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winter 2009/2010 issue issu issue e 66

win winter 2009/2010 ter 200 9/2010


messy magazine is an online, theme inspired publication focusing on the creative community in, around, and outside of Cleveland, distributed from Cleveland. We showcase literary work, art, music, film, photography, DIY, you name it. messy magazine is a submission based publication. We welcome submissions, thrive on submissions, and are comprised of submissions. Without you, what do we have? Just some bare pages. And what’s so entertaining about bare pages? Nothing. All joking aside, we’d be happy to see and promote your work. We promise to pass them along and spread the word. And send some jokes. Everyone always needs a new joke. messy magazine is Vanessa Aron, Lauren Kirk, Genna Petrolla and Michael Stidham. Ownership and copyright is that of the artist submitting. All reproduction rights are that of messy magazine. No reproduction in full or partial permitted without written prior consent of messy magazine. All content © Copyright messy magazine, 2010.


0 1 ' n a j l a i r o t edi welcome to issue 6 Mike- Hey Messy, how’s it hangin?

Messy- I’m pretty good. No complaints. Mike- It doesn’t do you any good anyhow right? Messy- Hehe, yea. Mike- Yea... yea. Messy- ... Mike- So uh, what’s uh, what’s new? Messy- Not much, just turned one last month.

Mike- What’s Porchfest? Messy- Righteousness, that’s what it is. Local performers hang out on people’s porches over on Larchmere. It’s like chatting with your cool ass neighbor while they play the guitar for you. It’s personal, it’s intimate, I rocks. But I mean, maybe it was just too cool for you. Too cool for you to know about. Mike- Outside of my coolness jurisdiction huh? Messy- Just a lil bit. Plus you don’t recycle. That’s like, anti-cool. Like the polar opposite to the basic principles of coolnessism. Mike- Gotcha, all the cool kids recycle. So what else have you done this year youngin’?

Mike- Really? I would’ve thought you’d be older than Messy- Well I was kind of a media sponsor for this one one. You look so mature. event. It was pretty small. Just a teenie event. Just a short, kind of cult thing. You might’ve heard of it though. Messy- Yea, I get that a lot. Thanks. You know, pretty insignifi... Mike- Wow, so how’s it been? This whole first year Mike- Alright, I get it. Cut the suspense, you want me thing? to ask “what tiny event could you possibly be talking Messy- Pretty damn good I’ve got to tell ya abou... Mike- Damn good huh? Strong words for a one year Messy- The Cleveland International Film Festival!!! old. Mike- Wha huh?! Messy- Well when you consider all that I’ve accomplished Messy- Hell yea brother! My name was up on the big this year screen and everything!!! *relaxes* It’s cool though. Mike- Try me No big deal. Nothin special. I’m just a movie star now. That’s all. Messy- I had a table at Porchfest


Mike- And not one of those big shiny coked-out Hollywood Mike- Obviously. movie stars either Messy- BUT, we must remember that I did all of that in a Messy- Oh no, I’m an independent film star. An single year, just wait and see what I do in 2010. international festival caliber, international film star. I’m all down to earth and humble, yet provocative and Mike- What if I can’t wait? What if I need it now? Like... right now? deep. Messy- Well that’s just too. Damn. Bad. Just keep Mike- Wow dude. Can I get your autograph? watching. It will come. Messy- Hell no. Mike- *Drops hear and stares at feet. Kicks the ground Mike- Damn. So what else? I’m hooked now. I need to just a little out of nervousness* I... I love you Messy Magazine know. Messy- I’ve also show cased some of the best literary Messy- I love you too reader. I love you too. and visiual work the fair city of Cleveland and other U.S. cities has to offer. *sighs and buffs fingernails on shirt* Mike- I’ve heard that. You’ve got some serious writing the editors of messy magazine, going on. genna, lauren, vanessa and michael Messy- Yea, and featured some fine Cleveland music, art, crafts, you know, the cool stuff. The stuff that cool people find to be, you know, cool. Mike- I heard you even featured beer reviews. How much cooler can you get? Messy- You’d think I couldn’t get much cooler, like I’m at the apex of my coolness


side 1

... in 2010

Dirty Proectors/David Byrne: Knotty Pine Yo La Tengo: Here to Fall Tortoise: Yingxianghechengqi Little Boots: Remedy Avett Brothers: Slight Figure of Speech Neon Indian: Deadbeat Summer Architecture in Helsinki: That Beep Mystery of Two: French Rocking Horse Camera Obscura: French Navy Florence and the Machine: Drummer Song

Soulsavers: Some Misunderstanding Lady Gaga: Bad Romance JJ magazine: Simplicity Mos Def: Auditorium Raveonettes: Suicide Ida Maria: Oh My God Real Estate: Fake Blues Cymbals Eat Guitars: Some Trees


the mixtape Empire of the Sun: Walking on a Dream Other Girls: Gem City St. Vincent: Marrow Dirty projectors: Cannibal Resource Bad Veins: Gold and Warm Junior Boys: Hazel Neko Case: I’m an animal Atlas Sound: Walkabout Jarvis Cocker: Angela Yacht: Psychic City

side 2

Bat for Lashes: Daniel XX: Stars Lily Allen: Never Gonna Happen (Doctor Rosen Rosen Remix) Walkmen: Red Moon Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros: Home The Mountains and The Trees: Up and Down The Dead Weather: I Cut Like a Buffalo Pink Mountaintops: Execution


2009:

yours' and ours' years' in reviews'


Marlene Trzaska In 2009 I tried to live in the moment. My moments consisted of flying to ireland and sining in the pubs, driving to florida to visit family and float in the ocean. Playing Volley ball with shoes screeching on the gym floors or sand pouring through my toes. It consisted on liquid courage in my hand at Twilight at the zoo, house parties, dace clubs, pub crawls, nights at whiskey island, checking out The Bridge Project or to shout out at the CAVS game. I reached back to my youth with Roller skating lessons, Art parties, pumpkin carving, becoming obsessed with Cherry Smoothies and Bike Rides! I danced, threw my body into others, jumped and sang at the Bouncing souls, 311, The Presets and other Concerts. I said Hello to Old Friends and gave strong sad hugs to friends to left for a new adventure with good luck and safety following them from my heart on the wind. I got excited wear masks at the Monster’s games, handing out “nice towels” at the browns game, and wearing the Ace Of Hearts costume to parties at Bars, the penthouse, houses, and at trick or treating with my friends where they chased kids with safe chainsaws. I got serious with my 2nd Suicide Prevention walk and finding more Thai restaurants - Mint Cafe was a New one! This is only a fraction of Moments that made 2009.

jeff caesar This year has been an excited one to say the least for me. For half of my year, I was with NCLA Stationed in Hawaii and thought life couldn’t get any better. I was so wrong because in June, my world got turned upside down. I joined NCL International and began a adventure traveling around all of Europe. Visiting places like Cairo, Venice, Santorini, Constanta, Istanbul, Barcelona, and so many more places. My eyes opened up to so many experiences and friends from all different walks of life. My job itself becoming more fulfilling whereas I didn’t want my contract to end. That in itself made my 2009 so amazing and I know I will not forget my highlights form this year for the rest of my life.

Amelia Zatik Sawyer 2 things happened to me (us) this year that we will never forget:

1. We opened our restaurant. The Greenhouse Tavern 2. My kids didn’t lose their minds and actually smiled when they met Santa.


Michael V. Stidham 1) I heard a student tell me “We can’t loose you Mr. Stidham, you’re the best teacher we’ve got”. 2) I got my first apartment around the corner from Coventry. I realized two things within the first month. 1, this apartment is no where near what I expected. 2, Coventry is NOT what it used to be. 3) My two best friends still aren’t speaking to each other. This has effected me more than either could know. 4) I’m slowly becoming a hermit. I find myself having little or nothing clever or interesting to say in 95% of the conversations that I have.

11) My portfolio was accepted to the California College of Art and Design. 12) I think that I saw my father twice. 13) I might have almost been a father. 14) I lost a lot of weight. I’m skinnier than I’ve ever been. And I fucking love it. 15) On average I’ve walked 1 to 4 miles at least 3 days a week. 16) I got my first tattoo, and I’m getting a lot more. My mom found out yesterday.

5) I have survived 17) My older brother got laid off. I want to cry every two of the worst time I think about it. weeks I’ve ever been witnessed to. 18) I’ve painted the two best pictures that I’ve ever painted and drew the best picture I’ve ever drawn. I 6) My oldest gave one of them to that girl. brother called me for the first time in 19) I paid off my delinquent electric bill. at least two years. 20) I voted for Barack Obama 7) I went to San Francisco. I stayed there for 5 days. 21) I didn’t watch a single football game. It changed my life. 8) I met a girl and fell in love. I’m waiting patiently for her to love me back.

22) I read 6 books. That’s 3 more than I read during my entire tenure at CSU.

9) I started smoking cigarettes again.

23) My iPod screen cracked.

10) Both of my art teachers told me “I love what you’re doing, and I want to help you to build a body of work. Next semester you can do whatever you want”.

24) I have about 11,400 songs on my computer. I never need to shop for music again. 25) I’m still kickin ass, I remain takin names.


lauren kirk I don't have much to say about 2009. I don't know why. It wasn't a terrible year. It wasn't a wonderful, rad, TOTALLY amazing year. It was just a year. I had a hard time turning 25 this year, turns out it didn't really matter. It's not that big of a deal. Yes, I am getting more pressure to get married, yes I feel like I need to DO more in my life, but 25 wasn't the year I feared or anticipated it to be. 2009 was just sort of there. A few key events: The Cavs lost the Eastern Conference Finals. My dreams were crushed. I have never gotten so many sympathy texts in my entire life. I went to Jamaica. Montego Bay. It was AMAZING. I cannot wait to go back. Hopefully sometime in 2011 this can happen. 2010 will be used for saving. Mike got laid off. It sucked. But it was a blessing in disguise because he got a job he really wanted and we got through the no work period unscathed. I decided to go back for my Master's. I spent a lot of time proclaiming that I wasn't going to go back. Ever. And I think I just figured it was time. And besides, I don't suppose there is ever such a thing as too much education. Grad school is definitely different than undergrad. It has been an experience and I only have one semester under my belt. I have been thinking about resolutions this week. Obviously, I am not the only one. I never make resolutions. I never keep them. I don't pretend to. And I don't like when people get all high and mighty about theirs then break them two months after being a total SNOB about how healthy they eat prior to that Big Mac they are shoving in their face. So I'm not making any. I just want 2010 to be a good year. A productive and happy year. I like my little life. And I'd like to keep that going. Lauren’s Book List of 2009 Mennonite in a Little Black DressRhoda Janzen Playing with the Grownups- Sophie Dahl Ala Cart-The Secret Lives of Grocery Shoppers-Hillary Canlip

A Theory of All Things-Peggy Leon Paranormal Great Lakes- Charles Cassady Jr. Middle Passage-Charles Johnson Say You’re One of Them-Uwem Akem


vanessa aron I don’t exactly have what my mom calls an ‘entertainment budget.’ Day-to-day I don’t do much save for running errands, which for some reason I have a ton of. I don’t drink that often, if I go out to eat it’s usually cheap Thai food. After the CIFF in March I haven’t stepped foot into a movie theater, so that’s no good either. Clearly if I base my year-end writeup on my constants: work, errands, sobriety, Thai food, and lack of movie watching, well this would be a pretty boring review.

to Orange County, for a flight which left at 6:00am (no pressure). We listened to this album all the way to the airport and every time I hear it now, this little speed bump in our schedules always comes to mind.

As for my so called ‘entertainment budget’ and my 2009, two things are constantly, consistent in my life; music and traveling. This year in particular, these two things seem to go hand in hand. So with all this rambling I’m going to give you my year in music, travel and check list cross-off review.

Yeah Yeah ‘It’s Blitz’

Yeahs:

A year in personal musical history.

I had the opportunity to see the Yeah Yeah Yeahs a few times this year. By far, they are one of my all time fav bands and have been since I first heard them in 2002. ‘It’s Blitz’ the bands most recent album was practically a soundtrack for my year.

Yacht: It’s Coming to Get You Yacht: Psychic City

Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Skeleton

I saw YACHT open for Chairlift at the Grog Shop in January. I had no idea who they were but I was blown away. It was by far one of my favorite shows of the year. I went alone, danced my face off and had a blast.

I saw them in Berlin (my first international concert) in May and had an awesome time. I can recall this night in May so clearly because it was so much fun and ended up being quite the story too. I went to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs show with friends of a friend who lives in Berlin. Our group consisted of two Germans, one American from NJ, one New Zealander, one Australian and myself. Needless to say, there was not a dull moment in conversation. Long story short, I yet again, found the tallest person in the venue and stood directly behind them; seems to be a common occurrence. We all went out for a nightcap after the show ended. Meanwhile, the metro line I needed to take closed down… But, thankfully the American who had to take the same line to get home, knew what hotel I was staying at. With a taxi being out of the question for expense reasons, he got me on a bus and proceeded to tell me where to take said bus and what stop I needed to get back to my hotel. The only problem was, he told

The Noissettes: ‘Wild Young Hearts’ This past Labor Day I drove, well sat in the passenger seat, down the coast (most of it, anyway) of California with my good friend Mindy. We ended in Los Angeles where we hung around for a few days going to the beach and shopping. Well, when it came time to leave, I may* have screwed up some flight information causing a minor* schedule change which allowed me to stay an extra day in Los Angeles. After a verbal reprimand from the nice lady at the Continental desk who thankfully did not charge me a one way ticket for my mess up, I found myself on the 101 highway at 4:00am with my brother driving


me the stop in German-German, not American-German which I would understand. So there I was at 3am in Berlin, on a bus scattered with people, clueless to my whereabouts. I eventually got off the bus, in the correct location and jogged to my hotel, whereupon I failed to successfully open the door to my room because the key or the lock was broken. Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Runaway, Histeric

cities, but never in hometowns. When the opportunity came up, I went, I laughed, I tried mussels afterwards and hated them, and went to the Velvet Tango Room for the first time… all in one night. I accidently killed a squirrel while riding my bike. And the odd thing was I was making a conscience decision to ride my bike for an errand and not drive. Sorry lil’ guy.

I attended my first Rave! I know, I know, raves aren’t In 2009 I finally crossed ‘musical festival’ off my list and exactly underground anymore. But I did see Tiesto when went to Lollapalooze in Chicago. It was so much fun and he came to Cleveland. It was fun…it was a learning unbearably hot at the same time. I saw a TON of great experience too. acts and yet again, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. When I hear both of these songs I always think about standing in sea I spent my Third of July listening to the Boston Pops on the side of a river and my Fourth of July in a cab with of sweaty people on a clear summer night. a driver who told my friend and I upon getting lost via a Passion Pit: ‘EP’, ‘Manners’ detour: ‘I don’t know how to get there, I never drive in this city!’ UMM YEA. My friend Jeff and I saw Passion Pit (whom I interviewed for the Jan ‘09 issue of Messy Magazine) at THE SPOT I realized I will never get tired of listening to Bat For at Case Western. I remember being so sure the show Lashes, ever. would be cancelled that day due to a blizzard. Well it wasn’t and we went. I remember driving down I90, with I got a haircut and shed what looked like a Peter Frampton very few cars on the road. Then when we arrived at Case wig. Best decision of the year. we were unable to find a parking space. So strange. Datarock: ‘Red’ This oddly, is a not so great memory. I saw Datarock at the Grog Shop sometime over the Summer or Fall. I was supposed to review their show and snap some photos. Well I don’t know if I was in a bad mood or the vibe was just ‘off’ as they say, but I did not enjoy the show at all. Perhaps because I was alone… but now I can never listen to that album without feeling like a sudden headache and am forced to immediately change songs. Sorry, Datarock.

Other stuff: I have finally attended a comedy show in Cleveland. This seems like the thing that is always done while in different


What I did during my 28th year vacation // genna p Let’s see here. I can barely remember yesterday, but I will try very hard to pick out some of my favorite memories from 2009. I can tell you that I went the gym at least 6 times in 365 ¼ days. (I’m waiting for a wing to be named after me at the YMCA, considering a fact that I donate so much money to them). So, in no particular order, and without knowing if any of these things actually really happened or If I was just dreaming, I present to you, my 2009 year in review. These are in no particular order, chronological or otherwise. Also, as an added bonus, I have added a little list of goals for 2010. Don’t call them resolutions… 1) Milwaukee. I visited Milwaukee in March for the second annual Great Lakes Urban Exchange conference. (learn more about GLUE here: http://gluespace.org. Not only did I get to sleep in a great big bed in a hotel room with a fabulous view of the city, I also visited Growing Power, the historic Third Ward, a bar called Frank ‘n’ Stein that serves hot dogs and beer (get it?) and met some really freaking amazing people.

3) Larchmere Porchfest.

So, a few friends and I worked on an event last summer. Modeled after a small music festival in Ithaca New York, Porchfest was a free event featuring local bands and musicians performing on front porches in the Larchmere neighborhood of Shaker Square. There was even a grand finale concert featuring some of my personal favorites: JJ 2) New apartment. Magazine, the Other Girls and Good Morning Valentine. Though I like to call myself a ‘both-sider,’ six months ago i Hundreds of people turned out to support local musicians, settled in a little west side neighborhood that you may have explore the neighborhood and visit the many shops and heard a few things about- Detroit Shoreway. I’m currently in restaurants along the way. It was so much fun presenting walking distance to the lake, the Capitol Theatre, Cleveland our idea and watching it become a reality. Special thanks Public Theatre and a whole host of other restaurants and to all of our sponsors and donors including the Cleveland shops… not to mention the fact that I am now live amongst Colectivo and Neighborhood Connections. We even won my people (as evidenced by the Italian flags painted on the an award for ‘Excellence in Neighborhood Marketing’ from EVERYTHING and Virgin Mary statues in every yard). Also, LiveCLEVELAND. Stay tuned for more information on I have dimmer switches in every room, a dream of mine Larchmere Porchfest 2010! http://larchmereporchfest.com. since I was a little girl. Since I have decided to measure my 4) Tim Fite wore my clothes on stage. success in life with how close I live to the water, I’d say I’m I met Tim Fite in 2008 when he opened for Man Man at the almost there. Grog Shop. We became instant friends and he even licked me. On the face. Twice. I saw him again in 2009 and in


addition to more face licking, he took my purse and scarf, applied them to his body and wore them on stage at the Beachland Tavern. I don’t really remember how, but I also gave him my phone number. I’m pretty sure that makes us best friends.

given disposable cameras and asked to photograph our fair city- though out eyes. It was interesting to see everyone’s interpretation of the assignment. It was also difficult to shoot things with a disposable camera, since digital photography has spoiled even amateur photographers like me. The concept was awesome and it was fun to be a part of this 5) The Cleveland International Film Festival. awesome event. I’m sad to hear that Dave D. and low life I was sitting at Dewey’s Coffee on Shaker Square when my are leaving us- but I would like to just thank him for his great friend, who does marketing for the Film Festival asked if ideas and the great shows, including ‘This is Cleveland.’ messy magazine would like to be a media sponsor. I pretty 8) Some of my favorite records… much freaked out. I think at that time we had one issue out. We agreed and the rest is history. messy was on the I promise I won’t say Grizzly Bear- although I did like big screen. We sponsored a film called ‘An Alternative to Veckatimest. Let’s see- in no particular order, these are Slitting Your Wrist’ which was so popular they needed to add some of my faves from 2009: Other Girls, Perfect Cities; JJ showings. I went to more movies in 10 days then I can even Magazine, Dinner; St. Vincent, Actor (I will make Annie Clark remember. Oh- and I had a role in the trailer, which was kind my best friend, I will); Mystery of Two, S/T; Atlas Sound, of funny. After the closing film (‘The Brothers Bloom,’ starring Logos; Dirty Projectors, Bitte Orca; Jarvis Cocker, Further one of my ex-boyfriends, Adrien Brody) I admit that I couldn’t Complications (well, he is my husband); Neon Indian, go to the movies for awhile. But this year’s festival is just Psychic Chasms; Neko Case, Middle Cyclone; Junior Boys, around the corner- and we are excited to be a part of it. Begone Dull Care; Camera Obscura, My Maudlin Career; http://clevelandfilm.org Ida Maria, Fortress Round My Heart (because there are like four very possible genna p theme songs on it), Florence + 6) SPACES. the Machine, Lungs; Bill Callahan, Sometimes I Wish We I don’t know how it happened. I went from being a volunteer Were an Eagle (is it possible to have two husbands?) to a board member. I got to wear fish on my head during this years’ benefit. And I have gotten to know the people that make SPACES what it is- a unique place with an interesting history that challenges artists and non-artists alike. SPACES gallery is the place that creates and feeds the dialogue about contemporary art in our region. It’s a very special place to me. With not-so-new executive director Christopher Lynn at the helm, SPACES is in very good hands. If you aren’t a member or if you haven’t been to his great place, please visit http:spacesgallery.org to learn more. I don’t know what else I can say- I felt kind of put off by the art community in the last place I lived- but here, I was welcomed with open arms. Thank you SPACES for your innovative programming and the opportunity to work with you.

7) This is Cleveland: All the Stuff I See In June, I was one of the 30 people to be featured in a photo exhibition at Low Life Gallery on Waterloo. We were all

9) A New Crush… It’s true. I am in love with Lady Gaga. I don’t want to make out with her or anything, but I think she is a marketing genius. Plus, I am so way totally jealous of her outfits. I doubt I could get away with head to toe red lace at the office, but her outlandish dressing and crazy videos are a breath of fresh air. Just don’t turn up the music- it’s catchy but nauseates me in large doses. Ga ga, ooh la la, indeed.

10) The Happy Dog I love Eric Williams. To be completely honest, I owe him big time for introducing me to all of the cool people in the food biz in Cleveland. But when he told me he wanted to own a bar that serves only hot dogs with gourmet toppings, I laughed in his face. Well, look whose laughing now. Williams joined on as partner at the Happy Dog in my beloved neighborhood and has seen some mad success since October. The Happy


Dog has kept its great throwback/corner bar feel, and I have gotten fatter by spending all of my disposable income on beer, hot dogs with smoked gouda, nueske bacon and a fried egg on top. Oh- and don’t forget the side of tater tots with cheez whiz and Marcella’s grape jelly and chile sauce. Total yum-fest.

11) I got to hug Bradford Cox… again. It all started in 2007. I hugged Bradford Cox in Chicago after Pitchfork and then hugged him again the next night at the

throwdowns knows that I am, in fact, a fan of sparklers). Well, all of that changed this year. As I mentioned a few hundred times earlier, I moved into a new apartment this past summer. Said apartment happens to also be in a war zone. Fireworks start at the beginning of June and I’m pretty sure they are still happening. I had a few friends over on the 4th and we literally ran around the neighborhood dodging fireworks and witnessing the spectacle. It was one of the most exciting nights of the entire summer. I even have a little token to remember my first my first Fourth of July in the hood- a red plastic cone from the top of some sort of exploding rocket thing that landed on my back patio. I can’t wait until next year!

13) The internet is not for dating. This one is pretty self explanatory. It’s very easy to see a picture of someone and type words back and forth and think that you like them when really what you like is just some cyber version of them- or something that you think that they might be. Also, everyone is cool on the internet. Being cool in real life? Yeah. That takes guts. I would know. Ha.

And now, for 2010… -I am going to read more. Like lots more. Like whole books instead of halves and thirds of them. -I am going to actually write in my blog. -I am getting a tattoo. (Sorry, Mom). -I am going to turn things in on time. Grog Shop in Cleveland. (I was wearing a Deerhunter tshirt, which was kind of a joke, but kind of not- either way, I looked dorky, but the hug still took place). Since then, I make it a point to hug Bradford Cox every time he comes to town. This time, the yearly hug took place at the Spot on the CWRU campus. Christmas ale was $1.50 and the Founding Fathers opened. It was pretty much a dream come true.

12) Fourth of July.

-I am (thinking of) going back to school. I miss learning in a structured environment. Also, I think I have more to offer then I did when I started grad school the first time. -I am going to eat more vegetables. -I am going to make an effort to communicate with people in more meaningful ways (read: not facebook). -I am going to become a better cook/speller/cyclist/person. -I am going to start my all-girl Cars cover band.

I’m not exactly what you would call a rah-rah American girl. Thanks for a great year! I helped organize a protest against W in 2005. I hate Toby Keith. I drive a Honda. I am kind of afraid of fireworks (but xo anyone who has been to one of my infamous Memorial Day gp


My, What a Big [

Featuring Microsc

by genna p

January 29-31, 2010 // Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm // Sundays at 3:00pm James Levin Theatre // Tickets: General Admission $15 // Students and Seniors $12 For more information on Big [BOX] or upcoming CPT productions, please visit www.cptonline.org or call 216.631.2727.


Imagine getting the space and time to create your very own show at Cleveland Public Theatre. Over the course of several weeks, artists are given the keys to the theatre for one week and left alone. The outcome is incredible and the creativity on display during the Bix [Box] run every year is something special to behold. Cleveland Public Theatre’s award-winning artists-in-residency program returns with promising new work in theatre, dance, poetry and performance art. On the bill during Big [Box] 10 is an interesting collaborative project entitled Microscopes & Megaphones, presented by Whisper to a Scream, a feminist performance art collective whose mission is to use art, awareness, action and advocacy to help eradicate the barriers that keep women from being recognized as full, autonomous human beings in society. Whisper to a Scream is proud to make its debut with Cleveland Public Theatre.

Microscopes & Megaphones “It is the little things. Sweat the small stuff. The devil indeed is in the detail.”

[BOX] You Have!

copes & Megaphones

Microscopes & Megaphones is a collaborative project that uses dance, theatre, audio and visual arts to explore "the problem that has no name" plaguing the modern woman today. With progress made in reproductive choice, education, the workplace and at home, the modern Western woman's oppression manifests itself through subtlety, innuendo and the places you least expect.

Offbeat and stripped down, Microscopes & Megaphones explores slutty fat girls, an oral sex memoir, baking as foreplay, the power of punctuations, the hypocrisy of language, degrees of touch and why Mom is the sexiest woman you know. Featuring works from new and established artists. Directed by Maura Haas.


Open letter:

Dear Community Leaders, Entrepreneurs, Public Officials, Artists, Thinkers, and friends of the city of Cleveland; We are asking for your leadership and support for the 1st annual Brite Winter Festival in Cleveland, which will be held on Saturday, February 26, 2010, from 5:00 until 10:00pm at Hart Crane Park in the Flats. The Brite Winter Festival brings together Cleveland's vibrant communities to enjoy our winter landscape. The Winter festival gives Clevelanders a reason to celebrate, not hibernate, during the doldrums of winter. Fire, music, food, arts, and sports bring together diverse communities to rejoice in Cleveland, Winter, and our communities. This is the first annual Brite Winter Festival. The goal is to hold an annual festival that gets people out of the house and into our rich urban landscapes to have fun and meet new people. Such an event also acts as an economic stimulus for the surrounding neighborhood and businesses. We believe in Cleveland, and in the richness of the organizations in our community. Brite Winter offers opportunities for collaborations between organizations with diverse purposes: urban design, academia, arts and entertainment, local businesses, and economic development. By partnering with Pop Up City, the host of successful events such as Leap Night and the Bridge Project, we are building on past successes to create something new together. We invite you to lend your time, enthusiasm, and/or resources to building Brite Winter into an event that brightens our winter horizon. Please email us for more information on how to get involved. We know that these are tough times in Cleveland and around the country. Thank you for your time and consideration of our effort to make Cleveland the Best Location in the Nation year-round. Respectfully,

Jimmy Harris and Emily Hornack [Co-Chairs from CWRU] and Terry Schwarz [Co-Chair from Pop-Up City]


The Grass is Green Over Here As Well


Support System (left page)

The Sky is the Limit


Where are they now? (No, we’re not copying off of Cleveland magazine- even though some of our friends were in messy before they were in that glossy thing!) By genna p

When we started messy magazine, we wanted it to have a really loose format mostly made up of user submissions. However, we couldn’t help but notice all of the great creative and entrepreneurial minds in the 216- so we highlighted quite a few during 2009. If you are a new reader, you may have seen some of these guys in other publications around town- we’re happy to say that we talked to them before they were stars- (more like while they were stars but were certainly on the rise). Aw, heck. We’re just happy that these truly amazing folks graced our pages! In this issue, messy magazine checks in with Rachel Kacenjar of Cupcake & Cuddlebunny (featured in Issue 1: Mad at Monday); CLE Clothing Company (featured in Issue 2: Like it, Love it, Lose It) and Danielle Deboe of Room Service and Made in the 216 (featured in Issue 5: Emerge and See) Congrats to these hard working folks who have pushed the limits of creativity and business- and have done it right here in our own backyard. We wish you continued success- please remember us when you are famous! <3

Cupcake & Cuddlebunny I’ve always admired Rachel Kacenjar’s fearless style and wit- which is why I wanted to write about her for the inaugural issue of messy magazine. Rachel’s clothing line, Cupcake & Cuddlebunny, features hand-made retro-inspired couture, fabulous plus-sized vintage as well as jewelry, shoes and accessories. My favorite quote from Rachel’s feature was, “Fashion should not exclude people.” Cupcake & Cuddlebunny features clothing for ladies size 14-26. This fall, I had the opportunity to join up with some of my greatest friends, other CLEdiva ‘plump dumplings’ to model Rachel’s fall couture line. Her attention to detail and love of color really showed in the designs- fun, feminine pieces in a classic red/white/black color combination. These 10 one-of-a-kind pieces were inspired by 1950’s fashion. The use of ultra-modern fabrics brought the looks into the future- in a super hot, yet classic way. On September 12, during New York Fashion Week, Rachel was featured in the first annual Indie Plus Size Designer Trunk and Fashion Show at Re/Dress boutique in Brooklyn, NY. Joining Rachel/Cupcake & Cuddlebunny were two designers from Portland. Please check out Cupcake & Cuddlebunny and Re/Dress online. (Photos from the show courtesy of Re/Dress). http://cupcakeandcuddlebunny.com


C.L.E. Clothing Company

It’s pretty impossible to NOT run into someone wearing a t-shirt showing their Cleveland Pride these days. Most likely, those shirts have been purchased from our favorite Cleveland Supporters, C.L.E. Clothing Co. These guys (who, along with their shirts can be described as ‘independent, local and awesome’) have expanded their operation, added new designs and were even voted ‘Best of Cleveland’ by Cleveland Magazine. Check ‘em out and help CLE Clothing Co. spread Cleveland pride, one tshirt at a time! http://cleclothingco.com


Daniell Deboe- Room Service + Made in the 216 Where do we begin? Hmm. Danielle Deboe had a dream. Which she turned into a store. Which she turned into an event featuring local artists and designers. Which she turned into the coolest most awesome concept in Cleveland. Which landed her on many a morning talk show and, of course, as one of the Most Interesting People of 2010 in Cleveland Magazine. Now, I have known Danielle for a little while, and I can tell you she has always been one of my favorite people in the universe. Her store, Room Service, located in the Gordon Square Arts District is the perfect place to find well-designed, hip items for gift-givingor, in my case, stuff I buy and intend to give to people but end up keeping for myself. Danielle, Room Service and her â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Made in the 216â&#x20AC;&#x2122; event have become household terms in CLE. She is a one woman powerhouse and promoter of the good life and cool stuffmost of it made HERE in northeast Ohio. Thank you, Danielle, for your commitment to the 216, for your amazing creativity and for all of your hard work turning your dream (and ours!) into reality. Check out the Room Service blog for more info! http://blog.roomservicecleveland.com


All You Can Eat: a Buffet of Architectural Ideas for Cleveland By genna p In October of last year, (it sounds weird saying ‘last year since October really was only a few months ago) three young architects launched an aggressive marketing campaign featuring the words ‘All You Can Eat.’ But this was not a new promotion for the latest special at one of those weird restaurants where there are always creepy people hanging around loading their plates with cheesy potatoes. Nope- ‘All You Can Eat’ served up a different sort of heaping helping- architectural ideas for vacant land in the city of Cleveland.

ALL YOU CAN EAT

A POST PRODUCTION

A Buffet of Architectural Ideas for Cleveland

They opened the show to anyone with creative suggestions , and teamed up with various sponsors to curate an exhibition that filled the minds (and hearts) of local and regional folks alike with inspiration and faith in our fair city and the talent that exists within our borders.

“All You Can Eat is not intended to generate “shovel-ready” proposals but to instigate dialogue; it is a forum to encouragethe development of new concepts both aesthetic and programmatic. The organizers charge participants with being as outlandish and uncompromising as they can be.” –Call for entries


By showcasing some of the great design minds in our region, ‘All You Can Eat’ (AYCE) put the spotlight where it belongs: on those who refuse to accept the negative stereotypes of living in a ‘rust belt’ city and instead put the focus on the infinite possibilities for various sites around town.

“All You Can Eat posits that the city is of a high metabolic rate, burning through ideas faster than they can be ingested. In response it presents a binge of possible futures excessive in scale and exhaustive in scope, ideas both raw and cooked, half-baked and hair-brained.” -POST The result was a collection of entries that proposed some really exciting ideas- (a 2,000 foot bronze statue of Lebron James on Public Square, anyone? Or how about a facility that transforms trash into electricity?*) Most of all, the exhibition and the expert panelists who were brought into the mix reinforced a statement that echoes among many of the creative minds in the Cleveland region- we need to stop apologizing for our city. By encouraging creativity, we can keep the positive momentum going and take Cleveland into the future. The fields of architecture and design


in Cleveland are thriving because of people like Tedd Ferringer, Jeremy Smith and Michael Abrahamson, co-curators of AYCE and co-creators of POST, a journal of architecture in the Great Lakes region. An interview with these three masterminds is slated for our next issue- but we couldn’t let this one be posted without highlighting one of the most interesting and inspiring events of 2009. Stay tuned- and please check out a few highlights from the event, including project entries and video from the panel discussions at http:// postarchitecturejournal.wordpress. com

Cleveland stopped worrying about Chicago, Boston and New York and started to figure out what Cleveland is that would be a great boon for the city.” –Sally Levine, AIA, principal of Levine Architecture & Design, Ltd. and lecturer at Case Western Reserve University and Cleveland State University, AYCE panelist


The sounds with Foxy Shazam Photos by: Vanessa aron


Best Albums of 2009 20. Sonic Youth – The Eternal 19. DOOM – Born Like This 18. The Almighty Defenders- The Almighty Defenders 17. Smith Westerns – Smith Westerns 16. Reading Rainbow – Mystical Participation 15. God Help the Girl – God Help the Girl 14. Black Dice – Repo 13. Lightning Bolt – Earthly Delights 12. Wavves – Wavvves 11. Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix 10. Dirty Projectors – Bitte Orca 09. Girls – Album 08. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart 07. St. Vincent – Actor

music wrap up jonathon mei nhold

06. The Coathangers – Scramble 05. Future of the Left – Travels with Myself and Another 04. Camera Obscura – My Maudlin Career 03. An Horse – Rearrange Beds 02. Neko Case – Middle Cyclone 01. Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion


Honorable Mentions:

Best Songs of 2009

Bill Callahan – Sometimes I Wish I Were an Eagle

20. Bill Callahan – “Too Many Birds” – Sometimes I Wish I Were an Eagle

Dinosaur Jr. – Farm Kylesa – Static Tensions Times New Viking – Born Again Revisited YACHT – See Mystery Lights Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It’s Blitz!

Best New Album from a Local Band: Parade by Afternoon Naps

19. Afternoon Naps – “Beach Bums – Parade 18. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Heads Will Roll” – It’s Blitz! 17. Wavves – “So Bored” – Wavvves 16. Sonic Youth- “Sacred Trickster” – The Eternal 15. Smith Westerns – “Tonight” – Smith Westerns 14. The Almighty Defenders – “I’m Coming Home” – The Almighty Defenders 13. Discovery – “Orange Shirt” – LP 12. YACHT – “Psychic City (Voodoo City)” – See Mystery Lights

Best Reissue (other than the Beatles box set): One Foot in the Grave by Beck

Best Comeback Album: The Ecstatic by Mos Def

11. Phoenix – “1901” – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix 10. Dirty Projectors – “Cannibal Resource” – Bitte Orca 09. Girls – “Lust for Life” – Album 08. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – “Come Saturday” – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart 07. St. Vincent – “Actor Out of Work” – Actor 06. The Coathangers – “Bury Me” – Scramble 05. Future of the Left – “Arming Eritrea” – Travels with Myself and Another 04. Camera Obscura – “French Navy” – My Maudlin Career 03. An Horse – “Camp Out” – Rearrange Beds 02. Neko Case – “I’m an Animal” – Middle Cyclone 01. Animal Collective – “My Girls” – Merriweather Post Pavilion


The yeah yeah yeahs tiesto ra ra riot Photos by: Vanessa aron


1. Bill Callahan- Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle (Drag City) As of 2007, Bill Callahan hasn’t been releasing records under his revered indie household moniker Smog. On the off chance he made this move to signify a departure or separation from his prior work- not unheard of with these singer-songwriter types- then he’s not fooling anyone. This year’s Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle is artful mastery of the hysterically morbid and powerfully engaging style that listeners have delighted in for two decades now. The record’s instrumental arrangements reach something approaching perfection when paired with its bizarre and insightful lyrics. Though Callahan’s contemporaries remain highly productive- none of their releases in recent years have even come close to the remarkable Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle. 2. Mountains- Choral (Thrill Jockey)

Top Ten Albums 2009 Phil Goldberg

3. Isis- Wavering Radiant (Ipecac) 4. Mew- No More Stories... (Sony BMG) 5. Antony & The Johnsons- The Crying Light (Secretly Canadian) 6. Emeralds- What Happened (No Fun) 7. Morrissey- Years of Refusal (Lost Highway) 8. Slaraffenland- We’re on Your Side (Hometapes) 9. Volcano Choir- Unmap ( Jagjaguwar) l0. White Rainbow- New Clouds (Kranky)

Must Listens of Oh Nine (The first eleven months) // zack acerra 1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs, It’s Blitz. This up and down album is rocking your socks off one track then transitioning smoothly into pure lovey dovey bliss that totally makes me want to make out with Karen O, whom I don’t, unfortunately, find all that physically attractive. Key Tracks: “Zero,” “Hysteric,” “Heads Will Roll” 2. Passion Pit, Manners. If your shoulders don’t bounce within seconds of playing this record, you have no soul. No exceptions. This album will make you want to dance to the point you secretly hope Mary Murphy will be judging you. Warning: This album is fucking addicting. Key Tracks: “Sleepyhead,” “Seaweed Song”


3. Phoenix, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. The disc packs a punch. These French bastards keep it coming early and often, and they don’t disappoint. This follow up to 2006’s It’s Never Been Like That, starts off with a bang that combines a pleasant mixture of electro-ish power pop. Even if you’ve never listened to this album, you’ve surely heard “1901” on some car commercial. Key Tracks: “Lisztomania,” “1901,” “Fences” 4. Animal Collective, Merriweather Post Pavilion. If you’re new to Animal Collective, like I was when I first heard this album, it may take some getting used to. If you’re not new to Animal Collective, congratulations. You’re way cooler than I. Even the dudes at Pitchfork claim this is the best album since Arcade Fire’s Funeral. Key Tracks: “Summertime Clothes,” “My Girls,” “Lion In A Coma” 5. Matt & Kim, Grand. With having two of the album’s best tracks featured on an NBC sitcom Community (with one doubling on a Bacardi commercial), Matt & Kim must be on Joel McHale’s mind, since, he apparently knows all that is deemed as cool. Grand does have an element of stickiness though, which will definitely ensure you come back for another listen, or at least begin your Thursday night of laughs the proper way. Key Tracks: “Daylight,” “Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare,” “Don’t Slow Down” 6. Monsters of Folk, Monsters of Folk. Eat your heart out, Damn Yankees. This rock super group might as well be labeled as the indie rock version of the Traveling Wilburys. With Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes, She & Him’s M. Ward (not Mrs. Benjamin Gibbard), and Jim James of My Morning Jacket, Monsters of Folk cover a wide variety of indie rock subgenres. Key Tracks: “Whole Lotta Losin’,” “Baby Boomer” 7. The Pains of Being Pure At Heart, The Pains of Being Pure At Heart. If you can promote sex en la biblioteca, and, at the same time, accept incest, this is the album for you! Brooklyn’s The Pains of Being Pure At Heart sound like they may be on the soundtrack for a Molly Ringwold movie some twenty years ago. Front to back, this album is completely solid, not to mention that Pains put on a pretty rad show at the Beachland earlier in the year. Key Tracks: “Young Adult Friction,” “This Love Is Fucking Right,” 8. The Decemberists, The Hazards of Love. Here, I’ll say it: Colin Meloy is one of the greatest songwriters of our time. His vivid imagination comes to life in this coming of age rock opera. Performed live on tour in its entirety, the album serves as a pretty nifty little play as well. Need a song about killing your children after your wife dies? Here you go! Key Tracks: “The Rake’s Song,” “The Wanting Comes In Waves/Repaid” 9. Black Lips, 200 Million Thousand. The fifth full length album from an insane crew of Atlanta punks brings just about as much raucous their first four. We’re talking about a band where the lead singer dove off the stage during a guitar solo at the Beachland, got a fan in a choke hold against the wall, then jumped back on stage in time to sing the next verse. Grill-toothed guitarist Ian Saint Pé perhaps said it best at that show, “I wish this song wasn’t called ‘Drugs,’ but it is.” Key Tracks: “Drugs,” “Starting Over” 10. Dark Was The Night. Not totally sure if compilations count on this list or not, but this double disc was made to benefit the Red Hot Organization, which fights AIDS through pop culture, so you can’t go wrong. You also can’t go wrong with most of the bands featured on this album: The Arcade Fire, The National, My Morning Jacket, The Decemberists, Andrew Bird, and combinations like Feist & Ben Gibbard, just to name a few. Key Tracks: “Knotty Piny” by Dirty Projectors & David Byrne, “Brackett, WI” by Bon Iver, “Hey, Snow White” by The New Pornographers


BLAKROC-BLAKROC Krista Petrolla This isn’t Kanye meets 30 Seconds to Mars or God forbid, Kid Rock. You will not hear Beanie Sigel’s cliche’ wank-offs about lavish bitches, money, and fly cars. This is no Diddy-style rap metal. Welcome to Blakroc, a project initiated by Jim Jones and produced by Damon Dash. The Black Keys have cast their line and reeled in hip-hop’s most revered, to create tracks oozing with flavor, aching to be heard. The Black Keys may not be able to talk the talk, but Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney definitely brought game with maxi-fuzzed cyclical riffs to accompany tuff Hip-Hoppers such as Mos Def, Q-Tip, Raekwon, RZA, Jim Jones, Billy Danze, NOE, and Ludacris. But before you take a negative stance on the marriage of rap and rock, this album is hardly a result of pressing play and rapping over a blues rock beat. On the tracks “Ain’t Nothing Like you” and “Tellin Me Things”, Mos Def and RZA do a bit of singing, and it lays down smooth with the Keys’ sonic explosion to create an indescribable sound. Q-Tip brings a smooth riposte to Billy Danze’s aggressive throw down on “Hope You’re Happy’, which explodes with the soul-wail tones of Nikki Wray. Wray, who’s only solo album debuted over 12 years ago, is a standout on this album. Her incredible range and fierce, funktacular voice cannot be subdued by aggressive spitting or big guitar sounds. The song “Why Can’t I Forget Him” moves toward a ‘90s neo soul vibe without losing the original dark rock of the Keys. Another album standout is Jim Jones, who reaches out of his element and takes his voice beyond the beats he’s used to. He moves toward a more simplistic style that showcases his talent like never before. On “What You do to Me”, Jones is cool and confident while Billy Danze explodes like lightning in a bottle. “On the Vista” is the best example of a synthesis of rock and Wu-Tang reminiscent beats. Frantic poet Mos Def’s loping gait pushes the song through a mid-tempo old dirty jazz club beat. And if you dig the haunted old jazz sound, Raekwon kicks it with ghastly rhymes on “Stay Off the F***ing Flowers”. Blakroc takes two entirely different sets of sounds and welds them together to enhance all artists involved. Nikki Wray’s vocals are tempting of a future collaboration with the Keys which could totally sky rocket her career. Braggadocious rappers turn heads as they change up their story-telling style for something beyond the expectations we’ve previously given them. Like the track “Dollaz and Sense”, if it don’t make Dollars, then it don’t make sense. This album is sure to roll in some bank. So be prepared to erase bad hip-rock memories. Later Kid Rock. Welcome to Blakroc.


How Uncle Jesse Invented/ Ruined Modern Indie Music

Somewhere, sometime in the past decade, it became popular to state in album reviews, “this band is making the next Pet Sounds.” Or something along these lines, inferring that somehow this band has achieved a level of greatness that somehow mirrors the esoteric success of Brian Wilson. This, for reasons to long to be explained here, annoys and concerns me simply because I do not think Brian Wilson was quite the genius he is made out to be. Somehow he has ridden the coattails of his neuroses to garner universal acclaim for a collection of pop songs called Pet Sounds. Do not argue with me about production quality, and layering of sounds, and whatever other Beach Boys related fanboyism you wish to hurl my way. Pet Sounds is a good album, but really, if you look at it differently, you might say that John Stamos has had a more profound impact on today’s indie landscape. Hop in your DeLorean and join me in the early to mid nineties. You know you’ve been here before, John Stamos burst onto the scene with a pseudo mullet and leather pants as Uncle Jesse on the Bob Saget vehicle/family sitcom/baby wrangling extravaganza called Full House. Parallel the unexplainable success of this tv show with the unexplainable success of a very non-Beach Boys song entitled Kokomo. Now, hold on to your seats, some of you may remember an episode where the Tanner clan got to attend a Beach Boys concert. Uncle Jesse played the drums, and the Tanners got on stage to sing, what else, Kokomo. Also, some of you may know that John Stamos played drums in recording sessions with the Beach Boys, and appeared in the music video for Kokomo. So, we have established the Beach Boys, Full House, John Stamos connection. One step further.

Now. Noah Lennox was 12 going on 13 in 1990, and Animal Collective was not even close to being on the radar. But what was on the radar for Noah Lennox was probably TGIF on ABC, and maybe, just maybe, he saw that killer episode where Uncle Jesse played with the Beach Boys. Of course, Noah Lennox, being Noah Lennox, says hey, that is kind of a catchy song, what else have the Beach Boys recorded. Young Noah stumbles upon Pet Sounds, young Noah becomes obsessed, and the indie world has been changed. And this is all thanks to Full House, but really, Uncle Jesse because of his Beach Boys connection. Do not argue that somehow young Noah Lennox was above watching Full House, shit was omnipresent no matter how cool you were.

Ryan Kerr

So, 2009, many indie band members in their late twenties potentially grew up watching Full House, and potentially saw this episode. Thus this critical tag of “attempting to recreate Pet Sounds” became part of the indie vernacular. As previously stated, this annoys me, because I think Pet Sounds is mostly bullshit. Yet, I don’t blame Pitchfork, I don’t blame Noah Lennox, I certainly don’t blame the Olsen Twins. But Uncle Jesse, that man I blame. And then he got divorced from Rebecca Romijn. Which as, Michelle Tanner would say, “how rude!"


The history of Eggnog is a little unclear. One theory: Eggnog is similar to the milk and wine punches that were served in the “Old World.” Once the tradition came to America, the recipe changed slightly; rum replaced the wine. Rum at that time was known as grog. The new combo became “egg-and-grog.” Shortened then to egg’n’grog and then to eggnog. Second theory: the nog in eggnog comes from the term “noggin” which is a small wooden carved mug. The third theory is sort of a combo of the two. This theory believes that the original name was “Egg and grog in a noggin.” Which of course required shortening and that is when it became “eggnog.” Whichever theory you choose to believe, eggnog is a Christmas tradition that is damn tasty! This recipe may not be the easiest way to quench your eggnog craving, but with a little patience you will be rewarded.

Ingredients:

Homemade Eggnog

3.

Kat Remick

3 eggs, separated

1/4 cup super fine sugar

1/8 tsp salt

1 tsp vanilla

1 cups Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum

1/2 cup milk

nutmeg (use for garnish also)

Preparation: 1. Beat egg yolks, 1/4 cup sugar, nutmeg, salt and vanilla together until very thick and light yellow. 2. Slowly beat in the rum. (Brandy and whiskey are also acceptable alternatives) and milk. Cover and chill overnight.

4. Shortly before serving, beat the egg whites to soft peaks. 5. Gradually beat in remaining 1/4 cup sugar, beat this mixture to soft peaks again, creating a meringue-like cream. 6. Then slowly pour this cream over the chilled brandy mixture, folding in gently. 7. Serve the eggnog in a punch cup of your choice and grate nutmeg over the top for garnish. This recipe makes 8 servings.


Thomas Scharfenberg


The Sign Guy Lauren Kirk


Without even realizing it, you probably have stumbled upon some of the Sign Guy’s work around Cleveland. Since 2005, his art has been springing up all over the city with recognizable images and messages, the Sign Guy has been chaining signs to poles, hanging arts with zip ties, signs made of found material, and his most recent medium, banners. Call it guerrilla art if you wish, but not all of the Sign Guy’s placements are random. Some of his spots are researched, some are chosen on a whim, and most seem to pop up in the Tremont, Ohio City, Downtown, Payne Street, and Waterloo areas. All work is created at his house and he puts the art on the street when he feels the need to do so. Most of the Sign Guy’s art is installed in the morning, when it is less obvious and it MUST be realized that his art is NOT destructive. This is of course, contrary to the belief of the Cleveland police officers who arrested him for hanging a banner. There is no ignoring the influence of graffiti in the Sign Guy’s work. He picked up the skill of tagging train cars, approximately 7 cars a time, and once a friend told him he should branch his art out to other mediums aside from rusty train cars, his career took off. The Sign Guy began painting plants and flowers during his tenure as a nursery employee and soon found himself left with a multitude of paintings that he decided that he needed to use. This revelation led to the Sign Guy attaching various pieces into telephone poles with screwdrivers. Once this happened, someone other than the Sign Guy began to take credit for his work, so he decided to step out onto the Cleveland art scene where his has been a fixture ever since. The first show for the Sign Guy was at the Mudhut in 2006. His work now can be found at Nick’s diner, Touch Supper Club, Lowlife Gallery, and he is always looking to do more shows and is open to working with most mediums. The Sign Guy is also available to do commission work. The Sign Guy and his work were also a part of Ingenuity Fest 2009. He was surprised and pleased with the magnitude of the festival and how well his art sold at the event. After Ingenuity, The Sign Guy moved into making social messages with his art such as “drink, drive, die” and “text, drive and die”, pointing to the social evolvement of his art. Keep your eyes open around town for his work and find your own enjoyment and meanings from The Sign Guy’s hand painted signs, spray painted banners, and whatever other medium he sees fit. For more information check out: www.facebook.com/thesignguy www.facebook.com/the-sign-guy-1972


Winter birds fly high over the blue blue skies… veronica dominguez

Winter birds fly high over the blue blue skies… waiting for the coming New Year 2010 they know that the coming year

year will be full of the Glory of their Lord, who’s Heavenly Angels sings songs of glory to their Majestic Sweet Lord.

like seeds and insects from

they know that the coming new year will bring joy in their hearts celebrating the new heavens with triumph to the

the planted trees buried deep

one who Loves them, too.

will bring them fresh food

beneath the sacred ground. they know that the coming new year will be full of fresh flowers, like roses and tulips

Happy New Year 2010 to all of Heavens Flying creation before the rising Sun.

and fragrant gardenias for them to enjoy around their sacred family.

Happy New Year 2010 to all of

they know that the coming new

before the Rising Son.

Heavens Flying creation


Aleutian Islands, AK Jake Maynard

—flung out like coasters across the bar, Arcing westward to catch the Condensation of the Great White North. These are not the Worlds I have seen In National Geographic. What, with their distinctly Absent moose, modest Peaks, sober natives. Notwithstanding the lack Of Aurora Borealis. And where are the bears I was promised? Those Snorting blobs of bear, Big and dark as the Midwestern sky. But still I move west on This Aleutian Island rock hop— Eyes set across the Bering Sea at that Russia which waits In the time zone Of tomorrow. Twenty-three hours in the Future, but maybe, Little more than a splash Of spilled beer.

2 Lindsay Heller

It’s not always easy living in a city like Cleveland. And this is for several reasons. Number one is probably the most prevalent as it can’t be shaken off with a roll of the eyes and the secret knowledge that you probably know things that other don’t, and it’s growing up. I don’t think that there is anyone on the planet who loved where they grew up. They might love it once they’ve grown or hold a certain amount of nostalgia, but those who live in the city wish they had houses and backyards, those who live in the country are annoyed because everything’s too far away, and those in the suburbs pretty much just lament the fact that they live in the suburbs. But even considering that, Cleveland is not the most interesting place to a sixteen year old. I can’t actually think of anywhere that would be interesting to a sixteen year old, but the fact remains the same. The second reason is the fact that no matter where else you go in the world you’re always going to be tainted as someone who lives in Ohio. No matter how many times I told my non Clevelander friends growing up that I didn’t have cows in my backyard nor cornfields anywhere near my house they persisted in the idea that I somehow lived in the country. Now, in some ways I can understand this; if I was driving from one state to another with Ohio popped square in the


middle it would be more than likely that I’d be driving through a field. I mean… highways don’t generally lead one through places where things are happening. Surprisingly, this is true of places that are not in Ohio also. Plus… well, there is that whole ‘mistake on the lake’ thing that pretty much happened before most of the people criticizing my hometown to me were even born. But then of course there are a lot of things that make Cleveland living incredibly easy. Things like culture, affordability, and the like, but one of my favorite things in the city is the Cleveland Memorial Shoreway. It is possible, I suppose, to think of the Shoreway as just any other freeway going through any other town, but it’s really not. It’s so much more. Anyone who knows me would probably have to agree that I like to drive; it’s one of my favorite pastimes. I like finding routes and ways around through country or city or neighborhood the way other people go for leisurely walks. I make whole afternoons of exploring parks from my car window. But, my favorite drive, by far, is from my house to Lakewood via Route 2 because it shows off so many of Cleveland’s assets in one concise shot. Now, I realize, ‘Shoreway’ likely leads to thoughts of sunny beach resorts and lazy afternoons of dipping toes in the water. Well, it’s nothing like that. Cleveland never utilized its prime lake front plot. I think there were probably several moments throughout history… the seventies come to mind… when that was something to celebrate rather than lament, but in general it sucks. There’s really only one beach that’s within city limits and a somewhat pathetic jut of concrete at East Ninth Street is really the best downtown access to Lake Erie. Cleveland’s not cut off from this nine thousand nine hundred and forty square mile body of water to its north, but it didn’t really design a perfected city planning layout either. But, there is still Route 2 which holds fast to the Lake Erie coastline for enough glorious miles to show off Cleveland’s best views; the Lake, the city, the fascinatingly industrial river, and the parks. Let me explain: From my home in Cleveland Heights the best way to reach the Shoreway is from Martin Luther King Dr., and my favorite way to do this is down Mayfield Rd. and through the trattorias and art galleries in Little Italy. There’s something about Little Italy that reminds me of my childhood, when my dad would bring home a Corbo’s pizza every Saturday (with parmesan cheese and served room temperature), or family dinners at Mama Santas, or buying cannolis at Presti’s. But I pass at the Italian style buildings, built too close together, and imposing front of the Holy Rosary, and pass into Case Western Reserve University territory. It always makes me miss college. Especially in the fall and spring when students are walking to and fro laden down with heavy text books and some sort of collegiate expression on their faces. I can just make out the Weatherhead School of Management building designed by Frank Gehry, which I think is… frankly, ugly as sin but undeniably architecturally relevant, as I pass by Glidden House and then finally on to East Boulevard by Wade Oval. Across from me are the Botanical Gardens where you can spend far too much money to get married, to my right is the Western Reserve Historical Society which used to be my favorite museum though I haven’t been in years and keep telling myself I should go. If I turned onto Wade I would run into the Natural History Museum with its stegosaurus statue outside where my sister and best friend used to climb, and even further still is the Cleveland Museum of Art which is stacked with thousands of paintings, events, and is somehow miraculously free of charge. But I don’t turn; I stay on East


Boulevard because it’s already taking me down a dip and onto my next destination. Martin Luther King Drive is windy, just the right length, and bordered on both sides by Rockefeller Park. I have never explored much of Rockefeller Park, but from the road is doesn’t seem like all that much of a walking park. It’s valleyed by a fairly busy road and doesn’t appear to have many paths, although it does sport a greenhouse I haven’t managed to visit. But, that’s okay because I like the driving bit. I twist my way through the cultural gardens, past Lithuania, and Slovenia, and Hungary, under the bridges and along the canal until I finally, at the end, reach my destination; which is, of course, the Shoreway. The destination though, is just another journey because this is really the beginning of my scenic weave through town. I enter the Route 2 just at the mouth of Bratenahl, with its lush lakefront properties that I’d love to own but know I’ll never have the money for. To the right is Dyke 14, a private nature reserve I’ve never visited because it’s closed to the public, and to the left is a factory of some sort where seagulls like to flock en mass. At night you can catch them swarming the place, perhaps looking for warmth, and circling through the sky like coordinated starlings. The Lake is to my right and as I drive I watch; from the corner of my eye, of course, I am driving after all, the light glinting off the water and dissolving into a hundred diamonds reflecting the sun. It’s serene for a moment, just the water, the road, and me. But soon enough I reach East Ninth, which means I will soon be passing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, designed by I.M. Pei, which always brings to mind Paris and the pyramidal entrance to the Louvre. This is probably because I hold a preternatural fondness for Paris, but might have something to do with the fact that all I can ever think is that Pei must really like glass pyramids. Right next door is the Great Lakes Science Center whose dome OMNIMAX theatre makes Cleveland look like some sort of city of the future from the Lake. Right in front is the windmill that generates power for the center, and while I prefer the sort of windmill that brings to mind Dutch shoes and Delft tile I have to admit, it’s still pretty cool looking. And, to my left… is Cleveland, downtown, the clumping of buildings that can only mean commerce and offices and good restaurants. Looked at from a distance it’s easy to think that Cleveland’s skyline is a little sparse. It is. It’s not a huge city by any means, but because of that it also means that every building boring or beautiful has a little story to it. A history. I remember when a portion of them were built, when the Terminal Tower was still the tallest building in the city. I’m not there long, highway etiquette dictates the necessity to keep moving and not dawdle along gazing at a skyline, and Cleveland’s petite size ensures the gazing will not last for long, but that’s okay, because I am near the end of my drive and there is still plenty to see. Route 2 climbs here, as we’re passing the Browns Stadium on my right. To the left we’re into the Warehouse District, an outcropping of former warehouses remodeled and refitted into luxury loft apartments, where I’d live before I was old enough to want a house in Bratenahl if I had the cash. Below us now is the Cuyahoga River with its myriad of bridges. Old black monoliths, both working and not, that can only be imagined as creaking furiously were they to be operated. Cuyahoga means ‘crooked river’ in Iroquois, and it’s not hard to see why; even in the city the river immediately starts in with it’s twists and turns to the point where a canal was dug to give ships easier access to


the river. The land in between is Whiskey Island and Wendy Park, one of my favorite summer spots with it’s river walk and crumbling former Coast Guard Station. The riverbed itself is lined with industry and mounds of ore brought in by long low boats from the Lake. But I’m not long here either, and soon I’m sailing towards Edgewater Park, the only beach area within the city limits. I like Edgewater because it’s a long lakefront expanse of parkland like nowhere else in Cleveland, it’s green, foresty, beachy, and has a smashing view of the very nearby city. But it’s already with a small amount of nostalgia that I pass the park on my right because it means that the Shoreway is ending now and Route 2 is about to spit me out onto Clifton Rd. where I can glide smoothly into nearby Lakewood, should I choose.

Return to Me Jess Dunkel

My journey has taken me far from home, and usually without any sort of known goal except passing habitual tourism. I might be a little bit sad that my journey is now over, but I have very little to fear, after all, I still have to get back home again.

Where have you gone? My twin, my alter ego, my doppelganger, I’m waiting for your return, Return to me peace, strength, courage, and might, So often you peek through the curtain of my exposed failures, Why won’t you reveal yourself completely? Today. Tomorrow. Someday. I know you will return... To see me wholly, Will you like what you see? Independence, weakness, success, disappointment, faith, injustice... If you return, When you return, Will you seek retribution? Today. Tomorrow. Someday. I know you will return... Your kindness, Your grace, You help me through the dark and twisted paths of my life, You are everything that I strive to be, Return to me forever, I can’t do it without you. Today. Tomorrow. Someday. I know you will return... Today. Tomorrow. Someday. I know you will return...


Elven Forest on the Lakeshore Marc Mannheimer

Lothlorien along the Detroit lakeshore,

the fleeing cars

protecting the wanderers;

that wish only to lengthen their lives

Her trees, shining care and light

by shortening their drives.

on the passing wayfarers. But the trees here, And down by the lake,

up by the road,

domes and conveyors

they bristle with magic,

and the mad machinery;

birthing healing for the traumatized,

the mines pulling salt from the dangerous decay

breathing into torn lungs,

of the dank beneath the Erie deluge,

their oxygen so freely given to the tripped up and the anguished,

underbelly of dragonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gut, spewing and threatening lives and loved ones;

to the raging waiter on the bus, shifting from foot to foot,

they nourish no one but the winter highways,

mumbling obscenities into the wind.


Relics

Sonja Crafts

Downtown there is a parking garage located inside a that when he came early, a man would play prelude converted movie palace. When entering the garage, music on the organ before the show. If he happened you must drive under its marquis which now reads: to miss this performance, the organist would also play between segments and again, at the end of the showing. $2 Per Hour He doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember how much these shows cost, but $8 All Day it was a Saturday afternoon matinee special, and less Valet Available on either side. than a full priced-evening ticket. I have walked under a movie palace marquis before, and I have driven into an underground parking garage before, but I have never entered this particular location in either of its forms. I do not know anyone who has been to the theatre before or after its renovation either, but I imagine what it would be like to hear them talk about it. Perhaps there wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always valet parking, but ticket costs were comparable. As a child my father went to other movie palaces which had later not been repurposed but rather demolished. He had a horse and liked to pretend he was a cowboy, so he mainly saw westerns, which were often teamed up with a cartoon segment and newsreel. He remembers

I learned about the garage palace while watching a special on local architecture. I also learned there is an administrative building a few blocks from the garage palace which has casts of statues from the pediment of the Parthenon located on either side of its entrance steps. I have neither been to see these casts, nor have I seen the actual statues in the British Museum. I have, however, seen casts of these actual statues while visiting the Parthenon of Nashville, which is in itself a scale replica of the Temple of Athena Parthenos. You must enter the Parthenon of Nashville below the actual double bronze door entrance. The tickets cost only $2 after four pm, which is half price. Before leaving Tennessee, I also visited Memphis. In


Memphis there is a great pyramid-shaped convention center along the Mississippi River. At the entrance steps stands a seemingly misplaced statue of Ramses. I am unsure of the size of the convention center in comparison to any actual pyramids in the Valley of the Kings, though its not nearly as impressive, I’m sure. While in Memphis you can also visit Graceland, the actual home and gravesite of Elvis Presley. The house sits on top of a hill, and in order to get beyond the gates to see the building, you have to purchase some sort of tour. The cheapest tour is exactly eight times more than it costs to see the Parthenon of Nashville after four pm. You enter Graceland through the front door, but one of the first stops, and my favorite stop on the self-guided tour, is down the stairs, in the basement, where you can view the yellow and blue TCB lounge.

wife in Germany, the same place as Elvis, although in a different location. I thought he might be interested in visiting Graceland because it is actually a farmstead complete with a fair-sized horse ranch. While Elvis and my father both enjoyed westerns, my father did not enjoy Elvis’s movies.

The movie palace downtown was transformed into a parking facility somewhere in the midst of Presley’s film career, although it had never shown a film featuring the musical or acting talents of Elvis, since it had closed nearly a decade before. My father tells me that Elvis made more money from his movies than his records, although he doesn’t remember if this is true. Today Elvis’s estate makes a great deal through the sale of tickets to Graceland, which his daughter arranged to have converted into a museum especially for his fans. She continues to take care of the finances, and in return, After visiting Graceland, I called my father to tell him receives much of its revenue. about the various rooms and costumes and the Presley family burial site. My father was also stationed in Germany at the same time as Elvis, and also met his


When I saw *New Moon*, there were hundreds of squealing women of all ages in the theater with me, and a large contingent of groaning and complaining guys. I had not read the book, but was familiar with the plot. In truth, I thought it was excellent at depicting how the mind of a teenage girl works. I remember my first experiences with love and the ridiculous things I thought about the way the world worked. Who doesn’t remember the day when they thought their first sweetheart would stay with them forever? Bella is a modern-day, self-involved Snow White; she’s pale, puny and eventually- its understood that her Prince Edward will give her the kiss of (eternal) life. With all fairy tales there is a disturbing amount of female denigration, so let’s be clear that when I pick on *Twilight* and its successor *New Moon* for continuing the legacy of misogyny and patriarchy, I also suspect that wasn’t a conscious thought on behalf of the author or any of the people who worked on this film. These themes: damsel in distress, love interrupted, hero’s return, love triangle, virginal quest etc. are deeply ingrained in our culture’s literary tradition. Critiques of this movie are numerous: the characters are weak, the CG is unconvincing, the over-sexualization of minors, everyone seems irrational, it has the world’s most boring vampires, and people are upset that teenage girls are watching this and using it as an example or role model relationship. The balance of power in Edward’s and Bella’s relationship is toxic even to watch for someone who has worked with women in real-life versions of this situation. Much has already been written about this clearly abusive relationship, one that no one should want to be in, let alone for eternity. Only a high schooler would think this is a good idea, and that is an important point *no one knows anything in high school*. Can’t this movie serve as a symbol for how much a woman can grow and mature out of the type of tween thinking that happens before education and worldly experience combine? Let’s take this moment to educate about the folly of an undeveloped mind making decisions that have severe consequences. Think back to *Romeo and Juliet* which *New Moon* constantly references- what is so romantic about some 13 year olds who have known each other for a couple of weeks committing suicide? And what exactly is going to be romantic about Edward for Bella when they graduate high school for the 300th time? Our cultural relationship with the idea of romance is insane, and this movie is just another product of it, merely a symptom - can we make this a conversation about encouraging cultural shift? Obsession, extremism, and patriarchy are the big themes of New Moon and the world at large. We see it in our foreign and domestic policies and in our cultural products. In fact, these themes are at the root of what a lot of people describe as the problem with America today. If we can change our culture, the entertainment industry will follow.

The Experience of

New Moon Vanessa LaValle


Hollywood, I See You Bryan Mchenry & Jeffrey Benson


Tis the season…not for presents, not for celebrating Jesus' birthday, and not even for an excuse to binge drink until you soil the bed. Tis the season for "breakthrough" blockbuster cinema "masterpieces." With much pun intended, I can most undeniably say how much entertainment Avatar provided me for my $9.50. Although in hindsight, I should've been more fiscally responsible and gone to the matinee showing. In today’s economy, that is just way too much money to spend on a Giovanni Ribisi movie in which he doesn’t play a retard. First of all, I'm most definitely not an acclaimed critic, or even someone who knows about or can respect the "art of cinematography." I am just a mid 20's young professional who enjoys his many forms of entertainment and media. I have spent countless hours enjoying the crème de la crème of cinema: Shanghai Knights, Surviving The Game, Point Break, and of course…Daddy Day Care. Until Avatar, I assumed Kevin Costner's Waterworld would be destined to stand alone in its own category. Thanks to iTunes, we can accurately tag this category as: “Overbudgeted Political Jargon”. Ah yes, I said it and will say it again… jargon! I can't believe James Cameron spent $500 million on this movie. Shit, give me one week with some Mac software, Blu-Ray discs of Fern Gully and Dances With Wolves, and Youtube. With all those powers combined, I too can splice together enough footage to show that Corporate America is evil, Global Warming is going to kill us all, and invading other countries is bad. Hell, I’ll even throw in a fight to save Hometree. Although sadly, no amount of technology can make Sigourney Weaver the least bit attractive. Seriously people, am I the only one who laughed out loud during this movie? The last time I checked, the last major breakthrough in cinema came when they added color. Wait, never mind, it came with George Clooney's acceptance speech at the Oscars. Those who applauded that tom-foolery and shenanigans all probably own the extended edition of The Day After Tomorrow. Sorry Quaid, while I am willing to believe you can still pitch in the major leagues at middle age and team up with Sean Connery-voiced dragons, I can’t quite believe your sperm created Jake Gyllenhal. Hollywood, you are one sneaky son-of-a-bitch. You and your witty camouflaged agenda have been noticed; don't act like I didn't see The Day The Earth Stood Still. How dare you tease Keanu or Kathy Bates with such a classic remake. You sure are sneaky. I'm sure you got a few by me but don't get too comfy because just like Jakesully and Nateri, "I see you!" You stole my heart with those special effects and the ability to hide horrid acting through sex appeal. That shit is as abundant as smog where you come from. Don't get me wrong, I will once again fall prey to those vices. But I too have a dream. My dream does not involve protecting Hometree or Pandora's supply of Unobtainium. It does not involve mating in front of Eywa either. It is actually quite simple Hollywood… I wish I knew how to quit you. So yes, I admit I am guilty of feeding the beast. I am only human. Though in an attempt to right my wrongs, effective immediately, all James Cameron movies have been demoted to RedBox rentals only. One night, one dollar, no regrets, minimal guilt. So thank you Hollywood, you have opened my eyes so much, but I do feel kind of guilty putting this whole evil Corporate America/Global Warming on you. Because isn't it 2012 we really should be worried about? Pick one and get back to me.


Ghost Story

marissa desantis At one point you think to yourself that no bar should be carpeted, your caked-up work boots shuffling through years of piss and spit and sloshed-over pitcher stains. Maybe there are better bars outside of Tupelo, some place where Elvis isn’t tacked high on the wall, hanging over your buzz and curling at the edges. Maybe you’ve put something better to your lips than a longneck bottle of Bud. Some things you never leave behind though. Elvis Aaron Presley didn’t, displaced white trash getting fat in the Jungle room beneath a fake waterfall, sucking at the corners of a peanut butter and banana sandwich. The weight of a bottle, a good woman gone, a room half-empty at last call. You don’t leave anything but chalk outlines, everywhere. But it’s not last call yet, and there are hours to wait, college kids still racking up at the pool table, making ridiculous wagers, their girls punctured with navel jewelry, a West coast ball game going into the seventh inning stretch. The pitcher trots to the dugout, curling his glove against his chest, wearing his socks up for nostalgia or something. He’s the only one on the field in stirrups. Kenny slides you another and you nod. Hours to wait before you can see her again, floating translucent through the wall like the skin of a sweet onion, the lines of her face, the veins in her arms pale and traceable. Her blonde hair waving like it’s still underwater, the hole through her chest getting bigger with every quarter you slip into the jukebox.

“Hey, man. You gotta level with me.” Kenny’s thrown a rag over his shoulder and he’s focusing real hard so you can look him in the good eye. You take the last sip of the previous bottle, warm from your right hand. Piss-water when it’s warm. “What’s that?” He slides the thing off the counter and leans forward like he’s got a secret, like someone at the bar is gonna care. Down at the other end, a blonde with teased hair is letting a brawny guy with a crew cut slide his hands all over her ass. “I seen you last Friday at last call over in the corner by the jukebox.” “Alright,” you say. “You were dancing to that old Hank Williams song, only there’s nobody there.” You take another sip for protection. Just an old drunk; no matter, Kenny. Chalk it up to this hateful need, the delirium tremens. Making you shake, that’s all. “Hmm.” You mutter into the circle of condensation on the bar, then slide your finger through it. Everything in this place feels heavy with sweat, moist and bacterial. “I guess it don’t need an explanation. Just people were asking about it, that’s all. You got your own business though, that’s what I been saying. He’s had a tough time, I tell ‘em.” He wants an answer, the way he’s leaning, his left eyelid sagging heavy over his wandering eye, his right at full attention, compensating for his skewed vision lines. “You’d tell me if you’re crazy, right, my man?” He gives me a sickly wink and chomps on his gum on one side of his mouth. “I guess you’d be the first to know.” He lets out a laugh like a talk show host amused at his own banter.


thing never stop flickering red an d yellow, left arrow, right ly. en dd arrow, disc D, track 10. ne su go is r ba e th of d en e th The couple at m scatter like ice cubes fro The billiards crack and When she passes through the wa , like he’s got something ll, the red and blue Ole an aluminum tray. Then e th ward to Mis es s flag ov m sw d ee an ps s for rn wa tu rd y wit h her, waving gracefully better to do, Kenn across her cold thighs. You’re sta wall. Top of the e th to ed nt ou m nding there stupid again, TV dust-covered and you push play. eighth. A whirring sound, the disc drops, the neon Schlitz clock to g in rd co the white lights keep ac 5 :5 11 It’s . ad he d rolling upward along the sides of the -haire tty ra y’s nn Ke of ck juke. Then the strings over the ba enter, stretching across the barroom she comes, as en wh it in ru m hi t , popping and strutting le You can’t e like ac pl a for wa in rd et fro re m sc ha di ng ing be t spe akers, hanging somewhere promised. You can’ you’ve never noticed. And Hank’ ng all over a di sli s ot bo ky un Cl s low mutter sweeps this, can you? into a whine and her hand is ag nothing better th wi le te en cli , or flo ain y st yours and you’re hollow empt sorry that your skin’s so dry, that at this place knew dy bo No d. no or you lk haven’t been taking ta to do than out a ab ng car hi et e of m an So yth ing s. ur for all yo this time. Jambalaya, a-crawfish her name, much less got bent on pie l ai an dr d-a ar filé gu gu of mb n o, io cau ct se se tonight I’m gonna see my rainstorm and a shield trying machez a mio. You’ve got two min nd wi e th h ug ro th ht rig utes and fifty seconds 78. She went You s. ow wit kn h he r, dy he bo r che no st — like a summer night sweat against you to stop for something r into that re u’ bo dy, yo if tha t ga ws pin ne g e ho th le you on it cou d ld ar pa ss he you ve r ha ha nd through might st, if the rest of her were whole. So l intrigue, human intere ca lo — ng n of rti a gu po n re we of ’ll have big d kin fun on the bayou. on pity-faces ng tti pu s or ch an ws ne tight-jawed wn ather. It all comes do between traffic and we . et Maybe Kenny’s watching with his r, really. Closed cask bastard eye, maybe to traffic and weathe rd wo the til wit , h his dy go ge od tra on e. a Ma , ybe dy Elv ge is is sitting at the bar, alive, Everything a tra shoving deep-fried onion rings in his mouth, his upper lip y. seems funn fixed in an unchangeable sneer. Maybe he sees her too, t your Pu . ile ha vin wh g a be r en fo so r clo da se ra to e de ath in this world. He probably You stayed under th x. Pressed kno bo ws ke the ju wo ’s rds se el to this y od son eb g, probably wants to dance quarters in som e on u yo ts aw ge ay r wit te h ar he qu r, lea A ding with his rocking hips. And you C-17 instead of D-10. do else, re he too ew , m eve so ry r Fri da lla y do nig ht, a bu s t the ke ta floo it r is , full re of friction, your play he head is thick as honey, and she is, she wants to meet g in th e th t Bu do es r. this te at thing where no m ery Friday til she floats away during the las ev t pu ay st u yo w no t chorus, eluding you you here. So again. Son of a gun we’ll have big ody else. yb er ev th wi ll he to d fun on the bayou. It’s midnight an a quarter admission fee, another bill to pay, keeping her e letters strangely alive with a novel th e lik s ot kn d an s irl ty song and a couple of beers. The Schlitz logo sw e clock reads You’ll keep paying forever, keepin th , ey rs je ll ba se ba a g your head above the on the front of ger on the slit, surface, poling the pirogue where the fin ur yo t go ve u’ yo water is shallow, 11:59 and edge, metal falling where bodies don’t disappear, moving, e th er ov r te ar qu a swaying in the pushing al. The lights on this same place. et m t ns ai ag y av he d flat an


oriti

frank

vest


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frank

jeans


50 Things to do in the winter // Kat Remick 1. Spend some time constructing your winter outer shell- Let’s face it, no matter how cute your outfit is, more the half of the people you see on the street won’t see it. Spend some time and effort on making sure your winter gear reflects your style too. 2. Prepare your car for battle aka Cleveland winterFrozen locks, getting stuck in the snow, and slippery ice. These are just some of the hazards that winter has to offer. Make sure you have the proper tools to keep yourself safe. 3. Find your perfect shade of red lipstick- Not every shade looks right on everyone. Take some time to find the perfect shade for you. 4. Invest in a mood enhancing light bulb- If you have the dreaded 8-5 lifestyle you could really suffer from a bad case of the winter blues. If you’re lucky you may get to see an hour of sun light a day. These mood enhancing lights certainly help. You should also increase your intake of vitamin D and B vitamins 5. Decorate a Christmas tree- Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas it’s still fun. 6. Make an Orange and Clove Pomander- From the French pomme de amber meaning apple or ball of amber. An Orange Clove Pomander is a clove studded orange. It gives off a delicious aroma that smells like Christmas.

12.

Make a dreidel out of clay

13.

Shop for vintage holiday decorations

14.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen

15.

Enjoy some warm homemade Latke’s

16. Color one of those holiday contest pictures from the grocery store 17. Make an ornament out of a pine cone- All you need is some glue glitter and wire. 18.

Master the art of present wrapping

19.

Hand out mini candy canes to everyone you see

20. Sip on a candy cane Mojito- Mojito mix + a splash of Poma Liquor= Yummy Candy Cane Mojito . Garnish with a mini candy cane. 21.

Wear reindeer antlers or a Santa hat

22.

Get a picture on Santa’s lap

23.

Make egg nog from scratch

24. Create a holiday tradition- The hub and I like to watch Scrooged starring Bill Murray, on Christmas Eve. We have watched it so many times we can actually say the lines with the movie.

7. String popcorn and cranberries- You very own handmade eco friendly “tinsel.” A fun craft for boring nights in front of the TV.

25. Put out milk and cookies for Santa- So what if you they’re still there in the morning or if your husband eats them in the middle of the night. There is something magical about holding on to your youth.

8. Make anatomically correct gingerbread men & women- It’s an excellent way to get a chuckle out of friends or shock them. In any case it will make for a great conversation starter.

26. Watch episodes of Northern Exposure- Great show! All seasons now on DVD. Guaranteed to make you thankful that your winter will only last a few months.

9.

Kiss under the mistletoe

27.

Make a snow man

10.

Enjoy a Great Lakes Christmas Ale

28.

Make snow angels

11.

Shop local for your Christmas presents

29.

Go sledding


30.

Go ice skating

31. Enjoy sometime by the fire- Don’t have a fireplace? There is always the awesome TV fire they have on the public access channels. 32. Burn sage- To cleanse and bless your house or apartment, again use the entire bundle to light. Open your front door. Go to the back of the house, and cover as much of the room as you can reach. Be sure to hold the bundle as high as you can. Don't forget the corners of the rooms. Work from the back toward the open door at the front. Go into every room, including bathrooms, closets, utility rooms, kitchen...everywhere. When you get to the front door, say "Anything not here for the highest and best good of those who live here, be gone. You are not wanted, and you are not welcome. This home has been cleansed and blessed." Then walk out the door, close it, and sage around the door and door frame. Leave the bundle outside to burn out. Make sure you put it on dirt, or on something that will not burn. Be careful though, Sage burns very hot. 33. Drink champagne threw a straw- I’ve been told it gets you drunk faster, but I just think it’s funny.

38. Start a savings account- You don’t have to go crazy and save hundreds a month. A little bit here a little bit there can add up. Some banks have it so you can set up a specific amount to be removed from your checking account and deposited to your savings account. Savings you don’t even have to think about. 39.

40. Have your very own snow day- Pick the worst, coldest, snowiest day of the season and call off work. Watch your favorite shows snuggled on your couch with Hot Coco. 41. Go to Punxatawny, PA to visit Phil- Come February 2nd, will there be 6 more weeks of winter? Go to Punxatawny and see the weather predicting groundhog. Not able to travel? Rent Groundhogs Day staring none other than Bill Murray. It’s the next best thing. 42. Get a mid-winter pedicure- Just cause they are shoved in boots all winter doesn’t mean they can’t be pretty. 43.

34. Play the Twilight Zone drinking game- Be careful 44. though… if you play during the whole Marathon you may end up passed out in your own vomit 45. 35.

Have a Tarot Card reading

36. Create an end of the year soundtrack- Choose the songs that have been important to you this year. The ones that you rocked to on your way to work. The ones that comforted you when you were sad. They ones that really spoke to what was going on with you this past year. Then burn them to cd and voila Soundtrack 2009. 37. Make an Anti-New Year’s Resolution list- Instead of focusing on all the things you want to change, write a list of all the things about you that you don’t ever want to change. You can write a Resolution list later, they serve their purpose too.

Throw a dinner party

Buy trashy lingerie Make homemade chocolates Make homemade Valentines

46. Become a pin-up girl- Dress up like a 1950’s pin up girl and get professional photos taken. Keep them for yourself whenever you need a self confidence pick me up or give them to your lover for Valentine’s day. 47.

Spend the day at the Art Museum

48. Learn the real story of St. Patrick- Believe it or not St. Patrick’s day is not about getting so wasted you wake up in a puddle of your own, or worse yet, someone else urine. St .Patrick was responsible for bringing Christianity to Ireland. How that got twisted into drinking and acting like a moron I’ll never know. 49.

Enjoy a pint of Guinness

50.

Watch the St. Patty’s day parade


Learning Craze Toni J. Chanakas I’m I too old for school? I walk the halls filled with young adults Like, Wow. A new world of graduate work, – Adult Learning & Development I’m thrown in waves of academia Work transformed to books and power point lectures Had to redefine my unemployment status What am I doing here? Summer joy masked with written text, not prose Reading endlessly, Malcolm Gladwell’s “Tipping Point,” “Blink,” and “Outliers” That’s a book a week, My passion grows. What’s new though, a proposal for Autism? Which, I know nothing about A teammate, so nice, can’t write worth a darn Each sentence so bare, without a care I edit and edit until early morn. Group projects, the graduate norm AHHHHHH, I often post on facebook. Why worry, it is only a grade I work so hard, I can’t stop Until perfection.

Friends screaming, Can’t you come out and play? No, I’m chained to my Mac computer For hours and hours a day. I take vacation in viewing others photos – China, Costa Rica and Africa online Places so far away, wanting to visit I will, one day. When will my life return to normal? Wishing for a 9 to 5 day With bosses explaining what needs done The murmur of clients, I fondly remember Soon, oh, so soon a new life awaits. I will patiently sit, until A new destiny Of teaching, writing or training positions All good, challenging To fill my passion In rewarding others. What’s so dear? Knowledge, hope, and confidence No, it’s never too late, To become more educated.


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He was teetering on the edge of agoraphobia with each puff. His three speakers quietly hissed white noise. There he sat typing away loudly. His computer knocked and ground and ticked away at every paranoid word typed. His keyboard was propped up by two socks that had each seen at least 48 hours of action that week. The socks were intended to muffle the great bang of his fingers against the keys against the keyboard against the desk against the floor against his downstairs neighborâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ceiling. Yes he was smart, he would hide his secret high from the world. The medicine brought out his creativity, but also heightened his senses, or so he believed. His heart pounded in his ears. The floor creaked and clattered every time that he shifted his weight against his chair. With every car passing by the road outside he winced like a child picking a scab. He could hear every conversation in the apartment building. He could hear his neighbors quietly complaining to each other about the loud bang of his index finger crashing against the space bar. The muffled thumps of against his desk and against the floor were driving the neighbors to hold pillows against their ears. He could hear them whimpering to the management office about the slow creak of his chair against his cracked desert of wooden floor panels. Oh they knew what he was up to. They all knew. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d been bad this week, and they all despised him for it. Perhaps his anxieties were altered feelings of remorse for the pungent and loud perverted acts that this room had been witnessed to. The sound of wheels moving


in short thrusting scoots back and forth across the floor still echoed from his last carnal encounter. Maybe they could see him masturbating through his upturned blinds to pornography that he downloaded from his hijacked internet access. He thought he could hear them whisper about it over the low moan and grunt of streaming adult video the other night.

fear of punishment for his sins. These avenging old bitties. Wait, what was he thinking about before? “Eh, nevermind”, he continued to the bathroom. “No, no there was something, something important, something back in the bedroom”. He turned to his bedroom door but damn, “Damn I gotta PEEE!!!” They were listening again. They heard him. They heard him pace black and forth to the bathroom under the suspicion that he’d But drugs, that was a whole different offense. It was forgotten something but couldn’t... remember... exactly... entirely illegal and frowned upon by the nosy nuns what. who stalked his new apartment building. They had a way of doing thing around here, and he didn’t fit in with They knew, shit! They knew. They felt the ceiling shake the rest. They quietly watched him as he lit 6 sticks as he paced around the white tile floor of his personal of sandalwood incense in order to mask the smell like lavatory. They heard him remind himself aloud to close burnt pinecones that wafted through his bedroom/office. the door, then remind himself that he lives there alone They saw him light one stick then blow it out. He gazed and there’s no reason to close the door, then remind at the blackened tip, wondering why it didn’t glow or himself that the cat might get in and that’d be weird, smoke. He lit it again, and blew it out, but still no smoke. then remind himself that the cat wouldn’t come into the Time was of the essence. He had to mask the smell bathroom. Yes he would. No he wouldn’t. Yes he would. before they caught onto his illegal doings. Those damn NO HE WOULDN’T. YES HE wait... Catholics with their sewing circles and walls bearing cross after cross of divine judgment. Their wrinkled He stood silently before the brown stained toilet. “Thunk”. frowning noses turning up and wondering what that Wha... what was that? He spoke quietly, making an extra smell was. Their blue spotted hands dialing 911 SHIT! effort to whisper this time. There was a noise outside. He had to hurry. Then light it again, NOTHING! Oh my There had to be. Was that a knock? Dread filled his disappointed God I’m toast! He cursed the incense and stomach with cold. His thoughts raced patiently and all things sandalwood for denying him his moment of quietly through his gritted teeth. What does it smell creative bliss. Hands shaking he stared, concentrated like in here? Pinecones. Burnt pinecones. “MY GOD on the stick of incense as though he could light it with his NOO!!!” thoughts. One last imperative time he lit. With his last Just as he was going to dive behind the couch, something free moment, he lit. Then he saw his error like a halo, happened. Something terrible erupted from his pants. he realized that wait, “I’m blowing on the lighter”. The back of his pants. All that damn barbecue, he “HA!! HAHAHA!!!” he screamed in the faces of all of those blasted old bats. He actually screamed. He cowered in silence forgetting that in this situation, in this new place, under this influence silence was his arch nemesis. He had to do something. He had to think. Ummmm… move, he had to move. He had to do something so that he didn’t hear them. He had… to pee.

thought aloud. He hesitated to feel even the first twinge of pride, caught mid-scoff when the reality of his situation resurfaced.

“Open up” the voice said. No, lord no. sweet lord of heaven and meat NO. “We just want to talk to you”. He wasn’t just paranoid. It wasn’t just the drugs. He was stoned, confused, and naked. “They were really As he moved towards the bathroom he was struck by listening. They’re really outside. They’re really coming another enigma. Damn these enigmas. Everything in. “We’re coming in” the voice said”. He felt the floor, is an enigma when you move in silence, frozen by the now warm and wet, quake as they kicked the door in.


artwork by:


A Daydream jordan dunkel

Methodically Noah went about preparing his tackle for the day’s fishing. As he entered the garage the old wooden screen door with it’s peeling paint slammed behind him, causing a startled jump. That happened every time. He knelt beside his array of rods, reels and three tackle boxes (he never finished consolidating it all into the “big box”), and began the process of choosing what to use. He always attacked the water with two rigs, for the river held a plethora of different aquatic species, and to be unprepared was not like him. This day he choose his six-and-a-half foot Ugly Stick matched with an Abu Garcia baitcaster, and for the lightweight tackle, a six foot Shimano with Abu Garcia open-bale caster. Noah loved Abu Garcia, and had purchased this rig with his savings from Lunker’s, his favorite store. His line installed, Noah decided he would lug the “big box” out to his usual spot. Living on the river had this advantage, as twenty yards put him in his favorite spot which was several paces from the bridge. He did not enjoy fishing the bridge, but had spent several springs sinking dried up Christmas trees across from a large fallen oak, which protruded out into the water. This Oak caused a nearly violent break in the water, and Noah knew the calm shallows on the other side were a haven for his favorite catch, the smallmouth bass. But sinking the Christmas trees ensured he would always have a nice spot next to the calm waters just past the rapids, where various panfish nested year after year. With the whip-like action of his Shimano, even a small bluegill could give him satisfaction, not to mention a few fish for a hearty dinner by the fire pit near the house! This particular morning was typical for Noah. The trudge to his spot, the crisp 6:30 morning air, and the fog drifting from the river where it dissolved into the woods which separated this haven for life from the desolate mourning of the cemetery across from it, at the top of the hill. The mosquitoes had formed their typical clouds during the hatch, not yet ready to suck the life from their hosts. The rains from the week before had excited the flow of the river too much for fishing, but now that the level had fallen, it was prime time between flood and famine, the water level held evenly. He decided to forgo large quarry this morning, instead hoping mid morning sun rays would drive the larger fish towards the fallen oak, where he could expertly prey upon them. The Shimano and Abu Garcia were prepared, a six pound test line wired to a small Terminator brand inline spinner. He choose Terminator brand for its finish, the titanium coating perfect for catching early morning rays and flash in murky


water. They were a little pricier, but nothing Rapala didn’t charge, and besides, why skate out of good tackle just to save a few dollars? His job washing dishes wasn’t much, but not catching fish wasn’t much fun either. So he swallowed the cost. He positioned himself on the rocks of the bank and began the methodical process of “cast,reel,reel,stop,titch,reel,reel,ca st,reel,reel….”. On the third cast his heart jumped as the line tightened and he set the hook nimbly. The terrorizing violent yanks of setting a bass would only cause the bait to fly from a panfish’s mouth, out of the water, and perhaps into his face, and he knew that. So with the steady, almost slow motion of a professional golfer, he eased his un-barbed hook into the fishes mouth and began retrieving his prize. “Damn” he though as he lifted the fish from the water. Ultra light rods can do that to you. They bend like a bow before releasing the arrow just to reveal to you their sensitivity, and not a monster catch. But it was still fun, and he wasn’t in the house, so who cared? He wet his left hand with water from the river(a dry hand removes more of the fishes protective film, which is not an informed practice for catch and release fishing), removed the barbless hook, and gently placed the small crappie into the water. The fish darted off, and Noah often thought that perhaps released fish went back to their friends to brag. “Yeah man, check it out, dig the hook mark?” “No way, you got caught?! You idiot, it was probably that stupid shiny thing that vibrates the water and looks like nothing we would eat, haha” “Yeah whatever, you and your ugly scales just hyuck it up, I got caught and got away, what do you have to show the ladies, eh?!” At least that’s what Noah thought while fishing. He knew he was probably wrong. It probably went a little differently…. “DAD, DAD!!! HELP!!!” “What is it little water weight….what is that mark? Did you get caught?!” “I know dad, you told me never to eat anything that doesn’t look real, but it looked so good” “Of course it looked good!” papa fish roared. “That’s the whole point! It looks good, and then your gone and your mother cries for days!” “I’m sorry dad, but what about my friends? I had to” “You didn’t have to anything” papa again roared. He was good for that. “I need to talk with the other fathers, perhaps this “Swift School of Fish” we pay so much for isn’t that great!” Noah chuckled at himself for his pun. It was lame, and though he wasn’t the coolest kid, he knew enough to know when something was corny.


mar keffer empire k


mark keffer im a tree


The chatter, that too-loud sound Always seems to register As violence during a Good dream. My eyes open—cold pinching At my nose and one exposed Shoulder—and I pan the Gray space of morning For hostility. I am alone with the epileptic alarm clock. Outside October frost Warrants coffee, boots And a half-hour of bitching.

carpe diem jake maynard

Being I can’t commit to Coffee and bitching, I bid the morning good day, And fold back in To what’s left Of last night.

like tectonic plates, forming orogenies of mountain-clouds; a rain-soaked matterhorn of cloud mountains tearing the sky, now clouds roll eastward toward me eating an apple, i check the horizon of midwestern flatness

farming

shelter— nowhere, umbrella— nowhere, just bent stalks Of grain bobbing in the wind

clouds coalesced— grinded together

i am a sad, small child of circumstance


cha erm ir d a l. esig geo n rge


Issue 6: Winter 2009/2010  

Issue 6 is messy magazine's 2009 year in review and works from Cleveland artists as well as national artists. ENJOY!

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