Michael Bolerjack The Virgin She Was The Whitest Winter
The Virgin She Was The Whitest Winter ÂŠ 2012 Michael Bolerjack
TO MARY On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe December 12, 2012 MB
The Virgin She Was The Whitest Winter
By the way you hold yourself I see
That is His and we are just words
Someone that comes to life simply,
He says in the one pure act of His
Yet hard, the way you climb those
Meaning, all love, all embrace, all
Mountains where butterflies dwell.
The time telling us He loves us all.
By the way you talk I hear wonder
This world of ours is not what it is.
And awe at the things that God did
It is something else, something He
For us from the beginning of Time,
Knows and shares with us at times
And still does today, especially as
When we see into the life of things
We know it not, His secrets of His
And sense some sublime wonder a
Grace hidden in the folds of a word
Little just beyond what we can see
That means more than it can mean,
Or grasp, think or say, but that we
Means by number and not by mark,
Have known at times in our loving
Means by a fine articulation of your
And in conversations without end,
Sensibility, by the differences you
In the joy of being near each other
Say and see and feel when things I
And in the peaceful fall of sleep:
Do make you think of the Creation
Am I a dream you had once upon?
Brilliant in your shining eyes
Son we share but never had, but
Bright dark / unfathomed hue
Once at His coming we shared in
By yourself you star-out skies
His love together forever: Let us
As moons ken and swim-awry.
Stay a little while in our church’s
Let us begin again little one,
Afterthoughts of answers and the
I am but a writer, and you say
Request for love never denied, as
That I reach you from there to
We never turn away for once and
There, but I say I cannot reach
For all, but turn face to face from
You anywhere but elsewhere’s
The one embrace of Him to each
Reality, the really Real, in God
Other, finding ways to Him with
You became more for me from
Our laughter and our ascensions
The way you prayed your word
To tears and falls in our meeting
Of simple prayer to Maria: The
Half way across an angry pride’s
Virgin fills your soul when you
Scream or bitterness, He is nearer
Know it not, and knots your fine
Then when in pain we try the path
Heart with mother’s love for the
Of thorns and sharp rocks that cut
Us to each other and together feel
To be the easier part of life, simple
The pain of ones about to lose the
Family with a simple way to gather
Thing we hold most dear: we two.
At holiday in a past prolonged, not
Are you ready to walk with Mary?
Yet the eternal present future time
And with me to see Him face of his
Of Christ in Heaven. O wait longer,
Face, gaze of His gaze, hear voice’s
Yet we would wait no longer from
Assurance that you didn’t wither or
Today to the Opening of the High
Didn’t turn back, but in trusting so
Gate of Heaven: swing wide doors
Like a little flower following Him?
And touch the grace of His throne:
He led you where you did not want
Longing for the pure glass and air
To go, closer to glory, but far from
And water and light: then let us be
Home, far from the thing you knew
Clear in our disclosure. Love is too.
If I were to tell your story, with
Heaven is that place you dream of
What would I begin? Your birth
In love, in hopes that will never be
In Mexico, baptism at the basilica
Denied, but how long you wait for
Of the Virgin, with your ancestors
What you cannot know in this life.
Or with your accomplishments for
Only Heaven can compare with
A life lived in the country you took
The dream of life you hold in a
For your home just before you met
Heart that too cannot be held by
Me and forever changed my song?
This earthly life: and so you are
No, I think I would start with your
Suspended between one world and
Great desire, your hope, your long
The next, being at home neither in
Awaited hope: for Justice, Mercy,
This country nor your own, waiting
A dream of a better place than now
For your true home in Heaven high
Where we live in the corruption of
Above, you almost float there by a
The city of the falling and the felled.
Force of habit, hardly touching the
Your dream is so big, very big, that
Ground, one foot, barely, you are
Nothing can hold it but the Heaven.
Only just barely here with me now.
I hope you reach the aim, the goal,
I lived a love with you, and you
The place where you over all others
Gave me all of you, everyday of our
I think must belong, for Him and
Lives together, telling me youâ€™d do
For Her, for Them you belong too.
It all over again. Perhaps we will.
Saints and angels adore you my
Past our window in the nighttime
One little holy sweetheart, pure and
On their way to some point off the
Filled with the light of no darkness,
Map, because the map of my world
Only hopes and dreams of the great
Has only one direction, homeward.
Things to come on that future day.
With you, simple one, who cooks
On that great day, day of eternity,
And cleans and makes me feel so
Day of your wedding with Him, I
Ensconced in the places we have
Will say goodbye and give away
Lived out our days, in patience and
The one I loved without ever once
In tribulation, you have blessed me
Stopping to ask why, I did not, not
Time and time again, and bless me
Once, but took you as you were in
Yet as you sleep, softly breathing
All simplicity and grace and truth.
In the bed beside the writer writing
All you are to me is my one world,
His few lines that seem to not and
And there is no other world apart
Can never catch the meaning of so
From you, except flickering fading
Great a thing as a human being full
Images on screens, and cars that fly
Of love and longing and littleness.
O the guardian of my feelings, O
You are not, and O had I the time
The one guardian of the love I had
And the words to tell, the soul to
For you and you alone, O watcher
Climb where you are, O so high so
Of my skies, and kenning of my
Far beyond my mistakes and base
Untrue art, O the sentinel of souls,
Fantasies, images and words without
O the stayer of my staggering, my
A stopping, O you! You caught me!
One and sole support, O mistress
You broke my fall, you never had a
Of my heart, O the keeper of my
Way to know, but it was you, you
Trials and secrets, O the one who
Who kept me from the darkness of
Did not walk away, did not turn
The life I once called a life, but was
From me, but came and came again
No life without you, for you gave
With full knowledge though I did
Me more than I had ever known or
Not know, and could not know the
Thought that I could know, some
Passage to the place you dwell in,
Thing completely unexpected and
O the littleness of the things you
Utterly unimaginable: You gave me
Are, and O the terribleness of what
You, in all of you, every single time.
If words could say it, we would
If words could only disclose and
Say it once, and that once would be
Not just declare and describe, if
Enough, weâ€™d understand the thing
Words could be like light from the
Itself that we had intended to say.
Sun that not only illuminates the
But words only point at it, what
Visible, but warms and gives us the
We want to get at, that thing we
Pleasure of the heat of life, if my
Know not what that will fulfill the
Words could shine radiance on the
Desires we feel, the need for love.
One I love, then words would do.
If words were enough we would
These things, these letters, sent to
Not need to touch each other in the
My sentinel, they aim true but can
Way we do, or gaze upon anotherâ€™s
They find you in the place you live,
Smile, or see the majesty of faces.
Far from any language but feeling?
You! You are my subject, but not
The objects in my life consume me
Mine, not mine. You are not my
Instead of me taking them, but you,
Subject because you are not my
You do not take me but far rather
Object, you elude that binary gap
Give me a newer self than the one
Of thought and en-own me with a
That I had before, having made me
Love past telling, a love unrelated
All over, in that you are what God
To space and time and relativities,
Intended, the love made flesh, the
That knows only one relation in
Body of desire, neither subject nor
Life, a field of loves that spread on
Object, but the desirability of the
The level way that the Lord makes
Love itself seen in the shining of
For you to call out and not finding,
The light, and in the quiet of silent
Yet still you love to call loveâ€™s call.
Night, most in the peaceful repose.
You are all these things but most of
And in all the sweetness of your
All you are the salt that can never
Call, you also rail at the unjust and
Lose its “sabor,” that despite the
Those in power, but do not see the
Labors of love does not lose itself,
Corruption in those around you, too.
Does not abandon the truth for a lie
The lie is the way the people live, but
And does not speak except as the
Not you, you who live a truth without
Voice of one in her own wilderness
Telling, in the desire for a story and
And wildnesses, crying to be heard.
The need for the epilogue, the action
O! The worlds you could enlighten
Of the completion of the tale told.
And the grace you would bestow on
Life is in this, you see, our story
Men and women, who having their
Ends in Heaven, and God gives all
Hearts hardened, can’t comprehend.
Other names in the end and you
O! The fastness of your guard and
Then become in truth what I said
The sureness of your sentence, O!
You were to me, the princess of my
The charm of your song and the
Passage, and in His eyes you are
Voice of you, prophetess of love.
Already the one that men speak of.
That women dream we all should
There is no better place for you
Know, but of what they dream no
Than the center of your being, so
Man can tell, and so it is here with
Remain a while in that better place
Me tonight, not knowing your very
And let me imagine its goodness.
Dreams, the place where you live
The good does not leave us if we
Free and still and enjoy yourself in
Do not wish for itt to go, and you,
Complete care and regard, but also
Tenacious one, hold it with both of
In abandon and with a shout of Yes!
Your hands and tightly you draw it.,
Yes! The victory over the things of
Even if you must let me go, even if
This world and the prescient hold
You have to, do not let go of that
You take on the things to come as
Thing you hold in your heart past
You dream and sleep in the heart.
All telling, wordless, truthful, real.
A love foretold past all telling, you
Warrant except your smile and
The prophetess of the dream I had,
Your invitation to marry if we
You the truth in the night of false
Could but love, my life would
Hopes, false starts, blind dates and
Never wait so long again, so long
My miracle madness, youâ€™re the one
As I am with you, my principal you
That waited for me without knowing
Said, or was it principle? Our reason
Whom I might be, O! sure raceme of,
Or your all in all? In faith we hope,
O! surety of the avalanche, I too in my
In charity we find, and you giving,
Way waiting wait-less for the coming
Gave all to me and gave me a reason
Perfection and what we now call grace,
And the princess storied, light for my
Though of a time I only thought I knew
Nights, rest for my aching, sheltering
Not whence nor ever why but without
For my soul, in words without whys.
The unity of truth and goodness
Our home, and the works of love
And beauty is a moral quality I find
That we hope one day will teach us
In you: I told them so, if theyâ€™d but
To hold truth more gently, touch
Hear, of the thesis and theme of
Beauty but grazing it just so and
My song, the tomb of it I build
See with eyes of peace and desire
And with you we dig it and we
Mingled the joys of life together,
Build it, the foundation sure and
Of our communing, of our summer
The time full but almost never
Late and winter near, of our snows
Enough, we look to each other and
And the warmth we found despite
See Him in ourselves, where He
The cold of December the year I
Does not hide, but can be seen by
Began again and answered His call,
The things he has made, our love,
Because he said become who I am.
In our little way we abide, stay
Share it, give freely of your faith
Close, wait, watch, become the
And whatever else is asked of you,
Ones who sentinel for others, I see
As if the Beloved asks you Himself
You keeping faith in Him and me.
For the things He knows you can.
If we but keep it, though, what will
There is no other truth to the world
Become of that faith, must not we
Than our being obliged to love one
Make it grow? And so the stream
Another, to seek arrival, to shine
Of life would take our faith away.
Light, to show beauty, to act well.
The flower she sent she sent for You, because I asked, but it was For you, because you are a one that Is littler, very small and close to
The truth that God loves the little Things in life, that He does not Appreciate success, but sees us try Despite our failures and gives the
Very things we cannot live without Like love and light and the life of Which we could not give ourselves A day if it were not for His giving.
Turn then like a flower to that One And find in Him what she found, a Hope to bring her out of despair, And a large, calm, bright pleasure.
O! How you look in your pale Greens and pretty pinks and in Your lazurous purples, in shades of Red, and in the blacks and blues.
O! How you sound, so small, the Little one, and yet how you can tell Off the high and mighty and pull The wrathful princes from thrones
That do not suit the men of great Aggrandizement today, moneyed And eyeful, driving desire ninety Miles an hour to hell all in a hurry.
O! How you sleep the sleep of White snows and princess beauties, Of little girls, of fragility and deep, Deep peace, as a world unto Him.
Sing the solemnity, sing the grace, Sing the procession to the basilica Of Guadalupe, the site of your dear Baptism, singular moment of your
Consecration, of your en-ownment By Him, of your making to Her Your first profession, and knowing Thereafter only what she wanted You to know. O! Sing solemnity!
You added the salsa, you added the Salt, you added the spice and â€œsaborâ€? To me, salted me in love and then Peppered me with kisses and hope.
You put me up there in the stars And did not let me fall to earth, You said tell me the moon, so I told You, and when you asked, I did it
Again, told the moon to you, but Not for show but because you had Said that if I told you the moon You would tell me my own star.
That star you showed me a day Ago, near your moon, which shines Brighter, but by which it lays a line Of constellation with all the Heaven.
O! Solemn the muse, but not too
Sing to Her and of Her and do not
Somber, death cannot hold us, and
Worry what others think, for there
There is joy in our solemnity with
Are no others outside the circle of
Her, the one who brought us here.
The church which she is building for
O! If you would! Tell all and tell
Those who would kneel, nay, must
All yet again and leave nothing that
Kneel before crosses and altars and
Is unsaid, leave nothing to chance
Before the image of one whom God
And nothing to fate, but freely sing
Chose before time began to hold Him
Of the grace of ones above and
Within Her womb and then give Him
Even with us here as we speak and
To us, just as He gave Her to nations,
Spell and tell the story of a love
For the angels and for the saints, and
That has no other, and thus has all.
For the glories in a vessel of most pure
If truth be told, it remains true, but
Devotion, of the ark which bore more
The truth untold is a fiction good
Than the manna and more than the law,
For nothing. So say what you can,
Of the throne of the wisdom of the One
But sing the rest, singing for Her.
Who is and Who still is coming today.
Beside still waters saints abide,
Do not worry if God desires a pain
And we stay and remain in our task
For us, do not worry about whether
Of life. O the poor, O the little
God is good or the one all great
Ones who depend, O sentiments
Embracing principle. All in all.
Of sentinels alert in the word of
For this all in all is purely good
God, who have the mind of Christ
And does cause evil. That said,
And suffer with and in and through,
He willed the suffering of His Son
For all the little ones. I am for you.
And chastiseth all whom He calls..
Sufferings of Job you read and
Remember: God is LOVE, and is
Find the mystery of sin and pain
For us, and with Him for us, who
And wonder, did God comprehend
Can be against us? No one, nada,
Him? Did God cause the trouble in
Nothing besides. Evil may afflict
Life that all of us Jobs feel today?
And afflictions of life are real, yet
Let us say there is a higher reason
Our redeemer liveth, and the great
And we do not suffer in vain or in
Glory waiting for us outweighs far
Vanity but for His glory. Let it be.
All the trouble of the world as it is.
The One to come would have us as
Despite sins and pain, we have our
We are, in our need and pain and in
Lives and we have one hope, and
Our afflictions, for remember, He
One faith, and really our LOVE is
Chose it for Himself. Thus, Life is
Just one, in Him. Understand Him.
Good, and never to be forsaken.
He would be loved. He is needed,
Find the reason to go on living,
Although most care not, know not,
Not “as if” there is a purpose and
What they do, still there is a lack,
Goal, which is mere art for art’s
Even when we have no task or no
Sake, an aesthetic comfortableness
Trials to endure, an emptiness that
To keep us from the hell of known
We know only God fills. O My God!
And unknown fears and trials, the
If you would fill us with goodness,
Tribulations all must suffer for the
That you are, so that in humility and
Glory of God, but rather find the
In patience and in perseverance we
Real meaning of life, God and His
May wait with joy and hope for the
Plan for you personally, for He is
Revelations to come, declared in the
The reason for the way things are.
Book, but soon to be disclosed for
All flesh to wonder, to fear, to awe
Word, which comprehends us and
Over, to welcome or not, for that
Wants to be understood. So, know
Apocalypse we live, the unveiling
Little one, that in your sufferings
Of the reason for our faith, the true
He and all His saints too endured.
You sit or recline, eyes almost Closed, resting your frame for Awhile, till the tasks of life call You away to work, to run, to do.
But in your quiet moment of rest, Beside the still waters of the one Love that we share in, know I think Of you, and I am with you always.
You have been on my mind this
What we are now we hardly know,
Morning, and no bird sang, but you
So how would we know what we
Laughed when I called your name,
Will be? Yet we hope in the one
And no phone rang, but love bells
Promise of peace. O sender of the
Knelled, no deep tone, no dearth or
One peace that surpasses all of our
Death, but a reminder to call us to
Ability to understand, O, You, who
Greater appreciation of the way we
Sent us, send to Marinela Sentinela
Love and what we may become.
A greater than hoped for blessing.
Oh my little one, wanting to go to
Great Gift of life itself, which has a
Some place and to do some thing,
Glory of its own, which has a truth
You have found your miracle, you
Of its own, but for us, our lives are
Have found life in all our living.
Only what He makes us to be, for
But what then is life? The poets ask.
The glory that you do not see or seek
Happy are you if you are able to
Is what He will give, His own of His
Spell the question, if God grants
Very Self, His very own peace, His
You the capacity for wonder at His
Very glory, the single love we live.
Little gifts all in a row, your words And smiles bring me like signs and The way to my home I hope to find, With you a place of rest and peace.
Perhaps the points along the way Are not so restful, not so filled with That peace we desire, but God gives Us this life as the way, not the goal.
The way itself is a gift, but the gift Above all others is God Himself, The Giver gives Himself, and we Feel we know already this is true.
For religion is a kind of feeling of Faith as much as an assent to truth, And we depend on Jesus and Mary As children on their very parents.
O! The one life within us and Abroad! The poets cry, and find in Our lives one love unbreakable, an Unshattered, sheltering heart of
Being that is as much in the flesh As in a word, as much in the bread As in the light, as much in the true Smile of a child as in any teacher.
Time to go they say and you get up And make your way, but wait if You will, stay with me awhile and Hear the words I have for you,
Not so much have as do, as be or Become, a net work of words made Over by you, for you, inspiration of My songs without music or rhyme.
You, you did not say, you did not Say let me go, though I said that Much, and you, you stayed, though I might have wandered without.
Without you I am almost nothing, Next to nothing, but with you I Have a chance to win the light. You are so much you donâ€™t know.
O! Heavens above! The stars at
That we obtained in our own place
Night told of a great day to come,
That morning before dawn, that we
But we saw beauty not futurity,
Did stand and we did see, and knew
Not knowing that moral beauty is
That that was like the snowfall of
Even in the stars at night, in sun
The day before, a Gift from God,
And moon and all Godâ€™s creation.
Faintly falling, still falling faintly,
Tell all of His one love for all His
White stars, whiter snow, words,
Creatures, His love for each and
His words whitening the world.
Every star that he causes to burn in
On a brighter day we might have
Empty space, though not empty, for
Missed the meaning, though we
There is the connection of star to
Lived it, might have missed our turn.
Star that he makes for our benefit,
But today we knew without mistake.
Absolutely, there is no more abyss
Gives to those who gather the
That God did not cross for us in His
Fruits of the Spirit, the joy and
Own Crossing, no pit that was dug
Peace, in patience and self-control,
That He has not filled for those
In love not with imitation but with
Whom He loves, Mountains He
One initiation into the life of God.
Makes easy hills to climb, and
We hold all dear: All things I hold
Beauty He sets on the pathways
For you in this cup of words, from
For us to Amen! And Amen! In
Which I pour my heart toward you.
Adoring adornments and entertain
O! That the cup overflows right now
And yet so great Truths placed for
So that you will hear the word of love
Us along the way. O! the saving
He gave me to share, not to throw or
Truth of grace, O! the one love He
Scatter, but in these our reconciliation.
For anything bad there is
The truth of the Trinity and the all
Something that is good, but in
In all and the apocalypse and the
Heaven there are goods without
Twelfth and the seventh Heaven,
Any bad, and good without end.
And what we hope for, this will be.
Almost. He said I AM the limit,
What we hope for is not a number,
The beginning and the end of all.
But the number is a sign standing
We know our limits and to be with
For our reality, and numbers are the
Him we must complete our total.
Structure of the world to come too.
We must live the numbers of the
We all want to make a name for
Stations of our path and I went
Ourselves, and some do, and no
From five to six to zero to one to
One wants to be a number alone,
Three and then four, I could tell
Like a computation in the scheme
You, every number has a meaning,
Of a world system that denies our
But only seven of them are most
Truth for a lie of its own making.
Important to us, and in stability at
Nevertheless, everyone has both a
Our four square we will be taught
Name and a number. We are both.
The names may change and the
Truth is definite and can be
Numbers, too, but there is a reality
Numbered, obeys limits, and does
That is beside, underneath the signs
Not slip and slide, or grate, like
And that is the direction of them,
Words, but tells shapes of things
All pointing the way to assist us in
We will become as we realize all
Our journey for arrival. The mere
The points at once, all the signs
Indefinite is not a number, so the
Of names, places and things at One,
Deconstruction cannot be true
When we become in the all in all.
Words ring in your mind and you
O! Marinela Sentinela, watcher of
Try to hold them fast, though the
My life and of our life together, the
Thoughts slip away and words do
One life lived for Them, you are so
Not hold like the feeling of you.
Much more than what you know
Yet go over the words again and
And so much more than words can
Find a truth that may be what I
Say, but He said seek and find, and
Intended when I wrote them for
In a way I have sought you all my
You, or may be something else
Life, and whatever else I found I
He would have you to know, for
Found after finding Him at least in
He may well choose to convey
All the seeking and finding I found
More than I could ever know or
You, found you for your truth I say,
Hope to know with my own words.
Your passion, complexity and grace.
My own words? Like you, not
And in all, your all in all, your great
Mine, not mine, but only for a time,
Simplicity, littleness, held in a single
As if they were mine, yet still in the
Compass, gathered all my feeling, as
Giving of them made real for you.
the Virgin she was the whitest winter.
Your passion may tire and life
Do not bother to add to your own
Itself seem too complex, but if you
Simplicity and littleness, do not
Make the simple effort as I know
Worry over issues or the problems
You always have and think you
Of the world, yet remain in it with
Always will, then grace in your life
Hope, my sentinel, my witness for
Will not be lacking, and youâ€™ll find
The witness, my Heaven sent in the
The way, whether you know the
Midst of my Apocalypse, a sender,
Time or the place, your name or
An address, a destination, my little
Your number, for grace defines us,
All in all before the greater One to
Perfects us and completes us, to be
Come, where we will be found and
With Him in embrace, not a total
Say no more, the work is done, the
Count in the making, the plus one.
Truth is claro, perfecto, complete.
a poetic sequence on the woman, wife and mother