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I Spy Something Red

How to Cure those Winter Blues

After the Wedding

Tips from Your Marriage Planners

Love Lessons From The Dog An All-Nighter with a Cause

Relay For Life gears up for its thirteenth year in Elkhart

February 2012

Enjoy a Romantic Married Life

Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Niles • Edwardsburg • Middlebury • Plymouth

Congratulations! To the talented November Coloring Winners.

Contributors Publisher & Editor-in-Chief:

Betsy Tavernier EXECUTIVE Editor: Kerri Hagens FAMILY MAGAZINES Advertising Account Manager: Abby Jane Klug FAMILY MAGAZINES Advertising Account Manager: Jessica Marietta LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE TERRITORY Manager: Marcy Blesy Creative Director: Jena Bontrager Fashion Editor: Kathy Friend

Timothy – Age 5p Grace – Age 7 u Brendan – Age 1 2 q

Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D. Distribution Managers: Richard Cox – St. Joseph, Cass & Berrien Counties Wes Bontrager – Elkhart County Joe Dixon – St. Joseph County

Michiana Family Magazines would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Michiana Family Magazines 5230 Beck Drive Suite #3B Elkhart, IN 46516 PH: 574.293.FAM1 (3261) • FX: 574.217.4700 Michiana Family Magazines February 2012 Established in 2006. All rights reserved. Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication.


Read The Family Magazines online each month! Go to and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! Volume 6: Number 2

Home and Garden • Life Organization

If you would like your business and/or service to be included in the next issue, call The FAMILY Magazines at 574.293.FAM1 (3261) to reserve your space. Space is limited.

The FAMILY Magazine is a proud member of PMA

2 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012 Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Magazines LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors.

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The FAMILY Magazine: Live Your Best:

7 Find the Acorn Contest 8 Wanted: Forever Homes 10 Lovely Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day 12 In the News

Charity Spotlight:

20 An All-Nighter with a Cause

Relay for Life gears up for it’s 13th year in Elkhart By Meagan Church

SPECIAL FAMILY FEATURES 26 Enjoy a Romantic Married Life

Kids Book Review:

By Laurie Puhn

Reviewed By Samantha

Date Night in Real Life

13 Comeback

28 Parents Night Out

Book Review:

By Stephanie J. Salisbury

Reviewed by Melissa Hunt

Tips from Your Marriage Planners

13 Lethal

30 After the Wedding

Family Fashion:

By Jamie Lober

14 A Few of My Favorite Things By Kathy Friend

Family Fun:

16 I Spy Something Red

How to Cure those Winter Blues By Evelyn Kirkwood

Frugal Family:

18 Enjoy Homemade Starbucks Seasonal Drinks All Year Long By Amy Allen Clark

32 Love Lessons From The Dog By Stephanie J. Salisbury

34 Losing a Pet

How to Help the Members of Your Family Cope with the Loss of their Best Buddy By Michelle Wegner

36 Some Tips Before Bringing Home Fido and Fluffy By Dr. David Visser

Calendar of Events:

38 Go to for tons of additional family events – updated daily!


MiChild Magazine: Special Parenting Resource Section


58 New to Motherhood? There’s an App for That 60 Slow Cook Your Way to the Table

Story Time:

61 The Phantom Tollbooth Reviewed by Jillian Ciula


62 Safe Sleep for Your Baby

The Latest Recommendations By Dr. Katie Elms

Mommy & Daddy: 64 Color Me Stupid By Jane Suter

Lakeside FAMILY Magazine:

Special Feature Section targeting St. Joseph, Stevensville, Bridgman, New Buffalo and surrounding communities.


44 Threading Together The Memories of Your Life By Aggie Blesy


45 Balloons Over Broadway: The True Story of the Puppeteer of Macy’s Parade Reviewed By Sarah Eisele


46 Don’t Miss The Coastline Children’s Film Festival!


48 Worms, Worms, Worms By Dr. Ed Blesy


50 Six Ways to Let Go of Resentments, Move Past Old Hurts, and Forgive


By Meagan Francis

Ideas and Tips to Help You and Your Child into Diaper-Free Living

54 Go to for tons of additional family events – updated daily!

66 Hooray! The End of Diapers! By Sorah Stein and Shanti Bradley

Play Dates:

68 Fun things to do with your kids this month!


We have it all more at &

St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic School!

Kindergarten Information Night (Fall 2012 Enrollment) February 7 at 7:00 PM Meet the Pastor & Meet the Teachers • Outstanding Academics • Safe Environment • Excellent ISTEP Scores • SMART Board Technology • Before and After School Care • Christian Family Atmosphere • Community Service Activities and Involvement • Specialty Classes: Art, Music, Computer, Physical Education • Extracurricular Activities ranging from Sports, Band, Scouting, Drama & More! • 21st Century Learning Facility Recently Renovated and Expanded St. Thomas the Apostle School is Catholic in character, but open to all faith traditions. Approximately 12% of our current enrollment is non-Catholic. Please call our school office at 574.264.4855 for more information or to schedule a tour. Visit us at or! St. Thomas the Apostle Catholic School 1331 North Main Street • Elkhart, IN 46514


Things We



Oh how I love my pets! I’m one of those crazy pet lovers that will probably perish to my death by trying to save a dog on the bypass! And, that is not necessarily a bad way to go if I’m saving a precious four-legged creature. The pets in our family are absolutely and completely part of the family. They are represented in all birthday and Christmas cards and just seem to make our family complete. Our furry members include three cats named Tommy, Joey and Sammy and a very spunky beagle named Rosie. They truly make me smile every single day, and their unconditional love is a love I don’t want to be without.


Right Now!

1. Loving Spouses 2. Words With Friends 3. Pregnant Belly’s 4. Family Time by the Fireplace 5. Sunshine on Fresh Fallen Snow

This issue has some special touches in it dedicated to our special furry family members. If your family is considering a new pet, please take a look at the pound puppies and kitties that could also complete your family – there are so many without homes these days, and they deserve so much better. Enjoy a wonderful February with your family and those furry family members, too. Betsy & Family

6. Snuggle Time with Pets 7. Volcano’s Pizza – Greg’s Special Rocks! 8. Instagram Photos 9. Unexpected Gifts 10. Freshly Cut & Colored Hair

(Tommy, Joey, Sammy & Rosie, too!)

11. Winter Weddings 12. Homemade Sweater Mittens 13. Warm Snow Boots 14. Matching Hat, Scarf & Gloves Want the "organic"/green version of The FAMILY Magazine each month with bonus articles? Sign up for our Email Newsletter on our website and get your own organic copy delivered to your email inbox each month!

Find the Hidden Acorn... ...that looks like the acorn pictured to the left for your chance to win a $30 Gift Certificate to Sally & Company Hair Designs!

NEW Way to Enter Contest!

Go to: and click on the acorn symbol on the bottom left side of the website’s home page. Fill out a short entry form and tell us on what page you found the acorn, and you will be entered into this issue’s drawing! Contest ends February 25th, 2012.

Check it Out!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY Magazine!


& Dime a S A S S Y magazine special promotion.







divine food

& wine


painting the

town red











Congratulations to Cheri Gearhart of Edwardsburg for being the November Acorn winner! (Page 16). THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


live your best

WANTED: Forever Homes Sometimes, it takes a while to find where you belong in the world. For some of the cats and dogs showcased here, they’ve been at the shelter for a long while and are still waiting to find the family they were destined to be with. And we think it just might be you! You can find and adopt these adorable pets at the Humane Society of Elkhart County.

Yam Yam is an affectionate 6-month-old Shepherd/Lab mix. She has been at the shelter since October. She loves to be with people and would love to know what a real home is like!




Tony Stark was found running at large in October 2011. He is a sweet 6-year-old Jack Russell Terrier mix that likes other dogs, too!




Ski Slope is a sweet, shy, 11-month-old spayed Coonhound mix. She has been waiting for a forever home since May 2011! She likes other dogs and would love to meet you today! 8 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012



Fender is a 1-year, 3-month-old Shepherd/Husky mix. He has been at the shelter since October 2011. He is a large, active dog that also gets along with other dogs!

*Photos by Kristin McKibbin of McKibbin Photography.

Sullivan is a 3-year, 3-month old orange and white tiger cat. He is a large, laid back male who loves to be petted and just hang out with people.

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Ri T ik kki ki T avi

Mr. Snuggles lives up to his name! He is a 6-month-old grey tiger kitten who loves to be held, but loves to play as well. The shelter also has many kittens to choose from.

Rikki Tikki Tavi is a 1-year, 3-month old brown tiger. She has been at the shelter one year waiting for someone to rescue her. Her loves to sit on your lap more than any other spot and will play with toys while she sits with you!

. Mr les g ug Sn



Akira is a 1-year, 9-month old spayed tortoiseshell. She has lived at the shelter for 19 months since June 2010. She would love to know what it is like to be loved!



live your best

Lovely Ways to Celebrate

Valentine’s Day

Who doesn’t love Valentine’s Day? We know, some people grumble about how it’s a manufactured holiday from the card industry. But for us, any excuse to give candy, get gifts, eat out and wear new jewelry is a brilliant idea we can get behind!

If you’re looking for some fun activities, gifts or ideas to celebrate this upcoming Valentine’s Day, look no further!


Jewelry from Ali Oesch

What lady doesn’t love to add a little sparkle to her wardrobe? Check out these Swarovski Crystal drop earrings with sterling silver hooks. The neutral color and simple design gives this piece timeless appeal, and for just $23, too! Or if you’re looking to make a statement, consider this Swarovski necklace, also with sterling silver. It’s18" long and has a bit of edge to it, which we love! Grab this item for $86. To find these pieces and others, visit

Chocolate from The South Bend Chocolate Factory

This should be a no brainer. Where would Valentine’s Day be without chocolate and candy? But why not skip the classic heart box and try something a little out of the ordinary, like a bag of delicious Valentine’s Day pretzels that are covered in red cherry-flavored chocolate. We’re getting hungry just thinking about it! Grab a bag for $8.99. Or if pretzels aren’t your thing, check out these cherry malted milk balls. We love the bright red color, and they’re over 1" in diameter! A 1 pound bag is $10.99. An 8 ounce bag is $5.99. Pick up these and other tasty treats at The South Bend Chocolate Factory, located in downtown South Bend.

A Night with The South Bend Symphony Orchestra

What better way to set the mood than with an entire concert dedicated to romance! Get into the Valentine’s spirit by attending the KeyBank Pops Series II, “Romance at the Symphony” on Saturday, February 11 at 8 PM at the Morris. Broadway meets Hollywood for an evening of song and dance inspired by the 1930s. Maestro Tsung Yeh and the South Bend Symphony Orchestra team up with Broadway veterans Joan Hess and Kirby Ward for this Valentine tradition. For tickets, call the Morris Box office at 574.235.9190 or go to

A Bouquet of Flowers from Camille’s Floral

There’s just something about receiving a fresh bouquet of flowers. But instead of doing the classic rose arrangement this Valentine’s Day, why not purchase something with a little more flair. This bouquet features a few roses with lots of other colors coming from the Stargazer lilies, carnations, daisies and a hot pink butterfly! With a retail price of $40.00, this proves you don’t have to spend $100 on a dozen roses to say “I love you!” Get this beautiful bouquet at Camille’s Floral, 502 Vistula in Bristol. Learn more at

Dinner at Temper Grille

Have you checked out this restaurant yet? If not, this might be the perfect opportunity. It’s an American tapas style restaurant. Try customer favorites like lamb lollipops, lobster mac, stuffed chicken and the temper strip. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, the restaurant has some fantastic deals. On February 13 and 14, Anderson Photography will be there to take a picture of you and your sweetheart, and you’ll receive a complimentary 5x7 photo, all for free! This will take place from 4 PM to the last reservation on both days. You can also enter to win a bottle of Deutz Brut Classic Champagne and a Mini Tres Chic Boudoir session photograph by Beth Anne from Anderson Photography. This contest will start at 4 PM on Friday, February 10 and end at 10 PM on Tuesday, February 14. And to top it all off, they have great deals on Champaign for Valentine’s Day! Temper Grille is located at 1213 E. University Drive in Granger and on the web at



live your best

In the News


the latest

in news

and current events

that matter

to your family

and our community.


Start Every Day with Milk, Start College with a Scholarship

High school seniors who excel in the classroom, on the field and in the community – who start their day off right with nutrient-rich milk – could be eligible to win college scholarship money. The National Milk Mustache “got milk?” Campaign, in partnership with USA TODAY, is calling for entries in the 15th annual Scholar Athlete Milk Mustache of the Year (SAMMY) Award program. The SAMMY Awards recognize 25 outstanding high school senior student athletes who represent excellence in academics, athletics, community service and leadership who make the most of their days by grabbing nutrient-rich milk with breakfast. The scholarship helps educate teens and families on the value of making smart choices – like starting their day with a nutrient rich breakfast, drinking lowfat milk, and maximizing their potential to achieving great things both on and off the sports field. Twenty-five accomplished teens will receive a $7,500 college scholarship, attend an awards ceremony with celebrity guests at Disney World, and be pictured in a special Milk Mustache ad in USA TODAY.

“Students who start every morning with milk truly reap the rewards all day long,” said Vivien Godfrey, chief executive officer of the National Milk Mustache “got milk?” campaign. “That’s why we are excited to reward these students for their successes in academics, athletics and community service. Breakfast with milk helps set the tone for the day and is a healthy habit that provides much needed nutrients.” This year’s winners will be selected by a celebrity panel of Milk Mustache role models, including Dara Torres, Chauncey Billups and other Milk Mustache alumni. To date, the National Milk Mustache “got milk?” Campaign has supported 350 talented high school seniors with nearly $2.5 million in scholarships over the program’s 15 year history. High school seniors who are interested in applying for the 2012 SAMMY Awards program should visit MilkMustache. All applicants are asked to describe in 250 words or less how milk with breakfast helps them reach their fullest potential in academics, athletics, community service and leadership. Entries must be submitted no later than March 9, 2012.

FEBRUARY 2012 Conquer Winter with Complimentary Light Therapy at Memorial

The Memorial Health Discovery Center now offers a light therapy room for the general public, as well as Memorial staff and visitors, who feel the emotional effects that come with cloudy, lowlight winter days. The Sunlight Feel Better Center is available by appointment, at no charge, November 2011 through the end of March 2012. Participants can schedule a 25-minute session for themselves, or sign up with a partner (limit of two people per session). The room includes light therapy units, summertime visuals and soothing beach sounds. There are no UV rays connected with the light units. The room is open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Call 574.647.1801 for an appointment. Walk-ins are possible if the room is open. The Memorial Health Discovery Center is located in suite 6670 of 100 Navarre Place in downtown South Bend.

live your best

Lethal By Sandra Brown Review Submitted by Melissa Hunt Reference Coordinator Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Honor is making cupcakes for her father-in-law’s birthday party while her daughter, Emily, is waiting to lick the empty icing bowl; that’s when their world is changed forever. A stranger has appeared in her yard, and he will take over Honor’s life. Lee Coburn has been accused of a mass murder and is now running from the law. He came to Honor’s house because he believes her dead husband hid a clue to solve the mess he is embroiled in. What clue and where the clue is are questions that need to be answered. Honor’s husband, Eddie, was a police officer before his death, and Coburn calls into question Eddie’s honor by asking if Eddie was a corrupt cop or a good one. Coburn takes over Honor’s house in his search for the clue, but is stymied by 4-year-old Emily, who appears unafraid of him. When Coburn and Honor take Emily on an “adventure” to search for the clue, all their lives are placed in danger as no one knows who to trust. With corruption in the police force and the ongoing manhunt for Coburn, the search for the clue is becoming deadly. Was Eddie a corrupt cop or was he investigating the bad men who then killed him? Can Coburn and Honor decide who to trust? Will Coburn and Honor find the clue that will set them free? If you like a good suspense story, checkout “Lethal” by Sandra Brown. And if you are a Sandra Brown enthusiast, try reading novels by these authors as well: Iris Johansen, Linda Howard, Elizabeth Lowell and Catherine Coulter.

Comeback By Vicki Grant Reviewed by Samantha “Comeback,” written by Vicki Grant, was a very inspiring book to me. The book was about a teenage girl, Ria Patterson, dealing with family issues. She had to cope with issues such as her parents getting a divorce as well as her dad being in a plane that crashed. Everyone thought Ria’s father died, but the truth is he never did. Steve Patterson, Ria’s father, was suspected of scamming people for money so he could be “rich,” but he finally couldn’t take it anymore and lied about dying in the plane crash. Because of the stress, later in the book, Ria and her younger brother, Elliot, run away. One day when they were on the run, she checked her phone and discovered dad had called. She thought it was a miracle. But there are consequences to her father’s actions. To find out more, read the book. “Comeback” is a very good book, and I highly recommend it.

I am an 8th grader and enjoy playing soccer and the flute. I am also in Science Olympiad.



family fashion

A few of My Favorite Things

By Kathy Friend

The past few Februarys, I’ve decided to share a few of my favorite things. When I find something that works, I like to tell the world about it. Too bad none of the brands or stores whose praises I sing have decided to compensate me for being a spokesperson (sigh), or offer to give you all a supply of these little gems (kinda like Oprah), but alas, I do still love their products! Without further ado, I present the 2012 list of things I love!

Osmotics Eye Cream

I have used this eye cream for a long time. A year or so ago I got the idea that I was going to save money and decided to cut this eye cream out of my budget. Big mistake! I suddenly felt like I looked 10 years older, and any makeup I tried to cover up the tiredness and wrinkles only made it worse. Within 24 hours of reintroducing this regime back into my routine, I saw a difference. I can’t live without Blue Copper Eye Cream or the Eye Surgery Eye Rejuvenator. Purchase online from

My Time

I realize this isn’t really a “thing,” but it is something I’ve recently learned I can’t live without; I need “my time”: time to decompress, to think, to sort things out, to refocus and regain energy to be the best mom, wife and friend I know how to be. For a while, I tried to ignore my “inner self ” which was nagging me to take a break. During that time, I found that my 14 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

daughter was suggesting I have more coffee because “Mom is grumpy.” Bad Mom! Don’t feel guilty about needing a little “me time.” You will be glad you took it, and I promise your family will be, too!

PJ Salvage Pajamas

On these cold winter nights, I insist on flannel PJ Salvage pajamas. Initially, these luxury jammies were just that – a luxury.

Now I cannot imagine a night without them! Some of the things I love about these are the adorable prints, bright colors and the fact you can get matching tanks and tees. On the practical side, they last forever! I have some PJ Salvage jammies that I have had for years (so many years, I’m not exactly sure how long!). They make a great Valentine’s Day gift for someone, or for yourself! Find locally at Poodles Boutique in Elkhart.

Long Sleeve Half Zip Hoodie

Long Sleeve Crew

Cuddl Duds (above)



Funny story: I posted on Facebook that I was grateful for my Cuddl Extraordinary That Moves You. Duds one cold, Warmth 20-degree morning, and youWith wouldn’t believe how many people thought I our was Fleecewear looking for a “cuddle Cuddl Made with spandex, With buddy.” Stretch hugs your body to move with you and keep you extra Dudson aresuper-cold simply really nice long underwear. On these freezing cold warm days. days when I am in and out of the car, I wouldn’t dream of leaving the house without my Cuddl Duds camis and tees. Not only do they keep Our Warmest Layering Option. you warm outside, but they keep you comfy inside, too. Available Fleecewear WithSports Stretch is the ideal layering option to keep you moving while putting the weather in its locally at Outpost or place. Look extra cool and stay extra warm while taking the chill out of the frostiest of winter days.

Priori Skin Care

My skin has “issues.” I’m not sure what to say about it other than © 2011I Atold Komar brandShea | Confidential that. When myLayering friend Tara about this, she suggested I try Priori skin care. It’s a miracle! The Skin Perfecting Gel is something my skin has been craving for a long time. No longer do I need to douse my cheeks with creams at night and load up on a ton of potions to keep breakouts away. Available locally at H2O Skin or online at

Brands I Adore

There are several brands that I love, primarily because I keep seeing them pop up at some of my favorite consignment shops! CAbi: I’ve been a huge fan of the CAbi brand for nearly nine years.

Consistent sizing, amazing fit and a plethora of compliments is what keeps me going back for more!

Field Flower Sweaters: Typically found at Anthropoligie, I have

picked up a few of these unique and adorable sweaters at Clothes Mentor in Mishawaka!

Designer Jeans: I am constantly searching for the perfect jean. I

will admit I am a bit of a denim snob; I really like (and appreciate) premium denim such as Cartise, Seven 7, David Kahn, True Religion, and Hudson. And get this, all of my recent purchases I’ve been able to score at places like Carmel Consignment and local Goodwill stores!


Trend Forecast • The Poppy and Geranium colors are back with a vengeance! We can’t seem to get enough of the orange and red hues with pink undertones. Alongside those colors, we will see a variety of blues as a neutral, everything from ink-blue to Tiffany-blue. The theme for colors this season will be “not so much.” The whites will be not-so white, the darks will be not-so dark, and the midtones will be muted hues of not-so-bright brights. • We will notice clean, simple lines with lots of color in the styles. This season’s styles will be textile driven, and we will see a variety of fabrications done in our favorite silhouettes. • Key tip to look “on-trend” is to stop wearing black and wear white.

Muse (and Anthracite by Muse): I seem to find the cutest jackets

and dresses from this designer brand. This is a Nordstrom brand.

Ryu: These are adorable, uber feminine dresses and tops. I find Ryu

locally at several boutiques, but the brand can also be found online at I’ve even seen some cute pieces at Von Maur!

Kathy Friend is a fashion expert, image consultant, speaker and writer. She is a regular on the WFRN Morning Show and on WSBT-TV. She is also the fashion expert for Goodwill stores. She is joyfully married to Marty, and a mom to one little fashionista in training. THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


family fun

I Spy Something RED How to Cure those Winter Blues By Evelyn Kirkwood

Outside my kitchen window, baubles of red and orange hang among the gray and brown branches. The Cardinals are here. The bright crimson males and the softer-toned females are pairing now prior to the mating season. They are plentiful at my back yard feeders in February. Now and again, as many as fifteen visit at a time, waiting turns at the flat feeder. Against the grays and whites of a winter past its prime, I welcome the color. To entice them to return frequently, I load my feeders with striped and black oil sunflower seeds, which they eagerly munch. Across the water channel in the scrubby woods behind my house, the shocking red stems of red osier dogwood, also known as red twig dogwood, etch the understory. The transformation has been subtle but steady since fall when the shrubby growth was rusty brown. Now the twigs are raspberry red. Juncos, sporting 16 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

slate and white feathers, make a pleasing picture as they forage beneath the red osiers. To bring the winter cheer closer, I planted red osier dogwood in my side yard. Many landscape nurseries carry this attractive native shrub. And here and there in the wilder spots near my house, rose hips, tiny red berry-like fruits create rosy accents in the landscape. These fruits of the thorny multiflora rose bushes are packed with vitamin C. The sweet outer pulp makes a tasty snack as I take a winter stroll. Getting exercise is my number one trick for curing winter blues. A walk with kids, even if just through the neighborhood to play a game of “I Spy,� can be a great way to spend 30 minutes on a weekend. For the more adventurous, find a trail where the

“I Spy” color game can bring surprising results. A 10-minute walk in bright sunshine elevates your endorphin levels and your mood.


Try the Riverside or East Race Trails in South Bend, the Pumpkinvine Trail in Goshen/Middlebury, the River Walks in Mishawaka and Elkhart, or Riverfront Park in Niles. February 2nd marks the halfway point of winter, and many of us have tired of snow and cold. But cheerful signs are all around us if we look!

Here are a few more tips for breaking out of the winter blues:

• Celebrate your winter-smile moments in a February journal, or scribble them on the kitchen dry erase board. How about the laughter of your kids building a snowman, the aroma of baking cookies, the fun of sledding or a warm visit with grandma? • Do you feel as if the cold goes right to your bones? Try a sauna or a warm bath with candles. • Fake summer! Try a “cookout” supper with hot dogs and s’mores. Set the table with a beach blanket for a table cloth. • Take a class; make a craft. Occupying your time with new challenges, or finding time to have a family craft hour, brings a welcome change of pace. • Listen and learn bird songs. Some scientists in Europe think that when humans listen to bird songs, it cheers them up. Perhaps because it is the sound of spring? Try this website to learn some songs of common birds:

Evelyn Kirkwood is Director of St. Joseph County Parks in Indiana and host of Outdoor Elements, which is broadcasted Sundays at 9am and Wednesdays at 5:30 pm on WNIT Public Television.

Ride with the Keepers OF

the Cowboy Way America’s favorite cowboys, Riders in the Sky (“Woody’s Roundup”) are riding into town for some rootin’-tootin’ family fun. It’s an all-ages show of 10-gallon hat comedy and classic Western music. Yodel along! Tickets from $8-$30 on sale now at and 631.2800.


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family frugal

Enjoy Homemade Starbucks Seasonal Drinks All Year Long By Amy Allen Clark

Am I the only one who gets frustrated that just when I begin to get hooked on a fun drink at Starbucks, it mysteriously is removed from the menu? I think Salted Caramel Mochas and Gingerbread Lattes should be available all year long for enjoying, no matter what the season in life. Of course, my wallet would beg to differ, and that is why, this year, I have been sipping and experimenting away in the kitchen to find great replica knock-off drinks to sooth my seasonal cravings and save myself some cash in the process. One of the best investments I have made in my kitchen is a French press for making my own individual Starbucks treats. These are available for less than $20 and can be found online or at many superstores. It is easy to make coffee for one or two in these, but you can also use an espresso maker (if you have one) or just brew a batch of double strength coffee in your drip pot coffeemaker. Coffee making is hard work, but has been worth the sacrifice to create all of this tasty goodness from the comfort of my own home. Save your $4 and make these little treats whenever you want. Just take my advice and try to do it in moderation. There is nothing worse than the coffee shakes all day long, and I can tell you this from experience after spending many days testing all of these great recipes!

My new favorite drink at Starbucks is their Salted Caramel Mocha Latte. One sip of this delicious goodness had me daydreaming about how I could replicate it at home. Coffee drinking is, after all, one of my favorite hobbies, but a girl has to do it on a budget. A DIY version of this Salted Caramel Mocha Latte was definitely in order! I hope you will love these as much as I do! Salted Caramel Mocha Latte 1 cup milk, steamed 1 cup very strong coffee (4 tablespoons coffee grounds to 1 cup of hot water, prepared in a French Press) 1 tablespoon cocoa powder 2 tablespoons of sugar 18 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

2 tablespoons caramel coffee syrup (I bought mine at our local superstore in the coffee aisle, or you can pick them up at your wholesale club for cheap. I accidentally bought sugar-free, and it worked like a charm. Feel free to use either variety and adjust to your taste) Whipped cream Caramel Sauce 1/8 teaspoon sea salt or kosher salt

Prepare your hot water in a kettle. Add 4 tablespoons of your favorite coffee grounds to your French press. Pour 1 cup of hot water over them and allow the coffee to steep for four minutes while you prepare the other ingredients. In a pot, heat up 1 cup of milk until it is steaming. Froth the milk with a wire whisk or an immersion blender until it is nice and foamy. In your coffee cup, mix together the prepared coffee, cocoa powder, sugar and caramel coffee syrup until the sugar and cocoa powder are dissolved and there are no lumps. Pour the milk foam over the top of the coffee/mocha mixture and stir to incorporate. Top with whipped cream, a generous drizzle of caramel sauce and your pinch of salt.

This drink tastes like gingerbread, and the gingerbread syrup that you create for your latte is filled with ginger, molasses and cinnamon. I found that if I mixed the latte together with the syrup and let it sit for a minute or two and then stirred it again, the flavors came together more fully than if I drank it right away, as the spices seemed to blend in better. Homemade Gingerbread Latte 1 cup milk, steamed 1 cup very strong coffee (4 tablespoons coffee grounds to 1 cup of hot water. I prepared this in my French Press, but you can brew a strong drip pot if you prefer) 1 tablespoon white sugar (can omit if you prefer a drink that is less sweet) 1 tablespoon gingerbread syrup (you can use the recipe provided below) Whipped cream (optional) Ground Cloves (sprinkled for topping, optional) or Festive Sprinkles (sprinkled for topping. These just aren’t optional)

Prepare your hot water in a kettle. Add 4 tablespoons of your favorite coffee grounds to your French press. Pour 1 cup of hot water over them and allow the coffee to steep for four minutes while you prepare the other ingredients. In a pot, heat up 1 cup of milk until it is steaming. Froth the milk with a wire whisk or an immersion blender until it is nice and foamy. In your coffee cup, add your coffee syrup and white sugar. Pour your coffee over the gingerbread syrup and sugar and then stir well with a spoon until the gingerbread syrup dissolves and the spices are incorporated well. Pour the milk foam over the top of the coffee/ mocha mixture and stir again to incorporate. Allow it to marry together for a minute or two and then mix once more. Top with whipped cream and festive sprinkles or a dusting of ground cloves.

1 tablespoon cocoa powder 2 tablespoons of sugar 2-3 tablespoons peppermint syrup (you can use my recipe below or ask behind the counter at Starbucks for a prepared bottle) Whipped cream (optional) Chocolate syrup (optional) Crushed Peppermints (optional)

Prepare your hot water in a kettle. Add 4 tablespoons of your favorite coffee grounds to your French press. Pour 1 cup of hot water over them and allow the coffee to steep for four minutes while you prepare the other ingredients. In a pot, heat up 1 cup of milk until it is steaming. Froth the milk with a wire whisk or an immersion blender until it is nice and foamy. In your coffee cup, mix together the prepared coffee, cocoa powder, sugar and peppermint coffee syrup until the sugar and cocoa powder are dissolved and there are no lumps. Pour the milk foam over the top of the coffee/mocha mixture and stir to incorporate. Top with whipped cream, a generous drizzle of chocolate syrup and crushed peppermints.

This Gingerbread Syrup is thicker than traditional simple syrup, so this can be stored in a jar rather than a pour spout container. The molasses combined with the brown sugar, ginger and cinnamon make it a rich and decadent treat to add to your latte. Homemade Gingerbread Coffee Syrup 1/2 cup molasses 1/4 cup brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon ground ginger 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Simple syrups are easy to create. It is just a matter of dissolving sugar into water, reducing it a bit, and then adding your flavoring of choice for your favorite beverages. Once you get this technique down, you can create a variety of coffee drinks and cocktails for any season!

In a jar, mix together your molasses, brown sugar, baking soda, ground ginger and ground cinnamon until well incorporated. You can store this mixture in a jar in the refrigerator for two to three weeks.

Homemade Peppermint Syrup 1 cup sugar 1 cup water 2 teaspoons peppermint extract

In a small saucepan, bring sugar and water to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and stir constantly until sugar is dissolved. Stir in the peppermint extract. Cool to room temperature and store in a glass jar in the refrigerator for up to three months.

Homemade Peppermint Mocha 1 cup milk, steamed 1 cup very strong coffee (4 tablespoons coffee grounds to 1 cup of hot water. I prepared this in my French press, but you can brew in a strong drip pot if you prefer)

Amy Allen Clark: Foodie. Bookworm. Novice photographer. Java junkie. Knitter & hot glue gun toting extraordinaire. A lover of the simple and family-centered life. Happily living this contented existence within a penny-wise budget and showcasing it on THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


family charity spotlight

An All-Nighter with a Cause

Relay for Life gears up for its 13th year in Elkhart

By Meagan Church

When was the last time you pulled an all-nighter? Probably not since your teens or early twenties. But every year, one group gives you the opportunity to gather with friends for a full 24-hours. The best part is that the cause behind the all-nighter is much bigger than cramming for finals. And, it’s a lot more fun. It’s the annual Relay For Life event that raises funds for cancer research.

cell transplant from a donor to stem cells from my own body,” she explained.

“It’s a 24-hour party for hope,” said Ginger Darwin, a cancer survivor and frequent participant over the last two decades at the American Cancer Society Relay For Life of Elkhart County. “The DJ is pumping music all night, people are walking on the track and activities are going on. There is emotion behind it, but it’s fun. It’s basically celebrating the victory of the money that has been raised.”

“There are over five thousand Relay For Life events held each year in 19 different countries, and these events raise 80 percent of all cancer research funds,” said Theresa Burger, vice-chair of Elkhart’s Relay For Life. “The type of cancer I was diagnosed with had a 30 percent survival rate in 1962. Today it is 70 percent, all due to the continuing research that is being done.”

Darwin was first diagnosed with cancer nearly 22 years ago. Since then she has battled the disease seven different times, having had three different types of cancer throughout the years. During that time, she has seen the results of cancer research that events like Relay For Life help fund. “I saw research in action. It went from a bone marrow transplant from a donor to a stem 20 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

The first Relay For Life event took place in 1986. Since then, millions of people have participated around the world. This year, Elkhart is celebrating its 13th year of taking part in the event.

How does it work?

On February 2, 2012, the Elkhart Relay For Life will kick-off this year’s fundraiser. The relay will take place June 16 to 17 at Concord High School. Participants raise funds ahead of time and build teams who work together over the 24-hours of the relay, ensuring that at least one person from the team is walking on the track at all times. The others are welcome to camp out,

make new friends and have fun as they wait their turn to walk. The event begins at night; as Darwin explained, it symbolizes “the dark night of diagnosis and treatment.” The first lap around the track is a time for cancer survivors to walk a victory lap. “It’s reunion time. Sometimes we see people we don’t see at any other time,” said Darwin. “It’s an annual thing that we get together. It’s really exciting, but emotional. We are celebrating because we are all still here.” During the second lap, caregivers and family members are encouraged to walk alongside the survivors.

Who is invited?

While family, friends and caregivers are encouraged to participate, everybody is welcome to join the relay. As Burger said, “Everyone knows someone who has cancer whether it is a relative, friend or neighbor. Sometimes we don’t know what to do or say. I feel by participating in Relay For Life, we are doing and saying something very important. We are spreading the word that this dreaded disease must be eradicated.” Darwin was first diagnosed months after her first grandchild was born. “He probably did as much for my healing as anything because I wanted to see that little guy grow up.” When he was three, he walked with Darwin during Relay For Life. They have walked beside each other during nearly every relay since then.

Why is it so important?

“When I was told I had cancer, there really are no words to express how I felt,” Burger said. “I do remember it actually took my breath away. I felt numb, scared, worried and overwhelmed. At first, I didn’t even want to share this news with anyone, not even my children because I’ve always been an independent woman, but I quickly realized I both wanted and needed support from my loved ones.” Relay For Life is one way to support everyone who is battling cancer. Juliana Newbill, American Cancer Society community representative, explained, “There is alarming news in the fight against cancer. This year, cancer is poised to take over as the number one killer of Americans, surpassing heart disease. The good news is that nearly half of all cancer deaths are preventable, and that events like Relay For Life not only educate people on what they can do to reduce their cancer risk, but also raise funds that lead to better treatment and more lives saved. Everything we do at Relay For Life contributes to reducing cancer mortality and incidences. Whether it is raising dollars that support free patient services and research or volunteering to commit to advocacy and education efforts – we’re all a part of the fight.” In the end, Burger explained why this all-nighter is worth the lack of sleep and fatigue that may result: “It is crazy and exhausting, but it’s a wonderful crazy and exhausting experience!” Meagan Church is a writer and mother of 2.5 kids. Her current projects include DefiningMotherhood, and Unexpectant where she explores the realities of modern motherhood for her book project.

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People like to talk about what you lose with bariatric surgery, which is of course the weight. But no one ever talks about what they gain, which is life. If you’ve had trouble losing weight and think bariatric surgery is right for you, we encourage you to learn more about the Elkhart General Hospital Bariatric & Metabolic Institute. It’s the only program in the region with surgeons who are fellowship trained in bariatric surgery.

To learn more about our free bariatric seminars, call 574.523.3264.

The Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center 900 W. Western Avenue South Bend, Indiana 46601

Hey Kids!

NAME: _________________________________________ AGE: ______ ADDRESS: __________________________________________________ CITY: ___________________________ STATE: ______ ZIP: _________ Color this page and 3 coloring winners will each receive a $25 DAY TIME PHONE: __________________________________________ gift certificate towards a camp, clinic or league at The Kroc! One winner will be selected from each of the three following PARENT’S NAME: ___________________________________________ age categories: 3-5, 6-9 and 10-12 years of age. E-MAIL: ____________________________________________________

For your chance to WIN, color your best picture and mail or drop entries to: The Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center • 900 W. Western Avenue • South Bend, Indiana 46601. -- Coloring contest is open to children 12 years and under, and entries must be mailed or dropped by March 2nd. Winners will be notified via phone or email service by The Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center by March 12th, and their artwork will be featured in an upcoming issue along with their first name, age and city. For additional coloring contest entries, this coloring page may be photocopied and printed off.

The Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center 900 W. Western Avenue South Bend, Indiana 46601






Have Fun! Swim Fitness Active Birthday Sports Camps Healthy 24 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012











Find the words below in the The Salvation Army Ray & Joan Kroc Corps Community Center Crossword puzzle. Words can be forwards, backwards, diagonal, vertical or horizontal.

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family features

Love and Marriage

Enjoy a

Romantic Married Life

By Laurie Puhn

Where did the romance go? If you’re like most couples, including my clients and myself, you get home from a planned date night feeling wonderfully upbeat. The next night you can barely remember where you went or what you ate.

type of romance readily happens during the dating period; the second type requires greater awareness and effort if you and your spouse want keep your romantic attraction alive for the long run.

Sporadic attempts at romance are just that – temporary and easily forgotten. From date night to a Valentine’s Day weekend getaway, each has tremendous value, while we’re doing it. But when we return home to our predictable routine of working and caring for our children, those special one-on-one moments with our honey quickly fade.

The things we say and do, and don’t say or do, can spark or block a loving connection. Our daily word choices become what I call a couple’s “daily communication routine,” as described in “Fight Less, Love More.” Hard-pressed for quality time with our partners and spouses, it's easy to fall victim to a poor communication routine. To stop this from happening, today I ask you to pay attention to your established communication routine. Then, if needed, include these loving comments in your conversations with your honey. Ask your spouse to do the same, and the results will astound you.

Does this mean that a marriage with children is in trouble if the couple doesn’t have those heart-throbbing romantic highs once shared in the dating phase? Absolutely not. When kids are in the mix, married couples should expect a more tempered, but certainly visible, daily romantic connection. There are two kinds of romance, the one that spontaneously happens to you because of a special setting, like watching a sunset over the beach, or gazing at each other through a candlelit dinner with soft music in the background, and the one you make happen anywhere, by consciously choosing to say the right words at the right time to your mate. The first


First, let’s put our mate first, every day. When one of you walks in the door, immediately greet each other (not the little kids or your computer first). Or, if you see your kids first, greet them, but don’t stop there. Find your spouse. A gentle touch on the shoulder with a simple “hello, how was your day?” warms up the night. If you’re on the phone when your mate gets home, end the conversation. Yes, your spouse’s arrival takes priority over others.

Second, say “good morning,” and “good night” to each other every day. These statements bring to mind that it is a good day or night because you are together and with your special someone. Not surprisingly, in our online research we found that 25% of couples don’t consistently say goodnight to each other, and of those, 70% had thought about breaking up in the prior year.

Finally, show love by highlighting your mate’s positive character traits. Pick one out every day, and if

you think that’s hard, simply look for the little things. Make comments like, “I love you for (fill-in-the-blank).” As an example, one day I told my husband, “I love you for leaving a new tube of toothpaste on the bathroom sink for me to use. That was really kind.” And one of my favorite compliments (which my husband knows) is to hear him say some variety of “You are such a good mother because you have so much patience with the kids.” Interestingly, in our research, when we asked people whether they’d prefer their mate compliment them for being goodlooking (a visual compliment) or kind (a character compliment), 84 percent answered “kind.”

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A positive daily communication routine is the way to keep love alive, when you don’t have time for a vacation or a handin-hand sunset walk in the park. For romance to thrive during child-rearing years, you have to choose it, or lose it.

Ferrettie-Baugo Creek & St. Patrick’s County Parks Weekends, 11am to 5pm snow permitting (not recommended for ages 3 and under)

Cross-Country Trails & Rental St. Patrick’s County Park Wed-Sun, 11am to 4pm snow permitting Laurie Puhn is a Harvardeducated lawyer, couples mediator, relationship expert, and bestselling author of “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In,” who appears on Good Morning America, 20/20, Fox News and CNN. Most importantly, she is a wife and mother to two young children. Visit her interactive site at Your Place for Outdoor Family Fun!




family features

Love and Marriage

Parents Out on the Town

Date Night in Real Life

By Stephanie J. Salisbury

Just surviving the day can sometimes become a major challenge. Wake up to a crying toddler sitting in a pool of skim milk and FruityOs, quick-change out of your PJs into some semblance of “outside” clothes, drop your preteen off at school, the little one at daycare, work nine hours – when you get back home, the last thing you want to do is leave the house again. You throw together a meal, do a load of laundry, get back into the comfy PJs, and try not to murder any of your family members for getting on your nerves while you’re attempting to rest up to tackle it all again the next day. Sound familiar? There’s a pervasive lack of intimacy and reconnection with our spouses that becomes more detrimental each day, not just to our own relationships, but to our children. The tension from all of this day-to-day chaos builds up, and we take it out on one another. We say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment, we give each other the cold shoulder for the smallest infraction, and we’re so caught up in the kids’ schedules and extracurricular activities that we rarely make time for what could perhaps be the salvation of our marriages and the emotional well-being of our children: Date Night. There is no set protocol when it comes to how often we take this time for ourselves, or what we do during our adventures, but the importance we place on taking time to reconnect with our spouses could potentially improve every other aspect of our lives. As difficult as we might find it to leave smaller children with a sitter for the 28 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

first time, or to find four hours in a row on a weekend that we can dedicate to our significant other, we need to make it a priority. “A strong marital relationship is important for several reasons,” says Amberly Nichols, LCSW and clinical therapist. “Children are little sponges. They are learning everything it means to be in a romantic relationship from watching you. If you are in a constant state of conflict and tension with your partner, they learn that that is what a relationship is all about. If you go out of your way to show respect and affection for your partner, they see that, too. But it doesn’t just affect their view of relationships. If you and your partner aren’t happy, they aren’t either. Children are reactive and don’t have the emotional capacity to separate themselves emotionally from what’s happening at home. Unhappy parents equal unhappy children. Anything you can do to build intimacy and contentment in your relationship will ultimately benefit your child. Date night is a great way to do that. Not only are you getting out, blowing off steam and reconnecting with each other, but you are also modeling for your children that it’s important to make time for your partner and make that person a priority.” Nichols also relates what she calls the “nerve-wracking experience” of leaving your small children with a sitter for the first time and has some tips for parents who are wary. “Find out if your sitter is willing to come over and spend a little time with the family a few times before you leave them with that

person. That way, the sitter is familiar with the vibe and routine of your family. This also gives you and your kids a chance to see how this person jives with you. Make sure that you have expectations clearly spelled out (even written out) ahead of time. What is bedtime? What are your TV/ computer/gaming system rules? Do you expect the house to be picked up before you come back? Is the sitter welcome to the food in your house? Can he/she talk on the phone? “Make sure that the sitter understands and agrees to your expectations ahead of time, so there won’t be any nasty surprise that will leave you both frustrated and disappointed. Also, make sure that you and the sitter are reachable at all times. The first time you leave might be more about testing out your comfort level than really “dating,” but it will be worth it once that trust is built, and you know you don’t have to call 50 million times!” Date night isn’t about attempting to recreate some nostalgic version of your premarried selves. It’s about growing together as a couple. There is always something to learn about your spouse, even if it’s a new idea they’re implementing at work, a new restaurant they want to try, or something they read in the paper that morning. We all know the bubbly, exciting, heart-beating moments of the first few dates don’t tend to continue forever in any relationship, but loving each other one day at a time is just as important, if not more, than the thrilling honeymoon phase. Dinner and a movie, or some indoor mini-golf, bowling, pool and video games, or anything the two of you might enjoy doing for a few hours, is enough to rejuvenate you, your marriage and your capacity to handle whatever the world throws at you in the coming week. As for the benefits of your healthy marital relationship on your children, Nichols reminds us, “You can’t give what you don’t have. If you aren’t feeling fulfilled and peaceful, you can’t instill that in others.” Stephanie J. Salisbury is a graduate of the University of Michigan. She lives in Middlebury with her husband Stephen, and their kids Zachary, Michael, and Aria. Stephanie works at the Daily Grind in downtown Elkhart, and has written a novel, a non-fiction Christian self-help book and a collection of short stories and poetry.

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family features

Love and Marriage

After the Wedding Tips from Your Marriage Planners

By Jamie Lober


Photo courtesy of J.R. Fox Jewelers

ood things do not come without a little work – and marriage is no exception to the rule. If you’re a new bride just coming off the rollercoaster of wedding planning, you might think the toughest part is behind you. But to develop a long-lasting marriage that lives up to your fairy tale wedding, you’ll need to put as much, if not more, planning into what comes after the “I do’s.” For your wedding, you likely had a wedding-planning team to support you: a planner, florist, caterer, not to mention your mother and soon-to-be mother-in-law offering their advice! Here, we’ve also assembled a team of experts to help you in your marriage planning, including local marriage therapists and a retired pastor who has been happily married now for 60 years. Here are some of their best thoughts on how to survive and thrive in those first few years as a married couple.

Maintain Some Independence

Communicate with Consideration

“Have a way of delegating authority as to who does what, who pays for what and where the money goes right up front so everybody is on the same page,” says Dr. David F. Sonego, psychiatrist with Dr. David F. Sonego & Associates in Mishawaka. Often newlyweds do not know where to begin, and one person winds up spending money while the other does not know where the money went, naturally causing problems to arise.

To help foster healthy communication, some newlyweds may want to hold a marriage meeting each week. “The agenda is what you appreciate about each other and anything you want to address in terms of change in the relationship and the meaning about each of those things to you,” explains Dr. Petersen.

Some issues that you used to handle on your own may stay that way, but newlyweds must also come together and decide how they will handle situations as a couple. Finances are just one example of a topic that can be troublesome for couples starting off.

Talk it Out

Do not build inner turmoil. “Be honest about your feelings, and do not let anything fester into a catastrophic situation,” says Dr. Sonego. In other words, if you have a complaint, express it. Partners are not always mind readers. “If you have objections about where one puts the toothpaste and toothbrush, be open and candid about it,” Dr. Sonego suggests. John Petersen, PsyD, owner of Family Psychology of South Bend also reminds couples to make sure both of you are on the same wavelength about extended family and other issues. “Make decisions about how you do holidays, what the relationship is with extended family, family traditions and what relationship you hope your spouse to have with your family,” Dr. Petersen says. 30 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Dr. Petersen explains that the key to communication when you are in conflict is to stay away from what Dr. John Gottman, a well-recognized marriage expert, refers to as the four horsemen; Dr. Petersen says, “If you avoid criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt, you are in good shape.”

Reduce Stress and Set Boundaries

Life’s stress can cause strain on a marriage, so do your best to find strategies to deal with stress. Kathy Blumentritt, marriage and family therapist in Mishawaka, suggests the following: “Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can reduce stress, so if your spouse does not exercise, eat well, isolates himself or does not have hobbies or downtime, when an issue comes up, he is less likely to handle it well.” One way to reduce emotional conflict and stress is to set up boundaries early on in your marriage. Blumentritt notes the importance of setting boundaries, which means that parts of your relationship should only stay between the two of you. “Sometimes people share things with people, when they should be doing that with their spouse,” she says.

Learn to Say, and Mean, “I’m Sorry”

Bob Hueni, a retired pastor who has been happily married now

for 60 years, emphasizes the importance of forgiveness: “You need to forgive and ask for forgiveness because if you do not forgive one another when there are offenses, it tends toward bitterness and anger.” This means recognizing if you are at fault. “You need to be willing to own up to your own problems and offenses, say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness,” Hueni says.

Couples Who Pray Together Stay Together

For Hueni, this has proven true as his relationship with God has brought him closer to his wife and has helped him find real peace and harmony in his marriage. “Read the bible and pray together because the closer you come to God, the closer you come to each other,” says Hueni. Hueni also discusses the special, sacred bonds of marriage, and reminds couples to pay attention to the needs of their spouse and not allow for other options when times become difficult: “Never talk about divorce and never give undue attention to someone of the opposite sex because your vow that ‘til death do you part means just that.”

and the giving of yourself for the good of your mate, but it is worth it.”

Make Your Relationship a Priority

Something as simple as spending time together can show that you value your marriage. Hueni says, “Grow and love every day, even if it means scheduling time with your wife because she is busy doing other things, because if you are not careful, a gap will develop.” There is a learning curve for everyone, but truly commit yourself to staying true to your marriage for the long haul. Dr. Sonego notes, “People who are successful long-term in relationships elevate the importance of the relationship very high on the list of important things in their life, whereas people that have trouble in relationships do not focus on them or tend to them enough.” So from all your marriage planners, remember to make your mate a priority, practice forgiveness and communicate, and you’ll be on your way to living happily ever after.

Remember that nobody said marriage, especially in the first few years, was easy. Hueni reminds us, “It takes hard work, time

Jamie Lober, author of Pink Power, is dedicated to providing information on women’s and pediatric health topics. Her special interests include obstetrics and gynecology and sports medicine. Lober enjoys swimming, playing the piano and watching her favorite football teams in her free time.


Michele Whitt, M.D. Mark Meekhof, Ed Durbin and Virna Evangelista in the Obstetrics/Gynecology Department at The South Bend Clinic. Dr. Whitt specializes in women’s health care, including medical and surgical care of the female reproductive system and associated diseases and disorders. Dr. Whitt earned her medical degree from Indiana University School of Medicine. She completed her residency in obstetrics and gynecology at Loma Linda University Medical Center in southern California. Dr. Whitt holds an undergraduate degree from Purdue University, Lafayette, Ind. She is board certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Whitt, contact The South Bend Clinic, 574-237-9261. You can also visit us online at

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family features

Lovin’ Our Pets!

Love Lessons From The Dog By Stephanie J. Salisbury

Oh, hey. Hey, how are you? It’s great to sniff you. I mean, talk to you. So, my mom’s letting me help her write this article about love, because I’m so good at it. My name’s Nikita. I’m an 8-yearold German shepherd/husky mix. That’s right, I’m a dog. I’m very fluffy, I like to cuddle, and there’s nothing in the world greater than when my people come home from work! Here’s what I know as a dog: I love my people. When my people leave, I run up to the big bay window in the front room, and I watch them go. I crane my neck to see them as far as I can. While I wait for them to get back home, I lie in the big bay window, so I can see them pull into the garage. No matter how badly I have to go outside when they get here, no matter how upset I’ve been that I can’t let myself outside because I don’t have those opposable thumbs – when that door opens, I immediately run up to my people to let them know how much I missed them. I bark and I dance a little, so they know that they are the best part of my day. When they go in their room to change their clothes, I follow them. When they go into the living room to watch TV, I jump right up next to them. I want to be as close as possible. Sorry about that, my dog can get pretty verbose. The thing is, though, she’s got it right, and we should probably take a few lessons on how to love better from her. All too often, we treat our loved ones as though we couldn’t possibly care less if they showed up or not. We’re busy people with busy schedules and busy lives. What would it be like, though, if we loved like the dog loves? Nikita’s easy-going. If I want to go for a walk, she’s up for that. If I want to take a nap, she’s up for that. If I want to rub her ears while I talk to my sister on the phone, she’ll take what she can get. She doesn’t demand anything, she doesn’t ask for much, and she’s always happy to see me. What if we treated our spouses that way? Instead of bombarding them with lists of things that need to be done when they walk through the door, what if we greeted them with a smile, an embrace, even a kiss? What if, instead 32 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

of throwing our needs at them right away, we were content to do whatever they felt like doing in the moment, just letting ourselves be happy to be next to each other? How about, instead of being completely closed-minded about what task had to be next, we just threw caution to the wind and took a walk together? Don’t forget to tell them about how you love on me. You know when we snuggle and you ruffle my fur and pat my head? I think that’s really, really important. It makes me feel warm and safe and secure and calm and happy, and I know that you love me. Yes, Nikita, I’m getting to that. We call it “human touch.” Being physically affectionate in your marriage not only brings you closer as a couple, but it carries tremendous health benefits as well. G. Weldon Troyer, M.D. and retired OB/GYN says, “Touching – hand holding, and other physical touch – helps to bond with your loved one. It can stimulate feelings of comfort, stability, and deep meaning. This, in turn, can lower blood pressure, lift depression and provide meaning to life together.” He goes on to explain, “Touching and closeness in marriage is important in affirming the marriage bond. Along with saying and hearing “I love you,” it is important in deepening the marriage bond and engendering a closer feeling between the partners.”

And forgiveness. Tell them about forgiveness. You know how when sometimes you yell at me, I put my ears down because I am sad, but then I run up to snuggle you anyhow because, even though you yelled at me, I know you still love me? Ah, yes – one of the things the dog is so much better at than I am. Humans hold grudges for far too long. Take a lesson from the dog – we all make mistakes, whether it’s a mess on the carpet, leaving our dirty clothes on the floor, or forgetting an anniversary. Holding a grudge doesn’t help anyone, but forgiveness helps everyone, and almost immediately. A weight lifts from your shoulders and theirs, and both of you can breathe easily. Soon you’re back on the couch snuggling once again. Snuggling. Yay! Can I have a treat now? Yes, Nikita, you can have a treat. Good girl.

Stephanie J. Salisbury is a graduate of the University of Michigan. She lives in Middlebury with her husband Stephen, and their kids Zachary, Michael, and Aria. Stephanie works at the Daily Grind in downtown Elkhart, and has written a novel, a non-fiction Christian self-help book and a collection of short stories and poetry.

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family features

Lovin’ Our Pets!

Losing a Pet

How to Help the Members of Your Family Cope with the Loss of their Best Buddy By Michelle Wegner

Our buddy got tired. He would have turned 14 on November 6th. He had the worst dog breath of any pet in the history of the world, but he was adorable, a best friend to each one of us, and we will miss him.

ferocious barks. From that day on, when anyone would come to our door or walk into our yard, he would bark and bark, terrifying the guest with his less than one-foot tall ferocity.

He had a stroke in the night a few weeks ago. I took him to the vet and they said, “It’s his time to go. He’s lived a good life.”

He was such a good buddy to our girls. Seeing him go was one of the hardest things that has ever happened to our family. If you have loved and lost a pet, you know what I mean.

I’ve known for a while that he was at the end of his days, and I certainly didn’t want him to linger in pain from sore knees and other old age problems. But it was hard, very hard. Winston was our first kid. Rob and I got him a year before we had Maddie, so he lived as our only child for a time, fully bonding with us, learning to trust and love us. He was just a little white fur ball when we got him and was very docile and compliant, until we had Maddie. He was afraid of her little baby cries at first, but a switch flipped once he realized this was a “puppy” that the three of us were supposed to protect with our

Since that very sad day, the girls are each handling their grief in their own way, and much differently than I had anticipated. The morning Winston got sick, the older two girls knew right away that something was very wrong and were able to say goodbye to him before school. I was truly grateful for the support their school offered through a counselor and good friends. Belle went right to her room when she found out after school. She did not shed a tear, but wrote and illustrated an entire book dedicated to her best buddy. The book is full of pictures of her memories with him running, jumping, laughing and playing. I was grateful again for her wonderful first grade teacher for allowing Belle to show her book to her class the next day. Her teacher even took time out to discuss losing a pet with the class. According to Belle, there was a conflict about which was “more sadder”: losing a pet fish or a dog. Most of the class settled on “dog,” except for the one who lost the fish. The older girls took the loss of their buddy very hard. He’s been their one connection to their early childhood days which bring them so many fun memories. They have each other, but Winston was their other best buddy. Their sadness has been sort of lingering since that day, and we talk about it as we can.

Some Advice

Each member of the family has dealt with the sadness of losing our dog in different ways. Here is what we have learned from this experience and some advice I have to offer if you or someone you know loses a pet: Don’t think you know how they will respond.

This is a new loss with new circumstances. Let them grieve how they will. Every person in the family is different and will experience grief in their own way. Talk about great memories right away.

The funny stories we share at dinner about our old buddy always make us laugh and cheer us up. 34 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Treasure their memories.

However they express it, let them know their grieving process is special and important. We hung up the book Belle drew for everyone to look at. It makes her feel proud and included as an important member of the family. Give space to kids who aren’t as verbal.

If they don’t want to talk about it, don’t make them. Let them have quiet time if they need it. For our oldest daughter, quiet is what heals her sadness. Let them know this is a part of life.

Most importantly, and most obviously, let your kids know you love them and that this is the natural part of living and dying. No matter how they feel – angry, sad, frustrated or lonely – let them know you are there for them and will help them through it. A gentle hug and the comforting presence of a loved one will go a long, long way. Michelle Wegner is mom to three spirited little girls, Maddie-12, Whitney-10 and Isabelle-6. Her husband is a pastor at Granger Community Church, and they have been married for 17 years.

Complete care for cats & dogs including medicine, surgery, dental care, grooming, food & supplies.

Now accepting new patients at our brand new facility! Center for Animal Health Dr. David Visser & Dr. Karen Visser 69905 M-62 Edwardsburg, MI 49112 (888) PETS-VETS (269) 663-3235

Party for a


Party For A Cure is a fundraising event to benefit JDRF. The evening’s festivities will include a live & silent auction, dinner, dancing, games, entertainment and fun!

Join us Saturday, March 17, 2012 Doors Open at 5:30pm Juday Creek Country Club Granger, IN

EMCEE: Gordy Young REGISTER TODAY: 574.273.1810 ABOUT JDRF: JDRF was founded in 1970 to fund research to find a cure for type-1 diabetes. While we continue to pursue that ultimate goal, we’re also committed to improving the quality of life for people struggling with the disease today. That’s what our strategy of Cure, Treat, and Prevent is all about. You can be part of the cure by supporting this event.



Lovin’ Our Pets! Some Tips family features


Bringing Home Fido & Fluffy By Dr. David Visser

The joy of raising a new puppy or kitten to be your constant companion is one of life’s greatest experiences. In a crazy economy and in stressful family lives, pets can actually bring a cohesive and loving touch. So if you want to add a little unconditional love and lots of fun at home, a new pet may just be what the doctor ordered. There is no doubt that we find the little round heads and big eyes of young puppies and kittens irresistible. Millions of new pets find their ways into our hearts and homes each year. Studies show pets are a very positive addition to families or singles and even empty nesters! Pets relieve stress, add joy and give us love unconditionally. So a new pup or kitten may be just what you need. Whether you picked out your new friend at a breeder or you’ve rescued a pet in need of a great home, all puppies and kittens have requirements that you must know before bringing them home. Prepare for day to day needs, like food and playtime, plus the ongoing needs, like vaccines and preventive care. Also be ready for those unexpected things, like emergency care or behavioral problems.

You Are What You Eat

It’s common sense that puppies and kittens need adequate amounts of food and clean water to grow to their potential. What’s less well known is that your choice of food could have a huge impact on the health of your pet. It’s easy to become confused by the many brands, flavors and styles of pet food – all claiming they are best. When looking for a proper diet, please ask the advice of your veterinarian. Also look for companies that make a real effort to help consumers understand our pets’ nutritional needs and not just sell a slick image or push celebrity endorsements. Remember, some of the best medicine isn’t medicine at all – it is nutrition!


Preventative Care Really Does Matter

Whether new owners are trying to save money, or they were told, “All his shots are done,” inadequate preventive care dooms many young animals to suffer some terrible diseases. Feline distemper, canine parvovirus, heartworm disease and severe intestinal parasite infestations are just a few of the serious medical problems seen routinely in veterinary offices. Your veterinarian will save you money and heartache by providing advice about vaccines and preventive care. Although internet sites and forums might seem like great places for education, many sites provide poor advice and even wrong information. Your veterinarian will customize an individualized vaccine protocol and give the needed deworming treatments to keep your pet and family safe. When it comes to your new pet and your veterinarian – an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure.

Down, Fido! Down!

Likewise, your pet’s mental and social health is as important as his physical well-being. Behavioral problems are a leading cause for relinquishment and even euthanasia of pets. By spending some time working with your new pet through obedience and socialization classes, you can help prevent life-long issues. Having the right toys and providing plenty of play time with the family is another great way to have a behaviorally healthy pet. Then, there are always the miscellaneous items you will need: crates to help with housetraining, litter boxes for the kittens, scratching posts, treats, leashes, collars and stain/odor removers for accidents. Whether you shop at your

veterinarian’s office or at pet super stores, you can find limitless choices of these essential things.

Always Think Ahead

All told, Americans spend about $40 billion dollars each year on their pets. An average family might spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on their dogs and cats each year. Sadly, emergencies and serious illnesses add to this number. Pet insurance and pet health savings plans can help reduce or eliminate some costs, but common sense and responsible ownership will have the greatest impact. So if you are looking to add the cuteness of a puppy or kitten into your home, just remember that it comes with a great deal of responsibility and a little bit of cost. The unique benefit of living with pets is unparalleled, though. Science as well as centuries of experience show us that animals bring a rare richness to our lives, and this is especially true in stressful times.

Dr. David Visser is medical director of Roseland Animal Hospital in South Bend and Center for Animal Health in Edwardsburg. He appears weekly as the “Pet Vet” on WNDU TV-16.


Katie Elms, M.D. Katie Elms, M.D. joins the Pediatric Department at The South Bend Clinic. Dr. Elms completed her pediatric residency at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan. She received her medical degree from Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. Dr. Elms graduated magna cum laude from Hope College in Holland, Michigan. To schedule an appointment with Dr. Elms, contact The South Bend Clinic, 574-233-7337. You can also visit us online at

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©2011 The South Bend Clinic



FEBRUARY 2012 Sunday

Drop-in Craft Day Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Every Sunday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day from 1 to 5 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.


Storytime Sampler Bittersweet Branch Library, Mishawaka

Storytime Sampler is held every second and fourth Monday of the month from 10:30 AM to 11 AM. This fun library time provides a sampling of the materials used in the preschool and toddler programs. Registration is not required. Call 574.259.0392 for more information.


Storytime at Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore

Every Tuesday near the fireplace in the bookstore, join story time with books, interactive songs and an art project or other activity for young children. Story time is at 11 AM and 1 PM and lasts 45-60 minutes. Check out the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Facebook page for an upcoming list of readings (click on the ‘Storytime’ tab).

Storytimes Francis Branch Library, South Bend

Every Tuesday at 10 AM, enjoy stories, music and movement that build early literacy skills and help your young child prepare for future learning success while developing a love of books. Open to children ages 5 and younger; families welcome. Call 574.282.4641 for more info.

Lapsit for Prewalkers St. Joseph County Public Library, Storytime Room

Every Tuesday at 10:10 AM, enjoy books, songs, finger plays and fun for children up to two years who haven’t yet mastered walking on their own. Pre-register online at or at 574.282.4607.

Wednesday Lapsit

Francis Branch Library, South Bend 38 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Calendar of Events

Every Wednesday at 10 AM enjoy books, songs, finger plays and fun for children up to two years. Call 574.282.4641 for more info.

Toddlertime St. Joseph County Public Library, Storytime Room

Every Wednesday at 10:10 AM and 11 AM, enjoy early literacy activities for children ages 2 to 3 ½, including stories, songs and games. Pre-register at www.libraryforlife. org or at 574.282.4607.

Storytime at the Library 10:15 AM– Centre Township Branch, South Bend; Lakeville Branch, Lakeville 10:30 AM – South Bend Branches: River Park, Tutt, LaSalle, German Township

Every Wednesday enjoy stories, music, and movement that build early literacy skills and help your young child prepare for future learning success while developing a love of books. Open to children ages 5 and younger; families welcome. Visit www. for more info.

Drop-in Craft Day Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Every Wednesday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day from 3:30 PM – 5:30 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.

Mom and Baby Exercise Class Thomson’s Physical Therapy, Niles, Michigan

Come get that pre-pregnancy body back while you stimulate your child’s development and learning. Classes are offered every Wednesday morning at 9:30 AM, and free childcare is provided for toddlers during the class (for mothers with more than one). Call for pricing info. For more info call 269.687.9110.


Storytime at Hammes Bookstore & Café on Eddy Street

Every Thursday at 11:30 AM, join story time with books, interactive songs and an art project or other activity for young children. Story time is at 11 AM and 1 PM and lasts 45-60 minutes. Check out the Hammes Notre Dame Bookstore Facebook page for an upcoming list of readings (click on the ‘Storytime’ tab).

Drop-in Craft Day Imagine That! Toy Store, Mishawaka

Every Thursday enjoy “Drop-in” Craft Day from 3:30 PM – 5:30 PM. All ages are welcome and an adult must accompany children. Pay $5 for the craft of the day to create and then take home with you! Call 574.254.1600 for more information and for a schedule of upcoming classes also available at the store.


Downtown South Bend’s First Fridays

The first Friday of each month explore downtown South Bend from 5 PM-9 PM. Visit for a listing of events taking place, including activities and experiences for kids, adults and families.


Family Programs at Curious Kids’ Museum

Curious Kids’ Museum and Discovery Zone, St. Joseph, MI

Every Saturday from 12 PM – 4 PM, the museum hosts family-friendly programs that are fun for all ages. Check out the new Discover Zone (for children ages 3 and up); also hosting Saturday family programming at the same time. Call 269.983.2543 for more information. Admission fee or membership to museum is required.

Ongoing February Events Who’s Hiding in the Bittersweet Branch Library? Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet Branch

Beginning Wednesday, February 1, Mo Willems’ irresistible friend, the Pigeon, is hiding in a different location each week in Children’s Services at the Bittersweet Branch Library. Find him and receive an entry slip for a drawing to be held Wednesday, February 29. Two lucky winners will choose books from a selection of new paperbacks. Children are allowed to enter the drawing one time per week.

Cage Fitness STAR Martial Arts, Elkhart

Cage Fitness is tested and designed by 9-time Welterweight Champion, Matt Hughes. However, unlike MMA, there is no contact and no partners! Cage Fitness is designed to work out your entire body in only 25 minutes! Come try a free class before you decide you love it! For more info call 574.522.5425.

*Please be sure to call ahead to confirm times and information. Hershey’s Kisses Valentine Guess Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, All Locations

Everyone is invited to guess the number of Hershey’s Kisses in the jar at the Reference Services desk at all MPHPL locations from February 1 through February 13. Winners, contacted on Tuesday, February 14, will receive the candy as their prize. Patrons may complete one entry per visit, and no duplicate winners.

Baby Boot Camp Central Park, Mishawaka on Mondays Granger Community Church, Wednesdays and Fridays

Baby Boot Camp stroller-based fitness classes are designed specifically to help moms get fit. Classes combine strengthtraining exercises with cardiovascular drills. Pilates, yoga and abdominal exercises help improve core strength. The stroller, resistance tubes (and even your child!) are used as an integral part of the workout. Starts at 9:30 AM. Free! For more info visit

The Sharing Box Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Harris Branch

February’s Sharing Box features the book “There’s an Alligator Under My Bed” by Mercer Mayer. Enjoy reading the tale of a little boy who is sure there is an alligator under his bed. Read how he lures the alligator into the garage with a trail of “alligator bait” like cookies, a peanut butter sandwich, fruit, vegetables, and the last piece of pie. Then, make your own alligator picture to take home. Ask for this Sharing Box anytime during the month of February at the Children’s Services desk.

Thursday, February 2 Toddler Time

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Bittersweet

Toddler Time is for children 2 and 3 years old with their caregivers. Children must have celebrated their second birthday by the first program date, February 2. This is a structured story time program that uses books, story-related activities, and crafts to create an enjoyable group experience. This 8-week, 30-minute program will be offered on the following Thursdays: February 2, 9, 16, 23, and March 1, 8, 15, 22. Registration is required and begins January 19 at 9 AM. Two sessions are available, 9:30 to 10:00 AM and 10:30 to 11:00 AM. For more information, visit the Children’s Services desk of the Bittersweet Branch Library or call 574.259.0392.

Saturday, February 4 Science Alive!

St. Joseph County Public Library, South Bend

Science Alive! at the St. Joseph County Library gives K through 8th graders an opportunity to learn more about science and technology. Join County Parks staff as we celebrate the 20th anniversary of Science Alive! with displays and hands-on activities about winter birds! Free event. For more information call 574.282.4613. From 10 AM to 4 PM.

VIP Jazz Collection DeBartolo Performing Arts Center, South Bend

Sample the VIPs of the Visiting Artist Series curated for you by genre, idea, even by month. VIPs are your source for mixes we love at just the right level of commitment. Enjoying more live music, dance and theatre just got addictively affordable. Become a VIP now. $75 per VIP Jazz Collection. Event occurs monthly on the first Saturday of February, March and April. For more info, visit

Tuesday, February 7

Cooking Class with Chef Laurent: Bonjour la France Chef Laurent, Inc., Granger

Chef Laurent, a native of Brittany, France with a culinary background in European cuisine, offers various classes to enhance your cooking skills. Learn to make zucchini fritters, cod dieppoise and floating island dessert from 5:30 to 7 PM. $45. For more info visit

Wednesday, February 8 Bookworms Book Club

Winter Home School Program: Winter Animals

Bendix Woods County Park: Glenn Bauer Shelter, New Carlisle

Welcome, home school families! How do animals survive the winter? Discover the many ways in which animals deal with the weather, investigate the evidence of animal activity around the park, and make animal track guides to take home. Registration is required by Tuesday, February 7. From 10 to 11:30 AM. $3 per child. For more info, visit or call 574.654.3155.

Good Shepherd Montessori Parent Coffee Good Shepherd Montessori, South Bend

Come to Good Shepherd for coffee to visit and talk with parents of current Good Shepherd Montessori students. Topics include child development, learning, play, discipline and peaceful living. All are welcome! From 8 to 9 AM. For more info, call 574.288.0098.

Saturday, February 11

Introduction to the Mountain Dulcimer St. Patrick’s County Park: White Barn Harvest Room

Join us for a relaxed, informal class with the “Kentucky Woman.” No experience with playing or reading music necessary. Limited loaner dulcimers available; bring your own dulcimer if possible. Recommended for ages 10 and up. Children under 15 must be accompanied by an adult. The lesson is the same at both time slots: 10 AM to 12 PM or 1 to 3 PM. $10 per person. Registration and payment are required by February 8th. For more info, call 574.654.3155.

Winter Day

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Harris Branch

Potawatomi Zoo, South Bend

Children in grades 2 and 3 who love to read are invited to join the Bookworm Book Club. The club will meet every Wednesday for seven weeks from 3:30 to 4:30 PM beginning February 8. Space is limited and registration is required. Call 574.271.3179.

Come join the Potawatomi Zoo as they host their second Winter Day of the 2012 season! Cost $5 per person. Two and under get in free as do Potawatomi Zoological Society members. From 12 to 3 PM. For more info call 574.288.4639 or visit

Thursday, February 9

Romance! Romance!

Little Women

Bethel College Music Department, Mishawaka

Join us for an evening of musical entertainment that the whole family will enjoy. $15 adults, $13 students and seniors. Show starts at 7:30 PM. For ticket information, contact the box office at 574.807.7080.

Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Harris Branch

Valentine’s Day is here. All are welcome to enjoy the love songs performed by New Image, a barbershop quartet that blends their voices to make one beautiful sound, on February 11 at 3 PM at the Harris Branch Library. For more information, call 574.271.3179. THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


Free Tax Assistance Available Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Downtown

If you need help with your taxes, volunteers from The University of Notre Dame and St. Mary’s College will be offering free tax assistance for qualifying individuals. Notre Dame and Saint Mary’s students will help taxpayers whose 2011 income is $40,000 or less. Unemployed taxpayers whose 2011 earnings were at or below $40,000 prior to collecting taxable unemployment benefits will also be served. Assistance is available on a first-come, first-served basis. All sessions will be held in the Spencer Gallery on Saturdays from 1:00 to 4:00 PM on February 11, 18, 25; March 24, 31; and April 14. An additional session will be held on Saturday, March 3 in the Children’s Activity Room. For more information, contact Reference Services, downtown Mishawaka Library, at 574.259.5277, ext. 218.

Romance at the Symphony The Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend

Get into the Valentine’s spirit by attending the KeyBank Pops Series II, “Romance at the Symphony” on Saturday, February 11 at 8 PM at the Morris. Broadway meets Hollywood for an evening of song and dance inspired by the 1930s. Maestro Tsung Yeh and the South Bend Symphony Orchestra team up with Broadway veterans Joan Hess and Kirby Ward for this Valentine tradition. For tickets, call the Morris Box office at 574.235.9190 or go to

Sunday, February 12

Golden Dragon Acrobats present “Cirque Ziva” The Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend

The Golden Dragon Acrobats represent the best of a time honored tradition that began more than 25 centuries ago. The company of 27 Chinese acrobats is recognized throughout the United States and abroad as the premiere Chinese acrobatic touring company of today. World renowned impresario Danny Chang and choreographer Angela Chang combine award-winning acrobatics, traditional dance, spectacular costumes, ancient and contemporary music and theatrical techniques to present a show of breathtaking skill and spellbinding beauty. From 3 PM to 5:30 PM. For ticket pricing and more info, visit or call 574.235.9198.

Wednesday, February 15 Michigan Blood Drive

Niles City Fire Department, Niles

Do something great for those who are in 40 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

need of blood. Healthy donors are the only source of blood; there is no substitute. Help your community by giving blood at a Michigan Blood Drive at the Niles City Fire Department at 1345 E. Main St. From 11 AM to 7 PM. Sponsored by Lakeland HealthCare,

Saturday, February 18 Tapping Day!

Bendix Woods County Park, New Carlisle

Grab your braces and bits. It’s time to tap! Volunteers are needed to help tap trees and get the Bendix Woods sugar bush ready for making maple syrup! Please bring a hammer and a brace with a 5/16” bit (if available). This activity is outdoors, so dress for the weather. Volunteers should arrive before 10:30 AM. From 9:30 AM to 12:30 PM. For more info call 574.654.3155 or visit

Theatre Class: “I Wish I Were…” (K-1st Grade) South Bend Civic Theatre, South Bend

Using songs and themes from Flat Stanley, come along as we sing and dance! Join us this class session as we go on adventures around the world, discovering new places and things we could be. Saturdays starting February 18. 9:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the Studio Theatre, 403 N Main. Cost is $75.00. Lasts till March 17th. To register, call 574.234.1112 or visit online at

Theatre Class: “Musical Clue” (4th6th Grade) South Bend Civic Theatre, South Bend

Did Professor Plum do it in the kitchen with the rope, did Colonel Mustard do it in the study with the candlestick, or was it really Miss Scarlet? Inspired by “Clue, the Musical,” we will use songs and scenes from the show to work on vocal technique and characterization. This class will focus on stage presence, Musical Theatre singing style, as well as ensemble work. Saturdays 11:15 AM to 12:45 PM. Classes end March 17. Class will be held in our Studio Theatre, 403 N. Main. Cost is $90. To register, call 574.234.1112 or visit us online at

Michiana Civil War Re-enactors Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Library, Downtown

All ages are invited to step back in time to the 1860’s for a presentation about the American Civil War with members of the Michiana Civil War Re-enactors at 2:30 PM. The re-enactors portray Northern and Southern soldiers and civilians dressed in appropriate. A discussion will also occur about the war and how the soldiers and citizens managed their lives

on a daily basis. For more information, call 574.259.5277, ext. 218.

Wednesday, February 22 Cooking Class with Chef Laurent: The Melting Pot Chef Laurent, Inc., Granger

Chef Laurent, a native of Brittany, France with a culinary background in European cuisine, offers various classes to enhance your cooking skills. Learn to make Roasted Tomato and Cheese Tarte, Red Velvet Cake and Baked Macaroni and Cheese with a twist from 5:30 to 7 PM. $45. For more info visit

Friday, February 24 My Fair Lady

The Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend

One of Broadway’s enduring classics, My Fair Lady, returns with all of the grandeur and romance that has made this musical one of Broadway’s icons. Based on George Bernard Shaw’s “Pygmalion,” with book, music, and lyrics by Lerner and Loewe, My Fair Lady is triumphant. With “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly,” “I Could Have Danced All Night,” “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face,” and “Get Me to the Church on Time,” it’s no wonder everyone – not just Henry Higgins – falls in love with Eliza Doolittle. Shows on Friday and Saturday. Show on Friday starts at 8 PM. For tickets and more information, visit

Saturday, February 25

The Civil War: Featuring American Girl Addy! Elkhart County Historical Museum, Bristol

Bring your American Girl Doll to the museum and learn together about the Civil War. There will be crafts, activities, and fun for all! Enter in a drawing to win American Girl related door prizes. There are two sessions to choose from: 10 to 12 PM or 1:30 to 3:30 PM. $4 per child. Pre-registration is required by calling 574.848.4322.

Sunday, February 26 YMCA Fitness Marathon YMCA of Elkhart County, Elkhart

YMCA Fitness Marathon features a variety of fitness classes to try: Zumba, Spinning, Piloxing, Step Aerobics and Yoga. Refreshments and door prizes provided. From 1:30 to 4:30 PM. $10 per person. For more info, call 574.389.7878 or visit

March Events Saturday, March 3 Maple Chili Lunch

Bendix Woods County Park: Glenn Bauer Shelter, New Carlisle

Join us for a taste of homemade chili, cornbread and desserts made with maple syrup from our own sugar bush. After lunch, we will head to the sugar bush to tap a tree and visit the sugar house to see maple syrup being made (weather permitting). Registration and payment are required by February 24. $6 adults, $3 kids 6-11 and 5 and under get in free. For more info, call 574.654.3155 or visit

Sunday, March 4

Good Shepherd Montessori Open House Good Shepherd Montessori, South Bend

Good Shepherd Montessori School will host a spring open house for children and parents. Come check out the beautiful art, music, gardening, and work children do at the school! From 1 to 3 PM. For more info, visit or call 574.288.0098.

Friday, March 9

Disney Live Presents Three Classic Fairy Tales Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend

Join Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy as they bring the timeless fairytale adventures of Cinderella, Beauty and The Beast, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to life. Featuring dynamic storytelling, award winning music, stunning costumes and glittering special effects to captivate audiences. It’s pure magic happening at The Morris. There will be two showings on Friday, March 9, at 3:30 PM and 6:30 PM. Tickets on sale now! For more info call 574.235.9198 or visit

Zeitgeist! Bethel College: Everest-Rohrer Auditorium, Mishawaka

Join us for an evening of musical entertainment that the whole family will enjoy. Cost is $7 for adults, $5 for students and seniors. Show starts at 7:30 PM. For ticket information, contact the box office at 574.807.7080.


to our monthly distribution partners Allied Pediatrics Chic-Fil-A Clay Preschool & Church Debbie Werbrouck School of Dance & Music Early Childhood Development Center at Notre Dame Elkhart General Hospital Eye Site Optical Family Sports Time Pub Friends Preschool & Daycare Granger Community Church Growing Kids Learning Center Gymnastics Michiana Kumon Learning Center Menno Travel Midwest Orthotics Mutual Bank Notre Dame Federal Credit Union Once Upon a Child Soccer Zone South Bend Clinic South Bend Medical Foundation St. Thomas the Apostle School Strikes & Spares Traditions Photography Trinity Lutheran School Victorian Pantry YMCA of Elkhart If you would like to receive The FAMILY Magazine at your familyfocused business or organization each month, please email your request to: THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012



Special Section Threading Together The Memories of Your Life Don’t Miss The Coastline Children’s Film Festival! Worms, Worms, Worms Six Ways to Let Go of Resentments, Move Past Old Hurts, and Forgive Bedwetting

lakeside living

Threading Together The Memories of Your Life

By Aggie Blesy, Vice President Berrien Town & Country Quilters Guild


• Cut each side and top of garment to open and lay flat. • Cut and fuse Pellon Featherweight Fusible Interfacing to wrong side of area that you want to stabilize. • Place the garment right side up on cutting mat. Find center. Place ruler on garment matching center of ruler to center of the part you want in the block. Cut with a rotary cutter.

Note: I cut and sewed several of the small infant pieces into blocks. It gave more variety to the quilt. I also cut and sewed the embroidery area of a small blanket into a block. • Lay out the blocks in rows in the order you want to sew.

Sewing Together: QUESTION: What should you do with those baby and toddler clothes that hold such fond memories? ANSWER: Make a memory quilt! In the fall of 2010, my daughter-in-law came to me and said the only thing she wanted for Christmas was something made with her favorite clothes from her two boys. I told her to put them together, and I would take a look and see what I could come up with. The collection of clothes included infant and toddler size, babies’ first Christmas, Halloween items, t-shirts, pajamas and a small blanket. I knew I would have to cut the clothes into different size squares to maximize the blocks. I choose 6.5 ", 8.5" and 12.5". I had these plastic square rulers in my quilting supplies. It is much easier if all the blocks are the same size. The previous year, I made Nine block t-shirt quilts for the boys, so I was familiar with the process. 44 LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

• Cut 2 1/2 inch wide strips for each one. One 2 1/2 inch strip for vertical, one 2 1/2 strip for horizontal and one 2 1/2 inch strip for boarders. • Sew strip to each block and then sew together in rows.


• Choose material for your backing and batting. Both should be at least 3 inches bigger on all sides of quilt top. • Several methods to finish your quilt are: Tie square knots through all thickness, machine quilt and bind or longarm quilting. I chose fleece for the back and “stitch in the ditch” on the lattice and border seams using a walking foot.


• Include pertinent information such as the name of the person the quilt is for, who made the quilt, the year it was made and the town and state it was made in. Sew on back of quilt.

Now those sentimental clothes have a new life as a quilt!

lakeside book review



Thousands of local parents are connected to The Lakeside FAMILY Magazine through Facebook, Twitter & E-Blasts. Written and Illustrated by Melissa Sweet (Caldecott Honor Winner) 2011 Houghton Mifflin Books for Children Reviewed by Sarah Eisele Children’s Librarian St. Joseph Public Library Whether we watch it or not, most of us cannot recall a time when Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade was not an established part of the holiday season. “Balloons over Broadway” is the story of innovative puppeteer Tony Sarg’s involvement with Macy’s and his creation of the iconic balloon characters that populate the famous parade. Sarg became a marionette man at the tender age of 6 by devising a rope and pulley system that allowed him to feed the chickens without getting out of his cozy bed. As an adult, he experimented until his marionettes’ movements were as smooth and authentic as a human actor’s. R.H. Macy was so impressed that he asked Sarg to create something spectacular for his next project: a holiday parade that would honor the festival traditions of the store’s many immigrant employees and celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving. Thanks to Tony Sarg’s incredible imagination and skill, awed audiences still gather to see beloved characters march along New York City’s famous skyline in Macy’s parade. Caldecott Honor Winner Melissa Sweet’s brilliant mixed-media collages combine with her endearing watercolors to evoke a respectful, affectionate scrapbook celebrating the wit, humor and whimsy of Tony Sarg and his many ingenious creations. Sweet’s collages -- fashioned of fabric bits, found objects, and handmade toys and dolls -- add texture, depth and a sense of fun that reaches off the page, enticing the reader to examine each detail with care. Sweet’s prose is engaging and informative, pulling the reader into the story of Sarg and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. She outlines the difficulties that arose, shaped the design and creation of Sarg’s massive marionettes, and the improvements that followed.

WHY? To connect with other parents, get instant updates on fun things to do and parenting news, enter Facebookonly prize giveaways and more. GET IN THE LOOP. SO YOU CAN GET THE SCOOP. @LakesideFAMILY1

Sweet’s playful illustrations depict her story, but more than that, each page is rife with details that enhance the reader’s understanding of Tony Sarg and the joy he found in creating his toys and puppets. Sarg’s belief, “I have never done a stroke of work in my life,” resonates throughout the book, emphasizing that, for Sarg, work was play, and his life’s work was a labor of love. Among the busiest artists of his day, Sarg always found time for his favorite audience – children. He personally replied to every single letter he received. “Balloons over Broadway” is a gorgeous, enjoyable book perfect for bedtime at home, storytime at school or research for a project. An author’s note and source list are appended. LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


lakeside findings

Don’t Miss The Coastline Children’s Film Festival!

The Coastline Children’s Film Festival in partnership with Brookview School announces the unveiling of the 2nd annual international children’s film festival for Southwest Michigan. This one-of-a-kind family event will take place in six locations in Berrien County, Michigan from February 3rd through February 12th.

The complete list of the Best Short Films from the NYICFF can be found at This year, The Coastline Children’s Film Festival will be presenting a host of outstanding films for the whole family, many for the very young and some appropriate for middle and high school students.

To most children across the county, a weekend out of school often equals cartoons and decade-old Disney movies on television. But the festival hopes to change that. One of the best things about going to the movies is how magical the experience can be: the flip-up seats, the expectant crowd, the lights going down, and the enchantment of the film. The Coastline Children’s Film Festival is offering over 50 films this year. There’s comedy, adventure, love, music, dancing, lots of happy endings and a few sad ones.

Seeing a movie can be like a visit to a wonder-filled land we may never come across in our everyday lives. The best films provide a place where we are all invited – no borders, no visas required and no possibility of being excluded or exiled. We expect that in this second year, the festival will serve over 1,000 children. The films planned for this year speak positively to children and families of diverse ages, backgrounds and ethnicities. They include award winning films that have been screened all over the globe such as “What’s on Your Plate,” a documentary about kids and food politics; “Louder Than a Bomb,” a film chronicling a kids’ poetry slam in Chicago; “One Lucky Elephant,” a 1,000 pound love story about a circus elephant’s retirement; the 1953 Cannes Film Festival winner, “White Mane”; “Eleanor’s Secret,” a charming animated film about the magic of learning to read; and selections from Leonard Bernstein’s Young People’s Concerts recorded nearly fifty years ago.

This year they are presenting the best short films from the world-renowned New York International Children’s Film Festival (NYICFF). They include a kaleidoscopic showcase of the best short film and animation from around the world, for ages 3 to 6, and a selection of the most entertaining, thought-provoking and visually stunning short films for ages 7 to 12. This collection of award-winning shorts will be presented at several locations. 46 LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Films will be screened in St. Joseph at the Box Factory for the Arts and the Krasl Art Center (KAC), in Benton Harbor at the Anna Russo Sieber Gallery and the Citadel Dance and Music Center (Music Campus at 204 Water St), in Three Oaks at The Acorn Theater and at the New Buffalo Performing Arts Center at the New Buffalo Middle School/High School. The New Buffalo Fine Arts Council (, 269.409.1533) is co-sponsoring all of the screenings in New Buffalo. A three-day workshop for kids ages 11-16 will be held on February 7-9 from 5 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and a two day workshop for children ages 6-10 will be held on February 10 and 11 from 12 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. Additionally, there will be a dinner and sustainable food workshop (ages 8 plus) on February 10 at 6:30 p.m. following the screening of “What’s on Your Plate” at 5:00 p.m. and a writing workshop (ages 8 plus) on February 11 from 3:30 p.m. to 5 p.m. following the screening of “White Mane” at 2:30 p.m. All of these workshops will be held at the Anna Russo Sieber Gallery in Benton Harbor. The workshops will focus on storyboarding, visual storytelling, film vocabulary, writing, directing and scene design. Students will walk away with a plethora of information as well as a finished project. These events will require pre-registration and have a nominal fee of $30 per session. Discounts are available for those who take two or more. Parents may sign up for workshops by going to or calling 269.208.4409, or mail a check to ARS Gallery, PO Box 9151, Benton Harbor, Michigan, 49023. The Krasl Art Center is also one of six host sites showcasing award-winning, familyfriendly films, uniquely paired with studio art opportunities. Following the screening of

“Paddle to the Sea” (all ages) at 10 a.m. on February 4, artist Tom Hurst will help kids create their very own wooden toy canoes from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. At 1 p.m. there will be a screening of “Between the Folds” (ages 8 plus) followed by an Artful Origami workshop at 2:30 p.m. KAC will also screen shorts from the New York International Children’s Film Festival (ages 3-6) on February 11 from10:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. A hands-on art activity will be held on February 12 at 2:30 p.m. after the screening of the French classic “Red Balloon” at 2 p.m. For information on fees and registration, contact Becca Hunt, KAC’s education programs coordinator at or call 269.983.0271. For a final list of all films along with film descriptions, visit Admission for all films is free; however, a onedollar suggested donation per person is requested. Parents will be given guidance to content and age appropriateness. For more information, call Brookview School at 269.925.3544 or Leslie Sullivan at 269.757.1491.

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lakeside pets

Worms, Worms, Worms By Dr. Ed Blesy

Let’s talk about worms, or those slimy parasites that can affect your pet. Since some of these parasites can also affect humans, this is an important topic. It is also a fun topic. When I talk to school groups, I seem to get the most “oohs and ahhs” when I bring out samples of these somewhat unpleasant looking creatures.

dogs and cats can pick the eggs up and transport them on their paws. If the roundworm larva makes it into a child’s mouth, it can cause partial and permanent blindness through an inflammatory reaction behind the eye.

Here, I will touch on some basic facts about the most common parasitic worms we see in dogs and cats. Please visit your veterinarian to obtain more detailed information for your pet’s and family’s benefit.

Like roundworms, hookworms can be transmitted to nursing puppies, across the placenta and through environmental contact. A heavily infected puppy can become anemic and die. Humans can get a skin disease by contacting with the worm larva in the soil. The larva can cause inflamed and itchy skin lesions. Another source for human infection would be from unwashed vegetables. This can lead to intestinal infection.


Roundworms are one of the most common pet parasites. These “spaghetti” worms can enlarge a puppy’s belly. Cat or dog mothers will often pass these parasites through the milk to their newborns or across the placenta to the fetuses. Pets can also become directly infected from roundworm eggs that have been passed in the stool of already infected dogs or cats. These eggs can survive in the environment for a long time under harsh conditions. Fresh stool will not have infectious roundworm eggs. The eggs have to develop for at least 30 days to become infective. Therefore, after playing outside, children can ingest roundworm eggs on dirty fingers, or 48 LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012



The most common tapeworm we see must go through a life stage within a flea. Therefore, good flea control products can prevent this parasite. Dogs and cats must groom and eat fleas to become infected with this common tapeworm. This parasite is identified when a small white segment either passes with the pet’s stool or sticks to the fur on the back end. When freshly passed, the segment can stretch and move. Eventually, it dries up to look like a sesame seed.

The entire worm, that owners usually do not see, is attached to the small intestinal wall. The worm can be larger than six inches.



This is not a worm. It is actually a fungal infection of the skin. Veterinarians can do special tests to confirm if a skin lesion has resulted from ringworm infection. It is important to identify if a pet has ringworm because the infection can be passed on to humans.


These small worms are usually not seen by pet owners. They live in the large intestine of the pet. If large enough numbers are present, colitis or bloody, mucousy diarrhea can result. It takes up to four weeks after the eggs pass in the feces to become able to infect a new host. Therefore, pets become infected by grooming and licking their paws after walking through contaminated soil. Whipworms do not tend to cause problems in cats or people.

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These long, greater than 12 inches, parasitic worms live in the pulmonary arteries of an infected dog, cat, coyote or ferret. One worm can cause severe signs in a cat such as respiratory distress. Even though the parasites cause damage, a dog could have many heartworms without any signs of infection. A mosquito is required for heartworm transmission. Veterinarians can run blood tests to detect heartworms. Best ways to prevent the above mentioned parasites: • Visit a veterinarian regularly. He or she will provide the information and medications to help keep your pet and your family free of many parasites. Make an appointment with a veterinarian before you bring a newly acquired pet home. • Use heartworm preventative 12 months a year for the life of your pet. Heartworm preventatives protect against not only heartworms, but many intestinal worms, too. • Use a flea preventative to keep your pet free of fleas. This will help avoid tapeworms. • Have a veterinarian run intestinal parasite screens (fecals, stool samples) regularly on your pet. • Use a deworming medication regularly on pets that hunt other small creatures. • Teach children to wash their hands after handling pets.

New Arrivals Weekly Including: Haven Girl, Ruffle Butts, and many more Leave Old Man Winter at home and come check out our great selection of Boys and Girls clothing and gifts. Open 11-5 daily, closed Tuesday 269-586-2275 122 N. Whittaker St. New Buffalo, MI 49117

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Offering half day and full day programs, total immersion Spanish program, before school care, and afterschool care for elementary aged children in St. Joseph schools.

Enrolling children

2.5 years old - Kindergarten Age

School Director: Dr. Ed Blesy graduated from veterinary school in 1997, and later moved with his family to practice in beautiful southwest Michigan. In January of 2006, Dr. Ed opened St. Joseph Animal Wellness Clinic, PC in St. Joseph, Michigan.

Marcie O’Connell

Open House

February 18th from 10am to 2pm LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


lakeside parenting

Six Ways

to Let Go of Resentments, Move Past Old Hurts, and Forgive By Meagan Francis

Forgiving with a free heart will make you happier. Today. Right now. I once wrote a post about letting go of expectations and forgiving and forgetting when expectations aren’t met. As I expected, the responses were passionate. And some of the private responses I received suggested I should demand better from my spouse and encourage others to do the same. But how? I know, maybe issue an ultimatum...because those work so well! Sarcasm aside, I’d love it if I could give you an easy fivestep process to getting your husband to stop doing all those annoying, stupid and things he does, but I can’t. You can talk, you can use lots of “I” messages, you can create a checklist, you can hold regular meetings, and yes, those things will probably help, but I can’t make any guarantees. So, what options do you have? Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m not excusing everything your husband has ever done to make you mad. I bet some of it really was wrong. But then, what about our screw-ups, which I assure you are plentiful whether we notice them or not. How do I want to be treated when I mess up or fall down on the job or just fail to live up to what I promised to be? Of course, knowing we’re imperfect too doesn’t mean it’s always easy to move past resentment – far from it. We are all different, and I don’t think there’s any one-size-fits-all process. But I believe you can strengthen your forgiveness muscle, if you’re willing to be open, ask yourself tough questions, and most important, just keep trying. Here are some things I find help me shift my perspective:

Look at the Big Picture

Yes, it’s crazy-making when your significant other doesn’t clean up after himself, or forgets over and over what time the kids’ school bus comes, or overdraws the checking account, or (insert whatever irresponsible or frustrating thing he does here).


But I have found that I tend to see the stuff that’s right in front of me, and the things in my sphere of notice tend to be children, cleanliness of house and work. Jon’s sphere looks different. He notices things like whether there are batteries in the house and whether I’ve updated the security on my computer and whether or not the car has gas. I might not always notice his contributions because they aren’t in my sphere of priority. But that doesn’t mean his sphere doesn’t matter, too. Our household responsibilities are not always divided up 50/50, and I think it’s unrealistic to expect they ever will be. Life just isn’t neat and tidy like that. Instead, sometimes I give more, and sometimes he gives more. There are a lot of little ways my husband chooses to make my life easier, without complaint, and a lot of stresses he takes on to make our lives better, whether I notice them or not. Sometimes it’s good to take a minute to notice.

Be the First to Apologize

“But why should I apologize when he’s the one who…” Because you’ll feel better after you do. Freer. Nicer. Happier.

I believe that when you are really in tune with your instincts, you’ll know, on a gut level, if something major is off. Otherwise, go with the information you have at hand, today, right now. Refusing to allow somebody to change, or refusing to acknowledge that change out of fear, is no way to live or share a life with another human.

Choose Your Perspective

Nobody can make you feel like a maid unless you choose to. Your spouse’s failure to do the dishes does not necessarily mean he disrespects you. It’s fair to notice and point out that the dishes aren’t done, but assigning a motive, or accusing others of casting us in a role we’ve created just breeds resentment.

Consider the Alternatives

The real alternatives, not the fantasy ones you’ve created in your head. So, it’s totally unfair that your spouse keeps skipping out on the laundry. You keep talking, griping, pleading, but still, the piles grow and he doesn’t even seem to notice. What are your basic choices?

Because even if you truly believe he’s wrong-er, chances are good you’re at least a little bit wrong, too.

1. Stop doing the laundry entirely and wait to see what happens.

Because apologies tend to have a thawing effect on those cold, little hard-packed snowballs of resentment and anger we carry around.

3. Accept that you will be the one doing the laundry for now.

Because if you apologize, there is a very good chance he’ll stop feeling the need to clench up and defend himself and throwing his own icy snowballs. It’s so hard to apologize, especially when we aren’t sure the other person deserves it. But the way I look at it, the apology isn’t just for them, it’s also for me. I need to recognize and acknowledge the part I played, so I can move past it. Apologizing makes us vulnerable, and that’s hard sometimes when we’re clinging tightly to our rightness and hiding behind our anger. But as publisher Sarah Welch of so wisely pointed out, “The single, most important thing that has made the difference in our lives is a willingness to be vulnerable.”

Ask Yourself if This Will Matter

Will this matter in two days, ten days, a year or ten years. I’m guessing 90% of the time, it won’t even matter in two hours.

Let Your Spouse be who He is Today…

…not who he was last month, last year, or last decade. I have an issue with one of Dr. Phil’s favorite sayings: “The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.” He may be right in a technical, cynical sense, but constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t allow us to give others space to change and grow, and it robs us of the ability to trust. I’m not suggesting we all stick our heads in the sand, look past truly heinous behavior, or allow abusive patterns to continue, but at some point, if somebody is obviously trying and making changes, (even small, slow ones) we have to make a choice to trust unless faced with information that suggests we shouldn’t.

2. Get somebody else to do the laundry. 4. Divorce him. Which of these seems most reasonable? Which is most likely to make you happy? If the answer is “divorce him,” have you really thought about what that would mean? (Single people still have laundry to do…) If you think it through carefully and the answer is still “divorce him,” I’d suggest the problem is not really the laundry. Or the unmade bed. Or the dozens of other little things we use as scapegoats for what’s really going on. Dig deeper, and head to counseling posthaste. Again, I want to be clear that there are issues that go way deeper than small resentments, big stuff like adultery and chronic gambling and huge, heartbreaking dishonesty. It’s not my place to tell you whether you should stay married or not, or whether your spouse can change or not. But I can promise you that keeping small things in perspective and forgiving with a free heart will make you happier. Today. Right now. Extending grace does not equal allowing ourselves to be treated badly, but it does mean allowing our significant others to be imperfect humans and loving them anyway – with whole hearts, not the grudging, resentful kind. Not just because they deserve it, but because we deserve it. There is no joy in resentment. So if you can’t do it for him just yet? Do it for yourself.

Meagan Francis is a mother of five and lives in St. Joseph, Michigan. She is also author of “The Happiest Mom: 10 Secrets To Enjoying Motherhood.”



lakeside health

Bedwetting When Should You Start to Worry?

By Amy Cahill When my children were born, everyone assured me girls are so much easier to potty train than boys. One day, just before my son’s third birthday, he figured out how to use the potty. Within two weeks, he went from having a soaked diaper every night to being completely dry. After a month, we tossed the pull-ups, and he’s been accident-free ever since. When my daughter was born a few months later, I was convinced potty training her was going to be a snap. After all, girls are easier than boys, right? Sure enough, she was ready to ditch the diaper at 2 1/2. But, only during the day. Three years later, she’s still wearing pull-ups to bed, and she’s wet nine nights out of 10. Although I frequently find myself wondering why she just can’t get the hang of staying dry, local pediatricians assure me she’s actually very typical. Dr. Robert Hines, a pediatrician at Southwestern Medical Clinic in Stevensville, Mich., says by age 3, 95 percent of children are potty trained – during the day. It’s not until age 6 that 95 percent of children are consistently dry at night. “If you’re over 6, then you’re out of the normal range for bedwetting,” he says. But, even after age 6, kids still are likely to outgrow bedwetting on their own. Dr. Hines says as each year passes, 10 percent of the kids who are still urinating at night outgrow it on their own. Bedwetting tends to run in families. So if a parent struggled with this issue, the kids are more likely to have trouble staying dry. Children who sleep deeply, like my daughter, are also more inclined to wet the bed.

When to Talk to Your Doctor

While wetting the bed after age 6 is not unusual, it’s still a good idea to talk to your child’s pediatrician about it at her annual physical. Dr. Amy Shah-Shine, a pediatrician at St. Joseph Pediatrics in St. Joseph, Mich., says your child’s doctor will likely check to make sure an underlying medical condition is not causing the bedwetting. Constipation, nervous system issues and urinary tract infections can all cause bedwetting. If your child is suddenly wetting the bed after being dry at night, you should probably call your doctor, Dr. Shah-Shine says. Children 52 LAKESIDE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

who are drinking a lot during the day and then wetting the bed at night may have diabetes. Major stressors like a divorce or a bully at school can also cause children to revert to bedwetting. Although most cases of bedwetting resolve themselves with time, there are still things parents can do. Positive Reinforcement Positive reinforcement is vital, Dr. Shah-Shine says, adding, “You cannot punish the child for this. It is not something that they are doing wrong.”

Bedwetting Alarm Studies have shown bedwetting alarms to be one of the most effective ways to stop nighttime urination, Dr. Hines says. Typically, children wear a sensor that sounds an alarm when it detects liquid. If the child is a deep sleeper, she may not realize she has a full bladder. Eventually, the alarm conditions her to wake up before she needs to go. “That truly kind of matures the brain-bladder connection,” Dr. Hines says.

Just like with daytime potty training, daily sticker charts with a large reward at the end can work wonders.

The problem with the alarms is they may wake up everyone in the house, except the deep-sleeping bedwetter.

Change Bathroom Routines Dr. Mukund Shah, a pediatrician at St. Joseph Pediatrics, suggests that parents begin limiting liquids after dinner. He also encourages parents to have their children wait a little while before going to the bathroom to help increase their bladder capacity.

Dr. Shah-Shine says she recommends the alarms for older children who want to stop wetting the bed. “The child has to be motivated to want to use it,” she says. “I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for a 5-year-old, per se.”

Parents also need to send their child to the bathroom before bed. In addition, parents can wake bedwetters up and take them to the bathroom before the parent heads to bed. Dr. Shah-Shine also suggests parents encourage their children to drink and urinate regularly during the day. Many children, especially girls, don’t drink enough at school and avoid using the restroom. Then they try to squeeze an entire day’s worth of fluids into the early evening hours. Take Away the Pull-Ups “Pull-ups can be a hindrance,” Dr. Shah-Shine says. Because children don’t feel wet when they wear pull-ups, they often do not realize they have urinated. Dr. Hines recommends taking kids out of pull-ups when they stay dry at night about half the time. He tells parents to make their child’s bed, and then put down a waterproof barrier and top it with a second set of sheets to make nighttime changes easier. When the child wets the bed, have him help strip off the wet sheets.

Stevensville mother Kerry Wilson says a bedwetting alarm worked for her family. “It was annoying, but fixed the problem in very little time.” Medication For older children who are still wetting the bed, doctors can also prescribe a drug called DDAVP. Its generic name is demopressin acetate. The drug uses synthetic hormones to reduce the amount of urine the body produces. All three doctors indicate the drug typically does not stop bedwetting long term. However, it can be highly effective as a short-term solution for an older child who is concerned about wetting the bed at camp or while spending the night at a friend’s house. “I tend to use those only for kids who need them, like for camp,” Dr. Shah-Hines says. All three doctors also say while bedwetting can be annoying, parents should not be overly concerned about it. “I’ve never seen a 20-year-old bedwetter,” Dr. Hines says. “Of all the kid issues, this is not a serious thing. Doing nothing is a valid option for this.”

“It’s not a punitive thing to make the kids take part in pulling off that bedding,” he says. “It’s just a thing to try to motivate them that much more.” Amy Cahill is an award-winning freelance writer based in Stevensville, Mich. She and her husband have two children who provide most of the inspiration for her parenting articles.




Lakeside FAMILY Calendar of Events



Thursday, February 2

Bridgman Public Library, Bridgman

St. Joseph/Maud Preston Palenske Memorial Library, St. Joseph

Mendel Center Mainstage Theatre, Benton Harbor

Baby N Me

A program for parents, caregivers and their babies from newborn to 24 months. Parents guide their babies through creative movement, songs, dance, story-time and more with the help of instructor Teri Sue Wines. Parents will have the opportunity to interact with their babies, meet other parents and give their babies a chance to play with others. Registration is required. Free event. From 10:45 to 11:15 AM. For more info, visit

Bedtime Story Time Lincoln Township Library, Stevensville

Stories, songs and crafts for preschool and early elementary ages. Free event. From 7 to 7:30 PM. For more info, visit www.

Tuesdays Baby Laptime

New Buffalo Township Library, New Buffalo

Enjoy a special time for songs, stories and lap rhymes for you and your baby, ages 3 to 18 months. This is a free event. From 11 to 11:30 AM. For more info, call 269.469.2933.

Story Hour Bridgman Public Library, Bridgman

Come join Teri Sue for lots of fun as she reads stories and sings songs. Make great crafts and have a snack, too! Registration is required. For 2-5 year olds. Free event. Starts at 10:30 AM. For more info, call 269.465.3663.

Toddler N Me Bridgman Public Library, Bridgman

For parents, caregivers and their child from 2-5 years old. Parents guide their toddlers through the joys of toddlerhood with creative movement, songs, dance, finger plays and more with the help of Teri Sue Wines. Parents will have the opportunity to engage one on one with their little one, meet other parents and give their little one a chance to play with others. Registration is required. Class offered 9:30 to10 AM or 11:30 to 12 PM. Free event. For more info, call 269.465.3663.

Story Time St. Joseph/Maud Preston Palenske Memorial Library, St. Joseph

Story Time for kids up to age 3 and story time for ages 3-5 are held in two locations within the library at the same time. Free event. 10:30 AM. For more info, call 269.983.7167 or visit 54 THE FAMILY MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Story Time

Story Time for ages up to age 3 and story time for ages 3-5 are held in two locations within the library at the same time. Free event. 10:30 AM. For more info, call 269.983.7167.

Wee Discovery Curious Kids’ Museum on the Bluff, St. Joseph

Preschool story and hands-on discovery activities. Free with admission of $4 per person or your membership. 10:30 AM. For more info, visit

Mom and Baby Exercise Class Thomson’s Physical Therapy, Niles, Michigan

Come get that pre-pregnancy body back while you stimulate your child’s development and learning. Classes are offered every Wednesday morning at 9:30 AM, and free childcare is provided for toddlers during the class (for mothers with more than one). Call for pricing info. For more info call 269.687.9110.


Walk-in Story Time Lincoln Township Library, Stevensville

Enjoy stories and songs for preschoolers. Free event. From 10:30 to 11 AM.


Storytime Fun New Buffalo Township Library, New Buffalo

A program designed for preschoolers, bring your child and enjoy stories, songs and crafts! From 10:30 to 11:15 AM. Free event. For more info, call 269.469.2933.

Fun Friday Lincoln Township Library, Stevensville

Stories, songs and take-home crafts for preschoolers. Free event. From 10:30 to 11 AM. Visit


Free Craft Activities Lakeshore Learning Store, Sterling Heights, Michigan

Every Saturday from 11 AM to 3 PM, Lakeshore Learning Store offers free craft activities for kids ages 3 and up at all of their locations! Please visit www.

“I Have a Dream” The Life and Times of Martin Luther King, Jr. Learn about the life of this historic and inspiring figure. And you can meet the cast in the lobby after the performance. Show starts at 7 PM. Tickets start at $11. For more info, visit

Friday, February 3 Bus Stop

Twin City Players Playhouse, St. Joseph

If you’re looking for a night on the town, take it to the theatre! Bus Stop is a comedy by William Inge, and directed by Timothy Aranyos Jr. Show starts at 8 PM. Tickets are $12 for adults, $11 for students and seniors, $7 for kids under 12. For more info on this play and other show dates, visit the website at

Saturday, February 4 Bev’s Second Season Ball

Heston Hills Banquet Center, La Porte

Escape the winter blues and have a Chocolate Fantasy celebration at New Buffalo Business Association’s Second Season Ball. Open bar with free signature chocolate martinis from 6 to 7 PM, appetizers by local restaurants, delicious meal and dive into two chocolate fountains for dessert! Spectacular silent auction items including vacations and cruises and dancing till midnight! Find out details and order tickets at

Love Your Heart Day The Orchards Mall, Benton Harbor

Learn to Love Your Heart! It’s Lakeland’s first “Love Your Heart” event, filled with free information and screenings to show you how to take good care of your heart. From 9:30 AM to 1 PM. For more info, visit or call 269.556.2872.

New Buffalo Winter Fest! Downtown New Buffalo

Celebrate the season at New Buffalo Winter Fest with lots of winter fun activities like free sleigh rides through town on Saturday, ice-skating all weekend, ice carving demonstrations and more! Free sleigh rides from 12 to 5 PM; Ice Sculpting from 12 to 2 PM; Ice Skating from 10 AM to 10 PM. Festival lasts throughout February 5. Free to low cost depending on the activity! For more info, visit

*Please be sure to call ahead to confirm times and information.

Monday, February 6

Amazing Monday, Banana’s and “Despicable Me”

Bridgman Public Library, Louise Christensen Community Room

Don’t miss this fun event where the library will have a banana treat and watch the movie, “Despicable Me.” Starts at 3:30 PM. For more info, visit

Wednesday, February 8 Reading BEElievers

Bridgman Public Library, Bridgman

Bridgman Elementary Teacher Becky Hoehn and library staff Denise Malevitis together with cooperation from Bridgman Schools and Bridgman and a host of adult volunteers, are here to assist children in 3rd and 4th grade in a wonderful reading program. Reading BEElievers is a program to encourage children to read. From 3 to 4 PM. If you have questions, contact denise@

Saturday, February 11 Molly Bancroft in Concert Foundry Hall, South Haven

Don’t miss this singer/songwriter perform her unique blend of music. Tickets from $5$7. Show starts at 7:30. For more info, visit

Tuesday, February 14 Morning Book Club

Lincoln Township Public Library, Stevensville

Come and discuss “Don’t Sing at the Table” by Adriana Trigiani. Copies are available at the library. Free event. From 10:30 AM to 11:30 AM. For more info, call 269.429.9575 or visit

Friday, February 17 Folias Flute and Guitar Duo Foundry Hall, South Haven

This husband and wife team has performed across the country. Their music blends their classical training with jazz and tango. Sure to be a great performance. Starts at 7:30 PM. $10, $8 for members. For more info, visit

Saturday, February 18 Dueling Pianos

The Heritage Museum and Cultural Center, St Joseph,

If you’re looking for a fun night on the town, this might be your ticket. Sing, clap along and enjoy this comedy piano show that’s

all about audience involvement. Come on a date or bring an entire group. Show starts at 7:30 PM. Price is $20. For more info, visit or call the Southwest Michigan Symphony Orchestra at 269.982.4030.

are throughout the park. This will work to protect the dunes and forest habitat. If you’re interested in helping, meet at the day use area off of the park entrance road. From 10 AM to 1 PM. For more info, email

Clifford the Big Red Dog Live!

Niles Service League Trivia Fundraiser Bell Building, Niles

Lake Michigan College Mendel Center

Kids will love the songs and wonderful choreography and will learn about the values that this series teaches, values like helping others and believing in yourself. The musical is from 11 AM to 2 PM. And tickets start at $11. For more information, visit,

Sunday, February 19

2012 Southwest Michigan Bridal Bash Vineland Center, St Joseph Charter Township

This is your one-stop for all things wedding! Bring your fiancé and meet local wedding professionals and learn about their services. There will also be music, food, cocktails and even dancing and visual demonstrations! This event starts at 1:45 PM. Tickets $10 cash at the door. For more information, visit

Tuesday, February 21 Evening Book Discussion

Lincoln Township Public Library, Stevensville

Take a ride on the nonfiction side. Come discuss “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” by Rebecca Skloot. Copies of the book are available at the library. Free event. From 6:30 to 7:30 PM. For more info, visit

Thursday, February 23 Steelhead Fishing

Lincoln Township Public Library, Stevensville

Captain Chris Rose of the Fishburner Charters will talk about the exciting sport of Steelhead fishing. This is a free event. From 7 to 8:30 PM. For more info, visit

Friday, February 24 Blast!

Lake Michigan College Mendel Center, Benton Harbor

It’s a Tony Award-winning show and one the 2001 Emmy for Best Choreography. This is sure to be a fun and memorable night! Show starts at 7:30 PM. For more info, visit the Mendel Center website at

Saturday, February 25

Help out and have a great time at this fundraiser designed to help the Niles Service League (a non-profit) to provide boots, clothing, eyeglasses and more to kids in Niles, Buchanan and Brandywine Community School Districts. It’s a sports-themed trivia fundraiser. $100 per table with an 8 person Maximum per table. Bring tailgate munchies. Enjoy the cash bar. From 6 to 11 PM. For those 18 and older. For more info, call 269.591.1246. Or check out their Facebook page:

March Events Friday, March 2

Michigan Blood Drive at Lakeland HealthCare Lakeland Regional Medical Center, St. Joseph

Every two seconds in the United States, someone needs blood, but less than 10 percent of eligible people donate blood. Healthy donors are the only source of blood-there is no substitute. Help your community by giving blood at a Michigan Blood Drive at Lakeland Regional Medical Center, St. Joseph; in Frederick S. Upton Education Center, Rooms 5 and 6. From 9 to 5 PM.

Tuesday, March 6

Pawsitive Reading Program Bridgman Public Library

“Dog is man’s best friend” the old saying goes, and the Bridgman Public Library is helping to prove that with its Pawsitive Reading program. The program will be on the 2nd Tuesday of the month through May, 2012. Pawsitive Reading is a program that can be a tool to help all children who have difficulty reading. Teacher, parent or guardian may call the library at 269.465.3663 for a 15 minute appointment between 6 and 7 PM with the service dog and handler. The session helps the child improve his or her reading skills. Whether the dog learns something is a matter of conjecture. Cost is free. For more info, visit

Warren Dunes Volunteer Steward Workday Warren Dunes State Park, Sawyer

Help out by removing invasive shrubs that



The Local Parenting Resource for Expectant Parents and Families with Younger Children

Special Section

New to Motherhood? There’s an App for That

Slow Cook Your Way to the Table Safe Sleep for Your Baby The Latest Recommendations

Color Me Stupid Hooray! The End of Diapers! Ideas and Tips to Help You and Your Child into Diaper-Free Living

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mi Corner Our tips, picks, news and advice.

New to Motherhood? There’s an App for That

New moms should consider the following apps as they gear up to bring an infant home or focus on those first few months with their little one. All of these apps are free, user-friendly and ready to make motherhood easier:

Calorie Counter by My Net Diary

Similac StrongMoms Baby Journal app Dinner Spinner

This app allows moms to easily track feedings, diapering, growth and sleeping patterns. Moms can even email reports to the pediatrician. Read more about the features of this app at

Grocery iQ

With Grocery iQ, simply scan the barcodes of products in the kitchen that need to be replenished and they’re automatically added to the list. Once complete, the list can be synchronized with other devices, so when mom is home with baby, dad can feel confident he’s picking up the right stuff. To read more, visit 58 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

The Calorie Counter app avoids fad dieting and helps tailor a diet to mom’s personal preferences, giving her a better chance for long-term success. Check out this app at With the AllRecipes Dinner Spinner app, simply plug in the ingredients available on hand and a variety of recipes will appear to take the guesswork out of mealtime. Visit to check it out. Stocking up on these apps before baby arrives can alleviate some of mom’s stress as she adjusts to the wonderful chaos that her infant will bring.

Need child care? Need preschool?

Want free marketing for your child care or preschool?

It’s Time to CONNECT! W

e all have hopes and dreams for our children. We picture them as happy young learners who eventually grow into high-achieving adults who in turn raise their own happy young learners, and so the cycle goes. What we sometimes don’t understand is that it doesn’t happen by accident. High quality early learning experiences are critical to every young child’s development and are more important than ever in terms of school readiness. Research has long since demonstrated that children’s early learning experiences determine their foundation for future learning and success. Children who experience high quality early learning – including support for health and emotional well-being – are more successful in later school years, less likely to repeat a grade, and more likely to graduate high school, attend college, and become the happy, productive adults of our dreams. The indisputable fact is that parents or caregivers are a child’s first and most influential teacher. Parents encourage their child’s learning and development every day with everything they do. Parents support healthy brain development, PARENTS, EXTENDED FAMILIES & THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHILDCARE physical development and social and emotional CONNECT is your one-stop online source of everything you need to know about early development when they childhood care, support, training and resources. engage children whether by reading a book aloud or CONNECT and find child care and preschool providers that can best meet your needs. taking a walk and pointing out simple things such as CONNECT and use the map to locate resources in your community that support you and young trees, flowers, birds and children in your care. houses. CHILD CARE & PRESCHOOL PROVIDERS CONNECT to promote and market your licensed child care and preschool service by listing it for free. CONNECT and update your organization’s profile on the searchable database resource.

But parents and caregivers can’t always be that teacher and that means the choices made in terms of child care and preschool are important. To put it simply: Quality matters.

So how do we foster quality in Michigan? How do we help parents and caregivers know what to look for when selecting an early learning setting for their children? And how do we help the people who operate those settings improve their skills and environments? As Michigan’s authority on early childhood, the Early Childhood Investment Corporation is working to help Michigan families find and access the high quality early learning opportunities their children – and all children – deserve. For more information about Great Start CONNECT, or a Great Start to Quality Resource Center near you, call (877) 614-7328. The Early Childhood Investment Corporation is a public/private initiative working to restructure Michigan’s investment in children from birth to five through state and local community efforts. For more information about ECIC and its work, go to Your Online Child Care and Preschool Resource Together we can give every child in Michigan a Great Start.

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mi Corner Our tips, picks, news and advice.

Slow Cook Your Way to the Table With busy schedules, demanding jobs and outside distractions, it’s no wonder that 57 percent of families do not eat meals together every day, according to the “Journal of American Medicine.” However, research shows that eating together as a family has many benefits including better academic performance, greater communication and improved nutrition.

For more inspiration and delicious recipes, visit

Slow-Cooked Pork Tortas Yield: 8 servings

Enjoy more family meals together by reducing the time spent on preparing a meal. With the help of America’s favorite protein, pork, and a classic kitchen ally, the slow cooker, gathering the family around the table is a cinch. Featuring many versatile cuts that can be easily prepared and cooked low and slow, pork is a juicy, tender and flavorful centerpiece for gatherings of any size, whether it’s a weeknight dinner or a large family reunion.

1 2 1/2-pound boneless pork sirloin roast 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon olive oil 1/4 cup water 8 crusty rolls, split lengthwise 2 7-ounce packages (about 1 1/2 cups) prepared guacamole 3 tomatoes, cored and cut into 16 slices

Try these tips for your next easy and delicious family dinner: • Make it Lean: According to the newly introduced MyPlate from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, lean protein is a core element of an overall healthy plate. Fresh pork is a delicious way to meet the new dietary recommendations and can readily be paired with fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Pork cuts from the loin such as a loin roast or chops are a delicious, leaner alternative for your next “low and slow” meal.

Rub pork roast all over with chili powder and salt. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork and cook, turning occasionally, until browned, about 5 minutes.

• Keep it Together: Help roasts keep their shape during slow cooking by tying them with cotton kitchen twine (also called butcher’s twine). If you don’t have it on hand, use unwaxed and unflavored dental floss. • Spice it Up: Pork pairs well with so many flavors – experiment with different spice combinations to find your favorite. To add a mild garlic taste to your next slowcooked roast, before cooking, cut garlic cloves into 12 slivers, pierce 12 holes all over the pork with the tip of a knife and insert a garlic sliver into each hole. 60 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Transfer to a 3 1/2- to 5-quart slow cooker. Add water and cover. Cook on low until the pork is fork-tender, 5 1/2 to 6 hours. Transfer pork to a cutting board and let stand 10 minutes. Discard liquid in crockery insert. Slice pork crosswise into 16 thin slices, discarding string. For each serving, place 2 pork slices in a roll. Top with about 3 tablespoons guacamole and 2 tomato slices. Cut in half crosswise and serve warm. Nutritional Information per Serving: Calories: 400; Fat: 12g; Saturated Fat: 3g; Cholesterol: 90mg; Sodium: 640mg; Carbohydrates: 36g; Protein: 38g; Fiber: 3g

Story Time

The Phantom Tollbooth By Norton Juster Reviewed by Jillian Ciula, Children’s Services Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Random House Children’s Books has recently released the 50th anniversary edition of “The Phantom Tollbooth” by Norton Juster. Since its original publication in 1961, three generations have delighted in Milo’s journey to the Lands Beyond. For fifty years, Milo’s adventures have illustrated to children that “what you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow.” After trudging home from school one afternoon, the perpetually bored Milo discovers a package in his room, addressed, “For Milo, who has plenty of time.” It’s a cardboard tollbooth, which he quickly assembles, a beautiful map, and a book of rules. Despite his general disinterest in everything, Milo decides to give this new game a try. He hops in his electric car and passes through the tollbooth, which magically transports him to the Lands Beyond, a fantastical world of ideas and learning. He travels to Dictionopolis, the kingdom of words, and to Digitopolis, the kingdom of numbers. He meets the tallest midget and shortest giant in the world. He makes it to the Island of Conclusions, which can only be reached by jumping. He befriends a watchdog named Tock who helps him in his quest to rescue the princesses Rhyme and Reason from the Castle in the Air, where they have been imprisoned since refusing to choose between words and numbers. “The Phantom Tollbooth” broke many of the unwritten rules of children’s literature when it was originally published. The vocabulary is challenging, the wordplay is non-stop, and the transformation of abstract ideas can be difficult to grasp. Yet, despite all of the doubts that the publishing world had, the book was, and continues to be, a success. The story is delightful and continues to capture the imaginations of many young readers. “The Phantom Tollbooth” is a classic of American children’s literature and a great choice for children ages 8 to 12. This book is proof that we should never underestimate the intelligence of children. Every reader may not understand every pun, but they will most definitely delight in the twists and turns of this great story.



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Safe Sleep for Your Baby The Latest Recommendations

By Dr. Katie Elms


f you are the parent of an infant or young child, chances are you have heard the recommendation that all babies should sleep on their back. In my office, I know that I talk about it on a daily basis! In 1992, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) began its “Back to Sleep” Campaign, thereby recommending that all infants be placed on their back for sleeping until the age of 1. Since that time, there has been a dramatic decrease in the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), defined as an infant death that cannot be explained through an autopsy, scene investigation and thorough case investigation. In recent years, however, this decline has plateaued, and with it, there has also been a rising incidence in other sleep-related deaths from such causes as suffocation and entrapment (from bedding, blankets, crib decorations, etc.). In an effort to reduce these other causes of death in infants, the AAP has released new recommendations for sleep, not only to protect from SIDS, but also to promote a safe sleeping environment. The following are the top 10 recommendations to ensure that your little one is as safe as can be:

Back to Sleep for Every Sleep

Your infant should be placed wholly on his back for every sleep until the age of 1 year. Side sleeping is not recommended. Also, once your baby is able to roll both ways, you may allow him to remain in the sleep position that he assumes while sleeping.

Use a Firm Mattress for Sleeping

A firm mattress, covered with a fitted sheet, is recommended in a crib, bassinet or other such sleep area, like a Pack-n-Play. 62 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Sleep in an infant car seat, stroller, swing, or carrier/sling and similar items is not advised. If your baby does fall asleep in a car seat, it is best to move her to a firm sleeping surface as soon as you can. Pillows, quilts or extra blankets should not be used due to the risk of suffocation. While tempting, it is also not recommended to allow your baby to sleep next to you in bed; please resist the urge for just a quick nap on the bed together!

Room Sharing is Good. Bed Sharing is Not!

The best place for your new infant is within arm’s reach of your bed, so you can safely keep an eye on her. Evidence has shown that this set-up reduces the risk of SIDS as much as 50%! It is natural to bring your baby into bed with you for comfort or to nurse, but after this, you should place her safely back in her own crib. Devices marketed to make bed sharing “safe” are a no-no as well.

Keep All Soft Objects and Extras Out of the Crib

Pillows, toys, quilts, blankets, comforters, and yes, even crib bumpers, should not be used. While they may be adorable and complete the ensemble in your new nursery, ultimately they pose an increased risk for suffocation and strangulation, and if you want your baby to be the safest on the block, avoid these crib extras.

Breastfeeding is Best

Research has shown that nursing your little one, especially exclusively for the first six months, reduces the risk of SIDS. It is worth it. If you are having problems, talk to your doctor about lactation help.

Consider a Pacifier for Sleep and Naptime

Cozy kids’ stuff at prices you can snuggle up to.

Recent studies have indicated a protective factor of pacifiers on the incidence of SIDS, and that this protective effect persists, even if the pacifier falls out while your baby is asleep. There is no need to reinsert the pacifier if it falls out during sleep; there is no need to force it either if it seems he doesn’t like it! Also, you may want to delay the introduction of a pacifier for your baby until breastfeeding is going well (generally 3-4 weeks).

Avoid Overheating Your Little One Generally speaking, you should dress your baby in no more than one layer more than what you would wear. Always, always, avoid over-bundling and covering the face! If she is sweating or if her face feels hot, she may be a bit too warm.

Cozy kids’ stuff at prices you can snuggle up to.

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your wallet. We pay $$$ on thewithout spot for Prepare for anything prices gently that melt your wallet. We pay $$$ on the spot for gently used clothing, toys, furniture and equipment your used clothing, toys, furniture and equipment your kids have outgrown. Plus low prices on kids have outgrown. Plus low prices on they need now. Snuggle that. everything they everything need now. Snuggle intointo that.

Teach Early Tummy Time!

Supervised awake time for your baby to spend on her belly is recommended from a developmental standpoint and also to decrease the rate of head molding; round heads are the goal!

As Always, Routine Vaccinations Are Fully Recommended

Ask your baby’s doctor about what vaccines are recommend and when. Recent evidence suggests that immunizations may have a protective effect against SIDS. It’s just one more reason to continue routine well-child checks and vaccines!

Avoid Smoke Exposure

This is important measure for your baby as well as pregnant moms. There should be no smoking near pregnant moms or around infants. Smoke exposure during pregnancy and after birth substantially increases the risk of SIDS. And speaking of pregnancy, the AAP recommends routine prenatal care and avoidance of alcohol, drugs and tobacco, both during pregnancy and after the birth of your bundle of joy.

5640 Sunrise Highway • Sayville, NY 11782

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5640 Sunrise Highway • Sayville, NY 11782 631-244-9400 •

Please pardon our mess while we expand our store in Mishawaka.

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your wallet. We pay $$$ on the spot for gently used clothing, toys, furniture and equipment your 5640 Sunrise Highway • Sayville, NY 11782 kids have outgrown. Plus low prices on 631-244-9400 • everything they need now. Snuggle into that. 5640 Sunrise Highway • Sayville, NY 11782 631-244-9400 •

For more information about the above top 10, talk with your baby’s doctor at your next scheduled checkup. Hopefully, with the advent of these stricter guidelines, we will continue to see a decline in the rate of SIDS and other crib-related deaths! Now, go love your little one! Dr. Katie Elms is a pediatrician with The South Bend Clinic. She completed her pediatric residency at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital in Grand Rapids, Michigan and received her medical degree from Michigan State University College of Human Medicine.

“The Montessori Academy is a nationally accredited school offering a values-based education through brain-based learning - a school dedicated to promoting academic excellence, self-worth, self-discipline and a passion for learning.”


530 East Day Road, Mishawaka, IN (east of Grape Rd. and Main St.) MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


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Mommy & Daddy




By Jane Suter


How did I end up with orange hair you ask? Well my friend, take a seat and let me tell you a story about love, betrayal, tragedy and redemption… It all started when I decided to cheat on my hairdresser. Now, before you judge me too harshly, I had a super good reason for my infidelity. You see, he started dating my arch rival: My nemesis; The twang to my ying/Yyang; The Lex Luthor to my Superman. I tried to keep seeing him, but it was all too awkward. Words were exchanged, and now an uncomfortable haze surrounds our once perfect relationship. Sadly, our sweet love had been soured. Flash forward. Six weeks later my roots started showing. My blonde locks had muddy canals of mousy brown flowing through them. It was awful.

no denying the dying. I was a freak. Did I mention, in 48 hours I had a photo shoot with a fancy photographer? Yeah – good times. With few options left and tears filling my eyes, I freakin’ lost it! I grabbed the half-empty bottle of liquid shame and doused my tresses with the remaining chemicals. I was ALL-IN, baby! Gagging and choking on the football helmet of fumes that circled my noggin, I waited 10, 15, 20 minutes. I rinsed, conditioned and toweled dry. My fate was to be determined by my bathroom mirror. It was “go” time. The towel hit the floor and my hairdryer was brandished. Moments later, I was face to face with the new me. My mane was now a little less Tropicana and a skosh more Kool-Aid orange. Not entirely offensive, but enough to leave me shaking my head in cold consolation.

So, I decided to save myself $150 (and the discomfort of beginning a new relationship with another stylist) and I bought a box of grocery store hair lightener. At a cost of $9.99, what could go wrong?

My 6-year-old, waving away the offensive odors that now filled the house, assured me that I looked, “Beee-utiful!” This helped a bit, and I feigned belief for his sake. Note to self: Make an eye appointment for Aiden ASAP. We hugged and I surrendered to the sofa to read the promised Dr. Seuss book: “Oh the Places You’ll Go!” Prophetic words indeed, Mr. Geisel!

The moment I got home I set up my countertop laboratory and began mixing my potion. It was crazy, mad-scientist fun! Once concocted, I applied the noxious-smelling cream to my head. Thirty minutes later, and feeling quite proud of myself (thank you very much), I rinsed the goo from my cranium.

So, what happened with my fancy photography session, you ask? I went through with it – cartoon locks and all. I am hoping she is able to Photoshop out the carroty hue. We’ll see. I do know I have to find another hairdresser. I’m thinking one who is female and, therefore, break-up proof. Then I’ll never wind up looking like this again. Here’s hoping.

If Jean Harlow and an Oompah Loompah mated, this would be their offspring’s hair color. In shocked horror I stared at my reflection. I posed side ways, did the backwards-holding-another-mirror thing and even squinted my eyes. No matter how I looked at it, there was

Jane Suter is an award-winning writer and mom of two very energetic boys, one in kindergarten and the other in second grade. Born in Chicago, she is proud of her Midwestern roots.

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The End of Diapers! Ideas and Tips to Help You and Your Child into Diaper-Free Living By Sorah Stein and Shanti Bradley

Potty training is something that most parents really look forward to. It means the end of changing diapers, not to mention the end of the cost of diapers, or the end of washing diapers, whichever the case may be. It is also the beginning of countless hours in the bathroom and cleaning up bathroom “misses,” both in your house and outside of it. There are many options and even more opinions concerning how to potty train your child. Be prepared for advice from everywhere and anyone. Also get ready to hear from your own parents about how horrible or wonderful it was to train you, and rest assured that neither will necessarily be the case with your child. 66 MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012

Know What You’re Getting Into

Before embarking on this new adventure in parenting, take a moment to consider what is typical and expected with potty training. Children generally potty train between 18 months and 3.5 years of age. Differences in diapers (children who wear cloth diapers tend to toilet train earlier, in case you needed another reason to “go green”), temperament, parenting style, overall health and development, or any combination of these and other factors can affect the age of potty-training achievement. In addition, once potty trained, children often continue to have

accidents during both the day and night. Daytime accidents are typical until roughly the age of 5. Nighttime accidents can continue throughout elementary school. In other words, expecting a perfect or near perfect performance from your child is unrealistic.

Wade Through the Options

Let us also not forget about the countless potty training books, videos and other media that are sure to amuse children, though not always their parents. Some choose to make use of the many potty-training videos available, featuring familiar characters such as Bear in the Big Blue House and Barney. There are also many cute books available for children and their parents to read together that describe how to use the potty, making associations between being potty trained and being a big boy or big girl, and even covering basic hygiene practices such as wiping and hand washing and closing the door for privacy.

Get Your Child Involved

Child-sized potty chairs and toddler seats for placement on top of standard-sized toilets can make potty training easier for some parents and children. Parents may opt to take their child to the store and allow him or her to pick out their own potty/seat to further involve the child in the process. Other parents prefer to train their child to use the standard toilet from the start. This is a decision that is unique to each family and situation. Whatever your preference, rest assured that while we are familiar with children falling into toilets, we are not aware of any getting flushed down them.

Lose The Expectations and Opt for Experimentation

There are books that provide you with instruction on how to potty-train your child, including “boot camp” instructions that guarantee your child using the bathroom in a single day. Many advocate for a longer process that starts with introducing your child to the bathroom, allowing him or her to explore the bathroom area supervised, culminating in allowing your child time to play or run around without a diaper so that he or she makes the association between what he or she feels and what happens (hopefully not on your floor, carpet, or furniture – we suggest old table cloths or shower curtains). While one approach may appeal to you more than another, keep in mind that every child is different, and what works with one may not work with another – including siblings! You may want to knock out the whole process in a single Saturday afternoon; however, your child may have other ideas. This is a major milestone, and like all milestones, your child has to be ready to do this. Attempting to force this process on your child before being ready for it will only backfire. It will likely create fear of the process and anxiety concerning what is to come. Additionally, the child may feel like he or she has done something wrong if not able to potty train according to your schedule. Some of the common signs that a child is ready for potty training include telling you when he or she needs a diaper change, expressing interest in what goes on in the bathroom, showing curiosity in the toilet, and wanting to try the potty even when he or she doesn’t have to go. By waiting for your child to signal to you that the time is right, you can be your child’s cheerleader on the road to greater independence.

Shanti Bradley, BA, CD, CLS, lives in South Bend with her husband and two children. She is available for prenatal informational support, continuous labor support, postpartum care and education. Sorah Stein, MA, BCBA, CSE, lives in South Bend with her husband and three children and is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and Certified Sexuality Educator, working primarily with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. MI CHILD MAGAZINE | FEBRUARY 2012


M i C H I L D • S P E C I A L PA R E N T I N G F E AT U R E S E C T I O N

Play Dates

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Dress the kids, grab your purse and find your car keys! We have some fun activities to get you and your little ones out of the house this month!

Can’t Make it To Disney World? No Problem!

If your kids are bouncing off the walls to see Mickey and his gang, but traveling down to Florida just isn’t an option for the time being, look no further! The Morris Performing Arts Center is showcasing “Disney Live Presents Three Classic Fairy Tales.” Join Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy as they bring the timeless fairytale adventures of Cinderella, Beauty and The Beast, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to life! The kids will love the dynamic storytelling, award winning music, stunning costumes and glittering special effects. So, put on those Mickey ears and bring the kids for a day of pure magic! There are two showings on Friday, March 9, one at 3:30 PM and one at 6:30 PM. Tickets on sale now! For more info call 574.235.9198 or visit

Would the Next Zach Efron Please Stand Up?

Okay, you know your kid has a flair for the dramatic, so why not hone that skill and share it with the world? If you’re looking for an outlet for your little performer, check out the theatre classes at the South Bend Civic Theatre. They have classes for a variety of ages. “I Wish I Were…” is for kids in kindergarten through 1st grade. Using songs and themes from Flat Stanley, kids will enjoy singing, dancing and a whole lot of fun. These classes take place on Saturdays starting February 18. 9:30 AM to 10:45 AM in the Studio Theatre, 403 N Main. Cost is $75.00 and it lasts till March 17th. To register, call 574.234.1112 or visit online at There are also classes for older children at well. “Musical Clue” is for kids in 4th through 6th grade. Inspired by “Clue, the Musical,” the theatre will use songs and scenes from the show to work on vocal technique and characterization. This class will focus on stage presence, musical theatre singing style, as well as ensemble work. Classes are held on Saturdays from 11:15 AM to 12:45 PM, and end March 17. This class will also be held in the Studio Theatre, 403 N. Main. Cost is $90.





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