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No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. ~ George Bernard Shaw

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Playmates George knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered he asked, “Can Albert come out to play?” “No,” said the mother, “it’s too cold.” “Well, then,” said George, “can his football come out to play?”

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Not every astronaut has a PhD or is a member of MENSA. The minimum education requirement to be eligible as an astronaut candidate is a Bachelor’s degree. Considering how many photos astronauts take during the course of a spaceflight, a Photography Degree might come in handy! Disregarding Honorary Doctorates bestowed, the highest education for all seven original Mercury astronauts was a Bachelor’s Degree. The first astronaut with a Master’s Degree to fly was Ed White, the United State’s first space-walker, on Gemini 4. The first person to fly in space with a PhD was Buzz Aldrin, who earned a Doctorate of Astronautics at MIT.

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The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. ~ Jim Roh

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An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. ~ Pope John Paul I

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Best Boot Forward A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?” The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?” With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from across the street.”

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HAVE A QUESTION? OR WANT A QUOTE?

Daffy Affirmations For The Unstable

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I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

The Psychology Experiment on Birds An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game. The referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. ~ Carl Gustav Jung

Texting Top Senior Texting Codes * ATD - At the Doctor’s * BFF - Best Friend’s Funeral * BTW - Bring the Wheelchair * BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth * DWI - Driving While Incontinent * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * FYI - Found Your Insulin

Riddle

Moonlight Brewing

Unexpected set backs happen all the time. So how do we turn some of these ‘lemons into lemonade’ as it were? Tell the truth in your marketing when you have a set back. Here’s a good example; James Webb Young started selling fruit by mail order many years ago. He tells the story of an apple-growing season where he was nearly ruined. Violent hail storms bombarded his apple trees with ice pellets, causing bruising and pock marks. He feared massive complaints and returns if he shipped the bruised fruit to his mail order apple buyers. But if he didn't ship the damaged apples, he would have to refund all the orders, and his mail order business would be ruined. The apples were damaged only cosmetically. The hail had pockmarked the skin, but this did not affect the flavour or freshness. Young went ahead and filled his orders with the pockmarked apples, and in each box shipped, enclosed a pre-printed card that read something like this: "Note the pockmarks on some of these apples. This is proof that they are grown at a high mountain altitude, where the same extreme cold that causes sudden hailstorms also firms the flesh and increases the natural sugars, making the apples even sweeter." According to Young, not a single order was returned. In fact, when orders came in for next year, many order forms had handwritten notes that said, "Pockmarked apples if available; otherwise, the regular kind." Often, by being truthful about your problems, you can gain substantial credibility with your buyer, increasing loyalty, sales, and customer satisfaction.

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Bumper Sticker 1. No disintegrations. 2. If you’re running from the law, hide in a building and lock the door. They may decide to move on to the next one. Otherwise, hope they don’t have blasters. 3. If it’s, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow. 4. Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars. 5. Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station. 6. Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you’re a god.

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The little brother of an Army radar operator asked: “Jim, tell me how does radar work?” “The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel to the target and back can be determined with a great degree of accuracy, it is possible to determine the range to the target as well as the direction to it.” His brother pondered a moment, and then said: “As long as you don’t know, Jim, why don’t you just say so?”

A new choice in worry free adult lifestyle living!

Music Notes ♫

Jeanne Louise Calment’s CD was released on her 121st birthday in 1996. Titled “Time’s Mistress” it features Ms Calment reminiscing to a score of rap music and other tunes.

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Big Screen ~ NHL Package ~ NFL ~ Nascar Sundays Monday’s - Pool League 7pm Thurdays - Karaoke Fridays - Live Entertainment 8pm - 12pm Sam’s August & September Line-Up:

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Too Long In Saskatchewwan You know you’ve been in Saskatchewan too long when.. • Losing sight of the horizon, for even a few seconds, leaves you with a feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day. • You’re confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals and yet, obvious options like trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras. • You actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines. • You rent off-season storage space for your snowmobile on a week-by-week basis. • You sort your laundry into three loads: greens; whites; and green and whites. • Your other vehicle is a Massey. • You’ve required a total of 40 stitches over the years for various lacerations suffered while doing the butterfly at wedding dances. • Every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need a new curling broom.

Advertise Your Non-Profit Community Event in McGuffy’s News!

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Call J 613-342-o0n 42 Today! 8

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Science Answers From Kids

Phil Beale, a member at Gudge Heath Golf Club, has a 60 foot breaking putt and makes a bet stating that he has a dollar that says, ‘I can make this putt.’ Everyone takes him up on the bet. Phil duly misses the putt by 5 feet and says, ‘You all owe me a dollar.’ Of course, his golf mates all think he is crazy until Phil produces a dollar upon which he wrote, ‘I can make this putt.’

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Maid

Across 1. An Apron 4. Throw away 5. Make not wet 8. Sliding storage bins 9. Make repeated strokes 12. Make neat 14. Use an abrasive

15. Woolen floor covering 6. Electric carpet 16. Spot sweeper 18. Free from obstruc- 7. Wash clothing tion 8. Thin film of dirt Down 10. Garret 1. Comet or Bon Ami 11. Clean with hard 2. Place for cars rubbing 3. Thread of a spider 13. Clean with water

Words To Live By All people smile in the same language.

Occupational Hymn Favs The Dentist's Hymn ...................... Crown Him With Many Crowns The Weatherman's Hymn ........... There Shall Be Showers of Blessing The Contractor's Hymn .................... The Church's One Foundation The Golfer's Hymn ........................ There is A Green Hill Far Away The Politician's Hymn .................... Standing on the Promises The Optometrist's Hymn ................... Open My Eyes That I Might See The Tax Agent's Hymn ..................... I Surrender All The Gossip's Hymn ........................ Pass It On The Electrician's Hymn ................... Send the Light

Friends Like These A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, “Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?”

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Aug 10 Blues Highway Aug 31 Gypsy Moon Aug 17 Little California Sept 1 Absolute Country 3-7pm Aug 24 City Limits Sept 7 Whiskey Rocks Aug 25 4th Annual Sam’s tickets Sept 14 Blues Highway boat cruise$35 p.p. (available at bar)

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Spotlight on

The Olympics

New & Old - Drywall/Wood Mike Dowdall, Owner thepainterman3@hotmail.com

Did you know? The Olympics were strictly for men, as far as the athletics and combat sports were concerned. Women weren't even allowed to watch. However, women might compete in the equestrian events, but only by proxy as owners of the horses and chariots. The first woman victor on record was a Spartan princess. One reason for their exclusion, perhaps, was that the athletes, boxers and wrestlers all competed in the nude. The ancient Greek word for "to exercise" meant literally "to be stark naked". Tug-of-war used to be part of the Olympics. Tug-of-war was on the Olympic program in 1900, 1904, 1906 (Intercalated Games), 1908, 1912 and 1920. Tug-of-war was always contested as a part of the track and field athletics program, although it is now considered a separate sport. The Olympic champions were as follows: 1900: a combined Swedish/Danish team; 1904: an American club team representing the Milwaukee Athletic Club; 1906: Germany/Switzerland; 1908: a British team from the City of London Police Club; 1912: Sweden; and 1920: Great Britain.

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The Ancient Olympics started over 2500 years ago and were held in Olympia. In 1896, the first Modern Olympics were held in Athens. The oldest man to compete in the Summer Olympic Games was Oscar Swahn of Sweden in shooting (1908, 1912, and 1920). Oscar Swahn became the oldest gold medalist when he won gold at 64 years and 280 days old in 1912, and the oldest medallist when he won silver in 1920 aged 72 years, 281 days old. The oldest woman to compete in the Olympics was British rider Lorna Johnstone, who participated in Equestrian at the 1972 Olympic Games at 70 years old and 5 days.

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Carquest Marine Starting Batteries (#24M4BAT)

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Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!

At over 85 locations in Prescott/Cardinal/Spencerville/ Johnstown & Maitland The Canadian Hearing Society • improve communication • improve safety in your home • assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

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TTY 1-877-817-8209

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QBQ! and Adoption I am the eldest of seven Miller children and am the "youth face" of the QBQ, Inc. team. If a group wants to bring our QBQ! message to young people "live," I am the one who does it. I spoke to a group of 4th through 12th graders at a “Bring Your Child to Work” day at Navy Federal credit union. Star, the adorable 4th grade daughter of my client, came up to me after I taught QBQ and asked, “Ms. Kristin? Do your younger sisters ever annoy you?” In that instant, memories from my youth flashed through my mind – long road trips where we were forced to watch Barney videos; squabbles over whose turn it was to feed the dogs; yelling matches ending with tears and slamming bedroom doors. I looked down at her and smiled, “Yes, yes they sure do, Star. Why, do you have a little sister?” Star threw her arms down, almost in a gesture of defeat, and said, “Yeah. And, man, I wish my little sister had an on-off switch. Then I could just mute her whenever I want!” I love that image! As the oldest of seven children, I can definitely relate to Star’s situation. Oldest children have a unique position —a position of leadership thrust upon them by no choice of their own. I guess I’m a little different though. I was the oldest of four children, which didn’t seem too bad, until my family decided to adopt a sibling group of three young girls all under six. This time, I had a choice, sort of. I was 17 when we made a “family decision” to move forward with a foster-adopt program, and welcomed three sisters into our home. My leadership role as an oldest child was almost doubling! The first day we met them, we took them to McDonald's and to a park. They were so little! At only 5, 3, and 1 years old, these girls were far younger than the rest of us kids (at that time, the “baby” in our family, Molly, was 10). We enjoyed playing with the girls and encouraging them to come out of their shells. Their energy and enthusiasm for silly little things was refreshing. And, as it turned out, they were great little dancers! Over the course of the next few months, as we adjusted to having these girls in our home, it wasn’t exactly easy. How could we have ever thought adding three children would be? As a family, we were back to diapers, naps, snacks, and baths. I ended up, along with Mom, learning to braid the girls’ hair. Having never worked with African American hair before, Mom and I had a lot of learning to do! Those poor girls: enduring us as we yanked and pulled in our attempts to coax their hair into beads and clips. Sometimes it was hard to stand back and watch how this change in our family life was affecting Mom and Dad, as well as my three birth siblings. We learned that sometimes, "love doesn’t conquer all." We learned about attachment disorder, and how the lack of attachment affects

children. We struggled to figure out how to interact with kids who only knew rejection and would find it easy and natural at times to reject us as they were once rejected. I used to close my eyes and picture how life was before we made the choice to adopt. I pictured us as we would be now—a grown up family unit, close to each other and our parents. In the past, I've thought, “Why did we do this?” and I'd feel awful anytime I'd catch myself thinking this way. When my adopted sisters are wading through their attachment issues, or when Mom and Dad are struggling with how to parent them, it’s easy to ask, “Who got us into this?” “When will they finally adjust?” and "Why can't they just change?" These questions, though, are not healthy. All they do is tear me down, and disintegrate any form of leadership that I might have with my siblings. And even though I am blessed to be a part of the QBQ speaking team, it is still quite easy to fall into the trap of asking lousy questions. I can travel around the country sharing this idea with others, but if I’m not practicing this myself at home and in my professional life, I’m a hypocrite. So when the negative questions are flying through my mind, I have to stop myself. The QBQ is all about asking better questions that lead us to a life of personal accountability and integrity. So instead of “When will the girls be different?” or “Why is this happening?” I can ask, “What can I do to love my sisters just as they are?” “How can I, as a role model in all of my siblings’ lives, live in such a way that encourages them to be better people?” and “What can I do today to practice greater patience?” At QBQ, Inc., we teach this truth: The answers are in the questions. When I ask better questions, I get better answers. I need to do that. Star said it perfectly: Sometimes I just want to turn my siblings off. And now, with two brother-in-laws (who I adore, of course!), my own husband, our two year old, and a baby on the way, there are even more "siblings" around! No one said being a part of a family was supposed to be easy! It’s a challenge, to love others more and love yourself less. Especially in a family with the struggles and challenges of adoption, we need to remember who made the choice. Each of us made the choice to add to our family, and every day we make the choice to love each other, in spite of our differences. Today, I need to choose to flip the switch and practice personal accountability by asking, “What can I do to love others just the way they are?” Now that’s a question worth asking. Kristin Lindeen

John G. Miller Author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’, http://www.qbq.com/ Denver, Colorado, USA 303-286-9900 John@QBQ.com

Character Quotes Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~ Judy Garland

Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed. ~ Cavett Robert

ice l! erv e Sel WATTS’ SMALL ENGINES S We at W Outdoor Power Equipment Specialists Look To Us For All Your Outdoor Needs! Wh

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613-345-2110

"Be Different! - WOW THEM WITH BALLOONS!" Receptions & Promotions Get Well Wishes Bon Voyage Corporate Parties & Events

Weddings & Anniversaries Proms & Graduations Births & Baby Showers Birthdays & House Parties

613-340-8781

Brad Sharron, DD 65 George St. Brockville, ON

www.brockvilledentureclinic.com

Marj Kempffer

www.decoratewithballoons.com

• Complete - partial dentures • Relines • Repairs • Soft Liners • Implant dentures No Referrals Necessary!

Auto Parts

Carquest Marine Starting Batteries (#24M4BAT)

SpecialCarquest offer!Marine

$19.95 Deep-Cycle Batteries (#DC24BAT) (after mail-in rebate*) exchange

476 King ST West Prescott, ON Ralph Murphy 613 - 925 - 1000 (Fax) 613-925-1002 Owner

Pick up McGuffy’s News every week!!

At over 85 locations in Prescott/Cardinal/Spencerville/ Johnstown & Maitland The Canadian Hearing Society • improve communication • improve safety in your home • assistive listening devices • hearing aid batteries

Phone 613-498-3933

TTY 1-877-817-8209

Or visit us at 68 William Street, Suite 205 Brockville, Ontario K6V 0A7

Four Season Family Fitness personal training is our specialty

Pre & Post natal fitness Youth with special weight needs Nutrition education FITNESS for families FITNESS bootcamps Group & Individual training

Katie Ball CSEP-CPT, PFS

Your In-Home Fitness Specialist!

www.fourseasonfamilyfitness.com 613-349-2210

Toys Toys Children’s Children’s Clothes Clothes Maternity Maternity wear Wear Summer Jackets Spring Jackets Sandals Rubber Boots

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QBQ! and Adoption I am the eldest of seven Miller children and am the "youth face" of the QBQ, Inc. team. If a group wants to bring our QBQ! message to young people "live," I am the one who does it. I spoke to a group of 4th through 12th graders at a “Bring Your Child to Work” day at Navy Federal credit union. Star, the adorable 4th grade daughter of my client, came up to me after I taught QBQ and asked, “Ms. Kristin? Do your younger sisters ever annoy you?” In that instant, memories from my youth flashed through my mind – long road trips where we were forced to watch Barney videos; squabbles over whose turn it was to feed the dogs; yelling matches ending with tears and slamming bedroom doors. I looked down at her and smiled, “Yes, yes they sure do, Star. Why, do you have a little sister?” Star threw her arms down, almost in a gesture of defeat, and said, “Yeah. And, man, I wish my little sister had an on-off switch. Then I could just mute her whenever I want!” I love that image! As the oldest of seven children, I can definitely relate to Star’s situation. Oldest children have a unique position —a position of leadership thrust upon them by no choice of their own. I guess I’m a little different though. I was the oldest of four children, which didn’t seem too bad, until my family decided to adopt a sibling group of three young girls all under six. This time, I had a choice, sort of. I was 17 when we made a “family decision” to move forward with a foster-adopt program, and welcomed three sisters into our home. My leadership role as an oldest child was almost doubling! The first day we met them, we took them to McDonald's and to a park. They were so little! At only 5, 3, and 1 years old, these girls were far younger than the rest of us kids (at that time, the “baby” in our family, Molly, was 10). We enjoyed playing with the girls and encouraging them to come out of their shells. Their energy and enthusiasm for silly little things was refreshing. And, as it turned out, they were great little dancers! Over the course of the next few months, as we adjusted to having these girls in our home, it wasn’t exactly easy. How could we have ever thought adding three children would be? As a family, we were back to diapers, naps, snacks, and baths. I ended up, along with Mom, learning to braid the girls’ hair. Having never worked with African American hair before, Mom and I had a lot of learning to do! Those poor girls: enduring us as we yanked and pulled in our attempts to coax their hair into beads and clips. Sometimes it was hard to stand back and watch how this change in our family life was affecting Mom and Dad, as well as my three birth siblings. We learned that sometimes, "love doesn’t conquer all." We learned about attachment disorder, and how the lack of attachment affects

children. We struggled to figure out how to interact with kids who only knew rejection and would find it easy and natural at times to reject us as they were once rejected. I used to close my eyes and picture how life was before we made the choice to adopt. I pictured us as we would be now—a grown up family unit, close to each other and our parents. In the past, I've thought, “Why did we do this?” and I'd feel awful anytime I'd catch myself thinking this way. When my adopted sisters are wading through their attachment issues, or when Mom and Dad are struggling with how to parent them, it’s easy to ask, “Who got us into this?” “When will they finally adjust?” and "Why can't they just change?" These questions, though, are not healthy. All they do is tear me down, and disintegrate any form of leadership that I might have with my siblings. And even though I am blessed to be a part of the QBQ speaking team, it is still quite easy to fall into the trap of asking lousy questions. I can travel around the country sharing this idea with others, but if I’m not practicing this myself at home and in my professional life, I’m a hypocrite. So when the negative questions are flying through my mind, I have to stop myself. The QBQ is all about asking better questions that lead us to a life of personal accountability and integrity. So instead of “When will the girls be different?” or “Why is this happening?” I can ask, “What can I do to love my sisters just as they are?” “How can I, as a role model in all of my siblings’ lives, live in such a way that encourages them to be better people?” and “What can I do today to practice greater patience?” At QBQ, Inc., we teach this truth: The answers are in the questions. When I ask better questions, I get better answers. I need to do that. Star said it perfectly: Sometimes I just want to turn my siblings off. And now, with two brother-in-laws (who I adore, of course!), my own husband, our two year old, and a baby on the way, there are even more "siblings" around! No one said being a part of a family was supposed to be easy! It’s a challenge, to love others more and love yourself less. Especially in a family with the struggles and challenges of adoption, we need to remember who made the choice. Each of us made the choice to add to our family, and every day we make the choice to love each other, in spite of our differences. Today, I need to choose to flip the switch and practice personal accountability by asking, “What can I do to love others just the way they are?” Now that’s a question worth asking. Kristin Lindeen

John G. Miller Author of ... ‘QBQ! The Question Behind the Question®’, ‘Flipping the Switch ... Unleash the Power of Personal Accountability’, ‘Outstanding! 47 Ways to Make Your Organization Exceptional’, http://www.qbq.com/ Denver, Colorado, USA 303-286-9900 John@QBQ.com

Character Quotes Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~ Judy Garland

Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed. ~ Cavett Robert

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Too Long In Saskatchewwan You know you’ve been in Saskatchewan too long when.. • Losing sight of the horizon, for even a few seconds, leaves you with a feeling of disorientation for the rest of the day. • You’re confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals and yet, obvious options like trailer hitches and air conditioning, are extras. • You actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines. • You rent off-season storage space for your snowmobile on a week-by-week basis. • You sort your laundry into three loads: greens; whites; and green and whites. • Your other vehicle is a Massey. • You’ve required a total of 40 stitches over the years for various lacerations suffered while doing the butterfly at wedding dances. • Every birthday you receive exactly the present you most desperately need a new curling broom.

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Science Answers From Kids

Phil Beale, a member at Gudge Heath Golf Club, has a 60 foot breaking putt and makes a bet stating that he has a dollar that says, ‘I can make this putt.’ Everyone takes him up on the bet. Phil duly misses the putt by 5 feet and says, ‘You all owe me a dollar.’ Of course, his golf mates all think he is crazy until Phil produces a dollar upon which he wrote, ‘I can make this putt.’

When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

Maid

Across 1. An Apron 4. Throw away 5. Make not wet 8. Sliding storage bins 9. Make repeated strokes 12. Make neat 14. Use an abrasive

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Words To Live By All people smile in the same language.

Occupational Hymn Favs The Dentist's Hymn ...................... Crown Him With Many Crowns The Weatherman's Hymn ........... There Shall Be Showers of Blessing The Contractor's Hymn .................... The Church's One Foundation The Golfer's Hymn ........................ There is A Green Hill Far Away The Politician's Hymn .................... Standing on the Promises The Optometrist's Hymn ................... Open My Eyes That I Might See The Tax Agent's Hymn ..................... I Surrender All The Gossip's Hymn ........................ Pass It On The Electrician's Hymn ................... Send the Light

Friends Like These A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, “Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?”

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Did you know? The Olympics were strictly for men, as far as the athletics and combat sports were concerned. Women weren't even allowed to watch. However, women might compete in the equestrian events, but only by proxy as owners of the horses and chariots. The first woman victor on record was a Spartan princess. One reason for their exclusion, perhaps, was that the athletes, boxers and wrestlers all competed in the nude. The ancient Greek word for "to exercise" meant literally "to be stark naked". Tug-of-war used to be part of the Olympics. Tug-of-war was on the Olympic program in 1900, 1904, 1906 (Intercalated Games), 1908, 1912 and 1920. Tug-of-war was always contested as a part of the track and field athletics program, although it is now considered a separate sport. The Olympic champions were as follows: 1900: a combined Swedish/Danish team; 1904: an American club team representing the Milwaukee Athletic Club; 1906: Germany/Switzerland; 1908: a British team from the City of London Police Club; 1912: Sweden; and 1920: Great Britain.

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The Ancient Olympics started over 2500 years ago and were held in Olympia. In 1896, the first Modern Olympics were held in Athens. The oldest man to compete in the Summer Olympic Games was Oscar Swahn of Sweden in shooting (1908, 1912, and 1920). Oscar Swahn became the oldest gold medalist when he won gold at 64 years and 280 days old in 1912, and the oldest medallist when he won silver in 1920 aged 72 years, 281 days old. The oldest woman to compete in the Olympics was British rider Lorna Johnstone, who participated in Equestrian at the 1972 Olympic Games at 70 years old and 5 days.

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I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

The Psychology Experiment on Birds An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game. The referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. ~ Carl Gustav Jung

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Riddle

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Unexpected set backs happen all the time. So how do we turn some of these ‘lemons into lemonade’ as it were? Tell the truth in your marketing when you have a set back. Here’s a good example; James Webb Young started selling fruit by mail order many years ago. He tells the story of an apple-growing season where he was nearly ruined. Violent hail storms bombarded his apple trees with ice pellets, causing bruising and pock marks. He feared massive complaints and returns if he shipped the bruised fruit to his mail order apple buyers. But if he didn't ship the damaged apples, he would have to refund all the orders, and his mail order business would be ruined. The apples were damaged only cosmetically. The hail had pockmarked the skin, but this did not affect the flavour or freshness. Young went ahead and filled his orders with the pockmarked apples, and in each box shipped, enclosed a pre-printed card that read something like this: "Note the pockmarks on some of these apples. This is proof that they are grown at a high mountain altitude, where the same extreme cold that causes sudden hailstorms also firms the flesh and increases the natural sugars, making the apples even sweeter." According to Young, not a single order was returned. In fact, when orders came in for next year, many order forms had handwritten notes that said, "Pockmarked apples if available; otherwise, the regular kind." Often, by being truthful about your problems, you can gain substantial credibility with your buyer, increasing loyalty, sales, and customer satisfaction.

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Bumper Sticker 1. No disintegrations. 2. If you’re running from the law, hide in a building and lock the door. They may decide to move on to the next one. Otherwise, hope they don’t have blasters. 3. If it’s, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow. 4. Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your binoculars. 5. Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station. 6. Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you’re a god.

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The little brother of an Army radar operator asked: “Jim, tell me how does radar work?” “The radar transmitter emits brief impulses of electromagnetic waves which are reflected from the target and received by a special receiver. Since the speed at which electromagnetic waves propagate is exactly known and the time they take to travel to the target and back can be determined with a great degree of accuracy, it is possible to determine the range to the target as well as the direction to it.” His brother pondered a moment, and then said: “As long as you don’t know, Jim, why don’t you just say so?”

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Music Notes ♫

Jeanne Louise Calment’s CD was released on her 121st birthday in 1996. Titled “Time’s Mistress” it features Ms Calment reminiscing to a score of rap music and other tunes.

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No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect. ~ George Bernard Shaw

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Playmates George knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered he asked, “Can Albert come out to play?” “No,” said the mother, “it’s too cold.” “Well, then,” said George, “can his football come out to play?”

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Not every astronaut has a PhD or is a member of MENSA. The minimum education requirement to be eligible as an astronaut candidate is a Bachelor’s degree. Considering how many photos astronauts take during the course of a spaceflight, a Photography Degree might come in handy! Disregarding Honorary Doctorates bestowed, the highest education for all seven original Mercury astronauts was a Bachelor’s Degree. The first astronaut with a Master’s Degree to fly was Ed White, the United State’s first space-walker, on Gemini 4. The first person to fly in space with a PhD was Buzz Aldrin, who earned a Doctorate of Astronautics at MIT.

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The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. ~ Jim Roh

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An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. ~ Pope John Paul I

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Best Boot Forward A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, “And how much money do you make a week?” Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?” The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, “Here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?” With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, “Pizza delivery guy from across the street.”

D @ P

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Issue 32

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Prescott Mcguffys News Prescott Vol 5 Issue 32