4/23/10 entertainment 17
Who’s The Ultimate Bro?
In 2008 Mirador alum Garret Ley ‘08 defined a bro as “a 14 to 18-year-old male who likes to longboard, take off his shirt in public, wear pre-frayed clothing and “kick back” in the bed of his truck. You know, a bro.”Here at Miramonte, it is common for bros to talk about surfing (even if they don’t actually surf), wear puka shells, play N64 and use phrases like “bro-out” and “chill.” Seniors John Holland and Jake Nelson truly epitomize what it means to be a bro, but one question remains: Who’s the ultimate bro? —Jeremy Unger and Aleck Ryner
Question Jake Nelson smiles for the cameras.
Volcano boarding*, so extreme.
Favorite sport Nickname: involving a board:
Most over-used expression:
It Matters Bro (IMB)
Last Time You Went Surfing: (Main) gaming system: Most epic mo-mint: Extreme Sport of Choice: How many tanktops do you own? Favorite item at Nations: Word to describe you: Fourthmeal* destinaton:
When I visited Teahupo’o’s 50 foot swells.
I prefer spear-fishing
Nelson, although we doubt his claim
Holland, gottta preesh the Smash.
What John said
Shredding the Gnar*
Professional pillow fighting on ostriches
Nelson. Gotta go with the gnar.
Three, excluding lax pennies
A superfluous amount, too many to count
Holland, for his SAT vocab use.
Two egger scrambled with bacon and sourdough
Nelson, the extra egg is key.
Nelson, his word epitomizes a bro.
Chicken and Waffles
Holland, gotta go with the local eateries
Ian K. Cosco aka CHUG*
Dazed and Confused
What’s in your iPod? Mavericks or North Shore?: Illegal activity of choice:
Mavs, quicker commute
North Shore. Sorry bro, I’m Hawaiian.
Sperrys, skinny jeans, a chill-t, and the backwards hat, tilted of course.
Boardshorts, Vans, with Nike dryfits (or Sperrys), and Wayfarers.
Ian Cosco, aka Chug.*
Tie Moving on...
Anywhere in a chill lawn chair
Holland, because of portability.
Biggest party foul*:
Too close to call
Nelson flips off cliffs during epic momintz.
Height: 6’0” Weight: 160 Birthdate: March 31, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broies Quality of Tan: Brown year round Smash Character: Jigglypuff Shoes:Sperrys Brand:Vans
Height: 6’2” Weight: 160 Birthdate: February 13, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broquarius Quality of Tan: Nonexistent Smash Character: Fox Shoes:Sperrys Brand:RVCA
A thumbtack board in Holland’s room features the term 31337*.
Holland, without question
Place to “kick back:”
John Holland ponders the secrets to life.
Mathew McConaughey, “bro”lemodel.
*Learn the Bro-cabulary
Volcano Boarding: An extreme sport where the participant snowboards down the side of a volcano. N64: A videogame system released in the mid-90s, it is most well known for the classic “Super Smash Brothers” Fourthmeal: A late-night meal between dinner and breakfast. Popularized by Taco Bell. Nor Cal: Short for Northern California. Considered “hella sicker” than So Cal. Bro Cal: See Nor Cal. Shredding the Gnar: To snowboard/skateboard to one’s fullest potetial on difficult or challenging terrain. Szechwan: A Chinese food establishment in downtown Orinda, known for its famous potstickers. 31337: An upside down version of the word leet, which means very good or pro at something. Party foul: A socially unacceptable action committed during a party. Chug: The nickname of pro skier Ian K. Cosco, who travels the world skiing and engaging in multiple mishaps, which he blogs about on his website. Blink: Short for Blink 182, one of many bro bands. (Note: Ke$ha is not a bro musician.)
Winner: Chad “Bro-Chill” Zakskorn
Photos: J. Nelson, J. Holland, C. Zakskorn, MCT Campus