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4/23/10 entertainment 17

Who’s The Ultimate Bro?

In 2008 Mirador alum Garret Ley ‘08 defined a bro as “a 14 to 18-year-old male who likes to longboard, take off his shirt in public, wear pre-frayed clothing and “kick back” in the bed of his truck. You know, a bro.”Here at Miramonte, it is common for bros to talk about surfing (even if they don’t actually surf), wear puka shells, play N64 and use phrases like “bro-out” and “chill.” Seniors John Holland and Jake Nelson truly epitomize what it means to be a bro, but one question remains: Who’s the ultimate bro? —Jeremy Unger and Aleck Ryner

Jake Nelson

John Holland

Epperson

Advantage

Question Jake Nelson smiles for the cameras.

Volcano boarding*, so extreme.

Nickname:

Epperson

J-Nel

Favorite sport Nickname: involving a board:

Volcano Boarding*

Kite Landboarding

Nelson

Favorite Website:

broslikethissite.com

blog.hellastoops.com

Holland

Most over-used expression:

JK

It Matters Bro (IMB)

Holland

Last Time You Went Surfing: (Main) gaming system: Most epic mo-mint: Extreme Sport of Choice: How many tanktops do you own? Favorite item at Nations: Word to describe you: Fourthmeal* destinaton:

When I visited Teahupo’o’s 50 foot swells.

I prefer spear-fishing

Nelson, although we doubt his claim

Xbox 360....LO

N64*

Holland, gottta preesh the Smash.

What John said

NCS POLO

Tie

Shredding the Gnar*

Professional pillow fighting on ostriches

Nelson. Gotta go with the gnar.

Three, excluding lax pennies

A superfluous amount, too many to count

Holland, for his SAT vocab use.

Two egger scrambled with bacon and sourdough

Nelson, the extra egg is key.

chill

tranquil

Nelson, his word epitomizes a bro.

Chicken and Waffles

Szechwan*

Holland, gotta go with the local eateries

“Bro”lemodel:

Ian K. Cosco aka CHUG*

Mathew McConaughey

Holland

Favorite movie:

Dazed and Confused

Surfer Dude

Both win

What’s in your iPod? Mavericks or North Shore?: Illegal activity of choice:

Ke$ha

Blink.* Duh.

Mavs, quicker commute

North Shore. Sorry bro, I’m Hawaiian.

next question.

no comment.

Favorite Attire:

Sperrys, skinny jeans, a chill-t, and the backwards hat, tilted of course.

Boardshorts, Vans, with Nike dryfits (or Sperrys), and Wayfarers.

Both Win

Ian Cosco, aka Chug.*

Triple egger

J-Holl

Tie

Tie Moving on...

La Piscina

Anywhere in a chill lawn chair

Holland, because of portability.

Biggest party foul*:

Bro H8ers

Armed Bullying

Too close to call

Nelson flips off cliffs during epic momintz.

John Holland

Height: 6’0” Weight: 160 Birthdate: March 31, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broies Quality of Tan: Brown year round Smash Character: Jigglypuff Shoes:Sperrys Brand:Vans

Jake Nelson

Height: 6’2” Weight: 160 Birthdate: February 13, 1992 Brostrological Sign: Broquarius Quality of Tan: Nonexistent Smash Character: Fox Shoes:Sperrys Brand:RVCA

A thumbtack board in Holland’s room features the term 31337*.

Holland, without question

Place to “kick back:”

Personal Statistics

John Holland ponders the secrets to life.

Mathew McConaughey, “bro”lemodel.

*Learn the Bro-cabulary

Volcano Boarding: An extreme sport where the participant snowboards down the side of a volcano. N64: A videogame system released in the mid-90s, it is most well known for the classic “Super Smash Brothers” Fourthmeal: A late-night meal between dinner and breakfast. Popularized by Taco Bell. Nor Cal: Short for Northern California. Considered “hella sicker” than So Cal. Bro Cal: See Nor Cal. Shredding the Gnar: To snowboard/skateboard to one’s fullest potetial on difficult or challenging terrain. Szechwan: A Chinese food establishment in downtown Orinda, known for its famous potstickers. 31337: An upside down version of the word leet, which means very good or pro at something. Party foul: A socially unacceptable action committed during a party. Chug: The nickname of pro skier Ian K. Cosco, who travels the world skiing and engaging in multiple mishaps, which he blogs about on his website. Blink: Short for Blink 182, one of many bro bands. (Note: Ke$ha is not a bro musician.)

Winner: Chad “Bro-Chill” Zakskorn

Photos: J. Nelson, J. Holland, C. Zakskorn, MCT Campus


P. 17 Entertainment