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U-M Bureaucracy to Wither? Funding Cuts May Compel U-M to Reform, but May Threaten Curriculum by Joe ColettI In response to budgetary pressures, the School of Art will discontinue the Interior Design program after the 1993 Winter term, according to an addendum to the school's prospective course guide dated February 1, 1992. The decision has already affected both the graduate and undergraduate programs, as applications for them are no longer being accepted. Art School Dean John Stephenson explained that the school's budget has been cut by 2.7 percent this year and noted that future cuts are probable. Due to Professor Jene Snyder's planned departure from the Interior Design program, the School of Art has been able to deal with the cuts rather easily this year. Several other conditkns facilitated the School of Art's decision as well. For instance, only about ten students graduate from the program each year; consequently, the number of students likely to be affected by such cuts is minimal. In addition, because there are only two other faculty members in the program besides Snyder, both of whom lack tenure, the cuts will not force the U-M to abandon any of its most treasured faculty. Although Stephenson does not foresee further cuts in the remaining two years of his term, he cautioned that many "hiring units are going to have to m~e difficult decisions" if they are to meet budget requirements.

Rackham does not pay for academic proStephenson added that because only better than many other units due to the 10 percent of the School of Art's budget is fact that salary increases were held to grams and classes directly, most of the devoted to administrative costs, there is three percent this year: a figure which school's revenues are allocated to student financial aid, which is sacrosanct. little room to falls below the cut expenses in Universi ty's To deal with the 2 t03percent budget cut that area. The average of 4.5 which Rackham faces, funding for adremaining ?O percent. Addiministrative support has been cut. Acpercent of the tionally, the cording to Dean John D' Arms, the susbudget is comCollege of pended publication of Rackham Reports, mitted to sala~, Eng ineeri ng which details work ongoing in the school, ries and ben- >/ spends only and a possible change in the publication , . . '..,.. .• about 80 perschedule for the graduate admissions broefits, largely for tenured profes'>~ l '~" " cent of its budchure typify the cuts in service which sors, and is ., . / ;i '::, J get on salaries, Rackham is undertaking. While D' Arms therefore un.. and Gul ari ..,St'8U!(f that there is "no intention of laying touchable. said that the"; anyone off," he noted ' that a position Bud get ' nminirg funds vacated due to a retirement would probcuts are also reare used to pur-- ably not be refilled. quired in other chase equipChief Financial Officer Dr. Farris colleges within ment and fiWomack said thatthe University's fiscal the U-M. The nance various year runs from July 1 to June 30, whereas College of Enprograms. the state does not set its budget until gineering faces The ColOctober 1. There was a need to "request a 2.57 percent . lege of Literaa sequestering [of 2.5 percent]" of the ture, Science amount that had been committed to the budget cut this year. Erdogan and the Arts schools when the U-M received less than Gulari, Senior was also preit had expected. Associate Dean pared for a Gulari pOinted to cuts in state fundfor the college, F' W ck, Chi f F' . I fft budget cut this ing as a major factor contributing to the ams oma e manoa 0 cer year, said John need for budget reductions. He felt that, said that this Cross, Associ"at best," state funding will not be incut was exate Dean for the Budget. The budget has creased next year. Others agreed that the pected and that $1.32 million had albudget reductions are not just one or not been cut in real terms, Cross exready been earmarked for .return to the plained. LS&A initially received an excentral administration. Please See PIlge 14 cess of approximately 3 percent, and was The College of Engineering has fared asked by the administration to return about 2.5 percent. LS&A is therefore operating on nearly the same budget as last around Hash Bash. year. "We expect that Judge Shelton Wit! Nonetheless, Cross said the school is announce late this Friday that 1ha lJ-M constantly seeking ways to economize, has to is6ua NOAML a 'pemtit 10 speak and that "when opportunities arise, (we 6 on the Oiag during Hash 8ash,- said will) take them." Thus, the number of Brook. "The lI-M will either have to associate deans has been cut from five to compty or and up itt contamptd court. four, a move facilitated by completion of Evan it it tries to file an appeal on terms of the Associate Dean for Under8 Monday. it witl sUU have disobeyed graduate Education and the Associate Judge Shelton's order dlJ'iqg-the weekDean for Facilities and Computing. Furend,· he explaif1ad. thermore, Michael Martin, currently As'We're ready to pick up the permit sociate Dean for Planning, will take on whenever the ~ is prepared to grf¥11 the duties of the Associate Dean for Unit If the court finds in NORML's favor dergraduate Education, as well. and the U-M refuses to comply it could The funding of the U-M's Horace face a SUbstantial fine for contempt of Rackham School of Graduate Studies, how ever, is qu ite another story. Since

NORML expecting Victory Over U-M Ad." DeVore Secretary ot the U-M's National Organization for the Reform ot Marijuana laws (NORMl) Adam Brook stated late yesterday that he predicts that CwcUt Court .kJdge Donald Shelton will announce Friday that the lJ-M must grant NORMl's request to reserve the Oiag to speak during Hash Bash on April 4. NORMl filed a suit against the lJ-M when \he Student Organization Development Center (SODC) followed a a directlva issued by Associate Vice President for AcademIC Affairs Mary Ann Swain which instructed $Ooe not to give NOAML a It 10 soaak on the Otag at any lime . -~

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Muir's Farewell Interview: William Bennett Interview: Steven Hagar

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Federalist Paper

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The JFK Mystery

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'O'Rourke's Latest 15

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April 1, 1992

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW..

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Serpent's Tooth A recent advertisement for Pat Buchanan's book Right from the Beginning has an interesting quote of praise: "To know what the conservatives are thinking you have to read Pat Buchanan." The author of the quote: George Bush. No one ever said you knew, George. According to a recent USA Today survey, a whopping 18% of Americans said they actually trust Bill Clinton. A Review follow-up poll found that of that 18%, 68% thought that Gennifer Flowers are a plastic table centerpiece and 24% thought that she is "that bimbo running around with Jimmy Swaggart." The ACT-UP national organization is at it again, this time protesting the Boy Scouts with the slogan "We're here. We're queer. Were going camping," So do they have campfires or campflames? There has been some talk lately about televising MSA proceedings on public access television. Now that MSA reps are engaging in slug fests, we suggest a more appropriate medium: pay-per-view. Did you hear about ACT-UP's forum to protest "homophobia" at the University Hospital? Four people showed up. The remaining 34,996 or so students obviously need sensitivity training. We cordially welcome the newest initiate into the Review's Hall of Shame and Blathering: Richa'rd G. Mack. If Y9u want to read some hilarious radical twaddle, check out his letter to the editor in the March 25 Daily. Mack's letter was a defense of CCNY Professor Leonard Jeffries. He complains about America '1ying in a bed of Eurocentric lies for too long, n and suggests that" Afrocentricity" is the answer. He then rClttles off a list of unsubstantiated and bogus Afrocentric claims which he was spoon-fed by the Demoted One himself. To cap it all off, he then refers to a "close-minded, ignorant, and seriously pathetic" Review writer by

the name of "Jeff Miller." One question: who the hell is Jeff Miller? Another question: is the accuracy and completeness of Mack's research reflective of Afrocentric scholarship in general? Hillary Clinton's campaign theme for her husband: "If you vote for him, you get me." Doosl1't that presuppose that we mmt you, 0 Arch-Lurninary of Rabid Feminism? Don't objectify yourself, it's quite unbecoming.

Review Wisdom: Distrust anything labeled "interim policy." It's interim for a reason.

MICIDGAN REVIEW

$100 increments." 4. "I was mugged ... many times!"" 3. "John Dingell needed a loan." 2. "I was building a grotto for the Virgin Mary in my back yard and the contractor kept losing the check."· 1. "1 can't help it. I thought I was dealing with the Federal Budget." • Actual excuses given by members of Congress.

"We are the Establishment"

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan Editor-in-ChieL ..................... Adam DeVore Publisher........................... Karen S. Brinkman

What's the difference between Perry Bullard (D-Ann Arbor) and Douglas Ginsburg, the weed-srnoking candidate for judgeship of years past? Nothing! Our question: now that he's seeking a judgeship, will Bullard be back for this year's Hash Bash? ,.,

Executive Editor............. Andrew Bockelman Executive Editor........................ Tony Ghecea Executive Editor................. Kishore Jayabalan Contributing Editor.......................Corey Hill Contributing Editor................Jay D. McNeill Contributing Editor.............. .David J. Powell Contributing Editor................ Stacey Walker

The homocentric publication Ten Percent recently went back in the closet and In a truly rare tum of events, the Daily changed its name to the Michigan TriAssistant Editor....................... Ryan Boeskool bune. Accuracy ;in- the title must have-- and the Review actually agreed on a poAssistant Editor...............................Joe Coletti become a con,~tn. .. litical topic: both editorialized that the Assistant Editor......................Tracy Robinson U-M is dearly shafting U-M NORML. Music Editor.................................Chris Peters A massive crowa of 18 neo-Nazis To our shock and disgust, however, the Literary Editor......................Adam Garagiola Daily's editorial lapsed into some terrimarched in downtown Ann Arbor on ..-'~ bly un-PC metaphors. "Swain's blunder Saturday, March 21. One neo-Nazi named Mark was quoted in the Detroit could cost the University thousands esC . Copy Editor ...................................Beth Martin MTS Meister/Copy Editor.......Brian Schefke News as saying, "No one's really listenstudent and taxpayer funded dollars, and MTS Meister............................... .Doug Thiese will add yet another black mark to Swain's ing to us." The reason he gave the News for still holding the march was so that already tainted record on student rights," Business Manager.............. Peter Daugavietis people don't get the impression that white the Daily wrote. Such institutional, symBusiness Man.lger......................... Chet Zarko supremacy is dead. Physically dead? bolic, linguistic, etc., racism must not be Advertising Manager................Jennifer Wei! tolerated. . Maybe not. Brain dead? Definitely. Staff

Top Ten Reasons Why Members of Congress bounce checks: 10. "I gave so much to charities that I lost track."· 9. "I had a heart attack and my wife left me."" 8. "I gave the money away to help built TV stations for the Lord." 7. ''Despite what you may have heard, I just want to reassure you that I do not solicit prostitutes or purchase illegal drugs on a regular basis." 6. "George Bush wasn't doing anything for the economy, so I thought I would." 5. "I wanted to help Jerry Brown, and he would only let me write the checks in

Eddie Arner, Chris Bair, Dave Berriman, Mike Beidler, David Boettger, Mister Boffo, Michele Brogley, Chris Brokaw, P.J. Danhoff, James E. Elek, Athena Foley, John Gnodtke, Jonathan R. Goodman, Frank Grabowski, Jonathan Haas, Mike Hewitt, Lauren Hillburn, Nicholas Hoffman, Chuck Hugener, Nate Jamison, Ken Johnston, Michael Kosonog, Avram Mack, Mary the Cat, Kirsten McCarrel, Peter Miskech, Bud Muncher, Crusty Muncher, Shannon Pfent, Hashim Rahman, Mitch Rohde, Charles Rousseaux, Sid Sharma, Ed Sloan, Dan Spillane, Jay Sprout, Eric StrOm, Perry Thompson, Jim Waldecker, Jemmie Wang, Matt Wilk, Tony Woodlief.

Immediately next to the aforementioned editorial was an editorial cartoon which depicted South Africa as a feeble, hobbling monkey. And they have the nerve to get all worked-up and hyper-moralistic about an Iroquois mask we printed? Please. In a letter to the Daily on March 26, our friend Bert Hornback proclaimed his disgust for the paper's decision to include non-recyclable inserts in past issues, and angrily wrote, "Maybe you guys should have a principle or two?" But, Bert, are there not wyrnn on the Daily staff?

Executive Editor Emeritus ................Jeff Muir April Fool... ..............................Brian Jendryka Fool-at-Large..............................John J. Miller Fool Emeritus.............................Marc Selinger The Michigan Review is an independent, non-profit, student-run journal at the University of Michigan.

According to Daily pundit Matt Rennie: "Many scholars say . that erring on the by oe M arlin liberal side is better r~J~~~_=;i;~~---r r'~~====::::~::;---i?~T:R~~u~~01~~J~~.~o~~_~n;~~~~\\--:-------~~ thanerringonthe conservative." Is this just na'ive advocacy of "throw caution to the wind" social policy, or is it helpful advice for students writing' for news-

Mister Boffo

We are not affiliated with any political party. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Signed articles represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Rtview. We welcome letters and articles and encourage comments about the journal and issues discussed

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#Qr whai ar~ you too sexy? by Beth Martin, Mitch Rohde and Jennifer Weil . ..,........"....

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Amy Golke, junior in the School of Natural Resources: I'm too sexy for my Cherry Chocolate Chunk.

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Greg Warp, senior in aerospace engineering: I'm too sexy for this school, ~~ause I'm getting out of here in May.

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Rich Constable, sophomore in political science: I'm too sexy for my girlfriend.

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Karen Brown, special education teacher: I'm too sexy for this interview arid for wearing braces at my age (41, for those who are curious).

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With your tax-deductible donation of $20 or more, you too can receive a one-year subcription to the Review to read at your leisure. The Review will I keep you posted on the U-M bureacracy, campus activists, academic I issues, and much, much more!

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Jill Shiffman,)uruorl~ philosophy: I m not too sexy for anythmg.

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April 1, 1992

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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From Suite One: Editorials

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People Unclear on the Concept Multiculturalism, affirmative action, diversity cultural sensitivity - in short, proponents claim, in general, that rich white males with property and power used to many of the most divisive and contentjous topics of debate on college campuses today and, through inheritmces, .continue to benefit from an entrenched system of historical - are also some of the most difficult to discuss critically. The impediments arise not oppression of various groups,. The structure of society, the progressives claim, has so much from the complexities of these issues, although they are vastt but rather from afforded them disproportionately fewer opportunities to succeed and excel; thus, they the very language in which the debates are often framed. The problem does not arise, are due compensatory treatment, even if the payment must be extracted from the as many postmodern administrative and so-called "progressive" academic pundits unwitting beneficiaries of past unfairness. suggest, from adeficiency of social, and political language with respect to vocabulcny; With regard .to, language, however, it is intriguing that numerous proponents of if a social phenomenon of notable import has hitherto gone, unnamed, then by all such an argument also bother to.call organizations practicing affirmative action"equal means it should be given one, Nor does the dilemma stem from prevalent, supposedly opportunity employers." Eyen if,one does not que&t;ion whether the opportunity given oppressive (e.g. gender exclusive or racially prejudicial) metaphors within the lantoeach candidate isind~dequal, although that question is an important one, it guage - that is, unles<i one insists upon interpreting metaphQrs quite literally or from remains baffling why the.labcl equal opportunity". is ev~ necessary if the argument a conveniently redefined vantage PQint The real challenge arises when, in an effort to from justke is correct. If. the aq;ument from historical. justice is sound, then the overcome these apparent obstacles, people begin to employ «JUaUy 10!lded and often problem of present~ay' j~sti<;e becomes irrelev~t.U historical considerations define justice or fairness, thenpresent-d~y unfairness~tters not a wit, save insofar as it is self-defeating language. The terminology of the diversity debate provides a telling, albeit somewhat banal, part of an ongoing, .~m\llativr history of social ~~lations. The reliance of many example. If one looks past the smoke screen of "diversity" - for by now the affinoative action <)pologistson the thetoric of equal opportunity suggests, if anyadministration has made it clear that a diverse c()mmunity is one in which everyone- thing, that even thE1Yare so~ow uncoriVincedi>y the. armunent from transgenerational thinks, acts, and speaks with stunting uniformity, i.e.astheOffice.o£ Affinnative. justice. So, is "equaLoppotiunity" a semantic. !?moke screen, or a palliative for Action and Summer Orientation(read:Proselytization) leaders dictate -amQte adhunistrators' wearyner;ves and burdtmed conscien~es? serious problem may be seen. Judging by the effusive praise the .a<lministration .. " . .' showers on "multiculturalism/' one might think that it is, inesse~ce, compatiblewith,·e ·,..In arecent.speedlgiyen i,nEvanston,lllinois, conservative author Charles Sykes the ideals and goals of the civil rights movement. to wit, ~ationism. Yet·if one .'. (The Hollow Men"Profocan,).J'~~ that/'Our'qpposition,' for lack of a better word, believes that a culture is something overarching and untwy which,.hy its nature, . hc:tsA~finedthe~~.nf ilie. {tel)ate';which is now. tr~$piring over various,political allows a society to cohere and endure, then "multictdturalismt"if the word. meanS . questi<)l)s. '~Unjv:~iijes~"he~dded"llavedone. fU\ esp~atly remarkable job of what it appears to, directly conflicts with and ind~ mak~ imposSible a harmonioUs; defining the terms of the debat~ like 'multiculturalism' .and 'sensitivity.'" The probcohesive society. lern, however, does not depend upon wh~ 9oe&the defining, but upon how the terms A &miIar teQsion is evid~t H;l the tn-etoric of affirmative action. Although there are are ultimately defined. And thetragedy1s.notthat liberals and progressives seem to various approaches to defending affirmative action (which is not to say that they are have the upper .handat. the moment, but ratlwr tilat they have defined the terms necessarily successful), a frequently heard arg\lment is premised on justice. Its sloppily and vindictively, or,at the very least, carelessly. I

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Some Advice forFaULS.&A Courses -

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Class registration~the mere mention ofitevokes~veral:predictable nwntal -: few l'rof~rs~ouldmakesuch a dry andgrueJingsubject matter asa dead images, beginning with the obscenely long and lethargictm.es outside CRISP in the language'as interesting and rewarding. basement of Angell Hall, and ending with that of a tired, frustrated, helpless student In the. histoJ;y .department Professor Tonsor's Intellectual History Series is a pleading futilely With . an equally tired, frustrated, and helpless~istration assistant veritable prereqtJ.isite for any student .desiring a complex analysis of European who has done just about everything except provided assistance. It also carries a note though~throughoutthe nineteenth and twentieth c~turies. The readings incorporate of irony: just at the point in the term wlwn students areprepanngfor finals and a br~d samplingef many oftl}epQlitical and philosophical da$Sics of the We&tem swearing by every &Unt they can name that nevet,never again shall they sign up for world. Ptofessor Thornton's Hi$tory 9£ Ameriom ~on~tutional Law is an engaging a courseload like what they now have, they are asked to do just that. And they do. Yet and energe* (:OUJ'Se, as ThomtQn's,suspicion of government separates him from those some of the loon-Ung frustration can be mitigated if one knows beforehand that certain. wpo w()uldl1av~ s.ovemmentmake all our decisions for us, He also teaches a superb courses will satisfy virtually without fail. Whi.ch is not tO$ay that you won' HajJ, but Great Books of the l'ounding Fathers.(:ourse which, unfortunately, is.not being offered simply that you'll enjoy yourself either way. next falllerm. Anyone interested in d~cal h'beralism or howthe Founders conceived Within the political science department, several introductory courses stanq out oIthe world should plan ahead and wait for this gem to return. and demand recognition. Political Science 101, Introduction to Political Theory; with Those interested in political philosophy should wait for Carl Cohen's CommuProfessor Gobetti, focuses completely on readings dealingwith . fundamental Western nism, Fascism and DeIllocracy,which is not being offered next term but is generally political thought The course is an excellent primer for students. considering a .political available through both the Re$idential Coll~e and the Department of Philosophy. science major. Also o1,ltstanding in the division are Political Science l11i Intr04uction Students curious about ancient Greek philosophy should .consider Professor Code's to American Politics, and Political Science 450, Political ModerniZation Ut.theDevel- courses: the lectures are long, but rich in content. Professor Loeb's Philosophy of oping World, with Professors Rosenstone and Organski, respectively. All three of Religion .is also a fine choice, although it does tend to focus on one main conception of these articulate and informative professors are refreshingly unbiased. and engaging in God (as omnipotent, omniscien~ .etc.) rather than considering a variety ofconceptions. their style of teaching. Aficionados· of Spanish literature should look into Professor Halter's courses on Students with interests of a more literary nature should consider Great Books with neoclassicism and romanticism: the reading load, like the grading, is quite fair, and his Professor Cameron. Despite its recent dilution with a few explicitly Marxist, newly lectures are oftenirisightful. Francophiles, however, should seriously consider Profesdiscovered pseudo-classics, it retains enough of its original integrity to make it sor Gray's upper-level literature courses, He is lively, friendly. and speaks only worthwhile. Uterature in English to 1660 offers an in-depth and informative look at French to his students. contributions to literature during the Middle Ages and the Renaissance. This year's While tbere.are many excenent professors and fascinating courses at the U-M, the Golden Apple Award winner, Professor Ralph Williams, and Professor Weisbuch, aforementioned courses and instructors are surely some of the very best: they are who teaches The American Novel, are also highly talented scholars with a knack for classics in. their owu.time, .1;heattentivenessof these professors to both acadel1\ic communication. bther courses to watch for include anything with Professor Gindin . questions.and stuq.ent concerns has .consistently drawn praise from students. If the and Professor McNamara's Irish literature and Culture. purpOse of a lib.eraI arts education is to study the best that has been thought and said, Students considering a Latin course should seek out David Ross' section of then. students should find satisf~ction in many of .these courses, for they are taught by Intensive Elementary Latin ~93{, tm,J~.theY:f~ w~ling,tQ ~e~~e_ ~.~?\l~~~~p:.g,. ~,,\fP5lt'lfe;Phq,~ BtP~bl~j qf 1~~!~g app.~~gpfl;W&~l}~,.jsl~·'Ml1i.~ 9r~.~Et in ~hich case Deborah ~~nne]..:Ross' intensive, IAtin 504 r~m~~ fIlleXc.eiteJ1,t,op.tiPll ~t~~I'tt?rund~~gir~~~ur~\lre. ',! :'.' , .. c, \ \ , \ ., '.' . . . '.<' , :~ , f', . ; ' .. , ,

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

April 1. 1991

5

But Wait. There's Muir

Is Jeff-as Mean as He-Seems? by Jeff Muir

The blO which concluded the first installment of "But wait, there's Muir" ~tated that "This column will appear in each edition of the Rtpitw, and there's nothing you can do to stop itl" Despite the efforts of Amy Polk, the LesbiarKAy Male Programs Office (LGMPO), the Sexual Assault Prevention and Awareness Center (SAPAC), and Enc Jackson, that statement turned out to be true - at least untill began alternating columns with Ryan. But alas, there is one thing that can perrn.mently stop this column: graduation. So this is it. My final column. You should know that it was tough trying to decide what to write about. Should it be a dieM-filled farewell that seeks to inform students about my opinion on every subject ranging from the legality of Jim Duderstadt's hiring to reform in China? Should it be a philosophical preaching ses..o;ion in which I say uBe excellent to each other!,. in several dozen different ways? Should it be an April Fool's Day spoof in which I pretend to have converted to Jesse Jackson liberalism? Should it be an expa&: on Eric Jackson, in which I claim that hesodonuzes small, furless animals and plays Crisc()Twister with UA W rejects? Or should I abuse what is left of my journalistic integnty by urging you all to eled me to Ann Arbor City Council on April 61 As you may l}ave already guessed, the answer is none of the above. I have decided, instead, to take this final opportunity to summarize some of the arguments which have hffn central to all of

my previous urnns.

COl- I

founded more than 10 years ago in an effort to combat this trend and to ensure that moderate to conservative students, faculty, and staff had a sort of base camp from which to operate. As free-thinking individuals organized themselves and began to threaten the integrity and power of the entrenched Thought Police, the PCers became increasingly nasty and authoritarian. The concept of the "loyal opposition" went out the Window, and the practice of acrosing one's political opponent of quite nasty things (white supremacy, fascism, homophobia, bigotry, sexism, antiSemitism, etc.) became the nann. This was the storm that 1 stepped into upon corning to the Review. While I have written several serious news artides, I have mainly concentrated on writing (supp~) humorous articles that tackled the most sacred of PC cows: date rape, mu-hating, multiculturalism, communism, radical ho~ sexual rights advocates, eco-freaks, sexual ~t, diversity, affirmative action, and the ever-important debate over allegedly offensive American Indian team mascots. ] have attempted to make serious, logical arguments about policies or proposed policies, while humorousIy poking fun at some of the more, er, interesting advocates of the opposing viewpoint. The response has certainly been interesting. Readers seem either to thoroughly enjoy and agree with my articles, or they outrightly hate me and think I should be locked up. For those of you who stiU believe that PC is a myth, or

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of con¡ theory The debate over cooked up by the Political Correctness right, take a look at ~ no doubt been an some of the reimportant influence sponses to my colon the content of the urnn. &virlD since I ca.me The Aids CoaIiaboard in August tion to Unleash 1990. The issues inPower (ACT-UP) valved in PC have, of burned an issue of course, been around the Rtvitw which for a lot longer than featured a front two years. Although . . page story of mine the t(lrm " PC" was Mwr1 ha~g conq~ered the cunpus that pOinted out not in vog ue more radicals, odes off mto the sunset some of the intemaJ than a couple of years ago, the phenominconsistencies in ACT-UP's platform. (Interestingly, this was the first issue of non existed. Many people involved in academia have long been aware that a the Rtvirw in which an article of mine radical left had entrenched itself in posiappeared). ] also wrote an article about affirmative action after Assistant Secretions of power in our colleges and universities, and was using its collective tary of Education Michael Williams anauthority to influence students and connounced that rac~ased scholarships' trol political debate. The Rtvitw was violated Title YO of the 1964 Civil Rights

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Act. For this piece, I interviewed Zaida Catholic. Another claims that I am guilty of carpet-hagging because I moved into Giraldo, head of the U-M's Affirmative .my district just to run for office from Action Office. During that interview, Giraldo said things like" AU whites bear there, even though] grew up in the ward in which I'm running. One Eric Jackson, the burden for racism and past discrimination. regardJess of their personal backotherwise known ~ Todd Ochoa's attarney, leveled the most viciously outraground, and regardless of whether or not they personally had discriminated, and geous and invidious attack. Writing for "Don't you feel like a greedy pig? The a local left-wing rag, Agtnda, he accused whole world is set up for white males, me of racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, and you have everything, yet you want to being a junior David Duke. Not even Jackson's political take these aumbs._" paranoia, however, Several imp orcan justify such a tant people within the U-M administration gross exercise in miswere shocked that the quotation. director of me of their The point to all raost politically senof this is to demonsitive offices. would .".eued to meet you/' he said. strate what really sa~ s~ch thm~s. A .Stop harassing me!" she replied. happens to people who attempt to enqwet, mternalmvestigation was initiated. Giraldo denied gage in a rational, logical, and sometimes ever saying such things, and, rememberhumorous debate about sensitive topics. ing that ] did not tape our conversation, When one questions stretching the definition of rape to include "psychological claimed that 1made up the whole interview. rape" (which is supposedly perpetrated by "staring"), as SAPAC did, one is Remembering the bad experience that] had with the Diversity Seminar, branded a violent sexist. When one takes which is part of the mandatory new stuumbrage at the outrageous tactics and philosophical contradictions of groups dent orientation program, ] wrote a column exposing the radical political bias such as ACT-UP, one is labeled a and aggressive, near-indoctrinationhomophobe. When one tries to debate the merits and morality of continuing style techniques of the program's facililatOr'S. ln response, Director of Orientaaffirmative action, one is accused of betion Pam Home spent hoards of student ing a white supremacist. ln addition to having these names tossed around, one tuition money to print and distribute a letter to all Diversity Seminar particiis accused of lying and poor journalism, and the power and resources of the adpants who came along after the column ministration is leveled against one. appeared seeking through distortion and personal attacks to discredit the Rmtw While I will miss many things about piece. the University of Michigan, I will miss none of this. Fortunately, ] worked and Perhaps the most ironic attack occurred at last Fall's "PC Conference." lived in the "real" world for several years During a forum on "'Hate Speech," which both before and during my life as a student, and ] know that its inhabitants genover 800 people attended, a member of the U-M's Lesbian and Gay Males Proerally do not behave in such a violent, irresponsible, and knee-jerk fashion. In gramming Office stood up and accused me of being a bigoted and homophobic the real world, people are able to respect spewer of "Hate Speech." What was my differing political views without quescrime? Sending a letter to his office which tioning the morality and character of their asked whether the U-M was funding opponents. Acr-UP's silly little protest of Drake's While you wipe the tears from your restaurant. eyes, let me assure you, gentle reader, that I leave U-M a much better person as Without question, the most disturbing reprisal has been the most recent. a result of my experience and education at the ReuitW. In many ways, I've learned Since] announced my candidacy for a more here than I have in the classrooms. seat on Ann Arbor's City Council, my political opponents have been saying that And do not fret, you haven' t heard the they are "digging up dirt" on me for my last of me. ------------opponent, Thais Peterson. One of the more pernicious rumors which has re- Jeff Muir is a senior in genera1stucties and the executive editor emeritus for sulted asserts that I am a member of the the Rniew. radical, right-wing Catholic religious cult the Word 01 God, although I'm not even H


THE MICHIGAN REVIEW '

6

April

1, 1992

,.'

Interview

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Bennett on Schools,Drugs& Rock 'n' Roll On March 30, John J. Miller of the Review interviewed William J. Bennett. Bennett has served as Chairman of the National Endowment of the Humanities, Secretary of Education, and Director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy. He received his Ph.D. in political philosophy from the University of Texas and a law degree from Harvard. He is currently a John M. Olin Fellow in Cultural Policy Studies at the Heritage Foun<ution and a senior editor of the Nlltionlll Review.

REVIEW: Hash Bash, an annual promarijuana legalization rally at the University of Michigan, will be held on Saturday, April 4. If you were a speaker at this event, what message would you relate to the attendants? BENNEIT: I would ask them to visit hospitals and take a look at the babies who have been affected by drug use, to look at the lives which have been ruined

before they have even started. This is a result of illegal drug use, including the use of marijuana. REVIEW: Is it morally wrong to take illegal drugs? BENNEIT: Yes. It makes you "phaseout." The founders of this republic thought that we should be an alert citizenry spending our time thinking about our lives, our jobs, and our families, not in a kind of inert haze. REVIEW: How does alcohol fit into this scheme? BENNEIT: Alcohol can do the same thing. We have enough problems from alcohol abuse and the abuse of other things that are l~-that we should certainly consider seriously any suggestions· that would help reIl)Qdy those problems. Don't we have enough ways to get ourselves in trouble? The legalizers' dream was the Platz Schwitz in Zurich, Switzer-

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land. They just closed it down. It was the park where everybody could use all the drugs they wanted. The great experiment has been shut down. It became a barbarous place with people dying left and right, there was all sorts of "';", crime, and it was not a very pretty picture of humanity.

parents, which is good, and it will create accountability. When people are shopping, they will want to know how well each school performs, which means they will see test scores. And this is exactly what we need in American education: accountability .

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REVIEW: What kind of shape do you think to day's schools are in? ir

BENNEIT: We're coming back a little bit. Scores seem to be rising a little bit, particularly in math and science, but we're • still way below where we should be. We're still pretty close to the bottom in the industrialized world in international comparisons, and that can't make anybody feel good. We need educational choice, so parents can choose the schools their children attend, be they public, private, sectarian, or whatever. We need national and international standards to know how we are doing. We're spending three times as much in real dollars as we spent in 1%0, and we're doing worse. There's too much unionism, too much tenure, too much "blob."

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REVIEW: Would public schools even be necessary in this program?

BENNETr: They would still exist, but they would be different. They would have a different st,atus. It would , .' look much more like a university than the current public school system. The public schools that exist right now and do a good job would remain because people would continue to want to enroll their kids in them. The others would either get better or go out of business, which is exactly what should happen. REVIEW: Many of your suggested reforms emphasize decentralization, which leads to a question that many conservatives have been asking for more than 12 years: is the Department of Education necessary?

REVIEW: Who eats up all the money?

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BENNETI: Increasingly the ''blob'' does. The "blob" is the bureaucracy, not the principals or the teachers. It now eats up about 60 cents of each dollar spent on education. ' REVIEW: How would a school choice program woik?

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BENNETT: If you live in the state of Michigan and you have two school age children, and if education coSts $4000 per year per child, then you would take them to a local school, whether it's a Catholic school, a Jewish school, or a now-public school, and youw,ould , haRd i.n the voucher. It ~O\Jld ~ a, ~rtifig.~ 9f~arsbip thaf eadl 'sttid¢nt ~ld~:carty arOund in his pocke~ ~th~J,"i~an~eing

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BENNETT: It's certainly not necessary, but I don' t think a good deal of time would be well spent trying to eliminate it. Reagan campaigned on getting rid of it, he won on a landslide, and when they introduced a bill to get rid of it, it received only eight votes. You don't need it, but your time might be better spent arguing for school choice in the state of Michigan. That is much more likely to happen than the abolition of the Department. REVIEW: What would likely happen

.regarding edu~tion if a Democrat were elected in November? : '"

BENNE'IT: You would see a dramatic ' i.ncreasejn: f~deral ,f unding, for, the De- '

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THE MICHIGANREVIEW

Aprill, 1992

7

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tom line: no improvement, the National Education Association would get more power, there would be more power in Washington, and the deficit would increase. And there would be fewer people able to calculate the deficit. REVIEW: Would you agree with the popular assessment that conservatism seems currently to be in something of a crisis?

BENNETI': I've tried to say what I think are his very good points, but it's always the criticism that comes across. Pat' s ex~ tremely articu1"te and very sound on 75 percent of the issues, but I think he is wrong on some things like ~ trade and America's role in the world. l have some reservations about his immigration policy, too. He has made good sense for a long time on manx issues, and he will certainly be part of.the debate. He's a major player. REVIEW: Do you think the Bush presi· dency has been successful?

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Court appointments. Federal judicial appOintments are the real legacy of a president, and he's done well with that. He holds the world's record for sustained -vetos in a Democratic Congress. He's had 25 vetos. Consider those 25 bills as if they had been passed, and you get a sense of what a Democratic regime would look like. And he's been consistent on his . pro-life position, which encourages many people to think he's been sincere on a gut belief with many conservatives.

BENNETT: Engler's name comes up, as does Massachusetts Governor Bill Weld's. I'm very impressed with Engler. I've always been impressed with good governors. I'm tend to be disposed to governors more than senators because governors have real j.Obs.

REVIEW: Your name is bounced around quite a bi~ as a possible Rep~blican presidential candidate in 1996. Are you considering such a move?

REVIEW: What .do you listen to?

BENNETT: Not a crisis. 1 think the debate is there. You don't have the kind of unifying figure you had with Ronald Reagan, who was almost everybody's hero in the conservative movement. A lot of conservatives have been worried and suspicious about George Bush for a long time, and so now we have to have a debate. I thought the debate was going to wait until after this election, but it's begun already, That's okay, provided we keep it on the right course. Debates can rejuvenate and regenerate, and 1hope that's what this debate does. But wi~h the absence of a supreme figure like Reagan, the debate is inevitable. REVIEW: You've been a harsh critic of Pat Buchanan.

.

BENNETT: "Bouncing around" is about right. That's aU it should be doing. I've noticed my n~e on ~vera1lists. I haven't made up my mind abput that. 1 certainly waritto be as central asJcan be to the debate that We mentioned earlier,be~ cause 1 care about conservatism and its future. I want to see uS 'as agoverrung majority in this SQI!itltry; Whether that translates intQrtfy personal politicai in- .... volvement, I don't k~w. .

REVIEW: What book would you recommend that every undergraduate read?

BENNETT: Please, please, please read the Federalist Papm. lt' s really all in there. It's a "dassic," meaning it's invoked but not .read. It's really worth reading, at least in .part, especially num~rs p, 10, 37, 63, 68, 69, 70, and 84. For me, the book that turned me around as an undergraduate was Plato's Republic. Someone once said that .all.philosophy is a.footnote to Plato,and 80 percent of them~tinterest­ ing arguments in phHosophy:are taken up in that book, .sometim~ well, sometimes not so well,hut usually addressed with probity and sophistication. It's the intellectual tour.

REVIEW: I understand you're a fan of rock 'n'roll music. BENNETI: Indeed.

BENNETT: Stuff from the 1950s, J960s, and .1970s mostly ..Some contemporary music, if I can be very selective. I do like R.E.M.

Those Nasty Drugs

REVIEW: What other national figures do you think are likely to emerge as . possible inheritoni of the Reagan legacy? BENNETI: All of the. usual suspects, such as Jack Kemp, rete DuPont; Dick ' Cheney, Dan Quayle.

REVIEW: How about California Gove,. nor Pete Wilson? BENNETT:.He's a very formidable guy. I think the locution would be wrong to say that he would inherit the mantle of Ronald Reagan. Even though Wilson is governor of California, his would be a new mantle. It would be a very distinct tum for Republicans. But if he is success. ful in California, he may wen decide to run in 1996.

BENNETI': It's been mixed, especially compared to conservative hopes. Compared to what a Ginton presidency would be like, Bush looks like George Washing~ ton. His strong pOints are.obviously the REVIEW: What do you know abo\Jt Persian Gulf War effort and Supreme ' Michigan Governor John Engler?

Answers appear On page 16

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THEMICHIGA!!~REVIEW

8

Interview: High Times Editor

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April 1, 1991

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Medical Uses of Hemp_ Top Advocates' Agenda f

On March 2~ Adam DeVore of the Review interviewed Steven Hagar, who has been the Editor-in-Chief of High Times since 1988. Hagar, who holds a masters degree in journalism from the University of nlinois, has written two books, Art After Midnight: The East Villilge SeeM, and Hip Hop: The History of Rllp Mllsie, Brellkdllndng, lind Graffiti. Hagar is also the founder of the Freedom Fighters, a nationalpro-marijuana legalization organization with over 2,000 members. He win visit the U-M today to participate in a panel discussion on hemp legalization.

REVIEW: What are the main foci of the marijuana and hemp legalization movements in the UnitedStates? HAGAR: The reaJ story about ~em<we­ ment is that many grassroots c.irganiZations have sprung up, principallY aro\lnd hemp and its many uses: Hemp is an issue thatthe NationiUOrganization for the Reform of Mnrijuillllll.aws (NORML)

has never really put on the top of its agenda. I think the best thing that NORML is doing is pushing for the legalization o.f marijuana for the medicinal use of sick people who. need it. NORML, along with the Organization for Cannabis Therapeutics, is atthe forefront of this legal battle. This issue is also at the top of my list. After that, I'd start to look into the cases o.f people who have been incarcerated unfairly and unjustly. They've had their homes taken away and their lives destroyed. When you see somebody's life totally defltroyed because they had a few ounces ofrnarijuana a1'llUnd ~and there a«! thousands of ~ caSes~veJ)"year - irsahorrifyi~ thing.

care about anybody else,".they say, "just the sick. people. Give it to them." And yet the government refuses to admit that the plant has any medicinal value whatsoever. The chasm that has developed between legalization advocates and the

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its jails, prisons, guards, helicopters, gunboats, and everything else it's spending money for, it will be impossible for dissent take to place in this country again. The amount of time, money, and effort spent on squelching those who support an end to marijuana prohibition should serve asa warning to other people in the country who are ", fighting to uphold civilliberties; for example, those who fighting to. stop gun contro!. W~re at a pOint in this country's history when the . radical right and the radical left have begun to come to sirililarcOnclusions about the nahlreo£ government, and that WiU ~. a very powerful coaJition ·when ·and ifittakes place.

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REVIEW: Severala'uthors have .l'loted tha.t pJior to becoming illeg.al, hemp was a .useful and widely..-cultivated crop. •.

REVIEW: You~ep.tion~ the harmful side-effects of the war on drugs.Coul4y()tt , ·,~laborate? ' '

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

9

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that hemp seed butters are the best way to boost your immune system. And considering all the diseases that are spreading right now, the suppression of this information is a national disgrace.

lot of people at that time were pointing at REVIEW: What is the aiticism you hear absent-minded. Their pursuits might be the invention of the new machinery to most often, and how do you reply? different. But the point is that we live in process hemp, which would have done ' a free society, and we're supposed to for hemp production what the cotton gin HAGAR: The myth that is most commake choices about our own lives. If did for cotton. In a matter of years, the monly flaunted when I'm on radio talk people choose to live their lives smoking shows, for example, comes from folks marijuana, not being concerned about J= --- Wi', ..:-..... .• • ~.: "" ., cotton gin REVIEW: I turned cotton who call in and say that they don't want fitting into American society and getting u nderstan d to drive down the highway knOwing that from the most ahead of their neighbors and making lots that High others are out smoking marijuana and expensive fabof money, then that is their right as an Times got inric into the driving. That's why they want it kept American citizen. volved with illegal, but it's a totally specious and least costly. Hash Bash REVIEW: What do you think of the UThere was a bogus argument. only a few major revoluFirst of all, there are probably 30 M's efforts to keep NORML off the years ago. million people smoking marijuana right tion in fabric Diag? How did that because of that now, and I would say that a large percome about? centage of them are driving around in HAGAR: It's comical. It's unconstitu~. machine. The their cars. Now, if this were a danger to tional. There must be tremendous pressame could have been true the American people, there would be sure put on the University every year for HAGAR: l-igh some record of marijuana-induced acciit to go thorough this silly charade. I Times is a very of hemp. dents, such as roaches in the cars' ash would just like to know where that presrea d er -r eWe were on sure is coming from and who's directing trays. But there's no evidence of this, sponsive pubthe threshold lication: alit. although we have tremendous evidence of another of alcohol-related accidents. 50 if this is most every elrevolution in REVIEW: What will the pro-legalizathe argument for keeping marijuana illeement of the the fabric intion advocates emphasize at the panel rna ga zi n e dustry. A lot of ..gal, then it's also got to be the argument discussion that the U-M is holding? for making alcohol illegal. There's obvifeeds on reader input. I personally open people in the in~~ were looking at , all the mail that comes in from our readpossible uses of-parts of the hemp plant ... ously a lot more danger from drivers using alcohol than those using marijuana. HAGAR: I think that the medicinal-use ers. Somebody wrote us a letter that said that had formerly b~ waste products: speeches will be the most important. The Second, Car and Driver did a survey we should come out to the annual Hash after the fibers are removed from the in the 19708 on the effects of marijuana gox.emment just refuses to consider this Bash, since it was only a $5 fine for poscenter of the plant, 77 percent of what is versus alcohol on drivers. They set up a ..... ·-t~pic seriously. Only 15 people have won session of marijuana and the best party left from the stalk is cellulose, and that cellulose Cail be manufactured into over typical race car track with pylons and the right to use marijuana for medicinal around. It was just around then that I found out about hemp and that George sent the cars through the course. Some of purposes in this country, and 13 are le25,000 products, from dynamite to celloWashington was a hemp farmer. There is the drivers were straight, some had a few ceiving it. There are still millions of people phane to plastic products. At this same hits, some smoked a full joint, some were who need it. The government has said a lot of history that doesn't appear in time, however, the petrochemical industhat it will give out no more permits for given one, two, and three or more drinks, history books-like that the war of 1812 try was just getting off the ground. Beand so on. They discovered that the level marijuana. That is the most serious probwas fought over hemp distribution, or fore World War II, a bill suddenly apof alcohol quickly impaired the drivers' lem we are confronting at the moment. the fact that the constitution was written peared before Congress that was brought ability to score a good lap time and his on hemp paper, or that the soldiers at in by the Treasury Department It was a REVIEW: What books would you sugability not to hit pylons. But drivers who Valley Forge wore clothes made of hemp. tax law regulating marijuana. (Until that gest that students read over the sumsmoked marijuana scored better lap times The stuff has been removed from our time, "marijuana" had never been mer? and hit fewer pylons. So their reflexes history books and th~ Smithsonian Instibrought up before Congress; in the past it tute. When I found all this out, a bunch of had been called "hemp." The fact that actually improved after smoking mariHAGAR: The Emperor Wears No Clothes, juana. I think that there are a lot of people us got together, adorned ourselves with they changed the name of the plant is by Jack Herer, and On the Road, by Jack suspicious in itself.) involved in sports and fitness who will three-cornered hats like those worn by Kerouac. testify to that as well: long- distance runThe fact is that most of the testimony the "Sons of Uberty" (who were responners and swimmers and aU sorts of people sible for the Boston Tea Party), and went before Congress claimed that this new who have to the U-M's Diag to hang out The evenplant was being used by black men to trained while tual result was the creation of the Freeseduce white women. Congress was incredibly racist in the 19305, and when under the effects dom Fighters. of marijuana. somebody wanted to y.ank it around by its nose, it was usually done by way of The bottom line Purveyors of Fine Coffee and Tdlacco REVIEW: What sort of political maneuracist doctrine. And so the racist nature is that it's not a Featuring a complete line of smokers' requisites: vering was behind the criminaliza.tion dangerous subof the arguments before Congress also of marijuana? -Over 100 premium pipe tobaccos stance. gives one doubts about the character and -Cigarettes from around the world - Davidoff, Dunhill, Macanudo, Royal Jamaica, Partigas, Arturo From a stress HAGAR: I cannot definitely say what motives of those manipulating the bill as Fuente, Upmann and Te ArnoCigars standpOint, it well as why it appeared at all. Essenhappened, but I can tell you what I sus- Dugout brand smokeless cigarette systems adds years to tially, the bill killed off the hemp induspect. W~ve found documents &om engi-Zippo, Colibri, S.T. DuPont and Dunhilllighters your life. People try in America - it destroyed the budneering and agricultural journals from - Hand rolling supplies including papers, rolling machines, and who smoke it live ding industry on the eve of its becoming 1937 discussing the invention of new natural tobaccos longer than those a major, billion-dollar crop. The unfortumachinery to process hemp. In these ar-Savinelli, Peterson, DWlhill,Ben }Vade and meerschaum pipes who don't. Now, nate thing is that the products which ticles, you see that this was all happening -Cafe la Semeuse and custom roasted coffee they might not would have been produced by the hemp during the Dustbowl era, when the de11 Nlck.1I ArcacM have the same industry would have been relatively struction of farmland and timber was Ann Arbor. MI 48104 ambitions and nontoxic and non-polluting, but they 313.662.4145 devastating a major portion of the United by the petrowere instead produced States. There was a lot of concern over drives: they may In Nickels Arcade, between South State St. and Maynard. chemical industry, which has become how to prevent dust storms and how to tend to be more . n weekdays 9 ,Saturday. 9-5, Sunday 12-4 .~ . stop'ertiIidri'm\f de9tNdiert v,f toWsts.k· 1i th~·.wOrlalis'Wl)tst ~rt~1of'}fOnutiOO: . j. th6u.ghffut .land j , , . .

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

10

April 1, 1992

Essay ",'1'''''

Affirmative Action Not What It Seems was allowed no such privileged option. by Jemea E. Elek and Brian Schefke ket being scanned for candidates. would not look right for a white male to In the end, it was detennined that the Many students are probably aware Whether the search, and consequently be in a higher position [than a woman complainant did not have sufficient that the University of Michigan imple-the availability data employed by the Uwho was recently hired]." grounds to prove that discrimination ocments affirmative action policies in adM, is local or national depends upon the The administration carefully chooses curred, largely because the person whom missions and employment. What they position being filled. its words when explaining and imple-the complainant chose to speak on his may not be aware of is how these policies The hiring process at the U-M inmenting these policies. While it states behalf gave testimony which discredited are put into practice, especially with re-volves much more bureaucratic work that the hiring unit controls the Personthe complainant's claim of discriminagard to employment. than one would think is necessary. For nel Department's level of involvement, tion. According to Jim Thiry, Assistant example, in addition to their other dupractices such as circling minorities on The personnel section of the StanVice-President for Personnel, the hiring ties, the employment offices must now applications serve to avoid directly orprocess and the Personnel Office's role work with the hiring units to find affirdering a department to search for and dard Practice Guide of the U-M states that under the subject of grievance provaries depending on the TELL SOMEONE ABOUT RhgsM mative action candi-' hire applicants based on race or gender. cedure, once the University Grievance job openings and the hirdates. Also, at one time, The influence of these seemingly mild . • 'I'T'L 't The University of Mtdllgan's Admlnls' Iy men' powerReview Committee has received a com109 umt. 1 ue um may ttalloo and teaching staff engage In the t h e prevIOus word s and method s, however, IS ask [the Personnel Demost ugly and hypocritical form of tioned paperwork was fui. As Doe observed, "When you're callplaint, it is required to "review the record racism there Is. They put up flyers that . ed b th hi ' peop Ie ab ou t'lot ' things such and hear the presentation of the grievtell people to report Inddents of raenot reqwr y e r109 ervtews, partmentI for all the applications for a job or Ism. Theydeftne examplesofradsmas ing unit The same is true as race and gender are always on your ance." Jim Myers of the Affirmative Ac- d verbal remarl<s that refer to a partlcuS· d" The same preoccupatIon ' IS , eVl. tion Office added that, "an investigation may ask ,I.. U~ epartment lar race or ethnldty. Then University withi'n t h e U .. governrrun. is conducted afterwards, and a grievance to screen the applicaprof:~ ~~;r::r:~~~! ment. As Steven Yates, <\ent at other institutions of higher edulions first," he said. The ::arl<s ~at characterize all white a professor of philosocation as well. Barbara Bennet of answer is issued." This grievance answer is the U-M's final word on the incident in hiring manager then =~:= s~~ phy at Auburn Univer-_ Vanderbilt's Affirmative Actioi\ Office, ilia! atnnnatlve actlon whlch is govern- ,~ wrote in the Decemfor example, observed ina phone interproceeds to interview question. If wrongdoing did occur, the the applicants and select =~o::~= ~at!;. ' ber 1990 Freeman, affir:"' view that" Anybody would be silly to grievance answer suggests corrections. wlUte people andOrtentals. Il}ative action "resulted say [that institutions do not consider canwhom he wishes to hire, While the Standard Practice Guide Thiry added that the BeSTAND WJC:,R!Gtm, in the largest restructurdidates' race]. It is probably one of the does not specify exact procedures for the lection is made in a uoPAWRMATrlEACTIONHOWI ing of government factors considered by everyone these ~niversity Grievance Review Commitunon-discriminatory fashion." policy toward business and education in d a y s . " , " " , 'tee, the process carried out in the afore-In the next stage, the hiring manager American history. Federal bureaucracies Doe related an interesting anecdote mentioned scenario was obviously bisends "appoinbnent paperwork" to the ased in favor of the complainant. The mushroomed and their intrusion into the involving a black co-worker. He was hearing focused on the testimony of one personnel office. This paperwork indimarketplace and control over society at described as being a competent worker, large increased." but had trouble accepting criticism from cates the manager's selection and docuwitness, a witness chosen by the comments the department's outreach efforts, Each U-M department had more other workers. One day, he was critiplainant at that, although virtually no the interview process, and the total apautonomous control over whom it hired cized for being rude to a person whom he attention was given to the person directly involved in the incident (the emin the past. Now the process is burdened was interviewing. The criticism soon de-plicant pool. Such paper shuffling is required to satisfy the U-M's obligation to by increased paperwork, and many job vel oped into a heated argument. ployee who argued with the complainfulfill certain "external responsibilities," offers require the agreement by three "We literally had to break it up," ant). such as those dictated by the federal govdifferent parties. Contrary to claims of recalled Doe. The next day, the criticized This is yet another example of the ernment, Thiry explained, administrators like Zaida Giraldo of the worker distributed a letter to his fellow liberal notion - of a Napoleonic thwartQuestions regarding possible startOffice of Affirmative Action, who asserts workers asserting that his critic was out ing of jurisprudence - wherein a person ing salary as well as thQSe raised by the that affirmative action promotes of line and should be fired. When his is guilty until proven innocent. Granted, personnel office about how the search meritocracy, the thr~ffice-consensus supervisor finally received a copy, the Doe's anecdote is but one example, but Wa'i cooducted are then entertaine<1. Once requirement effectively shifts the focus supervisor suggested that he did not have one must wonder how many more cases the hiring unit, the Personnel Departfrom desirable qualifications to desirable the temperament for the job. The black exist in which the grievance procedure ment, and the Affirmative Action Office affirmative action categories. worker then promptly filed a grievance was similarly slanted. concur on all relevant points, an offer is Some university employees can with the Affirmative Action Office. By implementing affirmative action extended to the candidate. dearly portray how these policies affect The Affirmative Action Office then policies, the U-M has extended its alIn addition, the' Affirmative Action them. According to one proceeded to hold a ready vast bureaucracy and promoted hearing on the incident. Office independently conducts a quaremployee, who wished racial tension in the workforce despite its " tion analy" " the t ' anonymous AFFIRMATlVEACDON Aeeord"mg to Doe, some terly u tiliza SIS and revtews 0 remam IS NOT RACISM pretense of soothing it This feeling is not wo~kf~rce at the U-~. ~uch a revi~w for fear of retribution So step ccduIins die issue. if1be wbito 1liiie of the eyewitnesses of shared by Thiry, who says, "The extra mamtains data on uruts with affirmative (and henceforth be re-power_wasllcuoifBli~COIIized.tbcre the event were coneffort is justified to meet appropriate s0action goals. This dataindudes the availferred to as Doe), "We =t;:~~~~~am::: tac\ed prior to the hearcial goals." But just how broadly are we used to use referrals IItbistccypoinblollclf-procll!imed,fCl'CCfWly ing. The University ability of minorities and women comto construe this "extra effort"? While the ·g,10 our de- irWoed dcmimnce by wbito men AffirmIIive G' . t e are<! th peop1e w h0 were hired as p o w hen hirin aI.1ioof(RCStis~tlu.lI»powctnevance ReVlew theory of these policies states one thing, wen as the opportunities that were availpartment. Recently the scmctmns they woddn't do ~Je, Before Committee interest- . the practice seems to be quite different. " 'ty d eo'de d't0... youlllrt~tbevictims, 1Iinkabooltbis: it "1y enoug'h, d'd Umvers1 abie w here affi rmative a ction goal s extbisnalianrcadyto~mAfri~ mg 1 not isted, said Thiry. A complete copy of the monitor how we do our Aoian-Ameriam, ~ ell:. a5pwidertcrlDd deem it necessary to James E. Elek is a junior in physics and . 1S 'finally p~ -~-...I h"' Th ey·'would d99'ltIllljCl'capcnllons?UJIilwo_lIatday, reVIew on to fed . eral mng...· IlIimit'sobYiOUltllttdieimli~alIIiZlJdnasm have the employee who a staff writer for the Review. Brian send us applications and it wbite CIl~te.; ytJIDIIl a fav~ Ilq> argued with the comcompliance agencies. Schefke is a sophomore in chemistry 'cl . ," Ip'CIIIiDa ~ get y- pedeIbII JCIIl . The U-M' s affirmative action g oals o r e certai n mmonties. die riglltlide, racist PIamant speak at t h e and an MIS editor of the Review. The are mathematical constructs which uti- They wouldn't tell you A ...............wMIIe4,-..... hearing. Although the graphics herein contained are replicalizedatafromtheU.S.Census. They are why, but you knew ............. nodItllen(......... IIIIp) complainCUlt was pertions of posters recently discovered on designed to reflect the availability of miwhy." Doe was also told mitted to choose some-North Campus. , aoritie; mel WOIMl in.the particular mar--.. " , ,that· he was. R0t"promOted; ·~eEaUSe 'it, ,·ooeto'SJ'eak on bi&~rhis Sllpervjsot' r f F

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

11

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U-M Professor Suggests Election Reform Charlea Rouaaeaux spot, he did agree that the "generally Few on campus, including Univeradvocated" standard was unconstitu, of Michigan Communication Profestional. This ruling, if it withstands appe~l, could force Michigan and the Jonathan Friendly, would even coner voting for Lyndon laRouche or twenty-nine other states that have puch laws to change them. ;ene McCarthy. Yet Friendly, Direcof the U-M Master's Program in JourOne must wonder, however, whether ism, nevertheless has helped win an abandoning the current measure is a good idea. This issue raises several other )ortant legal battle which should prothe rights of unpopular candidates. questions about the role of the media in Thirty states, including Michigan, political campaigns: what should the erie adopted what is known as the " gen_ teria be for people to be placed on the Iy advocated by the media" standard ballot? How can the system be improved? :ietennining who appears on the presiAny reform would have to satisfy both ,tial primary ballot. This measure has the need of the public to make a reasonably well-informed choice in the prin in place since 1968 when Eugene mary elections as well as the need for :arthy was shut out of the balloting at Democratic Convention. Many delparties to have candidates on their tickets who represent the party's ideas. tes felt he should have been given a :e on the ballot. Instead, the highest According to Friendly, media attention should not be the yardstick because king party members decided who Id be considered for nomination. To it has an interest in li,9lififlg the number Ire that this did not happen again, of candidates who 'run. The press has 'Y states adopted the standard, which neither the resources n9f the space to give equal time to all candidates, espeply means that if a person has re:ly received frequent attention from cially when ten to twenty or even more , the press, he has been "generally may be running for an office. As Friendly x:ated by the media" and deserves a commented, ''The press,is not eager to on the primary ballot. cover outsiders." It would seem that the The issue, according to Friendly, is media should have the role of educating ther parties should make the nomithe public, something that many papers 19 process more open by allowing are pursuing by printing the candidates' lews media to determine who gets a views on various issues. Newspapers lce at the presidential nomination. may even endorse certain candidates, ldly argues that there needs to be a but Friendly argues that the coverage hmark for determining who will be should not determine who runs. !d on the primary bal)ot, but that the While Friendly acknowleded that he is not a political science scholar, he leral advocacy" standard is simply mentioned a few possible alternatives to 'ague to be used fairly and allows the ia to pick candidates in light of its the current system. He observed, withest in limiting the number of candiout advocating the adoption of such a ) it covers. system, that in Britain, candidates for :riendly conduded research in office have to wager a fairly large amount Ligan for the American Civil Liberof money on the condition that they will Jnion (ACLU) when it petitioned either receive a certain percent of the :ngham County Court to permit vote or else forfeit the money. In addi>uche to appear on the ballot. tion, he suggests that the party chairman could determine who runs under the dly showed that LaRouche had been erally advocated" by the media and party's ballot. This approach would neiId therefore be put on the primary ther eliminate outsiders nor exclude other t even though he had been denied a legitimate contenders; it would merely show whom the party has chosen to repby Democratic Secretary of State ltd Austin. After this success, the resent it. Such an approach would also U pursued the matter in Connecti路 enable parties to choose their official repIf Eugene McCarthy by arguing that resentatives (thus allowirig the Republigenerally advocated" gauge was cans to denounce David Duke and bar ague and should be abandoned, or, him from representing the Republican Party without preventing him from runstandard. were not too vague, then d been applied unfairly to keep rung at all). lrthy off the ballot. Although the Britain's approach, however, is not .did not agree that Mc拢arthy should without its problems. On the one hand, if It on the ballot merely due to the candidates were forced to put up a large as attention, particularly because sum of money in order to be on the ballot, means existed for,him to obtain a , " ' it may eliminate t'grass roots'~, candidates

who, although they may not have the money initially, may gradually gain momentum from local politics and eventually pull off a big surprise. It could also be argued ,that such a system leaves party insiders in control and may inspire another situation like the one that caused the laws to be changed in the first place. Finally, there exists the possibility of a tension between streamlining primary guidelines and encouraging candidates to run. Abandoning the "generally advocated" measure, however, can answer such charges. In the first place, local politics are different from a presidential primary. While "grass roots" campaigns may originate and do well in local or even sl\te politics, national campaigns are a different matter. In order to be a contender for the presidential seat, a candi~ate must have money, and plenty of it, for publicity and travel are quite costly. Having party chairmen appoint candidates, moreover, does not eliminate the competition; it merely results in the

p~'s candidate being reflective of the leaders' views, even if the Zeitgeist of the constituency has shifted slightly. Outsiders like McCarthy will not be excluded, but neither will they be named as Democrats or Republicans. Lastly, foresaking the "generally advocated" mark does not eliminate candidates; it instead entrusts the public and the party, rather \han the media, with the responsibility of determining the presidential primary contenders. Relinquishing the "generally advocated" standard, therefore, has been a positive move because the current criterion limits the power of the media to decide who should be a candidate and gives the power back to the people and the party.

Charles Rousseaux is a'junior in LSA and a staff writer for the Revie'lV.

The University of Michigan Students of Objectivism presents anappllcation of Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism

"Education and the Racist Road 'to Barbarism" by Dr. George Reisman MIn capitulating to the 'Eurocentrtc' critique, the educational establishment has reached the point of reducing education to a level below that of ordinary ward politics: education is now to be a matter of pressw'e -group politics based upon the totally false assumptions of racism." ,.

-Dr. George Reisman

Monday, April '13, 1992 8:00pm Rockham Auditorium U-M Students of Objectivism, The Ayn Rand Institute, MSA Admission free, for further information, call 665-5764.

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April 1, 1992

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

12

The Fortnightly Federalist: Paper No~,!~

Big Government, the Foe of Liberty by Mlc:haeI David Warren, Jr. Many individual liberties are essential for men to be free, and the denial of one may eviscerate them all. The rights to hold property, use assets at will, contract freely, be free from involuntary servitude, and organize collectively are all necessary to a free society, but the increasing threat to their existence may doom the American experiment. In pre-revolutionary Romania, for instance, the totalitarian state directed all economic activity and severely limited the freedoms of its citizens. Romania's tragedy was caused by dictator Nicolae Ceaucescu's failure to respect individual liberties. As the Declaration of Independence proclaims, govel'lUllents exist for the benefit of the governed. Inherent in that premise and embodied in the Bill of Rights are essential limitations of the state's power: the majority may not abridge inalienable individual rights. Had Romania followed this principle, it would have been a free nation. America is not Ceaucescu's Romarna, but it possesses a number of similarities. Democracy and respect for basic civil rights are sdidly rooted in the American ethos. In the sphere of the freedom of speech, one's liberty can be limited only if one's speech poses an imminent danger to society's well-being. Our government, however, has unlimited control over our economic liberty. Such power is unconstitutional and threatens all freedOll\. Our COnstitution possesses numerous protections of economic rights, many of which, unfortunately, have been disregarded by an increasingly officious Supreme Court and the federal government. The Founding Fathers generally held, for example, that the state could not take property from its rightful owner. The doctrine of enumerated rights, like fed~ was designed to limit federal spending and taxation to what is required for the nation's basic functioning enough to pay for interstate highways and commerce, the national defense, etc. Yet those protections have been discarded, and the major function of Congress has become wealth redistribution. The Fifth Amendment's "takings" clause, once a strong protector of individual liberty, has also been crippled. The clause mandates that the state may take private property only for public use, and that when it does so, the owner must be justly compensated. But the courts have made a mockery of the public use requirement. When De~it, for instance, took. a thriving commuruty lfta1i"etlti'll~ft'l>~M

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demolition, the decision was upheld as being necessary for "public use." Today, taking property from the political minority for the use of the political majority is more the rule than the exception. Similarly, the contracts clause, embodied in Article I of the Constitution, protects individual rights by barring laws "impairing the Obligations of Contracts." The Founders acknowledged that the protection of creditors provides the necessary business confidence for a thriving. economy and so secured the right of contract to prevent debtor relief laws during times of economic crisis. During the DepreSSion, however, the Court upheld such debtor relief laWs. The contracts clause was virtually eliminated. Moreover, armed with the U1}iform Commercial Code, state courts have ignored ~ contract terms (0 ensure favored results; in countless cases there have been modified prices, quantities, and delivery times in direct contradiction of explicit tenns. In Columbia Nitrogen v. Royster, for instance, the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals held that "31,(XX) tons of phosphate" at #561.00 per ton" were not binding contract terms. Economic rights are also protected by the Fourteenth Amendment. From its language, which protects "life, liberty, and property:' a host of recognized rights have arisen - including the right to travel freely, have an abortion, and maintain personal privacy; it should also secure basic economic rights. Although the amendment once vigorously protected economic liberty, the modem Court denies any such protections. Rent controls, once unconstitutional, now not only distort a healthy housing market, but expropriate a landlord's property simply for the benefit of his tenants. Similarly, minimum wage and maximum hour laws, also once barred, now undercut one's liberty of contract. "Economic freedom is also an indispensable means toward the achievement of political freedom," according to Milton Friedman's Capitalism and FreedOm, (p. 8, 1962). As Friedman explains, "The great advantage of the market '" is that it permits wide diversity. It is, in political terms, a system of proportional representation. Each man can vote, as it were, for the color of tie he wants and get it; he does not have to see what color the rnajority wants and then, if he is in the .. minority~ sub~t .:. :nus charact,~stic to; ~MltยงjMJft8ti6l\~fttlt~"M~yond

the narrowly economic. Political freedom means the absence of coercion ... By removing the organization of economic activity from the control of political authority, the market eliminates this ~e of coercive power"(p. 15). Reconsider Ceaucescu's Romania. Romanians were compelled to work in one of a few government-regulated occupations. Such coercion clearly violates individual liberty. The inability to start and own a business is an unquestioned denial of freedom. Inherent in those activities is the ability to contract freely and reap the fruits of one's labor - they too were buried by Ceaucescu. Yet these liberties are also substantially undermined in America. Thousands of regulations and schemes of income redistribution impede the free exchange and use of property, and each impediment inherently denies liberty. While our governmenf s regula--tory excesses pale in comparison tO'those of Ceaucescu's Romania, the parallels are nonetheless clear. We differ from R<r mania in degree only. Consider the social security system. The government, for our own good, takes a portion of our income and manages it until we retire. Setting aside the questionable wisdom of allowing a retirement fund to be run by an organization which has a current annual deficit of $400 billion, and even ignoring the likelihood that the social security trust fund will run out before ifs present-day contributors can ever enjoy its benefits, it seems clear that individuals should not be coerced into paying for their own retirement The government is motivated by a basic distrust of the individual's ability to care for himself. Such paternalism is not only unjust and bad policy, but it parallels the rationale undergirding collapSed communist regimes. Thousands of similar regulations exist. Some market regulation, of course, is justified in that it eliminates externalities. Exploitation of monopolies is an example. Most economic regulation, however, is improperly paternalistic. Regulations to "improve" products (standard warranties and excessive safety regulation), or for the laborers' own good (minimum wage and maximum hour laws) tend to deprive individuals of their freedom of choice. The government does not typically "improve" the market of ideas by ce~~ ~<>?k.s( P?rshoo.ld it, inie'rvene iritlle\~conoiriic fnar}(et: Yet it

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continually creates hundreds of pages of regulations which substantially interfere with individual economic rights; and its major purpose is wealth redistribution. Even more unfortunate, the increasing dependency of the market and individuals on the state threatens all liberty. Millions live in subordination to the government. As the governmenfs role in our society grows, so does its hunger for control. The gag rule upheld in Rust v. Sullivan, by which federal funded clinics cannot disperse information regarding abortion, is only one example of the power garnered by market intervention. The federal governmenf s increasing use of conditional funding to states to coerce them to implement national programs is another facet of the phenomenon, as is its pervasive influence on artistic expression via the National Endowment for the Arts. Washington's effort to displace the free market continues unabated. Core political rights have already been expunged by their incorporation into the economic sphere. The most egregious illustration of this is the gutting of the First Amendment with regard to electronic media. Unnoticed by the polity, the electronic media is strictly controlled by Washington. The government posits that the resources of radio and television waves are limited, and hence it may determine who utilizes those resources and in what manner, for the "public good." Regulations which would be unconstitutional if they were applied to newspapers are permissible for radio and television: pernicious, content-basedrestrictions on the media are enforced during every programming minute. The FCC's "7 dirty words" regulation, for example, censors specific words, and other regulations mandate that all radio stations must have a minimum amount of news coverage every hour. The scarcity rationale which allows such censorship, however, is not unique - all political freedoms are dependent upon scarce resources. The paternalistic welfare state, with its tentacles incessantly grabbing shares of the market, threatens the democratic framework of the nation. The late Friedrich von Hayek explained in his seminal work that the continual growth of state power inevitably leads us down Thre Road to Serfdom. America, at a slow pace, is slouching its way down that road toward just such a destination - Romania.

Michael David Warren, Jr. is a thirdyear law student and Vice President of '

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

April 1, 1992

Satire

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JFK: Amerika~Hears the Truth At Last· 1

by Tony Ghecea. Stacey Walker. and Jennifer Weil

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Valuing the advancement of a gay inadequate performer such as Oswald. agenda over their corrunurust cause, the Over the course of the next few years, members of the pink triangle (KRAPP's the leader of KRAPP revealed the actual leader, Abbie Hoffman, and Elvis) felt . details of the crime to his fellow lovers/ that Kennedy had set a bad example by co-<:onspirators. They expressed some sleeping 'With Marilyn Monroe (and just remorse over the fact that he had actually about everyone else who '~\'I'~ ! done the dirty deed; set foot in the Oval Of-. 1': 1~t their regret soon turned fice). They rriadeittheii ' :; to duplicity. He degoal from that day for~ ;',__ , " 1\ ' cided to have the other ward to put an end to . ~"I"" 'I' two homosexual flames Kenned~'s ,life. Elvis, li\ ' ,1:-'_: extinguished be,fore who mamtamed exten- \ 1_ t~, they could leak therr msive contacts throughout !~ '. formation to the press. t.he A. mer.icancomm.u. - 'TT<~'~o_.~. KRAPP's leader arnist infrastructure, put in .:::;i -.o.;~~ \ ' ; \ ' ranged to have Elvis 1 a call to his goo4 friend I . l . ' I: poisoned by a bad batch Lee HarVey Oswald. the following we~k; <?f. East Quad's Steak Kow. He forever He div\.11ged the gay triullwirate:spl~' <,,~SecUiedAbbie's silence by hiring a young to assassinateKenriectys6 tOi~adicate ;1{)r.Jack Kevorkian to lobotomize Abbie, White House homopho!>ia. .1 ... . " - 4r!.d·.r:eplacehis frontal lobe with the miss. '••~ , ~nthr~led by}~~ Pf?&p'ec~ of as~~; :, H~ ,po~!~ns of Kennedy'sbrain. , smatirig aneter<fieXlst adtllterer, iil\~n~..: c :'; }"i' fW~lth,er of the lovers IS ableto tell his emy of thecbmmuni's~ state; and an 'ad;: " tale:~ay; . But our sourc~, the one and mitted car,d";ca,rrj'ing member of the only "Flamin' Cords" Jake himself, has ACLU to boot, ()~wald gladly aq;epted . . finally c()!riefor~ardto reve~,the sto1)': 'the offer, having h()knowledge o( what " \~~" . ",' .- ~._

Ongoing controversies surround many political figures and the late John F, Kennedy is no exception. Lee Harvey Oswald has traditionally been accepted as Kennedy's probable assassin, although a number of alternate theories have been putforth to explain the mystery behind Kennedy's untimely death. But today the mystery has been solved. First brought to ~ur attentio~ by a local resident, the twIsted tale of Jealousy, deception, and unrequited love that culmi. urder has bee.n nated in Kennedy's m revealed. A conspiracy involving a number of Ann Arbor residents and unlikely and apparently unconnected public figures appears to have been at the root of Kennedy's assassination. Late on that sunny af~emoon of October 14,1%0, when ~~~edy first, ca~e to the steps of the MIChigan Umon to deliver his now-famous Peace Corps speech, the seeds of the unlikely plot that would ultimately lead to Kennedy's death were first planted in the mind of a young entertainer by thename?fShakey Jake. was~~; ~~rn,~;liei~~K"e~Qi'ily. t~at t~le ::: ' ' ~$ fortune w()u}d h~ve It)ake(by thi)t ~eaderp~' ~~~7o~}lRl~t~r?~p , ~4 ~Im time known througho';lt Ann Arbor as .tn perie>fthirtg lhs 'Ctea(nt~ee.d: .. . . •.. , "Stru~ri' Machine~" Jake) was sched-.. ~g~t ~~(o~~.~~~~y:~ Mo~orc~~?f " ' " . uled to give a solo perfofll\ance (for a ...' took-,tiot: fit:t~hu~ tf{~t.fat~fu~Noverii- , contribution, of courSe) on the steps of. ' . ber j'riorruhi, 0?W;;iII:l's c~assa$sin, th~ , , . the Union onthe s~edaya~d at th,e .· anohymousleaaer,'~(~PP, ~~d'e ~,s ,', same time as Kennedy was suppOsed to way to :l posj~~dn 1?et\~ath t~~ famops '" speak. The U-M, however, thought Jake. grassy krioll. Ke-tl{l(f lwtial1y ihtende~ to ' _ might 1.lse his airtime to endorse mari~ adorI),ljim$e)f in~. h:df'pi~k,glow~in- . , juana legalization, so it denied, h~m a the-:dar~, : rltipt-:-Q~v,()r,~.~r'airlsli~ker (so ;: " permit topel'fdrm. Having been so " as n~t t,9 ·.~t~,r~ctat;~~iJ~~~tb.11~in !)is" roughly displaced by the young ups!art. . hasteto~~avellie Ili?t~t;~~ l'~rn~m~~red , .', Kennedy, Jake stormed off, thoroughly . only to,sna~d,thj~ ~lnfjr~IW ~~l~eni;l~dy :: .. ' disgusted~ There would be no guitar' ' . mu(d~~ ~D\:ys~~ryJ~t~' fi~ h:1~ ,~rti~ .t6b'e ," playing or pan-ilandling on that day. . ,. knownsirn:ply as the' "Umbhma Mali." . . It was in this disturbed state of mind Seconds before Kennedy's motorthat "Flamin' Chords" Jake, as he later ' cade glide<i into position, Oswald fired, carne to be known, entered the U-M steapl but pt~mC\turely: The leader of KRAPP" ." turmels t9 ~ttend th,e weekly meeting pf - howeyer; set:l:singa<t.egree ofirl.~ptitu~e his favori~e underground Ann Arbor . on the part of'Oswatd,'had taken .tare . communist group, K9rntnunist Revoh,i~ "': beforeh'andto fill the 'ch'a~~er, 0(' .

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asked for ~~~ts£rom. the local_prol~ ' daride~til)~ ,(jp~ra~o,t\ ",as, f:e,t;'d,~r~d a . tariat, J"ke,. t!houted . "Qowrt wi~~ ' . moo~ pohl.t.~t:" ,s )~a~'et ~lo~ .his ' .• ' Kennedy! The¢~pit~st knave stol~~>.' .', wll~¥el~~i~' ~~~Ftt~ ~n l?a~ed .~ith {' comer!" After c9psohngJake on the loss themystenou,s, ~mf\SI<' ~\1~et, and fltec:l , ., of his daily gratuities, the lead~ asked on Kennedy;' penetrating rus'he'ad; .' other members of the group to express . .,ThenI\RAP:P'sJe<lderwithdl'E?w_fr~ their feelings regarding Kennedy. Emothe scene of the Crime, leaXTing t'>Swald < ,' tions ran high against the president, parholding the b~g. In an effo~ to protect his ticularly amo~~ ~ ,trip of hOrtl~x~al rea.r, th,¢ ieaderhired ~ t!tysterious, well- .' lovers (11 ¢.nk.~gle, ~ it we.re)! l.t w~ . d~~, t;.u~r9~.d~o~~(riow J~nown: as " thf!. <U~<?~t~i\t:sp.a~ed, bYJake.·sac~- . . Ja~~~~brl~okin:Os~ald~efore ~e<a~ , .' '" . sation that Ultimately'proyt~e9theun- ., nary ~~.Th~re wa~no lov~ los~ be~ , . ~tus,f'?f~~Y~~~~n. , __.~,. _ tw~,i\' lh~ ~¥.pJ~ ,~o!l~eir:a~9~~~~~,:.., , ~ .,

Ghecea, Walker, and Weil are membetS . of the.Revietu's Ucrack cOJnmission'~ on theKtmnedy assassination - tMy are ' proud to have'put your minds tor~t "

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of how he first inspired the assassination of "that knave," John F. Kennedy. But one question obviously remains, Exactly who was the leader of this KRAPP, the head of the pink triangle, the umbrella-covered killer of Kennedy? Shakey will tell us only this: the WarreN ' Commission knows, and if we get it to open its top secret files and reveal to us the slightest bit of information - even the first letter the first word of the first sentence of every paragraph - we surely will be able to piece together his name. We followed those directions with the help of one of our U.S. government spieS, but he would not let us reprint the files verbatim. We have thus resorted to other, similar means of informing YOll, the reader, of the culprit's identity. So get to work - the future is in your hands.

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

14

.,

Funding Cuts

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Continued Frqm Page 1 two-year problems. Cross felt that if ~ts increasing competition for the limited bilities on those most directly involved ing staff and progams. If measures like TQM and the .search were to continue, majorproolems could funds available. with a problem, .and thereby centralizes arise in the future. fornon-govemmental funding prove problem diagnosis and management. On the positive side for the U-M, the Such budget problems are not unique lack of state funds has resulted in a search Although aU of the U-M's .deans an~ effective, the V-M's ·financial position to the U-M Even the venerable and well- for new funds and an attempt on the , ticipate more bl,ldget cuts in. th~near . should bestrengtlte,ned. In thisway, the funded Yale University has 'cut 130 supof the administration to strerunline its future, they d9 npte)(p.ect any major Uriivet;Sity can redefine itself and its goals port staff and the varsity wrestling and program cuts. Many of them emphasized for the future in away beneficial to an burea.ucracy . The Total Quality Manage-. water polo teams. The Yale administrament (TQM) program that will be implethe University's need..to beco~~ more students. tion is also considering eliminating the efficient .and cost-effective, ~d· com~ mentedbeginning in September .is an linguistics and applied physics depart- attempt to improve efficiency and rementedthat withou.tsuch efforts, aU de- Joe Coletti is a j-unior in Asian stu.di~ ments, according to a story in the Februsponsivenessto problems. The TQM propartments will eventUally be. forced to andan;tssistant editor of the Reoi~. ary 3, 1992 it6ue of Time. Yale has a delidt gram places deciSion-making responsimake more. difficultdecisiol.lS concel'f\of well over $8 million and thus a budget in need of drastic cuts; Endowment donations at the University have also decreased in recent yeaxs. The same article also stated that California State University at Long Beach has undergone similar budget slashing. It has cut three varsity sports, seventy-five full-time faculty, and five hundred temporary teachers. The University of California at Davis ....;<" "" has been hit with budget reductions as As Americans, we all have a right to, free access to information, withoutregard to .,# well. Dick Miesinger of the Planning and age, sex,. status or income. ThiS is what Benjamin FraJ!ldin had in mind when he Budget Office at UC-Davis said that in developed the concept for ~fIrst tree public library more tha,n 200yeru:s ago. the 1990-91 school year state legislators targeted administration, organizational research, and public service for cuts. The administration has had more flexibility But the Right to Know is lijce a 10tofothertJIings - you use it or youtose it. in planning. this year, but this has. led to Andtoo many people are rellnquighingthis right, which is so basic to infonned tighter budgets throughout theUnivercitizensllip, ~rs:onru success and enjoyment sity.There have also been staff.cutbacks, Unfortunately; we may all lose our Right to Know if current trends in library although so.far no tenure-track faculty have been eliminated. support continue. A natjonalfunding crisis has forced libraries allover the U.S. .to cut back hours, elitnfuate programs, close children's rooms· andpaikbookmobiles Fee increases for the UC system, indefmitely. which totaled forty percent this year and will reac. twenty-four pen;ent for the The tide of censorship is also swelling, with more titles being challenged in schools 1992-93 sthool year, prompted student protests in early Ma,rch. At UC-Berkeley and libraries each year. And, a growing trend toward private companies nmningan one student went on a hunger strike, and "information industry" is slowly but surely turning the Right to Know into a at UC-Davis student protests resulted in commodity. available for sale to the highest bidder. the arrests of five people. Such hostility I however, is not present at Northwestern University, which stands in sharp contrast to its fellow instituti?ns. While keeping tuition increases under six percent for the last six years, Northwestern has practiced ~Igood, sound management," said· .Chuck Loebbaka, Manager of Media Relations \ at Northwestern. Loebbaka added that Stand up and be counted. Your "yes vote" will belp us to teU our nation's legislators while other universities were greatly inthat Americans value their. libraries and want to see them fully supported. This 800 creasing their budgets throughout the number willbeinoperation~ 16-Aprilll.1992. 19808, Northwestern maintained a fisCallers must be 18 years or older: cally responsible system of allocating Jess than they expected to re<eive. This has *'ITD: 800-552;'9097 for the bearing impaired actually allowed Northwestern UniveJlsity to increase its budget tbis.y~'while other sdtoots face difficult dams Concemingcuts. THEUNlVERSl'I'Y OFMICHfGAN LmRAlty . In addition to the. stattcuts fKing , American.Li ...-X ~oo of Libraries USA· public sthooIs and dropsm eridowment . . . . andPria¥;ia .. funds at private universities, the federal , •• %_ _' - _ .... ~~~~~.-~ . . i!dJ 3!.i,t' S.P¢iJJ,J.ir,J~j,<I.>,.,),,(.p4'J.,q+ ,iii(" t·r""',l-~~':~,r.> avaiIaNe b uniwnity.:ruelld. . . thus

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THE MICHIGJiNREVIEW

1, 1991

)k Review

15

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All We Are Saying Is... 'ara Chance

East Germans. 'There's something about Marxism that brings out warts - the only kind of growth this economic sys. tern encourages." He then takes time to disparage Mikhail Gorbachev and his s.. fans. "Yeah, he's a visionary. Like lore Jayabalan Hirohito was after Nagasaki. We [the 's t people who grew up in the U.s.} won. And let's not let anybody msidered themselves liberal. They forget it." Finally, in full defense of capi'ed of Eisenhower and Nixon, so talism, he gloats, "We ... tore a new cted Kennedy as president. They asshole in International Communism. ~d the U.s. involvement in VietThe privileges of liberty and the sanctity of the individual went out and whipped burning draft cards. On campus, )f these baby-boomers particibutt." O'Rourke also visits Northern Ire1 rallies protesting anything over . land, and returns with an "enjoyable" (if of 30. O'Rourke was one of these young that is possible) account of the troubles .; one who, fortunately, saw the and violeni;e there. As with Holidays in Hell, he to relish being in a dangerhis ways and became wiser with tis newest book, Gin? War aChance, ous situation, especially if a bar is nearby. rJ (I' fl [ ly\ viii be released later this month, O'Rourke also makes his customary visit -conservative O'Rourke explains to Latin America, stopping by Paraguay and Nicaragua, where he witnessed the ntile behavior of modem liberals Iy that is sure to make readers' elections that deposed the Sandinista regime. Of special interest is his frighten'he from laughing quite heartily, ingly plausible allegation that the "press" 'Ie case of '60s wanr'la- be's like choa, make them cry and whine in Nicaragua was made up of "backpack )re. journalists from the Ann Arbor Reincartitled "Eyewitness Accounts of nation for Peace Coalition's public-acd' s Struggle against Tyranny, cess cable program." ~ and Alcohol-Free Beer," Give In "Second Thoughts," O'Rourke rehance is dedicated to the young turns to bashing leftists. Summing up the o went to Vietnam in O'Rourke's experience of many neo-conservatives [e explains, "Like many men of who survived the 1%Os, he writes that ~ration, I had an opportunity to liberalism "has sent my spoiled and petuu a chance, and I promptly lant generation on a journey to Oz, a ed out," adding th.U he hopes parts in art museums ... [and] have injourney from which some of us are only young man returned home in vented whole college majors - psycholnow struggling back, in intellectual tate, and that "in 1971, when someogy, SOciology, women's studies - to ters." lched me in the face for being a prove that nothing is anybody's fault." O'Rourke's opinions on civil liberty ired peace creep, I hope that was Responding to charges that he is a Nazi, issues vary in tone, depending on the O'Rourke seems blithely unconcerned; issues involved. Displaying his ardently , War a Chance, O'Rourke's sixth after all, he notes, "no one has ever had a libertarian views, he argues that drug similar to his other works; it is fantasy about being tied to a bed and tests are unconstitutional and an "irrey a compilation of essays origisexually ravished by someone dressed as versible intrusion into private lives" :)lished in Rolling Stone, the Ameria liberal." which constitutes "the first step towards 'afor, and other magazines. In the The first section of Give War a Chance, totalitarianism." O'Rourke then makes a ::tion, he writes that the book is titled liThe Birth, and Some of the After180 d'egree turnabout in his third section, 1 battle against evil," which fobirth, of Freedorn," is an account of the "A Call (or a New McCarthyism." 1 the recent Persian Gulf War author's traveis aroufla the world, a Throughout the late 1980s, O'Rourke and le covered for Rolling Stone and chronicle that has fun at the expense of others had compiled an "Enemies List" 10), as well as "drugs in the U.s., communists and terrorists. Anyone fa- . of various leftists and radicals in the n Africa, and everything in the miliar with O'Rourke's work will quickly · American Spectator. Rather than focus on East." From the start, O'Rourke recognize the resemblance of this sectiortindividuals, O'Rourke instead turns his erals, directly or indirectly, the to Holidays in Hell, in which O'Rourke wrath on specific institutions, such as .lse of all these troubles. recounts his visits to such "vacation politicized, hyper-sensitive universities. 'laying his awareness of libertarspots" as Beirut and the Philippines. This As O'Rourke states, "Academia, too, ical tradition, O'Rourke makes a time, however, O'Rourke infuses his exis a veritable compost heap of Bolshie distinguishing between modem cursion with a righteously victorious air,' brain mulch. Beardo the Weirdo may IIld classica1liberals. Unlike their celebrating the triumph of the U.s. in the have been laughed out of the real life Cold War. , . '; . '., " during the 19705, but he found a home in . counterparts, modern liberals, s, are "people who are excited First stoppirtg irf B~rHrt, O'Rourke ' our nation's colleges, where he whiles . takes the reader to the crumbling Wall, away the wait for Woodstock Nation II ; percent of the profits of Ben and :el:n!ll'n~ to'''lUIltote'wmd-· -~~TIOM'tft(PCOiilotmOitof'furlT~ "" 11t!SMi'rm arm(!fI!t3dfla:~fth~"

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peace." While these people may be wellintentioned, O'Rourke declares that their actions have resulted in disaster after disaster for mankind. He reaches his conclusion by first determining that either pad thinking or bad government is at the root of all evil, and then explaining how "liberals have been vigorous cheerleaders for both." The introduction is a well-stocked arsenal, loaded with many other humorous and appropriate characterizations of modem liberals. Writing on liberals' disregard for responsibility, O'Rourke remarks that "liberals want the freedom to put anything into their mouths, to say bad words, and to expo$e their private

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tural diversity and collectivist twaddle when they should be thinking about better car stereos." In a series of book reviews, O'Rourke proceeds to pulverize a collection of popular "limousine liberals" who have been accepted into the mainstream. Sex "expert" Dr. Ruth West heimer, Chrysler Chairman Lee Iacocca ("he's being bruited about as a Democratic presidential candidate. The man deserves no better."), Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter, and the Kennedysare among the victims of O'Rourke's relentless sarcasm and wit. The Kennedys seem to be one of his favorite targets. While the question of "how these sewer trout managed to swim upstream into our body politic" is a mystery to many, O'Rourke admits that his entire generation voted for the Kennedys because "they were pretty." The book's final section deals with the Gulf War. Being in favor of the conflict and approving of Bush's handling of it, O'RourkeJiescribes Saddam Hussein as " \;)l.O['Se than Hitler, worse than Staljn, [and]worse than waking up wearing a wedding ring next to Roseanne Barr." Travelling to various parts of the Middle East, the author witnessed plenty of false air raid warnings, one actual Scud missile attack, and a number of unusual Arab customs. In the end, he was pleased by the lack of protest against the war from liberal American elites. "Getting Jane Fonda to be quiet - this alone makes fighting Iraq worthwhile." Give War a Chance can be best described as a hybrid between O'Rourke' s last two books, Parliament of Whores and Holidays in Hell. In the former, he ,ridicules "Big Government," while in the latter, the subject matter is war zones around the world. In his latest work, O'Rourke combines the two and attacks statist liberals for all the havoc they have caused worldwide. In the end, however, Give War a Chance is not quite on par with the other two, if only because it is more predictable; a regular O'Rourke reader will not be terribly surprised by anything here. First-time O'Rourke readers, though, will find the book extremely funny. Give War a Chance, once again, proves what many already know: first, that O'Rourke is the funniest writer in America, and second, that modem liberals, such as the ones that grace the U-M, are truly pathetic.

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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Ex-Drug Czar Discusses Domestic Policy of the current administration. allot? What role, if any, would the federal No president has ever hailed from government play in voucher distributhe neoconservative intellectual elite, altion? He clearly envisions a day when Summit Books though Reagan effectiyely had that parents will have the opportunity to extWdcovet', $20.00 group's endorsement in 1980. The amine several public <md prjvate schools,. 271pga. neoconservatives, as a segment of a assess the strengths and weakne~ of broader conservative movement, have each, and send their children to the iristiby John J. Miller tutions they consider best for theii needs. . often been characterized as reformed libWashington Post columnist Jonathan erals whose critical faculties and attenIf confronted by the realities.of competiYardley once described William J. Bennett tion to the social sciences have lately tion, schools would perform adequately as a "buzzword." Yardley claimed that or shut down. It's a grand view, and,. aligned them rather closely with tradiBennett, like Ronald Reagan, had come tional conservatives and libertarians. perhaps the single most important·rem,. to embody a collection of concepts and edy for ailing American schools. Bennett . They do, however, retain a few markings policy positions, and that the mere mentha.t distinguish them as a group, such as has elsewhere been a powerfuladvocate tion of his name signaled an array of a belief that government, properly manof school choice. One wishes he had given viewpoints immediately familiar to any aged, can produce positive results. A listener. Bennett, in effect, had been I ........ the topic more attention here. look at Bennett's resume shows that he is That Bennett handles this and ·most reified. a neoconservative in good standing: Although subtitled "The Fight for of his topics in a siniiJar fashion is not many traditional conservatives and libOur Culture and Our Children," necessarily a weakness - if one's priBennett's new book might more accumary interest lies in Bennett.Much of the ertarians have argued against the very existence of the three agencies over which rately be called "William Bennett's Fight," book is·personal, as it usually revolves he has presided. around Bennett's personal experiences for it takes the reader on a high-speed Bennett often raises contentious istour of the controversies surrounding or touches upon the lives of individuals sues within conservative circles, to say Bennett and the threejobs he has held who have in some way involved themnothing of what moderates and liberals under two presidents: Chairman of the selves in one of Bennett's areas.9L«n:r~ The Fight for think of his ideas. The De-Valuing of National Endowment of.the Humanities, cern. Indeed, the brief sketclles of Joe Our Culture 5ecretaIy of EduGltien, and"Drug Czar," Clark, principal of Eastside High School .. America provides an opportunity for aU · and Our or Diredor of the Office of National Drug to evaluate what Bennett can offer the in Paterson, New Jersey, and Jaime l :hildrell Control Policy. Bennett manages to encountry.,so maybe this book is important Escalante, .a calculus teacher formerly of capsulate these wid~ranging subject not so much because it chronicles "The Garfield·High School in East Los Angeareas under the generalized rubric of Fight for Our Culture and Our Children," les, are inspiring. "culture wars," but the book as a whole is but because it lays down a game plan, For matters of policy, however, the somewhat discursive and bound only by In what is perhaps the most telling however briefly, for a man who might educated reader will likely gain some Bennett's persona. Granted, the rise of statistic, 62 percent of teachers and adnew information, but not hear any parfigure prominently in this nation's fudeconstruction might be attributed to ministrators in the Milwaukee public ticularly new ideas. One can only hope ture. prof~rs so stoned that they could not school system refuse to send their_chilthat the attention Bennett gives to school make sense of anything they read, but dren to local public schools. Thanks to choice, or any other policY idea, will lead John J. Miller is a senior in English and the problems of drug use and the manner State Representative PoUy Williams and interested readers to other sources. (A editor-at-Iarge of the Review. in which the humanities are taught at the others, however, Wisconsin isbeginning hope, incidentally, which leads toa siguniversity level touch each other only in to offer a limited number of $2,500 school nificant problem: the book includes not a. the tangential way any two social quesvouchers to low-income families . .AI,. single footnote to any of the dozens of tions will connect when considered as though the educational establishment has articles, studies, or speeches sprinkled aspects of one society. vigorously opposed the program and its throughout the text This is a major overThis would normally lend a book an threat to educrat dominance, enroUment sight.) unfocused· quality. But, once again, in Milwaukee private schools has skyAn interest in Bennett is certainly not Bennett looms overhead as a unifying rocketed, and many previously di~dunwarranted. His name is often menagent, a buzzword. Highly autobiovantaged children are currently performtioned as a possible Republican presiCrossword Puzzle AMwers graphical, The De-Valuing of America is ing at or above their grade level . dential candidate in 1996, and this is filled with anecdotes detailing Bennett's Bennett cites a similar problem and precisely the sort of book a prospective schoolroom visits, his presence at drug success story in East Harlem, New'York, candidate might author. Bennett plays a busts, and his unremitting war with the and generally sings the virtues of school hero, an almost larger-than-life figure media. Bennett addresses many of the choice. To his credit, school choice comdelivering a good dose of common sense debates which give the anecdotes a conprises one of the three fundamental reto Beltway insiders who have lost touch text of significance, but he seldom susforms he believes American schools urwith mainstream American values. It's tains arguments for more than a few gently require (the other two being a likely that regardless of what happens in pages. The reader gets a taste of everytoughened curriculum and ameans of 1992, Republicans in the future will be thing, but nothing in particular nourholding teachers accountable for job perlooking for this type of It!ader, an indiishes. formance). vidual who will advance a set of nonYet hi~ call to action, as presented in Consider the case of school choice, negotiable principles. Bennett must realBennett and others have proposed, quite this book, lacks a cohesive plan. He supize this, and although he avoids criticizsensibly, that the government should ports a "full-scale voucher program," ing President Bush in this book and elsebut neglects to specify exactly what this willingly break its virtual monopoly on where, the fact that he now lives mainly e~tary _ seamdaql e4~lly. -.'. ,~~"d~iOWI .. ·Wh€l·~-uld"~.eLigij,J~1, in;th~ 1'P,v.a,te sectorirpplititly sugges~ > providjng tax vouchers to parents who How much money would each voucher what he might really think about much

.",. De-Vllluing of America William J. Bennett

wish to send their children to private schools. That private schools regt,tlarly outperform their stat~ru.n counterparts is no secret, except perhaps at teacher union meetings. In Milwaukee,. Wisconsin, for example, only 40 percent of all ninth graders enroUed in public schools complete high school. Private schools in Milwaukee, however, boast a 98 percent graduation rate. What's more, the $600 million that annually supports Milwaukee public schools averages out to about' $6,000 per student; private schools can educate their students at a fraction of the cost. r'-::;;;;::::;;;;;;::-----j

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high sChool il~action, which Dennis has with MeJit)dl1'$ !:lexualliaiSonswith Con, rom~tic at. h~arl,:retums to her home aimOstforgotten, Libby haS d~ign$ori ' , her ; mQther' b~omesplatonicaUyin- town to reclaim ti,1e title of "Belle of Rat;. ..~ventuallY'rriarryiilg :lUnl. Whlle'theid~a " . . volvedJ:m'.m ·~~ <>fher'oWri,butcannof row;"but she ~~s tQ ~alize that ~g •;. $ee1YlS.a Ii ttl~ unreaH$tic to:Meli~da;' she -' : : bringhe~lfto cheat onljetttavelinga "good dancer and:~ :t\ate" just dOOsn~t . • cat)notdi ~gr~;withher mend's'Qpifa. · <· saJ.es6'iari ;httSb~d; · .• . '." "... . ' : . . ". . '.. ' OlHtany more~ l:ler:;tOmantic notions are . 305pga. . · tions;asshe plits it; "wherr ' .' , ": Llpman asse~~lesthesene~y,qu,ashed:~y, the 'Cynicismari4de.. by AdamGaraglot. therits'no One else Ul outllves ' <! 'el~~tS to aeate ~~uiI\ely .. spairwhichherb~]ove life holds'ibr , Elinor lipman's second novel is proOf , . ' we teridto'reigruteold nam~, ' ': unique lciveistory in'ill1of the " . her: In the finalpages~ (however, tlw~- . that anauthe . r,can be.at. the drea.~ed.'. , :no.m.alt.er.'ho.,W : :.Jl\i~O.: ~;)We' ~ 'I such multi~faceted, . ~Qr.n.' PI:.eXit. Y.·';'... ,·9..nlletw. ·.. . een. ~•.eHnda ~d De . .nrl1'!;.ls . fi" . sophomore slump. TheWayMtnActls8 , ." stanrtedout:romanhc pasts , a story requlr~s •. The ' :iWly\brokenand, ~lvesl~lf mtc) ~n:tebrilliantlyentert~ning and pOign~tly ' , : fO"qmdidat~s thesam,e ~ay f.: i characte~ find t~e~Selves ... . :~\lerydifferenl While Meli~da finds· humorous appraisal ()f the pUrSudof ·' . we pushed the Seekl,,,,tton 9n . '.,'. entangled In compbcat~iyet" , ',thl$ turnabout completely unexpected, out at radiOs,' hoping to find ! - • plausible dilemmas, thei~ reo-, : in l,ipman's universe the Only true love is happiness in the 19905. 'Flw.novel takeS the form of a firsll ~'.' .8 sbng we wa~ted tdhear.",,<\ . , . ' sponses to which are based as ; ~:: that which ariSes unplanned; all the ~1aperson narrative; the narrator, Melinda ! "; motepressins :'1,':oltcem -tt'r £ll u r 1I p. U . . much upon their perceptions c' tionships that look gOO<1·on paper~ as,it leBlanc, is also the'Central pfotagoniSt:oF' ..•. iMelirtlla.' hQweyer,.is herl6,vri . _ . of other people}s feelings as.. . .. were, fail for the wocst of J:'eason~ ' .•. . the stot')'; .As the story 4eals wi th th~ i ,~': unr~1 ved attraction toDennis. ,".' .'.their own. Hence, none of the charact~ ::. . Alive with humor, emotion anJidlar-. complications involved In personafrela.; ': ' ::. '.. ' The basic love triangle plot made is reaJly certain how the others feel, and , acter, lipman's novel is a most ~njoyal:!le , tionships,Lipman~~ht$eof.:fitst person:' .::fresh arid engaging by Uptri~rt~s wen:,· the manner in which the love triangle '. read; recommended for anyoriewho~. narration is especlallY' OIpt; by limiting '," developed characters, imd her' ~firi(dy ./; 'will be resolved remains in suspense until faith that love is still possible in the mod·' the t~adertoone perSp ecti ve~: she; ~ b- .·•...... tuned exposition. Lipman .skinfuIlY",iJ(,,; ;'c'the very end of the story. em world has waned. ,' ,} " , limelyilluslrate$one .o f the compl ica-~" : . troduces new complications amt ' >~ ,". Romantic and realistic at the same ,.. Adam Garagiol. is a junior in c~tive" lions that.plagues any rc lationshi p~the, .' i . smoothly weaves numerous 8\Jb-plots· : ;, ti~, TIlt Way Men Act is a sophisticated writing and comparative Iiteratuie:in'4 inaPility to.knoWi with certaintyr the fetll~ :: ',into her story, giving it a sense of cirama ';;-case study of the mystery of attraction the litswy' editor of the Review. ' ,,:" ings of anOther. .' ., . , ' and Clepth that pulls readers in and cap- " ,and the often puzzling process by which The stmy~ns witht:hf!~atofs tu~es. thei r interest and attention. .' ·.• suCh feelings evolve into love. Melinda. a retum to her home town ofHal1'()w, / .•·...Anothermerit of lipman's writing is .' Massacbusetts,apl'ace pe rha p~ be5f , . her- expansive' narrative style. The story . thoughtofas aNew England versiort:ol'i': ; .c::overs a'broad swath of the characters' . Ann.Arbor viewed 'through th.e \vrong\ , individual and collective pasts. This can • end of a te~_ope. Ifsa :collegetow:~ ' be difficult to pull off,es.p ~~lly in wh.at '. hameto asrnal~ formcrlyaJl-fcmole .f~ri- ? . i!> ba~icaJly alove :story; thereisJhe dan-' vale sdloot ' . . ...' .' .'. "" ;:;: ger of winding up witb a 'preten~~sly Me~a,'s aCcountofithelnOtiv~tiOns mitnhng mock epic. A lesser writer !night . she and Mrfriend$ havefor returning to hav~ cringed and avoided the difficu Ity ',l' Harrow gives thereader : a~sense, of. '· :a1losether, hacking out another dull boy- }' Upman',s insightflllly ironic'perspective: " :riwcts-girl scena rio. Lipman's talent, "We l*e thequaint.i,5Qundof'that,'M<lJO however, is equal to the task; her digresStreet,'beci.useaUor us livoo Somewhere ~jon., are aJways pleasantly absorbing moreim~ting fot a~ime "and rell,uned excursIons; in which, for example, the home with the ~'1c:tion that a gentrified read er discovers the various tension coUege:town (cnp'pucono mac;:htnes, powhich result from Melinda's recoUections etryreaqings, bike path:.) with shade of her you(hful expectations and the curtreesand.pflPer ballo~, \Vlth styJjsh food · , rent. stnte of her life. and parking meters that Still took d ime.~, . . ... . .•.. In a similar fashion, the various suband nickels, woUldgiv(!us~aHtyOf ,:~ plots that develop as the novel progres.<;es Life." , . . ' . , ' . ~~e nolsimply melodramatic complica-:,. Melinda, 'now 3O,and :withnothi ng ', ~or\5,Each of the episodes is epiphanic in .... to show for the'years iri' .W'hiCn~everY>, nature, for they reveaJ the feel ings of the' " W hen you sell your t extbooks to Ulrich's Bookstore other Harrowite ;with .fuill' a~ra'in was .characters in a manner that foreshadows · . between April 20th and May l rd you'll receive cash and eaminga couple of degtees~"ha$ re.; .•... _heir reactions 1tocomplicatio'ns which a coupon good for 1 FREE Subway 6-inch sandwich tumedhome to workin,Forget.':·Me-;Nol/ ::' .hayeyettd arise. ,' .... . • . . i .. complimenU of Ulrich's Bookstore. (her cousin~sflowershop}onthe "artiStic ' ; . · ·. The scope ,o fth~riov(d isbroa(l~t One coupon per visil • $10.00 minimum buy·back required side of things," and build alifef()thet;; ' ttt$'tt\e lovetriangl~ jtcontiiins; Lipman Coupon redeemable al Mlch_ Union and Packard-Hill Subway Sub Shope only • Expires 5 5,92 self. Melinda's friend' .nd conf'idant~, :als9finds ~ to exiUruneQlOdem~ual . Main Bookstore: Libby Gretcbet is.anothetHarrowite ~." . .'" ~, induci~gan account OfMe~da's " .. 549 East University turning With th~ hope of esta~li~hiI)8 :;;;, 'p~":ti~I?\"er:Co~with, wh().mshei~s : ArtJEngineering Store and herself, byopemng a dress shop m the , " 4 sex-wlth""'Oj$trillgs-attach~ ¥fcur.<. Electronics Showroom: same building as Fotget-Me-Not.The · T~g~~re -not': of.courSe, ,~ simple '~ ,, " 1117 South University Phone : 313-662-3201 third principle charaCter is another t,n':;".·.·.: the)" appear, Ind~ed, then~,ityand " -:': :" Monday-Friday 9:00-6 :00 ant oHhebuilding, nenrusVaughnt lVho '!:" diffkulty 'ofWstinguishing loye from I~ '· · Saturday 9:30-5:00 owns and operates ~opPers, a sp(t ' ; emerges as OM of the.majOl' tnemes Of the, Sunday Noon to 4 :00 THAN A BOOKSTORE oality store for fly fisberm~n. .", '. 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18

April 1, 1992

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Music Review

King's X Marks the S'potwith New Album by Mike BeIdler With the success of their monumental 1990 album Faith Hope Lave and the radio favorite U!Y s Low," King's X gained a sizeable audience that can only grow

with their latest self-titled release. Continually breaking new ground in the progressive metal categoryJ King's X has once again created an accessible and impressive album.

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Jerry Gaskill, Doug Pinnick, and Ty Tabor might be looking in different directions, but they sure can play good music. Watch for a tour in the near future.

This fourth album, while retaining the classic King's X sound, is their most commercial release to date. But King's X hasn't sold out to any corporate rock conglomerate. Rather, King's X has brought out the best of their last'three albums, melded the diverse sounds together, and created a fresh new sound that's heavier, tighterl and more experimental than ever before. Says drummer Jerry Gaskill, "We're not trying to do anything other than what we've been doing. We're just making the music that comes out of us and that we enjoy. If it happens to be a little bit more commercial sounding, then that's just because that's what came out of us." Taking advantage of a newfound audience, King's X is ready to hit the charts with a heavy punch. The first single, "Black Flag/' is fast-paced an~ them showcasing both the Beatlesque vocals of guitarist Ty Tabor and drummer Jerry Gaskill and the soulful wails of bassist Doug Pinnick. ~' _......'''' King's X kicks into overdflve with

"The World Around Me" and prepares the listener for "Prisoner/' the most radio-ready single on the album. "Prisoner" takes King's X into uncharted territory with a catchy pop/ alternative guitar riff and powerful vocal tradeoffs between Tabor and Pinnick. The band's first bona fide love song, "Dream In My Life/' also has great radio potential with its acoustic intro, surprising rhythm changes, and driving bass. The album takes a tum with ''The Big Picture/' a slow gospel rocker featuring an industrial-influenced chorus, and the upbeat "Lost In Germany," which details personal aspects of the band's onthe-road experience while touring last year with AC/OC. The "Chariot Song," with several tongue-in-cheek allusions to the band's last three albums, the pounding "Ooh Song/' and "What I Know About Love" are strongly representative of the musical style of Faith Hope Lave. "Not Just For the Dead/' featuring some psychedelic sitar-playing by Tabor, is one the album's best songs and reflects the band's strong faith and spiritual roots that make King's X one of the rna;! unusual metal bands to hit the mainstream The album ends nicely on a meditative note with "Silent Wind/' the band's plea for spiritual unity and a common search for truth and understanding, and closes with an awesome triad of drum, bass, and organ. King's X will tour the United States and Europe soon.

Sick of Seattle? Too Damn Bad Love Battery o.yglo

"We Didn't Start the Fire/' with referalmost any scenery. Too bad Love Batences to legends like John Coitraine, tery doesn't have a lifetime warranty. Sub-P~ Charlie Parker, Miles Davis, and Jack Check out Love Battery's high-pow-. Kerouac. The slow wah-wah guitars ered electric set On Wednesday, April 1 at by JoeEpNin mixed in detract from the song, however, Ann Arbor's Blind Pig. What is Love Battery doing on by deviating from the hard drum beats Mike Beidler is a senior in political Seattle's SulrPop records? That's the sri~nce and a staff writer for the Reand driving guitar riffs. Joe Epst~in is lJl~joring in som~t~g VIew. i one-time or present home of such Overall, Dayglo is pretty good driving but we're not ~ what and he's a staff grungecore bands as Mudhoney, Tad, . music. It is tight, aggressive at some points writer for the Review. Babes in Toyland and the "Smells like yet soothing at others, and blends with Teen Spirit" group, whose name I refuse to mention. The Reverend Horton Heat Unlike typical SulrPop, Love BatSmoke 'em If You Got 'em tery and thcir release Dayglo sound a bit · Sub-Pop like the Jesus and Mary Chain with a I have been disillusioned. In the wake dentist's drill. Ron Nine's strained, of the recent Elvis stamp controversy ( I whiner, and sugary vocals are juxtaposed · prefer the older Elvis) and rocking single, to Kevin Whitworth's scraping guitars. It · "Pyschobilly Freakout/' I went out on a strips your teeth clean. JaBOn Finn's dIUfJ\') " limb with the Reverend Horton Heat's and Jim Tillman's bass complete the quarnew album Smoke 'em if Yau Got 'em. tet with a very capable rhythm section Needless to say, I feel very mislead. I which is, unfortunately, kept in check by thought he would be something like the band's overall pop sound. Cajun hardcore, like Black Flag with BBQ The album's first track, "Out of Fosauce. Aside from "Psychobilly," the cus," swirl~ through a neo-psychodelic R~verend sounds like a Stray Cats-Garth trip and a hint of Sonic Youth/ Dinosaur . BJ;poksmutant crossbreed. With Taz Jr. distortion. "See Your Mind" sounds ' Bentley on the drums and Jim Wallace on even more Sonic Youth-esque, but is conthe stand-up bass, the Reverend and Co. tained by a sense of tidy, packaged pop. . '. ~ ar,e trying to make the country / punk In Love Battery's signature shimmery Love Battery is from S~~t.t1e. Expect them to wear long johns underneath cut-Off ., , 9'~s over, like Ice-T did with hard core soundscape, "Cool School ([r;me Of .Th~rt J.~~·t6be Ariih\:liVfduatiZed ,lacks, ~qI~~~~~~)pd big black boots w~'th'Y rU3Y the Pig on ApqVJ.'-: 'i' ", :anp<l"ap. After gOUlg'tiulOugb Smoke ~em, j ;, ' ). ., ' ~ t........ r.. ,:,; :)~ c .... f ". : , ~ a,: • •. • " ._ ,~ ~, . ' ''... ~ , }j~huuld.p-.robably.sti£k. ta.sell'I\QOS. L ________ _______ ______

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April 1, 1992

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Crusty's Corner

Music Review

New Tap Breaks Like the Wind by Brian Jendryks

When Spinal Tap announced that they would be releasing Break Like the Wind, there were many questions. Could it compare to their previous Smell the Glove? Had Tap sold out by putting out another album? Is Boston a college town? Hell, I don't know the answers to these questions, but should that keep one from reviewing an album? After seeing the title of the first song, "Bitch School," it would appear that Tap has succumbed to the sexist mentality of our patriarchal society. The listener is relieved to learn at the end, however, that the group was just talking about a female dog as the lyrics indicate: "When I'm busy, you want to dance with my leg," and "You're so fetching when you're down on all fours." One thing that distinguishes Break Like the Wind from Smell the Glove is guest appearances by current rock and roll &lars. "Diva Fever" is a Metallica-esque song showcasing Dweezil Zappa on guitar. Cher is her usual whiny self on the sappy "Just Begin Again" duet with Tap lead singer David St. Hubbins.

The title track, Break Like the Wind, is a deep look at life a la "Rock and Roll Creation," featuring the guitar-work of Slash, Steve Lukather, Joe Satriani, Jeff Beck, and, of course, Nigel Tufnel on the crucial"middle solo." Both "The Majesty of Rock" and "The Sun Never Sweats" are classic Tap reminiscent of "Rock and Roll Creation" and "Stonehenge." First released on the Stonehenge album, "The Sun Never Sweats" is a tribute to the history of colonialism with such profound lyrics as: "Empire. It was here and now it's gone." "Rainy Day Sun" is a drippingly happy tune that hearkens back to "(listen to the) Flower People," and even includes strings, courtesy of the London Panharmonic Orchestra. "Christmas With the Devil" i~~ rocking Christmas tune that coni~ up images of Ozzy Osbourne and KISS: "The elves are dressed with leather / Xod the Angels are in Chains ... There's a demon in my belly / And a gremlin in my brain/ There's someone up the chimney hole/ and Satan is his name." Perhaps the best song on the album

is Nigel Tufnel's lead vocal debut on "Springtime." The song shows much mu~cal inventiveness, as well as some of the album's best vocals: "Smell the roses/ Smell the grass / Old man winter can kiss my ass." "Clam Caravan" is a mystical, ethereal song that also features Nigel on lead vocals (and on Coral Sitar as well). Although the song has nothing to do with clams, it does boast a 46-second fadeout. Perhaps the album's biggest surprise is the rare" All the Way Home," the first song ever recorded by the band's founding members, Tufnel and 51. Hubbins. Beautiful. Raw.Tap. While bettet than the sea of retarded sexuality that was Intravenous de Milo, Break Like tile Wind fails to achieve the "preserved'"moose" quality that made Smell the Glove the euphonic phenomenon it was. And is. Brian Jendryka is a senior in English and economics and editor emeritus of the Review. He can out-kickbox editorat-large John J. 1eff" Miller.

by Crusty Muncher

Live, from York, Pennsylvania is the most worthwhile band on M1V's no Min}Jtes Tour which also features Public Image Ltd., Big Audio Dynamite II, and Blind Melon. The four band bill hits the State Theater on Sunday, April 12. Mental Jewelry, Live's debut LP, was produced by the Talking Heads' Jerry Harrison. Like Fleetwood Mac's classic Rumors album, Jewelry is a diverse collection of tunes, each with its own unique aura. No two songs sound even remotely similar, which as we all know is a rarity by today's standards. Twenty-year old vocalist Ed Kowalczyk sways from a soothing James Taylor to a growly pre-pubescent James Hetfield while he belts out his creative melodies over the 'mature musical backdrop provided by his equally youthf~ band mates. This is one of t!,).ose-eTtorts that should sell a trillion records but probably will not. Live is one of the truly progressive bands on the scene, avoi?ing popular I

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