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The Velvet Curtain is Dallas’ Premier private On Premise CouplesOnly Private Lifestyle Club for quality, discrete open minded adults. Membership is limited to couples and females wishing to expand their horizons and explore their fantasies with other like-minded people in a safe, no-pressure, discrete and fun environment. You will find the members to be some of the friendliest in the metroplex. They guarantee an environment that is safe and friendly through the exclusive membership process. They have the Hottest and most fun filled parties in elegant surroundings. Go Dance, Play or Just Watch! Conveniently located near Downtown Dallas, The Velvet Curtain offers a lounge area for mingling, a spacious dance floor, a live DJ spinning the Hottest Dance music, Private and Group Playrooms and Big screen TV’s for special video presentations, all in a relaxed atmosphere. All events are BYOB with Premium Setups provided, along with a Scrumptious Buffet! The events are open to mixedsex couples, female-only couples, and single females. They are open every Wednesday from 11am until 10pm, Friday from 8pm until 3am and Saturday from 8pm until 6am.

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All Events Have Valet Parking Including a Secured Guarded and Locked Facility For Your Automobile Facility Includes Upscale Lockers and a Dressing Room for Wardrobe Changes and Valuables If you arrive before 9:00pm and you have never been to the New Velvet Curtain, your visit is FREE!. waiting for?

So what are you

Make your plans to go to the VELVET CURTAIN today! All attendees, arrive early, they limit attendees to 135 people. The Wednesday Party is from 11am until 10pm. The Friday Party is from 8pm until 3am. The Saturday party is from 8pm until 6am. They consider Birthdays and An-

niversaries and other like celebrations their specialty. If it is your day, and you let them know, they bring a complimentary cake, table reservation and shirts. What better way to show you care?

The Velvet Curtain is a Private Social Club Tell them METRO ANE sent you. www.velvetcurtain.net (434) BYTHEVC or (434) 298-4382 admin@velvetcurtain.net

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The ‘Ins’ and ‘Outs’ of Porno “An Interview with Carrie Ann” As told to W.R. Maxwell

Carrie Ann has been in over 100 DVDs plus over 100 web scenes in her 7 years in front of the camera with her clothes off. She is currently working as a dancer/entertainer at Jaguars Gold Club, 2151 Manana, Dallas 972869-4653. Sorry guys – no cameras allowed in the club. While she has not filmed a scene in 9 months, she expects to be back in front of the cameras, probably for Brazzer’s, naked and having sex in 2012. Until now, I had never had a face to face interview with a real porn-star and I must say I was a little uncomfortable talking about sex, the intimate expression between lovers, as if it were a blue-collar job. My conversations with Carrie Ann covered such a wide range of porn industry topics, it was hard to put them in a sensible order. Here are some of Miss Carrie Ann’s insights and observations about the sex-film business. “The web porn business spaces out the use of even their favorite performers – they

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don’t want the same girls over and over again, but, you can shoot for Bang Brothers or Naughty America or many other sites. Brazzers will shoot me twice a year –maybe 3, but that’s it. They want fresh faces on their sites.” [Faces? I never look at the faces.] “I have worked for several different DVD companies – Digital Playgound, Vivid, Avenue and many more. I don’t have a particular favorite one, however getting paid on time is important.” “I won’t work for Playboy again. I did 4 episodes on ‘Spice Hotel’ for Playboy TV and it took over 3 months to get paid.” According to Carrie Ann, for experienced girls doing a basic 4 position gonzo scene, the pay is $800 to $1000 for a boy/girl scene, but add $200 if there is anal sex involved. Scenes with 2 girls pay less, only $500 to $700 and scenes with a blowjob only are $200 to $400. Solo girl scenes pay the least of all, only $200 to $300. The payscale will vary between companies, but you get paid the same day as your scene. ~continued on page 15..........

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Never Smile At Strangers METRO ANE’s book pick of the week Released: November 2011 Genre: Suspense/Thriller About WHEN TEENAGE GIRLS VANISH in what was once considered a safe, Louisiana bayou town, the lives of four desperate young locals take unexpected turns, begging the crucial question: Do you every truly know those closest to you? Description When nineteen-year-old Tiffany Perron vanishes from rural Grand Trespass, Louisiana, best friend HALEY LANDRY’s relationship with her boyfriend becomes increasingly strained. To make matters worse, her impressionable younger sister BECKY

A DISTURBED MAN also lives in the area. Ever since his mother’s murder four years earlier, he’s been raising his insolent teenage sister, ALLIE, who sleeps with truck drivers for money. He considers women to be dangerous—and his world revolves around his fear and hatred for them. He’s terrified of his sister, knowing she’s intent on pushing him over the edge. ACCOLADES FOR “NEVER SMILE AT STRANGERS” “Jennifer Minar-Jaynes’ debut novel Never Smile at Strangers is a gritty, atmospheric Southern thriller that keeps the heat and the tension cranked high right to the end. Small town secrets, fully-realized characters, and a truly twisted killer keep you turning the pages. Minar-Jaynes has an unerring instinct for the perfect detail that draws you in and won’t turn you loose.” — J.D. Rhoades, Shamus nominee & author of The Devil’s Right Hand, Good Day in Hell, and Safe and Sound “Never Smile at Strangers is an irresistible debut packed with surprises. Her set-up is riveting, the plot loaded with twists and turns that leads into an effective and logical conclusion. Add this to prose that is fresh, interesting, and innovative, and you have one of the best debut novels that’s sure to please readers for years to come.” — Michael Laimo, author of Dead Souls and Deep In The Darkness “Solid, effective throughout. Dark emotions ranging from grief and loneliness to insanity are vividly brought to life with entirely believable insight… immediately sucks us in, sustains the suspense and keepers the reader involved. . .” — Reader from Atchity Entertainment International

has begun idolizing an impetuous, seductive 15 year old who’s encouraging her to do dangerous things. Meanwhile, ERICA DUVALL, a reclusive 19-year-old aspiring writer, befriends Haley. Ten years earlier, Erica’s mother abandoned her, leaving her with the womanizing used car salesman father she loathes. She’s decided to write a novel based on Tiffany’s disappearance; a novel that she hopes will lead to a reunion with her estranged novelist mother. RACHEL ANDERSON, a 36-year-old mother of two, is having trouble coming to terms with her husband, TOM’s, affair with the missing girl—a relationship that supposedly ended shortly before Tiffany’s disappearance. What’s more, she comes to the blood curdling realization that someone is watching her through the large back windows of her house.

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“Combines the best elements of mystery and suspense—intriguing characters, compulsive plotting, first-rate storytelling. A terrifically impressive debut.” —David Angsten, author of Dark Gold and Night of the Furies “Jennifer Minar-Jaynes is a welcome addition to the family of thriller writers.” —Robert S. Levinson, bestselling author of Where the Lies Begin, Ask A Dead Man, Hot Paint AVAILABLE IN TRADE PAPERBACK & AS A KINDLE EBOOK HERE: http:// tinyurl.com/7kf5odc READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER HERE: http://www.writersbreak.com/PROLOGUE. pdf

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Adventures in the Erotic Underground™ With The Not So Desperate Housewife Hey kids, this is Mardi, “The Not So Desperate Housewife”. I am just back from another one of our afternoon adventures and wondering why more women don’t go with their husbands and boyfriends to the strip clubs. Every now and then my husband and I clear off our calendars and go see what kind of trouble we can get into in the afternoons. It’s a great way to break up the long, dull and seemingly endless grind of the typical Monday through Friday cycle of work, school, kids, housework, shopping and more work. Because almost everyone else is caught up in the same grind, you tend to find more offbeat and interesting people and places when you’re out during the weekday; but you have look for them. Many places don’t open until late, if at all, during the week and a lot of places that are hopping on the weekends can be seriously dull during the week. One of the things we like to do on our afternoon safaris into the erotic underground is check out some of the strip clubs around town. They can be pretty busy at times when you wouldn’t expect it and I can only assume that’s because a lot of guys sneak out to the strip clubs when their wives won’t notice. Anyway, the atmosphere is completely different during the day and it usually makes for an interesting time. We’ve found that the strip clubs are some of the only places that seem to actively seek a daytime crowd and some of the clubs have different themes for different days that help to draw crowds during the weekdays.

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ly along with an upbeat atmosphere and a convenient location that will have you back in the office before the boss can say “what took you so long?” Because of this, Baby Dolls often draws a pretty good daytime crowd. Of course, The Lodge is always a rockin’ place for some afternoon entertainment with good food, incredible lunch specials and gorgeous girls, making this one of the busier clubs during the day. At first I was, like most of you, a little hesitant to go to these types of clubs. I was afraid I would feel like a fish swimming in a pool of sharks. But that’s never been the case. The clubs these days are more savvy and sophisticated with respect to women. They know that we enjoy these clubs for many of the same reasons as the men do. As a matter of fact, The Lodge likes the idea of having women patrons so much that they do “Date Nights” on Saturday. Date Nights at the Lodge are great, they have fantastic food at special prices for couples, fabulous entertainment and we don’t have to sit on the sidelines anymore and let the guys have all the fun. Besides, I think the clubs like it when women come in because, let’s face it, what guy doesn’t like to see a woman go up to tip the girls. If my experience is any indication, seeing a woman getting some special attention from the dancers tends to trigger some interesting fantasies for a lot of men which in turn brings more men into the club and seems to get the guys in the mood to tip better. The clubs can also be great for the ego, the guys are generally very respectful and the girls make you feel like you’re the hottest chick in the club. In fact, many of the dancers I’ve encountered seem to be just as interested in my assets as I am in theirs. Just be careful not to have too much fun or the management will be asking you to sign an employment agreement.

One of my favorites is Super Tuesdays at Jaguars. The first Tuesday of the month, they have a free lunch buffet, But don’t take my word for it, ladies, $5.00 lap dances, and a selection of grab your guy and check these places hotties on their double stage. Even at out; why let him have all the fun? Pick the reduced rate most of the girls will up the latest copy of Metro and keep an give you a dance that will make you eye on metroane.com for all the latest want to keep the Lincolns flowing. I happenings. These days the strip clubs can say from experience that some of aren’t just the boys clubs any more, these girls have talents that I didn’t many couples enjoy them as well. know were possible. Combine this with Jaguar’s reasonable cover and all- Questions, comments or suggestions? Know of great places or events of internude, BYOB format and you have the est to women or that need a woman’s recipe for getting over those mid-week blahs. Another fun place is Baby Dolls. perspective? Contact me at : They have a good line-up of fun cuties who are, “bi” the way, very girl-friend- eroticunderground@gmail.com Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 6


isn’t any bigger than the first one. You better sell me both of them.’ ********** The top 10 reasons why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex ; #5, Thanksgiving Dinner is a sure thing #4, Turkeys are not modest #3, You Giggle, Grin, Groan can fall asleep after and no one submitted by: W. R. Maxwell complains #2, You can always have (Send your most tasteless, dirtiest and sick- whipped cream on dessert #1, The est jokes to wr_maxwell@hotmail.com . If foreplay is football. (The other 5 printed, it will prove I am not the only one reasons weren’t funny.) with a twisted sense of humor.) ********** Do you think that if the pilgrims had OK, readers. You asked for some shot a bobcat and served it instead seasonal jokes to go with the of turkey, would we all be eating Thanksgiving Holiday. Here is the best I could come up with. Bon Ap- pussy on Thanksgiving? *********** petite. This year, I decided to have an authentic Thanksgiving - one where Why did the turkey cross the road? I get out my shotgun and shoot the (Because it was the chicken’s day turkey myself. Boy, you should off.) have seen the people scatter when I ********** walked into the grocery store. On the first Thanksgiving, did the *********** pilgrims watch New England play In 1992, the state of Arkansas the Cowboys or the Lions? announced that Halloween and ********** Thanksgiving would no longer be An exhaustive government study has shown that Thanksgiving Day is state holidays, since the witch went to Washington and took the turkey the worst day to start a new diet. with her. ************ ********** On average, Americans eat 17 Is it a coincidence that the Thankspounds of turkey a year, however, giving meal and halftime of the the Israelis they eat 23 pounds of Thanksgiving football both last turkey each year, which is really exactly 12 minutes? confusing, since they do not cel********** ebrate Thanksgiving in Israel. In the U.S., Thanksgiving falls on *********** the 3rd Thursday of November Are the balloons in the Macy’s because that is when food is most Thanksgiving parade stuffed with plentiful. But in Borneo, the canbreadcrumbs and celery, just like nibals have their Thanksgiving on the thanksgiving turkey? the 3rd *********** Saturday of November, because that My mom was such a bad cook, that as a child, I always thought the is when the American missionaries thanksgiving meal was to commem- are the plumpest. ********** orate Pearl Harbor. The Butterball Turkey Company has ********** a 1-800 hotline where people, who It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is shop is just about might be a little confused, can call and ask questions. Here are some of to close when a man rushes in saytheir more unusual calls. 1) When ing ‘I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don’t come putting a cup of broth in the body cavity, how do you keep the plastic home with a big one.’ The butcher from melting? 2) Will a 15 pound says, ‘Let me see what I have left,’ turkey feed 15 people if they are then he goes into the back freezer drunk? 3) Can I baste my turkey and discovers that there is only one with Wild Turkey to give it a gamey small turkey left. He brings it out flavor? 4) When making giblet and shows it to the man. ‘That one gravy, do I remove the giblets from is too skinny. What else do you the body cavity first, or do you just have?’ says the man. The butcher pour in the drippings and flour mixtakes the bird back into the freezer, ture and shake? 5) My oven caught waits a few minutes and brings the fire halfway thru cooking the turkey. same turkey back out to the man. Is it okay to finish cooking the bird ‘Oh no,’ says the man, ‘That one

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

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on the engine block of my pickup truck and which works better; Ford or Chevy? 6) Is it okay to use last year’s leftover fruitcake to stuff the turkey? ********** This year, after being pardoned by the president, the white house turkey went down to the occupy wall street protest rally. He figured this would be a safe place to hang-out since he and the protesters had a lot in common - they are turkeys. ********** In china, the grade school textbooks on western culture describe the

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Thanksgiving Holiday as the day Americans make gluttony a patriotic duty. *********** Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? (The outside.) *********** How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?  Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze him in there. ********** Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Gladis. Gladis who? Gladis this is the last Thankgiving joke.

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THE HARD SCORE I’ve had many requests to comment on the Penn State situation. Since rehashing all that’s occurred to date would only be redundant and not serve any real purpose, then it only makes sense to just give another perspective.

of the people. Tell me that ain’t the fairest game in town.

Prince Machiavelli was, amongst many things, a very wise observer of the human experience. One of his extremely insightful instructions was, “how one conducts themselves in the face of chance”. Think of that, how you conduct yourself when you either instigate chance or it comes upon you.

Take the Cowboys Redskins game. Please, ugly would be an improvement. Even Fox knew that this had “little chance” of grabbing fan interest and pulled their number one broadcast team out and threw in the substitutes.

In my book, any moment of chance is what makes and defines a man or a woman. Has that not been true in your lives? We all have those times we wish we could do over, but how many of you would have behaved like those coaches, school officials, and any others involved with Penn State over this? Would you have left a child to be molested? Would you have only reported to a superior and not anyone else? Would you not have followed up? Would you have continued to allow a predator to roam your campus? This is how these people conducted themselves in the face of chance. This, for all the world to see, is who these people are. Not were. Are. But chance is an equal opportunity creature. It doesn’t take sides, it doesn’t care about your age, gender, education, career, or bank account. It indiscriminately visits itself upon folk. And as the most unbiased element in the human existence, it leaves any and all outcomes up to the response

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In the sports world, chance is constantly dancing with you, and if you’re not comfortable with a set of dice, then you better find a different career path.

The Cowboys claim they beat the Redskins because, “they kept competing”. Many readers find that having pride that you played the whole game and didn’t quit as a very questionable character trait. They also felt that Ryan’s defense has officially been named the Swiss Misses, and if it hadn’t been for Washington’s Genoa missing that OT field goal this team would’ve been sunk further than the Titanic. Or that Redskins Coach Shanahan calls a timeout when Romo does and gets charged for it, but Romo didn’t know the Cowboys didn’t have a timeout and neither did Shanahan. How’s that for chance throwing one in? In every kind of sporting event chance takes place on every play. The outcomes are affected by more variables than almost any other endeavor out there. There’s the players physical shape, training, knowledge of the game and system, all the other players involved, and everything that takes place from when the ball is put in play. Dallas won, but unlike the Packers they don’t have a lock on the division,

instead they still have a chance to take the division or wild card. But with the Giants, Lions, Bears, and Falcons out there, and if the defense continues to lapse, then the odds of being successful on this chance are slipping. NBA I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been asked to put the NBA situation into “a nutshell”. Well, my pat answer on that is, it’s impossible to do that, there’s too many nutshells involved. And frankly, that, to me anyway, is a major part of the problem. Both sides seem to agree that agreeing on a revenue split isn’t what’s holding things back, it’s the issues regarding the system, or the way teams and players can do business, is what’s at issue. There’s a salary cap, a soft cap, midlevel exceptions, luxury taxes, the number of deals that can be made, free agency, ad nauseum. Only a small number of people understand what all these rules are, and that’s another part of the problem.

There’s three parties in this dance, the owners, players, and agents. The real battle here is between the owners and agents and what they’ve all done to complicate the game of professional basketball. You got owners, meaning their lawyers, and agents, who most of them are lawyers, all arguing and jostling to get whatever kind of edge they can. And that’s the problem. Here’s the solution: work to simplify the business side of the game. That, and get rid of all the lawyers. From both sides. Then, if anybody says something nobody else understands, get rid of him, too. When a contract is up then it’s up and a player can renegotiate or go where he wishes, no trades. Worst

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team starts the draft, goes down from there, and nobody can trade draft picks. There’s a cap, period, no soft or other exceptions. Players play, owners own, and when contracts are up, you stay or move on. It’s that simple. And they’ll never agree to it. NHL And now we get to see how the NHL is going to respond in the face of chance. Like, the NBA is giving them the chance of a lifetime to really promote their product with only the NFL as competition for fan attention. And so far NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman’s response to no NBA competition is to do, well, nothing. He apparently believes that what’s out there now in front of the fans, both teams and advertising, is all that’s necessary. Apparently Bettman feels that lower level TV contracts, lower advertising revenues, and lower fan attendance is a satisfying normal. Myself, I’d call this a great window of opportunity and flood the markets with hockey news. I’d get ESPN to quit showing only fights and get all the great plays on the screen, like Stars Jamie Benn’s going through five players to score a goal. Note to Bettman, it’s called carpe diem or seize the day. Well, here in Texas we call it carpe momento, but the drifts the same. Now we’ll see if new owner, Tom Gaglardi, and returning President Jim Lites, will respond. I think they will. Good times ahead. NFL Week 11 Review

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: TheHardScore : TheHardScore : TheHardScore : Best game? Bengals at Ravens. If Cincy owner Mike Brown will stay out of things and let real football guys draft and set up the systems, then next year oughta be a scream. Best fun game? Gotta be Eagles knocking off the Giants. Even non Dallas fans had to be laughing over that monumental upset. Worst result? Chicago losing QB Cutler for several weeks with a broken thumb in passing hand. They’ve got a reasonable schedule, and with a top tier defense and running game, they should still battle for a wild card. Far worse result? Chargers losing to the Bears. San Diego has to figure if this is a fluke season or time to rebuild.

Lions defense has hair in places there’s no name for, the offense puts up points like the mad hatter. The Packers defense is hinky, but their offense can just about score at will. Nobody in Detroit sleeps the night before.

Biggest sigh of relief? Was it Dallas, Atlanta, Detroit, or Baltimore? Biggest bonehead mistake? Have to go with Jets. With game almost over, they set up a blitz package against Denver, and allow a left handed QB to run to his left with no containment and he scores. I mean, you didn’t study film? You didn’t know his strengths and tendency’s?

49ers (9-1, road 4-0) at Ravens (73, home 5-0). Two teams with the philosophy of, “if it ain’t bein’ hit and ground into the dirt, it ain’t alive”, and that’s the offenses. The defenses believe “if it bleeds, we can kill it”. It’s a good thing you have a four day weekend ‘cause you’ll need all of ‘em to recover from this day.

Best comeback? I have to go with Carson Palmer and the Raiders. Not the win over the Vikings, but that Carson’s showing what he can do when he’s got a stable environment and not a freak show surrounding him. Of course, he leaves and Cincy gets rid of the clowns. Now that’s timing. Best rookie? I have to give this to Andy Dalton, QB with the Bengals, he’s showing a lot of poise, but Cowboys RB Murray is the heads up contender. Week 12 Thanksgiving Treat Two busters and one we want no suspense out of. This will be best T-Day in decades, take the drumstick to beat holes in the wall and smack friends.

3:00 CST Dolphins (3-7, road 1-4) at Cowboys (6-4, home 4-1). Miami’s getting hungry, they’ve won three in a row, and would love to upset Dallas. The Cowboys need to realize after that close call in Washington they can’t let up and have to put this game away. 7:00 CST

Sunday Noon CST You’re asking yourselves, ok, what with the great battles on Thanksgiving, how will the NFL follow up? Well, the short answer is, not very well. Seven to start, with three that aren’t worth heating the TV up for, and four that are worth a beer and chips, maybe toss in a few wings. The boring: Vikings (2-8, road 1-4) at Falcons (6-4, home 3-2); Cardinals (3-7, road 1-5) at Rams (2-8, home 1-4); and, Panthers (2-8, road 0-4) at Colts (0-10, home 0-5).

11:30 CST

Make yourself relaxed: Buc’s (4-6, road 1-3) at Titans (5-5, home 3-2); Browns (4-6, road 1-3) at Bengals (6-4, home 2-2); Texans (7-3, road 3-2) at Jag’s (37, home 2-2); and, Bills (5-5, road 1-4) at Jets (5-5, home 4-1).

Packers (10-0, road 5-0) at Lions (73, home 3-2). It’s a division game, Detroit’s tied with Chicago for the top NFC wild card, and Green Bay’s spoken openly about going undefeated. The

Yeah, some teams on the downside of things alright, but because the season got so strange for so many teams, there’s some upside here. Tampa’s out of the hunt but Tennessee, for who

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even knows how, is now playing for the second wild card. The Titans have had problems but have never quit, this should have some good stuff to it. The Browns, out of the wild card hunt, are fighting for the in-state trophy only but the Bengals are fighting to keep the second AFC wild card locked up. The Texans lead the AFC South and are tied for first overall in the AFC and now get their first live game with replacement QB Leinart. If the Jag’s coach, Del Rio, ever had a trap game laid in front of him this is it. Buffalo started hot and went cold, New York’s just been banging around and hasn’t figure out if its season is gone or not. Division game and both are in the wild card hunt. 3:00 CST Out of four, one’s a loser, two are interesting for different reasons, and one should make a game of it. Nothing doing: Redskins (3-7, road 1-4) at Seahawks (4-6, home 2-2). Two recycled coaches that may be the first casualties. Should be interesting: Broncos (5-5, road 3-2) at Chargers (4-6, home 3-2); and, Patriots (7-3, road 3-2) at Eagles (4-6, home 1-4). It’s difficult to say this, but both Denver and San Diego still have a shot at a wild card. Does a rookie QB who runs the option take out the Chargers like he took out the Jets? Tune in.

home 4-0). New York’s in a battle for the NFC East and a wild card, while the Saints have the Falcons right on their heels. Neither team can afford a loss. Manning and Brees should each put on a show. Readers Response: Two Dogs: How do you feel about being wrong about my Broncos? You were uup and blew the call. Stiniking texas losers. Mark Denver Mark: Why, I wake up every day looking to be wrong, it fulfills my lifestyle. Denver’s defense is better than projected by a year, but I’m still not sold on the option. TD Two Dogs: You BS cowpie lovers are just lucky that you got the softest schedule in the NFL. If you can’t win out your worse than anybody. Blaine DC

Nobody believes Philly’s playing for anything, but you gotta ask, can Vince Young throw another three INT’s and still be in the game?

Blaine: No wonder our schools are in trouble, they’ve got idiots like you in the Capital. Here’s the reality, dog breath: this year each team in the NFC East play’s each team in the AFC East and NFC West. In case you didn’t grasp that, it means we play the same teams so we don’t have any harder or easier schedule than you. Next time you’re cleaning your mouth, stick the toothbrush further up and swab the area between the ears.

7:30 CST

TD

You’ve had a rough few days, take the night off because Kansas City will: Steelers (7-3, road 3-2) at Chiefs (4-6, home 2-3).

Two Dogs: How would you stop Tebow?

Monday Night Football 7:30 CST This should be a top notch battle: Giants (6-4, road 3-2) at Saints (7-3,

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Eric San Diego Eric: His strength is to his left and he’s weak in the pocket, so flush him out and to his right. TD

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orilla gadgets odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff!

Ho. Ho. Meat. Ho. Ho. Ho. The winter holidays are almost here. While Halloween brings visions of candy, the winter holidays are not without their candies. Let’s see: there’s fruit cake and gelt and bacon and candy canes and those things with the sauce and feathers. Ok, so that last one is turkey, and doesn’t really count. So, we threw on our Dr. Frankenstein goggles and flipped some switches. And once the fire was put out, we realized we created the ultimate holiday candy. Yup, you guessed

Ford Mustang Shelby GT500

The highest-performance factorybuilt Mustang to date, the 2013 Ford Shelby GT500 takes on its muscle car rivals with 650 horsepower and a 200+ mph top speed.

The heart of this Blue Oval beast is a supercharged 5.8-liter V8 engine. With 650 horsepower and 600 lb.-ft. of torque, Ford claims it is the most powerful production V8 in the world. And yet through this

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it: Bacon

will pick your pocket. No, the twist is they taste like bacon. But really, with a name like Bacon Candy Canes, you kinda guessed that, right? Each holiday crammed box has 6 candy canes enough to share! Because that’s what the holidays are really about: giving presents in the hope of getting presents in return! Oh, Bacon Candy Canes - is there anything you can’t do? Bacon Candy Canes

Candy Canes. Bacon Candy Canes looks just like standard candy canes, but with a twist. The twist isn’t the standard swirl around them or an orphan that

continued powertrain enhancement, the GT500 manages to avoid a gasguzzler tax. To put the power to the tarmac, the GT500 uses a launch control system that allows the driver to set the desired launch rpm based on tire temperature, street surface, and other

factors. This system ties in with the engine and traction controls to help this Mustang take off swiftly, while limiting tire spin. The aerodynamics have been mas-

That classic white and red swirl coupled with the delicious taste of bacon. Yup, they taste like bacon. You get 6 candy canes in each lovingly illustrated box. Each candy cane is individually wrapped for easier sharing. http://www.thinkgeek.com saged for 2013 to aid the cooling system, increase downforce, and reduce drag. Stopping power has been increased with a new Brembo brake system, with larger discs and moreaggressive brake pads. The chassis has been tuned to address the other changes, though the

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Not much more needs to be said about this Sparkling Bacon Ornament. It looks

like bacon, but the meaty bits sparkle like a lame vampire and the fatty bits glisten like an endoskeleton home for the holidays. Each Sparkling Bacon Ornament even includes a bit of string, so you can hang it on your holiday shrub of choice. Because nothing says holiday cheer like hanging meat on trees. Sparkling Bacon Ornament - ho ho ho to you! Sparkling Bacon Ornament Hang some meat from the tree tonight! Not real meat, but a lovely, sparkly, bacony ornament! Made of space age plastic with real sparkles! Every bullet gets an exclamation point! Includes a string for hanging! Dimensions: 4.25” tall!

http://www.thinkgeek.com ultimate set up comes by way of an optional Performance Package. This extra brings electronic adjustable dampers that can be put in Sport mode when extra performance is desired. A Track Package can further prepare the car for highspeed, track use, with an engine, rear differential, and transmission coolers. http://www.ford.com/

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Shay Lynn & Jaded Dawn Host KaraokeXXX By: Ms. Misha Morê

The Evil Pin-Ups - Shay Lynn & Jaded Dawn hosted KaraokeXXX at The Red Label Bar & Lounge on Sahara, Las Vegas. KARAOKEXXX, is where All Adult Film Stars are welcome. It is a place for the people in the adult industry from talent to adult related companies, just having fun and networking. Adult industry types have a place to go every MONDAY to meet more individuals in our line of work. Yes, there will always be some outrageous moments and FANS are WELCOME. Everyone is welcome to this unique version of KARAOKE. There were giveaways and prizes throughout the night. And Adult Games/Contest. Every Monday Nights is the place to be in Sin City at the Red Label Bar & Lounge. Also, if you are an adult film star and would like to announce you will be attending, just send an email KaraokeXXX@gmail.com

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METRO ANE’s Offical Game of The Year Pick

Serious Sam 3: BFE Serious Sam 3: BFE is a glorious throwback to the golden age of firstperson shooters where men were men, cover was for amateurs and pulling the trigger made things go boom. Serving as a prequel to the original indie sensation, Serious Sam: The First Encounter, Serious Sam 3 takes place during the Earth’s final struggle against Mental’s invading legions of beasts and mercenaries. Set against the collapsing temples of an ancient civilization and the crumbling cities of 22nd century Egypt, Serious Sam 3 is an exhilarating fusion of classic twitch shooters and modern gameplay features.

battalion of unforgettable minions including the rumbling Scrapjack and towering Khnum join the legendary Headless Kamikaze, Gnaar and Sirian Werebull to create the fiercest opposition you’ve ever had the pleasure of mowing down. Spectacular Environments – Battle across the expansive battlefields of near-future Egypt bursting at the seams with total chaos. The shattered cities

Sam multiplayer and all hell is about to break loose.

Features Frantic Arcade-Style Action – Hold down the trigger and lay waste to a never-ending onslaught of attackers or face being overrun by Mental’s savage

of tomorrow lined with the crumbling temples of an ancient world become your destructible playground.

“Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash off this game,” said Fork Parker, chief financial officer at Devolver Digital, the Serious Sam 3: BFE publisher. “I mean that’s what this is all about, right? When this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been

Pure Multiplayer Mayhem – Play through the full campaign mode with up to 16 players or drop the gauntlet

asking for.”

Serious Sam 3 became available this week on PC and Console

beasts. No cover systems, no camping – it’s just you and them. All of them. Mental’s Fearsome Legions – A new

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series, which is recognized across the globe for its action-packed and entertaining game design and its powerful Serious Engine technology. Founded in Zagreb, Croatia in 1993, Croteam has grown to become one of the most successful and respected developers in Eastern Europe. More information about Croteam can be found online at www.croteam.com and twitter.com/ croteam.

When asked for further comment, Fork replied, “Bam. Tit job.” and let the heavy ordinance fly in versus modes like Deathmatch and Beast Hunt. This is the next level of Serious

About Croteam Croteam are the creative force behind the massively successful Serious Sam

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About Devolver Digital Devolver Digital is a small, laserfocused production and publishing company based in Austin, Texas, (also with one very lonely desperado in London) from an unnamed group of industry veterans/outlaw refugees. Our Twitter handle is @DevolverDigital so hook it up.

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~continued from page 4..... “The porn film industry is a money trap - its all cash – no one keeps track of how much the performers make. Even a production company doesn’t know because the talent works for so many different companies.” [I bet the IRS knows.] “I tried to shoot a scene with my boyfriend, but he didn’t want to have anything to do with it – not even go with me to a shoot. Most entertainers date people in the industry. It’s too hard to date people off the street – they don’t understand. When it comes down to it, most guys think they can handle it [their girlfriend being a porn star] but they really can’t.” [Yes, Carrie Ann, we guys get jealous, too.] “You have to have fun doing porn. It makes it go along a lot faster and easier. But I never cum when I’m doing a scene.” “If the guy comes too soon it’s a problem –then they have to get a ‘stunt cock’ – a replacement guy to finish the scene and the girl in the scene gets more money because she is ‘doing’ 2 guys. If the guy cums too soon and doesn’t have the require stamina, he won’t be working again, unless he can cum more than once. (CA laughs) It’s time consuming and fucks up the scene.” “I’ve been on sets where I was working with a new guy and it took longer than it should have. They either can’t last and I’ll have to ‘do’ two guys or I’ll sit there forever waiting for him to get a hard-on.” [Do they need faster acting, industrial strength Viagra?] “I’ve had [shoots] that went for 8 hours when I could have been done in 4, all because of the guy and I’m not getting paid any more money. I’ve told my

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agent, ‘don’t put me with anybody new because I’m not going to deal with it.’ I’ll only work with established people.” [There goes my chance of doing a scene with Carrie Ann.] “I don’t have any favorite [male porn stars]. I’ve been with so many guys, I can’t tell you their names. Everything in the industry is very detached. Sometime you get along with them [male porn stars] and some times you don’t. Porn sex is all detached - it’s a f_ _king job.” [I think the pun was intentional] I did a scene for Digital Playground’s DVD Mrs. Demeanor (2009) with Scott Nails who didn’t say hardly anything. We when in, did the scene and it was the best scene I had ever done. The director just let us go – he told [Scott] what he wanted and we shot the whole thing without any cuts – didn’t stop once. But [Scott] didn’t even talk. He did the job and that was it. [In the scene, Carrie Ann gives Scott a lesson on how to eat a woman’s pussy. Of course Scott wasn’t talking – his mouth was too busy doing things.] “The most unusual setting I did was in downtown LA in a car, on the car, on the railroad tracks next to the car and in the park next to the tracks.” “We had a lookout guy with the photographer. You are supposed to get permits to shoot in public places, but they never do.” “The actual [sex] scenes were in a motel 6. [Now I know why they leave the light on – it’s for the cameras.] The video was Street Walkers #4 (Python 2006), I played the part of prostitute and the DVD was nominated for best outdoor

“Sometimes there are scripts, but most of it is improvised. For feature work there will probably be a script, but usually not for gonzo films. For the fem-dom DVD Miss Carrie Ann’s Boarding House (Erotic tales, 2007), which is a full length feature, I was the main character and I had 18 to 20 pages of script with lines to memorize and only had 2 days to shoot it. They sent [the script] to me ahead of time so I could practice my lines.” “Most of the time, if you don’t

scene by AVN.” [I have it on my wishlist.] “A simple shoot takes 3 ½ to 4 hours. Usually there are 4 positions 7 ½ minutes apiece, including the setup for the scenario and the goo-shot – the cumshot. The final DVD will have me in

say your words exactly, it’s okay – it just depends on the director.” “There are no rehearsals – the girls are expected to know how to f_ _k when they walk on the set. There are no screen tests and no casting calls [auditions]. After the shoot, you get paid and that’s it. The only time I see what was shot is after the whole DVD is done.” see more of Carrie on her Facebook.

about 30 minutes of sex. [During the shoot] there is a lot of stop and go.” “Your wardrobe is your own clothes. They tell you what they want you to wear and you either already have it or you go out and buy it. They will layout [the clothes] in your bag and pick what they want you to wear.” [At least until you take it off.] If they want something really unusual the [production company] will provide it – like with latex clothing for rubber fantasies.”

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Hi there, My name is Hoodman Love Blind. I current run the NPO “I am 5th” as well as the ministry “Church of the Infected.”

purchase more affordable Hoodies for the Homeless within downtown Dallas.

Homeless. Socks, beanies, sweatpants & tops, jackets, gloves, shoes etc...

We are also accepting any and all donations of Warmness for the

This event will take place on December 8th, 2011

We can come by your place of business the week of and collect your creation as well as any other donations you might have gathered. You can also ship them to us if you are out of the area to our P.O Box. Please feel free to call or email me if you have any questions.

I am currently seeking donations from businesses to give us a “Hoodie”.

Hoodman Love Blind 214-415-8452 2828 Parker #225a Plano, Texas 75075

It is not much, but what we are asking for is for each company to create a custom Hoodie that screams their name to the general public. We will of course take pictures and hand out any advertisement and information you would like to share with the community.

All Mail to go to P.O. Box 867477 Plano, Texas 75023 hoodmanloveblind@ gmail.com Church of the Infected info@iaminfected.org churchoftheinfected@ gmail.com www.iaminfected.org

We will then have “models” aka everyday people wear them and we will auction them out to the particiapants.

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