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如何解决孩子的青春期问题 How to Resolve the Issues of Adolescence

parents who may not have realistic

not do badly at school at purpose – if

academic expectations for their

a child is not fulfilling their potential it


is important to ask why, and for us all – parent, pupil and school alike – to ask

Q: What are the main causes of these

ourselves what part we have played


in this. Academic under-achievement

A: Wider cultural issues can be a

does not happen in isolation.

contributing factor to a teenager ’s

sense of unworthiness or isolation.

Q: In the process of educating

Popular culture at the moment is

children, how should parents play

very judgmental (stop for a moment

different roles?

to consider shows like American Idol

A: Read to them every day, until they

for instance and the way in which

are old enough to read to you instead.

they encourage and thrive on the

Make sure the home environment

humiliation of contestants). However,

gives them access to news, books,

parents often also have a role to

music and conversation. Help them

play in that they may not appreciate

with their homework, but never do it for

that children mature and are ‘ready’

them. Always be encouraging, but do

for academic success on vastly

not reward or recognize a lack of effort.

different timescales, and that therefore they need sometimes to be more

Q: If children are very rebellious, how


should parents deal with? A: Teenagers who are rebellious are

Q: Regarding these problems, how

very often expressing, in the only way

should the school deal with?

they know how, a profound sense

A: Schools have a responsibility to

of disappointment – at themselves,

set pupils individual, challenging and

at you, at school, at ‘ the system’.

yet realistic targets. We also have a

Discovering the source of this sense of

duty to communicate these targets

disappointment can often be the first

effectively to parents and pupils alike.

step towards engaging with a difficult

A school should also strive to provide

adolescent. You may not like the

an environment where pupils feel ‘safe’

answer but if you want to help them to

– that is where failure is neither feared

move on, you must ask the question.

nor ignored and is seen as part of the learning process, but also a climate where every success – no matter how small – is celebrated.

Discovering the Source of the Problem "Discovering the source of the problem is the first step towards engaging with a difficult adolescent," Mr. Mark Angus told Villas Life.


Q: Regarding these problems, Q: What are the common problems

how should the parents do? How

of adolescent children?

to communicate with the children

A: Children can often feel intimidated


by what they perceive as the success

A: Parents should aim to work with

of others (however inconsequential

schools and to remember that their

or ephemeral such ‘success’ may

child’s first instinct always is to please

be). They feel that they are not good

them. Therefore, they should seek to

enough, or that they don’t deserve

recognize and acknowledge this fact

happiness. Children can also feel

above all else, even when it seems as

under pressure from (well-meaning)

if the opposite is true. Most children will

Mr. Mark Angus Principal of The British International School, Shanghai

Villas Life/March 2010 61

Cadogan and Hall Archive - Difficult Children  

An interview discussing strategies for dealing with unsettled teenagers.

Cadogan and Hall Archive - Difficult Children  

An interview discussing strategies for dealing with unsettled teenagers.