Issuu on Google+


METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 2


Cami Parker Girly Girl by W.R Maxwell Cami Parker, the featured cover girl of this week’s ANE Magazine is a wonder to behold, but is probably more wondrous to hold – and hold on tight. She is a 5’ – 4” bundle of sexiness that can set you heart thumping and your manhood throbbing; for a price. I can say this with all honesty because Cami is a licensed sex worker in the State of Nevada and works at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch near Carson City. She measures 32DD – 24 – 34 and her

small frame makes her breasts look very prominent indeed. As you can see from the photos, she likes getting wet, but not just on laundry day. Her favorite place for sex is on a tropical beach with a handsome gentleman and a dozen or so spectators; at a discrete distance, of course. The Bunny Ranch has no ocean and alas, no beach. If California eventually does slide into the Pacific, Miss Parker may get her wish, and I will surely be one of the spectators, although the ravages of time prevent me from playing the part of the handsome gentleman. Cami is a big time exhibitionist and loves it when the men around her are ‘pussy watching’ in her direction. Cami has been working at the Bunny Ranch for 2 years, which makes her ‘an experienced veteran’ in an industry where the average stay of employment is just a few months. She has such a large following of regular clients (male groupies ?) that now she sees only one client a day, but her sex parties last for hours. Cami really likes to get to know her clients and you just can’t do that during a 15-minute ‘half & half encounter’. While you may see her as one of the typical ‘working girls’ in the brothel’s line-up, as she is shown in episodes of HBO’s Cathouse, she is far from ordinary. For one thing, she is sleeping with her boss and owner of the Bunny Ranch, Dennis Hof, and I must say, Dennis has excellent taste in women. To Cami, Dennis is a very sexy man and she wanted to bang him from the moment they first met. Yes, you can say Cami has a thing for older men. Want may have started as lust at first sight, has turned into a loving relationship and the two are inseparable; except when Cami is wearing

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

her working girl uniform; her birthday suit; and with a client. Guys; Cami loves to get love letters in her fan mail and has been know to sometimes send back a reply, complete with photos. So dust off that romantic sonnet you wrote back in high school and drop her a line. Send all fan mail to the Bunny Ranch; 69 Moonlight Rd., Carson City, NV 89706. But guys do not confuse Cami with the stereotypical dumb blonde. She majored in creative writing at the prestigious New York University, so that sonnet better not have any speling misstakes. And since Miss Parker is a trained writer, let’s hope she

writes her memoirs soon and hope that Hollywood makes her book into a movie. Even though the film may be given an x-rating, and therefore not shown at most theaters, I’d sure buy the video - and the book. When not working, Cami loves horseback riding, reading, Asian cuisine, furry pet animals, and fashion – especially expensive shoes. She would like to travel and see the whole world, (wouldn’t everyone) so I bet she searches the personal columns looking for ‘successful gentlemen with own private jet, condo in the Bahamas’. But, let me caution you on the Bahamas thing – hurricane Irene wrecked a lot of the condos, so find a guy with more than one island. Cami says she once had sex on the observation deck of the empire state building and that she dreams about sex every night, but she has yet to join the ‘mile high club’, which is one of her goals in life. She just hasn’t found a guy brave enough to ‘do’ her on an airplane. Let’s hope the new Boeing 797 Dreamliner has bigger restrooms. Before coming to the Bunny Ranch, Cami says she was so sexually frustrated that she was on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome from masturbating so much. She admits to being a “very horny person who loves sex” – on top, on the bottom or in a group with bodies coupled in every imaginable combination – it’s all good. She is perfectly suited for her job because she is very multi-orgasmic and never, ever says ‘please, no more, I’ve had enough’. Her motto is “every body needs to love and be loved” and she’s always looking for love. For that one lucky guy who makes an appointment with her (days in advance), I’m sure he’ll get lots of loving – more than his money’s worth. Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 3


METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 4


PLEASURE BOX: THE 12 DVD SURRENDER CINEMA ARCHIVE BOX SET!!! Available exclusively at fullmoondirect.com SCI-FI EROTICA AT ITS BEST! This is NOT available at retail. This is a fullmoondirect.com EXCLUSIVE! THIS SURRENDER “DIRTY DOZEN” IS $90!!! LIMITED TO 900 UNITS NUMBERED AND

SIGNED

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 5


Chinese Men & Women turn to Pole-Dancing to Tone Their Physique After noticing the positive effects pole-dancing has on the bodies of

female practitioners, a growing number of Chinese men decided to get past their inhibitions and started practicing pole dancing as a way to strengthen their muscles.

activity. According to Yan Shaoxuan, a young instructor at a poledancing school in Beijing, poledancing is a really effective workout that strengthens the muscles and helps define men’s chest and abdomen. Until recently, pole-dancing was a taboo topic in Chinese society, associated with sex and nightclubs, but as more and more men take up these classes, general perception is starting to change. Some gyms have even started offering pole-dancing classes to attract clients. All around the world, pole-dancing experts are trying to change people’s minds and get them to see their passion for what it really is – a sporting activity that requires great skill and years of practice to master.

China is the home country of popular martial arts like Kung Fu and Tai Chi, and engaging sports like dragon boat racing, but young Chinese men seem to prefer more modern activities that, until recently, have been considered a feminine

Round up ya mates and come on down to join in the fun, as they cap off the summer at the British Bike Burnup, at Hollywood 5&Dime in Dallas (across from Fair Park).. There will be refreshments at the 5&Dime canopy, and an event T shirt in the shop for purchase.. Come on down and we’ll, See ya there... Keep the dirty side down, and the fun side up.. And, “like” Hollywood 5&Dime on FACEBOOK.. You’ll be glad you did!!! And of course, your welcome to share this event.. More at stylekat.com, just clink on “Links” in the text on the home page, and view photo’s and video from past events..

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 6


ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

Giggle, Grin, Groan submitted by: W. R. Maxwell A woman, who had 10 previous husbands, marries a lawyer. She tells him she is still a virgin and can’t wait to finally have sex. The lawyer says, how can this be true? You had 10 previous marriages. Didn’t any of those men make love to you? She replied, no, they all had their own reasons ; Husband #1 was a salesman and he kept telling me how great it was going to be. #2 was an I.T. technician and he said he didn’t know how it was supposed to function, but he would get back to me. #3 was a computer repairman and he ran a diagnostic on the hardware, but he could not get the system up. Husband #4 was a telemarketer and was always standing by. #5 was an engineer who understood the basic process, but needed 3 years to design a new state-of-the-art method. #6 was a labor union organizer. He said he knew how to do it, but wasn’t sure it was his job or not. #7 was a radio announcer and all he wanted to do was talk about it. #8 was in marketing research. He knew he had a nice product, but was never sure how to position it. #9 was a voyeur, but all he wanted to do was look at it. Pepsi Co. and Pfizer Pharmaceuticals have teamed up to make a new soft drink with Viagra in it. However, they don’t know what to call this new beverage. It is hardly a soft drink at all, since it makes all the men ‘hard’. And when mixed with alcohol, every drink becomes a ‘stiff’ drink. After consuming several can of the new Viagra laced beverage, an ad agency ‘came up’ with the perfect name for the drink ‘MOUNT AN DO’. Look for it on your store shelves soon. ----------A man had gotten a terrible sun burn. It was so bad, he was admitted to a hospital. After spending the first night there, he complained to the doctor about the pain from his blistered skin, so the doctor prescribed Viagra. It won’t help the sun burn heal any quicker, but at least it will keep the sheets off of him. ----------You’ve heard of the doggie-style sex position; where the man enters the woman from behind. Now there is a new sex position called the ‘trick dog’ position, thats where the woman rolls over and plays dead. -----------A middle aged couple were at the Ft. Worth Live Stock Show and were looking at all the prize winning bulls on display. The owner of one of the bulls proudly told them his animal had mated 365 times in the previous year. The woman said “Thats great! He did it once a day! I wish my husband was like that.” Then the man replied, “Oh

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

yah? The bull didn’t have to do it with the same cow all the time.” A woman was very upset with her new husband. She had married a well tanned, well muscled and well ‘hung’ fellow who also happened to be a nudist. Everyday he would sun bath in the nude by the pool, which made her very angry. Finally she told her husband that his naked sun bathing was making her very upset. He had always thought she loved his physique and asked why this bothered her so much. She said she did love his masculine form, but that she had told the neighbors she had married him for his money. ----------A man walks in to a bar with his pet alligator and announces to the crowd that he has taught his pet a new trick. He says he can place his genitals in the ‘gator’s mouth for 1 minute with the alligator’s mouth closed and not be harmed. The crowd jeers at him saying that no gator can do that, so the man sets the gator on a pool table, un-zips his pants and put man-hood in the mouth of the alligator. After 1 minute is up, the man raps the gator on his head with a beer bottle and his private parts emerge completely unharmed. The follow repeats this trick several time through out the night, and finally he says he’ll pay $100 to anyone who is brave enough to try this trick. The bar goes completely quiet and no one is brave enough to take the dare. Finally, a woman on the far side of the bar steps up and says she’ll do the trick, but only if the man doesn’t hit her in the head too hard. -----------A pair of newly weds arrive at a motel late Saturday night and for the next week they never leave their motel room and they never order room service for meals. Thinking something might be wrong, the manager knocks on their door and asks if they are all right and if they are hungry. To which the couple replies, “we are fine and are living on the fruits of love.” The manager say, “well I just thought the man would like some-thing to eat other than her peach and that the woman might be tired of only eating his banana.” -------------One evening during dinner, a spunky old woman at the nursing home takes off all her clothes, stands on the table and holds a closed paper sack high above her head. She announces to the crowd, “who ever can guess what I have in the bag can have sex with me.” A man across the dinning hall says “an elephant.” To which the old lady says “close enough!” -----------A guy walks into a bar and sees a large jar stuffed full of $10 bills. He asks the bartender about it and the barman says if you put $10 in the jar and pass 3 tests of manly courage, you get the jar full of money. The man put in his $10 and ask what are these 3 tests. The bartender says, first you have to drink a gallon of tequila, then pull a tooth out of the mouth of the pit-bull guard dog we keep out back, then you have to make love to the 90-year old woman at the end of the bar and bring her to orgasm. The man thinks it over, then downs the gallon of tequila in a single gulp and heads out the back door looking for the dog. Soon, there is a heck of a racket from behind the bar. The patrons hear screams and barks and growls and yelps, but then silence. Finally, the man staggers back into the bar and asks, “which tooth should I pull out of the old lady?”

www.METROANE.com

Page 7


THE HARD SCORE Big 10 or SEC, arguably the two top powerhouse programs in the country, so strong they don’t have to listen to ESPN, they negotiate.

I’ve received more than a ton of emails regarding the possible loss of Texas A&M from the Big 12 Conference, haters on both sides of the issue the biggest contributors. It’s not just emotion coming out its people who’ve done some very creative revisionist history writing (that’s polite talk for they don’t know what they’re talkin’ about).

the pros. We grow up that way and love it. The only successful out of state rivalry is the TX-OU game. I don’t care who you talk to, rivalries are the greatest thing in sports and bring more fans and enthusiasm than any other event. But this is Texas.

Considering the short term memory loss appears rampant, let’s clear the air about how the Big 12 came about.

What we now have are Texas programs saying that they believe that not just more interstate contests can be successful but the traditions no longer matter. Do you think that Aggies versus the Gators is a great game? That’s the cost to get in bed with ESPN and large advertising dollars.

The original Southwest Conference had Arkansas, UT, A&M, TCU, Rice, Tx Tech, Baylor, SMU, and Houston. It was known as a one state organization and I guess they had to call it the SWC because Arkansas was in it, so they couldn’t call it the All Texas Conference, although I thought the ATC had a nice ring to it. In 1990, after 75 years, Arkansas bolted from the SWC because of a restructuring of sports television packaging. And right there, if you’re a detective, is what brings the first sniff to the nose: tv sports packaging. After tasting that first bit of power in manipulating a major conference’s makeup, TV would never be content to be an outside objective observer again. In 1996 the SWC ceased to exist. TX, A&M, Tech and Baylor joined the Big 8 Conference to form the new Big 12. TCU, Rice, and SMU joined the WAC, and Houston joined the new C-USA. What sports television exposure means to Universities for student enrollments and big dollar TV contracts, is also what compelled the schools to toss the old ideals of loyalty and tradition out the proverbial window. Here’s a main piece of the argument: Texas has long been great for internal rivalries, from high school to college to

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

There are other rivalries, interstate rivalries like Ohio and Michigan, but those were born a long time ago.

There are those that say the only one doing this is A&M, but no, this all started with Arkansas breaking out of the SWC. Aside from A&M’s actions, who’s to blame for what’s going on? Yes, ESPN, but the Texas program has gone so wild that they’ve created this mess. By their greed and demands, UT forced Nebraska and Colorado to leave the Big 12, that’s the flat out of it. And that’s what’s pushing A&M. And all this talk about Notre Dame coming in, please, they’ve turned every invitation to leave their independent status and join a conference for decades. And since they get a BCS invite to a bowl game, they have even less incentive to join the Big 12. And BYU? Their enticement would be joining a FBS (Football Bowl Subdivision, formerly Division 1-A, the higher of the two Division 1 programs) for all sports. This would get them a shot at a national title, but they’d still be second fiddle to UT on the money end.

Texas A&M appears to only be concerned that the Big 12 is going to charge them a major fee to leave, well, I think their concern should be greater. I think if they want to leave and join the SEC or any other conference that takes them away from playing Texas schools, then they should forfeit all their state tax dollars. That’s right. No public tax dollars should support a program that doesn’t play the strength of its schedule within Texas. Why the hell should we pay for a school that plays for everybody east of here? If the legislature hangs that over A&M’s heads that would probably induce them to stay. Grumpily, but stay. But the legislature also needs to step in and pull the reins in on UT and get them to agree to parity within the conference. Do I think it unreasonable to say they must play a majority of games inside Texas? Nope. Hey, the SEC is basically in a small area, so’s the ACC and Big East, and the Big 10 and PAC 10. Texas is in the lower center of the United States. It was bad enough for fans having to go to Nebraska or Colorado (next to nil student attendance) so what would it be like for students trying to attend SEC games? I don’t want BYU or Notre Dame, I want Arkansas back in, and reel in LSU. Those two are strong programs and neighbors and that would add to the conference and fun. Readers Response: Two Dogs: A friend told me that a sports show said that some NFL teams do facial profiling to determine success? I know that good looking can open doors for men and women in business but in a job that demands brains, skills, aptitude, and talent? Is this true? I think its bull.

ESPN hasn’t had the same impact on the

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

Dean Argyle

Dean: I’ve never actually seen it done so can’t swear to it, and I don’t know how it’s practiced, but yes, I’ve heard stories of it. Teams go to all kinds of lengths and dig into odd corners to get an edge, and apparently some feel like a person’s “looks” is an indication of whether they’ll be successful or not. They used to do cranial mapping to determine if a person was going to be a criminal or not, and that was eventually tossed as being unreliable. Duh. There are probably some who pick their fantasy teams this way. TD Two Dogs: If you’re gonna deliberately walk the batter, why not just wave him on to first and not go through that stupid act? I’ve heard from many who say that would be disrespecting the game. I think that’s a load. They move the catcher out away from his position and the pitcher throws a ball that is several feet away from the batter so he has no chance at hitting it. So that is respectful to the game? Why not just tell the ump and he sends the batter to first and get on with it? At least the pitcher throws four less balls, which saves his arm, and the walk could be charged to the team and not count against the pitcher. Carl Grand Prairie Carl: I gotta admit, that’s the first time someone said that to me. I’ve chewed on this, then I had a couple a cold ones and thought some more, and hey, I think you got a great point. It’s a strategy call by the team not a pitching outcome, and it does look kinda stupid, doesn’t it. You want me to sign on your petition to the Commish, let me know. TD

www.METROANE.com

Page 8


: TheHardScore : TheHardScore : TheHardScore : Two Dogs: I fail to see the difference between Cowboys QB’s Romo and Kitna, other than Romo wasted the team’s first half of last season and Kitna won for them. Why isn’t Kitna the starter or being allowed to honestly compete for the starting job? Ellwood Norman Ellwood: Let me put this in terms that will help you see the difference. Do you like pancakes? Well, pancakes are generally good all the time, this is like Kitna. In the South, some make pancakes with cake flour, these are even better pancakes, and that’s like Romo. Kitna’s a very serviceable backup, probably the best in the league for Dallas’s system, but Romo’s an even better fit for this system, and with Garrett as the coach. There were a lot of things that contributed to last year’s folly, now we all get a chance to see who’s really learned from it. Pass the syrup. TD Two Dogs: I don’t get what it is that you don’t like about fantasy football. The players are real, the games are real, and the stats are real. It’s all based on real. YOU need to get real. Yourin Dallas Yourin: What, as real as your name? Do you know what a tamagotchi experience is? It’s someone who gets the sense they’re tending to living things. Like playing with inanimate items and attaching real feelings to it, much like someone who plays with dolls. You’re getting kicks off the stats of a player in a game, I’m having fun watching a real game. Maybe if YOU didn’t feel weird you wouldn’t be writing to get my approval. And if you’re feeling lonely, go check out the tamagotchi, guy like you’d probably fall in love with the critters. I know a couple of Psychologists who’d get a kick out of working with a whack job like you, let me know and I’ll get you an appointment. TD Two Dogs: I don’t have a problem with Chris John-

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

son wanting to be among the highest paid players in the NFL, there hasn’t been a running back close to him these last two years. If the Titans weren’t so cheap they’d do it.

ARE YOU A HIP, AND TRENDY SPORTS BAR or just a good place for a beer and sports? Call and find out how you can become THE OFFICIAL SPONSOR of the award winning “THE HARD SCORE” sports column. Get premium print ad placement and become the Official Sponsor on TheHardScore. Email sales@metroane.com or call 214-638-6397.

Ferrel Canton Ferrel: You might want to actually do some research there, ace, Adrian Peterson has just about duplicate numbers as your CJ. Johnson’s a speed demon but AP breaks more tackles. No owner wants to pay a player out of his position because of the slotting system used to draft and pay players. If they bump CJ up, all the other RB’s and their agents will then come a’calling. Yeah, he’s outplayed his contract, no doubt, but he signed one. Besides, the majority of running backs in the NFL have a short life time and giving CJ a huge contract with big guaranteed dollars is a hell’uva coin toss to make with the clubs treasury.

Shannon Dallas Shannon: There are too many in the upper ranks that don’t know diddly about sports but have marketing and communications degrees, don’t give a rats about sports, and they just want controversy because it “sells”, even if they have to create it. And they are desperate to have their cameras more involved with decisions made on the field because it makes them more a part of things and enhances their product. I don’t think that what’s good for ESPN is necessarily good for sports. TD

TD Two Dogs: Would you agree there’s “smart” stubborn and “stupid” stubborn, and which would you place Bengals owner Mike Brown in? The Pacer Man Cincinnati TPM: I don’t believe in stubborn. I don’t care too much for “being right”. What I do care about is making effective decisions, and realizing that any decision must have built in flexibility. I like tough and honorable and Brown’s obviously both, but he doesn’t appear to have the capacity for flexibility in the decision making departments within a large organization. It’s almost like he’s trying to run the Bengals like they’re his own small personal family and he takes disagreement like a tyrant does. Maybe Al Davis is on a boat that’s sailed into weird waters but Brown’s simply a man who doesn’t know what he’s doing. TD Two Dogs: Isn’t ESPN involved too deeply with UT and its Longhorn Network? What’s their problem?

Two Dogs: Fred Couples picks Tiger Woods to be on the President’s Cup team, that’s one of the dumbest moves I have ever seen. Either the PGA put pressure on him to do it, or he’s living in some kind of fantasy land about any golfer’s “current” ability. Whoever picks these so called Captains needs to be removed and Couples needs to be removed and then Woods needs to be removed. There are some good young players that are playing solid golf “right now” and Couples doesn’t have to wait for them to “play well” at least once before the tournament. Woods head has been out of it for over a year and it’s not anywhere near being back. Bob Red Oak Bob: I can’t find anything to disagree with. TD Two Dogs:Why did the Colts wait so long in bringing a backup in for Manning? Why, knowing that he’d had his second neck surgery, did they give him a huge contract? If that neck surgery was such a routine procedure, what’s the problem? Eric Dallas

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

Eric: Nobody inside is going to tell us what was behind all those decisions, or at least not until a book comes out. I think people sometimes let the I believe syndrome block their objective views. Manning believed he knew his own body and the Colts believed him. Then, again ignoring what problem would cause a second surgery and believing the fans would draw and quarter them if they didn’t make Peyton take a huge contract, they gave him the big bucks. You’ll notice that neither Peyton nor the Colts have stated with clarity exactly what the procedure was and why the doctors believe it’s taking so long to heal. Here’s the worse problem, Manning’s a practice freak, he wants routes and he wants timing and he wants everyone doing the repetitions. And he’s getting’ none of it. Not knowing what caused the neck problem, even if cleared medically to practice, if he goes out and drives it like he typically does, what are the chances it increases the odds of yet another problem occurring? Do you think there’s some stomach’s churning in Indy right now? TD Two Dogs: Is the weak side the closest to the sideline or the side without the tight end? Is there a major problem with the Cowboys D? Barry Muenster Barry: It’s to the side without the tight end. Corners Newman and Jenkins haven’t been able to practice and for Ryan’s high octane defense, that’s a disaster. You ain’t gonna learn this one from the book, you gotta be inside the sucker on the field. This is not where you want your starting corners to be. TD

www.METROANE.com

Page 9


orilla gadgets odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff!

So the next time your eyeing the neighbor lady across the street through the blinds on those old school binoculars, well have we got something for you. The DEV-5 Digital Recordable Binoculars With Stereo 3D Recording. When we think of 3D video recording options, binoculars aren’t exactly the first things that come to mind. Yet here we are, looking at these Sony DEV-5 Digital Recordable Binoculars ($2,000). Far from your average good for the

cheap seats specs, these high-end optics feature Full HD 3D recording capability thanks to twin G Lens optics, Exmor R CMOS sen-

sors, and BIONZ processors, 10x optical zoom during 2D recording and 5.4x when shooting in 3D, electronic autofocus, optical SteadyShot

image stabilization, independent electronic viewfinders, an on-board GPS receiver, HDMI output, and a rechargeable battery good for up to three hours of 2D filming. Creepy Neighbor get yours today.

http://store.sony.com

Desktop Jellyfish Tank A Product Design project in San Francisco, CA by Alex I want anyone to be able to have their own pet jellyfish. Through Kickstarter, I’m proud to introduce the Desktop Jellyfish Tank. It’s the first affordable aquarium designed specifically for jellyfish and it’s as easy to maintain as a regular fish tank. Now Kickstarter donors can pre-order the first tanks that get produced. Jellyfish can’t go in a regular fish tank because they get sucked into the filtration intakes and liquefied. I started a business called Jellyfish Art experimenting with different tank designs in my cousin’s

garage until I figured out how to retrofit an existing fish tank to be suitable for jellyfish. It was a challenging and lengthy process, but it allowed me to start selling the first edition desktop tanks online at jellyfishart.com. Lots of people loved these tanks, but I still wanted a design I could control from the bottom up that would be specifically designed for jellyfish. Now after spending a year developing prototypes, I’m proud to finally launch this new Desktop Jellyfish Tank. It comes with everything you need to get started and Kickstarters have the chance to place preorders at a discounted price by donating $350. Kickstarters get a voucher worth $50 redeemable towards jellyfish and food from our website.

http://www.jellyfishart.com

The new 458 Spider joins the 458 Italia, widening the

range of Ferrari’s mid-rear engined V8s and offering the same uncompromising technological solutions, handling and performance in a refined open-top configuration. It is equipped with a Ferrari patented, fully retractable hard top, a world first for a sports car with this lay-out. The 458 Spider is powered by Ferrari’s naturally-aspirated, direct-injection 4.5 litre V8 which was nominated as the 2011 International Engine of the Year for its engineering excellence in terms of driveability, performance, economy and refinement. The power is transferred to the road by Ferrari’s class-leading dual-clutch F1 paddleshift transmission through the sophisticated E-Diff, itself integrated with the F1-Trac traction control and high-performance ABS for maximum handling dynamics. Certain of the car’s features, such as its accelerator pedal mapping and the damping of the multilink suspension,

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

have been calibrated to guarantee maximum sportiness and absolute driving pleasure with the top down, in line with Maranello’s exclusive spider tradition. Even the engine soundtrack has been honed to ensure that the car’s occupants are completely captivated by the drop-top driving experience. Entirely in aluminium, the hard-top solution adopted for the 458 Spider offers a number of advantages over the traditional folding soft-top, including a reduction of 25 kg in weight and a deployment time of just 14 seconds. Fully integrated into the styling of the car, the hard-top was engineered to fit neatly ahead of the engine bay without

compromising aerodynamics or the performance of the car. The small space needed to house the roof enables the designers to include a generous rear bench for luggage behind the seats.

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

The rear of the car is characterised by innovative forms with the buttresses designed to optimise the flow of air to the engine intakes and the clutch and gearbox oil radiators. For maximum comfort whilst driving top down the 458 Spider features a generously-sized adjustable electric wind stop. The design was perfected to slow and diffuse the air in the cockpit, enabling normal conversation to be held even at speeds over 200 km/h. www.ferrari.com

www.METROANE.com

Page 10


Exotic Dancer Awards Show 2011 By: Ms. Misha Morê

Award to the Delilah’s Gentlemen’s Club (Philadelphia, PA).

The awards show was hosted by comedian Nick Di Paolo who did a great job and was extremely hilarious.

The ED’s Awards Show this year celebrated the “small” club! While it may seem that the “big” guys get all the attention, the “small” club—those under 5 or 6,000 square feet—make up the bulk of adult nightclubs across the country.

The band for this year’s awards show was, ‘’The Crashers Band.’’ These guys have opened for many top name bands and musical artists. Nikki Benz presented the Midwest Club of the Year Award to the On The Border (Milwaukee, WI), Midwest Small Club of the Year to Angels (Kalamazoo, MI), Central Region Club of the Year to Jaguars Club (El Paso, TX) and the Central Region Small Club of the Year to Babes Cabaret (New Orleans, LA). Next came a performance by Entertainer of the Year Nominee Tali De’Mar. The next set of awards went to Southeast Club of the Year Award to Tootsie’s (Miami, FL), Southeast Small Club of the Year to Deja Vu Showgirls (Nashville, TN), Northeast Club of the Year to Hustler’s Club (Baltimore, MD) and Northeast Small Club of the Year to Tiffany’s Cabaret (Buffalo, NY). Next, Entertainer of the Year Nominee Dakota Skye performed her humorous rhinestone cowboy show. Ronnie the Limo Driver presented the General Manager of the Year to Gary Nemeth, Little Darlings (Las Vegas, NV), Club Employee of the Year to DJ Platypus, Emcee/ DJ (Tootsie’s Cabaret, Miami, FL), Club of the Year in the West to Spearmint Rhino (Las Vegas, NV), Small Club of the Year in the West to Sam’s Hof Brau (Los Angeles, CA), and “Feature” Club of the Year to Al’s Diamond Cabaret (Reading, PA). Jade presented the Club Favorite Feature Entertainer to Kristy Morgan and Miss Exotic Dancer.com Award to Nina Mercedez. Next, Entertainer of the Year Nominee Suzie Malone performed one of her Burlesque/magic shows. The next presentation of awards were the Hall of Fame Awards that went to Ryan Beasley and Hugh Dearing. Next was a performance by Entertainer of the Year Nominee Gia Nova in one of her glamourous fire shows. This was followed with a performance by Entertainer of the Year Nominee Christina Aguchi. Special musical guests Vernon Reid and Jean Morisson presented the Newcomer Feature Entertainer of the Year Award to Jayden Cole and Adult Movie Feature Entertainer to Katsuni. Jade Simone St. Clair presented the Club Chain of the Year Award to Rick’s Cabaret chain and the Overall Club of the Year

METRO

ANE

MAGAZINE

Presenter Nikki Benz, Penthouse Pet Of The Year 2011

And last of all, but certainly not least, Jade crowned Christina Aguchi the Exotic Dancer Entertainer of the Year 2011!

2011 ED’s adult nightclub award winners: Overall Entertainer of the Year Christina Aguchi Newcomer Entertainer of the Year Jayden Cole Adult Movie Entertainer of the Year Katsuni Club Favorite Entertainer of the Year Kristy Morgan Miss Exotic Dancer.com Nina Mercedez Overall Gentlemen’s Club of the Year Delilah’s Gentlemen’s Club, Philadelphia Hall of Fame Awards Ryan Beasley and Hugh Dearing Jayden Cole

Club of the Year/Northeast Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club, Baltimore, MD

Ryan Beasley

Small Club of the Year/Northeast Tiffany’s Cabaret, Buffalo, NY Club of the Year/Southeast Tootsie’s Cabaret, N. Miami Small Club of the Year/Southeast Deja Vu Showgirls, Nashville, TN Club of the Year/Midwest On the Border, Franklin, WI Small Club of the Year/Midwest Angels, Kalamazoo, MI Club of the Year/Central Jaguars Gold Club, El Paso, TX

Daisy Duxe & Ronnie the Limo

Small Club of the Year/Central Babe’s Cabaret, New Orleans Club of the Year/West Spearmint Rhino, Las Vegas Small Club of the Year/West Sam’s Hof Brau, Los Angeles “Feature” Club of the Year Al’s Diamond Cabaret, Reading, PA Club Chain of the Year Rick’s Cabaret GM (General Manager) of the Year Gary Nemeth, General Manager Little Darlings, Las Vegas, NV Club Employee of the Year DJ Platypus, Emcee/DJ Tootsie’s Cabaret, N. Miami, FL Dakota Skye, Tali De’Mar, Christina Aguchi, Club Managers, Suzie Malone, Gia Nova

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 11


METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 12


METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 13


Jerome Williams & Taryn Wylde

Skyler Rae, Simone Danalustrous, Daisy Duxe and friends

More Photos from Exotic Dancer Awards Show 2011 Entertainer Of The Year 2011: Christina Aguchi

By: Ms. Misha Morê

Kristy Morgan

Rick’s Cabaret Ed Anakar & Eric Langan

Tiffany’s Cabaret, Buffalo, NY (Small Club of the Year/Northeast)

Babe’s Cabaret Management, NOLA (Small Club of the Year/Central) Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly Magazine

METRO ANE

www.METROANE.com Page 14


They’re wet and just wild about breaking the world record for the largest number of people ever to shower together.

Temperatures soared as 152 people - many girls in bikinis - washed their way into the record books on Bournemouth beach in the UK. They lathered up under a giant six-metre shower structure. The event organised by Lynx beat the previous record set in America

Come on in, the water’s somewhere... Chinese flock to the most packed swimming pool in the world There’s strictly no diving and not a hope of doing any lengths, but the crowded conditions have not put off over a million people from heading to this giant Chinese swimming pool.

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

two years ago when 145 people showered together in Illinois. Anna Orford, the official adjudicator for Guinness World Records, said: ‘The people of Bournemouth

have to be applauded for getting into the spirit of the day and taking a shower together.

to be the largest in China and covers 30,000 square meters.

Anyone seen my goggles? It can accommodate up to ten thousand visitors at once ‘Their reand over a ward is a new million people record for the most people showering simultaneously at the same venue. Congratulations to everyone involved.’ The saltwater pool, known as China’s ‘Dead Sea’ is located in Daying county, Sichuan province, and was a riot of color as the masses grabbed their rubber rings and descended upon it. The indoor water park is said

have visited the resort this summer, claim the operators. The man-made ‘sea’ was created using rich salt resources in the region and contains 43 different minerals

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

and microelements. Due to its salinity of over 22 per cent, swimmers float freely on the surface - much as they do in the Dead Sea in the Middle East. If you don’t fancy a dip, the resort also offers a Spa centre, a golf

course and even on-site Foreign AMERICAN CHEERLEADERS equipped with pompoms to entertain the crowds.

www.METROANE.com

Page 15


: : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : :

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 16


: : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : :

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 17


: : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : :

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 18


: : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : : Escorts : :

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 19


:: metro phonesex :: metro phonesex :: metro phonesex :: metro phonesex ::

meet real women tonight

most local singles

TRY FOR FREE

try for

free

214.269.1969 More Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 18+ www.livelinks.com Discreet Chat, Guy to Guy 18+

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Ahora en Español

214.269.1546

7 5 5 1 . 9 6 214.2

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

0.700.6tel6ine6.co6m 0 .8 1 : s r e b m u 18+ ww w.redhotda More Local N

www.METROANE.com

Page 20


get him on the line FREE TRIAL

214.269.1553 Find your local number: 1.800.777.8000 18+ www.interactivemale.com Ahora en Español

meet real women tonight

most local singles

try for

free

214.269.1545 More Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 18+ www.livelinks.com METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Ahora en Español Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 21


Gloryhole Productions is back with an even bigger and wetter production at the Hole. We’re back at one of your favorite venues, bringing THREE FLOORS of the hottest entertainment around, at our psychadelic funk-fest, the 70s Porno Party!!

you with private, sexy images of your 70s debauchery. No cost to you, just bring your sexy ass to the photo booth! We have the incredible Temple of Flesh and SA Crossing providing sensory stimulation and raising the sexy level a few extra notches. We have Texas Snakeman coming…. who knows what he’ll have up his sleeve…. We also have a third-floor retro-lounge DARK PARTY dungeon where you can play from 9pm-2am.

Here’s a glimpse of what we’ve got going on: We have The FOXXY LOVE SHOW, a kink extravaganza produced by e. hall, who produces and directs Grotesque Burlesque, featuring an all-star cast with lots of new faces and some of your favorite gloryhole girls!! The cast has been rehearsing for a month and there’s already been blood spilled, so you know the show is really fantastic! The show also features Maitresse Renee and the lovely Ladies of Club FEM. (show starts at 9:30 so DON’T BE LATE!!)

To come to the party, you have to be a member of the Hole. To join the

GAY & Bi CRUISE LINE

HOT singles

HOOK UP FAST!

214.615.0100 972.705.9500

214.615.0101 972.808.0606 FREE

FREE

to listen and reply to ads!

to listen and reply to ads!

USE FREE CODE 2088

USE FREE CODE 1701 For other local numbers call

MegaMates.com

1-888-MegaMates

We have a fabulous complimentary fondue bar put together by our very own Kinky Executive Chef Synn, and we’ll be providing LOTS of sodas, water, and ice for you to stay hydrated. Our parties are BYOB (please play responsibly!) and we promise to provide bottle openers.

24/7 Friendly Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2011 PC LLC

Hole, please email us: go to www. girlsgonegloryhole.com and request the password, or get the password from someone who’s already a member, then click here.

1-888-MegaMates

TM

TM

Once you join the Hole, your membership NOT ONLY gets you in the 70s Porno Party for FREE, it also gets you free membership to Temple of Flesh, 15% off at Leather Masters, 25% a shoot with Oblivion Images, and $5 off

1-888-634-2628 MegaMatesMen.com 24/7 Friendly Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2011 PC LLC

all I am Fifth Events, plus other member benefits.

See you at the Hole (don’t forget the lube)

We have awesome vendors for your shopping pleasure, along with F’N Classy Tattoos and Piercings, if you need any body mod while you’re funking the Hole! We have live acoustic music by Gloria Sweet. We have the groovy, dance inspiring DJ beats by Mr Scandal along with the sensual musical stylings of DJ Paloma. We have a voyeur room hosted by Maitresse Renee, Dallas Kink, and the lovely Ladies of ClubFEM DFW, including the Violet Wand, the Wheel of Pain, and other terrible tortures to tease and tantalize you. We have a no-cost charity raffle sponsored by Crystal Delights toys and WeAllCanCan.com. There are THREE BEAUTIFUL PRIZES – all you gotta do is bring non-perishable items for the food bank. Each item you bring gets you one more raffle ticket! We have Oblivion Images providing

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 22


: Transsexuals : Transexxuals : Transsexuals : Transexxuals

METRO ANE

MAGAZINE

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

www.METROANE.com

Page 23


“.....orders through the roof. WOW. THANKS METRO ANE! Dallas/Fort Worth METRO Area we love you.”


METRO AEN 08.31.2011