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ISSUE #2 - FEBRUARY 2014


COAST T


TO COAST


IN THE RUMOUR MILL

- Buffalo is looking to move Erik Cole and Mason Raymond for a better carryover player in NHL 14. (e4) - San Jose is looking to move Martin Erat or TJ Galiardi along with a depth winger for a better carryover. (e3) - Tampa Bay looking to offer you a random prospect for your top 6 winger. (e1) - Montréal has Sean Bergenheim and Ryan Malone on the block, looking to deal one with a depth defenceman for an upgrade on defence. (e4) - Source tells me that David Booth is very unhappy in Winnipeg (who wouldn’t be) and is looking to move out of there as soon as possible (e2) - Columbus is looking for a centreman and is willing to deal Nick Leddy or Tom Gilbert to get one. (e5) - Columbus is also looking to deal Ondrej Pavelec for the right price. (e3) - Anze Kopitar is being scouted for “LOBNHL Magazine: The Body issue” (e2) - Los Angeles has Malcolm Subban, Sergei Kostitsyn and Alex Petrovic on the block. (e5) - New Jersey has Roy, Wheeler, Kulemin, Gillies and Hamonic on the block! (e3) - Colorado has Goligoski and Enstrom on the block (e2)


SY: Winnipeg (@coleyhype) again, that was an extremely fun series why not do it again. Other than that Philadelphia (@VancityJC), he plays so wide open it’s always fun. GM: Buffalo. Every time I play Buffalo (@BaryGettmanLOB) that freak Myers gets a pass in the slot in the last minute from Gaborik or Yakupov or Hodgson or Rusty or Jerome or Little Sprout or Billy Crystal and breaks my already fragile heart. If not Buffalo, just anyone but Florida (@Justen8). If Dale and I ever spend 2 full weeks in the same cities someone’s ending up dead. And it wouldn’t be me or Tallon. Are we done? Where’s that drink you promised?


Kesler. The Fragrance.


HELMETS

HELMETS

CLARK

Well, well, well. To say understatement. Final league! I’d like to than Magazine, the venerab Henderson for this opp Now that all of that BS

WITH THE OUTSPOKEN KYLE CLARKE


KEY’S CORNER

y I’ve been waiting a long time for this would be an lly a forum to express my many opinions on this nk the visionary and founder of #LOBNHL The ble Marc Bergevin, or as normal people call him Matt portunity. I will not let you down friend. S is done, lets talk some #LOBNHL! @KYLECLARKE_014


#1 - THE CROS

HELMETS

HELMETS

The Carolina Hurricanes and Anaheim Ducks hooked minor seismic activity around the league. Sidney Cr many, along with Victor Fasth was dealt to Carolina Hamilton, Steve Ott, and Matt Cooke. There was quit for Anaheim, and to be honest, I have to disagree w skilled 86 OVR C in Tavares who should have a carry SPD making him play like an 85-86 OVR + Milan M who seems to always be injured, and will likely hav Dougie Hamilton: a 73 OVR prospect project D who with decent potential. I’m not even going to include average 3rd + 4th liners respectively, and I don’t be Anaheim. Is this what the premier player in the gam


SBY TRADE

d up for a blockbuster this week that triggered rosby the best player in the game according to in return for John Tavares, Milan Michalek, Dougie te a few GM’s around the league that liked this deal with them. Essentially Carolina gave up a slow, but y over OVR of 88-89 in 14 but IMO will still have 84 Michalek: a speedy but soft sniper with low durability ve a decreased carry over OVR of 82-83 in 14 + should get a bit of a boost in 14 likely 77-78 OVR e Ott + Cooke in this discussion as they are above elieve either of them will be carry over players for me is worth these days?


#2 - TALLON G HELMETS

HELMETS

Can we talk about what is happening down in Fl ally think old man Tallon has officially lost his m his team has the worst fan attendance average in formerly known as the Tampa Bay Devil Rays? H stead of telegraph/fax machine to communicate personally, I think it’s because he’s old. He just c one game. Whether it’s trading Zach Parise after ing his new starter Ilya Bryzgalov available after tion “The worst trade I’ve ever made” it’s clear to out Tallon!


GONE WILD?

lorida for a second? I’ve said it before, but I remind. Could it be the heat? The realization that n a market that includes a baseball franchise Him struggling to adjust to using his iPhone ine with other GM’s? All definite possibilities, but can’t seem to stick with a roster for more than r one game because “I like Gagne more” or makr one albeit rough game proclaiming his acquisio me Dale has officially become senile. Figure it


Fellow LOBNHL’rs

It has been two seasons that LOB has run under my esteemed excellence, an We saw the firing of two GM’s. One for toe dragging and the other for talkin school girls. One was an angry guy who probably tied up high school girls i one who would end conversations with “Wyatt will be notified.” One who w you 89 DM’s, then e-mail you, then phone your last known residence, just t

Regardless, both are gone (one more than the other), and we all fondly (one We also saw another GM get fired because he was simply too good. A day d hated playing the original Phoenix GM. Eventually he was forced into early still talks fondly of the day the Phoenix GM told him to “bite the curb” and

Then we’ve had the ups and downs of EA injuries. EA’s inability to tell you a knowing. EA’s ability to make love to you without any lube. EA has been ou 30 seconds it took you to read that sentence, Dave lost 4 guys to injuries.

We’ve also seen the Flyers triumphant win in season 2, despite the presenc Though they rocked LOB to it’s very core, we survived, nay, we persevered, a What does season 3 hold for us? I truly don’t know. I can only hope it will h season 3 ends without a new #DERPED occurring, then we have truly failed All I do know is, STOP FUCKING ASKING ME ABOUT THE BUTTON PUSH. Yours truly,

Bary Gettman Bary Gettman


nd during that time, we have seen many an exciting event. ng about toe dragging. One was a laid back dude who enjoyed high in his basement. One would often end conversations with “lol” and would often take forever to respond to trades. One who would send to ensure a deal went down as planned.

e more than the other) remember their time with us. didn’t go by where I didn’t have an e-mail or DM about how much they y retirement, but as with the other GM’s, we wish him well. Montreal stomped him to a 14-2 loss….

about your cap space. EA’s ability to do roster moves without you ur best friend, our lover, our nemesis, our arch villain. Fun fact, in the

ce of Fatigue Gate 2013 and Colorado GM is a Douche 2013 scandals. and came out the better for it. have more fights. More anger. And more hash tags being created. If as a league.


Fellow LOBNHL’rs

It has been two seasons that LOB has run under my esteemed excellence, an We saw the firing of two GM’s. One for toe dragging and the other for talkin school girls. One was an angry guy who probably tied up high school girls i one who would end conversations with “Wyatt will be notified.” One who w you 89 DM’s, then e-mail you, then phone your last known residence, just t

Regardless, both are gone (one more than the other), and we all fondly (one We also saw another GM get fired because he was simply too good. A day d hated playing the original Phoenix GM. Eventually he was forced into early still talks fondly of the day the Phoenix GM told him to “bite the curb” and

Then we’ve had the ups and downs of EA injuries. EA’s inability to tell you a knowing. EA’s ability to make love to you without any lube. EA has been ou 30 seconds it took you to read that sentence, Dave lost 4 guys to injuries.

We’ve also seen the Flyers triumphant win in season 2, despite the presenc Though they rocked LOB to it’s very core, we survived, nay, we persevered, a What does season 3 hold for us? I truly don’t know. I can only hope it will h season 3 ends without a new #DERPED occurring, then we have truly failed All I do know is, STOP FUCKING ASKING ME ABOUT THE BUTTON PUSH. Yours truly,

Bary Gettman Bary Gettman


nd during that time, we have seen many an exciting event. ng about toe dragging. One was a laid back dude who enjoyed high in his basement. One would often end conversations with “lol” and would often take forever to respond to trades. One who would send to ensure a deal went down as planned.

e more than the other) remember their time with us. didn’t go by where I didn’t have an e-mail or DM about how much they y retirement, but as with the other GM’s, we wish him well. Montreal stomped him to a 14-2 loss….

about your cap space. EA’s ability to do roster moves without you ur best friend, our lover, our nemesis, our arch villain. Fun fact, in the

ce of Fatigue Gate 2013 and Colorado GM is a Douche 2013 scandals. and came out the better for it. have more fights. More anger. And more hash tags being created. If as a league.


LOBNHL The Magazine 2