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Hello, my name is Laura Simmons and I am the Owner/Operator of Bygone Broads Photography. I specialize in 1940’s/1950’s Pin Up photography as well as

vintage boudoir, maternity/pregnant pin-up, and engagement/couples.This business has evolved from my passions and love of history, photography, creativity, anything vintage, and the lifestyle of days gone by. Your portrait session with me includes a retro hair-style, makeup, false eye-lashes, retro/vintage wardrobe and/or lingerie, accessories, props, backgrounds, and posing assistance. You will receive all of your photos on a thumb drive within a few days of your shoot to use as you please along with a print release. Then you will be able to choose your favorites for editing/enhancement/airbrushing or special effects!! continued on page 3...

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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..continued from page 2 It is very likely that we can incorporate you or your partner’s occupation and/ or hobbies into your photo session! So your ready to be transformed into a glamorous Pin Up, but still have so many questions about what to expect, what to bring, etc.. I have tried to answer most of your questions below as well as give you some tips that will make your photos even better (something most other photographers don’t think about or tell their clients). Your photo session will take place in my private home studio unless otherwise discussed. I have been told by every one of my clients that they were so nervous prior to their appointment, but instantly felt at ease upon meeting me. I am a very down to earth married mother of four kids. You and I (and occasionally a hair/makeup assistant) will be the only ones present at your photo shoot for the utmost of privacy. If you feel more comfortable bringing along a friend for support, I don’t mind as long as you limit it to one friend. However, you need to ask yourself if bringing along a companion will truly put you at ease or make you more nervous, as you will feel like you have an audience. I ask that you please bring no children to the session. Upon our initial conversation, we will discuss your size and any themed ideas that you would like to incorporate. I will let you know at that time what clothing,lingerie, & shoes I have available in your size. This will determine if you need to bring any additional wardrobe. I have a ton of retro/ vintage wardrobe

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that I have been collecting for some time as well as shoes, accessories, & props. I do my absolute best to provide complete wardrobe choices for every gal. This is something that most Pin Up Photographers do not offer & I’m adding to my collection all the time. One thing that I may ask you to bring is a nude color strapless bra and panty to wear underneath my wardrobe. Groom yourself like it’s your wedding night! Shave anything that needs shaving, wax what needs waxing, tweeze, trim, etc.. Avoid dry legs, knees, elbows etc. & apply lotion the morning of your shoot. I ask that you please paint your fingernails & toenails in a nice red, pink, or bright era-appropriate color. You will need to come with your hair clean, totally dry and free of any product. Come with a clean face, no makeup, but bring your own foundation.Come wearing loose fitting clothing & avoid tight fitting undergarments as they tend to leave elastic pressure lines on skin. The next thing that I highly recommend is doing your research. Spend some time on the Internet looking at Pin Ups. Study their poses, their demeanor, and most importantly their expressions. It’s all in the face!! Pin Up is all about facial expression and personality. You will need to spend some time continued on page 4... Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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in front of the mirror practicing different facial expressions. Practice smiling, practice the classic “ooh” face, surprised look, & other playful looks. This is going to make you feel more confident when its action time and is going to make your results so much better in the long run. You will get out of it what you put into it. Don’t be afraid to be too over dramatic & really ham it up. Those cheesy ones are very often the best photos. I will give you complete instruction on posing like a Pin Up, no experience required! I will guide you the whole way through & help with outfit, set & prop selection. I will pose you in ways that flatter your figure, accent parts of your body that you love and hide the ones you don’t. I retouch my photos to make you look Pin Up perfect which includes removing blemishes, fine lines, bruises, scars, freckles, smoothing skin, etc.. I also offer special effects such as black & white with color accents, retro frames and or text, etc. I ask that you bring a thumb/flash drive with you to your appointment. Your photos will be uploaded onto your drive and given to you within a few days of your shoot along with a print release. You will then be able to view them and pick your favorites for enhancement/editing. Although I own

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the rights to every photo that I take, I would never use or post your photos in any way without getting your written permission first. Hopefully this has answered most of your questions & if not, feel free to contact me anytime! We are conveniently located in North Fort Worth, right off of I-35 and serve the entire Fort Worth & Mid-Cities area. Gift Certificates are also available in any amount!!

bygonebroadsphotography.com Facebook: Bygone Broads

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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We live in a post-apocalyptic world where zombies have decimated the human population. Those who survived the zombie

apocalypse went into hiding. They’re exhausted, low on supplies, and severely outnumbered.

Recently, a survivor was found who has details of a weapon so powerful that it could end the zombie occupation. Her name is Captain Anderson Cooley, and she worked for Frawg Stomp Corporation as an advanced weapons engineer. In 2001, she was tasked with developing a human weapon system that could protect civilization in the event of a zombie apocalypse. She called this system the Zombi Assault Pack (ZAP), and it contained all the weapons a human soldier would need to decimate the zombies. In 2003, Frawg Stomp Corporation secretly hid each of the ZAP’s weapons in locations scattered across the city. During the

apocalypse, Frawg Stomp assault teams led by Captain Cooley were unable to reach these locations in time, and were overrun. Captain Cooley and a few of her team members survived. They’ve been in hiding ever since, searching for other survivors and planning their next attack. Your goal is to find these hidden locations and gather all the weapons necessary to complete a Zombi Assault Pack.

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You’ll then have to return to Survivor Headquarters without being infected. Risk for infection is extreme and the zombies have evolved over the years. They’ve become smarter, faster, and aware... The Race: Upon checking in at Survivor Headquarters, teams of two participants will be given an incomplete list of clues (via QR code) and a Zombi passport. Teams will work to solve each clue leading them to a specific location where they’ll be required to complete a physical or mental challenge. Once completed successfully, the team’s Zombi passport will be stamped. At some locations additional clues will be provided. Each team will continue to solve clues and complete challenges until their Zombi passport is completely stamped. Once finished, teams will race back to Survivor Headquarters while dodging hungry zombies.

Hordes of zombies are everywhere. Their only goal is to infect as many survivors as possible. You’ll come face to face with these zombies, and if your team isn’t fast enough, you risk becoming infected. If you or your teammate is tagged by a zombie you’ll be marked. Upon completing all the challenges you’ll return to Survivor Headquarters where you’ll be scanned for infection. If infection is detected, you and your teammate will be quarantined.

If you’re not infected you’ll continue to the Zombi post-apocalyptic party, where you’ll celebrate your adventure with beer and zombie inspired cheer. Those infected, will have the option to zombify themselves through zombie inspired gear prior to joining the others in the post-apocalyptic party. To join the race or get more info select your city online and sign up.

http://www.zombirace.com Dallas - 2/16/12 Austin (Part I) - 2/22/12 Austin (Part II) - 2/23/12

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

If you’re a person who would rather hunt than be hunted, then become a Zombi at Zombi Race. As a Zombi you’ll: Chase humans around your city Work with the Zombi Race staff to provide an awesome Zombi experience Get cool Zombi Race swag *Note - This is a volunteer position. If you’re looking for the full racing experience please register for the Zombi Race in your city. However, if you dig dressing as a zombi and chasing humans then the Zombi position is for you*

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ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

Giggle, Grin, Groan

submitted by: W. R. Maxwell

Remember, send your funny jokes to wr_maxwell@hotmail.com and your bad jokes to wr_maxwell@hotmail.com

********************

A man goes to the city jail and asks to speak with the prowler who had been caught after breaking into his house. The jailor said, ‘Sorry mister, but he can only talk to his attorney and his immediate family. But why would you want to talk with him anyway?’ ‘Well, I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years.’ *********** The difference between dating and marriage ; When you are dating, he takes you out for drinks to have a good time, but after your married, he brings home a six-pack and hogs the remote. ********** “Some people say I’m a hypocrite because I eat burgers but won’t wear real fur. To them I say – I’m an heiress, I don’t need to be consistent.” – Paris Hilton Here are 5 things you should not say at your next job interview ; 1) ‘My resume could have been stronger, if I had time to make up more things.’ 2) ‘To properly show case my skills as an executive, I’ll need a secretary to sit on my lap.’ 3) ‘I majored in Xerox in technical school.’ 4) ‘The ankle monitor will not impair my job performance’ 5) ‘But I was totally hammered at my last company, so they shouldn’t call about my work history.’ ********** A man walks into a bar with an 8 foot alligator and asks the bartender ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ The bartender replied, ‘We sure do. What can I get you?’ The man says, ‘I’ll have a beer and a lawyer for my ‘gator.’ ********** A husband and his wife are having a terrible dispute – it is so bad that they are scarcely speaking to each other. One night, the husband goes to bed early and leaves a note on his wife’s nightstand saying ‘I have to go to the office early tomorrow. Wake me at 6 AM.’ The next morning the man awakes at noon and finds a note on his nightstand saying ‘Wake up you lazy bum. It’s 6AM.’ *********

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

A young prostitute wants to leave the bordello and find an easier life. The Madame at the cathouse asks, ‘But why? You are the most popular girl at my brothel – you go upstairs at least 25 times a day.’ The working-girl explains, ‘That’s just it – my feet are killing me!’ ********* A new hooker was turning her first trick with a big, muscular ‘john’. She explained, ‘straight sex cost $100, and a blowjob cost $75.’ The guy says ‘but I only got $25. What can I get for $25?’ The hooker replied, ‘I can only give you a hand-job for $25.’ The guy paid her and pulled out his schlong. The girl put one hand around it then the other hand around it but there was still room for 2 more hands! So what did this novice hooker do with the 4-hand schlong? She loaned him $75. ********* A man meets a hooker on the street and says ‘hey baby, I got $15, lets go f_ _k.’ The girl replies, ‘for $15, all I let you do is look at it.’ So they go down a dark alley to complete the transaction. She pulls down her pants and he kneels before her, but says ‘it’s too dark, I can’t see anything.’ So he strikes a match for a better view and then says, ‘wow, you have a very thick bush. Can you pee thru all that hair?’ She says, ‘don’t be silly. Of course I can.’ He says, ‘well you better start pissing. I just set you on fire.’ ********* A guy is trying to impress the beautiful girl who is sun bathing beside the hotel pool. He gets on the diving board and performs a 2 and a half rotation with a twist and lands perfectly without a splash. Then he climbs to the top of the high-dive platform and performs another flawless dive but with 3 and a half rotations and a full twist, from the pike position. After 4 more acrobatic dives, he gets out of the pool and lays down next to the beautiful girl. She says, ‘That’s incredible! Where did you learn to dive like that?’ He replies, ‘I am an Olympic diving champion from California and I’m here on vacation.’ Next, the girl dives into the pool and does 10 laps each of freestyle, butterfly, back stroke and breast stroke. After her 40 laps, she gets out and lays down next to the guy. He says, ‘That’s incredible and you’re not even breathing hard! Where did you learn to swim like that?’ and she replied, ‘I’m a hooker from New Orleans and I work both sides of the river.’ *********

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All-Con 2012: End Of The World By: Ms. Misha Morê

All-Con 2012 is celebrating the end of the world in 2012 and marks its eighth year as a multi-media fan culture convention in Dallas, Texas. Scientifically, there is the galactic alignment/Cardinal Cross combined with increased solar flare activity. Metaphysically, the Chinese “I Ching”, Mayan calendar, and Hopi prophecy all show 2012 to be the end of time. What better way to put a smile on the faces of zombies, road warriors, and disaster victims than to enjoy a good carnival. Carnival Epsilon has added All-Con to their 2012 national “All Wound Up” tour and will be appearing throughout the weekend with different acts. Make sure you add them to your list of ‘must see and do’ while at All-Con. All-Con is on March 16-18, 2012 at the Crowne Plaza in Addison, Texas near the Dallas Galleria. While enjoying the convention, please take some time to generously donate blood which is a great and unselfish community service. The person who ultimately receives your donation will probably be in a dangerous or life threatening situation. Giving blood is easy and Carter BloodCare even makes it convenient. Carter BloodCare will be on-site Friday, March 16 (12pm to 5pm) and Saturday, March 17 (10am to 3:30pm). Saturday afternoon at the convention, dolls of every scale will be competing in the annual Doll-Con at All-Con Costume Competition. The rules are simple and the competion fierce but friendly. The theme of the contest follows All-Con’s annual theme and prizes will be awarded for top entries in three categories: Cosplay, Original Design, and Craftsmanship. Other highlights include Repo per-

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forming as a shadowcast on Saturday by Amber Does Dallas. The performance will take place on the Chinaberry stage. “In the year 2056 - the not so distant future - an epidemic of organ failures devastates the planet. Out of the tragedy, a savior emerges: GeneCo, a biotech company that offers organ transplants, for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted by villainous Repo Men.” This is a free performance for All-Con attendees.

The quest for helping end hunger began many years ago when Ray Williamson endured misfortune of his own and had to rely on others help to keep himself fed.

For one hour on Saturday night the Oak Ballroom changes over to a format not typically seen at fandom culture conventions. At 10:00, after the costume competition, All-Con presents burlesque on the Oak stage.

During that time Ray met many people who shared his same situation and vowed one day to give back to those that helped him, hence Rockers Against Hunger was born and continued for many years featuring local bands that all came together to help with the cause.

In 2010, La Divina Burlesque was tapped the the professional booking agent for the burlesque performance at All-Con. Diamond Jim is the promoter and entrusted with the task of putting together tasteful performances. Lovely ladies bookd to perform for this year’s program includes La Divina, Black Mariah, Donna Denise, Blaze and Lula Houp-Garou.

Fast forward to 2011 and Ray Williamson has stepped up to do it again, only this time it is called “Hunger Must Die”. These shows will feature many bands from the Texas area that are coming together to help raise money and canned goods for the Tarrant Area Food Bank.

After the Burlesque performance, it’s time to turn the ballroom around, set up the entertainment, and move swiftly through the night. It’s the largest room party at the con.

This mission is one that is never ending… let’s take the next step and help knock out hunger one step at a time. Every city in America has people who can benefit from food drive concerts... why not become part of “Hunger Must Die” and show your support in every city! Please come out with can food to one of our upcoming HUNGER MUST DIE food drives and receive a 2.00 discount off the 10.00 cover charge.remember the shows in Tarrant counties side benefit www.tafb.org Also see:

Whether you’re into the coming of a savior, total destruction by natural forces, nuclear holocaust, next-agedawning, arrival of the aliens, or the always feared Zombie Apocalypse, plan to attend All-Con and be a part of the fun at the All-Con Apocalypse Ball. The music starts up at midnight and plays through the early morning hours. Forces of all futures combine on the dance floor for a party to mark the ending of all ages.

www.facebook.com/hungerm1

This Weeks Show will be at the

MONKEY PUB & GRUB 1340 Hwy 78 Sasche, TX 972-941-8300 SATURDAY, FEB 18TH NOON-2AM. $8.00 2 CANS OF FOOD $10.00 COUPLE PLUS 4 CANS OF FOOD. 12:30-1:00 LUKAS SZROT (ACCOUSTIC) 4:00-5:00 CC CROSS (SONGWRITER AMER) 5:30-6:30 BAD REPUTATION (JOAN JETT/RUNAWAYS) 7:00-8:00 MUTHALODE (KISS) 8:30-9:30 BLUE TAIL FLY (ZZ TOP) 10:00-11:00 BLUE TAIL FLY 11:30-1:00 MAGIC ASTRO CULT(WORLD BEAT)

And Super-Hero Sunday is not just a costume contest, it’s a pageant for super-heroes and super-villains. Established and well-known heroes from comics, movies, and television are welcome as are new and original creations the world has never seen before. Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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THE HARD SCORE Although it’s rare that I’ll make a public admission, I have to state for the record that sports writers are humans, too. I know there’s a ton of opposition to that thought, but it’s true. Actually, having been under the bus many times in my life, I’ll go ahead and throw most of my colleagues under for a view, because while I know I’m reasonably human, I’m pretty sure most of them aren’t. But, as fun as it would be fun to digress along those lines, let’s try to keep a thread going. Withdrawals. I’m really having ‘em over the lack of football right now. Yes yes, I know, it’s only been a couple of weeks since the Super Bowl, and the draft’s right around the corner, but in my book you aren’t human if you aren’t missing your Sunday games.

but want to just doesn’t equal higher skill level and that’s a major part of the problem. Like I said before, regardless of whether they get in this year, they have a lot of very good elements and players to work from. They’re still very fun and exciting to watch, and they’ll be competitive. TD Two Dogs: Your dummer than a post, if thats possible. Petyton’s ten times the QB than Eli and I doln’;t t care thaet he has those two rings. Who ever said you khnew football? Get a real job, if anybody wil hire you. Bill

So it’s a good thing I’ve got a loyal cadre of chili cooking, beer drinking, and opinion shouting asphalt warriors. Let’s see what they’re messed up over this week.

Bill: Here’s two things for you, Bill, A] the reason you can’t type is because you can’t even scratch your own butt with a handful of fishhooks; and, B] anybody named Bill is now trying to change their name so nobody will associate them with an idiot.

Readers Response:

TD

Two Dogs: I really want my Stars to make the playoffs but am getting very worried. Can they get in? Are they good enough? Is it the coaching problem?

Two Dogs: I think people should be more forgiving of the draft process as, like Belichick says, it’s more art than science. Even with all the film and scouts, it’s an inexact practice. People just get mad because of all the money and they don’t want their teams set back.

Derrian Oak Cliff Derrian: Well, I wouldn’t cancel having a party yet, but I also wouldn’t send out the invites. I think the chances are slim to grim they get in the postseason. Do I think it’s a coaching problem? No, not at all. There’s a little over 25 games to go and several things can turn their direction and against somebody else,

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Sandra Dallas Sandra: Glad to see you’re planning ahead. Here’s something to think about, the scientists in the world WERE the artists (Renaissance figures like Galileo and Michelangelo). Also, just how many

athletes do you know that are scoring big and making big dollars after their dead? Now how many artists are having their works displayed and sold for millions? Maybe a top artist isn’t such a bad position to play after all, no? TD Two Dogs: With a dollar I can get a cup of coffee and get more for my money than your opinion of the Broncos and Tim Tebow. They won’t suffer any setbacks next year but you will. Rollon Denver Rollon: Did your parents name you that because you’re better as an antiperspirant? Must be because you suck as far as knowing how to evaluate a football player. I think you should go get a cup of shut the hell up. TD Two Dogs: Who do you think the Jets should take as their top draft choice? This has to be one that can help bring the team together. Maricel Poughkeepsie

Maricel: Well, when you look at the owners, front office, coaching staff, players, and the city of New York, I’d have to say their number one pick should be Bruno Mars. Loved him on the Grammy’s and he’d bring a touch of class and a whole lot of energy to that group, and he’d fit in with the whole rambunctious nature. Can’t play football but he’d be great for team chemistry and the city would rally behind them. And, he could entertain at halftime. TD Two Dogs:

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

I say the Stars play out with desperation and get in and get to second round. Drake Corinth Drake: There’s a huge difference playing at a sustained high level and playing “desperate” for a continued period of time. Right now the Stars can only go desperate because they don’t have enough good players to play at a normal high level, it’s that simple. You can only play desperate for so long then the crash comes. Bank on it. TD Two Dogs: What do you think the odds are the Dez will make a real contribution for the Cowboys this season? I know they don’t like admitting when their wrong, but isn’t this guy a bust, or at least isn’t going to make first round value? Butch Cleburne Butch: There always has been and always will be a direct correlation between immaturity, maturity, effort, responsibility, and production. The only one Dez doesn’t suffer from is the maturity one, that’s because he completely ignores it. And while he’s doing a fine job being Dez, that’s not translating over into doing a fine job for the Cowboys. The question I think that’s hanging out there is, why’s it taking him so long to learn the playbook and make functional use of it on the field? While the Cowboys aren’t willing to dance with this subject, I found some tailgaters more than willing and they think he doesn’t have enough sparkplugs firing between his ears, and the ones he does have are slightly rusted. While not scientific, I think it gives the general feeling of what most think Dez’s contri-

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butions are going to be.

: TheHardScore : TheHardScore : TheHardScore :

TD Two Dogs: Is there any chance that Randy Moss will get back into the NFL? If he does, will teams be interested in Terrell Owens, too? Aren’t both these guys just too big a threat to locker rooms? Both sat out last year as nobody wanted them. In Moss’s last year on the field he was with three teams and a growing nightmare with each. Owens had knee surgery and is physically ready, probably more so than Moss, but nobody wants their teams blown up. Except maybe the Jets. Ha Ha. I think they need to stay away. Al Dallas Al: It’s always this, what you have versus what you want. It’s why you can still find a craps game in any city you go to, and pray the dice aren’t loaded. Are either of them willing to be utility players? I doubt it, their egos don’t work that way. Most bad teams might be willing to take a chance, but then, that’s why they’re bad teams. I doubt if Belichick wants Moss back with the Patriots because even he knows he has to have fast and healthy young receivers that can stretch the field. I don’t think it’s smart, but I won’t be surprised if there’s teams out there willing to give each a shot. TD Two Dogs: Is the NCAA going to give UCONN back the 2013 season? They were banned from tournament play but they are giving the NCAA a full court press to have the penalty reduced and tourney play reinstated. I’m sorry Calhoun’s having medical problems but it was his decisions that violated the regulations. Besides, they aren’t offering really anything up to get the tourney back, it’s a joke. Their only argument is that the current players are suffering for past misdeeds and it isn’t fair to them. Hey, then the coaches shouldn’t have done this to them. Jay Kansas City

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Jay: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. The arrogance of big powerhouse schools gets them into these problems and gets them to think they can offer a token to get back a treasure. Ohio State just tried it in football and didn’t get away with it, and UCONN isn’t going to get it back for their basketball program. TD Two Dogs: With (Chauncey) Billups out for the remainder of the season with a torn Achilles, what happens to the Clippers? My boyfriend says he was too old and slow and the Clipper Ship will sail on without any problems. I want another opinion. Dora Lubbock Dora: Well, it didn’t handcuff them but it didn’t do them any favors either. He’s a five time All-Star and was a major reason the LAC got it together with new teammates early this season. People think it’s been all Chris Paul throwing loft balls for Griffin to dunk, but Billups was the stabilizing presence keeping things calm. The difference might not show itself during the regular season, I think where he’ll really be missed is in the playoffs. TD

Two Dogs: Does anybody have a chance at taking out Kentucky? They’re knocking off everybody and without breaking a sweat. Usually the SEC is a powerhouse in football and just passes unnoticed in basketball.

sure like either Missouri or Kansas to take them straight on. North Carolina and Duke are used to being on the big stage and in tough games so they have a better than average chance. But the best, probably Syracuse. Their offense works off their defense which has a deceptive way of strangling you to death before you know your choking. TD

Two Dogs: I don’t think the Bears did enough house cleaning, they should have cut Lovie Smith too, but at least they were smart when they brought in Jeremy Bates as the new QB coach under promoted OC Mike Tice. I don’t think Tice should’ve been promoted up, he didn’t do well when he was head coach for the Vikings. But they’ll at least work with the offense line to protect Cutler better than that idiot Martz was doing. Traylor Addison Traylor: I think you’re right. Bates helped Cutler reach his most productive years as a pro with Denver, and in 2008 he threw for 4,526 yards with Bates. Now we get to see if Chicago will beef up his offensive line and get some good receivers. TD Two Dogs: Can, or will, Melo and Amar‘e get along with Lin? Once they tag him and keep taking the ball from him, he’s not going to be as useful and he goes back to the bench. Those two are ruining the team and he’s been building it. Loren Hampton Heights

cess this season because of Melo and Amar’e not being able to figure it out. Both want to be THE MAN instead of leading a team. Lin got the team playing together because they got to play basketball instead of ego ball. That simple and that tough. Lin’s ego won’t be a problem, he’s a Steve Nash kinda guy, meaning he’s a true point guard. Melo’s gonna be an issue because Lin will look to set up the play as opposed to being the ball nanny. If you thought the Jets were a public nuisance, wait’ll you watch these seams come apart. TD Two Dogs: I heard Dwight Howard now wants to be The Closer for the Magic. Is he serious? The guy’s ruined the team. Everybody knows he doesn’t want to be there. And now he’s figured his trade value is better if he’s also known as a closer, so he wants the Magic to give that to him. What a punk. Where do you think he lands? Marin Longview Marin: Well, by saying he has been denied the ball at the end of games is challenging Van Gundy as coach, and adds to the crap he’s already piled on his teammates. Look, what’re they supposed to do? Howards a 49% free throw shooter, so if you give him the ball at the end of a game the opponent fouls him because he can’t make the shots. If you give the ball to a better FT then it changes the defenders tactics. I don’t know where he goes I just hope it isn’t here to the Mav’s. TD

Two Dogs: Loren: Contador gets to compete at the Tour Well, right now there are a couple of de France this year. dozen teams that wish they had the Knicks problem. Why? Because Lin’s Vernon: J’al been allowed to roam without either Well, first off you have to give credit Dallas of the two far overpriced stars. Amar’e to their coach, Calipari, who if locked is back and Melo soon will be. What’s in solitary confinement could build J’al: being touted is that Lin runs the pick a team out of passing ants. Part of it and roll, which is D’Antoni’s favoris he doesn’t have much competition No, he doesn’t. He forfeits the 2010 TdF ite part of his system, and that both inside the SEC, maybe Florida (14). So, title to Andy Schleck, and is out this Anthony and Stoudemire like to use yeah, I think they’re vulnerable and year. it. My opinion is that may very well be we’ll see it during March Madness. I’m not sure if Ohio State or Michigan State true for Amar’e but it’s sure not true of TD ‘Melo. The Knicks haven’t had any sucare up for it, but will fight well. I for Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly www.METROANE.com Page 9 Vernon Austin


orilla gadgets odd : cool : interesting : insane stuff!

Where do you keep your Plasma Screen? The Original Underbed Lift® Hide up to a 65” panel under a King size bed, requires only 8.75” of clearance , deploys in under 35 seconds. Rotation allows for viewing from multiple locations within the room. The Underbed Lift® from MK I Studio is the original. We invented the concept and have been refining it for almost a decade. A 50” panel with Amplifiers, DVD, VCR, Subwoofer, and 7 channels of surround

Tesla Motors Model X brings in a new chapter of eco-friendly luxury autos Ever since Tesla Motors had released news of the launch of their luxury sedans, all eyes from the auto world was on the company, to produce something that perhaps most would like to have. The answer to that is the latest Model X MUV instead, which derives its power from an eco-friendly electric power based engine. For those wondering that the vehicle would compromise on its tech features and luxury amenities, might want to think again as most of the features would match and rather exceed those with conventional

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can be concealed beneath a King size bed and a 42” panel and all the same equipment can be concealed under a Queen size bed. Both only take 35 seconds to deploy. The Underbed Lift® gives you the freedom to decorate any way you desire without having an entertainment center or cabinet as the main focal point. It also won’t take up your floor space or block the view out of windows and doors.

www.mk1studio.com

engines. Designing features like the aerodynamic body, and the ‘Falcon wing’ rear doors, the Model X brings in an eco-friendly answer to every high earning suburban family. Amongst most new features in the car, the face-lifted power train has been

the most interesting. Extending from near the front wheels to the rear end, it gives individualized sources of power to all the wheels, which ensures higher speeds and greater power output of the car (0-100 km/ph in less than 5 seconds). Also due to this new design, the

Cranial Visions is a coffee table book published by Memento Publishing that is 8 inches wide by 12 inches tall, all 240 pages are printed in full color, featuring 258 artists with over 800 photos!!!

theme. A spellbinding journey told through chromatically brilliant photos and words; this book is sure to awaken the mind and senses...

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The fascinating and grim history of the skull has been a forceful subject matter throughout the ages. Maintaining prominence in the scientific and medical fields, it is also commonly interpreted through artistic endeavors, tracing back as far as creative collections have been recorded. This book features an immense volume of work which highlights the skull in all sorts of mediums, bringing together artists and works from all walks of life. Readers are invited to explore the fascinating and macabre world of the cranium-cetered spaciousness inside the car is fairly noticeable with the capacity to pack in 7 adults plus their luggage in the 3 rows of seats within the vehicle. With a centralized control panel, where most of the functions are monitored closely, make the operating of the car surprisingly easy. This means rough terrain driving will never be an issue on this all-wheel drive MUV. Also, since the backseat is where the kids of the family generally are seated, special care has been taken to ensure a stronger panel which can resist greater impact during accidents.

book from models which have different specifications in terms of distance covered by a single charge of battery; 160 miles, 230 miles, and 300 miles. The price tag would then vary depending upon this factor, but shall fall between $50,000100,000 apart from the applicable taxes. For those that may be a bit surprised about the price tag, do note that the company has already sold out its first production run, and shall only open its booking counters next year.

Bruce Campbell’s Ride

Other notable additions on the MUV include the touchscreen GPS navigation system, and the parking cameras which are extremely useful during driving in packed spaces. Perhaps this is the reason, why one wouldn’t find a rear view mirror on the car, which is otherwise a standard feature on most cars. In terms of options, buyers can

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Page 10


The Wild Berry opened its doors in September of 1971 as a leather shop. Marc Biales was the propri-

time we developed a very special way of making incense using more intense, higher quality fragrances. Customers from all over began calling to order our incense, as well as other retailers pleading with us to sell it to them. Responding to these demands in 1992 we developed a merchandising system for retailers, and began to sell our incense

Good Earth™, Green Apple, Harmony, Havana Blue, Herbal Mist™, Honeysuckle, India Moon™, Isis™, Jasmine, Latin Lover™, Lavender, Lemon, Lemon Citronella, Lilac, Madagascar Spice ™, Magic Garden™, Melon, Misty Mountain™, Mountain Heather™, Mulberry, Musk, Myrrh, MysteriosaTM, Night Queen, Nirvana™, Ocean Wind, Opium (type), Orange, Oriental Charm™, Patchouli, Peace

in the store. As time passed we added other hand made goods, lifestyle items, jewelry, candy by the scoop, t-shirts, imported clothing, greeting cards, and all sorts of unusual effects. Eventually our shop blossomed into one of Oxford, Ohio’s most beloved and unique establishments. It is our policy to offer only creative and uncommon merchandise.

to them for their stores. Incense, sticks, cones, shorties, and oils: Amber, Aphrodisia™, Arabian Night™, Aromatic Teakwood™, Awapuhi, Bayberry, Blend 22™, Cactus Blossom, Candy Cane, Carmen Miranda’s Hat™, Champa Flower™, Cherry, Cherry Vanilla, China Rain, Christmas Kiss™, Cinnamon, Clove, Coconut, Copal, Cranberry, Desert Sage™, Dragon’s Blood, Egyptian Cotton™, Eucalyptus, Evergreen, Fairy Dust™, Fantasia™, Fiesta LimeTM, Fizzy Pop™, Forest Dew™, Frankincense, Fresh Rain, Gingerbread,

Of Mind™, Peach, Pear Vanilla, Pink Carnation, Pinon, Polo Crest (type), Pomander, Pomegranate, Pounding Surf™, Queen of the Nile™, Raspberry Rose, Root Beer, Rose, Rugged LeatherTM, Sandalwood, Sensuality, Simmering Cider, Sky, Strawberry, Summer Day™, Sunshine, Tibetan Orchid™, Tranquility , Vanilla, Virgin WoodsTM, Yin Yang ™, and Zen™

etor, and is still President of the company. Originally, the leather goods and incense being sold were made by hand

Our hand made Wild Berry Incense has always been very popular, and over

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Wild Berry Incense can be found at Big Mike’s House of Glass.

Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

If you are picking up some of the Wild Berry Incense or oils at

BIG MIKE’s

you’ve also come to the right place for beautifully crafted greeting cards that feature original artwork by outstanding independent artists from across the country and around the world. Leanin’ Tree’s product mission for more than 50 years has remained unchanged: To bring the best in art and words together in a way that touches your heart. This simple mission is accomplished with a lot of hard, yet fun, work. Leanin’ Tree is about transforming a simple piece of paper into something magnificent that brightens your day, lifts your heart, or makes you smile. All in all, it’s pretty straightforward and “down to earth”. And that’s the way we like it. Get to BIG MIKE’s for you Card Giving Needs Or Just Collect these Beauties.

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Voted America’s #1 Adult Weekly

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Voracious new vampire porn web series starring Lea Lexis, Bibi Noel, Brooklyn Lee, Zorah White and real life sisters Sandra & Alice Romain. John Stagliano from Buttman’s choice magazine is directing this new Evil Angel series. Voracious is debut on Valentine’s Day February 14th, 2012 inside the member’s area of Evil Angel. Get your Evil Angel network pass at http://www.evilangel.com & prepare for a hunger that will never die and access to the premiere!

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“.....orders through the roof. WOW. THANKS METRO ANE! Dallas/Fort Worth METRO Area we love you.”

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AtoZed Photography

9.

www.facebook.com/AtoZedPhoto I am a portrait photographer. That is my chosen specialty. There’s something wonderful about capturing a face. I love it. I live and work in the artist’s community of Deep Ellum in East Dallas. I am currently only doing sporadic shoots as I’m also kicking breast cancer out of my life. Please be understanding about my limited schedule.

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I am always looking to work with new faces. What matters most is that you show up, on time and ready to work. I shoot quickly. I won’t waste your day. If your looking for portraits, I’m your gal. As always,

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1. Amber Campagna - Deep Ellum artist 2. Amber Deville - local model, performer and emcee 3. “Bootie”from a Viva show at the Lakewood 4. Chris Breland, lead singer of local band Black Habits 5. Captain Maggot: a member of Emilie Autumn’s band 6. Emilie Autumn: musician, author, artist 7. Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed 15. 8. Jamie Mahood: Local tattoo artist 9. Kali Ann: Local piercer 10. RJband1 and RJBand2 band shots of Dallas’ most hated punk band, Responsible Johnny. I have been working with these guys for years and I’m honoured to consider them family. 11. Rocky - Local bartender 12. Kaia- Local make up artist and model 13. Ivory Noire- local model, performer 14. Krissie Darlin’ (Paging Bettie Productions) and Fuser L’Via Local models, performers 15. Vivienne Vermuth- Local make up artist, producer, model, performer

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METRO ANE 02.15.2012