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METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

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Editor In Distress Well I’m still car less, so now I know how some of my friends feel when they get stuck at home. Russell picked me up on Thursday or Friday (I forget days sometimes). Got some work done at the office and went with him as he drove his cute neighbor, CK, around to various clubs so she could apply for a waitress job. She ended up getting hired that night by Bombshells Cabaret, so celebrated with a few beers and tipped some of the ladies while we were there. Luckily there was a last minute show with The Loosies, The Splicers and Just Another Consumer set up at Muddy Waters (4314 Live Oak St, Dallas), which is around the corner from my house, last Saturday. So I invited a few friends over to the house before the show to get the alcohol buzz going and then we walked literally around the corner to the bar. One of the really cool things about Muddy Waters is that their shows are always free, so it encourages people to come out and drink instead of staying home. Which saves you money, but is bad for the economy. They are able to host free shows is by requiring the bands to bring a PA instead of the venue hiring a sound guy. I really think some small bars should do this more often. Plus it seems to help Metro ANE Magazine the show move faster.

2462 Walnut Ridge St. Dallas, TX 75229 Phone: 214-638-6397 Fax: 214-638-2232 www.metroane.com Publisher: Ali Stout ali@anemagazine.com Production Manager: Russell Craig sales@anemagazine.com Editor: Gil Russell gil@anemagazine.com Inside Sales: Sheila Blue sheila@anemagazine.com Outside Sales: Colleen Morgan colleen@anemagazine.com

Contributors: Richard Hunter, Gil Russell, Colleen Morgan, Pat “Two Dogs” Snow, Scotty Mankoff, OJ Tobias, Mike Wilshin, Jayson Champion, Chapel Waste, Misha Morê, Richard Harmon, Vivienne Vermuth, Blake and Zamra Contributing Photographers: Mike Wilshin, Misha Morê, DV8 Questions or comments about the magazine can be sent to editor@anemagazine.com. Questions about advertisemet may be directed to sales@anemagazine. com.

Having you gotten your UFC 103 tickets yet? No, you better get on it before they sell out. If you’re an mma fan, you gotta go because it could be years before we see the UFC in Dallas again. Plus you got Rich Franklin fighting recently signed Vitor Belfort, Cro Cop fighting Junior De Los Santos, the return of “Twinkle Toes” Frank Trigg and lots more. Can’t wait till then for your UFC fix. Well, just our luck because UFC 101: Declaration is this Saturday on pay per view. If you don’t feel like watching at home, where your bro’s will make a mess, then head out to Spearmint Rhino or Silver City. Than you can have a hot lady on your lap as you cheer your favorite fighter, plus both are having specials during the fights. Also don’t forget about WEC 42: Torres vs. Bowles on the Versus channel this Sunday, August 9. Miguel Torres is one of my favorite fighters and as Two Dogs says, this event will be a “barn burner”. I’m so bummed and pissed that UFC wasn’t able to sign Fedor Emelianenko after the demise of Affliction Fighting. He really needs to be in the UFC so he can build an American fan base and fight the best heavyweights. Instead he’ll be with Strikeforce where he’ll fight subpar opponents, though I would like to see him fight Brett Rogers. Hopefully Fedor will smarten up and get rid of his manager so he can land in the UFC after the Strikeforce contract is finished. -Gil Tha Thrill gil@anemagazine.com (Picture by Scotty Mankoff)

The Lodge - Edward Moss, the world’s leading Michael Jackson im-

personator, will make his first visit to Dallas since the singer’s passing to host The Lodge’s “Back to the ‘80s” VIP Party on Tuesday, August 18. Spearmint Rhino - UFC 101 at 9pm on Saturday, August 8. $200 bottle specials, $10 dances in between fights and 25 cent wings during fights. Club Onyx - $7 T-bone and baked potato on Wednesday. Ms. Peaches Famous Soul Food Buffet free every Friday from noon to 3pm. 10557 Wire Way, Dallas Silver City - Free Vegas style buffet on Tuesdays and Thursdays 11am-2pm. Charity car was Thursday, August 14 from 5-7pm. 7501 Stemmons, Dallas. King’s Cabaret - $10 table dances and $3.50 wells and domestic beers from 11am-4pm. 1602 Market Center Blvd, Dallas. Bombshell Cabaret - $5 cover from 6-8pm. $10 dances and cover Sunday thru Thursday. BYOB. 2444 Walnut Ridge, Dallas

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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It’s Hard To Find a Good Donkey Show The Weekly Adventures Of OJ Tobias

To Paul or not to Paul...

As a long time Rock Slut, I have been, well, spoiled. Not to brag, but this is the girl who saw Pearl Jam and White Zombie at Trees back in the day where I was in a crowd of less than fifty bodies. Rob Zombie was so close to me I smelled his road stench... ewwww! Even when the house is packed, if it’s a smaller venue, I will be at the front of the stage, speakers blasting in my ear, big grin on my face. In the 1980s, it was fun to go to Texas Stadium and sweat amongst the tens of thousands to get my ZZ Top or my Rolling Stones fix. I was younger, and not so apt to pass out. Hell, when KISS did their first reunion tour, I had seats in the nosebleed but also had a photo pass so my closer-to-thee-O-Gene was satisfied in the pit during the first three songs. But now that I am closer to old than young (I turn 47 this coming Sunday), the idea of going to a show where the artist I want to see will be the size of an ant just doesn’t appeal. Sure, the Mighty McCartney will be splayed across the biggest screen TVs known to man in the new Cowboys Stadium, but it’s not the same. I want to be so close that, if he happens to spray some spittle accidentally while he’s singing, it hits me in the eye. Curiosity got the better of me and I went to the ever-reliable craigslist.org to check out seats and prices. Hey, here is a post for four seats in Section F on the floor, Row 7 Seats 15-18 and they are only... $1,800.00! Praise the Rock Goddesses that the price includes a parking pass! WTF?!?!? Unless Sir McC is going to service me with his, uh, Uncle Albert, that is much too much for this lowly broke Rock Slut. Keep searching... here are some in Section 328, Row 15, seats 34-37 at only $150 each with good parking, and those are the absolute cheapest I could find. After about a half hour, I am disheartened at the realization that my bank account is standing between myself and my second favorite Beatle. It is apparent to me that there is no way in hell I am going to the concert. After a few moments of thought, I came up with an alternate plan: I am going to go to the nearest record store (yes, I said record, as in LP), and I will take my no-ticket-to-ride money and buy every damn Beatles and Wings record I don’t already own, jet to the liquor store and my pot dealer’s house for some kind bud. Upon returning home, I will print out a tiny picture of Paul, set it as far away from my couch as possible, crank up the tunes and pretend that I am at the show. And I thought the only lonely place was on the moon...

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It was 9:30 am and I woke up hung over at my Dad’s RV. The first thing I had to do was take a shit. It was fantastic. Let me tell you-- if you have never had the opportunity to crap in an RV, you are one of the unfortunate. That is, if you live in a Third World country where they don’t have toilets and you have to shit while you squat on the ground and then wipe with a banana or some shit. What I always wonder is, like, the dudes in Saudi Arabia with all that sand... it’s like a giant litter box. What do they wipe with? Their hand, then rub sand all over it, then peel it off like a cat turd...?   Anyway, after I unloaded, I went to my house. As I walked around all five bedrooms, I decided that I needed to hang out here more than with Dad. All I needed was some electricity and running water. I’d been hanging with Dad a lot since he, too, is getting a divorce. He acts like it is a bad thing. He also spends a lot of his time doing bullshit, like working at his job, which is, frankly, embarrassing. People ask me, “What does your Dad do?” and I gotta tell them, “He has a real good job.” Then they’re like “A job, really?”  I usually walk away by then. But I still love Pops, even for his shortcomings like, he works hard, doesn’t steal from his boss or family, and barely drinks.   After the small revelation, I loaded up a bunch of shit and took it to the one place that smells better than the RV: the dump. Same ol’ shit there. Little to report. Fell asleep. Dump Dude said, “Pull up your pants and stop sleeping in the Port-o-John.” F**k, I’d been drinking since 9:30 and it was almost 11am. I needed the nap.   Then the big adventure occurred. Some Mexicani chick rear ended me, not in the good or gay way, but in the traffic way. I was stopped at the light waiting for it to turn and out of nowhere she plowed into me. But even though I was stationary and I was not moving, I get to go to jail because I was drunk at a stop light. That was pretty f**ked up, I thought. www.myspace.com/ojtobias

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Live Shows and Events Double-Wide (myspace.com/thedoublewidebar) Fri. 08/07: TV Torso (Austin), The Burgundys Sat. 08/08: Whiskey Folk Ramblers, Sangre Sangre (LA), Empty Orchestra (Flint, MI) Tue. 08/11: DJ Dirty Cha Cha O’RILEY’S (www.myspace.com/orileys2003) Fri. 08/07: Crimson Thirst, Sucker Punch, Revengence, Heirs of Salvation Sat. 08/08: Backflap, The Witty Bastards, Fracas, American Strange, Another Year Colder Reno’s Chop Shop (myspace.com/renoschopshop) Every Wednesday: DJ Virus spins 80’s Every Thursday: Jerry Rutherford Spins Rock Fri. 08/07: Torch Entertainment Birthday Show Sat. 08/08: Southern Backtones, The Felons Lola’s Saloon (myspace.com/lolasfortworth) Fri. 08/07: Abigail Williams w/ Goatwhore, Abysmal Down, S.W.A.A.T.T.S SKILLMAN STREET BAR (www.myspace.com/skillmanstreetbar) Fri. 08/07: Primer 55, Mad Mexicans, Swingin’ Dicks, The Phuss, Six Days, The House Harkonnen Sat. 08/08: S.A.O., Hellgoat, Hemlock, Southern Assualt & Check the List Sun. 08/09: Frenik, Ego, Flannel Mouth, Kardiff, Life After, Twice Broken Poor David’s Pub (www.poordavidspub.com) Wed. 08/05: Oen Mic hosted by Glitter Rose Thu. 08/06: Ginger Leigh, Noelle Hampton Fri. 08/07: Don Burke’s 20th Annual BabyBoomer Bash The Curtain Club (www.curtainclub.com) Fri. 08/07: Air Review, Radiant, Baron Fox, Calvin Chenowyth & Ian Miles Sat. 08/08: Paco Estrada and One Love, Darcy, Jude The Innocent, Cabrio The Liquid Lounge (In The Curtain Club) Fri. 08/07: The Soapbox Radio, EKB, Third Man On The Match, Mikey Ohlin

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Sat. 08/08: Alias Brown, Melody Memory, Jai Fix, Sumthin Fierce SONS OF HERMANN HALL (www.sonsofhermann.com) Tue. : Blues ‘n’ the Night Wed.: Swing Dance Thu.: Electric Campfire Acoustic Jam Fri. 08/07: Art Conspiracy Benefit Sat. 08/08: Porter Davis CD Release Party LAKEWOOD BAR AND GRILL (www.lbgdallas.com) Wed. 08/05: Waiting For One, Emmeline Thur. 08/06: Blanket Of M, Antidote For Irony Fri. 08/07: Gary Kyle And The No Standards Band, David Cote Band, Taz Bentley, Waiting For One THE PEARL (www.pearlatcommerce.com) Wed. 08/05: Rick Yost and The Sofakings Thu. 08/06: Geoff Bartley Fri. 078/07: Freddie Jones Sat. 08/08: Smokin’ Joe Kubek, Bnois King, Mike Morgan, Anson Funderburgh Mon. 08/10: Miss Marcy and her Texas Sugar Daddies Tue. 08/11: The Rebel Alliance Jazz Ensemble MUDDY WATERS (myspace.com/muddywatersongreenville) Fri. 08/07: STRATAKATZ Sat. 08/08: J-Kid Holden Records CLUB DADA (www.clubdada.com) Thu. 08/6: The Holocaust Humanity, Aspersion, Ceremony One Fri. 08/07: David Cote Sat. 08/08: Method Entertainment presents a benefit for Dave Perry Sun. 08/09: SubCity Vamp, White Rhino, Sloan Automatic, The Missus THE GOAT (7248 Gaston Ave., Dallas 214-327-8119) Wed. 08/05: Josh Bramhall Thu. 08/06: Pete Barbeck JAM Fri. 08/07: Rock Blues Band Sat. 08/08: Luau Larry & Sandcrabs Mon. 08/10: Tony DeCicco, Perry Jones Jam Tue. 08/11: The 77’s

No Go: Paramount Won't Show Critics `G.I. Joe' It's the biggest movie of the summer that practically no one has seen. "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" opens Friday, but Paramount Pictures isn't screening the blockbuster for critics beforehand. Only a select few writers from blogs and movie Web sites have seen it for review — such as Harry Knowles, the self-professed "Head Geek" from Ain't It Cool News — and their opinions have been mostly positive. Instead, the studio says it's intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles. Paramount held a screening Friday for 1,000 military service members and their families at Andrews Air Force Base; it's also focusing marketing efforts in places like Kansas City, Charlotte, N.C., and Columbus, Ohio. While appealing to a sense of patriotism nationwide, the plan also is inspired by the disparity that existed between the critical trashing "Transformers: Rise of the Fallen" received and the massive crowds it drew at the box office. "`G.I. Joe' is a big, fun, summer event movie — one that we've seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz.," said Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures. "After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2' between the

response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.' We want audiences to define this film." With a reported production budget of $175 million and a cast that includes Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Marlon Wayans and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "G.I. Joe" follows the adventures of an elite team using high-tech spy and military equipment to take down a corrupt arms dealer. It comes from director Stephen Sommers, whose previous films include "The Mummy" and "Van Helsing." Long before anyone saw the completed product, though, "G.I. Joe" drew mixed buzz at best for its trailer, which premiered during the Super Bowl. Now it's the final action picture of the summer — and it has a lot in common with the highestgrossing film so far this year, the "Transformers" sequel. Both are effects-laden spectacles based on Hasbro toys and both are Paramount releases from producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura. "Transformers" has gone on to gross more than $388 million in the United States alone since its opening six weeks ago, despite receiving just 20 percent positive reviews on the Web site Rotten Tomatoes, a critical aggregator. The withholding of "G.I. Joe" from mainstream critics suggests that the studios believe they can succeed at the box office without them.

Roger Daltrey Plots Rare North American Solo Tour

With the Who inactive for the moment, Roger Daltrey is gearing up to launch his first solo tour of North America since 1985. The Use It Or Lose It theater trek -- a nod to the 65-year-old singer's vocal cords -- kicks off October 10 in Vancouver, B.C., and runs through November 30 in Clearwater, Fla. Daltrey will dust off material from his nine solo albums, some covers (he's previously preformed songs by Queen, Paul McCartney and Bruce Springsteen) and, of course, a generous selection of Who favorites. "I feel so passionate about (Who guitarist/songwriter Pete) Townshend's music, what he wrote and his standing in the big scheme of things," Daltrey told Billboard.com. "I love playing Townshend's music old, new, whatever." Daltrey said the Who had "no intention of stopping"

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

but that after more than 45 years together he's learned to be patient. "I think Pete's got every intention of writing more new Who stuff," Daltrey said, "but he hates to say that until he's actually written it 'cause it's in the lap of the gods, isn't it? I wish I could write it, 'cause we'd be doing it tomorrow. But, sadly, I'm not the writer that Townshend is. One genius is enough in a band.... You just have to be there for him if he needs you. That's my function. I'm just an instrument for him, and...I'm quite happy with that." Daltrey, meanwhile, is not ruling out the possibility of another solo album, though he hasn't released one since 1992's "Rocks in the Head." Townshend's younger brother Simon Townshend, a touring guitarist with the Who, will accompany Daltrey on the tour, along with guitarist and musical director Frank Simes, keyboardist Loren Gold, bassist Jon Button and drummer Scott Devours.

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it within the company.” Sure, until you realize that he was actually in league with “the boss” making sure that he was protected from a populist uprising. Not exactly the way that the common man listener was led to believe it was around there, to say the least.

Richard Hunter hosts “The Richard Hunter Show” 4-6pm weekdays on 1360 AM Dallas. In all of the years that I have worked in radio, there are only two people that I have encountered that I would publicly criticize. Not a bad ratio for such a screwed up business, I must say. One of them was a guy I worked for, and the other is a guy I worked with. I say I worked with Russ Martin because we were employed by the same station at the same time, but in reality, saying that we worked together would be a practical exaggeration. Over the couple of years that our radio shows were housed under the same roof, he never spoke a word to me and I was told by management never to speak to him. “Don’t speak to him, and certainly don’t speak about him in any negative sense.” That directive went one way, by the way. The guy was totally protected, which is a scenario of an unfair advantage that I always thought any self-respecting man would be uncomfortable with. The memories of this albatross of a peer that had laid dormant since our mutual radio station had shown us both the door as part of a radical format flip came rushing back this past week when Richie Whitt published a much anticipated cover story on the matter in The Dallas Observer. I was quoted, as was my current co-worker Pugs Moran. It’s debatable as to which of us has more resentment for this simpleton, but after much reflection I have concluded that mine originates from a more practical place. I took the opportunity to expose the fact that I routinely witnessed the fabrication of Martin’s

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Russ Martin Remembered. Fondly Is Not An Applicable Adjective. supposed on ity, what a let air outlandish down. shenanigans as being nothA few days afing more that ter the article sound effects hit the stands, being played I received an into microemail from a phones to nice woman simulate varinamed Stefous explosions fani. Russ and specand I have in tacles. When her a mutual the boss’ desk fan (I’m not was suppossure what that edly being says about ignited inside me), and she "The supposed boss' desk explosion" his office as was disaphe screamed pointed that I “noooo!” into a microphone, it was in reality a small had attacked her fallen hero. Fallen in the sense old filing cabinet set up in the employee parking that after pleading no contest to beating the hell lot with some live fireworks thrown in one of the out of his ex-girlfriend last year, he was fired shortdrawers…how provocative. As a life long admirer ly thereafter from his radio show and has since of the eccentric genius of Andy Kaufman, I revered been silenced by contractual restrictions. She told the commitment of a true performance artist. This me that she didn’t care if his “bits” were faked, as was nothing more than an unremarkable guy from she was still entertained. Another listener named Pleasant Grove perpetrating a rouse on an un- Jason asserted that “Russ' gag of giving (his boss) suspecting major radio market so that they would hell was great for every common guy who hates think they were dealing with the reclusive mystery his job and his boss and just wants a chance to of the second coming of Howard Hughes. In real- get revenge, but does not have the leverage to do

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At any rate, I realized this past week that I probably misdirected the real point of frustration felt by others and myself that worked so hard to keep the old Live 105.3 afloat, long after Martin’s ratings had plummeted out of contention. It really came down to a business equation. With Martin’s refusal to do public appearances, let alone remote location broadcasts, the loss of potential revenue was unimaginable (Of course, broadcasting in public would reveal the fraudulent premise on which the aforementioned nonsense was based upon). Couple that with the fact that he refused to allow any other show or station event to be promoted in his time slot, and the theoretical advantages of having a strong afternoon drive presence to benefit the rest of your station’s programming were lost in one insecure prima donna’s obstinance. The result was like a sports car that you’re upside down on. It seemed like a cool idea when you bought it, but over time as it racked up miles and lost it’s luster, you slowly realized that the payments were more than you were bringing in, and that aging gas guzzler was depreciating by the day. In the end, you had a money pit that was cost prohibitive to even back out of the driveway. When you look back on something that was otherwise as cool as that station was, it’s hard not to be a little bitter that one person was given the power to bring it down from within. Log on to richardhuntershow.com

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METRO ANE SPORTS Well, gang, in our sometimes every once in a while effort to relinquish (boy, that’s an odd word, no?) our hold on email that stacks up like bees swarming over a hive, it’s time to toss a whole pile at ya. As is my wish to avoid conflict with those beings that reside on places other than the planet earth, I don’t respond to the letters about aliens. As I also figure it’s none of my business, I don’t stick my nose into players private lives unless it’s something that would directly affect the game. Yes, I’ll discuss banned substances, no, I won’t talk about girlfriends. Let’s ride. Two Dogs: With how bad the Cowboys were last year I figure that sucking noise we heard is what started those earthquakes down in Cleburne. You think how bad the Mav’s are gonna be this year it’ll create a huge sinkhole and drop the whole town? Range Finder Dallas RF: If only the Mav’s had your sense of humor. TD Two Dogs: I bet you can’t stand it that the Rangers are doing so good despite all your bad comments about them!! I bet that face you see in the mir-

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ror each morning is getting harder to look at each day!! I hope you have more class than to jump on the bandwagon like some of those reporters up there now that they’re winning. Cerise Midlothian

dude like injured? Isn’t he a little skinny to play at the pro level, and won’t he have trouble with the advanced playbook? Shouldn’t he have played his senior year? Chuck Ft Worth

feet of air between you and the ground, it don’t make any difference what your gender is. You better have hit that hill right and know what you’re doin’, or that ground is gonna greet you awfully damn hard. TD

Cerise: The Rangers do well or poor on their own, I have nothing to do with that. Darlin’, I quit lookin’ in the mirror years ago, the light reflecting off the bald pate was blinding me. There isn’t any bandwagon to jump on yet, in case you haven’t noticed the season’s still on and it’s a long way to the playoffs. There’s now plenty of teams jockeying for the wild card positions, and I think this team has a shot at that. I still believe that next season should be not only a winning season, but they should go deep in the postseason. TD

Chuck: As of this writing Crabtree was still a hold out for a better contract. Because of a foot injury he never participated in any of the off season camps, and from the looks of it the Niner’s suspected he was going to hold out. I’m guessing your suggesting he’ll have trouble with the new playbook since that offense is different than what Leach runs, but he shouldn’t have any more of a learning curve than any other rookie. San Francisco believes MC has TO’s receiver skills without his attitude, but they’re quickly finding he’s more than a fledgling prima donna. TD

Two Dogs: Now that Placico Burress got indicted for shotting hmselv with a gun, what happens? Whjy didn’t that other Giant, Pierce, get in trouble? I don’t think Burress should be in trouble because he shot just him not nobody other. Javier Oak Cliff

Two Dogs: Tony Romo said something I didn’t get. He was talking how practice was more important than games, and that if they kept stacking days together they’d add up at the end of the year. What the heck did he mean by that? Didn’t that confuse them? Bob Weatherford Bob: He was trying to say that as your practices get better and your play gets better, then at the end of the year the sum of those days the team will be better. This was a subtle way to suggest how they could be better in what’s becoming the dog days of December. No offense meant to dogs. TD Two Dogs: Is ex Texas Tech standout wide receiver Michael Crabtree a hold out from the 49’ers? Isn’t this

Two Dogs: A friend of mine told me there’s a ladies motocross professional racing, is that correct? And a deaf girl is leading the standings? If this is true, could you give me some information on it? Mary Margaret Blythe MM: Glad to do this. It’s the 2009 Lucas Oil Motocross Championship WMX Class. There are eight rounds televised on Versus, and four rounds on the Outdoor Channel. Bear in mind these are taped and broadcast later to fit into time slots. The next races airing are on the OC 8/10, then on VS 8/12, then on the OC 8/17 and 8/31. Ashley Fiolek is leading in wins and points, and yes, she’s profoundly hearing impaired. She’s also one hell’uva a motorcycle racer. When you roll that throttle and hit the mogul at high rpm and there’s about 18 or 20

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

Javier: You can never tell what a grand jury is going to do. I’m guessing that they felt like all the others involved just made stupid and not criminal decisions. Burress isn’t in trouble for shooting himself, he’s indicted for having an unregistered weapon and carrying it into a public place, and maybe obstruction of justice. At his age and with his history I suspect when the criminal and NFL penalties are served no team will pick Plaxico up, meaning his pro career has probably ended on a very negative note. TD Two Dogs: I don’t know if you think the hit in UFC 100 that Henderson put on Bisping was “late” or not, but it sure looked like it to me. It also looked like Bis was “out” before he even hit the mat, or at least so rattled that he couldn’t continue. Cage fights are tough, but that was over the line. They need to police this sport better. Phil Raleigh Phil: There wasn’t anything illegal or unethical about the hit or the fight. You can go back and randomly select several fights out of the last few

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METRO ANE SPORTS

years and you’ll see some of these athletes have the ability to strike multiple times within seconds while the opponent is standing, rocking, or falling. In mixed martial arts you fight until the referee calls it. Many times the ring official is called upon to make a decision of whether to stop a fight or not based upon one fighter’s ability to participate.

Two Dogs: Are the Knicks still working to create a team that will attract LeBron James away from Cleveland after next season? Do you think the Shaq and James duo can be for the Cav’s what Shaq and Kobe were for the Lakers? Rafe Dallas

Two Dogs: The Rangers appear to be a lock to get a wild card spot for the playoffs, how do you think they’ll do? It should get easier from here on out so maybe they can rest some players ahead of time, yes? Mandi Arlington

The ref’s, and the fighters, don’t want anybody to get seriously hurt, but they don’t want a fight stopped unnecessarily. You probably need to follow something else if this kinda fighting is gonna make you squeamish. I understand there’s an opening in tidily winks. TD

Rafe: It hasn’t happened as of this writing, but it appears a good bet that the Bucks point guard Ramon Sessions, a restricted free agent, is heading to the Knicks. The Knicks are working to do whatever they can to make New York attractive to LeBron, but what people aren’t getting is that even if LJ doesn’t make it to NY, the Knicks will have improved anyway. This doesn’t appear to be a gunslinger mentality the Knicks are tossing, it looks more like some serious change of attitude, like a “funslinger” mentality. Fun by meaning they’re ready to play the tough game to get it right, get it better, and get it on. There’s already a serious truck load of skeptics that LeBron and Shaq can merge this and become a fearsome duo on the court. Shaq’s a tad long in the tooth now and doesn’t seem even close to matching the ferocious attitude of James. TD

Mandi: I hate to break it to ya, darlin’, but in sports there’s not really that many times there’s a “lock” for a team, especially this far back in the schedule, meaning there’s still a bunch of games to be played. Yes, the Rangers are now playing the Oakland A’s, not a formidable team this year, but that’s followed by a murderer’s row of a schedule. They’ve got to face the division and conference leading Angels right after the A’s, then they’ve got Cleveland, Boston, the Twins, the Rays, the Yankees, and the Twins to finish out the month of August. The Rangers have been reasonably lucky health wise this year, except for the Hamilton injury. If the bullpen holds up and everyone stays healthy, they could have a solid shot at battling for a wild card. There won’t be any resting of players except for normal lineup rotations. Exciting, isn’t it. TD

Two Dogs: What do you think the most important thing to learn about motocross racing is? I’m wanting to do this and need a place to start. I practice in a field back of the house. Torque Rider Sherman

Two Dogs: Who do you think is going to be the QB for the Browns, Anderson or Quinn? Are they dumping that bofo wide receiver Edwards or keeping the bum? Think Mangini can turn the team around? Fallon Mesquite

TR: You need to learn how to ride on a changing surface. Tracks change during races, especially corners and dig out points below jumps. Picking the right spot to go into, through, and out of a curve, especially a dirt one that’s obviously grooving, can be the difference between losing time and shooting out with thrust. Watch as many races as you can and learn from where the best riders are picking their track points. Go to races and talk with some of the riders. TD

Fallon: I don’t know how the training camp is going, but I think Quinn’s the face of the franchise and needs to start. If they don’t start him, he needs to push for a trade, he’s got way too much talent to be a backup. Anderson had one good year, and then last year hit the skids, although injury was a major part of that. If Anderson wouldn’t accept the backup role in Cleveland, he’s got very good trade value. The Brownies plan on keeping Braylon Edwards even though for his whole time at Cleveland he’s had a permanent

Two Dogs: Is it true that Heatley could be traded to the Sharks? Won’t that hurt the Senators? Won’t that screw up the balance of power in the NHL West? What do the Sharks have to give up to get him and won’t that mess them up? Won’t that shove the Stars further down the scale since all’s they’ve done is add a new GM and coach, who, by the way, doesn’t play on the ice? Josh San Diego Josh: Well, the rumor’s out there that the Ottawa Senators are talking with the Sharks and the Montreal Canadiens to work a three way deal to get it done. Ottawa’s not gonna let him go for peanuts, and the Sharks will have to put some serious action on the table for this to happen, which is why Montreal is in the picture. San Jose’s allegedly offered Cheechoo, Erhoff, and a first round selection but Ottawa wants more. They may want the Sharks Captain, Marleau, plus others and a first rounder. San Jose feels they have to improve to attack Detroit for the Western Conference lead, they’re not concerned about the Stars. Yes the balance of power could shift, positive for SJ if they don’t give up too much, and negative if they give the farm away. If it works for SJ, and that’s still a big IF, then it would appear the Stars would be faced with an even tougher enemy, who was already a formidable opponent. TD

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case of the dropsy’s, not a good thing for a receiver. Many people think Mangini would have a better chance at being successful had he kept former head coach Crennel, now they’re not so sure. TD Two Dogs: Will the Bronco’s trade receiver Marshall to the Ravens? He wants out, the Ravens would be a good fit, and Denver needs a wideout who wants to be there. Is there really the dissatisfaction on the Denver team it looks like? Monte Plano Monte: The Ravens got retired receiver Derrick Mason back so their incentive to get Brandon Marshall has dimmed considerably, especially with what Denver wants. I’m not sure if Denver’s not playing hardball with Marshall for publicity reasons, meaning they got ridiculed for letting Cutler go. Marshall’s got some good numbers, but he’s also been injury prone, at least so far. Rumors are a funny thing, they can be caused by a lot of things, but there sure are a lot of ‘em floating around that Denver team. There are some very dissatisfied players right now, and most are keeping their mouths shut for good reasons, but time and success can change a lot of attitudes. New head coach Mc Daniels is hoping he can have a successful first year and convert players thinking. TD Two Dogs: What’s your favorite tailgating food you can’t get at a stadium right now? Grill Man GM: I love deep fried hot dogs that are “popped”. They’re probably a sin. TD

Pat “Two Dogs” Snow twodogs@anemagazine.com

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Nola’s Nuggets

Not Your Ordinary Advice Column Dear Nola, Why do men with lots of money usually have small penises while men who don’t are usually well hung? Broke and Curious but Satisfied Dear Inquisitive Pauper: I believe it might have something to do with the general yin/yang of the universal order or perhaps, orderly chaos theory.  Regardless, you say you are ‘broke’? if you are female, you will need to get a rich, unsatisfying sugar daddy on the side; if you are male, then please send Nola your private phone number and she’ll call you with a much more personal answer.   Nola, I  have this theory about how to tell how large a man’s member is: take a look at his fingers. Is there any scientific fact to back

me up? I have $5 riding on this... Mama Needs a New Pair of Nissan Unveils First Electric Car Design Ferrari has revealed that Shoes and It's a Keeper Dear Barefoot and Clueless: Yes, as a matter of fact there was a significant Princeton Medical School study of over 2 million men of all races, ages, backgrounds and income levels and there was a surprising discover: The man with very, very short fingernails will have the biggest appurtenance.  Based on subjective interview, videotape and objective surveying techniques, it was concluded that this has to do with jack-off rates-- the shorter the nails, the more frequently the monkey was slapped.  Slapped monkeys eventually swell up.  Have fun Gentle Shopper, Nola

Nissan has just upped the ante in the Zero Emission Vehicle race. With this weekend’s unveiling of the Nissan LEAF, the company’s first in a line of EVs, the bar has been set impressively high: a 5-seat all electric hatchback with a top speed of 90 mph and a range of 100 miles.

MSRP hasn’t been stated yet, but to compete with the Volt, Mitsubishi’s iMiev, the Mini E and others, rumors peg it at under $30,000, before tax credits. Nissan says the LEAF will go 100 miles under real world conditions on a 24 kWh, 120 HP motor that can propel the bugger to a top speed of over 90 mph and carry 4-5 people. According to Nissan, when using a 50kW DC quick charger, the LEAF battery could be charged to 80% capacity in less than 30 minutes. However, charging to 100% at home using a standard 200V AC outlet will take about 8 hours.

Do you have a question for Nola? Email Nola at NolasNuggets@live.com and she’ll respond through this column. You’ll also be able to converse with the car through

your mobile device to control and monitor such things as: * Turning on the A/C a few minutes before you’re about to leave that unbelievably boring meeting to drive home on a *wonderfully* climate-changed 110F day * Check the charge status of the vehicle * Calculate the cost to charge the battery

Ferrari 458 Italia

Ferrari has drawn from the visual spirit of the Enzo to create a power-packed replacement for the F430 that shuns the rounded curves of its past V8s in favor of chiseled, unmistakable aggression. Boasting a new 4.5-liter V8 engine, a seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox and a 202-mph top speed,

the car — code-named F142 and long rumored to be named the F450 — will be called the 458 Italia. Following Ferrari lore, it stands for a 4.5-liter engine with eight cylinders, though why Ferrari thought people would forget it came from Italy is anybody’s guess. The Ferrari 458 Italia will be unveiled on Sept. 8 at the Frankfurt motor show. It has been heavily sculpted for aerodynamic efficiency and has picked up more racing technology than any Ferrari before.

$500,000 Motorcycle Used to Chase Geese

Carl Haren from Duarte, CA, is a motorcycle enthusiast who races bikes and works on carburetors as a hobby. In 2000, Haren was excited to inherit his uncle’s vintage motorcyclethat he remembers using to chase geese off the family farm in Illinois as a young boy. N o t knowing what was actually given to him until his friend and fellow motorcycle racer, Scotty Parker, saw it and realized that Haren owned a running 1912 Pierce motorcycle. This bike is so rare that there are only five in the world that still run including Haren’s, according to experts. Similar bikes have sold for as much as $500,000, calling Jay Leno… Haren, has no intention to sell the bike despite legitimate offers. I have been offered a lot of money for it, but it is not for sale. Once it goes into a collection, no one ever sees it again and I don’t want that. He enjoys being able to show the bike at various motorcycle events, schools and museums and still rides it around the neighborhood.

Upcoming 2009 Events

Fort Worth, Texas - Aug 7 - Scion drag-n-brag at Texas Motor Speedway. Drag-n-brag divisions: Turner, Street Bandit, sportsman and Street Outlaw. Show-n-Shine divisions: Best of Show, Best Classic (1972 or prior years) and Best Current Custom (1973 to current). Costs: (cash only for all fees) Drag racing $20; Shown-Shine $20; Combo Ticket $30; Spectator Entry $7; Infield Parking $15; Outside parking free. Coolers not allowed in grandstands. Gates open at 6pm. Info: www.​texasmotorspeed​way.​com or call 817-528-3571. Longview, Texas - August 8, 2009 - 5th Annual Show N Shine Charity Car Show - Tiempos Locos Car Club will be hosting their 4th Annual Show ‘N’ Shine Charity Car Show sponsored by Presario Productions. The event will be held at Maude Cobb Convention Center in Longview, TX 11A-5P. There will be once again over 45 categories with even more rod and classic categories this year. Activities will include a car hop competition, car audio competition, and much more. Pre-reg will be $15 deadline Aug 1, $20 day of show. There are vendor spaces available. For more info log onto www.longviewcarshow.com or contact Mike @ (903) 445-9977 or Raul @ (903) 452-8618. Dallas, Texas - August 2, 2009 - Texas Scooter Times Summertime Swap Meet & Motorcycle Rodeo - The motorcycle swapmeet will be held at Gigantic Historic Longhorn Ballroom, 212 Corinth in Dallas. doors open at 11:00 am. Vendor fees are $40.00 for a 10 X 10 space. There will also be a motorcycle riding skills contests. Trophies will be awarded to contest winners. General admission is $8.00 for Adults. Kids 5 to 14 years of age get in for $5.00. Those under 5 get in free. For more information call (254) 687-9066 or go to http://www.texasscooter.com. Have a ride or other event you want posted? Send the information to: editor@anemagazine.com

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gorilla gadgets

odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff! Deluxe Mini Fridge-Warmer w/ Digital Thermostat For $100

We don’t need to give you reasons to invest in a mini-fridge. Especially if you loathe that walk to the community kitchen at the office for fear of running into the annoying sales droid who constantly needs help with his computer. This heavily portable, 20 liter capacity, mini fridge features a digital LCD display with the current inside temperature so you can rest assured your bottle of Bawls is cold. You can optionally warm that bottle of bawls to 140 degrees, but that would make you dumber than your typical mini fridge user and, as such, devoid of the ability to fix that sales droid’s computer and therefore devoid of the need to purchase a mini fridge to avoid said sales droid. Simply put stuff in your Mini Fridge you want to chill or warm up, preselect the desired temperature, sit back, and enjoy! http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/6ad2/

and it converts it to text or you can tap with stylus from alpha display to create you text INTERNET ACCESS if your service provider offers this option A quad band phone means that you can use it any almost anywhere , simply insert your SIMS card. Firstly, it has a 1.3MP high-definition camera, CMOS sensor, support 4x focus mode, and also support unlimited shooting. The max image output size is 1280*1204 pixels, enables you enjoy outstanding pictures and video clips on the phone’s ultra-high quality display. It has 2 million pixel pinhole webcam. Secondly, the music function of the phone is incredible, to imagine such a small thing can play out so beautifully with loud music. You can also listen to it with the blue tooth headset. Not to mention with FM radio.Thirdly, is also equipped with 260K colorful screen, TFT, 128×160 pixel, 1.4 inch, hand touch screen with high quality. You can enjoy excellent movies with 1G TF card (plus an expandable memory card slot, support up to 2G extended) fluent and comfortable. Fourth, it is such a delicate unisex phone, that you can both wear it on the wrist or hang it on the neck.

Sonic Bomb Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker Finally, also supports multi-languages such as This puppy cranks out 113-decibel alarms, which even the dead can’t sleep through. If for some reason you don’t waken with bleeding ears, the accompanying bed shaker is bound to rouse you. Slip the little piece under your mattress and just when your alarm shocks you out of that restful slumber, your bed will nearly dump you as well. You can pretty much forget about hitting the snooze button. Why would you want to do that to yourself twice in one morning? http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/8f1a/

Kelly Watch Phone

Kelly Watch Phone is the most advanced phone ever with the first voice recognition and stereo loud speaker. Built-in SPEAKERS allow you to hear the caller without a Bluetooth or headset This watch lets you SPEAK a phone number and it dials it for you, HANDS FREE! If the name is in your phone book, SPEAK the name and it dials it for you, HANDS FREE! 2.0 MEGA PIXIL CAMERA which you can use to take pictures or use as a WEBCAM. Create text messages by HANDWRITING on screen

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French, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, Deutsch, Arabic, simplified Chinese and etc. http://kellywatchphone.com

Platune Sand-X Bike Is A Desert-Friendly Snowmobile

The latest toy to catch the fancy of the desert boys is the Platune Sand-X Bike. Developed by Platune, an American company, in collaboration with Sand-X a Swiss company specializing in off-road vehicles, the Platune Sand –X Bike is become extremely popular with the wealthy folks in Middle East. The Platune is actually a snowmobile which has been modified for use on desert sand dunes instead of snow. The skis have been replaced by wheels and the radiator sits out in front of the vehicle protected by a custom designed set of bull bars The Platune Sand-X uses a Rotax 800 cc, 2-cylinder, 2-stroke engine which develops 160 horsepower. This amazing sand bike can accelerate to 60 mph in just 2.8 seconds and can reach a top speed of 115 mph. Hence it is now wonder that this desert bike has become the favorite toy of many wealthy enthusiasts who are looking for some fun on the sand dunes. But it’s not just the wealthy few who have taken a fancy to this bike, various law enforcement agencies and border patrol units who require a fast and efficient mode of transport are opting for the Platune Sand-X bike.

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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Sex In the Newz Survey Uncovers Sexual Health Embarrassment

One in ten people have had unprotected sex because they were too embarrassed to buy condoms, a new survey has found. Research by online pharmacy www.mastersdirect.com discovered that many people find it hard to buy products such as condoms, incontinence pants and personal lubricants from high street pharmacies. A quarter of respondents told researchers that they had walked out of a pharmacy without buying something they needed because they were too embarrassed to ask for it. In addition, almost half admitted that they have put up with a health problem such as thrush because they could not face seeking medical advice. Commenting on the findings, media doctor Dr Dawn Harper insisted that pharmacies have come ‘a long way’ in offering healthcare to the public. ‘But this research highlights how some people still feel awkward about openly discussing their private health issues,’ she observed.

Swedish Lesbians Suck Sperm Banks Dry

Sweden’s fertility clinics are racking up a serious backlog of people waiting for artificial insemination, due in part to a “spike” in demand from lesbian couples for vital supplies of man juice. So bad have things got that prospective customers at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg are now forced to wait 18 months for treatment. The problem, the GöteborgsPosten explains, is that a 2005 law change granted “female samesex couples” the right to fertility treatment at Swedish hospitals. Previously, this privilege extended only to married women or those who were “registered heterosexual partners”. Inger Bryman, Sahlgrenska’s head of gynaecology and reproductive medicine, told the paper: “We had estimated an increase of around 25 couples per year after the law change. Now there are 90 couples in line.” Sweden’s lesbians are not the sole cause of the sperm drought. Swedish law allows kids to learn their biological father’s identity once they turn 18. This hasn’t done much to encourage donors. The main reason, though, is apparently bad sperm - “either related to deterioration while being frozen or to medical conditions”.

for some time, a study led by a team of Italian doctors has concluded that red wine increases womens’ sex drive. In a survey of 800 sexually healthy women aged 18 to 50, doctors from the University of Florence found that levels of sexual desire were higher in those who regularly drank red wine. Women who drank more than two glasses a day were excluded from the study to avoid the possible confounding effects of drunkenness. After completing a 19 question survey on sexual health, red wine drinkers averaged 27.43 points out of a possible 36, when others scored 25.9 and non-drinkers 24.4. The researchers, who reported their findings in the Journal of Sexual Medicine last week, say the outcome is even more surprising because the red wine drinkers were, on average, older than the other two groups, and age tends to be associated with a declining sex drive. Speculating on the cause of this phenomenon, scientists suggest that chemicals in red wine may improve blood flow to key areas of the body, including the sex organs, although there is no proof at this stage

Nude Couple’s Outdoor Sex Session Cut Short By Lightning Bolt A lightning quick sex session in a bush during a storm ended in a flash when a bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby making the earth move for the lovemaking couple.

Jens Gottlieb, 36 and his 28-yearold girlfriend Lisa Gruhn had pulled into a parking space on the busy A44 motorway in the state of NorthRhine Westphalia, western Germany, and after kissing and cuddling decided to get out of the car and head into the nearby bushes to make love. Because the nearby service station near the town of Werl was relatively busy they went a short distance into the wooded area and hid themselves in a bush where they stripped naked. They were so carried away that they didn’t stop even when thunder and lightning started to rip through the air - until a bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby. The terrified pair ran out of the bush naked and fled in a torrential downpour that followed the lightning strike. They lost their way and were spotted blundering around in the dark by another motorist in a parking space who called police.

Study: Red Wine Increases Women’s Officers who arrived a short while later managed to find the naked and shivering pair and help them Sex Drive Confirming a fact that Italian men have known

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into dry clothes and took them home.

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Deputy Fired for Looking at Porn at Work A Lee County corrections deputy has been fired for looking at porn at work after his downloading slowed down agency computers.

Scott Heimlich was fired July 23 after an internal investigation found that he violated the agency’s policy on viewing pornographic material and conduct unbecoming of an officer. Investigator found 857 pornographic images on the Heimlich’s computer, and a report says Heimlich admitted he viewed the pictures while on duty, alone in his office.

WCP’s Teen Black Punishment Showcases Upcoming Teen Talent

There has never been a shortage of sexy teen girls, but recently the interracial teen genre has exploded onto the scene and has introduced a bevvy of young, sassy, and savvy talent to the world of hardcore entertainment. On Monday August 3, West Coast Productions will release “Teen Black Punishment”, starring some of the hottest new teens in adult. Fresh off her FAME Awards win for Rookie of the Year, Tori Black stars in this interracial release along with vlogger and “PornStarTweet” twitter girl Tara Lynn Foxx, up n’ cummer and West Coast favorite Amy Starz, newbie Vanessa Leon and rising teen star, Camella. “Teen Black Punishment” pairs up this fresh talent with industry vets and heavyweights Prince Yashua, Nathan Threat, Ice Cold, Rock the Icon and Mr. Marcus. The Aug 3 WCP release consists of interracial scenarios involving naughty, rebellious, and spoiled teens - caught in the act of doing something very criminal - and the ensuing punishments they receive. Tara Lynn Foxx, who is an avid social networker, hopes her fans enjoy seeing the ‘real’ her performing in hardcore interracial movies, and when asked about the punishment part of the title, she didn’t seem to mind: “There is something sexy about being completely submissive and fucking like your “daddy” wants you to. Eventually my goal is doing a scene for every fetish and genre in porn.” Until then, fans can check Tara out on her myspace and twitter pages and in West Coast Productions’ “Teen Black Punishment”, available Aug 3. The “Punishment” DVD runs at over two hours, includes chapter searches, photo galleries, movies trailers, website info, Dolby digital sound, BTS, and an exclusive, steaming bonus scene. http://www.wcpclub.com/

Urban X Award Winners Announced

A raucous ceremony for the second annual Urban X Awards took place Sunday night at Boulevard 3, seeing winners announced in nearly 60 categories recognizing excellence in black, Asian and Latin erotica. The affair was hosted by adult stars Roxy Reynolds and Mr. Marcus, and included performances by Medusa, Brian Pumper and Joe Moses. Industry personality James Bartholet emceed as the

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All About Porn: Releases, News and Stars!

stars filtered into the main hall to take their seats for the event. And they all got revved up aplenty when Medusa took the stage to begin the show with her tracks “Dusty Ball Drop” and “Ready, Set, Action.” Marcus and Reynolds then appeared, he in a grey suit and his signature L.A. Dodgers ballcap, she in an elegant orange gown. Reynolds gave a brief summary of the show’s mission, saying it aims to recognize “all your favorite porn stars who’ve been overlooked this year by that other show.” (We assume she was referring to the RogReviews.com Fan Faves Awards.)

The first award of the evening was the Hall of Fame Male honor, bestowed upon Wesley Pipes, T.T. Boy, Mark Anthony and Sledge Hammer. Pinky presented the award, with the intro: “Just like NBA players who make it to the Hall of Fame, these guys really know how to take it to the hole.” T.T. Boy was the only recipient not present to accept the award, but Mark Anthony spoke well enough for all four of them by cracking, “Well, I’m in the Hall of Fame, I guess I’ll retire now.” Speaking of Pinky, it was a very big night for the diminutive star. She collected Best Talent Website, Female Performer of the Year and Porn Star of the Year, receiving massive cheers each time she appeared on stage. West Coast Productions had a good night as well, scooping up trophies in seven categories, including Best Studio for the second year in a row. Alexander DeVoe Productions matched that tally, with DeVoe himself being named Director of the Year, and making almost as impressive showings were Mercenary Pictures and Justin Slayer International, the latter taking the Best New Company prize.

Vivid to Unveil Raylene’s Comeback Movie Next Week

AVN award-winning actress Raylene, the longtime Vivid Girl who left the industry in 2001 to become a real estate agent, has returned to adult. Her first movie Raylene’s Dirty Work will be in stores on Aug. 6. Raylene enjoyed success in her new career, but now that the market is suffering from the recession she decided it was time to make a comeback. B. Skow directed the starlet in her comeback project, which will also be available online at vivid.dvdempire. com on the same day. “Raylene was eager to make this movie special for her fans who continue to follow her and I think we succeeded,” said Skow. “The film has seven big scenes with Raylene in four of them, all shot around the theme of horny housewives doing horny housework. I think her fans will be thinking how much hotter Raylene looks though eight years have gone by.”

Tera Patrick to Release Autobiography Tera Patrick is preparing to unveil her autobiography titled “Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love, Marriage & Porn” through Gotham/Penguin Books. In the book, Patrick goes in depth about her experiences as a top model, feature entertainer, entrepreneur, fashion designer and sex symbol. The hardcover version is currently available for pre-orders at amazon. com, barnes&noble. com, borders.com and indiebound.com. The book will be available in retail outlets nationwide on Jan. 5, 2010. The project came about after Patrick met entertainment journalist/author Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna who asked Tera to be part of her latest book, “Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and Hotter Girlfriend and to Living Like a Rock Star” (Simon Spotlight Entertainment, 2008). The two women made a great connection and Patrick asked Borzillo-Vrenna to co-author “Sinner Takes All.”

Adam & Eve Rolls Out Site for ‘The 8th Day’

Adam & Eve has announced the launch of the official site for its post-Apocalyptic epic, The 8th Day, which will be released on Sept. 8. Adam & Eve contract star Kayden Kross stars in the movie that has been a year in the making from director Ren Savant. The site the8thdayxxx.com offers fans and retailers a sneak peek at what it’s store in the movie with exclusive trailers, photos, biographies of cast members and more.

Oh my this dude Mandingo has a huge cock. If most porn guys make you feel inadequate, then this guy’s cock will make yours seem nonexistent. Seriously, you should see the real box cover with his cock laid across Faye Runaway’s face. If you don’t have a problem with tiny barely legal girls getting dominated and penetrated by a big black cock, than you’ll love this interracial release cause this features some of the hottest girls. All the girls (Faye Runaway, Natasha, Jada Stevens, Chloe Parker, and Sierra Sanchez) on here are short and petite, just the way I like them. My favorite girl on this release is the deliciously adorable and sexy Faye Runaway. You know I’m sucker for girls with tattoos and I usually don’t care much for blondes, but I got the hots for her bad. Plus besides being a hot, she looked like an awesome f*ck. Natasha has some awesome boobs. Her intro/solo scene was pretty steamy. I’m usually not much into solo scenes, but Natasha converted me. Visions of a big breasted Lindsay Lohan rushed into my head as I watched this fiery red head take a pounding. Didn’t really have a chance to thoroughly enjoy the others girls because I couldn’t contain myself after Faye Runaway, but what I scanned I’ll definitely be planning a night alone with this DVD again. 4 out 5 big cocks! -Gil Tha Thrill

Nurses of Boobsville Adam & Eve Pictures A lot of you guys are gonna go nuts for this release. Nurses! Check. Big Natural Boobs! Check. Lots of titty f*cking! Oh hell yeah check.

The 8th Day tells the story of the beautiful, young Samantha (Kayden Kross) who awakens from a cryogenic slumber to find the world she knew is gone... And time is running out in this apocalyptical erotic adventure. Overrun by brutal tribes of proto-humans, the city teems with spontaneous sexual fervor and rampant lawlessness. Samantha’s one hope for salvation is the desert: a charismatic prince is restoring order to this new land. But when he takes Samantha under his wing and into his bed, he discovers who she really is and she must make the ultimate sacrifice. The four-disc set includes over 13 hours of action with a cast that also includes fellow Adam & Eve exclusive Bree Olson, Tommy Gunn, Kylie Ireland, Amber Rayne, Evan Stone, Tyler Knight, Tori Black and others.

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

Mandingo Teen Domination West Coast Productions

What happens at Boobsville Mental Hospital when there a lots of hot nurses around? Well, the patients are already crazy, so how about they get wild in their dreams. In Nurses of Boobsville you get five scenes of patients daydreaming about their nurses giving them the ultimate hands on treatments. The nurses spoils their patients cocks by sucking them, rubbing them in their boobs and massaging them with their vagina’s. The lovely, big breasted woman of this release are Riley Evans, Carmen Hayes, Evie Delatosso, Sara Stone and Allie Foster. My favorite scene is with the dark haired raven, Evie Delatosso. Her intro scene with her jumping rope and jumping on the trampoline rules. Plus she was really hot to watch have sex. I didn’t really like nurses outfits, but luckily they came off quick. Guys into big natural boobs will lust for this release. 3 out 5 -Gil Tha Thrill

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German Prostitutes Defend “Flat Rate” Brothels

Prostitutes in Germany are fighting back against attempts by conservative politicians and some irate residents to stop popular “flat-rate” brothels. Officials in the state of Baden-Wuerttemberg launched moves to stop one brothel with a “flat-rate” fee system because they viewed it as inhumane for women to provide unlimited sexual services all day for a one-off 70 euros (£60) fee. But a group of 77 prostitutes bought advertising space in two national dailies to argue that this was simply a ruse to get brothels banned altogether. “Get off our backs -- no ban on brothels with or without ‘flat rates’,” read the headline in the quarter-page adverts. Under the guise of ‘humane working conditions’, they are in reality plotting to ban brothels and

threaten our livelihood.”

For a 70 euros charge customers are entitled to all the sex, food and drink they want between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. The evening flat rate rises to 100 euros. Pussy club operator Patricia Floreiu has said most customers leave after at most two sessions. There are at least four such “flat rate” brothels across Germany, a country where prostitution is legal. Heribert Rech, Baden-Wuerttemberg’s Christian Democrat interior minister, has led a campaign against the “Pussy Club” establishment in the town of Fellbach, saying the “favourable price suggests women there are being exploited.”

Saudi Man Scandalizes With TV Sex Confession A divorced Saudi man with four children has shocked Saudi Arabia, one of the most conservative countries in the world, with details of his sexual exploits on an Arabic television show. Mazen Abdul-Jawad, 32, has gone into hiding after appearing two weeks ago on Lebanese channel LBC -- mainly owned by Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal -- where he spoke to camera from his bedroom in the Saudi Red Sea city of Jeddah about how couples can spice up their sex lives. “Everything happens in this room,” he said on an episode of the salacious show “Ahmar Bilkhat al-Areed” (Wide Red Lines), before launching into descriptions of foreplay techniques and tricks for cruising women on the streets of Jeddah. Clips of the racy confessions from the TV show, which can be seen via satellite in Saudi Arabia, have had nearly half a million hits on Youtube. Saudi Arabia follows an austere form of Islam where religious police patrol the streets to enforce a strict moral standard including no mixing of unrelated men and women, as well as no drugs and alcohol. But many young Saudis find ways around the draconian system to make contact with each other, and the clerics have tried in vain to limit mobile phone and other technology. Men have been prosecuted for taking pictures of young women with phones in malls and many reports say such photographs are often used as blackmail.

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Abdul-Jawad said sex became an important part of his life at age 14, following his first sexual encounter with a neighbor. He demonstrated how he would cruise girls in his red convertible or in supermarkets, often making use of Bluetooth mobile phone technology, and produced sex toys and lubricants from his bedroom cupboard. “While I’m driving I turn my Bluetooth on. It has the description of my car and my mobile number... I get calls from girls... and in some cases I call back and she goes out with me,” he says in the Youtube clips. Newspapers and bloggers have said the young man should face legal action for spreading vice in what has been dubbed by media as the “frank with filth case.” “He confessed before the world that he committed fornication and continues to fornicate,” an anonymous user wrote on al-Medina newspaper’s web forum this week. “It is for that reason that he deserves to be stoned to death, as Islamic law stipulates.” It was not possible to contact Abdul-Jawad who has made only one public comment since the controversy erupted. “I offer my apologies to everyone and I am ready to accept the consequences,” he said in an interview with the daily Okaz last week. It carried a photograph of him in traditional Saudi robes but with his face concealed.

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Booze Culture: Drinking To Excess Can Leave You Red-Faced New Strain Of HIV From Gorillas Found In Woman From Cameroon In The Morning A new strain of the virus that causes Aids has been dis- Their research was supported by the French Health If these pictures are anything to go by maybe the Government is right - people really do not know the cur- covered in a woman from Cameroon. It differs from the three known strains of human immunodeficiency virus rent recommended daily limits for units of alcohol and what can happen if you drink to excess. and appears to be closely related to a form of simian virus As these pictures illustrate, it’s not only the unpleasant side effects of a hangover the next day which can recently discovered in wild gorillas, researchers report in the journal Nature Medicine. affect you, but what your ‘trusty’ friends get up too while you’re passed out. The common headache, nausea, sensitivity to light, nausea and diarrhoea is nothing to how embarrassed you might feel the next day if you’re unlucky enough to end up looking like some of the people pictured.

The finding ‘highlights the continuing need to watch closely for the emergence for new HIV variants, particularly in western central Africa,’ said the researchers, led by JeanChristophe Plantier of the University of Rouen in France. The three previously known HIV strains are related to the simian virus that occurs in chimpanzees.The most likely explanation for the new find is gorilla-to-human transmission, Plantier’s team said.

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A separate paper, also in Nature Medicine, reports that people with genital herpes remain at increased risk of HIV infection even after the herpes sores have healed and the skin appears normal. Researchers led by Drs. Lawrence Corey and Jia Zhu of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre in Seattle found that long after the areas where the herpes sores existed seem to be clear, they still have immune-cell activity that can encourage HIV infection.

But they added they cannot rule out the possibility that the new strain started in chimpanzees and moved into gorillas and then humans, or moved directly from chimpanzees to both gorillas and humans.

Herpes has been associated with higher rates of infection with HIV. It had been thought that the breaks in the skin were the reason for higher HIV rates, but a study last year found that treatment of herpes with drugs did not reduce the HIV risk.

The 62-year-old patient tested positive for HIV in 2004, shortly after moving to Paris from Cameroon, according to the researchers. She had lived near Yaounde, the capital of Cameroon, but said she had no contact with apes or bush meat.

The researchers tested the skin of herpes patients for several weeks after their sores had healed and found that, compared with other genital skin, from twice to 37 times more immune cells remained at the locations where the sores had been.

The woman currently shows no signs of AIDS and remains untreated, though she still carries the virus, the researchers said.

HIV targets immune cells and in laboratory tests the virus reproduced three to five times faster in tissue from the healed sites as in tissue from other areas.

How widespread this strain is remains to be determined. Researchers said it could be circulating unnoticed in Cameroon or elsewhere.

‘Understanding that even treated (herpes) infections provide a cellular environment conducive to HIV infection suggests new directions for HIV prevention research,’ commented Dr. Anthony S. Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Disease.

The virus’ rapid replication indicates that it is adapted to human cells, the researchers reported.

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Watch Institute, the French National Agency for Research on Aids and Viral Hepatitis and Rouen University Hospital.

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Tattoo, Burnout and Bikini '09 By: Ms. Misha Morê The Republic Harley-Davidson's had its biggest event of the year with tattoos, smell burning rubber and the crowning of the 2009 "Miss Republic". There were lots of awesome tattooing, live music, cool rubber vibes and sexy clad women!!! To see MORE of My work, visit: http://users.adultspace.com/ MSMORE.

Ron Jeremy Opens His Own Swing Club

Ron ‘The Hedgehog” Jeremy has placed a hold on his porno productions to become a Portland businessman in the apparently recessionproof business of swinging. Ron Jeremy’s Club Sesso, a private members only upscale swingers night club, opened in mid-June in downtown Portland. The discreetly marked, one hundred thirty three year old building will soon become a haven to swingin’ singles and swappin’ couples twenty one and over. Jeremy chose Portland due to Oregon’s strong constitution and the community’s deep- seated support of sexual diversity. Jeremy said, “I love Portland. Every time I am there, I am struck by how accepting people are of others’ sexual diversities. I have enjoyed an amazing career solely due to the fact I was allowed my sexual freedom. I want to give other people the chance to enjoy their sexual freedom in a high-energy nightclub environment that is upscale and fun.” And Ron Jeremy is scouting location number two and it might be in Texas that is going to be his second opening location. Stay tuned! -Ms. Misha Morê To see MORE of Ms. Misha Morê’swork, visit: http://users.adultspace.com/MSMORE.

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Did I Ever Tell You The One About... And other strange oddities of the world

Police Find Train “Suicide” Woman In Bed

French police called off their search for a woman who threw herself in front of a speeding train when they found that she had dragged herself home and gone to bed, a court source told Reuters Wednesday. The 58-year-old, who suffered from depression, jumped in front of the train Tuesday as it sped through the station at Herrlisheim near Strasbourg at around 150 km per hour, prompting the driver to alert the police. Discovering only a small blood stain on the train and the platform, police called in helicopters to find the woman who they presumed had been sent flying by the collision, public prosecutor Laurent Guy said Wednesday. But the search was called off when the woman’s partner, returning from a night shift, found her lying in bed with a broken arm and other injuries and rang the emergency services. The woman, who had attempted suicide in the past, was subsequently hospitalized.

The party on Thursday recalled a statement criticizing Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty because it mistakenly linked to a profane YouTube video of an elderly Chinese woman repeating obscenities. Andrew O’Leary, executive director of the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, as the Democratic Party is known in Minnesota, says the link was provided by an outside researcher. He says the party did not check the link before sending the release to the news media. O’Leary says the party “obviously made a mistake.”

Police: Texting, Talking NY Trucker Hits Car, Pool Police say a western New York tow truck driver was texting on one cell phone while talking on another when he slammed into a car and crashed into a swimming pool.

Jobless NYC Woman Sues College For $70K In Tuition

A New York City woman who says she can’t find a job is suing the college where she earned a bachelor’s degree. Trina Thompson filed a lawsuit last week against Monroe College in Bronx Supreme Court. The 27-year-old is seeking the $70,000 she spent on tuition. Thompson says she’s been unable to find gainful employment since she received her information technology degree in April. She says the Bronx school’s Office of Career Advancement hasn’t provided her with the leads and career advice it promises. Monroe College spokesman Gary Axelbank says Thompson’s lawsuit is completely without merit.

Suspected Aussie Thief Caught Napping In Car Wash

Police say they have arrested a suspected car thief whom they caught napping at the wheel of a stolen car. South Australia Police say the 30-year-old man drove the Audi convertible into an automatic car wash early Monday and apparently fell asleep. A service station attendant called the police at 3 a.m. when he noticed the car hadn’t moved for an hour. The police said in a statement that the car has two different license plates and that police discovered it had been reported stolen in July. They woke the man and arrested him on charges of illegal use and theft of the car.

Oops! Minn. Dems’ News Release Has Profane link

Next time, Minnesota’s Democratic Party says, it will closely check its Internet links before sending news releases.

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Niagara County sheriff’s deputies say 25-year-old Nicholas Sparks of Burt admitted he was texting and talking when his flatbed truck hit the car Wednesday morning in Lockport, which is outside Buffalo. The truck then crashed through a fence and sideswiped a house before rolling into an in-ground pool. Police say the 68-year-old woman driving the car suffered head injuries and was in good condition. Her 8-year-old niece suffered minor injuries. Sparks was charged with reckless driving, talking on a cell phone and following too closely. It couldn’t be determined Thursday whether he has a lawyer.

Kids Put The Heat On Police Exam Cheaters In China Police officers contemplating cheating on promotion exams met their match this week in northwestern China _ 18 serious-faced fifth-graders walking the beat.

The students were decked in blue and white school uniforms, and photos on the local government Web site showed them standing behind podiums and sauntering up and down aisles of various classrooms to monitor 265 police test-takers in Liangzhou county in Gansu province The experiment, carried out by the Liangzhou Discipline Inspection Commission and Organization Department, was implemented after adult supervisors were found to allow some cheating during police exams to prevent officers’ embarrassment, according to the Web site. The strategy worked well, too. Of all of the exam takers vying for 66 district-level judge, prosecutor and investigator positions, students identified 25 alleged cheaters, whose test results were disqualified, the report said.

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News, Rumors and Gossip Meet Man-donna: The Chilean Transvestite

Thousands of adoring fans line the streets, jostling to catch a glimpse of megastar millionaire Madonna. But it’s not the Material Girl they are looking at, it’s male look-a-like Elias Figueroa, a poor boy from Chile who loved the superstar so much he decided to become her.

‘I was still a schoolboy,’ said Elias. ‘I heard “Like a Virgin” and it totally blew me away. Madonna was so naughty, so sexy and unorthodox she broke the rules and I wanted to know everything about her.’ Now Elias is a gay lookalike and earns $12,000 a year as a Man-donna impersonator, three times the national salary in Chile.

Gay activists blamed the anti-gay rhetoric of ultraOrthodox Jewish leaders for inciting the attack. Conservative Jews, especially in Jerusalem, condemn being gay and protest the city’s annual Gay Pride parade. “Beyond the pain, the frustration and the anger, we are facing a situation in which the incitement to hate creates an environment that allows this to happen,” gay rights activist Mike Hamel told the AP.

Episcopalians Nominate Gay Clergy For Bishop In LA

‘I live the life of a superstar,’ he said. ‘Strangers flock to me, tell me they love me and even try to grab my bum.

Two Episcopal priests in same-gender relationships are among the nominees for assistant bishop of Los Angeles, officials said Sunday.

Elias, who listened to Madonna in secret as a child, became obsessed with the star and memorised her sexy dance moves alone in front of the bathroom mirror.

The Rev. John L. Kirkley of San Francisco and the Rev. Mary Douglas Glasspool of Maryland will be among six candidates on the ballot when lay people and clergy vote in December, despite a long-standing request from world Anglican leaders for a moratorium on consecrating openly gay bishops.

‘I would lock the door, put a towel on my head to look like hair and sing into my toothbrush,’ he said. As Elias grew older he challenged the stifling control of his parents and began to hit the gay party scene in Santiago. The first time he performed as Madonna to an audience was in 1996 when, at the age of 15, he gave a karaoke style performance at a friend’s birthday party.

Gay Community Rallies After Tel Aviv Attack As police mounted a massive manhunt for the masked man who allegedly killed 2 gay youth in Tel Aviv, the gay community rallied against Saturday’s attack.

Initial reports suggested 3 teens were left dead and 10 wounded when a masked, lone gunman stormed the Tel Aviv Gay and Lesbian Association building and sprayed automatic fire in a basement room as a support group for gay teenagers assembled. The AP reported Sunday that only 2 people died in the incident. One of the dead was a 26-year-old man who was a counselor at the center, the other was a 16-year-old girl attending the support group. Eleven people were wounded in the attack, four seriously. MAGAZINE

As the police hunted for the killer and politicians vowed justice, the gay community turned out en masse to condemn the killings. Within hours of the attack, hundreds of Israelis joined a rally outside the crime scene. On Sunday, thousands more took to the streets in impromptu marches against homophobia and vigils to remember the dead and the wounded. Unlike its Jerusalem counterpart, Tel Aviv is a liberal city that boasts a thriving gay community. City Councillor Yaniv Weizman told the BBC that the city is the heart of the gay and lesbian community in Israel.

Elias, 28, became obsessed with Madge from the first moment he heard her music on his parents crackling radio in Santiago.

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“We’ll bring him to justice and exercise the full extent of the law against him,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told lawmakers.

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Los Angeles Bishop Jon Bruno said in a statement Sunday that he was “pleased by the wide diversity” of the nominees. Separately, the Diocese of Minnesota on Saturday announced that a lesbian was among its three candidates for bishop. That election is set for October 31. The Episcopal Church is the Anglican body in the United States. The nominations were announced just over two weeks after the Episcopal General Convention voted to effectively drop a pledge that it would act with “restraint” when considering any more openly gay candidates for bishop. Episcopalians caused an uproar in 2003 by consecrating the first openly gay bishop, V. Gene Robinson of New Hampshire. Anglican leaders responded by asking the U.S. denomination for a temporary ban on consecrating any more gay bishops while they tried to reach a compromise that could keep the 77 million-member Anglican Communion unified. No other bishop living openly with a same-sex partner has been consecrated since then. Each Episcopal diocese elects local bishops. Church leaders must then signal their approval before the winner can be consecrated.

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METRO ANE 08.05.2009