FAMILY kids By: Meagan Church
The Other Side of
What one mother wishes you knew about placing a child for adoption. Meghan Esau’s senior year of high school was not how she imagined it would be. “When I first found out, my initial reaction was a state of shock, which is to be expected at the age of 17 when starting your senior year of high school. You don’t expect to be thrown a curve ball of, ‘Hey, you’re going to be carrying a child,’” Meghan said. “There was a period of grieving where I had to come to the realization that my childhood had ended in one swift movement. I went from being a carefree, very free, 17-year-old to a pregnant 17-year-old.” After receiving the results, Meghan told her boyfriend and her parents. She didn’t know exactly what to do, but for her there were two options: keep the baby or put her up for adoption. Meghan began researching adoption and found a family she thought would be a good fit, but when they received a placement the day before her agent contacted them, Meghan reconsidered. “I took it as God closing that door,” she said. Then she started considering keeping the baby. “I just thought I’m going to figure out a way to make this happen. I can do this. I can do this. My mom sat me down with all the costs of having a kid. She made me figure out rent and food, and how much I was bringing in. We put together a budget and I realized I just couldn’t make it work.” Meghan turned her attention back to adoption. “Somewhere in all that, God put it in my heart that she was never going to be mine. I never felt that happy, ‘Oh, my gosh! I’m having a baby!’ That was never really my situation.” Meghan poured through more couple’s profiles and eventually found a new family. “Once I met them and I knew they were the ones. They felt like family. It felt the whole time like I was carrying their baby.” That was 11 years ago. Being on the other side, as the parent who chose to place her baby with another family, Meghan has a few things that she wishes other people knew about adoption.
FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2015