如何解决孩子的青春期问题 How to Resolve the Issues of Adolescence
parents who may not have realistic
not do badly at school at purpose – if
academic expectations for their
a child is not fulfilling their potential it
is important to ask why, and for us all – parent, pupil and school alike – to ask
Q: What are the main causes of these
ourselves what part we have played
in this. Academic under-achievement
A: Wider cultural issues can be a
does not happen in isolation.
contributing factor to a teenager ’s
sense of unworthiness or isolation.
Q: In the process of educating
Popular culture at the moment is
children, how should parents play
very judgmental (stop for a moment
to consider shows like American Idol
A: Read to them every day, until they
for instance and the way in which
are old enough to read to you instead.
they encourage and thrive on the
Make sure the home environment
humiliation of contestants). However,
gives them access to news, books,
parents often also have a role to
music and conversation. Help them
play in that they may not appreciate
with their homework, but never do it for
that children mature and are ‘ready’
them. Always be encouraging, but do
for academic success on vastly
not reward or recognize a lack of effort.
different timescales, and that therefore they need sometimes to be more
Q: If children are very rebellious, how
should parents deal with? A: Teenagers who are rebellious are
Q: Regarding these problems, how
very often expressing, in the only way
should the school deal with?
they know how, a profound sense
A: Schools have a responsibility to
of disappointment – at themselves,
set pupils individual, challenging and
at you, at school, at ‘ the system’.
yet realistic targets. We also have a
Discovering the source of this sense of
duty to communicate these targets
disappointment can often be the first
effectively to parents and pupils alike.
step towards engaging with a difficult
A school should also strive to provide
adolescent. You may not like the
an environment where pupils feel ‘safe’
answer but if you want to help them to
– that is where failure is neither feared
move on, you must ask the question.
nor ignored and is seen as part of the learning process, but also a climate where every success – no matter how small – is celebrated.
Discovering the Source of the Problem "Discovering the source of the problem is the first step towards engaging with a difﬁcult adolescent," Mr. Mark Angus told Villas Life.
Q: Regarding these problems, Q: What are the common problems
how should the parents do? How
of adolescent children?
to communicate with the children
A: Children can often feel intimidated
by what they perceive as the success
A: Parents should aim to work with
of others (however inconsequential
schools and to remember that their
or ephemeral such ‘success’ may
child’s first instinct always is to please
be). They feel that they are not good
them. Therefore, they should seek to
enough, or that they don’t deserve
recognize and acknowledge this fact
happiness. Children can also feel
above all else, even when it seems as
under pressure from (well-meaning)
if the opposite is true. Most children will
Mr. Mark Angus Principal of The British International School, Shanghai
Villas Life/March 2010 61