that ingthelaw. fears instead ofrespects the governTo go on and repeat more 0ccurment, people becoming less hopeful rences like these is unnecessary, If the government would assume its for many are widely known. proper role of protecting individual But the problem rights from infringement, people is quite apparent: the governwould trust it instead offear it. ment is getting involved, when 路111___________________r'

in a perfect - it has led to an inefficient governworld it would not get involved. and it ment that is unwilling and perhaps is becoming corrupt and hostile as well. unable to change. It does not take a professor to What I dQn't understand is why people don't make more of a noise . figure this out. One can glean this about this. Historians will study this , information from mere observation. Ask yourself nbw: do you really trust time period and laugh at the people the government? Do your friends? Do who did not ~ that they wereih you feel )'Our taxes are going to a good chains. Whilt we have become i&a purpose? Have your experiences with nation ruled by bureaucracy. The civil servants been good or bad? Do names change at the top and factions you like the fact that government move in and out, but regardless of tile other people who do not even kJ;tow you - can and do tell you whatto do with your life? I believe there is a time in which community rights take precedence overthoeeofthe individual, when one submits people to grave danger perhaps, but to say to a person who owns Join other students, alumni, and parents and sign the land that he cannot fill in biB pond or a tree because it might hurl the Reverse Pledge. 'The Reverse Pledge states that you will 'cut "environment" is reprehensible. To not give rt.l0ney to 11Pact, the Senior Pledge, or any other say to businesses that they have to University-sponsored funding drive until the Statement pay their employees so much an hour is not for the government to dictate. of Student Rights and Responsibilities (the Code) is abol- Possibly most outrageous is the conished. Apparently, student disapproval of the Code is not cept of eminent domain, in which the government will simply take the propimportant to the U-M , so we must deny the University erty from its owner, "compensating" what it cares most about - money. him later, c1aimingthat sodetyneeds it for a civil engineering project. The list goes on, crossing every aspect of !), , ~ Ikd !) IIJIJJ HDi. tItuud. tuUf life, from the way schools are run to the way the roads are built. ~ 10 IIu. 'k~ M~'4. ~ IUIid tJu, Worse yet, the government insists that things be done its way, or no $Jg,~ofg~R~a;,JR~I4.~ way at all. A very good example of this is the executive order signed by President Clinton that prohibits the fed~---era! government from signing contracts with companies that permaTo sign, e-mail the Michigan Review at or mail this nently replace striking workers, even though 8uch replacement8 are now with your signature and name to the Michigan Review at: perfectly legal. This typical act of executive stupidity by our Fearless Reverse Pledge Leader is mirrored in the everyday 911 N, University, Ste, 1 actions of various intrusive governAnn Arbor, MI 48109 mental agencies, such as the National .For more information or for a petition of the Reverse Pledge, contact the Review .. Labor Relations Board, the Environmental Protection Agency, the Bu-

Sign the Reverse Pledge



.. _-----------------------_ ..

reau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Fireanne, and the Department of Education. As we have seen all too clearly, the actions of these agencies - and others - are executed with zeal, in the attempt to Protect Society From Itself, and that dire results and oocasionalloss of life may follow. If these agencies were to have their activities curtailed or even abolished, then maybe things would run better, things would cost less, our schools would improve, and ninety more people will not die when the A'IF decides to storm another compound. In some sense, the way in which the government runs is very similar to the way the University deals with the dreaded (new and improved?) Code", Right now. we have a code of conduct that almost everyone believes is too oven-eaching. We want the Uni路 versity to stay out of our lives, and we think it should not care about what we do with our time as long as we pay our tuition on time. People hold this same attitude concerning the government itself: Now, wouldn't it be nice if we could get a nice, /w,ppy middle ground " here? Say, like those nice services government provides, but without the micromanagement. I think that people will be happy - well. at least . less unhappy - to pay their taxes to a beneficial government that governs for and by the people, and not one that places strict regu1ations on them needlessly. If the government would assume its proper role of protecting individual rights from infringement, people would trust it instead of fear it I thlnk that this is not only a positive change, but a necessary one as well. I do not mean to preach that the government is the root of all evil, and I do not want to see it abolished. What I do want to see is the government act responsibly and work for us, not involve itself in matters not applicable to the protection of individual rights. It is not right fur one person to be able to regulate the conduct of another person aelong as that conduct does not inteIfere with the rights of others. So, the question is, why are we letting the government do this? We need to realize that everyone has the right to his own choice of religion, that everyone has the right to his own choice of lifestyle. People have the right to live their lives the way they want, without the government saying "Not" America has a Bill of Rights for a reason. We need to exercise those rights, and prevent the state from abridging them. We need to create a system capable of working for us instead of against us - again. Ml



SepJ,e:rxiEer 13, 1995




College Football:, A Whole Lotta Fun BY PAT



OR ALL ANYONE CARED, it could have been Fresno State against the lllinois Center for the Blind and happiness would have returned. No longer was an entire nation of sports fans subjected to watching Gary Gaetti teITorize American League pitching or former Arena League players take center stage in the mockery of pre-6e8.son NFL football. College football , with all of its accompanying pageantry and appeal, tradition and flare, had finally reappeared - salvation in pigskin. It could have been a blowout, as the first game of the season traditionally is, and still pulses would have quickened throughout the country. The blood would pump harder in the veins of millions of sports fans who had become nauseated by professional athletes en masse and were ready for something different. Despite years of negative press about college athletes describing everything from rules infractions to playing SEGA in crack houses, the American sports fan was so angered by professional athletes griping about enonnous annual salaries and owners who expect fans to pay four dollars for nine ounces of watered down Busch Light, that he was willing to weepingly clutch a Georgetown sweatshirt and whisper, "John Thompson, I love you man." Or something like that. Take the second game of the season, for example. Here was a frighteningly impressive Ohio State squad essentially disemboiveling Boston College and yet people (as Nielsen ratings indicate) truly were interested in John Cooper's fourth quarter practice-dummy team's ability to convert on long third down situations. But that was the second game of the season, and it could not have been more second rate. With that said, the Pigskin Classic could have merely been excitement and happiness returning to the world from a hibernation that was way too long. But the wise Classic administrators brought the nation's premier collegiate athletic department along with 100,000 representatives of the nation's most extensive alumni association into the fold only to discover the Magic Kingdom that Anaheim could not provide. It was Michigan football, sans the marshmallows and vitality of the student section, here to rescue the downtrodden sports jl.mkies throughout the world. The stage was set as tailgaters filled up the Big House and Brent

Musberger and Dick Vermeillooshis home in Topeka, Kansas, was feeling something grab him., and it wasn't ened up for a four hour romp t.bXough just the Naugahyde couch on his nainept broadcasting. In fact, those two, ked back. It was college football exalong with the Wolverines play for citement 'The people who had watched. the first 47 minutes of the game, were Baseball Night in America for months the only forgettable aspects of the day. Vermeil proved to be unintelliwere given a new emotion: genuine gible , unfocused, and stupid, which interest in watching a sporting event. still put him head and shoulders above his colleague. For those of you who don't already know, Brent Musbe:rger is the worst sports broadcaster alive, and that is really saying something when you realize Ronald Reagan and Joe Garagiola haven't bitten it yet. True to form, Musberger picked his favorites before the game. This time, obviously having done no College football is aImoIt .. exciting as lawn bowling. pre-game analysis, on his own, he Ed Davis scored on a hard-nosed pointed out a true ~hman, Clarence • carry at the beginning of the fourth Williams, saying, "'!here's my boy. quarter. Suddenly, it was becoming Watch out for nlllD.her 33 today folks; interesting, though, with an elevenhe could be a dandy." point deficit and nine minutes to go, La ter, when Tshimanga no one was waking up Gramps in the Biakabutuka went down with a shoulLazy-Boy. Soon, this changed too. der injury, Musberger was overcome Dreisbach was slowly gaining his with glee. "Folks, here comes number sea legs (52 attempts don't hurt.) He 33," Brent said. He was wrong, again. found Mercury Hayes on two big Had he any sense of the way college passes, setting up the Davis touchathletics or football in general work, down. Now, on this second drive of the he would have Wlderstood that a true last quarter, he hit Mercury flying freshman who is fifth on the depth like his namesake down the left sidechart has as much chance of getting line. Toudldown! Wake up Gramps substantial playing time as a clueless, here come the Wolverines! way-past--his-prime broadcaster like The defense had perl'ormed admihimself. rably despite a few gaffs. Jarrett Irons Meanwhile, a game was taking was a wall, and the secondary was place. Watching the Wolverines play playing zone a little tighter than last the first three quarters against VIrginia made me wonder what was being said in the huddles. Maybe the team. was discussing the likelihood of Ross Perot's presidential aspirations, or perhaps arguing about whether the M Card was worth it. All this is to say that the Wolver~~ ..ines looked bad against a completely ~~:~~~;.\ \ ' overmatched VIrginia squad. Then, ,.' \ as 1he crowd and Venneil began chan~ ing Brian Griese's name in unison, Dreisbach and Irons engineered a comeback for the ages. In the College Football '95 issue of Sports IUustrated, TIm Layden mentions the surge of attention that teams with minimal football heritage, like VIrginia, are receiving. "'!he new tradition gets you on ESPN some Saturday morning," Layden writes, "then you lose to Michigan and you're gone." Here were the Wolverines out to prove him right. Joey Bag O'Doughnuts, sitting in

year. Then again, every Pop Warner team in the country plays tighter zone

than the Wolverines did last year. Then, back from the dead, came the prevent. VIrginia was marching again and eating up lots of clock doing so. Finally though, the Michigan defense strengthened, forcing VIrginia to punt Michigan ball, first down on the twenty, 80 yards to go in two and a half minutes, and everyone in the stadium started holding his breath. Then there were four seconds and 15 yards to go and everyone was blue in the face. It took one pass. One pass and justice was returned to the world, at least for a while. Than.k.s were due. Thanks to 'lYrone Butterfield for -"purposely" dropping an ill-advised pass to the middle of the field which would have ended the game. 'Thanks to Mercury Hayes for doing what, as he said in his own words, he is "paid to do." 'Thanks to the fans who did their best to drown out Brent Musberger's last incoherent words. Thanks for the greatest comeback in Michigan football history. With one pass the entire 1995 baseball season, all the press conferences held by Michael Jordan since the playoffs finished, and professional athletes of all stripes instantly vanished, if only for one glorious moment. And in that moment, college football, represented by the Michigan Wolverines, took over the role from which it had been absent since Nebraska won the national championship in last years Orange Bowl. Once again, college football was on TV at every Joey Bag O'Doughnuts' house in America, and life was good. Ml.

A biweekly look at the world's greatest sports: ,- ~.,'

Sportscene .".. N" '...."=""'=.~lI'<'*-°·\''!''''''<.._~IJ)i..''''''~i-<..''V_'7'-~~,>~~>l.!~t"<~'\~,~~~,~:


c ,



September 13,19951

{i::]j 1300/(ยง

The Case Against Nativism BY AARoN STul..MAN


tury - is vehemently opposed. to the

HERE IS NO ISSUE 'roDAY more widely debated than America'8 role in the world. Centntl to that iaaue are America's trade and immigration policies. On the right, you have the reemergence of an ugly nativism that views all thinga non-American - or, more precisely, non-Anglo - aa being degenerate and ru1turally deatruotive. As a reault, Pat BuchAn AD , N~ tionaJ &view, and othera have endOl"8ed a five-year moratorium on all immigratioo -legal and illegal. Many on the right haVe also betrayed the principles of fNe and liberal tzade principlee they claim to bold 80 dear - via their continued inaietence on subaidizing many domestic industrlea, a8 well aa their defense of harmful tarlft8 on foreign goods entering the United. Statea. . On the left, while )'OU will find few who would publicly endorse the idea of ending all jmmigration, a Bimilar mentality is at work: namely, that the state, acting in the name oftbe "national interest." baa a fundamental right to restrict man's mobility. And on the issue of trade, the left - having been in the back pocket of trade unions for the better part of this cen-

very idea ofliberalized trade. It i8 a frightening situation for claaaicalliberala . 'Ibankfully, there is a loud and principled voice for freedom that baa arisen to counter the arguments of the statists on the left and the right: The Future of Freedom Foundation (FFF). FO\Bl.ded in 1989, FFFs goal is to present "an l.UlOOJD.promising moral, philosophical, and economic case for individual freedom, private property, and limited government." With this end in mind, the Foundation baa recently published three books on topics of interest to all libertarians: The Dalwers ofSocialized Medicine, which chronicled the folly and immorality of nationalized health care systems throughout the world; Separating School and State, which presented a brilliant argument for the abolition, not the reformation, of government schools; and, most recently, The ~ for Free Trv.tltt GM Immigration (FFF, 143 PCJIJe8), a collection of 2'"3 essays - most-of which originally appeared in FFFs monthly publication Freedom Daily. Unlike moet ~ed proponents of open borders who argue for relatively minor changes in trade and immigration policiea on the basis that

their proposals have been proven to

torium on immigration is somehow considered to be a respectable posiStates, 't he authors collected in this tion to take. while unfortunately, but book make the principled case for the not surprisingly - given the tactics complete repeal of all trade and immiadvanced by most '1>ro-immigration experta" - a call for completely open gration restrictions. While this may appear to be a borders iI viewed as being outside the bounds of rational debate. The battlefoolhardy policy position to the variground is no longer level - a fact that ous wonks and technocrats who ad. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . won't change until more radical voices in favor of the liberalization of trade and immigration policiea are heard; voice. such as thiabook. The Case for Free Trade and Immigration is a resounding answer tn the critics ofliberal tl'ade and immigration policies. As the authors compiled in this book have stated. the United. States isn't fundamentally distinguished by its "culture" - as many right-wing opponents of L..-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _---I, open borders argue - but rather vance their empirical argument. with by the principles that are embodied in little interest of the greater iaaue at the Declaration of Independence: inhand, it is indeed just the opposite. dividual ~m, limited government, For it is not only the morally coITeCt and peace. By advocating further limits on man's mobility and his ability to position to take, it is also the position trade peacefully, opponents of free libertarians nuuI take in order to win trade and immigration are desecratthe battle - especially consideriiig the current state of affairs. . ing these principles and, in the process, undermining America's real culAs it now stands, the Buchsnanite position in favor of a cOmplete mora~: ture: th~c CQltur8 of .&eedom. Ml .

be "empirically" sound for the United

Blast-off with Apollo 13 BY BILL AHmI:Ns



oxygen tank had ruptured, damaging many of the ship's systems. Without some ingenuity on their part and on

N APRIL OF 1970, THE United. States space program the part of the engineers at mission control, astronauts Jim Lovell, Fred found itaelf in the unique posiHaiae, and Jack Swigert would quickly tion in that it had been effectively become the first Americans to lose swept away from the forefront ofpubtheir lives in space. lie consciowmeea. With the goo! of the Apollo program clearly , . . . - - - - - - - - - , Apollo 18, (Sllhouette, 418 reached leas than a year pp) co-authored. by earlier, the fervor and mission commander excitement that haa acJim Lovell and Jefcompanied the ~ty frey Kluger, is a brilof the Mercury and liant accoUnt of that Gemini mission. had mission and the trevanished. The commitmendous effort that ment which president went into assuring Kennedy had made had that the spaoemrlt rebeen achieved, and turned safely to flights to and from the earth. 'This book, premoon were quickly beviously titled L08t coming "business as Moon: The PeriwlUl usual.- Unfortunately, VOY08e of Apolw 13, the Apollo 13 miaeion waa anything but "busi- ~ to 1M moon - NOTt was the inspiration neea as usual... Fifty-five for the incredibly successful film. of the ~ summer, which hours into the miaaion, as the fragile was directed by Ron Howard and spacecraft hurtled towards the moon, staITed. Tom Hanks as Jim Lovell. an explosion crippled the ship. Althe book is able to Understandably, though no one knew it at the time, an

delve more deeply into Lovell's life, including details of previous missions of which he was a part and life experiences which steered. him towards the space program. In this way, the biographical nature is ultimately more satisfying than the more detached Il8lT8tive which the film used to tell the same story. In addition, the book is also able to include many of the more technical aspecta of the mission which the film could simply not always acknowledge. Although these details can become a bit tedious at times, in the end the reader has a greater knowledge of what is actually happening, and consequently better appreciates the enormous odds which were beaten to ensure the safe return of the crew.

Most importantly, Lovell subtly uses the book to point out some of the many problems which inevitably plague an administration like NASA '!'he evolution of the near disaster is traced all the way back to the manufuctmer, and the intricate parte oftbe command module which eventually led to the explosion are carefully dissected. Apollo 13, unlike the film, is not an entirely a feel--good venture. Lovell attacks the policies which led to the deaths of three of his fellow astronauts in the Apollo llauncb. pad fire and allowed a flawed spacecraft to fly. It is his experience and knowledge of both the politics at NASA and the action in the spacecraft which make separate this great book from merely a good film. Hi

Do you like free stuff? Is free your friend? Then join the Review's Living Culture staff, and write about the stuff you can get for free. .... -~--"'-,--------..---" -.,-.--

- - ,.,- -..-~-----------------


-, ,, ' :


I Se~inber:t3, 19,5 • :., I "

. " ,"

" ." . "

.' " I':'

'.,,·'.M""-I· .2L2i IC~i:X'; N:,t;:. " ,: Rf ":;, .mV --~..,.I:cE ';-i. -,V-:--1';;;·L"·I··'il."':'I"'&.'::'1y::E:f:G:::"""""O ":i:/"'[""':" T '-"-,"" IO 'II,",:' ·__~'-"····""'--T· ~I 'I \Jr\ t""l ' .' . ';',W ' . 'v" J" ~U '" \.;;I~ ; ,r'" . ,


?., '" ~::::','::

, ':':,<" .., . ",::;:; '

::~::;::;: ... ,':'/: :":""

' : ':'

>: ;"


,,, '" :,. ;/' <. ,,::', '.?:....:.,";::,>.,.. :':., "";:'"


" ,:...< ':"" '"

" , ;:',

" "." "" ~

;" ;-1 , . 9

\ ' ,;'(!:;--., ":'~::::i:\'[t'iji

@ :rilm

How I Spent My; Summer Vacation

is one shot in the film. that is most they set out to do. Crim8(m Tick even memorable, and ironically it is of Clint. had decent acting and a moralistic The close-up of him standing in the AM SITTING AT MY LI'ITLE theme. It was more psychological than rain, his hair soaked to his forehead, desk with a built-in shelf, listenphysical action, but by the last third and desperate sorrow in his eyes ing to some smart-ass kid telling of movie, I was psychologically exbrought a tear to my eye. If only I us about all the exotic locations he hausted. I just wanted'it to end, but enjoyed being depressed ... instead the plot kept going full circle, had visited. A tight-lipped girl talks Despite all its hype and antiabout how much money she helped over and over again. raise for the local animal shelter, A The next film I saw was by far the best of the summer. pre-pubescent frat boy rambles on about how many pool parties he had I wasn't expecting much when for his highly selective clique of I entered the theater showing friends. Suddenly the over-energetic Braveheo.rt, but by the time the dosing credits started rollwoman at the front of the room turns ing, I was sitting silent in my to me: "That leaves just you, Ryan. seat, emotionally drained. How did you spend your summer vaMel Gibson surprised me. I cation?" Yea, this is the first day of school knew he was talented, both Pick a grade, it doesn't matter, My as an actor (Hamlet) and a answer was always the same: a relucdirector (The Man Without a tant, "At the movies ..... Of course, Face), but I never imagined he could be so brilliant. Sure, this answer never satisfied the teachScene8 from the theater: Down In frontl ers of my youth, or my peers for that there are moments, even climactic build-up, Apollo 13 turned matter. "How can a kid spend his whole scenes, in Braveheart that are out to be a very good movie. With'Thm entire summer vacation at the movunnecessary and cumbersome. But in Hanks in the lead and Ron Howard at ies?" they asked. Well, I obviously a th.ree--hour epic,""o ne tends to ignore didn't spend my entire vacation "at them. Exceptional cinematography - the helm, the movie couldn't go wrong. The authentic feel of everything, the (the final shot of.the torture table the movies," but it seemed to constipragmatic tension, and understated tute the majority of my social activiinvokes pure emotion), fine acting, performances by Ed Ranis and Gary ties. There is not much else to do in a and the most ironically beautiful relatively small town whose only opSinise helped to make it an enjoyable battle scenes ever filmed combine to tions for excitement are bowling, the make Braveheo.rt my early favorite film, not to mention one of this movies, and later, field parties. And summer's only blockbusters (along for movie of the year. my habits haven't changed. Unfortunately, it was all downwith Pocahontas and Batman Fornus summer proved to be no difever). hill from there. The EnglUJhman Who ferent. It was a healthy summer at Went Up a Hill but Came Down a The rest of the summer consisted the box office, although it left few Mountain was a forgettable disapmainly of mediocre action pictures memorable films behind. The movie pointment, especially in the way that that were, at best, good entertainseason got started with a bang in the ment (Under Siege 2), and at worst, Hugh Grant, whom I enjoy, has beform of two high-budget action picgun to typecast himself an example ofjust how desperate some tures: Crim80n 'Ilde and Die Hard There isn't one good thing I can Ameriams are for cheap thrills (Judge With a Vengeance , These types of say about Johnny Mnemonic except Dredd). Among the better of these movies have to be taken with a grain that rm sure Bros. enjoyed a were Desperado, summarized simply of salt, They are what they are, and as a helluva good time, and nice refund from their insurance comone shouldn't expect much artistry or pany after their sets fur Blade Runner Waterworld. Despite a bathetic conoriginal themes when they enter the were blatantly ripped off. clusion and an interesting resemtheater. rYe always loved big--budget Congo and Batman Forever are blance to George Miller's The Road Hollywood action flicks solely for this another pair of those movies that you Warrior, Waterworld entranced me reason: escapism, pure and simple. must take as they are. Congo, howwith its design and its main characPeople who overly criticize these ever, was even less than it tried to be ter, who at least in the beginning, is types offi.l:.tns, who need to pick apart (it's about time Michael Crichton exnot the typical action hero. First every last detail and find all the flaws, perienced a poor cinematic translaKnight, The Net and VirtuOBity were, and who only see them as immoral tion), and Batman Forever was a little at best, forgettable, pop-culture garbage, really need to In the comedy category, Nine more. Joel Schumacher completely lighten up. There are no pretenses transformed the Batman films' style Months was simple and touchy-feely, with most Hollywood "garbage." Beand certainly had its moments. It will into what I consider a campier, friendsides, big-budget star-driven movies liernoir. unfortunately be remembered only are the bread and butter of the AmeriFor a romantic interlude in the can cinema. If it weren't for these midst of all these action/adventure high-grossers, Hollywood studios pictures, I attended the tenibly dewouldn't have any extra money to pressing The Bridges of Madi80n make the smaller films that usually County, during which we are sup-A brand-new jazz columnist receive more praise. And for all those posed to accept (and enjoy watching) -More classical nit-pickers out there, rm truly soITY a 65 year old Clint Eastwood playa that you cannot grasp the concept of romantic lead. The film. itself was -More books suspension of disbelief I take pity on enjoyable enough, despite the horyou. rible casting and the distracting and Both CriTn80n '!'Uk and Die Hard annoying flashforwards to Meryl With a Vengeance were good at what Streep's present-day children. There



for Hugh Grant's run-in with the law, which some film critics have asininely not been able to leave out of their reviews of tJris movie. Clueless was the other comedy I dragged myself to in July. Some critics have had nothing but fabulous things to say about it, and although it was sometimes funny, I don't see the genius in it. True, it allows teenagers the opportunity to laugh at themselves, but I don't think that that's really a problem with most young people today. I know I laugh at myself everyday. Finally, at the end of the summer, a couple of very good independent films were released. Both are still running and are very much worth seeing. The first, Kid8, is a shocking portraitofa small group of inner city youth. Filmed in cinema verite style so as to resemble a documentary, it describes an extreme group of teenagers on the fringe of society, 'Th borrow a now-cliched phrase about this film, it may turn some stomachs, but it won't turn any heads (away from the oc:reen, that is), The final film I saw this summer was one of my favorites, The Usual Suspects. A tight, fast-paced, noirish mystery-thriller, The U8ual Suspects begins with a fantastic ensemble cast, adds a heist-gone-awry starting point, and takes offfrom there. I was enveloped immediately into the story, and it left me guessing until the final shot. Although not the best summer for movies, 1995 certainly left an indelible mark on me. Braveheart will probably stay on my 'Thp-Ten list for years to come, and I discovered a valuable lesson: the independent, low-budget films that are the hardest to find are usually the films that are most worth the wait. So for all the other film nuts out there who can't seem to stay away from the darkened theater for more than a week, never be ashamed to tell the whole world how you spent your summer vacation - and when you're all famous directors some day, never cast a 65 year-old man in a romantic lead. Ml

Next week in LIVING ARTS:


-More film -More music -More funl


(6 '",','1' " ",.".,;""' .\

· " "''''''''W''~7.....>;,<:;t\~\~'~'I--'l'I\'\l'Q\\),,~·.t\('f(~~'''!I',''''



.- ....-.'....




. . . . .'..-

. - - ,. '.- - - - .-. .- -- '-;-:;;', 1

~ptem~erl~, 1995\


Music: C{assica{

Cecilia Bartoli US'h ers New VMS Season



USIC FOR THE Italians," French composer Hector Berlioz once complained, "is a sensual pleasure and nothing more. For this noble expression of the mind they have ~y more retpect than for CecIlia BartolI the art of cook· till AudItorium ing. 'Ibey want SepeeI.1ber 2t a ICOl'e that, like ,L--_ _ _ _ _- ' a plate of macaroni, can be a88i.milaflKl immediately without their bavinI to think about it, or even to pay attention to it." Wf!Il'e Berlioz to attend Cecilia Bartoli's September 29 Ann Arbor recital, however, hie opinion of the Italian tradition might change. Attendeea hoping to wheedle out either an aftinity for pasta or a tnice of alootbeea will be disappointed. For renowned mezzo-eoprano BartOO, sinpi the music ofher coun· trymen is her forte and is, by her own r - ,- - - - - - - ,

u a IIOphomore in LSA. the fiT'tlt appearance of her clastricaJ mlUic column in the Review.



Tlau u

admjBSion, where she is "at home." As the University Musical Society ushers ita 1~1996 season with Bartoli and pianist Steven Blier in perfor· m.aIlCe at Hill Auditorium, Ann Arbar's music community will have the opportunity to witness the Italian artistry that has been her passport to 8UCCe88. With a perfectly focused, precise, and colorful voice, Bartoli has won international praise since winning the role of RoBina in Roeaini's II barbiere di Siviglia as a young singer in Milan. Two years into a professional career that has brought her to stages from Salzburg to Glasgow to Houston, Bartoli flourishes in both song recitals and major opera pr0ductions. Perhaps most impOrtantly, her etill-developing voice shows no signs of wilting. Attendees at the opening night , recital will be trea~ to a diverse;; program of both French and Italian composers. Berlioz himself is on the list ofrepertC)fre, as Bartoli givea us Zaide. 1he first oftbe French Roman· tic composers,'Berlioz was a musical genius whose gift for creating tonal power and color brought a new di·

Free Classical Concerts! The University of Michigan School of Music regularly offers concerts and recitals of high-caliber performance and talent, and with diverse repertoire and genre. Best of all, these programs are typically free and open to the public. So, if10ur budget won't permit you to snag a $55 ticket to the Israel Philhannonic Orchestra (April 18 at Hill), you am still eI:\ioy quality classics at no oost. Bonus.

mension to the symphony orchestra. Personally, his quick temper and brazenness did not go unnoticed. Schumann criticized his colleague for "... not try(ing) to be pleasing and elegant. What he hates, he grasps fiercely by the hair; what he love8, he alm08t crushes in his fervor.

L'Italiana in Algeri, and La Cenerentola. So evident was his gift for writing infectuous melodies that Rossini once bragged he could "set a laundry list to music." Exasperated seJ..t:.decreed "Serious" composers saw Rossini a8 a happy-go-lucky, unaf· fected virtuoso. Indeed, Richard Wagner concluded that with Rossini "the real life history of opera comes to an end," for drama is "swept away" and the performer is allotted flashy genius as the primary task. 1be program is rounded out with works by Bizet, Delibes (a favorite of late-19th century powerhouse composer Piotr Tchaikovaky), Ravel, and Vl8.l'dot. For those unable to obtain Bartoli WIt too much for thIa mueIcian tick.eta for this now-sold out perfor. mance, Bartoli can be heard on comAt the other extreme, Italian pact disc on the Decca label - includGioacchino Rossini's Bokro, L't;Jridte ing a two-disc set of Rossini's La de tancienne, and Orph.eliM de Tyrol, CenerentoIa (from which she will sing among others, bring an easygoing the Rondo at Hill). Whether live or showiness to the stage. Roasini'8 penascribed to electronics, Cecilia chant for melodic adventure made his Bartoli's voice carries such rhythm opera the :rage of 19th century Italian and musicality so as to cast aside opera. By the age of twenty-~me, he criticisma of "unthinkingness" and was world-famous for churning out bring us the fine tradition of Italians such spirited work such a8 La. Scala di Seta, 1l Signor BrU8C~!po; . ... singing Italians' music. m It

1/2 Price ClassicalTix " 1be University Musical Society's (UMS) half-price ticket sale for students will happen this Saturday, September 16, from lOam - 1pm at Hill Auditorium. Excellent seats to most of the UMS's 1995-1996 season are still available; the concert guide and season outline can be picked up at the box office in Burton Tower (next to the Modern Languages Building). Payment for the half-price ticketa may be made by cash, check. VISA, or MasterCard, and must be accompanied by student ID. For more information, contact the UMS Box Office at 764-2538 (open lOam - 6pm M-F, lOam - Ipm Saturdays). Mt

Coming up in September: 17 Sunday: MM Recital Mary Halbeisen, organ, Hill Auditorium 4pm 18 Monday: Guest Master class Keiko Abe, marimba, McIntosh Theatre 8pm 24 Sunday: Faculty Recital Andrew Jennings, violin; Anton Nel, piano Complete Beethoven Sonata Cycle: Program 1 Recital Hall (School of Music) 4pm 30 Saturday: MM Recital Erika Caston, piano, Recital Hall8pm

Join Living Culture, the Reviews arts section. Do you like what you see? Do you want to write about art, fashion, television, music, restaurants, or any other form of culture?

Come to the Mass Meeting, Sunday, September 17,7:00 PM, in the Koessler Library, Third ROOf, Michigan League. See you there.

[~~~~~~ ,




! MIt Isn't Easy Being a Music Editor BY



HAVE NOW ENTERED MY fourth year of writing music for the Michigan Review. Let me tell you, it is getting old. Every other wook. I try to find good albums to review, good bands to interview, and good shows to preview. For a few reasons, this is actually harder than it seems. First of all, labels won't always send me the albums I want. Everyone buys the R.E.M. album, why would WQlner Brothers waste the two bucks sending it to some dork music writer at a tiny paper in Ann Arbor? The albuma I do get generally suck pretty bad. Have you ever noticed how much death-metal is festering away in the bowels ofW82oo Records? 'That was all mine. Lately, I have tried very hard to avoid lame, three-paragraph album reviews that I have printed before. Usually, that means that I need an interview. Many bands don't do interviews, and many of the bands that do should seriously consider stopping. I have lots of interview tapes filled with a bunch of"uh. .. I don't know"'s from Wf'Jf!fZnr, the cranbenies, Live and tons of others. Let me know if you ever want to hear tlrem, Many bands won't say anything that might offend their label, their producer, or other bands. When I asked Sergio Vega from Quicksand what he thought about toW'lllates the Offspring he said, "Uh .. . I haven't really heard them." Yup. And then l' have to please the labels. If I don't write positive reviews of their bands, they won't send me anything else. It makes it hard to be on the good side of major labels that are consistently serving up a platter of musical f~s. When it comes down to it, I really like being the music editor for the Michigan Review . I would never have heard some of my favorite bands (the Dambuilders, Echobelly, Fuzzy) if I wasn't. I have had the chance to talk. with a lot of rock and roll stars, and rake in lots of free CDs. I'm just getting a little burnt out on some of the responsibilities. "Yeah, so what's your point?" you ask. First of all, don't get saucy with me, I'm a music editor/writer and I don't need a point. Really, I'm just trying to tell you that I am going to try really hard to do a little more than your standard album reviews this year. Then again, I always tell myself

u still a regular selection in Drew'1I stereo.

De{ Leppard'1J Hysteria

that this semester I am going to try reaUy hard to get a 4.0. Anyway, there are no bands worth writing about for this issue. '!be Reverend Horton Heat is coming to Detroit on Sunday, September 17 but I already did a big piece on them last year. Soul Coughing is coming to the Blind Pig on Wednesday, September 20 but they are crappy.

So here it is, two albums and an EP later, and they still rock me. You probably didn't hear too much about their recent album, King For A Day,


NSTEAD I AM GOING TO tell you about some of the rock and roll shows I went to this summer. I'll also show you some pictures I took. Why? Because I feel like it. I saw Rex at the Blind Pig in the beginning of May. Even though Rex features ex-members of Codeine, not too many people were there. But it was refreshing to stand and watch the band without a bunch of people sweating all over me. Of course, the night wasn't pe}fect: I ate a bunch of the o~ted Blind Pig poprom and, thanks to my financial status, had to drink out of the 'bathroom sink. Regardless, Rex's anti~ctic, melancholy 80ngs are a great relief from the popular quiet verselloud chorus fonnula filling the air-waves. '!bey may not be one of the hippest bands to like, but Faith No More is one of my favorites. When I was fifeteen, my friend and I went to one of those autograph-eigning things at Harmony House to meet Faith No More. This was a few weeks before "Epic" was everybody's favorite song, so no one was there. Not to say that I was cool or anything - I think that

Sonic Youth', Thurston Moore Def Leppard's Hysteria was still on my home stereo rotation. Anyway, I was in total awe of vocalist/freak Midtael Patton, and he actually talAed to me and ~ned my CD cover.

Courb1ey Love ... Yummy

Fool For A Lifetime. They, like Ned's Atomic Dustbin, were one of those first alternabands that were a little bit too rooted in cheese-rock to stay cool. But they, like White Zombie, have tapped into the the baggy pants wearing kids who like Smashing Pumpkins as well as the black t-ehirt wearing kids who like Slayer. '!bat means big $$$, and their May show at the State Theatre in Detroit was pretty packed. Although they played the new rockers, namely "Ricochet," as well as all of the old faves, like "Mid-Life Crisis" and "We Care A Lot", Michael Patton was unusually tame, rarely interacting with the crowd. Damn! He didn't even wear his "Remember kids: Satan loves you!" shirt. I guess he flatulated into the microphone at a show a while ago. It would be pretty hard to top that. I think Lollapalooza has been pretty weak these last few years, but this year's has-been line-up sort of intrigued me, 80 I went to Lolla~ooza while I was out in Colorado. Instead of enduring the Mighty Mighty Bosstones' we-aren't-verygood-but-look-how-cooky-we-are shenanigans, I watched Doo Rag on the second stage. The "drummer" played on a box and some pails while the guitaristlvocalist sang through a vacuum cleaner device. The duo had an extremely weird but interesting take on rock and roll. In fact, I watched most of the second stage acts. Possum Dixon played slightly noisy, slightly melodic upbeat rock and roll, making occasional use of an organ. Poster Chil-

dren played decent indie-rock that will probably never be catchy enough to sell records. Apparently they avoid memol1lble melodies to stay true to their punk-rockness. Although I sort of like the Poster Children, it probably won't be too much longer until Warner Brothers wisely drops them. My only complaint with second stage headliner Coolio was that he had about a dozen too many people in his crew. Ai! for the main stage, I really enjoyed Sinead (y Connor. Her beautiful "You Made Me The Thief of Your Heart" (Bono actually wrote it) from the soundtrnck for In the NaTTU! of The Father was the highlight of the entire evening. If you are a fan of Sinead, you'll want a copy of that song. Cypress Hill was as energetic and potr-obsessed as you might expect. . Marijuana plants on stage, a giant bong ... boy, it was a fratboy's dream. Other than that, Pavement's whole slacker hang-up put me to sloop, I have never liked Beck (and never will) and I missed the Jesus Lizard while I was standing in line for the restroom. In fact, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed Lollapalooza's mainstage very much if I hadn't had a photo pass that enabled me to soo Courtney Love's nastiness up close and personal. Even better, Sonic Youth guitaristlvocalist Thurston Moore tried to hit me with his guitar. Wow. How punk rock! Late in July, Love Battery graced the Shelter in Detroit. I could sit here and write about how great they are but, if you don't already know, you don't deserve to know. Eve's Plumb opened up. 'The band created some unmemorable india-rock while the female-vocalist oversang like Alanis Morissette. But unlike ole Alanis, the vocalist for Eve's Plumb isn't hard on the eyes, so I could actually tolerate them. I really looked forward to seeing Quicksand, Civ and Seaweed as part of the Warped Tour. Since the show started at 1:30pm, and there were about a dozen or so bands and my favorite three were billed later in the day, I thought it would be safe to show up at 5:00. Boy, was I wrong - the bands played in an almost random order. I missed almost every good band (although I did catch two songs from Quicksand). I was left with the heinous L 7, the boring Tilt, and the average pop punkers Bracket. Guess who headlined the show even though Quicksand was the billed headliner. Local Detroit rockers Horse - why I do not know. Maybe it's because Horse features an ex-member of Sponge. What a great claim to fame. Ml '·' ''i''W''W01 ''':''''~':' ''·'''~}''''''''';W.~'~ ~~M~;l,\I'M;y".'S'I{.~~'l.W49Y$.~111;l"'i':«MruW:WU:(l5;~ w:! 1fM~:O~

!;. t ,.;

J I~



Do you classify yourself as one of the following?

Hard Worker?

Artsy? /

Freedom Lover?


Then read on, friend.

''' , .,

The Michigan R.e view, U-M's independent journal ot.C,lassical libera l and libertarian thought, is look ing for writers, researchers, photographers, copy editors, busi ness staffers, layout experts - anyone who is interested in becoming part of the Michigan Review. No experience is necessary. We'll help you learn the ropes. So get invovled.


Come to the:

ass Meet7 PM , Sunday , September 17, at .t he Koessler Library on the Third Floor of the ichigan League ·Building. Or give us a call at (313) 662-1909. We'd love to talk to you. . ,,,,..,,.·,...,_ _

·-·- "- ~- -_ ··"" · ~ ·" ·, ~ ·~"


__=.x . , . _. ._ ...,., ., ...,_