10 North Shore Children & Families How to Foster Character Development Continued from page 9
failure; it fails to promote skills for managing negative emotion and disappointment. The child with a growth mindset does not believe her abilities are fixed; instead, she acts according to the belief that her abilities are cultivated over time through effort, hard work and perseverance. The goal of a child with a fixed mindset is to present himself as capable by succeeding and to avoid looking foolish by failing. In contrast, the goal of the child with a growth mindset is to cultivate her abilities. Whereas the child with a fixed mindset is motivated to do well in this particular task, the child with a growth mindset sees her success on any particular task as but one step in a longer process of mastering a new skill. More important, the child with a growth mindset experiences failure
not as an indictment of her ability, but instead as indicating the need that more effort is needed to master the task. If the child believes that drawing ability develops over time through action and effort, then producing a poor drawing is merely an indication that the child has not yet learned to draw well. As a result, failure is not an inherent threat to a child’s selfesteem. Children who hold a fixed mindset identify themselves with their fixed abilities. Children who hold a growth mindset identify themselves with the process of cultivating new skills, abilities and qualities. Thus, the child with the growth mindset is interested in learning to draw beautiful pictures; acquiring the ability to add; getting feedback on whether she is learning well or poorly. In contrast, the child with the fixed mindset is interested in gaining praise for this particular drawing; being praised for his ability to add; and getting an A on the test.
Cultivating Character
Virtues for Self-Cultivation Parenting is not a morally neutral endeavor. If we want to foster the development of character in our children, we have to be willing to take a stand on the types of moral qualities that we want our children to acquire. Traditionally, the qualities that define moral goodness are called virtues. Fostering character development in children thus involves identifying the virtues and values we want our children to cultivate, and then helping children identify with and act upon their understanding of these virtues as part of what it means to be a good person. Thus, the first step towards fostering children’s character development is for parents to identify the virtues that they wish to promote in their children. Having done so, the virtues that parents identify as most important for our children become their primary parenting goals. For example, if we want our children to become caring, responsible and confident adults, then the job of the parent becomes one of helping the child to understand and identify him or herself with these virtues. The parent essentially says: “Here are the qualities of a good person; this is how you cultivate these qualities; now, I’ll help you through this; let’s get to work.” Identifying Your Values and Virtues Cultivating character involves identifying what virtues are important in life and making them part of one’s central identity. Thus, the first step in the task of fostering character development is to articulate your values and to identify the