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PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE’S SUPER PARTY EVENT “THE SUPERPARTY” IN DALLAS THE NATION WIDE SEARCH IS ON FOR THE SUPER PARTY “IT” GIRL 2011! PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE WILL HOST THEIR ANNUAL “SUPERPARTY” IN

DALLAS ON FEBRUARY 4TH, 2011 AT THE AMERICAN AIRLINES CENTER AUDI CLUB. This amazing party will be hosted by Penthouse Pet of the Year 2011 Nikki Bell and the Penthouse Pets. At this great event there will be a contest for Penthouse Super Party “It Girl”. The model call will be held in Dallas on Thursday, January 20th, 2011 at 6:00 p.m. at Studio Ninety Two in Dallas. www.studioninetytwo.com. The studio is

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located at 8901 John W. Carpenter Freeway, Suite #203, Dallas, Texas 75247. At this call we will select only 100 gorgeous preliminary contestants who will be able to attend the event and 20 semi finalists will be cho-

CEO Marc Bell and will receive a VIP hosted table at the event. Along with other prizes and perks, our winner will have several interviews set up with media immediately following the competition. The JMJ Production team is extremely excited to be hosting this contest to look for our Super Party “It Girl”! Penthouse is one of America’s most popular men’s magazines and with this contest at the American Airlines Center, this will help provide the

opportunity of a lifetime for one lucky winner.” Female contestants must be 21 years of age or older and can come to the Studio Ninety Two model call on Thursday January 20th at 6:00 p.m. for a chance to compete in the preliminary competition at the event on February 4th. For more information please feel free to email to Penthouseitgirl@gmail.com.

sen at the event by celebrity guest judges. Our lucky winner will be crowned Penthouse Magazine Super Party “It Girl” and will appear in all local media and wrap coverage in Penthouse Magazine. Semi finalists will be selected by a panel of industry experts and will be judged on a number of categories including presentation, looks, energy/excitement and audience appeal. Our winner and one guest will have the opportunity to meet Penthouse

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Scarlette Switches Devine Decadence Birthday Party By : Ms. Misha Morê

The Scarlette Switches Devine Decadence Birthday Party took place on the Main Stage at The Church last Friday night that featured performances from The Lolliebombs Burlesque Troupe featuring Whitemeat the Clown with video by VJ S(Eye), Wanz Dover (Blixaboy, Astroblaque), Gorehounds (The Cramps Tribute) and Lollie Bombs art direction by Eric Hall. Appaloosa served as Mistress of Ceremonies for the evening’s rousing festivities. And it was really a double Birthday Celebration for Whitemeat the Clown and Ms. Scarlette. To see MORE of My work, visit: http://users.adultspace. com/MSMORE.

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Mary Bassi: NOT Too Old to Work in Strip Clubs!! Mary Bassi strikes a blow for older women (who like strip clubs) ​Women in your 50s, rejoice. Your God-given right to work in titty bars has been upheld by the federal courts. Well, maybe it wasn’t as explicitly stated as that, but the Houston office of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is reporting that Mary Bassi, who says she was harassed out of her Cover Girls waitressing job for being too old, has won a $60,000 settlement. The defendants in the case did not admit any wrongdoing. Your federal government proudly declared victory, however, on the strip-club front. “Age discrimination cannot and will not be tolerated in any business or industry in Houston,” said EEOC Regional Attorney James Sacher. “No matter what sector they occupy, business establishments are not exempt from the federal laws which protect employees from discrimination and adverse employment actions based on age.” Thirtysomething managers at Cover Girls made repeated comments about Bassi being “old” and made (very classy) jokes about Alzheimer’s, the EEOC says. “Cover Girls’ management also began hiring younger female waitresses and scheduling them for shifts in place of Bassi, despite the fact that she was performing her duties well and had received no recent disciplinary actions,” the agency said.

3D Porn channel launches in France If you were waiting for a reason to get a 3D TV, here it is. If you live in France, that is. Prolific French pornographer Marc Dorcel has launched the world’s first videoon-demand channel featuring adult films shot in the new stereoscopic 3D format. Already, there are more than 60

adult video specially created for this channel. And, Dorcel plans to continuously update with a new video every week. The service is available now on the French cable channel “Free.” When it comes to regular 3D movies, filmmakers always toss in a scene in which they poke something toward the screen to emphasize the 3D effect. So, use your imagination as to how porn in 3D would be different than what you’re used to. “At a time when audiences are more and more in demand and want to be able to watch what they want, where they want, we are proud to launch this VOD service dedicated to 3D, with already more than 60 programs in which realism is really… impressive,” said director at Marc Dorcel productions Gregory Dorcel. As of yet, we don’t know of any stereoscopic 3D porn available in the US. But stay tuned. You know it’s coming.

She was finally fired in 2006, when she was 56, “without provocation or explanation.” Nothing provocative? That’s not good for a strip club.

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Social Reject: The Story of Frankie 45 by: Dick Serious January 8, 2011

The day my heart dropped, was the morning after the New Year... I was awoken with a series of unreal Facebook messages, saying that our beloved Frankie Campagna also known by friends and fans as Frankie 45, had died, an apparent suicide. “It was an unreal shock! We just couldnt believe it! Not our Frankie, no way.” But it was real, this was really happening. The 24 year old frontman of the local Dallas greaser-punk band, Spector 45. Fankie was not your run of the mill average Joe, he was special! He had the total “it” factor, persona and stage presence. During alomst every single show, Frankie 45 would charge the audience with his amazing guitar riff’s and insane tricks!!! This was no ordinary show. Playing guitar and competing with the rock legends, he would climb up onto bars, monitors, the drums, speakers anything high enough for him to make a leap, while flying 10 feet through the air and playing guitar, never missing a single beat! “Truly special and folks I’m sorry if ya missed it... He was awesome. Just someone special in his own way, and he will be forever missed, as he touched us all.”, says Kevin Fleming, a co-worker and friend. Fankie Campagna had a long standing love and connection to his city, and his scene. He would always be hanging out, and you couldn’t help but notice that he was everywhere you went. And to top that, Spector 45 tags canvased all of Deep Ellum and most of Dallas.

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Fankie 45 once spoke of how he hated that people were giving up on this great city, and how it would bother him to hear it, “I hate people who talk about moving to Austin because Dallas sucks or that Deep Ellum is dead. This is from people who grew up and were raised here? I’m sick of hearing about how Dallas isn’t any good. And now, it’s all this talk about Denton, Austin’s little retarded cousin.” That would be that! This is who he was... Fankie grew up in Deep Ellum, a graduate of the Dallas arts magnet school, Booker T. Washington High School, he had been raised with a love for the art’s, being that his father, Frank Campagna is a Dallas mural artist. Art and freedom of expression were always part of his upbringing. Definitely an individual and raised right! It is unreal to think that a life so precious can be gone, snuffed out in such a way that a second takes forever to explain. All I ask is that before you turn away, tune out, and drop out- you really listen to the music, the feeling and emotion he gave us. Truly someone close to us all, and someone who will be missed dearly by all he touched, because Frankie 45 was a hero. An inspiration to keep going on, even when you felt like there was no point! Frankie 45 is survived by his father, Frank Campagna; sister, Amber Campagna; mother, Angela Early;

stepmother, Cindy Campagna; grandmother, Winifred Martin Campagna; aunt, Wendy Fahle; and cousins Scott & Erin Fahle.

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THE OLDER CROWD A distraught senior citizen Phoned her doctor’s office. ‘Is it true,’ she wanted to know, ‘that the medication You prescribed has to be taken For the rest of my life?’ ‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence Before the senior lady replied, I’m wondering, then, Just how serious is my condition Because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.’

Some people Try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way And some of the roads weren’t paved. *********************** When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to your youth, Think of Algebra. ***********************

An older gentleman was On the operating table Awaiting surgery And he insisted that his son, A renowned surgeon, Perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, He asked to speak to his son ‘Yes, Dad, what is it? ‘ ‘Don’t be nervous, son; Do your best And just remember, If it doesn’t go well, If something happens to me, Your mother Is going to come and Live with you and your wife....’ *********************** Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it. This is so true. I love to hear them say “you don’t look that old.” --------------------------------The older we get, The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for. ---------------------------------

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Are pushing their carts around WalMart When they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, ‘Sorry about that.. I’m looking for my wife, And I guess I wasn’t paying attention To where I was going. The young guy says, ‘That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too...’ I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate’ The old guy says, ‘Well, Maybe I can help you find her... What does she look like?’

‘ The young guy says, ‘Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, With red hair, Blue eyes, is buxomwearing no bra, Long legs, And is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’ To which the first old guy says, ‘Doesn’t matter, --- let’s look for yours.’ ********************* Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder, And, Your hand over my mouth!

You know you are getting old when Everything either dries up or leaks. *********************** One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, But being old is comfortable. First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It’s worse when You forget to pull it down. *********************** Long ago When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks, It was called witchcraft... Today, it’s called golf. *********************** Two guys one old one young

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THE HARD SCORE.com lems to an already roller coaster game. If there was a rule against predictions maybe I’d eat less antacids. Nah.

People look at rules differently. Some think they’re for those who lose their heads, others think they’re for everybody else, many think they’re a necessity, and a few think they’re for grazin’ on. Rules in sports are great if they benefit your team, and are dumb headed when against. States have governing bodies that make rules for kids who want to play high school sports, and, of course, Universities have the NCAA, which have rules governing their rules about kids who want to play sports. On the surface it’s pretty easy: if you want to play a game you have to play by the rules. Of course just to make a simplistic exercise complex, the NCAA creates rules players have to abide by just to play. Wouldn’t it be interesting if all the kids had to do was to play by the rules of the game? The NCAA’s rules today are like the results of sending a five year old in to take a bath and handing him the soap bubble jar. Yep, you know what that means. It starts off small and then you’ve got a bathroom full of bubbles. The NCAA started off with a small amount of rules governing players and now they appear to dwarf the Encyclopedia Britannica. The state of the rules is, even if they’re ridiculous and hypocritical they have to be followed. Like, you can’t make any money or accept anything of value while they’re (the

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Universities and NCAA) making money off you. This also extends to any and all family members, girlfriends, buddies, and pets. Although irritating and mostly unfair, these rules take the place of administers standing in alleys with loaded guns, and allows them to bestow upon themselves a high moral tone. That and they insure the schools don’t have to pay the kids any of those millions. But you know what? People generally put up with it. They don’t have to, it’d be easy to stage a national boycott and that practice would be changed, but no, people tolerate it. What they don’t tolerate, and get blood vessel busting mad over, are the rules conducting the sporting events themselves. Ain’t that a stroke! And the rules governing which calls can be challenged don’t have any fence straddlers, everybody thinks that’s nonsense. Or the rules governing player celebrations. Really, I can understand taunting or delay of game, but celebrating a touchdown by laying down in the end zone gets your team a fifteen yard penalty? I’ll tell you where there truly needs to be a rule, and that’s prohibiting anybody from predicting winners and losers. On Saturday I got creamed thinking both the Ravens and Falcons had the edge, but instead I got the bird. But then I turned around and patted myself on the back when the Bears leveled the Seahawks and the Jets upset the Pats. Predictions add serious stomach prob-

Here’s a good rule for players: don’t let your mouth write checks your play can’t cash. The Jets were successful with that against the Patriots, but what about when it doesn’t work? The Atlanta Thrashers came to play their once a year game against the Dallas Stars, and in the pre-game warm-ups some of the Thrashers decided it’d be a good thing to smart mouth off at the Stars. They ended up losing the game 6-1. In hockey that’s one serious butt kickin’. That same ratio in other sports means some team just got bruised beyond purple, pretty much how the Packers plucked the Falcons. Written rules and unwritten rules, the sports world’s got ‘em. I don’t mind saying that we need to reduce the number, but for all the lobbying and name calling that making those choices would result in, that invokes my number one rule: do tailgates not paperwork. NFL Here’s the question for ya’ll, when does a team’s performance make the opponents effort look better or worse than what it really was? I think three of the four division games have this question. Was Green Bay that good or Atlanta’s efforts that poor? Was Seattle that bad or Chicago that good? Did the Jet’s defense really baffle Brady and New England’s offense? The Pittsburgh and Baltimore game came down to exactly where we all thought it would, the QB’s. The Ravens could not run as advanced an offense for Flacco that the Steelers do for Roethlisberger. Next season will be Flacco’s

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fourth and hopefully his biggest growth year.

The Falcons were having problems from the start and the Packers defense grabbed it and never let up. Atlanta’s left with the question, what do they have to do to get Ryan over the playoff hump? I think the Falcon’s poor play on both sides of the ball made the Pack’s efforts look a wee tad better than what they’re actually capable of. Chicago didn’t make Seattle look worse as they were already a team in trouble. The Seahawks played over their heads against a weakened Saints offense and a defense that went strangely off kilter. What happened between New York and New England is a bit harder to decipher. How do you slow down an opponent’s quarterback and offense? Your running game is meant to keep them off the field. What the Jets did was use some running, but their defensive secondary took away a lot of Brady’s options. When Tom Brady has 6-7 seconds to pass, which he did on a few plays, and has to dump the ball or takes a sack, that’s one hell’uva defensive coverage. The Patriots offense looked surprised at what was happening and never were able to make the adjustments. Ryan outcoached Belichick and the Jets made the Patriots look worse than what that team really is. Conference Championships Sunday, Jan 23 2:00 CST

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Packers at Bears.

: TheHardScore.com : TheHardScore.com : TheHardScore.com :

Here’s your question: do you believe the Bears are real? The answer, you betta. Why? How Martz balanced out his offense. Martz has a well deserved reputation for high octane passing attacks, and has a Super Bowl championship to back it up. He also earned the rep for limited running games. Early this season the Bears were struggling and it was definitely linked to an unbalanced offense, like 40 plus passes to 10 runs. Just before the bye week head coach Smith meets with Martz who reaches clarity when it’s made crystal clear that he’ll either balance it out or watch the games from the Waffle House. Martz basically figured this was his last chance, modified his offense, and the Bears haven’t looked back. That, my friends, is why you can believe in these Bears.

It’s those three that have those in the know declaring Pittsburgh’s stronger on both sides of the ball. Folks, these Jets have just taken out the best magician in the league in Manning, and the most accurate passer in the league in Brady. I say New York’s defense is at least the equal against the Steelers offense if not the edge.

But you wanna talk about a team that’s not getting any respect, try the Philadelphia Flyers. They’re number one in the East with 63 points, and lead the Atlantic Division. You know who gets talked about more? Their division rival, the Pittsburgh Pens, who are second in the Atlantic and fourth in the Conference.

Here’s the real question for this game: does New York’s offense have to win the game? The answer here is, no.

Crosby’s been on an injury out for the Pens but the media all figure once he comes back the Flyers fold like wet noodles. I don’t think anybody’s told the Flyers they’re expected to go belly up, at least they don’t seem to get that picture.

There are plenty of examples in Super Bowl history that have QB’s that weren’t required to win the game, but to just manage it. Not every team has to have a passing attack like New Orleans did last year, or the Rams “Greatest Show on Turf” a few years ago. No, they can do it, if you’ll recall, like Baltimore did it in 2001 at XXXV vs the Giants, and that was a defensive shut down of the Giants offense.

Here’s the games question: the Pack have struggled against top tier defenses, so will they be able to match up against one of the NFL’s best? Does the same question hold for Cutler against the Pack?

Both of these games should be edge of the seat tough, fast, smart, and leave everything on the field. A great day to be a fan.

I think Rodgers is very adept at making adjustments, and knows how to work a pocket and when to break from it. And even though he’s played them three years in a row, he’s gonna struggle. IF Green Bay doesn’t take the Bears receivers out of the picture, like what the Jets did to Brady, then Cutler’s gonna pick that defense.

Just how well are the Dallas Stars seated right now? They’re 28-13 with 39 left to play, have 61 points, lead the Pacific Division and are third in the West in a tight race. Even if they don’t do as well this second half, like win only twenty, that’s still gonna give them 101 points to more than have them in the post season. But these guys aren’t gonna lose that many.

Sunday, Jan 23 5:30 CST

NHL – Stars

This is a Stars hockey team that has surprised this city, the division, the conference, and yeah, the NHL.

Jets at Steelers. The touts don’t believe this is as close a matchup as the Bears and Pack are. Don’t you believe them. New York’s played two to get here, Pittsburgh one. The Jet’s faced a little weaker defenses in, first, the Colts, and second, the Patriots. The Steelers went against the Ravens defense. The Jets have Sanchez at QB, the Steelers Roethlisberger.

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You have three Pacific division teams in the top eight, which are the only standings that matter. Dallas is at 3 with 61 points, Phoenix next at 4 with 55 points, and Anaheim at 7 with 54 points. Central has three with Detroit, Nashville, and Chicago, and the Northwest has two with Vancouver and Colorado. Dallas is only the real surprise and it comes at San Jose’s expense.

What we have now are the top teams running into the All Star break with a full head of steam, and when that’s over, we’re down to crunch time like a pit bull on a burglar’s leg. Readers Response: Two Dogs: Will the Cowboys make a run for Raiders D-back Nnamdi Asomugha now that they’ve let him void the contract? He’d sure make the difference on our D. Clay Dallas

TD Two Dogs: Who’s the most underrated player in the NBA? I say Amar’e Stoudemire, he’s turned the Knicks around and got New York jumping, I don’t care what the Nets are doing.

Nick:

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TD Two Dogs: Why did the Stars trade Brunnstrom to the Leafs je was supposed to be the frqanchise future? Don’t they develop players iny more? Karzi Dallas Karzi: He was highly touted coming over from Sweden, his agent kept negotiations going far too long, and he demanded in his contract that he would not be sent down to the minors for any reason. The Stars took a risk, and his debut was brilliant, he nailed a hat trick. After that he only nailed splinters on the bench. He needed to be in the minors to learn the NHL game but refused, and he simply never grasped the game on this side of the pond. He wasn’t even good enough to make a fourth line contribution so his roster space hurt the team. One of Dallas’s more pronounced busts. TD

Clay: I agree, if Jones is to make just one defensive acquisition this offseason it should be Nnamdi, he’s a shut down corner from the word go. He’s very smart, he’s very fast, and he’s a very good man on and off the field. His charity work is truly that and he’s helped a lot of young people. I hope Jones makes him a priority.

Nick Oklahoma City

I’d have to say JR Smith with the Nuggets, he can make Amar’e look like he’s about to become the fourth Stooge.

Two Dogs: If I had a dollar for every time you jerks picked a good player or team I’d be broke. I’d just as soon believe in Santa Claus before I’ll trust your picks again. Larry Irving Larry: Hey, Santa Claus is my guy. And, it sounds to me like you’re losing money on fantasy football. Bookies and touts make money off people like you because you’re too stupid to do your own research. Rely on somebody else for your money and you’ll always lose it. TD Pat “Two Dogs” Snow twodogs@anemagazine.com

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orilla gadgets

Fashion photographer Henry Hargreaves has created an assemblage of beautiful images of the female form in a

breasts. The exceptional models in 3DD appear in third dimension when viewed through the included special

odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff!

Blackbird Lucky 13 Guitar Inspired by early 20th century 12th fret guitars,

the Blackbird Lucky 13 Guitar ($1,800) packs full-size sound into a three-quarter sized body. This is made possible by the Lucky 13’s hollow-neck carbon fiber construction and head mounted Stereo Sound Port, which combine to offer a fuller sound. Other features include a 3D sculpted back, a unique 13th fret neck connection that allows for greater fret access while retaining the tonally preferable bridge placement, and a classic shape that mixes the new and old with class and style.

Bulldog Gin

Add an extra bit of oomph to your New Years martinis, long islands, and slings with Bulldog Gin ($30).

Handcrafted in London using traditional copper pot stills and twelve unique botanicals, Bulldog offers fruit and citrus notes, a smooth texture, and crisp taste that make it perfect for mixing or solo sipping. As a bonus, the distinctive bottle with a spiked collar is sure to draw more than a few questions from your fellow revelers.

unique way—in 3D. And as you’ll see in the enclosed book, 3DD is every inch what its subtitle promises: A 3D celebration of

blackbirdguitar.com www.crownwineandspirits.com

The sport is back in flying…

the world’s best aerospace engineers and

Since the FAA’s dramatic regulation changes in 2004 created the new Light Sport Aircraft category, ICON Aircraft’s sole purpose has been to bring the freedom, fun, and adventure of flying to all who have dreamed of flight. With these groundbreaking FAA rules solidified, ICON believes that consumerfocused sport aircraft can do for recreational flying what personal watercraft did for boating. ICON’s sport aircraft are not only designed to deliver an amazing and safe flying experience, but also to inspire us the way great sports cars do. After years of development with some of

ICON 100: The first 100 customer deliveries are reserved for the ICON 100 program. ICON 100 aircraft will be a Limited Edition (LE) series with custom paint and interior, and come with a fixed price purchase. More information about the additional benefits of the ICON 100 program can be found here. industrial designers, ICON Aircraft has released the first of its line of sport planes, the ICON A5. The A5 is a bold yet elegant design that communicates beauty, performance, safety, and most importantly… fun. Choose your ICON A5 delivery position today

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With orders building rapidly and production capacity limited in the early years, customers are advised to secure a delivery position now to minimize the wait time. Choose your delivery position by selecting either the ICON 100 or standard A5 deposit program.

- Fixed Price: $135,000 USD (standard equipment) with no CPI increase - Deposit: $100,000 USD (refundable, transferable) - Delivery Date: ICON 100 deliveries are scheduled to begin fall 2011. - To Order:

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glasses using the classic (but newly again popular) process of anaglyph imaging. As a gift or a keepsake, 3DD will be treasured by anyone with an appreciation of the classic art of the nude female form.

http://www.amazon.com

Please email or call our Vice President of Sales at (424) 201-3509 Standard A5: Alternatively, customers can secure the next available A5 delivery position using a credit card to place a deposit either online or by calling ICON directly at (424) 201-3505. The following terms apply: - Estimated Price: $139,000 USD (standard equipment) plus CPI increase - Deposit: $5,000 USD (refundable for any reason and escrowed with a 3rd party) - Delivery Date: Standard A5 deliveries are scheduled to begin fall 2012, with position 500 delivery estimated for 2014.

http://www.iconaircraft.com

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Pre-opening, Pre-review – Ricks DFW Cabaret

everything – well nearly everything.

By W.R. Maxwell

On January 20th at 6:01 pm, the doors will swing open on the latest adult entertainment venue in the Metroplex. If I were asked to name the new adult cabaret just south of the DFW airport, I would conjure up such corn-ball monikers as ; The Co-pilot’s Cabaret, or Exotic Airways, or The Landing Strip or Fort Worth’s Flights of Fantasy. Fortunately, the corporate executives of Rick’s International were smart enough to not ask me to name their club and have simple called it ‘Rick’s DFW Cabaret’. The new club is a mere 3 miles south of the south end of the runway and so new you’d swear the paint was still drying. Nestled between 2 gigantic billboards at 15000 Airport Freeway (the east bound service road) the club is surprisingly easy to get to. You just take the Amon Carter exit. It doesn’t mater what road you are on or what direction you are going – just take the Amon Carter exit. If you are east bound on SH-183 – take the Amon Carter exit and stay on the service road. If you are west bound – take the Amon Carter exit, turn left and then turn right onto the east bound service road. If you are on North bound SH-360 – take the Amon Carter exit and stay on the east bound service road. The only tricky part is the single driveway into the parking lot. If you miss it, drive around the block – ‘cause the service road is one-way. If you need more help with directions, go to www.ricks.com and find the map. The 10,000 square foot club has been outfitted with a state-of-theart lighting and sound system that set the owners back 300 big ones. There are speakers everywhere, except where they have hung 2-236 inch HD projection TV screens. Yup, I said 236 ! That’s nearly 20 feet across ! There are movie theaters with screens smaller than that. But get this sports fans, Eric Rubenstein the manager, says that for the

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super bowl, they are shutting off the music and showing the big game on their big screens for the biggest football fans in America. Of course the dancers will be doing their own routines during half time, but after that, it’s game-on. Who will win? My money is on the dancers. The club is furnished with barrelstyle chairs on the split-level seating floor and the walls are lined with intimate booths; just in case you hookup with someone you want to be cozy with. The walls are cranberry red and the expensive carpeting looks like it belongs in the lobby of the Aldophis Hotel – not a topless bar. Guys, don’t you dare spill your beer on the new carpeting – and wipe your feet at the door. Didn’t your mama raise you better? The club has 4 stages with the main stage looking like a helicopter landing pad, but with a brass dancer’s pole where the helicopter should be (they don’t like it when I call them stripper poles.) And the stages are barely 30 inches above floor level so you’ll be a little closer to the dancer when you are giving your favorite heart-throb a dollar (or two or three or . . .). At least as close as the law will allow. Remember guys, you are not with the TSA and are not allowed to pat-down the dancers, even if they are members of the mile-high club. The way these girls are dressed (or not dressed) you won’t need any electronic imagery machine to see

Ricks DFW is a sexually orientated restaurant as well. The lunch menu fires up on January 24th and is 10 or 12 entrées for just $6. The dinner menu costs more, but you get a bigger selection – besides, there are more dancers in the evening. Ricks starts serving dinner on their very first day – January 20th. No, I can’t tell you how good the food is – the kitchen wasn’t open when I had my tour. Remember, this is a pre-opening pre-review.

my wife or Katy’s husband. Have I left anything out? Only the main attraction - the performers! Eric tells me that on Fridays and Saturdays the club will have 60 to 100 entertainers and I don’t think he meant carnival jugglers. No sir. We’re talking about young, pretty and shapely exotic dancers. Did I say pretty? I should have said beautiful! It’s a good thing they are open to 4 am, with that many girls. So where did Rick’s find so many girls, you ask? Many of them are newly hired, so there will be a lot of fresh faces . . and other body parts, too. If you’re like me, you always get attracted to the other body parts.

Does this sound like the perfect adult entertainment venue or what? Yes, but like everything, there is a Did you know, Rick’s Cabaret Inter- downside. The neighbors are not national is a publicly traded corpothrilled and have made a big stink ration (see nasdaq - RICK) . . . hum- down in Austin. For the last year, mm, I wonder if all those newly hire Rick’s DFW Cabaret has not been performers get stock options stuffed able to get a liquor permit from the in their G-string along with dollar Texas Alcoholic Beverage Combills? Also, I wonder if you get VIP mission; therefore their opening treatment if you are a stock owner? will be as a BYOB club. The chief object to this adult entertainment seems to be that the neighbors don’t want anyone having a good time so close to their dull and listless warehouses. Go figure. Anyway, the club will stay BYOB, and have a $20 nighttime cover charge, until at least March, which means you have to packin your own liquid refreshments. Sure the management can sell you ice and mixes, but the booze is on yous. (god, my English teacher must be rolling over in her grave) The nearest beer store is the Valero gas station ½ a mile Rick’s stock prices have taken a hit away at FAA Blvd and Fleetwood. due to the recession, but they appear My friend Binaya may not be ready to be making a come back and they for the rush of thirsty customers, but did it without any government bail- there are other convenience stores out money. Take than AIG, GM, at Trinity Blvd. and SH-360, ready Bear Stearns, JPMorgan, Merrill to serve all your beer running needs. Lynch, etc. etc. But, for you poor fellows who like the hard stuff, the nearest liquor The club’s music is provided by vet- store is 8 ½ miles away on Bass Pro eran dj, Scott T. who has been play- Drive in Grapevine or 9 miles away ing clubs for about 20 years. So I on Spur 482 in Dallas; your choice. guess he should have all the MetBut for the lady customers who like alica and ZZ Top albums, as well the hard stuff, they won’t have to go as Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, but so far. I’m sure the gentlemen at the please, PLEASE, no Justin Bieber! next table will be more than happy Actually, now that I think about it, to share their hard stuff with them. I’d love to have me a piece of Lady Isn’t that why they call these estabGaga or Katy Perry, just don’t tell lishments’ gentlemen’s clubs?

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Sex toy drive-thru opens in Alabama after finding a loophole in the law.

Business is brisk with cars lining up three deep at a new drive-thru in Alabama that fought the law to sell adult items including vibrators, lubricants, lingerie and sex toys to customers who seek privacy and convenience. The Pleasures store in Huntsville is owned by Sherri Williams who found a loophole in the conservative Bible belt state's anti-obscenity laws.

In November, Williams held the grand opening for an expanded Pleasures store in an old bank building at a busy intersection.

The Pleasures sign flickers over the former bank building in Huntsville, just across the road from a McDonald's It seemed like a waste not to use the old drive-thru window once run by bank tellers, so workers now sell all sorts of adult products from the side of the building.

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The law does not ban possession. But under the legal loophole customers buying sex toys fill out an anonymous form with 10 questions including whether they or a partner have difficulty with sexual fulfillment.

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maximum penalty of a $10,000 fine and one year in jail.

Brandi McNaron shows her driver's license to a Pleasures romance shop employee as she goes through the store's drive thru Pleasures owner Sherri Williams holds up the medical checklist that shoppers must fill out, which lets the store operate via a legal loophole 'It's been doing well, and really well on nights when it's cold or rainy,' said employee Toni Kennedy. 'Discretion and the ease of it are big, and convenience. We're Americans. We like everything convenient.'

Just like at a fast-food restaurant, there's a brightly lit sign outside with products and prices - herbal 'enhancement pills' are eight dollars per dose. Williams believes her drive-thru is the first in the country to offer adult novelties for sale. Employee Gabrielle Silva, holding a handful of condoms, operates the drive thru. A few yards away from Pleasures, on the other side of a curb, workers at a neighbouring McDonald's restaurant dish out fries and burgers.

A 1998 law banned the sale of products intended for sexual stimulation. With two sex-toy stores in Alabama's Tennessee Valley, Williams sued to overturn the law with the help of the American Civil Liberties Union.

Police say they've had no complaints over Pleasures and don't pay it more attention than other stores. 'Right now there's not really anything for us to do with it,' said Mark Roberts, a spokesman with the Huntsville Police Department.

She won initially when a federal judge ruled in 1999 there was no rational basis for the law. But the state appealed and Williams lost, allowing the law to remain on the books. The US Supreme Court refused to hear the case in 2007, ending Williams' challenge. Distribution of sex toys is a misdemeanour on the first offence with a

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