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Guts, a book review By WR Maxwell if you missed it the first time...........

If the idea of a book review in Metro ANE Magazine doesn’t strike you as ‘a wee bit odd’ then you need to dial back the alcohol content in your cocktail. ANE has turn literary – literally, but only for one issue. We will continue to be your favorite weekly tabloid for escort ads, tasteless jokes, tastefully nude pictures, more escort ads and strip club reviews, so you don’t have to jump ship and find another paper. The novel entitled Guts (Ghetto Dog Publishing - 2011) offers a seldom seen, real life snapshot of a young woman’s adventures (and misadventures) in the sleazy world of Dallas’ adult entertainment industry. I am told, the names have been changed to protect the guilty but the details are authentic. The stalkers and aficionados of Dallas’ topless bars should have little difficulty identifying the club in the book. If, on the other hand, you can not figure it out, then you need to do some more late night research. I met with the ghostwriter of Guts last week and we traded stories about some of the working girls we had known, the ‘adult industry’ in general and 20 years of changes in the Dallas strip club scene. Also, I met the main character, Cynthia/ Cynbad. She looks ever bit as pretty as the author describes, but to my eye, she seems more ‘wholesome’ like a quart of homemade vanilla ice cream - than a ‘sex goddess’. This only proves the old saying; beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess the same can be said of ‘goddessness’, too. I asked Cynthia, ‘How do you feel about being the main character in such a book?’ She replied, ‘I have mixed feelings about it. I am excited and flattered but still want to keep my privacy.’ Privacy is a recurring theme in the book. In an industry where aliases, stage names, personas and screen names are as common as tattoos and belly button piercings, a girl’s privacy is always the last veil removed. ‘Guts’ tells the story of innocent Cynthia’s transformation into her alter ego, Cynbad, an irrepressible ‘courtesan’ and ‘toxic beauty’ who

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makes a lot of money working the VIP section at a topless bar. Initially, a large part of her earnings go to support her younger sisters back in Oklahoma, but soon the lavish tips and ‘donations’ from the older businessmen are re-invested into a start-up escort service and a network of massage parlors. Does the book Guts present a foolproof business plan for success in Dallas’ adult industry? I don’t know, but if any of ya’ll try it and then pull in a six figure income, give Cynbad a little credit. The story is written from the main character’s point of view, and contains a love scene, encounters with strange clients, fights, arrests, child birth, adoption, poems, and actual text messages from some of Cynbad’s clients. Some of you might want to check your cell phone records and remove any incriminating messages. Throughout the book, Cynthia is haunted by the words of her late mother, Leah, who was also ‘in the business’ but she was a small fish in a small Oklahoma stock pond. But this is the big D and to make a splash, Cynbad has to be a big fish – like a sexy, aggressive tiger shark. If, like me, you are hung up on the title, Guts, then read past the cover. I assure you, there are no animal entrails. I also assure you Cynbad does not have a turban and billowy pants – in fact she is often without pants of any kind. While the book includes intimate lap dances, strip club performances and bedroom sex, the author does not divulge specifics and relies upon the reader’s imagination to fill in the graphic details. My filthy imagination had no problem, on this score. Overall, I found the story enjoyable and captivating. The book is available in hardcopy or as an ebook at Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble. com. However, I suggest you search on the word ‘Cynbad’ not ‘guts’, as there are far too many other books with ‘guts’ in the title. It is also available in hardcover at the Sara’s Secret store in Plano, the CGX Console Games stores in Collin Creek Mall and Stonebriar Mall. You can read more about the book at

http://www.mycynbad.com. Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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Adventures in the Erotic Underground™ With The Not So Desperate Housewife~ Hey kids, it’s me

Mardi, “The Not So Desperate Housewife”, considering how for everything that passes, another thing returns. Yes, this weekend’s Labor Day holiday marks the unofficial passing of another all too brief summer for most of us. By the time you read this the usual signs of summer’s end will have been seen as all the clubs have wrapped up their annual “naughty school girl” theme nights and the last official lake party of the season has sent another group of sunburned cheeks, among other things, back to the office Monday morning. But the passing of summer also marks the return of Fall and all the Autumnal madness, from Oktoberfest and Fantasy Fest to Halloween and the late-season fetish events that are special cause for celebration among the debauched denizens of the erotic underground. For the people of Paris, La Rentree, “the return”, has a special meaning. Because most of France, and indeed much of Europe, have been at the beach or otherwise on leave for the month of August, “the return” signals that now it is time to get back to business as the kids return to school and everyone returns from vacations and, more importantly, that slightly more relaxed vacation state of mind that summer inspires. La Rentree is almost a celebration as Paris, a veritable ghost town for much of August, springs back to life with a flurry of sales and promotions intended to reinvigorate businesses and ease everyone back into the “normal” life for nine more months until summer happily returns again. Speaking of returns, last week we attended a gathering organized by Rick and Tami the former owners and hosts of the late, lamented “Iniquity” club that was the model for upscale lifestyle clubs in DFW for more than nine years. The Friday night soiree was organized to introduce everyone to the new location of “The Spot”, a full-line adult novelty store carrying a variety of smoke supplies, lingerie, and jewelry as well as a unique line of custom erotic cakes and chocolate. Kristi Fisher, living doll and self-professed “professional hood ornament” (due to her pin-up work that usually involves custom cars), hosted the event with the help of The Spot’s personable and knowledgeable staff. Cassie Sterling was there to amaze us with her aerial routines.

Art and Athleticism, Cassie hits The Spot Although there is a stage and a pole and throbbing dance music involved, “pole dance” doesn’t even begin to describe the art and athleticism that Cassie brings to this demanding art form. Between long bouts of captivated staring at Cassie’s incredible performances (and sculpted bod; girls if she is any indication of what it can do for you, take up pole dance fitness NOW), I took the opportunity to ask Rick what he and Tami might have in store. He told me that after taking a couple of months off to recoup and recover from their more than nine years of running Iniquity, he and Tami would ease back into the limelight, and the hectic pace of Dallas nightlife, with an upcoming Halloween party. While not wanting to commit to too much at this stage, Rick did say that a regular series of themed lifestyle parties might be a possibility as well. Stay tuned to this space for more information as details firm up and we welcome the return of Rick and Tami’s class act back to the erotic underground and the wonderful world of DFW’s naughty nightlife. This weekend we will also be treated to another return as we will see our second full moon of the month, a so-called “blue moon”. Never could there have been a more fitting time for this rare event than now as we mark the occasion of the passing last Saturday of a very special man, Neil Armstrong. More than just the first person to set foot on a celestial body other than this earth, Armstrong was the embodiment of the type of quiet competence that stood as a symbol for our nation

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and a model for us all. So, to reflect on one more passing and to celebrate a hopeful return, I’ll leave you with this simple and elegant quote from the statement his family released: “For those who may ask what they can do to honor Neil, we have a simple request. Honor his example of service, accomplishment and modesty, and the next time you walk outside on a clear night and see the moon smiling down at you, think of Neil Armstrong and give him a wink.” Don’t let the latest entertainment pass you by, return to the Metro or www.metroane.com Return to the erotic underground as often as you like by visiting and linking to my blog at http://eroticunderground.wordpress.com Ever wonder what wondrous things I’ve been up to? Look for my new book “Adventures in the Erotic Underground: Confessions of a Not So Desperate Housewife” coming soon to a preferred purveyor of literary licentiousness. Questions or comments? Know of great places or events of interest to women or needing a woman’s perspective? Contact me at eroticunderground@gmail.com

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BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIALS WHY ADVERTISE IN METRO ANE ? WE TAKE MAKING YOU MONEY VERY SERIOUSLY!

Dallas/Fort Worth METROPLEX’s ADULT News & Entertainment Weekly Print Magazine & Digital Media Marketing Network. The #1 Source for Adult Entertainment INFO in The Dallas / Fort Worth Area. METRO ANE MEDIA Established in 1996 METRO ANE MEDIA: offers extremely affordable yet comprehensive Marketing and Advertising Solutions. These range from high traffic digital online network impressions to extensive physical print distribution outlets. We are a well established weekly adult oriented arts news and entertainment magazine that has been in circulation for over 16 years. METRO ANE MEDIA is faithfully read each week online and on the street by loyal and money wielding readers looking for a wide array of fun adult entertainment. Within the pages of METRO ANE you will find Hot Girls, Hot Places, odd and interesting news, local and national band reviews, gadget news, club & Restaurant reviews, sports news, ADULT DVD news & product reviews, music news, cars, motorcycles, club and event pictorials, Strip Clubs, Burlesque Shows, Extreme Night Life Soirees, ESCORTS, Fetish Fun, Gay Clubs, Tattoo & Body Mod Shops, Adult Video & Novelty Stores, Smoke Shops, and more. EXPECT TO FIND ALL THAT IS HIP, SWANK, and TRENDING. We also OFFER FREE Cover and editorial opportunities to our loyal and frequent advertisers. Readers, photographers and models are also encouraged to submit promotional material. We are truly “The Peoples Press”. Although our magazine does have some nudity, it is solely topless with butt shots that are tastefully “mmm” displayed. Our references to both sexes in the industry is always respectful. Our motto is, “Sometimes naughty, never nasty!” Our print readership is 18,000+ while our ONLINE DIGITAL EDITION has over 50,000 unique readers per week, this does not include our SOCIAL MEDIA and INTERNET NETWORK Presence. We spread your word via TWITTER, FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, EMAIL, and other available internet outlets, which puts us close to 70,000 . We also are continually increasing our readership and market “penetration” through our own print advertising, internet and cell phone marketing campaigns. The METRO ANE MEDIA Print solution is strategically placed in adult businesses, HOTELS, Gentleman’s Clubs & Cabarets, Adult DVD Stores, Novelty & Smoke Shops, Bars & Taverns, Night Clubs, Music Venues, and many other types of adult establishments throughout the Dallas/Fort Worth Metro area.

The METRO ANE MEDIA Digital solution is available via phone, Social Media Sites, E-Readers, Android Devices, Tablets, PC’s, etc. IPad, Iphone, IEverything...... No other weekly or monthly can come close to our ad rates and what we offer our clients. If you want people to know, METRO ANE is where you go. We are the People’s Press METRO

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Things to NOT say While Traveling Abroad by W.R. ‘jet lag’ Maxwell

So you are heading out on a foreign vacation. Stay with your tour group, don’t drink the water and, do NOT use any of these common phrases around the locals. 1. I just lost my passport. Where can I buy another one? (This phrase is especially bad in police stations.) 2. Hey stewardess, ___. (Not good on planes with male flight attendants.) 3. Everybody on the #$%$ floor! (Not good at a currency exchange or a bank.) 4. Watch my purse while I go to the toilet. (Hardly ever used in countries where functional toilets are rare.) 5. That’s not a bomb in my underwear. I’m just glad to see you. (Do not offer to prove the bulge is not a bomb.) 6. Do you speak American? (Especially bad in the UK.) 7. I have come to your country for the Chicky-Chicky Boom-Boom. (Refrain from punctuating this with pelvic thrusts.) 8. Is cocaine your country’s only export? (Not good in Columbia, Ecuador and Bolivia.) 9. Do airport screeners also provide early breast cancer detection? (The obvious answer is ‘no’ but the images may turn-up on the internet where they will be seen by dozens of healthcare professionals and their teenage sons.) 10. Do you carry a cream to relieve itching? Your country has given me a rash. 11. Hell, nobody looks like their passport photo. (Not good at in train stations and airports with gun totting soldiers.) 12. When leaving Puerto Rico, do not say, ‘It’ll sure be good to get back to America.’ 13. I know your airline is bankrupt, but do you have to charge $5 to use the onboard toilet? (Not good on American Airlines.) 14. So this is the home of the AIDS and the Ebola viruses. (Not good in most of Africa.) 15. I spend money in your third would country and therefore I am supporting

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your national economy, so deal with it. 16. Does your service come with a complimentary shot of penicillin? (Do not ask this of the girl you have rented for a night of adult entertainment. Bring your own penicillin.) 17. What kind of a hell-hole is this? (Not good in hell-holes, even in American hell-holes.) 18. When returning to the U.S. and the customs officer asks if you have anything to declare, do not say ‘I declare the RPG training was awesome’ 19. Do not fake a Scottish accent in Scotland or a Jamaican accent in Jamaica, and while you can fake a Yiddish accent just about anywhere, don’t do it in Israel. 20. Are you really sure those are girls? I’ve seen bigger breasts on starlings. (The locals may not understand how small a starling’s breast really are, but will be offended anyway.) 21. How much is this in real money? (Not good when negotiating prices in local markets where the usually currency is a goat.) 22. Never reveal that you are an American. If they ask, say ‘I’m Canadian.’ 23. Why can’t you just stuff that screaming baby into the overhead compartment? (Do not say this to the mother of the screaming baby.) 24. Please don’t touch my genitals. (Not good at the TSA checkpoint.) 25. Where is the nearest McDonalds? (Not good in places serving mysterymeat wrapped in banana leaves or where they eat gruel with their fingers.) 26. I’ve heard this country is famous for old buildings and hookers. (This phrase is acceptable only in Prague and Budapest.) 27. Do you have any heroin or cocaine I can buy? I’m going into withdrawals. 28. Where is the Hitler Youth Camp? (Especially bad in Germany and parts of Argentina.) 29. You people actually eat this cr_p? (Not good where the waiter is wearing a knife.) 30. When in Belgium, do not ask, ‘What part of France is this?’ 31. My lighter won’t work. Do you have some matches? (This phrase is not advisable on airplanes, and it is especially bad with explosives protruding from your underwear.) 32. Why do all the women have hair under their arms? (Not advisable in most of Europe.) 33. I have to throw up. How do I roll down the @#$% window on this taxi? 34. But baby, are you sure you’re old enough for this? (Not good in countries where the average height is under 60

inches.) 35. Do you have change for a 100 dollar bill? (I actually used this in Russia and was told my bill was a fake. In countries where $100 is the average annual income, this phrase is extremely insulting.) 36. Where are all the pretty girls? (Not good in bordellos in any country.) 37. I’m in the Secret Service and with the President’s advance team. Where are the all night bars and bordellos? (Acceptable in Columbia and Thailand, but not anywhere else.) 38. Can you guard my bag while I go outside for a smoke break? (Especially bad in Muslim countries where tobacco is banned and luggage thievery is not.) 39. If the hotel is rated 4-condoms, why does it have only 2-stars? (The usual answer is the hotel only changes the sheets once a month.) 40. Will you take our picture? (Not good in countries with a large trade in used camera.) 41. No, I’m allergic to snake meat. (Especially insulting when considered as a sexual euphemism.) 42. How much is a train ticket where I don’t have to ride on top of the train? 43. I’m an American, which way to the al Qaida training camp? (Not good in Pakistan, Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, Su-

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dan, Yemen, Somalia, Indonesia, Syria, Lebanon etc.) 44. I’m not really with the CIA, I’m a journalist. (This will get you kidnapped in most parts of the Middle East.) 45. Does this hotel have electricity and running water? (Also not good in Arkansas.) 46. Doooooo Youuuuu Speeeeak Enggggliiiiish ????? (Saying it slower will not increase the likelihood they will understand the question.) It is also good to remember that the locals may not understand the English language but they will know when you are cussing them out. The word ‘f_ _king’ is universal and need no translation. If you smile while calling your robber a s.o.b., then you might lose only your wallet, Rolex and camera. Remember to pack aspirin, pepto, sunscreen, soap, a few band aids and toilet paper. Also, keep a credit card and a twenty dollar bill stuffed inside your shoe and keep the address and phone number of the American embassy in the other shoe. It’s good to carry a prepaid cell phone that works in the country you are visiting. Have fun and take lots of pictures, but not all on the same memory card.

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THE HARD SCORE gaining agreement with the NBA players union) so they’d have more money and trade rights down the road is great material.

False positive. It’s supposed to mean something that looks good but in truth, isn’t. That’s the difference between us blue collar types and the fancy aftershave set. I say something’s a lie, they call it a false positive. You know who else is good with this? Major League Ball players. The truth to them is just another undiscovered lie. That’s how deeply ingrained both the use of drugs and protection of users goes into the heart of the game. With the Oakland A’s pitcher Bartolo Colon being suspended 50 games for testosterone use, he joins Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera to be the second to get the boot in one week, both from the Bay Area. Just how badly does this hurt Colon and the A’s? Well, 50 games sounds like a lot, but the reality is, he’ll probably only miss the roughly 8 or so games he would’ve pitched in that span. So that’s not that painful to Oakland. Oh, he gets tagged 50 games worth out of his wallet, just less than a third of his check for the year, but that won’t be incentive not to cheat again if he thinks he’s figured out a way to get past the screening. The A’s have about 38 games left in the season, and they’re battling the Rays, Orioles, Tigers, for the wild card, and maybe the Angels. Tampa and Detroit have their full complement of starters so this now looks very iffy for Oakland to get in. With New York City liking to be the cutting edge in all that’s going on, the Jets have created a double false positive. First, just being the Jets, and second, the Tebow experiment. How is it that so many smart guys can’t tie their own football laces when it comes to understanding what makes a team? Is

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there anybody out there that doesn’t get it that to have an effective offensive you have to have an offensive line? Why is the Quarterback position the toughest in the NFL? Because if you play for the Jets, Bears, Cowboys, Cardinals, Dolphins and so on, they have to worry more about saving their own lives before even thinking of completing a pass. The Jets O-line made the Panthers defense look far better than what it is. Has the Tebow experiment worked out? Well sure, if you’re Tim and wanted to go to NYC and be on the world’s biggest media stage. Not so much for the Jets. When he gets to run the offense it’s more of the same as last year with the Broncos. Take the snap, lose the defensive reads, start scrambling all over the field like he’s in a college game, and either finish a run or make some sort of hopping in the air let’s hang a looper over the corner and into coverage toss. There’s far more real football fans than Tebow supporters in NYC and fan reaction wasn’t anywhere near what Timmy experienced in Denver. The Jets are taking a pounding for ignoring the O-line and doing a Broadway Chorus Line with Tebow instead of paying attention to strengthening the team. That’s very much a true positive and it ain’t nice for the Jets. Rex Ryan knows defense, and he knows he wants to keep opposing defenses guessing, but he needs to figure out you can do a hell’uva lot more of that with a high powered well executing offense than circus side shows.

Let’s not ignore the Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, and his acquired taste for false positives. His defense of “The Plan” of dismembering the Finals Champions in anticipation of a new CBA (collective bar-

Mr. Cuban, with his entourage clinging encouragingly at his side, decries any notion that this is a team built of second raters. That this team is built to compete now. Really? When I just skim over the players they got and review their team histories I find a bunch of lower than tier one hoopsters. Can they compete now? Why sure, any team that hits the court and runs up and down is considered competing. But here in Dallas, Mr. Cuban, when we talk of competing we’re talking of winning championships, not backpedaling and putting rimmers out there. Why don’t you just say you’re rebuilding and had to make some changes and that if/when a player comes available through trade or draft, you’ll spring big time. Don’t try to tell and sell the fans that last season was anything but a disaster. NFL If you don’t know the question, what took so long, regarding anything in sports, you’re either living somewhere outside of Timbuktu, or you’re a vegan. Vegans don’t like sports. They don’t like meat or anything else fun. None have ever been inside a Hooters. They’re so bad neither political party will recruit them. I digress. Many are asking what took so long for Buffalo to let Vince Young go? We never knew why they signed him, but why’d it take this long to cut him? Some compare him to JaMarcus Russell, ex Raiders QB and world leader of all fat quarterbacks, but this is unfair. VY at least could push himself away from a table. Others compare him to Ryan Leaf, but VY doesn’t go to jail because he has claustrophobia, which is also why he can’t stay in the pocket. Then there’s the sister question, hey, cities have sisters so I’m guessing questions do

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to, and it’s: why is it taking so long? Here’s how most fans believe it takes to build a contending NFL team. Year one, draft and trade, lose most games. Year two, draft and trade some more, but win half your games. Year three, more drafts and trades, get wild card and lose in first round. Year four, win division and get to Conference game. Year five, get to Super Bowl and win. One paper this just looks like strawberry shortcake, all nice and neat and tasty. Reality goes down a heck’uva lot different. When asked if I can pick the single most problem that keeps teams from winning, I always say ego’s. Not injuries. Not bad coaches. Not bad game plans. All contribute, but the single most problem for developing a winning team is ego’s. What’s kept the Cowboys from having an offensive line? Or the Jets? The Bears? The Browns? Ego’s at the top levels. That’s why parity won’t make all the teams the same. And then there’s the “why do it at all” question. When first asked this I immediately began thinking of cheerleaders, hot wings, tater salad, and iced cold beer. Hey, I’m a guy, it takes a bit for me to think outside the box. Unfortunately reality set in, and I had to admit, wrestling with preseason injury issues truly begs the question of why do it at all? The weak, limp, lame brained answer I hate is that it’s equal for all teams. So what? Being equally stupid is justification? Set up three or four scrimmages with different teams and have two preseason games. That allows for players, coaches, officials, replay booth, and yeah, the cheerleaders, to get real time ready. First game gets the regulars up, second game tests those left on the bubble.

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: TheHardScore : TheHardScore : TheHardScore : Is there any reason to go over preseason game four? Not unless you have sadomasochistic tendencies. Oh, yeah, you’re sports fans. Never mind. Readers Response: Two Dogs: Why is the NFL having games on Wednesday nights? This is more stupid than anything they’ve ever done, and that’s saying something. Are they keeping this? Claydie Tuscaloosa Claydie: Well, I don’t know how this is gonna sit with you but it’s because of the Democratic National Convention on Thursday night. Not just that, but President Obama is giving his acceptance speech at the Carolina Panthers Bank of America Stadium. Most people aren’t all that crazy about having Thursday games anyway, but the NFL likes to open the season with a standout, then shift back into normal schedules. The bigger question for many is, if the Democrats truly don’t know that football is America’s favorite pastime, not politics, and that they don’t know how to look down and check for conflicts in schedules, especially when their little get together is being held in a football stadium, then how could they reasonably be expected to run a country? Do you know WHY Goodell agreed to move his season opening game to Wednesday? Because the NFL is more popular than political conventions and would pull they’re audience. The problem never should have come up because all teams have to submit their schedules of events to the NFL so any conflicts can be taken into consideration when setting the upcoming season’s schedule. The problem here is, when the Panthers organization was approached by the DNC to use their stadium, the checks and balances didn’t work. TD Two Dogs: What an idiot. Last week you said the Cowboys were playing the Cardinals but they were playing the Rams. The Cardinals MOVED from St Louis years ago to Phoenix and the Rams from LA to St Louis. Pull your head out. Sawyer

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Irving Sawyer: Believe me, you are not alone in pointing that out. Fact is, I had to sift through the pile to find one like yours that was ok enough to print. I want to say how glad I am to make the acquaintance of so many people that never make mistakes, we need people like you to make up for those of us with flaws. By the way, I pulled my head out and didn’t see my shadow so to save you the trouble, I put it back.

don’t they use the most sophisticated testing all the time, not just a fraction of it? And just why would any clean players aid and abet cheaters and drug users? When I see players on the field, I want to know I’m watching real athletes compete, not sit there and be worried over whose dirty and who’s not. Or be like the Giants and A’s fans and watch their hopes of a post season get slammed against the rocks. It’s the attitude of people like you that encourage the cheaters.

is a huge loss. People have little faith in the offensive line to run or pass block, and without real starting receivers out there, that’ll put the pressure on the running game. To say fans are nervous about this season is like saying you’re moving next to a simmering volcano, either are likely to blow up on you. I think we’ve seen some excellent work from younger receivers, enough that if Garrett will use them, it could be exciting in a good way. You don’t want running back Murray hurt.

TD

TD

TD

Two Dogs: Clemmons is owed his DUE since he’s been cleared of all charges. He DESERVES tpo be on the Hall of FAme and apologized to by the whole COUNTRY. Houstons the greatest scity in the world and the Astros will have Roger backi and put into THE HALL.

Two Dogs: Shouldn’t Mark Cuban get off his high horse and hurt feelings and retire Jason Kidd’s jersey number? You’d think a billionaire wouldn’t have to be so petty and small minded as the joe the plumbers. Without Kidd there’s no Championship. Zip. Nada. Dump.

Two Dogs: Do you think Vilma should have put that picture up outside his restaurant that disrespected NFL Commissioner Goodell and saying he can’t eat there? Isn’t that the kind of maturity issues that had him running the bounty program in New Orleans?

Drak Houston

Merrill Dallas

Drak: He was cleared of lying to Congress you dweeb, not the drug use. HE’s the one who owes an apology to the entire country. It was easy to tell you’re from Houston, your brains are out to sea.

Merrill: I hate agreeing with Cuban it takes all the fun out hacking him off, but, I do have to go along with him on this. And from the responses I’ve been getting, it’s mostly a bunch of media dweebs stirring this up as my readers are thumbing this down, too. By the way, the plumbers I know happen to know a lot more about basketball than you, Joe or no Joe.

TD Two Dogs: Alls you ever do is put down baseball never say anything good at all. It’s a great game, better than anyhother out there and you ruin it. It has more strategy and thinking and anticipation than no other game. Your the one what needs to clean up his act. Seron Midlothian Seron: Did you type that all by yourself? Your teachers must be so proud. Tell me, how many years did it take you to get out of the sixth grade? I’ll make it easy for you, I’m not the one who’s responsible for the game of baseball sliding down in the public’s eyes. MLB is impotent (look that up, it’ll do you good to actually open up a dictionary) in drafting and implementing true and valid substance abuse testing. Why don’t they increase testing in the off season, which has been proven to be a time players can use to ramp up? Why

TD Two Dogs: What are the Cowboys chances with Miles Austin unable to stay healthy, Dez Bryant unable to stay healthy or stay out of trouble, and now nose tackle Jay Ratliff out with a high ankle sprain? I thought our defense could carry us until the offense got running. Turk Denton

Turk: High ankle sprains take longer to heal to the point where a professional level player can be fully able at his position, so Ratliff

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Tawachia Ft Smith Tawachia: Aside from the fact I think it’s funny, I’d tell him to put one up that refuses to allow Vegans to enter. Goodell has a good sense of humor, that’s his job description. Vilma apparently doesn’t, which is why he’s out of work. TD Two Dogs: Why don’t team’s game plan for preseason games? Coaches would get a better idea of how rookies are coming along and how the regulars have come back. Who knows the playbook, routes, etc. But more importantly, I believe that game planning would cut down on the injuries since players would have more of an idea of where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to be doing. Aaron Dallas Aaron: Great question and great thought on the injuries. Coaches downplay it because they’re stuck with it, but I think you have a valid point. It’s been discussed, and there’s no league rule against it, it’s just the old, “that’s how we’ve always done it” mentality. TD

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orilla gadgets

odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff!

H

Fyretv.com Well folks, it’s time again for the BRITISH BIKE BURNUP annual Labor Day rallye.. Summer’s over?? Yep, weather’s cooling off, it’s ridin’ time again.. So get on ya bike, scooter, or just come on down for the show.. Everyone invited.. We’ll have the 5&Dime canopy set up with refreshment’s, event T shirt, and a good time.. Sunday Sept 2nd 1-5pm.. We’ve changed the time this year, kick’s off a little earlier.. So, forward this email, get on the horn, or pass the word along to anyone who might be interested..

See ya’ll then.. Hollywood 5&Dime 214-827-1680 We’re just east of downtown, across from the Fair Park DART rail station, just of I30 (if you don’t know where it is go to mapquest.com).. Keep the dirty side down... And the fun side up.. More info, photo’s from prior

event’s??? Go to:

www.stylekat.com

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Cynbad. An elite Courtesan in Dallas, Texas Description The true story about a young woman reared in rural Oklahoma. “Cynthia” grows up in poverty, and is responsible for supporting her three younger sisters after her mother Leah dies tragically at the hands of

exotic dancers and escorts along the way, they press Cynthia to her wits end, but are also a source of comic relief. Combining her beauty with a shrewd business sense, she’s a formidable love potion, mastering men’s hearts and pocketbooks with ease. However, her alter-ego (“Cynbad”)

Big Booty Megastar: Richelle Ryan By: Ms. Misha Morê

Richelle was born and raised in the beautiful state of New York. She is a red-hot Italian which explains her fiery and brassy personality and of course passion for sex.

a pimp. While trying to make sense of her families’ loss, she uncovers a secret source of inspiration--her late mother’s “play book.” She’s assigned a new stage name (“Cynbad”), which helps transform her from a plain country girl with an appetite for the fineries of life, to an elegant but impetuous courtesan. Desperate to free her sisters from foster care, she moves to Dallas, Texas. Befriending like-minded

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remains unchecked, eventually entangling her in a faux love affair with a man whose character she can no longer control. Her greed and tizzy fits escalate. In the shocking finale, the fate of her three precious sisters hangs in the balance when certain “visitors” come knocking. Can she rally the courage to confront her “inner demons” and “free” her sisters for good or does she linger in the “Game,” and carry on the toxic legacy her late mother intended for her? www.mycynbad.com

girl/girl. Her latest work is Monsters of Cock Series. The wildest place she has had sex at was at the church benches. Richelle has a passion for NY Giants, football, dancing and Hello Kitty. Her favorite foods are sushi and turkey. She likes attractive and well groomed men and women.

Growing up she went through many stages, she was a tomboy which didn’t last very long, then grew an interest for her mother’s make-up and trying on her bras and high heels and posing in front of the mirror.

Her favorite fetishes are erotic asphyxiation, spitting, face smothering and foot fetish.

During college she was dancing at a local gentlemen’s club and her sexuality became more open. She was trying to be like “the girl in the movies” and planned her move to Los Angeles to explore the adult industry. She has worked for all the top companies, gone to all of the major shows in the U.S., walked the red carpet at all of the biggest events, set up her corporation and shot lots of content for her website.

She would like someday to work in professional sports.

Her favorite genre of movies to do are

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

If stranded on an island, she would bring her Hello Kitty collection.

Her future plans is to continue feature dancing and work in professional football. Her ultimate fantasy is to have sex with David Beckham and Apollo Ono.

SEE PHOTOS on PAGE 14

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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Big Booty Megastar: Richelle Ryan By: Ms. Misha Morê

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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Vampire Girl

$5.98 | CD http://www.metropolis-mailorder.com/ PRE-ORDER: Order now, and we will ship this item to you when it is released on August 28, 2012. Lords of Acid bring the sleaze with the new single Vampire Girl! Featuring an all new track as well as the previously digital only “Pop That Tooshie” and “Paranormal Energy” singles! 01. Vampire Girl 02. Pop That Tooshie (feat. Alana Evans) 03. Pop That Tooshie (Army of the Universe Remix) 04. Drowning In Ecstasy (3kStatic Remix) 05. Pop That Tooshie (Exageist’s Dubstep Remix) 06. Paranormal Energy (feat. Zak Bagans) 07. Paranormal Energy (Kinetic Energy Remix) 08. Sole Sucker (Angelspit Remix) 09. Paranormal Energy (Poltergeist Activity Remix)

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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SINsual Shot™ is more than a drink – it’s a lifestyle, but at the heart of the party is the patented raw material technology providing natural sexual energy. Produced by Dagus Brands, LLC, SINsual Shot is the world’s first sexual performance enhancement drink for women and men. The first sip of SINsual Shot jump-starts the libido through a forbidden secret obtained deep in the Brazilian tropical rain forest. The patented formula is combined with a power packed dose of Arginine to boost nitric oxide, Horny Goat Weed acting as a PD-5 inhibitor, and the ancient secrets of the Maca root. Vitamin B-12 provides added natural energy. Dagus Brands owner David Gustafson says, “In addition to its proven results and great flavors, SINsual Shot is 100%

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all-natural. It is an effective way to increase energy and heighten orgasms – a combination available only through our one of a kind formula.” The SINsual Shot comes in two flavors. Try our eligant Chocolate Mint and the refreshing Forbidden Fruit.

ral

Introducing the SINsual Shot The world’s first and only sexual performance enhancement drink for both men and women. • Mixes well with Alcohol • Faster Recovery •All Natu-

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¡Podrás hacer el amor por muchas horas Garantizado !

Dallas Male Medical Clinics tiene años ayudando a recuperar su potencia sexual a miles de hombres sin importar su edad o condición medica en una sola visita.

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METRO ANE 08.29.2012