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TONIGHT’S ACTION

6:00 Doors open 7:00 Bout begins 7:35 Halftime performance by Pezz *After-party pub crawl at Dish, Celtic Crossing, and the Young-Avenue Deli

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Sand-Storm #6714 Captain

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Your Mom # E117 Co-Captain

Akilles Wheel #1213 Co-Captain

Bad JuJu #74

Bloody Elle #4311

Carly Manson #603

Demi Automatic #9mm

General Pain #5star

Jill ‘em All #808

Kinky Kinevil #420

The Punish Her #467

Ragin Caucasian #216

Roxy Codone #5mg

Unabobber Head Coach

B-rad Assistant Coach

Tenacious B. #Live2Sk8

Sgt. Red Trainer

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Rolls e Royc

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Rolls e Royc

Rolls e Royc

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Cutthroat Cutie #4E Co-Captain

Lil Cinner #24 Captain

Candy Crunch #22

Cat Claus #79

Manda Malice #7”

Mempho Maniac #1

She Devil #666

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The Victator #138

Jonjitsu Head Coach

Brooken Bones #911

Cori Heartless #1984

Gwen Reaper #13

Rollanya Asse #5677

Shawty Dirty 99

Wheelie Wonka #70

Zell Bent #4-11

Satan’s Monkey Assistant Coach

Dead Man SkatinTrainer

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➜ 2008 Play-offs Recap Bracket Busting Women destruct PKPs, AODs hold firm against Z-Girls

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By Power Drop; photos by Jim Duong and Michael Breeden

ournament brackets were the order of the day in Memphis on April 5th. The University of Memphis Tigers were looking forward to a battle in the NCAA championship and Memphis Roller Derby was putting on two bouts to determine the same in their league. The worry was the basketball game would hurt the derby door. Not to worry, the faithful were in attendance and after Doc Derby announced the Tiger’s 78 to 63 victory during the first period of the first bout, the stragglers poured in. The Rock-nRenegades of the Central Arkansas Roller Derby made the trip from Little Rock and wanted to report, “We love Memphis Roller Derby. They have always shown our team support and we like to return the love.” The night kicked off with the Angels of Death taking on the Legion of Zoom in a game that was almost a replay of their February 2nd meeting. Once again, the Z-girls found themselves peering into the abyss of the AOD’s depth and did their best to grind it out. The Z-girls got knocked around soundly and play was briefly stopped a couple of times for Robin N Stealin and Rolls Royce to regain their feet. The EMTs said they were surprised that there hasn’t been a trip to the hospital caused by the recent change to the Fairground’s concrete rink. Brooken Bones of the AODs led all with 12 advantageous blocks followed closely by The Victator’s 11. Brooken also led the league with seven whips. The Legion did return licks with Kel Diabla posting nine advantageous blocks and Robin ‘n’ Stealin’ posting eight. Smashimi provided

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AODS

five whips. Rollanya Asse of the Angels got the sniper award and led all pivots for the evening with four jammer take outs. Lil’ Cinner scored 84 points for the Angels; Cutthroat Cutie and Wheelie Wonka had impressive outings with 48 and 24 points respectively. Lil’ Cinner also had the highest scoring jam for the AODs with two jams of 15 points each. The final score was 174 to 27 and the Angels were the first to qualify for the finals. Jonjitsu, head coach of the AODs was unusually candid and said, “There are two types of derby players – the quick and the losers, and we are the quick.” The second frame brought the PrissKilla Prezleys and the Women of Mass Destruction to the fore. The PKPs were only able to skate eight players; it was their turn for an uphill fight. Shawty and Bella Trixx tied for the PKP scoring leader with 12 each. The PKPs believe in sharing and the highest scoring jams were held by Susan 4a Bruisin’, Bella Trixx, and Shawty each with four points; Shawty doing it twice. Blownfuse held down two categories for the Prezleys with five whips and five advantageous blocks. La Sucia, blocker for the PKPs, was the only player to be ejected. The Women of Mass Destruction have their jammers on a cyclic rotation and Saturday saw Ragin Caucasian score 36, Your Mom 21 and Akilles Wheel 27 – rolling in that order. Ragin Caucasian also had the highest scoring jam for the WMDs with ten. Bloody Elle provided eight advantageous blocks and three blocker take outs, as well as scoring 13 points as jammer for the Women of Mass Destruction. Too bad she missed pivot duties! The night ended with the WMDs taking this one 98 to 28 and feeling like they could whip the world. The Unabobber, the WMD’s head coach, is looking forward to the April 26th match with the AODs and told all, “The championship will be all about hitting. It’s all about stopping the jammers, and we are going to do just that. Be afraid.” The brackets are complete; no more speculation needed and although there were no upsets, the pageant was fun to behold. The WMDs are planning for an upset and the AODs never give anyone any slack, least of all to the WMDs – the finals are sure to be a war.

WMDS

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REFEREES

The Panti-.Christ

Captain Howdy

Disco Lizard

Head Ref

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Judge Booty #201

Nicole Bitchie #12 Steps

Nunya Bizness #7609

OffKilter #20x6

Orlando Boom

Skillz That Killz

The Watch Her

Roli Spicoli

Medieval Torture

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DISCLAIMER Floor seating around the track is a great way to see all the action, but it’s only for people 19 and over. You might get a falling Derby Girl in your lap or get kicked, so you may sit at the 10 ft. marking AT YOUR OWN RISK. WE MEMPHIS ROLLER DERBY AND MIDSOUTH FAIRGROUNDS CLAIM NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR INJURY. Children are not allowed in floor seating. All children must be accompanied by an adult at all times. Be kind, please keep all food away from track and surrounding areas. NO SMOKING INSIDE but outside permitted.

UPCOMING EVENTS BOUT DATES

may 18, 2008 — memphis Hustlin Rollers vs. Dixie Derby Girls at Huntsville may 31, 2008 — memphis Hustlin Rollers vs. Hard Knox Rollergirls at Knoxville june 7, 2008 — Memphis Hustlin Rollers vs. Central Arkansas Rock-n-Renegades Get More Information at www.MemphisRollerDerby.Com

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Z-Girls

want to thank whorecules, Rolie, and MGK for a great rebuilding season.

If losing looks this good, what will winning look like? Here’s to next season.

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✷ Never had a chance to join a sorority (or a gang for that matter)? Well, here’s your chance to become a part of the most badass sisterhood in town. Memphis Roller Derby is looking for a few good women to dust off their old speed skates and join the ranks. Being a derby girl takes a lot of time and dedication. A LOT. We have league practices every Tuesday night and individual team practices on weekends. We bout approximately once every three weeks. Memphis Roller Derby is a business run by the skaters for the skaters. We don’t just want your blood, sweat, and tears, we want your time and your money. Each skater must join a committee, help organize and run the bouts along with multiple fundraisers and PR events. Each skater must pay $25 per month in league dues, buy her own uniform, skates, pads, knee socks, fish nets, cute panties, and gas. Memphis Roller Derby is not for everyone. Injuries are common. So are break ups. But the rewards are endless. MRD will likely introduce you to women who will become lifelong friends, give you valuable business skills, whip your ass (and legs) into the best shape of your life, never leave you lonely on a Friday night, and bring you a substantial amount of fame. Interested girls (21 and older) are encouraged to email their name, phone number, and skating experience to recruits@ memphisrollerderby.com. New recruits will immediately be invited to skate with the league. Each recruit will be required to wear a helmet, mouth guard, elbow pads, knee pads, and wrist guards. (Some equipment is available for loan.) Before skating, each recruit will be required to pay $45 for league dues and USARS insurance, then $25 per month after that. The recruitment committee will work with each skater on drills and give approval for scrimmaging based on individual skills/progress. Once a skater has successfully participated in scrimmages, she will be invited to try-out. Try-outs are held once a month. Skaters will be placed on teams based on need or through a draft process. Skaters will not have a choice as to which team they will be placed on. Memphis Roller Derby: Takin’ Care of Bitches.

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2008-04-26 MRD Bout Program