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4/23/10 entertainment 17

Who’s The Ultimate Bro?

In 2008 Mirador alum Garret Ley ‘08 defined a bro as “a 14 to 18-year-old male who likes to longboard, take off his shirt in public, wear pre-frayed clothing and “kick back” in the bed of his truck. You know, a bro.”Here at Miramonte, it is common for bros to talk about surfing (even if they don’t actually surf), wear puka shells, play N64 and use phrases like “bro-out” and “chill.” Seniors John Holland and Jake Nelson truly epitomize what it means to be a bro, but one question remains: Who’s the ultimate bro? —Jeremy Unger and Aleck Ryner

Jake Nelson

John Holland



Question Jake Nelson smiles for the cameras.

Volcano boarding*, so extreme.




Favorite sport Nickname: involving a board:

Volcano Boarding*

Kite Landboarding


Favorite Website:


Most over-used expression:


It Matters Bro (IMB)


Last Time You Went Surfing: (Main) gaming system: Most epic mo-mint: Extreme Sport of Choice: How many tanktops do you own? Favorite item at Nations: Word to describe you: Fourthmeal* destinaton:

When I visited Teahupo’o’s 50 foot swells.

I prefer spear-fishing

Nelson, although we doubt his claim

Xbox 360....LO


Holland, gottta preesh the Smash.

What John said



Shredding the Gnar*

Professional pillow fighting on ostriches

Nelson. Gotta go with the gnar.

Three, excluding lax pennies

A superfluous amount, too many to count

Holland, for his SAT vocab use.

Two egger scrambled with bacon and sourdough

Nelson, the extra egg is key.



Nelson, his word epitomizes a bro.

Chicken and Waffles


Holland, gotta go with the local eateries


Ian K. Cosco aka CHUG*

Mathew McConaughey


Favorite movie:

Dazed and Confused

Surfer Dude

Both win

What’s in your iPod? Mavericks or North Shore?: Illegal activity of choice:


Blink.* Duh.

Mavs, quicker commute

North Shore. Sorry bro, I’m Hawaiian.

next question.

no comment.

Favorite Attire:

Sperrys, skinny jeans, a chill-t, and the backwards hat, tilted of course.

Boardshorts, Vans, with Nike dryfits (or Sperrys), and Wayfarers.

Both Win

Ian Cosco, aka Chug.*

Triple egger



Tie Moving on...

La Piscina

Anywhere in a chill lawn chair

Holland, because of portability.

Biggest party foul*:

Bro H8ers

Armed Bullying

Too close to call

Nelson flips off cliffs during epic momintz.

John Holland

Height: 6’0” Weight: 160 Birthdate: March 31, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broies Quality of Tan: Brown year round Smash Character: Jigglypuff Shoes:Sperrys Brand:Vans

Jake Nelson

Height: 6’2” Weight: 160 Birthdate: February 13, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broquarius Quality of Tan: Nonexistent Smash Character: Fox Shoes:Sperrys Brand:RVCA

A thumbtack board in Holland’s room features the term 31337*.

Holland, without question

Place to “kick back:”

Personal Statistics

John Holland ponders the secrets to life.

Mathew McConaughey, “bro”lemodel.

*Learn the Bro-cabulary

Volcano Boarding: An extreme sport where the participant snowboards down the side of a volcano. N64: A videogame system released in the mid-90s, it is most well known for the classic “Super Smash Brothers” Fourthmeal: A late-night meal between dinner and breakfast. Popularized by Taco Bell. Nor Cal: Short for Northern California. Considered “hella sicker” than So Cal. Bro Cal: See Nor Cal. Shredding the Gnar: To snowboard/skateboard to one’s fullest potetial on difficult or challenging terrain. Szechwan: A Chinese food establishment in downtown Orinda, known for its famous potstickers. 31337: An upside down version of the word leet, which means very good or pro at something. Party foul: A socially unacceptable action committed during a party. Chug: The nickname of pro skier Ian K. Cosco, who travels the world skiing and engaging in multiple mishaps, which he blogs about on his website. Blink: Short for Blink 182, one of many bro bands. (Note: Ke$ha is not a bro musician.)

Winner: Chad “Bro-Chill” Zakskorn

Photos: J. Nelson, J. Holland, C. Zakskorn, MCT Campus

P. 17 Entertainment  

Shredding the Gnar* Volcano Boarding* Kite Landboarding Volcano boarding*, so extreme. Jake Nelson smiles for the cameras. Ian Cosco, aka Ch...

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