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two two nce sente sentenc c o n f e s s i sion o n confes issue 5

Fall ‘09


messy magazine is an online, theme inspired publication focusing on the creative community in, around, and outside of Cleveland, distributed from Cleveland. We showcase literary work, art, music, film, photography, DIY, you name it. messy magazine is a submission based publication. We welcome submissions, thrive on submissions, and are comprised of submissions. Without you, what do we have? Just some bare pages. And what’s so entertaining about bare pages? Nothing. All joking aside, we’d be happy to see and promote your work. We promise to pass them along and spread the word. And send some jokes. Everyone always needs a new joke. messy magazine is Vanessa Aron, Lauren Kirk, Genna Petrolla and Michael Stidham. Ownership and copyright is that of the artist submitting. All reproduction rights are that of messy magazine. No reproduction in full or partial permitted without written prior consent of messy magazine. All content © Copyright messy magazine, 2009.


welcome to issue 5: ‘two sentence confession.’

it was a delight putting this issue together. but we have to admit, we were a bit scared no one would submit anything. for this issue, we extended our deadline on submissions by an extra three weeks. five full weeks is the new standard time frame for submissions from this issue on out. we want to make sure we give everyone ample time to create and submit something to us. the inspiration for ‘two sentence confession’ is somewhat unknown. but the influence of short bursts of information is saturating our society. many times from online sources, but it is also seen in other mediums as well. news headlines, text messages, opi nail polish names, potato chips at the grocery store, they are everywhere, calling out to us. sometimes these small pieces of info are vague and leave people hanging in a fog. for example, the text i received the other day: ‘going to the morgue sure makes you realize the fragileness of life...’ where did that come from? and sometimes they are blunt, succinct and right to the point: ‘i love messy magazine more than any other online magazine’ (why thank you). either way, they can be entertaining. sometimes brief outbursts are not entertaining. confessions, large or small can often be destructive and heartbreaking. they can also be inspiring. whispering, shouting, or simply writing them down often brings the comfort that only arrives upon release and revelation. whatever the consequences... as stated in the submittal emails, this issue will be special, as most of the authors and submitters name’s have been omitted for security reasons. in all honesty, we can’t remember who submitted what either. so your public secrets are safe. also in this issue we have some fantastic DIY projects thanks to Kat Remick, a lot of music stuff, some fashion stuff, some gallery info and a ton of events. fall is event season, which only seems right after wedding season. there always has to be an after party after the party, right? for all of those newbies we met at made in the 216 and porchfest. welcome to your first issue. we hope you enjoy it and stick around for future issues. well, this is starting to become a rambling mess, so let’s just wrap this up by saying (and typing) a big THANK YOU to all those who submitted this issue, who submitted to our last issues, to those who read each issue and those who spread the word of messy magazine. we are truely greatful and terribly appreciative of all of your support in this entire project. so again, THANK YOU, and enjoy. the editors of messy magazine, vanessa, genna, lauren and michael


i confess...Issue 5 Mix Tape genna p 1)

Pulp- Babies

2)

Ra Ra riot- Can You Tell

3)

Shout Out Out Out Out-

Instead of a two sentence confession, I’m giving you kids a two-sided mix tape. I admit, there is no real method to the madness. This time I went a little crazy. A confession is an admission of guilt, an acknowledgement of sinfulness, a disclosure with hope for absolution. I happen to think that confessions can also be freeing, but you will notice that I have chosen to confess little in the pages that follow. While I continue to harbor guilt and resentment in the most fashionable way possible (if I may say so myself), you can listen to the soundtrack of our lives below. These are songs about coming clean, anticipation, being evil, being wonderful, telling secrets, ruining lives, admitting that you were a jerk-bag and fahgetting about it and starting over. Or at least I think that’s what they’re about. In any event, you can download the (almost) complete playlist on our blog. Enjoy issue 5.

4)

AC Newman- The Changeling

5)

Dinosaur Jr.- Yeah We Know

6)

Benjy Ferree- Tired of Being Good

7)

Broken Social Scene- Almost Crimes

8)

Cat power- What Would the

Community Think?

9)

Au Revoir Simone- Anyway You Looked

10)

The Fall –Reckoning

11)

Deerhunter- Nothing Ever Happened

12)

The Antlers- Wake

13)

Sebadoh- Ride the Darker Wave

14)

The Cars- Got a Lot on My Head

15)

Tim Fite- Big Mistake

16)

Dirty Projectors- No Intention

17)

Talking Heads- Crosseyed & Painless/

18) entrance Kevin Kopanski

Self Loathing Rulz

Slippery People

The Black Lips- Starting Over


I spanked your boyfriend. He liked it more than I did.

I'm secretly obsessed with the t.o. show on vh1. Don't judge me. I always know what your up to because I stalk you on m y s p a c e and facebook. I also know that you’re living a lie. After all these years of your bullshit I finally realized something. I AM way to good for you. Ok fine I can finally confess. I am obsessed with webmd and diagnosing myself. Phew. That was tough.


i will forever be delighted with the anonymity and regret in one night stands. sorry dad.


13 Confessions confession #1: My love and I consider is my favorite season. Until fall 13 our lucky number. My daughter has arrives and sweeps me off my feet. adopted three as her magic number. confession #9: I don't have a best confession #2: I had never heard of friend. I wish I did. 40G. That is, until I got fitted for a confession #10: There are more books bra for my wedding dress. that I want to read than movies I want confession #3: I love my dog. I never (I to see. But I watch movies more often mean never) walk my dog and on occasion than I read books. forget to feed him. confession #11: I really have an confession #4: I know I'm supposed to extremely limited capacity to remember slow down. Still, sometimes I just wish things. That's why I don't tell jokes or quote favorite writers. everyone else could keep up. confession #12: I really love old houses jam-packed with character and details. But I wish they came with new windows (that still looked old and fabulous) that opened from the inside to clean confession #6: I went on a blind date and basements that would stay dry. in 2006. I purposely planned it for confession #13: Abundance is overrated. lunch on Friday the 13th. Sometimes when I find myself in the confession #7: As I get older I seem cereal aisle at the grocery store or to be getting more indecisive. I don't the dollar bins at Target I get sick even have a favorite color anymore. Do to my stomach wondering how much cheap you? products, convenience and choice costs us over a lifetime. confession #8: Every year I think spring confession #5: I miss college and New York. I loved having access 24-7 to smart, creative, insanely hungry people.


untitled anonymous

“

Ok, so I had been dating this girl for like, maybe three months, and I get this big bonus check at work. I don't really know why, but suddenly we had a few bags in the back of my Blazer and are headed from Painesville to Portland. Noone knows about this until we are somewhere in Iowa." "Tell me about your stay there"

Well, Ok, it's late, I'm working third shift as usual, and when someone buys stuff, be it lotto, or drunks coming for food after hours, whatever, I would put dollar bills in the safe and covertly slide the larger bills up my sleeve. I also smuggled out some food and juice for the 5 day haul back to Ohio. At seven, Karem and his wife come in, as usual, to collect the money in the safe and count down drawers you know. Karem starts bitching at me as his wife opens the safe. Now I'm nervous right? I just ganked a hundred and fifty bucks, plus food, and in my nervous night I had sucked down some of those mini wine bottles back in the cooler. So I am a little buzzardly. I tell him some story about needing to go to the doctor, so he "lets me" leave, and me and my girl peel out of there to get to the highway."

"Well, I finally land this crappy job working for a guy named Karem, and like any good Immigrant from a third world country, Karem moves here to open a business, marry a white woman, and save cash to live like a king in his native country. Almost makes first world dwellers jealous, you know? So anyways, after three months of minimum wage, living out of a truck, and existing off the expired food this 7/11 throws away, some bad things happen and we have to boogie, like NOW! It's two days before I get my next check, but we can't wait. "Sounds like desperate times" Any bills ten dollars and larger we "Hey, I never got that last check, and have to put in the electronic safe." after I tallied it all up, from one "I take it some of them didn't make it, business man to another, I only stole about twenty dollars". Hugh?"


When I am behind the wheel of my car it seems like I am always screaming and yelling. Hence why I am a firm believer in euthanasia after a certain age.

Light Fixture PHOTO: Andrew Morrel


I look down upon people who live in the suburbs, and I want to be regional dictator. And I don't think they are related.


New House. New Rules. Francesca Langer

in yesterday’s bed, you lie down with your vices. face up on the table, like strawberry slices. the padlocks, the breadbox, the next never mind. an orange in the basket. the spirals of rind. they bleed on the cutting-board, sleep in the den. the drawer’s out of ink, and the ink’s out of pen.

ninth inning gin. the window box daisies, eleventh-hour blues. the constance of flour, and by-the-door shoes. the milk that went sour and the six o’ clock news. the the the you

tumblers don’t tumble. sink doesn’t swim. 2% lingers; meant to buy skim.

the kitchen is cold, and the outlook is grim.

the liquor cabinet stood ajar the clementine sections, like slivers. Early. a grin. the eight o’ clock toast and the


When I have the clarity of mind to write a poem to impress no one, I write about flowers, the morning light, and squirrels. I actually think that's an honest place to be for me... No government, no relationship hatred, No existential pain. People want pain, or sarcasm or zombies these days. If a guy's happy in the morning, Or when he sees a squirrel do something cute -Why say there should be something deeper?


Recently, I was told that I could do way better than the person I am currently dating. My response to that is…”Maybe I could, maybe I couldn’t, but either way I am the happiest I have been in quite some time.”


Open Letter to summer. A Confessional.

D

ear summer.

Three months ago you were my friend, open roads, semi-blue skies, and potential for full body tans and glistening torsos whilst reaching for that ever-elusive summer romance. Yet my failure to capitalize on your cornucopia of potentialities mirrored my failure to capitalize your name in certain grammatical situations. My porch remained unscathed by flip-flopped feet, un-littered upon by bottle caps of pleasantly priced adult beverages, and still furnished with underutilized lawn furniture stained by autumn leaf remnants. Summer, you must now know how I wasted your three months of semi-tolerable weather. The dvr-ed episodes of Deadliest Catch. Hitting the road to airconditioned bookstores in an air-conditioned automobile to purchase reading material that I would not read on manicured suburban lawns but in very comfortable beds well past the hour of midnight. (Many of these books were Russian; they don’t have summer in Russia!) People watching inside the public library. Drinking piping hot coffee whilst wondering if baristas were aloof by training or nature. Lingering in beer caves inside certain grocery stores and fantasizing about your distant cousin winter. Hey, Summer? Guess what? I still enjoyed these things, though if it makes you feel better, I confess. Flip-flops pinch my toes, summer romances die a slow unromantic death, and I put too much work into that porch to let some hooligans tear it apart for a few good laughs at the expense of another great season by a certain Cleveland baseball “franchise.” I had fun in spite of you summer, I apologize, I confess. Perhaps the sunburn you gave me that stops so attractively at my elbow is your subtle vengeance. But, rest assured, next summer I still will not sip from your salted rim margarita served on your white sandy beaches. But Summer? I’ll find my own way to enjoy you. Count on it. Yours Truly. The Anti-Speedo


Negative and positive Andrew Morrel


flag Andrew Morrel


I took the untouched cookie and the soda that had been sitting at a vacant table at Borders for 15 minutes thinking someone had just left them in a hurry. A few minutes later a mother and her children came back to the table just as I ran out the door full of guilt.


untitled anonymous

T

hink about your last first kiss, affairs of an unwanted nature. So here you remember that feeling, it goes, both partners in the current right? relationship can have the freedom to kiss whomever they choose. I know, The quick jolt of adrenaline rushing sounds a bit crazy, but there are a up and down your body. few rules that must be agreed upon before this deal goes into affect. Butterflies flying around in your Yes we all hate rules, but they are stomach. necessary to keep this fun and not interfere with the existing and Ahhhh‌.. meaningful relationship that parties are involved in. Then we have relationships. We usually dive head first into these First, the significant other cannot be said relationships and that feeling around for the kiss. That would provoke evolves into something more than just too many emotions and complicate the a kiss. Companionship, undying love, idea of a simple kiss. Also, there you know, all that good stuff, but MUST be some respect between couples somewhere we lose the charm, the fire, who are trying to venture out and try and the fun of a first passionate kiss. this idea. Respect is VITAL. It has a hint of lust that lingers on our lips and is an invitation to Second, both partners are locked into an intimate meeting. Such a fantastic a strict do not ask-do not tell policy. moment in our lives that seems to get Absolutely no asking how it was, who lost in the shuffle of growing up and it was with, or even where the event settling down. occurred, this is all confidential. Remember this is supposed to be a fun It might sound ridiculous at first, experience. Details will always make but take a moment and consider what the other party more curious and start is about to be proposed. You may even snooping around. like the idea being laid out. When in a relationship sometimes we get lost Another rule would be never to kiss in the shuffle. We sometimes forget an Ex. This would be relationship the great thing we have in front of suicide! us and this could lead to deceit and


Lastly, and ultimately, it can only be a kiss. NO GROPING, NO FONDLING, and positively NO SEX. If that is what you want out of this, then break up and go on your way. This is not a method to torture your boyfriend/ girlfriend. We are not looking to kill the relationship when this pact is presented. Quick and easy is the idea for this. To quell habitual curiosity and any tension that might be built up in the relationship.

rules that people should add to this so that the deal goes much smoother. As always, no kissing cousins, seriously do not attempt that one. No one is a winner if that happens. One should always avoid kissing your significant other’s friends. No matter how bad you might want them. If they are good friends they will go into full detail and possibly ruin your relationship and even their relationship with their friend. Public kissing may in fact happen due to venue and beverages There are many other guidelines or consumed, but make sure that there


is no way that your significant other will show up. Again, watch out for her friends too. Secret and subtle is the way to go when venturing out for that new first kiss. One should also try not to have any repeat kissers, because feelings might get in the way and cloud the judgment of kisser and kissed. Strangers are usually preferred. Always be upfront and honest with the random kiss participant, that way you don’t lead them on and get their hopes up. If you think of any other rules or guidelines feel free to use them to form a pact designed specifically for you and your lover. No phone number exchanges either. NONE.

get your hopes up about bringing up this proposition to your other half. How would you react to know that not only you get to kiss people, but also the people you are run into at a party or concert might have kissed your girlfriend/boy friend? This is a twoway proposition; so make sure that the jealousy would not consume you. Also, this is not a device for you to be a whore, just a pact to keep every happy and to not fall into the trap of cheating.

If you can handle all of this then all I have to say is this: “Good luck with getting your partner to agree to this idea and if they in fact do have That should about do it, wait a second, fun with your new first kisses, both I forgot probably the most important of you!” question to ask yourself before you

Because I still don’t have internet access in the 21st century, I am addicted to TV & Movie DVD’s that I get FREE from the library. Plus, I only view my email from 9AM to 5PM or if I can find a free WiFi spot.


The car puttered and popped / Down Side Street after side street / paved and potholed. / Cracker jack box between his legs. / Books bump and bounce on the chair next to him / sit Julia Childs and Nostradamus. / night life will liter the sidewalks and doorways / become dens / alleys morph into hallways. / He’d rush them in / and out / back the way he came / the sun on its last legs / ache from the climb / step after step / mom in her soft green dress / the son’s small steps behind him Only one lemonade to share / sugary and cool / “oh boy oh boy” he can hear him say. / Past the old suits smoking cigars / lighting the way / to Italian soccer jerseys / and plastic trinkets / sold by the old wives / streets clogged with vendors and teenagers / Benches filled and emptied / loves renewed to Rossini / There’s warmth all around / jugglers wiggle their way up / and down the way / revelry for all the senses / “One more. One more” he’ll call out / He’s on him before the car door is open / arms / small body / “Look daddy I’m Luca Toni” / the imaginary ball is kicked / The night is young / and in that moment so is he.


I’ve been accused of being true, and less than true. A little perfume makes it all go away. -Mike Hammer


At least once everyday, I have to take a deep breath. This is to calm me down and then I tell myself everything will be okay.


"I'm a murderer! I killed a man!" so says Johnathan Universe.


I really hate confrontation, I mean really. My heart beats faster

and

my

defeatist

attitude prompts me to diffuse the situation by utilizing either facebook or email.

Untitled Andrew Morrel


Confession: Part I Mike Stidham

I

must admit that I am sickened by you. your beautiful face. Your sensual touch. The flare of your softness. Your sweet scent which travels throughout your domicile, cursing everything it touched. Whipping and winding and bending and breaking me into a spell from which there is no hope of escaping. Your posh and shiny appearance hiding the violent beast of your emotional baggage. Your smile and your nod that torture you as you torture me. Your candy coated lies. Your bramble patch truths. Your overwhelming knowledge of things you’ve never done and of worlds from which you will always remain foreign. Your padlocked triple steel enforced perceptual set. You pig eat dog eat pig nature, buried under the most rich and lustrous jewels, the opposite of pirate treasure.

efficient enough for your brand of regal. Nothing is good enough, and good is nothing cast down into your well of self pity.

I was first attracted to your potential. The depth of your bottomless pit. I had no desire to fill it, but to use the void that it cast through your heart. To adapt the recess into a substantial support for you. To turn your dark age into an enlightened blight. But remained. It remained stagnant and sterile. No youth exists among your children. No rooms are

For all of my efforts I am only dead like you. The maggots that fester in your stubborn inequality have devoured me. My mind lay forced open, your transgressions and those who have transgressed against you eat away at my dreams like living rice on bubbling gray matter. My mind searches for a escape from this coffin, for you have buried us both. The muck of my lungs

I'm almost sorry that i made you promises. Swore that I would stand by you until I coul d wash your remorseful repulse away. That I would stand inside of you until I could generate a spark in your cold dampness. That I would fix you. That I would help raise you from the depth of the poor ocean where now, we both have drowned. But I can no longer bear your weight. I can no longer dance for the entertainment of your misfortunes only to be met with blank dead eyes. I cannot fill the shadow of your absence, or force your memories into the sun.


struggle against your poor and happy now pity there will soon be nothing. smog making a dust, a stink that excites I must confess that you disgust me. your innate parasitic hunger. I must confess that I'm leaving you. I must confess, good bye. When i met you you wore a mask of sunshine. you used to be filled with Confession Part II sunshine and crisp leaf piles ripe for children’s laughter. But now you have become soggy with morning fog I must admit that I admire you. and filled with slugs and a multitude I feel that I’ve known of you for what long thin legs writhing and raving. has now become forever. My youngest And as you present your half cooked thoughts have reaching for you like meal swarming with gnats and dripping mothers milk. Running on your grass, with grease to me with your slow writing on you sidewalks, making faces delirious smile, I envy others and at your sky. The childhood hauntings lust for another. You are not the of the monster I wish to become all my dreams victim. No one has hur t you. You live within you heights, have hurt yourself, and as a result roam your streets in the night. you have hurt me. You have gobble the contaminants that once sat in my troth of pity. My cask of guilt. You have picked clean the four corners of my heart.

I could see you but you remained hidden to me. I had never touched you. I never knew the glow that you cast forth onto the waiting world. You were the warmest of mysteries, so foreign yet For the moment, I stay in your presence so close to my beating heart that I simply to sicken myself. To lightly once I touched you, it was as if I was stab and pinch and slap my body until touching my reflection. I’m too numb to care about leaving you. To freeze my arm until it becomes numb I felt empowered when I descended enough to rip off. And I will journey upon you. I felt the glee of a tiger onward, a proud three legged coyote, descending upon a lamb. Two creatures limping into the promised lands that completely unfamiliar, only linked by But I had no lie beyond your ravenous whirlpool. I flesh and instinct. must confess that we are over. I must idea. All of my prowess and finesse, confess that where there was once love all of my tact and strength could there is now pity, and where there is not have prepared my encounter with


you. Your charm trumped my feral and brazen tactics, easy as flipping a coin. and here I lay on my tail, pinned comfortably under your gaze. Making shapes in your in your eyes like clouds in the heavens. Sometimes I fear that I am reintroducing my fashion of decline into your astral existence. Transporting my fear of rejection. Replacing my covetous with another shiny toy. But all of these are empty infer tile fears. All serve to distract, to derail the fact that, you might be perfect for me. That I might be happy. Too oblivious not to be snared by your beauty I allowed my being to be taken by you. You became the battleground of my dreams. A plane where love and happiness battle harmoniously into forever. Though I haven’t truly met you, I miss you fiercely. I miss you with more ferocity that I had ever imagined myself able to muster. After one chance meeting you have satisfied my entire soul. To leave you was not hard, it was not taxing, and it was all but depressing. The pain of being without you is nothing compared to the joy from the fact that I will return. These clouds of gray cannot keep us apart. No storm of snow can smother my affections. No winter road can

distract me from my destination. No smog or scent can throw me off of your trail. I’ll admit that my feelings for you contradict my daily doings. No creature cowers before a smile. No fear can be freeze the breathe of prey when it steams from the mouth of the enamored. My snake charmer gaze loses its impact when my cheeks are high from grinning. True, there are moments when I wish that I could flatly deny my feelings for you, that I could gallantly turn my back on your warm breeze. That I could forget about the fog rolling from your mountains. That I could sober from the intoxication of yo ur smile. The hunt is harder, but I only hunger for you. I must confess that you have captured me, easily. I must confess that you’re better than me. I must confess that, I’m yours.


poems by Maria van Heeckeren

Deception

Sight

The wind whispers of No ocean, Waves hide Only in the rapid blood Rush of a shell. Strings stretch; Cradling salt Between breaths. The starfish, Sadly spoken, Is glass like hearts Or mirrors, Stop self-reflecting When suicide Creeps near.

The stars are so bright blurry... Sand cuts lenses to shreds. Clarity is meaningless when Every rock is Beautiful.


Soft For Lassie (Please Pass The Kleenex)

I am, what I would describe as a fairly well adjusted male; very comfortable with my masculinity. But even as I approch my fiftieth birthday, I must admit that no matter how hard I try, I still tear up every time that I see those sad brown eyes and hear that damn collie whimper in those corny old TV episodes.


machine Kevin Kopanski


Tootsie POP art Quilt Kat Remick

I

have to confess that this craft idea is not completely original. I was inspired by a book by Mark Montano called The Big Ass Book of Crafts. In this awesome book that I total recommend, I found a project for making a postcard quilt out of post cards you pick up at coffee shops etc. I thought it was a cute project and had planned to eventually do one. The amount of postcards I have collected over the years is staggering. But I digress. It wasn’t until I was enjoying a Tootsie POP one day, that the idea for this craft finally came together. I opened the colorful wrapper, spread it out and noticed that the wrapper was kind of like a quilting square. What is a quilting square you ask? It is a pre-cut square of fabric that one uses to make, you guessed it a quilt. Alternative crafting ideas + Colorful candy wrappers + a dash of Warhol influence = The Tootsie POP art quilt. Follow the steps below to make your very own.

necessary that you personally devour all of the suckers yourself. It is however important that you collect the wrappers. This could take some time. But on the bright side you can do research into how many lick it takes to get to center or a Tootsie POP. Surprisingly, it’s not as much as I thought. (Ok, you got me… I still haven’t figured it out yet.) 2. Take two wrappers. Turn them over so that the white part is facing up. Place wrappers side by side and tape them together. Tape should be on the white side not the colorful side. 3. Using Embroidery thread, thread the eye of the needle. Sew the sides of the wrappers together using a whipstitch. A whipstitch is used for seaming fabrics, either the right or wrong sides together. Start with by sticking the needle through the white part of the wrapper and pull up and then down on the colorful side of the second wrapper and then repeat. Make your way down the side of the wrapper and the tie the stitch off.

Tools * Tootsie POP wrappers * Scotch tape * Medium sized needle * Embroidery thread 4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 until the quilt 1. Buy a bag of Tootsie POPs and enjoy. is the size you desire. You can offer them to friends. It is not


5. I don’t have a picture of the complete project for two very good reasons. 1) I didn’t have time to finish mine before the submission deadline. 2) Since this is an art piece, I think you should use your imagination and be creative. Make this what you want it to be. But to tell the truth, it was more of the fact that I didn’t have time to finish it. (Do I get a gold star for working a confession into my craft?) What you do after this point is entirely up to, but I suggest framing it and hanging it so that others may marvel at your brilliance.

How many weeks has it been? Veronica dominguez Its been 2 weeks since my last bath. How do you suppose I feel about this issue? What if everybody finds out that I haven’t found a bathroom that will take me in? Am I the only person going through this experince in life? Or, are their any other brother and sisters out there in the woods who are having this strange condition set for them? Unavailable bathrooms for You! We just don’t like you. You just ain’t our type. Go get your own bathroom. And by the way Never come back you hear.


Something Blue Lindsay Heller

I

confess. I hate weddings. I hate pretty much everything about them. I am not opposed to marriage per se but I have always considered it at least a tiny bit unnecessary. I realize this is because I am obscenely cynical and have a statistical issue with love. There are six billion people on this planet. Of that; 2,414,578,548 are under the age of twenty, and nearly half of the remaining adults are of the same sex (1.014 men to every woman to be exact). What are the chances that of all the remaining people throughout the world you are going to find the one you’re ‘supposed’ to be with. Maybe there’s thousands, maybe some arbitrary choice that was made at some point; choosing the right restaurant, registering for the right class, well send you in the right direction to one of those thousands. Maybe if you’d gone into a different class you would’ve met another. Maybe they’re both right. Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe you choose differently and you’re just as happy with someone else. Maybe there is fate, some sort of cosmic design that I never believed in. But, more practically, what if there isn’t? Love is statistically ridiculous.

picked the right class, gone into the right restaurant and met someone you think you have a very good chance of living with amicably and know you’re going to love for the rest of your life. Then you do what society tells you to do. You make it official, you get married, which is where we began on this tangent. Weddings are horribly pretentious.

You spend thousands on a venue, catering, flowers, cake, decorations, booze (Unless you’re cheap and have a pay bar. Note: Do not have a pay bar, free alcohol is the only reason half your guests are showing up, true story.), and clothing. Oh the clothing. Bridesmaid dresses, enough said. And all that is besides the gifts. They’re never cheap and they are never things anyone really needs. Registering is probably a hoot and a half, but buying them… not so much. It’s not cheap, it’s not easy, and in the end is it really going to be the ‘perfect day’ that you imagine? Probably not. In fact, if it is, it means that everyone around you is likely in an immense amount of pain and just wishes you’d shove off on the honeymoon already so they could go get trashed and sleep with the closest But of course, statistically ridiculous person who shows any sort of interest. doesn’t count for much when you’ve The pain can be explained two ways;


jealously and annoyance. Really the best thing that can be said about the traditional wedding is that in the end everyone emerged generally unscathed. So, in my quest to come up with the most unpretentious wedding known to man I announced, in a fit of eye rolling at another wedding which I was being forced to attend, that if I ever got married I was getting married in an Arby’s. Now hold on a moment, let me explain. I decided once that, if ever written, I’d call my memoirs ‘Eating Fast Food Alone in the Car’. This was decided after a particularly bleak Valentine’s Day (my loathing of this holiday comes second only to my loathing of weddings, really) where I wore my usual black, went to the movies alone, and ate McDonald’s alone in my car. All and all, the perfect day. But really, is there anything more pathetic than packing down a Quarter Pounder with cheese in the parking lot of a cinema with no one, no music, no book, and the windows fogging up from your steaming burger? I didn’t think so. Overall, there isn’t really anything more pathetic than fast food, really. Be it McDonald’s or Burger King, Wendy’s or that eternal underdog; Arby’s. So yeah, getting married at Arby’s is pretty pathetic, but out of all the places in all the world to tie the knot it’s got to be about the least ostentatious.

crazy person who agrees to marry me at Arby’s) with Arby’s cowboy hats floating above our heads. The nuptials will be held at the counter, they’ll likely be short, I’ll say something cheesy about how my life wouldn’t be complete without my intended and attempt very hard not to roll my eyes, and he’ll probably do the same (I mean, come on, he is marrying me). All basic wedding things will be dispatched with, rings, kiss, yada yada. Then everyone will chow down on roast beef sandwiches, curly fries, and jalapeno poppers for the vegetarians. Dancing and booze will clearly be involved, though where the dance floor is I am unsure, it might have to spill into the parking lot. We’ll drink, get drunk, dance our asses off, and then call it a night. Slice of pie (as opposed, of course, to piece of cake).

This is obviously a source of amusement to people. My jaded cynicism is probably hilarious if you’re not directly involved. Maybe it still is if you’re not, I’m a little unsure of this. Recently I went to a camp reunion and after mentioning my Arby’s wedding intentions, a few of my ex-campers (now counselors, proving once again that I am old) presented me with an award; ‘Most Likely to Propose Over a Roast Beef Sandwich’. To that I say simply: I hate Arby’s roast beef, chicken is the only way to go, but the sentiment The invitations will be glossy postcards, is still the same. sporting pictures of us (me and the


phone Kevin Kopanski


untitled anonymous

I

consumable well sometimes I think love you. I don't have your number stored of you as my little cupcake you are more than just a cupcake but I really in my phone. like cupcakes. Heck, I love them I I remember the exact moment when we love you even saying it makes me feel fell in love what we were wearing and unsettled. who was around us and what music was playing there was music playing I Two day-old Chinese food. think I remember what I was thinking and wondering what you were thinking It's a sense of permanency that I just I remember thinking, "Oh shit, I'm in can't get acquainted with again I think love" and then being really excited that it's cute and flattering that my about being human and experiencing the name appears in your phone when I call oh look you have my pictured stored moment in a visceral way. with it too how cute gosh that makes me I have to be really honest with you feel good and it is not that I don't you are the only about the third or feel that way about you I think you are fourth person that I have had these hot and adorable and great but things feelings for and while the first time in my life don't last saving a phone was great and beautiful and made me number is something I won't do until shiver the second and thirdish time after we've signed the marriage license felt like reheated leftovers that are but even then that could self-destruct good for a few bites then you realize call me superstitious if I save your that you can't finish it because you number I am jinxing the chance that feel nauseous and sure enough! you get we'll be together forever I'm trying to pitch the perfect game with you here. sick after you're done eating. That is what being in love is like I've never played baseball a day in my for me. Leftovers. Poorly reheated life. leftovers. I've been in love two or three times I Not that I am comparing you to something love you.


I don't have your number stored in my phone. It's a sense of permanency that I just can't get acquainted with again I think I remember the exact moment when we that it's cute and flattering that my fell in love what we were wearing and name appears in your phone when I call who was around us and what music was oh look you have my pictured stored playing there was music playing I with it too how cute gosh that makes me think I remember what I was thinking feel good and it is not that I don't and wondering what you were thinking feel that way about you I think you are I remember thinking, "Oh shit, I'm in hot and adorable and great but things love" and then being really excited in my life don't last saving a phone about being human and experiencing the number is something I won't do until moment in a visceral way. after we've signed the marriage license but even then that could self-destruct I have to be really honest with you call me superstitious if I save your you are the only about the third or number I am jinxing the chance that fourth person that I have had these we'll be together forever I'm trying to feelings for and while the first time pitch the perfect game with you here. was great and beautiful and made me shiver the second and thirdish time I've never played baseball a day in my felt like reheated leftovers that are life. good for a few bites then you realize that you can't finish it because you I've been in love two or three times feel nauseous and sure enough! you get and I have broken up three times and sick after you're done eating. then I have to go and burn all their shit they have ever left at my house and That is what being in love is like rip up letters and cards listen to Joy for me. Leftovers. Poorly reheated Division and delete voicemails and text leftovers. messages that I had saved for months and months and months I can't listen Not that I am comparing you to something to certain songs or frequent certain consumable well sometimes I think bars I have to avoid people snub people of you as my little cupcake you are and explain myself to everyone I just more than just a cupcake but I really don't have the wherewithal to do that like cupcakes. Heck, I love them I anymore. love you even saying it makes me feel unsettled. I have to delete their number from my cell phone. Two day-old Chinese food.


That is my closure that way I can't drunk call or text or further embarrass myself or draw out the suffering comparable to ripping off a band-aid and whatnot deleting the cell phone number it's a release a sense of closure complete terminal and that is the hard part and then your phone has to ask you "Are you sure you want to delete this contact?" and then I have to think about the falling in love the breaking up the burning their shit and snubbing their friends and how I ended up on my couch alone being prompted by my cell phone to erase what was once the center of my life the source of happiness and rapid heartbeats a speed dial number away from comfort convenience dependable comfortable fucking an errand runner companion movie date second wallet and such. Yes, I am sure I want to delete this contact. Yes, I know that once it's deleted I can't retrieve it. Yes, I anyway.

have

the

number

memorized

If I don't store your number in my phone in the first place then I don't have to do that part at the very end because you know we will inevitably break up but this way I don't have to delete your phone number as it won't be in my phone I have basically figured

out the secret to life I think maybe having to key your number in every time I call you or text you just makes my mind remember it extra hard but I will cross that bridge when I eventually get there in about a year or so I think we have at least a year and a half but I'd be surprised if we last longer than that. 216-xx2-xxx0 that is the number to my first love 7xx-6xx-xx8x that is the number to my second love xxx-6xx-7xxx that is the number to the thirdish love Suffice it to say you are definitely not getting a personalized ringtone.


L

ocal Color is a community-based organization whose initiative is to instantly and temporarily transform and revitalize foreclosed vacant commercial properties in the neighborhoods and communities throughout Greater Cleveland with the unifying use of color, collaboration and design. While murals take a lengthy time to approve and implement, it is the innovative concept of Local Color to immediately and temporarily implement simple vibrant color to living environments. Local Color provides an immediate aesthetic visual impact of color in order to resolve the countless number of vacant storefronts, which will result in the preservation of existing small businesses, to inspire new businesses to emerge, enhance and enrich the commuter and pedestrian experience, as well as to reengage young people and community members with Cleveland. For more information, contact Dani Lachina at daniellalachina@gmail.com


The sillie bean gourmet: Limoncello Kat Remick

I

don’t know about you, but my 2009 sucks. But as my mother always said “When life hands you lemons, make Limoncello.” Ok I confess, she never said that, but she should have. Here’s what you do. Limoncello Ingredients • 15 lemons* • 2 bottles (750ml) Vodka** • 4 cups sugar • 5 cups water • 1 gallon jar with a lid.

not to any of the pith in with the zest. The pith is the white stuff on the inside of the peel. If you get pith in with your zest it will make it bitter. That’s BITTER not better. It will pretty much ruin the Limoncello so make sure no pith! 3. In a large1 gallon jar add the vodka 4. Add the lemon zest

5. Make simple syrup by combining water and sugar in a large saucepan. *Note: Pick thick-skinned lemons because Cook for about 5-7 minutes. Mixture should thicken. you will be using the zest. **Note: You can use less expensive Vodka. To tell the truth making limoncello 6. Let syrup cool. with top shelf vodka is a waste of good vodka. You can get away with 7. Add syrup to the jar. using fairly decent vodka (about 80 proof). If you decide to go with the 8. Add 2nd bottle of filtered Vodka cheaper Vodka, you probably don’t want to the Jar. to put it in the freezer since the lower proof will more than likely cause 9. Screw lid of jar on tight 10. Cover with a kitchen towel and you Limoncello to freeze. place in a cool dark area for 10-14 1. Scrub lemons with a vegetable scrub days. brush. Do not use soap. Make sure to be 11. Strain Limoncello through a fine through because the peel is sieve or a coffee filter. Dispose of what we will be using. lemon zest. 2. Carefully zest the lemons using a zester or vegetable peeler. Make sure 12. Bottle Limoncello


untitled Vanessa LaVelle

After much speculation and observation of my work environment, it has come to my attention that my co-workers neither eat, nor are effected by morning traffic. As both of these instances seem as common as breathing to those I associate, I have come up with the only logical conclusion there could be; I must work with robots.


beer review James Remick III Wacko Summer Ale Magic Hat Brewing Company. Type: Seasonal Ale ABV: 4.5 Yeast: English Ale Hops: Columbus Malts: Pale

A

s the summer comes to a slow abrupt end it seems like a good idea to cling to the last vestiges of the season. I happen to love fall but with it brings the surety of winter and snow storms. Confession #1: I just turned thirtyone years old. I’m a thirty-one year old who never got his license.

Confession #2: I hate beets. I was hoping to dislike the beer to write a mean scathing review for a change. Their website describes this seasonal as “Crisp like the morning, cool like the evening and quenching all day long. It's the beer that dances to the beat of summer. Pop the top and set your summer loose. Wacko is the liquid song of summer.”

Confession #3: I really have no idea I will also admit that unlike many people what any of that really means. I would I love the cold weather and snow, but like whatever drugs they were on when seeing as I take the bus most places they wrote it. I do not look forward to waiting out in it. That hopefully is a long time Let’s set the scene of the first coming but just in case this month’s tasting. It was brisk summer evening beer review is a summer seasonal from in Cleveland and the wife and I were at The Magic Hat Brewing Company. The first the Grog Shop for The President’s of thing I noticed upon getting my grubby the United States of America concert. little hands on it was that it was made Outside was warm but the grog had that odd gust of cool wind going at full with beets. force. The day had been pretty crappy


for the both of us and money wasn’t exactly plentiful. Because we wanted to ensure we got tickets we arrived earlier than we normally would. So after a crappy day, a long wait in line and little money we saddled up to the bar. The plan and money allowed for one drink for each of us. Confession #4: A night at the Grog Shop usually involves a lot of drinking. I mean A LOT of drinking.

that I decided this had to be the beer I reviewed. Confession #6: I decided it based on the oddness of the situation rather than the beer. I also wanted to heckle the puppet lady. Here we met our first problem with reviewing the beer. All I did was drink it and take some notes in my head about the general taste and feel of the beer. The fact that I tasted it for the first time at the Grog was going to seriously hamper how I review it, because it was served in a bottle I couldn’t get a good judge of the color or head.

The wife of course ordered her usual a Strongbow and as I was ready to order a high ball I glanced at the nifty chalk board o’ beer and almost like magic my eye was drawn to the Magic Hat Wacko. I stared at it almost mesmerized by it. Confession #7: I can be lazy when it comes to writing I’ve promised someone. Confession #5: The last bit about I also hatched a plan to make up a finding Wacko on the board was a lie. review based on that first drinking. I actually scanned it a couple times Nose: The nose for the most part remains considering cheap beers. elusive. It is dominated by malty aroma. It has quite the earthy smell to it Let’s not throw around words like liar with the slightest hint of roasted nut and untrustworthy. Rest assured I found or some fruity sweetness? This soft it on the list and decided I’d give sweet scent is probably the beets. it a try and maybe review it. So a series of unusual events were set into Confession #8: Ever since a car accident motion. I got my beer and on first when I was about 8 I’ve sort of been sipping really liked it. Next thing I freaked out by sitting in the passenger know there is a puppet show on stage seat. It’s getting worse and you should and a huge number of people sitting on see me on long road trips. the Grog Shop floor. I sat back and listened to the puppet show, comments Taste: On first sipping you are from the bartender and some heckles immediately hit with a strong sweetness. from the crowd. It was during all this There is an ultra hoppy and bitter bite


to it but it has a very sweet finish. The beets are heavily involved in the contribution in this beers taste. There is a distinct vegetable flavor to it mixed with an earthy crispness. There are hints of spices in there but it is dominated by sweetness.

Company. It was less than a mile from our hotel. We took the tour and did the whole sample thing. Success! I could actually try the beer again without much effort and get the necessary input for my review and from the freshest tap available!

Confession #9: I wrote the first half Confession #10: I had about 12 samples. of this in Cleveland and the second It was a nice little buzz. half in Vermont. Most of my notes were crossed out or unreadable. Appearance: Damn this beer is pretty! The coloring is simply fascinating. It Mouthfeel: As you drink it Wacko appears has a wild pinkness to it that mixes to get sweeter and sweeter. There is into an almost coppery orange. The a floral hoppyness that sticks to your pink aspect is a wild coloring similar taste buds. The malt is crisp and clean to cranberry ginger-ale (including with its finish. The bitterness is simply carbonation). The head is subdued in enough to balance out the sweetness. If its size and stability but has a nice the mouthfeel was an assembly line it white coloring with the slightest tinge would go something like this: Dry sweet of pink in it. When the head is gone it dry sweet. It does have a down note in is gone, with very little to no lacing that it is heavily carbonated and this around the glass. carbonation at some points struggles with the taste sensation. Very thin and Confession #11: As I write this I’m light bodied. easily distracted. Blood in the water on the discovery channel seems more I interrupt for a brief return to the interesting than writing. set up. As I said I first tried this at the Grog Shop and fully intended on Drinkability: A mixture of flavors phoning in what I didn’t have. That is that even my wife enjoyed. It goes down when fate stepped in. As luck would sweet and smooth with a crisp finish. have it the wife and I were attending a The light body helps. It reminds me wedding in Vermont. As we drove passed of a cocktail. Refreshing and well the hotel and needed to find a place to balanced. turn around what do I see but a burning bush, a sweet beacon of hope—ok it was Confession #12: I have a crush on the just a sign for The Magic Hat Brewing rapper Trina. I even have several of her songs on my MP3 player.


In conclusion Wacko Summer Ale is almost the perfect summer beer. It has an oddball color and making. Its sweet taste and light body would make it a wonderful refresher on a hot summer day. Appearance: 5/5 Smell: 2/5 Taste: 5/5 Mouthfeel: 3/5 Drinkability: 4/5 Overall: 12/25 Now a few more confessions for the heck of it: I would totally tap (haha get it beer joke) Kelly Clarkson. Yeah Carrie Underwood too. I sleep in the nude. Oh and rarely wear underwear. I’m generally sure messy won’t use my reviews. When the new issues come out I read my stuff first. If I watch the video of the Florida Marlins winning the 1997 World Series I still get choked up. The night they won it I hugged a smelly, creepy old Cuban guy in the middle of a Florida street. As a young boy I played with cotton. I would make little people out of them.


25 Things to do in the Fall Kat Remick

W

hile most people feel that New Years is the best time to change or make resolutions, I don’t. I have always felt that Fall is the perfect time of year to start something new. Maybe it’s left over from years of school? As I’ve gotten older summer has lost some of the pizzazz that it once had, but Fall still feels like a time for personal reflection and growth. Here are some ideas to make the most of the fall season. 1. Make Pumpkin Pie- One fall day last year I was feeling down in the dumps. My mom suggested baking to put me in a better mood. It worked. I made a pumpkin pie for the first time. Here is why you should make a pumpkin pie. 1) They taste delicious. 2) They are good for you! Pumpkin is high in fiber. Just remember they are also high in sugar, so indulge in moderation. 3) They are super easy to make. 4) They are the epitome of fall. 2. Buy a “leather” Jacket- Brand new, Vintage or faux, whatever you prefer pick up a leather jacket in whatever style and color you prefer and then for heck of it, put on the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s song Zero and dance around your apartment/house. Then go out and do some of the things on this list.

3. Decorate a notebook- I’m in school, grad school, getting my Masters in Arts Administration. So, because I am in school I need to buy notebooks and binders etc. I like to glue inspiring pictures and words on my note books so in the likely event the professor bores me out of mind, I can go off into my Pisces fantasy file looking at my binder/notebook. Even if you aren’t in school you should buy a notebook and decorate it. You can begin a journal of your shenanigans. 4. Brew your own beer- My husband and I have wanted to do this for a while. I got inspired to finally do it this fall after a trip to Vermont for my cousin’s wedding. We accidentally stumbled upon The Magic Hat Brewing Company which was down the street (literally) from our hotel. We went on a tour of the microbrewery and it was pretty fun. Check out a book from the library or look up a recipe online and have fun! 5. Learn a foreign language- Since I have a loooooong commute to Akron for school, I have decided that I will finally fulfill my desire to learn French. What does my commute have to do with learning French you ask? I will be learning French via cd! It’s a multitaskers wet dream.


6. Go on a hike- Fall is my favorite time of the year. The air is crisp and the leaves are beautiful. It’s the perfect time of the year to be in the outdoors. If you’re lucky enough to live in Cleveland, then take this opportunity to explore the Metroparks. And don’t forget to bring a camera to capture your surroundings.

about a subject that interests you, you too can be an expert. Or so the experts say. 11. Make a quilt- When the temp drops and snow falls you’re going to need something to keep you warm and cozy.

12. Make soup- Soup is easy to make and the perfect meal on a crisp fall day. 7. Go to a Flea Market- I love thrift Make loads of it and you can freeze it stores and garage sales, but my favorite for a quick hardy meal on a different by far would have to be Flea Markets. I crisp fall day. have found some of my favorite treasures from flea markets. Even if you don’t 13. Have a horror movie marathon- I am buy a thing, it’s still a great place really an advocate of doing this any to browse. time of year, but the Halloween season seems most appropriate. 8. Change your hair style- Like I said before fall is the best time to make a 14. Carve a pumpkin- This Halloween change. Color? Cut? The works? Change tradition isn’t just for the kiddies. your hairstyle and create a new self Pick out a pumpkin, cut out the top and image. put your hands in the pumpkin guts. Then hack away at it and create a jack9. Create a trend- Don’t wait to be o-lantern masterpiece. inspired, use your imagination to inspire others. Maybe you decide not to 15. Roast pumpkin seeds- Take the pumpkin swear, wear your tie as a headband or guts and separate the seeds from the wear animal noses (my husband has dibs gunk and places them on a baking sheets on that one). that has been previously sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle seeds with sea 10. Become an expert in something – I salt and bake in the oven until seeds had a professor in college who became become crunchy, but not brown. the foremost authority on Cirque du Soleil in the United States. She didn’t 16. Make Plum Brandy- Tons of recipes even know it until one day she got online, check them out. All you need a phone call asking to interview her are three ingredients. Plums, Whiskey, because she was “the foremost authority and sugar. The best part is you can use on Cirque du Soleil.” How cool is that! cheap whiskey because you will let it If you take at least 10 minutes out of sit and ferment for a couple months. your day to keep updated and informed


17. Change your workout routine- You may think that because Fall is time to cover up that your workout can take a back seat, but if you stop to care about your workout then when you take off the parka, you just maybe be horrified at what is underneath. Don’t wait till the frost has thawed to get bathing suit ready. One way to make sure that you stick with your workout is to change things up. Take a yoga or Pilate’s class. Take up jogging. Use a hula hoop to get those abs you always wanted… Hell dance around your apartment naked every morning. Do whatever you need to do to keep things exciting. 18. Find your signature scent- Coco Chanel once said, “A woman who does not wear perfume has no future.” This may or may not be true, after all Ms. Chanel did make perfume for a living, but I do agree that there is something slightly transforming about wearing perfume. Marilyn and Liz wore Chanel # 5, Audrey wore Spring Flower by Creed and L'Interdit by Sure these ladies were memorable for other reasons then perfume, but the point is that they had a scent they were loyal to and they are icons. So choose your signature scent and become an icon, even if it’s in your own mind. 19. Paint a landscape- Take your canvas and paint and head outside to create a master piece full of beautiful jewel toned colors. 20. Head to the Zoo-spend a day at the zoo hanging with the monkeys. If

you live in Cleveland, then be sure to check out the animatronic dinosaurs on display at the Cleveland Metropark Zoo. 21. Go horseback riding- I haven’t been horseback riding in years, but doesn’t it sound like the perfect thing to do in the fall? 22. Join a book club- The art of discussion is dead. At least one on one face to face discussion. Join a book club and get your mind working. 23. Go to a gallery opening- Gallery openings can be the best places to get inspired. They are usually on Fridays and usually early in the evening so even if you decide that it isn’t your idea of a good time, you won’t have wasted an entire evening. Plus free wine, sometimes beer and food! 24. Go apple picking- Go to a local orchard and pick some apples. Patterson’s farm is one of my favorite places to do this. Please note: it is a very bad idea to go when you are hung over. I, unfortunately, know from experience. 25. Go on a hay ride- When I went to the Great Lakes Medieval Faire this summer I came across a sign for a haunted hay ride. I repeat a HAUNTED HAY RIDE. How awesome does that sound? If a haunted hay ride doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, you are in luck because Patterson’s fruit farm offers hay rides of the unhaunted variety.


untitled Vanessa LaValle


the designer consignor lauren Kirk

I

f you’ve never stopped in The Designer Consigner on Detroit Avenue in Lakewood, I highly suggest you find time to do it. Whether it is to drop off some of your clothes for consignment, or just a quick visit to scope out the racks, you won’t be disappointed. I had the opportunity to ask Molly Beargie, the owner, a few questions. Her answers

not only explain consignments shops to those that may not be familiar with the process, they also reflect on her passion for fashion and the inner workings of the shop. mm: Tell me a little bit about yourself, your background, and how you got into this industry.


Molly Beargie: I graduated from Ohio State in 2004 with a degree in fashion merchandising and business. After graduating, I worked at a different consignment store, where I helped computerize their inventory and accounting systems. I also started working on my MBA, but wasn't very happy in the program. That’s when my mom found a for sale ad in the Plain Dealer for what is now my store! I was 22 when I started the store. mm: Tell me a little about the shop. When did you open it? Why did you choose Lakewood? And why did you decide to open a consignment shop?

recycling clothing, and already had experience at a consignment store I decided it would be a great business for me! It turned out to be a good plan, since I now have a successful business, and I finally understand accounting! mm: Who is inspiration?

your

biggest

fashion

Molly Beargie: I purchased an existing consignment store called Westgate Resale in August 2005. I changed the name to The Designer Consignor right away. I absolutely love being in Lakewood - it has so many small businesses and the people who live Molly Beargie: There’s not really in the area really do their part to anyone in particular. support them. mm: Who is your favorite designer? I decided to go into business for I haven’t really been keeping up with myself to get out of grad school! new designers, but whenever I’m really I found the MBA program I was in to wowed by something in a magazine it’s be extremely manufacturing-focused usually Alexander McQueen. and I was having a really hard time relating. mm: What are you most excited to get in the shop? I figured what better way to learn about business than to run my own! Since I Molly Beargie: I have gotten some appreciate fashion, like the idea of really cool things in including Chanel


suits, Hermes leggings, and a vintage Pucci mini dress, but I’m always really excited when I get something in that for some reason is selling really well on eBay and I know it will come as a surprise to my consignor. For example, we got a Levi’s jacket from the 1940’s in, and I started it on eBay as an auction for $40, it ended up selling for something crazy like $300. The same thing happened with a vintage hand knit Ralph Lauren sweater. It went up to $300 and the consignor couldn’t believe it! mm: What are your top three favorite accessories and why? Molly Beargie: I just like unexpected and unusual accessories. I think vintage shoes or a bright belt with an otherwise plain outfit looks sharp. I had a customer come in wearing a casual summer dress with a black patent leather purse with a built in clock on it. It was amazing, I love weird stuff like that! mm: Name one dream piece you would add to your wardrobe if you could? Molly Beargie: A classic black quilted Chanel bag. How much interaction do you have with consignors and clients?


Molly Beargie: A lot! I have two employees - Irene, who worked for Westgate Resale for years before I bought my business, and Mary, my mom. I am always there during store hours (6 days a week), and I am the one that works with the consignors and decides what to take. We have over 1800 consignors now! My employees, Irene and Mary, are usually the ones to help the customers find what they are looking for.

add to an outfit to make it look more modern. I guess my least favorite would be shoulder pads. I've never been crazy about shoulder pads, but I keep hearing that they're coming back! mm: What fashion?

is

your

favorite

era

of

Molly Beargie: That’s so hard to answer! I genuinely appreciate the fashion from every era! I guess lately I’ve been into the 50’s look. I still mm: Please explain the consignment think that the greaser look for guys process for readers who may not be is cool and I love how feminine and familiar with consignment shops. put together the women’s styles are. Molly Beargie: People bring in their in-style clothes (that are in flawless condition), and I look through them while they wait and give them back anything I don’t feel we can sell or anything that we have too much of. We keep the items for two months and our consignors get paid 40 percent of the selling price after the item sells. We accept items seasonally and only during certain hours (our hours and policies are posted on our Web site, www.TheDesignerConsignor.net). What is your favorite trend? Least favorite? I love big statement jewelry. It’s something really easy that anyone can

mm: What would you like to see come back in style? Molly Beargie: I love vintage bathing suits... The one piece kind with little shorts or a skirt. I wish those would come back! mm: What do you wish would go away? Molly Beargie: Umm, crocs! I know they’ve mostly gone away, but there are still some people holding out! For more information, visit www.thedesignerconsignor.net.


Edward Sharpe and the magnetic zeros: up from below (Community Music / Fairfax Recordings / Rough Trade) Neon Indian: Psychic chasms (Lefse) Vanessa Aron

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confess whenever I listen to new music I usually visualize where, if it were to be on the soundtrack of my life, it would play. 50% of the time it’s usually at some sort of Carnevale celebración in South America. I credit this from watching The Lone Ranger way too many times as a child. The other 50% I’m in a convertible, or at least a car with a moon roof, driving in the mountains on a cool, clear starry summer night or at a rollerskating rink. I have two albums to highlight this issue. First up is the band Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Yes, that is Sharpe with an ‘e’ at the end. Maybe it’s actually Sharpè. Probably not. Anyways, this ten person band released their debut album ‘Up From Below’ on July 7, 2009. If you haven’t heard of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, perhaps you have heard of the band ImaRobot. Alex Ebert, lead singer for ImaRobot is also the lead singer for Edward Sharpe. However, listener take note, the sound and style of each band is very distinguishable and they have relatively no comparing factors save for Ebert’s vocals. Up From Below’ is complete with listener friendly tunes full of whistling and hand clapping. And if there is anything I love more while driving than clapping my

hands (only at red lights, of course) or whistling while my fellow transporters look on, well I’m not sure what it could be. First song,’40 Day Dream’ like any good prelude really introduces the album’s style and lays out the sound heard throughout ‘Up From Below’. There is a fine balance on ‘Up From Below’ between folk derived rock and indie pop. After ’40 Day Dream’ (and the lyric ‘jumper cable lips.’) Ebert and his friends provide the listener with several folk influenced song starting with the album track ‘Up From Below,’ the fun sing-along tune ‘Janglin’ followed by the brass infused (this is where the Carnevale visualization comes in) ‘Jade.’ After ‘Jade’ the album progresses toward an indie rock/ pop album. ‘Home,’ contains whistling, clapping, and a back and forth dialogue between Ebert and Jade Castrinos, lead female vocalist for the band. ‘Home’ is


also the first single off of ‘Up From (oxymoron?). The original version of Below.’ Listeners beware: this song ‘ALS’ is excellent and the remix is is super catchy and will get stuck in well, more excellent. your head. So I decided to do some more investigating Other songs to note are mostly instrument into this group. Neon Indian is the driven tunes which include ‘Desert new brainchild of producer/songwriter Song,’ ‘Om Nashi Me,’ ‘Kisses Over Alan Palomo of Vega and GhostHustler. Babylon’ and ‘Come in Please.’ This After falling through on a scheduled album may take a few listens to get ‘afternoon on acid’ with friend, into, but once you’re in, the balance of artist Alicia Scardetta, Palomo took Ebert’s voice against a backing brass to writing the song ‘Should Have Taken band and Castrino’s voice may make ‘Up Acid with You’ and Neon Indian was born. From Below’ a great Fall listen. You Although the song name is not the most can check out Edward Sharpe and the original, Neon Indian’s forthcoming Magnetic Zeros on their U.S. tour. They album “Psyhchic Chasms,” actually is. will be performing at the Kent Stage during the Kent State Folk Festival on Experimental in taste, majority of “Psyhchic Chasms” is minimal on November 12th. lyrics, heavy on digital keyboards and www.myspace.com/edwardsharpe digital abstraction. Palomo loves to change song tempos and speeds and it is evident throughout the 34 minute album. ‘Ephemeral Artery,’ ‘If I knew, I’d Tell You’ and ‘Deadbeat Summer’ all have similar tempo alterations. ‘Mind Drips’ and ‘Terminally Chill’ are both spacey multi-instrument, multi-media tunes that evoke ‘80’s video game sounds and even a twinge of Knight Rider (or at least for me.). Understanding the lyrics could be the only problem with “Psychic Chasms”. As a whole it’s dreamy, psychedelic, lounge out music. Perhaps we should all take to listen and relax? Next up is Neon Indian. After listening to Neon Indian’s cover of ‘Another Likely Story’ by Au Revoir Simone, I’ve kind of become a mini super fan

Neon Indian’s forthcoming album hits the streets October 13, 2009 on Lefse. Check out Palomo and Neon Indian and/or Vega, touring this fall and winter. www.myspace.com/neonindian


Scott Stein: Jukebox Lauren Kirk

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kron native, Scott Stein relocated to New York in 2007 where he has continued and fine tuned his career as a singer and pianist. 2009 brought Stein’s professional debut, Jukebox. The seven song LP is soft, smooth, and poetic. Rich lyrics blend nicely with the beats, neither overshadowing the other, as each song is highlighted by a variety of instruments that range from a Fender Rhodes and a cello, even all the way to a glockenspiel. Stein’s voice is clear and deliberate which allows emotion to sink into every song, most of which are about love. The backup vocals fit in place with his voice and his lyrics are not muddled or lost. The seven songs on Jukebox all hit with different tempos and styles, with Stein’s voice being the force that keeps it all together. It is easy to see why these songs were selected for the release. The faster songs are danceable while the slower tracks are perfect for singing along to, particularly track 3, Everytime I Fall. The duet, Saturday Saturday, with Shanna Zell, is an emotional track that will give you pause, while the opening track Cheap Red Wine is an instant attention grabber.

For fans of singer songwriters, this introspective album is full of substance. With songs that provoke a variety of emotion, there is probably a song on here that even the most hardened listener could sing, bob their head, or relate to. For more info check out: Scottsteinmusic.com or Myspace.com/scottstein


Confessions of a 28-year old Indie Faker “How I learned how to look cute in dresses from value-world and pretend I know half of what you do about music.” genna p

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et me tell you a secret. I have been to an Nsync concert. In my defense, I bought my sister tickets for her birthday, and joined her only so I could see what the inside of Browns stadium actually looked like. Years later, I moved to Cleveland, a town known for a triangular shaped building that is like some sort of consolation prize from the rock gods. Ok, we’re known for a little more than that, but something happened to me when I came here. I had to hide all of my Dieselboy and Deathcab cds and get with the freaking program. Somehow, I managed to slip in amongst legends. And though I was never really accepted, I think I’ve gotten to a place where they don’t point and laugh at me… to my face anyway.

can rattle off names and album cover details and release dates (and rerelease dates) and all of that crap. You have inspired me to take the road less taken when it comes to forming my very own relationship with the stuff I choose to listen to.

You see, me and music, we have a good thing going. It’s a little like this: some people like to go to church and think that they are closer to God or Allah or Jesus or the Jonas Brothers or whatever the kids are praying to these days. But me, I don’t need no stinking building to get closer to his holiness, Steven Patrick Morrissey. Does that make sense? Don’t tell me how to like it. If I’m playing it until the thing gets tired and I’m really enjoying it for the feelings it makes me feel, then I don’t care who drew the album art or who it sounds like or why you hate it I would like to thank my parents for or who the person that produced it is cultivating my love for all things sleeping with or whatever. Duran Duran, The Doors and Sly and the Family Stone, among others. I would On that note, I’m going to tell you a also like to thank the internet and, story of two records. Don’t call these more specifically Google, for helping reviews. I’m not educated or versed me learn about things on the fly…like enough to write a record review. However, when I’m g-chatting with some boy from and I confess, I sometimes pretend Pittsburgh that is silently judging that I am a music elitist, although me because I don’t know the words to I’m usually found out before it gets every Pavement song. And I would like too late. In fact, every time I meet a to thank you, the people who think that new boy that I think I kind of like, I you are something special because you take him to the record store for the


ultimate test. As long as his hands don’t touch something completely godawful, he might get a chance to wrap those same hands around something very important to me… my day planner- or at least maybe get inside of it. The Dodos- Time to Die: Frenchkiss I had my first Dodos experience in front of about 8 other people some time ago at Pats in the Flats. They were touring with Visiter, and blew my freaking mind. Hello indie folk frenzied dreamerville . That said, I don’t really like this follow up. I mean, I dig a vibraphone like any 28 year old woman with real living, breathing needs, but something feels different here. Everyone says that the Dodos have ‘evolved.’ I just feel like they produced themselves into boringville. Where is my disorderly

pulsating wonder machine? Time to Die is disappointing, to say the very least. Songs I like on this record: Jodi, Red and Purple, Paint the Rust… oh wait. Those are from Visiter. I don’t like any songs on this record. Also, the cover art reminds me of this one single color-specked tile in the bathroom of an apartment of a boy that stepped all over my heart… back when I had one. That said, ‘Time to Die’ makes me actually want to meet my maker or at least drink myself into a coma. The Grates- Teeth Lost, Hearts Won: Thirty Tigers I love the grates. And it’s not because they are from Australia. It’s because their music is catchy and features lots of handclaps. ‘Teeth Lost, Hearts Won’ doesn’t disappoint. And it’s probably because I’m easy and like swear words


and loudness, but maybe not. Remember that old urban legend that you shouldn’t put pop rocks in your mouth with soda? Well, that has nothing to do with this. But I would call it a nice exercise in pop rock (stress both parts). It’s a little heavier than ‘Gravity Won’t Get You High,’ but my girl crush on Patience Hodgson remains intact as she and her pals explore new ways to show off their strengths from down under. I think I might like this better than ‘Gravity,’ actually. Is that ok? Sure it is! Songs I like on the record: Aw Yeah, Burn Bridges, Carve your Name… yeah and Not Today kind of hits a nerve. Other things I’m jazzed about: Atlas Sound- Logos: Kranky Mystery of Two- S/T: Exit Stencil Islands- Vapours: Anti/Epitaph Paul Westerberg- PW & The Ghost Gloves Cat Wing Joy Boys : Dry Wood Music Kitty Daisy & LewisRecords/Sunday Best

S/T:

DH

Rain Machine- S/T: Anti/Epitaph The RaveonettesControl: Vice

In

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Question: Who still likes Pearl Jam? I mean really.


q&a with doctor rosen rosen Vanessa Aron it keeps me content while I sit, sweating in rush hour traffic. And like a kid with ADD I was more than ecstatic to find out the album was completely remixed by Doctor Rosen Rosen. Who doesn’t love a fresh twist on a good thing, especially when it sounds great?

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I had heard about this project sometime ago when I found the Doctor Rosen Rosen remix for Lily Allen’s song ‘Never Gonna Happen,’ and then got word that the entire album would also be released. (Check it out and download it free at http://doctorrosenrosen.com/) Because the haunting, eerie remix for ‘Never Gonna Happen’ stayed lodged in my head for quite sometime, I was determined to find more music by Doctor Rosen Rosen and couldn’t have been more pleased with what I uncovered. Catchy self-released originals with mucho 80’s synths and dirty dance beats (check out ‘Names’ off of the Volume I, Brooklyn Instrumental and ’Weekends’) landed on my Ipod next to emotion evoking remixes (check out Department of Eagles ‘1997’ remix).

ou know what I love? Remixes. I am super into remixes. But what I love even more than just any old remix is a remix done well. What is a well done remix you ask? One that doesn’t turn a song into a speeding hyper-driven repetitious nightmare where I feel like my cd is skipping, skipping, skipping.... This summer; I've lucked out as far as remixes are concerned. One of my favorite albums this summer season has been, Lily Allen’s ”It’s not Me, It’s You.” It’s fun, it’s catchy, Doctor Rosen Rosen released his full


remixed album entitled “It’s not Me It’s… Doctor Rosen Rosen” on his blog July 20, 2009. Since then over 5,500 people have gone and downloaded this awesome album. I recently chatted with the Doctor to learn more about the guy behind the music.

took Piano lessons when I was around 10, but didn't really get into making music until I got that yellow electric guitar for my 13th birthday. (purple rain = MASTERPIECE) mm: How did that lead to mixing and remixing? It sounds like this is somewhat a new thing that has come up within the past year and a half to two years. [Doctor Rosen Rosen was previously in the band The Handsome Public, based out of NYC. He did all the keyboards, production and split vocals with bandmate/friend Vickers Bastard Gringo.] Certainly a solid year and half on the books, though.

mm: So I have been doing so researching on you and I must say I'm quite intrigued. I was very intrigued after I listened to the Phoenix ‘Lisztomania’ remix as well as the Department of Eagles ‘1997’ remix. I can't seem to stop listening to either. I think you certainly have found a niche sound that you can call your own. What I'm interested in knowing is how the 80 influence comes in to play. I’ve read Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah, in high school quite a bit about you being inspired I started learning more about multitrack recording and using computers, by Prince? drum machine, and synthesizers to make Doctor Rosen Rosen: Is it that obvious? music. Gradually, this became my focus Hands down, Prince is my favorite (I stopped playing guitar regularly). artist of all time. I was the kid who So I've been making electronic music had a picture of Prince in his locker for over 14 years it's just I had in 7th grade. My first guitar was neon never done a remix until the last year. A friend of mine suggested I yellow because of Prince. try to remix Katy Perry's ‘I Kissed A mm: I think that's awesome. He's an Girl’ sort of as a joke/challenge. I amazing guitar player and amazing posted it on YouTube and it got a ton overall musician. Was the guitar your of hits... so I was like... hmmm this first instrument? (And I can listen might be a good way to get my name out to Purple Rain on repeat for days and there. Now I really enjoy remixes. days) mm: I think it’s something that is Doctor Rosen Rosen: Pretty much. I certainly current and in demand


especially with sites like rcrdlbl. com and the millions of music blogs. I know I always enjoy finding songs I love and hearing them in a different format based on different influences and styles. And mash-up artists are obviously huge now, too. So I guess in a sense it's sort of like the Pop Art movement for music. Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah. To be honest I'm pretty new to the whole "remix culture" and hopefully that has something to do with my success. I approach each remix as an opportunity to 1. Bring something new to the song 2. Showcase my musical voice. 3. Make it accessible / enjoyable to people ears. mm: Very cool. I have one more question before I want to talk about the Lily Allen project; or actually two. How did you get involved with the Chris Cornell remix (listen to it at http:// doctorrosenrosen.com/main/?p=132 )? Doctor Rosen Rosen: The Chris Cornell remix is the first official major label remix I did. An A&R guy from Interscope found me on Hype Machine and sent me an email. I was so excited to work on that track because the original was produced by Timbaland. So in the back of my mind I was thinking "I got to make this better than Timbaland did"... because I look up to him so much.

mm: Nice! It’s great to see that putting yourself out there on sites like hype, last.fm, and even twitter can yield positive results. mm: On your original material (Instrumental Volume 1: Brooklyn, Weekends, Eat Pray FU*K, etc.) are you singing the vocals? Doctor Rosen Rosen: Anything that is not a remix that is on my site or myspace (http://www.myspace.com/ drrosenrosenmusic) is my original material-- It is me singing. mm: So onto the Lily Allen album. Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah definitely mm: This project originally started with the remixes of four songs, and then it kept building? When did they idea of the whole album come into play? Doctor Rosen Rosen: Actually, I decided to do the whole album the second I heard that all of the parts were available... Once I started the project though, I hit a wall after about 4 remixes and was stuck creatively for about a month. mm: What were the first four songs?


say it’s matchy matchy. Overall what you have done totally fits the lyrics that she has presented. The album as a whole has a much more vulnerable, raw sound than her original LP. I think you kind of bring more of the emotion out of the lyrics. 'Never Gonna Happen' is so eerie. It’s almost haunting. Now I catch myself on several songs going back and really listening to the lyrics and paying much more attention Doctor Rosen Rosen: 1.’Who'd Of Know’ to them. You've really brought them 2.’Back To the Start’ 3.’The Fear’ out, where as on the original I’m jamming along because the beats are 4.’Not Fair’ fun and I’m just singing along not mm: Was the roadblock something where paying too much attention. the songs styles weren't matching? It’s pretty seamless, sound-wise. Doctor Rosen Rosen: ‘Never Gonna “Back to the Start” is pretty upbeat Happen’ is definitely one of my in comparison to the rest; but over favorites. I really love those lyrics and I think they become so much more all I think it's a seamless album. potent with the eerie backdrop I put Doctor Rosen Rosen: Actually the them on. roadblock was I was afraid the songs would sound too alike. So I think I was trying to take some of the songs into more "poppy" areas, but I kept coming back to this darker sound. Once I stopped fighting it and just went with my gut... the creative juices started flowing again. I'm glad the record (for the most part) has a sound, and isn't all over the place.

mm: Totally. Even ‘The Fear’ and ‘22’ emit much more emotion than the originals. I’ve been catching myself having to rewind and really listen to these lyrics when I'm driving around and then going saying ‘holy crap!’ Doctor Rosen Rosen: Ha!

mm: And Perez Hilton even mm: It totally does have it’s own something about you too? sound. It’s seamless, but I wouldn't

posted


Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah, Perez mm: I want to go back to the making of really got the ball rolling with one the album, where did the inspiration Tweet... come from? I know you wanted it to be a bit darker, which you achieved. mm: That's incredible. The power of But as far as starting each song, Perez Hilton, it’s shocking. did you focus on the lyrics first, the original music, how did building mm: And now you're remixing your process start? remixes with people's comments? Can you tell me about that? Doctor Rosen Rosen: The first step for me is getting the vocals on a timeline Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah just started set to the proper tempo. Once that doing that... kind of a fun way to try is set up I'll loop a phrase I like to engage people‌that is until Lily and start trying to find a melody or Allen leaves a message. bassline that seems to fit. I tried to NOT listen to the original arrangements mm: Will you remix each song? unless I got really stuck. So for the most part the songs are totally Doctor Rosen Rosen: As the voicemails inspired by her lyrics or tone of her come it I'm gonna post them. voice or emotion in her voice. mm: And she hasn't left a message yet, mm: Did hear the album prior to making I'm shocked! She must know by now. the record? Doctor Rosen Rosen: Then I will flood Doctor Rosen Rosen: Yeah, I listened the internet with her voicemail remixed to it once all of the way through. I 1,000 different ways got to say I'm a big fan of Gre Kurstin who produced all of the tracks. I mm: Where did you get the idea to never imported the CD into my Itunes integrate voicemail messages? Any though, just kept it in my car drunk messages? mm: Interesting. And you are a producer Doctor Rosen Rosen: I was trying to yourself, correct? Is that your full think of something fun and I got an time gig? email from Google inviting me to use Google Voice. No drunk messages yet. Doctor Rosen Rosen: Right now I'm a full time musician whether I'm


remixing, producing tracks for myself, or producing tracks for other artists Doctor Rosen Rosen: Ha! Thanks so much. it is all good :) I drink way too much Mt. Dew... I don't know why they haven't sponsored mm: So what's on the horizon for you? me yet. Are you playing any shows? Do you play out in LA a lot? mm: HAHAHA! Maybe with time. Go to http://www.doctorrosenrosen. Doctor Rosen Rosen: I just started com/ to download “It’s Not Me…It’s putting together a new show that will Doctor Rosen Rosen” and check out his focus much more on my production/remix other remixes and originals, NOW! work, that I will start playing out in September. Other than that, I've been working on a lot of collaborations that you will hopefully start to see soon (I don't want to jinx anything though) and there will be a ton of new remixes in the next few months. mm: Are you looking for a label to carry you? Or are you planning on a self release? Doctor Rosen Rosen: Well the remix work will show up on various labels, as far as my own work, my team and I are still navigating those waters... It would obviously be amazing to stay independent-- but at the same time there are some labels doing pretty exciting things we'll see. mm: Good to hear. Well, I think you're doing a fine job self promoting! Is there anything I haven't covered that the world should know about Doctor Rosen Rosen?

pennywise Kevin Kopanski


datarock grog shop september 12, 2009 photo by: vanessa Aron


q&a with mike barna Vanessa Aron There are some people who would be willing to give away house and home, parents and unborn children, ethics and morals, and all shreds of creative integrity to get a quick shot at fame and fortune. Make it big off one, three minute tune and you’re kicking back and sitting pretty for a few months maybe even a few years if you’re lucky. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with bringing the green home, and it seems everyone is hustling and working hard these days. But with all of the radiofed, mechanical, and mass consuming music built for every brain-dead tween, teen, young adult and everyone else interested in brain rot, one has to wonder where all of the wonder, integrity, and for goodness sake, the CREATIVITY in music went. Probably Brooklyn. Just Kidding. Thankfully, there are still people out there who care about creativity and originality like musician and composer, Mike Barna. Mike is Cleveland based and lives and works out of his quaint house that is fully equipped with a petite studio in a spare bedroom. Barna creates music for himself and anyone else that is willing to listen. The music is not very radio friendly and Barna is happy with that fact. “I really hope to not accomplish anything, really. I do it for myself. There is

virtually no commercial value to it…You’re fooling yourself when you start writing for other people” Barna states. “You lose the entire creative base.” Barna works from a stream of ever-evolving consciousness. Like any true artist, he is constantly working and constantly creating. “It all comes down to an idea…Sometimes it’s whole, but a lot of times it’s not,” Barna comments. At any given time he is working on multiple projects. Some may be quick spitfire-like projects that take relatively little time, and then he has projects on the books from several years ago just waiting to be finished. Barna is currently hovering around the creation of 25 albums worth of music. And there is more yet to be written. ”When you are playing all the time, you’re bound to have a ton of material,” Barna jokes. Barna’s inspiration, motivation, and creativity are constantly changing processes that shape and challenge him. “If you wait around for inspiration, it will never really come,” says Barna. “Ideas come from anywhere, chords, drawings, etc.” One of Barna’s most beloved ‘inspirations’ however, is the rabbit. Seen more in his visual work rather than musical work, the rabbit is a prevalent and constant muse. Barna has written entire albums based on the animal. You can listen to ‘Lucky 13 Rabbits Foot’ on his myspace (myspace. com/mikebarna). Other influences seem to


blow in the wind. Be that a laugh in a projects rather than standard listening backroom, the ticking of a clock, dreams, music, evokes the same feel of something etc. visual found in a contemporary gallery, pushing his listeners into a realm of music Barna began his musical adventure back in as art. Check out his latest works on his sixth grade gaining motivation to pick myspace page: myspace.com/mikebarna. up a guitar after watching Eddie Van Halen wail on his during the MTV glory days. After a brief lull and departure from playing, Barna took to the guitar full time, eventually creating music for body building contests and weddings before enrolling at the Berkley School of Music in Boston. There, Barna ‘caught the composition bug’ and began to mix and blend multiple instrumentation into what he has label it as ‘organized sound.’ These days, the music Barna creates is considered avant-garde; however, this is a term he is not completely comfortable with. Pushing the envelope of experimental music, I am confident in saying Barna’s music could be shown, and listened to, in a gallery setting. Many of songs use narratives rather than lyrics, an attribute Barna prefers due to the abstract, natural vocal state. One of his latest vocal creations is the multi-movement project titled “Unidentified Flying Greek Goddess.” Barna began working on this project after witnessing a shooting star. Each movement varies in length with the first movement lasting over 13 minutes. For this project, Barna laid multiple guitars over multiple vocals creating an eerie almost spooking product. His

style,

considered

more

like

sound


Cass Mccombs and the walkmen The beachland ballroom july 23, 2009 photos by: vanessa Aron


yeah yeah yeahs The house of blues july 28, 2009 photos by: vanessa Aron


ra ra

grog

photo


a riot

g shop september 13, 2009

o by: vanessa Aron

i confess... mixtape: side2 19)

Vetiver- I know No Pardon

20)

Celebration- Pressure

21)

The Flaming Lips- Guy Who Got a Headache and Accidentally Saves the World

22)

Bitter:Sweet- Dirty Laundry

23)

Gang of Four- Damaged Goods

24)

Soulsavers- Some Misunderstanding

25)

Lemonheads- Confetti

26)

John Doe- The Unhappy Song

27)

Aimee Mann- Satellite

28)

Throw Me the Statue- Your Girlfriend’s Car

29)

Uncle Tupelo- We’ve Been Had

30)

Billy Bragg- A New England

31)

Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps- Five Months Too Long

32)

Oh No! Oh My!- I Have No Sister

33)

Laura Marling- New Romantic

34)

Parts & Labor- Ghosts Will Burn

35)

The Slew- Shackled Soul

36)

The Thermals- I Let it Go


Building Bridges Fine Arts Classes Art of Comics Instructor: Kevin Czapiewski 6 classes on Thursdays September 24 – October 29 6:30 – 8:30pm

and sometimes a simple quirky connection; just imagine what it does to the creator.

Evident inspiration for Johnny is Mid-century style. This, along with traditional gouache painting techniques and digital media make his work truly unique. His success as an artist is from a rounded source of interests. Johnny’s paintings and This course will focus on the growing medium of comics by sculptural works are exhibited in galleries internationally. His examining how they work and what they are capable of. We’ll commercial work spans advertising to entertainment. The take a look at the history as well as the specific qualities of the exhibition runs Friday, October 2 - Friday, October 30. medium in the form of comics of all different kinds, (including newspaper strips, webcomics, manga, bande dessinée, graphic novels, abstract comics, and more) as well as texts 78th Street Studios Experience October 9-10, 2009 that explore just what comics are. Meanwhile, students will WHAT 78th Street Studios Experience develop, write and produce their own comic, informed by what A quarterly event showcasing west-side Cleveland’s largest art center, home to world class art galleries, artist studios, they learn throughout the class. and creative businesses Courses are $150 for the 6 weeks. To register or find out more WHEN Friday, October 9th 5:30-9:00 pm Saturday, October 10th 1:00-5:00 pm information, contact Wendy Fedan at wfedan@earthlink.net WHERE 78th Street Studios www.78streetstudios.com 1300 W. 78th St to 1305 W. 80th St Cleveland OH 44102 The Bonfoey Gallery (West end of Gordon Square Arts District, one block north of Lake Ave) Free parking in lots north & south of building Celebrated Cleveland artist, Joseph O’Sickey, will be exhibiting his work at The Bonfoey Gallery, 1710 Euclid Avenue. This Director’s Choice 2009 exhibition, titled In the Light, will be on view in both our street Kenneth Paul Lesko Gallery and lower level galleries from October 16 through November Extended & Revised, October 9-November 12, 2009 28, 2009. An opening reception with the artist will be held A selection of paintings and sculpture from the finest pieces Friday, October 16, from 5:30 to 7:30 pm. in the gallery collection. Plus, a preview of our Cleveland School Exhibition that will run through the holidays, November On November 11, 6:00 pm, join us for an evening with Mr. 18, 2009 - January 2, 2010. O’Sickey, as he reflects on his lengthy artistic career. The evening will be moderated by his good friend, Fred Griffith. All Creatures Great & Small: Natural History Subjects through the Eyes of Artists Shoparooni Presents: Johnny Yanok Kokoon Arts Gallery Opening night Friday, October 2nd from 7-11pm October 9, 2009-January 9, 2010 An outstanding exhibition of artwork depicting animal life Shoparooni is proud to have Johnny’s never seen before by historic and contemporary artists. Prints, paintings and sculptures by Alexander Wilson, John James Audubon, recent works in our Annex Gallery. Walter Anderson, Robert Hainard, Paul Travis, William E. To see Johnny Yanok not wearing a gentle smile would be Scheele,, Larry Isard, David Rankin, Michael Nekic, Keri a rarity. When experiencing his work it is clearly understood Gortz, Alfredo Arreguin, Ray Troll and Northwest Coast Indian where the contagious grin comes from. His art brings the will be included. viewer to a wonderful place of humor, a twinkle of years past


Matt Dibble: Paintings & Construction and New Acquisitions | Fall 2009 Tregoning & Company North Gallery - Matt Dibble – Paintings and Constructions continues through October 10th South Gallery - New Acquisitions | Fall 2009 through October

Front Room Gallery: Terra non Firma Opening Friday October 9th 5p.m. – 10p.m.

The artists in Terra Non Firma address the subject of landscape, one of the most traditional of painting genres, through various styles that are personal and distinctly contemporary. It is not by Terra non Firma accident that these artists have developed their own personal legation, a gallery vocabulary within a conventional format. It has been achieved October 9-November 29, 2009 through an ongoing exploration and the desire to connect the An exhibit featuring fifteen contemporary landscape artists: medium’s past with the present, allowing for an immediate, Jerry Birchfield, Kristin Bly, Judith Brandon, Amy Casey, Andy singular experience. Curlowe, Hilary Aurand, John Haughwout, Megan Herwig, Jess Langley, Mark Keffer, Matt Kolodziej, Christine McCullough, Ideas of primary concern are regarding instability and Josh Rex, Alex Tapie, and Doug Utter. This exhibit addresses permutation. Throughout these artists’ works are examples of landscape on a personal and contemporary format, as the transition. There is a sense of disquietude or of expectations artists flirt with abstraction and unexpected content. While being subverted, occurring often from recognized forms flirting none of the work is overtly political, there is a sense that the with abstraction or unexpected content. This brings about an world around us is in upheaval and that uncertainty currently opportunity for the viewers to respond to the work empirically exists on local, national and international levels. and metaphorically. While none of the work is overtly political, there is a sense of the world around us in upheaval. There are Legation, a gallery and Front Room Gallery (3615 Superior echoes of the uncertainty that currently exist on local, national Ave. 44114) have collaborated to host the event, which opens and international levels. at both locations on October. 9th. Live music by Brian Straw (www.myspace.com/brianstraw) Friday at 8:30pm at legation. Terra non Firma will be running at both Legation Gallery and Front Room Gallery Simultaneously to bridge the gap between “The BG 4” 2-D Show east and west through one collaborative show. Live music by 1300/Third Gallery Brian Straw at Legation following the opening. October 9-10, 2009 Bowling Green State University alumni, Trelawney O’Brien Legation, a gallery is located at 1300 D W 78th St. Cleveland, (photography), Jeff Sierputowski (photography), Benjamin OH 44102 2nd floor of 78th St. Studios Haehn (painting/ silkscreening) and Keith Slaby (painting/ printmaking) exhibit 2-D works. Each artist lives/works in Closing Reception- November 28, 6-9pm Cleveland, Ohio. Food, spirits and music will be provided. Artists: Cleveland Museum of Art: Paul Gauguin: Paris, 1889 Hilary Aurand Jessica Langley When: Oct. 4, 2009 - Jan. 18, 2010 Judith Brandon Mark Keffer Tue, Thu, Sat & Sun 10am-5pm, Wed & Fri 10am-9pm Jerry Birchfield Matt Kolodziej Kristin Bly Christine McCullough This landmark exhibition gathers about 75 paintings, works Amy Casey Joshua Rex on paper, woodcarvings, & ceramics by Paul Gauguin & his Andrew Curlowe Alex Tapie contemporaries to explore how the artist created his signature Megan Herwig Douglas Max Utter style during the year 1889


Low Life Halloween Spooktacular Group Art Show. Opens with a reception on Oct. 10th from 6-10pm. Artists include Adam Dumont, Scott Pickering, Stella, Chris Rutan, Jake Kelly, Rick Sans, Zack Vermin, Ashely Arsenic, Terrance Stoidemeyer, Marlee Brown and more. Over 40 artists from 5 different states. Low Life, 16001 Waterloo Road, Cleveland.

works in glass, ceramics, mosaics, jewelry, fiber art, prints and paintings as well as clothing.

The Lake Erie Building Holiday Open Studio includes work from over 20 resident artists including: Ann Brown, Gina DeSantis, Robert Durr, Michael Hudecek, Peter Jennings, Karen JewellKett, Phyllis Kohring Fannin, Chad Hansen, Marc Konys, Chrissy Slavic Village: The Taste of Slavic Village Lapossy, Level Design, Christine Mason, Michelle Mowery, The Taste of Slavic Village will be held on October 8, from M.C. Nagel, Mary Beth Norton, Nadine Norton, Shannon Okey, 6-8PM at Bohemian National Hall (4939 Broadway Ave Steve Ollay, Ann Onusko, Arabella Proffer-Vendetta, Dan Pruitt, Cleveland, OH 44127-1168). Proceeds benefit the Hunger Kari Sanford & Kate Tobin. Visiting artists include: Elizabeth Center of University Settlement. Emery, Frank’n stuff, Mallorie Freeman, Erika Kleinhart, Kylee Koszela, Deborah Pinter, Sandy Millman, Alicia Nagel, Suzanne Akron Art Museum Sebold, Second Saturday Artists, Ruth Sholtis-Furyes, Small Rethinking Art: Objects & Ideas from the 1960s & 70s Screen Designs, Nancy Spotts, Udella Spotts, Bart Virtunski & Jun. 6, 2009 - Oct. 4, 2009 Cheryl Weinstein. Live music from Casual Encounters & Mark Artwork by 10 artists from the collections of the Akron Art Kleinhaut. Museum & the Allen Memorial Art Museum at Oberlin College, including several key thinkers from the 1960s & 70s. One South Oddmall November 7, 2009, 10am-6pm High St, Akron Oddmall is more than just an ordinary craft show. It’s a celebration of uniqueness, creativity, imagination, and wonder Kent State University Fashion Museum: Michael Kors Designs from Wendy Zuckerwise Ritter Collection. where artists, crafters, and like-minded sorts gather to offer their unusual creations for public consumption. It’s a forum Feb. 26, 2009 - Nov. 2, 2009 Among the garments on exhibition is a dress very similar to for creative expression, a classroom for esoteric wisdom, a the one First Lady Michelle Obama wore for the first official soapbox for wild ideas, a miraculous marketplace of the unconventional, a metaphorical Serengetian watering hole portrait: a double-faced sleeveless navy wool dress a classic where the zebras and wildebeests of inspiration and artistry Kors design. congregate amidst the snapping crocodiles and scorching Rockwell Hall, Kent sunbeams of originality and ingenuity. ...umm yeah. Anyway, it’ll be fun. Trust me. Clarion Hotel and Conference Center, Cedar Lee: 240 East Hines Hills Road, Hudson, Ohio 44236 Cleveland Italian Film Festival 2009 Oct. 1, 2009 - Oct. 8, 2009 Bazaar Bizarre 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Hts. Saturday, December 1, non until 9pm Crime & Punishment Cemetery Walking Tour Oct. 11, 2009 at 2pm Ghostly tales of early Cleveland murders & mysteries. Monroe Street Cemetery, 3207 Monroe St, Ohio City, (216) 961-0563

Sincere Building, 2079 East 4th Street

Dissatisfied with stencils of country ducks and painted wooden slices of watermelon, a hodge-podge of friends started the Bazaar Bizarre craft fair in Boston in 2001. Seven years later the event is still growing in popularity and has now Screw Factory Artists’ Studios spread to Cleveland, Los Angeles and San Francisco. This The artists of the Lake Erie Building are hosting an open studio year, Bazaar Bizarre Cleveland moved to a new location as event on Saturday, November 7th from 3-9pm. Included are part of Pop Up City.


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90‘ llaF

Issue 5 'Two Sentence Confession'  

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