We Are Family Time Together Builds More Than Memories The Christensen boys play basketball—a lot of it. And they can be seen in the stands at each other’s games watching intently and keeping track of the score in the family’s official game book. Attending and watching their siblings’ games is part of who they are. It’s part of their family identity. Family identity is a central expression of our values. As such it can be a positive tool in parenting, when approached with purpose through shared experiences. Family identity can create not only a sense of belonging, but also a means for affirming our values, providing a buffer against peer pressure for kids, clarifying our goals for our children and providing an opportunity for our children to identify their own personal goals. Here’s how you can make the most of your family’s time together (and a few tips on fun ways to influence your family’s identity).
Unity and Belonging
Positive family identity results from actively participating in life together, not simply occupying the same space. This involved togetherness creates a sense of unity and belonging. And as author Mary Beth Hicks says in her book Bringing Up Geeks, “belonging is especially crucial for children as they develop a sense of self. Kids need the support and encouragement of their families as they explore and establish their personalities and character.”
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www.metrofamilymagazine.com | February 2012
Janice Christensen takes this responsibility seriously in her family. “We go together to as much as we can—people see us around town as a group. They know the Christensens are around.” Mom of four, Karen Kurtz agrees. “If possible, we participate in activities that involve more than one child at a time.”
Identity Shapers:
Many factors contribute to creating your identity as a family. Some factors to consider:
• Shared passions. A sport, a hobby, a common ability (you could be a singing family, gymnastics family or a bookworm family). • Traditions. How you celebrate holidays and special occasions, where you spend vacations and what you do there and foods that you eat make up your family’s traditions. • Parents’ backgrounds. Religious, ethnic, geographic, educational (such as Catholic, Irish or Texan)